Not a teacher, but in my senior year of high school I was in a personal finance class. The teacher explained that not paying your taxes could get you incarcerated.
Student: "So if you don't pay your taxes, the government will light you on fire?!"
Teacher: "No, incarcerated means to imprison. You're thinking of incinerated."
Student: "Oh. Wait, then what's taxidermy?"
Were they by any chance immigrants or came from a family of one? Cos I think it's kinda understandable. I used to go to a school with a lot of foreign students in Thailand and they had similar mix-ups.
No, he was an American student. His mind was just typically other places. I recall seeing him browsing through pictures of pot on Google images in his free time
That makes a similar argument I had with a freshman guy my sophomore year of high school seem almost reasonable. Although he didn't think my being female with a thorough knowledge of my own body was suitable evidence for my argument...
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:00:34 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's sorta similar to how some people seem to think it's impossible to urinate while you have an erection. I've been told by some women that it's not possible.
juhniece ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:02:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, my grandma didn't know this until she was in her late 50's. My sister and I had to explain it to her. They didn't have comprehensive sex Ed when she was younger and my great grandmother was insane and a bitch. She was so ill-informed. I've also educated her about cannabis, alcohol, and LGBT. My grandfather was a cop for 50 years so he was no help in most areas as he'd rather her not know hah
The digestive system (mouth to anus) makes one, the nasal cavities make two and three, your Eustachian tubes make four and five. Fallopian tubes make six in women.
Where it all falls down is the nasolacrimal ducts. I'm not sure whether to count them or not, and if I do, how many holes to count them as. Depending on the medical diagrams I look at, it could be counted as two or four per person. Do the eyes count as blocking up the nasolacrimal ducts, in which case it wouldn't mater from a topological perspective.
Based on my recount, I'm going to say a minimum of 6 for men and 7 for women, maximum of 8 for men and 9 for women. Ignore my previous comment.
fishling ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:08:38 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are overthinking this question if you think the follow-up to "How many holes?" is "Topologically?"
Just count all the places you can fit a cotton swab tip and the two elimination orifices. 7 for men, 8 for women.
Mwezina ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:29:10 on February 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, yes. But not for the reason you think it does.
Duckie17 ยท 458 points ยท Posted at 18:06:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but more of a statement that prompted a whole discussion when I was student teaching.
(To set the stage, I would like to point out that I am white and my leading teacher was African American, and the classroom was about 60% African American, 30% Latino, and the remaining 10% a mixture of Asian and white. This was also my advanced class and we were discussing the apartheid in Africa.)
Me: So the Black Africans and White Africans -
Student raises hand: Miss Duckie, you can't say that
Me: Say what?
Student: Black. Its AFRICAN AMERICAN
Me, trying my hardest to not die a little inside: No, that is actually not the correct phrase. Can anyone tell me why 'African American' is not the correct term for this situation?
Silence
Me: Okay guys, look at it this way, are we talking about Americans? No. We are not. We are talking about a racial issue in AFRICA with no relation to AMERICA at all. The definition of AFRICAN AMERICAN is a person of AFRICAN descent living in AMERICA. So if the people we are talking about are not American, they cannot be African American can they? So to talk about the racial issue, the labels used are Black Africans and White Africans (as outlined by our textbook).
Student: No. You can't say that. They are African American.
At this point my lead teacher is face palming. She is in total disbelief, and as much as she loved to watch me struggle, she stepped in and tried to explain it as well. Twenty minutes go by of the two of us trying our best. The bell rings. The kids still couldn't figure it out. I think we both nearly cried.
British actor Idris Elba was once asked by a journalist what it meant to him to be the first African American considered for the role of James Bond. Hell, there was that whole controversy when Ellen joked about riding Usain Bolt, despite the fact that people were projecting their own ideas about what it meant to be an African American onto a Jamaican and concluding that because he was black they must apply.
I think I've told this story on Reddit before. I'm a white guy living in Africa. I generally split my time between Cape Town and Kampala. My wife is a black Ugandan. I do work with MSF in the poorest and most disadvantaged areas of Africa. We get American volunteers on occasion, as well as encounter Americans from other NGOs. They have on several occasions started all sorts of trouble over race relations. To be clear, the issues didn't exist, they just tried to create an issue and then tell the locals that they should be offended by it. Usually it resulted in laughter and dismissal, but I've seen it go as far as them being no longer welcome in that particular village or township.
Sorts of things I'm talking about:
Calling the locals African-Americans
Saying that the South African ethnic group that's known as "Coloured" is offensive and that Coloured people should be offended for being Coloured
Saying that I'm raping my wife by being married to her
Saying I'm raping Uganda by being a citizen
Saying I'm committing cultural appropriation by integrating with the local culture
Assuming that all Africans hate their life and want to come to America
Here's a bonus one for you:
Following me and my wife half way across Uganda to find out where I live so they could tell my neighbours that I'm a colonialist and they should lynch me. I wish I was joking. So here's the story. We're working South-Western Uganda. We finish. My wife and I are driving back to Kampala. We notice this person is following us. "Huh, she must be flying out from Entebbe, but she never mentioned it. I thought her NGO was based out of Kigali (Rwanda)... They must have an office in Kampala, she's driving their Land Cruiser... Oh well, we put it out of our minds and settle into the drive.
Several hours later we arrive in Kampala, and instead of heading for Entebbe she's following us. We figure she must be needing something from us, which we dread, cause she's been obnoxious about my race the whole time. We arrive at home, and age jumps out of her land cruiser with a huge shit eating grin on her face and says that she's going to "expose" me and that I'm "done." Oh boy... She starts banging on the gates of my neighbours, screaming her head off about cultural appropriation and how they need to open their eyes to the fact that I'm raping them.
A white woman screaming about rape in the streets of Kampala will draw a crowd. Soon she's got a whole audience of people who think she's been raped. She's asked to explain what happened and she starts in on her social justice warrior stuff again. Dead. Fucking. Silence. I've never heard such silence in Kampala. Suddenly explosive laughter. My neighbours start speaking Luganda and saying what a nut bar she is. She's furious and starts talking down to everyone. Telling them they don't understand. So on. Long story short she's told to leave in a very unfriendly way. My wife and I get along fantastically with our neighbours.
Turns out she was supposed to drive to Kigali, return the Land Cruiser, and fly out. Instead she followed me from almost at the Rwandan border to Kampala to make an ass of herself.
No one else has ever been that crazy, but there are other cases. One that was almost as bad was someone who gate crashed part of my wedding to make similar accusations.
A traditional Ugandan wedding includes a part where the man buys the bride from her family. Keep in mind we're not talking an arranged marriage or a mail-order bride. We met and fell in love all on our own, but the tradition demands I pay the bride price if I want to marry her. I don't know how this person got word of my personal affairs, but they show up at my wife's mother's village screaming about slavery and colonialism. Her dad is a cop, it didn't go over well.
The thing that gets me is that they always end up being way more offensive than they are accusing me of being by telling the people that they don't understand and that they're too stupid and backward to get the fact that I'm doing something evil by taking part in their culture.
I got in an argument with a teacher about this once. She insisted on the term African American to describe black people and I asked what if you have white American parents but are born in Africa? Wouldn't you be African American? She said no, that's offensive and that they would be called something different. But when I asked what she just got frustrated and angry. I was 11, it seemed like a very reasonable question.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:00:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:40:44 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe "white African American" or "European African"?
MSG17 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:44:20 on April 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you'd be American-African, or American-(name of African country's person, like Ugandan). With stuff like this, its usually ancestry-nationality for names
When I was twelve or thirteen, I (white) had a similar conversation with another white friend about a mutual friend of ours, who's black.
Me: Yeah, I know him. Kind of tall, skinny black guy.
Friend: That's racist. You're supposed to say African-American.
Me: But he's Haitian...
cabarne4 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:56:10 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'm just an ignorant white person, but I've always thought the term "African American" was wrong -- because you're assuming that (1) the person is of African descent, and (2) the person is American. If I randomly met someone on the streets of New York City, who's originally from the Dominican Republic, and is now a British citizen, it'd be 100% wrong to call him "African American", but without asking him personal questions about his heritage and citizenship, I'd have no way of knowing.
TL;DR -- if it's not racist to call me "white", why is it racist to call someone "black"?
Its not. I prefer the term black because i have no roots in africa. Like have i ancestory there yes. But if you go back in my family history you find hispanic white and native american
cabarne4 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:17:46 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure if we go back far enough, we all have ancestors in Africa. ๐
It makes sense historically, though. The term African-American was originally made up because at the time, many people were mentally sorting people into "blacks" and "real Americans". And in that context I totally get wanting to make up a word that really emphasises that black Americans are Americans too.
Damn. That is just sad. I'm far from right-wing, but that kind of knee-jerk PC that admits no question being drilled into people is a problem. It encourages ignorance. How old were the kids? I'm guessing high school age from the context. That should be plenty old enough for most kids, especially in an advanced class, to be able to discuss racial issues in some sort of intelligent fashion. And then, not having the critical thinking to parse "African-American" and understand why maybe it doesn't apply to people not in or from America? Makes me wanna cry, too.
I find the whole African American thing kinda weird. There are a lot of black British people, and we just call them British in terms of their nationality, and black/afro as their race. Most black people in the UK refer to their own race as just "black" too. It would feel weird here to refer to them as African British. The term "people of colour" isn't really a thing here either. It's actually considered rude to refer to a black person as "coloured". Not offensive per se, just rude. The N word was never really a thing here either. The equivalent, equally offensive word here was/is "wog". I have no idea where that came from, but saying it is a good way to get beat the hell up.
fakeeric ยท 910 points ยท Posted at 15:16:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did a quick back-of-the-envelope calculation. If a baby drinks 1 cup of breast milk, they'd get 11 grams of fat. At 0.9 grams per mil, that's like 12 mL. That's at least half a roll of pennies (by volume). they don't eat a cup every time, but they eat several times a day. After 20 cups, they'll have 1 cup of fat, and that's probably every week or two. That's a lot of fat.
Magnap ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:49:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excess calories turn into fat, whether they came from carbohydrates, proteins, or lipids!
Magnap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:43:24 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but lipids are more calorie-dense than carbohydrates or proteins. So if you learn that something has a lower fat content than you had thought, unless you happen to know how many calories it contains, you'd expect it to have fewer.
Yes, it's less calorie dense. But it can be much more filling than simple carbs in some cases. So the net effect is you might eat less calories.
Chuagge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:25 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Caloric intake is what matters.
Magnap ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:11:30 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, after doing the math, I realized that size matters, something I'd forgotten to consider when writing the original comment. Per kilogram of body weight, babies consume way more calories than adults. However, that wasn't the source of my original confusion, and "caloric intake is what matters" wouldn't be helpful in that situation, because my original confusion stemmed from learning that breast milk has a lower fat percentage than I'd thought, which implies it has fewer calories, especially since I believed (and still believe) that the majority of its calories come from fat. Basically, this response still applies.
Chuagge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:29 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was the idea of babies being fat, but totally makes sense now.
Palaeos ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whole milk. Duh.
Nimmyzed ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:19:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand the way Americans label their milk. In Ireland we have full fat, low fat, and skimmed milk.
Simples.
Americans seem to have all these too but also these percentages things. 1% and 2% would seem to have very little difference between them. Then there's half and half. Half full fat milk half water? Half what?? I am so confused.
For a country known for simplifying everything I'm surprised their milk labelling is so confusing.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:29:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
laeiryn ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:14:03 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's half whole milk, half heavy cream.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:20 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The percent means the percent of the milk that is fat. If I sold you a block of milk fat, we'd call it 100% fat. Normal milk is 4% fat. So the 2% that most people like is half fat. 1% has...get this....1% fat.
We also use the opposite color labeling for milk and political parties than you do.
US-UK
Whole (red) - Full Fat (blue)
2% (dark blue)
1% (light blue) - Low Fat (actually 1.5% if you read the Morrison's label; perfect happy medium)
skim (light blue) - skim (red)
Half and half is half cream and half milk; it is supposed to be a slightly healthier substitute than cream for your coffee.
We also can only buy our milk in gallon, half gallon, and quarts. Schools buy pints/half pints in bulk from distributors, and you can generally find a soda sized bottle of milk in a convenience store, but you can't just go to the grocery store and buy a pint of milk. So I just miss out on milk generally, because I can't use it before it spoils.
You can freeze milk you know.
Also there are lots of recipes to use up milk. I make a sponge cake which has high milk content. And ice-cream
Nimmyzed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:52 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We also use the opposite color labeling for milk and political parties than you do
Interesting! But why are you drawing a UK reference? I'm from Ireland!
but you can't just go to the grocery store and buy a pint of milk.
Really? You can't get a small litre of milk or the equivalent imperial size? Wow. We can buy pints, 1 litre, 2 litre and 3 litre. I've no idea what size a quart or a gallon is
sorry for the mislabeling; I wrote "UK" because I found this out while studying there
A gallon is 3.78 liters. A quart is a quarter of a gallon, so just under a liter. Milk generally spoils in the fridge for single people.
Nimmyzed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:46 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I'm lucky that I can buy a small pint of milk and a half sliced pan too! It's half of a full sliced pan but proper full size slices. Ideal for the single person who doesn't want their bread constantly going stale.
Meanwhile in Norway:
Double cream: Yellow,
Whole: Red,
Semi skimmed: Blue or green
Skimmed: White.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:45 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whole milk isn't 100%, though, it's about 4%.
And half and half is supposed to be half whole milk and half heavy cream. It's our version of table cream, for tea (though most Americans don't put it into tea except perhaps chai) and coffee.
We were looking at the Japanese flag and a kid asked "Is that why they wear that dot on their forehead?"
desi_op ยท 565 points ยท Posted at 01:45:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dot on their forehead
It is traditionally worn by Indian - Hindu married women and it symbolizes that everything the husband does or says is being recorded and archived and can be used by them against them in any conversation for the next 30-40 years.
tabytha ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 04:29:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how you make a cultural joke without relying on offensive stereotypes! Very nice. :)
Actually the red dot on the forehead is a symbol of civil disobedience originating from when colonists would point their laser-sight sniper rifles at the native Japanese Indians.
But I thought Japanese women* invented hiragana because they weren't allowed to formally learn to read and write?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah pretty much everything about Kukai in it is wrong. He brought Shingon Buddhism to Japan (a vajrayana school that's in some ways the polar opposite of Zen, focused on elaborate rituals and esoteric mysteries), and of course he didn't invent kana (but there is a myth that he did or that he wrote the iroha poem).
It's also a gross oversimplification to say that women were not allowed to read/write or that women "invented" hiragana (it developed out of cursive man'yougana), but the kernel of truth there is that kana writing (and writing in Japanese at all) was initially more popular among women of the court than men.
Random details are a little off like this, but the broad strokes are fine.
One multicultural day at high school one student asked, after having it explained in class about the significance of the forehead markings, 'they have to have their head tattooed after getting married? What if they divorce?'
jenbanim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have said they put it on the moon in the 60s, because people kept messing with it. And there's a secret war over whether or not governments should have power to turn off the waves, and sabotage all attempts to get to the moon, which is why no one has been back.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:30:01 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not immediately, no, but as the conversation progresses, almost definitely. It took me hardly any time to come up with that. But then, I'm crazy, so crazy comes naturally to me. :)
The Moon is the tides, what you really want to point at is the Sun. No Sun, no differential heating of the Earth, no air pressure differentials, no wind, no waves.
Bizarre indeed, because we have no switches on Lake Michigan either.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:54:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what confused me too, you'd think a chicagoan would be familiar with how waves work considering the lake is realistically an inland sea
westkms ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 20:49:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend used to be a river guide. It's apparently not that uncommon for people to complain that they don't get out of the river by their cars. They think it should be a round-trip, somehow.
He had a boat where the guide paddled two large oars while on a platform, and the tourists were mostly just spectators. One guy asked him why the track kept turning the boat around. So he started explaining why he sometimes prefers to row backwards, depending on the flow or simply to switch-up the rowing. And the guy interrupted to ask about the tracks. Turns out, he thought it was like a Disney ride, and the boat was guided by an underwater track.
My friend used to lifeguard for a popular natural water slide on National Forest land. One of the most common questions she was asked by tourists was, "Is the water heater broken? Can you turn it on, the water is freezing!" Yeah, it's mountain water, it's 46 degrees, nothing we can do about it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:55:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to know more about this natural water slide
Hmm, so this guy would expect a water park to just turn off the wave pool and ruin everyone else's fun just so his daughter can play in it? Sounds pretty douchey on top of stupid. This girl is doomed
Enzown ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:13:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We know that you oaf, he was talking about when that guy would be at an actual waterpark and request the waves to be turned off just for him, even though the park is shared by hundreds/thousands of people.
People like this really exist. We were checking in to our hotel room near some beautiful waterfalls. A man came down and started shouting at the guy at the desk stating he had called down several times and asked for the waterfalls to be turned off so he could get to sleep and everyone there was ignoring him. He wanted to complain to the manager.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:26 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmn, I was taught it should be "Du hast richtig"
or "Du hast falsch nicht"
Teoweoha ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:01:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listen to the old SNL "Ultimate Bears Fans" sketch. It's what a Chicago accent sounds like to people from outside Chicago.
One word that people often listen for is, "What's the state north of us?" Other parts of Illinois pronounce the o in the middle like the a in father, from Chicagoland it sounds like the a in apple. Wiscaensin.
There is certainly an extremely high variability in the potential intelligence level of Americans. Probably similar around the world, when you consider there are 350,000,000+ people here.
spazm ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a lifeguard at the Blizzard Beach wave pool. Technically not a real beach.
That reminds me, my boyfriend lives in a tourist town on an island. One summer, some cruise-ship passengers were passing through and an elderly couple stopped him to ask when they "turned off the river". He was stunned into silence and just walked away, he still can't wrap his mind around what they meant.
Watch the "Da Bears" skit from Saturday Night Live.
For what it's worth, I've lived just outside of Chicago my entire life and have never met anyone that talks like this. Most around here have your generic Midwesterner accent.
Joie7994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "pssshhh nobody talks like tha--- holy shit, that's us."
I mean, my accent isn't that strong because my parents were from other parts of the Midwest but damn that sounds exactly like soooo many people I know!
Haha, I know I'm probably somewhat numb to it through whatever exposure I've had throughout my life, but the stereotypical Chicago accent in entertainment is so thick that it's easy to identify.
My brother-in-law from San Diego, though, visits every once in a while and swears that everyone in Chicago talks exactly like that SNL skit.
Joie7994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is from another country and he occasionally tries to get me to say certain words just because he finds my accent amusing. Probably the most common one is he'll ask me what I'm drinking because apparently I say "coffee" funny.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was going to say I know plenty of people from Chicago but none of them sound like that that.
Of course, where I'm from we literally have no accents.
Warpato ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:41:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its literally impossible to not have an accent.
Lord7777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this in asked in the spirit of the post or do you actually mean it?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone already answered with the "Da Bears" SNL sketch although I've never personally heard anyone who talks like that. The people I know from Chicago sound the same as the people I know from Kansas City and STL.
Not a major water shortage but we were just taking precaution this summer. Anyway my 21 year old friend takes a drink from his water bottle, and then empties it. I asked why, and he replied that since the water was from the bottom of the "big tank" it was old and didn't taste good.
This man has been on the dean's list every semester in university..
bigrom10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold on.. She may be on to something here
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ok class, the state is currently running a little low on water, so if you could all fill up as many empty milk jugs as you can when you get home, we'll take a field trip to the reservoir on Sunday to fill it up. This will also count as your community service."
zantosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a very legitimate question in the context of how a kid arrives at a logical conclusion. It shows how parenting makes a world of difference between well informed and ill informed people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well we can fill it with tears of the innocent.
Ran4 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's... completely legitimate. Many reservoirs aren't used anymore nowadays, but they can (and in some cases, are!) be used as a backup source of water.
Yeah, I know... I didn't do so well with strengthening my arguments last semester. Hoping to improve. It's hard to motivate myself to do anything or to keep focused; my psych is evaluating me for ADHD but I just gotta forge on regardless.
I guess technically it would be ~18.5 since we refer to 18yo for the whole year. And it would shift slight depending on when people are born in the year.
inno7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:20:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, birthdays are not equally distributed and there is a peak (August). If course 1942 could have a different distribution. So if the general population of 18's are only born much later in the year, they might be slightly under 18.5 yo perhaps.
http://www.panix.com/~murphy/bday.html
I guess, based on the actual births and ageing, people are constantly falling into and out of the 18 year old category. The actual answer is probably a moving average! Da bam!!
Not a teacher.
In college a friend of mine and I were walking to the cafeteria and we see a girl he liked ( he thought that another girl and her that looked very al similar were twins) so he decides to talk to this girl and says.
Friend- Hi you and your twin are very pretty
Girl- thanks, but I dont have a twin.
Friend- Oh! So you are only one twin.
Girl, girls friend and I- laugh at him hysterically.
ESE619 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh 18??
Hellguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
then managed to forget he was wearing his own glasses and asked everybody where they were
As someone who wears glasses all the time and is a perpetually tired pigeon.... I have been so tired that I have accused people of stealing my glasses even though I am wearing them... from being that exhausted.
Depends how much farm work he/she had done, and whether or not they were the eldest male of the family (as the father had enlisted) taking care of their younger brothers and sisters.
Not a teacher but a classmate of mine asked if asia was a town in china, and, assuming that she was right, said that it was crazy that so many people from our school came from one town
I honestly thought this as a kid and wonder what's on the other side. Then someone told me that the map I was looking at have the Pacific Ocean smaller than it actually is, so is actually mostly ocean.
LeaLea17 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:28:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Australian and was in LA.. my convo with some guy went like this.
Him "oh i love your accent, is it French?"
Me "no.... no it's not. I'm from Australia."
Him "....oh is that in Asia?"
One time I was at a nearby tourist spot and there was a woman from Ireland there. A guy tried to hit on her by saying, "Wow, you speak really good English!" I jumped in super fast to try and undermine the "Americans are idiots" stereotype.
The girl who ended up being ranked 2nd in my year argued with like five other kids in our AP class that Massachusetts was a city. We were all about 17 and lived in the northeastern US :(
I ended up being ranked 3rd so you can see how that might upset me
I worked with a guy who thought Europe was in England. Same kinda thing. Except I live in a mostly European country and the Queen is our head of state, so he had no excuse to be that ignorant.
ddubs08 ยท 6333 points ยท Posted at 15:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 5 Sex Ed. I hade a rule that any question can be asked but I might ask you to ask your parents instead of me.
"I heard a story about a man who put his 'stuff' into muffins and fed it to grade 1 kids."
"Well... that is pretty digusting and I would think that person would go to jail for doing that"
"Wouldn't the girls get pregnant from eating it?"
And before I could say anything another student blurted out "NO!! They wouldn't get pregnant!! They haven't gone through puberty yet!!"
I am thankful for days when kids remind me that they are still kids :)
uncrew ยท 2019 points ยท Posted at 20:48:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in Grade 5 Sex Ed, we were allowed to write down our questions for privacy, and the teacher would read them aloud. Having just viewed an episode of Ally McBeal that included a transgender woman who still had a penis, my question became, "If a woman has a penis, does it work the same?"
I remember him opening up my question, staring at it, folding it up, and moving on.
bennitori ยท 694 points ยท Posted at 21:37:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the one hand, I understand why your question wasn't stupid. On the other hand, I'm not sure how else a relatively innocent 5th grader could've asked that without sounding dumb.
tastycat ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 21:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure how a teacher could answer it, or even read it, to a class of 5th graders without having way more questions come of it.
Ololic ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 23:27:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when it would be good to have a 1v1 meeting for students whose questions were skipped and they still want the answers for
Alsadius ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 23:35:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also for a horrible learning experience for other curious kids.
Tasgall ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:01:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But their questions weren't read...
I'm pretty sure the anonymity is to protect kids from each other, not so much the teachers.
Alsadius ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 01:06:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
50/50. I know that if I asked a sex question via an anonymous box at age 10, I'd be pretty freaked out if the teacher knew it was me, because I'd be freaked out if anyone knew it was me.
stingo5 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:11:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, my teachers got pretty good at recognizing the handwriting of students.
Alsadius ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:21:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easily fixed: "If I did not answer your question, you may meet with me after class."
If the student really wants to know, they can still ask, and they don't have to worry about their anonymity disappearing if they decide having no answer is better than confessing that they wrote the question.
I mean, if it prompts that many questions then that's a sign that it's a good thing to be explaining. It would be nice if kids were taught more about human anatomy than just "boys have penises and girls have vaginas" and grown adults didn't have to constantly pester the first transgender person they encounter in life with awkward questions about their anatomy
I don't know, back in my day if I said a girl had a penis I'd be called a fucking idiot, but I guess times are changing...
ghroat ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 00:58:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this. Someone asked "if the river runs red should I take the dirt track instead". I laughed because everyone else did. Only just remembered this. Wtf we were like ten
Sefirot8 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 01:21:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it makes me sad for the kid who at that age not only had heard something like that but was able to put it into context.
now im thinking back to how I always got picked on merely because I was actually still pretty innocent at those ages.
I remember my friend asking me in like grade 5 if I was a virgin, so I was like "no!!!!", thinking it was something bad. Then a boy asked me who the lucky guy was. I tried to claim that I thought she asked if I was a violin, even though I had no idea what a virgin was.
goodweek ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:48:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was just cello because you were no longer a violin.
We had a anonymous box like that too. I wrote "Can I get pregnant from masturbating?" and signed my friends name.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:26:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 02:32:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if you're serious, guessing that you aren't.
But in case you are since there are lots of little kids on reddit, no, you can't. If you're a male you've got the sperm needed but no ovaries/eggs to fertilize, if you're a girl then you've got the eggs and ovaries but no sperm. You need both to fertilize and grow an egg into a person.
Edit: Made it clearer that the egg gets fertilized and grows in the ovaries, since the ovaries aren't something you fertilize.
You got a pretty username, too. That's my favorite Daft Punk song.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. Didn't know it was a Daft Punk song. I was going for the leaked Martin Garrix and Ed Sheeran song Rewind Repeat It, because the first thing I did when I made this new account was post a download link to what I'd managed to scrape together with the leak and an instrumental remake to make it into a high-ish quality sounding track while we wait for it to be released.
Oh. Well there's a Daft Punk song called Technologic. I thought it was a reference to that.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:34:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wondered if one of those people who's born with a dick and a vagina a hermaphrodite could find some way to knock themselves up and make a clone. That'd be cool.
(btw not a kid, sex ed didn't really cover that stuff back when I was in school though)
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:42:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually don't know either but if I'm not mistaken most hermaphrodites either don't have balls or don't have ovaries. So they couldn't. Not sure if someone with a fully-functioning set of both could though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense, since the ovaries become testicles if its a dude they'd have to have two sets in order to have both. Never thought about it that way.
If this impossible phenomena interests you, you should read "The Bad Place" by Dean Koontz.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:43 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We don't even say hermaphrodite anymore; typically it's just "intersex" and most intersex people are NOT born with fully reproductive-capable sets of both organs. I... I don't even know if there's ever been a recorded case of that in human history.
"Although fertility is possible in true hermaphrodites, there has yet to be a documented case where both gonadal tissues function, contrary to the misconception that hermaphrodites can impregnate themselves. As of 2010, there have been at least 11 reported cases of fertility in true hermaphrodite humans in the scientific literature"
i.e., most people who are intersex and have multiple organs aren't fertile in EITHER set.
In case you were curious, the preferred term is intersex person. Hermaphrodite is commonly considered a slur among intersex people.
There are several conditions that can lead to intersex characteristics, and the situation you're describing is incredibly uncommon in humans. Either way, as mentioned below, having a penis and/or a vagina doesn't determine fertility.
I'd say that in this context it wasn't being used as a slur and was necessary to distinguish it from other variation of intersexed individuals since hermaphrodite implies dual genitalia where intersexed does not.
When referring to humans, that term has a negative stigma and may be found offensive. If you aren't concerned about that, I'm not here to change your mind, so that's that.
However, what you're referring to is a recognized intersex condition. Squares are rectangles, not all rectangles are squares.
Some intersex conditions can cause what appears to be "dual" external genitalia, and some can cause the body to have both ovarian and testicular tissue, or ovotestes.
Edit: I don't believe that the OP intended it as a slur either, my clarification was for anyone who wasn't aware.
My bigger question is how would a child even discover reddit. I was a man grown before I encountered this horrific place.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well by little kid I mean like around 10. Lots of their kind all over the internet, and reddit is a pretty large internet thing, mentioned a lot on YouTube and in some news articles and stuff.
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 23:36:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If she's on hormones, then maintaining erections is usually more difficult and sometimes it will decrease in size. Some trans women also feel more sensitive down there afterward.
HRT with androgen blockers can also cause sterility (temporarily or permanently depending on the individual, their body chemistry and other factors). Generally trans women of my acquaintance tend to find their apparatus responds more like a clit, in some ways. Some use viagra or similar if they want to engage in particular kinds of sex.
If you have further questions /r/asktransgender should be kind to you if you're respectful. Or, while I'm a trans man not a trans woman, I could probably tell you specifically what to Google to sate your curiosity.
We had the same thing, and I can't remember if the question was asked thru the box where we out written questions or if an 11 year old boy just blurted it out, but the one that always sticks out for me was "when a girl has her period does she have to put a tampon in all three holes?" As a woman, damn that would get expensive...
I can reply since I'm a transgender woman who still has her penis. It depends on the woman. Some trans women it works roughly the same, others it stays limp and doesn't ejaculare; it can also be somewhere in between. Mine is more sensitive to light caresses and licks but it's no longer responsive to penetration. I still get hard but not nearly as hard before hormone replacement therapy and I've lost about an an inch in length. I stopped ejaculating a year ago but still have pretty good orgasms. My breasts are sensitive and a must for use during sex and the rest of my body has gotten more sensitive. I need a ton of foreplay now days and back rubs really get me going.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, our whole class used that opportunity to mess with the teacher
During sex ed in Intermediate (Middle School) my school also allowed us to write down questions for privacy. The teacher read out a question and said to the whole class "Hey this looks like [friends name]'s hand writing!" For the rest of the year everyone thought he was gay.
If anyone is curious, after hormones not really. It gets softer, stops having random erections, gets much more difficult to have erections, typically shrinks, produces much less ejaculate, the ejaculate typically doesn't contain sperm and if it does it's in a drastically smaller amount, sometimes excretes fluid during arousal, typically gets more sensitive, but more difficult to bring to orgasm, and orgasms become more of a full body situation. In short, it basically becomes a vagina in the shame of a penis.
widermind ยท 606 points ยท Posted at 19:04:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I heard a story about a man who put his 'stuff' into muffins and fed it to grade 1 kids."
who the hell told him that story?
edit: this is now my highest upvoted comment. wut? O_o
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 19:43:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 21:53:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They still fired him, right? The "strength of the union" is that an innocent person doesn't unjustly lose their livelihood in the event of a hoax. They took the time to look at the facts first, THEN they fired him.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:14:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a long time. If there weren't specific legal reasons it took that long to terminate him (like requiring a conviction), that's probably a weakness of the union. They still gotta cover their asses before they succumb to public outrage, or they'll end up with even bigger problems.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jahkral ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:16:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright fuck it I'm becoming a hs teacher after grad school I need that kind of life security.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:24:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck not going to prison though.
Jahkral ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:43:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You seem to be misunderstanding my intentions regarding 'job security'
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was he a professor in?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ololic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I think I misread it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lovely
Alsadius ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:34:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think that, and to be fair it works that way sometimes. Not always. My dad had a co-worker once who was caught stealing tens of thousands in company supplies(totally random shit too, like he had five chainsaws), and when the company went to fire him the union stepped in and demanded that he be convicted of theft first. So he did a plea bargain down to possession of stolen goods, and since he wasn't actually ever convicted of theft, he got to keep his job.
Another kid, very possibly. Kids love to make up "gross" stories to scare each other, and they often don't have the context to know the difference between "plausibly mildly gross" and "unlikely but a felony if true".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably based on a story that was in the news here in California about a teacher who feed his kids cookies with semen on them and took photos. Apparently whenever the administrators got wind of it they'd just move him to another school so the thing became an big scandal.
Nukabot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably older brother/other students who are a grade or two up.
5th grade!? Wow, and I thought 7th grade was really early for sex ed. That's when I had it.
But that's a pretty funny question. Next time I have a muffin I'm going to have a good chuckle remembering this.
Focus62 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 23:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't have a "puberty" talk in 5th grade? We did. They separated the girls from the boys into different rooms. Wasn't really sex ed so much as about our "changing bodies." shudder
5h3z ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:40:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, us too (UK equivalent). Us girls had to watch a video of a woman giving birth. Vag and everything. We were all almost sick.
I took a Child Development class in college and we had to watch a video of birth. Class ranged from people fresh out of high school to a few 50+ folks. It was so hard to not laugh at all the people being grossed out.
Mind you I didn't enjoy watching it, but my mom was a labor and delivery nurse for around 42 years. I knew far more about childbirth by the time I was 10 than I ever needed to know.
I watched that video and was sick in a bin, and then was allowed to go and have a lie down in the nurses office. The image is still burnt into my brain and made me terrified of ever getting pregnant.
Also we had mixed sex ed, so the boys had to watch it too. Good. If I have to watch that disgusting "miracle" so do you
Focus62 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had forgotten mine until you mentioned the puberty talk. I just don't think of puberty talk as sex ed I guess, so that's why it was shocking originally.
We had "full on" sex ed in 5th I guess, like the main point was about puberty but we definitely also learned what intercourse was and how babies are made with sperm and eggs. I mean we didn't get into the things we did in 8th grade health, but still actual sex ed.
Our school system has them watch the video about their own changing bodies in 4th grade and in 5th grade they learn about theirs and the opposite sex as well. I personally learned about it in 3rd grade girl scouts but that was probably because our leader was an OB nurse.
Maybe it is a bad idea to have sex ed in 7th grade. I know that a lot of people have sex in those grades, so teaching it earlier would be better. Think my school was just backwards.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:07:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The vast majority of people don't have any kind of sexual interaction until late high school. Your friends were a very small minority.
That's a dumb rule. Some kids aren't comfortable talking about sex with their parents but would confidently and maturely ask a question to the teacher.
I still remember going through fifth grade sex ed and my friend asked, "if you're pregnant and don't pump or breastfeed, will your boobs explode?" Feel kinda bad we all laughed but the girl was a good sport who was often the class airhead in a cute way.
I mean, they're not wrong. You can't get pregnant if you haven't gone through puberty, as in, get your period.
Also, was this class recent? Because that story came out a few weeks ago.
ddrmagic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl ask
"Miss, can girls taste through their vagina?"
"No billy (not actually billy), they can't."
"then why do they make flavoured condoms?"
Awkward silence ensured before the teacher started to explain what sucking dick was.
pazpaz26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In our sex Ed class there was a girl who said that her mother gave her breast exams and that her mother was concerned because, and I quote, "one of my boobs felt like stale bread."
This girl had a lot of developmental issues, so I don't know if she was telling the truth, but looking back I think she was abused.
You guys did Sex Ed class in 5th grade? That's so young, 5th graders don't need to be learning about that shit yet. I didn't take it until middle school
Pfft my Sex Ed class in 5th grade limited our questions to one question per student. I had no problem asking questions so the other kids would ask me to ask the question for them. After two questions the teacher said I wasn't allowed to ask any more and the other kids were too shy so nobody learned anything. I hated my school.
The guy who was doing our sex ed in 5th grade had us write down questions on little slips of paper and said there were no stupid questions. The first one he opened, looked at for a second, and then threw across the room at the trashcan and said we should go play kickball.
durance84 ยท 1849 points ยท Posted at 14:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is the teacher, but this is my favorite story of hers. They were discussing how native americans relied on hunting buffalo and used all parts of it for food, clothing, shelter, etc. In reference to how they used the buffalo for shelter, one student asked "So do they stack the buffalo on top of each other?"
I am CRYING laughing. I am a second grade teacher and (assuming I stay in this grade and/or continue to teach this), I will never forget this as long as I live.
Elipsis_ ยท 3589 points ยท Posted at 15:36:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught English/Literature in a Juvenile Justice long term treatment facility. I have many great stories.
Me: This is a map of the United States. Here is the midwest--it's where your math teacher is from.
Student: Oh snap. We're in a war with them.
Me: Are you thinking about the middle east?
Student: Oh yeah, is that a different place?
Me: (Playing a trivia game with students) Johannes Gutenberg invented what?
Student: (Shoots his hand up in the air quickly before I even finished the question and very sure of his answer) Cheese!
Student: (Reading the three little pigs out loud)And the big bad wolf huffed and he puffed...and he passed it around
Me: I've never heard of that version of the story before Mr. Student
Student: You wouldn't, Mr. Ellipsis_, it's the hood version
DelEast ยท 905 points ยท Posted at 20:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I want the hood version of all classical tales. Where should I subscribe? Surely there must be a subreddit for that.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:40 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yo dawg, one day my homie Gregor Samsa, you know him, he never be slangin' - he woke up and he freaked the fuck OUT, 'cause he been turnt inna a big, nasty-ass cockroach!
Yawehg ยท 1154 points ยท Posted at 20:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: (Reading the three little pigs out loud)And the big bad wolf huffed and he puffed...and he passed it around Me: I've never heard of that version of the story before Mr. Student Student: You wouldn't, Mr. Ellipsis_, it's the hood version
No, you're rewarding them for being able to convey the dichotomy (e.g. the distance between the instructor and student experience and understanding) of this particular class division in a topical joke.
dewymeg ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 01:11:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You've grasped that people are different, here's a cookie!" O_o
No, the how and why and to what extent are the important bits here--and that kid nailed them.
dewymeg ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of the day it's still the kind of behavior that likely got the kid in juvie in the first place, and therefore, behavior that juvie isn't going to go around rewarding.
"We're going to build a wall around the Midwest, a great wall, and it's gonna be YUGE. They're bringing in snow, they're bringing in corn, they're bringing in politeness, and weird accents. I love those Minnesotans, believe me, nobody has more love for the Minnesotans than I do. But we need a wall, and we need it BIGLY."
Anchorman actually made a joke about that. Brick is doing the weather and then says there will be showers in the Middle East (he meant mideast, as in, New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Delaware.)
my wife worked with a woman in the senate (they were staffers, a long time ago, just out of college). she (not my wife!) said "The Pentagon? ...isn't that the hexagon shaped building?"
CaptRory ยท 3344 points ยท Posted at 20:08:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair that would confuse the hell out of anyone planning an attack. "Sir, we can't find the Pentagon; there's just this big Hexagon." "Well keep looking dammit! It has to be there somewhere!"
I feel like that's pretty apparent nowadays from wikipedia. What they really should do to hide their numbers is send all the planes in a straight line, like the mongols
Its based on the numbers from other units. Cant have a 100th infantry and a 100th transportation. The 100th in the U.S. army is a supply company. Its so if someone knows the company\unit number but not the job designator for that unit it can still be tracked down.
ahaara ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:48:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because
Velkyn01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure at first it was a tactic to keep our numbers and units secret. My example might not have been the best, as another person noted that those units drew down after the war and we're not reactivated. Also, the army is a giant clusterfuck. "If even we don't know what we're doing, then the enemy certainly can't anticipate our next move."
The 501st legion was also not the 501st, the Grand Army of the Republic only had 320 legions (yet another of Lucas's fuckups, a 3x106 man army isn't gonna cut it in a galaxy with 1017 residents. The man had no sense of scale)
I love that your hypothetical attackers speak exactly like dramatically frustrated Americans. The only thing missing is someone being called "Johnson" and someone saying "Get me the joint chiefs!".
Drewf0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why do you need to change the laugh spelling when he already put evil. I believe the adjective tells you the style of laugh, you don't need to change it even more.
froggerk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:08:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if it works as a double negative, cancelling out the 'evil', or if it just means 'extra evil'
Drewf0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Extra level of evil? Is this Super Saiyan 2?!?!?! Huehuehue
I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
easy, you just start drinking hard alcohol to numb the pain. at work.
This probably belongs more in the Childhood Embarrassment meme, but I remember asking my brother when the 4th of July was. In my defense I was very young.
It's ok! In college a very attractive blonde girl came to visit my roommate one weekend. She told us how she was interning at Fox news and how great it was. Over the weekend I came to discover how when you make jokes about dumb blondes and everyone laughs and it's kind of just a thing nobody takes seriously.. No. She was actually retarded. And now we know she might as well have been shaping major government policy! Hooray!
I'm with him. It's something we don't use every day. I had to look it up. I would have to think about it for a few minutes before it would click. And I don't prefer keeping the Pentagon as my desktop background either. So that wasn't a stupid question.
InFearn0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately it's a statistic; several surveys were made as well as Canadian shows going south and sharing idiotic tibdits while being readily believed by locals... I mean we do not have polar bear problems in the cities nor live in iglooss...
The woman worked in the senate... and didn't have much knowledge of the pentagon, let alone that it's named after the shape being a pentagon? I'm pretty skeptical about that...
It might just be that I'm dumb, or that the first time I watched the movie two days ago, but I just realized that the Tet in Oblivion is called that because it's a tetrahedron.
Poor kid probably fears asking questions after that because of the class ridiculing him. He might have learned about "pyramids" in the sense of using the word to describe the shape and didn't realize that they were literal things.
Gliste ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He or she has a point tho. Pre 2001 - You didn't call the Prism things in New York the Twin Prisms. They were the World trade center. He was probably asking for a proper name and not the general shape of the structure.
Also the correct answer is The Giza Pyramid Complex. You're welcome.
xsladex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now that kid will grow up in fear of being ostracized for asking questions. He'll fit right in.
I was riding in a bus on the way to the airport in Las Vegas when a young woman asked why there were some many "Little Washington Monuments" in front of the Luxor hotel. We all tried not to laugh at her. We failed.
Beegrene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister once asked me, "What's the name for those balls that they shoot out of cannons?"
scarfox1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't they collectively called the great pyramids of Giza or something. And hey Mr. Donario, I'm all grown up now!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A funny question no doubt, but I don't think it's a stupid one.
The student probably knew that particular geometric shape is often called a pyramid, just not that those things have the same name. Much like asking "What are those sphere-shaped things called?", the things being balls. Just so happened the name was the same.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually seems like a perfectly valid question to me. I mean, they aren't even just called The Pyramids, they're The Pyramids of Giza. They easily could have been called the Giza Tombs or something too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i think they meant what are they called ? like what name where they given. maybe he was forgetting they were called pyramid of giza?
I wouldn't think this is an all that dumb a question. I assume that he was well aware that they where pyramids, but thought they had a specific name.
I think he/she will most likely refrain from asking questions from that point.
Relaxel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was talking about souvenirs...
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tombs
Neoixan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one isn't too far fetched. A pyramid is a geometric shape, named after the pyramids (or is it the other way?) So it's not unreasonable for a student to have learned about the geometric shape, but not the tombs in Egypt. For all he knew they were called Big Large Gravetombs or whatnot and were just incidentally pyramid shaped.
Was present when a girl in my linguistics class in uni happened to share this joke with the class in an informal setting. Professor was present, too. I didn't see the prof cringe.
Come to think of it, I think it might have been the same girl who went up to the same prof after class one day, after he happened to make an offhand remark that men have one more frenulum than women do (while describing the anatomy of the parts of the head involved in creating phones). He didn't hesitate to sketch it out on the blackboard for her, as I recall. No, no leering; he really was all about "if you ask me and I know, I'll tell you, then we'll move on".
tylerchu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:19:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister thinks ovulating and oscillating are the same thing. I learned how to rip apples in half with bare hands and did so and when I set one half down, it jiggled and my sister asked how I made it ovulate. And I was like "what".
She's 17.
birdily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:10 on June 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can rip an apple in half with your bare hands?!
Yes. It's actually stupidly easy if you get the technique down; I thought it was really hard at first.
You put the stem of the apple (or where it would be if there is no stem) in between the fleshy parts of the base of your thumb. Your fingers curl around to the bottom of the apple. Then you use a rolling, not ripping, motion to break the apple. If you put your hands on a table while doing this, it almost feels like you're going to crush the Apple with your body weight but instead you redirect the force sideways with your wrists.
spyker54 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:08:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My computer won't turn on"
"Have you tried talking dirty to it?"
kchuen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:23:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
samfi ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:24:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't actually be surprised if they did, not a nation wide celebration perhaps but some fireworks at least, assuming there's at least some chinese that live there.
They did celebrate it here. Honestly it was IMO a bigger and better party than our regular new years, and this is supposed to be our country's 100th bday year, kinda silly.
I celebrated Chinese New Year by buying a bunch of shit that is on sale from Chinese stores. I got some Xiaomi Yeelights, two laser diodes, and several other things for cheap!
Jo-dan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:21:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Too late in the year. They need to keep it in summer. I prefer the idea of making it the second or last friday of every January, that way it's always a long weekend and you don't have to worry about people pulling a sickie the next day.
Jo-dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I realise that. I'm just saying that while it's a funny joke it doesn't really work for a day which is usually celebrated with a BBQ in the sun. Also too late for the hottest 100.
Another day in January would be much better.
Hellguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean they don't celebrate Canada Day in Guam, ay?
GokuMoto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
does he mean Freeza Day?
wgrody87 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:42:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wgrody87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
Mid1an ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 23:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an Australian, and was in the USA around Thanksgiving, a lot of people were shocked with they found out that Australians don't celebrate Thanksgiving
cptbeard ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 01:39:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and a good thing really, not to have murdered quite enough aborigines to warrant a party big enough to become a tradition
The holiday is actually called American Independence day. Not sure why so many Americans call it "The 4th of July" because that's not how they usually say their dates (I think) and they don't call other holidays by the date (I think).
court23w ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:13:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"the 4th" is quicker to say than independence day. I usually say "what are you doing for the 4th?" and people know what I mean. The "of July" part is just added for clarification. I hear it called the 4th of July, July fourth, the fourth and independence day. A lot of variations.
I'm Australian and I was travelling with an American girl in the UK. She asked the exact same question, and then followed it up with "Well then when is Australia's Independence Day?" Her mind was blown when I told her that we weren't technically independent and that the Queen was our head of state. She was about 20.
In Australia, where the Australian Governor General dismissed the Australian Prime Minister. Meanwhile, the Queen was asleep, and was told about it later.
Queen Elisabeth had nothing to do with the dismissal, and does not actually have the power to do it, even if she wanted to.
The queen didn't even know about it until she was told it had happened. Her response was to basically wish us well, and hope it would be sorted out by the Australian people.
Whitlam was dismissed because Malcolm Fraser, as leader of the opposition, had control of the senate and was blocking supply bills. Government had ceased to function. Fraser convinced the GG to dissolve parliament to force an election.
This is exactly how our parliamentary system is supposed to work. It had nothing to do with us being in a monarchy, and everything to do with us having a constitution that has system to break deadlocks.
I am all for the republican ideal for Australia, but people need to stop using the dismissal as the reason. In fact, it was a demonstration of our independence in practise.
If we had adopted the republican model proposed in the failed referendum, the dismissal could still have happened, and in exactly the same way. The Governor General would just have had a different title.
I wouldn't call the Governor General a higher authority, merely a fuse in the circuit.
Remember, the GG represents the Queen of Australia, not the Queen of England. They happen to be the same person, but it is a different hat.
The monarch has no executive power in Australia. The role is symbolic, and is essentially a way to personify the state. The monarch is represented by the Governor General, but neither really have a say in the running of the country.
The Prime Minister selects the GG, who then serves as long as the current PM wants. The PM can also remove the GG, with no cause required.
Should the PM be dismissed, or parliament dissolved, the outcome is an election. The GG can't just pick someone else.
There are things we need to change. Currently, the Governor General doesn't even need to be an Australian. Abbot considered inviting one of the princes, for fucks sake. There is no limit to the term, either. Technically, the Prime Minister could invite Obama to be the GG for life. Or Trump.
We should remove the Queen from even the symbolic role she has. Mostly, so that we look like a grown up country, but also so people don't believe that we are ruled from elsewhere.
You've gotta be fucking shitting me. A rich person. She's the fucking queen. Who can throw out governments if she doesn't like them. This isn't a rich person like bill gates we're talking about here
No, Australia doesn't have a Queen. I was referring to the British Monarchy. We are legally able to govern our own country without external input but we are still part of the Commonwealth.
Enzown ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:11:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Queen Elizabeth is the queen of Australia. Also the UK, NZ, Jamaica, Canada and about 11 other countries.
Also while you effectively govern yourselves you technically don't. Your governor general, whoever that is atm, is the queen's representative in Australia. Any laws passed by your parliament must be signed by the governor general before they can be enforced. This is a ceremonial role in reality as the GG will sign everything parliament passes regardless of their view on the law, it's just the final step in the process.
Oops I think I misunderstood the comment above, I thought they were saying there were two separate Queens (one of England and one of Australia).
Your response is the most correct. My overall point was this girl was completely surprised to find out that Australia wasn't independent.
djpc99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a separate monarchy for both the UK (there hasn't been a king or queen of England since 1707 when Scotland and England were unified) and Australia. The fact that they are held by the same person is immaterial. The monarchys of the UK and Australia are legally, practicaly and ceramonaly separate.
The Governor General is selected by the Prime Minister of Australia. Technically, they can be rejected by the monarch, but none have been since 1930. It is doubtful this could be repeated, as at the time the UK parliament still had influence in Australian law, but this is no longer the case.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:54:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elizabeth is Queenof Australia actually.Canada too.
Hooray for down voters of a description of the actual system. Alternative facts amirite?
It was probably confusing because our neighbors to the north here in the US who still have the queen on their money celebrate "canada day" three days before our independence day. They also celebrate canadian thanksgiving 2 weeks before ours. But I'm just an ignorant american as my canadian friends would say, what do I know...
The American embassy and consulates throw pretty awesome parties on the 4th of July. Not really easy to get into those anymore though. Stupid terrorists ruining me getting my hot wings on. Bastards.
Of course they celebrate. They celebrate that they are still alive.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:11:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I mean the answer is complex. Have they heard of Christmas? Possibly. Do they celebrate it? Possibly not. Are they Christians or brought up in the Judeo-Christian Or Secular Judeo-Christan tradition? Possibly not.
parents moved to cambridge and held a fourth of july party their first summer and invited all the neighbors. Lovely people. Apparently the party was a hit and the english were very graceful and had (or pretended very well to have) a great time.
British person here. Do you mean that the British would think it's disrespectful?
To be honest I think most British people are unaware of the history of American independence as it is not taught in school. For some reason we don't learn learn anything about colonial countries. I myself read about it on the internet.
I lived with an American who couldn't understand why we in the UK didn't celebrate independence day, I told them that we originally did but move the celebration to 24th of August after we burnt the White House. Not sure if they were stupid enough to buy that, I think probably.
User2079 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother-in-law was on vacation in England and asked someone what they do over there for thanksgiving. She also asked if the hair dryer was a bidet dryer. ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In all honesty, we don't really care for the reason behind it. Just make it a public holiday and we'll celebrate it like any other. With a BBQ and a case of beer.
We had two american exchange students in my first year class. One of them asked, "What language do they speak in Venezuela?" The other one answered, "Mexican."
jbuch ยท 3947 points ยท Posted at 14:50:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a corporate trainer, so hopefully this counts.
I used to train content for an exam that everyone in our field must take to get licensed. If you didn't pass, you had to go back through the course. Well, I had a dude go through my class 4 times. FOUR.
Here's the conversation we had before his 3rd exam:
Guy: "What attempt am I on?"
Me: "Wait.. what?"
Guy: "Well, I've taken the test twice, but everyone else in here hasn't taken it, so am I taking my test for the first time or the third time?"
Me: "What do you think?"
Guy: "I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."
Dude thought that he might be on his first attempt because he was back in a class with a bunch of people who were on theirs.
Edit: never fear, people of America. He abso-fuckin-loutely did not get a license.
marbotty ยท 243 points ยท Posted at 20:51:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if he was trying to figure out if he was getting the same test for the 3rd time or a similar test for the 1st time?
Grabbsy2 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 00:35:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I was thinking. In my mind, this is just a simple miscommunication.
It's good to see the word thick being used in its greatest context.
Yawehg ยท 203 points ยท Posted at 20:08:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what bureaucracy does to people. He knows it the third time taking the test, but he's trying to figure out how he should be categorized.
jbuch ยท 211 points ยท Posted at 20:17:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As much as I want to agree with you... no. I promise you that this was not the case. The average score for the test is a 76% and passing is a 75%. He scored a 38, 34, 47 (getting there!) and then another 38. Poor guy was just missing most of his brain.
sysop073 ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 20:43:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The average score is 1% above passing? That's a little alarming
nemo_sum ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 21:00:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if it's the average of passing grades.
[deleted] ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 22:17:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's a hard certification. You can fail in school, doesn't mean anything. You can't fail at work if it's anything important.
Oh, 5 is achievable. It just requires whoever is going to do the judging/decision making want to go down on you right there and then for how well they feel you're doing.
What's the point of having a test like that if it's that easy to pass? You're trying to weed people out who don't deserve licensure. The test is supposed to be difficult.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's pointing out that 75% is what's considered competent for whatever that licensing is for, and so the average person to pass it can barely be considered competent.
It is, the average should be much lower than that if the certification is to hold any merit imo.
sysop073 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:30:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be true if everyone on the planet took this test, but presumably most of the people who take it believe they are qualified enough to pass it, so if a high percentage of them are not something went wrong during the education process
No. There are many certification tests that are designed to have a certain failure rate. In this case the 75% is a somewhat arbitrary number and could be any score. Just because the people who studied for it and thought they were prepared took it and failed doesn't mean the test is poorly calibrated. Once you stop taking tests in school and start taking them IRL they can have different measurements of success.
What the fuck does your question mean? I'll elaborate just to potentially answer it, the idea behind certifications having high failure rates is that when you pass it you show knowledge and are able to uphold a certain standard that can be expected from that certificate. This isn't like a high school diploma, the certificates actually mean you are capable of doing certain jobs and just because you study a little doesn't mean you should pass them. Typically these tests also have labs/potential scenarios you have to work through in order to demonstrate your knowledge as well. The test will modify itself as you go along to challenge your weaker areas as well.
sysop073 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, if the test is designed to fail 25% of the people who take it regardless of how prepared they are, it is very badly designed. I don't care what "IRL tests" you're taking
The test is designed to fail the majority of the people, not 25%. It isn't designed to fail people who are actually ready for the test but it is designed to be a difficult and grueling test that when passed shows you are competent in that discipline. Those tests are typically not on a percent scale in my experience though and are a 1-1000 or a similar format. My Cisco certifications for example were like 800+ to pass. These tests are voluntary to take and are used to show your proficiency in an industry. It isn't badly designed but in fact very well designed for their purpose.
sysop073 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, well, we're arguing in circles at this point. It sounded like you were claiming that the test is designed to fail X% of people even if everyone mastered the subject, which would be a very bad test. You seem to be saying "some tests are hard", which...yes, they are, I'm with you on that
My point is the tests are designed with a certain fail rate expected, too many people passing is as bad as none. And it isn't like you can't take them again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I got my NMLS license (mortgage loan origination) last year I barely passed with a 76%. I scored higher than all my co-workers and classmates from the prep course. Exam was hard as fuck.
Honestly the US university standards do not ready people for the real world.
Yawehg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh well.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:03:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My slightly autistic brain struggles so much with bureaucratic forms. So many questions have several valid answers. I always need to get help because I can't seem to figure out what the intended meaning is.
For example, if I was being tested for the third time but the test was a new version I hadn't seen before, and a question was "How many times have you previously attempted this test?" I wouldn't be sure what the answer was.
What was the license for, if you don't mind me asking?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legend has it that he's still taking that class to this very day!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time travel. It's the only answer.
LeodFitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he ever get his license? If so, can you please tell me what the license is for so I can never trust anybody who has that license.
Alsadius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I confess, I occasionally get frustrated with corporate trainers for seeming kind of dumb to people who actually do the work for a living. But I forget sometimes that you need to design your lesson plans around people like this. Godspeed, sir.
Why didnt you just tell him instead of treating him likes he dumb and saying what do you think? Bad teaching lol
jbuch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because sometimes you have to force people to come up with answers on their own. Especially ones that are super obvious. It does people zero good when you just tell them what they want to hear. Sounds like you had some bad teachers, friend.
Because sometimes you have to force people to come up with answers on their own.
You don't have to force people to come up with answers on their own, you help give them the tools they need to come up with the answers on their own. You don't force them like that or shame them like that to make them give you the answer- that's just shitty teaching. It's a dick move using sarcasm to try and teach. It's a shit thing to do to someone. I am a teacher. I didn't have bad teachers like that. You're not helping him find an answer on his own, you're shaming him. That's not teaching. That's just being a dick because you think it's funny. In that moment, you failed as a teacher, and now posting it on the internet to make fun of him? Yeah dude, that's a shitty thing to do, anonymous or not. That's why you're not really a "teacher." It's the difference between a good teacher who knows what he/she's doing and just a guy who is trying to train people for some corporate job. If that's what you think good teaching is, then there is a reason the avg is 76%, and it's not because the test is 'hard.'
Solkre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a Corn Flakes tester. Take it again, for the first time.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's only the second attempt if you passed it and retake it.
Shotaro ยท 2313 points ยท Posted at 15:20:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a maths teacher. One day a student apropos of nothing right at the start of the class looked me dead in the eyes and asked me.
"How did Jesus nail his other hand to the cross?" He then began miming the impossible task, musing over whether he had a hammer on a rope in his mouth and swung his head side to side to insert the final nail.
"He didn't" I replied
"Oh." Said the student with a long pause. "That makes sense."
This is the one question in here I really want to ask the person about. I'm baffled as to how someone could know that much detail about the crucifixion except for who did it.
Shotaro ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 00:09:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly my desire to get on with the lesson trumped my desire to ask them for more detail. The student was a bit of a joker though so in my mind I figured he was trying to derail my lesson before it started. Regardless it's a really stupid question.
Taught religion in a catholic school (substitute teacher). One kid asked me how Jesus died. In a room which had at least 3 crucifixes in it. This kid had been in catholic education for about 10 years at this point.
Best answer to a question I got was:
Q: What is religious fundamentalism?
A: An example of religious fundamentalism is having a bake sale to raise funds for your religion.
To be fair, by using a bake sale, you actively promote your religion and agenda, leading to the exacerbation of religious fundamentalism, especially due to the advent of globalization and the presence of telecommunication technology.
Meh, I think that's a fair question though. If you are reading the text in its native language the names are Aramaic/Hebrew/Etc. but they are generally all referred to now by an English equivalent to their names.
I have tried and I can't. It honestly takes a certain dialect to make the names sound right and me being a central Iowan from Dutch heritage doesn't really lend to that ability very well.
It's because the average American kid can barely learn one.
ducks
Shotaro ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:05:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So at the start of the lesson I would always ask how learners were and give them the opportunity to talk a little bit. Put the learners at ease and makes you more accessible. The learner just blurted this out at one point.
You should of kicked him out, after taking the gems from his staff first, of course.
I never thought I'd hear the phrase "Apropos of nothing" in a conversation. :)
Xenethra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My math tests had Bible verses that got graded, granted I went to a Christian school.
karl2025 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:00:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've read more than one story in the newspaper about someone who tried to commit suicide by crucifixion who didn't ponder that question until after they had already nailed up one hand.
How old do you have to be to smoke crack? ~ a fellow student at Waukegan circa 1988.
[deleted] ยท 3573 points ยท Posted at 15:40:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Peuned ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:30:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old enough to ask was how beer was handled in Germany when I was a kid. Go to a bar in a small town, ask for eine bier, sip it once because 14 year old me doesn't like beer
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:42:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
None. I've tried like 6 different kinds, none made it past my pharynx.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:10:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You knew what the information being requested was and specifically refused to answer it. Want to give it another try? To clarify drinking is when something passes your lips so we are on the same page.
Most of the kids in Waukegan cannot afford much more than crappy weed and cheap beer. Coca products were far more prevalent among Carmel, Libertyville, Stevenson students who could afford such things.
Sno_Wolf ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:03:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot upvote this enough. My senior year in high school they ended our undefeated football season and knocked us out of the state basketball super-sectional. Screw them.
Seriously though, this school is one of the best in the state but thats because they poach teachers from other schools. At my HS we has an amazing math dept head who taught APCS for years and did an amazing job with the class - Stevenson offered him a lot more money so he left for there. And most teachers at my HS made 80k+ and the school itself was top 10 in the state (top 5 without magnet schools being counted) if that gives you any idea of the conditions.
Sno_Wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to John Hersey. Their debate team can suck my debate team's fat, throbbing, dripping cock.
About 3-4 years back there was a major drug bust at Stevenson, about 5 kids got expelled iirc. Found shit like Heroin.
Waukegan defintily has quite a few students with some series drug habits as well though. Not as bad as New Trier (people there literally show up to school high on schrooms) but I ran XC with a few of the guys from Waukegan and they'd tell me some stories of parties they went to.
I do not doubt it. It's a big school, with a wide range of students. But to defend my hometown I seriously doubt cocaine in the form of crack was ever at all common among high school kids in Waukegan (or anywhere in Lake County.) I think most drug users kinda work their way up to crack.
The North Shore, where these schools are, consists of a lot of preppy white kids with way too much free time - 40% of people doing shrooms is kind of a conservative estimate from what I've seen.
DHS is a better school than NT according to basically every ranking I've ever seen - though I will say we couldn't compete with you guys on sports when you have like x2 or x3 the numbers to draw on than we did.
Also I dunno when you went to NT, but I went to middle school in the district and still talk to people who went to NT 2-3 years back, went to a few of your parties - hard to not find anyone taking molly or shrooms.
Cash5YR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Libertyville grad. Seems pretty correct, but that Mecca was more Lake Forest.
Waukegan High School entered our sports conference for IHSA this year. Had their asses handed to them and they have some of the rudest student sections I've ever seen.
Seems like they all are like that now.
Skudo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:39:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup they left our conference after last year (CSL). Always beat them in whatever we played them at. Honestly feel kinda bad for them. That schools been through a lot of shit lately and its not exactly in a booming area.
This past year in the NSC football tournament they played Stevenson and lake Zurich, you can guess how they got chopped up. But when Mundaline beats you there is a serious problem.
I certainly don't know the name. But generally I don think know opposing teams player rosters so I'm not the one to make judgement on that. The one exception being the Admrial from Zion Benton.
Wait, Waukegan left the CSL? How the hell am I just finding this out through reddit. Are they just going with 5 teams in the south now?
Maine East was always the punching bag when I was in school. I think they made rules that stopped all the good athletes from transferring to Maine South though.
There is a certain lack of sportsmanship, probably due to deep seated socioeconomic factors in the home and community. But in due time the first shall be last, and last shall be playing Tuba.
Former lville grad here. Remember when we played waukegan in football scrimmage 8th grade. We were killing them, per usual, when waukegan starting a bench clearing brawl. Some kid from waukegan had to get taken out on an ambulance and the waukegan parents actully tried to fight our parents. Prime example of the lack of manners, class, and intelligence from the people of Waukegan.
I was born in waukegan, and raised their until i was 12. We left after all the gang fights in elementary school where we, the safety patrol with bright yellow safety sashes, would collect random knives that were dropped. We also helped kids cross the street, but finding the knives was the best park of the job.
His parents were a little odd, but not at all the type to chase the blast. I guess he was just trying to ask a good question as a nervous underclassman.
Kids don't usually ask questions like this for nothing. Chances are he has a sister or brother who's in their teens who he's heard smokes crack, and he's probably trying to come to grips with what's wrong here.
No this kid was purely naive. It was speech class and somebody did a presentation on this new thing "crack" that was sweeping the nation in the late 80s. Somehow this freshman thought it was like alcohol with an age limit. There was much laughter.
Waukegan, IL? Not surprised if that's the case. I don't know if it was as bad back in the 80s, but probably only North Chicago has them beat for most ghetto high school in Lake County. If you have to go through metal detectors to get into school, you know things there aren't going well.
I didn't go to Waukegan, but I knew people who did and they said they had metal detectors, this was a bit over a decade ago though. Zion is probably 3rd for most ghetto school in the county. I knew alot of people that went there, so I've heard some stories. But as of about a decade ago, no metal detectors at ZB at that time yet.
I used to volunteer teaching at an after school program for 14-year olds. We were doing a project that involved balloons. One boy had blown his balloon but couldn't get it tied. I tied it and gave it back to him. He immediately tossed it up. As it sank to the floor, his face fell. Obviously disappointed, he asked: "Aw, so they're not helium?"
Edit: Wow, so many comments! For those wondering, we did have a mini science lesson that evening. I explained to him that helium is not a balloon type, but is a gas that's lighter than air. I explained that he can get helium-filled balloons at most grocery stores or places with helium tanks; I also explained that typically, helium is harvested from natural gas.
He really was a sweet kid, but he definitely had his fair share of these kinds of moments.
This particular kid had a few moments like this. We played a game once that revolves around a surprise trick -- if the entire group knows the trick, the game can't be played.
He requested that game every. single. week. No matter how many times I explained to him that it's only possible to play with people who don't know the surprise.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:21:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fairly intricate, but I'll do my best to explain. It's called "The Cow Game." To play, you need a larger group (15+ people), and someone (usually the teacher) to officiate. To begin, two or three people are chosen, and everyone else is sent away from the room. Everyone inside the room will be known as "cows." Everyone outside the room are "guessers."
You tell the people outside the room (the guessers) that everyone inside the room is now a cow, and they have chosen a "Leader Cow," to be the loudest moo-er. The "guesser" is to enter the room, and stand in the middle of the circle of cows sitting on the floor. On the count of three (led by the officiate), all the cows will moo, but Leader Cow will be just a bit louder than the rest. The guesser then has to decide who is the Leader Cow -- if they guess correctly, they get to be Leader Cow on the next turn. One guesser is brought in at a time for their turn.
Your original three are given the same story, but you fill them in on the trick of the game: there is no Leader Cow. On the count of three, the original three are to moo as loudly as they possibly can. When the first guesser comes in, the cows moo on the count of three, as loudly as they can. After the guesser makes his/her guess, the original three are to tell the guesser they guessed correctly. We now have a guesser who thinks there is actually a Leader Cow, and that it will be their duty to moo the loudest on the next turn.
HOWEVER, the original three have been told that, on the second turn, they are NOT to moo at all. Instead, they're to take a deep breath and pretend they're going to moo, but are not supposed to make any noise. The officiate retrieves the next guesser, who is fed the same story as all guessers. They stand in the middle, the officiate reminds them they're to guess the Leader Cow, who will be mooing the loudest.
The officiate counts to three, and what usually ends up happening, is the "Leader Cow" is the only person who makes any sort of noise. Hilarity ensues, and then the officiate explains the trick to the two new people. The game continues, switching to a new Leader Cow victim at every other turn, until there are no more people.
Obviously it works best to choose outgoing,
extroverted personalities as Leader Cow victims, and shyer individuals on the second turn of each round. This yields the most hilarious results with minimal impact on hurt feelings. Would recommend for high school and college-aged kids, as the intricacy can be confusing.
As for my students, they loved it. However, now that they were all "in" on the trick, it meant we couldn't play it again. Except for Helium Kid, who wanted to play it every week.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:19:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ibbot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:39:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG I always hated that game. I ran into it in multiple groups, but no one would ever tell me the rules. I'd be asking people questions of course, but had no idea what we were supposed to get from it. Occasionally someone would say it wasn't my turn to ask a question, but no one would ever tell me how to tell whose turn it was. People just kept saying I was supposed to figure it out, but only now do I know the basics about what the game even was.
If nobody ever told him that helium balloons were filled with helium, not made with helium, I can see his misunderstanding happening.
Some kids just don't ask many questions when they are young, and some adults don't give good answers. Both situations lead to people asking "dumb" questions later in life because they were given no or incorrect information beforehand.
Was coming here to defend the kid for understanding the difference between regular air vs. helium, til I re-read and saw that HE had blown up the balloon himself...
If no one ever taught him Helium was a gas, I assume he thought it was a brand of balloon that floated when you blew it up
AnnieB25 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:08:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not too bad. A few years ago I was helping my sister-in-law and her bff Lacy decorate the house for my SIL's baby shower. Lacy was in charge of blowing up the balloons, tying ribbons to them, and putting them here and there. She blew up and tied 3 balloons which she laid on the floor. As she was blowing up the 4th one she started kicking the balloons around on the floor. We asked what she was doing and she said "How long does it take before they start floating?"
Lacy was 31 at the time.
_Callen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should have replied in a high voice or something.
I learned this fact early on in childhood since I liked playing with balloons a lot and learned that they only float when they are filled "by one of those tanks". But it bothered me so much when in cartoons a character would blow up a balloon with their breath and it would float!
That's no unacceptably stupid for a 14 year old. At some point, he noticed that some balloons float while others sink, and when he asked his parents or whatnot they told him it was because the floating ones were helium balloons. If you don't make the connection that helium is a quality of the balloon contents and not the balloon itself, his stance here makes sense.
Now listen closely!Here's a little lesson in surgery, this is going down in history. if you want to be a surgeon that can boast, you have to put a tourniquet around the throat!
Ololic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:07:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People. Any sort of death -- neck tourniquet-caused or otherwise -- would stop the bleeding. That was the joke. And I'm aware that a neck tourniquet would stop the bleeding faster.
You realize that is exactly what a neck tourniquet causes, right? A tourniquet works by restricting blood flow to a certain area, in this case the brain/head, which kills the human.
-susan- ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any sort of death -- neck tourniquet-caused or otherwise -- would stop the bleeding. That was the joke. And I'm aware that a neck tourniquet would stop the bleeding faster.
That's in our protocols as well, under "obvious signs of death." Although, those serve a purpose because those are the only times we're allowed to withhold CPR (unless there's a DNR or paramedic)
grubas ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:15:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My paramedic course had the absolute strangest teacher who literally made up stories about how he saved people. The best part was that he fainted at the sight of blood. No clue how he got through training.
It varies by state, but in Texas, I need a valid Texas out of hospital DNR, with various requirements for signatures (Doctor being the most important). Tattoos, ID bands, wallet cards, they can only tell me that one likely exists, they don't stand in for OOH DNRs
Side note, In-Hospital DNRs don't work, as many nurses have been upset to find out.
mattyg04 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:17:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just had the most awkward image of blowing into some severed head's mouth and it just sounds like a dinky whoopee cushion
It's sad that they have to specify what "obvious signs of death" are, then you realize there are people behind that odd necessity. I've heard horror stories from more than one of my friends who witnessed vain resuscitation attempts either in the field or people that were brought to the ER, although I will say sometimes you have to at least make it look like an attempt for the families (esp when it involves kids, glad I've never had to do that) so that you can truly tell them "you did everything you could." (Although I'd HOPE obvious decapitation would be one of the exceptions to this rule, but people are crazy).
Ha!
An anesthesiology attending once explained this during CPR class to us: "If you have to move like 10 ft or more between ventilation and chest compression, then don't bother"
I was teaching a course. I started with "OK, some wires got crossed and I actually wasn't supposed to be teaching today. So, go over the syllabus. I'm going to get changed into my uniform and grab some coffee."
"Also... everyone pay attention. Eyes on me. This room is an actual working clinic. We take overflow in the event of a mass casualty situation. The stuff upstairs is for training. This stuff down here is real. Don't touch the equipment."
I go off to remember how to be alive for the day. I'd been working for about 48 hours at that point.
I came back with a cup of coffee and a fresh uniform. I opened the door to see this soldier holding the very real defibrillator to his head. He yelled "Clear!", zapped himself, and crumpled into a heap onto the floor.
I used that incident to get better training facilities because we couldn't trust young medics not to zap themselves even when told not to.
Was it an AED or a monitor? I'm surprised people would fuck with a monitor, but hey, I'm constantly surprised by the stupidity of people. Is he ok?
In High School chemistry, we had a "powder identification lab", where we had to identify mostly white powders in stoppered test tubes by the way they looked basically. Most of it was harmless, like salt, but some of it was kinda dangerous if you ingested it somehow.
So this fucking kid unstoppers one of the test tubes, and decides to taste it. Everyone at our table was saying "wtf are you doing", and after he tastes it, he says "Relax, it's probably all salt anyway", despite us spending all day identifying these powders based only on what they look like.
No it was a full on manual defibrillator. He ended up being hospitalized for a while. Also, AEDs typically wont work unless they detect a shockable rhythm. Typically, being the key word. Your mileage may vary.
Forgive my ignorance but what ultimately happened to him? Did he stop his heart? Did he need another defibrillation to revive him? Did he have brain damage?
What actually happens when someone who doesn't need a defibrillator gets defibrillated?
Depends on where it is. There's a reason we put the pads or paddles on a specific point. It might stop your heart or(Most likely) it might throw it into a weird rhythm where we have to hit you again. It depends on the placement and the power.
He was breathing normally and his heart was sort of normal(very high heart rate). I called for an ambulance and pretty much just monitored his vitals until they carted him off. All I knew was that he never came back.
I believe it. On the same night that I got facial trauma, had a guy grab a handful of gauze to stop the bleeding, by holding it over my nose and mouth.
Then, when I got to the hospital, as I'm talking to an RN, one of the CNA/LPN nurses came over with an NPA (Nasopharyngeal Airway, used to make an airway through the nose if someone is having trouble breathing). RN made him feel real stupid about that.
ZAVHDOW ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:49:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What exactly was stupid about that? And who was being stupid exactly?
Ohmigawd. I didn't think I could lose my faith in med students and residents any more than I already have since working in the medical field. I am so deeply disappointed to find out I was wrong.
evorm ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 14:56:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also if you click "source" under someone's post it should show you their formatting. I use RES though so I don't know if that is a feature of that or an actual Reddit thing.
A tourniquet is used to stem blow flow by shutting off circulation through constriction. In this case if the patient is hemorrhaging from their brain you would try to stop blood flow from the heart (not in reality because you would not stop blood flow to the brain for any real amount of time) and the question was posed if you could do so by a tourniquet on their neck, which would not only stop blood flow to the brain but also shut off a person's air supply causing them to asphyxiate and die.
This should be near the top. The only one that made me LOL
Iamtevya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My idiot test for new residents (MDs in training) was to tell them they should consider obtaining a manual carotid BP if they were unable to obtain an accurate brachial BP.
Lundix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I heard a similar one in medic training. We were drilling procedures for injuries caused by high-level kinetic energy. You know, stabilizing the spinal chord and whatnot. When the instructor asked how to best put on the neck brace (it being implied that you have to be careful) one of my classmates proposed to just grab by the hair and lift the head. I would have disimssed it as a joke if I didn't know the guy.
When I teach the med students about tourniquets, I always get them by going -
Q. "If a lower leg is bleeding, where do you put the tourniquet?"
A. "The thigh!"
Q. "If the antecubital fossa is bleeding, where do you out the tourniquet."
A. "The upper arm!"
Q. "If the scalp is bleeding, where do you put the tourniquet?"
They always exuberantly yell "the neck!!"
I just sit there until one of them figures it out. Usually doesn't take long. At all.
Then they all laugh and make fun of each other....but they will remember to never tourniquet the neck.
garuba2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Th-Tha.. No.. You can't. That's not how they work. What happens is a vessel /in/ the brain bursts somehow (usually by trauma or ruptured aneurysm) and bleeds out. The pressure will kill you before the blood-loss will.
Source: Mother (and maternal grandfather) had an aneurysm rupture. Scariest shit on this earth (and I've seen her live through two heart attacks before this).
Edited to add: to relieve the pressure and stabilize her, they drilled a hole in her skull and inserted a tube to drain blood and fluid off. Once she was stable enough, they did an angiogram and coiled the rupture (which was actually the very next day). Also took note of a second aneurysm (but it hasn't grown in size and is too small to rupture so they aren't worried right now). Seriously, the best way to save someone's life is to call for help IMMEDIATELY. She suffered virtually no damage and has made a pretty full recovery since.
This was one of the greatest things we were joking about in the military, because we were specifically told not to put it around somebody's neck if they have a wound on the head. That and to write the time of application on the victim's body with a sharpie, because a tourniquet can't stay on for too long...
bobr05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Akilies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother had a brain hemorrhage and made it through. They must not have used the neck tourniquet method then... or maybe they tried but the tourniquet failed?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Head amputation is far more efficient.
durx1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've Guard this a few times. Completely serious. Sometimes I used to send young Marines out to find a neck tourniquet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's not wrong. It would work. That's not really a dumb question if you know how tourniquets work and that the point of fixing a hemorrhage is to stop the bleeding.
That goes along with the logic that bleach kills most germs and viruses...so ingesting or injecting bleach would take care of the common cold or HIV. Not gonna lie, when I was 12 years old I remember thinking this when I learned that bleach kills bacteria and stuff. I had recently been given the weekly task of cleaning the bathroom and had been reading the labels on the Lysol, Clorox, and other cleaning products. Kills 99.9% of germs.
But then I thought about it for a few minutes, and realized that I wasn't a genius who had just had a medical breakthrough of an idea; also I wasn't smarter than science, the entire medical profession, or the rest of humanity.
sluiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
keknom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you were teaching Dr. Zoidberg
CrowSage ยท 9064 points ยท Posted at 15:02:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As part of teaching U.S. Government I ran a zombie apocalypse scenario where the students had to respond to an ongoing crisis in real-time using the actual powers of the government as different parts of the government. It was my favorite activity all semester and I went all in, including with a large map of the U.S. that would be updated for every day that passed.
As part of this activity I prepared a handout of a fake news story about the zombie apocalypse beginning in our home town. It had pictures of zombies shambling around and was written all newspaper style.
One day, after handing these out, an 18 year old student raised their hand and said "Mr. CrowSage, did this really happen?"
That's an amazing activity. When FEMA released their zombie survival guide I definitely sat down and read the whole guide, instead of just doing a mental of checklist of things that I think I need to prepared.
edit 2: according to this link it was a joint CDC/FEMA collaboration
khaeen ยท 1458 points ยท Posted at 17:35:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The FEMA guide is actually a part of the overall zombie plans created by Homeland Security. Preparing against zombies happens to also work against everything from chemical bioweapons and pandemics down to mass rioting, so the government decided to take some notes.
The major towns and cities were abandoned by the population as panic set in and players rushed to evacuate to the relative safety of the countryside, leaving urban areas filled to the brim with corpses, and the city streets literally white with the bones of the dead.
Someone had just a little bit too much fun writing that Wikipedia article.
Sefirot8 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 01:27:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this event is fascinating to me. and while unintentional, the ability for something like that to happen is also the hallmark of a good game in my book
I agree. I read the Wikipedia article, and your right, for a game to be so open world and dynamic that players actually tried escaping to the country side to escape infection was truly fascinating to me. I've never played WoW, but this got me interested.
Kagamex ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:14:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This hasn been able to happen in wow for about 10 years. This debuff was changes shortly after this event.
My brother told me about one he saw where a prepper was so proud of his bunker that he showed everyone around where the air shaft went out at.
Later, the producers asked the neighbors why they never built bunkers one of them responded. "I know where his air-shaft is. I just need a plastic bag."
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:43:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See if he was secretly smart that air shafts was a decoy.
People who make a point out of being prepared for all sorts of worst-case scenarios. These people range all over the political spectrum, though politics does play a big factor; I'm fairly sure the political split in the prepper community swung from conservative to liberal after the inauguration. The sorts of things prepared for go from the humorously outlandish (alien invasion, zombie outbreak) to honestly serious (earthquake, hurricane, and other natural disaster preparedness) to sheer tin-foil hattery (Obama commin' to take all our guns, China is going to invade, I'm just getting ready for the reptile men to come try and claim the surface world).
User2079 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:10:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They stock up on food, water, ammo, etc... in case there is a time when the sh*t hits the fan. I.e.- a zombie apocalypse is an example.
Just because something is a human conception doesn't mean it has no basis in reality. Are humans not real to you? Do humans not own things in reality?
That said, animals have the conception of ownership, of property and of loss. Hell, apes have proven to understand prostitution. Try and take from an animal what is there's and you will learn the wrath of a momma grizzly. Step into a wolves territory and try to explain to it that only humans own property, see if that saves you.
Your needs give you no claim to the property of others, looter.
Sefirot8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:14 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that is absolutely not what I said. thats a good example of strawman argument.
I said "the concept of ownership is a human conception and has no basis in reality". I didnt say if something is a human conception, then it has no basis in reality.
But lets look again. Ownership is a concept created by a social contract, animal or human. Its only real if we believe it, and we only honor that agreement if we are in a peaceful state. Just like money.
My point is that the squirrel owns nothing, and that a hungry squirrel doesnt give a shit who gathered the nuts. Neither does a hungry enough person. A squirrel gathering nuts hasnt cast a spell over them. They arent changed or marked. They just happen to be in a pile somewhere. There is only a claim if we suppose that a different squirrel watched him gather the nuts or knew, and then also agreed that "those are his". Its a fabrication of the mind which helps us coexist.
"Your needs give you no claim to the property of others, looter."
Please explain what makes something property in the first place.
Fun fact: I once met Max Brooks, and he described the movie (paraphrasing) as "an action-packed thriller that shares a title with my book and not much else."
Cyno01 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:56:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hes not wrong, title aside it was an ok zombie flick if you dont mind fast zombies.
Agreed. The movie was fine, another well produced zombie movie like all the other ones. If I hadn't read the book, I'm sure I would have enjoyed it just fine. But the book is something unique, just fantastic. Supposedly JMS did a script that translated the books themes well for the big screen, but Brad Pitt wanted a big action blockbuster with him as the star, so that's what we got. I can't help but think that a TV miniseries is the proper format for a good adaptation of the book anyways.
Eh, movie wasn't bad but it didn't really follow version of zombies or what the world did that the boom did, which was disappointing.
JD-King ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:24:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was really disappointing because the book is so good! I would love if somebody did a miniseries mockumentary with artifacts and interviews and old footage of the war.
Cyno01 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:53:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the movie is ok if you dont mind fast zombies, but it had almost nothing to do with the book. Yeah, the book needs to be done as an HBO miniseries, as like Ken Burns Zombies or something.
Love it. And of course they need to get Morgan Freeman to play Nelson Mandela. Hell, I'd love to see the actual celebrities in the celebrity mansion play themselves. Who wouldn't want to see Paris Hilton and Ruben Studdard wrestle over a grenade that blows them to smithereens?
Cyno01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, speaking of zombies and celebrity mansion, i just found this great mini series on netflix, Dead Set.
I met him at comicon a couple years back. I think he was just excited for someone to talk to, he talked my ear off for like twenty minutes. He really throws himself into his work and research. Couldn't get him to stop talking about the Harlem Hell fighters.
BTW you can be part of this too if you volunteer with your local branch of the emergency medical reserves, which requires no specific qualifications. This also opens you up to fun volunteer opportunities of pretending to be an injured person in some sort of disaster that is training for med students- which I keep wanting to do but they're always on weekdays!
And in this terrifying reality, you learn why preppers so often talk about a zombie apocalypse. Because it's OK to say you're getting ready to shoot zombies instead of fantasizing about killing people.
Yeah, the government is really good at making plans that are both detailed enough to be comprehensive and effective, but also abstract enough to work for just about every eventuality.
I don't think it's FEMA, I think it's probably homeland security, but there's a system called NIMS, the national incident management system, that's robust enough that we use it to organize and orchestrate search and rescue misisons, it gets used extensively for natural disasters like katrina, but you could also use it to organize, say, parking for a big football game or for a particularly large group project.
If anyone's really curious or wants to be better prepared for disasters, they have a couple quick, free courses you can take, honestly I'd say it's worth the half hour. If nothing else it'll give you a better understanding of the structure behind an emergency response, which can't hurt. I believe it's ICS-200, 300, or maybe 800.
Erlox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a fun way to get people to prepare for disasters. If something happens it doesn't matter why you bought non-perishable food and water, it'll work just the same. And weird as it is some people are more likely to prepare for a zombie apocalypse than a freak storm or natural disaster.
ChipLady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's genius that they took something "fun" like preparing for a zombie apocalypse to trick people into being ready for an actual emergency.
Yeah, you can write "put machine guns on the tanks" in a ha ha, this is all pretend report about zombies in a way you can't when the report's about how to deal with protesters.
Apparently it was a fun excercise. They really pulled a lot of people into it, including heads of various medical research labs, etc. from all parts of the government, and I hear that parts of military branches got to do a fun mock sceanario
[Clarification: Not actually moving people around, but the whole 'how would we react, deploy, etc thing]
A highly contagious epidemic that kills most of its victims and forces the rest to be carriers actively trying to infect the rest. It's literally the worst case scenario for FEMA. And if you can survive the zombie apocalypse, you can easily handle trivial things like Ebola, the plague, or AIDS.
I didn't notice at first, but my city is the setting for the comic (Savannah).
Creepiness factor increased by 10%. DD:
Wormri ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:53:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a very good way to create awareness about the importance of emergency kits. Top notch.
Asddsa76 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:43:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh come on, what a cheap cop-out ending!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't it just a general readiness kit though?food, water, flashlight, etc?
Lyn1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's best is this was released after a radio pastor preached the end of the world would be on may 11th 2011. The government was effectively trolling a senile old evangelist and it was awesome.
The difference here is that while improbable according to modern science it should be perfectly possible. There are parasites that make mice act strangely kind of like zombies. Whereas there is literally no scientific evidence that god is even remotely possible.
Okay I need this lesson plan so I can hand it out to teachers everywhere, because it sounds freaking amazing.
Torvaun ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 18:48:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out the NSDM (National Security Decision Making Game). I was part of the megasession at GenCon a couple years ago. Turkey managed to successfully join the EU 10 minutes before they got caught trying to help smuggle nukes to Iran from North Korea. Faced with massive sanctions, they immediately left the EU. Iran took advantage of US incompetence, and committed multiple acts of terrorism on US soil. Iran also invaded Iraq with "aid workers", which the US also failed to respond to. The US was massively dysfunctional, due in large part to certain members being unwilling or incapable of setting aside their personal biases for the roles they had (like defense-oriented republicans voting to reduce military spending by half).
It was a blast, and I would absolutely do it again.
That sounds absolutely amazing and I will definitely be checking it out.
Torvaun ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:53:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My role in that one was "Eastern Military Command Turkey". I had the Coast Guard, and everything east of Ankara. I was fully cognizant of the plan to use a Turkish submarine to smuggle nukes to Iran. But you know what would have been better than Iran having nukes? Turkey having nukes. So I was going to send out a couple ships and capture our "obviously stolen" vessel. But then the US Navy got it instead, and everything went to hell.
In that student's defense, when reading Cat's Cradle in high school I somehow misread the back cover where it said it was fiction as saying it was non-fiction. When it started discussing Ice 9 I thought, "I always assumed this was a sci-fi thing but I guess it's real?" I got very confused when the world ended.
Not exactly related but you just triggered a repressed memory of mine. My brother-in-law has dated some really interesting women over the past couple years. One day a few months ago he, his ladyfriend, my wife and I watched the movie Armageddon. About two thirds of the way through the movie his girlfriend asked the group, "Wait, this movie is based on a true story, right? I remember reading that this was based on a true story." She had seen Armageddon before so the events that would follow in the movie weren't new to her. I simply replied, "Yes, this is based on the time that we sent a group of people on a rocket to nuke an asteroid. I clearly remember seeing that event in the news for weeks."
Every time I've taught an article from The Onion - even in the context of a unit on satire - some student has confessed that, until I confirmed in class it was fake, they'd believed it.
In fact, I've found that repeated experience so depressing that I stopped teaching articles from The Onion.
In light of our "fake news" era, though, maybe I should bring it back.
smurkDC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, i was out on a date with this girl one time, real cute, kinda ditzy, but hey you don't need to talk too much at the movies. So, the first movie was "the strangers". You know, the one where this couple is spending an evening at a rather secluded house and a couple of mask-wearing creepsters knock on the door, break in, and eventually murder them? Yeah, well at the begining of that movie it says its "based on a true story".
We decided to sneak into another movie, because fuck it why not? Well this one was "the happening" with mark wahlberg, where trees cause pretty much all of civilization to kill themselves. About three quarters into the movie, while the whole world is basically dead, she looks over to me, and goes "wait when did this happen".
kolm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As part of teaching U.S. Government I ran a zombie apocalypse
I stopped reading right there because everything following would have ruined it.
And then I went back and read the rest, and it was even better.
That's such a great assignment. Thank you for being a teacher who actually cares and enjoys teaching.
xenha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In our english class we did something similar. Students were paired up and given 1 chapter of 'World War Z' to read, which is done in unique perspectives of different countries experience with the zombie outbreak.
We then had a fake UN conference with each pair representing that country. Was a really cool day.
A couple of the cool younger teachers at my high school would run a Zombie Apocalypse Survival seminar on the last few days of school. There was always this random week after finals that descended into more or less anarchy, and they decided to have fun with it.
They would have dozens of kids jammed into each class room, learning about all kinds of zombie stuff. My favorite was the "zombie documentary discussion board" that was just a long talk about the best zombie movies.
I would suggest she educate herself by reading the news more often. My principal got me to do that and I really appreciated it, helps me keep informed. Parents really shouldn't shield kids from that, those are life skills they need.
My experience isn't as cool as what you do, but I had a 5th grade teacher who turned our lesson on the discovery and early colonization of the Americas into a RPG where we all were split into teams with each member having a different role on the ship. I remember flipping the game on its ear by convincing my shipmates to be pirates and board other ships in the night to steal their food, water, and repair supplies. She made us roll die for everything we wanted to do and somehow we always succeeded.
We got to dress like sailors for a month and the winning team went to the teacher's house for dinner.
Dude, good for you. Teachers that go out of their way to make things interesting are a rare breed and I hope you know you're forever appreciated. I actually have never reached out to a teacher to thank them but I keep meaning to thank one specific one and I still haven't. I've always wanted to write her a hand written note because she was always very particular about handwriting and if you want to apply the term grammar nazi to anyone it should be her. I had better grammar in 8th grade than people I know now (in my mid twenties). God thanks again for reminding me. I'm literally doing it when I end this sentence.
Im going to assume that your actual name is Mr. CrowSage.
Z_star ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:09 on February 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can u be in your class next semester..Just tell me where and I show up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a similar thing....The whole class flunked except my 2 freidns and I. Jessica goody-two-shoes was busy running a democracy with 30 kids who couldn't agree on shit. My buddies and I seceded, formed a roman triumvirate, declared martial law, and solved the "problem" in 2 days. Then we just fucked around, until the teacher realized we were fucking around and then stopped the assignment and gave us As
Can we petition [the life-sucking piece of shit] College Board to add this to the AP Government curriculum? This would have made my class SO much more interesting!
And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the bear passed out of all knowledge
Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legends fade to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:38:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing about that: people in the past, before advanced weapons, were scared of bears (for obvious reasons), and thought that saying the name of a bear would summon one. So they called them "the brown ones", e.g. "bears". The original name for them was forgotten.
The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to bears, and even bears are long forgotten when the Age that gave them birth comes again.
"Words that used to have meanings, but that died out or survived only in idiomatic expressions. Like 'dancing bear.' What's a bear, do you know?"
"I don't know. I always thought it was some kind of graceful bird."
"Wrong. It's an ancient mammal. Known only on Earth, I think, and not brought here. Or it died out soon. It was bigger than a man, very powerful. A predator."
"And it danced?" "The expression used to mean something absurdly clumsy. Like a dog walking on its hind legs."
"And now it means the opposite. That's weird. How could it change?"
"Because there aren't any bears. The meaning used to be obvious, because everybody knew what a bear was and how clumsy it would look dancing. But when the bears were gone, the meaning could go anywhere."
This is amazing! I never realized that these kinds of conversations could happen in the future! I'm definitely looking for an opportunity to put something like this in my sci-fi story. Thanks!
Upvote for LotR reference. And boyfriend says he would have yelled at her "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!"
Sefirot8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how long would that actually take? I have a hard time imaging that happening. especially with people that tend to live forever hanging around. did he mean passed out of common knowledge? whats going on here, especially with a conflict that engaged almost everybody.
slaaitch ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:09:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The importance of the rings was known only to those entrusted with them. Those who discovered that the One Ring could control the others learned it only by falling under its sway and betraying their allies in Sauron's favor. Isildur knew it was intensely powerful, but died before discovering its properties. It is likely that Galadriel, Gandalf, and Elrond had some idea how important it was, but it was lost before they could move to destroy it.
And for two and a half thousand years, it passed out of all knowledge.
Sefirot8 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:47:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH!! holy shit this makes so much more sense, and makes the whole thing more meaningful. thank you. Ive read hobbit, fellowship and 1/2 return king. However from the movies, it kinda makes it seem like everyone knows about the ring i guess
โThe Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.โ
I just watched fellowship of the ring for the first time last weekend, and only now have I noticed lord of the ring references everywhere. It feels like a new world has been opened to me lol
Well, I've seen Battlestar Galactica, so I know that's real. And I've eaten beets, so I know they're real, and I've seen bears at the zoo, so I know they're real, and so I must conclude that the only thing on this list that is completely imaginary is Galactica 1980, a spinoff in which the Battlestar Galactica crew discover 1980s Earth and send the children to Earth school undercover.
SmokeDan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:15:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 19:51:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And one of them is wrong. I think it's OK to call bullshit bullshit, even if a small but vocal minority is offended, but that's illegal in some places regarding some subjects. Hashtag MakeBullshitBullshitAgain.
I actually like beets. My dad liked them growing up and mom always served them. Guess it's just something you don't realize is weird until you realize it's weird.
mocisme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please be beets! I can do without those ever sneaking into my salad.
DBUX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Identity theft is not a joke Jim! Dozens of people suffer from it ever year.
Two eyes. Two ears. A nose. A mouth. Two legs. A penis. I have just described to you the loch Ness monster. And the reward for his capture? all the riches in Scotland. So I ask you: what are you still doing here?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely beets. I'm pretty sure vegans are a myth.
Corr521 ยท 246 points ยท Posted at 16:09:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this girl who was convinced that buffalo were extinct. She then topped it off by saying "didn't they go extinct along with the Native Americans?"
Edit: For all those saying that buffalo went or almost went extinct, that's really not the part of what she said that concerned me most.
Wait, I thought that was true (not the Native American part of course)? Didn't the American bison that the Natives on the plains hunted go extinct at some point or were at least severely endangered by the railroad building? I seem to remember reading about that in history class at some point
I'm pretty sure it was a very common rumor that the American buffalo was extinct prior to the internet and people couldn't just look it up, I also remember this growing up.
former berenstein bear parallel universe inhabitant checking in, along with two other guys i see commenting above me. i also remember being taught they were hunted to extinction by frontiersmen as a big middle finger to the native american people
sadmep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my timeline, it was the scoops on trains in the west.
I grew up in buffalo country (Nebraska), we were taught that the Buffalo were hunted to near extinction, and were pretty much extinct in the wild at one point. The slaughter of American Bison was systematic, the Army even endorsed the practice, the railroad companies hired hunters, offered bounties on bison, and even encouraged passengers to shoot at bison from the train. They weren't even hunted for meat, the western settlers most valued their hides and bones (which they used for fertilizer), most of the carcasses were just left to rot, but mostly they were hunted to near extinction because they were in the way.
They were killed for meat and fur, and pretty much hunted into extinction. Not by natives, but by the settlers and people moving into the great plains. Wyatt Earp worked with a couple guys and was killing and skinning bison before he became a lawman.
Railroad was only a part in their near extinction in that it brought a lot of building, business, and people to the great plains. But it was greed and money that killed the bison.
Abodyhun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, but there are very few pureblood buffalo herds. Turns out they can breed with our cows and "beefaloes" make up the bulk of most herds today.
G_reth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seems to be another After Death (Anno Dominni)
I believe all the bison in the US territories were wiped out, and that the species was revitalized from Canadian herds. Or that could just be more bullshit being taught.
The Yellowstone bison herds are the only existing (plains bison) herd that has continuously existed throughout their history. There are also wood bison herds that have done the same in Northern Canada. The rest of the North American Bison were re-introduced. There's also European bison that we thought went extinct for a while.
You are partially correct. Bison were killed in mass numbers for sport and left to rot in the late 1800's. At one point only several hundred were left alive.
Since then they have repopulated and are classified as near threatened. You can even buy bison meat at most grocery stores in America. Take a look next time you are in the meat section. It's actually quite tasty, makes a good burger.
If I recall correctly, it wasn't even always for sport. Some of it was a deliberate attempt to wipe out several tribes' primary food supply.
Agsqwg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They became almost extinct here in Canada because wuen he railroad was built hunters would sit on the train and just shoot them when they passed by. This was to starve the natives
I think I was taught this as well and then I took a road trip and saw one. I just sort of kept it a secret how surprised I was. I was happily surprised and impressed, but I could have sworn I was told they were extinct.
The herd of bison found in Yellowstone are the only continuously existing herd of (plains) bison. There are also wood bison that have continuously existed in herds in Canada. Besides those exceptions, North American bison don't exist in the wild except where they've been reintroduced, mostly in National and State/Provincial parks.
They've might've been extinct in the wild/only surviving in protected swaths of land. I know there were tons of conservation efforts, but they're still endangered today and it's been over a hundred years.
To be fair, if things keep going the way they are, this will be a perfectly legitimate question in the future. Maybe the kid was just precocious.
EDIT: I now understand that bears are doing well lately. Thank you, everyone, for the heartwarming reminders. But climate change and deforestation are still things, and still a threat to these bears. And yes, I know what "prescient" means.
11181514 ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 16:04:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Few records survive from the early 21st century. All they know is everything went wrong "the day the bears left Chicago". So they search, sifting timelines from a thousand universes hoping to find the inflection point, the single moment that reverberates through humanity's future like the ringing of a cracked bell, and do whatever they can to stop it.
Or she just hates Bears. Whatever.
wangkerd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:49:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, kind sir, for finding this word for me. I have never heard or seen or heard it before, nor did I consider using it earlier today before deciding "precocious" might be funnier. I have a mere bachelor's degree in the use of English words, and I see now that my money was wasted.
I also doubted your usage until I looked it up and realized "precocious" and "Precocial" are not forms of the same word. So your dialogue with canopenerdude was obviously a teaching point designed for me. Thanks!
Dude, why would I deploy all that sass if I a) didn't already know the word or b) didn't take a second to look it up on the Google? Alas, I lack the prescience to avoid engaging with compulsive mansplainers.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:05:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
anttirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...do you actually know what precocious means?
ddosn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apart from grizzlies and maybe polar bears (although their populations have been increasing), I dont think I heard of any other species of bear suffering from decreasing numbers.
Betsy DeVos was right when she said bears were a threat to schools! She must know of some growing bear rebellion.
On a totally serious note, I don't feel it was a stupid question. The white rhino is nearing extinction, and the western black rhino was declared extinct in 2011. It's sad but I think we are going to hear this kind of question more often sooner than we might like.
I have no idea how accurate that is. Polar bears and Grizzlies are encountering a lot of troubles, but I don't know much about Black Bear numbers and they would be most bears.
Brown and American Black Bears are both considered to be of Least Concern conservation status, and as far as I know have been on a population increase. Polar Bears are considered Vulnerable. There is also the Asian Black Bear which is considered Vulnerable. Most of the highest concern are the Eurasian isolated pockets of subspecies, like the Himalayan and Marsican Brown bears.
Much like a cold day in the middle of a global warming trend, this doesn't disprove the overall damage we're doing to wildlife and delicate ecosystems. But points for two "actually"s in the same sentence!
Yes hello I do know a thing or two about English words. Listen, mansplainers, if adults can see the Earth is going to shit then so can precocious children.
Good point! I made assumptions based on usernames and gender stereotypes. But they might be ladies who needed to go out of their way to correct someone, who knows! Points for that, but points deducted for the "check your privilege" non sequitur. I do not think that means what you think it means.
Haha, as a CIS white male I think I know better than anyone what "check your privilege" means.
In this case, it happens to mean: "I can't believe I'm making a post this close to SJW bullshit; I must make fun of myself while doing so to preserve my precious self-identity."
Nahhhhhh Bears have healthy populations on nearly every continent. Grizzlies were on the endangered list and now they aren't same with pandas. So this question is still stupid but it is cute.
frnky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a completely legit question in the present. I've barely ever seen any of the wild animals they tell you about in early school, as even if they exist in nature, they tend to enhabit areas far away from cities. They are perfectly fictional to me, and I'm 21. I may have seen a hare once and several times a mouse...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wikipedia seems to refer to them in the present tense, but a guy on Yahoo answers said they're a myth created by the Illuminati to keep people out of the woods, so there's no definitive answer.
I don't think so, I think this was just a 5th grade way of asking if they are extinct. Kinda stupid but not even close to stupid enough to be this high in the thread.
I had an inverse reaction when I was a kid and my uncle had the baseball game on the radio. They were talking about the giants in San Francisco. I was like: "Oh shit--I thought giants were make-believe. Who is going to save the people of San Francisco!"
Ha I'm from Washington, not too far from Portland, OR, and bear sightings are really common. My neighbor was killed when she hit one while driving. Unrelated; when I was traveling once someone asked me if "the cowboys and Indians are dangerous". It was a very awkward silence while I tried to figure out if they were kidding or not...
My sister only recently found out that dinosaurs actually existed. She also installed several different anti-virus programs and realized that they might all be viruses after noticing that they were all detecting conflicting amounts of "threats". A few days later she was scared that "blue Google Chrome" (the open-source version of Chrome called Chromium) was a virus. She turned 22 a month ago.
This one is amazing because it implies to me that the student is fully aware that bears were at least real at some point in the past, but they're dubious as to the current reality status of bears.
fun fact, 'bear' is not the actual name given to that animal. the actual name is forgotten. because it was believed that saying that name would cause the animal to appear. so it was just called 'brown' or 'bruin'... and we get bear from that.
My cousin was following behind his friends in a car once, and while they were stopped, they spotted a mother bear and her cubs on the side of the road. His friend in the car in front, got OUT of her car, and started to walk toward them. He got out, and yelled at her to get the fuck back in her car, which she did. Turns out, she had no idea how dangerous they were. First time she ever seen them, and just thought they were cuddly creatures.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly I was in class my sophomore year of high school and a friend of mine who wasn't very bright asked me to go over the story of the pilgrims with her. She was apparently volunteering with preschoolers or something (she wanted to be a teacher) and she just wanted to make sure she covered everything. I get to the part about turkeys and she asks, "Turkeys? Those are real?"
I'm gonna go ahead and vouch for this girl - when you grow up being told about santa, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy, unicorns, leprechauns, frosty the snowman, bigfoot, dragons, centaurs, the loch ness monster... you're just fucking inundated with these awesome fairytale creatures and it's not always immediately obvious that they're not real.
I think sometimes kids find out about most of them and then later they'll be like "Wait... what? Yetis aren't real either? Damn! Okay, are bears even real then!?"
edit:
So I'm gonna put a fat disclaimer here: I'm not so sure anymore that this is as clear of an example of stupidity as it seems to be at first glance. It might be the case that Johnson actually is a 'tremendous deadpan'. It was fun to believe that a member of the House of Representatives could actually be that stupid, but come on, guys. Even the dude who presented 'cold snow' as proof that earth was not actually getting warmer at all didn't think that islands could capsize.
I don't like getting caught pulling off this kind of politics-bashing and neither should anyone of you, especially at times where irrational hatred resulting out of a misunderstanding of traditional politics that is fueled by politics-bashing made an actual sociopath president.
Just saying: Be fair to people, be fair to politicians, especially if the only thing at your hands is 5 sentences from a hearing's recordings on YouTube.
I'm afraid all of our ducks have come to roost and the perpetual deadpan, sarcastic millennial's buffoonery is being co-opted by actual imbecile politicians.
Just wait until politicians are dabbing in the middle of a Senate confirmation hearing for President Kanye West's pick for Secretary of State in an effort to seem "cool".
mygawd ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:46:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His point was that it's a small island so too many people could cause problems, so I can see how he might have been attempting to prove a point and it just came off like he was serious because of his manner of speech. It's not uncommon for congressmen to use hyperbolic ridiculous examples to get their point across
merlac ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:53:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it just seems to me that this joke would have been able to function just without the lengthy inquiry into the island's form factor. not that I'm ignorant of the popular technique of using ridiculous examples to prove a point when it comes to legislative/executive action, but his 'delivery' made it look pretty much like he's actually sincere about this
dk21291 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:04:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, struggling for words when asking about the islands width, and generally not seeming like he had a cohesive thought process made him seem like a moron. Really makes you believe he was just an idiot. I mean if it was all in his plan it was an excellent setup and I guess he did it well. Just seems like poor comedic timing if you're really trying to get an actual point across.
He was/(is?) battling Hepatitis-C. He can form thoughts just fine but struggles to put them into words. Sort of makes it difficult to use any kind of simile or metaphor without being taken too literally.
dk21291 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:16:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't know that about him or hepatitis. Makes sense in that case.
He was/(is?) battling Hepatitis-C. He can form thoughts just fine but struggles to put them into words. Sort of makes it difficult to use any kind of simile or metaphor without being taken too literally.
It's not, but it's the standard that the poster above me was using. It's also possible for very intelligent people to believe absolutely moronic things outside of their area of expertise, so I don't think "he's smart" is really evidence for him having been joking.
As a tremendous deadpan who frequently uses facetious metaphors, I've still never had anyone think I was serious when I said something that absurd. People can usually tell when other people are joking. Sorry, Johnson.
mygawd ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:42:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not true in my experience. If you say something in a serious manner it's surprising what people will believe, or at least think you're being serious about
And some people can't hear sarcasm at all. I can't count how many times I've said something clearly absurd (and with sarcastic tone) to my boyfriend only to have him look at me with confused puppy eyes and ask "wait, really?"
RainaDPP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Haha! Fooled you! I was only pretending to be retarded!"
We had a kid ask about putting a canal through the Florida peninsula one time and another kid interrupted (100% serious and with a sense of superiority) "Then Florida will float away... That's why we can't do that."
But, islands can tip over given the correct circumstances. Maybe not flip so the bottom is the top, but if an island is situated on the very edge of a tectonic plate, there is a slight chance that it could crack off and fall into the mantle, again given the correct circumstances. For example, the Puerto Rico Trench causes severe weather anomolies in the region, subjecting Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and Hispaniola to earthquakes, submarine landslides, submarine volcanic eruptions, subaerial pyroclastic flows into the ocean, and major tsunamis called teletsunamis, putting those islands at great risk of sinking or even falling off the plate into the trench. It's a geologically fascinating area, but highly dangerous for the 4 million citizens that live out there.
He umm isn't even umm that good of a deadpan. Umm He stutters over umm every word until he umm gets to that line, then he asks question. It sounded like he had planned to say that and everything else was just clumsily getting to that line. His pitch also changes slightly after he says it, like he is trying not to laugh. I am high af though, so what do i know.
at times where irrational hatred resulting out a misunderstanding of traditional politics that is fueled by politics-bashing made an actual sociopath president.
I'd say that hatred is more than rational when traditional politicians have been sociopaths who continually lie to the people while robbing them of their futures both physically and financially. There is very little evidence that our current POTUS is a sociopath. There is plenty that our previous 4 have been.
What's worse? If he were serious and really that stupid or if he has no problem wasting time asking that question?
DrenDran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
don't like getting caught pulling off this kind of politics-bashing and neither should anyone of you, especially at times where irrational hatred resulting out of a misunderstanding of traditional politics that is fueled by politics-bashing made an actual sociopath president.
How is declaring a man nearly half of voters voted for a sociopath without evidence not bashing someone?
merlac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well i think there's enough evidence already. it's not that that dude came out of nowhere, yknow.
plus the amount of votes you get doesn't miraculously validate/legitimize all you've done to people.
Josent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And people say we're in a post-racial society. No shit, the guy was fucking around. If he was white, nobody would have seriously believed that he was for real.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
L05tm4n ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you sound surprised over the overall ineptitude of politicians.
oh sweet summer child.
merlac ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:08:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i didn't think that whenever someone states an "overall ineptitude" in politics, it's about lack of elementary level knowledge.
but maybe, I'm the one who got it wrong all these years. call me Hank
edit: just stating that I'm not downvoting lo5tm4n. one must not miss an opportunity to a 'sweet summer child' line.
[deleted] ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 17:26:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comments on Guam tipping over[edit]
During a House Armed Services Committee hearing on March 25, 2010[28] concerning the U.S. military installation on the island of Guam, Johnson said to Admiral Robert F. Willard, Commander of U.S. Pacific Command, "My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize", to which Admiral Willard replied, "We don't anticipate that."[29][30] Johnson's office later backtracked by saying Johnson is simply a tremendous deadpan and that he was using a facetious metaphor.[31]
The U.S. military had proposed building a new aircraft carrier berth on Guam and moving 8,600 Marines, and 9,000 of their dependents from Okinawa, Japan. Including the required construction workers, this buildup would increase Guam's population by 79,000, or 45%, and the total land the military might control or tenant could grow to or surpass 40% of the entire landmass of Guam. In a February 2010 letter, the United States Environmental Protection Agency sharply criticized these plans because of a water shortfall, sewage problems and the impact on coral reefs.[32] By 2012, these plans had been cut to only have a maximum of 4,800 Marines stationed on the island, two thirds of which would be there on a rotational basis without their dependents.[33]
It was a deadpan joke about the environmental impact of moving troops to the island. The congressman doesn't literally believe the island would capsize. The congressman is well known as a quote "tremendous deadpan."
Will anyone accept your interpretation? I don't anticipate that.
_myst ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:16:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, farther down that same article it was stated that Johnson had been battling Hep C for decades, which apparently results in slurred speech and becoming lost in thought. Not sure if you'd cal it a reasonable justification but it may explain the pants-on-head-level retardation.
The video provides plenty of context, and it certainly doesn't come off as a joke of any kind.
pmartian ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how a deadpan joke works.
Darkemery ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 16:42:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has Hep C, which contributes to slow speech and getting lost in thought apparently. Probably still shouldn't be in Congress, but it adds some context.
Sounds like he was just making a joke. The overall context for the discussion seems to be about population on Guam. If he actually feared the island capsizing he would have probably asked some follow up questions about the preventative measures they're taking to insure that isn't going to happen. Instead he asks about the environmental impact of relocating a bunch of soldiers to guam.
I use deadpan humor quite frequently so I can relate to this.
Annon91 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:36:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isnt the point of deadpan humor to at some point to break the deadpan and start laughing. Otherwise people will just think you are retarded
Right but you're not a Congressman are you? Where it might be prudent to at some point during your "shtick" indicate that you're not retarded. Like maybe a Congressional hearing is not the best venue for this?
There is plenty of other examples of him being a complete and utter moron. He wasn't trying to be funny, he's legitimately stupid. Also like you said, even if he was trying to be humorous a congressional hearing where he is wasting everyones time is not the place for it.
DongMy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to be some kind of an idiot to lack the common sense to realize how inappropriate it would be to joke while Congress is session during an inquiry and especially to not make it clear it was a joke.
Some people choose not to work their jobs with a perpetual stick up their ass, even for the most mundane for proceedings. If you want to be serious all the time you do that.
DongMy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:35:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who said anything about being "serious all the time", there is a time and place to joke around and that is a good example of not a good time and place. Either way the guy is an idiot and it is almost a certainty he was being completely serious since Congressman Hank Johnson is infamous for saying stupid things. If you want to make excuses for people who either lack common sense or are just complete idiots that is up to you.
Sadly enough I've worked with people that dumb. So unfortunately these people do exist.
DongMy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:54:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why some people feel the need to make excuses for others behaviour when it is abundantly clear the man is an idiot. These people must either be very young or live in a pillow case since if you get out in the world you will witness the stupidity of some of the general public and it will astounded you that our society runs as well as it does.
I'm certainly witnessing some stupidity in this comment chain. Your willingness to believe that Hank Johnson actually believes that Guam could be capsized is astounding me that you type as well as you do.
DongMy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has a record for saying stupid things, this is hardly a one off. He is known as one of the stupidest people in Congress. Do you own stock in the man or is making excuses for him just a hobby for you?...
Edit: Never mind, I just noticed your user name "BoughtAndPaid4". So is Hillary or Soros ever going run out of money paying for you guys to defend all Democrats no matter how incompetent?
If you actually believe that a sitting US congressman believes that the island of Guam could be capsized by the addition of an army base then you are stupider than you think Johnson is.
Just think about which scenario is more plausible to you. That the 4th Congressional District of Georgia elected someone who doesn't have the slightest understanding of geography or physics or common sense. Or, that the man was simply making a deadpan joke as he is wont to do.
I know you are a partisan hack who thinks Obama was the worst president of all time and buys into Trump's conspiracies about voter fraud and paid protesters and whatever other nonsense you all cook up but just honestly ask yourself which of those two scenarios is more likely.
I'm wasting my time though aren't I? Just go shoot up a pizza parlor ya nut job.
Pretty successful if you ask me. One of the hallmarks of it is that many people miss that it was even a joke, and he nailed that apparently.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hypothetically speaking: Could an island, provided it were relatively small, if it had volcanic activity and were located directly on a fault line? Say a big sinkhole opened up and swallowed it. Could that happen?
you could see him smiling trying to keep it together after tipping over.
Qtea831 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy cake day!
D-TOX_88 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:48:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnson's voice sounds exactly like one of the guys from Bad Lip Reading and I kept going back to "oh but this isn't real this is just absurd antics with lips."
I just want to say that I had never seen or heard about this before and I am forever grateful to you for bringing this video into my life. ๐
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:28:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. My. God.
AP246 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:56:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. There's a clip of a UKIP member of European Parliament talking about how it's stupid to decarbonise Europe since trees need carbon. Didn't think anything could be worse.
For once I was hoping that this would me some meme or Rick roll. But no a member of Congress had to be this stupid
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:40:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lord almighty the comment section is a mess
kjacka19 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it is YouTube.
wvhooker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In December 2009, Johnson revealed that he had been battling Hepatitis C (HCV) for over a decade, which resulted in slow speech and a tendency to regularly get "lost in thought in the middle of a discussion".[46] Johnson said that he learned he had the disease in 1998 but did not know how he contracted it. HCV-induced liver dysfunction often leads to hepatic encephalopathy, a cause of confusion. Symptoms are often reversible with treatment.[47] The disease damaged his liver and led to thyroid problems.[46] He was treated with a combination of ribavirin and interferon at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.[46] In February 2010, Johnson successfully completed an experimental treatment for Hepatitis C, which resulted in restored mental acuity, weight gain and increased energy.[48]
snbrd512 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How in the fuck did that other guy not start laughing at him??
t4bbris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Navy Officer: "????????????????????????????"
sebassi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my home town we've had islands tip over. They are really narrow and long and the waves erode them till they're only a few meters wide with a single row of trees. With a storm to whole island will fall over.
How about the guy that thought wind farms would use up all our wind because "wind is a finite resource and harnessing it would slow the winds down, which would cause the temperature to go up."
Ill let you guess which party he represented and which part of the country he was from. (Hint: its exactly the party you would think, and exactly where you would think he was from)
bikebum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna say stuff like this to my daughter, teach her to be skeptical.
My god. Under 3 minutes long, I still could not watch the entire thing. Afraid Guam will capsize. To his credit, I guess DJT did get elected POTUS, anything is possible.
If I recall, he was discussing Guam. I was stationed there with a construction unit that operated one of the two rock quarries on the island. The two quarries couldn't blast within two days of each other because the island is basically a coral spire; the underwater structure is very steep and very tall. With the high, dead, coral composition, it was feared that blasting on both sides of the island at the same time would fracture the coral structure and lead to island breaking apart.
codyt321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give this guy a break. He almost immediately follows up saying it was a bad way of asking about the environmental effects of adding so many people to the island.
After buying her first house while we were dating, I came over to help my now-wife move and since she didn't have any kitchen shit, we ordered pizza. The next day she went to reheat pizza in the microwave and put it inside and asked, "okay now what do I do?"
She also drove up to an automated car wash and when the machine in an obviously robotic voice said "hello and welcome to the touch - free car wash" she said hello back and genuinely meant it.
Lmao I hope these memories are Alzheimer's exempt because I never let her live them down.
He's asking if islands float and you expect him to know what a 'seamount' is? I could only deduce you mean sea mountain, which he also probably doesn't know about. So, I'm guessing you're either from some harbor community that mentions sea mountains enough to come up with an abbreviation or you're doing it on purpose because you want to make yourself feel smart.
Uhh...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seamount
That's just what they are called.
And yeah, I maybe wrongly assumed that the word's definition was fairly easy to determine.
When I talk to people my purpose is usually to communicate. Although, it might have been something I've learned over the years. So, if someone is asking me if islands float I'll probably explain that they are mountains on the ocean floor that rise above the surface of the water -- using the most basic words I can find. It doesn't make you dumb. It just makes you a good guy.
scr33ner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well technically plate tectonics is a theory land masses do in fact move...
Korpers ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea....they totally float dude. In the U.K we have an island called Jersey, just off the French coast. It's still part of the Kingdom, because it used to be just off Blackpool in the North. Way back in the day, one of the island anchor guards forgot to reset his anchor and it came loose. Over the course of a few years the island floated south and settled just south west of Les Pieux, where it still resides to this day.
That's why all the signs are English and everyone drives on the left.
I told a buy in my class that the Spartans were pig farmers when I was 13. He believed me enough to put his hand up and tell everyone.
This doesn't sound so bad but not only had we been doing other sorts of similar ancient Greeks, but we had done the topic a year earlier as well. I think there was also a poster about them on the wall.
Came here to say something similar actually. When I was in 8th grade social studies, a girl asked the teacher if islands are connected to the bottom of the ocean by poles, so they don't float away.
overrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean technically if you consider a huge hunk of rock attaching the island to the sea floor an anchor he's technically correct. (the best kind of correct)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of the time I was in like, third grade. I was in mass an the priest was talking about how Jesus walked on water and asked how he did that. Apparently it wasn't because he was wearing plunger shoes...a little bit of my faith died that day.
notethan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a senior in high school ask what would happen if you took a knife and cut the land beneath Hawaii. She wondered if it would just topple over into the ocean.
To be fair, that's a pretty dumb question. If something is not floating, it's not going to float away. "Because they aren't floating in the first place" would've been my answer. Second, plate tectonics, so they do looks like they float over time if you are going by whatever loose definition of floating the question was looking for. I think this kid was just being sarcastic because he thought the question was stupid. I would've done something similar.
Wait, was "how do islands not float away" a written question? Because that is a pretty stupid question as well...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Cuba this month, with adult friends, and one of them said "they can't build a subway here, if you dig down you just hit water" which makes me think he has the idea that islands are just floating. There is no other explanation.
Your friend is most likely correct. The water table is too high
Tantes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he's correct. It's like digging a hole in beach sand- go deep enough and it floods.
JBSLB ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:58:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gullible much haha
[deleted] ยท 2302 points ยท Posted at 14:24:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an assignment for biology where you'd flip a coin to see what traits your baby dragon would have to teach mendellian genetics. One of my students raised her hand and asked, "Wait, so dragons are real?"
We did a similar thing, but were partnered up and had to write down the traits our "baby" would have according to our own actual traits such as eye color, widow's peak, et cetera. Then we had to draw the baby. I was really into anime at the time so my baby looked really fucking scary in hindsight
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:50 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did that once, but he ran out of traits to have us do and so everything was realistic, like yours, except we had to write down eye shape. Not like, monolids, almond shaped, etc, but some peoples babies had square or triangle eyes. I got a baby with star-shaped eyes. I was also a huge art nerd at the time, so everything was photorealistic in an attempt to show off... including these big, bulging, tearing star-shaped eyes. It was horrifying.
Yes, dragons are real, and you can influence their genetics with coin tosses. That's why most dragons are invisible, 'cause Merlin called "heads." And most dragons just look like lizards, 'cause Noah called "tails."
Yeah, I'm still not really sure where dragons come into all this...
*Edit: just went back and reread OP. Had missed the part about figuring out which traits your baby DRAGON would have... thought the activity was just to figure out which traits your BABY (human) would have...
My mother's best friend and her husband were at our house and we were watching a movie about dragons. She asked how dragons breathed fire. Her husband told her they're born with steel on the roof of their mouths and they pick up a piece of flint that they hold with their tongue. They burp methane instead of farting it out and strike the flint against the steel as they're burping it out. She accepted this answer as fact.
Legit thought dragons were real until my 20's. Assumed they just lived in another country that I had not visited (I'm in Australia). Only occurred to me after I asked why I had never seen one in a zoo. I had a super sheltered childhood and literally had not been exposed to which animals were real and which were mythical haha!
I am anxious to learn what the reactions in Philosophy class will be when he asks why God is a Goat that changes types with plates and why Descartes had such a boner for goats.
Specifically, it's a Kirin, which are deer/dragon/goat/etc. godly creatures, and depending on the mythology are either the highest ranking mythical beast or just behind dragons. Suicune is also partly based on a Kirin
As for Arceus yeah. It's a bit hard to see at times, but there us a head crest in the hair (plus some depictions have manes that flow upwards, which matches Arceus' hair). Often have equin bodies, and are often gold in colour (Arceus' shiny is gold/yellow), and due to their high position are pets of gods (So an easy translation to directly being a god for Pokemon)
Checking on it though, was slightly wrong - Looks like in at least one mythology, they are third highest, only behind dragons and phoenixes. Which funnily, works well with Pokemon - We had Ho-oh, a phoenix, then next gen Rayquaza, a dragon, then after that a kirin
Keldeo is based on the myth of the Kelpie actually! A water spirit of Scottish folklore, typically taking the form of a horse, reputed to delight in the drowning of travelers.
samfi ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:12:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
could be a case of adults tricking a 6yo to be funny and the kid never questioning the information that otherwise had no relevance in their life. until they blurt it out as a 16yo, possibly thinking "wtf" as they are saying the words
Exactly. By 16 you should be able to deduce that mud isn't really something that living things are made out of. Maybe the BP oil spill makes him think there are mud-birds out there too.
I mean, honestly, I could totally see this coming from a very sheltered, fundamentalist type family upbringing. I mean, if you literally believe humans were made out of clay with God's breath making them "alive", it isn't that long of a stretch to think an animal is made from mud.
Liadov ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:08:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The scary part is, the 6 year olds usually have some pretty straight forward logic behind this kind of thing that you can understand coming from someone with very world knowledge. "Rhino's are a dark colour, with a rough, mottled texture. They live in the wild, where there is mud. Mud is a dark colour, and is a rough, mottled texture. Therefore, Rhinos are potentially made of the mud in their environment."
Whereas the 16 year olds logic was probably "I dunno I just thought they were."
ITT: Teachers who can't figure out when someone is fucking with them
Elite_AI ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like coming down one way or the other with this.
Like, there are things which can sound like someone fucking with you online but if you're there are very clearly completely serious. On the other hand, it is easy to accidentally take a joke seriously.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:36:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, no, all animals. At least according to a plain reading of Genesis. I mean, not mud precisely, but the ground.
And God said, โLet the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.โ And it was so.
Genesis 1:24 NIV
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:44:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mud or water. Depends on which ayah from the Qur'an or which verse in the Bible you read.
rz1992 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:00:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did he think they were made out of mud?.. Surely you were curious and asked and can let us know.
Jruff ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 17:22:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This wasn't the kind of student that could thoughtfully explain their train of thought. I was talking about how you couldn't distinguish animal size based on cell size. I asked the question, "Would the cells of a rhinoceros be larger than the cells of a mouse?" He replied with "Wait, aren't rhinos made out of mud?"
I probed, but all he could elaborate on was "I just thought they were made of mud." To avoid further humiliation for him, I dropped it.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:33:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A part of me hoped he meant to ask if their horns were made of mud, but you killed my optimism
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he saw a lot of photos when they are covered in mud and just thought that. Also because he is stupid.
Novah11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd bet anything he was half-watching a documentary about white rhinos and black rhinos, and they were talking about how those names come from the color of the mud the rhinos roll in. (They are actually both the same shade of gray, the mud makes them look darker/lighter).
InFearn0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That wasn't a crocodile. That wasn't a crocodile at all.
Pohatu_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's basically a bulldozer dinosaur that lives in the mud, but its actions and methods of hunting are similar to a crocodile's. People often compare it to a puppy too because of how it rolls in the mud and shakes it off.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:22:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And God said, โLet the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.โ And it was so.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but Narnia specifically has them rising up from the mud in a very vivid fashion.
I dunno man. I'm just trying to understand it. People are weird.
Civil engineer here. Rhinozation is a big danger during floods. As soon as you've got two tons or more of mud sitting out there in the sun you'll be seeing rhinos pretty soon.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I thought my student's question of "Can monkeys talk?" was bad, but this one takes the cake.
D3qTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can turtles breath air
capilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're made out of meat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the laugh! I almost choked on sparkling water, but it was worth reading this!
jshfost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school bio teacher here as well. During the cells and life processes unit a few years ago a student asked, and then proceeded to argue, insisting a rock was a living thing. Even went as far to give evidence that if you break a rock with a hammer it makes two smaller "offspring" that are made up of the same things as the parent.
To be fair they do look like they have gray mud caked onto them constantly
nervelli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at the zoo looking at the rhinos and a religious school group came up. I don't remember exactly what their teacher was telling them, but it had to do with God and unicorns.
I've had so many questions like this asked to me. I try my hardest not to shut the kid down, if they're asking, they're interested. I try not to let my surprise show, and I almost always (sometimes you can't) take the time to give a good answer and show pictures. It really helps improve student participation (I'm sure you know this).
Still, it's really hard to not be shocked by the staggering ignorance.
Typhill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my freshman year of high school. A fellow student asked "wait so Mr____ if I plant a pumpkin seed... will like an actual pumpkin grow"
If I could maybe clarify: If he was religious then there is a tale out there about how humans were made from the mud (God sculpted them). He may just be curious as to why Rhinos aren't. Still dumb but now theres context
kuman30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In sixth grade in Catholic school a classmate asked in sex ed if black guys had black semen. That was awkward.
Encore- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher here, but a student in 8th grade asked a pretty similar question to our teacher: "Wait, fish are not made from rubber?".
I did a study abroad program which allowed us to do some of the new student things at the foreign university despite being almost ready to graduate. we went with a bunch of freshmen to a "safari park" and the student leader (an english major) tried in vain to describe some animals. A few of the biology majors (as they called themselves) were happy to help out and let everybody know those things were wildebeest. The other american and I looked at each other and giggled because they were bison.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told a teacher with the utmost confidence, that a Horse that mated with a donkey made a honkey.
Mr_JK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There might be a reason he might think that. A lot of religions say humans were made from clay and assuming humans are made from clay opens the idea that animals maybe as well. If he was especially religious he might believe that.
In biology class years ago we were talking about the characteristics of life and what things does all life need to exist. We got the obvious ones out quick. Water, temperature and energy source. Some of the answers were too specific but my man Sam out of nowhere said bees and burst out laughing at him. I started a copybook of his best stuff and I need to go look for it but another time when explaining his enzymes work my teacher used a scissors and paper and said in the same way that a scissors can cut paper but not put it back together you need different enzymes to break and build proteins. Well my main man Sam was having none of this and said why don't you put glue on the scissors. The teacher could literally only say no Sam with a smirk. Probably told his wife when he got home.
First day of my freshman year of high school, first period was Biology. We spent that class discussing what is and isn't alive. Because apparently someone in years previous to that had thought rocks were alive. So now the teacher made a point to cover it on the first day.
Although an ex of mine who was shooting heroin confidently assured me (I knew better, though) that heroin withdrawal could kill him. Therefore he could not just stop. Now I understood that he would want to die or feel like he was dying if he tried to stop cold turkey, but I knew better. Of course he insisted that withdrawal was deadly and any of the many drug treatment programs available to him didn't take the deadly withdrawal factor into account...like I'm not a doctor or anything but I don't think I look that fucking dumb. That's why it's a drug treatment program.
Laeno ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:50:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No seizures from opiates withdrawal. The other piste is correct. Just wanted to add that on.
It's possible just extremely rare. Probably has to do with genetics and pre existing conditions. As stated, bentos and alcohol most definitely cause seizures, I've seen that shit and bentos are not worth nearly crashing your car because you couldn't find any that day.
Laeno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not from pure opiate withdrawal. Sure, if someone is an epileptic, the withdrawal is likely to cause an increase in seizures due to metabolic issues (and not being able to take anti-epileptics), but if you see seizures in opiate withdrawal, probably something more going on. Of course, street drugs aren't exactly regulated for purity, so when we say pure opiate withdrawal...
Fair, dope could be cut with anything. I'm wondering if they can happen from something like extreme dehydration or extremely high temperature. But yeah I see now it's not considered a symptom, thanks man, was going on pure anecdotal experience.
Warpato ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes you can.
Laeno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, pure opiate withdrawal does not cause seizures. If someone suffers from epilepsy, opiate withdrawal could potentially cause an increase in seizures due to a multifactorial effect. And opiate withdrawal on top of alcohol/benzo withdrawal certainly isn't protective of seizures, but opiates themselves do not cause seizures in withdrawal.
some cough syrups contain codeine... not all by any means. and some people will abuse cough syrup that does not contain codeine because it contains something that will cause hallucinations in high doses. codeine is actually a very low strength opiate painkiller, in the same family a heroin morphine and all that nasty stuff.
I agree and I appreciate it. I see a lotta young kids getting fucked up on lean not realizing how addictive it is. For the record I threw you an upvote
The cough syrup is just codeine, promethazine, and sugar/flavoring. There is nothing else in it, it's meant to drink.
Take 2-4 fluid ounces of the syrup, pour it in a cup with lots of ice, throw a few jolly ranchers in there, pour in some sprite remix, and you got some lean.
It's super expensive, but when I want to splurge, it's worth it.
I guess I don't see what the difference between codeine pills and codeine syrup is in this case. Most codeine pills are cut with acetaminophen, which I try to avoid. Codeine syrup is more pure and easier on your liver.
I've always wondered if there are just rap doctors out there giving the stuff away. It's a hell of a lot easier to get pills than liquid codeine. Have never even come across it besides people who had a prescription.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:22:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AFAIK, neither Doctor Dre or Funk Doctor Spock have recommended this product
People who have prescriptions are the ones that sell it/ give it away. Source: friend has prescription๐
But as far as rap doctors go, I would think rappers would just have another way to get it.
norathar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you are not a pharmacist. Seen many (usually fake) scripts for ridiculous amounts. No real doctor is going to write for a pint of cough syrup with 5 refills...particularly not a nephrologist. Yet people try.
That's what I mean. It seems to rarely get prescribed, so who the hell is writing enough scripts to fuel these addictions and what pharmacist is going along with it? Maybe it gets stolen.
norathar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:07 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to be buried, but I figured I'd reply because I can answer some of this.
In practice, I think the pharmacists who fill it are either small independents who fill sketchy stuff to stay afloat/someone who's under pressure to increase volume to the point of losing their professional ethics, or someone who's outright partnered with the sketchy docs.
As for docs who write it, about half the stuff I see is outright fake and the other half is bad docs who will write anything for cash. Some fakes are virtually indistinguishable from real prescriptions, and with a reasonable quantity billing through insurance you could get fooled once or twice...but some are laughable and those are only going to be filled by someone who has lost all sense of professionalism.
As for what kind of doctor writes that...bad docs are usually either pay-to-play - "give me $250 and I give you 1 month of anything you want" - or they're giving out drugs in exchange for being able to bill their patient's Medicare/Medicaid for lots and lots of unnecessary tests that they may or may not perform. Government is a lot faster to shut down the latter than the former, but it still takes a couple years, and some of those docs are foreign-born and figure they can get a couple million dollars in a few years, offshore it, and flee the country before the DEA catches up.
Even without corruption, someone manufacturing their own prescription pads, writing good-looking forgeries for reasonable quantities, using a large number of "patients" to obtain the medication from dozens of locations, would be sufficient to get a ton of this stuff into circulation. It's definitely entering the system more through bad prescriptions (both fakes and ones written by doctors that aren't for any legit medical purpose) than by being stolen from the wholesalers/pharmacies...controlled substance shipments are closely tracked and if a bottle goes missing it's definitely a Big Deal, and while robberies happen they're a lot higher-risk for criminals than passing fakes.
As a final, random-ish note: I think that the cough syrup prescriptions are more likely to be outright fakes, while the bad docs are more likely to be writing narcotics and benzos. I don't know why. I'd guess that the street value on the other stuff might be higher, making it worth it to pay those doctors in the first place, but I don't know what any of this goes for on the street. I need Reddit to host an AMA with the people who do this from the illegal side to answer my questions.
Do yourself a favor and stay away from any opiate. You do not want to mess with the hell that lurks behind that high. Stick with herb. It can become an issue as well. But it's way easier to put down if you recognize it's a problem for you.
if you've stayed away from them so far, I would suggest continuing to do so. In the event you do decide to experiment, research, know what you are getting into, and make sure you trust who you are getting it from.
Something is getting you high. But it's for sure not any opiate. You could smoke it off a foil. But applying flame directly to it is going to destroy the compound you want to get into your blood.
Source: was very heavy opiate addict for many years. 4.5 years clean and feeling great.
Thank you, I am actually very optimistic, I don't really have any desire to go back to where I was and have even turned down opportunities to score without hesitation. I still have to stop smoking so frequently though.
That can be a hard one. I had to put everything down at once. Smoking puts me in situations where picking up opiates again looks appealing. And I can't risk that. I have too much to lose now. and when I first got clean I had a bunch of prison time hanging over my head so I had to quit everything. But everybody's road is different.
True, but that's why it's promethazine and cough syrup. You might not get the codeine effects from smoking but you still get the promethazine effects of drowsiness mixed with what every other substance you're using.
My stepmom is Australian and taught Aboriginal students in the outback (technically Alice Springs). After she met and married my dad, they decided to move to America for a few year. When she told her students she was leaving, they asked her if she was going to Compton and was going to see various rappers. They were pretty disappointed to learn she was going to Montana of all places.
This exactly. If you like skiing, Bozeman is the place for you. If you like not skiing, you're gonna be depressed and hate yourself and wish you were never born.
Sounds like you guys picked the shitty places to live in MT....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mcon87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I live in Missoula and everyone always goes on about all the great outdoor activities, like skiing and hiking and hunting and mountain biking...
I feel the same exact way. I just want to watch baseball and play some rocket league but of course by the time basesball rolls around I'll have the switch :]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair you cant blame them. After 9/11 all my family called to check on us and they were scared af. I live in LA. What country if you don't mind me asking.
I translated some of a Lil Wayne song for some of my Senegalese friends and the first question one of them had was "Does his mom know what he's saying?"
When I read this, I assumed West African Class is a class of students in Africa. But then I realized it could also be about a class of students in America where the topic of the class is West Africa.
After a lengthy explanation of the effects of volcanic eruptions on human communities, I had a grade 6 student ask me why on earth people even make volcanic eruptions.
[deleted] ยท 8669 points ยท Posted at 15:00:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tourism. It's the best move the Hawaiians and Icelanders have ever made
ptgkbgte ยท 2226 points ยท Posted at 15:40:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You joke, but I know a bunch of Hawaiians who want the volcano to explode, so that it drives away the tourists and brings the housing prices down. I keep telling them, "There is no way in the world I want to be Vesuvius." Not to mention the volcano is on the other side of the island.
diMario ยท 3593 points ยท Posted at 16:27:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bert: "Ernie, why do you keep exploding the volcanoes in Hawaii"?
Ernie: "It scares away the crocodiles, Bert"
Bert: "But Ernie, there are no crocodiles in Hawaii."
Ernie: "That's because of all the exploding volcanoes, Bert. You're welcome."
I wonder what would happen if someone introduced crocodiles to Hawaii. They live in similar climates
diMario ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:25:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing the Hawaiians, they would quickly add them to their cuisine. But anyway, crocodiles in Hawaii is not going to happen (the exploding volcanoes would scare them away).
A Vesuvius like explosion just cant happen in hawai. The lava has 2 completly different texture. The way hawaiian volcanoes/lava are made they just cant build up pressure
ptgkbgte ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:39:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what would have to occur to create a price drop though.
Kyle700 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any eruption from mauna loa would cause a price drop on the Kona side
Cypraea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:13 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time they start running, bubblegum pop music plays. This only annoys Shaggy, who has that new Frank Ocean album he wants to hear.
Dragonai ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thought would never have crossed my mind, but now that you've said it, I can't think of a single better way to describe it. Well done!
Kyle700 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:44:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Volcaneos in Hawaii don't explore, they are shield Volcaneos, the lava is extremely slow. It can get somewhat fast but you still have like 12-24 hours at its fastest to leave (depending on where you are from the vent)
If it's slow you have weeks. It actually happened 2 years ago in Pahoa. Lava was slowly creeping towards the town and stopped just before hitting it.
Source: live in lava zone 1 on the big island in between old lava flows
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are people trying to rebuild in Kalapana?
diagoro1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:27:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two thousand years of silent bliss, but than the tourists flood back in....
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:45:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't tourism a big part of their income though? It seems wanting them to go away would tank the economy there.
SoMeCaPs ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're assuming that the native hawaiians have a big stake in Hawaii's tourism industry. They don't, they're the poorest ethnic group in hawaii with the largest population living in poverty. I'm sure they don't want to economy to tank and I'm sure many do have jobs in the tourism industry, but as a loose analogy this would be like saying the Seminole tribe in Florida is overly concerned about the tourism industry/overall economy there. I'm sure they do a little, but I'm also sure some would just be happy to have the land they view as stolen back.
Tourists still need to eat; they still need to pay to enter certain parks. They go to the stores and purchase trinkets. While there is a lot of money leaving Hawaii, to say none of it benefits the locals I think is equally unfounded. These hotels, businesses also require locals to fill their positions, thereby creating jobs as well. Increased money likely comes not just from private avenues, but via the state government as well as a result. I'm not one to advocate trickle-down economics and I get the side-effects, but I just wanted to note Hawaii wouldn't suddenly be "perfect" if all tourists left. Most locals would be forced to leave as well.
SoMeCaPs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:24:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am differentiating locals from the natives. Almost all locals are not native hawaiian and the native hawaiians are often not the people you see working at the resorts and such. But I agree it wouldn't be perfect, just that many native hawaiians are advocating for it currently.
Yeah that's understandable, but how realistic is it? Are they advocating to become a Native American reservation? They have to come to terms to some degree with the fact that they are part of the Union. Nevertheless I can understand their frustration.
SoMeCaPs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, they need to deal with the fact that Hawaii is and will continue being a State. A lot of these people are very hard to deal with in Hawaii. You'll see them flying the state flag upside down and picking fights with locals who are not native. Most what full sovereignty and/or some compensation from the US government. I hate to stereotype such a large movement but if you ever visit Hawaii and see a group of these people I would not even talk to them. Some of the groups are slightly aggressive with very frustrated supporters.
We do not want a reservation! Good God, no. We are not native Americans, though reservations don't seem to be helping them much, either. Culture, politics, and even language is very different here than the rest of the united States.
Well you're native aborigines in the same sense the various tribes are on the continental U.S. the cultures of the Cherokee to the Navaho are themselves very different, too. I just mean to say if independence is what you're after, then that's what they sought.
We just see how things are going for them, the conditions on a lot of reservations are horrible (I've been to one in Oregon, had a boyfriend who lived there, he was Canadian Indian but lived in the Oregon Siletz res).
There's a lot of abject poverty, lack of basic health care and educational opportunities (res schools are very poorly funded), discrimination, depression, alcoholism, the list goes on. We are doing much better because we haven't been segregated to that extreme in quite a long time. I believe also, a lot of our (and NA's) problems are self imposed. Not the majority, but a lot. We don't speak English, and when most of us do, it's not very good, and reading comprehension is low. The majority of us do go to English speaking schools (that's changing though, Hawaiian immersion programs are very popular and I love that our language is growing), but we have ample opportunities to learn proper English, yet most choose not to and then complain about discrimination based on that. However, Hawaiian was just recently made an official language here. But that isn't helping us get jobs, only learning proper English will do that at this point.
We just want our independence recognised, some land back, our culture and self-governance respected. Many of us have given up our US citizenship or have dual Hawaiian Kingdom and US citizenship (such as myself). We don't want to exclude the rest of our non native population in the process. Sure, extremists want all whites gone, and some royalists are this way as well. That would mean me as well as 90% of Hawaiians though as we're all mixed race! But I digress.
There's never an easy answer, not for us, nor the native Americans, nor any aboriginal peoples.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. There's no way they'd be able to sustain even their native population without considerable interstate commerce in the form of tourism. I can sympathize with the fact that the cost of living is skyrocketed as a result (there was once a time you could buy beach-front property in California and Hawaii as an average middle-class American), but this swings the pendulum in the exact opposite direction.
acidion ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it's okay because the houses would be less expensive, yaknow? /s
They might find it has the opposite effect. Iceland's tourism boom is in part attributed to Eyjafjallajokull's eruption that gave them global advertising. RIP
manachar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Puna is cheap, and much of the land stays that way because no bank will cover a mortgage on it or any houses there. I guess investing in land in a place with active lava flowing just doesn't pencil out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This mentality of some people just backs up the story of the bucket and the crabs. People in California are hoping for an economic downturn so people leave and prices go down. Of course it wouldn't negatively affect them.
People like this don't have the right mindset . Instead of hoping and working to afford housing or even pushing for more pay they rather thousands suffer so they can get temporary low rent.
That'll just bring in a bunch of "adventurous" tourist. You gotta shake em' up a bit. Try robbing and kidnapping. If you want to use the volcano tell the kidnappies that the ๐ is asking for sacrifices. Then release one of them (slightly burned) to spread the word.
As a Hawaii born kama'aina, I find this hilarious. We are repeatedly taught throughout our education that Hawaii's volcanoes cannot and will not explode. They are not made of the right kind of lava that winds up "sticky" enough to act as pressure cooker volcanoes. In the worst case, Mauna Kea will erupt (it's dormant) and will create a massive lava flow that slowly inundates Hilo.
Sam-Gunn ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 14:59:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, eventually due to the isolation of the tribes responsible for preventing such, and the statistical distribution of females that were scarified as virgins, most tribes had to make a decision to continue growing their tribes or to appease the volcano gods by sacrificing said virgins.
Unfortunately, sexual attraction won out to keeping the Volcano Gods appeased, and the volcanos would erupt sooner rather than later."
ELLE3773 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:35:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you happen to work at the r/ShittyAskScience observation laboratory of things and stuff?
Sam-Gunn ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and I'm also prepared to be an uncle someday when/if my sister gets married and has kids.
Better yet, on a cruise around the Hawaiian Islands, a family friend (in her 50's)asked the tour guide if they turn on the lava flow every night for the tourists... (in unison my family took two steps back to distance ourselves)
Postius ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:27:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To kill of the goddamn subterranean crab people offcourse
0-90195 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:12:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A similar experience: a class about how volcanos work (i.e., origin, why they erupt, etc) and a student asks, "How does the lava know how to find its way to the volcano?"
If they are in grade school this is actually a very good question. It's an opportunity to plant the seeds of existential crisis into the next generation.
I bet she was mixing up her info on science fair volcano projects with actual volcanos. Like, maybe she hears lots of people talk about making volcanoes (for science fair projects) and thought they were all talking about actual volcanoes.
Historians estimate it took the work of 1000's of slaves to hollow out the mountain, 1000's more to fill it with many tons of baking soda, and yet 1000's more to pour in the vinegar.
maybe if you started your lesson on how its a natural geologic event that question wouldnt have been asked...ive seen this kind of crap happen before, what the fuck does a 10 year old know about volcanoes unless they live near one?
After a lengthy explanation of the effects of volcanic eruptions on human communities, I had a grade 6 student ask me why on earth people even make volcanic eruptions.
wigg55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couse we fuckt up the atmosphere so fucking bad that our only two options as of this moment are as follows: Big ass bombs, Volcanos. Both of them couse we get a fuckton of dust thrown up to deal with global warming. Its the only thing thats going to have a big enough impact atm. Our options are nukes and setting of volcanos. So yah, its not that dumb.
Biggest surprise when I started teaching was how terrible kids are at geography. Supposed to be taught in middle school but only like 50% can tell the difference between land and water by the time they reach my 9th grade class.
Sorry. I now have an excuse to tell my Hawaiian Step-Dad's story. He is not a religious man nor superstitious but had been brought up with stories about respecting Pele, the volcano goddess. For the most part he shrugged the stories off. Kilauea had been erupting. He and Mom went to Hawaii to see it - and found a church where the ENTIRE surrounding decimated landscape was all cooling lava with the church untouched. There is a photo of it somewhere in the Mom's old photo albums
Im not a teacher but in 8th grade I had a classmate argue that Martin Luther King freed the slaves. When I tried to correct her she flipped out and started screaming, name calling, etc.
I went to elementary school in a Montessori school, taught by some liberal, feminist/progressive nuns who were probably not QUITE church sanctioned. One of them had a very thick Italian accent, and when we were studying European history and the Protestant reformation, her explanation wasn't in perfect English.
Until high school, I thought that Martin Luther's act of protest involved nailing HIMSELF to the cathedral door in imitation of Christ's crucifixion.
Jlpanda ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 21:20:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then parted the Red Sea and led his people to Chicago.
Martin Luther (Christian Reformation) nailed his 95 theses (criticisms of the Catholic church) to a door, Abe Lincoln freed the slaves (kind of), and Martin Luther King was a civil rights leader.
Enect ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:16:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worth mentioning that each of these were at least 100 years apart from one another
Evning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks!
dreakon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What /u/matzorgasm said. I mean, you can be (begrudgingly) forgiven for mixing up Martin Luther and Martin Luther King. Throwing Abraham Lincoln in the mix is just too much.
Evning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha the i guess that would a stretch to link king and lincoln only by their contribution to the african american race.
I'm obsessed with the history of Rastafarian. A carribean religion that worships a dead Ethiopian emperor and encourages marijuana consumption. I'm in.
Pans to Matthew McConaughey touching the Bible, opening the door, and saying a single word - "biblical" - before driving off into a Nevada night, a single page left floating in midair.
Lincoln.
666666t ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:56:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pretty sure that's the wrong martin luther, wrong door, and not the bible.
You joke, but in college we had to do a project on our cultural heritage. One of my classmates was giving a presentation on her German heritage, and in the section on religion and faith said that her family was Lutheran and that Lutheranism was the most common religion in Germany, whose members followed the teachings of Martin Luther King. Not even Martin Luther King Jr.; just Martin Luther King. In college. And her family was Lutheran.
I mean, that also marks the first person I've ever seen to identify as Lutheran rather than Protestant. She might have confused the terms, which would explain her ignorance as to the actual founder of Lutheranism.
You joke but Martin Luther actually wrote his own translation of the Bible into German and also a commentary on the Bible leading to certain books he disliked being turned into the Apocrypha which was eventually taken out of protestant bibles. So, that statement isn't that far off.
Martin Luther started the Protestant Reformation. MLK was a 20th century civil rights leader. Lincoln freed the slaves in 1864 (give or take a year). It was a joke.
gitsgrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he was the 95 theses guy.
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 16:54:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
swissarm ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 17:41:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What I hate is when someone takes what you say, makes assumptions and generalizations and lashes out at you. Ex:
So you don't believe in No Child Left Behind? You think that some kids should get NO attention, that they should just be pushed through school then thrown out in the world even when they can't survive? You're okay with CHILDREN growing up to be homeless and dying on the streets? Fuck you.
Not quite. A slippery slope takes one thing they have said and then continues it to its "logical" conclusion. A slippery slope argument can be valid if the steps to the conclusion are actually logical. A slippery slope fallacy uses false logic in getting to the "logical" conclusion.
A strawman is when you reword the persons argument to a position that is easier to argue against (but isn't actually what they were claiming) and then refute the new position. The hope with strawmaning is that the person won't notice that you have switched the terms of their argument.
In this situation the strawman has been pretty blatant: "you believe in X so you must also think Y, well we all agree Y is wrong so X must be wrong too".
A slippery slope would have the form: "you believe X, but if X then Y would be next and before you know it Z". Which could be a valid or invalid argument depending on how logical the steps X-->Y and Y-->Z were.
Pasglop ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:55:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what was better? I was talking about Corsica on r/europe, and out of the blue, some random dude calls me names and insinuates I am a Breton Nazi.
Ooookay.
swissarm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the tangential associations. You're either identical to me, or your identical to my enemy.
My wife can't stand Donald Trump, but she's a pretty moderate and reasonable person. Her aunt, who is a high school dropout, posted a rant on Facebook (go figure) about a Trump policy that she either fabricated or somebody else fabricated and she just took as fact. My wife pointed out that he's never actually said or implied the thing she was ranting against, and her immediate reply was (paraphrased for anti-doxing, but leaving the condescension and grammar in place) "Oh, honey. Your so clueless. Go back to wineing about emails and worshiping your wall."
My wife (a well read, college educated professional) was very open with her preference for Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump through the entire campaign cycle on the very platform she was now being accused of "wineing" about emails on. But in the mind of this woman, since she wasn't 100% on board with her FWD: FWD: FWD: anti Trump message, she must be 100% on board with Trump, himself. No such thing as 50/50 or even 95/5.
swissarm ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:16:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People think if you defend someone over one little thing people claim they said/did, that you're a supporter of them. No, it means you're a logical human being. The whole "us vs. them" mentality is exactly what's wrong with American politics.
Yeah. This particular woman and one of her daughters have fallen so deeply into this trap that they've been slowly isolated from the rest of the family.
It's such a shame too, because the whole us vs them thing is a false concept constructed by political strategists to further their own careers, and then amplified by a highly augmented communication method called social media. Its origin isn't some noble stand for righteousness that they're taking too far. It's basically an elaborate PR campaign from the 80s and 90s that's caused these people to drive themselves away from their own family.
Esparno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me the other day in a small subreddit.
This guy left an infant in his car to go into a Hot Topic for over 20 minutes, and was arrested.
I replied to someone acting like he was inhuman and basically said "This guy isn't a monster, we're all capable of lapses in judgement. He's still a human being." and people acted like I was defending him or his actions.
From his mugshot he's a 40 year old white dude with dreads. He's clearly a fuck up who fucked up and should be in jail. But he's still human. The potential for good is still there.
You might be interested in the story of Lyn Balfour. There are actually many write-ups of her story and that's just a quick one I pulled up on Google, but it really puts things in perspective.
Nobody wants to think that they could possibly do something like that, but it's literally just a lapse in memory that any human is capable of. Like you, I'm not arguing that there shouldn't be consequences or that these people did everything right. But they are human, and these stories are the absolute worst consequence of the most simple human mistake of forgetfulness.
Edit: I realize the stories are also different in that one person purposely left their child while going into the store, and the other completely forgot their child was in the car. Different situations, but the same point in that as bad as these actions can be, they amount to a simple lapse of judgment or memory that any person can have, and that doesn't make them a monster.
zzzzz94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan haidt's book is all about how people form their beliefs and why they are hesitant to change. I strongly recommend
It's a self serving bias. People read and twist it how they want to support their own argument. They try to make sure the other person is discredited for any "disagreement " even if they totally agree and like you said expands on something the other person feels is untrue.
Confirmation bias. People tend to believe that which supports their own ideals/thoughts/ agenda and presenting them with evidence to the contrary has the opposite effect than expected. Instead of opening their eyes they dig their heels in deeper and claim the facts to be false or misleading and end up shunning those that challenge their beliefs. In the end (as seen in social media) they end up insulating themselves completely from others that do not reaffirm their thoughts.
That's a REALLY extreme jump. NPD is a cluster of behaviours and traits, this specific behaviour can be found quite commonly without NPD being present.
shane201 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:06:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I thought Martin Luther was MLKs father until I seen a picture of him...
The fact that you knew Martin Luther and Martin Luther King were different people moves you to the right side of the curve in the US education system, unfortunately..
NMU906 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister: wasn't MLK friends with Jesus?
shane201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a world religions class, and part of the notes we were taking was about Christianity and the different branches. I see Martin Luther was the father of the Lutheran Church , and my mind automatically associateed him with Martin Luther King Jr. It took me a few months while I was reviewing for the final exam that I realized they were not related.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had something similar happen. And that's when I learned that our tiny, middle-of-nowhere public school had a woman on staff who's sole job was 'race relations'. We had maybe three black kids. As an adult, I wonder if she now spends all her free time on reddit. I can't imagine that she has enough work to keep her busy for 40 hours a week
What would she do all day? My HS was about half black and hispanic, maybe thats what w needed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had the same thing in high school, our school was about 5% black at most. We had a 20-something year old black lady in charge of race relations at a school where a few of the teachers were ex-KKK members and most of the older ones had been hardcore segregationists in the '60s and '70s. Needless to say, they didn't listen to her and she quit my sophomore year.
Sorta related but the first time I learned about Martin Luther I thought it was such a funny coincidence that he and MLK had the same name. I didn't know that people name their kids (or adopt a name) after other people.
When I was ten or eleven I did my speech thingy on Martin Luther King. I'm in Europe and our primary school history curriculum hadn't really covered anything post-WW2 yet. After my introduction, one (protestant) girl was very upset that the teacher wasn't stopping me from making up all kinds of idiotic things, because she had only heard of the 1500s monk!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm named after Jefferson Davis and my son told his third grade classmates that I used to be the President. One of them asked if it was true when I picked my son up from school one day, I just joked that I guess I'd aged well for being 200 years old.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In religious studies we had to make a short presentation on historical figures that have affected Christianity and one classmate got assigned Martin Luther. Of course, not being interested in religion, history, or studying in general, he did the presentation on the first hit on Google, Martin Luther King Jr.
To be fair, several adults are convinced that black people didn't get the right to vote until the civil rights act was passed. People are shocked to learn that black people were voting since the mid 1800s.
I had the teacher once tell me "good guess, but no" when I answered that Atlanta is the capital of Georgia. He turned out to be cool though when he apologized in front of the class the next day. He had got in his head that it was Macon or something...
I knew a girl (16 at the time) who had JFK, MLK and Abraham Lincoln confused for the same person, in that he was a US president who wore a funny hat and was shot in the head for being fond of black people.
mazimaxi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a co-worker who thinks he was the first black president. In the same conversation she confused lincoln with columbus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife teaches at a small, rural Catholic school. One of the other teachers did not know the difference between Martin Luther and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I've been this teacher. I don't think I ever got in a yelling match about it, but I taught for more than ten years and encountered this idea more than once.
What if what she was trying to imply that the African Americans were metaphorical slaves to the institution? Since it was very hard for blacks to vote, move into certain neighborhoods, and get certain jobs they were in a system of living that forced them to work and have no representation, they were basically slave.
Post Script: I know the girl did not mean that.
When I tried to correct her she flipped out and started screaming, name calling, etc.
Future Trump supporter confirmed.
Kingsta8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got into a religious argument with a girl in high school. Teacher noted a few things in the bible which clearly didn't take place. Girl got angry and loud to which I argued that a lot of things in the bible don't even make sense in context with other events in the bible and it only covers such a tiny space of land on Earth. To which she replied
All I know is that Jesus was the first man on Earth
Today a black, very politically conscious 8th grader said to me "eff Abraham Lincoln" when I told him that Lincoln was the first Republican President. He changed his tone when I said that in that time the Republicans were the ones who wanted to end slavery.
panda388 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically he unlocked the mental chains of slavery on black people. That is he made them "woke". Maybe that's what they are thinking? I mean I know it's a reach, but I like to give people a chance.
My wife went to school to be a HS history teacher and when she had her semester of student teaching one of the students asked if china had grass while another who insisted that wind-mills made wind.
I mean if you really want to get technical its true. We just don't have a sufficiently advanced windmill to harvest all the wind. I mean the sun would still unevenly warm the earth but conceptually you could have something that harvested it so fast that by human perception there'd be essentially no wind. But with anything that even resemble a mechanical windmill like we have now, no way. plenty of wind to go around.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
your neighbor wouldn't even think of that counter argument.
I mean if you had no prior knowledge of windmills and just looked at the word itself for a clue, it would seem that a mill for wind would make wind just as other mills make products (paper, pulp, etc)
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marbotty ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:45:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's because most adults are right-handed.
irotsoma ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:15:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The windmill thing is one of those political anti-science, anti-renewable-energy things, so they may have heard it from their conservative relative or something. Somehow it got around that the wind farms were creating wind as a side effect or something silly and people got all upset that they were putting them in places and causing wind related damage to homes and such.
I've heard someone insisting that building windmills in the countryside was stupid because "They already have a lot of wind, they should build them in the city, we could really use a good breeze in the summer."
when I was very little I asked my mom if the Air Conditioners outside my Grandma's apartment made wind. Mom said "yes". thanks Mom.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not only does China have grass, they have the most insane grass on the planet! Bamboo is fucking nuts. An inch a day of growth, one of the toughest types of wood, and it even takes a pretty fantastic edge if you cut it into thirds and sharpen it.
And if the asshole that you buy your house from plants it, you will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever get rid of it. Ever. Not with landscapers or pesticides. You will consider salting and burning the earth, if you thought it might work.
You know...hypothetically.
Cappa_01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well a saw mill takes wood and makes lumber, so a wind must take air and mill it into wind. It's just science
I mean... Technically those aren't that dumb of questions. Seriously. There are entire states (maybe) and giant regions of land without grass, and windmills do make wind. They cut the friction and redisperse the wind in different directions. Also, pretty sure some are mechanical and literally make wind, have an internal turbine which collects power and saves electricity.
Edit: I don't know what a turbine is.
To be fair, the grass question sounds alright. They have different kinds of flora in different parts of the world. Who's to say China doesn't have grass? They might only have hay instead! Or worse, dandelions!
Well, puppy mills make puppies, steel mills make steel, and saw mills make saws, so it seems pretty logical for wind mills to make wind. Cut the kid some slack!
Was she able to find a job as a history teacher after graduation? I'm in school majoring in history, minor in education and from my knowledge it's hella hard to get a history teaching gig
(I could be completely wrong and just need to look in other areas)
Quinocco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always talked about moving to Canada when I was young, maybe 7 or 8 (we live in the U.S.). It sounded so strange and foreign to me, she always talked about how it was snowy and we would be out in the middle of nowhere and not need to put up with anyone. Well I did not like this idea of moving to Canada, I had friends and stuff and things. Eventually I had it all figured out, this Canada place must be like Antarctica if is cold and isolated right? Well somehow I got in my head that Canadian kids didn't go to school, because they lived in tents and worked outside all day. So I ask my mom "Does Canada have school or houses?" My mom just replies "Of course it does, it's not outer space." I was still really confused at that point, not even sure when I realized what Canada was.
That's nice for him or her but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about warning signs of sexual abuse because of the language this child is using.
Way back, in a summer program, I knew a kid we called "Big Blue". I once witnessed what was essentially a sermon of a strange dream he had the night before. He was sharing with about five (younger) others his dream of swimming through a woman's vagina and about how much he just wanted to stay there. But point is, he later told his disciples what the word "dick" meant; he told them that a dick is just another word for one's balls. So at least 4-5 children out there at one point thought "dick" meant balls. So I can understand this occurrence quite easily.
Antinous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the few responses that really made me lol
iynque ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:58:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's called a "bussy" honey.
mousicle ยท 10630 points ยท Posted at 12:52:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This came up all the time when teaching kids how to do their taxes. I must have had this conversation a dozen times.
Student: Sir I don't know what to do at this part
Me: What does the instruction say on that line?
Student: Add box 23 and 24 and write the answer here
Me: So add box 23 and 24?
I to this day have no idea how you teach someone to follow very explicit instructions.
h3lblad3 ยท 7337 points ยท Posted at 13:23:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, they didn't teach taxes to me in school.
mousicle ยท 2705 points ยท Posted at 13:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had three levels of classes, Essentials, Applied and Academic. With Essentials kids doing taxes and personal finance was an entire unit (we never got beyond multiplying fractions with the essentials kids) With the applied and academic kids I'd do "lets not do math Fridays" every second Friday where we'd do something that wasn't the regular lesson but some real life application or just something cool to do with math, I'd do the taxes talk then.
Did your school happen to have enriched classes or is that a rare thing?
Edit: for those who don't know, my Ontario high school has 4 levels of classes: Locally Developed, Applied, Academic and Enriched. Most people took Academic classes. Enriched classes (only available for maths sciences english and french) provided an extra challenge. You could only take AP tests if you were taking the corresponding enriched classes. I took enriched everything from grade 9 to 11 and then dropped everything to academic except english and chemistry because of the stress of the enriched environment (currently grade 12).
Edit 2: Nobody took hard courses once at the Academic/Advanced level in summer school, then retook them the next fall as Enriched. Summer school is basically only used if either you fail or you don't want to take a required class next year (i.e. taking gr. 12 english in summer of gr. 11). Additionally, you can't take Enriched courses in summer school.
mousicle ยท 399 points ยท Posted at 14:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Canadian our school didn't have enriched, only one school in our city does but we would give an enriched credit to kids in the Academic class that did additional enrichment activity.
Jaudark ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:43:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The right question to ask is not is you're Canadian, but from which province are you from?
Because I never had taxes in school. Unless it's part of an education reform after I finished high school.
mousicle ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 14:47:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ontario but it isn't part of the curriculum its just something I did cause I thought it was important. Also it helps the class to do something different once and a while.
Props to you for doing this. I wish I would have had teachers that strayed from the curriculum like that to go over real like scenarios more often.
mousicle ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:25:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of teachers don't think they have time to fit extra in, which is weird cause I always got way ahead of the other sections and my grades and exam results (every section took the same exam) were usually better. Maybe I just want to toot my own horn at being a good teacher toot
Wish I was taught taxation when I was in high school. Graduated and felt like I should stick my thumb up my ass for not knowing shit all about how to do my taxes.
My highschool had two whole courses on real life learning. Taxes, calculating costs of loans, monthly budgeting, what we'd need to do to get a car and how to make a resume.
Guess which classes also had the lowest attendance and nobody tried in :/
Interesting. My Ontario high school had the applied and academic streams but I don't think it had the essentials one. Is that common?
mousicle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:44:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They have them in every highschool in my city. Maybe yoru town is just way too small and they just give the essentials kids alternate work in the applied classes.
Actually I remember my one teacher taught us how to do taxes, it was a way to get a free $100 (even if you had $0 income). Ah, the good old days, now I just owe, or come out relatively even.
gusthave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated high school in 84 (Ontario), took grade 13 math up until grade 11, grade 12 I dropped down to reg. math (I called it stupid math) and learned how to do taxes, all about mortgages, loans etc. It was fantastic. Kinda like learning to change a tire in drivers ed.
Lol right there with you. I was the first year of the new curriculum when I started grade 9. Getting old sucks.
jontss ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:28:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took enriched math in grade 10 which was above advanced. I signed up for enriched grade 11 but not enough people signed up so they cancelled it. After doing great in grade 10 enriched and grade 11 advanced I got to grade 12 finite and calculus and basically almost failed. Probably didn't help that I literally never studied or did homework. Math was just easy before finite and calculus.
figgle1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was me this semester, never did any homework in my first two years of high school so chemistry kicked my ass this semester.
iTRR14 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is me now in college.. never did homework or studied in academic courses for all of high school, now college is kicking my ass.
From the outside that sounds like some sort of extra credit for North Korean kids.
mousicle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canada already has enrichment facilities we are a major exporter of uranium, have a pretty big civilian nuclear power program and were original members of the manhattan project with the brits and US
Also Canadian. Instead of an 'enriched' program, I was sent to do artsy stuff to slow me down enough to be at the same place as everyone else?
NapClub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
enriched classes in my school were mostly just a lot of extra freedom and less structured classes with the teacher there mostly to monitor progress.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember sitting in the hall eating cereal cause I was already done my enriched math
NapClub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
about half my class were a full year ahead or more for math... we'd be done by the end of the first ten minutes of class almost every day, at which point we were allowed to use the computer lab.
good times.
the best part of going to the region's flagship school though was all the funding we got for field trips, every couple weeks a field trip of some sort.
i loved the outdoor education center the most though.
I'm thinking BC because AB has this stupid numbering system that makes no logical sense to my BC brain.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:10:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in Alberta so I know the stupid numbering system. Grades 10, 11, and 12 are called 10, 20, and 30. Then you have the level you are doing -3 is the essentials, -2 is the applied, and -1 is the academic.
Entidus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:00:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
London
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Londoner, I am incredibly curious what your "lower-tier" high school was.
(Not that I know fuckall about London's high schools)
Entidus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL if you can PM me your top three guesses, I will tell you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I don't want to be a creep :v and tbh I can only even name one high school here, I moved here in university and know precisely 0 things about London Youths.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school had applied, college/university, university, and enrichment classes. Made things kind of confusing at times, and must be hard to offer that many different versions of classes.
Moogle02 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school has lots of enriched classes but we also have a gifted program.
I don't think mousicle is from Ontario. Also, a teacher got called "sir" in Canada? Where is this?
Edgevine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Ontario high school used the enriched course codes to mean grade 9 & 10 courses where the enrolled students were intending to take AP courses in later grades, just as a data point for you.
iTRR14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school had this as well. Except the enriched was just doing booklets that provided harder concepts and deeper thinking and understanding. Then in grade 11 and 12 math, we would do problems over lunch or after school as a group. Did enriched for advanced functions, said fuck it for Calc.. really wish I did though..., from a post secondary point of view..
In Manitoba we have similar, but they're called Pre-Calc, Regular math, and Applied math. It was implied that applied math was for the stupid kids, but they also learned the most useful stuff in that class.
I went to high school in BC, and we had Principles (entry req for a lot of universities, most people took this) and Essentials (taxes and measuring shit). Then after I graduated I think they got rid of one and replaced it with Applied? But yeah I failed Principles and had to take Essentials in order to graduate :(
stang90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was never very good at school, so when I got to highschool, my mom put me in locally developed math and English for no other reason than "it's the easiest, why would anyone choose the harder ones?". It was total retard level pardon my french. Worst semester of my life. Math tests involved remotes with a b c d buttons on them. Don't put your kids in that level unless they're developmentally challenged.
I graduated over 20 years ago - interesting to see that the structure is pretty much unchanged. The names are a bit more tactful though. For us it was Basic, General, Advanced, Enriched. AP wasn't an option for us, but we were told that you had to have Enriched credits to apply to university, and Advanced for college. General assumed you were going into an apprenticeship or something, and basic was... well, basic.
Moving between levels was hard too. I remember my parents losing their shit when my Grade 8 teacher recommended me for General classes (I was in the Grade 8 enrichment program, but my teacher hated my guts). They went to the principal, and he overrode the teacher's recommendation and recommended me for Enriched Grade 9. I'm glad, because otherwise you had to take the same course 3 times (had to pass General to get permission to retake Advanced, had to pass Advanced to re-retake the course as Enriched). I never would have caught up.
Do kids still take hard courses once at the Academic/Advanced level in summer school, then retake it the next fall as Enriched? That was pretty common when I was in high school; one summer no one was in the class because they had failed. We were all there to make sure we were going to be able to pass Enriched. You were allowed to do that for everything except your OACs (Grade 13).
Ontario kid here - we had enriched classes (I think ) but that was called enhanced. And it was total bullshit. It was based on some iq test taken on elementary school and you get placed on that stream cause you're "smarter". And if you happened to be in a mixed class teachers would ignore kids not enhanced cause they're not "good enough" even if you had comparable grades. /r
Also from Ontario and every school is different in this regard. We had applied, academic, enriched and gifted. Gifted involves an IQ test. The gifted program included every subject except phys-ed and some of the arts (though there were gifted music classes). If any student couldn't handle the program in a specific subject they'd drop down to enriched.
epwnym ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This must be a more recent development in Ontario secondary schools. I only remember there being two levels, though I could be wrong about that.
Then again, I'm from the O.A.C. era of Ontario post-secondary.
I also graduated with OAC. We had Basic General Advanced and Enriched in my city. But my school only had General and Advanced. You'd have to go to the vocational school for basic or the special enrichment school for enriched.
From Ontario, we had a Gifted program, where we were sent to a different elementary school in grade 5 (skipped a math year, did lots of weird puzzles, had cooler science projects), and then in highschool we had different classes from the regular folk. Later in highschool there was just AP classes (Most Maths and Sciences) for all the smart kids, mostly gifted kids but also others that just excelled throughout highschool
I also dropped all those classes when i reached grade 11. I was an art student anyway and AP Chemistry was just like noooo way man.. i think i stuck with the English though
valryuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it was Enhanced classes, not enriched. And you could only get into them if you were identified as gifted. Also, only specific high schools had them (ones that accomodated the gifted kids).
Yea Nova Scotian and the system described with essentials, applied, and academic is the one I had in my high school.
Cayxcore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd only ever heard of Applied and Academic levels, until I went to one GTA high school where we had the option of a different math class. We did financial stuff like taxes, equity and the like. It was only offered to those in Grade 11.
Canadian. I've tried to go as hardcore in math/science as possible, I've got AP calculus, AP physics, and enriched chemistry because our school for some reason does not offer AP :(. I couldn't bio to save my life XD
Ontario high school student here, my high school doesn't have enriched programs or teach me how to do taxes. I do get like 20 different shop classes though
My pre-calculus professor had the best response to the question "when will we use this in real life?" I don't remember the math, but she gave an exact example with NASA's project SOHO (solar satellites) for thanking the positions of the satellites. She works at Goddard Space Flight Center, so she always had the best examples.
fradetti ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:36:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had three levels of classes, Essentials, Applied and Academic.
So I guess Academic is basically a tax dodging class.
mousicle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well with them I talked more about the ideas behind how taxes work and less on the mechanics of doing them. Whats the difference between a tax credit and a tax deduction and which benefits what kind of people more, how are taxes used to influence behaviour, why we have marginal brackets.
Wow, you deviated from the normal lesson plan in order to teach kids useful and important life skills? I'm becoming more and more impressed with Canada everyday. Please don't build a wall (which we'd probably agree to pay for) to keep US citizens out.
Ok, I was with you until you said it was an essentials class. The only thing essential classes told you was that your parents didn't love you, or you had a learning disability. I'm a moron and I still took all academic classes, so I feel like as a teacher of an essentials class, adding box 24 to box 23 is an abstract enough idea that you should be working on the way you explain things. Not making fun of disadvantaged kids on the internet.
Which part of Canada are you? In Ontario we replace "essentials" with "locally developed".
I think we should change to your name.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
South Western Ontario. I haven't been a teacher in 6 years so that's what they called it when I was in a school. I'm an accountant now so I double love taxes.
Every time I've been asked to sub in a math class, I did this . I have an entire binder dedicated towards making math classes fun and informative by making them actually think about math in the lens of reality. The kids love it. I did get some questions from administration about the card games I taught everyone, because they turned into some mini-gambling ring within a week. Either they, they were learning about math, which is the most important thing to me as a teacher.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also got in trouble for teaching kids how to play blackjack as part of teaching probabilities and stats.
We have that at my school, except academic do nothing but things that don't apply. (well, we actually have 5, but the top do Uni work and the bottom do basic addition)
I went to Canadian Private school. We only had academic and then the smarter kids out of those took university and Calculus. (That's what I did).
My brother went to public school and failed grade 9 essentials 3 semesters in a row. One day he got permission to write the tax exam during a spare. My brother instead brought it home, my mom (a tax preparer) did the exam with him and he took it back to class and placed it under the teachers desk so that she thought she had lost it.
That one A got him an overall pass FINALLY and he never took math again.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
don't you need 3 maths to get your diploma? Did he never get it or did he do some alternate locally developed math?
He managed to finally get some kind of thing that gave him permission not to have to do math anymore and he did graduate. Since he knew he wasn't going to uni I think it didn't matter as much.
He is very smart and has a great career, he just sucks at math.
Hey my highschool did that too! I remember one lesson where my teacher explained mortgages to us. I had another teacher show us how to calculate different types of interest with an excel spreadsheet! Our math classes were called essentials, applied and principles though... probably all the same but with different names
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMO taxes should be taught at all levels. Like, why the fuck isn't it? Students constantly ask "when am I going to use this shit in real life?". Well there you go!
Except you need "Academic" to get into university and that class didn't include taxes. So now I'm super educated, but still a moron.
silian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, here in NS we didn't have applied and it instead went Essentials (for people who would fail the regular class and really only existed so they could get kids out of the school at 18) >Academic (the vast majority of students took this) >Advanced (Academic with like 1 extra unit covered per semester) and then AP which I'm pretty sure is it's own thing.
Dear god this needs to be done in ALL SCHOOLS. the amount of people who come out of college that dont know anything about taxes is baffaling, but hey i can tell you how WW1 started that should help with my sales job right??
Most people coming out of highschool have extremely simple taxes; if you can read and do basic arithmetic, you should have no trouble. The class he described was for people who couldn't do basic arithmetic.
mousicle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:35:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was all levels actually. The Essentials kids were the ones that could barely do arithmetic but the applied and academic kids were headed to a university or trade school. With them I'd talk more about why we pay taxes what a tax credit and what a tax deduction was, why certain things got you deductions, marginal brackets and why that was a good idea vs a flat tax. Different lessons for different skill levels.
But kids with above average math skills shouldn't need any more than that to have them sufficiently filing their taxes. Kids in the lower math level got more time devoted to it.
But kids with above average math skills shouldn't need any more than that to have them sufficiently filing their taxes.
Yeah, that's why it's so stupid that people complain that schools don't teach it. You can teach a child how to do it in less than an hour. It's not complicated enough to justify a systematic investment in the topic, particularly given its something everyone is going to learn anyway.
Are they, though? I can't count the number of people I've talked to in the USA who want a flat tax system. If they had even a cursory knowledge of our tax code they would realize how stupid that is.
Even a 1 day class on why we pay taxes, what they're used for and how to maximize your refund would be incredibly beneficial to most Americans.
In my experience, most of the people arguing for a flat tax system (by which they usually mean flat rate) are higher earners. These are people who think that their taxes would go down under such a system.
how to maximize your refund
I assume you meant "minimize the amount of tax paid". Honestly, this doesn't apply to the vast majority of households. The way you realistically do this is:
Buy a house.
Put your investment savings in a traditional IRA and a traditional 401k (if available).
That's it, you're done.
Its only when you crack the top 5% of earners that shenanigans help you pay less tax. I'm talking about things like backdoor Roth conversions, optimizing employee stock purchase program (ESPP) sales and setting up trusts for estate planning.
Its worthwhile to spend time doing that when you have a lot more money than the average American, but not when you're near the middle.
Taxes are easy for lower incomes, but a lot of people have to follow convoluted and vague instructions if they own investments, have high-travel jobs or are self-employed, taking advantge of various deductions, own multiple properties, etc. There's a surprising amount of gray area in the tax code beyond a 1040EZ. My taxes take several hours to file, even with software help.
mousicle ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:09:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its easier in Canada, we aren't as deduction based as the US is.
I'm so confused as to why an average person would be so confused by taxes. For people in your situation, it makes perfect sense to be confused and even to pay someone to do them for you. For people in my situation (and my mother's, as I often do her taxes too), it's simple. We have one source of income and don't own any other fancy financial...stuff.
Silicon Valley person here. Between various stock option exercises, private equity investments, employer expense reimbursements, and non-salary income (benefits, stock bonuses), it's not possible for me to use TurboTax or similar anymore. I'm literally forced to use a human tax preparer. What a hassle.
Yea, I've never found taxes hard and I started them when I was 14! I did have my dad to help answer questions, but they call it a 1040 EZ for a reason. Also, the IRS has plenty of resources to help understand their forms.
I've always understood it that taxes get harder if you are actually earning income in more complex ways (investments, etc.)
mousicle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:10:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least in Canada its more complex but its still a matter of following very explicit instructions. They don't make those forms to intentionally confuse you.
They shouldn't. There are companies all over the US that specialize in accounting work. It's cheaper to have them know the information than to teach a bunch of 10th graders information they'll forget anyways.
mousicle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:39:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
for most people its basic arithmetic. The lessons were also about why we pay taxes, what deductions and credits were, why we have marginal rates. Real life and being an informed citizen stuff not just mechanics of filling out a form.
I used to think everyone not only knew what a marginal rate was, but why they existed. But then I saw a few stories on Reddit about how some people are convinced if they get a raise they might get put into a new tax bracket, get taxed more and thus take home less.
I get the feeling that those people would still think this, even if they were explicitly told this was not the case.
They should at least a little. I knew I had to pay taxes, but I thought that was all taken care of since they were taken out of my paycheck. No one ever told me I had to file my taxes every year, so I didn't until I joined the military when I was 24.
I was taught taxes in school. but the teacher was this old cynical guy who only taught us that no matter how much we work, taxes would kill us in the end
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they teach you arithmetic and how to follow very explicit instructions? Congratulations! You know how to do most basic taxes.
temalyen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They did for me, but my mother was trying to force me to take a business major in college. My high school had electives courses you could pick and I was forced to take anything business related by my mother. Since she had to sign off on my course selection sheet, she'd change any selections I made around so I was always taking any business elective.
So I learned how to do taxes! .... and have taken my taxes somewhere to be done every single year I've had to do taxes. I've never actually done them myself.
As an aside, my mother did get her way and forced me into majoring in Business Administration during college (at the threat of withholding college funding if i didn't pick the major she wanted me to take, as she paid for everything) and I ended up dropping out after two years because I hated the major.
I'm guessing it's an elective in most high schools and, knowing kids, it's probably last pick for most. I went to a state school where you had no choice in classes and junior year we had a mandatory class once a week just about doing taxes and how to build credit and stuff.
It would be in the Governments interest to teach about tax forms. "Don't worry about deductions, that's WAY too much math. Just write a check for the full amount then you can go do something fun."
ACKAFOOL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school offered a personal finance class. We learned how to balance a checkbook, track expenses in Quicken Loans (I think), we learned about the different tax forms and how to file them. Unfortunately the knowledge has not carried over into adulthood.
jesus67 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They teach you how to read basic instructions and do basic math. That's all you need. I never got this meme. You don't need lessons on how to fill out a form.
While the classes are optional, a lot of school districts are implementing classes to teach you like skills like that. I'm a junior in high school and I've already learned budgeting, wages, and the basics of taxes.
I'm went to a public school in the US and learned how to do my taxes in school, and learned basic computer programming. I also learned wood working.
It's not bad everywhere. You get what you want from it.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hated the standardized tests and always got in arguments with administration cause I wouldn't do any lessons on how to write the tests. I figured if the kid knows the math they don't need to learn test strategies. My kids would usually score pretty well on the tests so I was happy but the principal wanted them to learn how to test so the school would look better.
Mine didn't either, and I never actually filed my taxes until I joined the military and discovered online tools. I didn't even know they were a thing you had to do since my taxes were automatically taken out of my pay. So many refunds that I missed out on.
Chelline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think a couple of states passed laws after the collapse in 2007 that made a finance class a requirement for graduation. NJ was definetley one of them.
Connoire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a taxes?
maxiums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a class on this, balancing a check book, and how to be a professional. It was called CMS, "Career Management Success". This was 9th grade in Tennessee.
ldamron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a public school and Finance class is a mandatory class that everyone must take and pass. They learn about taxes, mortgages, car payments, budgeting, credit cards, student loans, interest rates, etc. It's an invaluable class. Hope the kids utilize it.
I went to a small school in the middle of Kentucky. We were taught to do taxes our senior year in Government (a required senior class). If we had jobs, we used our own W-2's. This was in the late 90's, so the returns were all on paper.
My husband was always astounded at the classes offered at my school. He went to a much larger school in a bigger city (my graduating class had around 300 in it, his was over 1000) and didn't have close to the same offerings. We had a lot of classes that gave college credit, had a bank and a Kroger (grocery store) in the school that were ran by the students in the business classes, a greenhouse where you could buy produce grown by students, and had psychology and sociology classes. We also had tractor races in our driveway...
Is it complicated to do your taxes in America? In Sweden we basically just get a paper home that says how much tax return we get or have to pay, and either accept or don't
Suppafly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, they didn't teach taxes to me in school.
They taught you basic math and reading, that's all you need for taxes. My 11 year old could do my taxes.
Graduated HS in 2003. We learned how to do it then. I guess the curriculum probably changed, which is a fucking shame.
Elliott2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it'd be a pretty dumb class.. im glad they didn't.
business taxes? that'd be a bit different. everyday 1040ez or wtvr could be taught in an afternoon... if thats really even needed.
madamz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The older I get, the more thankful I am that I went to the high school that I did. We had a class called "Careers" that was basically all about doing your taxes, making a budget, and generally not fucking your life up as an adult. It was required for graduation.
Kll8902 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a class in high school that taught things like taxes and balancing a check book, but it was only offered to students who couldn't pass the state mandated math classes. I guess they assumed if you could figure out algebra and calculus, you could manage your basic tax return too.
At my school they had a class that seemed to try to cram everything "adulthood" into one. There was a very short unit about taxes but most of it was the computer illiterate teacher trying to teach us to use computers.
Personal economics was a requirement in my state (Illinois) if you wanted to graduate high school. They taught us how to fill out the EZ form, make a budget, write a check, how insurance worked vis a vis premiums and deductibles, etc.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've got programs that do it now to be fair.
brain89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They seriously need to. I completely misunderstood the idea of a standard deduction until way later than I should have.
On the other side of it after much explanation my wife still doesn't completely grasp why I asked her to deduct a little more from each paycheck. "Well they just automatically know how much needs to come out."
We were taught how to do this in Personal Finance class. The older I get the more I realize my experiences are fairly unique.
nipnip54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 21 and I barely know what a tax is
nate800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school had a special rotating class during your last two years. You'd spend 6 weeks learning sewing, repairing clothes, etc., 6 weeks on baking/cooking, 6 weeks learning taxes and loans, 6 weeks on basic money management (balancing a checkbook was a biggie), 6 weeks on local history, and so on. The school also provided behind-the-wheel driving classes, two students per teacher, for $25. I never realized how good I had it until I graduated.
This isn't a stab at you, but I see this posted so often, and it's usually one of my class mates who reposts some variation of this meme with the hopeless looking girl and it DRIVES ME UP A WALL because I sat through four years of the same classes as everyone else, but somehow I was the only one in my graduating class that got the lecture on interest, car maintenance, and taxes.
They taught us in our Career Development class for students who were a part of the "Work Release" program. Pretty neat class, although I don't remember how to my own taxes...
CheckoTP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids couldn't understand them so they just gave up.
They teach you to read, they teach you to do basic math, and to follow instructions.
That's literally all that is needed for people to file basic taxes. Yes it gets more complex but people straight out of high school probably have only simple forms required.
Yet you always see people say "They didn't teach me taxes in school!"
Because it's all explicit instructions on the tax forms. There's nothing to teach, other than the ability to read.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they taught me taxes but to be honest i don't remember, i was just too busy trying to pass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least we know the quadratic formula and how to find the standard deviation!
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stats are actually important to be a well educated member of society. I did stats on lets not do math days as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They prob did but you didnt pay attention. Like most of us.
Zabiool ยท 1404 points ยท Posted at 13:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does it feel being the tech support equivalent of academia?
mousicle ยท 1064 points ยท Posted at 13:53:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've done tech support as well. I think it was easier to teach grannies how to switch to HDMI 1 input. At least Granny is trying to listen.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:25:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever had someone that doesn't listen ? Try heading over to /tfts
mousicle ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 14:27:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh sure but there is nothing you can do about that but let them rant. I don't feel bad for the guy who's cable is out cause he wont restart the box I do feel bad for the kid that may not be able to hold a ditch digger job.
No, Granny is too busy telling you of her kids and how good they are at technology and why can't you just fix it like they do?
mousicle ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you send the tech. Officially the tech could charge granny if its something dumb like the input is wrong and our service is coming out of the box fine but they never do unless the granny is a raging douche nozzle.
Earlier today one brought back in their laptop netbook that they picked up just over a month ago.
She described all these ordinary things that it kept doing that it never used to do before.
You know... things like updating windows... and updating skype... and displaying messages from AVG in the corner (we would never install AVG, it was downloaded 9pm on the day it was picked up). Oh and the start page for opera, she says she used to type X into google and go there and she can't do that now... THERE IS A GOOGLE SEARCH BOX ON THE PAGE THAT COMES UP(speed dial).
We remembered what happened, one of her younguns unexpectedly came in to pick it up and since all it had left to do was windows updates it was allowed to go with the understanding she would update it to current herself.
From what i can tell now its back with us. Someone forcibly turned it off 100% of the time whenever it tried to install the updates.
Anyway, she wanted all these things gone (including AVG) and i told her that we call this "malicious compliance" and that i would do so.
Still, gotta make her happy so its now AV-less, any distracting icons (libreoffice and vlc media player) have been removed. The speed dial of opera is blank other than the google search bar (i set speed dials background to a 1x1 white pixel so the swirly background wouldn't confuse her) and i gave windows the time to update.
I did call center tech support before. I managed to talk a guy with Down Syndrome through a No POST/No Video issue before because he was willing to(insisted on, actually) let me walk him through the troubleshooting process. It took 4 1/2 hours, and we had to reseat every component on his motherboard, but it was working in the end.
I kind of don't have much sympathy for people who say they can't deal with computer hardware as a result.
Or so hyped up on hormones they believe they're the functional center of your teaching purpose and world. Grannies are at least patient, sweet and usually offer cookies. Also, while grannies have an odor of mothballs and maybe perfume, I'll take it over BO that could bring down a moose.
atcoyou ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:36:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You bring up an interesting point. There is a sweet spot of non-listening, where people think they know more than they do, so don't listen. This happens a lot with people new to the workforce too, and something I have tried to think about when learning something new. You need to take your ego out of it so you can learn.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nope just one summer
SF1034 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:09:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech support for the elderly is usually fun as hell. They're trying to maintain independence so they have a higher probability of actually listening to you.
derefr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:35:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Granny might be trying to listen, but she's not (usually) learning. In my experience, people of a certain age start to explicitly choose to not learn more general lessons from specific experiences, because they see that they got help (i.e. attention) once, and so now they see the opportunity to make doing that class of things a constant source of more help (i.e. attention).
You can tell when this is happening, because there are certain things they really do care about, and will learn the heck out of without much help. For my grandmother, when I set her up with an iPad, she couldn't understand anything about web browsing or the music app, etc... but the Facebook and Scrabble apps, she never asked one single question about, even though I imagine she must have struggled just as much with them. In those cases, she actually wanted to achieve mastery of them, in order to use them all the time (she's a very social person and social networking + social games are her "thing.") For everything else, she couldn't give half a damn. Thus, phone calls.
Not just listening, but if she's anything like the seniors I've helped she's writing notes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:31 on April 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to my granny who I couldn't even get to be quiet long enough to show her how to change the channel on her TV with a new remote. It was literally the same remote, but, "no, it's not. It's a new remote and I'll never learn it." "Mawmaw, this is the old one, this is the new one. The only difference is the old one is grey and the new one is black." "I want the old one, I can work that one." "Mawmaw, they're the same buttons." Now she just hits the buttons on the TV with her cane, the poor remote lying useless.
I work IT in academia. It can be soul crushing at times. I work in management but the amount of times a faculty member will require they work directly with me for their tech support issues because they are far too important to go to one of my staff.
Most of the time, when they come to me, i just ask them, what do the instructions say? and it answers their retarded questions.
Just yesterday:
Entitled Faculty: There is something wrong with BlaBla's email account, I tried to email them and got a bounce back. Please make sure the account is set up correctly. I don't have time for this nonsense.
Me: What does the bounce-back email say?
EF: I don't know, a bunch of giberish I don't understand. Please fix Blabla's email account immediatly.
Me: Forward me the bounce-back email please.
I get the bounce-back email which clearly states the email address does not exist, and please check the email address for typos. Sure enough there was a typo in the email address.
cegbe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:33:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do I download this?"
"The big green button that says download."
mousicle ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:59:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or is it the small yellow button that says download or this button over hear that says download, or this little picture of a magnet? I just want my porn dammit stop having so many download buttons
247Brett ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:42:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to inform you this way, but if you download porn, your computer probably has an std or two.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as long as it'll clear up with a round of penicillin it'll be ok
What's even worse is incredibly vague questions. Or when you give advice but the person doesn't listen to you.
"Hey my friend in Florida installed ram into his laptop and now it won't boot. What's wrong with it?" (I literally wanted to smack him when he asked me this)
Or my friend was getting a windows error message in this software relating to HDD1. I tell him it has to do something with a hard drive he removed and what does he do? He updates his graphics drivers...
Nebarik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, so many people like that at work. I hand them a signature pad, and say "read this statement, tap next, and sign on the next page". They don't bother reading and try to sign on the first page.
People just don't read. I don't get it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this problem trying to teach people how to play Killer Bunnies. 90% of the time someone asks me how a card works, I just read it to them and then they magically understand.
I have a computer literacy class that was supposed to be 8th grade-12th grade. They fucked up and let some 7th graders in there.
They must teach reading comprehension in 7th grade because each of the 7th graders just stares at the book. It literally is like this:
Click on the font drop down box (Home tab|Font group) and select Bernard MT Condensed
Click on the font size drop down box (Home tab|Font group) and select 36
Type Full-service, friendly care for your pets
Select the previous sentence and click the Bold button (Home tab|group font)
They CANT do it
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's an interesting computer literacy curve. I'd imagine it peaks with people born somewhere in the early to mid 80's, then begins to taper off the younger you are.
Devices are just much, much more easy and software will hold your hand every step of the way. There just isn't the same need for critical thinking when it comes to consumer technology.
The problem is that there are a bunch of terms that are pretty ambiguous. Does X count as a business expense? Am I working "in education" if I'm a caterer at a school? When they say I have to have worked in the position "for six months", does that means exactly 6 calendars months, or some specific number like 182 or 183 days?
You can ask these things on the internet, but you often get a number of contradictory opinions. That is where things get tricky - the maths is pretty simple.
Yeah, this is exactly what people are talking about when they mention that taxes are hard. It's not the math and it's not the wording, it's the categorizing. How many dependents do you claim? Well, I don't live with my parents anymore, but I still go to college, and I live with my SO, but we aren't married, and she doesn't work. But she does earn money from her family by doing housework for them. So she helps pay the bills.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Things are less complicated in Canada we don't have as many deductions. For regular folk just working a job its pretty simple
I do remember there being a couple of ambiguous things on the Quรฉbec tax form. It doesn't help either that in Canada you have to do two separate tax returns.
People who complain about schools not teaching taxes confuse me. Like, most people have access to the bulk of human information in their pocket, just fucking google it.
jusjerm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:52:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just the most accessible "real world knowledge" that teens can think of to replace the various classes they've written off as unnecessary.
I had to teach taxes in school, and no one cared one fucking bit about that unit
Hekesuh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:22:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the issue some people have, is that they were taught things that wouldn't apply in life as much as a personal finance class would, or teaching about their taxes. Advanced trig isn't going to help much when you're a minimum wage cashier.
When it came to choosing a math class for 11th grade, Personal Finance was no longer counted for a math credit so I took Pre Calc. I don't know if that class available anyways because of that.
And it's ALWAYS the number one answer in threads about what schools should be teaching students. Taxes are pretty easy - with online programs that exist now they're very easy. They also tend to start pretty simple and get more complicated as you get older, so most people get eased into the complicated stuff pretty gradually.
The 1040ez is written at about a 8th grade reading level, if you can't figure it out, it wasn't taxes that you should have learned it is the ability to read and follow directions.
I work a complex technical job, and am very successful. I'm still constantly fucking baffled by my tax forms, and only medical forms even come close to being as difficult.
Give me complex differential equations, complex topologies, and extensive user oriented responsive layout design any day of the week over tax forms, way fucking simpler.
Tax forms are easy, you just need to follow the instructions. There's a whole glossary and expanded instructions if you don't think the simple version is clear enough.
If you only have a single W-2 and nothing fancy, sure. I could manage it myself no problem.
However many people have slight complications and it can be a pain in the ass to figure out what counts as what. As a grad student (in mathematics, so it's not the instructions or addition I struggle with), tax season is a nightmare for me because funding comes from 2-4 different sources, some of which are taxed, some not taxed, some partially taxed, some deductible, none clear about which is which, it's an absolute clusterfuck trying to piece it all together.
H&R Block helps a little, but can only do so much, and I can't afford to actually sit down with someone that can figure it out. Frequently I just give up, pick some reasonable sounding number, and figure if I'm far enough off, the IRS will let me know.
Eh, it's not the worst solution either. I'm fairly certain I'm not overpaying, and if the government really wants to stop me from underpaying, they shouldn't leave it up to me to figure out what I owe. They should determine that and tell me. That's their bad.
movzx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They actually know what you would owe (or they owe) based on what your employer files. They can automatically do a tax return based on standard deductions, and if you need something special then you would file at that point.
Sadly, this gets lobbied against by Intuit and such. :(
We'll see. I'm pretty committed to actually managing to finish it this year instead of giving up and having to pay some H&R block person two hundred bucks to do it for me.
jesus67 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:59:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a lot like the elderly people who are perfectly happy following your directions in person, but when the exact same thing is clearly printed on a computer screen they just shut down. It's the intimidation of it I guess.
One really nice thing about taxes is that they pretty much don't get complicated until you get to the point of having enough money to pay someone else to do them for you. But somehow every year people with a single W2, with no major expenses, go to H&R Block or something to have someone do the simplest taxes in the world.
The problem seems mostly to be with fear and a lack of basic understanding of taxes. We've probably all ran into people who genuinely think that getting a raise into a higher tax bracket will somehow end up having them lose money.
Exactly. Basic income tax forms only require basic arithmetic and reading comprehension. If you can't fill out a paper 1040EZ, they should have spent more time in your school on those two subjects.
yanroy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have even moderately complex taxes, it's essentially impossible for a layman. But if you work one job, own a max of one house, and don't have any investments, sure it's easy.
Well, that and the fact the federal legislation is frequently passed to prop them up, lol.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you own a business or have any unusual circumstances it can make your taxes way more complicated.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always do my own taxes. My dad taught me a long time ago. But one year I was a new York resident half the year while being stationed in Texas as active duty military and i had a W2 from two different jobs and two different states and had my residency changed during that year. It was a fucking nightmare and i almost paid H&R block. But thankfully the online software had a very active community and lots of folks answers my questions fast and i got through it. Taxes are very easy when you have one income and no other variables, but man they get complex fast.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Canadian too our taxes are way simpler then US taxes
2211abir ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:59:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could explain that. Maybe the student didn't understand what the boxes were, or that adding box X and Y means adding up their values.
mousicle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:01:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No pretty much every time it was just a kid that didn't read the instructions or thought it was more complicated then what the instructions said.
Hah, to be fair, to a programmer those instructions are vague as written.
Does "add box 23 and 24" mean to sum the values of whatever is found in box 23 and the literal value 24, or to sum the value of box 23 and the value of box 24?
I kind of get it. I find paperwork and forms like that really tedious.
There is something so abstract and removed about tax forms especially that just doesn't click in my mind - and I'm in my thirties.
I think it's because there is no why. Add these boxes together. Get his number. Take form 32.b and take the number from box 72 and copy it here.
When I look and understand what value they're trying to figure out and why, it becomes much easier for me. "Oh they want my total earnings from multiple business, just in case I'm a contractor". But obviously the forms can't tell people that, because they'll get 'creative' so it's just abstract instructions.
For me things like that take a lot of effort and focus, because of the complete lack of context.
"Ok, there's a box on my screen, what do I do now?"
"What does it say?"
"It says 'click here to continue'.
delmar42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish more schools taught practical life skills like this. I'm fortunate that I was taught to balance a checkbook (back when people still wrote checks regularly).
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's why I went beyond the curriculum and added lessons on life stuff and lessons about how awesome math was. I got mixed reactions from other teachers some thought it was awesome some thought we should just stick to curriculum cause there wasn't time for that sort of thing.
Also happy cake day
k4j98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In his defense, the instructions should say, "add the contents of boxes 23 and 24." I don't know how to add shapes either.
This is how my older neighbor is when the print dialogue comes up on the screen.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching how to do your taxes should be compulsory learning. I can think of no better real world application of mathematics learning than this.
DrHoss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay so I'm one of those people that was confused by this the first time I saw tax forms. A lot of people are saying this was because people simply didn't read the instructions, which is probably true in some cases. But I did read the instructions. I was confused because it seemed so stupid to just add two of the boxes that I thought "no way that's what they want, I must be missing something". You would think the people who analyze and enter these forms would want the most concise way to gather information. A box that is simply the sum of two other boxes doesn't add any more information about your taxes so it seems very inefficient. It just adds one more box to consider and one more source of error
jrsooner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the classic Are-You-Paying-Attention paper.
"Read all instructions before taking this test. Print your name and date at the top of the page. Disregard all questions and return this paper to your teacher. Every question you answer shall be marked as incorrect regardless if it is or not."
Instead of "So add box 23 and 24?" I would say something like "So, what do you think you're supposed to do?"
They're just refusing to use their brain at that point and want you to hold their hand through the entire thing. But I'm a sarcastic bastard with students sometimes, so take that with a grain of salt.
Wow... Where do they teach you to do taxes? In my highschool we learned only the important life lessons of calculus, Shakespeare, and home economics (cooking and sewing).
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in Canada but it wasn't part of the curriculum it was an extra enrichment lesson I'd do on lets not do Regular Math Fridays. For kids in the essentials tier I'd do a whole unit on taxes and personal finance.
Yesterday, I walked someone through the process of opening ports for their Garry's Mod server. They got quite far into it, but were stuck at a part, and I viewed their screen through Skype to help.
They had the first port at 27015 and their last port at 27005. The error of their router said something like "the starting port must be less than the ending port". And they called me over that. I was like... you got an error message. Read it out loud to me. And they suddenly asked, hey, should I switch these ports? Yes? Please do?
Why do I get calls like these. I know I'm Tech Savvy, but come on. Computers these days are built to help you. It's not error code 1337. It tells you quite clearly what the problem is, don't call your friends to read and interpret the error code for you, just do what it says. Making one number less than the other number is not that hard.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: How do you add boxes, like just draw a bigger box?
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Remember back to the algebra lesson where I said it doesn't really matter that it's an X and anything could be the variable"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: So not a bigger box, just thicker lines!
gdarb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how hearing me read EXACTLY what is written on the page is any different from them... reading it.
I understand that there are auditory learners, but for fuck's sake. Read it out loud.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and people are complaining that Trumps appointees will "ruin our education system".... Not pointing the finger at teachers but we have some absolute morons in America. How can you worry about an education system when lazy parents put zero effort in to their kids learning?
We were always told to read all of the instructions before answering any questions on a test. There was always that one teacher who put in their instructions to leave the test blank to emphasize that we were supposed to read all of the instructions first.
UGH I have a coworker like this that drives me fucking insane. He's a grown man, yet when I send him simple email instructions on how to do anything he will call me immediately, and I will basically just read the email to him.
I understand people learn differently, and some do better with being taught verbally rather than reading, but when it's something insanely simple like click on this link to get to a website, it gets a little old.
I started color-coding certain words and phrases and using different-sized fonts to get him to actually read it and understand it better. I felt it was a little condescending, but it actually helped!!
I still hate him though.
Keskekun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soooo I'll take the number from.box 47 right.....?
kongo10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
47! Boom! did I get it right?
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Box 47, you can't just drop the variable
Nyx87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it has to do with people perceiving tax forms are super challenging. I helped my bf who is from the Philippines with his new hire tax forms and he asked questions like that as well, and he is a pretty smart guy.
grizzfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 26 and never learned how to do taxes. Parents babied me way too much about that stuff. I honestly could see myself asking the same question. It's more of an intimidation than it is a simple lapse of thinking.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's part of the reason I had kids do it. I wanted to show them that while the form looks intimidating its just basic arithmetic and following directions.
2daMooon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I to this day have no idea how you teach someone to follow very explicit instructions.
And yet the Reddit hive mind always seems to be in favour of teaching taxes in school. I think a class teaching how to Google and solve a problem yourself would be a much more effective class.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they write 47?
tynorex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, taxes aren't hard to do, just long and tedious. They are overly complicated but only because there's so many rules and exceptions because people cheat them all the time-however they're pretty explicit in what you need to do.
Why is a good accountant good at saving you money? Because they know where to look and what rules can and can't be bent to squeeze out a little more money. But if you have basic income like most people fresh out of high school/college, an hour out of your day is all you need to file your taxes. I'd recommend Turbo Tax.
In the US, compaines like H&R Block and TurboTax lobby the government to prevent teaching how to do taxes in school, and to keep the tax code as convoluted as possibe so that people stay dumb and have to come to them to have their taxes done.
This blows my mind. I was never taught how to do taxes in school, but when I first began to fill out tax forms at age 18, I was able to figure it out on my own because THE FORMS WALK YOU THROUGH THE PROCESS LINE BY LINE. It was a simple income tax form, not brain surgery. If you can read and follow directions, you can do basic income taxes.
ablack82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me, the form looked somewhat confusing, and there was a lot of terminology I wasn't familiar with, so when something easy came up (like adding two numbers together) I was skeptical
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the answer was box 47, right?
l_Kage_l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They teach how to do taxes? Where?
Am Romanian.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Canadian. It wasn't part of the official curriculum, just something I did on my own cause I thought it would be good for the kids to know and an interesting break
Dason37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do approvals for prescriptions for an insurance company, and the doctors can do most of them online. There is a question on one form, where if the answer is YES, then lab documentation is required to be sent in with the request. I haven't looked at the forms online to see if they're copy and pasting, or if it's a drop down, or what, but 90% of those particular forms have that question answered as "YES. (Please upload supporting lab documentation)" in that blank. And 0% of them actually include the labwork. It also mentions sending in labwork in 2 different parts of the form. The clearer you make the instructions, the less likely people are to follow them.
Yserbius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, there are tests for kids with learning disabilities that require things like that. A girl in my wife's class was way behind where she should have been. The initial assessment test was something like "Draw circle on a paper, draw an arrow pointing to the circle, fold the paper in half." I'm not even sure she got the circle part right.
Also not a teacher, but when I was in high school in health class while going over reproduction there was a fellow student who raised her hand and asked if you were sterile, could you pass it on to your children. The whole class giggled and she, confused, said she was serious, she wanted to know if you're sterile could you pass it on to your kids. The teacher, with a smile, said to her "OK, let's think about this. What does it mean to be sterile?"
She began answering "It means that you can't have k...OHHHHH!" - followed by another round of laughter from the rest of the class.
To her credit, they're finding that people concieved using IVF are having difficulty having children of their own as adults. So not completely a dumb question, depending if you mean completely sterile or unable to reproduce unassisted.
To add to that, this only goes for IVF/ICSI in case of male fertility problems.
There is some evidence that endometriosis is hereditary as well, but women with endo aren't per definition sterile and can often conceive naturally or through IUI.
Just to clarify that IVF in itself isn't a risk factor and that it depends on the reason for fertility treatment if any possible fertility issues are passed on.
cotu101 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:07:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
great. im a male that was conceived through IVF. I wanna start having kids in a few years. Could the IVF have an effect on that?
Azertys ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 17:31:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you had to be conceived because your dad had a too low sperm count, the medical reasons behind it may be hereditary yes.
cotu101 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:27:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks
krabbby ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 20:37:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you could do IVF too and just kick the can down the road a little more so it's all good.
Why did they do IVF? It could be because your mom had trouble with ovulating or several other maternal reasons ... it could only influence you if your dad has hereditary sperm issues.
It is super easy to have your sperm tested. You get a private room, often porn is provided, you jizz in a cup and they can tell you exactly how much swimmers you produce, what their quality is etc.
For optimal conditions:
do not binge drink. It's way worse for your production to binge once a month than to drink one unit daily
no tight underwear
no hot baths, saunas
no fevers (not easy to avoid obviously)
'holding it up' is bad for quality, an ejaculation about every three days is good
cotu101 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha ok thanks. i feel like kind of an idiot now.There is a correlation between IVF and infertility, but the causal link lies in the fact that the parent most likely had problems with fertility as well and passed it on through their genes. this is what your saying right? so it is not actually the IVF that causes infertility, merely a correlation
pipette a small portion of it into a hemocytometer; use it to count how many sperm there are. Ideally you should be in the 50+million/mL range, though you only need to be really concerned if you're below 10M/mL.
for another portion of the sample, put it on a slide and run a TUNEL assay on it to measure DNA integrity. Ideally it should be pretty high -- there will be plenty of sperm with issues, but you hopefully want to see some that are good in there too.
for your last test, smear out a sample onto a slide, and let it dry. Then, fix and stain it -- you can use something like Diff-Quik. From there, you can toss it under your microscope, take a representative area, and check for morphological defects (pinheads, crooked necks, double-head or double-tail, etc.). Again, you'll definitely find some with flaws; the question is just what proportion. You want at least like 10% with normal morphology.
You only really need a decent microscope, a few materials you can grab from any decent scientific supply house, and a few hours of time.
Now, these are fairly negotiable -- if you have lots of sperm, it's OK if a greater fraction of them are defective (don't worry, your partner will filter them out). If you have fewer, but they're mostly good quality, you're similarly OK. It's if you really have way too few good sperm that you would need to start thinking about clinical assistance.
(Seriously though, you can go to a clinic and they should be able to run this stuff pretty easily and cheaply).
PS: Avoid centrifuges. They don't do friendly things to sperm.
cotu101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:19 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha thanks for letting me know how i can do it myself!! (don't worry, im gonna go to a clinic)
waitwuh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:27:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a women with endo and a frequent commenter within the /r/endo community - endo's association with infertility often comes with many misconceptions! But I love to offer explanations for those interested.
Of women who experience fertility issues, Endometriosis is a very common cause. Additionally, endometriosis is rather difficult to diagnosis (it requires a surgery) and not so long ago it was often only explored as a possibility when women were experiencing issues conceiving - women with other symptoms were very often not operated on. These two trends built the public's perception to associate endometriosis strongly with infertility. However, of women with endo at large, most do not have any issues conceiving!
Endometriosis is estimated to affect 1 out of 10 women - that makes it a pretty common disorder. The symptoms experienced can vary in both presentation and severity, with some women being practically asymptomatic. Doctors designed a "staging" system based on the results of the surgery to determine it's level of progression. Staging does not directly correlate to symptoms, however, it is a pretty good predictor for chances of issues conceiving. Women with Stage I endo or minimal endometriosis are considered the least risk to experience issues with fertility. However, Stage IV Endo sees a much higher risk. Even still, there are plenty of women with Stage IV endo who don't have trouble conceiving. Of those that do, treating endometriosis (by getting the lesions removed surgically) is known to improve fertility. And finally, progesterone (birth control!) is known to suppress endometriosis' growth and spread, which is why it's a common part of the treatment plan for women with endo. So women who take birth control for many years before conception are at lower risk of endo developing in the first place or progressing further and thus are at a lower risk of it's potential impact on their fertility - all thanks to the drugs protective qualities.
So IVF conceived children may need IVF to have children? Seems like a self-serving industry, ensuring their own future. Also, better start saving for IVF
There are mitochondrial genetic issues which result in no chance of a viable embryo whatsoever. This can now be corrected by taking mitochondrial DNA from a third party, but "in the wild" would be equivalent to complete sterility. There are other disorders (or homosexuality) where the person just doesn't produce sperm or eggs, this will likely be solvable in humans very soon from induced germ cell differentiation (regardless of sex too, so you could have 2 gay guys make biological offspring)
tonyray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not super surprising though. If your parents had fertility issues requiring IVF, it seems pretty reasonable that you could inherit those same issues.
lavahot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't have kids, maybe just adopt some ultra verile kids.
Do you have a study that points to this? It's something I'd be interested in reading about, and I tried to google it, but apparently my google skills are complete shit.
Peliquin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That they need to do research on this confounds me. I remember asking my Mom about this when I was eight. "Well, if they can't have kids, aren't they going to just create kids who have the same problem?"
No, not to her credit, because she definitely didn't think about this when she asked. She said something that didn't make sense out loud like we've all done, she wasn't asking some kind of deep scientific question about IVF.
I was that kid! I literally asked that question. And I did get laughed at. I tried to explain that there are people in my extended family who had had difficulty conceiving, and I was wondering if that (or the inability to conveive at all) was something that had a genetic basis.
Beetin ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:37:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because it sounds like a stupid question, but really isn't, and in fact has a very interesting and thought provoking answer. By reducing the answer to the simplest possible option "sterile means you can't have kids so no (no longer true anyways), the teacher has ignored the very interesting question and teaching moment it brings up (can things like sterility be passed on: Yes).
I'm Australian, if that narrows it down, and it was a girls-only class. OP said "health class," which is not what we called it, so I probably wasn't the same kid. But everything else played out exactly the way OP describes it. I did have a moment of suddenly realising my question didn't make sense, even though I knew what I was trying to say. And there was definitely a lot of laughter.
It's probably a question that pops up in every reproduction lesson the world over.
No, I was thinking of my aunt, who was told she couldn't have children at all, but ultimately did. Her daughters have actually had trouble conceiving, so my question was eventually answered.
I could see this happening. The discomfort of talking about sex kept her brain from putting two and two together. At least she got it after she said it out loud.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:30:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
I feel someone somewhere has told this joke to an adopted child and made them very sad...
Dicios ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:56:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think she kind of asked the question wrongly as it is a valid question if not asked in such a black and white way. Sterility comes with age and afaik it is never 0% unless you are among the low percentage of some very big genetic abnormality or got something cut off.
So in a sense people who become sterile can technically have kids with some help or, have them before they become sterile or as people who had sterile kids themselves could have some sort of genetic pattern that caused sterility in their kids.
Should of asked if there was some sort of genetic or common cause that certain parents could have to cause this in their children.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:39:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my high school biology class we had a section on hybrid animals. We talked about the liger a sterile cross between a tiger and a lion. There was a guy in my class that asked what if you crossed a liger with another lion? The teacher said its sterile.....blank stare from the guy. "But what happens if a lion and a liger have baby what do they look like." He knew what sterile meant I think he just really wanted to imagine a giant cat.
There was a moment like that in our biology class too, only I still insist it was a valid question so it shits me when I remember it.
My best friend and I wanted to know what would happen if two mules conceived.
Yeah, they're usually sterile, but the key word there is 'usually'.
Could the foetus be carried to term or would it be miscarried? Would it be born deformed, or would it just be like any other mule?
Considering how fucky genetics can be with two horses that are completely the same species (like when two overos breed), do the genetic differences and similarities between a horse and a donkey compound with the generations and cause problems, or does it work itself out with hybrid vigour? If there are problems, what kind of problems come up? Why those ones, and not some other set of problems?
jim10040 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kudos to the teacher for leading the student. Just missed a short train of thought.
This reminds me of something stupid I did for show and tell.
My Great Grandmother was born on the same day as Canada's "birthday." She lived a long life, and on her 100th birthday Canada was obviously 100 on the same day.
Because it was a nifty coincidence, she got to meet the Prime Minster and got a certificate pretty much saying "Hey it's cool you and Canada are both 100!" It was signed by the Prime Minister, and two other people.
Anyway, my Mother inherited the certificate, and one day I brought the certificate to class for show and tell. We passed it around and someone asked "Oh I can see the Prime Minister signed it, but who are the other two signatures?"
I didn't know the answer and said "I don't know, maybe her parents?" which caused the class to start giggling. I didn't understand at all why everyone thought it was funny. I actually didn't clue in until about a week later.
Still feel sort of silly about that one. In case anyone is as dumb as me: She was 100. Pretty sure her parents were long dead by that point.
naddi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While that might be a bit embarrassing for the girl, it was a really great move on the teacher's part. Socratic questioning is an awesome way to help students form a better understanding of the concept and develop logistical reasoning skills.
It actually took me a while to get it aswell... I was looking for the answer in the comments. lol.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:42:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reproduction can be difficult lol to be honest, I thought twins that were two separate genders were from the same egg but I could NOT understand how they became two different genders. Took me until my bio lecture in college to fully understand fraternal vs identical lol
Espdp2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That beautiful moment of dawning comprehension. Priceless!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a boy that was in my year at school and we had the same sex Ed class. The teacher asked what we do if we don't want unplanned pregnancy the answer is obviously use a condom, she then asked what we'd do if we want a planned pregnancy, to which the boy replied 'cut a hole out of the end'
there are any number of reasons you could be sterile that don't manifest themselves from the time of puberty. the question had a perfectly good idea and instead of getting to the core of the idea you coached the kid into thinking his question was stupid. good job.
Hey, kudos to the teacher for helping the student figure out her error. That's how you teach!
pjp2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In their defense, I'm sure all of us have had a moment of stupidity like that one. We don't realize how stupid our question is until we actually think about it.
Teaching health I had a student look at a picture of the male reproductive system and he looked at me aghast and goes, "wait, all of this is INSIDE OF ME?"
There was an argentinian actress who asked this question in live TV to an expert... She also, when told that an archeologist had found a dinosaur, asked "alive?".
Hah! I had a classmate asking the same question. I don't think he was trolling either, he had a couple of gems. I'm Austrian, so English is my second language, once we had to learn the term social worker which he translated back into german as a worker who really likes socialising with other people. Sadly I can't remember most of the other things he said.
kaloonzu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That could have been a much more tragic situation; I thought this story was going to end with her revealing, inadvertently, that she was sterile to her classmates.
elcarath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really glad that teacher at least responded to the question and made her think it through. That's good teaching.
Yes, basic bitch etymologists put it into the genera of the Lexises back in 2003, after it was discovered it was more closely related to them than the Alexes.
Normally not in middle/high school when you're learning about it. Sure the others might be mentioned, but you pretty much only need to know the U.S., Britain, France, and the USSR. At least that was the case when I was in HS a few years ago.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 21:01:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
American students don't usually learn that the USSR is included in "the Allies." Rather, that the USSR just happened to be in the neighborhood and so decided to help out.
yarlof ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:52:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned it. They made a big deal about how many Russians died in the effort, the horror at Stalingrad, how they basically handled the Eastern Front on their own, etc.
Granted, this was only 6 years ago and in New Jersey, so other places/times they may have taught it differently.
It's absolutely true, though. The USSR stayed out of the war until Hitler invaded them too. They weren't allies. They just happened to have the same enemy.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Co-beligrents
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The US also stayed out of the war until Japan attacked.
Not true. The USSR was considered an Allied Nation. They were part of "The Big Three" after all, and signatories to the United Nations. Calling them 'co-belligerents' came into vogue in the late 40s. It was the inspiration for Orwell's 1984 passage about how the Eurasians were the eternal enemies of Oceania, even though they were allies a few decades ago.
There were actual co-belligerents, though. For example, post-Mussolini Italy fought the German-backed Social Republic of Italy in a quasi-civil war. They were not considered Allies, merely co-belligerents, and that's why Italy wasn't a UN member until 1955.
*edit grammar
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Winston Churchill compared himself and Stalin to Neville Chamberlain and Hitler.
He trusted the United states, he just didn't know how to get them involved in the war.
Honestly, it might have been that. It's been a few years so I don't remember exactly how it was taught to me.
Sefirot8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in this case the mispronunciation IS stupid, because she would have had to go through the entire course without making a connection between Allies written down, and Allies spoken out loud.
I had an English teacher that pronounced "Ogre" as "Org" ... I had another friend say that to me once and I was so confused and then I wondered if it was a common mispronunciation
aGeordie ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:40:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. I know adults that do this all the time. If the first time you've come across a word is from reading it, it's not obvious how it's pronounced.
My own embarrassing example came from a Terry Pratchett book. I mentally pronounced hitherto as a single word every time I read it. So instead of hither-to, I read it (and eventually once said it) as if it were a new type of singing voice.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:17:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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aGeordie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use to work at a bank. Had a coworker that bragged at having a communications degree. He calls up a brokerage firm to confirm which office we are supposed to tie the investment to, in order for the broker to be paid his commission. My coworker said, โScant and tity? Or Albany?โ. He did not know how to pronounce Schenectady, NY.
jlenney1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:56:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar thing happen with pokemon games and the move "facade".
I knew the word, and knew how it was pronounced, but I'd never read it and the pokemon game setting added extra ambiguity as to whether it was a real word or not.
It took me like 3 or 4 years before I realized on my own how hilarious of a mistake I'd make. I'd been mentally pronounced it "fah-cade" the whole time.
Yeah the correct pronunciation is "fuh-sahd" but I called it "fah-cade" since I'd never read the word and connected the pronunciation.
Same with yarmulke for a bit, but that one is kind of cheating. I doubt many people outside the Jewish community could spell it from memory so I don't feel too bad about that one. I can now though hah.
GLaDOs18 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:28:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had been in your place I would not have been able to hold back my laughter.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:38:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Sefirot8 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:42:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You're about to have a rough daylife"
Legownz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:25:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She pronounced it like the girl's name Allie.
Reminds me of a time I was working on a group project and my friend was writing down everyone's names. He asked me what this one girl's name was and I said "Aly" and he's like "Ok" and writes down "Alley"...
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly a lot of people would get that wrong. There's like four different white girl spellings and I might be able to Ebonics the fuck out of it for a couple more
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:06:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then you've got your Ali, as in Muhammad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Ali was his brother or step brother or uncle or something.
Legownz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:07 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did The Sound of Music as a kid, and they had a local actor in a first-time role as the Captain. He didn't know the show too well, and the script was an old mimeograph, not the nice computer-edited professional-looking versions they send out today.
At one point, the Captain is supposed to say, comfortingly, "Liesl, Liesl." Liesl is the name of his eldest daughter. At the first rehearsal, he misread the awful old mimeograph as having exclamation points, and in the middle of a tender scene, shouted, "Lies! Lies!"
hoylemd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:34 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GODDAMN THAT IS ADORABLE.
stygger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:22 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair there can be many young americans that think the US was part of the Allies from the start when in fact the Allies mainly consisted of the United Kingdom for a number of years.
At university I had a classmate that would often show up 20 minutes late to class. The first thing he did after sitting down was raise his hand to ask questions about what the professor had just said, question after question until he had caught up with the rest of the class.
Absolutely infuriating.
tritonice ยท 7300 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a bad professor who allowed that.
[deleted] ยท 2592 points ยท Posted at 20:25:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's how it would actually go:
Student: "Wait, how did you get to that step? What was the previous step?"
Professor: "Do you have a question about this step?"
Student: "No, I have a question about the previous step."
Professor: "Then why didn't you ask it when I went over the previous step?"
The class begins as usual, students begin to take notes, eager to learn. The teacher, despite the late hour, is energetic and engaging. A normal, productive night like the weeks before.
Suddenly in the middle of a sentence one student stands up; his over-sized stained sweatpants swaying gently as though a breeze passed through. The teacher drops her sentence; a puzzled expression comes over her as she waits for an explanation.
It is in vain.
He glances around the silent classroom languidly then departs, leaving his disheveled notebooks and texts behind; never looking back, letting the door slam behind him as he exits the room.
The class is momentarily stunned but recovers from the bizarre scene and returns quickly to the act of learning.
An hour passes.
The door abruptly opens again, the former student returning with chips and soda in hand. A contented look upon his face as he saunters back to his previously occupied seat, as though he was basking in the incredulous stares of his stupefied classmates and teacher.
He sits; opens his chips and soda then looks around at the staring audience. For a moment, just a moment, he appears to wonder if something is out of place in his actions. If somehow he is in the wrong?
No, he decides, and munches on a chip before raising his hand in a slow but smooth motion.
The teacher hesitates, wondering, hoping, praying. She steels her resolve and acknowledges the errant student.
"Yes?"
He takes a breath slowly, as though he knows deep down this is wrong, but resolves himself to action.
"What'd I miss?"
Everything stops. The world stills and all eyes turn from student to teacher.
A breath.
Another breath.
A single strangled syllable.
Another breath; deeper this time, as she finally collects herself.
"A lot."
Ichera ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:15:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I show up 10-20 minutes late to my cc night class most of the timeโwith coffee of courseโbut usually haven't missed anything. If there weren't unannounced quizzes I'd probably not go most of the time
Alarid ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:23:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Guess you fail then"
I had one professor who was asked about one step, and she stared at the student then turned back to the board and kept writing. That was strike three for her, and now she isn't allowed to teach at the university anymore.
What the fuck? What's happened to teaching students self-responsibility? Of course maybe the professor was harsh in the way she dismissed the student - maybe she should've told the student to ask a classmate to help him/her get up to par - but something's wrong here.
[deleted] ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 21:26:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay yeah if you were in a lecture style class then I get it but if you're talking about an upper-level, program specific course where there's 12 students in attendance, that's just a shitty professor.
Professor was then promptly fired, due to the student no longer feeling safe at campus. The student was given a week of safe-space, complete with kitties, puppies, lego and playdough.
Damn, lot of downvotes for a joke.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:36:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Safe space! Safe space!
Ololic ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tough titty
That's harassment
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:09:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
None of my professors cared how late we were as long as we didn't disrupt the class.
[deleted] ยท 399 points ยท Posted at 18:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also clearly the smartest student in the room for taking advantage and getting 20 mins extra sleep
[deleted] ยท 267 points ยท Posted at 19:05:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How so? They got to hear the first part twice, and then they both had to hear the second part in less detail, which means that the second part will only be fully understood by kids who go home and look it up, which are probably not the kind of kids who come to class 20 mins late.
I had similar classes but the professor would typically realize the same student asked 5+ questions back to back and would tell him to stay behind after class or meet them during office hours for 1-1 instruction.
PRMan99 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:36:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor that said, "Show up on time and you won't miss anything."
I had a night class with a guy who came in every day with his laptop and exclusively watched Bollywood movies in a single Bluetooth earpiece or napped. Not stereo headphones, just a mono earpiece.
I would imagine if a single student started asking multiple questions 20 minutes after class started regarding the first 20 minutes of the lecture, and did that for more than two days, then most professors would probably be on high alert, even if it was the Rose Bowl.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:20:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it a bad student for doing that?
[deleted] ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 19:37:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Ex_iledd ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:13:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bad, but on a much lower scale than the teacher. Not only does he enable that behaviour, he also wastes valuable time that could be spent teaching the other children.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:51:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Ribbing ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:56:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Debatable.
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legally, sure. But mentally...Not so much. Though the professor who had a test and paper due after The Super Bowl clearly didn't subscribe to that belief. I've never witnessed a more miserable class.
jrizos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It actually states on my syllabus, and I would say the same to a person doing this, that I'm not going to give them a personalized lecture to catch them up on things missed in their absence. They can consult with other students and get even better notes, because, you know, notes.
It happens in seminars where no one feels like participating. There are usually a few dumb kids that'll throw up their hand and contribute nothing but since they're contributing something, they'll get marks anyways.
I had a kid like this in a class I took where the professor would go completely on tangents on his own and the bullshit this kid guy would ask about was completely unrelated. Every time the professor finished explaining something, he'd say "okay, any questions?" and this kid would do this every time, like clockwork. I mostly just ended up playing Sonic on my laptop in class because like 5% of the lecture was actually relevant to anything on the test.
Nah they get paid to show up and teach. You would be surprised. They give zero shits if a student shows up late, though asking questions they HAVE to answer.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:12:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit. They get paid to have standards. They also did a disservice to the rest of the class.
Right, because repeating material is a "poor job of teaching".
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:29:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consistently repeating material for one student because that student consistently shows up late is a poor job of teaching. It is keeping the rest of the class back.
You cant just say "end of discussion" to act like you won. You clearly have no idea what a professors job is. They have an obligation to teach the material, if one student tries to waste 20 minutes because they are not on time, then thats 20 minutes of class that doesnt get taught properly/at all. This is why teachers usually say save questions until the end.
You are either a shitty student or a worse professor...
OP did not say that the student wasted 20 minutes. It just said he kept asking questions. Nowhere does it say it took 20 minutes to answer the questions.
If it takes the prof 20 minutes to teach it in the first place, it will take longer for him to reteach it with this student also spending time asking about it. Or he could skim over it very quickly and not teach it properly, which also goes against your argument that he is a good prof. Face it, you are wrong.
Teachers, no? Professors, do. In 3rd and 4th year classes they have a LOT of control. 1st and 2nd year, not so much. If this professor was doing this I can guarantee it was an upper level class.
I meant professors, but generally speaking i'd say it applies to both. I draw the line when continuing to get a late student caught up means the lesson plan for the day can't be fully covered.
If you fall behind, it should be because students are actively engaged and questioning something they already heard (no matter when it was discussed during the lecture). But they shouldn't be asking to repeat anything to the extent that the entire class falls behind in the lesson plan due to students who show up late.
Ribbing ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:27:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, they get paid to teach a class, not cater to the whims of a single student. If they let one student dictate how a large chunk of class time is spent then they are failing to teach well and they are shorting the other students on the education that they paid for.
You don't seem to have a very mature or professional understanding of the occupation.
OP does not say prof spent 20 minutes re-teaching. Prof just answered said questions. That can take 5 minutes to do for each concept. I highly doubt that in 20 minutes that prof taught more than 1 or 2 concepts. Answering vaguely still is an answer...
Merwana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, but thank you for your opinion. Feel free to downvote me if that helps you sleep at night.
heat1132 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:15:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a bad teacher then, at least some of the teachers I've had actually care if their students are late. Not a lot of teachers teach for the money, at least, not in America
In canada profs don't care. I go to an "ivy league" school in ontario. They couldn't care less. If they fall behind it doesn't matter. And I've seen this in all 4 years. I've had exams be 2-3 chapters less because they fell behind.
OldFrets ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to teach college classes, I assure you that you are wrong. Based on your other responses, it's pretty obvious that you have no idea how things actually work in a university.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:10:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he's not he's answering students questions.. There is no way he would know if that student will ask a question about something they missed. Sure he could say no come on time. Then that student goes to the head of the department, bitches, and unnecessary shit storm. He's better off just answering.
You have clearly never attended university. That is not how it works. If a prof said that, and the student complained that the prof wasn't answering questions they would be fired.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:30:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what happened quite often at my university, both to myself when I was late and to other students who were late.
For clarification, I meant a late student asking what was said before they showed up and being told that they missed the first part of the lecture and could come by the office after class. It always ended with the professor saying something like that, then moving on with nothing bad happening to student or professor.
If you were to take that to the Dean, that professor would have to prove that you or w/e student was late. At this point it's you as a student paying 1000s of dollars saying he is not answering questions. Here in canada that shit does not slide.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:44:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, yes, I could have technically filed a report and complained to the dean that the professor wasn't answering my questions, but I'm going to guess that, if it ever came to requiring witnesses, a bunch of students or assistants would basically tell the dean "Mr. Dyetalian's questions weren't answered but he showed up 30 minutes into the lecture and stopped it to ask what he missed and the professor said he/she would tell them after class."
Then I'd promptly be told to just visit the professor after class and stop wasting everyone's time, if the dean is the reasonable sort. But I'm not some kind of jerk who's going to demand everything stop for my convenience, even if I'm paying for it.
Merwana ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:01:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know you, but you come off as an entitled cunt.
If you took that to the Dean, they would instigate their existing complaint protocol, all the while bitching behind your back about how you're wasting their time with your entitled bullshit.
If I pay for university I am entitled to have my questions answered.
No. That's not correct. You're not entitled to ask any number of questions, the professor is not required to answer them.
The professor is required to teach a class that meets academic standards, and to maintain classroom order for all students. The professor is required to be reasonable available outside class time to answer student questions through office hours. Your payment does not entitle you to unlimited access to them, anymore than buying a restaurant meal entitles you to be the sole object of your server's attention.
I don't know where you get this sense but you are flat out wrong, and your complaint would not only not get a professor fired, it would go on to be a story they would tell at your expense at department meetings for years. You are not a special snowflake. You paid for a class which you opted not to attend; that is on you and the professor has zero obligation to make up for your laziness.
Believe it or not, it actually does. At least when you're paying 1000s of dollars. Profs are required to answer academic questions. Hate to break it to you.
It's hilarious that you actually seem to believe you're right here. No professor has ever been fired for failing to answer an absent student's question.
You paid "1000s of dollars" for the right to attend the class, to receive instruction to academic norms, and to have your work fairly graded. That's it.
Lol that could not be further from the truth. I'm currently finishing my PhD and have two post-secondary degrees. I have not only attended, but taught at a major land grant university. Even as a graduate assistant I would not have hesitated to say that.
That is not how it works.
Yes it is.
If a prof said that, and the student complained that the prof wasn't answering questions they would be fired.
Firing a tenured professor is extremely difficult. Furthermore a professor represents a major investment by the university. They're not going to get fired because a student complained. Students complain all the time.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:23:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong. The student doesn't run the class, the teacher does. Get there on time in order to get all the info.
Now, if late student decides to stick around for an extra twenty minutes at the end, and the professor is kind enough to go back over what was missed, different story.
K, it's not about "running the class". The professor has a choice. To ignore his questions or to answer them. HE IS PAID TO ANSWER STUDENTS QUESTIONS. This has nothing to do about running the class. I highly doubt that this professor spent 20 minutes re-teaching rather then answering the questions in a simple way.
He's not paid to answer students questions, he's paid to teach a subject matter to all his students. Answering questions helps with that, but there's a balance between helping one student out and making sure the rest of the class learns the information they paid to learn.
By your logic I could waste the entire class asking stupid yet relevant questions to the class so the rest of the class doesn't learn anything? I've had professors tell students to see them after class if they want to discuss additional information so they don't get offtrack and keep to their schedule. This is actually really important especially if you have weekly labs or quizzes where you need to know what's being taught during that week.
unautre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, what are you not understanding about one person taking time from the other students? Those other students paid for that time. The late student is stealing time from all the other students. Seriously, stop arguing and making up scenarios to justify your viewpoint. Just take a few minutes to think about how other people could be right and you could be wrong. Think about how you are not a professional educator and how professional educators know more about education than you do.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
unautre ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:05:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not at all. You're getting triggered by my opinion. Seems like you're the one whose made. Kek.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me put it this way... If you're at the cinema watching a film but then someone shows up twenty minutes late, do you think it is reasonable for late person to expect that the film be stopped and played all over again from the start? Of course not. If the cinema then complied, wouldn't that be unfair to the other patrons who did get there on time?
Just because Mr Late bought a ticket doesn't mean that the cinema now owes them the first twenty minutes.
But that hasn't happened here. By your logic if I didn't understand the first 20 min of class and asking questions for him to re-explain I shouldn't be allowed to that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not smart, and you need to know when to shut the fuck up.
Why are you so angry? You don't know me, my level of education, what I do, or anything? Because my opinion is being bashed for being different. That makes me stupid and I should stop using a website? Who do you think you are to make those assumptions and tell me what to do?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:00:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not smart. You need to take an honest look at yourself because you come off as a complete fucking idiot
Oh man someone on reddit is insulting my intellect. What ever will I do?! Oh gee golly!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now you've changed the premise.
Not understanding something is one thing, but expecting the world to stop (to the detriment of others) because you were late is what we're all actually talking about.
This individual doesn't understand the material. It's the same as a student not understanding because they were there just as he didn't understand for not being there. Your premise is a bad one as it doesn't involve a person i.e. a professor acting the movie. A movie theater only has on job and it's to play the movie from start to end, you can ask to have it played from the start, the answer will be no. Regardless my situation is still the same, time is being stopped to "re-teach" but it's okay because I was there and not late? Time stopped is time stopped.
If the student is not making it worth his/her time to be there for all of the lecture when the answers are initially presented (and the other students are), why is it worth the professor's time to answer his/her questions?
It isn't, you're right. But when that professor sees him/her raise their hand and hears their question. You have a choice A) Answer it, B) ignore him. Answering it is just you doing your job. Not answering it you come off as a dick, could possibly get complaints, etc.
As a university professor, I would tell the student to get with a classmate to see what he had missed and to start getting to class on time.
[deleted] ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 18:46:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find it even easier to tell the student too bad he missed it.... be on time next class. At university level, if they aren't self responsible then they need to feel the sting of failure.
badabg ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 19:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. More of this. There is WAY too much hand holding at university.
I had one professor that passed me solely because I showed up for his office hours every week. It was a class that I was struggling with badly, had no relation to my degree. Really was trying, it just wasn't clicking. So every week I'd spend an hour in his office correcting all my mistakes and trying to understand the concepts. Even though my test grades SUCKED he still passed me for my "commitment to trying". Not sure if he was just being nice or was afraid to get me as a student again-but I took it!
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:54:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hand holding for irresponsible behavior that should have been learned whereas they tell you "we cant hold your hands" for things no one outside that school would ever encounter.
Had a classmate in college who constantly asked questions that the teacher had answered 5 minutes before. He hadn't even missed that part of class.
One day he and I were chatting and he told me about how he preferred our school to the larger university he'd previously gone to because he could ask questions. Wanted to tell him if he just paid attention he wouldn't have to ask questions.
I really enjoyed my smaller nursing school, I focused better than my larger one, I got better grades and everything was just better there, the feedback from teachers was better too.
Took me another 2 years to learn I have an auditory processing disorder. I wasn't unfocused in my old lecture hall, I just couldn't hear properly! I knew I couldn't understand what was being said at the time, so I had my ears checked repeatedly, where I was told I wasn't physically deaf, so I assumed I must be mentally retarded.
Nope, just hard of hearing in certain circumstances.
Huh, I wonder if he had a similar problem? The school we went to was a small tech school with class sizes similar to a high school. This classmate was probably not stupid. The previous school he'd gone to was a really good school. But also, he and I are still friends on Facebook, he posts a lot of shit from some quack 'luminary' and also how dairy causes sickness and you can't become sick if you don't consume dairy. Also apparently milk is the primary cause of mucus....
I mean, singers agree dairy is a a bad idea before a gig because it will increase mucus. But it sounds like your friend is a few planks short of a dunny.
People with auditory processing disorders tend to have no issues with rationalising information and establishing coherent thought through written media, unless there's an underlying issue (in my case, I have chronic pain related brain fog, so I do have some cognitive issues)
I didn't mean I thought the auditory problem and his other interesting beliefs are related. I was just trying to establish that it might be that, or he might just be an idiot.
Brain fog is clinically validated but it's a symptom not a condition, and it's incredibly varied. It's just a general lack of focus and concentration caused by being in chronic pain or other conditions that sap focus. Various pain patients experience cognitive impairment for different reasons, for some people it's because the pain causes sleep problems and sleep deprivation causes cognitive slowness, for others is the pain itself that's distracting, for others it's because the pain caused chronic fatigue which causes mental fatigue too, and of course, medication can cause brain fog.
It's hard to explain because it is such a normal process. We all have days where we just feel off our game, a bit slow to catch on. The world around us feels muffled or "other worldly", things seem to happen to fast or we feel too slow. Pudding brain, hangover brain, flu brain, These are all totally normal human experiences. But with brain fog, it's like this all the time, every day, to varying degrees at varying times and often unexpectedly and without resolution.
Whether or not it impacts you depends on the severity of other issues and what you need your mind for. I have days where my physical condition is really good, so by comparison I feel really limited by my cognitive process. But other days I'm a mess physically so I don't feel like my mind is holding me back, because my body is holding me back more. I'm just a homemaker so I don't need my mind, but back when I was a nurse, my cognitive issues were debilitating and combined with my physical issues, it's why I had to leave that profession.
[deleted] ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 18:41:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, even if I'm 10 minutes late to a class I will never ask a question because I feel like, what if I was there on time would I have understood it and by asking I'm wasting everyone's time? But yes that is infuriating
I had a discussion section where a fellow student would do this. The teaching assistant would try to be helpful and answer but eventually got so annoyed and shocked to a point where she put her hands on her head and said "I'm going to kill myself"
That would have been a perfect opportunity for the professor to really fuck with him.
Student: "What did I miss?"
Professor: "You missed my in-depth lecture on how the Russians, in 1241, completely invaded Europe, swam across the Atlantic, and utterly decimated the National Rifle Association."
we had a girl that always had questions which was fine but they were clearly already explained. it got to the point where everyone started referring to her as the question girl and the prof, after getting stopped for the 10th time in 15 minutes told her to ask her questions after class.
nicih ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he wanted to catch up. Some who come late only show up to not flunk out
I had a friend who was really smart but also just really lazy and didn't pay too much attention in class. In our AP Physics class, the teacher spent 5 minutes walking us through a rather complex problem and how to solve it, then asked asked us to spend a minute calculating the answer and finally asked my friend what the answer was. He hadn't been paying attention the whole time, so he snapped out of whatever daydream he was in and proceeded to walk through the entire problem, basically repeating everything the teacher said as he figured it out on his own, and finally a few minutes of rambling later came out with the correct answer.
Life hack # 56, if you came late to class and need to catch up, ask your prof the questions after questions until you catch up.
Kir4_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's smart of him though.
scucca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My professor would assign reading of a chapter (say, chapter 1). Then in the next class he would ask "So, any questions about chapter 1? No? Alright, on to chapter 2." Then refuse to answer questions about chapter 1. Usually the only chapter students would not read before class
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always late to my 8am, but I just figure out what's going on with context or do my best to do that. Real dick move there.
LanMarkx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid like that once. After a week or so of it he announced at the beginning of a class that he would start locking the door at 10 after. If you were that late you wouldn't be allowed in class that day.
Late kid was pissed the next day. He wasn't late after that.
I had something similar happen to me this Monday. My computer science professor explicitly said at the beginning of the semester that if he finds you doing something on the computer other than the lesson, he'll kick you out.
So, this girl brings in her own tablet with a keyboard attachment and while he's teaching something that just requires us to listen, she's clacking away on her keyboard. I don't know what the fuck this keyboard was made of, but it's loud as shit. Everyone's looking around their computers to try and see just what the fuck this chick is doing. Me and this dude start exchanging "Can you believe this shit?" glances, and the professor goes on to continue teaching his lesson like nothing's happening.
Finally, she stops her typing and starts asking questions about what he was teaching. He actually fucking answered her. I mean, he had a pissed off tone, but I couldn't believe he didn't kick her out, let alone say anything.
My favorite professors wouldn't allow you in if you were more than 5 minutes late.
gbrincks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than a classmate I had. God bless her, she tried so hard, but she seemed naturally slow. The teacher would spend 15 minutes explaining how a thing worked then ask if anyone had any questions. Nothing. Then the teacher did the thing and she suddenly was all confused and had to ask how the thing worked.
Had a similar guy in my Calc II class. He'd be on his laptop the whole time (what teacher would believe you're taking MATH notes on a computer??) and he'd occasionally look up to ask "how did you get from this step to this step?" And the answer had literally been explained 30 seconds before (เธ'ฬ-'ฬ)เธ
It just sounded so exactly like that guy. He would also randomly interrupt professors and talk about whatever was on his mind. I saw him once outside of class and when we made eye contact and he started to walk over, I literally ran away from him. (I've never done that to anyone else before.)
One of my friends had the misfortune of having to actually take more than one class with him and also work with him, and apparently he never changed. I kind of wonder if he'll actually graduate or if he's so lacking in self-awareness that he'll never notice he's been kicked out of university out of sheer annoyance.
I have a student in my current class who does this all the time, to the point of interrupting me while I'm helping another student who actually shows up to class. Suffice to say he's failing the year. I'm an associate lecturer and never trained as a teacher, so classroom control and things like that are not in my skillset. I'm just there for the practical sessions in case any students have questions. A trained lecturer would probably get pissy with him, and with good reason, but I tend to just make a point of leaving his questions till last. Problem I have is I'm TOO helpful, and tend to help students out by writing example code (I teach programming), which they usually end up just copying verbatim. I eventually ended up putting deliberate errors in the example code so they'd have to fix it themselves. Ultimately they ended up just asking me how to fix the errors. On the plus side I'm super popular as a lecturer and my reviews have been amazing, but on the downside the students probably aren't learning as much as they should be because I'm a pushover. I've been invited back to do it again next year as my reviews are so high, but I don't think my methods are really beneficial to the students, despite how much they like them. I think I'll turn it down. It was a good years experience, so there's that.
I have a student in my current class who does this all the time, to the point of interrupting me while I'm helping another student who actually shows up to class. Suffice to say he's failing the year. I'm an associate lecturer and never trained as a teacher, so classroom control and things like that are not in my skillset. I'm just there for the practical sessions in case any students have questions. A trained lecturer would probably get pissy with him, and with good reason, but I tend to just make a point of leaving his questions till last. Problem I have is I'm TOO helpful, and tend to help students out by writing example code (I teach programming), which they usually end up just copying verbatim. I eventually ended up putting deliberate errors in the example code so they'd have to fix it themselves. Ultimately they ended up just asking me how to fix the errors. On the plus side I'm super popular as a lecturer and my reviews have been amazing, but on the downside the students probably aren't learning as much as they should be because I'm a pushover. I've been invited back to do it again next year as my reviews are so high, but I don't think my methods are really beneficial to the students, despite how much they like them. I think I'll turn it down. It was a good years experience, so there's that.
I have a student in my current class who does this all the time, to the point of interrupting me while I'm helping another student who actually shows up to class. Suffice to say he's failing the year. I'm an associate lecturer and never trained as a teacher, so classroom control and things like that are not in my skillset. I'm just there for the practical sessions in case any students have questions. A trained lecturer would probably get pissy with him, and with good reason, but I tend to just make a point of leaving his questions till last. Problem I have is I'm TOO helpful, and tend to help students out by writing example code (I teach programming), which they usually end up just copying verbatim. I eventually ended up putting deliberate errors in the example code so they'd have to fix it themselves. Ultimately they ended up just asking me how to fix the errors. On the plus side I'm super popular as a lecturer and my reviews have been amazing, but on the downside the students probably aren't learning as much as they should be because I'm a pushover. I've been invited back to do it again next year as my reviews are so high, but I don't think my methods are really beneficial to the students, despite how much they like them. I think I'll turn it down. It was a good years experience, so there's that.
In 7th grade science class during sex ed they were talking about oral sex. Mormon girl in class "wait you can get an STD just from talking about sex?" I wouldn't call the question stupid, just no exposure at all to the topic beforehand.
[deleted] ยท 4599 points ยท Posted at 14:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1835 points ยท Posted at 15:20:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, but to every other kid there it looked like a real mad diss. Good job!
[deleted] ยท 1522 points ยท Posted at 15:56:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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last657 ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 15:57:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel old now since my familiarity with blowjobs predates google
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:09:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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last657 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:16:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because you're from Pawnee, IN? And seriously tho, they had/have babel fish which did some seriously good translation before google translate came along.
last657 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:55:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am from Indiana. Interestingly enough I've lived in the two places that I've seen people argue that Eagleton is based on.
My Purdue five ended in 09. Huge school, but always a chance we ran into each other at some point. Admittedly did a quick look at your post history when you mentioned being from Zionsville or Carmel and I too am a big Morrowind fan. Props.
last657 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose it is possible. Have a wonderful day :)
last657 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I distinctly remember pretending to know what all of the sexual jokes meant in middle school even though I had no idea, because I couldn't just go search the internet for them. I don't honestly recall how I learned what oral sex really was, but it definitely had to do with gleaning information from my peers while pretending to already know what they were talking about.
I mean I'll concede that middle schoolers are ignorant sociopaths, and high schoolers are more mildly educated sociopaths. Really all I'm saying is everyone younger than me is obviously an asshole because fuck'em.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me, highschool paled in comparison to the remorseless cruelty we would inflict on eachother on a daily basis in middleschool. I still think about shit I said to people back then 10 years later. I was particularly rotten but still, I wasn't the only one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you were a weird kid middle school was MUCH worse than high school. Much more emotional scarring from 6th-8th grade than any other time. I felt guiltily satisfied when i learned in 10th grade that my middle school bully was pregnant
Yeah I don't get people that didn't like high school I loved high school and I definitely wasn't the coolest kid around now middle school was a whole different story that shit was hell.
andai ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 16:23:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You felt guilty for accidentally rejecting a guy who was harassing you for a blowjob in the school hallway?
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:46:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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andai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:20:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously this is such a fucked up story
xxruruxx ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:00:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In hindsight, I really see how a lot of adults at school failed me. That dress code bra strap thing is still really creepy to me.
I sprouted boobs early, so I feel like I got sexually harassed in middle school just as much as I did in college.
That wasn't even the worst of it. A kid grabbed my boob in class one time, and it confused the hell out of me. A teacher saw, but I didn't make a scene because I had no idea what was going on so he just pretended not to see. It felt wrong, and I didn't know it was wrong until the kid smirked and said "heh."
That time, I actually did something about it and I kicked the shit out of him after class. You see, if I got caught beating him up, I'd get in trouble for fighting, even if the kid grabbed me. So I had to wait til after school.
I agree, it was really fucked up. Hopefully they've changed some things because that shit can't fly.
I think I like your way of thinking and doing. I would have been to shy to even beat anybody after school. Thanks for sharing your story.. :)
Sory to say that schools and teacher has not improved much. When I listens to my familys kids.
grubas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know it is odd, I went to an all boys High School. If we had girls around during classes I'd have failed out. Strangely that led to witnessing a Priest ask a nun if she really believed in chastity. Apparently our sister school needed nun chaperones for stage crew. A Jesuit hitting on A Sister of perpetual misery. Of course any sane man fears mins.
JagTror ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:08:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a pretty common feeling, at least in my experience. A lot of guys end up calling you a tease, getting angry, or shaming you in some other way when you reject them. I'm glad that education about consent is catching on more now, because I've been made to feel undesirable or guilty for saying no which led to me doing things I felt afraid to turn down.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did I not say harassed. I got the shit beat out of me by multiple girls and many other guys did and we just had to stand there and take it because we were taught to not defend ourselves against girls. I mean like serious beatings I still have a scar from one. The teachers just laughed it off and said it's because they like you.
Ibbot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:52:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently OP didn't know that that was something sexual.
Skilol ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:22:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually haven't thought all about this in so long, but I remember actually feeling really guilty about it for a bit because it seemed like I hurt his feelings.
"Damn, so that's what he wanted! If only I had known!"
atcoyou ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 16:32:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin wasn't sure if he was going to ask her to the prom after the BJ fiasco, but the more he thought about it the more he thought his new beau's exceptional lung capacity could be put too good use. Thinking quickly he sealed the envelope and submitted his bid to the prom planning committee. With his date helping, he would be able to buy dollar store balloons and have her help to blow them up in no time. His date would pay for herself this prom.
You know that time of night when you can't sleep so you relive every embarrassing thing in your life? Some night, maybe even tonight, he'll think about this and comfort himself by believing he's the only one who remembers.
Then he'll decide to kill some time on reddit until he's sleepy again.
Geez, the school I went to also banned tank tops, but at least they enforced it for both genders. In fact, I was told it existed to keep the boys from wearing muscle tops to school! Not sure if it was true or not, but I believed it at the time. There was a kid I had to sit next to in class that wore a muscle shirt once, and being able to see his entire torso through his armhole was not something I wanted to be privy to.
lutel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually this is good story for Southpark
NapClub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
totally agree, sex ed is super important and this is why.
It's ok. When I was working at Superstore in 12th grade, I thought a pallet jack was a handjob for some reason, and I asked my manager for a handjob to move one of the pallets around the back of the store. He took it pretty well, somehow I wasn't fired.
zeonchar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the kid sounds like he was being a dick. He deserved to get rekt.
Well, as most bullies tend to, that kid was most probably taking some sort of anguish or problems at home out on you. Maybe he was hoping to get power or whatever, but he looked scared shitless because you stripped that from him without even knowing you were doing it. This is also most likely why he left you alone afterwards. Bullies go after the easy prey because they [mostly] do it to make themselves feel better, but you showed that you were not, in fact, easy prey. Source: kid who got bullied a lot but learned to let it go, and with that so did many of the bullies.
I remember actually feeling kinda guilty about it for a bit because it seemed like I hurt his feelings.
You think a blowjob would have helped?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Teach acceptable behavior." In middle school? Think about that for a minute.
Firtox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had an opposite experience in high school regarding tank tops, girls were allowed-and wore them all the time-but I wore one to school once and was asked to put something over it.
No - and I say this as a certified health teacher - that's why PARENTS should teach sex ed and acceptable behavior to kids.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for your students if that's your outlook.
It's both, but it's required by law in schools for a reason.
I really disagree with teachers normalizing sexual harassment at school. As long as it happens at school, the adults there have a duty of care to the students.
The parents aren't going to know if their kid is engaging in predatory behavior at school if the teachers are encouraging it, saying "the parents should teach him better" and not telling them. No, you gotta tell the kid it's not okay, and report to the parents it happens at school. "Problem" kids act differently at home than at school.
Perhaps I didn't communicate that well. No, forget perhaps, I blew it. Apparently spent too many of my mental cycles earlier today.
I'm sick and tired of society saying "the schools should teach this, the schools should teach that' INSTEAD of just raising their kids to be decent people so the schools can focus on teaching academic subjects like they're supposed to do, and are good at.
I can't teach your kids morals because they are MY morals, and if I even TRY to teach them to your kid, somebody is going to bitch to high heaven about it. Kids come in with no idea how to treat people, no idea how to respond to someone who tells them "no" and actually means it. No idea that rules actually mean something for them personally, that their actions have consequences and that those consequences are real and cannot be changed by deciding to do the right thing long AFTER the consequences have been enforced. And while kids are notorious for having poor conflict resolution skills, we are getting worse and worse at it (give them back recess damn it, so they can learn how to interact).
I really don't think we have a schools problem, I think we have a parenting problem. And that parenting problem, in turn, is largely trackable to an inequality problem. Attention, passion and energy are finite resources, and when you're working 80 hours a week during the hours when your kid is out of school, and still can't pay the rent, have no health insurance, no benefits, no vacation, you're schedule for Sunday is written Saturday afternoon, .... it's awfully hard to stick to your guns when your kid whines (as kids will do - it's part of human development). As a result, the kids learn that whining works, that rules are not actually meant for them, and that they will be handed everything without having to actually DO any work themselves because it's easier for mom or dad or auntie or gramma to just do it than to make the kid learn to handle things properly themselves. It's NOT the caregiver's fault much of the time, it's the result of a crappy situation taking mental and emotional resources that need to go into parenting and putting them into crappy-assed jobs.
TL/DR: crappy situations make crappy parents make crappy kids make people say schools should do more when, in fact, we just can't. And we shouldn't have to.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, forget perhaps, I blew it
:^ ) you too?
I agree that educators are often wrongfully blamed for some problems that they have no control over (And if you believe that educators should go above and beyond their job duties, then you should also believe that schools deserve far more funding). Anyways.
None of that really applied at my school though. Everyone was upper middle class, so the parents would have been responsive if they were at least informed that their kid was being a predator. It was the kind of public school that donations were an expectation for, and Christmas time was a time for attempted bribery.
I wrote this in a separate comment, but some kid grabbed my boob in class and the teacher pretended not to see. That's the kind of shit I'm talking about, where the teachers need to intervene and teach the kid that shit don't fly. Or teachers that literally tug on girls' bra straps for a dress code thing. Perhaps it was a different time, (it was after all, pre-social justice era), but I feel extremely let down by the adults in my life at the time. This wasn't meant to be a statement on educators in general, I know my experience is just with a select few assholes. But I do think that a comprehensive program for sex ed is so important, and that teachers shouldnt turn a blind eye to early sexual predators.
Tugging on a bra strap, for a different generation, would likely have been seen about the same as tugging on a young man's pants that were too low - as an attempt to correct a child's clothing mishap (forget that the "child" in question is basically an adult physically, is not yours, and is at a developmental stage where basically everything is mortally embarrassing). We get told every year not to touch students at all these days. Kid wants to give you a hug? Gotta turn sideways and make it less personal.
The boob grab? Yeah, that's always been sexual assault, and the district and the teacher in particular are in DEEP shit for letting that fly. Even pre-social justice, you had a decent chance of getting something done through the courts - but what teenager wants to deal with that?
I'm 20 and I got it. You can all rejoice, you're not old!
TheGurw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhhh. I don't feel old. I feel exactly the age I am supposed to be at this junction in my life.
Crimmsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:46 on February 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 16 and still got it, but that might be because I am/was a very weird kid. None of my friends have any clue (nor does my mom, actually, but I put it up to the fact that she grew up in the 60's in Germany)
I'm pretty sure as a kid I thought it just happened after you got married. Like, go to the ceremony, get married, and then you could get pregnant (but if you weren't married you couldn't). Thanks Harvest Moon games! And thank god for proper sex ed.
My mum was told that Jesus made you pregnant after you got married. There was an unmarried pregnant girl in her street and my mum didn't understand why Jesus did that.
dewymeg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I had a heck of a time understanding how your body knew you'd gotten married. I didn't even realize that boys and girls had different bodies until I was eight.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:11:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time when I was like 6 that I lost my shit on my mom while in the car telling her I was gonna call the police for drinking and driving...because she was drinking a soda and driving. Much simpler times.
When I was a kid, I was at a wedding with my parents. After the bride and groomed kissed at the alter, I turned to my dad and said "And now they will have a baby, right?" and he goes "...yep!"
After that, for a long time I thought babies came from the wedding kiss.
Gonzobot ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 16:05:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except when actual fucking adults have spent their entire life being shielded from the truth and now they're responsible for children that they have no clue where they even came from.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:21:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Michamus ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:45:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My philosophy is "Old enough to ask, old enough to know." No need to go into too much detail, just enough to accurately answer the question asked. "Where do babies come from?" is answered with "Girls have a uterus in their tummy that can grow babies. Babies can be made when an egg is in the uterus and a boy puts his penis in the girls vagina, which is connected to the uterus through a small hole. The boy will then ejaculate inside the girl, which produces sperm. When this sperm makes contact with the egg, it becomes fertilized and the girl becomes pregnant. 36-40 weeks later, the mother gives birth to the baby through her vagina."
How babies are made is about the most complex one there is. Usually at this point, they already understand sex, but maybe haven't learned how exactly babies are made. My oldest asked "What's sex" when she was 5 or 6. I simply said "Sex is when a boy puts his penis in a girls vagina. There's other ways of having sex too, but they all involve two people playing with each other's penises or vaginas" I remember this one, because my 4 or 5 year old son then responded "So, like two boys could play with each other's penises? That's gay."
jctheslp ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom broke out an anatomy book and described everything. She drew pictures with colored pencils and everything. She used the proper terms and I was the most educated kid in my class about sex that school year. She's a doctor, by the way, so that helped.
I thought women just got pregnant at random times. Although looking back I'm not sure what my explanation was for people who were not in a relationship not having kids.
I thought you got girls pregnant by them drinking your semon. When I inquired about this in the sex ed class everyone looked at me very weirdly as the teacher explained what actually happened. In my defence it was never explicitly stated that the penis goes into the vagina, like you were supposed to assume that or something.
Anyway that was 4th grade so hopefully everyone there has forgotten about that by now.
You know how you'll just be minding your business one day when out of nowhere to remember that one really fucking embarassing thing you did back when you were like 5 and all the kids laughed at you? That's because one of those kids is currently thinking about it and smiling because their perfect embarassment free life is amazing.
I'm just glad that you had sex ed. I'm only 28 and live in a liberal area and our sex ed was pretty non-existant. IIRC, it was a one day field trip to some sort of museum and then we had the ability to ask questions about sex in health class but of course no one did outside of a few jokers. Sex ed is so vitally important.
4th grade? Pretty sure South Park had an episode making fun of this. I'd hope the other kids looked at you funny because they had no idea what you're talking about not that it was a dumb question. Didn't think it was real, doesn't sex Ed normally take place in middle school?
Nah, they first started sex ed in 4th grade for me too. It was a basic rundown of puberty and 'this is how babies are made'. Then in middle school we got the full rundown of condoms, STDs, etc. during health class, which all included 'drugs are bad m'kay', how to deal with peer pressure, and a lesson on sexual harassment.
jorrylee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recently read an ask Reddit of doctors answering the oddest questions. One couple wasn't able to get pregnant and on questioning, they didn't know the penis had to enter the vagina. As adults. You are not alone!
I was lucky in some ways when it came to sex ed, we had a very funny and blunt teacher. The first day of our "sex ed segment" in health class, she had the song "Let's Talk About Sex" - Salt-N-Pepa https://youtu.be/ydrtF45-y-g playing when we all walked into class.
jmalbo35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend who thought the exact same thing, except he didn't understand that semen and pee were different things, given where they came from. He made it up to middle school thinking that pregnancy came from drinking pee.
I don't remember how old I was, 8 maybe 9?, and I also didn't know what "horny" meant. I went around for like a week, pulling my pants up to my belly button, trying to imitate Steve Urkel and saying "I'm horny!" Not a single person ever corrected me, even the adults who heard me say it over and over again. :/
xxruruxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:06:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, me too. Except I thought it meant angry or pissy like a horned lizard. (idk, they looked angry to me.)
I thought that the phrase "making out" meant sex. So I was horrified when a girl in the lunch line announced that she saw her sister and her boyfriend making out.
It always kind of amazes me how brash some people can be. Like making a scene asking for a blowjob.
I even saw that in high school. Some kid who got held back a grade and was a grade A asshole sat in the bleachers behind me at a basketball game yelling at some girl next to him that he wanted a blow job that night and she should give it to him.
Shitty teacher. We had a nurse tell us (just the boys, sex ed split by gender) that masturbation was massaging the penis to induce a wet dream. Rubbed my dick before going to bed. Did not work.
When I was in 3rd grade or so, my grandma had a bunch of baby dolls and I was looking at them and my cousin told me "if you play with baby dolls too much, you'll have a real baby". I was pretty confused and nervous for a while.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, my buddy once told me about his first time getting oral. His g/f at the time had only seen pictures and she decided to give him one for his birthday (This was Highschool).
She got his pants off and then went down on him and didn't move. Just had him in her mouth. He said he was confused. It wasn't until after they dated that she found out there is movement required and a pic isn't an accurate representation.
They hooked up again a few years later and she gave him a proper bj.
Fourth grade, it was common knowledge amongst my group of friends that a cesarean section was the result of babies conceived via oral sex. First time I heard that I was blown away.
I remember my mom telling me when I was like 5 that men get women pregnant by "hugging them". I knew sperm existed, so I started imagining how sperm must come out through your pores and travel through the little holes in your shirt and clothes and then burrow through the womans clothes to get to her skin, and was like shit i better not hug any girls in kindergarden.
When I was young, I always imagined a blow job like someone trying to blow out candles on a birthday cake, but a dick instead. I didn't discover the appeal until much later.
Had a kid in my sixth grade class who pronounced Jeeves "Jee-Vees." So our teacher asked him how he knew some obscure fact and he bursts out "I ASKED JEEVEES!" It was pretty funny.
warpus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I was a refugee in West Germany for a couple years and in grade 5 or 6 they showed us a fully explicit video of a guy fucking a girl. It wasn't a porn, it was created for the educational market, you could tell by the production values, but yeah, it was pretty explicit. Anyway, we all knew what sex was in that class/school/country.
psilokan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:07:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL grew up in a very rural part of the Philippines. She was also under the impression that kissing = pregnancy, and clear up until she was a young adult. The reasoning was that the movies they saw always showed "true loves first kiss, fade out screen transition, some time passed and now the woman had a baby" - so it seemed like kissing = baby.
xxruruxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was me in 5th grade and that was my exact reasoning. I even got in a heated argument with a friend who informed me that babies came from "sex". I, having no idea what that was, asked the teacher to settle it for us. She told me to ask my parents. I asked my mom and she matter-of-factly replied "Babies come from mommies, duh".
I thought babies came from mixing mens' and women's urine, and that was why it was so important to flush the toilet and why we had separate toilets at school.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*announcement on PA:
Attention all students! Attention all students. One of you left a baby in the toilet. Please come to the office after class to retrieve your toilet baby. Moving on. The canned food drive is tomorrow. Please drop off your cans in the auditorium tomorrow morning, we have a toilet baby that may need your assistance.
When I was a little kid some sort of commercial popped up on TV for an episode about a sex scandal where some woman supposedly had sex over with over 300 men. The camera cut to her saying that she bit off more than she could chew, and from then on until I was told otherwise I thought that sex literally required biting a chunk out of your lover and eating it in order to take their essence and have a baby
Dont feel bad. My best friend in the whole world thought when you sucked a dick, you really sucked a dick.
She sucked on that poor guys unit like she was siphoning gas out of a Buick. Needless to say, it didn't go well, and (shocker!) he never called her again.
And were so old, this was before the internet and we Couldn't Ask Jeeves!
I had to explain what a blow job was to one of my best friends. She knew what oral sex was, had sex ed down okay, but somehow had managed to remain sheltered from any and all slang.
Mackadal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of the opposite. I knew what a blowjob was from a young age from TV, but in grade 7 sex ed I still thought "oral sex" was French kissing. I also knew what a "hooker" was before I knew the word "prostitute".
cary1994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me, I used to think babies are conceived when a man and a woman sleep in the same bed holding hands. Right up until fifth grade.
I grew up in Hong Kong and South Korea, and while I did get some rudimentary sex ed, the teachers would only ever talk/show videos about how the sperm swims toward the egg and fertilizes it. There was no one to teach me about how sperm actually gets inside the vagina, so I just assumed it somehow swims across the bed sheets into the lady parts. That is, until I discovered the wonderful world of internet porn. I was oddly aroused and very confused for a while, until a few months later it finally clicked.
Google has been the #1 search engine for 16 1/2 years now. There are people posting on Reddit right now who weren't born yet when Google became a household name.
I'm 17 and I literally don't remember ever not having google and the internet. I was using PowerPoint when I was in 1st grade. It boggles my mind that a lot of people not too much older than me grew up without those resources.
jorrylee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You never knew the struggle... And then there was dial up. Slow but it was internet! Very few photos on the internet, but that was okay because hard drives were only 100mb in 1993 (in average households). I remember the computer tech coming over and explaining soon we'll get internet that is always on, you never have to dial in! And it'll have its own plug! Great times!
Or worse, when the internet was down or you couldn't find the resources, you had to look in actual books! Made of paper! No search function in those puppies. And that's assuming the library still had copies on the shelves.
Thank god for the digital age. The pre-google world can fuck off.
Yup. Best we could do was use the index in the back of an encyclopedia, if our school had a recent enough copy to include the information we were researching. That's if the subject was even something an encyclopedia would cover! And there were no links to related topics so you could get full context. You had to trace it all back on your own.
I remember in middle school when internet was showing up in school, we had to take turns at the computer, and the information on the web was so limited compared to now.
Wikipedia is trashed a lot, but I've seriously learned so much on random trips down the Wikipedia rabbit hole.
I get nostalgic for the simple times in the past occasionally. I caught the tail end of the times where there were only 5 TV channels which rarely had anything on, and no other form of entertainment at home other than reading, so people were always going out to do something and socialize. Crowds of people just hanging out at the mall because it's better than sitting at home, outdoor basketball courts and tennis courts always in use... now it seems like everyone stays inside.
But then I remember research papers at libraries and having to spend hours finding books with relevant information, and collecting their bibliography information. Not knowing how the hell to get anywhere that you haven't been to before. How I spent more time looking for things to do than actually doing them. Having to drive rented movies back to the store and pay late fees on them.
The 80s were a good time to be a kid, but it would be pretty damn hard to go live like that again after being used to all of the modern conveniences.
It's funny how that works. It seems weird to me that younger people grow up without having any concept of a world without the internet, where you called someone and just hoped they happened to be at home at the time, and where you typed things up on typewriters.
But it seems totally normal that I grew up with video games and the ability to rent movies, and seems so strange that people not much older than me grew up in a world where if you missed seeing a movie in theaters you never got another chance to see it.
I feel like I understand what it was like to live in the 1800s better than I understand what it was like to live in the 60s or 70s. I also wonder what it's like growing up in the modern world of social media... I had so many friends I lost touch with when they went to a different middle school or high school from me... and even a few friends who went to the same school but we stopped being in any of the same classes.
Without seeing each other, we lost touch and stopped being friends. In today's world, we'd be hanging out online playing Xbox Live after school, sharing photos on social media, and even if we stopped being good friends I'd never totally lose touch with them entirely (at least that's how I imagine it).
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:42:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google was founded in 1998. He/she could possibly be 29 or 30 now
Maurno ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The inexorable march of time is the one thing I can never blame people for not grasping. Intuitively, it doesn't seem like the present could possibly be here already.
xxruruxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The blowjob thing was actually a year or two later (my sex ed didn't cover oral sex, for some reason).
It was probably more like ask jeeves or yahoo or something.
I knew about oral sex when boys in my grade would do that motion with their hands and mouth as a joke to each other. It was then I came to know the name of the act my neighbor did to me when I was 5.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Googled"? Crap, we had to use actual books to find this shit out. Luckily, my parents had a copy of "Everything you always wanted to know about sex, but was afraid to ask". I'd sneak it into my bedroom at night to read about all kinds of new and scary stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you punched that kid in the face the next day.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't have to, he was pretty rekt and avoided me like the plague, so that was nice. I don't think we ever talked again. I was in the middle school version of honor classes, so I don't think we even had classes together anymore.
I remember a boy asked me if I was a virgin when I was in like 4th or 5th grade. It sounded like a really lame thing, and I liked to think I was pretty tough, so I scoffed and said no.
To be clear, I was definitely a virgin at that time.
xxruruxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asked me in 4th grade if I've had an orgasm before. I thought he meant, "organism" and I told him yes because I had a cat.
Neatly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"yeah of course. my parents gave me an orgasm on my birthday"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some kid asked me while I was playing cruzing USA at Pizza Hut if I knew what a blow job was, I didn't but told him I did. I then asked my uncle and he told me.
Tesatire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know what 69 was and couldn't understand why everyone was acting really stupid every time someone said it. Once of the guys was forced to show me (through hand illustration) how it worked. I rolled my eyes and told everyone they were acting like children and that if they can't talk about it like adults then they shouldn't be doing it.
In my defense, I was raised in private religious schools and up until that year was also a pretty squeaky clean goody two-shoes.
laxing22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing we made it as far as we did without google.
Zalminen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I Googled it later and that was when I learned what oral sex was.
I'm 25 so I'm not old but I think it's crazy you were able to Google that at that age. We had to have intense conversations with our friends to find shit like that out. Honestly I think it was better that way
Better than what I did. Third grade, some of the boys accused me of blow jobs. Later that night my family is in a crowded Tim Hortons when I choose that moment to ask (loudly, as third graders are wont to) "MOMMY, WHATS A BLOW JOB?" Just like that the packed coffee shop was as silent as a tomb as everyone craned forward to see what my sputtering mother's response would be.
Sadly for them it ended with mom cancelling her order in embarrassment and shuffling my sister and I out the door.
I learned about oral sex in 5th grade, after hearing the song Take a Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed and then relentlessly questioning my mom about what giving head meant.
And for all that, I'm 24 and still don't understand the lyric that caused all the questions.
When the whole Bill Clinton getting his dick sucked thing was all over the tv, my mom asked if I knew what oral sex was and I said, "It's when you kiss with tongues." I was 8. Didn't find out what it was until I was 11.
Remember that South Park where Jarrod wanted to give all the kids AIDS? At first it was funny because he really meant personal assistants. But now it's less funny because there's a good chance he's given some kids actual AIDS
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:20:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tgamm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at the doctor so I tried it just to see if it worked and sure enough it gave me herpes. I know it wasn't that $15 hooker last night because she swore she was clean
B789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP Team America puppets.
jontss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had kids that took the same sex ed classes as me that were convinced if you took blood from one part of your body and put it in another it mixes together and creates AIDS. I have no idea where they got this idea.
Rezzone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you do it in a dark bathroom while looking in the mirror, you get gonasyphaherpalaids.
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS..
shit, a cold sore.
Mpuls37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just imagining the voice actors behind Team America going to the doctor after a few weeks, confused as hell why they all had Herpes, and the doctor being like "Have you said AIDS 10 times quickly recently?"
"Well you see doc, there's this movie we're working on..."
If you're being serious then don't do that, prone masturbation can cause permanent loss of sensitivity.It may make it impossible to finish during sex.
nagol93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:11:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IDK about that. Ive done it that way over 6,000 times, to completion. And its still very sensitive. I can still achieve climax doing it the normal way (It just feels a bit weird at this point).
At what point will the sensitivity drop? Because 6,000 times hasnt done it.
Look, this is the same person who gets off to everything and anything. Claims to enjoy it all. Alllllllllllll
Edit...I went too deep. This dude is crazy
tylerchu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"prone masturbation"? As in masturbating while prone? As in missionary-style humping something? How is that any different than jerking it on your back? Or do you mean frequent masturbation?
If you google just Prone masturbation it should come up, also goes by the name Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome but that's controversial. I used to do it as a young kid and it affected the way I get off.
tylerchu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AFAIK most types of HPV that create warts on the hands or feet are different than the types of HPV that create warts on genitalia. So really unlikely that you'll give yourself genital warts just because you have them on your hands.
I was also fairly sheltered and I thought masturbating meant playing by yourself and I also didn't know it was something girls could do until I was maybe 17 or 18. I literally thought it was only something young boys did.
EDIT: I thought that's what it meant in elementary school, then when I found out the actual definition I still thought it was only physically possible for boys to do it and that only younger boys did it because they didn't know any better. As though it were an accidental occurrence. I did not know people did it on purpose.
It's okay. A girl I dated in high school strongly argued that the clitoris didn't exist because she didn't learn about it in sex ed at her all girls school.
My mom told me that Paul Rubens got arrested for "playing with himself" in a movie theater and for years I assumed he was arrested for playing with GI Joes or something too loudly.
nagol93 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:56:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in college before I knew what a period really was (Im male). I just thought it was like peeing, but with blood. And that it only lasted for a few hours.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:54:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally did not know periods even were a thing until I was 22 and a couple months into a relationship with my current wife.
I had no idea what tampons were. Grew up with no sisters and the topic just never came up once my entire life until my girlfriend was comfortable enough to ask me to buy one and I said "I don't know what that is"
nagol93 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:59:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am the oldest child and my sister is 6 years younger then me. So I left for college before she started. I knew what a tampon was and what it was used for. I just thought you only needed one, and it was over in a hour or so.
In college I thought this girl was weird because it lasted a week for her, and she went through tampons like I go through Mtn Dew.
You mean women are constantly bleeding out of their vagina like 75% of the time? What bleeding rate are we looking at here? Like a teaspoon per day or what? I have so many questions
Some are, yes. I have endometriosis and so my lining in my uterus (the blood stuff that sheds) just keeps growing. Usually I am on a hormone that prevents this, because I was needing yearly surgeries from the damage the endometrium was doing, but a dumbass nurse decided to take me off that hormone due to 'stroke risks' (ignoring that diffusive type endo can kill women).
So, off my awesome hormones that prevent this mess? It's hard to quantify with measurements, as I use different 'methods' to catch it, and it is especially heavy the first couple weeks.
On average, according to measures of tampons, at least 30mls per day (1/8 a cup, or 6 teaspoons). I have woken up, after thinking my period was over, and found a grisly murder scene in my bed. On heavier days, I'd say a 1/4 cup, but it's hard to know.
Part of the problem is, in a healthy woman, the lining builds up over weeks before being shed. It is usually thicker than blood. But in women like me, it is building while being shed. In the middle of my period, it comes out and looks very much like a bleeding wound. E.g., one doctor once accidentally tore my uterus (embedded device) and I thought I had started a period, when I actually was bleeding/hemorrhaging. A healthy woman should not make that sort of mistake! Anyhow, mine comes out more old/clotted/heavy early on, and is harder to measure, but the middle is very much like what a bleeding vagina might appear like.
Ha ha, no prob. I do a lot of work for endometriosis awareness, so I am used to answering a lot of questions about women's health. It's unfortunately quite common, but education is awful so most don't know they have it. I figure informing women and men is the best way to improve diagnosis rates.
And no offense taken. I'm glad I am a woman, and endometriosis is an absolute bitch. Periods in general suck. So I get why someone would never want them!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:36:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did you manage to avoid the womens aisle at every grocery/drug store in the world for 22 years? You weren't curious? how old are you now?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a basement dweller who's mom did all his shopping for him until I turned about 22 and met a girl who then took over mother duties for her. So I never really go shopping beyond going to pick up like one or two things on rare occasions.
And I'm 27 now and know everything there is to know about women's hygiene these days.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was that weird kid in high school who learned and remembered everything about health class. I knew more about women's hygiene than anyone who isnt a doctor or a woman should now.
still do. there are still women out who think they pee from their vaginas.
When I was 16 I argued with my mother because she thought you peed from your vagina. She had three kids mind you. Thankfully my older brother heard our convo and corrected her.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but we didn't share a bathroom and she didn't talk about her periods with her son lol...
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister was older. So between getting her car and borrowing a laptop bag from here I know way too much. Sitting in college pulling out tampons, Midol and chapstick. My female friends just started laughing at me.
But hands wander and biology kicks in regardless of what you're told.
DigNitty ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 15:39:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see how some parents want their kids to believe that. Not my style, but they're the parents. It doesn't work for the same reason DARE didn't. Kids learn marijuana and heroine will kill you. Then they smoke some weed and it's fine so heroine must be similar.
The other big reason DARE didn't work is because it emphasized 'everyone else is doing drugs'. Sure, they went on to say that didn't mean you should too, but the message a lot of kids got from that is omg everyone else is doing drugs.
rd1970 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DARE didn't. Kids learn marijuana and heroine will kill you.
That's a shame to hear. DARE is a good program when it's run by the right people, but I think in some areas it's operated by people who are either incredibly uneducated on the topic or have an agenda.
Where I live it is (or was) run by people who killed their friends drunk driving, recovering heroin addicts, etc. These guys knew what they were talking about and didn't give a shit if kids were smoking weed. If anything, they themselves were probably subjected to drug programs that equated marijuana and heroin.
You didn't pay much attention in dare then. Almost all their shit was based around those ideas. It was run similarly to all the other "just say no" bullshit of the day. They used to always say weed would ruin your life and make you a horrible piece of shit.
rd1970 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:15:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't pay much attention in dare then
..or, you know, I did - and the program was run differently at different times, in different regions, with different volunteers...
The DARE program we were involved with (in Canada, by the way) spent a few minutes explaining what marijuana was, remained essentially neutral on the topic - and that's it. They spent the bulk of their time addressing driving while drunk - which is/was a far greater issue in my region than drug abuse.
Actually, I distinctly remember my DARE classes focusing a lot on gang violence. It was an issue in my area, so policemen would talk to us about gang recruitment and choosing better friends.
Of course there were lessons on drugs, but a lot of it was about addiction as an illness. We talked a little about weed, but the big monster was Crack.
And we did activities on not giving into peer pressure. It was all kind of hokey, but it wasn't just "drugs are bad, mmk?"
I learned from our DARE officer that smoking cigarettes was just as addicting as heroine. Not knowing any better, I believed them, and ended up telling my mom, who smokes. She was pissed that they would compare heroine and cigarettes.
It's also a problem for the people who would prefer to nationalize abstinence only, too. The idea that the people who want the better option might not always be the ones pushing the "national" standard isn't just theoretical anymore, after all.
nagol93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I didn't have sex ed in school. I knew one guy who thought he couldn't get his girlfriend pregnant because he drank enough mountain dew to lower his sperm count.
There will never be a national standard for education because 1. No one would agree as to what the standard would be and 2. Half of congress believes in states rights above all, which in some respect is ok considering that no one would be able to agree on it. Organizing 300M people's will on a single issue is pretty tough.
Vivirmos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm, am in south, didn't even have a sex ed class, yet knew more about sex when i left high school than some others in this thread, the twist here being i was still a virgin
I feel so bad for students who get no to little sex ed. In college I found out that some of my friends thought women peed out of their vaginas. (Side note, that is actually possible, but is a rare congenital abnormality).
I thought my sex ed classes were informative and useful... we had a few in 5th grade talking about puberty, what to expect from periods, different types of pads and tampons and how to use them. In 7th grade we talked about sex, how it works, methods of birth control and how effective they are, where to go if you need birth control, and had an anonymous question and answer section at the end where we wrote our questions and the sex ed instructor answered ... in grade 8 they talked about staying safe at parties, what to do if you think you've been assaulted etc.
I also grew up in BC, Canada, land of liberal hippies though...
My dad employed the sex ed tactic of "if they're old enough to ask about it then they're old enough to learn about it" and thus I began learning about sex at 3 years old when my mom was pregnant again. I remember multiple times giving impromptu sex ed lessons in elementary school because none of the other kids knew anything about it. In hindsight this is also why my dad taught me about sex. He didn't want me learning about it second hand from another 8 year old.
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for your dad!
It must be annoying when a kid starts the rumor of "Johnny said you get pregnant from hugging. Look at Ms.Teacherlady, she hugs people all the time and she got pregnant". Then your kid believes that.
In the 6th grade I got a bladder infection. I thought that because I had touched my vagina earlier and now I had a fever and it burned when I peed, that I had somehow contracted AIDS.
I thought it was because God was punishing me. Living in the bible belt is awful.
"In the real world, some people like to put things inside of them. Like brush handes, dragon dildos, and gelatin eggs. One day you too will know the horrors that the Internet provides for the unprepared."
Oh man have made for some even more awkward teenage years for me. All those hormones raging and no means to release.
mygawd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep and a lot of parents reinforce misinformation because they think it's better to lie to their kids about sex than have them know the scandalous truth
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sex edd
I suspect your school might have failed in multiple areas besides sex ED.
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nope, Sex edd. Like Ed, Edd, and Eddy but with more sex.
I didn't learn until my junior year of HS (which was only 5 years ago mind you) that you can still get pregnant when you're on your period. My anatomy teacher, Ms. Runkle, said it in passing during class and I yelled "WHAT" and she took the time to explain. She liked me despite the fact that I called her Runkletron 3000 every day.
Growing up in California this was not an issue, thankfully.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a time I (and many others) thought you could get an STD from masturbating.
For some reason, only now do I appreciate how awesome it is that you canโt.
(Not right now, donโt worry.)
rwwman50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard you kind of can. IIRC you can give yourself herpes if you finger a girl during an outbreak then jerk off w/o washing your hands. I don't know why anyone would do this but I know somebody who swears that's how they got it since they wouldn't have sex with the girl because she had herpes.
My 6th grade teacher on the first day of health class said that no question was dumb or off limits, the first girl that raised her hand asked what a rainbow party was. It was a very informational class. If it was only up to my parents, I would still know nothing. It somehow just wasn't a thing my parents thought their teenagers needed to know about.
I didn't know females could masturbate until age 17. Ugh.
Warro726 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:46:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grade health class. Had a girl in my class ask if its okay not to have sex with her boyfriend. Apparently he was telling her that if he doesnt have sex he can get backed up and his balls will explode.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:25:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sliding into her panties 101
Cam0201 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought oral sex was kissing until sometime in high school, to be fair
artgo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:08:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before the advent of easily acceisble pornogrpahy, the popular term "blow job" was a topic of discussion with my friends and I in middle school. Everyone had their own interpretation, all wrong. A sill magazine picture doesn't really convey oral sex like video ;)
Living in the most Mormon state, Utah, and not being Mormon is fine. It's normal, kids are nice, the teachers are nice, and they're not overly religious in school.
Sexual education, on the other hand, is a joke. Every single teacher and peer-created skit is all about how abstinence is fucking incredible and is the only choice that is safe for you, your friends, and your family.
Because, apparently, teaching kids how to use birth control and condoms is something that shouldn't happen? /s
Grew up in a town of 98% Mormons (rexburg idaho, look it up I'm serious) where sex was a swear word. Even if you spelled it backward the other kids said that counted as swearing.
Western Idaho is where it's at, man. Eastern Idaho is full of Mormons and potato farms, while the panhandle/Northern Idaho is full of Nazis. There's a reason they call it the Treasure Valley, after all.
This was in 11th grade. Our math teacher had a huge stick up his ass about the dress code, so eventually he decided that we would start class every day by reading the dress code in its entirety out of the student handbook.
Semi-relevant tidbit: My classmate was one of those "effeminate" types who were always surrounded by girl friends (not girlfriends).
After missing the first three days of this due to sickness, classmate finally returns. We start going through the rulebook again, and one of the rules is "Girls will not wear low cut shirts that expose cleavage or make any part of a brassiere visible".
Classmate raised his hand, and was dead serious when he asked, "What is cleavage?"
We all just turned to look at him and there was absolute silence for 3 seconds. Then everyone (except teacher and kid) burst into absolute hysterical laughter. He always claimed he seriously didn't know what cleavage was, and I could believe it considering he was Mormon.
Still, I don't see how you can be surrounded by girls all day and at least not be able to figure out what a low cut shirt would expose.
Reminds me of the time that I was in school and I heard one of my (much older) friend talking about a woman's cleavage, and I piped up and said, "I thought only rocks had cleavage?"
AWarmHug ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:45:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 8 or 9 my friend confided in me that she'd found something shocking in her dad's chest of drawers... a condom.
I didn't know what a condom was but she didn't seem to catch on so I must have made the right sort of shocked face. Probably because I was getting mixed up with 'Concord' and was amazed at how her dad had an entire plane in his chest of drawers.
Typick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in my high school health class who was 17 asked if, "them girls get pregnant when you do 'em in the anal."
Naturae_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is not a dumb question but just a related head-ass moment. In my junior year of high school, my friend and I were able to convince a classmate you were able to impregnate somebody by just rubbing pinkies with the opposite sex. All I could think is how bad the school system failed them.
Looking back, I feel bad for her. She was by no means a dumb girl. Just a sheltered home experience that did not include sex education. I remember her parents sent her to a different high school after freshman year because they did not like a book we were assigned our sophomore year (do not remember the book).
That's how I feel about these things now too. Mormons are to be pitied. Not stupid or ignorant about most things, but very often unaware of the larger world outside of the Mormon bubble.
During the fervor over Monica Lewinsky, my mom had a student ask her why the president was getting in so much trouble over kissing a woman in the White House. These were sophomores so needless to say many of her classmates started laughing. My mom smoothly said that is probably a good question to ask your parents when you get home and quickly changed the subject.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former Mormon, I can say that we got no sex ed. Still haven't gotten the talk from my parents and I've just moved in with my SO. The closest I got was "if you get pregnant in high school, I'm not paying for an epidural."
The class was just sort of stunned. No bursts of laughter like you'd expect from asshole middle schoolers, just hushed whispers of shock (the whispers were filled with asshole comments, but middle schoolers). I remember one of my best friends telling me she was in his homeroom and the teacher was going to put on a movie one day but she said she couldn't watch cause it was PG (she could only watch G at 11 or 12 years old). The teacher had her work on an assignment in the hall
Seems like to her a STD is just a language parasite. The Mormons played her like a fiddle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, 7th grade is like 12? I guess she knew the term 'aural exam' and extrapolated.
Badoor11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't that bad, some schools have oral assessments
novacham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a female student in my class ask if a baby would know which hole to come out of if she had anal sex.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who was raised Mormon.... sounds about right. The amount of sheltered that mormon kids are is insane. I didn't know what the word penis meant until I was like 14.
My dad also told me that only people who had premarital sex got STD's and so I would never have to get tested (we were in a movie theater and one of the pre-movie ads was a PSA about getting tested for HIV).
I was raising money for an AIDS walk in high school, and there was a woman in my neighborhood who said they didn't want to donate or talk to me about that because they didn't want to get AIDS. Leading me to two conclusions: 1) She thought everyone raising money for AIDS had AIDS and 2) She thought AIDS was an airborne illness.
So... sometimes people make it a long time still having no idea how STD's work.
Also, just another weird thing that happened that day.. I had a man agree to donate, then added "it's a real shame that AIDS doesn't just affect gay people, ya know?" Uhhhhhhhhhh no, that's a horrible thing to say, but please still give me your money?
Yes, talking about sex leads to sex which leads to STDs and pregnancies. The only option is to pretend sex doesn't exist. -- A lot of supposed adults
zappy487 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, you can get hearing AIDS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mormon and we are definitely exposed to the topic the same time as everyone else. This girl is the exception.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school health class in Mississippi was a blast. It was supposed to be "abstinence only," but my teacher went rogue and allowed us to leave anonymous questions in a jar that he would answer in class.
Some gems:
"Is Coca-Cola a spermicide?"
"How does the baby not get burned by the mom's stomach acid?"
"Is it romantic to give my girlfriend some money after sex?" (Our teacher stressed courtship and being a gentleman.)
"Can jizz give you lung cancer?"
Then, the sad question: "Is it a crime if my boyfriend forces me to give him oral?" I was in tenth grade and that broke my heart.
The topic of oral sex never came up in any of my health/phys ed/sex talk classes and we didn't talk about anything sex ed at home. I did not know about oral sex until college when someone made a joke I didn't understand. I was naive, it happened a lot, and someone inevitably ended up explaining pretty much anything that wasn't covered in a Catholic school sex ed class to me after a joke I didn't understand. My first term of college was horrifying and enlightening.
Actually, isn't that the point of Sex Ed? To ask those questions that are "stupid" in a safe and educational environment? Good on her for having the courage to ask a question.
In middle school health class someone asked the nurse what oral sex was. Her reply was "I don't know. Talking about it. Ask your parents."
I believed that for like a year. This was in the Bible Belt in the late 90s.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FYI the mormons are a cult. We had suicide pacts in our temples where we covenant to kill our selves if we ever revealed the free mason tokens learned in the endowment process. The punishments were taken out in 1990, because people were nervous about mimicking slitting her throat, chest and belly. Now we just summit up at the end that we would sacrifice our lives to the church if necessary.
Edit full: also if you don't pay 10% of your tithes you were not worthy to enter the temple and if you cannot enter the temple you cannot be sealed toyour family in heaven therefore you cannot be with your family in heaven and less you pay 10% of your income to the church. I would like to add the churches finances have been kept secret and are not a public record with the exception of branches in the UK which of been forced to reveal some of their assets
ok2nvme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, as a Mormon girl, she'll never be permitted to perform or receive oral sex, anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In her defense sex Ed in America is super vague about the details of sex. Mostly they'll go over what kind of diseases and how the many ways you can contract them. My gf use to think that having too much anal sex gave you AIDS
I remember when I was about 12 we had a question amnesty sex ed class where we wrote anonymous questions on paper and put them in a pit for the teacher to read and answer. Mine was "what happens if it goes in the wrong hole?". I saw her take it out and mouth the question before screwing it up and saying something about some people not taking things seriously. I genuinely wanted to know though. I mean, what's to stop it happening?? And then you might get poop on you and its all so gross!
Honestly i only felt that the invigoration enchantment was worth it. As an alchemy build i found euphoria from B&W to be much more beneficial in regards to attack power and DPS
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:57:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember being extremely young maybe 3 or 4. I'm sitting there pointing at a full moon telling my mom that I wanted to travel to the earth one day...
One of my first memories actually. I miss being little.
pxan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilers...
akjoltoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect response. It practically even clarified my confusion at the completely ass backwards logic in the comment.
Kikirudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor kid must've responded "I'm an astronaut!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I asked anyways. If was dumb just played off like making a joke. Often it would just derail the lesson and piss off the teachers pets so would be worth it.
Yeah, I mostly did it with easy subjects people understood. There are not many times to make a joke during math, art or sex ed is easier. A lot of times even the teacher like the added levity cause people would wake up a bit. I got good grades in school so could not have been that bad, ,. .
But it would annoy the hell out of people who wanted everything to be rigid and plain, you know a few everyone does.
Wow, you need to relax a bit. Teachers pets to be are the ones always kissing ass and doing favors to make themselves look good. Has nothing to do with education but personality. Don't know what kind of behavior you consider a teachers pet to have. ..
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:14:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, this was like high school. Nobody was hurt by 5 minutes wasted every once in awhile in a 50 min class 5 days a week. And yes, to me teachers pets are the smug ones, the brown-nosers. Just being helpful in class is different than being sappy and overboard to me. So yeah smug and rude bout it, more so acting entitled is best def. for me. The studious are neerdy/geeky, sports are jocks etc. I guess everyone has their own definitions for the clicks in their schools.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, there's a difference between people that want to learn and a teacher's pet. Based on your response, you were probably the little weasel that brought your teacher an apple every day and raised their hand at every question and got mad when you didn't get picked.
I'm the total opposite, but I respect the kids who are like that unless they do it to feel superior or try to manipulate the teacher into giving them higher grades. You can be a good person without acting smug about it.
i asked something along these lines in 3rd grade and it involved a scenario with a giant in space grabbing earth and what would happen. I think i was trying to ask a question about atmosphere and gravity but didnt have the vocabulary or proper lessons yet. Safe to say a few of my classmates looked at me weird
Yesterday I walked into some class high as hell and 10 mins late. The profesor wasn't in the classroom so I went up to a friend and asked him if the prof hadn't arrived. He just laughed along with some other guys, so I just said "aight" and seated down.
That's when I noticed the profesor standing in front of the board, with the proyector on and mid presentation.
Damn it was fkin trippy. I suspect he knew I was high because he kept directing questions to me and trying to like get me to trip or something. Anyways fun shit xD
I think I get it. Kid probably pictured astronauts standing on the moon like someone cartoonishly standing on top of a big rock. When you look at the Earth, you have to not only realize how small we are (something kids have a hard time concieving of) and have the gestalt for its atmosphere (you don't stand "on top of" the Earth, you really sort of stand inside it to a certain extent).
Edit: hopefully this was someone under the age of, like, 8. Beyond that, well...
The kid had the same problem I did as a 1st grader. I saw the planets and ours is blue, my front yard is green, the roads are black, and in my young mind I didn't know how large the ocean was since it seemed like something so rare that I'd never seen it.
So In my mind If I was in space I'd have to fly into the planet to get to my home. One day another student took a dodge ball and asked the teacher how a space ship gets into our planet if it leaves. I also thought you had to go INTO the ball.
I was a dumb kid but this isn't one of the things I thought was dumb.
Edit: Turns out this story is about an 8th grader.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:49:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It goes beyond that, though.
He mentioned astronauts. Did he not know that he was looking at a picture of the Earth, where billions of non-astronauts live?
And if didn't realize that was Earth... does that mean he thinks we've actually sent astronauts to other planets?
I think the simplest explanation is that (A) he didn't visually recognize Earth, for whatever reason, and thought he was looking at a gas giant or something, for whatever reason (maybe there were lots of clouds in the picture) and (B) he thought that astronauts either had landed, or were planning to land, on most kinds of planets in the solar system, including gas giants.
I once projected a picture of the Earth onto the front white board. A student asked, "How do astronauts stand on a planet like that?"
It's because the kid doesn't have a concept of scale. He see's a picture of the earth and it's round. He's probably tried to stand on a ball before (soccer or basketball) and has fallen off. So he assumes anyone trying to stand on a big round object is going to fall off. He doesn't realize the massive scale of the ball, and that when that round surface is so large, and you're just a tiny speck on it, it doesn't look round to you anymore it looks flat. Thus he wonders "How could an astronaut stand on that?" A question that seems silly to an adult, but is actually great communication from a child trying to connect life experience to what they're learning.
I try to think of reasonable explanations for the comments in this thread so I feel a little better about inhabiting the planet with these people. The only one I have for this is that he is a little confused about the way gravity works and means how do the astronauts stay grounded and not float away. Ya... not any better actually
Krail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see someone in a shitty education system getting to 8th grade without fulling comprehending the whole "Earth is round" thing.
Of course you can't, because the round earth theory makes no sense. Now if the earth was flat, which it is, it would be easy to comprehend how one stands on it.
Our modern school systems are just trying to confuse kids and make more sheeple. Bravo to this one student calling it out the way it is.
That's your problem, not the child's. How many people have seen the planet at least from high altitude, or from space? How old does a child in a "developed" country need to be, to have been guaranteed to see a picture of the Earth in context? (And please note there are children who might be in poverty, who have no books at home, and who may have no transportation to, and be too young to go alone to, a library.)
[deleted] ยท 1150 points ยท Posted at 14:45:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother will fight you until the end of time because she believes that if you dig down, through the earth, through the core, you'll end up in outer space.
Why, to spread the dumb seed of humanity across the solar system? thanks, but no thanks, it's stories like these that confirms my belief we should stay exactly where the fuck we are forever.
This is so stupid I can't even understand why you would ask that. I don't even understand the question. Just wat
Linearts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:42:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the kid didn't recognize that it was a picture of the earth, and was confused because he thought they had sent astronauts onto some green/blue alien planet.
woohoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes him smart
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:18:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't understand gravity, I assume he thought they'd just fall off.
It's not really that stupid, if no one had ever explained the concept to him.
Marique ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:29:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Astronauts are those with the capability to leave the planet. He's asking why anyone with the capability to leave would choose to remain on such a planet like this. A pretty cynical view for a student, if you ask me. Maybe some of those astronauts believe in a brighter tomorrow?
An0therB ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:11:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, that's an interesting yet probably overly optimistic take.
emzieees ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher spent weeks prepping our class to visit a college campus and learn about earthquakes. She drilled us about tectonic plates, types of collisions, fault lines around us, everything. She wanted us to look smart for the people presenting.
We get there, they do their presentation, and my friend raises her hand and goes, "How come the astronauts don't hit the plates?"
Everyone looked around, confused, and she clarified, "like when they fly to the moon, how do they avoid them?"
She thought the tectonic plates were in the sky. My teacher was pissed.
"The same way we all do, since that's our planet from really far away. It's like a bowling ball on a trampoline. If you put a marble near the bowling ball, it's always going to move toward the bowling ball."
Doesn't seem like a weird question to me, just an opportunity to explain why things don't fall off giant spheres.
That plus... even if you didn't recognize it as Earth, what about looking at an Earth-like planet would make you think it's... difficult to stand on? Like did he think it was a sideways, 3' wide planet?
I like this. It's not intuitive for us to all know what Earth looks like, it's something we know because we've been educated to the fact. But kudos on that kid for asking. How many other kids were just silent? Someone's gotta ask the "stupid" questions to shore up the knowledge and get us all on the same page.
clarret ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
clarret ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:16:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ahahahahahahahaha. you transparent stupid fuck. acting cold doesn't hide your anger, it pronounces it to the world. get utterly demolished by an intellect far greater than your own.
clarret ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(cute that you keep downvoting me, betraying your emotional state :P)
oh was it not obvious? i was talking about my intellect being greater than yours, and thus demolishing you. i thought that was pretty damn clear but sometimes people have trouble understanding simple words when they are idiots. its cool girl
I'm guessing the student may have meant "How do astronauts orient themselves in relation to the Earth?". Technically, the Earth is still "down" but I don't image they feel like they are floating on their stomachs when they face it (or maybe they do!), and then, do they "orient" themselves North to South and feel "upside down" if they turn the other way?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what he was actually trying to ask. Whatever it was, I think that student just has a problem saying the words that describe what they're thinking.
Google earth then physics. Most likely a younger kid. His/Her parents don't care about educating their children outside of school so most likely they have never seen a picture of earth.
mudra311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't even sound like an ignorantly stupid question. Just someone who misfired a neuron somewhere, or they were having a stroke.
Is questioning how gravity works anywhere near as dumb as this implies?
Seriously, science doesn't have a pat answer to this question. We accept gravity because it works almost all the time, not because we have a good explanation for it.
As for the fact that it's a picture of Earth, you know we also accept that with very little personal proof, too?
dmr83457 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were gas giants and not being able to walk on them being discussed around the same time by chance?
eperker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was very young that there was some news show where the set looked like the planet Earth from space. The hosts sat on chairs that looked like they were sitting on the Earth. I thought it was a place you could go. I totally understand where that shit-for-brains was coming from. That kid is going places! (Maybe not above the Earth, though.)
A few weeks ago I was looking at google sky on google earth with my three year old. I spent several minutes trying to find pictures of our galaxy before it occurred to me that we don't have any pictures of our galaxy... from outside our galaxy.
they tried and failed due to random happenstance (the briefcase was moved to the other side of a heavy oak table support) and then the conspirators were executed. nobody tried again.
They actually tried many times. They gave up both because Hitler was frustratingly difficult to kill and because their spies found out that having Hitler alive was worse for the German war effort than having Hitler dead would be.
Rahbek23 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last point being potentially. It could also have made the german high command essentially wreck themselves by infighting, there were a lot of ambitious individuals around and then of course people believing the war was a bad idea. But I guess it was judged that there was a higher chance of more competent people taking over.
Agree I, bet kid's the grammar in the way got. The question also stabs at a very important question: How did Hitler get the support of the German people? I hope the teacher got into his question, rather than just laughing.
coole106 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough, there were plans by the British to assassinate him relatively late in the war, and they decided not to carry it out. Part of the reason was because Hitler was recognized as a pretty terrible military strategist by this point and they felt like whoever replaced him would probably be more effective. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Foxley
eblax ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 15:20:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler can't have been all that bad, after all he did kill Hitler.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:41:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently Hitler thought so, too
Bekenel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's living in Argentina as a Welshman.
Weave77 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:17:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is actually an answer this.
Towards the latter part of WWII, the Allies had multiple legitimate chances to assassinate Hitler. They didn't take advantage of them, however, because Hitler was doing such a poor job running the war, they were afraid that whomever took over for him would do a better job.
One could wonder how the Allies won if their assassination skills were that poor.
valthys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he meant back then. Like as a kid I wondered why not a single German soldier had the guts to aim at him during one of the parades or speeches and just shoot him. My kid logic thought that would solve everything.. shows you how I thought authority works
I had someone in my class who asked, "so if Hitler was such a bad person, why don't they just kill him?"
Someone did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that's a really good question, just with the wrong tense. There's a huge amount to be learned about the attempts on Hitler's life by Allied spies and why they were unable to kill him.
That could be a good opportunity to introduce Operation Valkyrie.
Zhang5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my highschool we had the most critically-unaware person I've ever met.
Sophomore year we cover European history.
Junior year we cover US history.
In our Junior year class we were discussing WWII. They burst out "Wait, Hitler was in Europe?" completely flabbergasted. The lesson at that point went out the window because everyone was too busy teasing them and asking them where the heck they thought WWII happened.
This one actually has a good answer and isn't as stupid of a question as you think.
The British actually did have a plan to assassinate Hitler, but they decided not to because Hitler's incompetence was winning them the war.
There was also a plot by several high-ranking Nazi Officials to assassinate Hitler, but it failed and all the conspirers were either executed or forced to commit suicide.
Cimroa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
inb4 someone brings out that "fact" that they had a chance to kill Hitler but didn't because he was such a shitty military commander, and they were afraid he'd be replaced by someone competent.
When I was in high school another student asked why Shakespeare couldn't just write in English.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Valid question to me.
freakers ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 14:56:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, sometimes unexpected people are still alive. It's just that so often peoples work only become popular after their time. The guy the Madlebrot set is named after died in 2010.
The guy who invented the Heimlich maneuver died in 2016, Dr. Henry Heimlich. Noted mad doctor that thought the Heimlich maneuver could basically cure any ailment.
There's a line in the song "Mandelbrot Set" by Jonathan Coultan" that goes;
"Mandelbrot's in heaven. Or at least he will be when he's dead. Right now he's still alive and teaching math at Yale."
After Mandelbrot's death he took out the last two sentences but didn't replace them with anything- it's just "Mandelbrot's in heaven." (10 seconds of silence before the next line)
Kiosade ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:23:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually wondering if he changed it. I listened to his songs a bunch in 2008-2009, and still do occasionally, but only through old YouTube videos so I didn't see this update.
brokkoly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also there's a popular theory that Shakespeare was a pen name for multiple writers. Who's to say someone isn't out there discovering shockingly relevant and topical plays written in old England and definitely not a few years ago.
Oh god this reminds me of when I took A level literature and they let the GCSE students come on our trip with us to see a play. When we got there one of them said really excitedly "I wonder if we're going to meet Shakespeare!"
I'm an Editor for a luxury brand. Our Editorial Director is in her 70s (I assume) and is batshit insane. We had a meeting the other day with an agency where she asked if we could contract guest writers. When asked if she had anyone in particular in mind, she shouted "SHAKESPEARE" in a complete deadpan. We all looked at each other and said, yes, we can contract guest writers. To this day I still don't know if she was being serious, and I now seriously wonder how old she truly is.
I heard once about a student in a high school English class. They were reading Romeo and Juliet. One of the students snorts, pushes the play away, and says "Oh my god, this dude totally stole this from Taylor Swift!"
I was in the advanced class in high school and freshman year, a classmate exclaimed, "Shakespeare was a person?!" He thought it was a genre. Related: because he was in the class in middle school I was convinced we were actually the special ed class and they were lying to make us feel better.
dewymeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can actually kind of understand how that might happen if a kid had never heard Shakespeare referred to as William Shakespeare.
It broke my heart when my teacher in 4th grade told me i couldnt write to Tolkien because he was dead. Waaaay pre internet. I cried undermy desk until lunchtime
To be fair, I knew alot about einstein's, shakespeare's, mozart's (etc.) work far before I knew precisely how long ago they lived (relative to other events and stuff, I'm they gave the dates they were alive, and it just didnt click). Granted I never thought they were still alive, but I pretty had to do my own research to get a good idea of when all these people you hear about were alive. I remember thinking einstein was more recent than I assumed. I paid attention in school, I just dont think History classes ever gave a big picture timeline kinda of view of everything/people. At least not in my case.
Working in a bookstore, i had just put out a display of Shakespeare books when an upperclass mom with a Gucci stroller saunters over and asks "is this a new one?"
"Huh?"
"The new Shakespeare? He wrote a new one right? I can't wait. I looooooved Romeo and Julia."
"..."
The she picked up a copy of Titus Andronicus and strolled away.
I wrote a persuasive paper in college English Comp II that William Shakespeare was not the true author of the works accredited to him. Long story short, there is a strong argument that Edward De Vere the 17th Earl of Oxford was the actual playwright.
I know, there is a movie named Anonymous that romanticized the whole thing, however it was based on the question of authorship. I wrote the paper 10 years before the movie. I got 100 too!
William Shakespeare of Stratford did in fact exist; whether he actually wrote all the timeless classics could very well be a myth though! I highly recommend Shakespeare fans to look into the subject. Good day!
Almost every semester, at least one student is confused about why the ancient Greek philosophers talk about gods but not about Jesus. This is after I introduce them as living and dying hundreds of years BC(E). I now understand how they can absent-mindedly make that mistake, but it baffled me the first time.
Back in the day I'd bought a copy of The Prince from Amazon, and there was an option like "Notify me about new titles from the following authors: Niccolรฒ Machiavelli"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
16yo in English asked if Shakespeare was still alive. No. Most of the class refrained from laughing. William Shakespeare's wife was Ann Hathaway. So he is still alive! Nobody refrained from laughter then. What happens when you spend more time on Hollywood than English.
When I was young it never occurred to me that the writers of books I read were alive. For some reason, despite new books coming out, all my authors were dead until proven alive.
I had a fellow classmate once ask our English teacher if Odysseus was "that horse guy"....she honest to goodness thought Odysseus was the Trojan Horse.
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walk in that kid's house there is probably not a single book anywhere.
When I'm with a Year 12 or 13 class, I'm tricked into thinking they're adults until I mention someone like Dustin Hoffman (due to a poetry connection) and they all look at me like I've just made up an alien name. Then I show them his face and a bunch of them go "OH YEAH MR MAGORIUM!".
I did get them to think about watching The Graduate however, so I'll take my small victories.
Ah in the UK, it's Year 12 for 16-17 year olds and Year 13 for 17-18 year olds. They study for their A-Levels, which lead them into Uni or whatever they do after school.
When I was 8, we had an assignment to write to our favorite authors. I picked Dr Seuss at first. I got laughed at because he was dead. So I went with my second choice, Roald Dahl. Again, dead. Now people were laughing at me. I was so upset. So I picked Chris Van Allsburg. Most people picked KA Applegate.
You should teach them how he may not have even been a single person (sort of like Homer). But was a mask (pseudonym) for writers to create contrevercial material. They'd look at him like some literary renegade. That's how my 7th grade teacher did it and it worked really well. Just an idea
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot of reading to be done on the subject. The more I read, the less sure I am. If you haven't dived into this subject I suggest you do. There's a lot to learn, and so so much that will never be known
lfantine ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:13:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. He stopped composing when he started decomposing.
Evning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shakespeare. not Mozart.
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Composing can refer to written works.
[deleted] ยท 318 points ยท Posted at 14:15:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was even more confused because I had just read the Mandlebrot and Heimlicht comment.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:04:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It boggles my mind that your grandma was born in 1950. Mine was born in 1944, and she's on the lower end of age difference between grandchildren and grandparents.
CydeWeys ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:26:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were born in 1948... Y'all are making me feel old.
4ever4 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:43:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. Grandparents were born between 1915 and 1920 and parents in 1943 and 1947...
And I still have one grandma who's 96!
You're old but cool. My parents are around your age and don't know what a reddit is.
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Score!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were born in '68 and '69.
4ever4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok a bit older than me!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I was born in 2000.
4ever4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could still be my kid, I was 25 in 2000! Time fucking flies!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess, but you're barely 40.
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still feels like I'm 22 in my head! HA!
Edit: Thanks for the "barely"!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're from the '70s. You're young! :)
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I keep telling myself! ;)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you're forever 4! ;P
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good one!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is life? :)
4ever4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty good! How about you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, quite well. I'm having a nice Saturday. I hoovered my room, I've been working on my YTPs, I had a nice lunch, and it's just all so relaxing. :)
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice! What's YTP? Are you in the US? I'm in Germany but originally from Canada!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Swedish, born and raised. This is the only place I've ever lived. YTP is YouTube poop. You take different video clips and make something new out of them. One of the most common things to do is to sentence mix. What this means is that you take words, sentences, phrases, or sounds, and edit them together to make the people say wildly different things from the original.
Here is my latest YTP. I think it's a good example of a YTP with lots of effort put into it.
I have two YTPs in the works right now. Well, three, but I haven't worked on the third one in months. I have another video in the works, too, but that's also on ice.
Ich sprache Deutsch, aber ich kann nichts alles verstehe! Es tuts mir leid, eh! ;P
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have not been to Sweden yet. It's on my list ;)
TIL about YTP! I'll check out your video tomorrow since it's midnight and I'm going to bed.
Your German seems better than mine! I took classes for 5 months but I still suck! I've been here for one year so hopefully it'll get better.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:13 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learning languages is a lot easier when you're younger. I had one year of German, and then half a year of German where I didn't do much. But I was a lot worse back then than I am now. I occasionally speak German, just because, and I've got a great hold on grammar. My biggest problem right now is that I don't know many words.
S4VN01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma was born in 1955. My mother was born in 1972. I was born in 1993, and have a little one on the way. My daughter will have a great-great grandma who is 90, and a great grandma who is 61.
My parents were born in 1927 & 1933; all of their parents right around the turn of the century. What's a "great-great-grandma"? Lol ... pretty sure all of mine died at least 100 years ago.
You guys have some really small gaps between generations. I never met a single great grandparent since they all died before I was born. I'm 31 and they were all born in the 1800s.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma was 56 when I was born, and had she been alive, my great-grandma would've been 83.
So there are 18, 21, and 23/24 years between the generations? Wow. If I'm not a virgin at 25, I'll be very surprised! I'm envious.
My dad was 14ish when Einstein died. He didn't realize until he was much older that they had been alive at the same time, and it really bummed him out to think he could have possibly met one of his heroes and just didn't realize it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Grandpa passed away when I was younger, but it always blew my mind that he was born before the sinking of the Titanic. And my Grandma is still living (she's 102!) so it's incredibly to think of all of the famous people she has outlived.
A few days ago I realized that my great great grandparents were the generation to see my country actually become an independent country. I didn't know how to handle that information. Canada is only celebrating it's 150th year now.
It boggles my mind that my dad spent the first 5 years of his life in a Japanese prison camp in WWII since I still feel about 16 years old. I am actually about to turn 50. Balls.
Is it possible he was confusing him with Hawking? Or am I giving him too much credit?
Tera_GX ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:00:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HASN'T 2016 TAKEN ENOUGH LIVES!?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? When?
RIP, Al
Lhonco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's not too bad. I was very surprised to learn that he only died like 60 years ago. I just always assumed he lived in the times of Pythagoras and such. That is considerably farther away from reality.
That actually reminds me of sitting around the dinner table and someone says something to the effect of "He's (my brother) a little Einstein". My mother had no idea what we were talking about, not only had she never heard of Albert Einstein, she'd never even heard the the term Einstein being used in any context before whatsoever. This was ten years ago & she was in her 40's.
Doesn't seem unreasonable if you've only ever heard of Einstein as a vague cultural reference without learning anything about him as a real person. Slightly ignorant but not stupid at all.
I was older than this when I found out Nixon was dead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I played Red Alert 2 when I was younger that had some "realistic" at the time cinematics of Einstein. I legit thought it was real and that he was alive and talking to me. Kids are dumb man
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, of course Einstein's dead. That'd be really weird if I were still alive.
vorin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fylth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I remember correctly it stands for General Certificate of Secondary Education, it's what 15/16 year olds in the UK graduate with at the end of Secondary School (which I guess is analogous to High School in the states?)
Cool cool. Thank you. Yeah high school here is grade 9-12. So age 14-18.
fylth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I see, here mandatory school ends at 16, although many then stay on at school (if their school offers a sixform) or go onto college until 18 to take A levels. Those then lead to university
When I was in pre-school, I was learning about the founding fathers, so naturally I was telling my Dad how cool these guys are. Eventually I asked him if he thinks he can drive me up to see George Washington some day soon. My Dad, logically, says "you know he's dead, right TotalClintonShill?"
I did not know he died and I was inconsolable for a good 30 minutes.
Bearence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took an interpretive reading class as an elective once where it was me and a bunch of pretentious theater majors. One day the prof read a poem by Emerson and this one guy said, "My aunt is Emerson's neighbour! I walk by his house all the time when I visit her!"
The prof didn't even look up from his book as he replied, "That's remarkable considering he's been dead for over a hundred years."
xaelyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flipside: I operated on the assumption that anyone I was reading was dead, and whenever I found out otherwise I was stunned... and also impressed.
This through a Master's degree in philosophy.
Bohnanza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a person in my AP World Geography class have a similar reaction to finding out jesus was dead.
She also, when talking about east europe and west europe, asked "Wait, which way is north?" when looking at a map of europe, with a compass rose in it.
She also asked how do planes fly.
In the same class, not really related to anything, just kind of an outburst.
Sorry, buddy. Never been to any places in that criteria!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair I thought ghandi was alive until two years ago
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young I didn't really have any idea of politics or public figures at all.
I remember seeing Saddam Hussein on the news (the Iraq war was the hot topic of the time) and seeing as Hitler was the only dictator I'd previously heard of (people would mention Hitler, but never the dates or the fact he died a long, long time ago) I naturally assumed they were the same person.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't necessarily think he was alive but I didn't know his lifespan when I was 14 or 15.. That's not that unreasonable.
I mean, at the very least, I would've assumed he was dead but only in the 90's or something, which is recent enough to be possibly still alive (well, at least 6-7 years ago it was) if you dont specifically know
Like, but how would they realize Einstein is dead. Seriously. Everybody knows him, his quotes and pictures are everywhere. I don't know when he died. Not like he was talking about Abraham Lincoln.
This is me with all the folk singers I've gotten into lately. I didn't know John Denver had died until 5 years ago and when I got into Pete Seeger I learned he had passed like, 6 months prior at the time :(
To be fair, I'm a college student(an older than usual one) and I just recently took intro to the visual arts. I just realized the time period in which Picasso was alive. I always had the impression he lived before the 20th century. This probably makes me stupid on a certain level and I'm willing to accept that considering I make it up in other academic areas.
EDIT: And yes I know one of his most famous paintings is about events around the time of World War 2, but I didn't really know jack shit about him, except for his unique art before this.
Uh_I_Say ยท 17834 points ยท Posted at 13:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade ELA, a few chapters into Of Mice And Men:
"What kind of work does George do on the farm?"
"I'm not sure. Probably the same work that everyone else is doing."
"Oh. It must be hard for him to help out, since he's a mouse."
[deleted] ยท 812 points ยท Posted at 15:12:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I think Animaniacs was one of the best shows with Jokes only adults would understand. But they all do it to some degree. It's adults writing the content, you're bound to have jokes geared towards adults even if only by accident in some cases.
I have no idea how Animaniacs got some jokes past the censors. Which makes me wonder about the ones that didn't make it... Freakazoid was another example of that.
That's why "goodnight everyone" was one of their catch phrases. They were always worried that that episode would be the last episode before the censors cut it.
kevintd ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 17:34:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tiny Toons had some great ones, too. I remember one taking place at some sort of "celebrity" event. "Oh, look, Jay Leno's here." Then up walks Jay Leno, carrying his gigantic chin in a wheelbarrow.
Then Roseanne Barr screeched the national anthem from the balcony.
MrWhims ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:11:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My point of view on this matter is only backed up by vague recollection of a documentary I can't find any more, so I may be wrong too, but the documentary was suggesting that when animation was first in the cinema, children were rarely in the audience, so the idea that animation was for children didn't fit.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:09:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Loony Toons were originally made to be shown inbetween movies at the theatre. One ticket got you a feature movie (big stars and budget), one or two "B movies" and a few shorts (cartoons, newsreels, serials like Buck Rodgers, Flash Gordon, Superman, and short comedies like the The Three Stooges) in between the movies. Cartoons that we think of as being for kids were originally made for adults.
Sort of how I finally understood why when Warner's did their celeb charactures the guy who was always paper thin with the mustache was William Holden from Thin Man.
Haven't seen any of those since I was a kid. Going back to see them now, a lot of them aren't all that funny to me anymore. That clip was pretty great though. Just the way Daffy Duck says his lines is hilarious.
thr3tc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We read this book aloud in high school. I, a small guy, grew up on Looney Tunes and mastered Lennie's voice. My best friend, a big fellow, mastered George's. So I read Lennie's parts and he read George's. One of my favorite in-class high school memories.
And that's why Looney Tunes are the best cartoons that ever existed. They had humor that was for all ages, the art style was great, memorable characters, and the music was just perfectly in sync with the animation. I love watching them and finding new jokes that went over my head when I was younger. Now a days most cartoons are just terrible. However there have been a few that shine brighter than most.
dasher11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's another great example of a dumb question in the comments of that video, where one brilliant you tuber wonders how Bugs and Daffy could tunnel through the ocean. "How could they dig a tunnel through water?"
You know, he might have gotten that misconception from Looney Tunes. There was a big abominable snowman guy who would say, "And I will hug him and pet him and pet him and squeeze him and call him George." It was clearly a reference to OMaM, but the student might not have quite understood the context.
Gothyck ยท 1175 points ยท Posted at 15:37:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or maybe he was just trolling. I know I did stuff like that all the time on purpose to get a kick out of it. Or maybe he was just a dumbass.
OnStilts ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 15:41:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm convinced this is it. This cartoon's spoof on OMaM was my own first introduction to the literary classic and I could imagine myself thinking the same thing before actually reading the book.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:45:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea that this reference was hidden away. But you're totally right.
When my kids were small, I would attack them with hugs and kisses and say "and I will hug you and pet you and squeeze you and call you George!" They loved it. Then, one day we were watching old cartoons and they saw that bit. They were AMAZED that the cartoon copied Mommy;-) Fast forward to high school and the joy I took watching them realize the link when reading Of Mice and Men.
Sombrere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those pages are one of two times I had to go back and re-read what happened due to death-based disbelief. The other time was when those bastards took Fred Weasly from us.
My kids do, at leastโwe have all of the DVD & Blu-Ray collections. The day my children argued over whether Sylvester or Wile. E. Coyote was funnier was the day I knew I'd succeeded as a father.
Blaze_fox ยท 2097 points ยท Posted at 14:24:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... close enough.
if i recall, george was repeatedly described as very large and brutally strong... but also liked to PET mice (but ended up killing them when he did)
Uh_I_Say ยท 3328 points ยท Posted at 14:29:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lennie's the big dude, George is the smarter one that takes care of him. This student thought that Lennie was going off to work on a farm and George was the name of the mouse he kept in his pocket.
'The book,' he began, with a click of his pen,
'Concerns the endeavours of mice and of men.
Like novels before it and after, my friend,
It starts at the open, and ends at the end.
'The middle's a muddle of troubles and cares -
Occasions develop and lead to affairs.
Occurrences follow as part of the plot -
Descriptions expound on the fiction a lot.
'The characters grow, but it comes at a price.
I loved with a passion the part with the mice!
A classic,' he finished. The teacher was still.
'You just read the title though, didn't you, Bill?'
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 17:03:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is so cute
Edit; terrible comprehension but cute
I didn't quite get that, so I peeked at the source:
That is so cute
Edit; terrible comprehension but cute
For your edit to appear on a separate line, you can either doublespace or put two spaces after the first line to make it single-spaced. Also, a colon makes more sense there than a semicolon. Cheers!
thr2000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:06:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you were downvoted. I had a hard time understanding the comment as well, and you weren't mean about your suggestions.
idwthis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy's name is /u/SerialAntagonist, so maybe those people who read usernames thought the comment was....antagonizing?
I mean, I don't find it to be, but reddit is a fickle beast.
Maybe he interpreted it correctly and we're all wrong. Maybe every character in the story is a mouse besides Lennie, and he's crafted this entire fictional story to help deal with the crippling loneliness that comes with his disability. None of it is real. It's all happening in Lennie's head. In truth, he's just been sitting in the barn playing with mice the entire time.
Uh_I_Say ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A-, needs more detailed evidence to develop claim.
i made a bit of a mistake (i havent read thebook since school and my memory is shite) but yeah, kinda... slightly understand where hes coming from but only BARELY
Tripanes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He liked to pet soft things. He had mice in his pocket that he would pet, he broke a lady's neck when he want touching her hair, and he imagined a giant talking bunny when George was gonna shoot him
Which is why the giant guy in the old Bugs Bunny cartoons would pet Bugs too hard and squeeze him tight. Plus, when Bugs would escape, the giant would say"Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?"
... Goddamn, I never made that connection. That's genius.
Ruddiver ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:51:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I consider myself a pop culture savant and I totally missed this one. This is like a massive TIL to me. The abominable snowman that pets Bugs Bunny says I am going to name him George.
j3utton ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:21:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Elmyra from Tiny Toons, also influenced by Lenny.
I literally got the reference as I was reading the end of the book in high school (not sure how it took me that long). I nearly cried in class and my childhood was ruined. :(
trollinn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:51:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He likes to pet anything soft, including mice, puppies, bunnies, and eventually the woman's hair. The bunnies were what George told Lennie about; that they were going to have a farm and Lennie could tend to the rabbits. He used it to distract him and calm him down, and at the end so that Lennie's last thoughts were happy ones.
My friend at secondary school had dyslexia, so he had a huge fondness for blindly using spellchecker on any essays he did.
We had an essay due on Of Mice and Men and he let me check through it. I laughed for days when he referred to the main characters on every occasion as 'Lenin and Grog'.
Pretty much ruined Of Mice and Men for me, I can't think of the book or movie without thinking of the main characters as Lenin and Grog.
Not really a teacher, but I'm a Federal Budget Analyst and had to train a new employee who had apparently been working in budgets for 20 years or so, so should have been able to quickly pick things up. She wasn't.....when I finally got her on the right track with our year end financial reports, I told her she was close but her numbers were off, so double check them. She responded with "Well, wouldn't someone else just fix that?" Uh no...that's exactly what you get paid to do, so you need to put the CORRECT numbers in the report so we can publish it. What on earth would we do with almost correct financial reports? The next day she just couldn't figure it out, and I said "you're really close, it's probably just rounding" she said, "Does it matter? How do you know when you should round it up or down?" I said, yes it matters, just use normal rounding rules! She asked what those are....I very slowly said, "...you know....0.5 or higher your round up?" She had never been familiarized with that apparently.
In the end I really felt like I would have been better off teaching a 3rd grader.
SJHillman ยท 2049 points ยท Posted at 15:34:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My degree is in IT, but we were required to take an accounting class. Almost everyone in the class was a business major of some sort, with a good half of them going for accounting specifically. By the second week, it had devolved into basic math lessons because an overwhelming number of students didn't understand the concept of .1 = 10% = 1/10. It sucked for me because the prof was really good and I otherwise enjoyed it, we just lost a lot of time to elementary level math in a college course.
Agreed. I can solve triple integrals in my head, but will pull out a calculator to make sure I get a 15% tip or bill split right.
Edit: Thanks for all the math lessons on calculating 15%. It was mostly just the first example I could think of where I always second guess and check myself with a calculator.
I just double the first digit and move the decimal, that way I only need to do one piece of arithmetic. Also I was just raised to tip 20%, my initial comment was mostly a joke.
2) Pretty sure the federal minimum wage trumps that after tips. So if someone doesn't make minimum wage after accounting for tips, their employer is obligated to pay the difference.
Here are some decent, non-exact, estimating rules of thumb I find easy to remember.
1/10 = 10% = 0.10
1/9 = 11.11% = 0.11111 ~ 11% -> about 20-9, and consequently 1/11 is about 0.09
1/8 = 12.5% = 0.125 ~ 12% -> about 20-8 and consequently 1/12 is about 0.08
1/7 = 14.28% = 0.1428 ~ 14% -> about 7x2 and consequently 1/14 is about 0.07
1/6 = 16.66% =0/16666 ~ 16% -> about 10+6 and consequently 1/16 is about 0.06
1/5 = 20% = 0.20
1/4 = 25% = 0.25
I know the relationships are confusing and coincidental, but you'll remember the approximate numbers most of the time and you can pretty easily determine which is which.
While it's not useful for anything rigorous, but it's very useful for doing things quickly. For instance, if you find out with your boss that your company is considering moving production to Puerto Rico because of special treatment by the local government and because they think it will make it easier to get supplies from Latin America, but if you you read once that shipping might be hampered by Jones Act restrictions which best estimates say effectively add between 7%-15% to most goods on the island, you can quickly determine that you're company is going to pay an extra thousand dollars for somewhere between every $6,000 to $14,0000 you would have spent for a factory on the mainland.
If you know the cost of the materials you're going to be using you can make a case with decent numbers using simple mental math on the fly to determine whether there might be unforeseen impediments. If, after further study you find there likely will be, you can explain your reasoning and encourage your boss to seek a better deal or not move production.
Perfectly fine for estimates, because anyone who prepares proposals and arguments knows that the same data can be used to present a case FOR or AGAINST. It mostly depends on the presentation and other factors, like the mood and direction of the company.
quidam08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My eyes glazed over after 10%. This is why I don't know if I'm bad at math or just hate numbers because I can't read them quickly like I can words.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude..... Seriously? I don't even know what's taught in Calc two. Sometimes I daydream about being smart enough to figure out the rate of a guy walking down a moving escalator. To solve your issue easy: Move the decimal over one place to the left, then add half of that value to it.
Oh I know how to do it in my head. I just don't trust it because I seem to fail at the simple stuff, so I feel the need to double check myself with a calculator every single time.
Honestly I failed Calc 2 twice in college because I couldn't seem to grasp why it was important and what I was really going to use it for. And wtf we were "modeling" with integrals and derivatives. I then got an internship where we actually used electrical engineering and calculus on real problems and that's when it all clicked and things made so much more sense. Got a full time job there after graduation and used calculus a lot until I decided to switch careers and now I'm a professional food blogger and web developer. If I ever need to measure the volume of a baked donut (toroidal surface) in the future, I have it covered!
Move the decimal, thats 10%. Add half of that to it, thats 15%.
$23.44 -> $2.34 (10%)
$2.34/2 = $1.17 (5%)
$2.34 + $1.17 = $3.51 (15%)
Its easier to do 20% imo, because then you just double after moving the decimal. I'm not implying you don't know how to find 15% of a bill, but this is the easiest way i know of and maybe you, or anyone else who makes it this deep in the comments, will find this helpful.
I can't do calculus but I can easily to Quadradic equations, polynomials and trinomials. (Among other algerbraic equations) Yet I still have to ask my customers what 50% off of 3.50 is. (I can't ever find the calculator and the till doesn't do markdowns on it's own.) I can do math if I write it down but it is impossible for me to do it in my head and I suck at simple math (And word problems apparently, they are my biggest weakness in the math world and the only problems I ever got wrong in my college Algerbra 1 and 2 class.)
malfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15%? Just move the dot left once. Call this "tip". Add half of it to itself.
I'm studying CS and a Prof recently drew 5 lines at the blackboard and just said "Let's assume these are eight" because he couldn't be bothered to draw 3 more to illustrate his point.
When I took an astro course I quickly got the sense that it was not what you might call an "exact science", but it really hit home when I saw, written in my textbook, "2 โ 1".
Karranor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the story where half of the students failed to recognize a "9" on the blackboard. (it was the n*p*q<9 guideline of approximation in statistics)
They only figured it out after one student had the courage to ask a minute later. :D
Kanotari ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My calculus class happened to have mostly band kids in it. In music, most kids are taught to count rests (in 4/4 time at least) as 1-2-3-4, 2-2-3-4, 3-2-3-4, etc.. Our class made a boneheaded addition mistake on the board, and our teacher made us count to ten out loud as a class. It went: 1-2-3-4-2-shit.
Ha, that reminds me of when our band atten-hut changed. Formerly, when called to attention, we'd say "Hut! Chh!" and the 'chh' was a snap where we raised our heads. Well the next year, they decided to eliminate the 'chh' and just go to full attention on the Hut. So the call and response for 3/4 of the band went (predictably) like this: "Band! Atten-HUT!" "HUT CHH! SHIT!"
Kanotari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was marching band. We did everything in time except play music.
Venia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've concluded after 3 years of calculus for my CS degree, being able to do calculus actually decreases your ability to do normal arithmetic and counting.
Right? You have to understand operations, but numeracy is out the window. Does your calculator have a pi button and an e button? Those are all the numbers you need. Bonus points if it can operate using i too.
Yeah as a pure math major who lived with an accounting major, it was always me that people threw bullshit arithmetic questions at. I was like, "Bitch, I work with algebraic structures all day. Ask the guy whose major has the word 'counting' in it."
r1243 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
student currently taking HL chemistry (kinda like AP I guess), managed to fail a test the other day because (among other things) I managed to forgot about half of the periodic table and decided that group 15 has got to have 3 electrons in their outermost shells.
more seriously, I'm supposed to start learning calculus in like three weeks or something and I'm missing things so basic it isn't even funny, I blame my teacher in grade 8 who decided I can totally figure things out on my own and tried to put me on a solo accelerated curriculum (spoiler: I just spent the whole year playing games on my school-given iPad instead of learning)
smart_a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physics version of maths is full of shortcuts like using only the first nonzero term of a taylor series and cancelling pi with 3.
Very little counting in calculus, lots of integrals and derivatives though!
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But fortunately you rarely have to count any more
halborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get so busy with multiplication and division that you start to think of addition as "just listing things" and forget that some of those things can be safely combined.
Completely hopeless with anything involving planes or graphs, yet I'm in business and taking comp sci/discrete math courses. I can count, and quite well at that; I just can't do the weird spatial BS that took up so much of my high school calc class.
anon445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many do WE have? Like, one. And that's arguable. If you mean how many are in the solar system... it depends. At least eight. At most somewhere over 700,000. If you insist on including Pluto for sentimental reasons, then no fewer than 13.
Seriously. I'm a senior in engineering and the other day I was shown a basic algebra problem. I could find the derivative or integral way faster than I could solve for x
Math major here, can confirm. I can do integration by parts in my head but I frequently miscount when telling the hostess how many seats we'll need at a restaurant.
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:32 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck if I know, I took my d and moved onto shit like she'll corporations, laundering, and why these things are "bad" but totally legal if you use the right words to avoid taxes.
It's like soveigrn citizens, but for business, but real
espo1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my school they do logs in algebra 2 and limits in pre calc...
I don't use either for my work, but man, calc and stats were some of the most eye-opening classes I took in HS and college.
defiancy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:21:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is especially true in the corporate accounting world. I cant imagine why you would need calculus to locate variances on the balance sheet or analyze ledger data.
A better skill would be a "Where's Waldo Book" where waldo is a numerical variance.
I think this explains a lot about schooling in general. If you can do advanced stuff you'll never use, you'll have no problem doing the basics of your job.
But the one time you do need that high level stuff, and your the only person that remembers it, you'll be given additional duties at no additional pay for your expertise.
Benford's law to check for potentially crooked numbers and compound interest are probably the first two places you might need a logarithm in accounting, I think.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:52:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Natural logarithms (log base e) is used a ton in calculus, and I imagine that's how they found the value of e once upon a time. They're very closely related, but they just don't have that much overlap at lower levels of math.
OK, wow... I know differential equations, I do a lot of calculus based physics, I know exactly where to use e, and somehow I didn't know that's where they derived it from. I was probably told at one point, and promptly forgot and never used it.
I'm not 100 percent if that was the original way they found it but that's the definition I know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, I work in engineering so I've done more than my share of calculus. They're absolutely related, as most maths concepts are, but still not the same thing.
TenNeon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:11:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's forestry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Full calc. Like, calculus eludes the shit out of even today. But as my prof said, a d is a degree so I just moved on.
My dim memory of it does lead me to believe it could be useful for predicting future changes, like costs vs hours when cost is variable as hours grow, etc.
I'm sitting here remembering earning my accounting degree, coming out of it into an IT role, and realizing that my greatest takeaway was the skill of not falling asleep in endless boring meetings. Even for adding and subtracting, I call up a calculator. I know it won't be wrong.
Truth. I slept through most of my courses enough that a prof used the projector to put a live feed of my head on desk on the front of the class while she taught.
No animosity, I knew the material, I just worked full time and slept rarely while in school full time.
yep. thanks the masses of douchebags who had no skills in highschool but choose a major because everyone is just expected to go to college , so they choose a random business degree so they can consider themselves some sort of financial shark. i noticed that so much, people going into majors they had no passion or talent for just because the expectation is that you have to get a college education. so for ones that require hard skills (like math) theyve really gotta weed people out or dumb down the course so much that the degree ends up meaning nothing. in my experience they did the latter more often. my college experience was a complete waste of time due to all my programming courses being dumbed down due to how incompetent alot of the students were because they didnt have any affinity to the subject. it was like every course had to start at a beginner level. biggest waste of money in my entire life.
Current accounting student, calc almost killed me last semester. By percentages I failed both exams hard, but with a curve, I got a C in the course. I am thankful to have survived that train wreck.
This explains why my major is starting to require people take calculus to get into the program. Before it was just precalculus, Survey of College Math (which is harder than it sounds. Goes into probability and advanced algebra), and statistics. Now I'm guessing it's because of people like that.
From a Physics 121 TA I used to know, to all of the pre-meds in his class:
"You're taking this class because nobody wants a doctor who's too dumb to pass Physics 121."
cebrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I did calculus for my IT degree, most of the examples in the textbooks were accounting or financial stuff. I always thought after that, that the accountants used lots of calculus
fizbin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:50 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who spent a few years as a calculus TA (it paid grad. school tuition, ramen, and rent in a sketchy neighborhood, so...), we'd have a saying: "Almost nobody directly fails calculus, but people fail algebra, geometry, or arithmetic while sitting in calc. class all the time."
The idea of using calculus as a proxy for "did all your pre-college math actually stick" makes me a bit sad, but also makes a lot of sense from a practical standpoint.
To be fair. Business calc is a joke. I personally believe all BS in business degrees should require Calc 1 & 2. The grade inflation is ridiculous in business undergrad and business calc is pathetic. If it takes you more then a week to learn the whole course on your own, I personally feel you have no business being in higher education. Most science and B.S majors loathed how easy business classes were till senior year.
Denroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
degrees should require Calc 1 & 2.
Just a little side note for no reason: The US Navy requires all ROTC students to take calc 1 & 2 as well as calc-based physics 1 & 2, regardless of degree path.
It's not for know reason. Business degrees are sadly significantly easier. They're lack of critical thinking and scientific knowledge is pathetic. We get dumbasses thinking their great with their 3.7 financial degrees which is probably a solid 2.7 compared to a science based Econ or physics degree.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proper calc is two semesters. It's a year of schooling. It's supplemented by physics
Vanetia ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:32:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is making me think getting in to accounting may have been viable for me after all. I'm ok with math but drop off past algebra. Apparently, I would have been an accounting genius if these types were my contemporaries.
All you really need to know for accounting is addition and subtraction.
Similar to SJHillman, I took computer programming in college. We had to take a couple business courses so obv I took accounting. After the final exam, I got a private email from the instructor telling me I'm the only one that aced his exam in years. :/
hegz0603 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:18:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accountants work with numbers, so that's where the false conception comes from that they must be "good at math" but accounting is far more rules based, and similar to law than to math. That's why the CPA exam is difficult.
Principles accounting was designed to weed out the idiots. That was the case at my school at least. They made it very difficult and the professor would not bother with you if you did not understand basic math. You also had to take Calculus as a gen ed. Accounting isn't rocket science but the CPA exam isn't easy and they just updated it to make it more difficult to pass.
I work in IT too. My job requires me to understand how the job of the people I write programs for is done. And I contunue to get shocked by unqualified they are in so many basic areas, I have to explain what their job entails so often
mikka1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:18:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This immediately reminded me of a recent experience in one of the rather upscale chain restaurants in NYC area...
TL/DR: A cashier in an upscale restaurant didn't know how to calculate a change from $2 with a purchase amount of $1.72 and called a restaurant manager to help her. How the fk she landed such a job is still a mystery for me.
I came to pick up a take out order which ended up being like $26.72 or so. I had an expiring $25 prepaid gift card I wanted to burn, so I asked a very professionally looking girl in her early 20s at the restaurant desk if she could do a split payment for me. She said "sure", so I handed her $25 card and two $1 bills.
She swiped the card first, entered 25.00 and the screen reflected that the $25 payment went through fine and the amount still due was $1.72. She pressed "Cash" and the terminal asked her how much she got from the customer (I guess to show her the change) and for some reason she specifically tapped "$1.72" and pressed Enter.
So - as expected - the terminal announced that there was no balance due, printed a receipt and showed her that the change should be $0.00.
I silently watched her confused face when she slowly started realizing that something was way off. Honestly for a second I thought to just stop it and say "No change, please", but something inside me really got excited to see what would be next :-)
Long story short - she didn't make it even with her iPhone that she retrieved from her bag. She literally DID NOT KNOW what to do, so she called a manager to help her!!!
A lady in her ~50s came shortly afterwards and it took her some time to realize what the reason for calling her was. When she did it was apparently kind of hard for her to keep serious tone as she slowly, exactly in the way my son's teacher talks to her class of 6-7 year olds, started explaining her a way of calculating a change from $2 if the amount was $1.72. It took her good 2 minutes to show the girl that if she retrieves 8 cents from the box and add them to $1.72 it would be $1.80. If she adds 10c more, it would be $1.90 etc. up to $2.00. When the girl left to pick my order up she apologized that I had to witness this learning moment and told me she had to deal with stuff like this almost daily with her staff lately...
What actually pissed me off is how hard it was for my wife to land even a clerical/csr job in our area due to sometimes crazy qual requirements for many positions. Somehow it doesn't match very well with what I saw that day in that restaurant :-( And I also guess that girl somehow aced through all interviews and at least has a high school degree, so what the fk she was doing in school for 10+ years then!?
Have you ever been a food service cashier? Sometimes you just get major brain farts like this. Working in any position (other than dishes) at a restaurant requires a huge amount of multitasking in a fast paced and often stressful situation. It also doesn't help when we can feel the customer being judgmental.
If you said "my change is 28 cents" then I assure you it would have immediately clicked in her head. I've done similar things before, it's embarrassing but it happens to everyone.
It was a freshman level course at a state school, so there were a lot of people there on a free ride (and not a merit based one). By the time you got to junior level classes, things were much improved.
My freshmen level accounting class was nothing like this. State school is well. The one thing is some people did that thing where a teacher explains something, and some student asks exactly what she just explained
The exact same thing happened to me with my engineering degree in a microeconomics course. People didn't understand how to find the slope of a line given two points on a graph and then how to find a value of a third point on that line.
At a higher level, they probably would. Also, if it was just a couple people, they probably would. However, it was more than half the class struggling with basic math, and a freshman level course so he tried to give them just enough to get through the course. By midterms, things were going better (and some of the worst students had dropped), so it started to progress faster. But those first few weeks were pretty rough.
Ewnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk if this was the problem but at some point, there are times where it's 0.1% and time where it's just 0.1, that's when it's difficult differentiating between percentages.
The main issue was that they had no idea you could convert between fractions, decimals and percentages - it definitely wasn't confusion over the much more understandable .01 vs .01%
ogasbir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in a multi variable calculus class in college, the professor had to stop the class and go over basic arithmetic because she was appalled at how many mistakes the class was making.
My buddy and I went to our required college algebra class together. By week 3 the teacher was having to define new terms to explain concepts to the class. For example:
Teacher: In the slope of this line the run is -3.
Student 1: But how can you run negative?
Class in general: Yeah, that's witchcraft.
Teacher: It just means you subtract 3 from the value of the x coordinate.
Class: You're confusing, you can't run backwards!
Teacher: Well, what would you call the opposite of running?
Student 2: Fleeing!
(My internal monologue: Those aren't antonyms.)
Class: Yeah!
Teacher: OK, in the slope of this line the... flee.. is -3.
There's considerable leeway in what order you take some classes, especially lower level ones. And there weren't entrance exams so much as placement exams. So while the exams may have required them to take remedial math at some point, the lower level accounting courses did not actually require them as prerequisites.
Oh god, I had a very similar experience while at school. Majored in writing so I was taking a business writing course (resumes, memos, business letters, ect.) Everyone else in that class was a business major so at first I thought I was going to be so behind these people...not ONE of them knew how a comma worked, or a semi colon. And the teacher had to take a whole week just for paragraphs.
It was infuriating! And quite scary/dissapointing to think that these people might realistically make more money then me one day.
I had an accounting class and a girl couldn't figure this out. Instead of answering the prof gave her the most disgusted look and told her she should have taken a few math classes before taking an accounting course.
If it were just one or two students, that probably would have happened. However, it was more than half the class struggling with basic math so I think he felt that trying to bring them up to speed - at least enough to get through a 101 level course - was going to be the path of least resistance. By midterms, some of them had dropped out and the rest learned enough that we could start to make up time.
As an engineer who had to take a business stats class for an econ minor, I totally sympathize. Business majors cannot math at all. Basic concepts like the difference between mean and median had to be re-explained almost every week.
Dsiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My degree is in Physics, but I took an It class as an elective. Talking about signal loss, these 3rd year it and comp science majors didn't know how to use indices of logs. When I say logs, I mean just press the log button at the right time in your calculator.
The lecturer and I got along quite well after I expressed my frustration of sitting through general middle school math when I am paying for a 3rd university subject. He agreed and told anyone who didn't understand the math to leave and study up or contact the literacy and numeracy skills department.
The same thing happened when I took a course on grammar for my linguistics minor. The professor spent a good deal of the class teaching basic grammar (definitions of things like adverb, pronoun, progressive, etc.) so that he could get around to the actual lesson. I was one of like five people in a packed classroom that was bored and I'm certain we didn't get to everything in the curriculum because the teacher was too busy reteaching basics.
By the way, 99% of those classmates were education majors. Who were going to teach English. To children.
I listened to two interior designers argue for 20 minutes if 3/4 or 5/8 of an inch was longer. Not like decorators. People who measure space, and use CAD. They argued about how to compare fractions incorrectly, tried figuring out division to turn it into a percentage. Twenty minutes and then they just pulled out a ruler.
I had a business major roommate. The guy seriously asked me if dragons were real. When I said, "No." He replied, "Well I know they're not real NOW."
V1russ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tested out of any prerequisite math classes I would have needed to take for my degree, but my college did require that I take one "college" level math class. Fine whatever. The inly downsides of that class were that the teacher was borrible at explaining things, and all my other classmates forgot anything they learned in prior math classes.
We spent a solid week each on both long division and basic graphing... I was so pissed that I had to pay for that class...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of what happened to my one aunt. She was the owner of a computer store and some guy came in and complained because she was not selling the computers for the same price she payed. Apparently this guy was a business major and he called some kind of business organization and they laughed at him when he explained everything.
I wasn't even going into a degree that delt with math and before I even got to choose my classes, I had to do a placement test that determined the base level of prerequisite classes. That was math, reading comprehension, and writing comprehension. If you felt you knew more, you could 'challenge' the placement by passing the final test for that level, if you passed it bumped you up to the next level. We still had some issues of people not understanding the material, but those students (if it was a persistent problem) were required to spend time at the free tutor lab to help catch them up. Or they could stay behind and fail. You fail the same class twice in a row, you get bumped down a level. This helped prevent the need to 'dumb down' lessons.
Andy0132 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God...
Speaking as somebody who has a math professor as their dad, this would give him a brain hemorrhage.
When taking statistics in college (freshman level, I was a communications major but there were a good deal of business majors in there too), I sat up front on the first day because I'm not very good at math. After that, I moved to the back because we spent the entire week going over mean, median, and mode.
Relaxel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does that sort of thing happen... in germany (where I live, though I'm also half american) you're instantly fucked if you aren't able to do all the math up to grade 13 (though now they shortened it to 12 years here, so they even crammed more in) if you want to get into IT or any business classes.
I walk around a lot between classes and sometimes listen in on other classes. Hadn't really occurred to me until recently how shitty math education in America is. Seen quite a few math classes where the students are struggling to understand algebra 1 stuff. Holy hell thats a middle school class, why are adults (usually in their 30s-40s too for some reason, seems to be a lot older than the average age of students at this school) even in this class, nevermind struggling??
cr1sis77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing happened in a carpentry course I took. A few of us had no issues at all and about half the class had to learn grade 9 math again.
Man...I had a 2nd year business analytics course last year. First part of the course was graphing linear functions and identifying feasible areas on said graph based off inequalities.
I have never seen a group of students have so much trouble with graphing a linear function. Our TA froze for a few seconds when someone asked her how to do this stuff.
Both Calculas & Vectors and Advanced Functions are prerequisites for entrance into any BComm program at my school.
Jesus Christ. As a European it absolutely terrifies me that the general education level in USA is that low, and I hated math. My 12 year old niece was learning that recently. .
gino188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A LOT of students thing that .1 is smaller than 0.09...because...the NINE is bigger than the ONE...they don't realize it is 0.10 vs 0.09
That reminds me of a classmate of mine when I went to school for CAD. You know, COMPUTER Aided Design. She was probably in her late 50's and slowed down the entire class learning how to do things like right-clicking and other basic computer stuff. Nobody had any idea why she was there. The worst part was that the advisor/head of the department had several meetings with her imploring her to drop the classes and at least take basic computer classes first because not only was she holding back the rest of the class, but she was wasting a lot of money since she wasn't able to pass the classes. She took it as an opportunity to try and prove the evil 80's movie teacher wrong and kept at it for way too long. Eventually I moved on to the more advanced classes and didn't have her as a classmate anymore, but I'd still see her come around every once in a while.
Sarstan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:53 on February 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accounting degree holder here. This was the type of stuff that drove me crazy in my general ed classes. I don't get how they made it through high school much less expect to get a college degree without basic math skills.
I do see why a lot of people think a degree means nothing though.
Every time I hear stories about business majors being dumb it takes me a second to clue in. I go to an engineering school so our business majors are usually engineering and business double majors, really smart, driven people.
Can I just go work for accounting with no training? I feel like I'm far ahead of most of the people in that class. That's like 2nd grade stuff. How did these people get through school?
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 16:07:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Federal Budget Analyst
My dad worked for dod his entire career and had tons of stories of employees getting promoted solely because their supervisors hated them, but couldn't fire them. It's almost a part-time job to do the work to get a federal employee fired.
Yep. Easier to just hire contractors to do all the actual work. I've been a DOD contractor my entire career. We dream of landing a government job. No one gets fired from a government job. NO ONE.
Damn, sounds terribly inefficient in the long run.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it really is. It's because supervisors weren't really filling out evaluation forms. As long as the employee had a pulse and showed up often enough to be seen looking like they were working, they'd usually get "Performs as expected" or a 3 out of 5, which was enough to get cost of living, every year. Nice and cushy.
Warpato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:27:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Government employee:
1) Needed to met aa quota.
2) Military experience (and as a vet...theres some stupid service members out there).
3) Knew someone, preferrably related, govt jobs are cushy; folks protect cushy.
4) Hiring Manager had nothing to do with budgeting/thay department and hired just b/c.
5) Nice tits...or nice schlong.
Salvius ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:22:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're feeling charitable, it's possible she was wondering which rounding rule to use. Accounting often uses "banker's rounding" (exactly 0.5 rounds to the even number, whether up or down).
Too many people don't understand this. When I was beginning my career, I was hired with some people who had 5-10 years experience. Oddly in this particular job role the more experienced people were the most useless, but it should have been a red flag that experienced people were going for a entry level and somewhat low skilled job. One person in particular was so incompetent that she was given fake tasks for just about the entire project as well as the next project. Another guy in a senior role was in a similar situation, he was so bad that the new comers would redo all of his work. This was somebody making around 100k or so and people making nearly minimum wage had to do his job for him. The sad thing is that these people are still given respect based on the time they've spent in the industry, as most people don't know the quality of their work, or don't care.
The people in question still somehow have their jobs, some years later.
Not a government job, but my first career related job was before I completed my degree. As I didn't have a degree, I was an "associate engineer". I replaced a woman making 130k+. I made 20k.
I can now see why our federal budget is so hard to balance
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Federal Budget Analyst
Ah, government jobs - where you get a steady mix of bright, underpaid experts and inexplicable hires that simply cannot be fired for a variety of reasons. I'm not GOP or even a conservative, but after hearing hundreds (yes, literally) of these stories over my career, it's why I support shrinking government to the smallest size feasible.
Don't get me wrong, I agree with the idea in theory. But in my experience it's rare that this works out well. The unfortunate reality of shrinking the public service often tends to go like this, you'll try to cut back to the minimum required size, but because of internal politics and the sheer size of the public service you'll still retain some deadwood and there'll be less competent people to do the work. And then the remaining competent people will get really fed up and find jobs elsewhere, often at companies that contract back to the government. So to cover the gaps left by the competant people leaving, the government hires contractors from private industry, sometimes getting the same competant individuals back but now at three times the financial price. And during the tumult, government services/projects slow or get borked up, so in the end the citizens are missing out.
The deadweight doesn't get fired for political reasons. They still won't with the shrinking. You just end up with a smaller government of pure deadweight hiring contractors to do the actual work.
How does a person like that even get a job as a budget analyst in the first place, then manage stay in the career for so long? Isn't there a test or something?
very slowly said, "...you know....0.5 or higher your round up?" She had never been familiarized with that apparently.
I know this probably not what she meant but if you're using bankers rounding, you round to the nearest even integer 3.5 rounds to 4 and 4.5 rounds to 4.
I use software at work which rounds down if something has a 5 in the fifth decimal place instead of up (so 18.64435% turns into 18.6443 instead of 18.6444). It's a pain in the ass and I have no idea why it does that.
Sounds like a case of somebody using floating point numbers when they shouldn't have. Rather than storing the actual number you entered that software is storing a wacky binary approximation that's slightly less than 18.64435. Specifically, it's storing this shit:
Huh. That's weird. Fortunately, since I can demonstrate that it happens every time the same number gets entered, it isn't actually my problem. Thanks for the explanation, though.
pinks1ip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that lady works at my company now. In fact, I think she's been cloned and there are dozens of her at my company.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was she hot enough to be that stupid?
Rintae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh bruv, it's round down from 0.5 or less.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
75% of people working in offices are exactly this person.
I worked with a reporter who had to use a content management system - just basically an interface where you put the headline, the summary, and the copy of the news story you want to publish.
I had to explain it like three times, and she wrote the steps down in a notebook, like "Click on 'enter story' (blue) on page titled CMS Story Edit. Then put headline in. It will only fit the size of the headline that should go on the page."
I had a classmate in highschool who would round digit by digit, I.e. would round 3.47 to 4, by going 3.47-> 3.5 -> 4. Usually quite bright, I don't think they ever thought of the 0.47 part as less than 0.5?
-sweaty- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you guys Civil Service? Because I've encountered this phenomenon known as "promote out". Basically, you can't fire a federal employee without a ton of paperwork and hassle, so instead you get them promoted, usually to another base or dept, to get rid of them. It's a really upsetting and screwed up practice which harms everyone, but I've seen it happen nearly every office I worked or interacted with. :(
It sounds like she was lying about her qualifications or someone else had been doing half the work for her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine has a similar government position in Canada, she recently found out one woman had no idea what she was doing as an accountant. My friend went over some of her recent work several times in disbelief as she was doing "stuff you just can't do in accounting".
My friend even called her up to politely ask her done questions and it was clear she really had no idea what she had been doing, for several years! Somehow her manager had never caught it either...
She probably used different rounding rules. i was taught if, for example say the number is 8.45 you round the 5 up or down depending if the previous digit (4) is odd or even so for example it would be rounded to 8.40 and not 8.50.
There is (to my surprise) no universal rounding rule. In economics it is generally standard to round away from zero while rounding to the nearest even or uneven number is generally preferred if you are only working with positive numbers.
She should totally be aware of the most common rounding rule in economics tho.
I help with students at the local middle school who have the same problem. Now I went to the same elementary and middle school that they are now in and I can see how education has changed and how teachers are now forced to teach kids just doesn't help them.
Example: They (5th-8th graders because of the certain teacher) had to review rounding again, I was forced to go around to each child individually and teach them the way I learned to round and when I was on he very last one the teacher pulled me aside and said "hey I know that's a much simpler way to remember rounding and helps better but I'm told by the state to teach this way..." I had to go around again and then the kids had no idea of what was going on...
Also most of these kids have sadly grown up just using a calculator and now have no idea of really memorizing basic math functions, including addition of 1+3... the one 7th grade girl drives me crazy with not knowing simple things...
I now feel for all the teachers who told me that memorizing and knowing most basic math would be better in the long run, I'm so sorry for every doubting you.
socalgp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:48 on February 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you serious? Fuck you fed real government. You hire this bitchbut wontvev n consider me.
suagrupp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly this is why I hate white collar culture. She should have been let go. It's obvious she doesn't have what it takes. You should have gone to hr about it immediately. She can't round. Blue collar world your quickly removed for shit like this. Union or not, your gone. White collar culture spends little on training, some how still picks complete idiots and keeps them. It really hurts the lower middle class and recent grads.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote this on my phone. This was not a work assignment or document. So no, I should not be fired. In addition, my inability to spell is not on the same level as not knowing how to round at all or thinking you can hand in, incorrect work and that someone else would finish it/correct it. She was a terrible hire and should have been let go. Again, this is an issue with white collar culture.
irotsoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but what do you do when it's exactly .5? I've stirred up so much arguing with asking that question to programmers trying to decide which method distributes the values most evenly. It all depends on whether your set of values contains the whole number.
I don't feel like looking it up right now, but there is an ISO rounding standard. I only found out about this when converting some CAD drawings from one software to another. One followed the rule for what to do with an ending 5, the other didn't. So when you round those values, the drawings showed a difference in the last decimal even though the 3D models were identical.
irotsoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure about ISO, but NIST recommends the round to even rule for tie-breaking. Meaning, if the value ends in 5 exactly then round to the nearest even number so 2.5 would round to 2 but 3.5 would round to 4. That's the one I was taught. But, for example, java.lang.Math by default rounds up on ties, so 2.5 would be 3 and 3.5 would be 4.
The discussion we generally have usually centers around whether you consider the lower whole number as being part of the set of values being rounded. If you consider the values between 3 and 4 non-inclusive, then .5 is in the middle (i.e. the number of possible values between 3.0 and 3.5 = number of values between 3.5 and 4.0 (again non-inclusive), so you end up with 3.5 being an "extra" value (tie). In that case you can then use the round to even rule to make it even out over time.
But if you consider the values between 3.0 and 4.0 to include 3.0 but not 4.0, then 3.0 and 3.5 cancel each other and you have the same number of values rounding up as you do rounding down. Basically you're saying that .5 should always be rounded up because .0 is being rounded down.
armcie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rounding errors? I wouldn't spend the time trying to find those. Even when its done on a computer you're going to get some rounding issues:
Say your numbers are 3.3, 3.3 and 3.3; You may want to display these rounded down to 3. But what do they add up to? 9.9? then you have 3+3+3=10 displayed on the page. And you can have different issues with balancing if you decide 3.3+3.3+3.3=9
Actually rounding rules a lot more complicated. Whether to round up or down on a X.5 depends on the X. Also what decimal place to round to is affected by the other numbers related.
[deleted] ยท 11368 points ยท Posted at 13:25:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
man_mayo ยท 6928 points ยท Posted at 13:38:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol...I searched everywhere for him when I went on my first werewolf rampage in whiterun. Couldn't find him so had to settle for eating Belethor. His tone always made me feel like he was ripping me off or something.
God when he says that, I feel so goddamn creeped out, like he's looking up my armor or something. Motherfucker, I am carrying a legendary daedric battleaxe with daedric armor. Do YOU REALLY wanna play this game? :|
My wife has the same reaction about him. Every time I play Skyrim and she's in the room when I'm interacting with him, she asks if I'll kill that creepy motherfucker for her.
I killed the one guy who doesn't do anything but calls you a friend, and I did it accidentally in my rampage and only found out when I came back to Whiterun and he had willed me some stuff. I felt real bad.
Hey, now, I like Belethor. Of course, this is mainly because, and I have no idea how or when, he died, and then I no longer had a general store. It was early game, so no Merchant Perk, and I only had one house to store my stuff, which was, of course, in Whiterun. Yeah, other general stores existed, but PS3 loading times are terrible.
This was made worse by what's-his-face constantly bragging about working for Belethor, at the general goods store (NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, HE'S DEAD, SHUT UP), and my sister playing and saying, "Wow, I sure do love having a general store in Whiterun."
I grew to miss him, and I was definitely happy to see him when I started my second playthrough.
No, she doesn't. His shop remains closed forever. That's the reason I found out he was dead; his shop was closed during the day. I thought it was a glitch, figured it'd be open next time. Waited a few days. Eventually broke in, and saw no one there. Went looking around, checked the hall of the dead out of desperation, and finally found him.
If something happens to Belethor, it's possible for Ysolda to inherit Belethor's General Goods. She cannot be traded with as she should not be there.
This bug is fixed by version 1.2 of the Unofficial Skyrim Patch.
(Emphasis mine)
Now, when it says USKP fixed it, I dunno if it means they made it so she doesn't inherit it, or that she can now be traded with. I'm inclined to think it's the latter, given your assertion, and I'm also inclined to think you have USKP or USLEEP installed. As I mentioned before, I had the PS3 version. I only had the option of official patches.
Edit: Also, an official patch released long before I got the game mistakenly set her as essential for the entire game (instead of just until A Night to Remember ended, like they meant to), so even if I misremembered my timing of when I did that quest, it wouldn't matter, since she literally can't die.
178383 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck Nazeem. I just wanna kill him so bad. but noooooooo
I wanted the uniform (mostly the shield) from one of the guards in that city... well, if I'm gonna piss off and kill a guard I might as well kill two birds with one stone.
Fuck Nazeem. I killed him and put his body on display over the well. His wife sent mercenaries after me, I killed them, came back to whiterun, killed her, and laid her next to him.
andai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm listening to the Stephen Fry audiobook of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and just last night got to the part where Harry finds out that he's a Parselmouth!
Hmm, maybe I should stop trolling my 7yo kid. While I didn't go as far as macaroni hill I am sure I might've slipped that spaghettis grow in trees. Oops!
Nope, macaroni comes from birds didn't you know? We learned this from the historical tale Yankee Doodle Dandy. "Stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni"
sungjew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the need to defend my country and say that it was 1957 at the time. Spaghetti was as alien to the British psyche back then as pushing into a queue.
Also, it was narrated by a very respected journalist/reporter - that lends credibility. I just used this example in my library instruction class this week! How it is easy to believe something when the subject is unfamiliar, and comes from a respected source.
True! I remember my mum serving pasta for the first time for dinner sometime in the mid-80s. My dad was confused. "Where are the potatoes? Is this made of potatoes? I don't understand....."
ryboodle ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decades later CNN called this broadcast "the biggest hoax that any reputable news establishment ever pulled".[1]
How times have changed
2059FF ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:53:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back when we Brits actually believed anything the bbc said
mauriceh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the 1960's they showed a video of people in Italy picking pasta off trees on the Ed Sullivan Show.
Apparently over 10,000 people wrote them letters asking where they could get the trees.
Back when spaghetti was just becoming common in the UK, there was an April fools story on spaghetti trees, done quite seriously by a respected presenter. Fooled a lot of people at first.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:44:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She must've got a ramen tree mixed up with an udon tree. To be fair it's a common mistake. First you need to pick the udon leaves, dry them out and then add komugiko. Bam! Traditional, authentic Japanese ramen.
and remember, plenty of city kids believe milk and apples come from "the factory", not from cows or trees. the very notion is ludicrous to them.
HawkEy3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's sad how disconnected some kids/people are from nature.
Housetoo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
most people will learn that early in life, but you will have many things that you learned at some point in yours that i might find weird or sad.
and similarly you might find some things weird about when i learned them.
if only we could all be born with some basic knowledge already set. like "lying is bad" or "apples grow on trees" or (no offense) "not knowing something does not mean they are stupid, just ignorant of that particular thing".
It's all context, and what is or was important to you growing up.
I grew up in a coastal community and was always passionate about marine science. I learned pretty early on that seashells used to be part of an animal, because I'd watch the coquinas bury themselves in the surf.
I now volunteer as a docent for an aquarium. When you ask a kid where a seashell comes from, they almost always just exclaim, "The sea!" When you ask an adult, they look stumped for a minute and say, "I've never thought much about it." This is even if you have a living, breathing snail right in front of you.
I thought it was unbelievable that they didn't know animals made seashells until I met my first scallop.
I did not grow up with scallops. They were too far from the shore for me to have encountered them. However, they're a common feature where I live now, so they ended up in our touch tank. I picked one up underwater, holding it sideways to admire its many eyes. Imagine my surprise when it forcefully shot out of my hand. I screamed! I studied these things in school, but I forgot the whole part where they could swim because I never encountered them much in the wild.
I know a lot about the environment I grew up with because I had 18 years to play and study in it. If you flew me out to the mountains or the desert, I'd be clueless, but I'm sure the people who live there would be full of facts and ideas.
Not much natural about milk or apples in their current form anyway. And they're probably just off by a decade or so, it makes a lot of economic sense to move towards indoor-grown genetically-engineered plants and cloned milk glands. Higher production yields at lower cost and lower emissions
A girl in my AP US history class asked what Obama's last name was.
Dr_D-R-E ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can kind of sympathize. I graduated 7th in my high school class and science was my strong area. I got yelled at by my bio teacher, while discussing diffusion/osmosis, because I was wasting time when I asked for clarification, "What do you mean make a pickle? Don't you just pick them?"
The remaining 2 and a half years of high school people made fun of me for thinking pickles came from a pickle tree or were some kind of root.
Had this one too. My buddies and I were all getting ready to sleep outfield, then one guy pops his head out of his shellscrape and says to me "Why don't Americans stop planting bread trees? It makes them fat".
No idea how he got either of those ideas, but still it made our night a lot more bearable laughing to sleep.
In 8th grade my friend thought bread grew on trees in complete loaves. Took me hours to convince him he was stupid and he didn't buy it until I pointed out that there was no stem to connect the bread and the tree.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my brother told me he chose to study physics at university, I jokingly told him I had no idea he wanted to be a physician. He spent the next three years thinking I was serious and dumb. We clarified the issue, and it has nothing to with ramen.
Tyliss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My big sister once asked my mother really seriously if cheese curds grew in trees or in bushes. She was 14 years old and we still bring her this memory from time to time.
Jave85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People are generally pretty disconnected from where food comes from so maybe this isn't such a terrible question :P
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pfff everyone knows ramen comes from the Ramen Empire
lib4lyf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if she saw the BBC April Fool's joke from 1957 about the glorious Spaghetti harvest in Italy that year, you could see how she could be mislead - the British access, so credible!
bohiti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very bright (<- honest) 8 year old recently told me he's surprised that we can just make cheese. He thought it would make more sense to grow on its own. To avoid embarrassing him, I didn't press by asking "like a plant?". We live in Wisconsin and have been to cheese factories. Guess we'll have to go again.
ialready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same tree Justin Timberlake was born from
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she somehow was thinking of the spaghetti tree hoax - a famous 3-minute hoax report broadcast on April Fools' Day 1957 by the BBC?
I guess I could imagine uncooked ramin being a vegetable that's cut into strings...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in highschool I had a moment where I genuinely did not know where pasta came from. I was pretty sure it didn't 'grow' but I honestly didn't know.
InFearn0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a conversation with an adult coworker (he has a PhD is geology and a masters in computer science) about ice cream flavors, when he dropped this bomb, "I can't stand artificial flavors, like vanilla! And now companies are pushing a 'vanilla bean' flavor!"
I had to stop him to explain that vanilla is natural and acquired by grinding up or extracting it from vanilla beans.
Fnhatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to her defense it does not taste like proper pasta. More like an alien type of snack.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like her parents told her that to mess with her. I grew up thinking "hotel" was pronounced "hotowel" because my parents thought it was hilarious.
I personally believe in creationism so I know for a fact that the Flying Spaghetti Monster drops packs of ramen down to Earth once a year, during the famed Ramen Festivus
pmulbp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok but i have a question, if matter is canceled out by anti-matter, then how does an italian restaurant serve both pasta and antipasto in the same physical reality
Somehow it really disappointed me that after that whole wild goose chase along the freedom trail, the password to the top-secret rebel organization was "railroad."
No kidding. I wasn't even paying attention to the numbers and letters on the trail, until I got to the safehouse. Then I saw the turn-y password thing, and realized the game was going to make me do work.
I turn around with a sigh to go and look at all the signs, when the first two, backtracking, were 8-d and 1-r. I stopped and said out lout, "Is the password fucking railroad?"
I did something similar. I saw the first clue, wrote it down, and when I wrote down the second one, I said, "I hope this doesn't spell out something obvious like, 'railroad'."
KeetoNet ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:40:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah - I was actually prescient enough to write them down as I encountered them, expecting something like this. Turns out I had missed a couple along the way and was worried I'd have to backtrack for the ones I missed.
Until I actually looked at the ones I had collected and did a facepalm.
But hey, I got to do some good Murder Hobo action along the way, so I was satisfied.
Spent two hours clearing out a house a looking for the exit where the line would clearly continue on the other.
Nope. Go back out, follow the actual line this time, lose it multiple times. Say fuck it and look up the end point online.
I don't know if my gamma was messed up but the line was practically invisible.
KeetoNet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were several places where the line disappeared, but in almost all cases (all those that didn't involve rubble covering the obvious path) there was a spray-painted line to show where it diverged and where you should go to pick it back up.
I did the same thing. I thought it might be a jumble or something until I got to the end and said "wow, real good password. I'm sure fucking MIT would never figure that out.
I literally stumbled across the base the first time. My first playthrough, the only way I advanced the plot was by wandering around and things happening around me. I was just playing around with the code-thingy when my character started talking to me.
yeah, at certain points, corresponding to important landmarks are big bronze seals with THE FREEDOM TRAIL on them. There's a number and an arrow pointing to a letter. If you look directly at it, and hit the "interact" button, you say the number and letter, and go "hmmm..."
There's a mod that adds some new presets for the riddle if you want the experience a few more times.
imangwy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I tried was like "obviously, it isn't railroad, too obvious." Then after 3 hours of making up random shit I went for railroad and flipped out that it was that fucking obvious.
You can actually skip straight to the church without even hearing about the Railroad, input the password, and when you get asked how you found them, you can respond that you just stumbled upon them.
semtex94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reason they do the whole freedom trail thing is to get enough time to judge who exactly is looking for them, hence why they show up with everyone pointing guns at you. It's a good tactic to see if the person who is looking for them is actually a possible agent or a particular smart raider. And what better way to do that than a secret code at the end that can only be found by walking the whole path?
Yeah, except you didn't have to walk the whole path. If your enemies are trying to break in, then "railroad" is literally the first password they'd be likely to try. It's like that episode of Archer where the password to the ISIS mainframe is "guest." It's just babytown frolics.
Bekenel ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 15:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KeetoNet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, I completely missed that I needed to respond that way when I first encountered one of these guys. Turns out, it didn't matter, and "Sarcastic Yes" worked fine.
Damn I played Fallout 4 for like 200 hours and I STILL didn't get this reference until you mentioned that. It's a pretty obscure reference to a pretty random quest.
Not really related and not a teacher, but was in class maybe 5th grade or so. Teacher asks a girl in class to read a passage. In the passage, it mentions the country Niger. My clairvoyance kicked in and I anticipated the girl's mistake in advance. She gets to the word, and without hesitation she just says "nigger". The whole class erupted and even the teacher was crying laughing. Kids are so innocent.
Worked in Texas this past summer. Some of them have never left Texas or been on a plane.
Blew their minds that Texas wasn't the largest state when I showed them the numbers.
dannyr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:17:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an Australian I like being in Texas and pointing out Australia has a cattle station bigger than their state. They seemed to get all uppity over that.
Your wording is weird on this. You make it sound like the cattle station is bigger than the state itself, which is a ridiculous claim. Googled it, it's 7 times bigger than the biggest cattle ranch in Texas. Wording.
dannyr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:08:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry about that
At just under 24,000 square km โ 2.4 million hectares โ Anna Creek Station is bigger than Israel and about the same size as Rwanda and seven times larger than the biggest ranch in Texas.
I realized that they had really poor grasps of geography so I had them make freehand maps of the us at the beginning and end of every unit, labelling the relevant parts.
Alaska and Hawaii were left out as the class only went to 1877 and we didn't have time to cover Seward's Folly.
they bitched and moaned, but those little shits could tell the difference between new England and the mid Atlantic. Fwiw we were nowhere near those areas.
When I was student teaching my freshman world history book had Nelson Mandela on the cover and most of the kids thought it was Morgan Freeman :P Kids are dumb.
Lmao a question so dumb, it made you take to reddit to check if it was the dumbest of all time
Lonelan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
student teaching
I always thought this was a weird way to describe the position.
As if you would teach non-students?
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student teaching is when you learn to teach under the supervision of another teacher. The student teacher is both teacher and student, hence the name.
Lonelan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:20:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher-in-training then, or assistant teacher, or even new teacher. I mean we don't see student burger flippers or student register jockey.
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher-in-training
That would apply to a variety of positions not specific to student teaching
assistant teacher
This has the same problem as "student teacher" where it sounds like you're teaching assistants, and also loses the information about you being a student and not just an assistant. Assistant teacher is also already the name for a different position.
even new teacher
You're not a credentialed teacher until you complete your student teaching, and this title seems to imply otherwise
I don't really see your issue with "student teacher," regardless. It's cute and descriptive
In school our teachers regularly used Texas as a size indicator when learning countries around the world. It was the 'banana for scale' of geography class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No map without Texas is a map worth a damn anyway.
sirhalos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of related. In my history class in high school we had to fill out country names on a map for a World War II assignment. The front page was of Europe and the back page was of Asia. We were given country names on another page. No it wasn't every single country just the most common ones. Girl asked the teacher where Japan was (she was looking at the front page) because she knew for a fact that it was beside Germany since they were allies during the war. She just couldn't remember if it was a little north or south.
Once, I was on a friend's back porch with other friends. This friend was my then girlfriend's best friend and was known for asking questions first and thinking later. Anyway, we were on the back porch and it was an unusually clear night and someone was like "Look at all the stars, dang," so everyone was looking up. After someone pointed and said, "I think that bright one's Mars," the friend goes, "Oh, cool! Now... which one's Earth?" and she was completely serious, guys. Everyone just stared at her and she goes "... what? (pause, then her eyes go distant and you could see the lights turn on in her head) Oooohhhhhhhh. Nevermind."
I guarantee that if you zoom in far enough, eventually you will find a small town in China that is named something close enough to texas to call it "texas".
I hope you pointed to the point in space where Texas would be if the map were moved.
You gotta remember that kids these days grew up with google maps, which is a single map containing every place of which any particular rectangle is just a small window onto.
In the minds of someone who grew up using google maps, every map is a small view of an underlying map which is complete. You're never looking at a map that doesn't contain Texas; you're only looking at a map that isn't showing Texas right now.
I hope I don't sound like a jerk, I try not to correct grammar very often, but since you're a teacher, I thought I would point out that "most stupid" should be "stupidest" in your title.
Good question regardless and thank you for starting this thread!
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned that the general rule was ">1 syllable, more and most, 1 syllable, -er, -est"
At my last company, representatives from the China office attend our national meeting. During the opening presentation, in front of nearly 700 people, a slide went up highlighting China on the world map. The executives then profusely thanked our Chinese employees for their efforts. Only problem? They highlighted Japan. The gasps in the room were audible.
Varboa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student has got the right idea though, there should be a texas in every country I reckon
similar i suppose but a kid in middle school thought texas was the biggest state because on the map it looks like the biggest state. we where in history class, which i was pretty sure they had covered the annexation of the bigger state, alaska.
Derdude5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I could never be a teacher. If I were in that situation, the student would believe Southern China is Texas, and Trump is trying to erect a second wall.
ialready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was asking about the Texas Instruments factory
I don't know if you're the real Ursula, but I'm a big fan! If you're real I want you to know how much I love you and if this is an uncomfortable awkward different person then, hey, love you too!
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not the real Ursula. I googled my name to find out what you're talking about, and now I'm also a big fan.
This has been my username on various things for almost 5 years now, suddenly a lot of jokes are starting to make sense
Sedela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar, picture of Europe, countries are all blanked out. Girl points to Spain and says "This is India right?" Dead serious and cried when she found out India wasn't in Europe at all. This was an 11th grade world geography and history class coming up on finals for the year...she went on to AP History the following year...absolute my mind blowing....
When I was in sixth grade, one of my classmates was panicked because she couldn't find Rhode Island. The teacher pulled the big map in the front down and let her look there.
Had an epic, long argument with a guy in a chatroom back when chatrooms were a thing. He insisted that Texas didn't exist and it was the biggest cover up in history. He claimed the US government fabricated it's existence to make the US seem bigger and more intimidating to other nations.
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future. For our children.
Azten ยท 17366 points ยท Posted at 13:59:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the college mid term, I had a guy comes up to me that I've never seen in class. He proceeded to ask me what his grade is. Checked the sheet, he never turned in a single piece of homework, no quizzes, never attended a test.
What did you think you'd have? You've got a solid F.
[deleted] ยท 14135 points ยท Posted at 15:27:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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II-o-II ยท 9717 points ยท Posted at 15:32:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated from university years ago. I still have this dream.
GrokFu ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:01:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still have PTSD from the late 90s when I was notified that I was missing a required math credit (supposed to be transferred) two months before graduation. Fortunately it was a prerequisite to a stats class where I had received an A grade, so the Dean of [something-or-other] gave me credit. This still causes horrible nightmares.
I had a problem where my English professor was being inappropriate to the girls in class and was being an asshole to the male students pointing them out in class and saying their work sucked, totally ripping them apart while slyly touching the girls in the class and saying weird comments and asking them to stay after class alone with him and ewww. It was so vile I always went to the bathroom halfway through class to cool down.
I wrote an email about it and the dean and English department went bonkers against me trying to protect their teacher (who was forced out at the end of the semester). I feared they were going to kick me out of college so i chose to drop the class which left me with less than full time credits. I needed to be full time for the loans and such to remain in effect so I was very screwed. Luckily my Tae Kwon Do professor let me TA the beginner class to keep my credits full time.
Fhew! But colleges suck. Trying to save their "honor" by protecting their disgusting professor instead of his students. The girls in the class had complained as well, but I was the first.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:38:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Portland State University, by chance? Don't want to call out the prof's name, but holy shit does this sum up one of the dickheads in the SBA's information systems program.
Nope! I don't wanna even call out the college in particular incase they'll try to sue me over it haha but it was a highly rated State University.
It sucks you have to know an asshole in college too :(
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:27:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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_Dorbii_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had something similar happen to me this semester. I ended up going about the advisor and straight to the teacher that was in control of my minor. He called my advisor and they accepted one of my classes as a dual credit. Took like 5 minutes to do.
If the advisor made comments and notes about your track you can reference them when talking to the Dean and that plays favorably because it shows a point of failure. Also make sure to check the guidelines for your degree. My school has different requirements online than in their Stars report because of shitty COBOL code. I ended up getting another class transferred as a credit because of this as well.
Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. It's a shitty situation but you can get through it!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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_Dorbii_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I know that feeling. I was lucky and it got flagged when I applied for this semester (final semester). They tried to tell me I had to take extra classes to get my minor and graduate. I actually went to my boss since I work within the school and something similar happened to him when he attended. Looked online and found the loop holes and got that part fixed then got thrown the situation I described above. Took 2 months for that to clear and it only worked out because when my advisor said there is nothing more we can do I went to the teacher that owned my minor and straight up asked him why he kept denying my appeals.
Happy it worked out for you though! Good luck with your last bit of schooling!
Is there any way for you to get the missing credit some other way? If they don't grandfather you in because the requirements change, see if they can add you into the missing class now. You'll be behind and catch up, but if your course load is light it should be doable. Also see if you can get the missing credits by taking a community college class during the summer, which as a single class should be much cheaper than a semester (though still a few thousand).
macegr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:32:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense. Imagine having the same type of dream, but it's about finding yourself on the wrong end of a gun, or being irresistibly dragged towards an IED and you can't stop the vehicle.
Oh then do tell me why so many people are having dreams about it that are freaking them out. PTSD doesn't only exist in one form or for only extremely serious things like soldiers coming home from war. Stress is stress and it causes a biological response regardless of the source of that distress. Chronic Adversity is an accepted potential cause of PTSD symptoms.
OK, so I have this dream and I also have PTSD for something else. It's not the same. Class dream is a bit stressful, maybe, but definitely not "mild" PTSD.
Dude, I have it and I know how it works. I mean, someone could get it for this, but I think it's highly unlikely. I think people often think that very stressful = PTSD, and that is 100% not the case.
I'm literally saying it because of the symptoms. Not because people are stressed. You completely have how I approached this backwards. You don't see a stressed person and start looking for PTSD. You see the PTSD and look for the stressor. The reoccuring dreams 100% related to a deliberately stressful and reoccurring aspect of a persons life absolutely points to a form of PTSD. It fits the symptoms. Even psychologists start with the symptoms and go backwards.
Dude, I have it and I know how it works
That does not make you an expert in every possible version of PTSD that exists. That's not how it works. A person with cancer doesn't suddenly know about every form of cancer other than their version. Same for you and your PTSD.
I get what you guys are arguing; but I also get what the other guy is saying. Even according to your wikipedia article:
While it is common to have symptoms after any traumatic event, these must persist to a sufficient degree (i.e., causing dysfunction in life or clinical levels of distress) for longer than one month after the trauma to be classified as PTSD
I'm not sure if it meets those criteria in most people experiencing the dream. I have that reoccuring dream of forgetting a class and stuff. It doesn't cause a dysfunction in life or clinical levels of distress. Medically it wouldn't classify as PTSD, even if it acts using the same or similar mechanism, due to it's lack of impact.
Medically it wouldn't classify as PTSD, even if it acts using the same or similar mechanism, due to it's lack of impact.
Then what would it be? It's clearly something that presents the same. I know of no other PTSD like condition that presents the same but with lesser impact. It's still not normal to have these reoccurring dreams about a stressful part of your life for this very long. I mean I've straight woken up in cold sweats over this and panicked. It's very physical.
I'm pretty sure that's just "post-dramatic stress".
Disorders are medically classifiable issues with distinct criteria. If your symptoms aren't strong enough to constitute a disorder, it isn't one. Having a dream that makes you scared isn't quite the same as having that happen to the point that it effects your day-to-day.
No one said it was scary. In fact I explicitly said it wakes me in cold sweats and panicked. So I guess at this point you're just being dismissive. Thanks I'll look into PSD but I still don't feel like you're actually listening.
edit Post Dramatic Stress doesn't exist as far as I can find. Acute Stress Reaction was the next closest thing. So I guess you're dismissive and making things up? Got a source for PSD?
For a few years after I graduated college, I would have nightmares that my high school diploma was invalid and I had to go back to high school. I'd be screaming in the dream, "But I graduated college!" Horrible!
Yeah I have this dream more than the college ones.
For me it's always walking through a weird version of my high school's halls around exam time whilelooking at a schedule I can't read (because i can never really read in dreams) and I'm trying to figure out if I've been to the class before. But at times I remember that I finished college, but I am still stressed out about it.
Wow. Word for word exactly how some of mine have gone. The last time I "realized" I could just go take the G.E.D test instead of all these classes. I'm hoping this means I will only have a few more of these "didn't graduate HS" dreams once I take that G.E.D test-in the dream-.
Yeah... Actually didn't know where my locker was or the combination. I just carried all my shit.
topCyder ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:26:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These dreams actually are not quite as universal as you may think - people who have trouble with executive functioning (i.e. severe ADD) won't have these dreams. Dreams like these are triggered by the same alert system that makes you remember that you left something on the printer on your way out. Those little executive "blips" aren't present or are much more infrequent in folks that struggle with this stuff.
Therefore, it is my conclusion that even though life sucks almost all the time when you completely forget that a task even exists, it has its benefit in that you don't get shitty "oh no I forgot that really important thing" dreams.
In a parallel universe you actually do have that class, and when you're asleep and dreaming you are most susceptible to the transparency between these universes.
I'm two decades removed from my college days and I still have that dream. That's a good news (you're not alone, yay) bad news (it never ends, boo) sort of thing.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:59:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Three decades for me. I have that dream regularly.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:23:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I knew what caused it so I could help the rest of you out, but for me those dreams completely stopped about five years ago, roughly 7 years after graduating.
They were very powerful dreams too โ I would always wake up in a cold sweat with a foggy mind, and it would take a couple of minutes until I could remember and reassure myself that I had already graduated and that I was a working adult now and didn't even have any classes to go to.
It just so happens that the dreams finally stopped around the time I got into my current line of work, which I find very fulfilling. Correlation doesn't necessarily equal causation, so I don't know if that actually has anything to do with them stopping, but it's the only thing I can think of.
AnnieB25 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:45:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had the teeth falling out dream. My most recurring dreams are the class one, navigating impossible staircases, and being a long way from home and there's some obstacle keeping me from going back.
urn___ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the class and staircase one too. The staircase one I've had the longest and most frequently. The class one didn't start till my last few years of high school. It's crazy seeing that these experiences aren't unique.
Enigmutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I still have dreams that I'm in high school, and I can't find my planner to check what class I have next. Kids are scurrying to their next class and I don't know what mine is.
jsmoo68 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:34:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a recurring nightmare that I have to redo high school because they lost my records of having graduated โฆ I'm almost 50.
Yep, I'm long past my college days and still have this dream too. For me, it's always a class that I would struggle with too and have no hopes of being able to catch up quickly, like calculus.
I graduated nearly 14 years ago and I still get it on occasion.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:17:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
same, I wake up in cold sweat. The dream usually has me being sent back to high school
LWZRGHT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we have a psychological need to get approval from authority. It's not even close to death, but the fear is gripping during the moments of that dream.
I had a related nightmare come true. After 10 years of grad school on the eve of my PhD thesis defense I realized I had forgotten to register for a single credit for a seminar I had attended five years earlier.
That one took a lot of begging and paperwork to sort out.
After graduating years ago I still dream that there was a mistake with my grades and I haven't passed after all
phlat6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easily a decade after graduating I had a recurring dream I'd signed up for a full course load and somehow only showed up to one or two classes a week, missing homework, class assignments, tests, etc like crazy... and I would stress out but I could not fix it. Nothing more frustrating.
I graduated ten years ago and still have this dream probably twice a year.
wsnwsk27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It never even crossed my mind that other people might have this same recurring dream. Now I'm very curious why that's a thing, because I've had it for a while now
Same two things, every time too - either 1. I am late to class, and I didn't do the homework; I wake up and realize, not only is it 4am, but I have been out of college for 4 years, or 2. The new term started and I completely spaced on it and have missed weeks of all classes. The variation on the second one is that I only miss certain classes, but on a consistent basis. Sometimes an odd variable is thrown in - a family member, a relationship dream, or maybe something with demonic possession, but the basic idea fits into one of those two categories, every time.
People have asked if I've ever had the dream where I give a presentation, only to realize that I am nude, but the fact is that I am nude in most of my dreams and it is awesome/not a source of anxiety, so I don't count that as a theme.
I still have this dream after being out of college almost 20 years. My 68 year old mom has told me she still has it from time to time. Guess we all better get used to it.
Fuck I'm 38 years old and I still have nightmares about missing the goddamn bus! (Grade School/Elementary I mean, not the city buses)
pwnz0rd ยท 1772 points ยท Posted at 15:45:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even a dream for me, I used to literally get online and recheck my schedule like 3 times a semester.
[deleted] ยท 1237 points ยท Posted at 15:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I checked my schedule yesterday to make sure i was actually in all the classes I've been taking and found out I'm in a chemistry class I had no idea about
Thanks. I just rechecked my schedule now. Good news, no unknown classes. Bad news, saw my bill for tuition.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great, I just checked my schedule. Bad news, apparently I didn't pay my tuition so I'm not enrolled in any of the classes I've been attending. Good news, I'm free for the rest of the semester.
I just threw up a little thinking about the bill for my tuition. I have no idea where it's going to come from, I'm going to end up getting my car repo'd if I have to keep choosing between making my car payment or tuition payment.
N7Alpha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look into loan forgiveness in your job field. Some places offer to pay your loans from school if you work in a specific set of circumstances for a period of time. You just pay interest. So you could feasibly pull out loans to cover school, then pay the interest while you work when you graduate. Then have the loans paid off.
Dunno if that's an option for you, but it's worth mentioning.
Cheers!
Oh yeah, I'm definitely hoping for it but I couldn't take out enough loans to cover tuition this semester I have to pay what isn't covered by May in order to graduate
N7Alpha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, that's rough /:
I went through much of the same. Barely able to get some funding in time to graduate.
Have you tried looking into your bank? Credit unions, if you can get into one, usually have great loan services for stuff like school. And it's independent of loans through school. It's just straight cash to you personally from them, that you pay back. Maybe that can top you off?
Just spitballing. I really hope you figure it out and graduate this year buddy!
I took what I had out of my retirement account from my old job to help out, but still short. But my credit isn't the best to take out a loan. I had to get a cosigner to get approval for my car, after the one I had paid off was totaled last month (no public transportation here) I had to get another one. I could've used that money to pay the rest. I think I'm going to set up some stuff on ebay or local sale/trade groups and see if I can close the gap
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the reminder - I'll take a nap right now, and check my dream schedule, to make sure I'm not missing any dream classes.
JimmysPC ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:58:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the same dream! I found out with 4 hours left in the semester I had an online class I didn't know about. I rushed to do a semesters worth of work in 4 hours.
What blows my mind is how a student can come to class once, and then never again. Never drop it, nothing. Doesn't answer any email asking if they are planning in returning or dropping the class. They just drop off the map. Happens several times a semester.
inibrius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:47:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took classes like that. Went the first day to get the syllabus and the test schedule, showed up for the midterm and final tests, passed the classes. Mandatory english and math classes can eat a dick when they have nothing to do with your major.
XDresser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:40:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It must be nice to have teachers who don't put homework and class participateion as 60% of your grade.
inibrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this was the 90s. we wouldn't have stood for that.
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:47 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is that even possible? In college you make your own schedule by signing up for classes yourself every semester. How do you have a class you had no idea about?
YMMM but certain universities make you your own schedule if you're living on campus for your freshman year. Depending on your major, you will obviously get assigned the major-related classes you expect, but it's easy to forget about the electives. I know I had my schedule right in front of me and I almost missed a programming class I had on Tuesdays and Thursdays cause I was too busy making sure I memorized when I had calculus and chemistry. Anxiety does some shit to ya, man.
Often times people will sign up for more classes than they actually intend to take, because they're not sure they want to take class X for whatever reason (teacher may be bad, subject matter may be not what they want) so they also sign up for class Y as a backup. Then they decide to stick with one over the other, and drop the backup.
The fear when you do this is that you will forget to drop your backup classes and not realize it until you've passed the final drop deadline, at which point you will be fucked because you will be enrolled in a class you haven't attended for half a semester.
That's assuming he was being metaphorical in saying he "had no idea" about it, and he just meant that he didn't remember it. If he actually had never signed up for it, I guess livelyshoes' comment is the only thing that makes sense.
You just described my recurring nightmare. It's a long, drawn-out dream where I keep forgetting to go to a class, and I keep meaning to drop it but never do. For a perfectionist who would cry if she lost her 4.0, this is absolutely horrifying. Please don't be in my dreams tonight!
Yeah, I never really did this in undergrad so it wasn't something I was worried about, but in law school the registration system required you to basically put in a bunch of backup classes just in case you didn't get into your first choice classes, and I was always paranoid I would get registered into one of those and forget about it.
Not sure if this is the case for OP, but in most UK universities you don't 'sign up' for classes. You are given a schedule based on your degree path and you attend the lectures and classes on that schedule.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These are our future managers, bosses, and fathers.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:00:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had registered for it but it conflicted with a class that was for my major so I thought I had dropped it but nope.
well, just be glad it's still early in the semester.
Worst I've done was signing up for a class for 9:45 and a 8:00 class. I live off campus and turns out it was a 8PM class so twice a week I got an 9 hour wait between classes.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:39:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than 8am class... i have one 3 days a week and its brutal.
You young whippersnappers! I had classes that started at 7:15!
Actually, I like morning classes because I'm usually more alert in the mornings, sets up my day and I try to get my work done before having the evening to go drink or play video games. Also prevents me from partying too hard during the weekdays.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always was a morning person; then the heat went out in my car. Now I dread having to leave my nice warm bed to take a sometimes cold shower, freezing my ass off in the Midwestern winters for 20 minutes on my drive there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did last semester and I was both figuratively and literally dying.
Currently at work and have been out of school for about a year. Your comment just gave me an intense pit of anxiety in my stomach and the uncontrollable urge to check my course schedule that doesn't exist.
But isn't it so early in the semester that you can drop it? Good thing you checked!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I dropped it today and it's not on my transcript. It's weird that I didn't even pay for it but I was listed in the class. Loophole, maybe?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just checked my schedule as I'm typing because you freaked me out. Turns out I've been out of college for eight years and yup...I'm supposed to be in Pop Culture Lit MWF.
Do you guys not make your own class schedule in college?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We do but I had registered for it initially but a class more pertinent to my major ended up conflicting with it. Then when I went to remove it, it did from my end so when I printed my schedule it didn't show up. Then when I was in the advising office for something I thought what the hell and had them print out my schedule again and the chem class I thought I dropped was still on there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you forget that you signed up for a class? You took the time to find a time slot that was suitable for you and you had to actively search for that particular class. Even with that, in the first few days you have to look at your schedule to find out where your classes are so you still should have seen it then. I genuinely don't understand this.
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just walk into the chemistry class and start drinking stuff to ease the stress.
LPT screenshot your full schedule and make it the background on your phone. I did this with my ipad actually cuz I had a slide phone with a 2inch screen.
MT_work ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:59:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a dream earlier this year that convinced me that I didn't earn my masters. I had to log into my old transcripts to double check that morning.
Maeglom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had classes added to my schedule, but once i've had all my classes dropped for no reason any one could figure out like 4 weeks into the semester.
I've triple checked to make sure I'm taking all the final courses I need to graduate in a few months and even with written confirmation from my advisor I'm still not fully convinced.
There were semesters where I did this on almost a weekly basis.....
cj4k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman year I was signed up for way too many credits and of course there was one class that got neglected. I rarely showed up to lectures and would only show up for quizzes and tests. It was getting to the point that I had no idea what was going on in the class but was so involved with the other classes I wasn't even thinking about it. One day I'm sitting in another class and it just dawns on me, I missed the fucking midterm for that class. I almost had a heartattack. Went straight to the administration and explained and was told that you get 1 free drop of a class that wont count againt your GPA, but you only get one so make sure. Obviously I used it. Really lucked out there, but I still have this reoccurring nightmare til this day. I sometimes will have a super vivid dream that I did it again, and when I wake up it still feels real until I realize I haven't been in school for 5 years....
xorgol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've once done the opposite. I had two classes separated by an empty slot, which was used for a computer graphics class I didn't have in my course plan. I started following the lectures to fill up the time, and completely forgot I couldn't do the exam, as I had already maxed out the option courses.
ajh6w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a nickel for every time I checked my schedule in the first two weeks of any semester, I wouldn't have even needed college, as I would have made enough to comfortably retire by my 3rd semester.
TwoHands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every week or so, I'd do the panic schedule check because of the forgotten class... it got worse the quarter after my first online class, because I now had the possibility of an online class that I may have forgotten about.
I've been out of college for a while now and on very groggy mornings, I still have that panic.
It really is fascinating considering how moderately specific it is. Also I doubt it's ever happened to 99.99% of people and it's not a traditional fear you see in TV or movies
marcan42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it takes me a minute or two after waking up to realize that this is not my dorm room, this is my bedroom, in another country, and I graduated years ago.
I had this dream during my senior year in high school despite having a full schedule, I'd imagine that there's this extra class I forgot and skipped all year
I have a different dream, which is probably just as common - I have an exam, and whatever method I try of getting to the exam fails, e.g. I go to the train station and all the trains are cancelled, my bicycle has a puncture, the car won't start, the bus breaks down, and it's too far to walk.
Yeah. I wasn't a good student when I first tried college, and actually did skip too many classes so the fear is based on reality so its an awful feeling.
Is it universal though? I want to know what people who live out in the middle of remote villages have stress dreams about. Cholera and being eaten by wild animals probably.
I graduated high school almost 20 years ago. I occasionally dream that I never got my high school diploma and I need to go back to finish it.
Occasionally part of my mind rebels and goes "Hey! I have college degrees and years of experience! This doesn't make sense! No one gives a shit about high school!" and I wake up. But other times I'm just wondering around my old high school trying to figure out my schedule again.
spocmank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 28 and I still regularly dream that it's the last day before high school graduation and I forgot to go to one class all year. Fortunately I usually decide to heck with it and just go snowboarding.
lib4lyf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, my husband still has this dream occasionally and we graduated over 15 years ago!
It was a legal ethics class, the textbook was written by the teacher, and the final exam was open book. This was all declared on the first day. (in law school final exams are 100% of your grade, though some teachers adjust grades for participation).
I went to the first class and proceeded to skip every. Single. Class. I showed up to the final exam and like half the questions were not at all in the book. He apparently taught many cases and rules that weren't in his text book.
Got a C-.
Second time was being fatigued and stupid. Reddit, I need a ruling on this one:
I had 5 final exams in 8 days and lost in the shuffle was which was open book and which was closed book.
I went 4-4 remembering the right formats. The last test (Real Estate Law) I thought was open book, so I skimmed a little, practiced a little, but mostly wrote up my very own "index" of topics likely to be asked and where to find them. I was going to Saving Private Ryan Nazi stab this exam in the chest while whispering "ssshhhhhh" as the professor would be the coward with all the ammo around his neck around the corner, afraid to grade my monster exam.
I show up. The proctor starts writing on the chalk board.
She draws a crescent..."C."
Then a line downward and I'm thinking, "do not turn right." It turned right. "L."
"CLOSED BOOK EXAM."
Fuuuuuccccckkkkkk
I showed up to an closed-book exam like it was open-book.
Got a B+ though. Somehow.
Reddit, which is worse? Showing up to an open-book exam prepared for a closed book, or showing up to a closed book exam believing it's open-book?
Both feelings constantly give me nightmares. 8 years later.
andoink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL this is a thing. This absolutely happens to me.
Apparently it usually happens when you perceive yourself to be incompetent or otherwise behind in your day to day life, usually at work.
deeplife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really surprised though. It always comes up in threads like this and yet I never had that fear even remotely. I never even thought about that. I can see my list of courses online. I signed up for them. Why would I fear there's an extra class?
I'm not judging or anything, just genuinely curious why this would be so common.
I wake up in a panic sometimes. I have classes that I passed with full marks that I cannot remember attending. I slept through Ancient History, apparently.
One theory I've heard about dreaming is it's our brain's way of preparing us for problematic situations, so it could be the influence of conscious stressors on our unconscious thoughts. The things that stress us out the most are what most frequently occur, thus leading to the universal "showing up to school naked" dream or other such dilemmas.
I get it with jobs too. It's never a good job in my dream either, it's like, "oh shit I'm late for my shift at walmart"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had that dream before but I've got a kind of project due PTSD and sometimes wake up in a panic thinking I'm really late for something.
Todann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can this be so common? I remember very well every single class I sign up for, considering I'm paying thousands of dollars each, there's no way I could forget. Those people must be on financial aid or something, how could you just totally forget about a several thousand dollar expense?
I beat this dream. I took a class and intentionally did everything like in the dreams. Never went to class, never took the tests. Failed the class at the end of the semester, but I had taken enough extras and labs that it didnt even dent my credits. The nightmare never came back, I've lived it and it didn't hurt me at all.
So my transcipt has an F, I graduated completely on time and that nightmare is gone forever.
fear-is-the-mind-killer
Korashy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a year or two after graduation I kept dreaming that I was back in college or high school, and they didn't let me leave and I kept trying to tell them that I already graduated and they fuck off. Annoyed the crap out of me.
Was never even anxious about it, college was the best time ever and I would go back in a heartbeat, but god damn trying to explain to a professor that you aren't in his class in your dreams is annoying.
the best thing I've ever read is a comment from a professor saying that he had dreams where he forgot to teach for a whole semester and showed up at the final with a bunch of pissed students
Mine is that I have French class in high school that I need to finish to graduate, even though I've been out of high school for almost 15 years and no longer remember much of anything from French class.
I am 31. Graduated college about 7 years ago. Been working my career for 3 years.
I had this dream last night. Woke up at 3, sprinted out to my laptop, opened it up and tried signing into my old student portal. When my "username and password are incorrect" flashed on the screen - I came to my senses.
Anxiety dreams. Many people also have dreams of losing their car keys. I tend to have dreams where I lost my keys and my car is in the middle of a river.
Jacob_C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just laugh when I wake up. Then I realize I'm awake and need to deal with life. :/
I had this dream for the first time last semester, and it has stuck with me since
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have one where my school informs me that, because I didn't get the pre-req high school class that would have qualified me for one of the classes I had freshman year in college, my college degree had been revoked and I would need to re-do my high school course so that I could go back to college and re do all the classes I did to earn my diploma again. And I'm naked for some reason.
Ovreel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised how many people have this dream or similar.
I have a recurring dream that I'm back in college and keep missing a class because I can't remember what it is. It's bizarre.
Rather than crazy it's evidence how traumatic and abusive schooling is. You literally have PTSD
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always have the dream that I should stop skipping class and a horrible feeling I'll fail.
kimvais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that the dream I had for 10+ years that I was back in the army and for some clerical error or whatnot it wasn't over yet or I had to redo the whole thing is at least as common in all countries with conscription.
gormster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was that I have to go back to high school because they figured out I was short a PE credit and would otherwise revoke my diploma. It stayed with me for many years. When I had a baby, I had to bring her. When I started substitute teaching, I could teach all the periods but one and have to take PE. Somewhere around 8 years of teaching in (when I had to teach my regular classes and go take PE with my students), it morphed into the college "I have never attended class and can't remember or access my schedule" dream.
rip10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a classic example of ptsd. This might sound like a joke, but I'm serious. Having a dream of failing school 25 years after graduating? That seems an awful lot like undiagnosed ptsd.
gheradel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really that crazy. They spent so much of the budget on the CGI they couldn't afford to pay a writer for more than a few dreams. We're all stuck dreaming the same stuff. Itโs really bad. I mean hell, they even have to work in nights where we think we dreamt something but don't remember. It's a fake out, we didn't actually dream! It's all a lie to cover up the budget issues!
It's amazing- every time I wake up from it, it takes me about ten seconds or so to remember that I'm not taking any classes right now. On first waking, that seems impossible. I graduated over a decade ago.
I never went to university and I'm in my 30s. I have this dream once or twice a year.
Shinkaru ยท 761 points ยท Posted at 15:40:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too!! I graduated almost 10 years ago and I still have nightmares that I signed up for a class, forgot about it, then flunked it. I thought I was the only one.
I also went to a military college and get a dream where they call me one day and say that I didn't do enough time in the corp of cadets and have to return to do an additional semester. I wake up in a panic, because it means that I have to quit my job, move away, and hate every day of my life for several months.
Woah. I have dreams I'm the age I am now but have to go back to high school because I missed a class. That was almost 20 years ago. I also have dreams that somebody messed up on my Army paperwork and I have to go back to basic training. Scary
I have the dream that other people have mentioned--about being in college and signing up for a class and then forgetting about its existence until the last minute. But I've also had dreams that I've gone back to high school to try to get a better grade in a certain class. Why a college graduate would do such a thing, if it were even possible, beats me.
Yeah achievement hunting or collecting unlockables I guess.
Homitu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:36:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm about 30 and occasionally have a dream that my entire high school class has to go back for another year of high school as our current adult selves. It doesn't necessarily get very eventful, if I can recall, but it is interesting. We all essentially hop back into our old friend groups, but we're much more mature and respectful toward everyone outside of our groups. Everyone intermingles to some extent, and all is well.
It's like my brain is putting a happy ending on the high school story that traditionally is left open and unresolved.
DJTen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this same dream! Even though I'm in my 40s and graduated high school with no problems. In the dream, for some reason, I have missed 9 days of class and you can only 10 unexcused absences so I'm scrambling to get to school on time so I don't miss that last day and end up not graduating.
This is just one variation I have on the not-graduating-from-high-school dream.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was dangerously close to failing a class for unexcused absences (5) and used to have dreams that I woke up late all the time.
dewymeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better, even if something actually was messed up with your HS diploma, after that amount of time you'd almost certainly just take a class for your GED and you'd be surrounded by adults, not go back to high school.
Nabber86 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:21:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is probably some truth to that. Trying to get through college and get a job was very traumatic to me and would explain why I and so many others have the same dream.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:08:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, it's been 12 years for me also. Although I used to have that dream maybe 10 times a year and now it's down to maybe 2 so at least it's getting better!
I left high school early and took the CA equivalency test to basically get my HS diploma, and I have had dreams that I have to go back and finish high school. I'm in my mid 30s.๐
I was in a fraternity and during our hell week as pledges (the final week before becoming "brothers" where they do all that homoerotic hazing shit, although part of our hazing was pretty traumatic: we had 21 in our class, and at all times during the day, there needed to be a rotation of 2 pledges watching Requiem for a Dream as it would play on repeat for a week. That's about 85 showings. I watched it probably 8-9 times in a week. Harrowing. Haunting.
And we had to sleep in the FUCKING conference room on the floor with no pillows or blankets. We basically got no sleep for a week.
I still went to class. Big freshman lecture for sociology. I fell right asleep. I wake up, and EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT ME. Why? Because everyone just took and finished the pop quiz and the professor specifically told the 80 students to not make a peep and let me just enjoy my slumber as my pop quiz stayed unpopulated.
I didn't even get to write my name on it. If it were the SATs I would have gotten a zero.
If I wasn't so exhausted I would have been more embarrassed.
Yeah I get this dream even though my college drops you from the roster if you don't attend the first class and don't respond to several emails about your absence. Like, it's literally impossible for me to do this yet it's still my biggest fear.
_1963 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have dreams that I have to go back to high school. You're all making me feel so much better about it--I'm so glad I'm not the only one!
BaryOwen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too went to a military college and I had nightmares about this while in Afghanistan.
Oddly, it makes me feel a LOT better that I'm not the only one having this fucked up dream. Been nearly 20 years for me (not including the MA, but the dreams are not about the MA) and it still happens to me on occasion. Usually it's a history class that has several required papers, and I usually find I've forgotten to attend the class and never started the papers. It's such an awful feeling to wake up with. College was not my favorite experience either.
Graduated 12 years ago. Still get this dream from time to time. It's especially silly since my college used to auto-drop people who didn't show up to the first 2 sessions.
gbleroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I take a test, got the best grade possible (30/30) and then discovered that I was not supposed to take that exam because that class was not in my schedule
I was in the military for 10 years. I have a recurring nightmare where I get called back to finish time.
rilian4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of college for near 20 years and I still have that nightmare...my college experience wasn't really that unpleasant.,
jmonty42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was a cadet at USAFA, left after two years (over 10 years ago now). Have since graduated from another non-military college, gotten married, and have kids. Almost weekly I have a dream that I am somehow back in the dormitories right before classes start for the year. I'm running around trying to figure out all the paperwork I have to go through to get myself out while also wondering if I should just stick around and finish it up this time, even though I already have a degree, and a life. It's the freakin' worst.
Zayl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did a year at West Point and this is quite literally my monthly PTSD dream. Always some weird reason I'm forced to go back and finish out, and all my old classmates are somehow senior classmen despite being over a decade ago.
pWheff ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:41:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, I've been out of school for 6 years and I still wake up in a cold sweat once or twice a year because I dreamed that I had completely forgotten I had a class and wasn't going to be able to graduate because I failed it.
I even had a dream once where it was the present and I got a call from my college saying they were revoking my degree because they notice I had forgotten to show up to a class one semester and had an F nobody had noticed.
My mother used to have a similar nightmare because she didn't take a class that was needed to graduate. She moved before she took the class at her old high school and didn't take the class after moving because they didn't make her as they assumed she had taken the class at her old school.
I've had similar dreams where I would be forced to take a class that I didn't do well in. After the class was over, I would freak out because I didn't know where my next class was. I would go the office to get some answers and they would tell me to get the hell out because I'm not supposed to be there. In more recent years, I just cut out the middle man and just hop in my car and leave.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:37:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated just over a year ago, and I occasionally have dreams where I sleep through exams in addition to the new ones where I miss my alarm for work
It's gotten more complex, now I'm told my degree is invalid due to a missing credit. I'm given the chance to make up this credit by taking a class at my high school but I also have to work my 9-5 office job somehow
I've had this one!! It's far rarer but I've had it 2-3 times now. Suddenly some random HS credit didn't count and my whole degree is in jeopardy unless I go back to HS and do it. Freaking insane.
This is my life. My girlfriend and I attended the same university for our last two years and we were in similar enough majors where we had to take the same physics, math, and elective classes so we always studied together and what not. Now she's in a DPT program and I'm working so every time she talks about studying for her test tomorrow or she's doing homework my heart jumps a little bit.
zonagree ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:41:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never had this nightmare until after I graduated. I didn't know it was common either. It's awful.
cjdeck1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's weird. I've had friends who had this dream constantly through college, but I never once had it.
Now I've been out of school for a year and it happens on a weekly basis. Definitely doesn't help that I had complications with credits for a couple classes during my senior year and all of my dreams seem to base themselves on this.
It usually corresponds to when I have deadlines at work coming up, or if I'm just super overwhelmed and worried I'll forget about something I have on my plate.
Wow, me too. 34 years old and a few times a year I dream that i find my printed class schedule folded up somewhere in my books and there is some stupid English class or something I totally forgot about.
My brain always JUSTIFIES it too. Like, before I even get the chance to go "didn't I graduate?" the dream concocts some situation where I'm getting a second degree...
I am going to my first day of college and everyone I pass is looking at me directly in the eyes like I'm some kind of abomination that they can't believe is standing right there in front of them and somehow I know that I'm late for my first class but I don't know what that first class is or where its at or anything about it beyond the fact that I'm missing it right that very moment. I focus on solutions: I need to find the computer lab and log into my account and look up my schedule and figure out where I'm supposed to be. My anxiety is bad at this point but not out of control since I know that while missing the first day is bad it's nothing that can't be fixed with an e-mail, and plus if I'm sure it won't take me more than an hour to find a computer lab and find my schedule, so it'll only be that one class I miss --- but I can't find the computer lab, I'm asking everyone where is the computer lab but they don't answer, they only stare at my eyes and look scared, which makes me wonder if I'm even speaking English or if I'm only hallucinating that I'm a human and that I'm speaking English but actually I'm some kind of inhuman monster or a retarded person who doesn't know that he's retarded --- the dream last for hours with me trying to run, doing that plodding slow dream-run that drives you crazy because the more you try the slower you seem to go --- the school is enormous and there are people everywhere and I can feel them all looking at me, making eye contact and judging, they all know that I'm missing class, that I'm irresponsible and out of my league, an impostor --- I panic and go into the nearest classroom just on the offchance that it's the right one, but of course it isn't and all eighty people inside turn to stare at me --- I realize that I don't have my bookbag, either, or any supplies, so even if I found the right place I would still be a failure, somehow, always a failure. The dream goes on for hours. The sun starts to set but I am still roaming the campus looking for a terminal to look up my schedule on. My legs feel like I'm treading through knee-deep water and everything is foggy and ethereal. It feels like it will never end and that this is my new life, a disembodied spirit wandering the campus looking for any kind of anchor that will tie me into the schedule of reality. Because what are you on a college campus without a class schedule? You're nothing. You don't belong there. You're an intruder. People are looking at me in the eyes and it hurts.
Yep did my masters in math Econ almost three years ago. Still have terrifyingly real dreams about forgetting I picked a class in biology, which results in me not getting my degree. It usually takes me a few minutes to realize I have a job and I don't live in the US anymore
pipb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated from kindergarten 20 years ago and I still have this dream.
Omigosh I'm not the only one who has this dream?! AMA REQUEST: A psychologist/psychotherapist who can explain why this fear/phenomenon is so universal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I have this dream at least once or twice a year. Sometimes I'll be in college and sometimes in high school. It never ceases to be terrifying.
II-o-II ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I started having this dream about high school a year ago, which was really weird for me. I'd be trying to get to my math class, thinking, "didn't I already do math in university...?"
I think that qualifies as a nightmare! I've had similar dreams about English class. I have a BA in English -_-
stufff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm over a decade out of law school and I still have that dream. Actually just reading about it right now sent a chill up my spine and made me wonder for half a second if there was a class I was supposed to be going to.
Podaroo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught for a while. I would still have the dream, but this time I'd signed up to teach a class, and had forgotten to prepare.
Now that I'm no longer teaching, I have happily reverted back to unprepared-student dreams.
I have never attended college or university. I have dreams where I forgot that I was enrolled, it's the first day, and can't remember my schedule or even what my first class of the day is.
Waking up in a panic from that recurring dream is fun.
When my dad was 88 and slipping into dementia, he wanted me to call McMaster (his university) to tell them he wouldn't be in that day. He graduated in 1941.
II-o-II ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also finished college years ago and have been working professionally for over a decade. Occasionally I have a dream that I'm in high school to fulfill a requirement I never met and I can't find the right class room. Even in the dream I'm walking around thinking, "This is bullshit I'm a working professional..."
When I have that dream I know that something is adding stress to my life.
Hazzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah good old British University. Where the goal is to get you a job and nobody gives a shit if you can do math, English or science.
In my dream, I have to go back to finish the course I missed like a bad Adam Sandler movie. So here I am, this grown-ass man with a degree in mechanical engineering, back in my old high school taking an English lit course because of a technicality.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped getting "late to class, legs with a ton" dreams and also "shit forgot to ever go to this class" dreams about 5-6 years after graduation. Luckily my job isn't very stressful so I never dream about it, but my first job was miserable and I dreamed about it every night.
I used to have this dream, too. It wasn't even a dream all the time...sometimes during the day I'd just panic and wonder if I was attending all my classes. Thanks for reminding me. Now I'm feeling anxious again.
MrBody42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never had this dream in school, only once I entered the workforce. Makes no sense. Additionally, in my version of this dream, I get mad at myself for singing up for a class after I've already graduated and have a job.
GerryC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated almost 10 years ago. Still wake up thinking I forgot to take a course and didn't really graduate after all....
leiphos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have that same nightmare sometimes and I graduated 5 years ago. Now that I'm a teacher, I have a variation where I miss a class as the teacher, not the student. Will it never end?!?
the last three years of my school career, i didn't attend sports. not because i was bad, quite the opposite, but if i ditched sport, i could sleep 2h longer on every monday. i ended up getting a 6 in sports. 6 is the best score. on this school, the sport teacher didn't really communicate with the rest of the school, it wasn't even in the same place. the way this worked was pretty simple, on the first day of school, the gym teacher read down every name on the list, an i wasn't on it. this is not the first time, this happened almost every year of my whole school career for whatever reason. but there was a Hannibal on the list, and we didn't have a Hannibal in class. so i was Hannibal. first thing he said was that Hannibal is a name for a horse. i pretended to be mad and just left. never went back. somehow every year at the end of the year he realised that he somewhere fucked up and just gave the guy he never saw a 6.
kingpuco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. There have been times where I've woken up with cold sweats because I've just dreamt that I woke up late for a final exam I've forgotten about.
So cool to see I'm not the only one. Such an odd thing to nightmare. Like how did I just not ever show up or do any work in this class? Wake up all sweaty and realize wtf I aced college years ago. Not even sorta on my mind yet suddenly have this dream. It never happened during college, yet 3 times after I was done.
This is the first time I've been tagged. It was driving me nuts why the message icon wouldn't go away! I was clicking every damn comment there was.
faerie87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have these dreams once a week when I was in college. Then it gradually lessened. I graduated 8 years ago and the last time I had these dreams were probably a year ago. Hang in there!
Me, too. Last one was just a couple months ago. Usually it's a math or physics class that's involved, but for some reason my last one involved ancient Egyptian poetry.
If nothing else my brain is expanding its horizons on ways to make me wake up in a cold sweat...
My second dream like this is from when I was waiting tables... I have a recurring dream that I keep getting new tables that I can't get to and it gets worse and worse.
dpalmade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 years out. pretty sure i had this dream last week.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I finally stopped having this dream, but it persisted for years. Waking up that stressed out was basically a nonviolent nightmare.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, I get one every couple months when things get stressful at work. I never have dreams about forgetting stuff at work, or forgetting about work, it's always back in college.
I too am a college grad that's had this dream, but for me, I'm always in high school for some reason.
sillyjew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 34 and I have this dream a lot. And I can never remember the combination for my locker. And I'm usually walking around the school in my underwear...
I stopped having those dreams after about 3 years of graduation. But man, that's a shitty feeling. I'm a lawyer, and when I would have those dreams, I'd dream that I was thus ineligible to sit for the Bar, and my license was revoked, and I had to tell my boss, who fired me.
oddark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, I had dreams I had to go back to elementary to finish classes I never took. In college, it was high school. Now that I'm done, I finally have the nightmares that I have to go back to college. Fuck. It's too real.
n0remack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I haven't had this dream in a long time (but I did have it). I used to have...well, I guess I would classify it as a nightmare - that I was extremely late for a presentation or an important class that it would actually kick me out of sleep and I'd wake up in a sweat and short of breath (as I was running in my sleep).
I've even woke up saying "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" to which my girlfriend at the time was super worried about me. The psychological toll school has on you
Every now and again I'll wake up thinking "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit HOW DID I FORGET THIS CLASS??? Oh wait, I graduated from college in 2010, there's my diploma."
Graduated college 5 years ago. I still have this dream a couple times a year. Odd thing is that I was a pretty good college student, never had any issues with missed assignments or worried about missing assignments. Weird that anxiety still pops this dream up for me.
JGumballs ยท 906 points ยท Posted at 15:32:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of school for 10 years and I still get this dream.
silenttd ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:43:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I start freaking out over whether or not we're past the add/drop date. Waking up and realizing I graduated 10 years ago is the most relieving feeling
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:23:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my version of this dream, it's actually part of the dream where I realize I graduated years ago. That causes me to start to panic because my degree must be invalid since I forgot this class, and now I'm about to fail a final exam I forgot to study for. My degree won't happen, I'll lose the job, everything will fall apart.
Ph0X ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a dream a lot of other people have? I have two recurring nightmares that I get fairly often.
One is very similar to these. Generally I'm late for class and don't have my schedule and don't know which class I need to go to. Or I need to go back and finish a class I missed in high school/college. Or some variation of not knowing where to go and being lost.
The other has to do with driving cars and the breaks not properly working. The car slows down but never FULLY stops. It comes all the way down to walking speed but no matter how hard I press on the breaks it never goes below that. As if I was on ice or something. And I generally tend to pass red lights or hit things and get really stressed about getting caught.
maszpiwo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:33:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost 4 years out, same thing. The class I forget is always, without fail, an English class of some sort. Guess it makes sense since I was an engineer.
I graduated uni 11 years ago, and I have not had that dream in about a year....it is possible you are in the clear.
I will let you know if further data changes the forecast.
Nabber86 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:26:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It never ends. I graduated college is 1986 and still have this dream only with a new twist that my employers want all the money back that they paid me because I really didn't have a degree.
Am 53. There is a part of me convinced I missed most of linear algebra 30 years ago.
Nabber86 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:28:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha; just turned 54. My dream gets more complicated than that. I have a college degree and a professional career that requires the degree (engineering). In my dream I never actually graduated from high school so my college degree and professional licenses are invalid. I dream that I am always trying to sneak back into high school to get my diploma, before somebody at work finds out. So there I am in my dream as a full grown man sitting in high school classes. Also I work full time, so I have to call in sick to go to high school and I can only attend 1 or 2 classes a month. Because I miss so many classes I am always failing high school and have to keep enrolling in hope that some day I will get my diploma before anyone finds out. It is insidious and has been going on for decades.
duhhuh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is that it's sometime in the first week of the semester and I'm trying to figure out what classes I'm taking and where they are, because I've somehow lost my schedule. I feel time slipping away and worrying about how I'm going to get it figured out before it's too late. Wondering if I have time to make it to the registrar's office to get a copy, then buy my books, etc.
Nabber86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah. In my dreams I finally make it to school, but cant remember what my class schedule is, where my locker is, and where the office is. By time I find the office, have them print out a copy of my schedule, find my locker and remember the combination, and show up at class the teacher is like, "Good try Nabber, but class was over 40 minutes ago and you missed another exam.".
Ribzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is horrifying. I hope you get relief from this nightmare. Seriously. Yours is the worst one I read. I feel like crying. OMG.
Same here! What is this? Why do we all have this dream? I was never even someone who worried about missing classes. My dream is usually something along the lines of realizing that I have an exam for a class I forgot about. Like I suddenly remember that I have a 2pm Math exam and I've never even been to class since they handed out the syllabus. I frantically run around campus trying to get to this class and I don't even remember exactly where it is.
Fabgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, 26yrs and I still have that dream and one where I never completed an assignment and wake up stressed until I realize my dumbass graduated 26yrs ago.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha My crazy school dream is I find myself back in high school because I failed a course and they some how missed it, so I have to repeat the course for my degrees to count. It's like Groundhog's Day in the dream because I'll "pass" the class but then I'm told I failed it yet again and must repeat it. This will happen 3 or 4 times before I wake up in a cold sweat on the verge of tears.
Twin2Win ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you present you or 25 years ago you?
campy86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I have been out of college so long and have had this dream so often, that I can't quite tell if maybe it actually happened to me.
I also have had this dream, although only once in my life, as I recall. I wonder what it says about us? I think it is a manifestation of our anxieties, that when not addressed head on, find a way to come through our dreams. My dream was set in a huge (like giant stadium) type of lecture hall. I found myself sitting down to take the final, only to realize that I never went to class and didn't know any of the material. Perhaps it's a metaphor for our inability to know anything for certain. I believe it was Socrates who said, "All I know is that I know nothing."
apparently these dreams dont go away, so you will wake up in the middle of the night when you are 60 turn to your wife and say oh "shit i overslept for the final" and your wife will tell you to go back to fucking bed, have fun with that.
I wonder if that classifies as a form of PTSD. I still have dreams of me being late to school, a test that I forgot to study for, homework I forgot to do, leaving an entire project home and everyone hating me and more. I'm 27.
ayryyn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They really don't. I've been out over 10 years and I will still get panic attacks about papers that are due that I've dreamed about. Nothing wakes you up faster.
Nabber86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or at 65 you turn over to your wife and say ,"Shit I overslept and I am going to be late for my 7 am staff meeting." Wife says, "You got pushed out of your job for being so old and we are on welfare now you moron, go back to sleep!".
I still have dreams where it's the first day of high school and there's one class I just skip. Then I skip it every day and get into shenanigans during that block. The dream goes through the entire year, and the last day I end up going to class.
I graduated in 93 also. Have the same dream about once every few months. It's oddly refreshing to read all these comments.
Wonder what it means? For me, college (engineering) was very stressful. But I've never tracked it to stressful things going on in my life.. interesting.
It's surprising to me that so many people have the same dream. I wonder if people who didn't go to college have the same dream, or what their equivalent is?
jishguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy, I always had the exact same dream.
I enrolled in a class and somehow forgot about it. Now I'm going to fail. At least 20 times during college.
I actually had this happen, a course I was wait listed for enrolled me after a few weeks into the semester, but never updated onto my blackboard portal. I only found out once my exam schedule came out and had a course I didn't recognize on it.
I did manage to get it removed in the end, but man that was a little stressful.
Seems there's a shitload of us with this exact same dream. Mine is always a math class that I forget. Sometimes the dream goes on long enough to get into the panic-inducing, pants-shittingly awful part when my employer finds out that I missed this class and I lose my job, insurance, house, family, etc. Fuck math.
I don't know why this dream was so common. Nearing the end of a semester, I would dream that there was a class I was enrolled in without my knowledge, and had never attended.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. I had this dream last night. This is too freaky
Red_Iine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same dream. Are you me?
ukl180 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes omg i have this nightmare atleast once a year and ive been out of college for a long time now, super scary
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had that dream so many times. Never happened in college but definitely some pint up/left over college anxiety. Another nightmare I still have is missing a final exam by being confused by the time because finals were longer class sessions and they were scheduled at odd/non class times at my school.
10 years out of college.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than 10 years. I don't care to say more than that...
LGbottle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to me my freshman year (but it wasn't my fault).
Someone fat fingered the wrong class onto my registration that I didn't know about (as freshman, registration was done for you after you submitted your info by mail.) It was some graduate level agricultural lab course that I had zero prerequisites for so I couldn't have even attended anyway.
Got my grade report back and it had a big fat F next to that class. Luckily the dean was able to quickly remove it from my record.
Eramy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been six years since I've graduated from my university yet every few months I have a dream that my high school admin calls me up and tells me that I'm missing a class. Both my high school and university degrees are void until I complete the class amongst a new generation of teens and I have to complete it while still working full time on probation since I no longer have appropriate credentials.
Stress dreams are brutal and will manifest in creatively cruel ways...
ncfears ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing. There's always a nagging thought that I just didn't go to one class every semester. Terrifying. It usually ends up with me checking my schedule.
Grintor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday my biology professor told me that I, in fact, should have attended an anatomy class throughout the semester. On Monday I will have an exam in both. Well, I would have failed biology anyway.
Etheno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:07:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this weird ass dream where I'm a university student but I'm also taking high school courses, so I'll only go to uni lectures then I'll show up to my old highschool and wing the final exam relying on past knowledge. I'm fucking weird.
jxl180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same dream but with loans now. I have nightmares that there is a bank out there with which I have a loan out, that I've completely forgotten about.
Had a philosophy class where a kid sat down for the final and the teacher asked him if you was in the right place since he's never seen him before.
10 people in the class and he knew everyone else by name. Never saw the kid again.
Goluxas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once a semester in the last week of two, I'd realize I hadn't gone to a couple classes since the first week. I still attempted the finals cuz maybe I could guess it and maybe it was a class that bases your grade on final score and I could still pass.
Spoiler: I dropped out after 10 semesters of this.
Right now I have this fear for one class, we show up first day, teacher says that we dont show up until we get the physical component which is 2 4 hour classes, and we get an online portion the week before. Its so unnerving being one of the last people to start it since I dont know if I am gonba forget.
I have this dream too, the best part is the feeling of relief when you wake up.
uvcr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to a good friend of mine. She thought she had withdrawn from a class after the first couple sessions, but I guess she did it wrong online or something, because she ended up with an F at the end of the semester, not having completed any assignments for a class se thought she wasn't taking.
I believe it worked out, but it took a lengthy appeal, and she was a huge ball of stress for a while about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It nearly happened to me once. I arrive in class and see everyone with a printed pile of paper, talking about it. I was a bit confused until I realized there was a paper due for this date. Oh well, I still managed to pass in the end, but that was a stressful semester since I couldn't afford bad grade in order to just pass the course let alone get a decent grade.
dd_de_b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me a lot my last semester in college. I'd wake up in the middle of the night thinking I'd completely forgotten to attend a class the whole semester
Warro726 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school automatically drops you from a class if you miss the first class. I guess its a good thing so something like this wont happen. What will happen though is your proffesor ot marking you there and you getting dropped. Now you have to fight with the school to get put back in, its a ton of fun trust me.
virgnar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had this actually happen once in high school. I was doing pretty well in all my classes except History. For some reason, I was always, always, always forgetting about that class. It was a complete blind spot in my memory.
At the end, I had a 4% grade in it because I failed to turn anything in, study for any quizzes/tests, etc. The teacher was willing to catch me a break for final exam if I met a certain grade on it but I couldn't even meet that.
That class still haunts me on occasion, and has made me paranoid on turning stuff in every class afterwards, even after I've been to college.
RawbM07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this dream too...Also I was a swimmer and I have a dream where I find out state finals is that day and I haven't trained. Same type of thing.
I've been out of school for 11 years and I still get this dream.
iTedRo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this same dream all the time. Sometimes I rush to it and it's in my old high school...?
Anyway have a nice day :3
hilld1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school had a system to prevent that. If you didnt show up to 3 or more classes by mid-term, you would automatically be withdrawn.
stufoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. Mine is I have to go back to middle school math. I can never find the classroom or even the office to show them my diploma that no, I've already done this, please don't make me do it again.
millos15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is always a calculus course.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This shit actually happened to me, but on a small scale.
I had signed up for a one-credit hour course where you get a little credit for writing for the school paper while being advised by the professor who runs it. I forgot and never went to any meetings since it's not on your schedule. I realized it two weeks from end of term. It's not that one hour worth of an F would tank my GPA too hard but obviously I don't want anything that low on it at all.
I call the professor to plead my case and he says:
"The point of the course is to get credit for writing for the paper. You didn't so I'm not giving you credit."
I go into full pleasing and basically offer that if he will give me a passing mark, I'll be there for the last 3 years of my college career. He actually agreed to give me a C and took my word. I went and a year later was the columnist and was eventually named Best Writer (actual end of year award) for the paper by the same teacher. So it worked out but man was I sweating at the start.
I actually did this. Signed up for a 6 week seminar and forgot so completely that, 10 years later when I went back to school, the admissions counselor asked what had happened (like, "you mostly seem like a really good student, what happened in this class?") I still didn't remember being enrolled. Luckily it was a 1 credit seminar so it didn't fuck up my GPA that much.
I have the same dream but I'm still in High School. I graduated college in 2004. Weird.
k2t-17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is that I'm 2 classes short that I didn't know about. About once a month and I'm 6 years out of College.
Araama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband claims he signed up for a weightlifting class. Just as an easy A, type of thing. He forgot he had it. Never went to a class. Looked at his grades after finals, he had a B.
SotaCane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. I graduated in 2015 and I still have this dream regularly. It's super fucked.
I've been out of uni for 3-4 years, and I've had the same recurring dream since my junior year. I keep thinking I just skipped the same class for the same semester, and that my degree is illegitimate.
I finished my masters a year ago and still have an anxiety problem on Sundays, feeling like I have work that needs done because all work was due by Sunday evening midnight.
I have the exact same dream, but I'm a teacher so I also have an alternate dream where it's the first day of school and I haven't prepared anything.
Jushak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psff, I randomly had nightmares where I "realized" I had somehow managed to miss some mandatory course for well over an year after graduating from university.
I took a class that weighted the final over everything else, so I was planning on just showing up on test day and acing it (because I already knew the subject matter inside and out).
Show up on test day and they had moved the class and I didn't know where.
anras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa I have a similar dream too even though I graduated from college long ago. The dream is that somehow I procrastinate or miss the class, first it's just once then it happens again and again and I lose track of how many classes I've missed. Next thing I know I've failed.
[deleted] ยท 1230 points ยท Posted at 15:54:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have a friend who is a professor. He told me about a student that was failing pretty hard. Near the end of the term, the student pleaded for extra credit to bring his grade up. My friend, being an understanding guy, eventually relented, saying "if you do x, I'll give you a passing grade." My friend never heard from the student again until the grades came out for that term, and naturally, the student failed because he didn't do the extra credit work. The student was pissed and actually tried issuing a complaint with the dean about my friend. He hasn't offered extra credit since.
Edit: I misremembered. It wasn't extra credit; he offered the student the opportunity to turn in some assignments the student had never completed. I'm a liar. I'm sorry, reddit.
College and gym are the only places where people don't care about not taking advantage of services they paid for. But only in college will they celebrate.
This is true enough that it kind of worries me, because I'm just as guilty of it.
"I hope we don't have class today," makes zero sense when you stop to think. You might as well be saying "I hope we don't have one of the sessions that is part of the thousands of dollars I'm paying."
Imagine that applied elsewhere.
"I hope my new car doesn't work today."
"I hope I don't get my food order today."
rcl2 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then they'll hop on reddit and complain about why they can't get a job.
You still call somone that graduated medical school barely passing at the bottom of the class "doctor". Employment rates track with graduation, but not with time spent in school or information retention. If school were actually about learning, you'd see a smoother curve in the graph of employment or earnings vs time spent in school instead of the plateaus and huge jumps you actually see.
The reasoning behind your generalization is wrong, that is.
Pjcrafty ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true. Someone skating by at the bottom of their class may not match into a residency position and may, in fact, not be able to become doctors. And if they do match, it won't be anywhere desirable or in a desirable specialty.
You say that like a counterpoint. Do you really think how hard you work predicts success? If so, that means the richest people work the hardest, the demographics with the best employment rates work the hardest, and unemployment is a direct result of not working hard enough.
Pjcrafty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How hard you work as compared to your demographic predicts success compared to other members of that demographic, yes. Some people have to work less hard to get to a high place, or may have more help along the way. But someone in the same demographic who works harder will have more success than someone in that same demographic with the same advantages who doesn't.
So a rich person may have a leg up in getting into a prestigious college or grad school, since they'll be able to afford more quality SAT prep and will likely not have to work a job in high school or college to stay afloat. But if someone just as rich has a higher GPA than them and has more marketable skills due to self improvement, obviously that second person will be more desirable when hiring for prestigious and well-paying positions.
bs. you just have to put in once you get in the workforce and carve a name out where it actually counts. yes the person that comes first is going to get a better gig straight out of uni but then you are all back to bottom rung on the corporate ladder.
i graduated close to last in my class...the only one to have not lined up a job straight after and now am more successful and earn more than nearly all of them. im good at my job but university was just a nice place to grow up for a bit longer and have fun.
i certainly didnt take lecturers reading from the notes for an hour, assignments that took days and were worth 1/2 a percent of your final mark or in some instances lecturers who didnt even know the topic and were teaching us about legislation that was repealed two pieces of legislation ago seriously.
Insurance is different. You're still using it when you're not collecting benefits. It's a safety net in case something bad happens.
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean when things do go badly. Some people won't use it because their premiums will go up. Get in a little fender bender and some will just drive it like that for years.
That's why I don't have a late work policy anymore. Most people who missed the primary deadline, never wound up handing it in anyway. And if they did, they would get shitty because I told them that late papers got pushed to the bottom of my priority list and I took a few weeks (month, whatever) to get to them.
djn808 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:26:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've finished assignments at 2 Am that had a 6 AM upload deadline. I attached the assignment but forgot to hit Submit before passing out (After being in the computer lab from Thursday afternoon to Monday at 2 AM trying to finish it).
Thankfully, our TAs were understanding.
grubas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TAS have to put up with a lot of shit. When I was a TAS the grades had to be submitted to the professor within like a week. I can't wait until I get to be a bitter old professor.
Also a lot of TAS are grad students, they have a tough life.
Korashy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:32:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a college professor who let us make up tests every time we had a new test. Took all 6 tests (including the final) in one sitting at the end of the semester.
Was pretty crazy though, there was a line twice around the building of people waiting to take/retake tests/final. I just walked to the very front, waited a minute for the doors to open and walked in. I was not gonna fail that class!
The ones who don't turn their work in on time and then whine on the course evaluations that you don't grade and return their work in a timely manner are just the best.
at my current university there is a university-wide policy that you may NOT offer extra credit unless everyone in the class has the same opportunity to do the extra credit. So if one kid is failing, you can't offer them extra credit unless the whole class is offered a chance to do it too.
I wish this was policy at more schools. It's hard to explain how offering extra credit to only one student is unfair to the others who could also benefit.
Yes. It's basically saying "You didn't do this thing/these things that everyone else did, but I'm going to give you a different assignment that is probably easier, and you have the chance to get the same grade they got for less work." Not to mention it makes more work for the professor. I tell my studnets that I don't give extra credit, because I based these assignments on what they need to learn AND what I have time to grade thoughtfully (giving them feedback) and I'm not going to add more assignments and make more work for me.
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 19:29:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The extra credit doesn't bring them to the same grade, it brings them to a passing grade. It's pretty much a second chance. That being said your job as a teacher is to teach. That means you need to find out how the students learn and grade them based on what's easier for them, not for you. If a student dies not learn based on your metric, then you have failed them. You should give them the chance to show you that they learned, instead of denying then because they didn't learn your way.
That means you need to find out how the students learn and grade them based on what's easier for them, not for you.
Um, no. I am in a professional program. My job is to get students to the standards set by the accrediting bodies from which they will get the license they need to legally perform their job. All of my assignments are designed with that goal in mind. When I say I base these assignments on what I have time to grade thoughtfully, I mean the TIME I am giving them--in other words, I am not giving busy work or useless work just to be giving a grade, or giving an assignment that is due when I am not going to have time to grade it. I am also not making up some bullshit busy work at the end of the semester because you were too lazy to do the work set out for you at the beginning, work that was designed to help you learn what you need to learn. THAT'S WHY I ASSIGNED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. If you do it and don't do well I am happy to help you, but do not think you can simply not do the assignment and then ask for a different one (I'm not giving you a different one because it's against university policy anyway).
natha105 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:59:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, how much of your grade should be based on your ability to get things done on time, and how much should be based on what you learned (regardless of any other consideration). If someone did an extra credit project that really demonstrated that they had learned the material backwards and forwards it would be nice to give them the opportunity to pass the class.
But if another student attended class and understands the material, shouldn't they have the chance to do the same extra credit to (for instance) raise their grade from a B+ to an A-? Why should the only person who gets a massive bonus opportunity be the biggest slacker?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that they are the biggest slacker, it might be their learning style. They might learn in a way that the school cannot accommodate for, such as at home learning at their own pace. The student that attended the class and got a good grade was able to learn in a way that the school could accommodate for. It would be unfair for the student who the school couldn't accommodate for be denied the grade due to the nature of their learning. They already suffer through not attaining a grade that their peers could attain simply because of their preferred style of learning.
Tl:dr, they aren't all slackers and most of the time the teachers that give a chance for extra credit have already identified the student as being successful if given the chance.
Look, in college, you get stuff done by the end of the semester or you don't get it done. We don't have unlimited amounts of time and energy to just do stuff whenever students get around to getting it in. We have deadlines we have to report on.
That still doesn't explain why all the kids in the class shouldn't get an equal chance to do equal extra credit. Maybe the kid with a B+ also doesn't learn well in lecture, but they worked their ass off all semester to manage their school work within their personal strengths and weaknesses to pull off that B+. But the prof doesn't know that because that kid isn't coming to them in desperation in the last week of the semester begging for a way out of a failing grade.
At the college level, if you're failing in the last week of the semester, unless you had some real extenuating circumstances (like extended illness or death of an immediate family member or things like that), you either shouldn't have been in that class in the first place (because you lack the appropriate background courses or you're just not smart enough) or you were irresponsible and didn't keep on top of the work. There's no excuse to go whining to the prof right at the bitter end and profs who cave to that type of student are hurting the students who were responsible and kept on top of things throughout the semester. If your learning style doesn't work well with a particular course's structure, it's on you to figure that shit out at the beginning of the semester and work harder to make up for it or discuss your options with the professor at the beginning of the semester (or choose not to take that class if it's not required).
for my particular degree program (music education) it is most definitely to prepare for a specific career. I stress the kinds of knowledge, skills, and dispositions they need to get and keep a teaching job and to be good at it. Also, most other jobs that require a college degree do so less for the specific field of study and more because having a college degree implies that you can meet certain goals and deadlines.
also, look. You have a syllabus at the beginning of the semester. It tells you the policies for that class. If you don't like those policies, don't take the class. If it says up front "turn assignments in on time or there is a penalty," then do it or don't take the class. Don't just not do the work and expect the professor to bend to your every whim. Take a different class or go to a different school.
Well there's a difference between not getting it in on time and not doing it period or doing it all last minute. I've had professors nice enough to give me SOME credit for doing every single assignment late.
Tell that to my inbox at the end of every semester. I always get a few per class saying that it can't hurt to ask because they desperately need X grade for something or other.
My response to "but I need an A to keep my scholarship/stay on the sportsball team!!" is "why the hell weren't you concerned about this the first few weeks of class when you didn't show up, completed no assignments, and participated in no class activities?" I was a scholarship student too, and this was before the days of Blackboard/Canvas when you had a running total of your grade at all times. I determined what I needed to do to get the grade I needed, then fucking did it, and asked for help if I had trouble.
Maybe they refer to how students might dislike that teacher relative to one's who don't have that policy? If the policy is university wide, then you have a better excuse for it.
That is reasonable but extra credit shouldn't really be a thing. It should be down to re doing assignments or tests that they did poorly on. If they get a better mark it means they learnt and if not either the teacher or the student needs to work on themselfs.
Yeah, I agree. I don't offer extra credit. I will give a student an opportunity to re-do an assignment, if their poor grade was due to not understanding and not just not putting in the effort. And I'll give extensions if a student has made the effort to start and just needs more time to do a good job.
It's the flip side of the "Well, it's not on the syllabus so I don't have to do it" argument.
"I'm sorry, but the grading policy is spelled out at the beginning of the semester and there's no provision for extra credit".
That said, if there's a legit problem (someone's in a car wreck or family member dies or something) I'll go out of my way to help them, but not just "is there something I can do..."
That said, if there's a legit problem (someone's in a car wreck or family member dies or something) I'll go out of my way to help them, but not just "is there something I can do..."
Yes. I include a statement on my syllabus, and say it the first day of class, that if you just don't come to class I'm not going to help you, but if something happens and you get hit by a bus or get Peruvian Death Flu, I will work with you. (On the syllabus it says something like "The instructor has the right, but not the obligation, to make accommodations for serious extenuating circumstances.")
On the other hand, my dad is really willing to work with students by giving them extensions or extra credit and he's gotten some really good results.
Yeah, there's always the students who ask for extra credit, get an opportunity, and then blow it because they secretly just want you to hand them a better grade. But there's also people who just had a really shitty, hard semester and honestly want to do well. To be fair, he teaches fairly basic, introductory math at a commuter college, though, so he has more single moms trying to better themselves than whiny, entitled college freshman.
I one time asked him why he kept giving people second chances and accepting their shitty excuses. He told me that he's there to teach, not to punish people for not having their lives in perfect order. And that as long as they're willing to work, he's willing to help.
I have tons of memories of his former students coming up to him and thanking him for teaching them that they can do math and for always being willing to work with them. One even went on to become an engineer after thinking he was terrible at it for most of his life.
sadly, there are quite a few who are NOT willing to work. those are the ones that we're complaining about here. I will never turn away a student who is willing to learn and try. But if you just fuck off and then come crying at the end of the semester... nope.
McWaddle ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:13:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The students that will do extra credit work don't need the extra credit, and the ones that do need it won't do the work.
fdar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:21:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In one of my upper lever classes you could redo the problems you got wrong in the HW to get a portion of the points you lost back.
I felt that was a good way of helping the students that were struggling but willing to do the work while being fair to everybody.
It also encourages students to look over the HW and understand what they got wrong.
If I was a professor, my extra credit would be offered to everyone, and unless you submitted everything else for the semester, you were ineligible. If I had someone who was audacious enough to ask if they could submit earlier assignments, I would say "Yes. But you will still get 0s on them. If you take them seriously then you may submit the extra credit assignment same as everyone else." Extra credit should make up for doing poorly on an assignment, not save your grade because you didn't bother doing the work assigned during the semester.
Extra credit should make up for doing poorly on an assignment, not save your grade because you didn't bother doing the work assigned during the semester.
Yes, it's EXTRA credit. Not "substitute" credit.
fdar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:23:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In one of my upper lever classes you could redo the problems you got wrong in the HW to get a portion of the points you lost back.
I felt that was a good way of helping the students that were struggling but willing to do the work while being fair to everybody.
It also encourages students to look over the HW and understand what they got wrong.
I always tell the kids who try to ask for extra credit after doing nothing all semester that extra zero is still zero.
grubas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try the shock and horror when a parent calls you office because their kid never submitted anything. Or submits a form letter about how he wants to sue you for discrimination. In college.
At my college some professors (depending on what they're teaching) will just drop the lowest scoring quizzes at the end of the semester. These are usually 5 or 10 point quizzes, nothing major, but they're frequent enough that it's easy to miss them if you get sick or decide to cut class.
My history professor also tells us at the beginning of the semester that he takes participation and obvious evidence of trying hard (emails, meetings outside of class in his office, asking questions, etc.) to help him determine how much he should bump a grade up. Someone with a D+ that would just need 5 more points would get that C- if they proved their interest and willingness to learn in the ways I just described.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned years ago not to believe random statements people make about people they know, unless I also talk to the other side, to be fair.
jctheslp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care what people say or think.. free college for everyone AND then no college dumbass left behind. What a great society of "educated" degreed dumbasses we could have. Logical? Oh absolutely, no doubts /s
Teach engineering classes at junior/senior level. Had a student miss an exam. No problem, arrange for a make-up exam that she never shows up for. Schedule another...
Well after four of these she showed up at my office to schedule yet another and I simply said "No".
She scampered off to bitch at the department head about what a jerk I was.
yanney33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a college senior, i got sick a lot and ended up missing one of my classes a lot. At our school, they issue you a warning when you are on the brink of failing, but its confidential information.
wouldnt ya know, the teacher decided to walk into class one morning and tell everyone that i got one of those warnings. she knew she fucked up immediately and gave me a passing grade once i spoke to the Dean about it.
I am a university professor. Extra credit opportunities should never been offered to only one student (or a few students). If there is to be extra credit, it must be offered to the entire class and sufficiently in advance (not after grades are out). It is very common for students to request extra credit only for them. I say "no" and explain why it would be unfair to the rest of the class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this was when he was first starting out. He initially said no for the reasons you mentioned, but the kid wore him down and compassion got the better of him. Live and learn.
In senior year of high school I had this class, Civics or Government or some such nonsense. Right before graduation, I am told I'm flunking due to "non-participation." In other words, I passed all my tests but didn't do homework and slept through class more often than not. This really pissed off the teacher, for whatever reason. I mean, it's not like I was disruptive. If I had to guess, I'd say it was her ego. This broad loved the sound of her own voice. She was also a big Rush Limbaugh fan and most of her "lectures" were just her opinions, really. It was kind of a bullshit class.
Be that as it may, I still needed it to graduate. I realized my final exam didn't count enough toward my grade to carry me through, I asked her if I could make up any of the work. She said if I did all of the homework and wrote essays for each chapter we'd covered for the entire year, not just the semester, she would accept them and I could pass.
I pulled all-nighters for the next week, busted my ass, all while working a full-time job in the afternoon/evenings (I only had 3 classes senior year) and I got everything done. When I handed it to her, the look on her face told me she never expected me to actually follow through. She tossed it in the garage and said it "wouldn't be fair" to the other students who had been doing their work all along.
Summer school wasn't bad. Not as fun as certain Mark Harmon films portray, but it went at a faster pace so I wasn't as bored. Also, I liked the teacher. He was a cantankerous old bastard who was very fun to debate.
About a year or so later, I was working in a bookstore when this customer starts talking to me like she knows me. I really had no idea who she was. This seemed to upset her greatly. I gave her the polite customer service "I see a lot of people" line. About halfway through our exchange, I realized she was that shitty teacher, but I kept pretending not to know her. I like to think it took her down a peg. Sure seemed like it.
SaskaVeg ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:02:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 10 years out of university and lately I have been having this dream where I enrolled in several university classes but forgot entirely to attend a single class. It's interesting to see it is a reality for some.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What would happen to you in your country if it was the case ?
SaskaVeg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be out a couple thousand and get to add a failed university class to my CV
When I was a Freshman, I was assigned a single credit honors program class. I couldn't find the building so I never went. At the end of the semester, I earned a "B".
Professor looks over his grade list with a serious hangover after an end of semester party. Sees that one student somehow has zero points. Shit, must have accidentally deleted his column in my spreadsheet. Shit, why don't I have backups? Shit, I need to drink less.
The professor doesn't really care about this one credit bullshit class anyway, so it's less effort to just give out a B and hope it was right. And if the student does show up with proof that he should get an A, then he'll change the grade. Because why should he care? He wanted to do research, not babysit ungrateful kids.
I get a lot of surprise when I tell students that they're failing or on a track to failing. My response is always the same - did you come to class? Did you participate? Did you do your homework/write your essays? If the answer to any of those questions is no, how can you be surprised that you're failing?
Oh my god, I teach university mathematics. While the lower level classes are the worst about this, I had too many students in my Calc class do this (in general, students doing Calc are a little more motivated and ambitious in their math classes than those who just need college algebra).
What made it more annoying is that all their grades were posted online and the grading scale was in the syllabus. You're in Calculus. You should be able to compute your own grade, and make projections about how well you need to do on all future assignments to pass.
If you actually know the material, then the assignments are going to be easy and not take very much time. But even if you know it perfectly, practice and repetition are the key to making it stick in your memory in the long run.
People who take pride in not trying hard at anything get a harsh lesson when they're in the workforce. No one cares if you only spent an hour working on your project if the guy who spent 8 hours did a better one. Maybe you could have done just as good of a job, but you didn't. And results talk.
And what you think of as "Mickey Mouse" assignments might have a deeper purpose than you imagine. Don't assume a teacher is just giving you make work. :)
Not the OP, but my mom's a professor and has a lot of stories like this, and they often end with the student going "well what can I do to bring it up?" or asking for extra credit or some variation on that theme. Like they think they can just not come to class the whole semester (because hey it's college! You don't HAVE to show up if you don't want to!) and then do one big dump of "makeup work" and pass with whatever grade they "need."
I had a class once where we had a weekly homework assignment and test. If your test grade was higher than your homework grade he would use the test grade for both. You could take the tests at any point in the semester. I went in the second week and took every single test and got an A on all of them. Never stepped foot in the room again. Easiest class I ever took.
I had a class just like that, but the Professor also liked to gamble so he would challenge anyone to a game where you would both draw a card and whomever had the highest would win. The bet at stake was your grade, he either gave you a 100 (highest grade) or a 0 (which would absolutely destroy your GPA and eliminate you from school benefits (high grades meant the university would only charge you 15 US per semester).
Not one person had ever taken him on that bet, but I also being the gambling type (hating that class also influenced) decided to go for it. He was so impressed that someone actually did it that he just told me he liked my confidence and told me there was no need to draw, i had my 100 and I could leave for the rest of the semester.
No money was given and if you wanted to take his bet you had to see him after class so no. No standing ovation or money. But I did get to skip that shitty class.
Also if this is the type of college story you call bullshit on, you either didn't go to college or just had a very boring college life...
Edit: Also not American, therefore a 100 dollar bill would have been strange.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the inverse of that, I had a professor that calculated your class grade a week before the final exam and if it was above a B you could choose not to take the final and that was that. Most of the class had Cs or lower because they never showed up or studied for the quizzes so they had to stay. It was History of Television so I think a lot of them took it as a throwaway course and didn't realize a class about TV could be hard.
I have a friend who got so sick of that shit that he just said, "sure, write me a paper of each of [6 topics], minimum 10.000 words each. You will earn the average of the 6 essays as your grade. You have until the essay submission date [6 days later]."
Funnily enough, that's still his only extra credit assignment to never been accepted.
The entire class is essay based, and he simply picked a number. He reckoned 1-2000 words per essay, 3 drafts and the research, references and bibliography.
hey it's college! You don't HAVE to show up if you don't want to!
You don't have to come to class. I, in turn, don't have to pass you. :) I also don't have to write you a recommendation letter. :)
Azten ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:03:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was just "Oh". I didn't actually say "What do you think you'd have?" to him. He dropped the class the next week
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:33:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was probably either a) hoping that he hadn't missed any important assignments/tests yet. I had a couple classes in college that just had midterms and a final, HW was for our own benefit and not graded. Or b) he had been expecting a friend to do all his assignments for him, and didn't know that they weren't actually doing so.
[deleted] ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 14:53:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Azten ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:26:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since it was 0%, maybe I should have told him it was a F-?
I thought he meant what grade as in 1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade, etc. I was just going to say, how the heck did he make it to college? Thankfully that's not the case. Still pretty bad though.
You joke, but my sophomore year, I dropped a class I wasn't interested in . . . only I somehow screwed up and never dropped it, a fact I only found out come finals week when the professor emailed apologetically admitting he had lost my graded binder. He asked if I'd be willing to accept a B+ overall because he remembered me as a good student, or I could turn all my papers in if I still had copies.
I used to have a recurring nightmare where I'm back in college and realize halfway through the semester that I'd completely forgotten one of my classes and was completely fucked. I'd then wake up and reassure myself that there's no way, nobody's that stupid.
At least he wasn't living out the "show up in class and realize you've got no clothes on" nightmare.
I had an online student last quarter who didn't participate in any discussion, missed the term paper, submitted zero assignments, and skipped the midterm and final. However he did do several of the weekly quizzes (albeit poorly) and ended up with a final grade of around 7% in the class. Amazing.
Online classes wrecked me with dreams that I enrolled in a class, but then never participated in it, especially the online discussions ; even years after graduating.
You don't get exactly 0% without putting in any effort. That takes years of dedication to ones craft that isn't learned overnight
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well I know people who have gotten a passing grade after not showing up to any classes or exams. So maybe he felt lucky that you'd screw up. Or seriously doubt yourself enough to give him a C.
when i was in college, i took a sociology of law class during one semester. i went to the class twice before the midterm (the only work/grades in the class were the midterm exam and final exam). went to one class during the second half of the semester (the last class before the exam). also grew a terribly cheesy mustache for the first time during this time period. show up to the review / last class, and the professor asks: "Who are you?"
I respond: "Wholesalefish, i think i need to speak with you after class"
Professor: "I don't think we have anything to speak about".
took the exam, after which the professor suggests i meet him during office hours the next day. he tells me that he doesn't care about my bullshit, doesn't want to hear any excuses... but if i will sit in on the course during the next semester and take the exams over again, he will replace my grade with the one i earn over the fall semester. "great..." i think to myself. "another chance, better not blow it." fall semester rolls around... i make my first appearance of the semester in the professor's office during office hours a couple weeks before the semester is over.
me: "so what did you want me to do regarding earning my grade for the course?"
professor: "grumble, grumble... ugh... just go, and i will think about what to do with you."
me: "ok, just let me know..."
2 weeks later i had a B- for the course. all my other grades for all my other courses though, i had to earn (many on a fairly tough curve).
edit: all the time i spent not going to class, i actually spent developing a particular hobby/skill that would lead to an exciting job/career years down the road... so it was time well spent, in my opinion.
poloport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you let work you into a D?
Azten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably could have pulled that off, but he dropped the class the next week.
ademnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Just wanted to make sure I didn't jeopardize my F. I might have accidentally participated in class and gotten a D."
I had a friend have that happen to him by accident. There were two sections of the class he was registered for, and he went to the wrong section the entire year. No on notified him - he even took the midterm in the wrong section and no one said a word.
Oh man, I just had this guy last semester. He sat down for the final, and I seriously thought he was just a mistaken student in the wrong class (I often had the next hour's students waiting outside the door). I asked if he was in the right class, he laughed and said yes.
I looked up his name. He only attended the midterm and final. Except in this course, there is WAY more work than that. Even if he aced both (though he got a D on the midterm), he'd fail the course.
I informed him of this. He looked a little distraught, then left.
uencos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure that you weren't trapped in somebody else's dream?
I've got parents that were refugees of war. Family on both my sides lost their homes to communist insurgency. I think about this everyday and it motivates me to capture any opportunity I can get.
Half the world would give anything, life, limb, eyes, a dick sucking, to be able to attend a 1st world college.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this before tbh. I was hoping he would be all like "but this is how you can change it"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this nightmare a couple times a year, I graduated 2 years ago
This reminds me of something I did in college. I was friends with this girl who had a class shortly after one of my classes in an adjacent classroom. So I would often see her and talk to her in the hall. Sometimes, I would sit in the classroom with her until her class was about to start. One day they were having a quiz, this time, instead of leaving, when the teacher came in I stayed seated. The teacher handed out the quiz and I put a fake name on it and proceed to fill it in with the most ridiculous bullshit I could think of. About 5 min later everyone else is still taking the quiz and I walk up hand mine in and leave the classroom. Good times.
I once went to a marketing class for the first 5 weeks of a semester. The first test rolls around and turns out I'm not in Principles of Marketing... I'm in sports marketing. Luckily the classes are so similar, the profs work it out with the dept head and I manage to stay in my original class and transfer the grade to principles. I still grab beers with that marketing professor occasionally.
Plot twist: It was the silent kid, and you mixed him up with the actual never-there-guy, a solid A grade student in your book.
Itoggat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to know his reaction
Azten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just an "Oh" you could tell that he understood now that I laid out that there wasn't a single thing turned in by him. He dropped the class the next week.
C_h_a_n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went a full semester to a class it turns out I never really sign up, just I tought I did. It was the only class I regularly attend that year.
Well I once TRIED to fail a class because I wanted to retake it to full grasp the material before I progressed to the next class. I didn't take the midterm, the final, I didn't do probably about the last half of assignments, and didn't show up for about the last half either. I still passed with a C somehow. I think my professor thought he was doing me a favor but her fucked me since me passing meant I couldn't retake the class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Jordan won 6 championships
Sambri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where is the Great Wall of China?
There were parts of the Great Wall in what is nowadays North Korea and Mongolia (the Wall isn't a single wall, but a group of several, that were built, expanded and abandoned for a long time).
Ugh, this fucking kid, I'm sure everyone has one in their grade. The type that is told his answer is wrong but somehow won't accept it and defends his factually wrong answer with the weirdest, bullshit logic.
It was the year that the game FABLE came out and the slogan was "For every decision, a million outcomes." This kid was in my 9th grade English class and we were learning about actual Fables. This kid asks the teacher "Doesn't the word fable mean for a single decision, there's a million outcomes?"
Cue everyone in the class slowly turning their heads to look at him.
The teacher said "No, a fable is a short story or tale used to establish or show ethics and morals" (something along those lines, aka THE ACTUAL MEANING OF THE WORD FABLE)
The kid goes "oh, well I think you're wrong cause there's this game that came out and in the commercials it says for every decision there's a million outcomes."
The teacher and this kid literally argued about the meaning of the word fable for like half an hour in class and everyone's telling the kid he's wrong and he refuses to accept it because the "commercial said otherwise" (he didn't actually use the word otherwise, im sure that it's out of his vocabulary range, but he refused to relent)
Mafros99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am so sorry. Also don't forget the wonderful alternative roles for an "Uncle Dave" in the popular imagination, aka caricature redneck, drunkard, or conspiracy theorist type weirdo. I actually have an Uncle Dave too lol.
lydsbane ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:38:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class with a guy who sat there and talked about irrelevant things for twenty minutes. The teacher just sat back and smiled indulgently because he didn't care. He got paid, either way. I finally got frustrated enough to say, "Are you done yet? The rest of us want to get through this." And he said, "Don't speak until you're spoken to."
In case it wasn't clear, I'm female. I was so enraged by his remark and I couldn't do anything about it because I don't believe in smacking the crap out of anyone, no matter how misogynistic they are. I couldn't form words. I ended up putting my head down and crying. I was twenty-one, at the time.
lekoman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:32:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fake news before it was cool.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:04:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The type that is told his answer is wrong but somehow won't accept it and defends his factually wrong answer with the weirdest, bullshit logic.
We have millions of people like that in the planet. And they have access to internet. And they vote. And they are elected. And they can start wars.
Beviah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this all too well.
I was in English class as well when something similar occurred. We were going over the Holocaust (as a refresher since where I live, the Holocaust is taught in early to late middle school, and this was an honors English level senior class), because we were going to delve into some Holocaust related literature. At which point, one girl pipes up and says "The Holocaust wasn't real. I've never seen evidence of it." (Mind you, my English teacher is Jewish) At which point, he gave her the biggest "you're a fucking idiot" face in the world, and calmly asked why she thought this, at which point she replied "Well, I've never seen anything to prove it happened, so, I say it never happened." Myself, nor my friends could control our laughter at this point, and my teacher just told her, and I quote "Please shut up, I don't want to have this discussion right now."
Rumor has it that there was a fairly heated discussion after class, which supposedly didn't go her way at all.
This one kind of pisses me off because back when I was in school the teacher would point to/hand us a dictionary to look it up. Then we had to read the definition to the class. There's no way that argument would have happened.
Ryan checking in! Not all Ryans are turds! I believe in evolution, notably not an asshole, and never even played Fable. Also, my co worker is Ryan, great guy. That's at least 2 non-asshole Ryans. Personally, Kyles fit this description in my life.
I had a friend who was on the debate team and would argue after he knew he was wrong just for fun. I learned this after arguing with him for far too long that it was not possible to get going faster than the speed of light by "putting a nuke in a big funnel and putting a space ship in front of it." I ended up talking about him with my econ teacher and telling her this, and she was really happy to learn it because apparently he'd been eating up class time just arguing random points. He got mad at me for ruining his fun.
Knew a kid who insisted that North Little Rock was North of us because it has north in the name. Google maps was also apparently wrong for displaying it to the south
Hobo1107 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least you didn't have to do anything but listen to them argue for most of the period (unless it was double English)
A guy in my first-year high school German class wondered how the Germans got so quick at translating all those English words in their heads into German when they spoke.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:20:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Along the same lines, a girl in my French class asked "how young do they teach babies in France the French language?". It took us all a few minutes to ascertain what she meant. She thought all babies were born speaking English and had to learn a second language.
HKei ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:23:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if they're fluent in english they probably do when they're communicating in english. Most people subvocalize their thoughts, and it is incredibly inefficient to think a thought in one language, translate it and only then say something, not to mention all the hard to impossible to translate language specific features like common idioms.
cetren ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:27:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. This was a serious question about the average Chinese person...
Huh. I've always assumed in the language that they write, which makes no sense, because not all people are literate.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:28:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While that question is stupid, the implications of the answer is actually interesting. The language that people think in does inform and effect their behavior.
fizbin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:17:20 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ISTR an AskReddit thread from a while ago where a guy who'd spent time teaching English in Japan got a similar question from a little five-year-old Japanese kid about when they make kids in America use the English names for things. (instead of the "real" (i.e. Japanese) names)
Had a pupil ask me if the Sun they saw in America was the same as the Sun we saw here in Scotland, and why was their Sun so much warmer...
EDIT - ITT:People acting like knowing what the Sun is, and that there's only one, requires any more than nursery level knowledge of astronomy. The kid was 15.
AJS97 ยท 4683 points ยท Posted at 14:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Living in Scotland, this one isn't hard to believe.
Edinburgh is a magical place. I once spent two warm, gorgeous days and evenings there in late August. Upon returning to the US, I was recounting this visit with my grandfather. He said the coldest he had ever been in his entire life (he grew up in Indiana) was in Edinburgh in late August.
Connoire ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not as good as a few years ago. Page 3 will never be the same.
afihavok ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:48:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most beautiful summers I've ever experienced were in Scotland. 60-70F and sunny just about the entire summer. Now I live in TX, where it's 90-110F and the sun beats you like a drum the entire damn summer. Then it gets cold for a while but no snow. Then it's nice for about a week and back to 100F.
We do so have a sun! She is however a stone cold bitch. She warms up for one day a year, where everyone goes mad and you cannae find a seat in a beer garden and ye see folk sunbathing in Lidls carpark (true story, sunbathing couple on the grassy bit at lidl near the southern in Glasgow).
Cannon1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:59:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like if we ignore the first part, this is a legitimate question.
DC-3 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 15:54:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Making a valid observation about the world, and being able to think about the problem in the abstract enough to create a valid hypothesis for why it might be the case is literally the opposite of stupid.
It's not actually that far off an entrance interview question one of the physics lecturers liked to use at my uni, he would ask people why we have seasons. Everyone's first response was to talk about the tilt of the planet but very few followed the reasoning through, at least not without prompting, to be able to explain why that caused a change in temperature.
Pretty sure it's colder in America than in Europe on the same latitude due to currents. Madrid is on the same latitude as New York. I'm guessing they're talking about Arizona and such, which I'm pretty sure has more to do with rain shadow than the tilt of the Earth.
Sincerely, not an expert on the topic.
zverkalt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:13:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, the further south you go the sun feels warmer. When I go from NC down to Florida the sun in noticeably more intense even if the temperature is the same. It has to do with the angles.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:27:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Angles and atmospheric interference... That's why you can stand outside all day on a sunny day in Canada (happens once or twice a year right?) and not really get a significant sunburn, however, when you tan on a cloudy day in Hawaii you can get a really bad sunburn if you don't apply sunscreen.
The distance can interfere with the severity of the extremes of winter and summer but its manly due to the angle the sunlight comes from, if I remember right because of the shape of the orbit the point at which the Earth is furthest from the sun doesn't stay constant from year to year. When its winter the sun is lower in the sky and the radiation comes in from an angle and is more of a glancing blow across the surface having to pass through a lot of atmosphere, where as in the height of summer its directly above and shining straight down so you get more energy reaching the surface. Being lower in the sky does also give you shorter days so there's less time for the radiation to heat the area.
When its winter the sun is lower in the sky and the radiation comes in from an angle and is more of a glancing blow across the surface having to pass through a lot of atmosphere, where as in the height of summer its directly above and shining straight down so you get more energy reaching the surface. Being lower in the sky does also give you shorter days so there's less time for the radiation to heat the area.
That would be because of the tilt, yes? When we are the farthest from the Sun, we are in Summer (in the Northern Hemisphere) because the Earth has tilted us towards the sun, and the Southern Hemisphere away from it, and when we are closest to the Sun we are in Winter because we have tilted away from the Sun (and this the rays come at us at an angle).
This effect is obviously exacerbated the closer to the poles you go obviously because that's where the tilt affects the rays and how they come into those areas through the atmosphere.
The tilts effect on the distance from the sun doesn't really make a difference, the change of angle changes the way the radiation impacts, you can be physically closer to the sun during winter than summer or vice versa. The severity of the winter or summer can alter with distance but the seasons are independent of distance.
Yup the lower the angle between the sun and the horizon the less effect the radiation is going to have on the area, close to the poles at winter is a lower angle than close to the equator at winter so you get a greater effect.
viperone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My hometown is five hours north of where I live right now, and I could go outside all day in the sunlight and do yard work and other things very comfortably there. Now I have to really minimize my time in the sun because it's so intense.
Jet147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scotland is significantly further north than Maine or the more populous parts of Canada. As a general rule, Europe is much warmer than American locations at same latitude
Right, which is why the question is all wrong. The sun doesn't "shine brighter" in the United States, the South is on the latitude of the Sahara desert.
The currents do effect the climates of the different areas, I believe the Gulf stream is the reason the UK doesn't have Canadian weather but is more temperate. In relation to my lecturers question the angle is the important factor. He was asking (he was talking about seasons in the same area) but most people before prompting think its to do with the tilt increasing the distance of the area from the sun, he can generally poke them to the right answer over the course of the interview.
Orisara ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For those unaware.
It's basically because the same amount of energy has to heat up more space.
And for further information for people that don't know, this is due to the Earth's tilt in relation to the Sun.
Countries closer to the equator are warmer. This is also why the northern hemisphere tends to be colder than the southern hemisphere, and countries surrounding the equator.
This is because of the Earth's tilt, particularly during winter. During winter the Earth's tilt means that the northern hemisphere is tipped further away from the Sun. Good illustration.
Anyway, because the northern hemisphere is tilted more in relation to the Sun, Sunlight strikes it at a greater angle. Meaning the same volume of light/energy from the Sun is spread across a greater area. This image is a good representation (although the writing is small and hard to read, sorry).
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Average temps of northern hemisphere countries vs that of equatorial/southern hemisphere countries.
However it's not constant, as the earth changes in relation to the sun this causes the seasons to change.
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. You didn't say countries. That's because there practically aren't any southern hemisphere countries. The ones that do exist are near the equator. Rome is more north than Australia is south. New Zealand is the only country that's entirely south of the Tropic of Capricorn.
Edit: Apparently Uruguay and the tiny nations of Lesotho and Swaziland too.
volpes ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:16:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a recurring theme in this thread that stupid questions only seem so stupid because the person asking has made several logical leaps and isn't asking the real question they don't understand. Just an observation.
The thing is the first part is not exactly an illegitimate question. If this is a young kid, their knowledge of celestial bodies is usually based on children's tales and observable circumstances. Nothing about that necessarily leads to a second Sun being out of the question.
This applies less if the kid has already been taught astronomy.
Sebleh89 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:18:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly that depends on how old the student was. I can see this question being legit if they're young enough to not have had enough education on space.
Honestly any question in this thread depends on how old the kid was. If any of these were said by a two year old, you'd be like "wow you're a genius to be asking that at your age". For the sake of the thread, let's all assume that the kid OP is talking about was old enough to know better.
Is it because you're already sharing that cunt trump with us? He can take his golf course and fuck off if you want to give us more sun instead. Or not. He could just fuck off.
Avalire ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:52:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're gonna build a wall around the sun. And Scotland's going to pay for it.
That doesn't seem like a stupid question, depending on the age of the kid.
The sun IS warmer in the US, and how would a kid know how many suns we do or don't have?
Orisara ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:46:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually the US is A LOT colder then the EU.
Scotland is obviously colder than California.
theodb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it? The average temperatures in the south US seem much hotter then the hottest areas of the EU.
Orisara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The South of the US is way more South than the Southern most point of Europe as well.
I'm talking about when talking about the same longitude.
theodb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saying that the US is much colder than the EU is pretty misleading if you don't say the last part until in a different comment, especially considering in actual temperatures the US is definitely hotter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
San Francisco is the same latitude as Northern Japan (Misawa AFB) and they have very, very different climates. Northern Japan gets 200+ inches of snow a year whereas San Francisco gets fog.
The east and west coast of continents get wildly different weather.
Throdal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sun has its own temperature. The temperature on the earth surface might be different, but the sun wont give a shit about that.
Brobably because it isn't sentient and literally could not even give one.
I mean, this is stupid depending on the age of the child. If its a 5 year old, then that completely legitimate question. If it's a 17 year old, I'd probably struggle to not lose my shit
When we had that "blood moon" a few months back, I (living in Nebraska) texted my less than smart younger sister (living in Michigan) to ask if her moon was doing the same "blood" thing as my moon. She was just in awe that our moons were somehow both "blood" at the same time because it just seemed so weird that it would happen like that. She's 22 years old.
After going on with this conversation for a while I finally started making fun of her and she had a "duh" moment that I was totally messing with her. She swears up and down she was drunk at the time and blames that......LIES!!
JMW007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have told him our sun is owned by Rupert Murdoch.
I'd bet most college-educated adults don't know why the sun is warmer in some places than it is in others. If you didn't take an astronomy class, why would you?
chilari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer is "No, the Sun you see here in Scotland is a tabloid newspaper and it's much colder because it's written by people without warmth in their hearts. Don't touch it."
When you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon, not the same one, that's impossible.
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... I think the stupidity of this question depends wholly on the age of the students and whether they should have been taught basic astronomy by that age...
tonyray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fair question
WHLSHRK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my physics class was learning about the speed of light and calculating how long it took for the Sun's light to reach Earth, one of my classmates was so taken aback that she asked,
"Wait, so can we even see the Sun from Earth?"
Lwaldie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I am in Scotland and I cannot see the sun..
American turists have been known to walk into Norwegian turist information centres and demand their money back because the famous midnight sun is the same they see at home, according to Norwegian newspapers.
4_jacks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because ours is better!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At 15, that child is Scottish. When they get older, get a PhD, and develop a cure for cancer, they will be British.
Mr_105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story, I was working in construction the past summer and a cousin from Mexico (a very rural part) asked a co-worker what time it was. The co-worker told him to use the sun to tell time, and my cousin replied "I don't know how to tell time with an American sun"
My very religious paternal grandmother believed that there was only one sun in the universe and that is why there can never be life on other planets. I stopped arguing with her around 13.
I asked my teacher in fourth grade, how come if California and Oklahoma are the same latitude that California is so much warmer? To this day I still don't know...
I... I thought it was just my family that quoted this. Internet, you have made me happy!
GunNNife ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:19:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there's one thing the Internet is good at, it's remembering pop culture references from the 80's. If there's two things the Internet is good at, it's remembering pop culture references from the 80's, and porn.
Rick Green was one of my instructors in college. I was SUPER into Dr. Demento in high school, so I knew all about Ti Kwan Leap/Boot To The Head. I was crazy psyched to meet THE Ed Gruberman.
Than he said he was on something called The Red Green Show and everyone in class went apeshit.
I'm American. I went to school in Canada. Boot to the head > Red Green
velvet42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:04:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. I've also been into Dr. Demento since high school, bought the 20th anniversary cd's at that time. My friends and I would always quote Ti Kwan Leep. I also love Red Green and have been watching him for years (actually caught his last two live shows on tour in my city) and I never knew this. This is awesome, thank you for pointing it out!
Also, love the username. Not a huge fan of the preachy direction things went in the middle-and-later books, but I will always have a soft spot for the series as a whole.
:D That's 2 people today that have recognized my username. So cool when that happens.
Yea, I get the loss of interest. My SO says (though I have yet to confirm a source on this) that the middle books is when he started using ghost writers and handing the plots off to other writers.
I stuck with it throughout, and I liked where it went mostly, but I have to wonder how epic the series would have become if Goodkind had written it all.
Eh, it's not ghostwriters so much since the stuff I'm talking about is very much Terry's own views (going off how he responded in various interviews, his multiple AMAs, etc.) it's just the super-preachy Randian crap that rubs me the wrong way. Like, in almost all of the later books there's some point towards the middle or end where Richard goes off on some blowhard speech about the evils of socialism or the virtues of capitalism, and it goes on for pages and pages and it's just such utter tripe. I don't mind that the overall setting and whatnot is a tad derivative because the unique aspects of it all and how it comes together are great IMO, but I really have to force myself to power through when I reach that point in each book. It made Faith of the Fallen particularly hard to finish, considering that's basically all there was to the entire thing...
I see what you mean, but Faith of the Fallen is a little of an unfair example because Richard was trying to teach a people who were so oppressed they refused to do the simplest things for themselves (ie fixing a simple staircase).
But yes he did get rather repetitive with that shpeal. :)
With Faith, my issue was more that the entire thing was a feature-length strawman argument. I mean, I get that it's his world and his characters, so he's free to write them as stupid and helpless as he likes, but it was so unrealistic and obviously pandering to his own ideals that it was almost insultingly transparent. Come to think of it, Goodkind isn't really great at that- most of his antagonists, or really anyone who disagrees with Richard comes off as cartoonishly stupid for no real reason beyond hammering home the whole "objectivism is good, everyone else is poopyheads!" crap that Terry just can't seem to let go of. It's just so contrived that it wears thin after a while, y'know?
I think he had written the extreme the other way (Emperor Kusco...I mean Jagjang LoL) that Richard had to be so extreme in the other way that it got annoying.
I think that's why I loved the Mord Sith characters so much. He had ordered their uniforms and agils destroyed, but they saw that this order contradicted Richard as a ruler so they ignored.
Same, I liked that they had such nuance, being that their profession was pretty objectively evil, yet they managed to be a force for good. As a rule, I think he did pretty well when he wrote more gray and ambiguous characters, which is why my personal favorite "villain" as such would easily be Shota.
I was kinda looking forward to her plot of coming after them to kill their son, but it never happened. I thought there might be a twist with Kahlan's miscarriage (much like Cu Challiu beuing Richard's 'wife').
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh god, she moves like the President!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
frum-THUNK
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ha, me and my wife were once babysitting for our cousin, about six years old at the time. we were reading him bedtime stories, and after one, he sits up and says, "cool, and now is the time for me to....
punch you both in the head!!"
and he lands a perfect simultaneous double punch, one fist in each of our foreheads.
it worked so well he even surprised himself, and probably thought he was going to get in trouble. we were so shocked we just busted up laughing, though.
he's a teenager now, but to this day, we'll sometimes repeat that to him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many are trained in the art of Dodge, Dip, Dive, Duck, Dodge.
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been trying to get my girlfriend to let me practice triangle chokes on her but she's having none of it. The cruel irony is I'm not yet good enough to just attack her with them anyway.
I watch a ton of mma and when I started I asked tons of dumb questions on /r/mma such as "how much training do I need to beat Kazushi Sakuraba " (I am an asian male and Sakuraba is the best asian fighter).
My favorite video is when Kazushi Sakuraba beats the then-unbeatable Royce Gracie. This was back in college so it was about 10 years ago or more now, but I remember the highlight clip had Foo Fighter's Learn to Fly playing in the background. That song still gets me pumped because of that!
rambouhh ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:21:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might make you feel old but Sakuraba beat Royce almost 17 years ago now.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:18:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He then procedes to beat the rest of his family giving him the nickname the Gracie hunter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learn to Fly? That's the most vanilla song I can possibly imagine. Learn to Fly couldn't pump up a puppy on meth.
What about The Korean Zombie Chan Sung Jung. He is a beast first person to win in the UFC with a Twister submission. Not better than Sakuraba, but Asia has a lot of talent at lighter weights.
That is true, a lot of Pride fighters have been lost in the wind. Which is a shame, but they are a little old now. Shinya Aoki Jiu-Jitsu is to cold though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A couple years where it's literally all you do everyday. What holds back practitioners is time. The pros do it all day long but the rest of us have jobs or go to school. So we can't train 6 hours a day. If I could that would be fantastic.
Da2Shae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just tell them that If they're aiming to be the best, to afford the best or do the best at anything you shouldn't have to ask about costs. Something that is top of the line requires a ton of effort anyway so there's no point in asking "how much?"
I taught a 5 year old jiujitsu one time and I asked him how long he had done it, I was expecting him to give me a basic answer like "A few times" or something. When I asked he kind of pondered for a second and just went "Hmm, about a thousand years" pretty nonchalantly and continued with the lesson.
This just brought back memories when my uncle was picking me up from Kung Fu and asked what I learned, so I just punched him in the groin as hard as I could.
Adog311 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:52:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While you slept, mother, I studied the blade.
zeajsbb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:23:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience as a mother of a little boy I got punched, kicked, and then head butted as a form of hello for a solid year. What's all the asking about?
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My niece is basically a whirlwind of chaos and carnage. To this day she has inflicted every type of physical pain possible.
Lol I learned that lesson by getting straightened out... Parallel to floor... About 4 feet up. I had time to watch the ceiling get smaller before the whump.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:50:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was his whole reason for training. He needs to get strong enough to defeat his mother in an honorable match to gain control of the household. In old country, this is the way a boy becomes a man.
As a kid who wanted to get stronger to avoid kids and adults hurting me, can confirm that bad parents generally don't send their kids to martial arts classes.
You are flat out changing the subject now, but I will assume that you thought I was the person you were responding to. I assume so in good faith that you did not mean to mischaracterise me. What you said was inaccurate, and I said so.
For some reason this reminded me of that episode of Spongebob where Patrick learns he can do a perfect karate chop, and then spends the episode destroying everything with his "perfect chop".
MnBran6 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:09:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that one of the new ones? Sounds like the one where spongebob and sandy are doing karate all day and krabs doesn't like it
It's newer, I think from a few years ago though, probably early 2010s somewhere. It's a similar premise except with Patrick basically where he starts chopping everything and then can't get himself to stop.
I mean, I legitimately thought this too. Part of why I wanted to get stronger as a kid was to prevent my parents from hurting me if they were upset at me. It's not at all farfetched.
My style or the way I teach? Biggest tip I can give: don't try to treat them like adults, they'll lose balance, try to play, be noisy. Don't focus on the martial art itself, the movements, focus on the spirit of your martial art, help them grow up as better human beings. After a while, focus on techniques, but not at first :)
My three year old daughter sometimes asks if she can fight her mommy (I have trained in martial arts for many years and sometimes she likes to train with me) and I make sure to tell her that we only fight our friends when they agree to it. Mommy has not been punched yet, but she did take a foam spear to the leg.
Kinda the reverse of the question, but my dad and I teach together and one time he told a kid that we train barefoot because sometimes we kick so fast that our feet catch fire. The kid got really wide-eyed and then whispered "that would be cool"
yaosio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twist: He was asking because she punches him a lot.
swurmp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MAN I'm a karate teacher, and we've got these metal poles in the middle of the floor. We're playing a game, and a kid gets out and goes to sit down. He walks behind me and I hear this loud BANG, and I see him grabbing his head. He walked up and smashed his head into the pole on purpose, and then bragged about it for a week
tonyray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a question that man has contemplated for some time.
Anubiska ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess he wasn't happy about having a little brother and wanted to learn the nephelim abortion punch.
gramie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I asked my son (about 9 years old at the time) why he wanted to take karate, he said, "so I can take you down!"
RexDraco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer is to be sure to ask for his father's permission.
Kid: Now I can defend myself.
Instructor: Yes, my boy.
Kid: ...And beat thugs.
Instructor: Well, yeah I think.
Kid: ...And punch my mom.
Instructor: No, no, that's not the idea.
Kid: And kick my dad out the house.
Instructor: Please stop.
Kid: And kill my sister.
Instructor: Oh my god.
Haha same here, used to teach from age 5 to adult classes for a while.
Had to have a stern talking to because one really small kid beat up someone in kindergarten. His side kick was surprisingly solid, for the terrible coordination they have at that age.
The number of kids that come in to the school I teach at that don't understand that what they're learning can very easily hurt someone very badly is astounding. I've had several kids literally come up to me and kick me in the groin (only took one to convince me to ignore the discomfort and wear a cup), not understanding that it FUCKING HURTS. Among the various other instructors at our school, we've decided that kids are complete idiots. The questions they ask are the stupidest things too.
Any pizza is a personal pan if you're determined enough. You just have to believe in yourself. I'm not telling you who to punch, you can punch anyone if you have enough willpower.
I took Tae Kwon Do and asked my instructor if he had "ever done a Form on somebody." I was 7, but I still cringe. Especially because it was a multi-level class (many different colored belts in the same room) so there were a bunch of adults in there.
EMAW2008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about sweeping the leg?
manug102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I read that as marital arts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Karate!
Neknoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. I do to!
My favourites are the "but what if they..." questions. Like... we're not training that now, we're training this. Or I'll just show them something super easy or waaaaaaaay more advanced. Or if they ask me whilst they're training with eachother, I'll step in and they get to try. Usually the technique itself does stop a lot of the what-ifs when done properly (tho not excessively since, well, kids).
However. Best one:
When do we learn to shoot fireballs?
It was real and oh so sweet. Almost broke my heart to tell him that we're not streetfighter. Then, to make up for the dashed dreams, I threw the other trainer in a really high, spectacular fashion, and I re-sold martial arts to the kid ^
semysane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What belt do I need to get before I can do a kamehameha?
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 14:42:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No wonder a boy would ask such a thing, when they are exposed to violent movies and video-games all the time. Violent movies and video-games activates male instinct making them commit violence and rape.
I heard Germany tends to censor lots of Nazi related media, even fictional and historical content. Maybe that is why he did not know? I could be wrong though.
LeftRat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:57:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's sort of a misconception. Swastikas, the Hitler salute and stuff like that are expressively allowed in history, education and art (including movies, books, pictures - everything, except videogames unfortunately, since they aren't officially art yet): Germany doesn't want to prevent people from learning about it (to the contrary, education focuses heavily on that period of history), it just wants to prevent glorifying it in any way.
Just in case you're interested in that sort of thing, in my 13 school years in Austria, about two to three whole semesters of History class covered that time period, with the focus generally on the rise of Hitler and the Nazis, as well as (naturally) the Anschluss. Other points that were covered exhaustively were the propaganda system and how especially the youth was groomed and indoctrinated.
Also, when it was about the time of WW2 itself, the main focus tended to be on concentration camps and other war crimes, as well as the continued propaganda methods and the inclusion of civilians into the war effort ("Totaler Krieg") rather than the battles.
Actually, visiting a concentration camp is pretty much the classic History excursion over here.
The origins of that whole tragedy are really stressed in education. Sadly though, it seems that a terrifying number of people here didn't really learn anything worthwhile from that.
olig1905 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:19:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait... what??
JustZoni ยท 14557 points ยท Posted at 12:04:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Private writing instructor. A couple of years ago, I had a student ask me if commas were real or imaginary. He was equally dubious about semicolons, which he referred to as "imitation periods."
(Since people have asked, he was 26 and very serious. Edited for clarity.)
I took English at a local community college. One night while the class was working on something and the teacher was reading over everyone's assignments from the night before she stopped the class and said the following sentence. "Guys, under no circumstances should a comma come in the middle of a word. I've seen several of you do this and I have no idea why." It was honestly pretty hard not to laugh.
Housetoo ยท 3206 points ยท Posted at 14:57:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mixing up , and ' perhaps?
[deleted] ยท 10632 points ยท Posted at 15:17:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guys, under no circumstances should an imitation period come in the middle of a word
rawbdor ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
semiculins are so dumb.
EDIT: sorry, the only reason i say this is that this semiculin in this comment is trying to be in the middle of a word. i should say that this one particular semiculin is dumb.
EDIT: hey asshats quit downvoting me i am not the one who put a semiculin in the middle of a word
EDIT: hey before you hit that down arrow why don't you ask yourself why you can't take a joke you losers. jesus the pc crap has extended to long periods? because that is all those things are, and no one was bawling when that OP got downvoted for misspelling words. so are you racist for long periods over spelling? hippocrites.
EDIT: is it a bunch of grammar nazi lamebrains doing this? did my one little joke hit some kind of linguist blog or some shit? i have never so much as even misused a semiculin! wtf? i used an interrobang one time, it was in a sentence fragment; i had a comma, and something they told me was umlaut but i'm positive it was just an accent mark. whatever anyone is saying about me and semiculins is not even true. but go on farteaters, downvote away. it shows how stupid you are.
EDIT: spelling.
EDIT: this is such shit. i have never received as much as one single downvote in my life and you peckers are jumping on this stupid semiculin-loving bandwagon. that is a dumb goddamn long period in the middle of a word and that is all. i'm not going to apologize to you idiots any more.
EDIT: you know, now my feelings are hurt. the amount of downvotes piled on me is just excessive. god for-fucking-bid i had commented on a post about an exclammation point, i would be at -1000 by now. you people are horrible.
tastar1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really trying, but I cannot come up with a single example in English where that is false. All I have come up with is t'is and t'was which are misspellings of 'tis and 'twas.
Nyxceris ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:28:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God, that hurts me.
chrom_ed ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:35:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mum does this, only she doesn't mix them up (she knows how they're supposed to be used) she just uses commas in place of apostrophes cause they're easier to get to.
It,s fucking infuriating.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't need to be escaped, so I think that's a no.
chtk ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 15:43:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you,re doing string substitution using the sed command you can do something like sed -e "s/from/to/g". But in the given example you can replace the slash with any other unreserved character and it,ll still work. Like this: sed -e "s,from,to,g". This has at least one benefit when manipulating UNIX paths, where the slash character is the path delimiter. If you use something other than slashes as the delimiter in your regex, you don,t have to escape the slashes in your path. Which results in code that,s a bit easier on the eyes.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're awesome. Thank you.
_JGPM_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I need to test it out I use this page. I wish the page had other applications as settings instead of just different types of languages.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to test Regex against something real, look up the Select-String command in PowerShell on any Windows computer.
Write
Get-Help Select-String -Full
Example:
$Files = dir -Recurse | Where { $_.Extension } | Select-String -Pattern "(?<={)ID(\w+)?(?=})" -List | dir"
Looks through files that contain a n length words of "ID" like "IDHfs34" that are surrounded by { and } and then pipes the objects back to a "dir" command to store the FileInfo objects in the $Files variable.
The -List parameter makes it stop searching a file once a match is found, so that I can narrow down the files before looking for every match in each file.
I can then use the $Files variable to move or copy the files somewhere else.
_JGPM_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks, but I was thinking of specific applications where it wouldn't provide feedback about why your regex expression failed and would just fail silently. For example, Splunk calculated fields or Command line perl etc.
I've also never used PowerShell either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've also never used PowerShell either.
Then you're missing out.
_JGPM_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a polarizing topic. People love it or hate it.
virgnar ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:22:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually learned regex through www.regexcrossword.com . It's a great way to learn as it uses logic skills to learn and recognize the syntax, which imprints on your memory a lot better than through mindless rote. This is coming from a guy who was utterly intimidated with regex and absolutely loathed it and now love it.
Another site that's a straight up tutorial along with being a nice reference is http://rexegg.com/. It also does a fine job explaining the nuances of regex and how regex operates on the backend so you can anticipate a regex engine's behavior a lot better.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use Sublime Text for doing mass regex edits on walls of text. I used to do it in Vim, but it's kind of a pain in the ass there since they use a different regex dialect.
virgnar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:29:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, puzzle four in "experienced" really ups the ante, doesn't it?
virgnar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That volapuk one is pretty brutal itself. But yeah it does jump a bit in intensity and the experienced and later ones I found having to pull out a reference or two
I wrote "for" instead of "four"? Fuck me. But that fourth puzzle suddenly makes me question, "Is this a look-ahead? Is it just an exclamation point?" Of course, once I realize it was just punctuation instead of arcane regex functionality, it got a lot easier.
I'm thinking of breaking out one of these while interviewing. Regex isn't actually a part of my team's job (I'm on an ops team), but it'd sure be entertaining to see a candidate's response. :D
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:57:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol I love the first response. Parseing HTML with regex will summon undead souls, or something of that sort. Thanks man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to quickly use regex for something useful then hit up PowerShell on any Windows computer and use the "-match" operator to practice: "Hello World" -match "w"
Or use the Select-String cmdlet which is a super-fast command. You can feed it files with dir (alias for Get-ChildItem) and then search within the files for whatever you want.
Like so:
$files = dir -Recurse | Select-String -Pattern "(?<={)ID(\w+)?(?=})" -List | dir
This will search through every file in every folder from the current location and look inside each file for any instance of the letters "ID" surrounded by { and }, but the question marks within parenthesis do lookahead and lookbehind, which will keep the { and } out of the match result and only give me variations of "ID", like "ID32432".
The -List makes it stop searching a file when it finds a match. This is useful because I first want to narrow down the files containing IDs. The match objects created by Select-String all contain a FullName path property to the file which is then send to a second "dir" command which gives me the file objects.
The file objects are stored in the $files variable which I can then use to later move or copy the stored files somewhere else.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, you're my hero. Thank you. I pretty much use exclusively powershell, realized all of that. I love Reddit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you really want to learn them thoroughly, Mastering Regular Expressions is the way to go. It's also one of the most well written IT books I know, so it's a surprisingly easy read.
This happened to me as well! I was an English tutor. The student said that his teacher told him he needed to use more complex sentences "like, with commas and shit."
He'd literally gone back when he was finished and added them randomly throughout the paper.
sorenant ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:23:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine tutored English at the community college we were attending at the time. She had to explain to a girl why it was inappropriate to use "lol" in an essay.
yeah, my mother was a high school teacher and she said internet slang's been creeping in for over a decade. She said it has, to some extent, led to kids being more used to expressing themselves in writing. So it's not all bad.
To be honest a lot of times in texting a sarcastic comment will go over my head if lol or haha isn't included somewhere. So I guess there could be two sides to the story.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:29:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One night while the class was working on something and the teacher was reading over everyone's assignments from the night before she stopped the class and said the following sentence.
I consider internet comments to be more like dialog and less like writing, so I only put commas where I would actually pause while speaking and I give no shits about comma splicing.
Postius ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was honestly pretty hard not to laugh
At first i would laugh and than i would cry because apparently im on the same level as those people since i am in a class with them. WHich makes me also an idiot.
no. because I got an A and was there because I'd fucked up and partied too much. They were there because that was the best they could do. They were also there again the following semester.
This is like an opening, pause (or paws) scene in a movie.
"That canine: that's me. You,re probably wondering how I, got here. What do I know, about diamonds."
The next line Frank sang was, "I see you shiver with antici," and then he paused to watch everyone's face. He then shattered the tension by continuing triumphantly, "PATION!"
I didn't understand sentence structure at all when being taught it. I remember the teacher kept coming up to me saying I didn't use any periods. I didnt undetstand. So, after awhile I just began placing them randomly.
I don't know how I finally learned. Them but I did.
yequalsy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a PhD student once (he's now a professor) who would almost invariably place a comma right after the verb in a sentence. "Spot ran, home." Overall he was a pretty smart guy but man I spent a lot of time breaking him of that habit.
Trust me, no one at this community college had a trust fund. It was a really weird mix of kids. They had an articulation agreement for their engineering program with several really good schools in the area, so my engineering classes had some kids who were fucking geniuses but wanted to save like 40 to 80k on the first two years of college. The gen ed classes I took, however, holy shit I didn't know people could be that dumb. I decided to change majors to bio and transfer, but I was too late to enroll in my new school so I did one last semester there in their bio program. My final average for my bio class was 103. I got less than 100 on 1 quiz. Otherwise I got every question and extra credit question right. It was a really easy class. The class average was in the high 70s.
I know what you mean when I was in college there was actually an English class where we would have to read out loud and take turns just like in grade 4 and people would sound out the words just like in grade 4..... In college level English.... I got up and never returned.
That's amazing. I took a class at a CC once and it was a loooong semester after the class started with having to explain to most of the students how to write a basic 5 sentence paragraph.
yeah, I actually really give this teacher credit for not dumbing down the class. She said at the beginning of the class that this was a college level class and she was going to grade it accordingly. The first night every seat was filled. The second night about half were empty. By the final there was about 6 kids out of around 25 left. It honestly wasn't hard, but apparently kids don't know how to write anymore.
Oh jesus. This would drive me insane. Even more worrisome that several people had done it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a glitch in my keyboard that inserts a comma into the word nic,e when I type it too fast. I don't know what anybody else's excuse would be though.
Probably not why people in that class did it but I do this if I'm not paying attention to what I wrote, - ' and , are next to each other on my keyboard (dvorak) and I hit both with a stretched ring finger so sometimes I hit the wrong one.
In Community College?!?!? Where are you from? What high school did they attend????? Your teachers aren't doing their job if multiple people are doing this.
There were several ESL kids in the class, so it may have been one of them. But the school was in a pretty low income area. Most of my state's education is actually some of the best in the country, but when you have really underfunded schools, like big cities tend to, you have some slip through the cracks.
to be fair community colleges have a shitton of programs where foreigners can come in and then ontop of that plenty of young adults new to america go to CC's.
yeah, there were definitely a few kids in the class that were their to improve their english. And to those kids credit, they were the bulk of the class at the end. There were like 25 or 30 kids in the class the first day. There were like 6 on the last and half of them were esl kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I took a creative writing class. Most of the people who took that class wanted to be writers. The average writing level in that class was so poor that the teacher threw out half of the planned writing assignments for the year, pushed all the ones that remained toward the second half of the year, and then inserted a bunch of basic grammar exercises. This was a class of some 9th and 10th but mostly 11th and 12 graders and we were learning basic capitalization, punctuation, tense, etc. People managed to fail the quizes after learning these things. Finally got far enough to actually do some writing, we had to do peer reviews, and this 12 grade girl, like 6 weeks before graduation, who was constantly talking about how she was going to be a writer had about half as many punctuation marks as she needed and used "should of" "would of" and "could of" all over her paper. It was painful.
JCelsius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In college there was this beefcake in my intro to business class. He would always answer the professor's rhetorical questions and the answers were always hilarious.
One exchange I recall:
Prof: "It's projected that by the year 2040, for every person on Social Security, there will be only two in the workforce paying into the program. So what are we going to do?"
Beefcake: "Go to war and advertise it."
The professor looked at him with same look I give my dog when she farts and scares herself.
Mrs, kinnian,.taught, me, about, punctuation, she says, they make, writing, better
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they were trying to do a ' but didn't know where to find it on the keyboard. That's the only possible explanation I can think of.
jazwch01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman year of college we had a required, 2 semester class called Paideia(pie-day-ugh). It was essentially a reading and writing course that all freshman had to take at the same time so we could all bond over how much it sucked ween. We read a novel every 2-3 weeks and during class we talked about the book, took quizzes and had to write 6 page summaries of each. Then at the end the year there was a 20 page paper due. So, during the small papers we did peer review in class and some people were O.K., but others were abysmally awful at writing. I'm talking their lack of ability to create a cohesive sentence made me surprised I didn't see some jeans on their head.
fritz236 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of them was doing it and the others were copying the work, errors and all.
lainzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had teachers in early grades say that commas go where you would naturally pause or take a breath. Maybe they were thinking they would take a breath in the middle of that word so a comma needed to go there?
Were they from an urban background? Because I used to work with data collected from inner city schools and we used to have a lot of errors pop up on name lines of scan sheet because of children who had multiple apostrophes in their names
We once had this guy that was illiterate in English class. Supposedly he was fucking great at math and repairing stuff. One day the teacher asks him why he never does his assignment and he told him that he didn't know how to read and that he didn't know why he was given this class.
The teacher told him to go to the administration office to sort things out and I only ever saw him in the hallways after that.
In situations like this when I'm in class, I always laugh because not only do I not care about being 'that person', the part of me that is a jerk is thinking why/how do such things happens. I've laughed in almost every single class I've taken in college for some sort of reason like this.
codychro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was Christopher Walken attending the class?
btao ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:44:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PC aside, I'd put 100 bucks on them being black. They fabricate their own language to come up with names and expect it to carry over to reality.
18107 ยท 1564 points ยท Posted at 12:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This I the first question I've seen that I can't even understand. Just... How?
JustZoni ยท 1983 points ยท Posted at 12:10:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you saw how they wrote their stories, you'd understand. The only punctuation they used were periods and apostrophes. That was it. They didn't get that there is a difference between apostrophes and quotation marks. Lots of people I teach are very smart, or at least very determined, and figure things out after some basic instruction. This particular individual was... not compatible with anything having to do with the written word.
What IS the difference between semicolons and colons though?
JustZoni ยท 202 points ยท Posted at 12:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One is typically used to begin a list or direct reference, the other to connect two parts of a sentence which could be separate but remain connected and relevant.
Colon:
How to post on Reddit: Click Submit.
Semicolon:
She didn't want to go to the store; the pavement was still icy, and she didn't want to slip.
(To be fair, I am absolutely terrible at semicolon examples.)
Mykeliu ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 13:01:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very good example! Just to add to it...
"Imitation period" actually captures it pretty well. A semicolon, like a period, connects two independent clauses (two things that could have been their own sentences); the main difference is that the two independent clauses are closely related somehow, like in this very sentence!
It's usually a judgment call; if you're in doubt, you can use a period instead.
edit: restructured the last sentence to use a semicolon, because why not (tough potatoes, Vonnegut)
Sometimes using a period instead will make writing sound more stilted.
Also, another use of semicolons is to replace commas when a sentence contains a complex list.
peon47 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:17:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can help connect the two clauses in the reader's mind.
"Jack didn't want to leave the house; the rain was torrential, and wasn't about to end anytime soon."
The semicolon means the sentences are connected/related, so you know Jack didn't want to leave because of the rain. You know the writer wasn't just talking about Jack's agoraphobia and then moving on to talk about unrelated weather patterns.
I like your example, but isn't your third clause ", and wasn't about to end anytime soon." a comma splice error? Surely it should be ", and it wasn't about to end anytime soon."
Sure, but if you want the sentence to be read as two separate parts that are related, you use a semi-colon. If I put a comma there, then the two thoughts are connected into one sentence.
It's not that a comma wouldn't work, it's how I want to convey the sentence.
In the words of Kurt Vonnegut, "Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.โ
"Semicolons are bastards in the grammar world. Two sentences don't really get along well and create this undesirable thing"
tubbzzz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see semicolons are as being able to replace ", because" in their most correct use. The second sentence could be a complete independent phrase, however given the context of the semicolon it is used as a justification of the first, which itself is a complete phrase.
A big clue is in the name; a semi-colon is a hybrid between a colon and a comma. It takes the purpose of both at the same time in the sentence above.
A big clue is in the name: a semi-colon is
A big clue is in the name. A semi-colon is
Looks more natural with a colon, but a colon would be weird to use there. It's more of a little pause than a big stop. Voila: Semi-Colon.
Grammatically, it's way more general than that. You CAN use it between any two independent clauses, and you will most often use it to chain together two related thoughts in order.
cmkinusn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
semicolons are great for a few purposes:
separating ideas in a list, specifically those that have commas present within the list; separating two independent clauses, as noted above, while still tying them together; and when you just need to create a better flow in the paragraph structure.
Usually it represents a shorter pause than a full stop. Which you should interpret as indicating a greater degree of relation than fully separate sentences.
The archetypical usage is for two clauses where the second elaborates on or explains the first, for instance, "I don't want to go out; I am an agoraphobe." The second clause is not entirely independent; it exists only to justify the first.
Contrast with "I don't want to go out. I am an agoraphobe." which places at least equal weight on the second sentence. Use the semi-colon to emphasise your reluctance in going out, and use a full stop to emphasise your agoraphobia.
I think your use of the semicolon is fair; you could have ended the sentence at the pavement being icy without having to explain why she didn't want to slip.
Housetoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about " and '?
i am asking a stupid question but you are a teacher, i do not know and i really want the answer, i got the feeling i mix them up or use them incorrectly sometimes or accidentally use them correctly at other times.
This depends a lot on country. British and Canadian English swap " and ' in many situations. My comment will be based on American English.
In America, " is for quoting someone:
MLK once said, "I have a dream."
It can also be used for some titles (although the titles of books are done in italics instead):
"I Have a Dream" is a famous speech given by MLK.
' is an apostrophe, used for showing possession:
In MLK's famous "I Have a Dream" speech...
If you have nested quotations, however, then it's standard to use " for the first time you use the quotation mark, and ' the second time you use it, to show that you aren't closing the first quotation:
MLK quoted a famous song in his "I Have a Dream" speech when he said, "This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, 'My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.' And if America is to be a great nation this must become true."
Another tricky point is that if a quotation spans multiple paragraphs, then you put new quotation marks (") at the beginning of each paragraph, but don't put closing quotation marks until the end of the LAST paragraph:
"Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
"Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!
"But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
"Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
"Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring."
Hopefully that helps a bit!
Housetoo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:34:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why do you put the quotation marks at the beginning of sentences there but not the end? what does it contribute when it is already put at the start and ending of that paragraph?
For the last example? I'm not sure there's a good reason why, but if I had to try to justify why there are quotation marks at the beginning of each paragraph, I'd say that it's a reminder that you're still reading a quote. E.g., if you have an entire page of quoted text, and the paragraphs are multiple sentences long instead of just single sentences like I had, you might get engrossed in the quote and forget that it's someone else's words, not the author's.
As for why there's only one ending quotation mark, that's to indicate that the quote is continuous. If there were quotation marks at the end of each paragraph, then it would imply that the quotations weren't adjacent to each other. I.e.,
"Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!"
"From every mountainside, let freedom ring."
Those two lines weren't next to each other, so it's not a continuous quote, and the break is indicated by the ending quotation mark.
You would also use ending quotation marks after each paragraph if the quotes were by different people:
Dozens of food critics have raved about the new restaurant, saying:
"The food here is fantastic!"
"Every bite was like a party in my mouth."
"The live snakes in the rafters really added to the ambiance."
The closing quotation marks suggest that three different critics gave those comments (although it could also technically have been a single critic who mentioned those things in different parts of her review).
lenaro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It lets the reader know that this is a new paragraph continued by the same speaker. Otherwise, the reader could assume that the new paragraph indicates a different speaker.
Housetoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i am not saying end all sentences with " but beginning them with " when you do not start them with " is weird to me.
i would assume most people to be smart enough to figure out that a paragraph a few lines long starting with " and ending with " is one quote.
all this " talking must read terribly annoying.
lenaro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually a pretty useful grammatical function, because otherwise long bits of dialogue in books would often get very confusing.
The point is clarity. Reading is easier and faster when we don't have to puzzle through context clues to figure out who's speaking.
Housetoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
" is used for the whole quote. ' is used inside of the whole quote like when quoting other people:. the senator quoted the president when he addressed the floor "when the president says things like 'we're gonna build a wall' when there's more important issues..." You get the idea.
Housetoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah, thanks :)
is the apostrophe used in other ways besides that intraquote quote and can't/don't?
Well, in contractions and to indicate that letters have been removed, IE: fuckin' and got 'em
evaned ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:28:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IE
I wouldn't do this in anything but a grammar thread, but that really oughtn't to be "i.e.", it should be "e.g.".
The latter does actually mean "for example," while "i.e." translates to "that is." It's a lot closer to "in other words" than "for example." In your case, it would imply that "fuckin'" and "got 'em" are the only two places you'd use an apostrophe to indicate omissions.
This distinction is being lost (maybe already has been) and I'm fighting a losing fight, but it's one of those unfortunate things where you occasionally see "i.e." and it's actually not clear whether the writer really means "i.e." or whether they mean just "e.g.".
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
" is a quotation mark. It's used to surround dialogue, like so:
"I want to go get a burger," Bob said.
' is an apostrophe. It can be used to make things possessive (like David's book), to create a contraction (like can't or won't), or to add completely unnecessary pauses in made-up languages (glf'ratera'fere'askshere'bob'eree'ai!).
But remember, an apostrophe does not a plural make.
Housetoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about the quote inside a quote thing someone mentioned? is that handled with " then ' ' then " to finish as they said?
I always treated it like: colons are the boss, use them to separate a list from its preface; semicolons are inferior to colons and superior to commas; and commas are used to arrange parts of sentences and to control the pace of dictation.
I always treated it like: colons are the boss, use them to separate a list from its preface; semicolons are inferior to colons and superior to commas; and commas are used to arrange parts of sentences and to control the pace of dictation.
sorenant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
needhaje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fine example. Semicolons are often used to link two closely related sentences, such as the ones you used. In that context, it really is like a compromise between a comma and a period, which makes sense given its shape.
Another common use is to separate pieces in a list that contain commas:
Let's go on vacation! We can go to Denver, Colorado; Los Angeles, California; or Seattle, Washington.
Another example:
If you want to adopt a cat, you need to buy food, water, and toys; pay for vaccines, neutering, and/or spaying; and spend time loving and caring for it.
Long and complex lists would be a pain in the ass to read without this.
I used to use apostrophes instead of quotes, but mostly because I wanted to feel special (and I liked using one of something rather than two). I read The Chronicles of Narnia, and C.S. Lewis uses single instead of double quotes, and I wanted to be like him. So glad my English teachers didn't care so long as my writing was alright!
For a while, it was kinda shocking knowing how awful adults are at writing, but during my master's program I did a lot of research into it and found out how terrible writing education is so it makes sense
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an instructor, is the over utilization of the comma as epidemic as it appears to be? I feel line I am noticing it EVERYWHERE but always wonder if it is just my own perception.
svrtngr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, some (published) authors have made a stylistic choice to never use quotation marks when characters speak.
trollinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a style format that uses single quotation marks instead of the normal double ones.
That's really sad. I really like to write, but I was severely lacking in basic grammar and punctuation comprehension at the start, so I took some writing classes. One of my peers shared my enthusiasm with writing (maybe even eclipsing my own!), but while the rest of us were able to advance through the lessons with relative ease, it felt like he could not keep up. Over the course of the several weeks, his enthusiasm waned as he just couldn't get it through his head, and eventually he stopped showing up.
It broke my heart, honestly; seeing someone want something so badly, but just being unable to obtain said thing, despite their enthusiasm and determination. I think about him every time I bring a pen to paper.
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who love writing should always have access to resources for learning how to improve. Sadly, there just aren't enough of them out there. There are plenty of grammar guides and writing groups, but they're difficult for some people to understand. Writing should be fun, not a chore.
To be fair, apostrophes are also used as single quote marks. There might technically be other symbols that should be used, but if it is as respected as the difference between a dash, a hyphen, and an em-dash.
quick question, how do you properly write a conversation between two people?
I loved writing stories in english and was in the "higher level" classes but my basic grammar and stuff was really bad, my teachers never went through it with me because its somthing I should have known, the only way they'd teach me the proper was is if i agreed to going to the ordinary level which i didnt want to do.
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English wasn't a first language for me, and it's a ridiculous language. But in general, a conversation might go something like this:
"We're talking," he said.
"Yes, we are," she replied, "but why?"
He thought about that for a moment. "Because Zoni needed an example."
I confused myself when its two male or two female characters talking
I feel the need to like, differentiate between the two by using their names each time.
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fine to use names frequently. When writing a story where you're using dialogue, it's important for your readers to understand who's speaking.
Crede777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bit archaic, but technically it's acceptable to substitute apostrophes for quotation marks in English. One mark to begin a quote, and two marks when using a quote within a quote (the opposite of what is currently common practice). Tolkien wrote this way, for instance.
thbb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In some sense. I like this minimalist approach on punctuation. It gives a kind of rhythm to the text. It's a style worth trying. It's terse and whippy. No?
As someone whose thoughts aren't always compatible with language, I can kind of understand where this would come from, but the question still doesn't make much sense because following this idea a bit further leads you to the conclusion that all of language is made up!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine teaches high school. One day, she showed me some papers from her students. I was blown away by how primitive a lot of it was. Not just the grammar, which was random if it wasn't non-existent, but also you could tell that thinking in a written form was difficult and stilted for them. Some of them were 16-17 year olds that wrote like they were in elementary school.
The form of quotation marks is really just a convention. Most people use double marks but plenty of people, including famous authors, use the single mark. Off the top of my head, I know David Foster Wallace usually only deployed the single quotation mark for dialogue.
In the past year or so, students have stopped using double quotes.
I also have a lot of trouble finding a college student who knows how to properly format their address or even the order things go in.
Hubert Selby Jr. writer of Requiem for a Dream seems to have done quite well for himself and he doesn't use punctuation. Maybe he and your student are one and the same?
Goose420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in a lot of programming languages, quotes and apostrophes are interchangeable. So maybe python is their native language?
If you write in JavaScript, you get all hosed up on apostrophe and quotations, since you can't mix them and you need one or the other to denote a literal.
test = "this isn't the time for \"good\" men to come to the aid of their country"
Guessing your example was from an idiot, not a programmer though.
To be fair, some British writers use the single quotation mark for stuff like:
He said, 'Yes,'
_tarvis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:04:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like Cormac McCarthy
Eshin242 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:15:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ready to be even more scared... if they are over 18 they can legally vote. Stuff like this is what screws with me. I know that it's important making sure everyone gets to vote, but maybe...
The only problem is, who gets to decide the voting criteria? SNS ( Sarcastic, not sarcastic).
Eshin242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said, it's mixed with ALL kinds of pitfalls, and access to educational materials.
Though if I had to pick, I'd do some really simple things, how many branches of government are there? How many senators? Can you give me some details on the bill of rights? Does the US have an official language? How is a bill passed?
Hell even a 30 minute video in the view of school house rocks would be helpful. Just something so people get a basic understanding of how shit works.
Kid was just being existential. Grammar is all made up, it's just that we agreed on the rules. Except that kid. He's not falling for the comma conspiracy.
But, technically, someone DID make up commas and semicolons, just like everything else in the written word. Punctuation marks don't exist in the natural world.
I'm trying really hard to come up with justification here, so bear with me.
Maybe what they meant to ask was something like, "Do commas really have any strict grammatical purpose, or are they just used stylistically?" I could see that being a valid question.
I could, for example, load this sentence, with, as you can see, many commas, for the purpose of demonstrating, albeit awkwardly, the points at which I intend to, you know, pause, or take a breath.
An author might write a character's dialogue that way to influence how the reader imagines their speech.
However, commas also have several distinct grammatical purposes. I can see how living a world where commas are frequently used for both style and grammatical clarity could be confusing for someone.
I dunno about the commas, but I can see how he'd think all semicolons should just be periods, given how, to use one normally, you need a full sentence on each side. I disagree, but I can see what he's getting at by calling them "imitation periods."
The problem is how things like punctuation is taught. When it's taught as an absolute (like things you learn in science class), then some people will begin to think punctuation and random grammar rules have the same weight as laws of nature.
Not sure if there's a better way than the teacher to simply explain this explicitly, though.
Yeah I don't think a lot of people know that a semicolon's purpose is to separate two independent clauses, just like a period, but in a slightly less abrupt way. I kind of like the "imitation period" part
You can also use a semicolon to separate a series that includes commas. I suspect that people come across examples of this, and then have no idea what to make of semicolons.
Plagiarized example:
My heroes are Batman, who combines brains and brawn; Captain Picard, who commands respect; and Wiley Coyote, who never gives up.
A woman I work with, types a comma far more, often than needed. She says she, just out of habit, types a comma every time, she inhales and takes, a breath at work. We work at the state, government level and spend, our days writing reports for, other government agencies.
RsonW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard that in German, their grammar rules dictate far more heavy use of commas than in English. A lot of times, that's what you're seeing: a German learner of English that hasn't quite yet grasped that we have different punctuation rules.
Commas are not determined by grammar rules, but by orthographic and style rules
RsonW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Regardless. German uses more commas.
Skilol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a German speaker, I've always felt like you won't do too bad if you use commas in English by intuition, because in many cases commas are simply used when a statement would be ambiguous without them or to mark a small pause in the text flow.
But, obviously, as a non-native speaker whose only goal ever is communicating and not being completely correct, I'm held to much lower standards than somebody attending an English class in an English speaking country.
I have a bad habit of going comma crazy. I'll come back later to self-edit and think, "Holy shit I think my run-on sentence has another run-on sentence inside of it."
There is a Reddit user who does this in comments on purpose. I can't for the life of me remember his user name. It's something along the lines of commanightmare but that's not right. People freak the fuck out had his random comma usage until someone notices his user name.
An interesting point that a lot of people don't quite understand however is that any comma can be correct if it accurately conveys how the author intends for a sentence to be read.
The above sentence is not wrong by necessity. It would just wouldn't make much sense in the majority of circumstances.
Connoire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was just comma sense.
fraencko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For us Germans, who write in English from time to time, this is pretty normal, we have commas everywhere and very long sentences. But we don't write commas before ands, because, honestly, why should we?
I make up commas all the time. Meanwhile, I take every chance I get to correct others on their spelling, because it's the only thing I've retained in school.
โHere is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.โ --Kurt Vonnegut
Have some respect, the kid could be America's next great fiction writer.
Derwos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:02:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think semicolons sometimes have specific functions that can't be performed by anything else.
Derwos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or to join two sentences in a certain way.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Derwos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
imo there's nothing wrong with using one if you want to attach meaning between two sentences.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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wsdmskr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm... Abstaining leaves you with only the comma and period, though, and there are many times where the pause of the comma is not enough and the full-stop of the period is too much. Plus, there's the issue of the comma-splice.
I'd argue that most teachers are scared to teach the semicolon, because they're not sure themselves, and so students never learn. I've peer-reviewed papers which other professors have knocked because the student used a semicolon only to find that the student had used it correctly and the professor didn't know what s/he was talking about.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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wsdmskr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why'd you erase your initial comment? I was in the middle of responding when I noticed it was no longer there.
In response to your new post:
Sure, there are lots of other punctuation marks, but they don't serve the function that the semicolon does.
In regard to your original post:
We could go back and forth on this all day. I can say that I believe they are necessary to convey to closeness of two complete thoughts or ideas; you can say people can make clear that relationship without them. You can say they are a stylistic frivolity; I can say that style is fundamental to clarity of conveyance.
There is no right answer. Yes, someone can avoid the semicolon โ and dashes, and colons, and parenthesis, too. But to do so would be to miss out on the fullness of expression the English language allows.
No, I got that. I understood what you were trying to say. I was just confused about their absence in an example I thought was designed to exemplify their usefulness.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imitation periods is totally something I would say. Language is fluid man, don't come at me with your illegitimate punctuation. I didn't vote on it! Vive la resistance!
You should have given the student some seminal semiotics works to read-up on. The concept of a universal grammar or a near universal grammar is not especially hard to understand or digest for a college age student. Some in-field Chomsky may have really fucked that student's worldview up (and maybe yours as well).
When I was a kid (pre-computers), I couldn't remember when to use "apostrophe s" and "s apostrophe" ('s and s'). So I would try to fool my English teachers by putting the apostrophe right over the, "s"! It worked, too! :-D
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of. Considering each person's needs, I figure out what they want to achieve, what they need to get there and then teach they skills they may not already possess. I'm also a writing problem solver, since I can help you figure out exactly why you can't seem to do something with your writing (like, say, make your readers sad, figure out a happy ending, etc.) and show you how to overcome the problems. The main reason students come to me is due to the fact that I use fan fiction to teach. People enjoy learning when they understand the examples being used and have fun using them, so why not? It's a great way to learn.
I mean philosophically it's kind of an interesting question although that may not be what the student meant...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a certain way, it is actually an interesting philosophical question.
Furreal though, teaching writing is a highway to cynicism and horror. I was a college writing tutor and also taught writing intensive gen eds at a large university briefly. Realizing the extent of the illiteracy of students able to get into reasonably good colleges was shocking to me. I had seniors in college who couldn't identify nouns, verbs, and adjectives.
Halgy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a geography teacher that would give students an 'F' if they used a semicolon. His reasoning? "No one knows how to use semicolons, so if there's one in your paper you obviously plagiarized it."
Makes lots of sense to me. He was asking if the rules for commas were "real" or do people just put them wherever they feel. Actually makes lots of sense to ask that question about semicolons since many people have no idea to use them.
i feel like you could have explained parsing instead of being a dick but most of these "stupid questions" in this thread have simple explanation that the idiot teachers just didn't think of - that's why they say there's no such thing as a stupid question
Kfey93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give this kid an interview "The details of my life are quite inconsequential...very well where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self improving Boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute name Chole with webbed feet. My father would drink , he would womanize. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy."
joko91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend knows a lot about imitation periods.
I don't even know how to use a semi colon to this day. I use a comma everytime, and you know what if I emailed somebody and they get offended I used a comma instead of a semicolon that's not a person I wanna work with anyway; and that's how you weed people out of your life.
HB24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't all language and communication made up?
Ryonne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do I use semi-colons properly?! I never know when to use them instead of a comma or a colon. My university English prof just told us semicolons have hard rules and if you're in doubt or don't know, it's safer to use a colon.
Aldryc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, to be fair, commas--and all other forms of punctuation and diacritic marks--really are just made up. They were simply ways to aid in the oral reading of a text, and over time had varying (and conflicting) rules attached.
Kid has a real nack for asking the right questions, because by telling him no you would be giving him the incorrect answer, but by telling him yes he would disregard all languages as human constructs and search for the original language, which is impossible as we are unsure of what the original language is.
Went to middle school in India for a couple years, the teachers there taught us to call qoutation marks "imitation qoutes"... also explains why they don't really follow thy standard mla format of quoting your sources. Transitioning back to US schools was fun after that little stint.
Sevyn13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate of mine was GENUINELY surprised to learn of the existence of cocoa beans. He thought previously that chocolate came from brown cows.
"I mean, why else would Hershey's and stuff be called MILK chocolate?"
EDIT: We were in tenth grade at the time.
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 18:38:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My little sister, at age 14, believed taco meat came from taco cows and that it wasn't just seasoned ground beef. She legitimately believed there were cows who produced Mexican seasoned beef.
Warpato ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:49:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know anti immigration sentiment is growing but i really hope we dont statt using Mexicans as seasoning
Ulkhak47 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:36:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
statt
Boston?
Warpato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:09:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean we're going to be taxed 20% on taco meat now? Thanks a lot, Trump.
karl2025 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God, I hope some geneticists are working on that.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I married a farmer's daughter. I visited their farm and thought I saw a cow produce strawberry milk. I'm very much a city boy. I figured the cow got into some fruit bushes or they fed them strawberries or something. Turns out, she just got put on antibiotics and that was one of the side effects.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, did you taste it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:50 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I managed to convince my 18-year-old college roommate that chocolate milk came from chocolate cows.
To be fair, she was from the middle east, where they apparently didn't stock milk in any stores and they never had snow. Wisconsin must've been a hell of a shock.
My wife had a looooong conversation with a classmate of hers about whether or not cows could be brown. The classmate swore cows could only be white with black spots, and that people were lying to her about the existence of anything to the contrary.
I have a colleague (30+, ex-lawyer) who constantly goes on about how much she loves chocolate. But she doesn't like dark chocolate. So I was telling her about Willie's 99% cacao which you're supposed to shave into your food as an ingredient, and was showing her on the website. She stopped me and said "Is it dark chocolate though?"
I stopped and blinked for a moment, then explained again that it was 99% cacao and she interrupts me again and says "But is it dark chocolate?"
Verizer ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:43:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably doesn't know that milk chocolate is just diluted dark chocolate.
That's not a bad guess, really. You might think there is more than one kind of chocolate plant or something, or a strain of cacao plants called "dark." There are many different kinds of coffee beans, for example.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:41:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And dark roast coffee is essentially the same as regular coffee, just cooked longer. Using that as a basis for your understanding of chocolate, dark chocolate could just be "regular" (milk) chocolate that has cooked longer.
Excusable perhaps for people who don't eat chocolate that much. But she's always talking about how much she loves chocolate. I don't even eat chocolate that much - maybe twice a year and I know the difference...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:19:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were Hershey's Chocolate Milk ads in the 70s/80s that would ask "Where does Chocolate Milk come from? A chocolate cow? In a chocolate field? On a chocolate farm?" etc...
Elementary student after leaving backpack on the bus: "someone should invent some sort of device that attaches a backpack to a person's body so they don't lose it."
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 00:20:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you use the strap you won't have to worry about forgetting it. They asked for it to be attached to the body, the brain doesn't allow you to attach it to the body.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 02:24:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was asked by a crying student once if there was a second moon. We were outside for recess and as happens sometimes, the moon was visible. I said Nope, why and she pointed to the moon and asked but aren't the sun and the moon the same thing? 4th grade student, not special needs or anything. She was crying because the other kids were making fun of her for thinking the sun and the moon were the same thing. After I explained to her the sun did not turn into the moon at night and then back into the sun in the morning (she actually thought the moon was the sun 'turned off'), I did an impromptu science lesson that afternoon with the whole class.
ETA: Wow, so many responses!
To clarify, I wasn't a real teacher, just a sub. In my state we are given provisional licenses to substitute teach and are required to have a BA or BS degree (in any field), but no real training or long term license like real teachers have. My training was a 2-hour orientation, then tossed into the pool so to speak. I did many long-term assignments at this particular school and often did day-to-day assignments, and had subbed for this teacher before, so I knew she'd be ok with me going off her plan for the afternoon. Also the kids' 'special' for that afternoon (specials are classes like music, art, gym) was canceled so we had extra time together anyway.
Some pointed out that doing a special science lesson might have singled out the kid even more and/or made her feel bad, but in my experience from subbing all over this district was that when one student didn't know something fundamental, at least half of them also didn't know. I don't mean to malign this district because education standards have plummeted around the country so its not like the district is unique in that regard, and also many of the students came from very challenging backgrounds that affected their education, ability to learn, and so on. So the lesson turned out quite well, I established from the get-go that no question about our solar system was off-limits or dumb and no one was allowed to laugh or make fun of any question. The kids had a lot of fun.
Like I thought many of the kids didn't know fundamental things about our solar system. Turned out the girl in question was not the only one to have confusion over the sun and moon, and many of the children did not even know that the earth revolves around the sun and not the other way around. The majority of the class could not name other planets besides earth and mars, and the majority of the class did not know how seasons work, why a year is the term it is, or why we have leap years, time zones, etc. It was a very fulfilling afternoon for me and them as each question prompted another question and each answer made them light up. The classroom had a smart board so we could pull up and read information together as each question was asked and answered, which they really enjoyed.
Again not to malign this district, but a big reason the kids were so ignorant was because at this school they simply had not had basic solar system lessons yet...in my day as a child these sort of things were learned in 3rd grade. As a side note, in this district they also do not teach multiplication facts in the 3rd grade; the kids are not required to memorize the times tables at all nor are really taught how to do long division by hand nor are given nearly enough time to learn and understand fractions. This results in all sorts of nonsense when they get to higher math (for example, most of the middle-schoolers and high schoolers could not do math problems at the board because they got stumped when it broke down to multiplying, dividing, anything at all to do with fractions. If they did not have a calculator they could not do it)
Someone asked how the girl is doing now, I'm sorry to say I have no idea. Like quite a few of the students in this district she moved fairly often so I saw her at other schools from time to time for a few years and then stopped seeing her, so either she moved to a neighborhood in a school I refused to go to anymore or she left the district. She'd be about 10th grade now so I hope she is doing well.
Thanks for the comments saying I'm a good teacher, and thanks for the ones saying/implying I wasn't also. I really was not, I didn't have much patience or compassion nor the nerves to deal with many of the changes that happened with education in general in my state nor changes within this district in particular. I subbed for 5 years, and by the end of it my nerves were shot and my mouth had no chill. I intended to become a real teacher; I was in a Masters+ certification program but had a come-to-jesus moment when I realized I simply am not capable of being the effective and caring teacher students deserve. So I had to go. I have no regrets, but I do miss the kids and days like these sometimes.
I've told numerous children that old pictures were black and white because that's how the world was back then, the world didn't turn color until around the 1930s. I'm really hoping to get in trouble from a family member when someone finds out.
That was so effective back in the day that you actually can't say your password now. My password back in the day used to be a word that I would use fairly often in game, so it was a huge pain in the ass for me because I would type a sentence that had nothing to do with passwords and it would go "Hey now, don't be giving out your password to people".
That cites it being submitted to bash in 2004, anyone playing RS had already saw that trick being used all over Runescape from 2001-2003. I know because I stopped playing after 2003 and that was a common tactic being thrown around varrock square hoping to catch a trader slip up who actually held items of value. For all we know it goes back to the mid 90's chat rooms. It's likely as ancient as long as multiplayer chatrooms existed.
daedone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IRC is "the mid 90's chat room". This was a known thing well before 2001; we used to joke about it in highschool, and I graduated in 2000. Some of us even remember the Great Split, or the reason EFnet is called, well, E F net. Here, go down the rabbit hole yourself.
that wasn't an idiot test.... that was a scam. people who say that would have the password change screen open and would change your password right away then friend you and drop trade all your stuff the moment you log off.
then friend you and drop trade all your stuff the moment you log off.
As someone who played years of classic way before beta came out for rs2, here's how it actually worked. You didn't have to wait for them to log off, you could change the password and login with the new one while they were still online and it immediately forced them offline and unable to log back in, no waiting necessary. Then you were free to do whatever you want until they answered the security questions and steal it back again. And believe me it was an idiot test, only idiots fell for it and usually had nothing worth stealing. This was back banks had no pin numbers and a rune 2h was worth over 1m gold since only 2 people on earth could make it, and it being the strongest weapon in the game while looking identical to a rune longsword. There were 5 total servers, you'd pick one of the top 3 and go north of Varrock for all the pvp you could ever want, the wealthiest guys with pure strength and 10 defense who would initiate with an addy 2h and swap to the rune 2h mid fight destroyed everything. If you saw a guy in black armor holding a blue sword that was lvl 65+, fighting him was unavoidable death, you used to be locked into 3 swings before being allowed to run, that was a 3 shot killer with 99 strength no defense and the minimum attack for the 2h, the origin of the pure. Then given the incredible cost of losing a rune 2h, many picked up just enough prayer to save 1 item and the new place of battle was north of the prayer alter next to edgeville, the new uniform of death was nothing but monk robes, a strength ammy and a rune 2h, 1 strength pot and as many lobsters as you could carry.
Then beta came out for members, where they took a copy of your real account and pasted it to beta with zero gold and items, but you had your skills and they had a few quests available, I remember within 3 hours of beta going live, I ran waterfall quest, quickly made and sold studded steel leather armor and bought a server first dragon longsword from the shop for 100k. Then ran out to wildy in addy armor bought from shops with my red sword and people were losing their minds wondering how the fuck that was possible to have dragon anything within hours of the beta going live. It was a glorious moment, and the reaction from people switching from the addy green sword to the bright red longsword after fight initiated was priceless. Never been accused of hacks so many times in 1 day.
Oh yea, talking around 2001-2003 was when I played that game. I have a yahoo account with account confirmations going back to '01 and some membership $5 charge email confirmations in 2003, I was logged in the day the halloween masks dropped and remember going between the 5 servers in lumbridge area collecting around 50-60 total before they stopped spawning in the evening.
jfb1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it actually DID block your PW, at least I remember it did when I last played about 7-10 years ago because my password was a word I sometimes tried to use in a conversation
Abba is (among other languages) Hebrew for father.
In the New Testament, it is said by Jesus to his disciples that you can call God "Abba" when praying.
In that time, this was a huge deal. People never called God by his name JHWH, they said Adonai which means Lord. When writing JHWH, the writer had to bathe beforehand and the pen was destroyed afterwards. Praying to that god and calling him "father" or even "dad" was unthinkable.
parkrndl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my daughter (who is 20 now) first started using words, she LOVED Elmo from Sesame Street, but she called him Nanee. No idea why. Then a year or two later as she was stringing sentences together, she somehow coded the word "green" for the word "other", as in "no I don't want that one, I want the green one." Made for no small amount of confusion till we figured out what she was doing...
jaykayel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:20:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me three. I've been told me calling grapes "beeps" was one of funniest things in my early years. Must be a pretty common thing
Huttj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 5 yo daughter calls ear muffs "ear mops". We didn't teach her that, but we're guilty of not correcting her because it's so cute. We'll pay for it someday when she learns the truth and gets pissed off at us.
My mom always called peas turtle balls. I hated peas. I was eating dinner at my aunt's house and they said I couldn't leave the table until I finished all my food. All that was left was a few peas. I blurted out "But I HATE turtle balls!" My cousins were laughing and I got in a bit of trouble for using inappropriate words at the table until they realized it was my mom's fault and I had no clue they weren't actually called turtle balls. I think I was 6 or 7.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beeps is our word for boobs
smoike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One thing as a parent that irritates me is kids using the wrong words for body parts, especially genitalia. My kids know what the real names for these are. I've gotten some mortified looks when the proper words were used instead of some mangled baby words (peepee, vuvu, etc) or general vernacular ( dick, fanny). Sure they might say it slightly incorrectly when young, but they'll get it totally right soon enough.
Xiyther ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 16:56:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad used to tell kids that food doesn't go in your mouth, it goes in your ear, just to make them laugh cause kids laugh at silly things.
Well he stopped that after they had to take my nephew to the hospital one night cause his ear was full of gummy bears.
He still has a bunch of other lies he tells children, those haven't stopped, so lesson partially learned there.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:50:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Because that's a photo of when the world was black and white." That is probably my favorite single strip of all time, that one and the points on the record.
He should probably show his students the 1998 movie Pleasantville as a gag history lesson for those gullible'lil munchkins.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:21:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrap that one into my lie about what color guard is. Back before they could mass produce colors each town could only make one or two. The world was mostly black and white. Then color started being mass produced, and now color guard at school is to commemorate the brave people who died protecting the colors.
asdf2602 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The world changed to colour about 1/2 through the filming of the Wizard of Oz
Yet I've heard stories in threads basically asking the same as this one where people are baffled that some think the world used to be black and white...
Perpetuating ignorance and misconception to a kid that is legitimately asking a question really is a dick move.
SaevMe ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 17:07:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand the sooner kids learn that absolutely everyone is full of shit the better
A kid being laughed at for being dumb, or a kid that grows up thinking they're always right about even the most blatantly wrong things isn't all that humorous.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you take life way too seriously and I WILL continue to tell my niece chocolate milk comes from brown cows and if you have a problem with that, you need to reevaluate your life.
The amount of kids who come into my class who have that misconception is phenomenal. They are only young and I would say out of every class I have ever taught there are at least a handful of kids who have that misconception.
I think what I am trying to say is, well done sir, fair play.
I remember asking my mom how come blue's clues isn't black and white since I've been watching it for so long. I figured things became b/w after being old.
I suggested to my cousin after he first watched the wizard of OZ that the moment the film turns to technicolor was the moment the world changed to colour. He told me to shut the fuck up. Little bastard.
Still one of my favorite jokes with children. Which is great because I'm not even over 30 yet. "Back in my day color hadn't been invented yet."
I may still be having too much fun realizing recently that children view me as "an adult." Hahaha.
karl2025 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I keep telling my nieces that monsters are real and if they aren't really quiet and still then the monsters in their closet will come out and eat them.
It's worth remembering, also, that the early internet was in black and white. It would close down at 10pm and we'd all stand to sing God save the Queen.
And even then it was pretty grainy color until the mid-80s.
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then the SCP foundation had to go around scrubbing everyone's memories of the black and white world.
jadelw27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did something similar. Until I was 6, he had me and my sister convinced that the world was black and white until colour televisions were invented (1956 in Australia). Then everything became colourful.
That child learned several valuable lessons that day, but the hero of the story is /u/earthgarden for turning it into a learning experience for everyone.
My uncle once convinced me he was an alien due to his "odd shaped head". My summer Christian school class was outer space themed that year, so I made sure to inform everyone.
Oh! Oh! Me too! Recognize me! Am uncle. Am dick. Thanks.
felesroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is actually important to teach kids about questioning authority and applying critical thinking. They should learn that you can't believe something just because an authority figure tells it to you. That maybe looking into their claim and seeing if others agree is important.
No shit. One time when I was a tiny kid, I went to the zoo and saw a yellow boa constrictor. It was dope, but my dad said it was a banana snake and it was the only snake to eat bananas.
That was an embarrassing day in 1st grade biology.
Did you explain it there and then? I imagine that results in a pissed off wife
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a nephew and niece who are around my age. My nephew is a year younger and my niece is three or four years younger. We're all very close and basically grew up like siblings.
So, at some point in our childhood we (nephew and I) convinced our niece that sharks can't see black people. It's a weird science thing that no one can explain. We had a good laugh about it and after a while completely forgot.
Many years later my niece is sitting with her boyfriends family (who would soon become her in laws), and they were watching a show about shark attacks. I don't remember the exact scenario but basically this surfer had survived a shark attack and was telling the story. That must have triggered something in my niece's brain and before she could stop herself she said "wow, too bad he wasn't black!".
I wasn't there but she said that as soon as she said it out loud she realized how ridiculous it was. It's been almost fifteen years now and we all still give her a hard time about it.
Reggler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am that uncle. My sisters kids dont trust me at all.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Uncle Dick!!
Connoire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am an uncle and I can confirm we do this shit.
dwkfym ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle convinced me that giraffes make noises that sound like 'Girin Girin!' which is what giraffes are called in Korean. I believed him because even at age 6 or whatever I knew things can be named after the sound it makes, so it sounded plausible.
Honestly it was probably just a leftover memory from a childhood bedtime story. We make up all kinds of things to entertain kids, and you would be surprised what sticks around.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle used to give me some dick.
shapu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MissNye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not just Uncles....
As an Aunt, my favorite one when the littles are around 3yrs old is the good old, "Milk comes from white cows...Chocolate milk comes from Brown cows...And you gotta shake 'em real well to get milkshakes to come out."
Fun is fun, but you've got to be careful for this very reason. My girlfriend and her mother had our daughter convinced for a while that her grandmother was a Spice Girl. I put an end to that with a similar scenario in mind. Kids can be ruthless.
joehx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when i read that i switched uncle and the other word... i was horrified for a moment
Lol I love to do that. I once told my little cousin that all cats are imported from Egypt because cats can only hatch from their eggs in the sunny Egypt.
Moms can be dicks too. I fill both my son's heads with utter nonsense for shits and giggles. I had the oldest convinced we import all our trees (in Canada) from Brazil, and are responsible for the depletion of the rain forest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name's not Richard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or dad.
When I was a kid, I asked my father what thunder was. He told me it's the sound weather makes when it's "trying to make the rain stop." It took me until about age nine to piece that out as him messing with me.
walesmd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the dick father. My wife gets on to me all the time because I forget to circle back around and tell the children these things aren't true. At least once a week, they run to her sharing these amazing facts they learned from dad only to be utterly destroyed.
Maybe I can pass this off as teaching them about fake news and being gullible?
I mean, I can almost understand the logic, if you're a kid and you've never been told differently. But 4th grade is kind of old to be that confused. Like, in nine years of your life, you've never seen the moon during the day?
Or a boyfriend. I convinced my girlfriend that peace officers were amputees. She bought it for quite a while, and smacked me when I asked her, "Why else would the be called piece officers? They're just the pieces.."
hm.. if no one would explain it to me, i can imagine that i would think the moon and the sun are the same thing, but maybe its just me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it was calvin's dad
bwrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick uncle reporting in. I convinced a neice that our poop is brown because we have to eat dirt sometimes to help with digestion. That her mom was sneaking dirt into her cereal in the morning to give her her daily needed.
samfi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's an odd realization when you slip into the role of "that uncle" without noticing. over xmas holidays I off-handedly explained to a nephew the reason that some medieval lego guys had a halberd instead of a sword was that it's better at penetrating the helmet and doing more damage.
only later, as he exitedly relayed the information to his mom, I realized it perhaps wasn't yet suitable information for a 5yo
Or a parent who just didn't do well in school, and reasoned it out on their own (poorly). I was amazed how many people were furiously taking notes in my college astronomy 101 course when the professor explained that the sun is in fact a star.
And just in case anyone's never thought it through: the phases of the moon aren't caused by Earth's shadow, it's caused by how much of the side of the moon currently facing the sun is visible from your current position.
Hydris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uncle dick usually is the cause of a lot of childhood problems.
Similar but probably very different effects from tidal locking. I think it was Niven who wrote about a tidally locked world where there was a constant wind pattern carrying cold air towards the star close to the ground and warm air flowing at higher altitudes back to the dark side. Habitable only where it was permanently dusk.
I just found a tabletop RPG set on a disc-shaped planet called Coinworld, where the two sides are geographically identical, but very different otherwise. Neat idea.
I did an impromptu science lesson that afternoon with the whole class.
That was a great way to handle that.
Bizoza9 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, 4th grade, kids making fun of her, and stuck doing a science lesson on the sun and the moon? I kind of doubt that she was treated better for it. It almost singles her out for more ridicule.
Most 4th graders aren't going to think that long about it. Also, if this little girl was confused on some things, I can guarantee there were other kids in the class who learned something from that lesson.
Bizoza9 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:41:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I guarantee some kids learned from it. I just think you underestimate 4th graders. Sure, there are those with ADHD, and all of that, but many of them are far more cognizant than you are giving credit for.
No, I realize that. I would just like to hope they aren't that spiteful about it. Of course, elementary school was the worst time for bullying for me, so maybe kids really are just that mean.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:32:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Bizoza9 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how you haven't come at this with the fact that they are 4th graders in mind at all.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:55:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Trinilos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:46:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tutored groups of K-12 students for 5 years, and you're correct. The caustic attitude that the guy you're talking with really doesn't happen all that much, if at all, in 4th-5th grade. That kind of shift generally happens around grades 7-8. Until then, kids generally let things go pretty quick. That's still the age when someone can be your best friend one week, your enemy the next, and your best friend again the next.
It would have been pretty easy for the teacher to demonstrate that all the kids were in some way deficient in their knowledge about the sun and the moon.
This is not entirely accurate. The Moon is Earth's only permanent natural satellite, but other natural satellites of Earth have existed before. List on Wikipedia.
mfb- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, but they are not called moons if they are just there for a few years, or if they are tiny. Not every dust particle in Saturn's rings is a moon.
konaya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Key word being โexistedโ. There is no other moon than the Moon.
At this summer camp i work at another counselor thought the same thing, only she had just graduated from high school. She was also a shitty counselor, when her camper wanted to color or do crafts, she would refuse because she didn't feel like doing her job. She was an overall shitty person, and I'm glad she isn't welcome to come back to camp.
mnjiman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:30:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are the chances that they are the same person? >.>
esach88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:09:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you this was from her parents. It was something they told her when she was a bit younger and just never corrected it.
lozzero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:19:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always wonder about the parents when things like that happen. I'd like to think it was a joke gone too far, but I've had meetings with a few of my maths students and walked out with complete understanding of why the kid is failing with their times tables.
True story: About 15 years ago, I was in the car with my dad running errands in the afternoon.
He looks up and says "huh, that's the moon..."
I said "yeah dad, you've never seen the moon during the day?"
He laughs and says "no, I never noticed it before!"
Now 15 years ago my dad was 55. He's a smart guy, was in the Navy. Hell, we had a telescope, and watched the discovery channel all the time (when it was actually educational) growing up.
I still make fun of him for that one. I called in a local radio show last year and told the whole Philly area too. He just laughed.
kaeroku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm reasonably certain there was a fairly tale when I was a kid which explained the moon as the sun going to sleep at night, or something like that. I've also seen many stories like the one you posted here, of children believing the moon = night-time sun. I wonder if the two are related.
mfb- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Moon is visible during daytime about half of the time. How blind do you have to be to miss that?
OMG in elementary school i remember the moon was really clear one day, so i commented on it and a girl near me didnt believe me. She was like "the moon only comes out at night stupid" and I just pointed at it and said "its right there". She would NOT look for the entire rest of recess. I could not have been more flabberghasted.
MrDoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believed this when I was really young, but in my defence it was before we came to talk about planets in school.
My sister's friend debated me on the moon and sun being the same thing. The moon went down and would then arise as the sun according to her. She was 15 at the time, I shit you not.
ruslan40 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I vaguely remember thinking this too when I was like 3-4.
In fifth grade I went to some camp thing and the teacher asked where the moon got its light. I had heard it somewhere so I spoke up "the sun". Literally everyone broke into laughter. Thank God the teacher defended me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still not as bad as my 30 something year old sister who now beleives the moon isn't real and that it's a projection.
It sounds stupid. She's not stupid, she's degree educated etc. She's just vulnerable and doesn't believe it. She's starting following "David Ike" got her head wrapped up in all sorts of shitty Illuminati lizard people type conspiracy things.
I feel bad for her in a way, can't talk any sense in to her. I wouldn't care if it made her happy, but these things are actually causing her anxiety and she thinks the world will end and that we're in the matrix sort of thing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a somewhat reasonable question for a 4th grader to ask. It'd be a lot worse a couple years later.
I worked with a 40 something woman who thought this was the case, how she had reached that age without realising it wasn't amazed me. She worked in accounts.
Denamic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's better than the tourists that come to my home town, wanting to see the midnight sun, thinking it's a second, different sun. These are adults, and they're fairly common.
I had a class of second graders who, through casual conversation, made me aware that they thought people lived on planets in our solar system other than Earth.
I scrapped my lesson plan and had an impromptu science lesson immediately.
M002 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to explain this to one of my Chinese friends in senior year of college...
She didn't believe me until she saw both at the same time
I saw a post on reddit about a teacher who didn't realize that the moon was often visible during the day (as if the sun and moon are always on polar opposites of the earth). That was probably more egregious than this.
My 24 year old cousin (mildly religious) posted on Facebook about the end of the world and called her mother, while bawling her eyes out, all because she could see the moon at 3 pm est.
Wiktah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman year college, a friend of mine was absolutely mesmerized at the sight of the moon during day time. She thought it was only a night thing for a good 18 years of life in earth. I tried not to laugh as I noticed a burning smell, probably from the very high degree of embarrassment consuming her internally. Bio-chemistry major, she did great in the end!
There was a girl in my 8th grade science class who wasn't aware that the sun was bigger than the earth. As a matter of fact she was surprised to find out the sun was bigger than our school. She thought it was just a small orb floating in the sky. She found out when we went on a class trip to the planetarium.
PitzNR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once argued with a 21 year old guy that the moon can be visible during the day sometimes, he wouldn't believe because he "never saw it happened".
Fun fact: this happened when I was in the military, the guy was in charge of a sophisticated guided missile system with each missile cost around a million dollars.
Not a teacher, no longer a student, just a man who was once asked by an acquaintance if the moon was the other side of the sun.
She was 16 at the time.
Obviously I said yes.
frbeatle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kindergarten I used to live in Fort Worth and thought that when it was sunny there that it was night in Dallas. And vice versa. So when we visited family in Dallas I bought we went through some time portal or something cause 30-45 minutes felt like forever.
My wife believed that the sun and the moon were the same thing up until 4 years ago. Her excuse for not knowing the that this was false was that no-one had told her.
RTwhyNot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something Calvin's dad would have told him.
jmf145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a similar sense, this wasn't one of my students, but one of my co-workers students. He was a bit of a strange one already, quiet most of the time, quite smart, extremely adorable, and prone to crying randomly over the strangest things (second grade). He had a habit of every morning, walking up to our city year team, each person individually, and without saying a word, either bump fists with us, or high five us, and leaving us guessing as to which one he wanted before he did it.
One day, he was crying, and my co-worker approaches him and asked him why. It turned out he was terrified the sun was going to fall. My co-worker had to assure him that the sun was not in fact going to fall, and that she would keep it safe. After the reassurance, he became much happier, and started playing again.
Took some magic purple pills in college once, and after they kicked in I went on a long rant to anyone who would listen about how the moon was "the sun of the night!". Other purple pill users seemed equally as astounded by my notion. Normal people, not so much.
I did an impromptu science lesson that afternoon with the whole class.
Is this a good idea? If kids knew what was going on and were already making fun of her, spending half an hour on "why Suzi was, indeed, an idiot" might just make it worse.
Most of the idiotic questions I get are always linked to history (though I'm an English teacher). They have no idea about different time periods or a sense of centuries.
So I get questions such as:
'Why didn't Dickens just get on a plane?'
'Was the Internet not around then (then, being the 1700s)?'
'Were the Victorians around when dinosaurs were?'
And these are 14-16 year olds. It gets even harder for them when thinking about the few decades prior to their existence (ie. The 50s-90s). I wonder if we are all like that a little when we're so young.
Honestly. I'm a HS senior in top classes, I can assure you that at least 70% of people in my grade aren't like that. The other 30%, like you said, just had a sad upbringing and will struggle for the test of their lives.
I was annoyed then that the history classes didn't cover the Vietnam war, which ended in 1975. Yes I was alive during it, but I was 7 when it ended. It really needed to be covered in high school history.
Graduated high school in 2003. We made it to the Korean War because thatโs the war the teacher fought in. Vietnam was barely mentioned. And interesting enough as 9/11 was happening, my history teacher refused to turn on the TV. Because what had happened in the past was more important than what was going on at that very moment in time.
My AP US History class made it to the Vietnam War but it was crammed in at the end and I don't remember much. See: my unconvinced reference to the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution in another comment. We may have gotten a little further than that, but I don't remember. Our books didn't have 9/11 in them, so we never really talked about it. None of my other history classes ever made it much past WWII.
It always happens that way. You never get to the last couple chapters in the textbook because you spend so much time on the first half of the book. In high school I remember we barely got past WWII. Definitely didn't get to any of the living presidents.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I wonder if it just wasn't covered because it was still controversial? I remember 9/11 being covered in high school history even though it was 2007 so only 6 years later
I think a combination of controversial nature and older teacher (was a WWII veteran) wanting to spend time on "his war" and thinking of it as "current events" not "history."
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:27:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you forgot about humanities greatest invention. The single greatest idea world round that was able to build everything we have ever known, and leading to just about every great marvel we have ever built.
Think of it this way, a lot of things can be done the old fashioned way but it just takes a ton more time. WIth sufficient determination and manpower you can do a lot, just by throwing bodies at it.
As Loius CK said, "Well, they just threw human death and suffering at them till they were finished"
HeywardH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me wonder how many more ancient temples we would see still around today if they had more advanced engineering.
VannaTLC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think harder, Homer.
Choblach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see why you think that, but it's always an easier solution. Several other people already gave me exact answers, so I'll tell you something about the past that's always good to keep in mind.
People then were very bored. Well, they weren't, but it would be for us. There was a lot less activity and stimulation everywhere (think things like Internet and massive population centers).
But what they could do is get really damn good at things, because there was less to do for mental activity and more to do for manual labor. A guy spends 30 years stacking bricks and he'll get super good at stacking bricks. There are actual lost labor technics because in the modern era we use machines to plan out the same things instead of experience. But modern technology doesn't necessarily mean something can be done that couldn't be done before. Most of the time it just means it can be done faster, cheaper, or most importantly, with a lot less training.
Where aliens start to make sense is because you're imagining doing the task with the abilities you have now. You would need technology to achieve feats of great building. The ancients managed to do the same thing by simply putting in a whole lot of years of experience and several tubs full of elbow grease.
I genuinely believe this is an aspect of the information age that we as older people don't understand. Everything is without context on the internet, so history is more abstract and difficult to conceptualize. To these kids, everything just kinda happened at some point and it's just sorta there as a piece of information, a thing people said happened.
This is very true, history is now one of the most important classes (no more part time gym teachers teaching it, hopefully) to learn how to recognize the lack of context and how to find it.
Eiroth ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:06:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a 16-year old, these people sound like a minority, though I can only hope...
Not really, but I grew up in the boonies with antenna TV that had maybe 7 channels. If the wind was blowing too strong we couldn't watch TV and had to find something else to do. Then again, we had large cow pastures around us to play in, so....
I just meant it would be hard to conceptualize as a kid that there was a point in time when things like TVs, telephones, cars, did not exist. Just like kids of today would struggle with understanding how something internet did not exist.
It was sort of hard to imagine, but not really. Again, though, for me, it's probably because I lived in the boonies and technology wasn't very reliable so basically the only pieces of tech we used regularly were a TV and a prepaid phone. And old third or fourth-hand cars (really banged up. Lot of childhood memories involving an old Crown Vic that could never be put into 2nd gear - 1st and 3rd worked fine, would occasionally turn off in the middle of the road).
I usually compare my childhood to being raised in the 90's because of our limited exposure to technology even though I was born in '95.
And I also remember watching "Little House on the Prarie" when it was a week-long miniseries, so I guess that also helps me visualize life without the technology we have.
Last of the Millennials was born in 2004 according to Strauss-Howe, which is the model I ascribe to. But yes, today's youngest kids (<11) are not Millennials, I agree. I don't see why we should suspect they read any less though either.
There is a point where numbers just do not actually make sense in our minds, no matter how well we understand something.
As a practice for this, imagine a dollar bill in front of you (americans. Do the equivalent for all you less awesome people ;))
You can do it pretty easily.
Now, imagine ten dollar bills in front of you. Still possible. Not exactly difficult.
Now, A hundred. A thousand. There, we have issues. Even seeing one hundred dollars bills, we have issues with determining just how much it is by sight. In our minds, it is just a stack or a large spread of dollar bills.
Penn explains it with M&M's candy-coated chocolates here, if anyone wants a visual example instead of relying on their imagination (or for those people who are literally unable to picture things in their head).
Your point is sound, but I disagree with your example.
That is more a lack of knowledge of the history of Egypt and when the transition between "ancient" and "modern" Egypt happened.
I like the money example, since it's so common in movies and tv. Lazy (more likely broke) scriptwriters think 10k or 1mil dollars is a lot of money in the context of the characters.
They regularly show "rich" people with bodyguards willing to die for them, stressing over a million dollars. If you can afford a penthouse in NYC or a "compound" with a helipad, 1mil dollars might sting a bit, but certainly not to the level you'd want to die over. I mean, just hand over two of those super cars.
Same with the generic "briefcase full of stacks of 100s", if each bundle is 10k, an entire briefcase full would be 100 stacks, much fewer than the number shown in the briefcase.
That's pretty much what my lesson turned into in one particular lesson, when the kids were getting confused about the different technological advancements, art and fashion in decades.
I put the 1850s on one end of the board and the 2010s on the other end (of a large double board) and spent almost an hour moving through history with key events, inventions, artistic movements etc. I'm not sure how much they got but they were asking lots of engaging questions, which I always think is a good sign.
It gets even harder for them when thinking about the few decades prior to their existence (ie. The 50s-90s). I wonder if we are all like that a little when we're so young.
This reminds me of University. I got a degree in History, and I remember taking a class on 20th Century American Politics around the year 2005 and the professor refused to cover Watergate because it was "too recent." (She went up to 1968 and the election of Nixon and stopped.)
I had another class around the same time, 2005 or 2006, on the Cold War. The professor refused to cover the end of it. We got to the mid-80s, pre-Perestroika, and stopped.
I think a lot of that had to do with the professor's ages, and their specific areas of expertise, but it still annoys me.
I would lose my shit at age seven or eight when my friends would mix up playmobil sets, and equip union soldiers with walkie-talkies. I tried to reason with them, but apparently I was the only one allergic to anachronisms.
I have this problem but not to that extent. In my school system, we're taught prehistory, then thru to modern times. Then we do it again. And again. More in depth each time. So you have very little reference as to what happened at the same times
maybe it has to do with being well-read and parents... I read a lot of books growing up, my dad watched tonnes of documentaries and my mom loved historical movies.
No, no we weren't. They are products of being born in the most relaxed and comfortable age in modern history. I didn't have a smartphone until I was 19. I'm adamant that they adversely affect cognitive thinking abilities...Or maybe I'm just really stoned....I should get back to work...
It took until I was an adult to fully start piecing when stuff was together. All through school you learn history topic by topic so it just becomes this mish mash of things that happened, it's only once you have lived more than a couple of decades and appreciate what the '00s and '90s were that you can tangibly quantify what the 30s or 1850's or whatever are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And when they turn 18, they have the right to vote!
I wonder if we are all like that a little when we're so young.
Hell not only when we are young, most people can't fathom that there was a time in human civilization where people didn't have alarm clocks or set times to do everything in their day. It's a completely foreign concept to how we live today.
Could be a nice idea to get a roll of fax paper, unroll a long strip and make a time scale of the last 2000 years , make it long enough to go around 2 walls of the classroom, with big labels and drawings to marc dig events and eras, and the lifes of important people,
The internet has made history difficult to understand.
ajkp2557 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Off topic question, but is your grammar correct in your second example question correct? Genuine question since I am terrible with commas. My inclination would be to put "then" in the parenthetical in quotation marks, but you used a comma. Which is correct?
realyak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickens was 1800s. 19th century.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And these are 14-16 year olds.
as someone who teaches college freshmen English: they do not improve
I directed a production of Bye Bye Birdie which of course takes place in the late 1950s. While staging the iconic "Telephone Hour" number one of the kids actually stopped me and asked, "Why do we have these old phones and not cellphones? I mean, didn't they have cell phones in the '50s?"
I taught a history activity at an outdoor education center. The kids were constantly asking why the early settlers of the area didn't just call 911 for any life threatening emergency. After all, all of the kids had brought their cellphones along for the fieldtrip. Why wouldn't the settlers just throw a cellphone in the back of their wagon? The kids were usually in middle school.
I still have issues knowing what came first and in what order. It was just never laid out on a timeline for me to see.
Dinosaurs, then extinction, then?? I'll have to google a timeline later.
tylerchu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 10th grade, one of my classmates asked in all seriousness if Abe Lincoln was black. His reasoning was that since nobody liked black people back then, only a black man would want to help them. But since nobody liked blacks, how did a black man get voted president?
Honestly it's probably kind of difficult for kids nowadays to really grasp what things were like before the internet was ubiquitous.
I'm 26 so I grew up alongside the rise of the internet. My parents are pretty tech-savvy so we had a nice computer and AOL almost as soon as it became a thing, so I pretty much grew up using the internet since I was around 6 or 7.
Kids now are growing up using the internet and smartphones pretty much from toddler age, so they don't have any real concept of what things were like before computers took over. It's not a bad thing, just the way technological progress works, but it colors their perspective on the past.
I used to teach English at a community college. About half my students thought that the Vikings ransacked Europe roughly 40 years before the Nazis did.
To be fair we do have a weird since of history like a lot of people don't know that mammoths still existed when the pyramids were being built. Also trains were invented before bicycles.
shane201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think the number of the century people talked about was actually just the shortened version of the full year. Like 15th century meant years1500s to 1599, etc...
Yes there is! It's called amorphous ice, which occurs when water is cooled very rapidly, not giving the water molecules enough time to form themselves into crystals.
Dallagen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken in Korean is ์นํจ, which is pronounced 'Chi-kin,' so it's understandable for a student to ask about its translation. Similar to people asking how to say 'hi' in ASL.
Wait, so you're telling me the Korean word for chicken is "duck"?
gujayeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:51:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahah "dahk" is more what it sounds like but yeah basically. and duck is "ori" :)
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:50:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I was wondering how that double consonant was pronounced. Why is ๋ญ dak, but ์ is eop instead of eot? Is there some list of priorities?
gujayeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if the final consonant is a double consonant, there is not a fast rule on which one is pronounced. This article covers it really well and actually even brings up both ๋ญ and ์๋ค about halfway down the page! http://www.howtostudykorean.com/unit0/197-2/
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They recently developed a new tank that has 12 different gears. Eleven of them go in reverse, and one goes forward just in case the enemy attacks from behind.
The English habit of calling the French 'frogs' is allegedly something the French started. Non-Parisians called Parisians 'frogs' because Paris is built on a swamp.
The French custom of eating frogs, or at the very least, frogs' legs, hasn't helped the cause, because "you are what you eat". For similar reason's the French call the English "Rosbifs" on account of our predilection for roast beef.
Looping back to the Korean student's question, apparently frogs' legs taste a bit like chicken.
sleep6 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
frog legs are surprisingly tasty. that's not something i could say about any food that's come from the british isles
LeTreacs ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:06:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, the French have been military badasses since the beginning. I heard that it was some recent (last couple decades) propaganda from somewhere or other by people who disagreed with something France did or didn't do, but I can't seem to find the real answer.
Pasglop ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:52:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, as a Frencham, I think I can answer:
It probably has to do with the Iraq war, because Bush wanted that Oil, but Chirac did not want to follow, and basically told America to go suck it. This eld to many peoeple in America disliking France (hence the Freedom Fries nonsense/embarassment); Furthermore, we were pussies because we did not followed in their pointless wars, and after they realized they saved our asses in 44 (thanks for that), they began to say that the French coudln't war at all (pretty much ignoring 1776, but hey)
Yeah, the French have always held off the British pretty well, helped the US actually survive our war for independence, once conquered most of Europe, were invaded in WWII due to Germany's new tech and tactics that had never been seen before, yet they kept fighting through the French resistance, and to this day get some crazy stuff done through brilliant use of their relatively small, but well-trained and equipped military. After doing some thinking, I now can't stand the whole French surrendering bullshit that goes around these days, and try to call people out on it whenever I can. You guys are great.
Pasglop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an Englishman, I'll confess that I enjoy the joke. But stepping aside from fun national rivalries for a second I'll admit that I absolutely love French history. The Revolution and Napoleonic Wars are two of my favourite periods and the influence the French have had on the world stage cannot be understated in any way. Plus your anthem is what pure badass sounds like as a song.
I believe it started in WW2, some felt that France surrendered too quickly to Hitler, when they had a bigger army. To be fair, France was still traumatized by the casualties from the first war and their military was disorganized, with some officers actually favoring the nazis. Still, they surrendered in just 6 weeks despite DeGaulle's efforts and Paris fell without a fight (it was declared an open city).
Post war animosity between the US and France, plus the Vietnam War just perpetuated the stereotype.
The French had their greatest period under napolean. Before that they were regularly invaded and attacked by the British, lost badly in Italy when they tried to expand, lost the Alsace Lorraine to the Prussians, got whopped by Attila and the Goths, were conquered decisively by Caesar, faired badly in all the crusades, were almost conquered by the Germans like 5 times, and they lost worse than the US in Vietnam and Algeria.
I think it has more to do with some of their not so impressive performances since Napoleon.
The French had an embarrassing capitulation in 1871 when the Prussians decisively defeated their imperial army and successfully besieged Paris. This allowed the Prussians to set terms, unify their loose states, and take Alsace-Lorraine from the French.
Not exactly military-related, but the French originally sought the grand undertaking of building the Panama Canal but failed halfway through. It was only finished when the Americans took it over.
World War 1 was also not glorious. After the Russians went Bolshevik the Germans were poised to defeat the French with all their troops from the Eastern front. If not for fresh American soldiers, the French probably would have lost again.
And we all know how WW2 played out. The Germans blitzed them, the French capitulated and saw southern France cooperating with the Nazis.
All that said it's not really fair to call the French cowards for any of this. Much of these failures had to do with a variety of factors out of their control. Regardless, that's probably why France's reputation has been mocked in modern times.
When has France ever acted otherwise than as a great military power,
I think this comes mostly from WWII when in 1936 France had one of the most powerful land armies in the world and yet when the war began other countries fought much longer and harder. France surrendered extremely quickly and effectively gave their forces and resources over to the enemy. In fact half the country headed by Philippe Petain actually joined the Germans voluntarily!
So probably the meme stems from grudges against the French rolling over and giving in during the most recent massive war for most countries, and everyone forgot historical victories. French soldiers on the side of Hitler fighting against American and British in North Africa isn't going to easily be forgotten when they were supposed to be allies and supposed to fight tooth and nail.
That's ... not really true actually. The Polish fought back, they weren't put on the genocide docket. The Russians, perhaps, were victims of the "Graus Holocaust," but for the most part Holocaust victims were peoples who couldn't fight back; disabled, Roma, people who weren't white, Christian minorities, and (in most countries) Jews.
Then what the fuck were you talking about? How is that a rational fear if those who fought back weren't targeted as you suggest (although you admit the Russians were questionable)?
It is reasonable to expect that more vigerous guerilla warfare in the population would result in harsher treatment and that at least held true to my knowledge. I'm not sure about your claim of racial targeting for fighting back but you can't have it both be a realistic danger and unrealistic at the same time!
Which at the time no one could really fault them. The way they were treated at Versailles was disgusting an definitley not a good move by the french people.
Agreed, the Entente powers caused WWII with their callous shortsightedness. Hitler didn't do very much right, but the fault lies with the British and the French
In the future you might want to add quotation marks around certain words to ensure everyone understands you're being ironic, and not making the same mistake as the commenter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's an American stereotype. English people think the French are a bunch of poncy bastards (in a friendly way) but we don't think they're cowards.
When Koreans say the word "chicken" they mean fried chicken and when they say the native Korean word for chicken, then they mean chicken in any other form.
To be fair, learning another language fucks with your mind. When I was learning Arabic it was like I was in a constant fog of confusion and my English suffered as a result.
Lkmuscle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:31:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cock
irotsoma ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:57:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took me a while to get my wife to start saying rooster instead of cock. It was funny the first time in the middle of the store when she said "I like that cock plate" or something similar when seeing a plate with a rooster on it. I guess in China they learn British dialects, so it's understandable. But I think most British people know not to say it in the US. Just like I know queue, torch, lift, etc. when talking to Brits and their former colonials, Indians, Chinese, etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the point of this was that he was he was asking what it was in English, in English. If he did in Korean, then it's a completely normal question, right?
Off topic question, but how do you get into teaching english in foreign countries? Im fairly interested but have no clue how to go about doing it
cary1994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's like someone asking a Spanish teacher how to say salsa in Spanish. This actually happened in my class yesterday, btw.
Chemie93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean. Maybe he knew the word but not the meaning. Like looking for context or maybe he was called chicken in game and needs colloquial slang understanding.
yeontura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it wasnt for the fact that ๋ญ (korean word for chicken) is uesd just as often as ์นํจ(chi-kin) I would say fair enough. But come on, ๋ญ๊ฐ๋น is the best!!
There was one like this in my intro Spanish class at University. We were writing an in-class assignment and this guy raises his hand and asks how to say "Salsa" in Spanish.
ColdGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Kitchen'
Ph33rles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, in japanese chicken is chikin so that might be a valid question, don't know korean well enough
scolfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get how that is a weird question. Was it funny because they asked how to say ์นํจ in English instead of ๋ญ?
Taumain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my more embarrassing moments at a french camp was asking, in french, "How do you say deja vu in french?" My face luckily showed that I figured it out pretty quickly after I said it.
I once had a boyfriend who spoke English as a second language (actually a fifth language, but whatever). He could not for the life of him keep the words "chicken" and "kitchen" straight. It was hilarious
Alfique ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Been living in korea for a year now and I have learned that some of their words don't have a korean word for it. Things typically brought here after the war by the American military tend to be English words. Like Taxi is what koreans call taxi's, that is what they have always known them as.
[deleted] ยท 9047 points ยท Posted at 11:43:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well your 2 cents is more than my penny for your thoughts
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this is a joke but where do you work that you make so little? I'm in school to become a teacher now and when I start with a bachelor's in bio and a master's in education I will be making over 50K the first year, depending on where I go exactly and what other responsibilities I take on it could go over 60k.
The school is in rural Georgia, so it's not a huge surprise... but it is why I'm leaving the profession. I can't build my life on 2k a month and the money isn't worth the stress and the hours. I'm a good teacher- awards, recommendations, the whole nine yards. I just can't live with the pay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stuck for a few years (boyfriend is Air Force), but it's soured me on the profession. The money isn't enough to make up for the stress and the stress is killing me.
Maybe if you are bilingual and also teach Spanish.
As someone who already has my teaching degree, and has already left the field for the private sector, clearly my advice is invalid.
If you're lucky enough to find one of the five school districts in America that actually has the money to hire new teachers, remember that every other qualified candidate costs about $20,000 a year less than you do to hire. In fact, many of them who are more qualified, because they have actual real world experience, are cheaper than you.
But, what do I know, I'm just a kid.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife got a job teaching without even a certification making 50K as an ENGLISH teacher in Dallas.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, the counties I'm going to apply to Do not pay people without a master's 20K less. Lol. My master's bonus is less than 2K. You are clearly an "expert".
Actually that's a fairly recent thing, our dollar has usually been close to yours except, the .65$ is pretty new
jctheslp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in FL. All the people I know who became teachers still live with their parents or are splitting rent several ways with other teachers. They're contemplating moving to GA to make more money. FL pays teachers almost nothing.
LegionSB ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:02:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa whoa whoa, what district is throwing around those kind of raises?
My dad's a teacher and I felt that right in the overwhelming amount of Christmas gifts they couldn't afford.
thefrc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Avg Salary for Teacher: 47,664$
Number of seconds in a school day: 21600
There are 180 school days (most places), so you'll need to earn 264$ per day in to get the average salary. At a nickel a piece, that's 5280 kids per day, or one every 4.1-ish seconds.
Huh; salaries must be way lower everywhere else; the average salary of a Chicago Public Schools teacher, as of new 12/31/2016, is $71,936, and that's according to CPS itself.
thefrc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took average salary of high school teachers across the USA.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah. You have to teach in Chicago. I wonder if they get hazard pay.
rezachi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Looks around his neighborhood full of retired teachers with nice cars and big houses, then down the street to the one still teaching and admires his huge new truck and boat)
Fuck...
Kiosade ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why teachers always complain about their salary... I know a guy that just started being a teacher a year or two ago, and he makes way more than me as an engineer...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kiosade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it sounds like he teaches at one of the cruddier schools in the area, so maybe they pay higher to attract teachers? I dunno...
Eh, I've been asked if I was gay before because merely because I was kind and understanding, and because I don't sleep with women just because I have the opportunity to. I wonder what kind of losers that woman had in her life to assume that.
boroxine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother came out to me (not verbally, that would have been so awkward) as straight just after I came out to him as gay (also not verbally, we're not a talky family). I don't know which of us was more surprised.
Well shit, have you not tried just a little bit of the gash? See if you like it? I'd really like to be able to change the subject when grandma asks how your education is going.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:46:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whew. What a load off my chest. Thank good I skipped class for this
I had a friend whose brother died of a heroin overdose, and because he was home or distraught or something wanted to be excused from a test. The teacher said that's fine, he would gladly excuse him as long as he sent some sort of proof. Well, the whole family flipped. They screamed at the teacher and the school for questioning them, especially through such a hard time, blah blah blah. I think they even wanted the teacher disciplined.
But stories like yours outline why the teacher was perfectly reasonable. Kids will make up anything to get out of a test or boost their grades, especially considering how competitive grad schools are.
Edit: The timeline wasn't the issue. He could have presented proof later. The family felt like it was an accusation that my friend was lying, and that it was insensitive since they were going through such a traumatic experience that asking them to do it in the first place was insensitive.
dude_icus ยท 1140 points ยท Posted at 14:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does suck though for the kids that aren't lying. When my grandmother passed away unexpectedly a couple years back, my sister asked her professors if it would be alright to miss a day of class. I think there was a quiz or something scheduled that day. One of them demanded a death certificate as proof. An obit would not suffice. She ended up not going to the funeral at all because of that. It sucks balls that there are kids who have 5 grandparents die during the course of a semester than no one can take other people seriously when they say someone has passed.
EDIT: Since my joke is falling flat, I will explain. 5 grandparents meaning the student didn't keep track of their lies and ended up with more grandparents than the average person which is odd by itself, let alone that they all died within 5 months of each other. Yes, I know that some people have more than 4 grandparents through remarriage. My boyfriend has 6. Yes, I know that some people get very unlucky and have a string of people die in a short amount of time, and I feel incredibly sorry for them.
[deleted] ยท 413 points ยท Posted at 14:48:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does this work in the US? In Japan, recently had a family member die, and we got a certificate at the hospital the night of the death, in fact the funeral home couldn't take the body unless they got such a legal notice.
It has to go to the county office and be approved/signed by a clerk or judge. I think it's mostly for record keeping. In my brothers case, that took 8 months it was because of the autopsy. They got the information/samples but then had to run various tests and do reports before sending it off to the clerks office.
Birth certificates are done the same way. It can take 4-6 weeks for an official birth certificate.
And you could so easily make the call without explicitly asking for proof. Just an "I heard about it from X and wanted to extend my condolences. If there's anything the school can do for you please let us know." If they go 'wtf are you talking about', you know the kid lied.
ziggl ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:40:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooo, sneaky but also doing a good thing. That's pretty wholesome of you, Cakeperson.
That might work at a small college, but I went to a state university with like 40,000 undergrads. I had a geography class in an auditorium with 300 students. I doubt my professor knew my name, let alone my phone number or my parents' phone number. I guess if the professor cared enough he could request that info from the registrar's office?
What if I dropped dead in the middle of geography class? Wouldn't the professor or campus security be able to get my parent's phone number from the registrar then?
Should. Hell, when my great aunt passed when I was in college, they didn't ask for anything. They just expressed their condolences, and that was it. Mind you, I went to a college that was a lot smaller than the one my sister went to, and they knew me a lot better than my sister's professors knew her.
Maybe? All the professors heard the same story, and there wasn't anything due that day that I couldn't turn in online. Also, when you only have 10-20 kids in the class and there are 10 professors in the department, you know which kids make up dead relatives and which don't.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:18:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know that I don't really care about proof unless there is a test on the day, lessons are easily made up.
Right? I ask for proof of things like that, but really anything "official" would count for me. Obit, funeral program, or even a letter from Mom would work. Honestly, it's mostly so that when I'm looking at participation and stuff at the end of the year, I don't see that absence and think that it was unexcused. Though I take a more "professional" position on absences than some. If they would be excused from work, they're excused from my class.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:24:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on how an obit is worded, there may be no proof that the deceased is related to the student. I've seen where they say Mrs. Whoever is survived by her children and grandchildren only listing first names. A deceptive kid could totally skim the obits to make up a bs story.
This is true. My own grandparents obituaries don't list either my sister or me by name, just in the "10 grandchildren" line. However, I would also give people the benefit of the doubt if this was their first time approaching me about it. She shouldn't have been judged for the misdeeds of others.
I think standard practice is to list first names of the survivors if they have the same last name, and last names if the names do not match. But I think I'd still give them the benefit of the doubt (though I think when I have requested documentation, I've said "something with your name on it").
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nor are they always cheap depending on your area
Fey_fox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:58:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. In a situation like this you take the obituary and go to your advisor and the dean of the professor's area. If he is the dean, go to his boss. You are paying to be there. Yes your teacher has a right to ask for proof but a death certificate is extreme. Like the family isn't going through enough.
TheHYPO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:37:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need to show the death certificate to tie up all sorts of formal loose ends when someone dies. Why is it "offensive" to add one more to the list? You're paying to be there, but so are the other dozens or hundreds of students who you're being graded against, and they have a right to ensure people aren't lying to get out of a test - especially in class (which may not be that many, but there are some) that are graded on a curve.
It's just sort of excessive. Assuming my grandma passed away, the last thing I would want to do would be to bother my grieving grandfather/parents for the death certificate. I think it would be disrespectful to ask that of my family and disrespectful for a teacher to expect a student to do that too. I think an obituary or one of those pamphlets would suffice, assuming the professor required any proof.
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe every family is different. If my grandparent passed away (which, as it happens, one recently did), I would feel an insider to that grieving and among those making plans and arrangements for getting to the funeral and taking the time off etc. and not an outsider bothering those for a death certificate. Maybe others are different.
Have you been in the situation of losing a grandparent (not assuming the answer either way, just wondering if you are assuming what it would be like or speaking from experience).
I think it would be disrespectful to ask that of my family.
Everyone's different I guess. As I said, I personally feel that people underestimate the logistics and planning and decisions and arrangements that have to be made after someone dies. There's lots of paperwork, and lots of copies of death certificates have to be made so bank accounts can be transferred or real property moved or insurance policies paid out etc. Saying "Hey mom; yes of course I'm going to come to the funeral. I'm going to need a copy of the death certificate for the school because there's an exam that day" is not disrespectful, in my personal opinion. Adults should be more than away of the fact that colleges deal with tons of kids inventing dead grandparents to get out of college and understand why the request is being made.
But typically the person who is handling arrangements is going to be either the spouse or the child of a grandparent passing. Grandchildren, especially those in college, are not typically dealing with that stuff so they would not, under most circumstances, have easy access to a death certificate.
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but much of the time, the parent of the person in college is either one of the children handling it, or, as a child of the deceased, should be in a position to ask for it without offending the other equally close mourners on behalf of their child. It's not a third cousin coming in to ask.
I mean, maybe this is just my experience. I'd expect to receive a phone call from my mother or father (depending on whose parent died) telling me the details of the funeral, at which point I'd expect to say "I have an exam that day. My professor is going to want to see a copy of the death certificate to let me miss the exam".
Everyone is different, but I'd expect the focus at that moment is figuring out the logistics to get everyone together for the funeral, and not stopping to question why the professor has chosen that level of evidence. Again, others have pointed out that perhaps it's not as easy for some to get a death certificate as others depending on circumstance or geography, so there's that; but I don't see it as an "offensive" thing for a grandchild to bring up in the context. The grandchild isn't just going to go out of the blue "Hey, sorry about grandpa, but anyone have a copy of the death certificate I can borrow? I really want to skip this exam". Obviously.
Fey_fox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like the others have said, it's excessive. Depending on what state you're in it could take a month or two to get a copy, or longer depending on how the person died. The semester could be over by then. It's a lot of legwork vs just showing a copy from a newspaper or bring a funeral program.
This isn't like closing a bank account or selling a deceased person's house. It's a test at college. Professor is just being heavy handed when it's simply not necessary.
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's a problem in the US. I can't say I've dealt with that many deaths, but I've always understood here that the funeral home issues them right away. They are often needed for the executor to access the deceased's account to get the money to pay for the funeral. I admit I have no experience where the death is suspicious or investigated over a long period of time, and obviously different places do things differently.
It's a test at college. Professor is just being heavy handed when it's simply not necessary.
Again, that's all a matter of opinion. College is supposed to be training for the real world, and unfortunately, there's more abuse of this kind of thing by immature slackers than actual claims by unfortunately students. The real problem is that the college itself should have a universal policy. It shouldn't be up to the professor to decide what he or she wants to accept.
Actually, now that I've gotten into genealogy, it would be stupidly easy for me to fake a death certificate for a male relative especially. Just claim he's a junior and change the dates around a little bit.
Now that I think about it, for some bizarre reason a cousin of mine laminated a copy of my grandfather's obituary. I have it somewhere.
I mean, I never would use the thing to skip work (I could just call in sick if I needed a MHD,) but knowing my grandfather, I think he would enjoying having his obituary used this way. I don't think there's any years listed. The only problem would be that I'm getting a little too old to believably have a grandfather
My Meme's obit is still on our fridge. My maternal grandmother has a ton of obituaries in a little box for when her brother and sisters passed. I think a lot of people use to "collect" obits before the internet became a thing and most newspapers now have a digital archive of them.
You can create fake obits and news articles. I did that a few years ago to a racist bigot at my job. We got her to think Jimmy Johns was racist and used expired meat in their sandwiches. We would always go to JJ and she would run around screaming how we were all supporting racism and we were going to die of cancer from eating Jimmy Johns subs.
An obit, particularly if you call up a small town newspaper, is cheap as hell.
A letter/call from mom? Seriously? This is a college course, presumably. The professor doesn't know who your mom is, how is either at all verifiable? These are adults, now, not high schoolers.
It sucks that people take advantage, but a death certificate isn't necessarily out of line, nor would it be hard to get a copy of. A call to whatever family member is handling the arrangements would do, I'd think.
TheHYPO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:36:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sitcoms like to pretend that it's a huge social faux pas to ask for a copy of the death certificate, but seriously, in real life, I find that generally most people understand the practicalities of real life and aren't in any way offended by someone making a practical request like this (particularly semi-immediate family like a grandchild. Presumably the student's parent is going to have access to the certificate either directly or with fair ease.
My dad was (and is) fairly sick, so his sister and brother were handling the arrangements. No one in my immediate family (Mom, Dad, sister or myself) ever saw the death certificate.
Also, when my Meme passed in 2015 and then Pop passed in 2016, my boss never asked for a death certificate. Shockingly, he never even asked for a obituary. Not everyone asks for legal proof, especially in smaller environments like my college and my current place of employment.
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone asks for legal proof, especially in smaller environments like my college and my current place of employment.
Oh, I agree. I'm not saying it is standard; I'm just saying I understand it. Every place or every prof is going to have their own criteria or trust for students (or perhaps even for different students).
Colleges are known for kids inventing dead relatives. They conveniently pop up at critical moments. I'm sure this is more true for large colleges where the student to prof ratio is high, there's no real personal connection so kids think they can get away with it, as compared to a smaller college that perhaps feels more intimate or familial.
I suspect that most workplaces don't have a huge issue with people taking days off for fake dead relatives, and if they do, most jobs don't have an equivalent of "exam day" where your entire job for the year is dependant on one day's performance; The "payoff" for taking a day off work by lying is simply not as great as skipping a college exam, and it's less likely that someone would make up something like that to simply get off a day of work. "I'm sick", for example, is a far less disprovable lie for skipping a day of work, and most workplaces won't ask for a doctor's not like a college will.
Anyway, I'm not saying I'm right or that there is a "right" answer here or anything, but just throwing my opinion out there because I do believe that it's offensive how much abuse of things like claiming dead relatives or sickness there is to give people an unfair advantage on exams or other projects, and I understand why a prof would want to put someone to a stringent burden of proof.
I know you think that's how this works, but I'm guessing you don't have much relevant experience here.
Both of my parents have passed away in the past few years and I'm the executor of their estate. I'm telling you from personal experience that this process isn't always simple. It varies from state to state based on the resources they have, it varies based on whether an autopsy needed to be performed, the cost varies, etc.
It took nearly four months for my father's death certificate to be issued. The state government of Alabama doesn't work well (a vast understatement) and the process was slow and bureaucratic.
I'm sorry your state sucks, but, presumably, you'd be able to explain that your state sucks to your professor. Policies aren't ever set in stone and people are very rarely just plain heartless.
Just because in your specific case, in your specific state, with your specific circumstances it was a pain and took 4 months doesn't mean that as a general policy this professor is satan or in any way out of line.
It doesn't. My father isn't from that state, nor am I, but he was travelling through at the time of his death. This adds to the difficulty of the whole situation.
This is precisely my point. You can't know the situations involved so expecting everyone to produce a death certificate immediately is unrealistic.
Of course I didn't state the professor was satan, only pointing out that the claim about a death certificate being easy to get a hold of isn't true in many cases.
Also, as an executor, it's a waste of a death certificate for a relative to get excused from class. I needed around twenty death certificates to settle my father's estate, but they cost per certificate, so if I needed to order enough to excuse all of my father's relatives from class then I'd need to order double that amount.
Of course that cost is borne by the executor themselves, because before the death certificate is issued there's no access to the deceased funds. So this professor is basically demanding some poor executor somewhere pay $30 or more out of pocket just to prove a relative isn't a liar. If the deceased has many relatives that could get expensive very quickly.
Relying on an obituary seems sufficient. So what if they can be faked? So could a death certificate for that matter. It's not a like a professor is going to investigate the death personally.
He just asked for a copy. It's not that much of a burden to ask aunt Sue or whomever the executor is to make a copy of something they already have to get for the more official business.
Don't be mad at a professor who has had to deal with students referencing random vague obituaries or forging notes/phone calls- be mad at the students who caused the professor to have lost inherent trust in the first place.
The only way my sister would be able to get her hands on one would be to ask whoever got the copies to make a copy for her which she didn't want to bother them for as they were planning a funeral for their mother who died very suddenly one morning. (Seriously, she was probably dead before she hit the ground, that sudden.)
In Virginia, a grandchild cannot get an official copy from Vital Records unless 25 years have passed making the death "public record" or they are a direct beneficiary of the estate which we weren't because everything (which wasn't much) went to her husband.
Death sucks, but it's a fact of life. Asking the family member who is serving as the contact for the necessary official end of life paperwork for a copy of something they need to get anyway isn't that big of a deal. 9 times out of 10, the timing won't make it a big deal anyway since the odds of a tragedy happening in line with the specific timing of a key quiz or test is remote.
I really don't intend to come off as heartless, I've just been told by a professor friend of mine that the number of grandparent deaths that correspond with midterms and finals is astronomical when you teach a 100 person lecture.
Admittedly, the paper that her obit was printed in was the Richmond Times Dispatch, and it wasn't cheap from what I remember, though I cannot find pricing online for the life of me. Of course, neither mine nor my sister's name was printed directly as we are lumped under the "10 grandchildren" bit.
TheHYPO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:27:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can go into the newspaper and find an obit from any city in the country for someone who looks old enough to be a grandparent. Just need to find one that doesn't say "Loving grandmother of [names]". Nothing says a grandmother has to have the same surname as you. An obit is some evidence, but it's hard to say it's "proof".
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:29:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that would suck for me in that case because my name wasn't listed in either of my paternal grandparent's obits. (My Meme's and my Pop's.) I got lumped into the 10 grandchildren part because you had to pay by the line and it was getting expensive really quick.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't list names of the grand or great grandchildren. I could be a great grandchild. If I went to college out of town, easy enough to claim this is my grandmother or great grandmother.
This isn't about how many days off, as much as it is (almost always) skipping an exam or due date. Just missing an ordinary day of class isn't something that would normally merit a lie unless attendance speaks to your grade. Usually it's just tests or project deadlines that matter and when people need to ask permission to miss class/the deadline.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:31:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't prove she's related to the person, though. Anyone can find an obituary, a death certificate would probably only be available to family.
Some classes are set up in such a way that missing a quiz can really fuck your grade up. I've noticed a lot of professors seem to structure their class in a way that punishes people that don't come, so it could be a result of that.
Axethor ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:46:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even just missing quizzes or tests. I had professors where if you missed a day you would lose 5-10% of your final grade on the spot. A single day, no "Grace period" (which I think is still bullshit).
It's ridiculous when this happens. One time, I had whooping cough and emailed a teacher who had a policy like this and he said I would not be excused. So I went to class, coughing for like 3 minutes at a time unable to really breathe and leaving the room. Eventually the teacher asked "Why did you even come today if you're disrupting the class?". I looked him dead in the eye and said "Because you told me I had to attend otherwise I'd lose points, so really, this is your problem". He didn't like that.
But I left a pretty scathing review on ratemyprofessor so I guess I got the last laugh. (Sorry to any classmates who got whooping cough from me).
I'm the type that never misses class, I like to say my brain has never realized class is optional lol. But even though it doesn't effect me at all (in fact it might help me when you bring the class curve into the equation) I HATE that professors can deduct points for attendance and shit.
College isn't some fucking game, some people learn differently than others, just because you're butthurt that no one wants to watch you mumble over department made slides doesn't mean people should have to retake a class they paid good money for.
Axethor ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:31:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Honestly, I think the professors that do this, do so because they know people won't like their class and try to skip.
I had a professor that didn't have an attendance policy. The class was Discrete Math. On the first day he told us we could skip every day of class if we wanted and he wouldn't deduct any points for attendance. Of course, it was a hard as hell math class, so if you could miss every class except for the days we had tests and still get an A, power to you. I don't think a single person skipped a day.
That is how professors should run their classes. Make it so students want to attend and don't directly punish them for not attending. Make the punishment that they didn't learn the subject matter cause they skipped and they fail the tests.
I had one professor who would refuse to put any resources online. Mind you, I actually prefer professors that use only the blackboard, even if it means they won't have slides to upload.
But this guy would refuse to put anything: any notes, practice problems, homework solutions. And when people would ask he would just tell them to come to class.
For a quick evaluation of his teaching skills, I got a solid C on his midterm with a 29/100 lol.
My school had a university-wide attendance policy that was basically that you could miss the amount of hours the class was worth(so a class worth three hours that met three times a week for an hourish each day could be missed three times, for example) without the teacher taking off points, and past that it was up to the teacher if they wanted to enforce attendance.
I always thought it was a good policy, since it mandated that teachers had to give students some leeway for sickness and mental health days while still giving the teachers the power to decide how important attendance was.
Just as a heads up: if you find yourself in this situation, ask the professor if you can take the quiz or test early. Indicate you would come in during office hours (or some other scheduled time). Most instructors at the college level seem agreeable about taking a test early.
Dogpool ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 15:18:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, this is just me, but Id go anyway. That teacher can shove that test up their ass. They want a death certificate. Fuck them.
Still not proof. You could just go to a funeral home and take a picture of anyone in a casket. Now, maybe if you had grandma in the casket holding up her obituary and death certificate, that would be OK.
When my sister's school asked for my daughter's death certificate I told them theu could shove it. I told them I would bring her ashes to the school if they needed more proof, but to expect a scene. Luckily, the teacher stepped in and made it clear this was a real death. I had just lost my oldest daughter at six days old and my grandpa four months later. I was in no mood to cooperate.
I don't know why you would pick such a militant path of action as opposed to being more professional about it, but to each their own.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because death certificates aren't easily come by under such circumstances. Can you imagine her grandpa/parents dealing with the funeral arrangements, estate, etc., and she has to add to their stress by pestering them for a copy of the death certificate because her professor's being a douchebag? It's waaay easier to take a selfie with the corpse en coffin and the sign outside the room at the funeral home indicating which funeral is taking place.
Or you could just take a picture of the sign that indicates that the funeral is in session. You can do what you want, but don't act like you're being nice to the professor when you send them a selfie with a dead body in it. And yes, that is in a different stratosphere of rudeness compared to the professor asking you for proof of death; your action would be motivated by nothing but anger, angst, and contempt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asking for a death certificate as the only acceptable proof of death is the height of contempt, callousness, and malignant distrust. Professor deserves to be made uncomfortable if he won't accept the MYRIAD other forms of perfectly acceptable evidence: death announcements in the press, a call from the funeral home, or fuck, even a call from the student's parents. Professor's just being a hardass because he can, not because it's IN ANY WAY necessary to his supposed ends. Play stupid games? Win stupid prizes.
And that follows you the rest of your life! No not really. Nobody cares what grades you got, they just want to take a quick look at the piece of paper you get at the end.
Dogpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't tell them to fuck off. But they're being unreasonable at that point. Life exists outside of the classroom.
I don't think it is extremely unreasonable to ask for proof of a situation (in this case, death)when missing an exam. That is something that, while possibly very emotion-inducing, a reasonable student should be able to provide without significant detriment to their self.
It sucks, but we're adults. Sometimes we have to do sucky things.
Joolazoo ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a test, but there is almost no class where not doing a fucking quiz is going to make you drop a letter grade. I feel like you guys are the same people who assume every teacher is the biggest dildo bag on the planet. I am very good about attendance and have never had a teacher give me shit for missing a day with a good reason...
I feel like you guys are the same people who assume every teacher is the biggest dildo bag on the planet.
Well you couldn't be more incorrect; I extremely respect my professors.
If you miss a test (which is something that was previously stated, but you chose to ignore), then you're deserving of the academic repercussions (in this case, losing a letter grade). If you have a death in the family, the professor is well within their rights to ask for proof of that, since this is a commonly used statement by students who do not want to take the test.
I understand that someone might be sensitive in that situation; unfortunately, life is not always fair, and providing proof of the death is an obstacle that students in pain should be able to overcome.
FearHold ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:42:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not their job to care it's their job to teach. It's your time and money, so go ahead and do what you want with it. But don't complain about falling behind because you waived that right.
As a teacher myself, which admittedly is different from a professor, I find it very hard to teach somebody if I don't care about them. How can I effectively relay information if I don't understand the people I'm relaying it to?
I am a college prof and care a great deal about my students. I don't ask them to provide a death certificate but I do need the obit or something, but only for an assignment/test over 5%. My students are very important to me - when convocation rolls around it's like watching my kids graduate! We're not all horrible.
Oh, I definitely realize this. I'm a teacher myself (though for K-12). I can totally understand asking for an obit or something along those lines.
Dogpool ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:45:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If extraneous circumstances outweigh their draconian schedule they shouldn't be surprised if I file a complaint or go to their head of the department. I'm sure their boss would love to hear issues that it's their job to rectify.
There are other factors that played into her not coming down. She is basically low contact with my dad, and she has always been a very private person. She knew that I had been given time off work already, so she knew I'd be there for Mom and Mom would be there for me. She had her friends at school to help her.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:24:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, I guess I judged before I knew the whole situation. I just couldn't imagine ever putting school or work ahead of my family like that though. If I missed my grandmother's funeral I don't think my parents would ever forgive me, and I can't say I'd blame them.
Admittedly, for me, I would agree. I wouldn't miss it. Any blow-back I'd deal with later. However, that is also very easy for me to say since whenever I have had someone close to me pass, the people around me (be they teachers, professors or bosses) were very understanding and forgiving.
Agreed. I never had an issue with my professors, but my cousin almost missed our great-aunt's funeral (my grandmother's sister, we were very close to her when we were growing up) because her professor wanted some form of "proof" that a beloved member of our family was indeed dead. Personally, I would have told the guy to go fuck himself. Then again, I was an English major and English professors are super chill; no classes before noon and no funeral proof required.
Some scholarships require you to maintain a certain grade so it could hurt you financially for the rest of college.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I would just hope that the professor wouldn't be such a dick about you going to your own grandparent's funeral...or that there was someone higher up you could go to about it if it was going to fuck you over long term...not everyone in higher ed is a robot
My family is all farmers, education and the $700 for each class is worth more than their funeral, they've told me that.
wakawuu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh? In high school and college I never once had a quiz or test that would have been that big a deal to miss, aside from the actual final exam of course. Maybe 10% of the final grade, at most. Which yeah, would suck to miss... but you can easily make it up.
In some of her courses (and mine as well, though we majored in different things at different schools) some classes were based almost entirely on 4 tests. Miss one test and can't make it up, that's ~25% of your grade.
This was the case for me when I was studying English lit and philosophy as an undergrad. In a grad level science field now, though, it's typical for some tests to comprise up to 30% of the overall class grade.
That said, I don't see why she couldn't take the test early rather than late.
There were other circumstances that added to this; it's wasn't solely the professor's doing but he certainly added the most ridiculous wrench in the works.
In some programs it can be though. I was in a very hands on tech program and department policy is if you miss 3 labs for any course the max grade you can achieve is a 49%. When my little brother was diagnosed with cancer I missed easily 5 labs in some courses to go visit him. The first 2 labs didn't even require a second thought but when it reached the third or more time I had to work it out with my profs and have them basically make it look like on paper I finished the lab, but I was lucky to have some very supportive instructors.
It could depend on the class itself. I've had plenty of college courses that never assigned homework so your grade was based entirely on quizzes, tests, and maybe a project. If this were the case a quiz could dramatically affect the grade.
When my husband was teaching college english he used to say he was saying a little prayer just before finals for all the grandparents out there. The week before finals was "open season" on grandparents - mowed down like deer in a cow pen! He never demanded any proof when a student reported a death and therefore could not write the exam or turn in a paper, but he did start asking for home addresses so that he could write condolence notes and send them. That seemed to stem the tide a bit when word got out about his method.
That is smart. Catch the people who are lying while also being sympathetic to the people who aren't. I'm a teacher myself now so I might have to steal that idea.
I work at a funeral home, and it can take weeks just for us to get a death certificate back from the doctor. If anyone reading this is in a situation like this in the future, please call the funeral home. If you ask, they will make a call on your behalf or give you a signed, embossed paper stating the death of a close member has occurred.
ampereJR ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funeral homes can take what's an abnormal event for most families run as seamless as possible because they deal with it every day. In my area, it seems like funeral homes are the first to post any official notice of the death. I would accept a URL of a death notice on their website.
binomine ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:17:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a co-worker who had 2 dads die in two years.
When my boss confronted him, it turned out he had a shitty childhood. None of his extended family could afford to house him indefinitely, and none of them had their shit together enough to support him in one house, so they all took turns. When someone tried to keep him, they'd lose their job and it was back to being shuffled around.
So the amount of caregivers who he was close to was insane. They all treated him well and looked after him, but he ended up with multiple dads, moms and grandparents.
I actually lost 4 grandparents my freshman year of college (my parents were divorced and remarried, as were their parents so I had a LOT of g'parents). My professors believed me luckily. By funeral number 3, I was sure they wouldn't. My boss didn't, however, and fired me. I went to corporate and showed them the obits with my name in all of them and got my job back after only missing 3 shifts. I barely made my rent that month and ate nothing but pasta. Fucker.
Damn, glad to know you did get the job back. I was worried as my family has hit an unlucky streak these past couple years, first with Meme passing, then Pop a year later, then my dad getting really sick a few months after Pop passed. I've been lucky in that my boss was understanding.
It's just bizarre. Why would people make that kind of shit up? It would be easy to check.
I had reported to my old highschool that I would be gone for one day to attend my grandmother's funeral. Going to the front reception at my old high school the following day:
"Hello, uh, I was at my grandmother's funeral yesterday. Could I have a homework exception card please, since I was unable to do any homework yesterday"
Lady: "Well then you should have planned it better"
I left with a what-the-fuck-is-even face. Thankfully every single teacher was more humane than the administration and excused my lack of work.
I had 6 grandparents. My grandfather on my mothers side (who I am named after) had 3 wives. While my gradfather on my fathers side had 1 wife. And FYI I have 36 uncles and aunts on my mothers side and 4 on my fathers. I legit dont have a clue how much nephews and cpusins I have. They r spread out across the world too cuz of civil war and I met my 26 year old neice from france while Im canadian.
My grandfather whom I was very close to died recently. Missed a week of senior year in high school. Senior year is a joke. Teachers didn't care. Except one. We have a lot of issues with her that I'm in the process of taking to the superintendent, but the point is that she asked my bf where I was. He told her. I come back to class and she screams "So were you sick all this time??!??!?" Long story short I told her I have much more important things to deal with than that class.
Bonus: she's the advisor for our Gay Straight Alliance, which I am president of. She butts into discussion and spouts her harmful opinions while getting upset at us for expressing ourselves. It's a therapy group at this point and she fucks it up
An old friend of mine died this last semester. His funeral was at the same day I had a test. At least the professor understood that I was distraught and couldn't remember the exact form of the Biot-Savart law.
If it's any consolation, I have no idea what the Biot-Savart law is at all (aside from a cursory Google search telling me to has to do with magnetism.)
That's why you go to the dean of that department. I did the same when a dick professor wanted a death certificate. I scheduled a meeting with the dean. Showed him the obit and promised to bring back the program from the funeral mass and I was excused from class for 3 days. I just had to make up the work I missed during that time and schedule with the professor times to meet if I missed a quiz or a presentation.
I had a similar thing with a professor wanting like the full memorial service invitation and details, and emails from other people attending. And I wasn't even asking to miss a day of class, I was only asking if I could turn in a paper a day later.
I had a friend in college who wrote a story about spending the summer with her sick grandmother in Florida for an English class. She wasn't asking for a day off and she wasn't trying to get a higher grade by appealing to sympathy. The project was "write about something you did this summer" and that was basically all she did.
Her teacher called her into a meeting a week later, and grilled her about cheating, informing her that she was getting really tired of "dead grandma stories". It's worth noting that, at the end of the story, her grandmother was not only alive but her health was improving. She went back to her dorm in tears.
Some instructors go way too over the top with this sort of thing.
Wait, what? Who cares if the story was a lie anyways? It's just an essay, and not one that sounds like it needed to be cited. That person sounds like a bitch.
I'm pretty sure that this instructor was let go the next year because of repeated incidents like this. My friend had an insane mother who told her not to say anything because it would somehow make it look like she really was cheating, but all of those other people turning in "obviously fake" dead grandmother stories probably didn't.
Both my grandfathers died during subsequent fall semesters of college right around midterm time. It sucked because I felt like all my professors thought I was lying, but nope, just really REALLY bad timing (especially the second time when I had some of the same professors).
I remember in 3rd grade when my grandpa passed away my teacher brought me to the principles office because she thought i was lying to get out of doing work... Will never forget that walk to the office as she was pulling my arm like i had done something wrong; i was so confused...
Why would an 8 year old lie about that? What a bitch.
rezachi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I feel asking for funeral leave at work. My boss is awesome about it, but my wife's family extends pretty far due to divorces and remarriages and many were born within a few years of each other. She has lots of relatives in their 70s and 80s.
Wow, it must suck for that one person who had all 4 of his biological grandparents and his step-grandfather die all in the same semester. Poor guy, no teacher ever believed him.
My father's death certificate took nearly four months to be issued. That's a ridiculous request.
Azertys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've read a FML a while ago, a poor girl who had to explain to her work that because she is from a reconstituted familly, her third grandmother died that year.
Wouldn't a photo of her at the funeral be proof enough? Why would you skip a test just to fake a death and crash a random funeral? That's... just obtuse logic imo
The death certificate thing might have been the school rule, not the professor's. I worked at one school that required us to turn in a copy to them in order to excuse absences because students were able to get maximum amounts of financial aid (and we had to track attendance and turn it in to prove they were attending as a result).
My company offered me a day of bereavement pay when a grandfather died last year. Then, afterwards, said I don't qualify because we don't have the same last name. Out of my six grandparents, not a single one of them have the same last name as me. The man who died last year is the man who raised my father after my dad's bio father diet, and he was who I've called "grandpa" since I was born. Dad's mom remarried, so she and her husband have a different last name from us. Then my mother's parents, and her husband's parents.
I feel like in contemporary times, saying you pay bereavement pay for the loss of a grandparent, then putting that it's only if they have the same last name as you is a total gimmick.
That policy makes no sense on so many levels. What if this was your mother's parents? Most women still take their husband's name when they get hitched, so your name wouldn't match them. That is an outlandishly stupid policy.
I have to hand it to the college profs I had who allowed me to take finals early and turn in a paper late due to the death of two of my grandparents two days apart. No one questioned me, I just told them and they let me get shit done so I could get on a plane.
I call bullshit on that prof. In my experience with this, you can't/don't get a death certificate that quickly, there would be no way to have it in time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my junior year of high school I had to take a couple days off to travel for my great-grandmother's funeral. One of those days was my AS Maths exam. I thought nothing of it, applying for a derived grade under compassionate consideration. They rejected me on the grounds that I hadn't sat 50% of the grade (it was the second of two exams, and unbeknownst to me they were weighted 45/55). I finished the year with no maths qualification, forcing me to take a stats class I didn't want, and missed out on university entrance via the Cambridge exams. I was mighty pissed.
I worked with a girl who did this. She talked so much that everyone knew she lived with her grandma, who died twice in two weeks. Then her other grandma died. A couple weeks later, yet a different grandma died.
When my boss called her out a week later, after she called in because she had to take her grandma to the ER she tried to convince my boss that both her biological grandmothers were lesbians.
Both the employee and my boss were lesbians, and this was in rural Alabama. The enployee than tried to claim she was being discriminated against after my boss asked for a death certificate and thretened to sue. Then never showed up again
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She could have, but I think asking people to make a copy of it just for the sake of getting out of a quiz or whatever seemed low to her. I never saw the death certificate, myself, and I honestly don't even know who would have had them or if there were any copies remaining to copy.
There are other things that went down that kind of steered her to the idea that she should stay away. She's always been a private person when it comes to grieving, so I think she didn't see the point in jumping through all those hoops when she knew that funerals aren't for her.
eHaydex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the point. Some people lie so much they don't keep track of how many lies they've said so I have heard stories of kids having more than 4 grandparents dying. I mean, it's technically possible if your grandparents divorced and remarried, but certainly not common.
50-64% of men remarried within five years and 45-60% of women remarried within five years between 1950 and 1990, with that number being on the rise at the end of that period.
Chances are fairly high that someone ends up with 5+ grandparents.
My dad's parents divorced and his dad remarried and divorced again, but his mom never remarried. My mom's parents were happily married for almost 50 years until cancer finally got Nana last September.
My fiancรฉe had one set of grandparents stay married their whole lives and after her grandpa passed her grandma was single for 10 years before she passed. Her other set of grandparents divorced and her grandpa on that side is now with another woman.
My best friend from high school has 2 parents, 2 step-parents, 5 grandparents, and 4 step-grandparents. Granted, that isn't how life works out for everyone but it's more common to have more grandparents than your comment suggests.
Divorce rate is actually about 40% and has been decreasing in recent years, and that number doesn't take into account various factors. A lot of grandparents today were married from 1940s through the 1960s when people were far less likely to get a divorce. Yes, obviously people can get divorced once their children are grown, but statistically, people are less likely to get a divorce as they get older with 20-somethings making up the most likely age cohort to get a divorce.
As we see more Baby Boomers and Gen-Xers (people who are likely to get married sometime during the 1970s-1990s) become grandparents, we are going to see more people who 5+ grandparents, yes. However, for people like me whose grandparents are members of the Silent Generation, divorce is not common for that group. (Remarriage may be more common because some do remarry after the death of their first spouse.)
That's when you go to the department chair and file a complaint against that professor. If the student is in good academic standing it will be a non issue.
My friend called in to work once because his aunt had passed and he wanted to attend the wake. Boss said sure no problem but need some sort of proof. So at the wake my friend sends his boss a picture of the casket. Boss then says that doesn't count because he wasn't in the picture. Friend immediately quit and found a better job.
Admittedly, why couldn't he just get the funeral home to write a note saying so-and-so passed or bring in an obit or something? A photo is a really weird form of proof for a wake/funeral.
On the other side of that coin, I had a friend forge a funeral pamphlet to get around missing a psychology final. He wasn't a great student and attended the class so little that he actually missed the day of their mid-term exam. When he found out later that he had missed he used the fake pamphlet to set up a re-take. The worst part was he used one of his actual close friend's picture and information as the 'deceased'. We told him it was bad karma, but it worked out.
That's low. I have never lied about someone dying or being seriously hurt to get out of something. I have made up excuses, sure, but always ones where I was sick.
FUZxxl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can you have five grandparents die? I thought you could only have up to four grandparents?
Biologically, yes, but if people divorce and remarry then you can have more grandparents than 4. My boyfriend has 6 grandparents because his mother's parents divorced and her dad remarried twice. Really you could argue he has 8 because his mother also remarried and his step-dad's parents could be considered "his grandparents." He isn't close to them whatsoever, so he doesn't count them.
t014y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the patent calling in should be good enough. If the patent is in on it there's not much the teacher can do anyway.
RyadNero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will never understand:
How a teacher could react this way
How a student can just accept it and roll along with it
FUCK THAT. If a teacher rejected an obituary from me as proof one of my relatives had died I would skip the class, go to the funeral, and immediately go to his supervisor/principle. If they also turned me away I would go to the school board and/or the parent teachers association (PTA). Some people in this world are shitty and won't believe you, but it's your fault if you think the buck stops with them. No way. Go above the teachers head on that.
I think it's a little different in high school versus college. In college, I can understand asking for some proof like an obit or a pamphlet from the funeral or something. (Death certificate is ridiculous though.)
In high school, it's not really questioned when a kid says someone passed. Probably because it's a lot easier to check for the truth because all it takes is a call home to "prove it." As a high school teacher, I haven't had to deal with a kid lying about someone passing yet, or at least to the point where there are so many people dying in your life, that I'm getting suspicious. If a kid tells me someone passed, I just take it as that and give them time to make-up work.
That would have pissed me off. I would have taken a selfie with the body with a sign that said "is this enough proof?"
Estridde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had both my grandpas and my step grandfather all die within months of each other. I was finishing undergrad at the time and not a single professor cut me any slack. I was writing papers at the funerals. Now I am a professor and I still think what the professors did was a dick move. I had a 3.9 GPA and never missed class in all the years I had known them.
I'm very sorry to hear that happened to you. I couldn't imagine being so cut-and-dry with someone claiming to have just lost someone, especially when you have absolutely no proof that they are lying.
I'd just go to the fucking funeral and if the teacher wanted to be an asshole about it, or if missing that ONE day of class somehow completely ruined my grade b/c the cunt wouldn't take an obituary as proof, I'd just take it to the dean.
xUsuSx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exceptionally dumb.
Why not just call the parents to make sure they knew their kid wanted to miss class.
An obit proves someone is dead, it doesn't prove that the person is related to your student. They could pick out some rando that says "Mrs. so and so is survived by her children x, and grandkids where the student happens to share a first name with one of the grandkids.
But a death certificate doesn't prove a relationship with a grandchild either. It would only show the spouse and the informant, if that's different from spouse.
What if a parent got divorced and remarried? You can have 8 easy.
jkimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor ask for proof to makeup a test when my grandmother had died, so I just gave him her death certificate. Worked out pretty well but it did seem a little odd.
Your sister should have taken a selfie with grandma and sent it to the professor. Or made a sign that said "Fuck You Professor (name)" and put it in Grandma's hand for a photo.
No, no, no, no, no, that was a joke, she should not have done that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:15:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 grandparents?
Dd_8630 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:30:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, my sister and I only had 4 grandparents. They never divorced and neither did our parents. However, I have heard stories from professors about students not keeping track of their lies and ending up with supposedly 5 dead grandparents that conveniently died on test days.
On the one hand, you've got a point. I've seen people use some pretty incredible lies to try and save their asses.
That said, when I was a TA in grad school, I always ended up giving kids the benefit of the doubt.
Part of it was that I'd had an insane number of health issues my senior year of college. To this day I don't know how I managed to get through all of that and graduate on time. By the middle of that year I'd dropped 20 lbs and felt like I'd aged about 80 years. So when a freshman pre-med student came to me, almost in tears, saying that she had a lot going on outside of school and needed an extension on her lab report, I told her not to worry about it and to take her time.
Also, dead grandparents always got a free pass. I wasn't about to punish the honest students that were in pain just to spite the liars that couldn't get their shit together in time. Their laziness will eventually come back to bite them anyway.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:59:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my highschool years I told I teacher I wasn't going to be able to show up to the test because I pissed off the wrong people and was scheduled to be shot that day.
Test day comes, I don't show up, no I didn't get shot, however I went home for lunch then to the gas station (next period was physics, the class I had I test in) andddddd the gas station got robbed and I along with 6 others were involved in a hostage situation. Needless to say she didn't believe me until she saw the news.
Well, the teacher maybe could have handled it better. If a student has a traumatic experience like that, why not call up the parents and offer your condolences and ask if there is anything they can do to help the student cope. That will tell them fairly quickly if the student was lying. Unless the parents were in on it that is.
I agree. The teacher sounds like a bit of a shithead.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:31:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One day in high school some random teacher was pleased to see that I was "back from the dead." I was so confused. Apparently my brother had told his maths teacher that I died. I did not die.
I thought you meant that the brother who died was the student and the teacher asked for proof that he was actually dead and not just skipping... So in comparison, the truth doesn't really sound all that bad
I had a friend ask me to break his arm so that he doesn't have to go to test after 3 days of adderall induced crazy studying. I said i wouldn't do it and took off to the test. After the test (which he didn't attend) I learn he jumped from a 2 meters high fence head first. He broke his arm, gave himself a concussion, multiple bruises. Everyone knew he was the kind of person to do crazy shot to avoid responsibility, but there was no proof he did it on purpose. He got an extension. And a bill for medical services - something like 8 thousand bucks, which he didn't have.
And he failed the test even after being allowed to take his finals after he his medical issues were taken care of.
He was in college over winter break. His brother passed during winter break. I don't remember the details of why he wanted an extension or to be excused, but that's what I meant.
irotsoma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heck even as an adult, jobs asked me to bring in proof that my relative died and that I was at a funeral. I don't think it's at all unreasonable to ask a kid to prove it.
Classic Steve, always a stickler with stuff like that.
sorator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMO asking for proof is fine, so long as you allow some time to get the proof. Like, it may be that I can't get you the obituary/death certificate/whatever until after the funeral, but if I know it's coming, let me miss and make up whatever I'm missing once I do show up with proof.
My grandma passed away and I went to class anyways to participate in a group presentation.
I started crying at the beginning of class and my teacher said I could go see the Chaplain, all sympathetic.
Then she told me when I returned that I would have to redo the entire project, except by myself, and I couldn't use any of my groups information because that would be plagiarizing, even the stuff I could prove I contributed to the original project.
So the Chaplain had a word with her. And as a compromise I was able to present it privately just to her and I could do basically anything and get a bottom grade of a B-.
Still total bullshit.
pyr666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the tactful way to do this is to call the parents to offer your condolences
It's like the family has never seen Ferris Bueler's Day Off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a classmate lie and say his aunt died and couldn't do some report.
A week later that aunt actually died and he had to miss a test because of it.
RockLoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After a death in my family and a late submission that was capped I had to submit evidence to uncap it and I thought that was perfectly reasonable.
It sucks that dishonesty of some people make it necessary but that's not the fault of the assessors.
Rephaite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still think framing it as asking for proof is a bit of a dick move if someone has allegedly died.
Calling the parents to offer condolences would be a neighborly thing to do if someone had died, but would bring to light any trickery had there been any by the student.
Rabuiods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awful. As a college instructor, I never require any proof for funerals, because as my mentor said "if they are making up the death of a friend or family member, they have more to worry about than missing a class."
Icsto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Prove to me your brother died of a heroin overdose" is pretty ridiculous dude. Just let it go and if you find out later he's lying deal with it then.
I once got an in-school suspension for some random bs, for that next day, the Friday I was going to Manhattan to visit relatives w/ my folks. My VP would only allow me to postpone said ISC for Monday if I went to the Carnegie Deli and and brought him back a napkin with the circumference of a pastrami on rye drawn on. Grease stains were obliviously necessary.
My favorite story from high school was that I was in a math class second semester of senior year (read: accepted into college and basically just needed to not fail). This teacher was notorious for only having surprise quizzes, no announced tests except the final. Ostensibly, the reason for this was to encourage studying the material consistently rather than cramming for a test and forgetting everything the day after. Hilariously (from my perspective anyway) I ended up missing 5 days of class and each of those days was a surprise quiz. I couldn't be penalized for missing them because they were excused absences, but I also couldn't just take them another day, because without the factor of surprise it wouldn't be fair to the other students. Finally, I ended up being in class for one quiz, so my entire grade was the one quiz and the final.
The best part is that afterwards the teacher sent me an email asking how I knew which days to skip, as though I was doing it on purpose. She also noted that the last quiz she had prepared well ahead of time and gave it only when she saw I was in class that day.
That's extremely weird, even in a large school staff members are usually made aware when a student suffers from the loss of an immediate family member. My dad died when I was in grade ten, and I'm pretty sure I was part of a staff meeting that day.
I get wanting proof, but it needs to be reasonable proof. We lost my oldest daughter and my grandpa within four months of each other. My sister decided to take a leave of bereavement at school. She had the prayer card from my daughter's mass and my grandpa's obituary. We didn't have an obituary for my daughter because everyone whonwould want to know already knew. The teacher knew, but not the person who handles the administration part of the leave. She wanted my daughter's death certificate. My sister called and I flipped out. I was in a very bad place and I was pissed that even with proof they wanted more proof. I told her I wouls take mt daughter's ashes to the school as proof, but they were not getting her death certificate (lots of people use them to commit fraud) and of I had to come down I was making a scene. The teacher stepped in and handled it.
It wasn't the need for proof that upset me. It was the fact they had proof, but they wanted something they were in bo way entitled to have.
Well, I had a friend kill himself 2 weeks into college and my professor asked me for proof. I literally told him to fuck off.
Its not his job to be a detective. Especially on sensitive things like that.
Kanotari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow teachers, here's how I've handled this before. Call to offer your condolences. Or call to discuss grades/behavior/whatever excuse you need, and then slide the condolences in. If it's real, you don't sound like an ass. It it's fake, there's outrage directed at the student.
I had this friend in college who was a social work major and had classes with this girl who had gotten engaged very publically two years prior on our campus. Her boyfriend was her highschool sweetheart, went to college together, at this point they had been together for like 6 years. I had psych classes with him and he was a smarmy fuck. Well, he decides that the best time to dump her was 20 minutes before her last final of the year because his feelings about the situation was distracting him during his finals. It was super out if the blue- they were literally planning on getting married in 2 months.
She actually came to her final presentation absolutely sobbing. The teacher literally just ended up grading everybody on their Powerpoint content and cancelled the class for everyone to provide support for her
Simple solution: Wait until the kid comes back to school. Request proof then, when it isn't as sensitive. If unable to provide proof, don't give them the test they missed, mark it as failed.
I had a 3.8 GPA in a math class and had never missed a day. (I was on the Dean's List several times and graduated with 2 majors and a minor at almost a cumulative 4.0 GPA. In other words I was a good student and really enjoyed school. )
I missed 1 test because my dog died in my arms from a heart attack due to heart murmurs the night before. I came in later that day because the test was weighing on my conscious. My eyes were practically swollen shut because I hadn't slept and had been crying so hard. My face was still red and I burst into tears at the drop off a hat, and while talking to my professor when asking if I could still take it or do extra credit to make up for it. I wasn't even trying to get out of the test!
He told me I should have shown up and that I was just lying to get out of the test. He said several cruel things but by then I was crying again so hard that I don't even remember. Full on hiccuping sobs.
This dog wasn't just a dog to me. She got me through the terrible times of abuse. She was the thing that kept the clouds away. I bent my life around making her happy for 14 years. After I lost her, I just never felt the same. And I still cry at the drop off a hat when I think about her. She died February 12, 2000 11 pm. I'll never forget. No matter how many dogs I've had, none have ever been like her.
I remember in high school tennis there was a girl who told our coach that she couldn't make a game because her grandmother passed away. The coach was actually a sweet lady, and she called the girl's home and left a message expressing her condolences. Of course, the girl's mom called the coach back and said that nobody had died and she had no clue what she was talking about. Let's just say this girl did not come to any more games and did not try out for the team the next year.
It would be completely easy for the teacher to reschedule the test or find an alternative assignment though. I've had teachers do that once or twice - plus if it's too crushing most schools will give you the semester off with a full refund. I mean, it goes both ways - if you just need a week to recuperate, the prof should just reschedule - if you're asking to actually be excused from work, you're going to need proof.
The teacher was fully willing to be accommodating, that was not the issue. The issue was that the teacher wanted to see some type of evidence that he was telling the truth. Provided proof, whether he wanted it scratched from the transcript, fully excused, rescheduled, all would have been fine IIRC.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 14:13:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rainzer ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:31:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He could have checked the obits himself
Except obituaries require the family to have submitted a death notice to the newspaper. What if they don't? Plenty of people die all the time without showing up in the obits
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:28:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Umm, I'm a grown adult working at a job and they still wanted me to bring in the handout from my grandmother's funeral as verification even though other people from my job also attended the funeral. It was absolutely reasonable for a teacher to ask for the same and more than likely it is probably a school policy that he was enforcing, no some anti-dead family member vendetta.
For those few cases where somebody falsely claims their brother OD'd, there will be many more true ones.
Maybe, but I'm sure that there are a huge number of false sob stories of serious matters that teachers deal with. People are pretty shitty, and I wouldn't put it past someone to use something like that. If a quick email can make sure it's not some trick, that's pretty reasonable.
Oh, my gosh! They were offended! Whooptie-fuck you-do!
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:24:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not offending people used to be called common courtesy... now apparently it's some kind of political football?
Nah, I'll stick to my old-fashioned way of trying not to offend people without a very good reason.
rainzer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:33:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You stop giving a shit about that possibility when you work a job where kids tell you their 9th grandma died to avoid an assignment
wensul ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:07:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People choose to be offended.
litux ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not offending people used to be called common courtesy...
Physically attacking people is frowned upon. Good people don't do it. So there are people who abuse your unwillingness to fight back. They get what they want by being violent and/or threatening. Muggers. Bullies. Aggressive beggars.
Being mean to people is frowned upon. Good people don't do it. So there are people who abuse your unwillingness to be mean, or to seem rude, or offensive.
I can support this. I'd be pretty annoyed if my employer asked for proof prior to bereavement leave.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:14:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's brutal. First of all, it's all a family can do to keep functioning after a child dies. After my son died I was in such a fog that I was vaguely aware of the totally irrational and unreasonable expectations that people in society around me placed on me and my family, but looking back now, several years later, the heaviness of those expectations is really obvious to me, and I find it completely infuriating.
It's one thing if a kid is talking about a grandparent or aunt or uncle or something, but a sibling!? That's pretty easy for the teacher to verify independently without adding to the family's grief by questioning the validity and demanding proof. That is so unbelievably inappropriate, and I'm actually shocked that so many people here think that it's a reasonable thing to ask the family to provide. I would have flipped my shit too, and I actually think that the teacher should have been pulled aside and had a stern talking to about what is and is not appropriate when dealing with deaths like that, and perhaps a little education on how to independently verify it. Not fired, but definitely educated.
Umm if you are in college, you are paying for the classes, you should be able to come and go as you please, and of course you are responsible for work due, but life is too complicated to have to be at every class every day, every week.
My Uni teacher, who had just won teacher of the year, said, never let us teachers forget that here, WE WORK FOR YOU. I loved that sentiment and my mom and wife are public school teachers, so I clearly understand the importance of respect and attendance there, but with college students is ridiculous at times.
My brothers were born in France, I was born in and went to college in the US, sorry we use both words interchangeably in our house. Sorry for the mixup ;)
mvjestiq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:18:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still giggling at the use of "lick of work" in this context.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.
h-l-aych ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:24:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up vote for MG reference
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm taking master's classes right now and my professor decided she wanted to do a video conference. No less than six times she told us that even if we are on our death bed we HAVE to attend via video. My son just happened to break his hand about an hour before the conference. I apologized to the nursing staff and joined in the class from the emergency room but put the microphone on mute and put in ear plugs in one ear so I could listen to it without interrupting the nurses. When the teacher came on she was doing roll call and when she got to me I explained that I was listening but I wouldn't be able to respond very much because I was in the emergency room with my son. She insisted I turn the camera to see and the doctor and nurses waved. She then said that she admired my dedication but there was a limit and i could email for the notes later.
Like I really wanted to attend a video conference while I'm in the ER and you can guarantee that if I refused to show her the room or had tried to call ahead she would not have let me out of it. It was only because the whole class was gasping that she even let me go.
" . . . I want to come out to my parents that night".
She also hadn't done a lick
I see what you did there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get the same thing in theatre, first night flu.
It isn't actually a conscious thing most of the time, people really do get ill in various ways including major things like breaking bones or having a sudden life crisis as well as the more common virus/fever/lost voice, but it's definitely psychosomatic because it's predictable.
The funny thing is so many people believe it's a unique thing to them or their production but when you've done a few productions you should know it's standard human behaviour and plan for it.
pedone1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably lied or just used it
mtayvaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She should have waited until she gave her parents her grades. Probably would have distracted them a little.
I had a gay friend in college who would do this, if she was on the borderline of failing, for the final paper, she'd squeeze in a paragraph about how the class made her feel more comfortable with herself.
I'm not conservative, though I am kind of a cynic. Been to college, and I live by a Campus and know the atmosphere. When you live in an atmosphere that usually bends over backwards to create safe spaces and wants to dedicate themselves to providing ample support towards the LGBT...what I'm saying is...you had a student who knew they were failing and wanted to play the "Is my Professor cool/liberal/weak enough to give me a pass without me doing any work once he or she discovers I'm doing this brave courageous thing to do as a GAY PERSON in this modern hate filled society?" game.
kuflon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you have excused her if she'd come the next day totally broken and told you the same story? (without hearing it before of course)
I had a friend in college whose favorite excuse for getting out of assignments was "my sister came out as gay and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it." FWIW, I went to one of the gayest and most liberal schools in the country.
One of my students was on the verge of failing my class and not graduating. I told her to bring her assignment to the next class, our last one before it was due, and I would help her make sure it passed. Instead she booked her driving test for the afternoon my class was on and missed my lesson so she could practice driving for her test. When I asked why she couldn't do it later she had no reason at all, she just cried and said she really wanted to do it then. She failed that assignment, failed my class and as fas as I know failed school just because she couldn't wait 1 more day to get her license.
I knew a gay who was too guy top function. His coming out was much less dramatic than he'd have liked. His parents said "no shit. you'd better be gay, you've been painting your eyebrows on for a month. Now flutter over to the trash you faerie and take it out like we told you yesterday." +
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:14:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why you say "too gay to function" when you said yourself it was because she hadn't done anything that she didn't go. But hey, being offensive is funny I guess...
I remember when I first saw that article on Facebook, I made a comment where I tagged my sister and made a very inside joke about my mom probably believing this. Well my mom did actually believe that and read the article and as she was going through the comments, some how stumbled upon my comment and lost her shit, called me crying at how hurt she was for making fun of her. Thankfully, after a week or so, I was able to convince her that the earth is in fact NOT FLAT! SMH!
I'm a casual lecturer and have a young family so only work the hours I'm paid.
Quite often I'll get a student not show for the entire semester then in the last week appear and ask why I can't teach them out of hours.
There have been tears and complaints when I've basically said that if they'd shown up to class they'd know what they were doing and I have better things to do with my life than support lazy students.
Idk about that. I mean if students attending is important for the quality of the class (group based stuff / student participation etc.) then sure. But IMO lectures should basically always be optional in college, grades should be based on tests and maybe homework but not just on showing up, if you can learn the material your own way or just know it already you shouldn't be punished. I know I have often not gone to class because I find lectures harder to learn from them textbooks and online material most of the time, or just because I know most of the material already.
This. Often I find myself sitting in class ignoring the teacher because I understand everything from the slides they posted the night before
dewymeg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:56:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My father had a college class where you could either attend the class and take quizzes or turn in so many papers on assigned topics (I think it was a paper every two weeks). He chose the papers. I would've, too.
gino188 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:27:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here is the thing tho, the dude is talking about ppl that never show up and never bother to learn the shit on their own time..then a week before exams they expect the prof/teacher to help them with EVERYTHING. hell no. if you were going to do that then ask the teacher questions once in a while out of class...but to pile it all on at the end? then u deserve what you get.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:50:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a tutor and not really a question, but was trying to explain to one girl doing her GCSEs how the start of the word for the alkanes shows how many carbon atoms there are (e.g. like octane has 8 and decane as 10 etc.). Asked her how many pentane had. She didn't know. Asked her how many sides a pentagon has. She didn't know. Proceeded to blow her mind by drawing a pentagon. Turns out she had never come across the concept of a five sided shape before.
Not a teacher but in 8th grade sex-ed class, we had a box where students could submit questions anonymously. One day, the teacher read aloud one of the questions which asked, "My dad's penis is circumcised but mine is not. Does this mean he isn't my dad?"
Bless his heart. Those anonymous question boxes are so useful. Someone in my sex ed class wanted to know "where the bone comes from." I'm so glad people had a way to get answers to this stuff pre-internet. Or post-internet, but especially pre-internet.
Totally a fair question, and I'm glad they got an answer.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:33:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend in grade school thought the same thing. One day we were talking about falling on an erection and he said yeah breaking that bone would hurt I said "you mean hip bone?" he said "no your dick bone" the following conversation led me to make fun of him for years. We were only 12 but he still believes in ghosts to this day so he isnt the most educated person I know.
khaeen ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 17:37:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be aware, you can actually break your dick if you bend it too far while hard. You aren't breaking a bone, but you are rupturing the blood vessel in your dick. Google at your own risk.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only do one thing in bed that could result in that. Plus my brass balls protect by taking the brunt of the trauma
swag01 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:16:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think ghosts are real, and I think many people don't think they're real because they've never seen one (I've never seen one either).
Serious question, why do you think they are real even though you've never seen one?
swag01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:28:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read nonfiction books about them when I was a little kid. And in one of them, I read that ghosts are supposed to leave Earth and go to the afterlife. But some are either unable or unwilling to go, so they stay on Earth. I've heard that right after people die in a hospital, you may see their ghost for a very brief moment. I've also heard stories told by people on TV about their ghost sightings that sound realistic to me, and a road that's practically a death trap where you may encounter a ghost on that road. All this has led me to believe that ghosts are definitely real, but you just rarely see them.
swag01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unicorns and Dragons and pure myth, I doubt there's any proof or science behind fairies, and I know the truth behind santa claus and why he's not real...
But there's exactly as much proof behind ghosts as any of those. There may be fewer people who believe in those than believe in ghosts, but there are people who do, even in countries like the USA. Many children believe in Santa Claus, and so do some adults. What makes those sort of beliefs incredible to you?
Honestly it is fun to suspend disbelief and entertain the idea of a lot of things that can't actually be proved. I suppose I'm as agnostic about ghosts or aliens as I am about a deity, or deities.
ah yes, and bull penis canes, and bull scrotum.. hanging scrotum sacks? Not sure the purpose of that one. Also you can walk into just about any pet store and buy bully sticks. Guess what those are.
My mom bought me a ulu (curved cutting knife) from her trip in Alaska, she knew I'd love it because it's supposedly made from a fossilized walrus penis bone. I have a very immature sense of humor.
Latromi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:11 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to necro, but I had to share anyways.
About two or three years ago I was at a museum with my mother. Some guy had donated his own bones and the bones of his dog to be on display together.
My mother (in her early 60s now) pointed at the dogs penis bone and asked what it was.
"Well you know they call an erection a boner? That's partly why."
She was super embarrassed. She asked me why I knew this. I literally only looked at books about animals all through elementary school. Some had bone diagrams.
So I guess you'd be surprised how few people know that.
I was in school pre-internet and we didn't have an anonymous question box. I was just very ignorant until my first boyfriend. Thankfully he wasn't a total jerk about that kind of thing. He was a total jerk about many other things, but not that.
KayBee10 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:20:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Plus I grew up in the ultra conservative south where penis is a swear word. I'm ashamed to say I didn't know what circumcision was until my second year in college ๐
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:31:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an uncircumcised male and wondered why my penis didn't look like my "cousins" (very close family friends). I don't think I figured it out until I was in college IIRC. That question popped up when I was 6.
KayBee10 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really comforting to know I'm not alone on this
I have a friend who isn't circumcised and it wasn't until his first girlfriend have him a blowjob that he found out why his dick looked different, he said she looked up from her knees after he warned her it looked weird and she said " you idiot you aren't circumcised that's why it looks like this"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in the ultra conservative south where penis is a swear word
This. I thought "weener" and "pee pee" were the actual terms for it until like 2nd grade.
datchilla ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 16:47:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really surprising how little people know about sex when they've had a very protective background. One of my friends didn't know that masturbation was something women could do until it came up in a conversation with her roommate in college. Not because she hadn't done it, but because for whatever reason, she thought that masturbation had to involve a penis.
Yep. If you had ultra-conservative parents in pre-internet times, sex stuff was left up to the imagination and whatever equally ridiculous bullshit your friends told you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And your dad's secret playboy stash that you found one time...
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I rotate in a class about Sex and Relationships, I have a drop box that I put up before class. In college. Some of these questions make me wonder about the state of our porn and sex education.
That's actually a good question and a good educational moment. Vast majority of mammals have a penis bone called a baculum. Humans don't. So to get erect, the corpus spongiosa (or corpi spongiosum?) have to become engorged with blood to make it stiff, like in a water bed. So the term comes from the idea that an erect penis is "hard as bones."
Late to the party but it's slightly amusing anyway, maybe one person will see it. When I was in middle school I asked, via the question box, how two people with vulvas would have protected oral sex to prevent herpes. Our otherwise awesome science teacher advised cutting open a condom and spreading it out over the vulva. The next day he amended his advice, presumably having done some research, and informed us of the alternate use of dental dams.
Another day, we had to do this whole involved activity comparing whether it was better to be a girl or a boy that I suspected was prompted by my putting "being a girl sux" in the box. Everyone was required to write something for the question box so we couldn't circumvent the anonymity by watching who put something in. I was just complaining about having cramps.
Also, the teacher's daughter was in my class. All in all, middle school sex ed was an odd experience.
Likewise. I cannot fathom the logistics needed to do this... Feels so impractical. Especially since I have seen almost all of my (same-sex) friends and coworkers naked as well...
How do you live with a family member for eighteen years without even once seeing them naked even on accident? Did you never go to a sauna or a public swimming pool?
I have never seen a family member naked either (outside of my infancy, understandably). Never been to a sauna, and I live near a pond that I can swim in should the urge strike me.
Did go to a YMCA pool with the Scouts a few times. Saw some grizzled gentleman genitals on that occasion.
bubongo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:23:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those old man dongs have seen some pussy you can't even imagine.
Oh I sure have. Was enrolled in a summer program in my youth and there was alllmost always an elderly gentleman naked in the men's changing room. It's like they'd walk around naked as long as possible (brush teeth, comb hair, just sift through their bags) before dressing and heading out. Being young boys we just giggled.
Speedy97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen anyone shower before going into the pool? That doesn't make sense
Maybe this is weird to people but I remember around age 5 my dad taking me and my 3 year old brother to shower with him, which he later told us he did it because our mom made him give us baths after the 3 of us would go to the pool. Never felt weird or thought of it as weird though.
You're lucky...the day I saw mine, he was coming out of the shower and his shrinkage...actually makes it go inside itself. It's like seeing one of those balloon animal balloons being sucked INWARD. So for years I thought this was one day going to happen to me. It will freak me out if it ever does.
Some one should gift you "shower with your dad simulator"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was like a childhood right of passage to see your dad's dick. My dad was notorious for not only not locking his bathroom door, but also just not even closing it. So naturally there were a few times in my life where my mom asked me to go ask my dad something, I'd go into their room, go into the bathroom, and *BAM*, naked dad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if you don't know what circumcision is, it seems pretty sensible that it might be hereditary. Like attached, or unattached, earlobes, except it's penises without a foreskin (the circumcized variant penis), and with a foreskin (the uncircumcised variant).
CopyGFX ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:00:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did something similar to this.
The teacher pulled out the first paper and it said
"Do you like Pineapples?"
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't really seem like a stupid question to ask in middle school sex-ed, especially anonymously. I'd rather the kids check what's hereditary than just assume.
What's mind boggling is how culturally ingrained it is in some places that you can find people who don't know what an external body part every boy is born with is. That's weird.
I just think it's so sad to think of this poor boy probably carrying that kind of doubt of if his dad was his biological dad!
szerg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:48:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 13 (way back in the 90s) there were a special sex-ed class in school, and all students had to attend. They had a box for this kind of question, and the teacher read them aloud and answered all of them.
There was a question like "can we get pregnant if we only have anal sex?" and the teacher laughed. Then this girl (who we think made the question) told the teacher "DUDE, DON'T LAUGH, WE SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW!" and the teacher took all the questions seriously after that.
It was akward, but awesome!
Edit: a word
lfantine ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it makes more sense than the fact that we cut baby penises.
pysssky ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:11:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 8th grade sex-ed class, someone jokingly asked if you could have sex while playing Clash of Clans
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:55:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend asked "what happens when you burn a library book," and some other chick thought there was a bone in your dick (ie boner) and asked what happens when you break it
Nope. I'm unfortunately at work, so I cannot look for links, but cases get posted to Reddit from time to time. It's not a rupture. Since the tissue is solid at the time, it breaks in a way akin to a bone and the break will still be in the tissue when flaccid. I believe the term is Penile fracture if for some strange reason you wanted the details.
Year 6 sex ed class had an anonymous questions box. One question asked "Do gay men have high pitched voices because their sperm mixes with another man's sperm?"
Threw the question over my shoulder and moved on to the next!
Not that dumb of a question. It's a hell of a lot more reasonable to believe some people are just born with freckles rather than to believe some people are held down and forcibly tattooed with a bunch of little dots as a baby.
Kid was just giving his society the benefit of the doubt here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the 4th grade a classmate of mine submitted the question "What's the circumference of a cunt?" into one of those. I wish I was joking about this.
I don't think it's dumb to not be aware of a cultural tradition like that. It's not like a piercing or other body modification where you can clearly see that it is artificial.
I imagine the whole thing seems quite odd to people who are not part of cultures who routinely practice it.
Michamus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's penis is circumcised but mine is not. Does this mean he isn't my dad?"
The correct answer is "No, he's still your dad and ended the cycle of genital mutilation with you. You see, circumcision is the needless practice of removing the foreskin from a child's penis. Your father had this done to him and chose not to do it to you, likely against a massive amount of family pressure. You should thank him for not lopping off part of your penis, simply because he couldn't stand up to his family."
He must have thought it was like attached/detached earlobes. If you don't know that circumcision is a medical procedure it's not illogical to come to that conclusion.
schmo006 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy asked the question, "is it OK after getting a bj to ask a girl to brush her teeth before kissing her again?"
The question wasn't read or answered.
cyncount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a question in the box about queefing, I still don't know how the teacher handled it with such grace (and with a straight face). The class of 10 year olds found it hilarious!
Kumanshu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husbands decision to circumcise our unborn son is so that they'll have the same bits...
It's a pretty intense procedure. I imagined it would just be snipping the top, but they do a lot of bloody slicing. I didn't have it done to my boys, and neither of them screamed when their diapers were changed like my circumcised roomate's baby did. I'm so, so glad I left my baby boys alone. I recommend you watch a video of the procedure if you haven't already... it's a big deal and I don't think "you wouldn't understand" is a good enough reason to make a choice like that for another person. Hope I'm not coming across obnoxious. I have an "intactivist" friend who I think takes it too far even though I technically agree with her and I don't want to do that. But if this was something you wanted to fight for, I think you should keep fighting for it.
Kumanshu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. He gets mad every time I bring it up. Because he's circumcised he thanks it's best. My brother is a doctor and has even advised him against it. He even sent him medical studies and reports advising against it. No matter what, he wants it done. I tried to explain it's unnecessary and a $500 cosmetology procedure. He still doesn't care.
We did that.. the teacher discounted my question "Do you need to be circumcised to have sex?" with the reply, "I'm only taking SERIOUS questions.." it was a serious question, and I got no answer, and since it was anonymous, I couldn't pipe up and protest. System fail.
Isn't that Lamarckist theory? Lamarck was the dude who disagreed with Darwin's theory of evolution and said that traits were obtained during an animals lifetime, e.g. a giraffe's neck would grow taller in order for it to reach higher branches. Not too long ago people still believed stuff like this.
I loved that anonymous box. I asked what suicide meant since my mom wouldn't tell me (I heard it being used in bugs life), and I asked what I meant when my mom said she got her tubes tied. The teacher took me aside after class and told me the meaning of suicide instead of telling everyone in class.
Could be worse. My partner had a friend growing up, whose mother had not believed she (mom, herself) could possibly be pregnant - because her husband wasn't circumcised.
Now imagine what early human mating would have to have been like!
To be fair, my friends and I put in a bunch of screwy questions just to laugh when the teacher read them. It was fun. That has to be common and I really doubt this was serious.
Naberius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like he was told his father's penis was circumcised but his wasn't, but not told what circumcision itself is?
inthrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Sex Ed class in private (normal, not affiliated with a church or faith or anything) school was a crazy affair where they brought in a guy we had never seen before who talked to us 7th graders, as well as the 8th graders.
There were no anonymous questions. Raise your hand and ask.
The best question was from CJ, an 8th grader: "What does it mean if it comes out like cottage cheese?" Rob, his best friend, tried so damn hard to not laugh but couldn't hold it in.
I don't remember the answer, but I remember the actual teachers weren't pleased with how we behaved in front of a guest of the school.
Depending on where this was, it may be less a sad commentary on his intelligence and more a sad commentary on the state of sex ed. When I was in eighth grade, the only sex ed we got was actually having sex.
Not a teacher.
But during high school, one of the girls in my history class asked our teacher who had won ww2. We were like 14 and had spent the last three months studying ww2.
Bonus points, we told her Germany won and she believed us for a month till we took pity of her and explained that the allies won.
[deleted] ยท 1074 points ยท Posted at 14:58:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We convinced my friend that Germany had almost won the war, then France had come out of nowhere and take over the entire continent, thus causing the Cold War
Because the french gave them the cold shoulder right?
FalconAt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, France did recover from hostile invasion by some Germans and their allies, then go on to conquer most of Europe and have a Lukewarm War with England. It was the Napoleonic Era.
Linearts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is sort of correct if you change France to America.
Core308 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In France kids are/was thought that France was freed by french troops and that the British and Americans (Alies) just played a minor role like bringing "the brave french soldier" his coffee and baguette...
Prae_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:24:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's definitly not the case at the moment, and I have a hard time believing it was ever true. We own the beaches where the Normandy's landings happen. Also, I can't imagine a world where we let english men handle our baguettes.
2059FF ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:36:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're American, what you're doing is projecting. I know many Americans who know nothing at all about the Eastern front (it's only the largest military confrontation in history) and believe Hitler was single-handedly defeated by American troops.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, go check out "Soviet Storm" on Netflix. It's a thirty-part documentary on the Eastern Front of WWII. 1600-mile-long meat grinder=cool tv
You must be new to Reddit. People don't typically scroll through months-old posts and reply to comments as if they were made yesterday.
The only embarrassing thing for me is I'm wasting time replying to you. If you wanted to reply to my comment months after it was posted you probably shouldn't have started out by acting like a condescending cunt. Not sure what you were expecting. Bye retard.
derleth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:21 on July 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck are you on about? Why are you replying to an old post?
Jesus, get a life.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:15:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You probably have already heard of it, but you should check out "The man in the High Castle" (book and amazon prime TV series) - it's about the post WW2 world where the axis powers won. super interesting.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
idk that it necessarily got any better, but the universe the show is set in got way bigger, so that was interesting? but yeah i had a hard time remembering what happened in season 1 haha
I just finished streaming season 2 on Amazon. Wondering when I'll get to see season 3. As a history geek the "what if" about one of my favorite time periods is fascinating.
The teacher once asked the class how the American colonists won the revolution, and I enthusiastically raised my hand and said "bullets."
The class started laughing like crazy, I'm guessing because the teacher was rather stern, so people thought I was mocking him with a blatantly wrong answer?
Julgrava ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:13:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar in my medieval English history class in college. We were going over this particular king's (Cnut, pronounced Ca-Noot) accomplishments, pretty much a huge list from the Anglo Saxon chronical, and she asked what happened next. It was the end of his life. So I raised my hand, she made the mistake of calling on me and I said "He died."
Once, the funny subsitute teacher came to our history class and a girl asked him what we would be learning today (after our last class was about the Gilded Age or something). He replied "World War IV".
The student's response of "...really?" was a little amusing and disconcerting.
JMW007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, I recall someone in my high school history class, two days before the final exam on WWII, flicking through the textbook and suddenly blurting out that she always thought Hitler's moustache was smaller than that. When the teacher took a look, she sighed, and said "That's Neville Chamberlain, dear."
adraria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That exact same thing happened with a girl at my school when we were doing coursework on it. Pen written. She tore up her work. Poor girl. Her family was/is super rich though, so she had that going for her.
tonyray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we were reading Killer Angels and studying the Civil War for a month or two. I am not embellishing at all when I say that we were done with the book and the war and a couple people in the class all of a sudden became self aware and had to ask who the Union and the Confederacy were.
Did you go to school with me? A girl in my class thought that colour was invented just after WWII. Apparently before that the world was in black and white, which is why all the old newsreels we watched were too.
She also thought that Africa was a planet and confused the rush to colonise it through the 1700s - 1900s with the start of the space race.
In the 8th grade a couple of my friends hung out at the back entrance to the school and told the fifth graders coming in we had a new exchange student from Russia today whose name was Joseph Stalin. Apparently, my brother was the only one who didn't believe them.
I had to get some things copied that day for a club and heard some teachers talking about it, so I admitted which class they were in. The civics teacher then made a point of asking that whole class to please not tease the younger children because they were very confused.
warpus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I convinced a bunch of British urologists on a conference in Chile that the Germans used to shrink heads. (We were in a museum which was showing off shrunken heads that some of the native tribes in the area used to.. .. do.. and so I jumped in and said "The Germans used to do this too" and everyone just assumed it was the truth)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was recently in Poland with my 24-year-old friend. We'd been to plenty of WW2 memorial sites and museums at this point. She asked me a history question and I said, "Well, after the Germans lost-" and she suddenly shouted, "Oh! The Germans lost??" in complete shock.
She didn't understand why me and my other friend were laughing at her.
I was in the Air Force with a guy that "didn't like the south park movie because they made the black People fight first in the war against Canada" so we convinced him that is based on what happened when we had the war with Canada. We also convinced him to go to GNC and ask for tape worms if he really wanted to lose weight.
Poor girl, she lived in a better world for a month, then had it all ripped away.
arbivark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
japan attained most of its diplomatic objectives, even if they didnt do so well militarily.
Zaxian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid question.... or very smart.
If she meant to phrase it as comparing each country before and after the war...
France was on the "victor's" side, but after the war millions of French were dead, the economy was worse off, there was huge amounts of property damage, etc., so it could be argued that they "lost".
The US economy grew, relations were strengthened, etc. so the US definitely "Won".
That teacher routinely perved on his teenage students, kept moving me away from my friends because he felt like it even though I was the only person passing and was doing a better job of teacher his subject then he was, and got into a screaming match with 14year old me in from of like 200 students because I wouldn't give him my jacket. He was also convinced that tomorrow was spelt to-morrow...
This was only the tip of his unprofessionalism
batty3108 ยท 755 points ยท Posted at 14:53:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't want to sit next to the radiator. Won't I get radiation sickness?"
This literally just happened last week at the university where my husband works. One of the older buildings had a radiator leak in one of the classrooms, so a physics class was cancelled that day. One of the college kids texted his parents about the issue, and his mom got so concerned when he said his class was cancelled due to a "radiation leak" that she called the cops here in our town, and they sent out a response team to deal with the leak.
I love how this guy was smart enough to know about radiation sickness but didn't figure out that radiators aren't nuclear reactors
X-istenz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:07:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he's lucky, the lesson he takes out of this is "not all radiation is dangerous". More likely, it was "they should really change the name of radiators".
A girl back in my grade 9 science class once asked "what happens to the egg in the moms stomach when the baby hatches" we were covering sexual reproduction and the reproductive cycle. And in Quebec sex-ed is taught in elementary school (most of them)
Quebec sex ed classes vary by school sometimes. My brother received a way better program than I did; my class covered contraception and condoms in sec one, his had a whole lecture on consent and about how gay people have sex.
Contraception in my school consisted of the field hockey coach teaching us basic anatomy and saying "I wish I could tell you about birth control but I'd get fired."
Hell I remember learning how to put on a condom using a broomstick when I was 12 in sec.1 -- which is was embarrassing as fuck but absolutely the best moment and place to learn. This was before Education and Culture Religieuse, back when it was style FPS/Morale
Ya we learned in sec 1 to use contraception like what it does, then in sec 3 in science we learned how to put a condom and the different type of contraception
fcbRNkat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had the basics of sex-ed in elementary and I remember learning the process of conception for the first time (1995 and I had no siblings, gimme a break) and it was like a total mindblowing realization which I very quickly told all of my younger neighbors and was asked to leave their house
I mean... The phrasing is clearly bad, but I can see where it comes from. Namely that we use the same word for both eggs that hatch (like the ones laid by chickens) and the ones that human women have. My Ontario sex ed in elementary school was almost all "What happens during puberty". I can absolutely see the fact women have eggs coming up during a puberty discussion without anyone talking about how you get from egg to baby.
I went to Roslyn in the 90s (EMSB school) and we got sex ed in grade 5 complete with labeled graphs of male & female genitals (i.e. very detailed, not 'when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much' type stuff).
I think it depends on the region, in Montreal 99% actually go to high school, so they don't have to rush it. Whereas in other regions some kids just do elementary and go help their family or something
Yeah I'm in Florida it was around grade 4 we covered it. Honestly it was a pretty decent class they didn't start teaching us to be ashamed of sex until 7th.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:56:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on area of Canada "middle school" and "junior high" may or may not exist.
So you end up with a few very large elementary schools (Kindergarten- grade 8) then fewer even larger highschools (9-12).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. In Quebec, it's Elementary 1 to 6 and Secondary 1 to 5 (or I guess 7 to 11). Some school split Sec 1-2 from Sec 3-4-5, but it's mostly because of the size of the building and the available room, rather than a distinct entity.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and then Ontario is a shitshow depending on school boards and Geography.
Every possible term for the different school divisions that you can think of (American and Canadian terms) are used at random. -.-
Hell sometimes they even overlap if one school gets renovated or another becomes overflown.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't speak for the Quebecois, but in Ontario, Elemantary is JK to 8 and Secondary is 9-12
Well in quebec we also have this thing called "cegep" so we have elementary school from grade 1-6 then highschool for 5 years, then cegep for 2-3 years depending on what u take and then university
valryuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Ontario, Gr. 7-8 (and sometimes 6) is considered Middle School.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a room mate that didn't know what the "clitoral hood" was ... she's in her early 20s and was sexually active ... I had to get a diagram for her. Knowing her childhood being between 2 countries, I could see that she missed a lot of mandatory sex ed.
Not a teacher, but in a my freshman college class, one student asked our professor, "you know how it says all men are created equal? Well that's not true, because like I'm good at hockey but some people aren't, and some people are good singers - so that's wrong, isn't it?"
She didn't know how to answer that one (because she was stunned into silence).
Edited: a couple words at the end because of confusion.
i always thought that meant: more common. did the author meant as in the pigs meant it as they where better than the other animals?
Baneken ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:32:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not so subtle stab on Russian revolution that started as "all workers unite, all are equal" and pretty much had forgotten everything except rhetoric by 1944 when the book came out.
i get that but did they mean it as : some are more equal like some are more common or as in some are better.
to me: more equal = common not better. though i saw the film, not read the book.
Baneken ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:06:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It means that even if by law and really meaning it that all people are equal there must always be leaders in charge and by definition leaders must always have more power and means then subordinates.
So in other words phrase "were all equals but some of are more equal then others" is more of less BS because the human nature is not compatible of such an equality; the masses always require someone to take lead, someone who is in charge.
In context of Communism it means that soviet et al. leaders had all the luxuries and wealth while the people were still living in poverty and kept in line with almost exact phrases like the famous one used in the book and with a public trust on the state ie. the pigs in power.
Practically, yes. In the context of the declaration, it was an argument that the rights we have are inherent to ourselves, granted to us at the time of our creation, rights we cannot discharge. If they are inhernet to us, it is outside the scope of the governemt to take away those rights as they werent granted by the government in the first place. hell of an argument for breaking away from a monarch.
dragn99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe rewrite that ending sentence, then? 'She didn't know how to answer that one' reads like she explicitly didn't know the answer to the question, not that his stupidity stunned her into speechlessness.
Teacher here. Sometimes the questions like that are the hardest to answer, because to ask a question like that you must have missed a whole bunch of foundations somewhere. So to answer the question effectively you have to identify which foundation is missing first. Which is a whole process of its own.
For example, which is the harder question to answer. "why is the sky blue?" or "if the sky is blue, how come everything I look at isn't blue?".
Simplification for a simple audience. Also a joke that whooshed.
For example, which is the harder question to answer. "why is the sky blue?" or "if the sky is blue, how come everything I look at isn't blue?".
Color is made from light that bounces into our eyes. And light is made up of tiny waves. Different colors of light are made up of different sizes of waves. The bigger waves (red, orange), the medium waves (yellow, green), the small waves (blue and purple). When all these waves of light hit the sky, they break apart - the smaller the wave, the more they break - and the more they break the more tiny pieces of them you see. Since blue is small, it breaks up a lot and covers the sky. Since the purple wave is even smaller than blue, it breaks up even more! But the human eye isn't good at seeing things too small, so we only see blue.
These light waves also go into things. Some things absorb big waves better. Some things absorb small waves better. When waves are not absorbed, they bounce off the thing into your eyes. This changes the color of the thing!
TA-DA! Same explanation to the 5 year old and the physicist. Just a difference in appropriate terminology and calculations.
Of course you tell the truth that's a given. But how I would explain why the sky is blue to a phD physicist is different to how I would explain it to a 6 year old.
I was saying that if a kid who should be further along with their development asks a weird question its probably because they have some fundamental misunderstanding somewhere and the main thing you want to do as a teacher is tease out and address that misunderstanding before answering the question they asked. The reason being that until you fix the misunderstanding you are more likely to confuse the matter further.
Clearly, you misunderstood the point I made. I'll try to elaborate for you, I guess.
The difference between ELI5 and IAmAParticlePhysicist is in language and degrees of simplification. To appropriately build an educational foundation - since that was your argument - the content doesn't - and shouldn't - really change. Truth doesn't change - only the presentation of it; the depth of content is aligned with the maturity of the audience.
That sounds less clueless and more like someone being an edgelord.
The kind of person who would make a facebook post about a theoretical fight which contains the phrase "*teleports behind you*"
m50d ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 16:39:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question, it's a very smart one.
2Wrongs ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 17:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Especially since it leads to pretty fundamental questions about law and justice. And you hear people trot the partial quote out with no context. Great teachable moment.
I disagree, this doesn't strike me as a stupid question. I mean, it's kind of an ongoing political debate; how do we resolve the tension between a desire for sociopolitical equality and the reality of a socioeconomic meritocracy? People don't have to demonstrate any level of education or engagement to vote; is that fair? Welfare provides for some people who don't have high skill jobs; is that fair? If you're good at hockey and some other people aren't, "Why do people who aren't the same as me have the same rights as me?" is arguably the central message behind every news story of the past few months.
The equality is legal. The idea is that everyone has the same legal rights as everyone else, no matter who your parents were. Beyond that, in the context it was written, the statement doesn't tell you anything. We are created equal, and are always viewed equally under the law (or supposed to be, anyways), but we can become more wealthy or powerful or whatever by what we achieve.
In other words, the statement as written in the Declaration of Independence has nothing to do with merit, only equality under the law.
I understand what you're saying, but first of all even if you're right that's a subtle enough distinction that it's not a stupid question. Like another commenter said, the point that we don't assume equality, we enact it isn't patently obvious. And second of all even in the context of legal rights varying based on merit that tension exists. If we take the student's larger point to mean that, "You say people are equal but clearly they aren't the same, so what does equality mean, why are we comfortable with saying that, and how do we apply it in practice?" (which even if all of those meanings weren't that intentional the teacher should have explained to him and that would have explained his underlying doubts) then there are lots of places where you can see examples of people being different but equal affecting their legal rights. I mean, not to put too fine a point on it but "separate but equal" was a thing for a reason, and I'm sure a lot of segregation-era white people thought about black people in much the same way the student is outlining.
Even under that view, it's not a stupid question. Equal with the same legal rights isn't clear either and it depends on what your definition of what a "right" is. Is the right to education the right to get a free education or the right for the opportunity to pay for the education? If I can't afford college, does that really mean I have the "right" to go to college?
It definitely goes further than just law. Its a seriously controversial philosophical debate that won't end any time soon.
b561248 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 17:12:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. It can hardly be "self-evident" that all men are equal under the law. We don't discover evidence for legal equality - we simply enact it. Jeremy Bentham - undoubtedly one of the most important legal theorists of his time and certainly not stupid - mocked the declaration of independence on these very grounds, among many other things:
They are about โto assume,โ as they tell us, โamong the powers of the earth, that equal and separate ( 120 ) station to whichโ โ they have lately discovered โ โthe laws of Nature, and of Natureโs God entitle them.โ What difference these acute legislators suppose between the laws of Nature and of Natureโs God, is more than I can take upon me to determine, or even to guess. If to what they now demand they were entitled by any law of God, they had only to produce that law, and all controversy was at an end. Instead of this, what do they produce? What they call sell-evident truths. โAll men,โ they tell us, โare created equal.โ This rarity is a new discovery; now, for the first time, we learn, that a child, at the moment of his birth, has the same quantity of natural power as the parent, the same quantity of political power as the magistrate.
That argument seems kind of strange to me...the statement is all men are created equal, it says nothing of their power later in life, as a "parent or magistrate." The implication is that ideally all men should begin with equal opportunity under the law, but that doesn't mean some might have more power than others later.
The statement "all men are created equal" doesn't mean that no men should ever have power over others, but that all should have equal opportunity to create power and opportunity for themselves. It seems to me that Bentham didn't understand it that way, which isn't surprising considering the time in which he lived.
b561248 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:32:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EDIT: that said, I don't mean to write off your reaction either. The student's question shows quite a bit of ignorance about how we understand equality today. Still, it's exactly the sort of question you want to get as a teacher.
It's not a witty comment. It's an actual philosophical point of view used to support beliefs of genetic and racial supremacy. It should have been thoroughly and critically addressed by the professor.
It's not a witty comment. It's an actual philosophical point of view used to support beliefs of genetic and racial supremacy. It should have been thoroughly and critically addressed by the professor.
This is a point of view... that can be used to support... [viewpoint I disagree with strongly and hold in distaste.]
I'm not even suggesting that you're wrong about what the professor should have done, but the reasoning here is a direct statement of the logical fallacy Proving Too Much. The philosophical point must be discussed on its own merits, and those other points would later be given the same treatment.
entenkin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:18:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Declaration of Independence is not a law, though.
And this is why teachers discourage people labeling things as "stupid questions." In this case, OP is too stupid to recognize this as an intelligent question.
Entotrte ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:41:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know they say that all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another wrestler, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down. See the 3 way, at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me and he's not even gonna try!
So Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. Seรฑor Joe, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice.
I always took this in the literal sense; we all come out of a woman naked and (usually) screaming. We are all created by eggs and sperms. Nothing says we all remain equal forever, just that we all start that way.
I think the question reflects an all-too-common misconception. The reason this misconception is common is that the concepts describing just how and why people are referred to as 'born equal' in the Declaration of Independence are not widely taught in schools today. The very notion that some people--called royalty back then--were born inherently higher, of a different order on the social status hierarchy, is almost lost to history today. In fact, the very notion of social hierarchy--deeply ingrained in British and European cultures until the last century--is hard to describe to young folks today. "Mind your station" or the notion of "your betters" are archaic, however central to the lives of scores of generations it was, however recently it was discarded.
But really, discussion of social hierarchy is needed in the States today, more than ever, IMO, for people to understand the problems we have with race.
Sorry for getting all wordy and preachy and hi-falutin'. Coffee must have kicked in.
The point is that people are "created" equally, meaning either god or science starts from the same proverbial square one. It's a statement that means people determine their own destiny, or are meant to be given the opportunity to do so.
A more literal statement would be "Opportunity should not pick favorites."
They say all men are created equal, it doesn't get any more famous, but is it really true? ... It's not true. Some people are born very smart, some people are born not so smart. Some people are born very beautiful and some people are not so you can't say they're all created equal. ... The phrase is used often so much [sic] and it's a very confusing phrase to a lot of people
I always took this in the literal sense; we all come out of a woman naked and (usually) screaming. We are all created by eggs and sperms. Nothing says we all remain equal forever, just that we all start that way.
Sunfried ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised she couldn't answer that, the answer is, 'equal' doesn't mean everyone can do the same things...it means that all people are considered of equal worth regardless of their individual talents or shortcomings, and that all people are viewed equal under the law.
The simple answer is, how can you weight traits and skills from an unbiased eye if we're all humans? What is the objective value of being able to sing or being apt in carpentry? The answer is we are all equal from an unbiased eye, whether that be the law, god or anything else in context of the statement.
Rephaite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Equal under the law is not the same as equivalent in skill. You might be smarter, kinder, more athletic, and prettier than I am. I might be a musical savant while you're tone-deaf. You might be a woman. I might be a man. You might be white. I might be a black Chinese Cuban who grew up in Mumbai. You might be Jewish. I might be Catholic.
The point is that under the law none of that matters. We all should get treated the same. We all should abide by the same laws, the same regulations, the same freedoms, etc.
Since the phrase is "all men are CREATED equal", the obvious answer to this is that all people were of equal skill level in hockey and singing at birth.
It's truly astonishing the number of people who don't know that is from the Constitution and means equal under the law.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:48 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
from the Constitution
from the Declaration of Independence.
dreinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fantastic question that can lead to great discussion on capabilities theory - take a look at Martha Nussbaum's commentary on John Rawls. Er actually just read the cliff notes - that woman's writing is sooo dense.
I mean, that's a good philosophical question and a good way to get into the difference between equality and equity, equality vs opportunity, etc. Since he plays sports, he's used to "equals" meaning "rivals."
Now that stupid kid is grown up and thinks he stumped his teacher by pointing out a hole in "all men are created equal" and has gone on to be an anarcho-capitalist.
She's not going to be a feminist when she grows up. She has logic.
pagnoodle ยท 834 points ยท Posted at 15:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is one of my favorites. I had one of my choir students sitting there studying her hands for about 10 minutes. She wasn't really singing, just quizzically looking at both sides of her hands. So I finally asked what was so interesting about her hands. Her response...
"Well, I was wondering. Are gloves like underwear for your hands."
"No. no they are not."
Later that year she was also surprised to learn that helicopters were started inside the cabin of the helicopter and not by gigantic rip cords pulled by a bunch if people.
Edit: I showed her that underwear for your hands already exists. Her mind was blown.
http://www.handerpants.com
The helicopter comment was just a real lack of understanding. I had made some reference about how the music needs to move in the way a helicopter starts, very slowly getting faster and louder until it takes off into a new idea. She commented how she thought they just started with a big ripcord.
skelekey ยท 396 points ยท Posted at 16:08:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you put mittens over them then absolutely, it would be hard to dispute.
JInxIt ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:14:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You, I like you.
jontss ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:35:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glove liners or "undergloves" are totally a thing. I use them all the time on my motorcycle. Made out of some kind of imitation silk, just like my underwear.
Do you remember those kids toys from the 90s that were (OK now I'm realizing this might have been only a girl thing...) like fairies or something whose arms/wings were actually propellors kinda and the body had a central axle. You pulled a ripcord and it spun and would "fly" up into the air. When my dad pulled it, it would go flying waaay high. I could see that being what she was thinking
Source: Almost lost my eyes on many occasions to spinning foam/plastic blades
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember those! My sister had one of those! We used to tie things up on our ceiling and try to hit it with the fairy (i think hers was tinkerbell? it was green, anyway)
To be fair to her, we used to start aeroplane propellers by physically spinning them, if she's never had any interaction with helicopters in movies then that might not be totally unreasonable. How old though?
Haha. I will try to remember. My wife has a really good sense of humor. And those handerpants would be a gag gift after fancy bacon from our local butcher.
My cousin is a teacher, and one day he had to teach a sex ed unit to the class. You know the ones where everyone splits off into boy and girl groups so that they can put any question in a hat and have it answered anonymously. He is a guy so he was answering the questions for the boys.
So, he got some questions that were clearly looking for stupid answers, and threw them out. As usual, certain jokers were trying to get a rise out of him. Then he got a question that asked "Why do you have to have an erection to have sex with a girl?"
This one he couldn't avoid, he didn't know if it was serious or not so he decided he would have to answer it.
He said "you know how you have the plastic tip on the end of your shoelaces to get it into the hole? It is kind of like that."
This may be the greatest metaphor I ever personally heard of.
Reminds me of middle school sex Ed. The jokester of the class asked if he popped a girl's cherry would she get pregnant? My early twenties young female teacher turned bright red.
Ben_zyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever tried pushing cooked sphagetti through a letterbox? Actually there's almost certainly no real world explanation for that being a thing but I'll stick with the concept anyway.
Probably not. while in the past he's expressed a few pro-gun control opinions, I don't think it was ever an issue at the core of his political agenda beyond switching to being pro-gun rights to gain allies with conservatives. He's verbally backed a couple of gun-rights bills (see below), but has more or less said that police investigation and court procedures are what need attention to prevent crime and that gun control is ineffective.
The two big gun rights bills that have started to go through are the Hearing Protection Act (HPA) and a National Reciprocity bill (NR).
The HPA will remove suppressors from their current legal category (which is currently the same category as machine guns, explosive devices, and short barrel rifles). It's called the HPA because that's the actual purpose of suppressors; guns are extremely loud and can easily permanently damage your hearing, so a lot of gun owners love shooting with suppressors because you don't need to wear multiple levels of ear pro for every person on the range. I'll note that not only are suppressors typically legal in Europe, but are often required to minimize noise pollution. The hollywood stereotypes about "silencers" are pretty much bullshit, even with a suppressor firearms are still quite loud. Suppressors just drop the decibels down to an "ear safe" range. Suppressors are also very expensive, and criminals almost universally stick to very cheap guns (because it's usually poverty and poor socioeconomic situations that drive them to crime in the first place). Gun control groups will fight it, but only on principal and there's no real reason for concern that the bill would cause some sort of crime problem.
The NR bill is primarily about concealed carry laws. Currently, these are handled on a state-by-state basis. Most states are shall-issue and respect licences from other states, but many do not and it creates issues when gun owners travel. The purpose of the bill is to require states to respect other state's CCW permits, which may require states who are currently very strict on who they issue ccw permits to (read: they basically won't issue a permit) to issue permits more freely. So if you don't like concealed carry, you won't like this bill. That said, CCW permit holders across the nation are just about the most law-abiding group you can find (they commit fewer crimes of all types than police officers, and police officers are convicted of crimes at about 1/40th of the rate if your average citizen) so I wouldn't worry about a CCW crime wave either. I'm not sure if there are other parts of the bill covering things like concealed carry on college campuses, you'd have to look that up.
No problem. There are probably going to be some more gun-rights bills upcoming in the next few years thanks to the republican majority, but I think there are the two "big" ones getting started right now at the federal level.
Wouldn't be surprised if they order that all public accomadations allow concealed carry/firearms, since those can also be regulated at from the federal level per the Civil Rights Act.
We thought we were so clever coming up with it. After a point we reduced it down to "tank tawps, bnear arwms" in a Team America Maaaatttt Daaaammmon voice. We were stupid actually.
We even tried to go for the triple entendre of saying that every citizen has the right to own and use the tops of tanks as a way of bearing weapons.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also stupid that kids can't wear tank tops in school. If some Cheeto fingered rat mustached thirteen year old can't focus because they can't help but get a hard on every time they see a shoulder, that person has bigger problems.
Run by state and local actually. Legally they won't get punished of course, just like it's not illegal to text in class but you'll still get detention or something.
We need a new Ammendment to protect the right to bare thighs
Fordluvr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As much as people would like to think this kid is hella witty, all it probably means is that he heard his dad listening to a Larry the Cable Guy album.
Sihplak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that's a good double entendre; right to "bare arms" and right to "bear arms", i.e. right to not have your arms covered and the right to show off your "guns".
"Because you don't actually have rights yet and are basically your parents' slave. Turns out Lincoln didn't like kids much."
zverkalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
clearly the answer is 'because you are not a bear'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right to bear arms
Right to bare arms
Right to bear arms (hold severed physical appendages)
Right to bear arms (right to have two arms attached to your shoulders)
Right to bear arms (bear arms attached to human shoulders)
Technically, there's a bunch of ways to look at that phrase. Maybe he was joking. Or maybe he thought it meant one of the meanings mentioned above. Maybe he was just dumb. It's honestly hard to tell with some people.
Once in ancient history class we were talking about the Ephors of Sparta, and how they held the most power and authority, and the teacher jokingly was using himself as an example of an Ephor and us students as an example of the citizens of Sparta, saying he held power over us and he could tell us what to do and all that.
He told one of my friends to shut up because he was talking to much, and that he had to do it because he was and Ephor and my friend was just a citizen of Sparta, so my mate says "yeah you might be an e-four, but I'm an e-five"
I've never thought about it much but he really is a witty guy.
jim10040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, MST3K did have an episode where they wore tank tops.
Future redditor right here. The upvotes are strong with this one.
Jubguy3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop
[deleted] ยท 1212 points ยท Posted at 14:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I'm a librarian/archivist and I used to work at a university. One time a student came in while I was doing reference and he was waiting to pick up a print job or something so he started asking me questions to pass the time. Which is cool, except it very quickly devolved into him flagrantly trying to impress/hit on me. (I have no idea why.)
Basically, the dumbest question a student ever asked me was, complete with what I'm sure were his best bedroom eyes, "so have you ever read The Art of Seduction?"
cinnapear ยท 1138 points ยท Posted at 15:34:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
except it very quickly devolved into him flagrantly trying to impress/hit on me. (I have no idea why.)
I got this one:
You're cute.
[deleted] ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 17:47:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
brb blushing furiously
it takes one to know one, you know. scientific fact
I'm pretty sure that those who have are more likely to be psychos. The book sounded cool to me so I looked into it. After screening through the book I understood it to be more of an "analyze the population, select your prey, deceive the prey, feast and feel rewarded" type book than a "be smooth" kinda thing. If that kid read the book he may have some distorted thoughts on the way things are.
Librarian solidarity. I work in the reference department of a public library. I had to stop wearing makeup and implement the traditional "librarian bun" to get the male patrons to leave me alone. One patron had to be trespassed from the library because he kept trying to corner me.
It means there is an official order that the patron cannot be on library property for a certain amount of time. The patron in question cannot come on library property for a year.
Fabgrrl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a librarian too. My husband insists the librarian bun is sexy, at least he always says so when I wear my hair up.
Another university librarian here. My two most stupid questions were:
(a) Have you got Anals of Tourism Research?
(b) What's a journal? Is it like a book?
Because she said anal as in related to the anus. She should have said annals with a short "a", which means a record of the events of a year (as in annual).
As an older student going to college, one things stands out for me....
We were discussing the coastal flooding attributed to the melting of the ice caps, and the kid asked the professor what the big deal was... the land was lifting as fast as the sea was rising anyway.
The professor stopped to digest that for a moment.
The kid went on to say that the flooding wasn't a worry because all of the worlds coastlines were constantly lifting up out of the ocean depths.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 19:34:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
edrmeow ยท 849 points ยท Posted at 15:20:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
รlvaro de Marichalar used to hold the world record for longest distance by Jet Ski when he went from Rome to New York City in 2002. I'd say it's definitely possible, West African ports don't make for great PR opportunities though, so it probably won't ever happen.
DemIce ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 16:02:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't see what the problem would be as long as you can tug all the extra fuel behind you. In the case of de Marichalar: "A support ship with six crew members carried fuel and food."
I'd say that violates the spirit of the question, at the very least...
zverkalt ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:21:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you have enough money to waste, pretty much anything is possible
StevenTM ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:16:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the spirit likes it ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
DemIce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it, though? I think we don't have enough information in the question to make it a definite 'no', whereas with assumptions it's easily a definite 'yes'.
Instead of saying "no" or "yes", though, a teacher might engage the student by starting with "what do you think? How would you do it?"
Couldn't you theoretically jet ski forever if you had a ship behind you with supplies? Did he do this without sleeping? I guess that could be a determining factor.
Goluxas ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:10:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the same way you can theoretically run 10 back to back marathons if you could stop for food and rest. Theoretically possible for everyone, but only a few would have the drive to do it.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 17:18:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been running consecutive marathons my own life, just at my own pace and by myself.
ass2ass ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:06:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've just been walking them. I'll probably finish another one the next time I go to the bathroom.
nate800 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:31:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The engine in my Waverunner is rated to last 1,500 hours, so if you had a ship following you that could provide food, water, light mechanical maintenance like oil changes, and other such items I suppose you could go for one hell of a ride.
DemIce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the article I got that from said he sailed (not sure that's the word here) for 12 hours a day, and had to do so standing most of the time so as not to completely screw up his spine. I guess rough seas for an extended period on one's posterior is not physically recommended.
Was there a sail involved in moving him? Like, he was being propelled by the wind pushing a big piece of canvas? If not, then sailing is exactly the wrong word.
DemIce ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:40:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I'm not entirely sure what the correct word would be either. "Sailing" is definitely used for powered ships as well.
Far before towing enough fuel, you would get to a point where the weight being towed can't be moved effectively by the jet ski. The only way to cross an ocean on a jet ski is with support by boats!
macphile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to figure out how this could be, but sure, if you had fuel, and you stopped at night and slept...I mean, you're barely doing it at all. But congrats to him, I guess?
If you've ever crossed the Atlantic by boat, you know this is absolute madness. I remember the first time I walked out on the deck of a huge Navy ship in the middle of the Atlantic. Seeing those giant blue swells, I had a sublime experience of being totally inconsequential to nature.
edrmeow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can only imagine. I bet in some long forgotten part of the internet there is some batshit crazy footage from his journey.
Inocain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:05:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty easy, just follow the Mohawk to the Hudson and then take the Hudson down. Oh wait, you meant Italy, didn't you.
Did he stop to refuel or sleep? My back hurts just thinking about jet skiing that far.
nate800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He would go for 12-14 hours at a time and sleep for about 4 hours. He had a supply ship with calorie-dense food bars, water, and fuel. He had 4 external fuel tanks as well.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:57:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or if it's a very big jetski and you have someone bringing you gas, lol.
There's a mad German doctor who solo kayaked from Europe to North America twice... He did some modification, though - added a sail and an outrigger. Lots of fishing.
I'm sure with the right planning and mods you could do it on a jet ski, but the fuel would be problematic. Bet you could do it on a jetski towing a supply raft, though.
Haha, I was like well technically you can, but you would almost certainly die trying.
nagol93 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:53:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wanna bet?!?!?
Im currently working on a way to drive (in a car) across the Atlantic, from New York to London. The jetski will be easy!
Poobslag ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:07:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm struggling to think about how you could possibly drive from New York to London in a car. Unless... are you eight? And does your plan involve like, a really cool jump ramp?
nagol93 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:12:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Theoretically it you gun it hard enough you can hydroplane to Europe. The hard part is finding a car capable of achieving such acceleration and top speed.
The issue with the ramp is the angle of flight would probably cause me to leave the atmosphere, and I would be fighting against gravity.
mako98 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:27:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just get one of those jet powered cars they use to break the land-speed records and replace the wheels with skis.
Waves occur everywhere, the wavelengths tend to elongate the deeper the water is, making them usually easier to navigate. A good way to ease this would be to switch from skis to hydrofoils. You'd right just above the chop, significantly decrease drag forces and rocket across the ocean. But then again you're no longer driving a car across the ocean anymore are you.
mako98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only a few million dollars I think. Or you could steal one. How are they gonna catch you? You stole the fastest "car" in the world.
nagol93 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:18:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get a small loan of 10 million dollars, please?
Top Gear drove a car across the English Channel, so why not across the Atlantic? Just seal it up with some foam, attach some 50 gallon drums to the sides for stability, and bolt a propeller to the back, and you should be good to go! Just be sure to pack an umbrella. London can be a bit rainy this time of year.
Kichigai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, we found one of the guys responsible for 1958. Break out the amnestics.
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol, thats amazing!
Unfortunately I am not one of those people. But with my Theoretical Degree in Physics and deep understanding of KBR (Kerbal Based Rocketry), I feel like I could get a small bus in the Andromeda Galaxy is a short 1.7 million years.
Of corse I will need to brush up on quantum tunneling to assist in breaking the light barrier, Im a bit rusty in that field.
Kichigai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youโฆ you didn't read the excepts of the diary, did you?
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Im reading them now
Kichigai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is "amazing" still the word you'd use to describe SCP-1958?
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:06 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but in a different sense then I originally intended
Check out pny2009.com. Technically they go from Paris to New York, but I don't see why you couldn't reverse the trip.
(Personally, I think it's probably a lot easier and cheaper to ship your car over on a ship but if you're absolutely set on the car must drive over...)
The best bet might be crossing the ocean from Sierra Leone to Brazil, it's just less than 1800 miles. Based on these specs, if you had external tanks so you could carry 3x your normal fuel load you would only need to fuel up 7 times. If you rested for 10 hours at the 3rd and 6th fuel stop you could make it in less than 3 days. Of course you would need support ships to do those stops. But once to Brazil you could go up the cost through the Virgin Islands, the Dominican Republic, the Bahamas to Miami.
Doing the crossing without support vessels would be tough, you would need to carry (probably pull) well more than a ton of fuel to get across from Sierra Leone to Brazil in one go.
alahos ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:23:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's an interesting idea to ponder. Could a jetski haul all that stuff across the Atlantic? Would the energy density of the fuel be sufficient or would it all burn just to carry its own weight? Would the trip exceed the lifespan of the machine?
Certainly couldnt do it on its own but what if it had a support ship and tried to avoid storms? I dont know enough about the conditions out on the ocean but I would be cutious if it could be done with help.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl in my history class in 7th grade (13y/o) ask if there were any bridges across the Atlantic Ocean.
SoulWager ยท 476 points ยท Posted at 14:22:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a reasonable question to ask. I can't remember ever getting any lessons along the lines of, "give students a sense of scale". Sure, you can look at a map, but you have to correlate things on the map to something you have a real world reference for. Like, two cities looking close together on the map, but being a 3 hour drive away in real life.
Skilol ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, as a kid knowing about just half the crazy shit humanity has accomplished/created, it doesn't seem all that far-fetched to think that other crazy shit was done too. If you just think of how incredible of an achievement computers are, or walking around on the moon, would it really be a giant bridge where you'd say "Okay, now that's just something that can't be done."
The best way to find out what has been done and what hasn't, is to ask. I don't see a problem there.
I watched True Lies (1994) when I was a kid, and growing up I always thought bridges over the ocean were a totally doable thing. I just figured it'd be reeeally hard to build them because of how deep the ocean is.
No as in opposit to future holographic globe maps.
shapu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:21:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's one of the weird things about the midwest, or even the Appalachians - you have NO sense of how close together things are in the east.
I'm in Philly now, and I'm two hours from Baltimore, three from Washington, less than two from New York, six from Boston, four-and-a-half from Richmond, and four-and-a-half from Pittsburgh. I can go skiing in Vermont in less than six hours, and see moose in Maine between breakfast and dinner, or get to Cape Hatteras in time for afternoon tea.
But living in St. Louis, the closest city that counted for anything was Kansas City, four hours away; Chicago was about five to downtown. Memphis was four, if you floored it. That's it. You try to explain the fact that you can't just up and go visit other cities if you live in the Midwest to East coasters and they are completely flummoxed.
I guess what I'm saying is that people for whom everything is close have no concept of distance. "Is there a bridge across the Atlantic" makes perfect sense if you think that all big cities are close enough together to drive to them in a day. If you've never known the boredom of western Kansas or central Mississippi then you've got no inherent reason to understand what great distances really are.
That's why so many people think Alaska is an island off the coast of California, right next to Hawaii.
zmija15 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:21:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude there is a scale on like any map ever created. It is 1:x where 1 represents 1cm on a map, and x equals nimber of cm on the ground. So you take a ruler see how many cm is from one city to another and if x is let's say 100000, and the distance between two cities on a map is 10 cm it means their air distance is 10 km.
/u/SoulWager did say "sense of scale." You can look at a map and calculate the distance, but it still doesn't really give a kid a sense of how vast these spaces are.
That's why people can't understand why they haven't found MH370 yet. Most of us don't really understand how big the ocean is.
You still have to make the connection between the number and personal experience. Like, I can tell you the Sun is 150 million km away, but it's too abstract. You won't understand the scale of it just from the number, you need something like this: http://joshworth.com/dev/pixelspace/pixelspace_solarsystem.html
I don't know. I understand what you're saying, but at the same time it's pretty easy to make a personal connection.
For example, the Sun is 150 million km away. If you wanted to "drive" there it would take roughly 170 years to get there going at a highway speed (100km/h).
But that is exactly what the other person is saying. 150 million km is abstract. 170 years of deriving is a relatable sense of scale. Especially for children, giving them relatable senses of scale helps to understand abstract distances.
As my wife can attest, for me one fuck is 3cm. How many fucks to the Sun?
KrowGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 million.
FuzzySAM ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 hundred million.
zmija15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I didn't see you were talking about sense of scale rather than scaling on a map, so sorry about that, but do you really think sense of scale can be taught in schools? I mean it's also a sense, and everyone has a different sense if scale and uses different scale to those 150 milion km. It is something you gain through life, and teacher can bring it closer to you, but might fail. For example the site you provided here doesn't give me the insights to the distance, as it gives it to you. For me the fact that you can fit about 10000 Earths between Earth and Sun provides much more insight to the distance than your source does with the pixels. So that is something that is individual and can't be taught IMO.
Beetin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know grade 7 math algebra is shit like "3w + 2 = 8, what is w?"
Grade 7 ratio work is shit like "Are the ratios 1:4 and 2:10 equivalent?". "9/3 = 15/f"
Expecting all students, even the ones that are a little behind, to be able to look at a map, find the ratio, convert, if needed, from cm to m or km, measure the distance between two points, multiply both sides of the distance by the ratio (4-5 digit numbers here, not 1-2 digit), get the actual distance between two points, then relate that distance to a time scale in terms of how long driving would take (divide 1200 / 60 for example, is already a tough problem).
If they haven't been exposed to maps very much (a reasonable assumption for many kids) and haven't really talked through the idea that maps show a scale of the world, the scales are shown here, here is what the scale means, here are different maps with vastly different scales and how that works. Etc. As adults, especially in the digital age, we've spent enough time looking up maps, zooming in/out, calculating driving distances, using maps, etc etc that it is second nature to us. We forget that all of that is learned information and skills.
Your question is basically: A map shows a ratio of 1cm = 15000 cm. Two cities are separated by the map by roughly 14 cm. Calculate the real distance between New York, USA and London, England. The golden gate bridge is 1.3 km long. How many cm long would that be on this map. How many times longer would the golden gate bridge have to be to reach from New York to London. Calculate the time it would take to travel to from New York to London if you traveled at 90 km/h.
It isn't hard math for an adult, and is pretty easy to estimate and apply your years of knowledge looking at maps, looking at distances, driving, talking to people, etc. It is much much more difficult for a 13 year old without those experiences to try to do the math above without that context and life experience to aid them.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:24:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've seen a scale on a world map? Really? That can't possibly be accurate due to map projection (at least for the most common projections).
No, that is exactly the kind of scale he was describing, it's just that a mercator projection needs a scale that varies with latitude.
Basically, if you maintain due west 1 meter south of the north pole or 1 meter north of the south pole, you would walk ~6.3 meters and end up in the same place you started, and would have covered the entire width of the map. If you maintain due west at the equator, you'd have to walk/swim 40 thousand kilometers. So you have to have a scale that varies with latitude. The top of that scale is accurate at plus or minus 80 degrees latitude. The bottom of that scale is accurate at the equator. It doesn't go all the way to 90 because that would have infinite width.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:35 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm perfectly aware. He was talking about using a ruler though and a simple 1:x scale. Nothing like this sort of projected scale.
I once asked a presenter talking about the colonization of the Americas how long it had taken the first people to cross from Asia into Alaska. He said hundreds, perhaps thousands of years. I was very confused. I mean the Bering Strait is 50 miles across at its narrowest. People hiking the Appalachian Trail do 10 miles in a day. I thought they'd be carrying more baggage, but surely it wouldn't have taken even a month. And how would you survive on a bridge for hundreds of years?
To my mind the bridge was about the size of the Brooklyn Bridge or the Golden Gate. Not manmade of metal obviously, but the link from mainland France to Mont Saint Michel used to be a a tidal causeway, and I was picturing something like that, only a bit wider, much longer, and permanently above sea level. I'd never seen pictures of Beringia, and had no idea this thousand mile wide tract of land was settled, not just crossed.
The question sounds stupid, but we do have multiple cables running underwater across the Atlantic, which before I learned more about how the internet works I never would have imagined.
When we went to Hawaii on vacation, my then high-school-age step-son asked if we were driving. From Illinois. He seriously thought there was a big bridge or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a dumb question. It's from an inquiring mind wondering about something that may be beyond what she's been taught about the world. Please be courteous to young people who ask these types of questions, because your answer could turn them off or on to science and STEM fields.
One time my dad was smuggling a car into Cuba from West Palm Beach by way of The Bahamas (Grand Bahama Island). I asked him why he didn't just take the bridge.
He looked at me for a second and asked: "Why do you think there is a bridge to Cuba?" and I said: "Isn't it the 7 mile one?" *
* - There is a bridge called "7 mile bridge" in the Keys (Marathon), it hosts a yearly foot race that my mother would frequently attend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok everyone. We didn't all point and laugh and call this girl an idiot. I just thought it was kind of silly to think there may be a 3,000 mile long bridge.
To be fair, the idea of having an overland transport between the major continental regions wouldn't be an outrageous idea. Other than the fact that it would be an engineering nightmare, the benefits of such would be fantastic.
One dude tried to jetski from norway to denmark. He ran out of petrol half way there. A ship stopped to help, he asked them to give him some petrol but they had none so they brought him to sweden.
Relevant: it's possible to take a jet ski or even a snow machine (granted you don't stop or have floats mcgyvered on) from nome, Alaska to Russia IF IT WERENT FOR THE LEGAL ASPECT. Otherwise, totally possible.
812many ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, MapQuest or google maps (don't remember which) used to have some joke directions for travel between continents where the driving directions would literally include something like "jet ski accross the Atlantic Ocean for 850 miles".
I mean this is totally possible. If a person can swim the english channel a jet ski could surely cross an ocean given that a boat were following with fuel and they had the proper safety precautions in place to abort if need be.
You can go anywhere on a jet ski if you're brave enough.
derleth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:36 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you get to America from Africa on a Jet Ski?
Sure, but why a Pole would be in Africa is beyond me.
LeftyDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure you can. Presuming you had enough fuel and such.....yet I bet the engine would die before you made it half way. That would be a hell of a trip in the Atlantic.
I was on a cruise through the Caribbean, and the ship stopped to pick up two guys on jet skis (out in the middle of the ocean). they had several extra lawnmower type gas tanks with them, and had traveled from Cuba.
mendel42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you CAN...It would take a lot of money, refueling ships, towing a huge container of food, tools for repair...
This sounds like a stunt that Red Bull should sponsor. I mean they had a guy jump from the friggin stratosphere. Is a transatlantic jet ski trip too much to ask?
I dunno. I think that one is reasonable. Africa and America seem kind of close around Brazil. How far can jet ski's go? I dunno, maybe they can hold enough gas to make it that far. I dunno.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well in the winter you could go over the frozen ice into Russia where you could ride all the way down to the Middle East where I'm pretty sure there is a crossing into Africa
Varboa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't sound that stupid XD if I didn't know how big the ocean was, and I wanted to push the limits of a jet ski then yeah
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl in detention with me, back in high-school, insist that she was going to drive to Italy from the US. We pulled the map down at the front of the class and pointed out the large body of water that's in the way... She showed us her planned route, taking her north through Canada and then up over the margin of the map and then south through Europe. No amount of convincing could sway her. Thankfully I don't think she was ever able to get a license though.
Or if you have ship with lots of extra fuel and food follow you so you can refuel and eat and sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically yes....
You could fashion a little sort of "jet ski trailer" (a towable raft) to tow behind you with food, water, fuel, and a place to sleep. You'd also need to coordinate with other boats to have extra supplies waiting for you on your route. Sleeping would be tough, but you could manage.
The hardest part would be dealing with weather and ocean currents.
It'd take a few weeks to do, but a group has successfully rowed from South Africa to Miami before, so if they could do it a jet-ski could. It took them 5 months to row it though.
One other thing you'd need is testicles the size of the Titanic.
strangea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically yes, if you had the proper provisions and support. Not really a dumb question, imo.
fe360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you really wanted to...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you bring enough gas and food yeah... You'll need to pull a floating trailer to carry it all though...
They are probably asking because of Google maps. There's a couple routes that if it crosses a large body of water it will say, "drive from a to b. Jetski from b to c..."
There was one either from the USA to Japan or Japan to mainland China. But iirc there was a couple that do it.
I love this question for some reason. So let's assume that the North Atlantic Ocean is calm and smooth all the way between New York and the West African Coast (it isn't). Let's also assume the operator of the jet ski doesn't have to sleep or eat/drink or eliminate waste. Using nice round numbers, the distance is ~4500 miles and the top reported speed of a jet ski is ~80mph. 4500 รท 80 = 56.25 hours. Is it possible? Technically maybe. Is it plausible? Definitively nope.
You wouldn't want to even if you had the range. Even a 30-minute ride on a glass-smooth lake is torture.
Hohst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that dumb of a question, IMO. More of a hypothetical. Something you would come across in an xkcd book...
Now I'm interested.
Sooo... I think the only limiting factor would be fuel efficiency. The shortest distance from the US to Africa is 3,154 miles: Maine to Morocco. This also happens to coincide with the gulf stream for a large part, so you've got that going for you. But let's round that up to 3,500, because I don't know anything about currents or boating and I like to err on the side of caution. The average reasonably efficient speed of a jet ski seems to be 50mph, and from my meager research I've seen that 80 miles per fuel tank can be reasonably expected. Now, 3,500miles/50mph = 70 hours. Which is about three days. Let's say you're a bit daft and don't go the right way all the time, or the height difference in waves slows you down. Also, you'll probably need some sleep. Let's make it five. While I wouldn't recommend anyone doing it for fun, it certainly seems possible to survive five days on sea, given some preparation. The real problem is basically the spacecraft problem: How much fuel do you have to carry to propel the fuel you have to carry to propel yourself? Answer: A metric shitton. With a fuel efficiency of around 6 miles per gallon, you're looking at chugging along 583 extra gallons, to the weight of around 4000 pounds, just to propel yourself and the jetski! Too bad. But if you've got friends along the way (or happen to find a hydrogen fueled jetski) it certainly could be doable.
Not a teacher but I once heard a student say "you actually believe in evolution? So you think monkeys just decided not to turn into people?" to another student and the teacher basically looked into the camera like he was on the office, so to speak.
Along with, "If people came monkeys, why are there still monkeys?" to which I reply, "If Americans came from Europeans, why are there still Europeans?"
mygawd ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 19:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what you're saying is, God created Americans as they are and Europeans are a separate species?
I was once one of those people who asked this same question. I am better now. The people that helped the most were the ones that were nice to me even though I was steeped in a cult. The ones that asked me logical questions back helped too. It is hard.
kjata ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:21:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be closer to say "If Americans came from Europe, then why are there still Australians?", but not as illustrative for the kind of people who ask questions like that.
JPOnion ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really makes God look bad from the POV of someone who be believes in both God and evolution.
eljefino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it took a length of time for lifeforms to form the sophistication, ability & intelligence to philosophize, there wasn't anyone there to care about time and record its passing. So it zeros itself out.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU THINK DOGS EVOLVED FROM ROCKS YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT AN INVISIBLE MAN MADE THEM ALL
He already came once, now I'm just waiting on the second coming. He never gives you more than you can handle. (I was raised evangelical Christian, I can do this all day)
To be fair, people who mock religion do the same thing: "I don't understand it so therefore it must be stupid."
severoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What.
eljefino ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:05:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science is a religion and it's frustrating when a scientist denies it. But they have a grand book of rules (scientific method) that explains how they get there, and if someone practices science without following every. one. of. those. rules they get ostracized by their peers and "kicked out of the church." The punchline, when you ask for proof, they either say you have to have faith in the methodology like all the other peers who review the work or, like anything in this universe, it's not ironclad-- it's just a theory.
severoon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science is a religion and it's frustrating when a scientist denies it.
Science is not religion. Science is a means of allowing everyone to make reliable predictions.
Predictive power is what makes science science. It can predict things.
You are under the misapprehension that the purpose of science is to explain things (as religion claims to do, or astrology, etc). That is something that science incidentally happens to do from time to time at a certain level, but it is not the point, it is just a nice side benefit when it happens. But the failure of science to explain everything all the time does not in any way undermine it, as that is not the point of it.
But remember, the main thing that science lets us do, its defining feature, is that we can make predictions about how things will go if we set them up in this or that particular way.
lets be honest here, evolution is just the most plausible theory right now, theres still half-assedly explained gaps that can surely cause some confusion in people who arent trained to accept it. i mean thats really what it is, youre just trained to believe it
hamildub ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:41:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me google that for you.
The basicย theory of evolution: the process by which organisms change over time as a result of changes in heritable physical or behavioral traits.
okay i dont fully stand by my comment here since i left out the alien-human hybrid missing link...that kinda plugs the gap for evolutionary science
you think that different human races are the result of different alien races breeding with earths natural primates?? like word on the street is that aliens are high tech and all but lack emotion and the life experience it brings so thats why they started doing that shit??
hamildub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So close and yet so far. Consider this; you've been "trained to believe" that 2 + 2 = 4. The fact that you were explicitly taught it by someone doesn't make it less true. The same goes for understanding scientific theory (which is not the same as hypothesis) and empiricism. Yes, we have to be trained in understanding scientific theory, the scientific method used in studies, and empirical evidence. That doesn't mean we "believe" them like a religion, it means we were taught about rigorous science just like we were taught that 2 + 2 = 4. And the theory of evolution is rigorous science with overwhelming empirical evidence backing it up. It's intellectually dishonest to frame an understanding of that as "belief".
Aroha11 ยท 442 points ยท Posted at 14:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should answer that one day in the past grey wolves decided (I guess democratically voted) to turn into dachshunds and chichuauas :-)
Yeah like obviously it's ridiculous thing to say. But, in some ways it's exactly what happened. Monkeys getting mutations and other monkey making the good choices to breed with them is exactly where humans came from.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:25:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think a lot of kids just think it works like Pokemon, where the same individual transforms. Explaining the involvement of death is the key.
Of course it wasn't that easy. In the beginning, we were all fish. Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands... and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something...
The student has a lot of company in his mistaken beliefs; over 40% of Americans believe humans were created as they are some time in the not too distant pass. Less than a quarter of Americans accept that animals evolved form common ancestors without the intervention of a supreme being (and people wonder how Trump could be elected president).
I literally can't imagine that 3/4 of the US doesn't think evolution is natural; not meaning to be a dick, but can I get a source on that? Those numbers just sound crazy to me.
AtleeH ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem generally occurs due to a misunderstanding of the difference between evolution and adaption.
AKA butterflies/dogs/cats changing color and size to match the environment, a lot, eventually becoming a completely unrecognizable creature.
Maybe so. But the mechanisms involved that would take a fish to a cat, or a bacteria to a fish, are quite advanced and definitely aren't understood or observable as of yet.
Because they take forever, if they happen.
Keep in mind I have no degree in any of this, so if I'm wrong feel free to inform.
That is exactly what happens. The first life on Earth were single celled organisms. Fossils and other evidence for single celled organisms appear to come from about 3.5 to 4 billion years ago. Multicellular life doesn't evolve to become common on Earth until 2 billion years later, around 1.5 billion years ago. Life doesn't emerge from the oceans until 450 million years ago. There were no trees before 300 million years ago and no flowers until 160 million years ago.
Evolution doesn't need to move in great leaps like fish to cat. It is an accumulation of many many very small and sometimes insignificant changes over very long timescales. A fish from a particular species evolves the ability to breath air for a very short time, which makes it passes on to its offspring. The old species does not disappear. That air breathing fish goes on to evolve the ability to move its fins in certain ways that make it easier to move around in the shallow water where it lives. It passes that onto its offspring. The species of fish which breaths water only and has regular fins does not disappear. This fish which can breath some air and move around a bit in shallow water keeps having offspring which have some more small mutations which let it breath air better, maybe the fins change shape to be a bit longer, some mutations make it less prone to drying out. All the while, the old species continues living on in the water.
Eventually, over the course of thousands and millions of years, this fish starts looking and acting a whole bunch like a salamander. We still have some of those species on Earth today. Mudskippers and lungfish share a common ancestor with the same animals who also evolved into amphibians like frogs and salamanders. We have examples of countless other "missing links" in evolution.
They're no more advanced than people not growing wisdom teeth. It's just that happening millions of times over billions of years. What's unbelievable about that?
wu2ad ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:42:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they take forever, if they happen.
Yes, they take millions and in some cases, billions of years. How old do you think the earth is?
Alched ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand your reasoning, granted I'm a bit high, about the mechanisms not being understood if you just described how the little changes can change one organism into the other. Evolution has no direction, it's how you said micro-changes which are the result of a changing environment, killing of those not capable of surviving, "survival of the fittest." I believe something like 99 percent of all species on this earth have gone extinct. All the creature you see are descendants of species able to somehow survive, maybe even from a single species, so far back. A fish and cat are two organisms that most likely shared a common ancestor, but it looked and behaved like neither.
Now the process of how a chicken descended from dinosaurs can be seen as quite complex to understand it all, but we don't need to. We more or less understand the mechanism it's "evolution" of a population, through these small "adaptations," like you mentioned.
We are able to come up with acceptable theories, based on fossil records, and genetic testing. For example, growing teeth on a beak. Sure scientist make mistakes, politics and even corruptions is present in many fields, but with this issue, peer review leads us to a good enough consensus, and this is how our knowledge and understanding grows. Just look at how paleontologist are discovering dinosaurs with feathers, after we accepted birds to be descendants of dinosaurs, ever so closing the fossil record.
Orisara ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, yes, that's what happens. It's that simple.
But just in case.
Remember that we are a product of our DNA.
Very simplified. Let's say that a human is,
ABCD.
Now. A monkey might be.
ABCC
etc.
Now you know mutations happen in our DNA.
Over time a wolf who was AABB changed into AABC, a dog.
The only way from this point forward evolution is not true is if there is a mechanism in our DNA preventing certain things to mutate.
The amount of birth defects should tell you this is sadly not the case.
As an American, I'd be surprised if even a quarter of the population knew the correct definition of a scientific theory much less accepted the theory of evolution by means of natural selection.
But they also don't WANT to be proven wrong. And therein lies the issue. They're actively making themselves ignore substantial evidence of one of the most widely accepted theories in existence because they're too uncomfortable with the idea of death, and don't want to accept that there's no reason to be alive.
Edit: Because if they accept evolution, they kind of have to believe there isn't a god. (That's their thought process, it seems to be.) And if there is no God, then all the things I just said apply. And they don't want it to be true.
entenkin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just kids repeating what their parents say.
rocco25 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
even sadder when a lot of adults use this exact argument.
My dad asked me this past weekend if I really thought humans came from Monkeys. I couldn't believe it, he's a smart guy. He just didn't understand the concept of a common ancestor. I'm still not sure he really got it. I think he just took my word for it that it was true.
I had a college professor heckle me for "believing in evolution." And few other students in the class thought I was nuts. So I spent a good 30 minutes of a 90 minute class explaining how evolution works, how we have genetic and fossil evidence to support it, how it's the reason we need new flu shots every year, and how it takes a LONG time for larger organisms. To half the class and my professor.
A fellow students then tried to say "dandelions have more genes than us, and they're still plants. Explain that!"
That reminds me of the time we went to see my uncle in Inherit the Wind ). At intermission, my aunt came up to me and said, "So, what's with this evolution thing? It's not real, right? I mean, God created the earth in seven days."
My mouth dropped open, I kinda stammered around a little. I knew the play already - had to read it in school and loved it - so I tried awkwardly to explain the argument about how seven "days" might not have actually been "days" but the room was loud and she just gave me this deer-in-the-headlights stare. Eventually I just said, "Oh, just watch the rest of the play, already!"
She didn't come talk to me about it afterwards, so I don't know if she "got" it or not.
I can't tell if that's a step better or a step worse than, "if evolution is true and we all evolved from monkeys, then went do monkeys still exist right now?"
You all laugh but when I was in middle school, I was talking to a friend about how I don't go to church. Somehow evolution got into the mix and he exclaimed "So you believe we came from monkeys?!" and they entire class laughed. I felt so humiliated, yet oddly surprised and horrified. It was in UT so it's probably a little understandable, but still...
Grew up in a very religious household and was in church and Protestant schools. I get where this kid is coming from. There is a ton of misinformation about evolution being tossed around in church circles.
being brought up in a christian household, at one point, that's what i thought it was. "the animals just thought about being different, that's stupid"..........glad i know better.
We were getting ready for a field trip in a class of about twenty. I make the announcement "we're leaving in about ten minutes - go to the bathroom, fill up your water bottles..."
Everyone is getting ready and standing around and one of my students comes up to me in a panic "excuse me, excuse me! Have we left yet?"
We all look around at everyone standing by the door or by their desks.
"No. No I don't think we've left yet." Good grief!
When reading, "go to the bathroom, fill up your water bottles..." I instantly feared that a student might have filled their water bottle with water from the toilet bowl.
Furt77 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 19:34:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was a little kid my teacher said "x is the greatest invention since the wheel"
and I asked "whats the wheel"
he got really mad and shouted at me for a while because he thought I was taking the piss
I knew what a wheel was but the way he said it just didn't register to my kiddy brain and I instantly assumed he was talking about some completely different thing also called "the wheel"
This one I understand. It's easy for a kid to not think of a wheel as an invented object, but instead just a given shape. Kids don't always easily grasp the idea of the invention of abstract designs. Instead, "invention" might more generally be associated with machinery or semi-complex devices than with the application of a known shape/object.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that dumb at all, it's easy to see how you'd be confused.
Ianskull ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:08:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were at the county fair one year and my son, who was 4 or 5 at the time was watching some 4-H kids herding their show pigs around the arena. They were using these little whips to help steer the pigs. My son asked me what they had in their hands. I told him they were pig whips to which he asked "whats a pig?" We all laughed and so did he, like oh my god! I know what a pig is! Just in a context it sounded like something else.
Kid in my 10th grade biology class takes the cake for me. We were going over chromosomes, talking about the effects of an extra chromosome (Down syndrome), and this kid looks confused as hell, gears turning like mad in his head. Finally he raises his hand.
"With the extra chromosome... shouldn't they be, like... superheroes?"
enviose ยท 285 points ยท Posted at 15:42:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this one
Alarid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:33:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it happened in the Doom movie, right?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:29:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl who sat next to me in grade 9 biology class made this exact comment when we were talking about downs syndrome.
"With the extra chromosome... shouldn't they be, like... superheroes?"
Aw. Kinda, little buddy. Y'know how there's a lot of B-class superheroes in Marvel? Like that guy with the spikes? Well, the real world isn't quite as kind as Stan Lee. There are a lot of unfavourable mutations - like people with congenital heart damage.
I'm not sure if I'd prefer no power so I don't have to feel bad about such a bad power or I'd feel like it's cool that if I REALLY hate someone I can use my one chance to self destruct. Or I guess saving people with it at one point might be cool too.
tylerchu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you think about it from an other perspective. If you didn't already went over the function and all that of chromosomes this might not even be that dumb of a question why an extra chromosome isnt actually something benefical for you. Sure it's a bit strangely formulated, but the question why or what makes the extra chromosome give you a disability instead of a positiv effect isn't that stupid.
Fa6ade ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 16:44:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah if you're in advanced Bio for science majors this would count as a dumb question, for a 10th grader getting an introduction to the subject it seems like a perfectly reasonable question.
I don't even know about that. I have my PhD in chemistry, and while I didn't focus on biochem I did take a couple biochem courses so have better then average knowledge of how molecular biology and the chemistry of genetics works (not as much as an expert of course, but at least on par with "Bio for science majors"). I have no clue why an extra chromosome is a problem.
Cheers. Neither do I. I'm pretty sure I learned at some point that plant DNA is somehow more forgiving of chromosomes being added/subtracted. Now that I think about it that might just be because we can't diagnose Down Syndrome in trees...
Fa6ade ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 18:25:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. The kid was just trying to articulate that adding an extra chromosome would add extra capabilities. I don't think it should be taken literally. At most it's a silly question but not a stupid one in the slightest.
I mean there are plenty of superheroes whose power is just super intelligence. And some people onnthe autism spectrum have an ability to easily learn and conceptualize very complex mental tasks.
Geotan00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's important to point out that if autism was due to an extra or missing chromosome we would know. No one is sure what causes it, and we know how to see how many chromosomes people have.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 16:21:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, that's not a bad question. We are taught that every chromosome controls a trait or whatever, so if the teacher doesn't go into detail, any kid would think that an extra chromosome would mean extra traits or more info for the cellular apparatus to work on or whatever. Well, not superpowers, but yeah.
Source: am a 10th grader who had this question at the beginning of the chapter
Someone in my biology class noticed that the double helix on DNA rotates a certain direction. He (JOKINGLY) asked if it went the other way does that mean the kid has Down syndrome.
So apparently my sister's DNA rotates the opposite way.
I thought this too when I was in Middle school (12ish years old) I actually didn't think it was possible to have an extra one, but if somebody ever did, that's what would happen.
To most kids "more" almost always equals better. So having more chromosomes sounds like you'll get super brain powers or something. Not really a superhero, but maybe super smart. My teacher pretty quickly cleared it up though. 10th grade is a bit late to learn that haha.
Me: "Please sign the attendance sheet, next to your name. Then, pass it along.
(A couple minutes later).
Student calls out:" Everybody's writing letters next to their name! How am I supposed to know what letters to write".
Other student: "Your name! Everyone's writing their names."
They taught cursive at one point in elementary school. I got behind and never ended up catching up, and they stopped the lessons after not too long. Sometimes I have to sign both my signature and my printed name, and it'll look the same in both cases. Occasionally I'll make the "signature" one look more sloppy and connected so it doesn't look like it's the same, but it really is.
gino188 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
daaaaaamn.
evan24jg ยท 627 points ยท Posted at 13:51:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, we were assigned class work in a computer class and another classmate asked if we had to do the class work. The teacher responded: "You know how at the beginning of the course I said there was no such thing as a stupid question? Thats a stupid question."
Not a teacher, but I was in class with someone who asked a really stupid question. This one girl in my physical science class asked why we tore down the 'land bridge' that allowed ancient peoples to travel to America.
sellasbot ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 16:42:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my professors at my university were showing a picture of the United States and one of his students asked him "How do people climb those big walls that go around every state?"
He had to explain that they were just showing where the state borders are on the map.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:13:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents used to teach identical 6th grade science curriculum at two different schools and grade papers at home together. They would read the dumbest answers aloud, one-upping each other until they had a winner. The only answer I remember clearly was to the question, "What is the smallest thing in the universe?" One kid answered, "About the size of two potatoes."
"If you drink too much Gatorade and fill up to here (points at throat), do you drown?"
"You know there's stuff in your body and you're not just a hollow tank, right?"
Not really a question, but an answer to a question. I was teaching a World History course to 10th graders and asked the question "What does A.D. mean?" A couple kids took a shot, but were wrong, and a girl who fit the absolute text book definition of a stereotypical cheerleader raised her hand and answered as confidently as someone would answer that the sky is blue or grass is green with, "After dinosaurs."
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:31:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gino188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The people that run the creationist music want to have a word with you about your mistake...
no..seriously...look it up and be shocked.
tenjuu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:43:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the longest time I thought BC stood for "before christ" and AD meant "after (his) death." And we just didn't keep track of the years while he was moseing around turning stuff into other things, 'cause people were too busy getting down on all the wine, fish and bread he was handing out. Learned the truth in middle school but i'll be damned if I could remember what they actually stand for at 36. :| off to the googlesphere! Oh, and i'm gonna do my own FTFY and say, mosesing
Hence the new, nonreligious terms "BCE" and "CE," which are "Before the Common Era" and "the Common Era." Still focusing around the year Jesus was purportedly born, of course, but rebranded
it isn't accurate. AD should then mean after his dirth or something. LIke most of Tenjuu's post implies- else you have a jesus-sized gap in history. AD means Anno Domini
Growing up, I never heard of BC or AD. My mother wasn't a Christian and didn't want to have the who is Jesus talk with us, so it was always referred to as BCE or CE in my house. When I took World History in high school, I was confused as to what people were talking about when they were saying AD and BC, but I was too shy to speak up and ask. It wasn't until I was fustrated with homework did I go ask my mother who simply told me that it was the Christian way of telling time, when I asked her why, she just shrugged.
Not a teacher but my stepmother was. 3rd grader asked her if there was really a president named Harry Balls. Poor kid got punked hard on that one. We still laugh about it.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:10:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fort Wayne, IN had a mayor named Harry Baals (I think that's how it's spelled). There is even a Harry Baals Memorial Drive.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:15:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They had to rename the street H. W. Baals memorial drive because the sign for it got stolen so much.
Was probably thinking of Harry Baals. Although he was only a mayor, his name is pretty well known because it does sound like Hairy Balls. And I can see a third grader easily conflating offices like mayor, governor and president. The kid was closer to right than most people probably gave him credit for.
At my middle/high school, there was a substitute teacher called Mr. W. His real last name was Wiener, as confirmed by many students who had looked at his substitute badge. So of course the rumor was that his first name was Harry.
We actually had a high school English teacher named Harry Dick Weiner. He would announce it loudly at the start of every quarter, just so kids would get the giggles out of their system.
I'd link his Rate My Teacher page if I didn't think it would violate a Reddit policy or two, but it's the first result when you google the name.
Not a teacher, but I had a girl in a few of my classes in highschool that had some real "wtf?" moments.
1. She once asked our geography teacher how the water got back to the top of a waterfall.
2. When overhearing my friend getting scolded for smoking the teacher had said that his father quit cold turkey. She asked him how his father got addicted to turkey in the first place.
3. In history we were being taught about corporal punishment and the term lashes came up. She didn't understand what was so severe about eye lashes being pulled out.
She was pretty hot.
anschelsc ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 16:18:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She once asked our geography teacher how the water got back to the top of a waterfall.
I mean, a complete understanding of this question arguably requires some serious thinking about thermodynamics. The fact that water flowing downhill is "free" energy confused our civilization for a long time.
I think I meant something more like "spontaneously generated energy". That is, if you don't understand what powers evaporation, it's hard to figure out how all that gravitational potential energy ends up at the top of the waterfall.
Meph514 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah gotcha!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Meph514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:02 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Kinetic_Energy_vs_Potential_Energy
Please see the table.
Here's a break down:
Kinetic Energy: Example: Flowing water, such as when falling from a waterfall.
Potential Energy: Example: Water at the top of a waterfall, before the precipice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:46 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Meph514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:44 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A stickler for semantics aren't we? It was to better illustrate the point. Get off your high horse.
the test. They teach them how to answer the state tests. They teach them 'strategies' to figure out how to answer multiple-choice questions. How best to use their calculator for the math questions, how best to find 'key words' for the reading questions. Stuff like that. You know, rather than actually teach them how to do math and how to actually comprehend what they read.
To be fair, "quitting cold turkey" is an idiom and if you've never heard it before, it wouldn't make sense. Same kinda goes for "lashes" if you've never heard it in the whipping way.
AtleeH ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:56:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In similar fashion, a girl in my grade thought the sun and moon were the same object, just turned around. Another time, going over safety equipment in the science lab, when explaining the fire blanket, "won't that just make you hotter?"
I knew a girl exactly like this in high school. I mean shit she would ask would make people just stop, mouths partway open, and just turn and stare. I wish I could remember some examples (I wish I kept a log) because ohmigawd. She was this girl's long lost twin.
Yawehg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When overhearing my friend getting scolded for smoking the teacher had said that his father quit cold turkey. She asked him how his father got addicted to turkey in the first place.
That's a dumb blonde joke playing out in real life. I'm gonna think she was in on it.
Shuk247 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:26 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GA
m3r3d1th_ ยท 1696 points ยท Posted at 11:40:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a girl in my class was convinced that Saturn was the biggest planet in the solar system. She asked the teacher and the teacher said that Jupiter was the biggest. This girl then proceeded to insist she was correct and wouldn't look at any charts we should her. A real piece of work, that one..
That's better than just not knowing your planets. I was on a high school academic team and ended up being the only one in a room of idiots that knew more than three planets. Not to mention the order of them.
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 12:11:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh I still can't remember the order from inner to outer, but I can remember them from smallest to biggest.
Mark Made VENUS Jump (Mercury Mars Venus Earth Neptune Uranus Saturn Jupiterj
DaniK094 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I were just talking about Pluto no longer being a planet the other day after I saw the article about a "new" planet that is expected to be discovered in our solar system in the next 10-20 years (I saw the article on Reddit). I have a 3 year old daughter and I said to SO "What acronym will Grace learn?? hm...My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us...Nothing!" momentarily excited I was so clever followed by "I guess mom is kind of a bitch..."
This is the one I learned too. Now I hear the kids learn "My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nachos" since Pluto is no longer considered a planet.
For most people, it's useless information that will never get used, so remembering it isn't terribly easy for the average person.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered the planets as a kid because of a spaghetti commercial they were airing in my country (it was in Spanish). almost a decade later I still fucking sing that shit in my head. I can't believe capitalism taught me about the solar system.
I learned Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto... I never had any cool easy things to remember. My teachers were all old and didn't care and just told us to read the textbook and then we had a test over what we were supposed to learn.
I always preferred "Mother Very Thoughtfully Made A Jelly Sandwich Under No Protest", with the 'A' being the asteroid belt ('T' is for Terra, or Earth).
I learned this too, but the ending was "just sat upon nine pizzas". It feels weird that no one else has mentioned this variation, especially since the visual is fantastic.
Many Vile Earthlings Munch Jam Sandwiches Under Newspaper Piles. Learnt that when I was 5 (it was all around the inside of our classroom wall) and now I am doing my PhD in astrophysics!
Okay, you learned some facts by rote. Why is this a source of pride? If you understand facts about the solar system then the sequence of the planets follows. The order that the planets are in, by itself, is virtually useless information.
MRAGGGAN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..... I'm not sure if this is a pizzagate comment because I'm fairly new to Reddit and literally just finished reading up about it.
And now I'm a little fucking concerned that people will think I mean fucking children, when I really just mean that I want Pluto back because Ohana means family!
(I seriously need to gtfo Reddit.)
Seriously though wtf is pizzagate?
Edit: oHaNa, not Obama, although TBF it still works.
Cheese Pizza is a euphemism for child pornography. It's been for years and years, but more on places like 4chan's /b/ board where there were problems with people posting it in the past.
MRAGGGAN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have access to cable or shit like that, and I was absolutely uninterested in all the EMAILS EMAILS scandals. Unless someone was gonna come out and say "here is incontrovertible evidence" I ignored it.
So this pizzagate shit really just fucked me up.
I ventured on 4chan twice ever as an early teen, then noped the fuck right back out, each time. (Plus it had a shitty design to me.)
T_D, some how got a pizzagate Brian Swan (???) video into r/all so I thought, "I keep seeing pizzagate everywhere, let's research"
Bad idea. Bad fucking idea.
Although now I'm convinced everyone who believes this shit needs to be locked up in psych ward.
By the way. Who the fuck decided to ruin the sanctities of pizza by using for child porn?!?!?
I love literal cheese pizza. It's the only kind I get, usually. Fuck those people.
It's just because child porn and cheese pizza begin with the same letters, CP (which is also commonly used to refer to child porn as an acronym).
MRAGGGAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm even more sad now.
Zarokima ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:32:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Resistors: none I care for
Oh come on! I know that "black boys rape our young girls but Violet gives willingly" is horribly un-PC, but that just makes it all the more memorable, which is the whole point of a mnemonic. Plus there are 3 Bs and making it racist means you don't have to remember that the first one is for "black".
marl6894 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:48:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's one I'll never forget, but probably also never teach to anybody else.
ruslan40 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:25:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's funny is that I actually learned this in my sophomore year of high school. Our electronics teacher was very "eccentric" and our whole class only had two girls (who were both more "one of the guys" anyway).
That guy was something; he was as fit to be a teacher as Trump was to be president. Fun times though!
To his credit, he was decent enough to slightly change the mnemonic to be "bad boys ravage our young girls, but Violet gives willingly"
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:29:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Notice that it says "none that I care for." Which means that Randall (the author of the comic) doesn't care for that one. Given its violent and politically incorrect nature, is it really that unreasonable for him to dislike it and not want to include it in his comic?
Zarokima ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whole idea is that a mnemonic makes it easier to remember. You're not going to forget the racist rape one, because that's horrible, which is great for the very purpose it's supposed to serve. The alternatives Randall presents are just word salad, and so are not really fit for purpose.
The Katy Perry orgasm one is a good alternative, though, because of how uncouth and absurd (without delving towards being meaningless like his resistor ones) it is, which is better than the only mildly improper traditional one.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:58:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it wasn't easy to remember, I didn't say it wasn't useful, and I didn't say that Randall's alternative was easy to remember. (Personally, I don't remember any mnemonics for it, I just remember black-brown-rainbow-grey-white, which I think is easy enough, but that's just me.)
What I'm saying is that Randall is probably very aware of it, but this is a webcomic; it's supposed to be entertaining, more than useful or educational. And the dark resistor mnemonic doesn't really match the humour style xkcd at all, so it doesn't really belong in the comic. It may be useful, but that's not the point. So I think it's perfectly reasonable for him to leave it out of his comic.
And I definitely agree on the Katy Perry one. I even use it! I also use the "Karl Marx Gave..." and "Microsoft Made No..." ones.
Edit: I accidentally a a word.
Zarokima ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I can't believe I never noticed the middle chunk of colors were the same as the rainbow. I'm retarded.
SinkTube ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:49:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes. being violent and un-PC should make it more likable, not less
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good question. That really only affects the traditional one (since the new one came after Pluto's reclassification), so replace "nachos" with "nine pizzas", or something to that effect.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:22:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mary's Virgin Excuse Made Joseph Suspect Upstairs Neighbour' Penis
Pluto is a planet
Omega357 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why it bugs me when people complain about how education is "just about memorisation". Not that I'm little lord fuckpants or anything but the reason I know the order and relative sizes of the planets is because I know a little about each one, and that slots into the bigger picture. Mercury is small and very hot since it's so close to the sun, Venus is between Earth (the "third rock from the sun") and despite being a very similar size to Earth (they used to regard Venus as something of a "twin planet") it's very hostile. Then there's Earth, then Mars etc.
Not really much rote memorisation goes into it, just retaining a few easy details and then it all slots in.
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:05 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mnemonics in general piss me off. Like, why even bother at that point when you can just Google?
winch25 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:24:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even easier is to not bother learning because if you need to know you can do a google search.
goh13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even easier if you can take control of Germany by false elections and then invade Poland and burn the minorities.
My very educated mother just sent us nine pizzas is how I learned it.
h3lblad3 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:13:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught the order by my mother who would repeat a rhyme that went:
Mercury, Venus, the Earth, and Mars,
There are the planets that dwell near the stars.
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, too,
Neptune and Pluto, I know them, do you?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Mercury to get to Venus, but how on Earth am I supposed to get to Mars? Jumping Jupiter, Saturn's sale is Saturday! Uranus said that Neptune's selling Pluto's cars.
Airway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I memorized it because of that one scene in Drake and Josh where Josh recites the planets, in order, for a radio contest.
Mon Vieux Tu M'as Jetรฉ Sur Une Nouvelle Planรจte (learned it in French). Bonus with that one is the " 'as " is where the asteroid belt is (between Mars and Jupiter).
Toraden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets (yes Pluto is a planet you fucks!)
Tesatire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never learned size order, I learned alignment order. Just taught my son my ridiculous half-baked phrase. They didn't teach that to my kid yet, I don't know if it's not currently part of the curriculum anymore or what.
Mom Vomits Every Morning Just So Ursula Never Pluto (my eldest sister was pregnant at the time and helped me make it up but we couldn't come up with a PG P word so i always just aid pluto and it made me laugh).
wurm2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember it as Men Plan Many V.E.N.U.S. Jumps. back then Pluto was a planet but also using men instead of mark helps tell mercury and mars apart (MEn for MErcury and MAny for MArs)
I'm irrationally angry that your acrostic doesn't have Pluto in it.
Orisi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I learnt it was My Very Easy Method Just Sums Up Nine Planets. Obviously Pluto is now a dwarf planet but the fact that it refers to planets helps me remember the mnemonic for it.
rylaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned (well, remember) the order of the planets from an episode of Saved By the Bell. Screech used the first letter of every planet in order from the sun to make a single word. MVEMJSUNP. For some reason, this mumble of a word stuck with me more than any mothers serving pizzas ever did.
LeodFitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just remember that the last three, in order, spell SUN. Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.
You guys are giving me nostalgia. I used to love Drake and Josh.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:50:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's my nearly annual pitch then:
Drake & Helen. With Josh living life like a normal adult, Megan adopting an alternate personality and living with crazy steve, Drake's band has failed. He's a one hit wonder. He struggles to find work. He's in massive debt and has had a few DUI's.
He needs a place to live, he needs a roommate while he gets his life together. In comes the ultimate Odd Couple - Drake and Helen.
This is why I can't understand why anyone can't name all 50 states. My school can't be the only one that made us learn 50 Nifty United States. It's practically the only thing I remember from elementary school, and it still randomly pops into my head all the time (in my 30's now).
catsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, not knowing something is better than refusing to learn.
immauser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a LOT worse than just not knowing them. When told she was incorrect, she flat out refused to look at anything that proved her wrong. Someone should keep her off Twitter.
It's definitely not better. It sounds like NPD to me.
Armienn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it isn't. Not knowing something is definitely better than actively denying new knowledge.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ex, at 38, I might add, believed that Mars was the closest planet to the sun and Mercury was 4th. I pulled out many internet based sources from reputable sources (we were out at the time) saying the truth and he still said that I was wrong and he was right.
I was taught 'Many Vile Earthlings Munch Jam Sandwiches Under Newspaper Piles' to remember the planets... guess it would just be under newspaper now :(
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 11:43:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher
Excuse you....
convinced that Saturn was the biggest planet in the solar system.
Ok I forgive you.
imhotep4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little (~5 years old) I used to think that Jupiter was bigger than the Sun, and it took a lot of convincing from my family to get me to believe otherwise.
This reminds me of a girl that was in my class back in elementary school.
She had a lot of ideas about things and would not accept being told she was wrong.
One example that stuck in my mind was when we were learning about different kinds of animals (I think this was probably 1st grade) and the teacher brings out some pictures of animals to see if we could identify them.
The first couple pictures were alright. Cow, horse, chicken, exc. But then we got to a picture of a fish and she went off.
"Fish aren't animals!" She insisted.
"Ok, then what are they?" Asked the teacher.
"They're reptiles. Fish, frogs, and reptiles are all reptiles. Not animals."
She was so stubborn that once she started on like that there was no point trying to argue. When she got like this the teacher just let her doodle in her notebook so that class could continue until we moved on to the next topic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was maybe 8 or so, I was very much into Space, and I was writing a little book about it. I was at my grandma's, and she insisted that Neptune came before Uranus. She just didn't believe that it was the other way around, so she said "Let's look.", and she got an astronomy book off her shelf. When she was proven wrong, she accepted it, though she was still a bit pissy about the whole thing. At least she listened.
We have this struggle with out 9 yo who things she's always right. If you try to explain the math or the question and why she's wrong she'll just say that's how the teacher explained it and she's right. >.>
When I was in Grade 8 I had to convince the teacher that the moon did rotate on it's axis. She thought it didn't since we always see the same side of it.
That's funny because I actually had a teacher that messed up the order of the planets. I wasn't actually sure about the order but I was fairly confident I had them right. Luckily for me I had a folder that showed the order of them and it turned out that I was right. The teacher still tried to deny the correct order even after that proof. This was in 8th grade btw.
Yawehg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is the widest if you count ring diameter, maybe that's how she was thinking?
It's funny cause not knowing Jupiter is the biggest planet isn't that big of a deal. Insisting in your error, though, makes you look like a total dumbass...
Not a teacher but a kid in my class asked me what the time was, i pointed to the analogue clock on the wall (cause i was busy), he said 'I dont know how to tell that time'. This was 2 years ago and he was 15.
My kid has been struggling to learn analog time. She is in third grade and they started teaching it months ago. I couldn't figure out why she was having a hard time until I actually looked at the clocks in her school. All the cloths are digital, and they are all wrong! So, I bought an analog clock for our living room and she is doing a little better with it now. I didn't think about the fact that she never uses an analog clock, so how can she learn it?
ebc ยท 980 points ยท Posted at 14:42:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another good solution to this is to buy your daughter an analog watch that she really loves. It's excellent motivation. I had a really rough time with it but my parents bought me a Sailor Moon watch, it really helped a lot. My sister got a Minnie Mouse one. Also keep in mind that difficulty reading an analog clock can be a sign of dyscalculia so keep an eye out for other tells like the inability to tell left from right, difficulty when trying to subitize objects and obviously difficulty with math. It turned out my issues with analog time was a symptom of this so it took until my teen years to get it entirely right but the sooner you know about disabilities then the easier it is to learn!
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:26:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would one get tested for dyscalculia? I'm 25 years old and I still have problems telling my left from my right. And I just used a calculator not too long ago to do simple math. And I've always had issues with analog clocks. I've always assumed it was just another side effect of having ADD (which I have been diagnosed with)-like my mind wanders too much for me to get a good grasp on stuff.
Can't tell my right from my left. Embarrassingly, I recently mislabelled items on a work document (saying that the thing on the left was on the right and the thing on the right was on the left - mortifying). The only way I can remember is by thinking of what hand I use to write with. When giving directions, I just throw my hand in the direction I want the driver to go because I can't think of the word.
It took me until I was in High School to properly read an analog clock. Sometimes I still get confused.
Can't do simple math. I was fine with more complex math, oddly enough. And I was exceptional in writing and literature classes, but in math I am squarely in the slightly stupid sector.
I also have ADHD.
HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THIS BEFORE???
Lylohcat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:16:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually really common for people to be exceptional at literature based subjects when they have dyscalculia
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did well in writing and literature classes, too! Are you my clone?
ebc ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:35:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting fact! A quarter of folks with Dyscalculia also have ADHD! So it might be the case that the ADHD is a side effect of the Dyscalculia (if you do end up having it.) Or maybe the two just sort of go hand in hand, or maybe we're getting misdiagnosed, we don't really know yet. As far as getting tested, that really depends on where you are and what your resources are. I was diagnosed while I was in school and at the time in my region student testing was done for free by the schools. I know that's not the case around here anymore. If I were you I'd look into how folks get tested for other learning disabilities around you and go from there. I really can't tell you how it work since it varies so much region by region. I will tell you though that unless you're still a student there may not be much reason to get tested for it. There isn't much that can be done to treat it except that it brings out more understanding and patience in yourself, peers and teachers.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:46:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the information. Since there's not much help to treat it, I guess there's no point in getting tested. Hell the meds I took for my ADD didn't even help.
ebc ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:52:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the meds didn't work for you because you were misdiagnosed with ADD when your actual issue is Dyscalculia? It's very easy to make mistakes with the sort of disorder testing we use now and Dyscalculia is a very under represented issue although that's starting to change. I don't want you to take this as any sort of medical advice, I'm not a doctor or an educational professional. It's just something to think about that's all.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:58:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I'm like the poster child of ADD. Can't focus. Lose things I set down two seconds before. Change subjects very frequently. Forget what I was saying in the middle of a sentence. I've had to start movies over so many times because I'd get distracted and walked away while it was still playing...
But you're right, it is something to look into. If it could help me in any way, it would be a big step from what I've already tried.
ebc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:15:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's okay! You can have both. I have them both too! And we can still be very successful with them! The trick is being patient with yourself. I've always found that panic, shame and anxiety in the face of my short comings only make it worse. When I'm presented with math problems I take a deep breath, explain to others why I'm taking so long and just do my best. If time is a factor then it's okay to be open, honest and ask for help!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Patience has never been one of my strong suits haha. Probably a big negative factor in helping myself stay focused. I've been really trying, though. Especially with having a two year old daughter. She's been a big help with forcing me to deal with my problems rather than ignoring them.
This is blowing my mind. I've never heard of this but it sure sounds like me. I'm in my mid-twenties and can barely do simple addition/subtraction, sometimes confuse left and right (as well as east and west to the point I have had to write it on post-its). In high school I was in all AP classes...except for remedial math. I got 800s on the SAT...except for math, which I got something on Forrest Gump levels, like a 300. I worked as a bartender to pay for college and almost got fired multiple times for making the wrong change. What is extra weird is that I speak a foreign language fluently, but cannot remember the words for numbers in that language and struggle with translating anything numerical. I worked as a translator for awhile and my boss would get upset when I would take too long to translate/interpret things like "49" or even the current year!
I have never understood why math was so, so difficult for me and have always felt ashamed. If only I had known about this sooner!
ebc ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:04:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you are still have issues in your professional life it may be a good idea to get tested. Depending on where you are it may not be legal for someone to fire or reprimand you for a documented learning disability. I got extraordinarily lucky with my diagnosis, I'm in the same age range as you and when we were in school it was pretty much unheard of, however I went to an exceptional school with exceptional teachers and support staff that recognized my issue was real and having a damaging affect on my life despite my proficiency in other subjects. None of them had experience with this before but sent away for the testing kits, (sort of like a standardize test) and consulted with a professional from another area of the country. Since that time awareness has increased dramatically and understanding is growing in leaps and bounds.
Fortunately I don't have to do any math in my career, so that's not likely to be an issue. And I have systems/apps in place for things like personal budgeting, taxes, calculating tips, etc. But I am curious about this; where would I get tested?
ebc ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:11:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That totally depends on your region and resources. The same place that would test for things like ADHD, Dyslexia and Dysgraphia and other learning disabilities near you would be the place to look.
This isn't a thing I know about, so I'm genuinely interested. If they test you and say "yep, you're an adult and you have this issue," what happens next? Do you just feel better because you get why math has always been such a struggle for you, or is there some kind of training you can get that's tailored to help with the problem?
sorator ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:18:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure there are coping mechanisms that they can suggest. Getting diagnosed would also let you claim ADA protections if need be. That doesn't mean you can keep a job you aren't capable of doing, but it can get you reasonable accommodations. I can't think of any specific examples of that for dyscalculia (maybe ability to use a calculator in situations you otherwise might not be allowed to?), but I expect it could be useful in some positions.
ebc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an excellent question and honestly I'm not sure, I was diagnosed in school years and years ago and everything to do with the disorder has evolved so much. I was certainly given resources and alternative tests and coping mechanisms but I have no idea at all what would be done for an adult.
Possibly cognitive behavioural therapy to manage patterns that were causing problems, also coping mechanisms, and likely helping to work out any frustration/inadequacy feelings they had as a result of growing up / coping with their condition.
Lylohcat ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:43:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is exactly how I felt! All my life I was in advanced classes, except for math. I'd meet with a math tutor for an hour a day every single day and still fail every single math test. In literature however, I was helping lead the class and getting A's on everything. It was so frustrating to have my perfect English score be ruined by dismal my math score on my ACT. I am so frustrated no one thought to test me for a disability when it was so apparent. So many people just think math is 'hard.' They normalized this intense mental block I had.
I have this and have a hard time with arithmetic and reading clocks, but once I got into math that was more symbols I did OK for the most part. I mean, I had to be really careful adding like x+3x sometimes, but integrals and stuff we're relatively easy. When I've graded for physics classes, I always had to add the total twice in the calculator to make sure I didn't fuck it up, though >.>
Are you a woman by any chance? I wonder if the stereotype of girls being bad at math might have blinded people to the fact that struggling so intensely with numbers and acing everything else isn't normal.
Lylohcat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am actually. Yeah, a lot of the issues I have because of it were just passed off as normal. I struggle a lot of directions as well. People always just said, "Oh well I get lost all the time too!" or "Math is hard for everyone." I don't think people understood the extent to which I was trying. I mean I've had people say that they think have dyscalia when they just finished saying they got an A in geometry or some other Math, when I have tested at the 5th grade level after numerous years of every day math tutoring. It's hard for people to understand that I don't just struggle, I can't do it. Again with directions, people often just dismiss it. Meanwhile, I can get lost going to where I've lived for 17 years.
Do you have trouble recognizing people, especially if they dress unusually or change/dye their hair? Its one of the more fascinating side effects of my dyscalculia. I learned to look for identifying marks, hair, mode of dress, and other things I can hopefully use to identify someone before they catch on that I can't recognize them.
For example, two of my cousins are 'bland'- they just don't have anything that makes them stand out much to me. They are both objectively physically attractive, and most people say they don't look much alike at all. If you dyed their hair and put them in identical clothes, there is a good chance I wouldn't be able to tell you which was which just by looking. Cousin A has a slightly sharper chin, while B has bigger ears. B stands straighter than A, usually. I still remember everything I know about A & B, I just can't identify them without clues.
YES! My friends joke that I am "face blind", although I remember names easily. In college, my boyfriend of several months and I had a dramatic breakup. The next week, I was in the university gym working out and a guy walks into the weight room and looks at me. I think to myself, "Wow, that guy looks just like [ex-bf], but with a beard. Weird!" and continue working out without acknowledging the bearded dude.
Of course, it was the ex. He had just grown a beard. He told all his friends I had coldly ignored him at the gym. Variations of this happen to me all the time.
Its not one of those high profile conditions, like dyslexia or sexlexia
Lylohcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my goodness totally! My sister used to tease me because I always said random people looked like other people we knew. She'd always say I was nuts. When I got diagnosed and read that symptom I was totally vindicated. .
I work in a long term stay hospital, and when the patients change clothes at night it's chaos trying to remeber which one is which.
I'm a Computer Science major / Mathematics minor in college. While taking discreet math I managed to fail to count to 12 three times. On the same test. I looked back at the test and was confused why I had such a bad score, then I see 12! = 1234567891012. I had dropped 11 in every case. I was just like "wtf", I have no idea how I missed that.
WOAH WHAT THE FUCK. What can I do to help this? I was going to get left and right tattooed on my hands lol
ebc ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:41:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience there isn't much you can do to treat it. (If you do end up having it) If you're still a student it's extremely beneficial to know since it really affects the ways you can learn and you may require more patience and understanding from teachers. If you're out of the education environment then all you can do is learn to be patient with yourself, which helps reduce the anxiety involved since it's not really something you can control. From there everyone develops their own coping techniques. Maybe tattoos are yours :)
There are some ways you can train your brain. Most of it seems to be alternative methods for learning stuff, or finding ways that your brain can remember something.
If you hold up your hands, palm out, facing away from you, your left hand makes an L shape, for LEFT. I sometimes have to point left or right at work, and I'll almost always subconsciously do the L gesture, then point.
For directions, I do better using a 360 degree compass. North is 0/360, East is 90 degrees, South is 180, West is 270. Coincidentally, holding your Left hand up in the L position mimics a compass rose pretty well. Index finger for north, thumb for east.
I usually have to physically turn a map so its facing the direction I'm going, to get turns right. Or having the robot voice tell me 'turn left in x feet' so I can do my ever useful L gesture.
Or when I was trying to get a mechanism that you had to turn the dial up or down to change the angle of a nozzle, I couldn't get the up/down thing until my instructor changed it to 'pull the dial towards you to pull up the nozzle, push the dial away from you to push down the nozzle'
nozzle is a funny word.
'bed' can be used to tell which way letters go. b is the head of the bed and points right, e is excellent, and d is the foot of the bed and points left.
If you find something you think will work, practice it a few times.
Woah thanks for the answer! I think I do most of these things. In high school, my math was always wrong but done right and the teacher had to change how I took my tests, because she knew the work was right. I've been meaning to get a compass.
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The magnetic kind or the circle drawing kind?
I am aware of the sun's location in the sky and about what time of day it is. The half of the sky with the sun in it is south, where the morning sun is in the east half of the south side of the sky, etc. So if the sun is over my shoulder, I'm facing north.
I have no idea if that is how anyone else thinks, and don't know if it helps you. Only the middle of summer is hard to guess north.
Hold up your hands, palms facing away from you and fingers together. Then move your thumbs away from your fingers until you make an 'L' shape with your index fingers and thumbs.
The hand that is making a correct 'L' is your Left, the one with a backwards L is your right. It's not ideal but is probably better than getting 2 tattoos...
I remember my mom wouldn't let me get a digital watch until I could tell time on an analog clock. But once I learned, she'd buy me one. Talk about motivation!
When I was in high school and college I had a lot of boring classes! I had an analog watch, but without the numbers, only 4 sticks for 12, 3, 6 and 9. And without the arrow for the seconds. It somehow made the time goes faster when I only knew approximately what time it was.
I just bought an digital clock to put above the tv cause I couldn't stand watching tv and not knowing what time it was. I regret it now, because I am only focused on how much time I waste watching tv.
lfantine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool word. Like not having to count the spots on the dice. I think five is my limit unless organized like the six. Two groups of three is simple. So two fours is eight. Two fives I have to do quick math.
I may not be very good at mathematical thinking.
ebc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I may be wrong since I only know how my own brain works but I think you're doing it the normal way. The idea that you can look at a scattering of ten objects and "do quick math" sometimes with out even realizing or acknowledging that you're doing it is normal. However that would be out of my skill set. I can't do even basic addition in my head so whenever I'm in a situation where that sort of quick basic math that you do without noticing is called for then my whole brain completely slams to a stop. I have some basic addition memorized however the amount of that I can do is pretty limited because even thinking of the concept of the number is very static-y and intangible, it's very difficult for my mind to hold on to if that makes sense. Thinking of a number (any of them) sort of feels like trying to find that word that's on the tip of your tongue, you know what I mean? Now my case is actually a fairly severe one. Some people with Dyscalculia do fine with the very basics.
even thinking of the concept of the number is very static-y and intangible, it's very difficult for my mind to hold on to if that makes sense.
I am holding back tears right now because I have always felt this way about numbers and it's the first time I've heard anyone else describe it. I've been so embarrassed about it for a long time and it never occurred to me it might be a learning disorder.
ebc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm happy I may have helped and I'm very sorry that you've been living with embarrassment. I hope you know that diagnosis or not some people are just not good at math and that's okay. No one can be good at everything and I know there are things that you are good at so just try and let go of the shame. Then you can move on and just be great at the things that are meant for you.
Lylohcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the same feeling when I finally figured out that I wasn't stupid, just my brain was different. I'm glad that you feel better. PM me if you ever want to talk about it.
lfantine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can easily tell if it's a group of even or odd, under ten. Then I split the groups in twos and threes or something like that.
Our brains are so interesting. It amazes me that the brain can do vectors and trajectories in a flash so we can catch a ball. Unbelievable really.
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're so right! Even those of us with slightly wonky brains still have such incredible power rattling around our skulls!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That must be rough. I'm glad to hear you're medication is helpful! You're absolutely right, thank god for medication, and thank god for everyone out there who sees affected people and instead of just saying "They're weird" they say "I wonder why they're weird."
I couldn't read analog clocks for years and I still have difficulty with left and right. I was also always terrible at math compared to other subjects.
I found out about dyscalculia in college and was shocked because it sounded just like me (I think I had a mild enough case and was able to get by, but still.)
I called my mom up and excitedly told her and her reaction was basically "uh-huh yeah sure."
:(
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't have to deal with the difficulties that you did so it was probably a non-issue for her, which is good because it means you did a great job coping!
Well, she knows I'm bad at math and we had a lot of frustrations with it when I was a kid.
She just blames bad math teachers (which is true) and lack of motivation in math and I think because I'm smart in other areas she doesn't want to admit I might have a learning disability.
It's understandable but still frustrating. Oh well though, not much I can do about it now really haha.
Lylohcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This warms my heart. I struggled so much with this as a kid, and my parents (who are as kind hearted as they come) teased me so much. They just couldn't figure out why it was so hard. When I finally got diagnosed with this it was a weight off my shoulders. I wish more people knew about it, none of my teachers flagged it when I literally had every symptom. Thanks for spreading awareness.
I am so upset that this is the first time I've heard of dyscalculia, I've spent my entire life thinking I was just an idiot when it comes to math!
ebc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being diagnosed does so much to alleviate the shame involved with an inability to do math. Once you learn not to be embarrassed then you can get to work learning how to make your skill level and you abilities work for you. If you don't want to go through all of the trouble of being diagnosed then maybe all you need is to hear someone say your lack of natural mathematical proficiency is not your fault. Everyone has things they are good at, math isn't one of yours and that's okay. All you can do is move forward with the skills you have and find the best way for you to be the best version of you.
I've had people tell me things like dyscalculia and dysgraphia are not real and that I'm just trying to belittle dyslexic people by asserting my dysgraphia. All three of those issues lie in the same vein, difficulties processing written information, be it numbers or letters. For dysgraphia I have to deal with completely misinterpreting different words and it can effect my speech as well with a stutter (Not to mention I had a lot of difficulty reading even the simplest books until I was about thirteen.) Like I might read a book and it says chair. My brain will register it as say hair because it rhymes or even sit because it's an action I inherently associate with chair. Like my brain for some reason sees the word as an anomaly I have never seen and so just slaps what ever it thinks is the closest, best interpretation of the word I'm viewing. Causes endless rereading of sentences and can make me seem like I am speaking gibberish when I start stuttering out random words. Luckily have i handle for the most part on the speaking issue but it still rears its head when I'm stressed or super rushed.
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dysgraphia is very real and it must suck a lot to have! I hope you're in an area where you can get lots of help and have resources with it come to education. Anyone who tells you it's not real is a misinformed asshole! People tell me all the time that learning disabilities aren't real, if they are respectful in their comments I'll do my best to educate them, but if not then fuck 'em, I've got more important shit to worry about.
For anyone else who this is new for. I love a day when I discover something new to me.
Some people feel ashamed for not knowing something they feel they ought to have known. But you can't know what you've never learned! I teach. Accepting that new knowledge is not freighted with shame is essential for the courage to accept and seek education.
Kylynara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 36, I've been wearing an analog watch pretty much daily since I started high school and probably earlier than that. I still suck at it. I can do it, but I have to stop and think. I can't just glance at my watch and tell you the time. I can however glance at it and tell you I have about 15 minutes until I need to leave at 11:25, which is a bit harder to do with digital.
gkryo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I learned military time. I put all of my clocks on 24 hour so I'd be forced to deal with it.
I have dyscalculia as well as dyslexia, and this is was absolutely a problem growing up. Especially telling left from right. I still mix that up sometimes.
tastar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just make sure you don't get them a watch they like too much, otherwise they'll up into the rabbit hole of 4 figure Seikos, 5 figure APs and 6 figure Pateks.
My first watch was this. I got really good at recognizing the time just based on the positions of the hands because of the lack of numbers.
For those not aware, "subitize" refers to the ability to figure out how many of something there are without actually counting them. Usually when there's a small number of something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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ebc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was diagnosed as a child so it was a very important part of my life. However if you are out of the education environment then I don't know how useful a diagnosis would be to you. If you are still a student or plan to go back to school or have been struggling and facing reprimand at work then please get tested as soon as you can and you may end up being provided with resources that could really help you!
EDIT: I should mention that there is no cure or medication to "fix" the issue.
Hey, how do you diagnose dyscalculia? I have all of those symptoms and people think that the way I think about math is strange. I've made it work though (STEM field, advanced Maths, all that) but it would be interesting to know if that's why I struggled so much.
Trouble reading an analog clock, trouble with math (I haven't learned anything beyond multiplication and division, but that mostly means I know what the concepts are; that doesn't mean I can actually do them, unless I draw a lot of dots or use physical items), and can't tell left from right describe me perfectly... My mom still makes fun of me...
Huh! I dated a guy in 9th grade who couldn't read an analog clock and had to do the L thing with his thumb and pointer fingers to tell left from right. I dumped him because he was an ass, and I honestly thought he was dumb as a brick. He also failed math classes more than once throughout school. Now I feel like a douche, but that was over a decade ago so I'm not too shook up about it. Still, TIL.
I grew up when there were NO digital clocks... I was in 5th grade before I totally understood how to tell time. When the arrows were close together and in between the numbers threw me off.
Rixxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All these symptoms apply to me. What can I do about it?
ebc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That entirely depends on where you are and what your resources are. You'd have to research the places near you that diagnose learning disabilities. However there is no cure and no medication . Only coping mechanisms.
difficulty reading an analog clock can be a sign of dyscalculia so keep an eye out for other tells like the inability to tell left from right, difficulty when trying to subitize objects and obviously difficulty with math.
How did I not know this was a thing? I think I have it.
I'd literally never heard of dyscalculia before. I'm apparently pretty good at mental math, but my wife's not so great at math and that's hard for me to understand. Thank you for mentioning this disorder so I can now prepare for it if our children should present symptoms.
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very happy I may have helped! My father and I occasionally had a strained relationship before diagnosis because he is excellent at math and didn't understand that I was not just being lazy. If your children do present with symptoms don't worry too much, the disorder is not a persistent one in all people who are diagnosed! Many Children out grow it the same way many out grow ADHD. However lots of us have it our whole lives which is fine too. You can be successful with out math. I'm doing very well for myself!
illirica ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:38:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's really sad. They started teaching basic analog time in kindergarten at my daughter's school (just hour and quarter-hours), and then did a full unit on analog in first grade. Waiting until third grade seems like way too long.
Keeping an analog clock in the home is a great idea. For my daughter, we bought an analog clock for her room after she asked for one, and try to refer to it fairly often, e.g. "We need to leave at 9:30. What time is it now? 9:10, great. So, how many minutes until we leave?" etc.
My 6 yr old asked me the other day for a watch of his own. But he doesn't want a digital one. When asked why he pointed to the analog clock on our wall and said " What if I am somewhere and all they have is clocks like that? How am I 'possed to know what time it is?" He's a smart little cookie.
His 12 yr old brother...well, lets just say we are still working to find his strong points.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best part of school was trying to figure out what time zone you're in so you can figure out when you can leave. Some teachers were cool and just brought their own clocks out of frustration.
If I asked my daughter what time she goes to lunch, she couldn't tell me because every single clock is wrong. Expect the one if the office where parents sign in and out. They just get off time or the batteries die and nobody bothers to fix it.
wasniahC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:23 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, just as literal as that? What the hell, don't they have any custodial staff? Just on top of the educational issues..
In the teaching world (at least in language teaching), we call this "input". You have to be exposed to it fucktons before you begin to get it and "produce".
It's great that you got an analog for the kid to learn from.
Of course I can't find any mention of it right now, but I could have sworn I saw a study where telling time on analog was faster than digital.
Your brain doesn't have to decode the numbers in analog in the same way and you can get a sense of the time very quickly by the hands alone.
I have an analog on the wall, and even though I sit in front of 2 computers with the times on them always visible, when I am busy I almost always look up at the wall clock for the time
I've been thinking of getting my girls a clock for their room, but struggling with the delima of analog or digital. Being 5 & 6, they know their numbers well so digital would be the easiest without having a huge learning curve.
Reading this though I'll probably go analog. All the other ones in our house are digital as well.
All of the clocks in the school are wrong? Wrong as in showing the incorrect time?
I actually loved when, in the new building, my high school made the switch to digital clocks. They're so much easier to see at a distance. That being said, I was a Senior when that happened, so I could already read an analog clock.
dedokta ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:18:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I can easily see that reading analog clocks will become a thing of the past soon. There is very little reason to be able to read them urges days. Almost all clocks are digital and everyone carries a digital clock with them at all times these days.
People were saying that when I was 15. It's now the best part of 10 years later and no sign of that happening yet. They probably don't sell as well as they used to but they're still pretty popular.
My uncle gave me a somewhat nice wristwatch when I was 11 and some of my friends made fun of me because I couldn't read it. Lots of people said back then that all watches would be digital one day. I'm 33 now and have a half decent collection of nice watches. They're practical, they look nice, and can really finish an outfit.
Yes, correct. I'm not saying that there's a lack of digital clocks, I'm saying that there are still plenty of analogue. The two don't have to be exclusive.
Most digital clocks I see are definitely part of some other gadget or appliance.
dedokta ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except for expensive wrist watches you just don't see analog clocks anymore. Where exactly do you see all these analog clocks? I can't remember the last time I saw one.
Clock towers? In nearly every classroom? The advantage of an analog clock is that you don't need to be close enough to read the numbers to tell the time. Rather than a huge digital clock you need to see the exact number across the room, you can have a normal sized analog, because the distance you can make out a black line on white is MUCH further than the distance where you can make out specific numbers. Especially if you need glasses.
They also aren't as vulnerable to glare when viewed at a distance. It is not easy to see even a very bright light in direct sun.
I wonder if this is more a region specific thing, then. I'm from the UK and would consider it quite rare to see a digital clock outside of an appliance/gadget.
As for where I see them, wherever you'd expect to. My friends and family usually have at least a couple in their homes, my workplace (and just about every local shop I can think of) has multiple, churches. They really are everywhere.
I wonder where /u/dedokta is from. I'm also from the UK and I see analog clocks a lot more often than I see digital clocks. Computers and phones are the only places I see digital clocks really.
In offices, classrooms, lecture halls, literally every house I've ever been in (not just of friends and family). If I walked into someone's home and saw a digital clock in every room and no analog clock, that would be slightly noteworthy.
Basically this is just a rewording of your comment, but I'm just so surprised that someone would say they can't remember when they last saw an analog clock.
dedokta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Australia. Sure, analog clocks are still around, but you used to have to bee able to read one to know the time, now most places here don't use them. The train stations are all digital and less and less people are wearing wrist watches.
Are you a moron, or just very young? Digital watches have been around for the best part of fifty years but analogue clocks are going nowhere. Only an imbecile would not be able to read a fucking clock.
dedokta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually 44 and remember when analog clocks used to be everywhere. Train stations, schools, house clocks, airports., everywhere you looked was an analog clock. I also remember when everyone wore a wrist watch. If you asked someone the time they'd look at their arm, nowadays they grab their phone. If you think that just as many people are wearing watches as they did thirty years ago then your horribly mistaken. I'm not saying that it's going to happen next week, but analog clocks are definitely declining.
SaysiAlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a clock as a kid which had "ten past" "quarter past" etc listed by the numbers. I was a good reader so I learned time real fast with that.
My parents got me an analog watch with a digital display behind the hands when i was little. Just from that i figured out how analog works! Highly recommend
Drawen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put the clock and some instructions on the wall facing the toilet. She will learn by pooping!
Relevant very funny Dave Allen sketch on the subject, which might give you a laugh! ;>)>
Nikwoj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 20 living in a big city and I feel like analog clocks are still everywhere. I could be wrong though because now that I think about it the only place I use one is at the ymca
veils1de ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might sound far fetched but make her do multiplication tables. My dad made me do multiplication/division problems everyday as a kid and i hated it, but I'm grateful for it now
For telling time, obviously only multiples of 5 is needed but it'll help her understand how it works and not just memorize 7 on the clock = 35 mins past the hour
I had some trouble with it too. We didn't have them in our schools, ever. They only time I'd see them growing up was on the rare occasion I'd go to a doctor's office or something that had one on the wall. My mom couldn't figure out why it gave me so much trouble. We got one for our kitchen, and that really helped.
A great way to teach kids to tell time with an analog clock is to make one with a paper plate and two paper hands of different size and color. Only mount the hour hand and teach them how to tell the hour. Take it off and mount the minute hand and teach them how to tell minutes, then mount them both and finish up with minutes and hours.
Garona ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet having one in the house will help. Growing up, we had a clock that was not only analog but also had Roman numerals. It was the only clock in the living room, so I had no choice to be learn to read it if I wanted to know what time it was while watching TV. I give that clock a lot of the credit for my ability to read Roman numerals to this day lol. Of course, this was before the era of smart phones...
She is in third grade and they started teaching it months ago.
They didn't start teaching how to read an analogue clock until third grade? Holy crap, I must be old. That was covered early in grade 1 when I was a kid, and that was only in the early 90s.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad had some educational games on the computer for me as a kid, one of them taught how to read analog clocks
If the person gets told "3:15" and is unsatisfied with that answer and asks for the time "in digital," then they are apparently asking for a different number system. They aren't asking for military time, or they'd ask for that, and the question makes no sense at all if they just want the time as told on a digital clock, because the original answer makes sense in that context.
In this case, the decimal system is the closest logical choice since it's the most commonly used number system. A:F would be accurate in hexadecimal(assuming 16 periods of 90 minutes per day), but "digital" would usually be used to describe the characters "0" through "9." I suppose you could tell them the time in binary, but if they could understand that and not the standard notation of time, they're probably a synth and should be shot on sight.
Where are you from? Where I am (Canada) there's half past 3, which is 3:30. Or for 2:30 it'd be half past 2, but we'd never count ahead a half hour like that
-aRTy- ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think as long as you include "past" or "to" it's fine. The issues I know of are expressions that translate to "half three" or "quarter three".
I don't remember the exact time it was, I just used "Three fifteen" as an example. Either way, where I live anyways, people wouldn't usually say "fifteen fifteen" for 15:15, it'd be seen as unusually specific.
Yeah I was just being pedantic. My mind is a bit blown because I'm only a few years older than an entire generation that don't know analogue timings. Crazy
I was talking with a friend of mine (we're both 23) and I said "it's quarter to 6." She said to me "I don't know what that means. why can't you just use numbers like normal people?"
To be honest, I kind of get why people find this confusing. The quarter part is fine of course but whether the "of" means after or before seems to be interchangeable for some people!
Is it possible she didn't know the term 24h clock, and was actually looking for 15:15? Or was she maybe having a a spazzy moment and meant is it AM or PM?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most kids don't understand when I say it's 10 after or 10 to. They think: 10-2? WTF?
I was taught in 1st grade too. But I never really saw an analogue clock again after that. The school was all digital. My home clocks were digital. My watch was digital. Naturally After a few years I forgot and decided re-learn when I was about 17.
I still don't have an appreciation for it though. It's less accurate, takes slightly more time to interpret, and requires a lit room to read.
Anyways , if you don't have an analogue clock in your house, get one! It would have saved me from forgetting it as a kid. It's easy to forget something when you never use the skill. Though honestly most of the developed world could probably get by without that skill, it's just not as necessary as it used to be.
I prefer analog, it's just as east to see at a glance and it is much easier if you need to calculate how much time between two times. Unless you're only using 24-hour time, anyway.
what seriously? an analog clock is kind of like a picture and digital is like a word... I find it easier to remember faces than names so I always found analog as fast to read as digital... I might have lost my train of thought there hah XD
I meant the human element I guess. A perfectly accurate analogue can still be misread by a few minutes if you're taking a quick glance. A digital shows the exact minute.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, and I thought that was normal. I was the only person at my last job who could read an analog clock. Found that out when they asked saw my watch and acted like I was a wizard. It's not actually that hard.
I'm only 27 and I definitely learned that shit in kindergarten/1st grade.
Also, taught high school and middle school and both schools had analog clocks on the wall instead of digital. Maybe the kids completely ignore them and use their phones now, though.
Wow. I went to an American public school and we learned how to read an analog clock in kindergarten. I didn't realize they don't teach that everywhere.
They tried teaching me, I could figure it out but I had to always count in 5s from the beginning and I always got the hands mixed up so I just said fuck it, my teacher didn't really care neither did my parents. I eventually taught myself how but I still have to actually "read" it I can't just glance and know.
Isn't that so interesting how our minds work? I feel with certain things if we don't learn in the right time window we are screwed for life. When I read your comment I thought ugh that would suck so badly to have to "read" the clock and not just understand immediately from the visual what that meant. But then I thought, I'm 26 and I still very often visualize my left hand making an L to remind myself which is left and which is right. I've gotten better at it, but because I didn't fully grasp it in school and didn't drive until really late, it does not come naturally to me. And I can grasp really complicated things. So bizarre. North, East, South, West is even more innately ingrained in my sense of direction than left and right ๐
I had to start from the beginning every time because I didn't understand the 15 min for each quarter of the clock. No one bothered to help teach me it either but I have a decent grasp on it now.
MRAGGGAN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I remember learning it back really early on. Around the same time I was learning numbers and counting. Plus the clocks in the classroom were all analog so if you wanted to know how close it was to the end of the day you had to be able to read one.
In the south and the east they say the time in even another way. Three quarters 4, which means a quarter to 4. Many westerners can't understand it really. (Me included)
bkturf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My phone suggested learnt, it sounded right aloud and I believe there's a discussion on the usage in this thread but I'll watch my Ps and Qs from herein.
I never needed to learn analogue as I always had digital clocks around me
seh_23 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:31:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I self taught too. I was bored in ballet class and wanted so badly to know how much time had passed and how much time was left so I stared at the clock for most of the time and eventually figured it out.
Having to learn port vs starboard in the Navy really made me appreciate not having a problem with left vs right like some people. I still have to make a conscious effort to remind myself port = left and starboard = right. I just had to finally just start reminding myself that port and left have the same number of letters, and are the same, but I have to do that every time I think about it.
twolaces ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just had to finally just start reminding myself that port and left have the same number of letters
Thank you for this.
edrmeow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:08:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually shockingly common. I didn't realize it until I started wearing an analog watch in high school, and people would regularly ask me how I can figure out what time it is with that thing.
I remember when I was about five or six, an older kid asked me if I knew how to tell time, and I said that I was learning, but still had a rough time telling the exact minute if the minute hand was between two numbers, like if the the time was between 1:10 and 1:15. The kid explained to me that all those minutes are still part of 1:10, and then the time just jumps to 1:15.
As I said. We were taught this is at a young age, but I had trouble understanding and the teacher just brushed me off when I said I needed more explanation
As such I never had the chance to learn
Somehow, I managed to avoid being taught left and right in school due to a combination of well-timed illness and moving to a new school mid-year that had already taught it. Got the hang of it watching baseball learning left field and right field.
We were taught this is at a young age, but I had trouble understanding and the teacher just brushed me off when I said I needed more explanation
As such I never had the chance to learn
Kiosade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh I see. I think I read the first part and just thought you meant it was never even brought up at all. Sucks that they didn't bother to make sure you actually got it...
I live in a small town in the UK and this was about 20 years ago, so education wasn't ideal
II-o-II ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned how to read analog time in first grade. So I know how to do it in theory. But every watch and clock I've owned has always been digital and most of my schools had digital clocks. So every time I need to read an analog clock I struggle for an inappropriately long time until I come up with some estimate of what the time is, but I might be off by 1 or 2 hours. I'm almost 30.
Alarid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... I was mixing up analog and digital until I got to this comment.
My 32 year old cousin only just learned how to read analog clocks recently too - he just always wore a digital watch and never was taught either - he still can't read any clocks that have Roman numerals or just no numbers on them though.
my teacher didn't teach me shit about dinosaurs when I was a kid (grew up in mormon utah) but you bet your ass I knew what an ankylosaurus was by the time I was 7.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of us just taught ourselves when we were kids because, er, it's not rocket science.
This is genuinely shocking to me for two reasons. The first is that I was taught to tell the time in like first grade so not knowing how just seems foreign to me. Also I do not think I've ever been in a classroom with a digital clock. It's only every been analog clocks
As I said. We were taught this is at a young age, but I had trouble understanding and the teacher just brushed me off when I said I needed more explanation
As such I never had the chance to learn
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In another comment, someone mentioned that because digital time was so prevalent, the little analogue we had learned was easily forgotten because it wasn't used
I think this makes a lot of sense
I definitely feel that I probably wouldn't have even needed to be taught analogue if I was around more clocks lol
Only the other hand, my SO struggles with 24-hour digital displays, but this may be due to her dyslexia
I was taught at a young age, got a digital watch and promptly got well out of practice. This was well before mobile telephones with built in clocks or anything of the sort.
Then I misplaced my watch.
Being socially awkward, there's no way I'm asking a stranger for the time, so ended up re-teaching myself from the surprising number of analogue clocks that still exist.
Felt like a bit of a dummy tbh, but once I'd found my watch, I did without until I was confident in using analogue time again.
curtitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I said. We were taught this is at a young age, but I had trouble understanding and the teacher just brushed me off when I said I needed more explanation
As such I never had the chance to learn
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to take ages to read a clock face, I have to remember what the little hand and big hand do, then count out how many minutes and look at where the big hand is. Other people seem to be able to read the time instantly. I put it down to moving house and going to several different schools during grades 3 to 5 and missing that part of the curriculum at all of them.
My friend in middle school thought he knew how to tell time by the position of the sun. We were out playing and one of us asked what time it was. He does something with his hands and says, "it's 6:00, we better head back now." We get back and it's like 3:30.
This should work if you know sunset or sunrise time and do it properly. 1 hand width from the horizon is approx. 1 hour. The closer to sunset/sunrise, the easier it is to be accurate, of course.
moeph0 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 14:35:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If anything you should learn how to tell cardinal directions based on the sun. Extremely helpful if you quickly want to orient yourself when driving and your gps hasn't full recognized the direction you're facing/traveling.
Well, it's more the rough direction, but yes, very helpful.
orestes1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:04:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't in other countries, but in mine, all the Catholic Churches face East, which is a nifty little trick to be able to tell west and east appart if for some reason you can't look at the sun.
If you are facing east, north is to your left and south is to your right. Once you've figured out which direction is east or west, you've done everything you need to know all of them. No trick needed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I keep thinking I know which direction is which based on the sun, but then I remember I'm far enough North that I'm off by a few degrees most of the year. (At noon it would face South more then anything.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:08:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, man. Don't come here about "last generation"! That's bullshit.
Analog time is something you have to learn. Ask someone born in like 2011 what time it is, based on a clock, and he/she'll tell you without trouble.
Possibly. I'm 16 and we learned the analog clock in kindergarten. My sister is two years younger than me and she struggles to read analog sometimes because they didn't spend as much time on it when learning it.
well that's true as well. Use it or lose it, sister.
namer98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like my generation is one of the last ones to learn analog clock
I am trying to teach my three year old how to read an analog clock. Failing, but trying. Maybe next year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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namer98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly for the "Don't come in before 7am" effect. The clock around the corner from our bedroom is analog. She knows what it is, and understands that the hands mean a specific time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:16:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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namer98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have indeed thought of it. I suggested on top of that, to take the clock apart and paint one hand another color and say "when the red hand is below this, don't come in".
I self taught analog clocks when I was 5 years old. Was kinda obsessed with it though. I drew clocks on every bit of paper I could find and tried to understand how the damn thing worked. Took me a couple of months but I got it :p
maaku7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That IS an extremely useful skill btw. Did he also teach you orientation?
Dogpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, you feel like a badass when you are within a few minutes of accuracy.
24 here. so like, i learned it. i can look at an analog clock and tell the time. but it baffles me how some people can read it as fast as a digital one that actually displays the time in a format that you can just read it and that's the time. with analog clocks, especially when they dont have the numbers or roman numerals, i have to count and remember the short hand and long hand etc. like i can do it, its not hard, but its not second nature
dwmfives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We come from a time when there was no digital. And you need to survive if digital stops working, which, being entirely manmade, isn't far fetched.
The only thing I really know about telling time by looking at the sun is what I tend to use on a semi regular basis. By placing my hand between the horizon and the sun and counting the amount of fingers there are in between, you can reasonably tell when the sun will set. Each finger is roughly 15 minutes. Helps me a bit when I'm on the road and want to know how much sunlight is left.
Since I learned about this from some random comment, I was really impressed when I first tried it and it was accurate.
it seems to be super hit/miss on kids being taught to read a dial.
mine not only know how to read a dial, they know how to read military time, but that's because the only digital clocks in the house are the stove, the alarm clock in the master bedroom, and the clocks on the computers.
all the clocks we reference all the time are dial clocks.
RachelAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In VA that's covered in 3rd grade (8-9 yrs old). When I was in elementary it was started in kindergarten and finished in 1st grade...but that was before digital wall clocks were common.
I can't wrap my head around even needing to be taught. Like if you look at the thing for a minute you can figure it out surely? The fast hand tells minutes and the slow one tells hours.
Pheorach ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:49:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They've been phasing it out for the longest time and if I have the option of looking at a digital clock, I will not even bother with analog because I always doubt if it has been set correctly. The only time I run into having to use it is in my office at a certain workstation where the digital clock is too small to see from a distance.
I was taught by my parents when I was young, because I was also young enough to be needed to be taught about how to "call collect" from a payphone in case of an emergency, and also how to contact my dad on his pager. (I'm turning 26 this year)
I do remember being taught it but we didn't have to the most ... Adept teacher in the world. She'd tell us how, make sure one person got it then set us the task.
bivenator ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 13:00:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good now you can focus on your spelling
NormieX ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:42:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I thought too, but apparently learnt is acceptable for the British.
Astrama ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:49:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister and I both have forms of dyslexia, part of hers is that she can't tell what time it is on analogue clocks. She's much cleverer than me in many ways, both analogue clocks take her well over 30 seconds to read, and she'll have a headache/ the room will be spinning afterwards.
Everyone's mind works differently, some just have more distinct shortcomings than others.
I don't understand how that is possible. Can she not see how the hands are positioned or something?
Astrama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's like how people without dyslexia can't understand how the words move or shift or just are difficult for those who have it. I can't pretend to understand it myself other than she just can't do it.
would have been understandable if it were 15 years ago.....and he was 2
graaahh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:09:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's two possibilities here that aren't just "kid is stupid":
He's grown up his entire life with digital clocks. This is something that's going to become more common over time, not less.
He might have dyscalculia. It's a learning disorder characterized by difficulty grasping basic math concepts, but also directions, analog time, spatial reasoning, financial planning, flipping images in your mind, watching someone perform a movement and copying them, etc.
I used to tutor after school at the public school in my rural northern Missouri town. More than half the kids who came in couldn't read an analog clock.
This was a Bronze Medal-awarded school. Missouri depresses me. I'm ready to move.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's plenty of good reasons to teach it. If nothing else it gives young kids practice of multiplying by five. Even though analog clocks aren't in the classroom anymore, they're still in use elsewhere and they're not going away.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:11:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Sweden. Likely a more developed country than the USA. We have analog clocks on all the walls, and they just got new ones for this semester. It's in the curriculum, and there is no thought of that ever going away.
XGX787 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:47:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty important, like learning basic Roman numerals so you don't sound like a moron when reading them. "Vee-i-i". Also in my anecdotal experience an analog watch gives you a better sense of time because you can see the physical distance the minute hand has to move. Ever since I started wearing my watch my sense of time has gotten a lot better.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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XGX787 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard about a parent naming their kid KVIIIlyn, is it the same one or is this a trend?
Must be a new trend. There are some new crazy names out there.
I also had a student named K.I.D.. It isn't pronounced kid, you have to say each individual letter. K.I.D.
Can you not bring in a small analog alarm clock and set it at the front of your room and have them practice with it? Maybe before you go to the library, or art, or gym, or lunch, or recess?
I do write in cursive, especially during our writing lessons. Even if they don't need to learn it (although I think they should), they should be able to read it anyway.
Actually, the analog vs. analogue thing is just a US quirk. Analogue and analog are really just the same but for some reason in the US, analog is often used to refer to electronics etc. while analogue is related to "analogous". But elsewhere they're entirely interchangeable.
The app icon is an analog clock but the time is displayed digitally. Plus nobody really opens the clock app to check the time.
Of course, a few years ago in the dark days, it was just a fixed image of a clock rather than a working version. The horror.
euyis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, but sooner or later it will cease to have any meaning to newer generations except as a signifier of clock, just like how the floppy disk icon comes to mean save file and nothing else.
But there are three pointy things, should it be hard to determine in which order they are? based on how fast they move?
yokayla ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:01:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, sure as an adult or older teen you could figure it out if you really needed to -- but you kinda don't really need to. Digital clocks are way more prolific and immediately available.
SinkTube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
plus you'd have to stare at it for like... minutes to spot the speed difference between the minute and hour hands
But how would you know that the 6 also means 30? Just by the fact that it's halfway around the circle? This assumes that you know there's 60 min in an hour and that the 12 represents zero. If you weren't told that each number represents 5 minutes to the minute had, then you'd have to be able to divide 60/12 - which I didn't learn for several years after being able to tell time. It's just not super obvious to little kids unless they're taught. Sure, a high schooler should be able to teach themselves but it's definitely something that requires actively learning.
Yeah you don't if someone tells you how to tell time. You don't automatically know that there are 60 minutes in an hour. Or that every number on the clock corresponds to 5 minutes (number 7 = 35 min etc). Some one tells you these things or you don't learn them.
It's a simple system but it's not inherently intuitive. You still need to know that the small hand is the hour hand and the long hand is the minute hand. Plus until you're told or you pick it up through osmosis, you don't intrinsically know that an hour is sixty minutes long or that there are 24 hours in a day etc.
I have a 24-year-old co-worker who STILL doesn't know how to read an analog clock.
He also doesn't have a driver's licence, lives in his parent's basement playing Call of Duty, and hangs out with (and acts like) people high school age
He doesn't know our first president (or any, for that matter other than Barack and Donald), the difference between a continent and a country, or what time zones are. Your 15 year old classmate seems to share his traits of not have ANY drive to learn or do anything new.
He didn't say analogue, he just said 'i dont know how to tell that time'. I put analogue for better wording.
Raichu7 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:48:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the parents fault, not the kids. I was only taught analogue time and I can't read digital. I've tried to understand it but I have to subtract 12 from the number to know what hour it is.
Edit: I'd like to add that if a digital clock has the option of showing 12 hour time obviously I'll use it but not all clocks do, more often than not it's only 24 hours and if it's a clock in a public place I can't go pressing buttons on it to make it show 12 hours.
I really can't tell if you're being legit or not, but I'm so curious so I'm going to respond.
What?
Raichu7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On an analogue clock 5pm is shown as 5. On a digital clock with 24 hours 5pm is shown as 17:00. I can't look at 17 and know it means 5, I have to subtract 12 from 17 to get the number 5 and know the time is 5pm.
Oh shit, I didn't even consider that. I'm American, all of the clocks I've ever seen go to twelve and then jump back to one. I can see how yours would get confusing! Honestly I just assumed you would just think of time as 24 hours instead of 2 12-hour blocks.
Edymnion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:31:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turn the digital clock over. Press the button to switch it from base 24 to base 12.
That's kinda how everyone does it though to start. Nice quick way to do it is to subtract only 2 hrs, then ignore the leading 1 (or change from 2 to 1 if past 10pm)...
Long term you just do the calculation quicker/sub consciously.
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You seem to be a bit confused. A digital clock is simply a clock that displays the time digitally (as in with numerals), as opposed to an analog clock, where the time is indicated by the positions of rotating hands. What you are talking about is 24hr time where instead of referring to time with two rotations of 12 hours they simply use 24 hours. A digital clock does not at all need to be set to 24hr time.
It depends on where you live. We in germany, for example, don't have a concept like am and pm for times. We haveword for it, afternoon (nachmittag) and before noon (vormittag). But we don't have abbrevations and we don't use them on our digital clocks. (Well you can sometimes, but then you have to remember what time of the day it is.)
qtx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:21:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you have very limited experience with digital clocks.
I think it's you have very limited experience with digital clocks. Most (if not all) digital clocks have a 24 or 12 option.
Isn't military time just 24h but said as numbers? Like 2pm would be 14:00 in 24h but 1400 (fourteen hundred) hours in military?
cdemski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It's basically the same thing, unless s/he is referring to Zulu time which is based on GMT if I recall correctly. In which case Zulu isn't typically used in day-to-day work unless you're involved with flight or something else that requires it.
I had some girls in High School with the same problem when we were learning the clock in Spanish.
Tables61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've taught (or partially taught) at least 3 kids aged 15-16 to read the time from an analogue clock in the last two years, and several others in lower years. I'm aware of plenty of other kids who still can't tell the time from an analog clock. It's a skill that most already know, and most of the rest will get taught it at least partially in interventions and other stuff, but for some it just doesn't stick.
Since we live in a digital world, a decent number of kids just don't bother. They would rather sneak a look at their phone to check the time, rather than learn the skill.
I self taught myself analogue clocks when I was a freshman in high school. No one had ever bothered teaching me before and I had never bothered asking. It was easy to learn obviously but people are still flabbergasted to learn that I didn't know how to do that until high school.
sdega315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a middle school. It is increasingly common for kids not to be able to read an analog clock face. They also do not understand phrases like "Quarter past one" or "Quarter to three." And many of them literally can't tie their shoes! (But that's a whole other discussion.)
That's a hard thing for kids to learn nowadays, since you never really see analog clocks. Teachers probably don't push it as hard as they should for that reason. I helped out with a third grade class that was learning it, it just takes practice and patience.
I once asked an 18 year old guy for the time because he was wearing a fake plastic gold analog watch and he just put the watch to my face claiming he didnt know how to read it........
NYGalz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter is 21 and still doesn't get analog. I'll say its 20 after 11 and she will ask me to tell her the real time.. lol.
I once told a teacher that. The whole class spent 10 minutes "teaching" me analogue. I knew but had ten minutes less of class.
Spoojje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl who I know who is probably 18 by now can't tell the time.
Drougen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I'm reading through these. I have a kid that's 3 years old and I never thought about it. Guess she was telling me the truth when she said she NEEDED a pink shopkins watch.
When I was doing A levels, (4-5 years ago) my school which taught pupils of ages 11-19 waa preparing to replace all of the analog clocks with digital ones. Their reasoning was "it discriminates against children who can't read analog clocks"
What?! My son is 15, and he knows how to read an analog clock. We taught him at home, and his teachers taught that in kindergarten or first grade! Holy smokes!
I grew up before people had digital clocks/watches (who remembers the whole LED vs LCD debate?) and it was YEARS before I knew what they meant when (old) people said things like, "We'll eat dinner at a quarter of six." Quarter of? WTF? Bad old days.
This is surprisingly common these days. My cousin wasn't taught how to read analogue and made it through Junior High without ever learning. I even tried to teach him once and he basically said there was no point thanks to digital clocks being everywhere (on our phones etc.). Eventually he and his friends figured it out, but it wasn't until high school...
At least people asking are trying to learn. Still, hearing 40 year old women amazed that yes, electronic devices do need to be switched on to work always grates.
CPU uptime: 137 days and counting.
"What do you mean restart?!"
After an hour of walking them through a printer installation, confirming that it is on 17 times:
"Does it need to be plugged in? It says wireless, and I pressed the On button..."
Sunfried ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:49:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good attitude to have when all of your students are armed, and often new to the guns they have.
Not a teacher (sorry) but when I was doing GCSE (UK qualification for 14-16 year-olds) music, the idiot of the class asked, "Sir, you know for our compositions, yeah? Do we, like, have to make it up?"
No. No, you can transcribe your favourite song and get full marks. Yes, do that.
Poor I-IV-V. The chap definitely would not have known what that is... He was the kid who brought weed into class to brag to the teache (because he thought he was cool and wasn't going to rat him out to senior staff...) and did GCSE music just to create dubstep. Shame we had to study "boring shitty fake classical music"
We were studying Chopin's Raindrop Prelude when this gem was spouted out. He was the sort of kid who thought dubstep was the only true form of music because it was only thing he liked.
I can kinda understand what he means, I guess from his perspective classical music is orchestral and this sounds like a classical music composition (which it is); and I guess he really likes the changes in timbre in dubstep which is harder to see in many other musical forms. depending on what he's seen so far, there might not be much syncopation either.
I can kind of see his point. Classical music takes a certain mindset for me (usually studying late at night) that wouldn't be compatible with being in high school or trying to show off in front of your friends.
Yeah, we all wished he actually thought that deeply...in his mind, classical music is all "boring shit stuff" (we still quote him at school reunions) and he couldn't understand why anyone liked it and not the "dirty bass" of dubstep. Bear in mind his hilarious opinion of classical music was universal for anything that anyone could call classical, whether it's actually classical or not.
He should listen to All Is Hell That Ends Well (including the end part). That might shake him up a little.
Jippijip ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:35:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of many reasons I think it's worth exposing students to the full range of classical sounds, as early as possible. A lot of people just don't understand the variety encompassed by the genre!
what did you just make me listen to, and why did i finish the video?
Chewy96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain this to me.
Jippijip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:17:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I don't know much about how to interpret the piece myself; I just kind of picked the first example of very "different" classical music I could think of off the top of my head. I guess it evokes either an interesting synergy or an interesting conflict between man and machine, the analog and the digital, the old and the new. The title also suggests some sort of distortion of popular ideas, but I'd have to think on it some more. Avant-garde classical music is a lot like modern art in that it can depend heavily on viewer (listener) interpretation.
Perhaps I should have picked a more palatable (?) example of the modern stuff. For example, Caroline Shaw's Partita for 8 Voices changed my life with its emotional directness and raw joy. Or something that's barely classical at all like Terry Riley's A Rainbow in Curved Air, which could just as easily be on a Pink Floyd album. The last century saw classical music break free of the traditions that dominated it for hundreds of years, and that gave it a lot of freedom to expand in every direction imaginable (while still continuing the old traditions to an extent, of course). It's a shame that a lot of people simply equate it with the 18th and 19th centuries.
Anyway, I hope I've piqued someone's interest with this. There's a lot of sounds out there to experience.
Okay, so then what the hell does the term "classical music" actually mean?
Jippijip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Music composed in the greater tradition of European Art music? Generally (though not as a rule) classical composers are trained in a specific way and operate either in the traditions of the past (In the 1950's for example, think Shostakovich, Bartok, Martinu) or by trying to further the art in the avant-garde (Boulez, Stockhausen, Cage). It's an incredibly broad term, and I think it's misrepresentation to consider it one genre.
Furthermore, it's worth remembering that the concept of genre is kind of artificial in general. Electronic music has its origins in the experimentation of classical composers in the 50's, and there's no clear line of where it becomes its own genre. In the same way, minimalist music and psychedelic rock fade together in places, and of course there's endless borrowing all over the place. There's 2 ways to approach this: Either we can use broad sweeping genres that don't fit their contents perfectly, but make the content as a whole easy to talk about, or we can go the route I've been noticing more and more lately of piling subgenres upon subgenres to specify exactly what we mean at the cost of making it harder to communicate what we're talking about to people who aren't necessarily as familiar with it.
I totally get your second paragraph - metal being a great example of both parts, drawing a lot from what I would have considered to be "classical music", and also being split into a million thousand (semi-)discrete subgenre.
But your first paragraph mystifies me. How do the things you linked fit into that? And what distinguishes the first example from shitty electronica that isn't "classical", or the last from, as you say, Pink Floyd as not "classical"? What does the tradition you refer to mean, and does your use of the term in this way really mean anything?
Jippijip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've struggled with this a lot, actually. Where to draw the lines of classical music to me feels like asking where this image stops being red, and it's something I still wrestle with when I organize my library.
To specifically address the pieces I've linked earlier, Caroline Shaw's is probably the most "conventional" classical music. She's currently pursuing a PhD in composition at Princeton and won the Pulitzer prize in music for the Partita in 2013. Stefan Prins, who composed the very first piece I linked, is similarly a student in composition. Formal training in composition is definitely a criterion, and an important one. Though there are stories of composers starting with no formal training, like Toru Takemitsu and John Cage, it's hard to stay isolated in the collaborative world of classical music. It seems you inevitably become a part of the tradition by interacting with your peers. Notable exceptions include outsiders like Moondog and Harry Partch.
Where the boundaries get blurry (as with the Riley piece), I find it useful to look at the composer's past works. What a piece sounds like is only one part of its identity - it can and should also be placed in the context of pieces that led to it and those it influenced. Terry Riley was a founding member of the minimalist movement, with works like in C and the Harp of New Albion. Riley got heavily involved in the hippie movement, and from there I'm not exactly sure as to who borrowed from whom, but what emerged is what I posted earlier. I'd say that personally what makes him classical, though I'll admit that it's cross-listed in my library.
Modern electronic music comes in part from the avant-garde of the 50's and 60's, buy you're right that that's not the whole story. With the creation of the Moog synthesizer in the 60's, the ability to make electronic music slowly became more widely available, and it was rapidly popularized in the 70's largely through Disco. However, the avant-garde has deceptively far-reaching influences. It's not random that Karlheinz Stockhausen, one of the first composers to work with electronic music, is one of the faces on the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club.
But I digress. You can probably tell that it's something that I'm very interested in exploring, and I'd love to hear your views on the subject.
Edit: I think a very similar or at least related question is what is art? If someone lies face-down on the floor naked for 2 hours and films it, it clearly has completely different intentions and execution from, say, a 16th-century Dutch painter. Are they even the same thing anymore? Is it worth using the same word for both?
I never really thought I liked (or disliked) orchestral/classical music until I realized how many of my favorite videogame and movie soundtracks were just that.
He was really into the wub wub stuff, eh? First time I heard that shit I thought the subwoofer was on the fritz.
tinfins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid may be failing the class, but he's acing being a chav.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
chopin is fucking top draw as far as gcse set works go. I don't remember anything about any set work apart from chopin
Orcwin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:13:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hardly fair, there are plenty of orchestral works for film that are quite decent. Calling film composers fake would mean excluding composers like Holst as well, who were essentially already doing the same thing before film music even existed.
To be fair, learning better composition skills for production was part of why I decided to take AP Music Theory, but I actually appreciate classical music (and play a ton of viola music to boot) so I'm not sure what this kid was expecting. Without experience on an actual instrument, it's hard to do well in a class like that.
Honestly don't know what he did since our performances were done individually in private at the time. I know he got a G for performance so god knows what he did...
We had to do performances in front of the class for "practice". It was an exercise in not warming up and then playing a piece that was probably easily messed up. At the time, one classmate complained that I flipped the bird at him while playing.
To be fair I took music theory for the sole purpose of making electronic music and sometimes even something that could be regarded as simply as "beats".
So dont rip on him for that, bringing weed to brag to a teacher though? lmao what a dumbass
Not ripping on him for that purpose, just more his concept on what studying music "should" be about. He just wasn't really made for music, to be honest. To his credit, he was amazing at geography even if he hated it...
I don't exactly hail dubstep as the one and only but I also cannot stand classical music. Maybe because the only time I heard it was when I was forced to by some music teacher or parent, maybe not. Its not only boring, it literally gives me headaches.
That was a major factor to why I didn't get into music classes at my university. Not only did they focus on classical music, they also required that you take 2 classes playing a band instrument. This https://savantofficial.bandcamp.com/album/zion is the style of music I want to learn to make. That requires learning musical software, advanced synth work. Creating new sounds. All of the classes that focused on that were locked behind a 3 year gate of musical torture.
So, yeah, i can understand where he is coming from.
Music wise, I know how to play the piano and was playing band clarinet while in middleschool. I stopped doing band in highschool to peruse other drawing classes instead. Lately I found the (very good) FL-studio mobile app and that has revitalized my interest in music.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Add a vi, and there's no way you won't have a megahit.
Ezmar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:04:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really any combination of I, IV, V and vi. They all flow into one another well, and it's easy to understand the harmonic structure for listeners.
There's nothing wrong with using those chords, either. People talk about how it makes everything sound the same, but almost all music relies on those chords to some extent.
Of course, this also means that it's not a surefire way to write a hit song. Plenty of crappy songs use the same chords. Harmony isn't a particularly hard part of songwriting. What makes or breaks a song is rhythm.
eddiemon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What makes or breaks a song is rhythm.
I can respect many different schools of thought when it comes to music but this is just wrong. Rhythm is certainly part of the equation but harmony and melody is by far the more distinguishing feature of a piece of music. For one, just from a mathematical standpoint, there really aren't that many tricks you can play with rhythm phrasing compared to the sheer number of permutations and sequences in which you can combines notes.
Harmony isn't a particularly hard part of songwriting.
Just because a piece of music uses the same chords doesn't mean it's "easy" to make good music with them. Take a relatively simple sounding song like Over the Rainbow and break down its harmony. You'll still find plenty of nuance and artistry in how the song writer chooses to create tension and resolution.
Ezmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more talking in a "it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing" kind of sense. The melody and notes are important in making the music unique, but I feel like good rhythm is what really defines a piece as "boring" or "interesting".
There are always exceptions, of course, but the best songwriters and composers throughout history have had a strong sense of rhythm. I'm considering things like tempo, dynamics, and such as all being a part of the piece's overall sense of "rhythm".
eddiemon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but I feel like good rhythm is what really defines a piece as "boring" or "interesting".
I have to say, and I don't mean to be insulting, but that's just absolutely not true. First of all, dynamics and rhythm are completely different things - You can't just lump them together.
Second of all, there are countless pieces of music, both good and bad, that just happen to have essentially the same rhythm. By contrast, you'll find that you'd be very, very hard pressed to find two pieces of music with the same melodic/harmonic composition coincidentally, distinguished solely by their rhythm, but one "good" and the other "bad".
Listen to anything by JS Bach for example, and you'll find that rhythmically speaking, there's almost nothing interesting going on - His musical mastery is expressed entirely in the counterpoints and harmony of his pieces. There is no counterpart of an equivalent musical genius who is or was solely brilliant at rhythmic composition because the creative space is just much more limiting.
I'm not saying rhythm is not an important part of musical composition at all, but it most definitely takes second place to melody/harmony, both in the perception of the average audience, and in musical criticism.
Ezmar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:09:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dynamics and rhythm are closely related, at least much more closely related than dynamics and tone.
I'm not making a sweeping statement here, saying that rhythm is the only thing that gives a song quality. I'm simply saying that rhythm is what gives music its form, and what grabs someone's ear. It's not an objective good vs bad thing.
I would argue that Bach has rhythm to spare. That's what I was saying when it comes to including dynamics in rhythm, even straight 8th or 16th note patterns have a rhythm to them as expressed by their accents, and their placement tonally. Not sinply what the notes are, but where they fall in the spectrum of high-low, and how patterns are played with. All that is tied to the rhythm of the piece.
I maintain that one cannot be a great musician without having a solid feel for rhythm. I'd much rather listen to a percussion piece with no tonal sounds whatsoever than listen to random tones that are simply harmonious. Regardless, my comment was initially geared towards the sentiment that pop music is "all the same chords". Sure, you can slap something together with those chords and call it a day, but the rhythm is a much more critical component of pop music than the harmonies, particularly with dance tunes, for obvious reasons.
You lost me when you said Bach had nothing interesting going on rhythmically. Rhythm is far more than the note values that a piece is comprised of. It's the underlying pulse you feel, enforced by dynamics like accents and larger scale contrasts between loud and soft.
Bach's fugues are brilliant not only because of their harmony, but because of the interplay between the voices. Bach without any interesting rhythm is just a plain old chorale, and though his chorales are gorgeous, they're far from why he's considered a genius. Show me an interpretation of Bach without pulse and I'll show you a bad interpretation of Bach.
I think rhythm is tremendously undervalued and under-noticed in the classical world, possibly because the performance traditions of many conductors and soloists are to play fast and loose with any sense of it. So many great pieces lose all momentum that way.
Listen to the beginning of Mahler's 2nd symphony. Not a whole lot of melody or harmony to speak of (to be clear, in any piece with notes there will be some form of melody and in anything with multiple notes at the same time you can call it harmony, but the part in question is not either terribly melodic or harmonic), what drives it is rhythm. And even when those beautiful melodic lines and that lush romantic harmony start developing, that rhythm is still driving. I think without that rhythmic drive this would be one of the most boring pieces I could think of.
Another example would be Beethoven's 5th. That amazing beginning is not very melodic and is almost entirely in c minor. That pulse though, it drives it on. You could recognize a huge amount of Beethoven's stuff by the rhythm alone, and in fact he uses a huge number of motives that have repeated notes with the rhythm actually being the main distinguishing factor.
Ezmar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's subjective, like most things regarding music, but to state some examples from my personal opinion, I'd say that "we wish you a Merry Christmas" is pretty boring rhythmically, whereas "Jingle Bells" has a lot more rhythm.
Basically if its catchy or not, although thats a very subjective question.
JC_Frost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was always a big fan of I-vi-IV-V. The only chord I think pop music needs more of is the ii chord. I mainly listen to rock stuff, like 2000s not-heavy rock, and I notice a TON on vi-IV-I-V in it, which I hate. Don't know why.
Ezmar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ii actually serves a similar harmonic function to IV. There's some theory behind it, but I don't remember the whole thing. If I recall, at one point, IV was actually considered an alternative for ii.
It may not be IV, but I'm 100% positive it shares the same harmonic function as one of the other chords.
JC_Frost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah yeah, that's definitely the case. The vi chord leads to both ii and IV reliably, and the ii and IV both lead to V reliably
290077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, ii-IV-I-V is almost as common as vi-IV-I-V
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I-VI-ii-V also works wonderfully
Kyoopy2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Music has a lot more room for depth than just chords though. You could also pull an entire Beethoven symphony out of your ass using just I IV V.
dokh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You do still have to fit a melody line to the chords, or the lead vocalist will have nothing to do.
Dude, we're living in a golden age of music. Top 40 has always been crappy I-IV-V chord progressions and songs about having sex. I'm sorry, songs about "put the hot poker into the fire, yeah, yeah, yeah; Woah, woah , woah". On the internet, especially on bandcamp, the greatest musicians of our age have a voice and an ability to make some money.
Look for some good new music you're interested and you can find it. It's not just metal, there's great new jazz, hip hop and electronic music too.
Ezmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:08:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bohemian Rhapsody's progression is I-vi-IV-V for the first two verses and chorus.
You can't really write a song without using those chords. It will sound really strange if you don't. More accessible music is going to use more accessible progressions.
I have a friend who was performing his composition to the class on trombone when the guy next to him said "Isn't that the He-Man song?!"
He would've gotten away with it too if that guy didn't rat him out.
MudnuK ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:19:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of me. Never did music GCSE but almost all of years 7 and 8 involved learning what each piece of notation meant and then the instrumental make-up and brief social histories of a few music genres. Then we were asked to write a piece of music, having been taught nothing about actual compositional techniques. Seemed like such a strange jump to make, suddenly being asked to pull a composition out of our asses.
It was like being shown all these paintings by famous artists, then told to go make our own. How? All you've done is shown me pieces far better than anything I can hope to make, then not told me how to make them!
That's the one thing that's difficult with teaching composition. There isn't really a way to "teach" it as such, some people just can do it, some people just can't. Those that can, yes, you can teach them techniques for them to adapt and etc but if someone just isn't one to compose, teaching techniques won't really mean much.
It's kind of like the marmite of music as a subject. In the earlier years where the subject is more general, you need to include it in. For those who don't/can't compose, it's a hated section. For those who can, it's an easy set of marks.
Should have expanded on context. The composition brief he chose was Britpop so he had to write an original song in the Britpop style. Of course, arrangements are a different and valid thing (if allowed) but he definitely asked in the context of note-for-note.
Tregavin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna just assume your class knew what compositions were ahead of time because what you said made no immediate sense as to why his question was dumb...
Not necessarily. I'm an amateur orchestral composer and while yes, we do take a lot of influence from past composers and our music can easily resemble other composers, a lot of new material is coming out and you can often tell a composer by the sound and feel of the music.
To be fair, that's exactly what I did. As did my bestfriend. We just played a cover of a lesser known song and hoped our teacher didn't know it. She did not. We got A's.
Btw all the dubstep is done with a guitar, bass, and drums. Lots of effects on them, but it's not done with a laptop like most dubstep. Also the orchestral stuff is all wrote by the bands singer, who is classically trained singer, guitarist, and pianist.
She handed it in a week before it was due, because a lot if us did, and she thought that was when it was due.
Got caught out, opened the flood gates and was given an opportunity to re-do it, but assisted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious. Never had this come up in my class..... though I think I might be the idiot of the class, given that I'm a fairly subpar drummer meawhile everyone else has like grade 5 theory and grade 7 piano
I did GCSE music and I remember we had done "theme and variation" composition projects in earlier terms (one was taking twinkle twinkle little star and composing five variations, for example.) So if we were to give them the benefit of the doubt they might have been referring to something like this, in which case it's not necessarily such a stupid question.
Back in high school, a younger kid (we were 17, he was 15) I would see occasionally in the library came over and started talking to my friend and me.
We had been discussing pizza toppings, and meats came up. My friend said he likes pepperoni on pizza, and without missing a beat - totally deadpan and serious, this kid said "pepperoni's not a meat, you idiot. It's a type of ham."
We started laughing, thinking he was kidding, but he had that puzzled look on his face, questioning why we were laughing.
I never knew how many people thought "meat" was JUST beef and that everything else was whatever it was, until I started carving meat on the buffet for a wedding venue. People would come up and I'd say "beef tenderloin or x" (sometimes pork loin, ham, turkey etc.), and they'd say "the meat, please." The first couple of times all I could think was is this person fucking with me? After that I went about a year saying "it's all meat, which one do you want?" Before realizing people, for some reason, think only beef is meat.
A_Drusas ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:34:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here I thought it was odd that most people think fish isn't meat.
Though that at least has some historical context. Large dinners tended to have separate meat and fish courses, and white fish is much lighter in texture than most poultry and red meats. Separating fish from "meat", and sometimes "meat" from poultry or game bird makes sense.
But I agree, its the flesh of a living animal, in broad terms its squarely in the MEAT category of the MEAT and VEG selections.
wyerae ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:14:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my sister in law came to visit recently and my husband started telling a story making fun of how many people seem to think that chicken isn't meat. Totally seriously, his sister says, "well isn't isn't really meat" and proceeded to explain to us why it isn't meat.
I can't believe how many otherwise smart, functioning people think this.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:57:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was her explanation?
wyerae ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:26:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that chickens weren't considered meat under the original Jewish kosher laws and some complicated explanation about it being lower cholesterol/saturated fat than beef. We tried to argue that whatever level of fat and however it is categorized under old kosher laws, you still have to kill a live animal to eat chicken, but somehow that didn't compute.
People have similar arguments about fish--"I'm vegetarian--I don't eat meat, just fish and veggies..." ugh.
My sisters friend once asked where the meat on an animal was. When they said "It's mostly meat" she said "No! There's muscle, fat, bones, organs and meat!". And she wasn't even the only friend like that my sister had in that group. One couldn't point out Germany on a world map, kept pointing around Russia.
I had a first year biology lab partner like this. She also thought she was "going to be a doctor" like 75% of 19 year old bio majors. She scoffed at me as a mature student going back for a second degree to teach highschool bio.
I had to ask this question of my dad when I was about 5 or 6. I am thinking to myself, animals contain muscles, bones, organs etc, but I was confused as to where "the meat" was. Thankfully he told me the truth, that it was the muscles.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone looks at him like wtf is going through your head...
"Well why else would the make flavored condoms?"
Edit:
1. RIP my inbox.
(2) Fixed up the grammatical issue. I do apologize if it upset anyone. It wasn't intentional.
(3) Then a bit more context. This didn't take place in like grade 6. We were about 16. It wasn't some kid who might not have known. The guy who asked it was reasonably sexually experienced.
[deleted] ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 16:14:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you do it right, you're not supposed to have shit inside your ass when you're getting fucked in it, if you do you're gonna get the old slime sausage when you pull out.
I accidentally clicked this the other day, and I've been debating whether or not it was immoral to share it. I decided I don't deserve to suffer alone.
Aww, dude, WAT??? WHY?!? I fucking hate you so much right now, on a personal level.. I'd like to fuck you in the ass with a sandpaper condom while your Nana's reanimated corpse squats above you and farts gravedust and maggots into your mouth. That's how fucking upset your fucking gif made me.
1pngti2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:08 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great now that image is haunting me. But wow what a response! ๐
This is like saying you can get all the saliva out of your mouth.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:59:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really... your rectum doesn't store shit until you need to go (that's the sensation of needing a shit), it's stored further up. You also don't have glands that produce shit either.
As long as you went for a shit in the last hour or so and you're clean, you'd be fine because there's no shit in there, it's just the rectal wall. If you wipe for ages because there's an endless amount of shit on the tissue or you feel like you've not finished going, you probably need more fibre in your diet so your turds come out clean and easy in 1 go, not leaving half of it inside you and all over your hole. That's just nasty. There might be a tiny amount really far inside but that's not really a common event and in any case you can use enemas etc to get that.
Source: Bi guy who knows what he's doing in the butt department.
You have proven to me that 99% of the shit can be removed from an ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can remove it all if you have explosive shits...! But yeah, a regular movement will empty you out well enough - if you're worried you can also clean yourself with water internally but it's not usually needed unless you have a shitty diet or something.
Also your username is very relevant. Mudwhistle is a great slang term for a butthole.
Feel the need to thank you for that, I was about a week away from Googling some weird stuff.
Scruzzer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:18:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot more tastes and smells other than shit going on, even when showered. I would not want taste buds on my cock all the time. Maybe just on occasion when feeling trashy.
Source: I have taste buds on my tongue and my tongue has tasted hairy manhole.
As a gay guy, let me say it's not that inconvenient. Definitely no enema is necessary unless you have an obsessive partner. The purpose of the rectum is to hold things, and the colon actually doesn't provide a continuous flow, but rather only moves periodically. Yes, that's why they call it a "bowel movement."
Spontaneous sex can be managed. The bottom just has to be proactive, asking themselves an hour or two beforehand whether they think sex is possible or probable. If so, why not take a discreet moment to take care of things, or at least rule out the possibility? Further, any conscientious top isn't going to mind if their partner needs to excuse themselves for a moment so they can both enjoy each other afterwards.
As for bacteria (other than STDs) I wouldn't worry about it. They'll grow back. No one gets deep enough to mess that ecology up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't, I've read it can screw up your insides (the bacteria) so I just avoid it.
If you've gone within the hour though you should be fine as long as you've got enough fibre in your diet.
tl;dr: the gun won't fire unless there's a round in the chamber and you'd know if there was
more people would stick their dick in a girls ass than rub their tongue around it, if you have taste buds on your dick then the stats would change to rimming being preferred.
Everyone I know who worked in kitchens has done this..."Prep this box of jalapenos? Right away chef! ...[chop chop slice slice]...I'm done, gotta go urinate"
And then cursing and screaming at the universe for forgetting to wash your hands BEFORE peeing. Genitals and capsasin should not mix kids...unless you have that kind of fetish.
KayBee10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought they were for girls that smelled and tasted like the parts of the catch fisherman throw back crossed with keith richards infected hep heroin needles.
Wrap it, stick it in, and then pretend its a tastefully artful fruit bowl like your mom used to keep on the kitchen counter, less waxy but with your mom still downing her fifth bottle of wine and wondering why the divorce was faster this time in the background.
You must also wear a satin glove while you smack dat booty.
temalyen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The interesting thing about this is, who provides the condom with a prostitute? Like, I can see both people wanting to use their own condom because they don't trust a condom from the other person. There's sick fucks out there who like tampering with condoms.
I don't know about the hypothetical hooker I would be going to, but I can't stand the artificial fruit taste that many things have, namely banana and strawberry...
Though, on second thought, they would probably like it more than the taste of a non-flavored condom or whatever dirty dick they might be hobbing...
I highly doubt a woman who sucks and fucks guys professionally, for money, is gonna give two shits about the condoms flavor. As if she wouldn't be used to it already.
I have learned they can turn black and rot though. Had an abscess on the fold between my thigh and balls that kept re-occuring. Dr warned me not to fuck around and come back quick if it gets worse, then told me to google Fourniers gangrene as to why I should be quick if the abscess got worse.
also dont google that if you have a weak stomach and dont want to see mangled rotting testicles.
I feel you, man. I went to a Catholic school and all we learned from Sex ED was, "you don't need birth control because you won't have sex until you're married but once you do please have 11 children and raise them all Catholic, pretty please. "
Same here. We started sex ed in 5th grade. Anonymous questions were so fun back then.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here and in 5th grade it was actual taught to the boys by the principal and girls a teacher I think.
joh2141 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a fairly left leaning area too and they didn't really teach too much except the science aspect of the penis to vagina. Then basically reading off a list of ways a child of 10 years old (that's when we got sex ed) can protect himself or herself from strangers who might try to molest or rape you or persuade you into sexual acts. But it was described like "Don't let anyone do anything icky to you here and here. If someone tries to touch you here, don't let the icky stuff in." Shitty sex ed TBH. Abstinence or non-comprehensive sex ed just doesn't work.
I live in Texas, had our first sex ed in 4th grade that covered basics, in 7th we had the full version covering STD's, protection, kinds of sexual contact etc. As I'm under 30, it may have been different for the older people, but this is common practice even in very red states.
Sashoke ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:41:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in bumfuck Tennessee but still got really good sex ed.
I'm from a small ass town and we had really good sex ed. Low teen pregnancy also, but that has changed in last 10 years teens popping out more and more kids so many sex ed has gotten worse.
One day my little brother spouted off that the teachers told them that you could get herpes from sharing jackets and other clothing.
Ebmoclas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but didn't your parents teach you anything? My mum and dad (separate conversions) told me everything that I could possibly ever need to know about sex and sexual health. A few things I didn't think I would ever use, too. For example; The amount of girls I have had to tell to go and pee after sex has been astonishing! The look of amazement on one girls face was worth all the uncomfortable conversations with my mum. She never got another urinary tract infection from sex again, well, at east not while we were together.
Most of America doesn't live in the shithole states used to define the absurd cartoon vision of the country you see on Reddit.
semi-bro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can vary within states even. I went to school in Virginia and all I was taught was "Don't have sex or you DIE". But a district over my friends were getting in depth explanations of stuff.
joh2141 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair to the guy's comment, America DID start from a Puritan demographic of people with set principles and virtues. So his statement isn't inaccurate because he didn't really criticize America.
I live in Georgia and was given the abstinence only education. They had us pick up a card at the end we were supposed to sign as a contract to save ourselves for marriage. It was quite weird as a 12 year old.
Suburbs of Atlanta. My middle school was awful though so that probably had something to do with it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also from the state of Georgia. (In Jabumblefuck, nowhere. Not Atlanta). We didn't even have abstinence only. We had literally nothing. Our health class was about not doing drugs and not getting obese; they completely skipped the reproductive system section. We learned about zygote formation in AP Biology, if that counts, but nothing to do with humans.
I honestly wouldn't know, i learned a little from my parents. I mostly taught myself since i like to read everything i just read up on the subject myself. I teach my daughters though, i try not to sugarcoat anything for them either.
dwmfives ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just got whooshed buddy, he was making an incest joke. But good on you for educating your kids.
gwh21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah what teen didn't but seriously i read whatever i could to be more informed. In school i used to read every book from beginning to end whenever i could because i love learning new things. Honestly i just didn't wanna be the typical dumb black guy from the hood that some people down here think of when they think of my people.
Lots of us didn't. I'm in my 30s so I don't know how it is now, but I didn't learn you could get a lot of STD's through oral sex until I was in college.
It's been a while, but if I remember correctly, my Texas sex ed class mostly told us that vaginas were horrible and then showed us pictures of what would happen if we ever stuck our dick in one(cue slides of STDs). Oral wasn't ever even mentioned.
Kekoa_ok ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some schools will just throw abstinence at you and call it a day
Sex Ed through a lot of America consists of this statement: Sex is between a man and a woman who are married, and youre going to hell if you do it before you get married.
Dune17k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, there was some direct lies (about pregnancy) and rather inappropriate ways parts of it was done, for example when all the boys had to vote (anonymously) what girl they would want to have sex with most, and then went and read up the results to the girls.
A rather detailed part of the lesson was about different fruits going into different holes, and questions to the boys if they had been playing around with it...
Aceroris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was about the banana and the condom.
Not quite. Genital herpes only refers to herpes on the genitalia. However, you can get type one or type two in either location. So yeah, you can get herpes from the genitals to grow in your face, but it's not called genital herpes anymore.
thats how you get it in raw. They suck your dick, then they ask you to use a condom, and you teach them that they would already be fucked because they just sucked your dick, so now it's ok to go raw.....
patmayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, not that I know of. I had a doctor ask me about my sex "history" and I told her I was once given a blowjob, she asked if I had used protection and I said no. She mentioned it and said to go get tested, but I had exams so I have not done it yet
patmayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, it was a joke. The hard way would have been. Having a nasty rash or itch or even something worse. In all honesty of you're not promiscuous, which I gather you're not then you will be fine and not need any sort of check up but you can never be top sure. Good luck and here's to many more BJs for you mate.
patmayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BTW it's usually if the giver has some sort of disease, so maybe something on the lips or mouth. It's very rare so please don't worry too much about getting checked out but do get checked out if you are worried. (way to ruin an experience huh?)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
joh2141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bro... You can get STD's technically without having sex or even having oral sex. Just make your penis (or vagina) real dirty and don't shower and let all kinds of bacteria and viruses and microbes and fungi grow down there.
Most common blowjob STD infection I believe is herpes IIRC. Can't cold sores and canker sores cause herpes to arise?
Also aware that herpes can spread to the eyes as well (I learned this disturbing condition reading about a new fetish in Japan where people suck other people's eyeballs and lick it. They transmit herpes via this method to develop ocular herpes.
Cold sores are herpes, I think theres only a 2% chance of people contracting genital herpes on their mouth, H1 and H2 have an affinity for certain glands in your pelvis and neck they don't particularly like to switch locations. You can in fact get herpes in your eye. But all this to say, it aint all that bad(never had it in my eye though, sounds unpleasant).
Man, prostitutes are more careful with their junk than anyone else. Meanwhile Stacy and Joe get laid every weekend at bars and clubs and don't wrap their sausage and meat curtain combo when they serve it to the latest customers
toastee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, I mean if fucking 12 dudes a day counts as careful...
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:50:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well whoring is a well-regulated and legitimate business in many places, though I doubt they would refer to themselves professionally as whores. If you're visiting a German prostitute after partying at a nightclub in Hamburg and wandering about outside before deciding to pay for a โฌ50 suck and fuck, the least your drunk ass can do for your new business partner is to not have your dick taste like a soggy schnitzel brรถtchen.
Sex workers typically carry their own protection. Gloves, lube, condoms, female condoms, dental dams. Though to be honest I've only known sex workers from the more privileged part of society (white with bachelors degrees).
Mid teens and a mate discretely asked me for a condom whilst we were out with the group.
I gave him a look (he was a virgin at the time, so far as I knew).
He gave me a strange look back, which I couldn't decipher.
His girlfriend was in earshot so he didn't explain it and I didn't press.
Later he told me that she'd given him a blowjob after he put one on (at her request).
I asked him how it was.
It's definitely a LITTLE bit the condoms fault. I can't feel shit in a condom either. I usually don't get off. I still use em but if I were in a long term relationship and she was on BC I definitely wouldn't
Yeah there's no point in using a condom if she's on a reliable birth control. Condoms suck ass.
[deleted] ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 15:48:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Birth control isn't always effective. Just remember that. It's 99% effective and there are many things that make that number drop. You still need to be careful.
It's also just common sense. If BOTH parties use one method, you both have a redundancy if one forgets. If both are used properly, it also decreases the risk from "statistically unlikely to fail" to "borderline impossible to fail".
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still, even a 99.9% chance of safety snowballs. Have sex 100 times, and it's 0.999100 = 90% chance. You have 1 in 76543210 chance to win the lottery, yet someone wins sometimes.
If you want to be really, really safe, have an emergency abortion fund and choose partners ready for it and be mature about it.
Edit: I don't know shit
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:11:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Meetchel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:15:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The percentages take this into account. If a condom says it's 97% effective, that means regular use over a year will elicit a 3% chance of a pregnancy. Same with BC. Your statistics, while mathematically correct, assume otherwise.
Beegrene ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many fucks per year is that figure assuming?
Meetchel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:54:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Average number of fucks. It's based off actual stats of large cross-section of people.
If so I must be incredibly lucky for not impregnating my girl when we use two forms of birth control, since we've had sex thousands of times and by your calculation it's a miracle of biblical scale she hasn't gotten pregnant.
imperabo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps. But considering the fact that that choice and process is an unpleasant one even if there's absolutely no real desire to not have one, it seems wise to avoid it as much as a person reasonably can. Especially since it's a choice that pretty much no one is certain they would make once they actually face it. Let alone that the girl you're with is certain to want one.
Eh I think like most things in life, it totally depends on the situation. From personal experience, just doing BC has worked really well. My boyfriend aren't really in a long term relationship, since we're splitting up when we graduate. But I am absolutely 100% having a kid rn lol, and also have no qualms about getting an abortion done.
I think it's a really good balance between pleasure and responsibility. Sex is way better without condoms, and in the small off chance there's an accident, we are ready to hit the clinic.
Haha nah it's a good thing. We both love kids. It was going to happen eventually. I had just planned on being married first. Just a happy little accident.
Beegrene ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:18:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should name the kid Bob Ross if he's a happy little accident.
I plan on quoting you when I argue with people about abortions.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:54:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pullout plus BC is 99.999% effective. Drop those numbers.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah tell my girlfriend and me that. Just had that occur while being super safe about it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not on me if your GF is skipping her birth control bud.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't skip and I pulled out brother. That shit just happens which is why it isn't 100% effective.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're an idiot. Pregnancy while on birth control happens often enough. If it didn't happen they wouldn't account for the 1%. Maybe you're not just not fucking enough for that percent to matter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually our boy died at 5 months but thanks for being witty online.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:17:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's me that's the asshole.
It's really easy to see how pathetically immature and empty your life is by your comments.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want your sympathy. You're a nobody who thinks he's slick on the internet. I'm just letting you know the reality of what you're making fun of. If you left your parents basement once in a while you might not have such a big mouth online to strangers. I get it though. You can't say anything in real life because you're a pussy. So you get it out online with the gift of anonymity.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:24:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the issue with that though is that women change their minds and then you're stuck.
Have you tried different condoms? I definitely don't think they feel like a garbage bag... although I've never tried a garbage bag.
I was commenting about taking the risk every single time. Men never face that "Shit my period is late am I pregnant" fear or the "I'm so upset we broke up I have no appetite and feel queasy all the time... or am I pregnant? Shit, I better take 5 pregnancy tests" fear.
Another commenter says he'd be happy to pay for the abortion but that's just money out of his pocket. It is an invasive procedure for a woman, and even before you get to that part your body has already started changing.
If you're a man and you're not faced with all that worry and the potential for your body to start changing to host a baby.... I can see why you'd take that risk every single time. Pretty sure I wouldn't see many women saying that though.
Lol... Yeah men are always super chill if they think they're about to have an unplanned child. I get that it's a much more visceral, emotional experience for a woman. Trust me, I do. But you have to acknowledge that men can be tied into supporting a child they didn't want for 18 years without their consent. The prospect of an unplanned pregnancy is terrifying for us too, just in different ways. If we say we'd take the risk, we are still calculating a very definite, serious risk.
Don't forget that the pill isn't the only method of birth control. Shots and implants and IUD's are all very effective and harder to fuck up. They're much more reliable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend friend wants to get an Implanon shot so that I can cum inside, they say 100% effective, so I shouldn't worry... Right??
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:49 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't cum inside her regardless of what she used for birth control.
joh2141 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually solely relying on BC dramatically increased the rates of STD infections so you have to practice really good hygiene if you still aren't using condoms and you have frequent sex.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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joh2141 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:48:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, AND if you're both for sure clean and not sleeping with others of course. They do for sure suck ass though. I don't care what commercials say, they reduce sensation quite a bit, smell weird, and they really do take you out of the moment sometimes. Every now and then my gf would initiate while we were in the shower and I'd have to run to my bedroom for a condom. Or we'd take some in with us but it wasn't as fun to plan out seemingly spontaneous sex.
Actually, there's no reason to use a condom at all if STDs aren't your concern.
I can't find the website, but I was very surprised to learn that the CDC conducted a study and people who practice the pull-out method experience roughly the same success rate at avoiding pregnancy as those who use condoms.
The most effective birth controls were the things like IUDs and the pill. They had rates of 0.1/100 and 1/100 respectively. But both condoms and pulling out were sitting at about 4/100.
EDIT: So I went and found the site. Turns out they've updated it in 2016.
Rates of pregnancy prevention for condoms range from 18-21 pregnancies per 100, and pulling out is 22 per 100.
Still roughly as effective, and also not the least effective method of pregnancy prevention.
Thanks Doctor! Now I'll DEFINITELY start wearing condoms and not enjoying sex with my partner because there's a highly unlikely chance that birth control and pulling out won't work used in tandem AND plan B doesn't work...
Eh, it's the condoms fault. Wearing a condom during a blow job is like taking a plate of the finest french cheeses and crackers and spraying Cheese Whiz on it.
XDresser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really do not think that that metaphor does the injustice justice. I would propose that wearing a condom during a blow job is like taking a plate of the finest french cheeses and discarding them completely and replacing them with a latex condom, flavored or unflavored.
Yes, the finest french cheeses are exactly as pleasant to eat as is receiving a blow job. That's, that's what I'm trying to get across here.
They are shit but functional. Some infections can pass to the mouth/throat. Notably HPV which is a right cunt of a thing going as far as literally causing cancer.
LOL, no. A condom basically cuts your sensitivity in half. If you're circumcised there's basically no chance a condom blowjob will do anything at all for you.
2OP4me ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain. First GF for me, didn't know what I had or what I lost till it was too late.
2OP4me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The girl I dated was absolutely amazing in every other way :/ We broke up because of distance and how much pain it would cause on us to maintain a long distance relationship. It was um... Recent.
Same here. My first GF was great in bed, had a really high sex drive, was chill as fuck, shared almost all my interests, was willing to give me space when I needed, and was just about perfect for me in every way I can measure. I left her because I didn't want to only ever have dated one person in my life, and I've never found her match or anyone even close since.
From a female perspective, condoms make no sensory difference. [edit: What would I know! Apparently they're universally disliked.]
From a male perspective, there's nothing as overrated as a bad shag, or as underrated as a good wank. I'd rather do the 5 knuckle shuffle than fuck wearing a wetsuit.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:42:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the point of sex for me is skin to skin contact.
Yeah, to me it's more than a simple "bare feels better" - it's supposed to be the peak of intimacy. Still having something separating you rather defeats that purpose.
Exactly, at least with my primary partner. A bit of fun with others can be different, and condoms become a practical concern, but with my primary, skin to skin all the way. I need that intimacy.
awhaling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your edit doesn't even matter, because he's talking about how the blowjob would still feel like nothing through a condom. You can't get pregnant from a blowjob.
JajieQin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was still a kid in school my mum found a condom in my wallet while looking doing my laundry. She looked at me with anger very clear on her face and she asked, "What the hell is this?"
I guess I found the situation funny because I just blurted out ,"Banana Flavored", and started laughing.
If there's no open sores on either party and he doesn't finish in her mouth or mucous membranes, and you wash off afterwards[1], I'm pretty sure you have a near zero chance of contracting anything. The most at-risk party is likely the giver of the oral getting HPV to the throat.
[1] that's relevant to HPV, which a man can contract from P-V sex with a condom, by not washing around the base of his penis, taint, etc.
If there's no open sores on either party and he doesn't finish in her mouth or mucous membranes, and you wash off afterwards[1], I'm pretty sure you have a near zero chance of contracting anything.
Nope. Herpes, remember? Also, infections such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Syphilis like the throat too. And pre-cum carries infectious material as well.
An extremely small amount. Is it possible? Yes. Likely? Not even close
DPSOnly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recall Sex ED from highschool and I believe the giver is most at risk. Don't recall the exact workings anymore, but there are some membranes at the back of the throat that have something to do with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the link, i did some more research on it too. From what I read, it seems that while HPV is the main cause of anal cancer, the anal pap test is not a conclusive test for HPV more so than for anal cancer alone. It also seems to not have consistently conclusive test results, and apparently no widely decided algorithm to test effectively. While results can occasionally show cells that are or might become cancerous, it just doesn't seem to work very well. Still didn't know that existed though.
To be fair, I imagine it would make cleanup a lot easier. When I give my boyfriend BJs there's always the question of "well, where is he going to cum". Unless you're a swallower every time, of course.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 15:42:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God. My boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend will not swallow or do anal. I mean I get not wanting to do anal because (from what I've heard when they get drunk) he has a giant monster cock, but seriously she won't swallow or let him come on her face?? I have always heard that not swallowing is the greatest insult you can give a man.
Damn just tell him to eat some pineapple. It's in your mouth for like two seconds anyway, right? I e had gross jizz before but you can just chase it with a drink of something
I have always heard that not swallowing is the greatest insult you can give a man.
Um, while swallowing is preferable for most men, that is definitely something some men say to make getting head better. My body just makes the jizz, it's not like I prepared and flavored it just to you. Spitting it out isn't exactly an insult. Or they have a really weird ego problem.
I don't know how it is for most guys but after I cum from a bj, I don't give a single fuck about where it goes or what she wishes to do with it. I don't think it's insulting not to swallow, but that's just how I feel. Now having to wear a condom for a bj? Hells to the no!
You sound like you learned about sex from porn. It should not shock you that many women (and men) are not porn stars and are not interested in fucking like them.
Specifically the kind that comes on condoms, referring to condoms making clean up easier. I'm really freaked out by anything I perceive as sticky though, so I'm probably not very good at objectively judging that kind of thing.
I don't know what your area may be like but my girlfriend, we're both in college, wasn't sure if you could get pregnant from a blowjob or not. She's smart, her sex ed was just terrible. So she may have had a fear like that.
I know. I love the comments about trust in a relationship when the original comment was about a "poor lad" trying to hook up with a girl at a party and she wanted to protect herself. Deep, loving and trusting relationships are now people you met 10 minutes ago at a party who want to suck your dick.
No wonder there's been an uptick in stis: https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats/sti-estimates-fact-sheet-feb-2013.pdf
True, but I just meant that you should be able to trust your partner that they're being honest with you. If you're clean, and your boyfriend/girlfriend says that they're clean, you don't need to worry about condoms besides to prevent pregnancy.
If one of you has an STI, that's obviously a different situation but the idea of honesty still applies. You should be able to trust your partner to let you know if they have something.
There are many STDs which are asymptomatic and people don't know they have. One could still be concerned about getting STDs whether they trust their partners or not. Even if you show each other test results, there is still some cause for concern as there are some STDs where the tests are pretty bad (or the doc refuses to give them, common in the case of HSV 1 and 2).
eventually I think you gotta say "If I want sex at all I have to take some risk" but being concerned about STDs is not necessarily a matter of trust.
Yeah, this. Lots of people never know that they have an STD at all. They don't test men for HPV, and a large percentage of cases are either asymptomatic or present with generalized symptoms. A regular STD panel doesn't test for herpes, either, so even if someone has been tested they don't necessarily know if they've got herpes. You can trust someone to not knowingly give you a STD, but trusting them not to give you one at all is like trusting them not to give you the flu.
If no cold sore is present the virus can still be contacted about 18 days in the year due to viral shedding. Also, you can catch chlamydia and gonorrhea
As /u/petmaster said, herpes can sometimes be transmitted without a visible sore, but they could also have a visible sore in an invisible spot, like inside their mouth under their lip or on the roof of their mouth. Do you perform an oral exam on people before you put your dick in their mouth? Besides chlamydia, genital warts, and gonorrhoea, you can also catch syphilis, hep a/b/c, and pubic lice.
If you're with someone you shouldn't have to wear a condom for them to blow you. Jesus lol. What kind of relationships are you guys even in where you can't trust that your partner doesn't have an STI?
I agree, but her mother being the way she is honestly probably just didn't think about it talking to her about it. And her father definitely just wants to pretend she'll never do anything sexual ever.
No she didn't. And once I told her she did blow me and she continues to. Never underestimate the powers of conservatives in putting disinformation in the minds of people.
Ha you fool, US politics is either red or blue, left or right, all the way one way or the other. There is no spectrum and if you don't identify with either side you're stupid and your vote doesn't count!
Syphon8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex ed has nothing to do with family values. It's education which is a state issue. Sex ed doesn't promote sex, it teaches safe practices. The rest is up to the individual.
You're right. She is a terrible liar. That's how I know she wasn't lying. I know her, you don't, I know for a fact that wasn't the issue. She wanted to. So sorry bud, but you're just flat out wrong.
My much older sister gave me a dental dam when I was around 16. I don't really remember what she even said, but I just remember it being a turquoise color and smelled heavily of latex. She said it was important to use, but I still to this day can't imagine oral sex through latex. I think it was also already unwrapped when she gave it to me.
It's not for during sex, it's after. If your girl decides to give you a blowjibber after sex, neither she nor anyone else wants the taste of latex residue. Grape Soda or banana split on the other hand? You betcha
Apparently during the HIV crisis in the 80's when people didn't really know what was going on it was a practice that some people chose to do to mitigate risk.
WTF? Do you really think it is super safe to practice oral sex without a condom in every situation? How old are you? What kind of sex ed. did you receive?
I dated a girl who would only go down on me if I was wearing a condom. She was very afraid of STDs. I didn't date her long enough to get to the "let's both get tested" milestone.
miranto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lactose intolerant people won't do the honors without you wearing one.
rom8n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a virgin, and all my friends confirmed this, to one of my exes. Then, one night, when we're both pretty frisky shy pulls out a flavored condom. I'm confused, and she said, "I want to give you head, but I don't know if you're clean" - I've never had sex or a bj before this. And I would need to get clinic papers to get a bj without a condom. AND she got the wrong sized condoms (either that, or condoms just hurt).
I'm guessing it's for after you stick it somewhere. A lot of girls have complained about the taste of my dick after a condom has been on it even though they were happy with the "taste" before it went on.
More than 50 percent of the adult population in the US has oral herpes (cold sores/fever blisters), and it can be spread to the genitals during oral sex.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always always assumed flavored condoms were for after sex if the girl is finishing him off with her mouth. Normal latex condoms are fucking disgusting, and the taste lingers.
boojie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's to put flavor in the vag so you can eat it out and not have condom flavor
eye_spi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who understand that STIs can be present without symptoms and transmitted by oral/genital contact, mostly. Also people with a latex fetish.
Ppleater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you're being playful with foreplay the flavoured condoms are probably specifically for a blowjob that's supposed to be tasty without the mess of food. It's not that you need the condom for a BJ, it's that you're using a flavoured condom to make a flavoured BJ.
Hypain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never gotten a bj with a condom on... Fuck that shit. I thought the flavored condoms were for the guy to eat her out after he fucked her.. So I guess I'm an idiot too
As a girl who once got an STD from giving a blowjob--any of my current and future partners do.
andrihu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with this guy who told us that his wife would refuse to give him a blowjob unless he was wearing a condom. Yet they had 5 kids by the age of 25. True story
I have herpes. As do most people... It's on my mouth. I don't suck cock being as I am a grade one heterosexual (which is annoying. I find men more intellectually stimulating. But I can't fuck them cos I'd be sick), but if I did.. that cock would get herpes eventually.
Yeah but the kid's creative as a rock. I definitely thought of stuff I wanted to do with all the pretty girls, even if I didn't fully understand it. Maybe I was just a horndog from a young age. Maybe I'm seriously fucked up. But it seemed pretty natural to me to think "Oh I bet if I stuck it in her mouth it would feel good."
Actually, the more I think about it, the more I realize how weird that is. Should I get help?
I like the way that it's almost sensical to say it the other way around
Why do they make flavored condoms?
Do vaginas have tastebuds?
squawly ยท 395 points ยท Posted at 14:13:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, when I was growing up, we convinced one of my friends that the reason they make flavoured condoms was because vaginas have taste buds... No idea how long he believed that one for
Edit: missing word
icay4321 ยท 681 points ยท Posted at 14:35:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently until health class when he asked.
Augenis ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:52:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Small world
rotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. The urethra is actually separate from the vagina, which contains the taste buds. So a woman can only taste something if she actually inserts it into her vagina. That is actually why cucumbers are a popular improvised dildo. That light refreshing taste is enjoyable.
Tue. Because (currently) "sensical" isn't a word. So therefore, the word would be "sensible", especially if I was some sort of game show host reading off a card.
It doesn't matter how popular "sensical" is (Google doesn't seem to provide any hint that it'll be imminently given space in a dictionary), it's still not a word.
Never claimed it to be a word. I stated Sensible isnt the word he was looking for. Because if it was, he found it and still didnt use it. So not sure why you are switching your argument up. This wasnt ever about if its a word. Its about the fact he wasnt trying to say sensible.
Yeah, you're correct. My original comment called to attention that "sensible" is the word used in the above context, not "sensical". The subtext of this would be because I didn't recognise "sensical" as a word, which you have pointed out it's not.
Regardless, this is a ridiculous thing to be getting into an internet debate about...
You're telling me. I've literally got 24 minutes, then I'm off for four days straight and not back in the office until next Friday.
Vanetia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is sensical not a word but nonsensical is?
I call foul on the English language!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same reason we don't say something "makes nonsense" but we commonly say it "makes sense."
Vanetia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:48:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But nonsense is a word. You can say "that's nonsense!"
Still calling foul :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And interestingly, you don't say "That's sense!" You say "That's sensible!"
Sense is a more versatile word, and has multiple definitions. Nonsense is a mutated antonym of a specific definition of its parent and lacks the breadth of usage. You can't properly flip usage of nonsense back to sense because the former is a modifier noun, while the latter has never been one.
At least, that's my take on it. I'm not a linguistics professor.
Syphon8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sensical is a valid English word. It's the antonym of nonsensical.
Some say it isn't valid or hasn't been accepted yet, likely based on the result you get from this Google search... but if you follow the top link you will see one person pointed this out:
"Sensical" is in fact a valid antonym for nonsense. It is a word, and you can use it. It is in the Oxford English Dictionary. It's use is traced back to 1797. It is equated to "sensible." My version is the 23rd US Printing, 1984 the Micrograph edition. You may find the word on page 2,728.
So Google saying "It isn't officially a word yet" referencing that thread as a source is simply wrong. I'm pretty sure that Google result has falsely perpetuated that Sensical is not a real word for five years now because it appears in many dictionaries.
It's been a recognized English word since 1797 and everybody understands what you mean when you say it. There's no room for disagreement here at this point.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:25:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Online Oxford English Dictionary doesn't have a definition of sensical. Searching for it takes you to the page for sense.Nonsense and nonsensical have their own definitions, though. I feel like if many dictionaries had the word in it, one of them would come up on an online search.
It seems there is room for disagreement. We'd need to find a 1984 OED to confirm that guy's story, and I don't have one handy.
Bonus story: sometimes, after I have sex doggy style the air getting shoved up there makes my vagina fart on its way out. Totally ruins the post-sex glow.
A guy I used to work with told me some very wise and sage advice that I try to live up to " if she doesn't let out a queef after sex, then you haven't done your job right"
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically this girl has a terrifying set of teeth in her snatch and she bites off dudes' dicks. In one scene I think this guy's dick lands on the floor and a dog eats it.
Mac22y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
vagina dentata
Adorali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is a penis rearing up and eating its way out of a pair of underwear really less terrifying?
irotsoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In like 4th or 5th grade or so, a friend of mine (a girl, I'm a guy) described a vagina using her banana clip hair thing, looks like this. I think about that every so often and it freaks me out. Ouch!
sagafood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allow me to impart some wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy: I had a girl put on crotchless britches for my birthday one time. I come home, she was like, โwant some of this right here.โ I go, โNo, look what it did to your underbritches.โ
Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard.
This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell.
This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called โThe Better โOleโ that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, โOh I say, are you still down there, old thing?โ
โNah I had to go relieve myself.โ
After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.
Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in-curving hooks and started eating. He thought this was cute at first and built an act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: โItโs you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we dont need you around here any more. I can talk and eat and shit.โ
After that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly like a tadpoleโs tail all over his mouth. This jelly was what the scientists call un-D.T., Undifferentiated Tissue, which can grow into any kind of flesh on the human body. He would tear it off his mouth and the pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly and grow there, grow anywhere on him a glob of it fell. So finally his mouth sealed over, and the whole head would have have amputated spontaneous โ (did you know there is a condition occurs in parts of Africa and only among Negroes where the little toe amputates spontaneously?) โ except for the eyes you dig. Thats one thing the asshole couldnโt do was see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldnโt give orders any more. It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the brain must have died, because the eyes went out, and there was no more feeling in them than a crabโs eyes on the end of a stalk.
Some seasoned/proffesional(?) hot pepper eater and breeder that was answering questions on reddit a while back. I'll never forget that saying. As a hot sauce connoisseur myself...so true.
barsoap ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:45:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally every millimetre of skin has "capsaicin receptors"... which actually are heat receptors that get irritated the fuck out of them by capsaicin.
Which is why it's a good idea to wear nitril gloves when you're cutting lots of chillis. It takes some time and amount but capsaicin doesn't only get into mucus membranes but also thicker, ordinary, skin.
Granted this was in 8th grade, but the teacher was discussing STDs and said you could get them from oral sex. This girl was clearly confused and asked, "isn't oral sex just talking about it?"
I thought that too for a bit. It was just another term for phone sex but i started doubting my interpretation when i heard people actually did oral sex.
What u/jpgunter said, plus at the end of the year, all students across the US taking an AP class for X subject will take the same test (at the same time) and get scored on a scale of 1-5, with 3 being passing. For the most part, AP credit can count for college credit, but not all colleges will accept it (usually more selective ones). And if they do accept AP credit for college credit, you have to get a certain score for the class, which varies amongst different colleges, but will never be below a 3.
Not a teacher, but this girl I went to high school with had some zingers. Once in a basic science class she asked our teacher "so, like, if I go out into space could I catch stars and bring them back in a jar???" She was dead serious and is not mentally handicapped, she's just that ditzy.
Another one was in history and we were talking about medieval practices, something about torture came up and she gasps and interrupts, "oh my god did it hurt." Me being my angsty 16 yr old self I yelled out "No shit Rachel!" My teacher would normally have tried to punish me for that but I think the question threw him off enough to let it fly.
Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our three weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical dedication to the pope.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh dear you went to school with Madeline Bassett
Dr_D-R-E ยท 275 points ยท Posted at 13:59:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I have two:
There was a gem in my high school class who once asked, in an African Studies, class, "What is the capitol capital of Africa?" couldn't wrap her head around Africa not being a country.
In most medical schools the first 2 years are overwhelmingly classroom based, the 3rd and 4th year are doing things in the hospital, so at the beginning of the 3rd year students are kind of doe eyed around how things work. I watching an ob/gyn case using the Da Vinci robot surgical system as a 4th year student and the 3rd year student who had been following me around that day eventually asked, an hour and a half into the operation, "How does the robot know if it's doing a good enough job?" It took me a solid 40 seconds to figure out she didn't know a doctor was still controlling the machine. Maybe not super hyper common sense, but still funny.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:03:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*capital
Dr_D-R-E ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:28:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just learned "capitol" is an actual building and "capital" is the location. Good eye.
I had a client call into my work several times, in which i have to log her name each time. Every single call, she said it the same way "Africa like the country". I didn't want to correct her, you could tell she was so used to saying it that way to clarify. :(
This is outside my expertise by a significant margin but I believe that in knee replacement surgery they have a robot that does the bone cutting to make ready for the implant to be installed. Because it is critical that the cuts be done properly (e.g. at the right angles) the robot basically does the work while the surgeon monitors to make sure things don't go haywire. So the assumption that a robot has to be guided by a human is not correct.
Dr_D-R-E ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:04:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen the MAKOplasty in person, I did a burn ICU rotation instead of orthopedic surgery (don't ever catch on fire, ever) so I'm not anything close to and expert either but here's a video of them actually removing bone in the process I think you're talking about. They spend a lot of time calibrating coordinates for the surface of the bone as well as getting a CT scan of the joint so that the machine can set up parameters that the surgeon needs to keep the drill inside of, essentially a safety zone for necessary removal to take place within. Ex. if the surgeon tries drilling too far to the left, the arm locks up, essentially keeping them inside the zone where bone removal is necessary. The surgeon, through the whole process, however, is the one pulling the trigger to drill and articulating the arm. The arm just makes sure they stay in the right place and remove enough of the bone. Ultimately, though, the surgeon is still the pilot and the assumption that the robot has to be guided by a human is correct.
It's pretty cool stuff. Let me know if I outlined something different than what you were referring too, haha. :P
Unfortunately, there are quite a few adults that think that Africa is a country...
jeffbell ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The capital of Africa used to be Zama but then it moved to Carthage.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:55:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dr_D-R-E ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blah, yeah, that's annoying AF. I was gonna say something ignorant like, Well maybe Americans wouldn't recognize the shapes of individual African countries and then I realized I have no idea what shape Germany or Bolivia are, either.
I live in Cape Town, South Africa about half the time, and during the other half, when I'm abroad, I'm constantly dealing with people thinking Africa is a country, or conversely, not knowing South Africa is a country. I've gotten:
"South Africa? So what, like Kenya or Nigeria?"
"Cape Town is the capitol of Africa, right?
"I get that you're from South Africa but what country do you live in?"
As well as various other ignorant questions and comments:
"You live in Africa?! But you're not black!"
(Upon seeing photos of my houses in different African countries) "You can't fool me, that's not Africa! There's no high-rises in Africa, and there's certainly no paved roads!"
(Upon seeing photos of my wife) "They let you marry a black woman? I'm surprised they didn't kill you!"
"You're a race traitor!"
"Why would you want to live in a hell-hole like Africa? There's nothing to do but starve, cook in the sun, and get murdered."
I'll add in that almost every ignorant comment I've ever gotten came from an American. I'm not saying all Americans are ignorant, but ignorant Americans sure are vocal with their ignorance!
There was a gem in my high school class who once asked, in an African Studies, class, "What is the capitol of Africa?" couldn't wrap her head around Africa not being a country.
Besides, most countries don't have a capitol anyway.
In my senior year of high school, my marketing teacher referred to Africa as a country once... needless to say she wasn't the best teacher.
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have scoffed at other kids in primary school for assuming Africa was a big country but I didn't really stop thinking about it like that until my twenties.
Back2Bach ยท 690 points ยท Posted at 13:56:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a music appreciation class about early instruments, including the harpsichord, clavichord and virginal.
One student raised his hand and asked, quite seriously, "Is a virginal an instrument that's never been played?"
Unfortunately I had a long-standing problem with mispronunciation when I was younger that occasionally still trips me up. Compromise was "com-promise" instead of "com-pro-mize;" faรงade became "fa-kade" instead of "fa-saad;" arrogant became "ah-RO-gant" instead of "arrow-gant;" and my personal favorite, colonel was "call-o-null" instead of "kernel" (which honestly still makes no sense!). Plus many more, but like you, thankfully nuclear was never one of them either!
Did you read a lot as a kid? I had a friend in high school, brilliant girl, who learned almost her whole vocabulary from reading or watching subbed anime. This lead to mispronounced words quite often.
I did read a ton as a kid (I was that girl with her head in a book dodging kids in the hall during breaks) and I think you're right. Seems to be quite a common theme for avid readers. I'm glad I'm not the only one that sometimes fails at pronunciation!
Same problem for me! Lots of embarrassment over the years because of it.
Facade was an issue for me, too, and epitome also comes to mind. I literally thought "eh-pih-tome" and "e-pit-o-me" were two different words for over a decade.
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:33 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the most common (non-correct) pronunciation is chi-PO-tull.
That's what my family called it for years! Only one of my brothers had ever eaten there and he kept telling us about it, so none of us had actually seen the name.
Once we did, we all realized we were saying it wrong and mocked him mercilessly! ::shrugs::
I don't think I'd ever encountered the word before I heard an ad for the restaurant, because otherwise I would be in the same boat. And the best family dynamics involve merciless mocking - especially with repeated use of the incorrect pronunciation (with optional inclusion of overly-exaggerated eye rolls and/or elbow nudges) to really rub it in.
traugdor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
start saying call-o-null as quickly as you can and start to mumble
it starts to sounds like kernel and that's how we got the procunciation we have today.
That's what I suspect, but even if he was being totally serious I think it's a sign of intelligence to try and apply what you know about the meanings of other words to try and form a hypothesis for what something could mean.
When my gf told me she was pregnant the first sentence out of my mouth (after a bit of silence and she was done crying) was "Hi pregnant, I'm dad" while laughing/crying. :)
I've never heard of that instrument. I probably would've thought the same thing
tritnic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:15:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason I know what it is is because of Discworld.
"It's not a --ing harpsichord, it's a --ing virginal," growled Mr. Tulip. "One --ing string to a note instead of two! So called because it was an instrument for --ing young ladies!"
kjata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not a --ing harpsichord, it's a --ing virginal," growled Mr. Tulip. "One --ing string to a note instead of two! So called because it was an instrument for --ing young ladies!"
"My word, was it?" said one of the chairs. "I thought it was just a sort of early piano!"
"Intended to be played by young ladies," said Mr. Pin smoothly.
Thanks for the pic. I had an instrument similar to that growing up. It wasn't exactly that but it was...
Like a virginal.... Hey! touchedfortheveryfirsttime
bobr05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And for more modern history they don't move past the Depression until then. They gloss over WWI, and the whole first semester was covering the colonization of Virginia and the revolutionary war (but Virginia was the important state, nothing really critical happened anywhere else except for a couple of early scuffles in Boston). And it's the same things you learned for the last five years in a row.
Why yes, I barely learned precolonial history (or even much about non-Virginia history) until I moved to another state for 11th grade (at 16).
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:13:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had two semesters of US history in high school in the mid 80's.
(Or maybe it was two years. Now I can't remember.)
The first class was basically 1492 to 1900.
The second class consisted of approximately one week on WWI, most of the class on WWII, and the last week on post-WWII, but not past the 50's. Slight mention of Korean war, no mention of Vietnam.
The second class was taught by a man who was a veteran of WWII. He insisted on calling it "the big one" despite that normally being a reference to WWI.
I assume to him, Vietnam was "current events" not "history."
Oh god, history is my favorite subject and it's just a travesty how its taught. No other subject do you learn literally the same thing repeatedly for years with so little progress or with so low little regard actually finishing the curriculum. It's so bad that it's only now, my junior year of high school, that I mean learning about WWII. Just about all of my knowledge about it has come outside of school.
I've learned more history at the back of a public library than from any school teacher
Elivey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hated every history class I took in highschool. LOVED EVERY history class I took in college!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just imagine the year 2100, you still won't even get to learning about the 1980's. I mean, even now, history classes only get up to Vietnam War, then finals. As more decades go by, less history is learned, because of the wide gap between (re)founding of America to present day.
Sorry for the late comment, but I always tell people that I didn't know shit about modern history because I grew up in the Shenandoah Valley; because of this, we started with Jamestown and Williamsburg, spent a good chunk of time on the American Revolution, then got stuck on the American Civil War until the end of the year because we were surrounded by so much history from the time. Rehashing the same material every year also made me believe I hated history, so I never took the initiative to learn about Korea and Vietnam until I was long out of high school.
The problem with history is that it keeps happening, so you gotta keep cramming more stuff in every year. Congress needs to ban history from happening for at least 5 or 6 years so textbook writers can get things straight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, just remove the whole 1800's, and pretend slavery never happened, then you cram more stuff in. /s
My school didn't even mention anything after the American Civil War until I took AP World in high school. Then AP World talked about WW1 and WW2 in the same Chapter (meaning we covered both in 1 week).
As a Canadian I thought AP classes were supposed to good classes. What was the start point of the course? The US Civil War? When I had to take Canadian history in gr 10 we probably spent a month or a month in half on ww1/2 not including the inter war years
Curt04 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:42:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a High School in a US state not known for having good education and we spent an adequate time on the big events. Idk where that guy went to school or if he is just full of shit. The US has little national guidance for states or local school districts to follow so things vary a lot.
bioqueer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because of the lack of curriculum guidance you can miss out on a lot by moving. In ninth grade I transferred schools 3 months into the year and completely missed WWI. I still to go back and teach myself history to make up for how piecemeal my education was.
bioqueer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have read science common core standards and designed CC compliant lesson plans for a nonprofit to bring to classes, don't get why everyone hates it so much.
Yes the testing is a PITA but the standards are really well written and planned to build off each other
Sorry I think I explained it badly. The class was an AP World History class so it covered pretty much all of human history. Still, only 1 week on both of them combined is bad. They didn't bring up the world wars prior to taking AP World.
In his defense, not everyone pays attention to that. Back when I was a Jehovah's Witness, I didn't even know when Christmas was. I knew it was in December but that was about it.
PA. I like teaching but im not a huge fan of my current school. Dont think MS is for me. Just be aware teaching has changed a lot in recent years, the test takes priority over everything
RoboPup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:52 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that's the first time I've heard of a Martin Luther King Day.
ImVFD ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 14:44:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one day, in science class, we were talking about water, and If there was no more water left to drink, what could we do.
A guy just said: "Well, we could always drink juice"
Tojax_ ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
French royalty lives on through that guy.
Houseton ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:01:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you look at it like this. Is there no water left anywhere including in stuff? Then humans are dead because we'd have no water left in us. If there is no water (like in wells or rivers/oceans) but there is still plants, we could juice the plants/fruit for the little water they'd have remaining in them depending on when water ran out.
I was only student teaching at the time. It was a high school biology class on human reproduction unit. We are talking about sperms. My mentor teacher asked "so what is the purpose of glucose in human sperm?" A student replied in a genuine manner: "so it tastes sweet?"
If you want to be incredibly generous, that's marginally plausible - if you assume that oral sex makes for happier/more stable couplings, then anything that encourages it could end up generically selected for.
Not bad, but does rely on the assumption that happier/more stable couplings leads to more babies than unhappy couplings. Not sure if that's the case haha.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:49:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Acceptable context: Doing a physics problem with many steps, got the wrong solution due to a math error (or something dumb like that), and ask if you change the final answer will everything else be right- i.e asking if changing the solution is the only problem or were there errors in the process as well
Are you a teacher? Because that would be an instant red flag. That shit can go nasty real quick, and it's always your fault. (Not saying you are doing something wrong, just a heads up to teachers)
not much story to tell. I used to float around helping different students here and there, and she seemed to like my explanations and enthusiasm and things. Started asking more and more questions, some of which seemed like they were kind of... time-wastey. Year went on she would actually leave her class and teacher and come over to mine at the opposite end of the room to come and chat to me about basically nothing (more than one class in the same space). She was awesome but I couldn't bring myself to go there for some weird reason.
Obligatory not teacher, but with my own ears, I heard one of my classmates ask "Were there cars in Ancient Greece?"
That same student went on that year with jewels like "If you get in a bad car accident can you break a chromosome?"
This one isn't even a question but the last thing I heard of that student before I left was (in class, to a teacher, during a lecture) "if we turned out all the lights, it would be dark in here."
That chromosome question actually sounds pretty interesting, how damaged would your DNA be by a car crash? I know it probably wouldn't cause any significant damage for one cell to break a chromosome, but does blunt trauma cause damage to chromosomes?
Culinary Arts instructor here- I had a young commis ask me "Chef, if people don't kill people; guns kill people... Doesn't that mean that toasters don't toast toast; toast toasts toast?"
Not a teacher, but in Biology in 9th grade a girl asked, "You mean people in China aren't standing upside-down?"
She legitimately thought people on the other side of the Earth stood on their heads. For something like 2.5 years this girl was in the running to be our valedictorian because she just soaked up whatever the teacher said like a sponge. She was real dumb and had zero common sense.
Correct. That comment from the teacher is what sparked her confusion. During the back and forth she admitted that she thought they were on their heads.
Then what's the point of even acquiring knowledge in the first place? And how could you make it through school by not understanding the concepts? Actually, scratch that. I could see it happening. All you'd have to do is to do well on tests and such.
Obligatory "not a teacher" disclaimer but two things come to mind.
1) More than half way through our two-year American History course (with the same students and teacher the whole time), someone raised his hand and asked "Who is this Amer guy and how is he still around?" That was how our teacher abbreviated America
2) This one is actually a response to a question. We were reading a novel about WWII and a student asked, "I know this is off topic, but we never really talk about WWI, why did it start?" This other student whips around and says, "You idiot, there was no WWI!" That one became pretty infamous.
Let me give you a bit of context first. I teach Social Science in Sweden, ages 16-18, and this particular question came from an 18-yr old.
We had been working on a theme about crime, punishment, legislation, and we had devoted a couple of hours on the issue of file-sharing - whether it should be legal/illegal, the morality of it etc, so on the test I included a question about file-sharing. Both because I knew we had covered it in class, and because I knew that every single one of them was "guilty" of file-sharing. ;-)
As I always do when handing out a text or quiz, I ask my students to read all questions before starting to answer them. As they started reading the questions, one of them looks up at me and asks:
"Mr Iloathwinter, what is file-sharing?"
There was a moment of complete and utter silence in the class-room, and then his classmates opened up on him, and my god, they were savage!
The thing is, he just experienced a temporary brain-freeze (test-nerves probably), and I could see it in his eyes right after he asked the question, that it dawned on him - you know that "Oh SHIT!"-expression!
To his credit, he took it like a champ, just sat there and nodded as he got roasted so bad not even the best burn ward would've taken him in as salvageable.
Edited for typos: "..ages 16-8.." Eight!! face-palms
I think you meant to reply to me. I agree some backlash is totally fine. But he describes it as though they relentlessly tore the kid down. I think op probably just exaggerated to make the story more interesting
Well, both yes and no. The other kids were pretty savage, but I knew this particular kid both could take it in good humour ('cuz he knew he posed a dumb-ass question), and that he could dish it out himself, so I let the other kids have their moment, but I never let it get out of control, i.e. to the point that it got actually hurtful.
He said the kid took it like a champ but that doesn't mean the kid was not upset. Most kids won"t actually show that it is bothering them because then they will get made fun of for that. Also, what he describes as the most brutal roast of someone doesn't sound like banter
ffngg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:24:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are pretty chill. Depending on the class they probably wouldn't roast someone they're not sure would take it.
Having some kid take the brunt of a teenage banter war was probably very anxiety-relieving for the other students, which really helps them right before a test.
I'm just really glad that the kid who got torn into was cool with it and I hope he did well on the test too.
Is a "C" grade is considered good work in your country? In America, it's only Fair/Average.
Ribo19 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:38:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweden has a different grading system with the grades A/B/C/D/E/F, Where F is fail, E is just passing, D is between C and E, C being the middle ground between acing and just passing etc
I mean he describes it as the most brutal roast of a kid who just had a momentary dumb moment. He isn't exactly promoting an open educational environment
Actually it was with that class. This was just a moment of test-nerves with them all, and they un-leashed on this kid. It didn't matter how many times I told them that the tests didn't count that much towards their grades, it was the classroom participation that mattered most. As soon it was time for a test, they all cramped up, but in the normal classroom environment they were amazing! Ideas and theories were bandied about, there was an absolute acceptance of different viewpoints, but come test-time? Blaarghh!?!?!?!?
Haha sorry I didn't mean for this to become a whole big thing or to question your teaching ability. It just sounded so bizarre to me. It sounds like it was all in good fun though thanks for clearing it up!
No big deal! :-)
It was all taken in stride at the time, and I couldn't help myself either, I couldn't prevent a smile to show on my face when I heard some of the comments. Sure, some were pretty brutal, but not one crossed the line.
That's not really a stupid question. Not everyone is tech savvy, and there is more than one term for file sharing. And such a garrulous post you've written.
People are afraid to ask questions because of teachers like you.
Late, but best one I have: We're watching documentaries in black and white (I think the great depression). Kid raises his hand, I call on him, he says "never mind its a stupid question." I say, " there are no stupid questions, go ahead." He proceeds with "did they have color back then? Like, in real life?" I was dumbfounded, and could not keep a straight face. Turns out, there are stupid questions.
Puthery ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:41:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not going to lie, I used to think the same thing ... When I was 5.
BigDisk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To this day, black and white pictures/movies creep me the hell out.
aGeordie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:36:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I probably would have laughed too but then probed as to where the question came from. Inquisitive minds are a wonderful thing and being allowed to fail is part of learning.
That's when you pretend to realize the world is now in color and start having a mental breakdown. "HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN LIKE THIS!?" Bonus points for convincing the other students your schizophrenic.
shane201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he had the look on his face like "I trusted you,"
I mean, obviously they didn't. There's film evidence right there.
Lasdary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was about 12 years old, watching the recolorized version of the El Zorro series at home and I asked my mother if it had been filmed in that era or if it was all a set.
I wasn't even finished with the sentence and my brain started hitting the sides of my skull trying to escape the stupidness inside my head.
I'm not a teacher, but I distinctly recall a year nine (13-14 years old) classmate of mine asking "Do you die if you get shot?", and "Where's Dutch?". She then proceeded to assert that the battle of the Somme took place in Yorkshire.
yokayla ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 14:21:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, England speaks English. Spain speaks Spanish. France speaks French. Gefmany speaks German. Then theres the Netherlands...
Sam-Gunn ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 14:56:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
America speaks American, Canada speaks Canadian, Mexico speaks Mexican...
Sezess ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:25:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh...yeah...
Sam-Gunn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ireland speaks Irish, The Gambia speaks Gambino, Ukraine speaks Russian, China speaks Chinese, Japan speaks Nipponese, Australia speaks Australian, and so on and so forth.
Ukraine speaks Ukrainian, which is almost, but not quite, like Russian.
At least, that's what the Russian professor at college told us when 2 of the students piped in that they spoke Ukrainian.
ruslan40 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:29:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About half of the Ukraine speaks Russian as a first language, though. I know a few Ukrainians from the Eastern part, born and raised, who have trouble understanding and conversing in Ukrainian.
Mejari ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chinese speak Mandarin, and like a dozen others
Sam-Gunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, the joke is that more countries don't speak a language named after their country than those that do. China has a lot of various regional dialects and regional languages, which IMO is pretty neat.
thtrf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can take pictures of the dozen or so Irish language textbooks on my shelf, if you're still not convinced.
gameld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, you could justify those as...
America speaks American English, Canada speaks Canadian English/French, Mexico speaks Mexican Spanish...
due to the fact that they are each distinct dialects, and even in American there are dialects (e.g. the Texas "accent" is much more than an accent). I'm sure the same is true of Canadian and Mexican though I don't know enough about those to comment.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The various forms of Spanish are... quite distinct in several ways.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
people from America are Americans, people from Canada are Canadians, ... Mexicans etc etc.
people from the Netherlands are Dutch. There, happy now?
graaahh ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:17:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'll be honest, the Netherlands confused the hell out of me for a good long while when I was a kid. Like first, was it the Netherlands or Holland? Everyone always says Dutch people are from Holland, but that's not a country. And it's right next to a country that sometimes gets called Deutschland, but that's where Germans are from because that's actually Germany. Etc. I have it all figured out now but it's pretty confusing, especially to an English speaker.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically most countries on the European mainland are actually quite new amalgamations of other little countries so have lots of different names within them. It's confusing to someone with a British idea of history because the traditional nations of the British Isles are actually some of the oldest in the world.
The confusion of tribes, clans, republics and ("irregular") language borders on the mainland makes some interesting countries but is quite hard to explain, even to natives.
Like the Sorbs and Frisians, Danish Baltic, Finn-Swedes, ร land, Kaliningrad and Belgium.
The English used to call their own language Dutch, you know from the time of Alt Aenglisc when it sounds more like Danish than French, then the French invasion happened yadda yadda, and the french-english-newspeak speakers says the Dutch are speaking something similar to the Dutch of the grandparents and says that the Dutch are actually speaking the Dutch and that happened.
Having had to manage product translations, I'm pretty sure Spain would be delighted if the world recognized that Mexicans speak Mexicanish. Our distributor was livid with the translations.
Puthery ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:37:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To make matters worse the Germans call Germany "dutchland" (not sure on the spelling please correct me)
Not really a problem though, German people call the German Language Deutsch, so it's understandable that The Land of the German/Deutsch speakers would be Germany or Deutschland.
edit: forgot a suffix
Helmerj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nederlanders in Nederland spreken Nederlands. Germans are also fairly well known for not speaking German but Deutsch, because secretly they are Deutsch from Deutschland.
Where is Dutch? well this is a good question. I guess it really isn't anywhere. now if you wanna know where they speak Dutch that would be the Netherlands. why you ask? Because fuck you that's why. we aren't making it easy for you!
TIL... Ok, now about Holland being interchangeable with Netherlands?
Isoldael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We mainly only use it when cheering for our national team. When asked where we're from when speaking dutch, we'd always say "Nederland". Personally I suspect part of using "Holland" when speaking english is the fact that we get to avoid the "th" sound, which many of us aren't very good at.
But it only doesn't make sense because English thought Germany = The Netherlands and so the German name for their own language 'Deutsch' got adopted into English as the name for the language from the Netherlands 'Dutch'.
It makes total sense in Dutch.
In english it absolutely doesnt make any sense in dutch though its pretty logical
Ezmar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:58:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That last one doesn't seem outrageous at all, though I'm a US Citizen, have poor retention of history, and only vaguely know what the battle of the Somme or where Yorkshire is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, different countries for a start. I get it though, it's not completely ridiculous if you mix up where then trench war happened.
alahos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one about the die by getting shot. I think it's an example where you have a valid question and there is a lot to it but end up asking a simple question that doesn't reflect what you are actually wondering. Obviously you get hurt, but let's say it's not anywhere vital, what are the effects of a gunshot wound in that area? She was probably wondering what happens to the bullet once it penetrates the body. Does it being there poisonous to the body? And then some people just aren't sure. If you get shot in the hand you're not gonna die, but people are gonna freak out like they are especially after seeing a significant amount of blood. Also in multimedia like movies, games we more often see one shot kills (usually skilled marksman) or they have to basically be revived after being shot.
Tesatire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin moved to Amsterdam when I was a kid. We were constantly teasing some of the relatives because they couldn't remember where she moved.
One day I tried to give them a hint "They speak Dutch there."
His eyes widen with a sense of understanding "OOOOOH. She's in Dutchland."
I believe this was the first time I face-palmed. Was it a good hint? No. Did I think he would create a fake country? No. So now it's an ongoing joke that has lasted over 20 years. "Where's Dutchland again, Rudy?"
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mates auntie said while we were watching an international football/soccer game said.
"They're dirty bastards (fouling a lot) aren't they, these Hollanders?!
Her son (also a dope but not quite as bad) laughed and got smacked. One of those moments as a kid where you're doing so well to suppress your laugh until you catch a glimpse of your friend doing the same and explode in laughter.
eoJ1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both reasonable questions. 1st one - maybe. Depends where, what with, how fast help arrives...
[deleted] ยท 589 points ยท Posted at 14:33:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in physics asked, "If there's a speed of light...what's the speed of dark?"
Edit: for all of you saying, "that's actually a valid and interesting question", I agree. However, let me give you some context (as I should have done originally).
This girl often showed up late and would ask questions for things the professor had answered either before she got there, or minutes before because she often did her makeup in the back and wasn't paying attention. Her grasp of the core concepts was weak, at best. While I can't read minds...I'm fairly certain she wasn't asking a deep existential and abstract question as an inverse to the state of illumination.
โLight thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.โ
โNothing travels faster than the speed of light. Nothing, that is, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. The Hingefreel people of Arkintoofle Minor did try to build spaceships that were powered by bad news, but they didnโt work particularly well and were so extremely unwelcome whenever they arrived anywhere that there wasnโt really much point setting of in the first place.โ
โ Douglas Adams
NinjaAlf ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:02:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I can imagine Zoom saying this to The Flash
papereel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:01:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless this unfunny joke is being stretched out, I don't see the idiocy, retardation or stupidity in calling 'im Vsauce. It makes more sense to call him that, rather than Michael.
The intro follows the scheme "Vsauce, Michael here. [...]"
There have been multiple Vsauce channels dedicated to different types of content for quite some time now, although I agree that calling Michael "Vsauce" isn't retarded, stupid or idiotic, I believe it is impractical and incorrect.
Vsauce is, by now, the name of a group of channels, rather than an individual. The actual word seems to have come from a "Fake Website Generator".
But, Michael is more popular than the other two, and if I said "Vsauce," they would be thinking of Vsauce 97% of the time.
I agree that calling Michael "Vsauce" isn't retarded, stupid or idiotic
Exactly!
I believe it is impractical and incorrect
Why? Michael is the main character of Vsauce, even if you include all 3 channels. Saying /u/TubeSteak424242 is an idiot because he used Vsauce. Michaels makes equal sense, but not more sense.
Avalire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True. But given this persons propensity for disrupting class with stupid questions about topics covered minutes earlier...and her love of doing her makeup in the back...I doubt she had existential abstractions in mind when she asked the question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
graaahh ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:22:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm tempted to say the speed of dark's the same as the speed of light, because it's the speed of light leaving. But I could also interpret that as "what's the speed of light being absorbed by the materials it hits" (aka the reason a room doesn't stay lit after you turn off a light bulb) which, while incredibly fast, is probably a little slower than the speed of light and dependent on the materials.
The whole "light's speed is absolute" think always confuses me when I think about it.
If two moving observers record the velocity of the same photon, their observations will be mutually exclusive, yet both will be correct. Light's speed is completely separate from literally anything and everything, and that always seemed to have loads of screwy implications to me.
I realize that light's speed is absolute, to be clear, but I can't properly wrap my brain around how that doesn't break physics.
It does break physics :-). No one has properly wrapped their brain around this. Quantum mechanics accounts for 3 of the four fundamental forces; it doesn't include gravity. Relativity describes gravity. The current motivation for theoretical physicists is to overcome the differences between quantum mechanics and relativity to create a unified theory.
Please don't quote Vsauce. Vsauce is the lowest form of pop science, designed to be so easily digestible that, by the time you get down to it, there's absolutely nothing useful gained out of watching it. The issue is that Michael's videos cover such a broad variety of (sometimes related) topics in a relatively short time, which is really a terrible way to digest information.
However, I can give Michael some credit because he does source his videos in the description, and most of the time they're reputable sources. Try to quote them instead.
and this is a stupid question because? to someone who understands the speed of light it is immediately obvious that these are two separate questions completely and this is a great teaching opportunity to illuminate the concept.
actually this is a valid question since the space (you know, the thing light actually need to pass through) is expanding faster than light, we can observe up to 13,xx billion of lightyears because that's only how long the light can go from the moment the universe began, but the universe itself is larger than just 13,xx billion ly in width, it's more like 90.
Spend the day talking about Japanese attack and America's entrance into WWII.
Student 1: "Wait...is Pearl Harbor still alive?"
Raucous laughter until--
Student 2 (through laughter): "Of course she's dead!"
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:48:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a classmate of mine. We were covering the history of the Protestant Church and were discussing Martin Luther. Student is wildly offended when teacher says he was a white German. Freaks out, screams about racism and historical revision. Mom comes to the school and is screaming and yelling. It took the principal, on the phone with a black religious scholar, to get them to shut-up. Came in next day like nothing happened.
Did your teacher not explain that there are more than one person in the world named Martin Luther or was the person who was mad just not hearing anything the teacher said?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:02:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither my classmate nor her mom would listen to reason. There was 1 Martin Luther. Period.
Does the principal have black theologians on call for this sort of situation?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We went to a Christian high school, and this wasn't the first time we had spoken of this subject. The theologian taught early Church history at our school.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:32:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was in a Sex Ed class in elementary school..5th grade. In the female class, the teacher started off by asking some review questions from last class. She asked the class, "what is it called when women go through their monthly period?" Clearly she was looking for menstruation, but a little blonde haired girl raised her hand and answered "hypotenuse". To this day, I still laugh about that! So hilarious.
Robinmcb ยท 995 points ยท Posted at 13:24:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher's Assistant for a geography class (kinda doesn't count, but whatever).
I had been the TA for this class for 3 semesters and the professor had decided to retire. New professor comes in and tries to make this class as not-boring that it could possibly be (in her defense, she did teach the class with enthusiasm).
Anyway, the second project for the class was a short presentation about different resources of the world, renewable energy, non-renewable, etc.
I tell 90+ students and email every single one of them, to email me their presentation when they were done and I'll put them on a list for the order of presentations. I get a good 60-75 presentations.
The week of presentations, I sent out an email with the list and get a good 10 or so emails back asking why they weren't on the list. I calmly explain to them the aforementioned instructions and send out a new list.
After the first day, 5 more students ask me the same question. A bit irritated, I explain to them as well and announce it to the class once more.
The list gets so long and the students lack of preparation continue, presentations get extended to two more weeks. And in those two weeks, the stragglers email me.
At this point, I've lost my hope in humanity and I just get more and more irritated. I had done everything to ensure that every one of those students knew what to do for presentations, even if they were out sick, they still had an email that they needed to check in case an announcement was made.
It stuck with me for the rest of the semester and I found out from my professor that some students complained about me as being the worst and rudest TA they ever had.
TL;DR: I LEARNED NO ONE LISTENS TO YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO THE HARD WAY AND DIDN'T REACT PROPERLY TO IT
Honestly in that kind of situation the best thing you could have done for those kids is the ones who were late did not get to present. I can promise you a boss in the future wouldn't be holding their hand the same way you did. It's better to learn that lesson in school than after getting fired from the job that supports you.
Dicios ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:06:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I currently work in a place I have people under me. Very simple stuff gets forgotten that they have to do monthly.
So I can totally relate to these words about not holding hands.
The problem is now as they are adults it sort of is my problem to teach them about responsibility as adults. Literally I feel like I am talking to school children as they usually reply with "Uhuhh...Yeah...I know...yeah...uhuh...sure" and next month it's all over again.
Some people manage to abide it and then some other people don't in the next month so its like a vicious circle of getting through to some people and then someone else starts forgetting again.
I am a boss. If my employee missed something and asked, "why is my pilot not on the list", I wouldn't try to make a point, I would say "email it to me".
If they do it every single time, then you would be on corrective action. but don't be an ass and not answer the question directly.
Some e-mail servers do truncate long messages, but I don't know.
Ynglinge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This! I moved to a different country with a school system that seems pretty forgiving (you only need to pass to go to uni). And even if my uni is really good, some of the students just can't grasp what a deadline means and keeps messing up. There's also a lot of focus on going to uni right after high school so that might contribute a bit.
False lol. The real world is just like school extensions are given more than in school in my experience. You forget to do something? well we didn't really need it for another 4 weeks so turn it in at the end of this one instead of today. Now employers do get testy if this keeps happening and write-ups are possible but you wont get fired because of one late assignment. Especially if it deals with other people that have to do things in order for you to be able to complete a task (like send in your invoice, come in with id, fill out forms the correct way.)
I mean I work at one of the biggest corporations in the US and I went to a private US institution so experiences may vary. Extensions are quite common lol. My supervisor is getting an extension on coming back from vacation as we speak so suck it Tribek. Don't be jealous lol
oh, I'm not saying it's not commonplace. I'm just saying I don't agree with the culture. I just feel at a loss with my work ethic when surrounded by that. It's not so much jealousy as disgust at when it gets really bad and inefficient. Worked hard lower end jobs, see so many other people work hard, only to see upper end or cushy jobs making lots more and not getting much done.
If you base your work ethic on your coworkers work ethic you've already lost. But I get you its annoying lol but dealing with the original comment the real world will coddle you and hold your hand sometimes and sometimes it won't but general statements like that are harmful and a lie.
Oh i don't base my work ethic on theirs. But it doesn't make me less frustrated to witness and have to deal with the lack of progress that effects me.
I don't think the argument to the parent comment is that the real world will coddle you. They were saying that the real world has repercussions and the TA should have been putting down the hammer and letting them learn the effects, something they should be learning in school hopefully before getting to the real workforce. Although, your response sounds more like "nah, let it slide, it's all good, no one cares". Which to me is a more detrimental outlook within a workspace and unfortunately reality too often.
[deleted] ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 15:45:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ericnj ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:54:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he's a TA so I'm assuming it's college. You don't have to worry about child psychology when they're adults.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:20:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so if you are not supposed to downgrade them for being late what do they teach to do? Let them be late with no punishment, like one grade lower each day/week late or whatever?
Skidrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a little complicated.
Within the reformed Ontario (a province in Canada) within elementary and high-school students are allowed to hand in assignments as late as they want in the semester even if its passed the due date. As a teacher you either have to:
Grade them without academic penalty
Submit a formal request and have a hearing to fail the student.
If you choose option 1, the students "incomplete's" that they have for an assignment have to be changed to whatever grade is fair for their work based on the rubric you originally provided (this makes it so teachers cant purposely just mark lower to skirt the system). Where the penalty comes into play, isn't in accordance with their academic grades, but instead taken from their skills (these are not marked A+-F). Wherein on their report card students would receive an "N" for Needs improvement.
Option two involves a heck of alot of paperwork, and multiple meetings with various officials in order to explain each and every single mark you have ever given that student throughout the year, in order to determine if its justifiable.
Of course, the vast majority of students are unaware of this little "loophole" and will hand in their work on time, or ASAP.
Is that found to be effective? I know in america that they only have the one academic grade most places so there is no behavior grade and it is taken from the academic grade if it is late.
I find it hard to believe that allowing lates without penalty is effective in teaching for when people get to college. My niece went to a charter school and was always given leeway to turn in assignments late, similar to how you stated it is in Canada, so she learned nothing about responsibility with timelines. She tried the same thing in college and failed out because she thought she could pull the same crap. It almost seems unfair to have them learn that lesson in college where it really matters instead of highschool.
Skidrock ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:53:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see, well I am also in a top 10 rated program. The curriculum you're studies are based off obviously promote a different value set within its hidden curriculum.
As a teacher, I'd say announcing in class and sending two emails was enough. Still didn't send it in? Failed the assignment. Means you got less work and they (hopefully) will have learned the value of time management and following instructions.
gibsonje ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:38:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA for a programming class. I had to grade the programs.
There was a rubric with boxes with specific things to check that were worth points.
Every. Single. Week. The same people would fail and be baffled why.
I started reminding people that the rubric is the same each week and to take last week's and run it over their assignment.
Nope. They hated me. I helped a kid out one day and he was really happy, then said something along the lines "But I hate you because you make me fail."
Partially because high schools do a shitty job of preparing students. Also, some students should go to community college first, before attending a four-year university. And finally, some students are just that dumb.
aezart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least you follow your rubric. I took a programming class last semester where they would override the rubric and deduct points for random things.
You go so easy on them. In most of my classes if the students are even a minute late they get a zero, especially for a digital submission. If it's a physical submission I tell them I shouldn't accept it but will anyways because it's only a couple minutes late. That makes them love me.
I also had a similar issue to them not listening. I Ta geography also, and this past term I taught the labs for a first year cartography course. The first labs all said that when making any map you need certain features like a north arrow, legend etc. to get full marks. On the rest of the assignments we didn't say that, and just told them to make a map of their results. It was crazy how many students didn't include any of the required features. When they asked me why I took marks off for it they complained that we didn't specifically tell them to for this assignment. I told too many student multiple times and they still didn't get it. Same with unzipping data. I had to teach the same students every week how to unzip the data they are given.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the first project they had to do. Thankfully, they listened to those lectures
I am a college instructor and the number of reminders I have to give to get people to actually do things is just astounding.
jaypizzl ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a software consultant. I get hired for a minimum of us$5,000, usually a lot more. I am similarly amazed at how difficult it is to get customers to provide honestly very simple information which often requires literally just seconds or minutes of effort on their part. They are presumably motivated, and I'm not even asking for anything remotely as difficult as a homework assignment. It's just incredible to me - I can't tell if the problem is illiteracy, poor memory/drug use, lack of motivation, or what. I'll have to request things literally ten times in writing and verbally. I try different phrasing, different modes of communication, different times of day... no luck. They don't sound illiterate on the phone, but then when it comes to doing anything, they are helpless. This condition seems to afflict maybe 20% of IT professionals.
ash-aku ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:35:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Props for hanging in there. I got to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore and quit.
They hate me and write mean things on Rate myprofessor.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Favorite response to most questions was, "It's in the syllabus"
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:07:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
catsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are many, many reasons why people might struggle with that. Things in their private life, shitty situations, mental struggles. And there are even more reasons people that are ashamed of their struggles or feel like they shouldn't struggle make up to pass the blame. Which is shitty, but doesn't erase the real reasons.
While I applaud you for trying your best to help them, the other comments here are right. Sometimes you just need to let them fall on their face before they get it. The assignment is due next week. oh you forgot? one extra day. oh you forgot again? Not my problem, you knew when it was due.
I LEARNED NO ONE LISTENS TO YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO THE HARD WAY AND DIDN'T REACT PROPERLY TO IT
Sounds like you have a healthy career in finance/IT/medicine/education/auto-repair.
rawr_777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had some instructions on an assignment I thought students would ignore, so I put that one line in bold, uppercase, and larger font size. I had a student do the bad thing, lose marks, and then complain that I didn't say they couldn't do that. I just pointed to the GIANT BOLD TEXT. He looked at me, and walked out of my office.
karaeb93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at my uni at the largest department on campus. Can confirm that no one ever listens or reads their f*cking email.
QWERTY36 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never work IT.
Your TLDR is every day in that line of work.
jaypizzl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:16:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT people are often functionally illiterate, in my experience.
Kinda sounds like you got played. Keep telling the TA you didn't know/weren't informed, get the deadline extended
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than likely, but it wasn't my position to make assumptions like that. That went to the prof
philmtl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So true, build a template lable everything with instructions, accompanying email just in case. The moment they get it they call you to walk them through it instead of just trying to follow the instructions.
If your grammar in class was anything like your tl;dr I wouldn't listen to you either.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ
Drougen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:19:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After the first bout of people asking I would have just set aside 10 minutes and went to every single student and said "X you have to email me your project, understood?"
Robinmcb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I announced it again in class after those students came to me
darktask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why - it's up to them to remember to send the email after the first round of instructions. It's college - they're not going to be spoon-fed.
Drougen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because teachers are teaching to teach, not to be a resentful towards students and act like "I TOLD you what you had to do! It's YOUR fault! You should fail at life and your money should go to waste!"
Their job is to teach people and help them learn. Understood that It's not your job to baby every single person, but when you have 10+ people saying they don't know what's going on they should stop and take a second to try and help them / clarify.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Drougen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you're a teacher and got offended or something? Sorry, edited for you so It's easier to understand.
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's annoying to know that you'd probably remembered better if you outright wrote
WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN!!! in the subject line and in the mails.
If I got 60-75 responses the first time emailing 90 people (all adults) for something at work, I would probably fall over dead from astonishment. I'd expect about 10, maybe 15.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it was surprising, but just the stragglers really got me irritated cause I had to re-submit more and more schedules
Ehm... Honestly if the users arent figuring out your system, change the system don't blame the users.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean telling everyone in class, emailing them, making announcements on the class forum which, again, emails them the reminder wasn't enough? I mean, I get changing the system and we did, but all those notifications wouldn't do?
Not to scare you, but this happens everyday in Corporate America.
You might think that by simply emailing a co-worker to do their job, they will do it...
It doesn't always happen that way.
People space out during meetings (or they're multi-tasking during meetings), they delete all emails from certain people without reading them, they don't read every email, they "lose" your request, they're too busy, they expect someone else to do it, etc.
I've lost count of the number of times I've said (to myself) This is your job, this is literally all you do. Why is this so hard to get you to respond?
Robinmcb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it was a shame, really. I tried really hard to not get them to fail and giving them every opportunity to know what was going on
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this high school? Teens tend to have memory issues due to hormones and growing and stuff.
Not that you shouldn't hate them of course. Teenagers suck.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, full on college students, my friend
Yawehg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as not-boring that it could possibly be
two weeks of student presentations
Pick one.
Robinmcb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were supposed to 3-5 min max
Granted we made it group presentations the next few sems, but this was the trial run
Yawehg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my head I'm imagining 4.5 hours of undergrads repeating the same 8 facts about world resources.
Robinmcb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:36:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...it wasn't too great
Edit: thankfully, the prof put them in groups and allowed different waits to present other than a PowerPoint
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The students who don't follow instructions get a zero, and then you move on.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't my call to give. The professor kept extending it
He sent out emails asking for presentations so he could put them on a list of presenters. Many people never email him and then get mad about being reminded over and over to email him the presentations and complain to the professor.
In Chemistry, we were counting the atoms in a few different compounds. Professor picks the student not paying attention to count them out for the class. So, when the professor said to that student "okay SJ, count for us" (meaning, just tell me how many atoms are in each compound)
SJ then starts slowly counting up from 1 until he's asked to stop "uh, 1... 2...3...4.." He got to about 12 before we realized he was just counting.
(Not a question and didn't even happen to me but it's a moment I have never forgotten!)
So I never finished Chemistry as I was expelled from school and somehow managed to graduate without a chemistry credit, how does one count the atoms in a compound?
nmook102 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:07:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If ur looking at a water molecule there's 3 atoms(2 H and 1 O)
We were discussing the plight of African-Americans during Reconstruction.... "If black people had such a bad time in America, why did they immigrate here?" I immediately saw the black kid behind her sit up and silently mouth, "what the fuck?!?"
Sadly this was in a high school honors course. I will say in the girls defense she immediately knew how idiotic that question was and turned bright red. Cringe-worthy moment for all.
red11pip ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:47:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. When I was 11 we had to learn about sex in science and we were learning about IFV and one boy asked how a man ejaculated and asked if a man just had to say "go sperm go".
Teacher : (hands out assignment, about 1hr still left for class to get over)
Student : Do we have to do the assignment now?
Teacher : No, wipe your ass with it.
I was 7 years old just finished exams and my teacher calls me hands me 2 papers of math and asks which one is yours. I checked the name, both had my name on top so after focusing on hand writing for good 5 mins i told her that one is mine.
Turns out the kid behind was copying my paper word to word and even cheated my name off my paper..
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:13:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a history class that was learning about the invasion of the Huns and the fall of Rome. During silent reading a student raised their hand and called me over. He asked me, "Were these like, half horse people?" I was really confused and asked why he thought that. "It says here they were skilled horsemen." I told him that just meant they were good at riding horses and not centaurs.
Nurum ยท 190 points ยท Posted at 14:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I have a professor that tells us to ask anything because there are no stupid questions I immediately raise my hand and ask "why do meteorites always land in craters?"
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:11:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lfantine ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do bald people get cancer so much?
Furt77 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:22:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are kids so attracted to pedophiles?
User4780 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they are trying to fill in the hole that they saw from space, gotta keep everything flat. The problem is that there is nobody around with a giant rake to smooth it out afterwards.
I am a teacher in an urban district with a high immigrant population. I have been asked why people don't fall off the bottom of the Earth, if anyone lives on Mars, if Jewish people really are aliens, etc.
Neither the questions nor students were truly stupid - many students had simply been raised in areas with little or no formal education, or by parents who themselves were incredibly negligent, superstitious and/or uninformed.
The scene: 11th grade Biology class at a preppy private school (no religious affiliation, but we were in the middle of the hyper Jewish area of the city).
My teacher was talking about genetic traits passed on through X or Y chromosomes.
The big dude in the back has a question.
"Let's say that women could reproduce on their own. If there was an island of these women, would they eventually grow penises and testicles from doing all of the hunting, fishing, fighting, etc?"
This teacher and I were close so she looked at me and I just snorted and gave her a "good luck" look. Bless her.
You also need to burp and fart to grow a penis. Fucking amateurs.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:25:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus you people are oblivious.
You only have to burp and fart to grow a penis. The other stuff isn't necessary.
LukaCola ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:34:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, gender roles at their finest, truly. So ingrained that they literally cannot imagine a world where women take on the traditional roles of men, so those women have to become biologically men.
Yes, yes they would. That's why baby boys must be taken on long fishing and hunting trips, and must successfully K.O. the midwife, before they grow a penis and testicles.
This isn't really as stupid as it sounds at first. It is a common misunderstanding of evolutionary mechanisms that was once a reasonable scientific consideration. Do animals evolve traits to satisfy a goal (e.g. do giraffes necks get longer because they need longer necks) or are the results of random mutations in offspring favored in relation to the environment (e.g. do giraffes with longer necks do better and pass on the desirable trait [the correct answer]). His question is a extreme example of this misunderstanding.
It could be a different misunderstanding than that, perhaps even just not following through the full reasoning.
Some species will change gender due to lack of sufficient opposite gender or due to dominance factors in a coupling.
With that in mind, let's say that male embryos are failing to survive, etc., in some species perhaps there is then an evolutionary adjustment made to the female genetics where some otherwise male traits are now being developed, fulfilling some physiological need in the species.
Another thought process could be the concept of how hormonal increases can occur in females or males as they take on the tasks normally performed by the opposite sex, such as child-rearing, or the examples that he presented. Increases in hormonal shifts can result in such "drastic" changes as the start of lactation in males, to increased clitoral sizes and reduced breasts in females.
Are the hormonal increases independent of the individual's perception of the gender roles? Like do they happen because a male is perceiving himself to be assuming a female role (or vice versa) or because the activity itself somehow triggers the hormones? Serious question.
From what I've read, yes there is often a psychological component to such physiological changes. However, perception isn't necessarily a required factor.
disclaimer: IANA life scientist. But I do read a bit of expert posts.
Women can reproduce on their own. It is called parthonogenesis.
Dicios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if they found a batch of male hormones among all that hunting and fishing, their female parts would grow an inch or so and they would get certain male characteristics but unless someone of the original bunch was born with the ability to produce sperm they are shit out of luck.
Or they could find a bunch of frozen sperm and somehow manage to inseminate themselves. Over time who knows what genetical abromalities would come out of it, maybe a "female with sperm" but until that time, you should have to kill all the male children.
I don't this this is a stupid question at all! This would have been a great opportunity for the teacher to explain about species that produce asexually as females, until environmental factors trigger genetic expression that enables males to be born, such as Daphnia magna.
kyuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you say you "snorted", does that mean you made a pig noise at her?
I remember J.K. Rowling always used that word in the HP series and it always sounded so absurd to me. Like why in the world was everyone just ok with Harry constantly making these pig noises?
I'm halfway down this post and I'm convinced that either: a) no teachers are on reddit; or b) teachers are too nice and only non-teachers are judgmental.
Source: I'm not a teacher, but....
tastar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(no religious affiliation, but we were in the middle of the hyper Jewish area of the city).
ThreeLZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what does that have to do with being in the jewish part of town?
Dicios ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP probably meant that "People are ignorant about reproduction" as religious town parts are usually more conservative with information, so kids are stupider in that category.
Edit: In fact this is a great question unless you're teaching college-level science courses. One is a sphere and the other is a circle. Fuck you for posting this.
God created dinosaurs. God destroyed dinosaurs. God created Man. Man destroyed God. Man created dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.
It wasn't a question, it was an answer. The question was, "What could you call a 100 sided polygon?" It was a gimme question that had a few acceptable answers like "centigon" or "100-gon."
A student wrote, "eight."
Just..."eight."
Not even "8," but a written-out "eight."
Furt77 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's my polygon and I can name him whatever I want.
Ghanrak ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:55:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not the teacher, but in AP World History, one of the students asked, "Did Lord of the Rings really happen?". She was later named our valedictorian.
Not American and always kind of wondered what valedictorian means. It sounds terribly grand and important
Beat9 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:09:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The person who graduates with the best grades.
Ghanrak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typically, the student that held the highest GPA. If there are multiple students tied for the highest GPA, I assume the select the one that completed the most difficult courses, or had the most credits. In the case of this student, I honestly can't imagine it being either. At graduation, I was astonished to see her up there.
"a student, typically having the highest academic achievements of the class, who delivers the valedictory at a graduation ceremony."
It didn't mean jack shit. It's awarded to whoever graduates with the highest GPA ignoring difficulty of classes and anything else
Yagichan ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English as a second language. Late thirties, male, business man student comes in for a free trail lesson.
Immediately starts speaking in their native language "I am not interested in English. I will not speak English in class. I need a TOEIC test of 650 for work. Can you teach me how to get 650 on the TOEIC test ?"
Looked at student. Calmly stated, "You must speak English to pass the TOEIC test." Student got angry and left. Was never seen again.
I asked our tour guide in Berlin that question. He asked if anyone was from Australia. A few hands went up. He made them promise they wouldn't get offended. So a dude in his 20's from Australia went out this 3 hour tour of Berlin learning all about history. At the end he asked, "The one thing that's always bothered me and never answered is how did Hitler get here?" Guide: Well he was born in Austria, and moved at some point. Aussie: Yeah, but Australia is far away, like he had to have taken a boat right, planes weren't really an option for tourists then, right?"
tl;dr: Aussie didn't know Austria isn't short for Australia.
I'm sad to admit, but I thought so too when I was younger.
OpalFae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, my god... as an Aussie with experience of our education system, this scares me. I can accept it from children, like u/RainonCooper. Not from a grown adult
Not a teacher, but used to do go to high school classes as a member of GRIS, a NGO. This NGO was working with school to demystify the LGBT and we were going to present ourself to a class of student, always 2 (one gay and one lesbian) and the student were the one asking any question they wanted, base on their own level of comfort.
This particular time was with a group of 11th grader. One student ask why gay guys enjoy anal sex. I replied with the usual it's not everyone that enjoy it, however for those who do, it's due to sensation including stimulation of the prostate.
As I finish this sentence, a female student exclaimed/questioned: So it's because of my prostate that I enjoy anal sex so much?
I was flabbergasted while the whole class was laughing. The teacher in the room sighed and immediately took over, saying he would explain human biology to her later and asked us to move on to another question.
To be fair (or expose my stupidity), I didn't know that girls don't have prostates when I was in 11th grade.
I also didn't know what they do either. I didn't assume anything about them though (like that they help your toenails grow, or something stupid like that), I just never asked anyone what the prostate did until about roughly 9 months ago.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:25:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 4th grade and a student did some great work and I made an off handed comment about how I love my job. Another student asked "what's your job?".
A girl in a physics class once asked if all the Chinese people jumped at the same time, would the earth go into the sun? I laughed for a solid five minutes at the serious question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think (hope) this is just a reference to "Pay it Forward"
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:51:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach preschool so I could go on and on about dumb things (I.e pooping in the sink, hiding poop in weird places, eating weird stuff) but my favorite is this story.
During group time one day I couldn't help but notice one of my kids had a very strong poop odor. I pulled him aside and asked if he had had an accident. He proudly said no, and that he had made it just in time. I suggested he go wipe again to double check. About 5 minutes later he comes to me with his hands covered in shit. He said I didn't tell him what to wipe with so he just used his hands
I know a kid who's parents have no interest in properly raising him and he thinks he only needs to wipe the crack. He will be 10 this year and will go around smelling strongly of poop all day because his parents are lazy.
I was holding study hall for 11th and 12th graders. From the back of the room a few students began arguing back and forth. When I asked what was going on one of the girls looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Is it true that you can still get pregnant from anal sex?"
I ultimately was forced to get an anatomy book and hold a mini health class.
westkms ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if Planned Parenthood had told her that she needs to wear a condom even if it's anal sex. Technically, you can get pregnant with no penetration. It's incredibly unlikely, but contact or (uh) seepage can make it theoretically possible.
Maybe that's how she could be so confused about her own anatomy?
I wish it were that logical or simple. However, the reason for the anatomy book was to prove that there was two separate tracks. Her argument was that the "wall" between tracks could break and someone could get pregnant. I told her that if that were to happen pregnancy would be the least of her problems.
westkms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shudder
Good on you for not just saying, "no," and telling them to get back to their homework.
I was taught a version of extreme creationism at home and in church that claimed the dinosaurs were the actual dragons of eastern and western myth, and that yes, they breathed fire. I went along with that bullshit for far too long.
"Do I have to remember this?" In math class, while discussing supplementary angles.
My answer: "Only if you want to do well on the test."
Edit: I should point out that this is the most common stupid question. I feel that it is a stupid question because no shit you have to remember. This is school. The entire point is to learn.
I take a lot of advanced classes and about a fifth of what we learn we don't need for the test, it's just interesting information. Although, if it's supplementary angles then why would they even ask... it's so simple.
How the fuck could that be from too much Minecraft?! Printers don't exist in Minecraft, the only way it could be from too much Minecraft is if a person starts looking at everyday items and asking themselves "how would this be made in Minecraft?" And then sitting down and actually logicing it out.
Minecraft has squids, presumably they're how you get ink in that game. And if you don't know how ink is made, like me, there are worse guesses than that it comes from an animal known for making ink.
Not a teacher. Sophomore year, World Religions class. We were discussing animism in African tribes. The professor, a Baptist minister, is telling us that in some tribes, the moon has special reverence because of its effects on the environment, the tides, and it's association with women's cycles.
This guy in the front row raises his hand. I knew him through mutual friends; he had grown up very sheltered. He was also very conservative, and worshipped Ronald Reagan. He asks the professor, "What is a women's cycle?"
The professor took a second to process what he'd been asked. Then his expression changed, and looked both stunned that anyone who'd managed to get this far in college would ask that, and furious that he would have to explain something so obvious.
"Menstrual cycle," he said. "You know. Her period."
The guy nods, writes it down, and class gets back on track. I told this story to everyone we both knew and nobody was surprised.
to be fair it's kind of funny that he couldn't...you know, extrapolate it a little and go "women...something that happens in a 'cycle', or 'periodically'...OH"
In his defense, I'm sure it was vague. Maybe the women in his life go through emotional cycles, cycles of psychotic breaks, or he heard "women's cycles" and started thinking about bicycling and was trying to figure out how it fit in.
If you live with women for any period of time you are going to know what "the cycle" is.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:59:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took that class at my local community college. It drove me absolutely bonkers because so many students didn't understand that we were studying WORLD RELIGIONS and not worshipping them. The teacher would post an assignment about a particular religion and their whole response would be "well they worship trees, but Jesus Christ is the one true savior. Blah blah blah the power in the blood. Blah blah blah you'll go to hell if you worship Buddha." I hate living in the Bible Belt sometimes -_-
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The One True God, Ronald Reagan
Osumsumo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was he an ESL learner? Might not have heard this term used before.
Ronald Reagan didn't know what the cycle is either. I almost got the cycle once but I tripped going around second
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a sheltered conservative who worships Ronald Reagan, I'd like to publicly disown this guy. Disgrace to us all
Yawehg ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isnโt a stupid question, so much as a horrible teacher.
Iโm a tutor in Texas. About a year ago, back when Syrian refugees were more in the news, my 8-year-old student asked me if โwe were safe?โ
I asked what she meant, and she told me that her teacher had said that โObama was letting all the terrorists come to Texas.โ Furthermore, there was a โ90% chanceโ of a terrorist attack in the next 6 months, and a โ50% chanceโ that they would strike right here, in in this shitty Houston suburb.
We scrapped the reading lesson for that day for a more important one.
Also not a teacher, but there was a girl in my visual communication class that thought space was a myth. We were around 16 or 17.
droxius ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 15:51:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in third grade we had a very large earthquake during school. It was really quite serious, part of the highway crumbled and the power went out and there was pretty widespread panic. The shaking was surreal and we were all freaking out doing the whole under the desk thing. After it passed and we were all still sitting in little huddled messes, one genius breaks the silence with a question. "Was that a drill?"
Takes a pretty big drill to do that kind of damage...
[deleted] ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 15:02:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach history and religion. As I was driving with one of my students, I passed a Church that I briefly attended my Freshman Year of college. Pointing it out, I mentioned that they were a Fundamentalist Protestant Church (I'm by no means a Fundamentalist Protestant, I promise) and I asked her if she knew the history of that Church.
I shit you not, her literal and immediate response was:
"Yeah. Aren't they the ones who followed Martin Luther King Jr. when he broke off from the Anglican Church but kept everything almost exactly the same?"
Yeah, she somehow blended three separate religious reformations from three very different periods of time, confused which churches were a part of those reformations, and somehow threw the American civil rights movement in there.
Some kid asked my 10th grade history teacher how they train the gorrilas for guerrilla warfare.
gwarsh41 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way late to the party, this is all from when I taught almost 5 years ago and copied from a post I made back then.
I teach 3D modeling in a low income area, at a school that accepts everyone. I get a lot of... special kind of stupid/ignorance in my classroom. Here are some of the better, shorter, tales from my classroom...
On the first day of class I read the syllabus, and explain the college environment. I also cover the entire syllabus and classroom policies. 2 semesters ago reading the syllabus put a student into tears. Later while speaking to my boss about it, I was using "too big of words for her, and they made her scared". I later found out someone registered her for an advanced class with no experience. Double whammy on that one.
This semester, while covering the attendance policy I said, "This is college, it is up to you to be responsible. I will never call your parents and tell them you did not show up to class." Without missing a beat, 4 students left the classroom.
File corruption is an every day thing for me, as is dealing with purposely corrupt files.
Student: Why did I get a 0 on the homework.
Me: It was corrupt, class policy is corrupt work is a 0.
Student: In high school they gave us more time!
Me: This is not high school.
Student (visibly angry): Well I submitted something, I should get SOME sort of grade.
Me: You did, you got a zero.
Later my boss pulled me into his office with the student, where essentially the same conversation took place, and my boss gave the student a drop slip.
I feel like the students I teach, are the people you will all be assisting. Intro classes are the worst, problem solving and computer knowledge is practically in the negative for 90% of my students. Some fun one liners from students.
"What are these computers for? Shouldn't we be working on like, an Xbox or something?"
"I lost my thumb drive so I need another week to work on the project."
"What do you mean I can't play League of Legends in class? I am taking a break from the assignment!!!"
"random student name just texted me that they wont be in class today. They said an EMP went off and the cars wont start"
"You should really lower your expectations Mr, because I am not going to do any of the homework."
Student: It broke!!
Me: What broke?
Student: This thing!
Me: What is it called?
Student: I don't know, I closed it.
"How do I get the words from here points at an MS word file to there? points at the browser based text submission"
Lastly, I feel I get to say something to my students that many of you want to say every day.
Student: It broke!
Me: Fix it!
If these are out of place here, I won't do any more of them and will delete this one. Hope some of you enjoyed this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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gwarsh41 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a piece of paper you fill out to drop out of a class. If you do it early enough you don't pay for the class. I don't know all the details on how the financial parts worked with it, Judy that there was a deadline.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:14:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just some of her subjects who seem to think that is still the case. Mind you, I expect that living in less enlightened times people would have heard stories about far flung corners of the world (colonies) they could visit by serving in the navy, so it is reasonable to assume that they thought she owned the whole world.
Still no excuse for that dick question in this day and age.
Priest was explaining how he was married to the church and a second grader pipes up with, "if you love the church so much than why don't you kiss it??" Not so much stupid as it was hilarious.
That reminds me of when my older son was in kindergarten and was deeply concerned about my sister, who had been sad about being older and not married. He said, "Aunt X can become a nun so she can marry Jesus."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know you are, but what am I?
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:54:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was Jesus Canadian?" for a class project on great Canadians
Our Father who art in Heaven,
Is this a good time?
If you're busy, I can come back later,
Never mind, it's really not important,
Sorry to bother you,
Amen
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:37:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my highschool Chem class, my teacher was talking about the decay of metals and radioactivity, specifically uranium and plutonium. She also mentioned that the applications of these metals were in ammunition, reactors, and the atomic bomb. To which a student asked "isn't that the element that they used in the Holocaust bomb that the Nazis dropped on Japan to kill all the Jews?"
I don't know how this isn't at the top, my son and I can't stop laughing at this one. No, No, Yes, and No, the only sliver they got right was that the bomb was dropped in Japan.
Did your teacher just tell him he got all of that wrong?
jmverlin ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 13:52:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher" but I definitely remember the dumbest question I've ever heard in class.
11th grade, astronomy/geology class. Discussing expansion of the universe and how galaxies are moving, too.
Girl: "So can two galaxies collide?"
Teacher: "Yes, absolutely, though because they're mostly space it doesn't usually tend to lead to any actual collisions."
Girl: "If the Milky Way got hit, what would happen if a star came between the Earth and the Moon?"
Teacher: "Well, that wouldn't happen, they would get sucked into it."
Girl: "No, not if it HIT them. What if it just went between them?"
The concept of gravity (and the size of stars) was lost on this one.
Well she was sloppy in communicating it, and fell back on imprecise language to avoid having to say a few more words.
Which is fine when everybody's on the same overall level and using the same model. But when your job is to build the model for another human one should be precise with their words.
17-18 doesn't seem like a child to a 19-20 year old but when you see the stupid shit people do in their 20's I don't think it's unreasonable to use the term.
Also I though you said 11th grade, which where I am is a junior in high school. Could be 16-18 depending on birthday and years held back.
jmverlin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for the confusion. I was a junior. She was a senior.
oogmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to see Randall Munroe set up this hypothetical, though.
That applies for a few of the questions, here.
Dan9977 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised people in other countries get taught so much about space. In Ireland you get taught the basics of the solar system in primary school, and in secondary school, if you choose to study physics for the last two years, gravity and the speed of light are covered but nothing on the galactic scale you where talking about.
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft... my cousin's girlfriend in her 20s assumed the moon and the sun were the same distance as they were roughly the same size.
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tsevion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A White Dwarf or a Neutron star could fit through... although its passing would likely knock both the Earth and Moon out of orbit, and likely cook us. Any main sequence star though is definitely too large... seeing as Jupiter is already too big to really squeak through.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Neutron star that close would devour the entire solar system.
Tsevion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really how gravity works. Gravity doesn't "Suck" things in... it accelerates them toward it... but that means they gain kinetic energy as they get closer... which means unless they hit square on, they have enough energy to escape again.
A neutron star is generally in the 1.5-2 solar mass region. Our sun hasn't devoured the solar system in 4.5 Billion years... a neutron star wouldn't either. It would however cause massive orbital disruption, probably sending several/all of the planets scattering.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
elmoteca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stars are FAR more massive than any moon. Most of them have a diameter larger than the space between the earth and the moon, so even if gravity didn't exist, they simply wouldn't fit. The only stars that are small enough to fit between them are so dense that their gravity would make both bodies crash into the star.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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morhp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the planets in the solar system fit between Earth and moon. Stars are typically much larger than planets.
Alyex227 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I was always under the impression that for some reason the word star and planet are synonymous and you'd just use 'star' to describe a bigger one usually.
I think the dumbest question I've heard as a student went along the lines of "Isn't it a fact that conservatives just want to conserve money and liberals want to liberate people in need?"
This kids a senior on college and has been a part of two major elections. Like come on man, how do you not know the difference.
That... Really isn't far off though, even if they came at it from the wrong direction.
Reminds me of when I was about six and went to watch my dad vote for the first time. I was trying to get him to vote conservative instead of Labour because of course as a little kid I had only heard the word labour in the context of 'ten months hard labour' and conserve in the context of saving the wildlife. Luckily I didn't sway him!
There is more to conservatism than fiscal conservatism. Many branches of conservatism are about protecting people's liberties, while some liberals want restrictions (and vice versa). And the terms are used quite differently in European politics.
Not me, but I took a college math functions course and one student, at least a month into the semester, raised his hand and said, "but like, what is subtraction? Like how can you just take away? Like what if there's nothing to take away?"
The poor professor had no way to respond. She just recommended he see a tutor. I have no idea how he graduated high school.
I'm a little late so this will probably be burried, but I'm my grade 11 biology class we were learning about reproduction in fish. After the teacher explained how fish release their sperm into the ocean, the smartest girl in class asked, "oh. Is that why the ocean is so salty?" she was dead serious. I've never seen so much disappointment in a teachers face before.
There are a ton of reasons, but as i understand it, it's from salt and minerals being leached out of the earth and flowing through rivers to the ocean.
Probably comes from one of those families that believes every conspiracy theory they see online. My sister's family is just like that. I've just stopped commenting on their crazy beliefs.
Pinneh ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student studying abroad for a year.
Me: "ok our next step is to apply for a long-stay visa but I can help with that process"
Her: "but my parents already have a visa, should I apply for a MasterCard too?"
To be honest, I knew of "Visa the credit card" long before I knew of "visa the permit to be in another country." If you don't travel abroad as a kid, why would you?
Pinneh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:36:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a 20 year old student whose paperwork leading up to this moment said "long stay visa permit to enter and stay in the country"
Not a teacher, but while on a school trip to Washington, D.C. (from Michigan) in 8th grade a classmate asked a teacher when we would be converting our money. He was 100% convinced that we were leaving the country, and thus would be using a different form of currency on the trip.
Chemistry here: I am regularly ask 'can I drink this miss?' when students work with chemicals. The solution is bright blue with a hazard label on it what do you think?! Grrr
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:24:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can drink it. Whether or not you should drink it is the real issue.
I mean, my high school chem classes would constantly have teachers saying "this is poison, don't touch it," and then it turns out to be sugar or flower or cornstarch or whatever.
...which we found out when people inevitably ate them.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:04:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite moment as a teacher was:
I was standing in front of my high school geometry classroom handing out worksheets as the kids came in. As each student passed, I'd say, "Good morning so and so! Here you go! Take this with you, and we'll use it later." Most students said other nothing or just mumbled a depressed hello back, but Terrell took a different approach:
Me: (hands over worksheet) "Good morning Terrell! How are ya?"
Terrell: "Good morning Mr F."
Me: "Take this with you to your desk. We will use it later."
Terrell: (looks at worksheet)
(Long pause)
Terrell: (looks up at me) "Mr. Flugelman, What the FUCK is this shit?"
I once had a dream that I was in a scuba diving class, and the instructor asked if we had any questions, telling us that there 'are no stupid questions'.
Dream-Me then asked "Do the sharks have wifi?"
BigDisk ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 15:40:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but they have bluetooth!
Varboa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sophomore year of high school (1994) we're going over the reproductive system of a human female during Biology class. One of my male classmates, who is sitting next to me, turns to the male classmate behind him and softly asks, "Wait. So girls have 3 holes down there??"
Male classmate 2 responds with, "Yup. One to pee with, one to play with, and one to poop with."
Male classmate 1: "How do you know the difference?"
Male classmate 2: "I'll explain later."
Obligatory "not a teacher, but...": this guy back in hs decided to raise his hand & loudly ask our history teacher if he was gonna let us get away with some particular thing as usual. I don't remember what it was, just that it fell under "the teacher is being nice by not making it officially forbidden & we don't bring it up in front of company." Our teacher turned really pale, walked into the center of everyone's desks & started whispering "Don't bring that up again. The front office has started listening into classes without telling us." We all thought he was being paranoid. But the PA turned on later in class for a couple minutes & you could hear someone failing to be stealth about moving around 0_0
I'm imagining another scenario in which the teacher was just fucking with you guys and had the principal in on it. As a teacher, I must say my favorite thing to do is mess with my students.
Water in the ocean: water exists here on this Earth. That water, being less dense than the ground, will sit on top of it, though below air as water is more dense than that. The ground is not a perfect sphere, it has hills and valleys and cracks and mountains, so the water will rest down inside these valleys and cracks and on the lower parts of earth, this, the oceans - where the earth is at its lowest, is where water will be pulled to. That is why we have water in our oceans.
Houseton ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... Why is there water in the ocean Mr. ayou_stark.
Houseton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My answer was just, when said out loud the last name could have been mistaken for Wilke. John Wilke. With that s, without being told, the student could think it's possessive. John Wilke's Booth. I know you understand what I am saying. I just think the question isn't stupid.
Now the student would never have had heard John Wilke's Booth shot Lincoln in Ford Theatre. How did the booth shoot Lincoln? These might have kept the student up at night. Hahaha!
edit:
Just re-read... When reading about Lincoln's assassination. The student might not have been reading but only listening. Yeah... Kinda dumb question.
Agreed, the student's reading comprehension was very, very low, so you're probably not that far off. It was something read by the student and then read along with me individually. I think it was more the student heard/read "Booth" and couldn't make the leap that it could be someone's last name, despite the capitalization. In the student's mind "booth" only had one meaning. It would've been interesting to have the student draw what they thought was happening.
Yes. I remember going to see it when I was a kid. Then there was a house with the bed that Lincoln was taken to (and died upon) with his dried blood still on it.
Ford's Theatre is still there, kinda. It's even run as a theater restored to how it would have looked in Lincoln's time. The presidential booth is also there, appearing exactly how it did back then.
The thing is, Ford's Theatre was closed down after the assassination and was repurposed as an office building. The insides have been torn down, gutted by fires, collapsed, etc, numerous times. So while the Theatre is entirely restore to exactly how it used to appear (except with modern lighting) none of the interior is original.
So, you can see the exact place Lincoln was shot in the exact Theatre where he was shot...but none of the physical objects present are the same. The few remaining original relics of Ford's Theatre are in an (excellent) museum in the basement.
I go there every year for their traditional production of A Christmas Carol. It's a very nice little theater. Supposedly the house across the street where he actually died has been preserved a little better in its original state.
Lab Instructor for an Intro to Archaeology class in college. This student was a junior:
"Will a compass point North in South America?"
"Do you mean Antarctica?"
"No, South America, they're closer to the South Pole than the North Pole so it should point south right?"
Thus began a conversation on differences in magnetic pulls and positive versus negative. He wasn't a bad student, and while it was something easily Googled I am glad he felt comfortable enough to ask that question in my class.
I actually had to look this up and I really liked the answer.
There are two types of compass
One made for the northern hemisphere and southern
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:41:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher, but I just asked my teacher and she had two from the same student-
"Isn't a hermaphrodite a Greek God?"
"When you sleep with your family, isnt that ancestry?"
Hermaphrodite was the child of Hermes and Aphrodite. They had both sets of genitals, which is why we use that term.
So yes, Hermaphrodite was a Greek god.
Correction: technically it was Hermaphroditus, which is where the English word comes from. So.... half right?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, of course. I just wondered if she had an "Oh, I guess that made more sense than I thought" kind of reaction about the Aphrodite thing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea she did. Shes super chill. I was actually there when the kid asked, and in all honesty, I dont think thats what he meant. He wasnt the best with words and stuff like that.
From a 13 year old in my History lesson
"When was colour invented?"
"Good question! I think colour photography was possible in the later part of the nineteenth century but was expensive and difficult so didn't became widespread until the 1950s/1960s, film was actually a little earlier than that, you started seeing big Hollywood colour films like Gone with the Wind in the 1930s."
"No I meant in real life, like everything was black and white - so when was everyone in colour?"
It was in 1925 when some ladies in Paris made a revolution in fashion industry. They were bored to see hundreds of black dresses and white shoes in their wardrobe, so they decided to pick some flowers from their yard, then used it to dye their dresses and shoes. But then one of the girls - let's call her Coco - found a magic flower. It was so colorful and glittery. Coco sniffs the magic flower, then felt a tickling sensation in her nose. "Achoo!!" she sneezed glitters and rainbow that sticked to everything she touched.
So, there it is, every single things in colors we see today came from a girl's snot.
Reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes strip. Calvin asked his Dad about it, Dad replied with "oh no, the film was colour, it's just that those were the only colours available back then.
Psmgop ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:38:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Violent storm occurs. Our school's power goes out. There's another high school on the adjacent property.
Dude 1 looks out the window, sees the neighboring school, and says, "Why is our power out, but theirs isn't?"
Dude 2 says, "They have a different transformer."
Dude 3 yells, "Transformers aren't real, idiot!"
Sylvant ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 14:04:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college there was a big derpy guy..we'll call him Bear. Now Bear liked to run his mouth a bit, thinking that he was the most clever and funniest person in the room.
We had a costume design professor who was great and everyone's grandma....until You interuppted her, she was stressing about something, or just on a mood. Then she turned into an agressively passive-agressive Destroyer of Worlds.
This is during Intro to Costuming she's explaining to the class now to add and subtract fractions of an inch, so I've pretty much tuned out since I've never had issues dealing with fractions.
After explaining her convoluted method of it for a bit Bear decides to chime in.
"I think we all understand the concept of an inch".....I swear I saw her eyes start to glow red. I could feel the contained rage seep from her pores. But she restrains herself from slapping him across the room and moves on....
"Wait I don't understand" chimes in Bear. She then proceeds to spend the next 30 or so minutes explaining the "concept of an inch" to him, and basically only him.
Perhaps it would be easier if you just dropped your drawers...
Jheme ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:17:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a travel agent, which feels like teaching sometimes. I live in Australia and I've had an absurd amount of people ask how much cheaper it is to get a bus to America rather than fly.
Another good one was "how far is it from Uluru to Alice Springs by car, and how does that compare to taking the trip by taxi?" For those wondering, it's about 6 hours by either method.
I'm just pleased to find out that the United States doesn't have a monopoly on being intensely dumb on geography.
Favorite Intensely Dumb Geography Story: A man from New Mexico called the ticket office in Atlanta for the 1996 Summer Olympics there, trying to get event tickets. The ticket agent did not believe that New Mexico is a part of the United States, and that the man would have to call his country's ticketing agency.
Jheme ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most times I ever mention New Mexico (a lot of tours travel through Santa Fe or ABQ), people here are completely surprised that there's a New Mexico.
I wonder if anyone ever has that problem with New Zealand?
Jheme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine it's probably limited to Denmark, or concentrated around Scandinavia. But my experience with Scandinavian's has shown them to be fairly smart people.
Had a bunch of Chinese co-workers visiting for a while. Over Christmas they planned to rent a car in Alice Springs and drive to the Kimberley. We persuaded them to try something less... ambitious.
I teach 9th grade world history, and a couple of weeks ago we were covering Spanish colonization of the Americas. At the end of class one day I asked, which is the largest SPANISH SPEAKING COUNTRY in the Americas, while having a map up on the board:
Student A: "MIAMI!"
Student B: "FLORIDA!"
Students C: "TEXAS or LA"
ME: "Guys...COUNTRY...it's directly south (pointing downwards) of us"
And this is why the way geography is taught to US kids is a little bad, we are taught overkill amounts of the US map of the states, to the point a lot of kids lose interest in it and forget most of it, or think that's the entire world. Then once most kids are exhausted of looking at maps, you are taught the major land masses and then just touch on where some country's are located. (I have seen some cases where it takes till Highschool for country locations on a world map are taught) This causes kids to not bother learning world geography, and the only thing they recall from there introduction of maps is the first thing they learnt before they got bored of it, the US state map.
I'm not a teacher and this isn't a dumb question by a student but still a really dumb response.
In middle school once a year, the girls' gym class was always taken over for a few days by Girl Scout leaders. Normally we would do a craft project and talk about female issues and body positivity etc. I remember we are all sitting on the bleachers and one of the leaders was going around the room and having each of us answer the question, "What's your favorite part about being a girl?"
Most girls said stuff like, "I'll get to be a mom someday" or "I love wearing make-up and going shopping". Then she got to this one girl who shouted, "We get to be eaten out by guys!"
Dumb but funny.
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Middle school? Kids are a lot more advanced these days. At that age I was mostly thinking about kissing a girl and maybe seeing her breasts.
Welcome to the era of the Internet, where the discussions that typically adults hide from children till they are older are only 1 click away for a kid of any age surfing the web.
When I was in 7th grade U.S. history class we were talking about the the great earthquake that hit Alaska. One girl in my class raised her hand and asked very serriously, "Why are we talking about Alaska? I thought this was U.S. History."
In the United States, typically yes, we have a separate class for US history where you go over the same tiny bit of history over and over again till you hit Highschool (Highschool typically just teaches it for 1 year and then FINALLY gets into world history). And this is why a lot of Americans don't know shit about stuff like world geography, as US history is taught as if it is the world's history till about Highschool...
:edit: lower grades do talk about a little world history, but it's essentially a really bad summary that really isn't taught with much importance till high school (grades 9 through 12). (also different states may of taught it more but I can only speak for my states education, as until recently the stuff taught that isn't on standardized tests, like history was really up to the state or school to decide.)
This was me. But all my life I've been pretty good at geography, except for Germany. I could never really pin where Germany was, for some odd reason I thought Germany was in South America (you can imagine how confusing the world wars were for me). Until one day, in seventh grade, im fucking around with the globe and someone asks me to find Germany, well I go over to South America, and surprised, it's not there. I really go over it, read every little bumblefuck country in South America, and low and behold I can't find it. So I pipe up to my teacher who is looking down at her desk, "I think this globe is broken, I can't seem to find Germany". " Have you looked over near Poland?" - "no because Poland isn't in South America" she looks up, gives me one of those long stares ending in a slow blink , mumbles how she's speechless, then goes back to what she's doing. I guess I wasn't too good at geography .
TL;DR : Germans crossed the Atlantic to invade Europe.
Spazmer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:09 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume the Hulk's does.
nagsy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:04:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Task: Create a report on an influential black person for Black History Month.
"Can I choose Eminem?"
Later that lesson, same boy: "How about Amy Winehouse?"
A reversal of roles, in my hs freshman current events class, right after Obama was elected, everyone was freaking out about how Obama was 'going to take our guns away' even the teacher. I expressed my indifference and this exchange happened:
T: it'll hurt you, you shoot don't you?
M: yeah, arrows I make myself. With a bow I made myself.
T: You can't do that, you're not Indian.
He was serious, as were a few others who joined in and my unwillingness to bring my bow to school to show them was 'proof' that I was lying. Ahh small town America.
Were they trying to say that you not being a Native American, were therefore technologically incapable of making a bow and arrow, or were they saying that it was not legal to do so?
Their thought was that only native Americans could actually make bows and arrows. That it was some sort of secret they've kept from the rest of the world.
So late to this, but it's fun pretending I'm heard. Had a kid ask me what was the difference between the East and West coast. Thought she meant culturally, but no, she meant what was the geographical difference.
This was in 2005, right after the big Tsunami in Indonesia:
I was giving a lecture to my high school students on the fall of Rome, and said, "So, in 476, Rome officially fell." A girl (who was as sweet as anything but not the brightest bulb) raised her hand and asked, "Was it a tsunami?"
I like how kids immediately smash new information on top of what they already know and mash it up in a big steaming pile of nonsense.
When I worked at daycare we were talking about pets when a 3,5 year old asked me if I had any. I told her my rabbit died that months. She patted me on the knee and said all mournful "it was eaten by crocodile wasn't it".
We live in The Netherlands. But we did read a book that featured a crocodile the week before.
345tom ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 12:56:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "Not a Teacher but" comment: While studying GCSE history, we had someone in the class say "So the Germans went to war because the trees were too high?". Everyone looks around confused for a bit, until someone realises what they meant, and says "You mean the Treaty of Versailles?". Yes. Yes they did mean that.
EDIT: I don't know why they thought we'd be talking about trees being high, I didn't know them that well, or like them that much. I also don't know why everyone seems to doubt this story? It's so innocuous. Like, if I was going to make up a story to get karma, it would be better than this shit?
Is this an accent/pronunciation issue? I'm saying it in my head in an American accent and I don't get it.
345tom ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:56:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I've misphrased it, but the general gist was that they were hearing about the trees being high. I suppose they got the Trees from Treaty, and the high bit from the end of versailles. I don't know what they were hearing exactly in the middle, I wasn't exactly a close friend of theirs. I assume, as it's Northern England, they thought the teacher was dropping the H in High.
That makes far more sense. I said it in my head like Ricky Gervais and now I understand it. Think you lost the Americans on this because it doesn't work well in our accent.
Oh okay. Forgive my skepticism, I had a pretty long Skype call yesterday with my good friend Abe Lincoln while we were playing CS:GO and he warned me about just believing everything I read on the internet.
You're absolutely right, my friend. Nothing ever happens in real life, ever. People in real life never ever have people ask them outrageous and unexpected questions. It's all a lie made up for intangible internet points. How could I have been so foolish?
If you say it aloud in the right kind of UK accent, 'the treaty of versailles' can sound like 'the tree-ie of the size'.
I'm guessing it was a West Midlands school here though, because we are known for both being thick and bad at speaking coherently.
345tom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They misheard I believe and had gone on believing when people were talking about ToV they were talking about the trees. The person wasn't smart. They thought America bombed Pearl Harbour.
I know it's wrong, but I absolutely love when this kind of thing happens. Once watched a 21-22 year old undergrad girl attempt to explain what "psoriasis of the liver" is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What kind of vegetable is salami made of?" She was in 10th grade and believe it or not was genuinely shocked when everyone burst out laughing, then tried to argue her point, then fell into a state of hushed awe when she was proved wrong. Just repeating over and over again "I thought it was a vegetable...I thought salami was a vegetable..."
I can only assume that she thought that they were the same person. This was the early 2000s, and his post-humous album Makaveli & Dillinger Don't Go 2 Sleep had recently been released.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me if the inside of an acorn tasted like cheese to a squirrel. Dumb? Yes. But I'd be lying if I didn't start wondering the same thing.
I assume the map was labeled, so I think there are other problems to attend to before his geographical knowledge.
Ratikus ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:29:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was training a new employee (about 40 years old) on how to use a design program on a computer that you needed a password to access.
Me: You have a temporary password that I'll give you. Once logged in you'll be prompted to create your own unique password.
Employee: OK, what do I type in?
Me: AdMiN8. Be sure the A, M, and N are capitalized.
Employee: What do you mean, capitalized?
Me: Uppercase.
Employee: I don't understand.
Me: Make them big, with the shift key. Remember that the d and i are little.
Employee: What about the 8? Is it a big or a little 8?
Late to the party, but here goes. My sister works with kids who get kicked out of public school for various reasons and she has multiple teenagers at 6th to 8th grade levels. For one of her science tests the question was what galaxy do we live in and a kid answered; Samsung.
I had a child (7th grade) ask me how people decide which day is their birthday.
When I explained to him that your birthday is the day your were born, and you don't get to "choose" it he couldn't believe it and acted as if I told him he just won a million candybars.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that completely. His background was mixed (white and hispanic, born and raised in Baltimore). I asked some probing questions at first, for clarity, and he really did not know what a birthday was, other than a day you get gifts and go to dinner.
Well as you all know, the earth is round and the sun goes around the world, lighting different parts at different times. Now Einstein capped speed, you can't go any faster than the speed of light, which is the speed that dawn moves across the ground. Even if you were in the fastest car imaginable you couldn't drive West fast enough to outrun the dawn. Which makes sense if you think about it, because if you could then you could drive back into night, drive all through the night and find yourself entering last evening which would be time travel. So to stop people doing that Einstein made a rule that nobody could go any faster than light. Anyway, what that means is that even if the moment the Chinese saw it happen they put someone on a plane and flew them to New York to warn people they would arrive right after the attacks. You can't take less than one hour to move into a time zone which is +1 hour, that'd make no sense.
This was in the 3rd year of grad school. We're becoming doctors and his undergraduate degree was in the biological sciences. The tissues were that of fetal brains, eyes & neurological systems. Where the fuck do you think the tissue came from?
There are dueling rumors out there that aborted fetuses being used for all kinds of things / not allowed to be used for anything. The question may have been, how were the fetuses obtained?
First year of teaching, a student is having a discussion with the security guard and I happen to walk by. The student goes, "Mr. [DJBTD], is I'm smart?"
Houseton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: "Do you have a colored pencil sharpener?"
Me: "Sweetie, the sharpener is right by the door as always."
Student: "Yes, but I need to use colored pencils."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:31:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's 2017, black people can use whatever sharpener they want!
This is actually a valid question as in allot of classes, teachers would make a big deal about putting colored pencils in the pencil sharpener students used for normal pencils. This was because the wax tips of colored pencils tend to regularly break off jamming the sharpener wich most teachers seemed to hate fixing. (in any class I ever had where a teacher was like that, they handed out those little plastic ones that use a razer blade you twist around the pencil)
Not really a question, but I teach swimming as an academic class at a university. My first semester teaching I went over the syllabus and then had the class introduce themselves and tell me why they signed up for the class. One girl said "I didn't know we would have to get in the water."
I was literally speechless for a moment.
From a high school senior, taking a World History class. "Here's something I never understood: if Hitler was from Australia, why did he become president of Germany?"
After I corrected her and explained his political rise to power, she still seemed confused. Turns out had never realized that Austria was a country. Everything she'd ever heard about Austria (which, admittedly probably wasn't a whole lot) she attributed to Australia.
It's an analog clock. Even if the kid saw the time on the schedule, they probably wouldn't be able to figure out what that time looks like on the clock.
Source: I'm 22 and kids in my senior year of high school were saying they can't tell time with an analog clock.
Maybe they were thinking of whale sharks? I had thought they were vegetarian before Googling it just now, because of the filter feeding on plankton thing.
I had a kid send me an email asking if I could change his failing grade. He went on vacation during the last three weeks of class! FAIL!
Tallus08 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:52:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few years back a co-worker saw me reading a book at lunch. I had my dictionary on the table. He asked what the dictionary was for. I told him to look up words I don't know the meaning to. I asked him what he did when he didn't know what a word meant. He said he just makes something up and moves on. I was appalled.
The next year, this kid left for college to be a pharmacist.
I weep for the future.
I'm not a teacher, but I remember a few good ones kids would ask in my grade
8th grade a kid asked if the Holocaust happened, about 2 weeks into learning about the Holocaust. He literally thought it was just a fiction story we were learning about to teach human rights.
In my junior year of highschool, we had this REALLY dumb popular girl who said the funniest shit.
We were learning about gravity and the equation for it, and the teacher puts up an image of the Sun, and she fucking blurts out, "Wait, the Sun's not a star?"
"Yes it is..."
"I THOUGHT STARS WERE STAR SHAPED WHAT"
Our teacher literally was just so dumbfounded it looked like it took him a minute to understand what she just said.
celaeneo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:56:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was once asked "does milk come from eggs?", didn't get the chance to respond though because somebody else answered "don't be stupid, it comes from a carton". These were fifteen year olds.
Im not a teacher, but i was asked a question by a friend of mine that i think fits in this circle of stupidity. When we were teens, he asked me "why didnt any milk come out when he sucked on his gf breast" i told him that its just like the nipples on a bottle and that he had to prick it first with a safety pin. 3 days later his girl came up to be calling me an asshole. I still laugh all the time about it and its been almost 30 years.
In a college introductory Astronomy class I TAd for, we were doing a lab on the Sun, where we used a flash animation that allowed you to set your latitude to anywhere on Earth on any day of the year, and watch the path the Sun traces out on the sky. The point was to see things like the Sun setting and rising farther south in the winter and north in the summer (in the northern hemisphere), and that the night/day cycle is more severe the closer you are to the poles.
One of the locations we had them look at was the North Pole itself, since there the Sun moves in horizontal paths across the sky, meaning it's in either perpetual day or perpetual night. While looking at this location, one of my students noticed that the compass indicated that all four cardinal directions now said south, instead of north, south, east, and west. I explained that since you were looking at the North Pole, no matter what direction you travel towards from there, you will be heading directly towards the South Pole, and therefore any direction you go will be south. Admittedly, a weird concept, so I waited patiently while the student processed this and readied their followup question:
"Does that mean at the South Pole you fall of the Earth?"
Not a teacher, but once in chemistry we were talking about density and the instructor was doing a demo with different woodblocks and water to show how objects denser than water sink. A kid in the front politely raised his hand and asked "so if my arm were denser than this desk, would it pass through the desk?"
Kstan777 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:33:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a TA at my university one of my students thought thunder was a result of clouds bumping into each other.
degoba ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:51:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in 6th grade a kid in my religion class asked the teacher if you killed someone in a video game would you go to hell. Everyone treated him like a dumbshit. Fast forward 15 years later to graduate philosophy courses and half my professors could have turned that into a week long discussion.
I had a student with a 9%, has yelled profanities at me, that I thought dropped out of the class after not showing up for months, ask me for a letter of recommendation.... I laughed .... hard... and then kicked him out of the room....
Not a teacher, but I remember one time when I was small "a friend" asked the teacher, in front of the whole class, how to spell U.F.O.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:59:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While learning about the Russian Revolution in high school, my teacher had to spend five minutes explaining how to spell Vladimir Lenin's surname to a girl. This was followed by the girl's friend asking if Vladimir Lenin was related to John Lennon of the Beatles.
High School Spanish class (supposed to speak Spanish in class)
Student: "Miss, are we going to have a quiz this week?"
Teacher: "No se." (Spanish for I don't know)
Student (incredulous): "What?! Why won't you say?"
This student was a Mexican who claimed to be a native Spanish speaker. Apparently she just sucks at two languages...
Zoklett ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:32:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in a high school history - during a brief covering of the Holocaust - an African American girl insisted the teacher quantify whether it was "worse" than slavery. Like, at first she bemoaned the concept that the Holocaust could even be comparable (despite that no one was making the comparison but her). But, then when the can of worms got open and the teacher tried to explain to her that they were two entirely different things that had no relation to each other and that such genocides have actually happened throughout history to many different people, she just seemed to get confused and then she smacked her hands down on her desk and just insisted the teacher tell us which one was "worst". It was just entirely awkward. The teacher was standing there like 'I don't know how to explain to you that neither one was worse than the other because they were both terrible and entirely fucking different' and the girl didn't seem to be capable of comprehending the idea that the two incidences weren't related. She just had to KNOW which was "worse" so she could know what her judgement should be, I guess. Not sure how you quantify such a thing, though. One was an situation that lasted for hundreds of years where a race of people were enslaved, one was the systemic genocide of a race. There's no way to say which was worse there. That's like trying to compare the Armenian Genocide to The Rape Of Nanking. They are both horrible, but totally unrelated, and impossible to quantify in a "which was worse" kind of way.
"Wait, so if they thought he was a great guy, why did they shoot him out of a cannon?"
-Classmate who wasn't familiar with the word "canonize"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:07:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught 7th, 10th and 11th grade social studies in North Hollywood, Ca. These are paraphrased, but entirely true.
"Why did people in the old days use phone booths? Why didn't they just use their cell phones?"
"Was the Gettysburg address Lincoln's email address?"
"Are leprechauns Jewish?"
"Who was the first black person?"
"Why did the Indians look so ratchet?"
"When are we going to learn about Game of Thrones?" -- asked by several students at different points in a history class after I had already explained that Game of Thrones is not set in our world.
just remembered a few others
"Were there skyscrapers in Manhattan when the Indians sold it?"
"What if Martin Luther was an alien?" -- asked by a 7th grader who would ask this same question of nearly every figure we studied.
"Why did Napoleon look so gay?"
One of my favorite weird moments was when the state sent us an essay question for all the students, one that would help determine how much funding the school could receive. I knew the question was too difficult for the students to understand. It asked what Isaac Newton might have meant when he said "If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants"?
I told the student to think about people who are "giants in their field" not literal giants. I asked them who might be considered a giant in music? Someone shouted out "Tupac!" I said who is a giant in sports? Someone else shouted "Lebron James!"
A few weeks later the principal showed me the class' responses to the question and nearly every single one wrote something like this: "Isaac Newton could see further than others because he was standing on the shoulders of Lebron James."
ryanaluz ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 14:51:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher and there really are no stupid questions from students, and if you read the responses you'll see that there are mostly just questions from genuinely curious kids who have really big gaps in their knowledge or understanding, which is not their fault but the fault of previous teachers, their parents, or something they've read or heard about only in passing and misunderstood. The only questions that frustrate me are the ones that are willfully ignorant or are asked as a joke and derail good discussions or by a student that ignored my long and detailed instructions asking me the exact question I just spent minutes answering, but when you're dealing with 12-14 year olds it comes with the territory and it's all entirely forgivable and I'm a teacher to help them learn how to be thoughtful humans.
not quite all of them. a high schooler who thought Chinese people stand on their heads? Also, the kid who asked why we don't see the arctic when we look up? There are a few genuine Kevin stories here.
Dadbod11 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:06:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade during sex ed a fellow student of mine asked "If I have a wet dream while walking down the street and a dog licks it up, will the dog get pregnant?" I've never heard a question since then be dumb on so many levels
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:43:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but had a classmate ask "why does the sun light up the earth but space is still black?" After trying to explain to her that there is nothing there to reflect light, she didn't believe me and said "earth must be flat". This was from a senior in highschool in a very good suburban school district...
IN a College level Biology class, just as an after thought to a discussion,the professor asked, "Is water alive". The class collectively answered with responses like "hmmmm..." "maybe" "I don't know" and "yeah I think so". I was the only person in a class of 30 that said "No". What's worse is the professor didn't correct any of them.
I mean, depending on where the water is and how long it's been there, there could potentially be enough organisms alive IN the water to consider the water itself as being possibly alive, I suppose.
(Not a teacher)
In my 8th grade earth science class a girl asked if they made left-handed hammers. Also if rocks were alive.
9th grade, same girl, watching a documentary about nomadic reindeer herders in Russia. We get to a section where they explain how they put together make-shift fences to keep the reindeer together and how they sometimes have to chase down the ones who get out. Quietly from the back of class, "wait, but couldn't the reindeer just fly over the fence?"
She didn't believe in Santa of course, but did believe Santa's reindeer weren't magical and that all reindeer could fly.
Not to me, but one of my juniors asked another student "Do you know your name?" He needed to write the names of his group members. The class got a good laugh out of that one.
Not a teacher, but we were watching a documentary on Shakespeare in my 10th grade etymology class. Some erudite Brit is analyzing poetry on the screen, and one of my classmates, with 100% genuine candor, says "is that Shakespeare?" He was one of those harmless little dumbass types, good to have around.
We were talking about the population of the Earth and so as an illustration I projected a satellite picture of the Earth (which happened to have the moon next to it).
Student: "Hey what's that thing next to the Earth floating around it?"
We were reading the prologue for Romeo and Juliet. One student poked his head up half way through and shouted "this sounds like the plot of Romeo and Juliet!"
Too many to list honestly... And not all are questions.
1) While teaching 7th grade: Me- Who can give me an example of an extinct species? Student- Pilgrims?
2) While teaching 9th grade, I was holding my Ball Python and telling a story about the time she escaped from her tank. Student- Oh my gosh! Did you find her?
3) While teaching 9th grade: We were working on a study guide together and kids were exchanging papers. Someone wrote "my left nut sack" as an answer. We had a nice convo about how boys only have 1 nut sack even though there are 2 testicles in it. They were amazed.
Teaching 10th grade world literature, last year I asked my students if they knew where Italy was. One of them replied, "isn't that where the Mexicans are from?"
Just today, I showed my seniors a news clip from one of Obama's press conferences last year. One girl looked up at the end, saw the back of Joe Biden's head as they were leaving the room, and goes, "eeeew is that the back of Donald Trump's head?!"
One of my habitual sleepers from last semester woke up in the middle of a lecture and asked, "Ms. Killershwee, do you want some noodles?" I responded with, "I'm in the middle of a lecture. No, I don't want any noodles." Still groggy, he goes, "oh you don't like noodles?" Then he went back to sleep.
Bonus, not a stupid question, but an off the wall comment. In the middle of a silent class during some independent work time, one girl blurts out, "Ms. Killershwee, when I die, surround my coffin with chicken nuggets."
ETA: The same habitual sleeper told me he wasn't any good at drawing when during a discussion I asked them to draw a conclusion about some background information I'd given them on a story we read.
al57115 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:47:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend of mine is an English high school teacher. He tells me all the time that he grades essays that are written in TXT language. Kids complained about failing marks because they think it's the correct spelling of the word. ie. You are = UR
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, there are many stupid questions. Such a high percentage of questions I get during class are stupid questions. Its just nicer to think people are unique and special. Here's one from just yesterday..
Kid looking up bong parts in class. I tell him to put away phone. I show him a map and he asks, "what's the blue part?". That would be the water....
oogmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:01:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, I'm pretty sure the blue part is the land, mother.
1911dude ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:32:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but ill mever forget answer to a geogrqphy question. The teacher asked a girl in our geography class that the channel tunnel was - she went on to describe how it was an underwater rail tunnel that ran from London to New york
Bear in mind This was the geography class for the most academically bright students - i got sent out of the class room because i couldnt stop laughing
BigDisk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That tunnel would be freaking awesome if it were real!
Oooh and you can see all the fishes swimming around when you look out of the window of your train! And there are stops in between with underwater restaurants .... awesome.
I was showing a map of a particular type of homicide in the United States a girl asks me to click on "The United States" I say this is a map of United States. She goes "no click on the United States, I want to see the United States." Then she gets up out of her seat and points at Kansas, where the label "United States of America" was.
Pretty much the same as everywhere else in Kansas; you drive in a straight line for 50 miles until you reach your destination, or a tornado gets in the way. Even then it has to be a bad tornado before I take shelter by the second "A"
Not a teacher. I work at an unnamed coffee shop. We'll call it bar stucks. I have a few.
"Does the cold brew come iced?"
"What's the difference between a hot mocha and an iced mocha?
"Is bacon made of chicken?"
"What does a pumpkin spice latte taste like? Like pumpkin?
"Is this mine?"
"Did you order a chocolate croissant?"
"No I ordered a croissant with chocolate."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:40:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, if someone asked me the hot vs. iced mocha question, I'd assume they were asking if there's a difference other than temperature.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does a pumpkin spice latte taste like? Like pumpkin?
This is sort of a valid question though because pumpkin and "pumpkin spice" are completely unrelated. In reality it's made to taste like a combination of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and a few other spices, which people usually associate with pumpkin pie.
Perfectly valid question, IMO. "Iced" means "with ice cubes," doesn't it? You can totally have cold drinks without ice in them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was still in high school my dad and I went to Arby's to get dinner for the family. They had a deal for five roast beef and cheddar sandwiches for five dollars.
My dad: "Hi I'd like your five for five deal but just plain roast beef sandwiches instead of roast beef and cheddar."
Drive thru guy: "I'm sorry I can't do that."
My dad: "What?"
Drive thru guy: "But I can do five roast beef and cheddars with no cheddar if you want."
Likely a technical issue. He didn't really need to bring it up to the customer, but the system would have charged normal price if he put in five normals, requiring him to list the order as cheese - cheese.
MrRonny6 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it wrong that I have a picture of a blonde, white girl in my head?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:33:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 8th grade, a girl asked if outer space was real
buddy469 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:44:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but AP World History after covering the Gupta Empire for weeks.
Not a teacher but I was in the room when this was asked in class. I'm a bio major in college. This was a higher level bio course, suddenly a guy in my class asked the teacher how conception worked if the vagina was so short and the uterus was next to the stomach. The whole class stopped and looked at him including the professor. This guy a had gotten through all the basic bio classes, which include basic anatamy without ever learning that babies didn't actually grow in a woman's "tummy".
TLDR: Don't tell your kids that babies grow in a woman's tummy.
Furt77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school we were starting to read "To Kill a Mockingbird" --- the teach was telling us to go buy it or check it out at the lib. A girl asks the teacher outloud "how do you spell 'tequila'?"
We were having a random discussion about whales after a quiz ended in 11th grade English.
One girl didn't believe the entire class and teacher that a sperm whale was a real thing.
After a quick google search on her phone to see that indeed they are a real thing she just goes...
"Ohhhh is that why the ocean is so salty?"
Our teachers jaw dropped so fast, it was hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:22:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question, per se, but I was teaching English as a second language in Japan and a college student once asked, "Why do Jews control the media?"
I told her that we should really focus on the vocab and grammar for the day.
Edit: it wasn't a stupid question.
Furt77 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, what's the answer?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told her that I didn't know if Jews 'controlled' the media but it was possible that through generations of persecution, the Jews in general had a culture that favored oral traditions (aka story telling aka live entertaining) to written records and a culture that favored strict personal financial responsibility. It's possible that these two factors maybe made them particularly useful in the entertainment industry.
I also told her that the viewer controls the media by choosing what to and what not to watch.
For the record, I didn't say it that concisely. I write better than I speak.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you. And I really liked that class so I didn't dismiss her.
I gave that class the homework of describing a dystopia. One student came back with, "Women are baby making machines and we kill them when they are 35".
Teaching grade 9 earth and space science unit. Was discussing constellations, as I was building up to the idea of constellations in 3d (they only look they way we see them because of our perspective) a girl asks me if they're real. I said yeah they're real, they're all out there! And she says, yeah I know they're out there, but did we put the stars there to make the pictures?
I guess it's not the dumbest thing ever but I was shocked to hear it.
Yeah it took a lot for me to not laugh. I told her that we didn't put any stars anywhere, we're not capable of that, but throughout history people have looked up at (naturally occuring, haha) stars and seen shapes in them.
I don't really care when students ask really dumb questions because questions make teaching a lot easier. So in this case it was a pretty useful segue into the concept that the stars that form constellations are actually in 3-d, so the shapes we see would be vastly different if we looked at it from different perspectives. ie different points in space.
My dad doesn't know what reddit is so I'll answer for him.
When he taught high school US History, he was teaching a lesson about the first battles o use guerilla warfare. One of the students raises her hand and asks "Mr. Scissoring, how did they teach all dem' gorillas to shoot guns?"
When I was 19, i worked next to a man from Iran, he had a heavy accent but we could understand him perfectly, except once. He became an American citizen by joining the Air Force. He said his first assignment was in Africa fighting "Ga le lahs" Who were terrorizing the small villages and killing the people. I thought he meant the animals, since it was Africa, and my imagination went wild. I was so disappointed to find out it was just guerillas.
The first year in law school is always rough, and one way you get through it is by commiserating about the "gunners," the people who always raise their hand and always spout off their stupid interpretations of the case. And I want to relate my favorite example.
I'm in my admin law class as we're discussing some case, and someone raises her hand and says, among other things, "I don't think the Supreme Court really thought this case through."
Now, real quickly, that is stupid. You can and should criticize Supreme Court cases when you disagree with the conclusions, but they get reams of paper from the parties arguing their positions. Then they hold conferences on each case. Then they bring in the lawyers for oral argument on each case. Then one of the justices writes an opinion (drafted by a clerk), they argue some more, and it comes out. They may get it wrong, they may miss some angles... but they think the case through. Classic first-year-law-student arrogance. (And yes, this student went to an Ivy League undergrad.)
But it gets so much better. As she went on about why our friends at SCOTUS didn't think this case through, I thought to myself, "wait a second..."
See, our professor had clerked for Justice Antonin Scalia. (The professor is liberal, but to his credit, Scalia always hired a liberal as one of his four clerks to make sure he could defend his position.) The case was a Scalia opinion. The textbook said it was from 1998. I Googled the professor's bio. She clerked for him in 1998-1999. Then I looked up the case somewhere else and confirmed that it came out in late 1998.
Putting it all together, there is a 1 in 4 chance that this case, the one the student claimed that SCOTUS didn't think through, was more or less written by the professor, and a 100% chance that the professor spent a lot of time hashing it out with her fellow clerks and a Supreme Court justice. Not that the professor did this for other cases (though she did), but she did this for the exact same case the student was being so presumptuous about.
For the record, the professor reacted a lot better than I would have. "Hm," the professor said. "I'm pretty sure the Court thought this case through."
I asked my teacher in middle school where in Europe was Middle Earth
Zyneck2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:51:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher or a student, but...
A couple of years ago, my brother and I were visiting our aunt, uncle, and 3 cousins (for context: 2 twins girls who were 20, and 1 17 year old boy). One evening, we brought out Cards Against Humanity for some friendly family fun. My brother rolled a C, and we all diligently wrote down our answers until the timer sounded. One of the categories was 'Things That Make You Scream,' or something to that effect. I wrote down 'clitoris.' After some laughter, one of my 20-year-old cousins asked, "What's a clitoris?" To which her twin responded immediately, "[Name], you HAVE a clitoris!"
Not a teacher, but a classmate once asked why the sun doesn't shine as bright at night. Amidst mass confusion we worked out: She was talking about THE MOON.
This is a bit off topic, but I was a summer camp counselor some time ago and had a cabin of about fourteen 14 year olds. One of them was really dumb, a great kid and all but just not smart in any capacity.
Anyways since this was a summer camp everyone slept in these wooden cabins outfitted with bunk beds and electricity, no water, just lights. We had great cafeteria and shower and bathroom facilities, but separate from the cabins. The way we kept the cabins cool-ish on hot days was using some box fans in the windows, but you can imagine how well those work when the temperature outside is exactly the same as it is inside.
One day it was very hot, and we had just had several days of cool weather and this kid comes up to me and goes: "hey it's really hot, can you turn the AC back on?"
I stare at him for a few seconds to determine if he's joking, and when I realize that he isn't I tell him that obviously we don't have AC (these cabins had no drywall, just particle board walls and you could see all the studs and everything, so it's pretty obvious that there's no AC). I legitimately had to climb up on the rafters and show him how the fan worked before he believed me that there was indeed no AC in our cabin.
colby979 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:45:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was giving a test and I was scared they were going to do poorly on it so I wrote 3 specific steps on the board that they needed to follow in order to solve each problem. Not even one minute into the exam, a kid comes up to me complaining, "I don't get this!"
I asked, "did you do step 1?"
"Yes."
I asked, "did you do step 2?"
"Yes."
I asked, "did you do step 3?"
"No."
sweadle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. And that's a fantastic question. Kudos for that student for thinking outside of the box of what it would be like to speak another language.
Dragn555 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:07:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in highschool, a girl asked my teacher seriously, "When you're drowning isn't that when you don't have enough water, and you drought when there's too much?"
English teacher here. After discussing the American Revolutionary War in reference to the Declaration of Independence, a student asked "So, who won the war?"
Note: This happened in an American High School. This student is aiming to attend the University of Notre Dame when he graduates.
"Wait, BC stands for Before Christ? I thought there wasn't anything before Jesus?"
Said student also fervently believed that Egypt was not in Africa, despite all my efforts to fix that misconception.
zhootki ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:17:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, this was a stupid answer. I was teaching English to a class of teenagers in a Russian suburb outside of Moscow. They had a listening called "Lost at Sea!" with a ton of nautical vocab.
So after the listening, I ask: "So what's a battleship?"
Blank stares until one girl (smart, bored, popular), raises her hand. "They're the big shits," she says.
I correct her mildly and hold it together to ask the next question: "OK, so what's a tugboat?"
Blank stares.
Finally, the same girl raises her hand, looking annoyed. "They're the little shits that push the big shits."
I sent this post to my mom, a 2nd grade teacher, and said, "ok, let's hear it." She replied, "most of my kids aren't smart enough to ask stupid questions."
I'm not a teacher but I remember one question the best.
"Who is this guy we are talking about?"
"What do you mean?"
"This guy who is called Bill."
"Bill???"
"Yeah, Tscherno Bill"
eliar91 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:50:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about WWI and trench warfare in grade 11. Dumb girl in class puts up her hand and asks why the country of No Man's Land was between the two sides. Teacher had to take a second to compose himself.
Not stupid per se, but I had someone ask in all seriousness if he had to take sex ed, since he had always been a beta, was always going to be a beta, and all learning about vagina and boobs would do is get him excited about something he was never going to have anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my mom teaches 4th grade. One day in class, one of her kids asked "Mrs. ........., why are we in 4th grade now?" And she responded "well, because you need to go to school to get the skills you'll need for later in life." And the kid responds "I know that, but why are we in 4th grade? I just got out of 3rd grade, but 3 is bigger than 4, so why are we going backwards?" I died the night that she told me about it ๐๐
It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?
I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.
I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.
So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:
Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.
Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice
Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.
Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.
Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.
Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)
Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.
Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.
Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin
Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.
stuckit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:14:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin and his family should be the subject of the most infuriating sit-com ever.
I took my nephew once to church, he walked up to the priest and asked, "are you God?" it was amazing
MLynch8 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:53:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only have one stupid question, and it's if a student asks the exact same question the student before them did. They're usually trying to sneak looks at their phones...
Not even for complicated questions,
"How do you spell "*******?"
"Oh!? Jenny just asked that, you friggin robot, that's why we spelled it out on the board (it's still there, see it?) and I circled it on your paper in red pen!"
Not a teacher, but I was in a team-taught senior level immunology class in college. If you've never taken a team-taught class, usually one professor administrates, and then 3 - 10 professors lecture on different topics during the semester. This really timid looking instructor was lecturing about first level immunity. Things like tears containing lysozyme. Then the instructor talks about how semen is only 1% sperm and the rest is Zinc and other chemicals. This really ghetto girl blurts out, "Is that why it tastes kinda fishy?"...
There wasn't any laughter for a good 30 seconds, there was just pure silence. You could have heard a fucking pin drop. There were 350 people in this room, and the tension in the room was almost electric. The instructor basically turtled into her uncircumsized sweater and then someone started laughing. After a few seconds, the whole room got a quick laugh in and we continued on. That instructor never came back for her next two lectures and another one subbed in for her.
Laue ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:31:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a female second year CS student asked what a loop is. You know, the very basics we passed a fucking year ago. And that she passed somehow.
As a student, I taught one of my classmates how to write a For loop in Java. All of our generic programming classes, including three of the prerequisites for the course we had together that semester, were in Java. We were in our third year.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:38:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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h_lance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually sounds like a good class for the student. Learning actual chemistry and how to critically evaluate scientific claims is good for everyone. Organic chem is a challenging class, though. Students should be prepared for hard work.
There are a number of arguments in favor of consuming foods that meet USDA standards to be labeled organic when possible. Health benefits to the consumer are unclear, certainly. Agricultural workers do benefit though (health risks of working with high concentrations of agricultural chemicals are fairly established), and there are environmental advantages. The system of labeling foods "organic" isn't perfect, it isn't "necessary" to eat only organic foods, and yields are lower, but it is not irrational to at least sometimes choose organic products.
In my experience the people who will deny science rigidly no matter what you teach them are right wingers who deny things like evolution or climate change.
EDIT https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/ahs-fact-sheet If you study "farmers" - owner/operators of farm property - that is an affluent population, overall healthy, but with some different cancer patterns. Migrant farm workers have similar cancer patterns to farmers, but may not enjoy the health benefits of being an affluent farmer (although their active jobs probably provide some protection against cardiovascular disease) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19437276
NOTE - Not saying it's a big deal to eat or not eat organic foods, but it isn't the stupidest thing in the world to say you do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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h_lance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Although that is somewhat comical, there are, of course, numerous courses like the one she was looking for, at technical and agricultural colleges.
I had just finished lecturing not 24 hours before about how the only stupid questions was the one that proved you hadn't thought first... And then I saw an ambulance pull up. In my loud teacher voice I really ask if I need to get involved or not but my words were ,"Is everything alright here?" and one of the supervisors of my program says, "Well obviously not..." I felt very dumb.
When we were discussing organ transplants, a girl we secretly called Tumbleweave asked, "Do ghosts see?" This is the same genius who asked if it meant I had to drive home backwards, since I drove north to get to work, but I travel south to get home. 12 years old.
One time a 10th grader asked me if you could see the latitude and longitude lines on the earth if you went up in a plane. He was serious.
CTHackel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:57:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I was in a class in a community college and the teacher asked if we knew why USA joined the Korean War. A girl sitting across the room yells out because of Pearl Harbor.
When I was in high school my Biology teacher showed us a picture of a cross dominated chicken. We gasped at the black and white chicken! Someone says "no way that doesn't exist!" and she says "remember, just because you haven't seen something doesn't mean it doesn't exist"
"What? you mean you cant drive from NH, to Hawaii?"
She was going on vacation to hawaii and thought her family were driving the whole way there, and that hawaii was somehow connected to the continental US with a bridge or something? she did'nt realise you have to fly or boat.
rachh90 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:02:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a girl in class asked if a movie we watched about Julius Caesar was real footage
Buahaha. Yeah, christian school. Never noticed that before.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:17:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend in high school, who is one of the smartest people I know, who ended up being our valedictorian, had two amazing questions that we still give him shit for.
Before and exam in AP Chemistry he raised his hand and asked "is this test going to require knowledge?" I wasn't in the class, but in pretty sure the teacher just rolled his eyes at him.
Another one was the first day in AP Biology. For some reason, he was arguing with me about cells and atoms. He asked our teacher "is a cell a living thing?" (I think he got cells and atoms mixed up). The teacher said to him "are you serious?"
Kanotari ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:38:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach music. Every year, there's a kid who's late to the concert. Every single damn time, then they get an embarrassing C in band. So every year, I tell them what time they need to show up about ten times, I write it on the board, I put it on our website, I put it on our calendar. I even send them those 90s-esque emails with flashing, moving text.
So after a long winded speech of when we needed to be at the concert, what we needed to wear, and what we needed to bring, Evan raises his hand. "What time should we be there tonight?"
I simply roll my eyes and point at the board. The girl who sits next to Evan lets out this theatrical sigh, but Evan's hand goes up again.
"Can I wear this?" He's wearing jeans and a grungy t-shirt. I sigh and point at the board, where I've written the dress code.
"Do I need to bring my clarinet?" No, Evan. I expect you to show up and beatbox your parts. I didn't even justify that with a response.
"Do... do I need to like, be at this concert?" Well, I suppose if he didn't mind failing band, then no.
And no, Evan wasn't trolling or in special education; he was just an idiot. A truly impressive idiot. He did manage to show up at the concert, but he forgot his music because I forgot to write it on the board. Shockingly, he graduated. I'm still in awe.
He's called Henry the fifth, I couldn't find his surname, just that it starts with a V. - 17 year old.
dausy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:47:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In nursing school, one of my fellow students asked our clinical preceptor "how does the umbilical cord attach to the moms belly button if the baby is inside the moms uterus? wouldnt the walls of the uterus get in the way?"
she thought the umbilical cord was connected from the moms belly button to the babies belly button.
BootnCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but we were having a debate in history class about whether the Electoral College should abolished or not and one kid was talking about how the United States is defined as a democracy and another kid looks at him and says how can we be a democratic nation if we have a Republican president taking office tomorrow? It's safe to say his team lost the debate.
mathwin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:36:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was a TA in my computer science program, I was tasked with helping other people with their resumes, papers, etc. So these aren't really questions that I've been asked so much as really, really awful writing.
One guy handed me his resume to edit. It immediately stood out to me that he'd added a title to it. Like, it says "Resume" at the top, then his contact info, name and such, and then there's a title before it goes into the objective statement (like a miniature cover letter). I swear to god, this cretin wrote "A spark of imagination" as the title of his resume, before launching into an objective statement about how he's the second coming. I circled it, with the note "What the fuck is this shit?!" and made sure that he and everyone else knew that it was absolutely not acceptable to title your resume anything other than "resume". He ended up getting expelled for being a complete moron, a couple years later.
I had a guy ask me to help him with a paper he was writing on cryptography, so I had him send me a draft. It was not only not complete, but it made absolutely no sense. I've still got some of it, which I use as an example of how not to write for anyone else who needs lessons. Here's my favorite sentence: "The following paragraph will give a high-level overview of each scheme stating what it does and whether or not of the possibility of it being effected by the concerned in the mathematical advancement in solving the discrete logarithm problem." I actually don't know if he ended up doing well on it or not; he never told me the outcome.
I also have a number of really dumb things that students have submitted to me in their code, or written on tests. In one of my classes, I gave a non-graded test every week to try to keep track of what the students were and weren't learning. The twist was that any question that a majority got wrong the week before was repeated on the next test. I had more than one question that I had to ask three times before enough people could solve it.
I'm a high school music teacher. My favorite stupid question - this is for real - "Wait, do people from other countries think in a different language?"
Not a teacher but I have several dumb questions I have heard over the years. One of the more notable ones when was in high school when learning about Vietnam War I had a classmate ask if Vietnam and Africa were the same place. Then in a different history class covering the Chernobyl disaster I had another class mate ask what radiation was and why was it bad for you. High school strange times very strange times indeed
Reading "One Fish Two Fish" to second graders. Kid raises his hand, "Mr. my name when did God die?" I just sat there for a second. 4th day of teaching.
I teach high school English. After watching the older version of To Kill a Mockingbird, one of my sophomores raised her hands and asked "Wait, so was everything back then in black and white?"
I asked for clarification. Yes, she was wondering if our world was somehow in black and white. She's also one of my better writers and a total sweetheart, but...what?
I'm not a teacher but in college once a teacher asked the class "Why are bodies buried 6 feet under" and it clicked in my brain and it was like the greatest epiphany ever as i yelled "ZOMBIES!!!!". I didn't even catch why they were laughing for a minute.
xVoidzy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:17:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my 7th grade class when we were going over Fahrenheit 451, this happened:
Teacher: "So why do you think they were burning the books?"
Student: -Shoots up hand- "Did they burn the books because they wanted to save trees?"
Music teacher here. I was going over diction/enunciation with a group of high schoolers:
Me: Okay, we all know what vowels are, right?
Students: general sounds of affirmation
Me: Okay, great. Now, do we all know what consonants are?
Student: You mean like Africa?
Congratulations American education system! You've failed.
Not a teacher, but when I was in 7th grade, we were reading Shane. One of the kids raised his hand and asked why Shane was getting his haircut all the time. We were all confused, and my teacher responded that Shane never got his haircut in the novel. Defiantly, the kid pointed out where in the book Shane went into the saloon.
A fellow med student pointed at a structure in a cadaver and asked "Is this a typical size for a prostate?" the professor assisting replied "hmm, thats an interesting question... what is that structure above where your pointing?" to which the student replied "The uterus? what about it?"
Looks like I got here a bit late but here we go: I'm in high school Spanish class and one of those know it all types, ya know, the ones who like to claim they are fluent and try to speak Spanish to people who actually speak Spanish and just butcher it? Yeah, one of them, she asked the teacher "Is Cinco de Mayo always on the fifth of May"?
17 year old me was screaming inside my head "You dumb bitch, it LITERALLY MEANS fifth of May"!!
Frapplo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watching a film about early man. Student asks: "Did they use real cavemen for this?"
RachelAS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:34:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grade history, talking about the Navajo codetalkers of WWII: "Why didn't the Japanese just use their OWN Navajo?"
Not a teacher but was in Biology lecture when a student asked the professor if he just said that "sloths evolved from avocados". The expression was priceless and the entire 300 person class erupted in laughter. Woof.
My classmate got into a ten minute conversation on how to spell tv. He asked, the teacher said "tv", he said "right but how do you spell that". It took him way to long to figure it out.
Sounds like nobody wanted to spell t-e-l-e-v-i-s-i-o-n but him?
ccarlo42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:20:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is gonna get buried, but right after announcing that there are no stupid questions I was talking about mammals and a student asked "What's a mammal?" A master's student. FML
Eneryi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I'm late as hell and I was also a classmate not the teacher but I just remembered this:
We were young german students, learning about Nazis, jews and the Holocaust. When we did a test, one of the questions was "What's the greatest holyday of jews?" And my friend, not knowing the answer wrote down "the Holocaust"......
We weren't far into the topic and he switcherood some words in his mind but daaamn
There really are no stupid questions, especially when students are learning a second language. On an open-book exam about how to properly format papers in APA, a student asked, after a month of instruction, "Which page do I find the 'how to format in APA' manual?"
It's the only book you're allowed ya big dum dum.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:50:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, I come to class every single day. How could I possibly not be passing your class?"
"Johnny I agree, you do come to class every day and you are a nice kid who causes me no problems. Unfortunately, you have never completed a single assignment, or homework and have not submitted any of the projects that make up the summative evaluation."
"Ya, but I'm here everyday though."
TL:DR In life, often just showing up alone is NOT enough.
Not a teacher but in my 8th grade science class this girl asks the teacher why we haven't traveled to the sun. The whole class laughs and she responds by saying "Listen, I'm not dumb, I know it's too hot to go during the day, I'm asking why we don't go at night."
The teacher left the room.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but when they wash themselves it pops out. Don't have a male cat I assume?
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two of them and I've never seen that happen. They are neutered, so would lack of testosterone account for that, or have I just not been paying enough attention?
No clue. I have mine for 9 years and only saw it twice I think. Little red pinky thingy. I'm soooo not Googling that either so you're on your own mate.
Not a professor but in my physics class one week before the final exam a girl raises her hand and asks, "What does the variable g stand for?" The professor looks at her and tells her she should see him after class to discuss her options for retaking the class.
Not a teacher but, the annoying girl (the one who asked things like, don't we have homework due?) in my English class senior year of high school verbatim:
"Do we use paper for this assignment?" ...wtf... it was an in class assignment/essay and we did not have a computer in the room....
How she's made it through life I have no idea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always found that those kind of people asked those sorts of questions for the attention.
Im not a teacher but during a lesson about astronomy in highschool, our teacher show us pitures of gas clouds, galaxys and starclusters made by the Hubble space telescope. One of my classmates asked: Did we go to all this places with rockets?
Obligatory not a teacher, but I remember in 7th or 8th grade geography class, I have two specific memories of students asking the following about US geography:
"Where's California?"
and (not really a question, but)
"I thought Wisconsin was on the West Coast. Where is it?"
Not a teacher but had a classmate in a Physics class ask why after pushing down on a desk it doesn't float up to the ceiling... he dropped out that semester.
A fellow chemistry classmate once asked if absolute zero occurs naturally anywhere.
I thought that's a fair question. Space is pretty cold.
After the teacher explained that no it doesn't, the student turned to her friend and said "Oh. I thought it'd be in Alaska or something"
fvrick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here but in Environmental Science we were talking about biotic vs abiotic (living vs nonliving) and some kid legitimately asked if rocks were a living thing. About a month later he tries telling the teacher that he could survive a tsunami by wearing a life jacket and diving under the water. I have multiple classes with this kid. I could go on and on.
I teach high school history. One time, a student of mine was looking at a globe I had in my classroom, and she confusingly asked me, in front of everyone else, "how, when people leave Earth, or a planet..., how do they, ya know, break through the rocks?"
I asked, "What rocks?"
And she began tapping on surface of the globe with her knuckles, and replied "the rocks."
The whole class went nuts as they realized that this student believed that we live at the center of the Earth, and that planets are covered in a thick candy-like rock shell that we must bust out of whenever we send a rocket into space. I don't think she understood the concept of atmosphere.
Well, that story is 10 years old now, and she's probably 26 years old. If she hasn't figured it out yet then there's probably nothing I can do now. Lol
I was in AP history in 11th grade and we were invited to hear a holocaust survivor speak to the 8th grade class, since they had just read Diary of Young Girl. This man was from Belgium and outlined his path throughout various labor camps. He then took questions and one of the 8th grade girls raised her hand and seriously asked, "Did you know Anne Frank?"
My class mates and I struggled not to laugh at her, but the man was very kind to her and just said no and described why the chances would be slim. Very, very nice man.
I kid you not. Once had a student in a PSY 100 class ask me how Sigmund Freud got involved with tigers and when we'll get around to talking about it. Yep... for some reason he thought the class discussion was about Siegfried and Roy.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a class in college full of nursing students and medical students. After a basic anatomy lecture a student asked if females pee out of vaginal opening. She thought there were only two holes.
acostel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:00:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got asked by a student in my first year: "Sir, you know that stage when you're a teenager and, when you're older, and want to be a pornstar, do you ever grow out of it?" I answered "no".
I was in a 9th grade class* (kids are from 13-15), when a girl asked, "Why do Alaska and Hawaii have such different weather when they're so close to each other on the map?"
Was teaching an 8th grade science class, we were discussing the solar system. One student in particular had a puzzled look on his/her face for most of the class. After class they lagged behind, and when it was just the two of us left they finally felt comfortable enough to ask me what the difference was between a sun, a star, and a planet.
I don't like to think of this as a 'stupid' question (although, I suppose some people could classify it that way). Rather, I think about it as an exercise for me as an educator to always remember not to assume prior knowledge on the part of the students. Very eye opening experience for me.
Not a teacher, but I think it was one of my more stupid comments--
In my AP physics class we were learning optics, light, and stuff like that. And I had the realization that everything we perceive is due to light bouncing off and back into our eyes. So I asked, what if there was no light? And my teacher gave a confused look and said we wouldn't be able to see.
Interrupted in the middle of a week 5 biology lecture to about 200 community college students by student who wanted to know, "when you want me to get my book by"
jrogowy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once when I was teaching the anatomy of the human eye, I explained how light enters the eye and is flipped upside down; our brain then rotates the image to appear correct. A student was visibly upset by my explanation and said "That's stupid, then we are all sitting on the ceiling right now". I explained that only the light entering the eye is flipped but the brain corrects it to appear normal. He got really mad and started screaming that I didn't understand how gravity worked and that I shouldn't be a teacher and stormed out of the room. The students and I just looked at each other with puzzled looks on our face for a bit afterwards. LOL
I'm not a teacher but a girl in my grade once insisted that Oklahoma was a city in Texas because when she drove to Oklahoma with her family she didn't see the ground change color like on the maps.
A year later I was at this girls house for the night. When she got out of the shower she started panicking and frantically fanning the ceiling with a magazine. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I don't want the smoke from my shower to set off the fire alarm".. I had never laughed so hard in my life.
I was teaching a self-defense course for college students. This course involved the basic handling of firearms; Pistols, Rifles, and Shotguns. It was a 3-part, 9 hour (total) course that would give, in addition to basic safety knowledge and marksmanship training, a certification that would allow the individual to apply for a concealed carry permit.
Anyways, we're doing the part about rifles and we have a slideshow going. A slide flashes on with an AK equipped with a bayonet. I had one guy ask what the bayonet was for. This is a legitimate question as bayonets are goddamn useless in most modern combat but what followed was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in any class:
Student A: "What is the bayonet for? Can't you just shoot the guy?"
Student B: "It's for when they run out of ammo. They shove the bayonet in there and shoot it at the bad guys."
...
I had to explain why he was wrong for 20 minutes. This ended up with me taking apart two different rifles and two different cartridges to explain powder, primers, etc. In the end I think he was just too proud to admit his mistake.
Not a question asked, but I had a student write on a quiz that the main character in Do Androids Dream of Electric sheep was a robot sheep farmer... it was a valiant try.
AlMoatez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a college girl in the US once asked me if we had cars in the Middle East, she actually thought we commuted on camels, that question was followed by a series of other questions including "do you guys have toilets like us, or you just do your business in nature?"
ChemBDA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is there isn't any stupid question. Reading through all the example given here just strengthened my resolve. We call questions stupid when we feel they should have known the answer already. But the only stupid thing would be not asking the question; Not trying to learn.
P.s. If you care, I teach chemistry/science in general from elementary through college.
Not a teacher but in 7th grade science class one girl asked if it snowed on the other side of the sun, the look on my teachers face was amazing... that's still the dumbest question I've ever heard in my whole life
I'm not a teacher, but I had a classmate (who somehow went on to become valedictorian) in my highschool AP Biology class who asked, "If the earth spun the other way would we all be midgets?" This was after my teacher went on about "we," meaning the earth, are not perfectly round because of the way the earth spins on its axis. My classmate thought he meant "we," as in, people were not perfectly round because of the earth's rotation.
Not a teacher but one of my classmates denied the existence of the Panama Canal, INSISTING that North and South America were totally connected. I said "Whaaaat?" Looked at the teacher and she gave me a nod. Clearly didn't want to deal with it.
DonDoby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 18 year old daughter asked me during the winter " Are their any birds still left in Georgia or are they already in South America?"
Not a teacher, but I had a classmate in 8th grade that forgot how gravity worked for a moment and asked me, very deadpan, 'hey, if Brazil is in the bottom of the planet why do Brazillians don't fall off?' (Yes, I remember clearly she specifically said Brazillians, not just 'the south'). When she saw my amused yet confused face, she remembered gravity exists and started laughing her ass off at her own stupid question.
Canadian, my social studies teacher in high school said when he retires he will publish a book of the stupidest things his students have said. Two I was there for I love:
After talking about parliment in Ottawa(our capitol) "wait, Ottowa isn't a country?"
Teachers brother was a lawyer who just made partner "you sound really happy for him but isn't he going to miss being a lawyer?'"
Spazmer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:32:41 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, I read on reddit about a Canadian that couldn't spell Ottawa (our capitol) correctly.
ShisaDog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but here in TN in an American Government class, an adult asked if the president could be his own vice president and if not, why not?
I'm not an instructor but, in high school biology I remember a friend of mine ask what made cheese red...turns out she had been eating the wax coating for years without realizing you had to peel it off first.
In my first year of secondary school in England a fellow pupil asked the question, "if the Norman's invaded England in 1066 and there has been no invasions since, why are not speaking Normish?"
I was TAing a university course in statistics, and during office hours I was helping a student with the axes of a graph and my office mate cracked up when I had to explain "no, horizontal goes this way *moves finger back and forth*".
bradeo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:14:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, why the fuck do they even call them buffalo wings in the first place, what are you meant to think?! something like 'well its called a buffalo so I guess it must be made from.......whos gonna come up with chicken from just the name? I think thats a reasonable question seeing as very few kids have ever seen a buffalo in person.
No, I realised buffalo didn't have wings but was still confused by the naming convention.
PTKtm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 7th grade in FLE, there was this one short kid with glasses that was a real big introvert, never said a thing to anyone. We were discussing the female anatomy when he just blurted out "So which boob is the vagina?" The whole class busted out laughing, and he didn't come to school for the rest of the week, saying he was sick but nobody believed it.
Not a teacher but when I was about 11 years old during a lesson about The Beatles a fellow class mate raised his hand and asked our teacher 'sir what colour is the yellow submarine?' Then cried when the whole class (teacher included) burst out laughing for a solid 5 minutes.... same kid also asked 'sir how do you spell BBC?', a little later on in the year
K-Fing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But when I was in high school a girl next to me saw me writing in Hiragana. She asked what that was, so I told her it was one of the Japanese alphabets. I off handedly mentioned that the guy second from the front row, was in the same Japanese class as me. She asked why he was taking Japanese if he already spoke the language. He was Hmong, from Laos.
Not a teacher, but when I was in 8th grade we were all gonna go bird watching. One of my classmates asked, "Wait, we're not on the look-out for penguins, right?!".
Sure I live in Sweden, but come on.
StimpyMD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In US history, with a big map of the continental United States on the wall. The teacher asked what advantages the north had. A kid raised his hand and said the North had the highground while the South had to fight up hill the entire time.
peeje172 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask so many questions that he was placed on limits by his other teachers. Thinking this is difficult to do (get a teacher to do so), I decided to count how many times he'd ask a question if given free range. Turns out I needed to put him on a limit bc he asked 57 in one period, and additionally said my name 71 times. If he asked something stupid or irrelevant (as was often the case) he would lose whatever remaining questions he had for the day. Once in the middle of a lesson he asked "how can I tell the difference between a fat woman and a pregnant woman". On a separate occasion I had a girl say " Mr. D, who invented flowers and grass? I bet they're rich..."
Not a teacher, but was stationed in Korea in the U.S. Army. A few of us were talking while waiting for formation and I pulled out my new cell phone to check the time. An E-5 saw it and asked if I bought it off base, and I said yes. She looked at it for a few seconds and then asked, "How'd you get it with U.S. numbers on it?" I started laughing at her joke before realising from her expression that it wasn't a joke.... This was in front of about 20 other troops....
I had a student last year (8th grade) ask me how the Earth doesn't sink. I was caught somewhat off guard by this so I asked her what she meant. "Well the Earth floats on a big ocean so how come it doesn't sink?"
The poor girl adamantly defended her theory throughout the entire class cracking up with laughter. We were talking about the goddamn battle of Stalingrad I have no idea how it even came up for her.
That's absurd. Everyone knows the Earth rides on the back of a giant turtle. Pffft!
dineal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a first grader ask, "Do midgets have birthdays?"
Elzam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We have a test today?"
Every time I make sure to write it on the board a week beforehand and mention it in the 5-10 minutes of class catch-up/announcements in the beginning of the block, I'll get at least 3-4 mentions of this. It's not a sexy question by any means that will get a lot of laughs from most, but my first year teaching I thought it was something wrong with how I presented the info, so I went back to the board constantly. Online notifiers, parent notifications, remindme text groups, etc.
I teach French, and one student thought French people thought in English, then translated what they wanted to say into French, and then said it - it never occurred to him that they manage without English completely.
had a student ask me if i thought hacking was cool. He called himself a hacker with skills. said he knew enough to be dangerous. yeah...he had taken my intro to computer class 2 times before me...and yet failed it again...
xiaodre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:07:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in sex education class, the teacher was talking about mucus during sex, and i blurted out, "who in the world is spitting at a time like this?!"
.
everybody laughed, including the teacher, but i was serious!
Not a teacher, but when I was in junior high, we were having a trivia day in history class and the teacher asked this girl (mind you, a blonde hottie who sadly fit the stereotype way too well) "Who died at Custer's last stand?"
She looked at him with a blank stare on her face, and asked, "What is Custer's last stand?"
Teacher, shook his head and asked again, with emphasis, "who died at CUSTER'S last stand?"
Student, still not comprehending it, said "pass".
To this day, I don't know how this teacher kept composed with the dumb shit that came out of her mouth.
I'm not a teacher, but have a good one about an adult stupid question...
One of my employees has a high school son that plays football, and the coach held a Football 101 class for parents who didn't know much about the sport and wanted to learn. He started the session by saying there were no stupid questions. During the Q&A portion at the end of the session one mom asked why the yellow line they have in NFL games wasn't on the field. The coach somehow kept a straight face and explained that it's added in using technology and that she should watch the guys with the chains on the sideline at games in person.
I was looking at a world map and asked my teacher what was on the other side of the world.
My teacher was dumbfounded and it took her about a full minute to realize she needed to explain to me that a world map is an unraveled globe.
TheSorge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, someone asked if cats had metal claws. I have no idea what the fuck was going through their head. And it was an English class, so I don't think it was related to whatever we were doing.
I have a prosthetic eye. "So can you see out of it?"
MRAII ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:26:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once on a field trip to the rodeo--we walked past some bulls laying down in the barn: "I didn't know bulls lay eggs" I just pretended to ignore that comment.
ploobear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:27:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was subbing for a 7th grade history class. Kids were learning about European explorers and Columbus came up. There was a little bit about the myth of him discovering that the earth was round, but it didn't go into detail so I mentioned that, to my knowledge, the ancient greeks figured out it was round and there were likely others who did as well. Kid in the back asks why Columbus didn't just google it.
When I was in 7th grade a student literally thought that ham was an animal and that's where the meat came from. She was completely serious and believed that when she ate ham it wasn't from a pig
She's currently one of the smartest kids in our grade. How the times have changed her.
We had just finished watching a "What If" video about the whole world being annihilated by Nuclear Holocaust. I mean, humans wiped out and only the cockroaches remain. Girl raises her hand and asks "Is this based on a true story?"
I'm not a teacher but back in high school a girl in my class asked my French teacher
"See when a French person thinks something in their head, do they think it in English then say it in French?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am a teacher now... But this was me at school. Learning about American history and the "Underground Railroad" and I asked if it was a real railroad and how that worked. I was 18. My friends were merciless.
While I am a teacher now, I will never forget this question from university:
300 level grammar class. Bleach-blonde barbie in the back asks, "wait, what's the difference between a noun and a verb?"
She dropped the class by the following week.
I'm not a teacher but in one class in middle school the teacher asked the class if they knew why the Jewish calander was different than the ones we use, and a student answered "Because they are in a different time zone". It took a good 20 minutes for the teacher to get her composure after that.
I... have more of a stupid answer story. In a health class in high school, the teacher did a really stupid activity where she wrote a bunch of words on the board, and then each person had to write on some post-it notes what came to mind when they heard each word. One of the words was "well-being", and at the time I was working on programming a game for fun, in which one of the characters was an old man who lived in a well. So, me being the honest person I was, I truthfully wrote that the first thing I thought of when I heard "well-being" was a person who lives in a well. The teacher flipped out, and because she didn't see that it was me who wrote that answer, she yelled at the whole class for a few minutes about not taking her seriously. What I learned in that day of class is that honesty is not always the best policy :/
Honesty is always the best policy. Think about itโif you hadn't answered honestly you would have never been able to supply us with this wonderful story.
Not a teacher but a girl in my grade 9 or 10 science class asked how we could possibly fully close all of the holes in the ozone layer since we keep sending space shuttles and satellites up through it.
When told that the ozone layer wasn't solid, she asked why the light doesn't come through from everywhere at night instead of just the holes.
Then we realized she thought that stars were the light getting through holes in the solid black ozone layer at night
iq911506 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my sociology class we were discussing racism and how everyone is truly equal. One student insisted and argued that African Americans are better at sports because they have extra leg muscles.
In high school on a class trip to Washington DC a girl asked if that was the White House. We were in front of it and agreed. Turned around to see she was looking at another building across the street.
Not a teacher. This was my gf "a carpenter is someone who lays carpets right?"
illepic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really disappointed at the lack of Kevin in this thread.
am232009 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've only been teaching for 2 years and sometimes I don't even know how to respond to the questions I get asked. For context, I teach high school (ages 14-18). This week I had to explain to a student that her pay check would be taxed. She was shocked because she thought only adults had to pay taxes. But I think my favorite question of all time was from my first year. I worked in a charter school that served a very unique population. One day a student asked me (because I'm the science teacher) if her guy friend would be able to pass a drug test if she gave him pee. She was worried they would be able to tell it was girl pee and not boy pee. Not necessarily the stupidest question ever, just really stupid to tell your teacher you're going to help another student pass a drug test and lie to their PO.
Well also not a teacher but I was in a sex Ed class as a freshman is high school when a girl asks if you could get pregnant from oral sex. The whole class was laughing at her, my buddy next to me was cracking up the hardest when he exclaimed "what the hell!? How can you get pregnant from talking about sex?"
Needless to say everybody in the class found a new victim to laughter at.
artetak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was there when a 15 year old didn't know how to read the numerical version of dates. Like....she wouldn't be able to tell that 1/27/17 would be January twenty seventh, 2017.
A lot of people would say that the date you specified was the first day of the 27th month in a year ending in '17', possibly 1917, 1817, 1717 apart from 2017.
Learn something new everyday. I have actually never heard of that. It was always taught mm/dd/yyyy or mm/dd/yy. So always the 2 digit month, 2 digit day and either 4 digit or 2 digit year. So 1/27/17 would be read as January 27th, 2017. Also written like 01/27/2017 or 01/27/17.
As far as I know, that month-day-system is only used in the US. Most other countries use day-month-year, many computers internally use year-month-day because it sorts easily in a computer.
Not a teacher, but in calculus class, the teacher was reviewing limits at infinity. We got to sin(x) or something like that, the teacher asks why the limit doesn't exist, and the student replies, "because it ovulates".
Can twins have different dads? This was sophomore American history. And yes they can, I asked a biology teacher.
Polandra ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school is so archer here. So maybe to choose from, but here's the most recent one:
A student today declared that she thought chickens, roosters, and hens were all different types of birds. After confirming that actually, roosters and hens were just male and female chickens she ponders for a bit. And then excitedly asks "wait! So that means there's chicken milk! Can I try chicken milk?"
After my eyes bugged out for a moment pondering this turn of events I calmly said "well, chickens aren't mammals so.....?" She had no idea what that meant so I followed up with "mammals are the only animals that make milk. Chickens are birds, not mammals they don't make milk." She was so disappointed she could go milk a chicken. Meanwhile the rest of the room was just staring dumbfounded.
High school foreign language: "Why do people speak in other languages when they all just translate into English in their heads anyway?"
Yes. He thought that everyone everywhere has English words in their brains and speak their own languages just to be difficult.
Exciples ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:58:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a Geology class at a community college a female student approximately early 20's asked during lecture about layers of the earth, "how long would it take to drill through the earth and get to China?" She was serious.
I recorded this lecture, and still listen to it from time to time when I need a good laugh.
High school English teacher. Ended up arguing with a an 18 year old about the existence of unicorns because she'd found pictures on the internet. She got extremely defensive when I explained photoshop to her and that people put stuff on the internet to purposefully fool people who are ignorant. Another student filmed us. I and the principal had to meet with her and her mom.
More cute than stupid because of the age...a second grader shared his concern with me weeks after the fact. We had been doing a unit of reading with informational books and had read a book about bugs. This particular page was about black widows and one of the facts in the book said that black widows used to build webs in the old outhouse style toilets. So weeks later, the little boy comes to me and says he's been scared to sit on his toilet for all this time!
Disclaimer: I am not a teacher nor student. But since this falls into the stupidest questions category I wanted to share it with you good people.
During the holidays my parents, sister, and I go to my grandparents house in Myrtle Beach. They have heavy native American heritage and dark toned but consider themselves white and are heavily racist to non white races.
Last month during Christmas holiday my sister decides to take her half white, half Mexican boyfriend who was raised here in SC and they've been going out for about 2 years so no big deal. My grandmother constantly berates him for being Mexican even though he's not from Mexico or full blooded.
Anyway, during our Christmas dinner my grandparents decided to invite some of their heavy Conservative friends over to enjoy as well. One of their friends was a really nice old lady who introduced herself to us as a former English teacher from a local high school. She was super sweet and nice to us during the dinner.
Sometime during our conversation she introduces herself to my sisters boyfriend and told him that she was delighted he could travel all the way here to enjoy a special Christmas dinner (we all thought it meant that he went with us for Christmas instead of being with his own family).
Y'all.... right after she introduced herself she looks him dead in the eyes and asks if they celebrate Christmas in Mexico. Everyone just just stopped chewing their food, it became super quite and everyone around the table was looking at him to answer her question. He was actually polite and didn't get mad or anything. He just told her that they do celebrate it but he's not from Mexico. She told him sorry and that she just assumed that he lived there when he was a child.
He laughed playing along with her and asked if she ever hear of Felice Navidad and she told him she had never heard of that song in her entire life.
Both me and my sisters jaw had to be on the floor after hearing all this and the rest of the people around the table just continued eating like it wasnt a big deal. I just couldn't believe a "teacher" would assume he was from Mexico and she had no clue how other countries around the world celebrated Christmas.
TL;DR: I live with a racist family. Sisters half white/Mexican American bf comes to Christmas dinner. Gets asked if people in Mexico celebrates Christmas by a former high school English teacher.
"What if we could makr elements out of atoms?" - a 9th grade student in Physical Science, North Carolina. I swear I'll never forget it. I just... wow... sometimes I wonder how smart our average person is.
2Twice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:03:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 6-8th grades. I should start writing down what kids say. Ridiculousness happens on a daily basis. Here's a dead sub but might as well mention it. /r/todayastudent
"But everyone knows evolution isn't real right? I mean dinosaurs are a trick."
Asked by a nurse who recently graduated from Penn State
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in 7th grade Sex Ed, we watched this movie about sperm and how sex works in a somewhat cheesy way (had talking sperm, it was weird), abd after watching it, some guys asked "So sperms can talk?"
My wife teaches 6th grade. During an astronomy lesson she explained that Uranus has slight rings around the planet like Saturn. She further explained that the planet rotates on its side (vaguely perpendicular to the rotation of earth). A student then exclaimed with complete understanding, "Ooooooh. So THAT's why the rings don't fall off."
Not a teacher, but here's a stupid comment I made in the 3rd grade that still haunts me (since 1977).
For several days, my teacher was teaching us about our address and how to address an envelope, for example. Every time, she would write, 'Rahway, NJ' then pause and ask us for the zip code. It got to where I got the impression she genuinely didn't know and had to ask each time.
I finally blurted out, with a slightly sarcastic (and definitely disrespectful tone): 'Mrs. Wolman...it's 07065. How come you don't even know your own zipcode?' 'Well, Brian, it's because I don't live here.'
Up until then, my seven year old self assumed teachers were assigned to the school where they lived, just like I was as a student. I was embarrassed when I realize how dumb that assumption was. And it still bugs me down to this day.
I once taught music at a very rural school. Incredibly rural. As in, nothing for miles in any direction.
I tell the students that our concert begins at 7pm. I want everyone there dressed and ready to perform at 6:45pm. One student, who always found a way to get on my nerves, asks "What if there's traffic?"
Ermcb70 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a teacher who wrote stupid questions on the board.
"I am running out of space, Can I put J.W. for George Washington?"
scyaxe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my chemistry class didn't know that there were passengers on the 9/11 planes. This was a high school junior.
In my friends history class, they were discussing the Donner party, where the pioneers fucked up in winter and had to eat their horses and a girl raised her hand and said 'Mr. Greene, you can't eat a horse, a horse is nothing but muscle'. There was silence for about ten seconds in the class.
Not a teacher, or in a class but had a conversation with a friend who asked if eggs were dairy or not, because eggs are in the dairy section at the store with milk.
Something similar, I overheard a conversation where a girl was very adamant that, "If you're lactose intolerant, you can't eat eggs!" We're college level....
w0lfie_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my history teacher from high school told my class that while he was doing a presentation for a college, or something similar to that, (forgot what the circumstances were) that a girl asked if World War 1 came before or after World War 2.
Never thought it was a true story, but there definitely is such a thing as a stupid question. So at least that message was loud and clear.
After I handed out the bubble sheets for the semester test, he asked, "How am I supposed to answer this?!" His tone was rather incredulous, like I was asking the impossible, but he was still staring at the paper very confused.
i was a sub at a high school, a student asked "which is bigger, Beijing or China?
had to look around the room in case anyone wanted to answer that or say anything at all. no response.
I said 'Beijing'
Actually, technically speaking, gravity is crazy weird and we still aren't sure how it works. We expect a quantum theory, but no one's been able to come up with one yet.
Rhed0x ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:50:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student, I overheard a student ask the teacher "But isn't the USA and the UK the same thing? But they both start with the letter U?"
M0bysan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:02:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ran a sales competition with a long adventure weekend in Cape Town as the prize for the top reps. The best rep was a 23 year old Pakistani girl who absolutely killed the numbers.
She'd been brought up by religiously conservative parents and as a result she had led a sheltered life and was very naive.
She bought her very first swimming costume for the trip but was alarmed to discover that the costume wouldn't keep her body dry in the water.
She also genuinely thought that Table Mountain was made out of wood......
tree5eat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:33:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student was telling me about Antarctica's rule that people need to have their tonsils and appendix removed before visiting (I am not sure about this).
Another student added,
"do they put them back in when you leave? "
SuzLouA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:55:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. I can't say for certain if you're living on a base, but this definitely isn't true for visiting.
Source: my tonsil-having, appendix-owning self has visited Antarctica.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:36:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher story. But I was working at a small Seattle's Best cafe many years ago when this woman came in and ordered 1 hot latte and 1 iced latte. After I made them and set them on the counter for her, she looks at them, then looks at me and asks "which one is which?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:53:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my history teachers in high school used to say : there are no stupid questions, only stupid people
Not a teacher but an ex-University Tutor. There were 9 classes for a course I was tutoring, and to pass the course you had to attend at least 7 of the 9 (tutorials were like classrooms where I would lead discussion / exercises etc).
On my first tutorial I told them this (you must attend 7 out of 9 to meet the course requirements) where I had a student put his hand up and ask me "if I wag two then swap tutorials and wag another two and keep doing that, will i still pass?". He didn't realise I record attendance and upload it to the University server each week ...
Actually not the worst thing they could ask, when you consider verbs like sing/sang/sung, ran/run, dive/dove, etc. In linguistics it's called analogy, making assumptions about language patterns in new input based on patterns you've seen previously. It's the reason little kids say, "I runned" or "I seed" before learning irregular verb forms.
Saemika ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student seriously ask me if Aqua Man was the mayor of Atlanta.
Not a teacher, but my sister asked me during a Wailers concert if they were some kind of Bob Marley cover band. To her credit she realized her mistake as soon as she finished the question. Still funny though.
I am the student who answered the question. In grade 5 on the topic of World War Two someone asked "why did young people willingly go to war" my dumbass said "because they really like video games."
Not a teacher but in response to a discussion about all the stuff the us left on the moon she asked why doesn't it all fall off because there's no gravity up there.
Middle-school science teacher here. We were discussing sexual vs. asexual reproduction in organisms. Previously had discussed metamorphosis in insects.
A kid asked me if bugs go through sexual reproduction. I told her yes. Then dead-pan, 100% serious, she asked me: "I don't get it... what are moth balls, and why do people buy them?"
My other favorite: kid asked me why there are some diseases you "catch" and some diseases you're born with. I explained the difference between communicable vs. congenital disorders. She then asked me "so if a person with brown eyes gets with with a person with blue eyes, can they catch blue eyes?"
Not a teacher, but I attended an astronomy class in my senior year of high school, I didn't expect everyone in that class to be as... uneducated as they were.
We were talking about stars, the teacher explains that stars are billions of miles away from Earth, and one of the redneck kids raises his hand and asks "If stars are so far away, then what are them things in the sky at night?"
We were watching a documentary on glaciers (substitute that day) and how they're melting, and another one of the redneck kids raises his hand and asks "If it's hot enough that the ice is melting then how come they still have to wear jackets and stuff?"
Sarstan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:18:02 on February 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
In high school, a classmate had the great question of "how many universes contain stars?"
page987 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:03 on February 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher" disclaimer, but a kid sitting next to me asked how you say Walmart in French.
Also: "When was the War of 1812?"
The teacher asked him to think about what he just said, and he still didn't know.
She also probably thought it was hotter in the summer, because the sun rises earlier and sets later, so it turns into the moon less often and heats up the earth more.
If course you want to encourage it but I'm a lot of schools you can get in trouble for straying from standards. Not saying it's right but it's how it is some places
naturally curious is fine, but if your teacher next year wants to teach you about chemical bonds and I was too fucking disorganised to bother teaching you about the atom, we have a problem.
Knowledge in most subjects is cumulative. If you stray way the fuck off track then you fuck up your students'entire next year's schooling.
You wasted a lot of your classmates money. Doing it once is a prick move, and I'm rude because you demonstrated that you are extremely inconsiderate. You just tried to justify wasting other people's money because you didn't do it everyday. If you want to take a blowoff class, shut the fuck up and let the people that need the lectures they payed for receive them.
Edit: didn't see this was highschool. My money point is irrelevant. Students needing to have a lecture so they could learn is not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I checked, high school is free. And pull the stick out of your ass. Have you never been a teenager. They don't care about distracting the teacher if it means they don't have to work. And I'm sure most of the kids were happy he did that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The wood pencil has been used for writing by NASA and Soviet space programs from the start. It is simple with no moving parts, except for the sharpener. However, wood, graphite, and rubber (in the eraser) are all combustible and create dust. Graphite, in particular, burns to produce dust that conducts electricity.
The mechanical pencil has been used by NASA starting in the 1960s Gemini program. It can be made to be as wide as the width of astronauts' gloves, yet maintain its light weight. There are no wooden components which might catch fire and create dust. However, the pencil lead still creates graphite dust that conducts electricity.
Grease pencils on plastic slates were used by the Soviet space program as an early substitute for wood pencils. It is simple with no moving parts. The paper shroud is peeled back when needed. The disadvantage is that the paper wrapper has to be disposed of. Writing done with the grease pencil is also not as durable as ink on paper.
Ballpoint pens have been used by Soviet and then Russian space programs as a substitute for grease pencils as well as NASA and ESA. The pens are cheap, use paper (which is easily available), and writing done using pen is more permanent than that done with graphite pencils and grease pencils, which makes the ball point pen more suitable for log books and scientific note books. However, the ink is indelible, and depending on composition is subject to outgassing and temperature variations.
Felt-tip pens were used by NASA astronauts in the Apollo missions. However, wick-based instruments are designed around low viscosity, and thus operating temperature and pressure.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:01:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
um well AKSHULLY snopes owned by a LIBERAL WHO USES PENS so this is FAKE FACTS and we should all embrace alternative fact about glorious russia using pencils instead of stupid us science pens
Actually pencils were never used in space because the graphite dust could become airborne and become dangerous. The cosmonauts also used the space pen once it was finished. The famous graphic is not correct.
I hope you forgot the /s at the end of your sentence.
slicedpi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:10:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah because sending a bunch of graphite dust and wood shavings into a zero gravity environment for ready inhalation is such a great idea
ASDMEL ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:55:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way I heard it is that pencils are a big risk in zeroG because of floating graphite dust (messing w electronics + fire danger).
So russians also switched to ball-pens as soon as they were available.
American cosmonauts. Wasting all that money. The space pen was developed by fisher with his own money, no government funding, and sold at like 5 dollars a pen to nasa.
I dont think thats a stupid question honestly. If it was a college course or even a late high school course, sure. Other than that its a solid question.
bricarp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<3
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:36:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a legit physics based question. The context might be funny. Like say a family was camping and there was a flood and their tent was washed away. The family hikes for 4 days through wilderness, starvation and malnutrition. The mother of the family eventually dies but the father must soldier on with the children. He decides to eat the corpse for sustenance and feed it to the four weak children. Renewed the hike continues. While the highway is a mere 500 yards south, he mistakenly turns north, marching the family through 4 additional days of hardships including being stalked by wolves, loss of sanity, and two additional children dying from the conditions. Suddenly they come to a sheer cliff which must be scaled or they must turn around. They decide to climb the wall even though it is hundreds of yards tall and they have no ropes or equipment of any kind and their bodies are riddled with the marks of the death hike they have endured. At 50 feet up little Billy missteps and falls to his death. Its just dad and his middle child, his favorite, left. The father looks at his son with tears in his eyes and says, "Son, if we make it over this wall I know we are going to make it." He tries to muster up courage for his son but also for himself. His vain hope is the only thing pushing them forward. The son looks at his father, his fingers tightly gripping the face of the rock wall. He says in a timid voice, "dad?" "Yes, son." "How does ink come out of the pens?" The father gets a twisted look on his face as he pushes his son loose of the wall and watches him fall to his death, his small body dashed by the rocks at the bottom. "What a stupid question," he mutters as he continues, unburdened finally. His pace picks up and as he clears the top of the ledge he finds himself staring at a large male mountain lion, also starving with the ruggedness of the country. The mountain lion crouches before a lunge towards the man. He mumbles, "Seriously. The boy wanted to know how pens work at a time like this. The fool." <end scene>
I'm a teacher, but the dumbest question/comment I every heard was actually at Christmas dinner from a gal my brother was dating. Gary Locke (then-governor of Washington state, where I live) was shown on the news for something, but the volume was too low for anyone to hear the story. Note that she was 23 at the time and from a different city about 150 miles away from us, but still lived her whole life in the state just as my brother and I who were 22 and 19 respectively.
Her: "Why does he have so many body guards?"
Me: "Oh, that's because he's our governor."
Her: "My bad, I don't live in Seattle so I don't know these people."
Everyone in the room was stunned in silence with a WTF face for the next 5 minutes.
hpresent ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:20:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A third grader asked if global warming was real why does it still snow. No wait, that wasn't a third grader, it was Donald Trump.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:23:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It kind of doesn't anymore. Or at least not anywhere close to as much as even 5 years ago.
Jillish ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:57:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While watching a reenactment of the Salem Witch Trials, a student asked me "So wait, are those the real people or are they just actors?"
MrRonny6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biology classroom, sex unit. "...and semen is made up primarily of carbohydrates, or complex sugars." student raises hand "then why doesn't it taste sweet?" เฒ _เฒ
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:45:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah, but he never said only teachers can answer the question. He just pointed out that the majority of people sharing their stories here are in fact not teachers.
That's fine, right? Innocent question. Maybe this girl never learned. After being told it was molten rock:
"But yeah like what is it?"
Aaaaaaaaaaaa
Edit: clarification
Houseton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How was it answered? Molten rock under the surface of the earth? Very hot rock underground?
acmorgan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a tutoring center for a university. All the time people come in and don't know the first thing about the class they need help with. That'd be fine, if these people would outright say that, rather than let me get halfway into answering their direct question before they told me they had no clue what they were saying.
I had someone come in yesterday and in course of answering their question, (5/3)ร3 came up. They couldn't do it. When I showed them how the threes cancel, they asked me to show it to them a different way.
Was out to eat at a fancy steakhouse with a group of 12th grade students who had just placed in the top three at the National Science bowl. They were really smart kids. We order steaks and every one orders either medium rare or medium well. Get to the last kid and he asks, "Is there anything in between medium rare and medium well?"
Furt77 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:20:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Musical!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he mean February 29th?
xnoybis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA / co-teacher for a college course. One of my students plagiarized their final project. Then they plagiarized their make-up final project.
His question to me and before the student court (and subsequently banned from enrolling in any university within the state system for 7 years) was, "How is this plagiarism - I did all necessary independent research to find these articles?"
The student was a sophomore at a tier-1 research institute.
asked me why helicopters dont have ejection seats. I said, oh like you drop out of the bottom? He goes, no silly why would they do that ejection seats launch you up!
When I was in secondary school, a 14 year old girl in my class sincerely asked our teacher if there were signposts in the sky, so the aeroplanes would know where to go. He had to leave the class for a few minutes after telling her that was indeed not the case.
Talking about how much technology had changed, comparing a phone to the moon landing.
"Sir, how did they know where they were going without GPS? "
The moons a pretty large white object.
"But sir what if they flew at night?"
... What
Same kid also thought we found satellites in space, I double checked he wasn't calling the moon a satellite, till he responded, no sir the moon is a big space rock.
Year 9 ladies and gentlemen, fucking hell. (13yr old)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my little sister told me a story about a girl in her geography class once. The teacher was pointing to a world map, and telling the class how Australia moves a few centimeters to the right each year. Girl raises her hand and asks "What's gonna happen?" Teacher asks her what she means. Turns out, she wanted to know what was gonna happen once it went over the edge of the map...
Should be noted that this girl also thought Hitler was the big green guy in purple pants. This was the 7th grade.
Not a teacher but a girl in my class in eighth grade asked if Mt. Rushmore was naturally formed
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching a class at a private for-profit college that recently went belly-up because the government decided to stop guaranteeing their student loans:
The class met once a week, it was week 5: I was 1 hour into the lecture when a student in the back of the room gets up, walks to my podium and stands there, staring at me. Just stands there staring at me. I finally asked him what he needed and he said "I want to know what I missed last week."
im sorry, sounds like you had literally zero warning then. I hope you landed on your feet?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:44 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't there when they went kaflooey. I was there when the FBI raided corporate headquarters in Indianapolis. That was fun explaining to the students.
SnArL817 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, BUT....
I took ENG 110 at the local community college so I wouldn't have to pay university prices for core classes. We had an assignment to write an essay on a controversial topic and then read it out loud. Most students did theirs on abortion or gun control, but one of the jocks took a different direction. His essay was on the differences and similarities between cats and dogs.
Now, it was pretty clear from the way he read the essay in class that he didn't actually write it. He kept stumbling over the big words, like contrast. Did you know that cats and dogs both have four legs? We were not sure how this was controversial.
The professor took him aside and informed him that whoever wrote the paper for him ad ripped him off. I think he lost his football scholarship to the community college at the end of the semester.
Not a teacher. A girl in my psychology 101 class in college asked if dream catchers really worked. It took the professor a minute to actually understand the question.
I think he somehow got it mixed with the trachea, rather than the voice box, it was hilarious though xD Just shows how good secondary education is to be honest.
In a current events class, during the height of the Iraqi War a kid asked about the war and a girl raised her hand and asked if Iraq was in Michigan. It was an eighth grade class...
I taught at a culinary institute, hang on to your butts:
-When it says a whole egg, do they mean they shell too?
-How do I make toast?
-How do I know when water is boiling?
Cheers,
Dedli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher in this situation, but I was in a high school multi science class talking about how the moon came to be. A student asserted that the moon couldn't have possibly been created from matter that was on Earth, because the Earth doesn't glow like the moon.
Not a teacher and this happened in my brother's biology class when we were in high school. The class was going over evolution and a student asked if evolution was the reason why the monkeys in Planet of the Apes were able to talk.
Not a teacher but a class mate of mine once asked our English teacher this..
"I know one can be overwhelmed and one can be underwhelmed, but... can one simply be whelmed?"
I was teaching an eighth grade science class at a charter school big into Project Based Learning. I had come in as a permanent sub and had no curriculum and no formal education training.
We got through the standards early, so for the final project, I assigned an open ended year-end project with pretty basic objectives: explore something you're interested in and learn something about it.
I announced the project with a sort of pow wow lecture about how amazing the world was and how much wonder there was to dig into. Something about how there are miracles all around us just waiting to be uncovered, so just look into one of them and report back on it. The grade would just be dependent on how curious they got and if they learned anything (basically just "actually did something=A," "half assed it=C").
Most of the kids got excited by the project and started writing down ideas for it.
One kid, clearly unimpressed, just said "so Mister, when's this due?"
Not really a stupid question, but my gf is a teacher, she came home yesterday and said one of the little kids asked her "Miss, what is oral sex?".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a professor myself but one time my physics professor was explaining whatever physics thing and he said "so in your calculators, add 'x' meters plus 'y' meters. And someone asked how do you input meters into the calculator.
gdunlap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in a first year Calculus class (where most of us were struggling) a student asked the professor how he got to the next step in a problem. he said he added. she looked confused and he pointed to the number on the left of the symbol and the number on the right and then informed her the symbol was a + sign and that meant add. she dropped the class.
Two years into teaching the economics class and right before the students are about to sit their final exams to leave school a student puts their hand up asks where exactly is the world economy.
(This happened in Australia) I'm not a teacher but a student. A few years ago in 9th grade our teacher was explaining the rate of gravitational pull for the earth or something similar. A girl who isn't really known for her brains said "If we're on the bottom of the earth [down under] then how come we're not just upside-down and we don't know it?" Kill me please.
There's an architect in Portugal from the 80's whose name is Tomรกs Taveira (or Sir Tomรกs Taveira, because this guy is a legendary savage). He had a video camera in his office, and he would often receive "visits" from his customer's wives (among other women), when they needed "help" for their construction projects to be approved by the city hall. And basically he would f*ck them in the ass, film it and show it to all his friends.
But this guy wasn't only an architect, he was also an architecture teacher at the university. And this one time he got a "visit" from a girl who attended his classes. Basically she sucked (no pun intended) at architecture and was going to fail the class and was looking for some way not to fail it. And he said: "well, you can start by bending over on that couch and pull your pants down". And he proceeds to f*ck her in the ass.
Immediately the girl says, in a crying voice: "it's hurting"
To which he replies: "Hurts, doesn't it? You should have studied!"; and proceeds.
And that was the moment one of the most popular Portuguese sayings was born. Every time someone complains about anything, people just reply "You should've studied."
And, the videos are all on the internet. Just google for "Tomรกs Taveira videos".
In my history class, we were watching Forrest Gump during the last class, because why not. Towards the end of the sequence in which Gump is running across the entire country, and one student raised her hand and asks: "is this a true story?"
I know I'm a little late but oh well. I taught high school science at a corrections facility for at risk youth. My favorite question came after I showed my students a video of pressure building up inside of a trash can when you add liquid nitrogen and 1500 ping pong balls. One of my students raised his hand and asked "You think that would work with bullets?" I looked at him for a couple seconds and then moved on with my lesson.
I went to a really dumb school in the south. In our class, we had tables, and it was two people to a table. The teacher was giving us a lecture about friction cause that's what you learn about in 9th grade. Anyway, the teacher says that when objects make a lot of friction, the cause heat. I immediately see a hand shoot up to my left a couple tables down. "So, if friction causes heat, is that why pussies get hot when you have sex?". The teacher was a cool guy, so he played it deadpan and gave a real response back to the kid but all I can remember is how ridiculous the question was. I think the guy was just trying to be funny but still...
My Health and Sciences teacher in high school once told us about a student she had. It was around the time they're talking reproduction, and the topic today was male reproduction. Our teacher was talking about semen, and its makeup. Since semen contains some fructose, one of the girls pipes up, "But Mrs. T., why doesn't it taste sweet?"
Shocked silence followed by laughter from everyone.
mellnoel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in highschool/college credit biology class. Teacher explaining the concept of early humans originating in Africa ('eve' being the oldest traceable modern human ancestor). Very loud, little white girl "Wait so Adam and Eve were black?!" She also was confused as to how the first human had monkey parents.
He was traveling with his owner from their home state to other states. Some of those other states were slaves so he argued that once he stepped foot in there he should've technically been freed. There is more too it but that's me paraphrasing a 10th grade social studies class
Not a school teacher but a scuba instructor. I was taking a class out to on a qualification dive in a light drizzle. A student pointed at the scuba gear and asked "is it ok if this stuff gets wet"
svalis47 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but still. In 6th grade, a girl from my class thought that the vagina was the belly button. We tried to convince her that it wasn't so, but she didn't buy it. We then started to make fun of her, and she asked the teacher what the truth was.
In my senior year of high school I had a friend who insisted the sun was the largest star in the galaxy, because when you look up at the sky, the sun was much bigger than the other stars you see at night.
One of my students inquiry questions was "do chickens do live births?" he said chickens' eggs obviously didn't produce babies... I told him to carry on with his research.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a teacher now, but the dumbest answer i have ever heard came from when I was in college
It was a polisci class about legal systems and we were talking about american courts vs european courts. It was an open secret that the entire basketball team took polisci classes with this particular professor because if they showed up and turned everything in, they got a C- basically no questions asked (with the potential for a b or a if they earn it).
Professor asked one of the basketball players about courts in Latvia, because the guy is from there (he is a native english speaker), and the kid says "yeah we have court in Latvia."
As if that wasnt bad enough, about a month later we were talking about independece movements and how nation states get formed. Well, he asked a different basketball player to go over the way a a state gets formed. The kid thinks he means each state of the united states apparently, because he went into like a 3 minute nonstop mouth dump about the continental congress and how the new state would have to go to philadelphia and vote and how they have to start out as a colony, etc etc. Mercifully the professor stopped him and said, "okay what about countries?" and the kid said, "oh, I dont know about those."
Not a teacher but one night some friends and I were hanging out with some people we had just met. I was studying in England and whilst making small talk I mentioned my grandma had been stationed in York. One girl looked really confused for a bit, then a couple minutes later exclaimed "WAIT the World Wars actually happened?!" Turns out she thought they were made up as part of recent English legend, Hitler being the pantomime bad guy (slight exaggeration). She also struggled to point to anywhere but England on a map. She was 17 and completely of sound mind. I believe she graduated from secondary school the next year. I also should mention there is a GIANT memorial to the wars in the centre of her town.
Not even a little bit. It was actually quite baffling for her friends too.
iberg226 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was helping coach football and doing summer conditioning practices. The head coach explained a mirror drill (running side to side and mirroring a players moves like a defender would) and asked if there were any questions, adding that there is no stupid question. Then a freshman asked if he could take his shoes off for the drill. Coach retracted his statement and told him that was a stupid question.
not a teacher, but a girl in my class had some interesting questions for our history teacher:
- Was Jesus born before or after the industrial revolution?
- Our teacher was telling us that after the earth cooled down, plants started to grow, but there were no trees yet. her question was 'but how did they make paper then?'
She also stated at one time to have no idea how the gears in a bike worked. (she could change gears but had no idea how it mechanically worked) It seemed like magic to her.
She was quite good at math though so she had that going for her.
In my high school American history class one day we were covering the JFK assassination, and our teacher brought up the "magic bullet" theory. A girl raised her hand and asked, very seriously "what's the difference between a regular bullet and a magic bullet?" This was 11th grade.
XchaoX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but in high-school we had a holocaust survivor come to our school and talk about what it was like in the concentration camps. Some of the questions that were asked have stuck with me to this day, and at the time made me feel embarrassed. One such question was "What did you do with your free time?" Luckily he took it in stride and poked a little fun saying "Oh, we would go down the street and get iced cream."
When I took driver's ed, this one girl asked if blind people could drive. She thought they could hear where the road and other cars were. The teacher looked her straight in the eye and said, "Miss ____, I think you are a little bit 'special.'"
I have a story about the most stupid answer ever given to a question.
Small Christian High School, doing sex ed. Afterward this kid named Tommy walks in to science class, taught by an elder of the church. The elder asks Tommy what he learned in sex ed: chuckles like Beavis "Wear a condom."
The teacher proceeds to yell at him for about 10 minutes, then asks him again "What did you learn, Tommy?"
Not a teacher, but while attending a Christian school our teacher was going over the Bible story of Cain and Abel. The teacher concluded the story with,"...Then Cain killed Abel." One fellow student took a moment, then with eager anticipation blurted, "Did he die?" No one, not even the teacher was able to hold in at least a little laughter.
beth_lw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a 7th grade science teacher pregnant with twins, a young boy asked if that meant I'd had sex twice.
Klokwurk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching high school geometry, and we were doing a unit test for formal logic. There was a statement on the test that was essentially, "if it is January, then it is winter in (our city, usa)."
I had a student call me over during the test and say, "Mr. Klokwurk, how an I supposed to know this?" after a brief conversation he followed this up with, "I don't even know all the months".
The next day while going over the test I had students write down on the back of the test their best guess of all the months in order. After collecting the tests I saw that only about 10% of the class got it all right. There were months missing, out of order, not to even mention spelling. These were 9th and 10th grade students.
Not a teacher, but one of my classmates asked, "Tio, how do you say uncle?" in Spanish class. (We called our teacher Tio because he was such a great guy. Everyone loved him.)
I'm not a teacher, but a few months back, in the 12th grade, a girl in my class, who is genuinely dumb, asked my history teacher in which hospital was Jesus born.
iispablo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher of English in Chile. While I was teaching to double the last consonant in monosyllabic verbs (e.g. hit - hitting), one of the students raised his hand and said they didn't understand.
I tried to explain again and mid sentence, the student goes: "But, sir, what is a consonant?"
i'd use something Doug Walker said when he was doing "Ask That Guy" (i don't really watch his videos anymore, but there is some good stuff there): "there is no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it"
Tinsa223 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My health professor told us a great story about this:
He was talking about quitting smoking, and mentioned that quitting cold turkey is one of the most effective methods.
A girl raised her hand and asked, "How does eating cold turkey help you quit smoking?"
This was a college health class, and she was in her mid 20s.
Not a teacher but I was once helping my friend's sister with her online US history class. She was a freshman in college. One question had to do with the Civil War and she asked us "who did we fight in the civil war"? We convinced her it was France.
Not a teacher, but this is a favorite story my Spanish teacher used to tell classes in middle school:
It was one of the last classes of the year, and they had nearly completed the course. The teacher asked something along the lines: "Well, now that we're at the end, do any of you have any questions about me specifically?"
One kid in the back, who was always slacking off, pipes up and says, "Hey, does your wife speak Mexican too?"
I was in English class in 8th grade and the teacher asked everyone to go to the shelf and grab a thesaurus. A student quickly responded, "I thought a thesaurus was a dinosaur."
At the age of 16, I explained to one of my female peers that breasts were for producing milk.
Didn't believe me for a good 15minutes.
Milk comes from cows udders, but humans don't have udders...
but they do... they're just in a different place and called breasts.
A 16 year old in a science class asked me who invented seeds. Had to stop myself from laughing after I realised she was being serious.
foxachol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is buried but it's my favorite. I teach ancient civilizations from Australopithecus to the fall of Rome to 6th graders. At the end of the year, a girl looks like she's just had an epiphany.
"Was there, like, grass back then? Wait. Did it snow back then?" Terror in her eyes. "How did they survive?!"
We had learned about the ice age in September...
sebf919 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but i fellow student once asked "Why don't humans have a nugget body part like chickens?" thinking the chicken nugget was a body part, like a chicken breast.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread has convinced me there truly are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of people lacking enough information to frame a question *effectively.
They may lack the intelligence to understand the information needed, they may lack the education, the skill, but it takes balls to put yourself out there, and I imagine quite a few of these people knew they would be mocked but wanted to learn anyway.
Not a teacher, but one day our 5th grade teacher went up to the map of America and switched it out with a map of the world. Then a boy asks, "Wait, what? Is that what the world looks like?!". He had never seen a map that wasn't the U.S. and went on to explain how he thought the pyramids and Egypt were in Idaho or some other state.
Do twins ever get confused and forget which one they are?
HawkProf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach calculus at a university. After several weeks of discussing infinity a student raised her hand and asked why that 8 was lying on its side. I kept a straight face but damn.
Substitute teacher here. Had a 17 year old girl ask me if 10 x 10 was 100,000 or 1,000,000. I didn't have to respond, as the rest of the class proceeded to mercilessly mock her.
Okay, this wasn't the stupidest but it was definitely the most awkward. A few years ago a 12 year old student is quietly sitting, reading a magazine, when she looks up and says "teacher...what's sex trafficking? I mean, I understand the sex part...but trafficking?"
Not making this up. In high school Ethics class, which had some sex ed in it (I went to a catholic school) a girl asked about semen "Can I get pregnant if I, like, get it on my thigh?" It was beautiful.
She dropped out about 6 months later, then showed up to senior prom pregnant. The dad was the guy who sat in front of her in that class. I kid you not.
Not a teacher, but a classmate once asked (in grade 10 history) how Martin Luther King became a king if black people were oppressed in America during his time.
Reverse situation, I'm a student but I've had two separate uni profs with the most stupid beliefs/questions.
One was a woman who believed the countries floated on the sea until she was nearly 20.
The other only discovered birds have bones a year ago. He is over 40.
One owns a science department or something in a pretty well know University, the other was a parent before she confessed to believing all land was mobile.
I'll never understand physicists.
I asked my teacher how to spell a word, I'm horrible at spelling. Predictably, she told me to look it up in the dictionary. I spent a solid fifteen minutes trying to find the word before asking her for help again. When she asked me if I'd looked under the letter it started with I said yes, and turned to the E's. She gave me the most incredulous are-you-serious look before telling me it started with an A. The word was "any."
Not a teacher but in 7th grade during a sex-ed unit the teacher had a box that we could put questions in if we had any and she would answer them. One was "can I get pregnant from a cucumber?" But the best one was where a student asked what a boner was so the teacher's aid saw the teacher got uncomfortable so he replied "Dude it's when your dick fills up with blood and falls off" guess it freaked out the kid because the following week we were learning about reproduction in whales and the kid started freaking out that he had a boner and was hysterical thinking his Willy was just going to fall off. Don't know what was funnier, the fact he got hot and bothered by whale sounds or the fact he actually believed the teacher's aid.
One of my 3rd graders raised his hand and waited patiently for me to call on him to ask, "why don't I feel it when I fart?" This was during a science lesson about the life cycle of frogs, mind you.
yschmied ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
History class, talking about cattle
classmate "Wait, meat comes from cows?"
surprised teacher "Yes. Where did you think it came from?"
classmate "I just thought it was there, I never really thought about it"
Tosf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a girl in my economics class asked my professor "if we can clone animals, why can't we clone money when the economy is bad"
my professor looked at her, asked the rest of the class "did we all hear that?"
Megamoss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S/O teaches food technology among other things. Pupil hadn't followed a recipe properly and wasn't happy with the result and, in all seriousness, asked:
"Miss, how do I unbake this cake?"
I think my brain shut down for a few moments and had to reboot itself when she told me about that one. God knows how she goes through stuff like that on a daily basis.
I was in a psych class on the biological roots of human behavior and the teacher talked about the evolutionary theories of Robert Trivers and how the mom always knows that the kid is her's but the dad doesn't, this tied into parental investment and how men are more likely to invest less than women on children.
A guy, at least 19, in the front row asked โHow do women ALWAYS know ?"
Okay so this was from another science teacher but I loved it.
After watching live feed from the International space station; "What state is it in? I want to visit"
-__-
Lo22gan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just last year we had an English teacher that was pregnant. A student (who is our valedictorian) is book smart but has 0 common sense. She started talking about how when she grew up she wanted to have a boy and a girl. This leads her to ask what gender the teacher's baby will be. The teacher just found out she was pregnant a couple weeks ago so she of course said she didn't know what it would be. This led to the student saying
"Wait, you don't get to choose if it's a boy or a girl?"
The whole class including the teacher was in shock.
I teach nursing and just this week we were discussing catheters. One student asked if it's easier to put one in a man or a woman. Before I could answer a student responded, "duh, obviously the woman is easier because look at how much bigger the vagina is compared to a man's pee hole." The worst part of this, the student is pregnant.
Teaching students about when the Egyptians enslaved the Jews in World History when one student asks "how the Jews could have been slaves, because Jews aren't black." The entire class full of 15-ish year olds was stunned silent at the absolute stupidity of the question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here, but this one's worth it. In Spanish class in high school we were talking about Native Mexican tribes taking slaves from conquered tribes, a 17 year old girl raised her hand and asked "I thought slaves were black?"
I'm not a teacher, but there was a girl in my class in high school who was surprised that bones could be found buried in the earth because she thought they would have been eaten by termites. When we pointed out that termites eat wood she looked confused and said "yeah, but bones are made of wood." She was 18.
I used to teach pharmacy technicians about medications for specialty conditions (cancer, auto-immune disorders, etc). I was teaching about HIV and got some questions about why the medications don't always work 100% of the time. A valid question. One woman raised her hand and said, very seriously: Well bleach kills everything. Why can't they just have people with HIV drink bleach, but take out the part of bleach that makes it bad to drink?
Im not a teacher, but a kid in my 8th grade class once freaked out because the teacher said santa wasn't real. At first I thought it was a joke but he spend like 20 mins asking the teacher different questions about santa trying to make sure the teacher was telling the truth. He sat in silence for the rest of the class with tears in his eyes.
...TIL a gherkin is a pickle. I thought it was an article of clothing.
kvyoung ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Undergraduate human physiology class, discussing female hormonal cycle. After explaining that the drop in progestin causes the endometrial lining to slough off, student raises his hand and asks, "what do you mean slough off?" [Me]"Well, I mean that the inner layer of tissue falls away." [Him] "But if that happened, where would it go?"
kam_sims ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question but I had this conversation with a 14 year old...
Kid: I'm thinking of making DMT (a hallucinogenic drug) and selling it to my friends. I read about it online and it doesn't look that hard.
Me: That sounds risky considering, ya know, you're not exactly a chemist and people could die.
Kid: I guess that's true. Maybe I'll wait until I take grade 11 chemistry.
Me: defeated Sure, let's go with that.
JT_5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened a few years ago when I was in highschool. I was in sophomore English one day and we were learning some new vocabulary. The word svelte comes up. (Slender, elegant, curvy) Teach goes on to give an example: Marilyn Monroe who wore a size 14. Naturally everyone in the class knows that he is referring to dress size, except my friend, who raises his hand and says "Wait, size 14 shoe!?"... teacher writes quote on the board and it stayed there until I graduated.
RG450 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was standing next to a sign that said "English Department."
Student walks up to me and asks, "Is this the mathematics department?"
One girl in my choir class could not understand that a hippo has legs. She thought they were just huge floating logs with a face. I guess like a manatee, but when I asked if that's what she meant she said they were the same animal. She would not believe that they walked on land sometimes until we had our choir teacher look up pictures on his computer. Even then I don't think she fully understood.
I'm a riding instructor, and I once had a young man ask me if he really needed to groom and ride the horse to pass into the next level. He hated getting dirty and didn't want to do any work, but threw a fit when I didn't pass him into the next riding level. His mother then informed me that he didn't need to actually ride because he knew all the information in his head. He had also asked me why we didn't tie up the male horses "stuff" to keep from distracting everyone...
Doesn't the earth have seven suns? You know one for each day?
Is there grass on the sun?
What is the capital of Chicago?
Also this year I had a parent yell at me for brainwashing his kid by teaching the earth wasn't flat. I thought he was kidding then he preceded to try and show me a bunch of YouTube videos that would prove the earth was flat and saying I was ignorant because I refused to watch them.
I grew up in Mexico (Puebla, near Mexico City) and I'm not a teacher, but when I was a student in high school we had a group of high school teachers from the US come to visit. (I want to say from Texas, but I don't quite remember). They came into our English class, already in Mexico, and proceeded to ask us questions like:
Are there clouds in Mexico? (Answer: yes. There's a few outside right now.)
Do you guys ride burros? I didn't see any on the street, but you must have a special time/place when you can ride them? (Answer: no burros anywhere around here, maybe at some farm. Let's take my BMW or Audi that's parked right outside to go check it out.) (I should clarify that I went to a private school, so lots of rich kids, but if they came into the school they would have seen the ridiculous amount of expensive cars parked right outside.)
In the US we have this thing called (slowly) "A MOVIE THEATRE". It's where people can go into a dark room and watch a film on a big screen. What do you guys do for fun? (Answer: movies? We've never heard of such a thing! That sounds like a magic spell. All we do is nap by some cactus and dance around our sombreros.) (this was a true statement someone made, at this point we were tired of their ignorance so we fucked with them a bit.)
corrieh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just made my day. Thank you for this hilarious gem!
I had a girl in my AP European history class in high school show genuine concern and outrage over the atrocities committed by Adolf Hitler during a section on WW2. She asked why no one has stopped him yet.
I'm not a teacher, but I have the dumbest question I have ever heard.
Assignment: You have the choice to build your dream PC with a $7500 budget or a PC on a budget with $1000.
Student: "I'm sorry Mr. PC Teacher I don't have any money to spend on this assignment. Am I going to fail because I'm poor? I just don't understand how you expect us to do this. RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE"
Mr. PC Teacher: "Your using fake money as stated on the handout."
engnr16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back during my undergrad I was a part of a program that went out to the elementary schools and did chemistry demonstrations and discussions. The experiment in particular was if you mix a water and rubbing alcohol together, dip in a $10 bill and then light it on fire, it will just burn until the rubbing alcohol is gone and the bill is left unscathed. I asked the class what did they think happened, and after I got the correct answer we discussed it and I thought that was that. One girl proceeded to raise her hand and tell me that I was wrong and that it wasn't the water that protected the money, it was Jesus Christ because she prayed to him during the demonstration for him to protect the dollar just like she prays with her grandma everyday.
Wow. The same guy who said give to Caesar what is caesar's, would protect a burning $10 bill? I think she needs more than Jesus' help
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught English in China for a while. The question I will remember forever is: "ไฝ ไปฌๆ้ปไบบ?" Or "Do you have black people [in Canada]?"
I said of course we do, and he looked amazed. He just couldn't believe that. I asked him if there were black people in China. He immediately said no. He was in grade 7.
Although, it is important to remember that in China the population is incredibly low and in a 'small town' they basically never have seen a foreigner.
shazi- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you teach? ๆฐๅนดๅฟซไน๏ผ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Macheng, Hubei. They told me it was a village and when I arrived it was a city of 1.2 million people. And happy new year to you too! :D
tehWoody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother is a teacher in the UK and was asked by a 15 year old, "if we leave the EU, do we still get to have pizza?"
ElEhZed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is the land and which is the water?
(Grade 9 student, so about 14 or 15, looking at a normally-coloured world map)
It took me a few minutes to wrap my head around why she would think Earth was not a planet, but it took the rest of her high school career to overcome that.
Not a teacher myself, but my personal favorite happened in my senior year of high school during Physics class.
A few weeks prior, we had a student transfer to our school from Montana. Or maybe it was Ohio, I'm not entirely sure, but either way it didn't matter. You see, though she transferred from elsewhere in America, she was born and raised in Scotland and boy could you tell. She was like a tiny blonde Craig Ferguson, witty and sharp, charismatic as can be. Not a dumb girl, by any means.
Anyway, in class we had started to discuss friction, and the relevant formulae to calculate it. We're halfway through a problem calculating the static friction between a slope and the box upon it, and she raises her hand to ask her question.
"Mr. Johnson, what's a friction?"
There was about four seconds of crystalline silence, punctuated by the sound of crackling vertebrae as every single head turned toward her seat. She had enough time to squeak out a sheepish "Wot?" before all thirty kids and the teacher himself fell the fuck apart laughing. We had people walking down the hallway poke their heads in asking us if we were okay. Funniest fuckin thing I've ever witnessed.
Teach history, and a student once asked something to the effect of "Was the reason Native Americans weren't enslaved as much as Africans because they could run faster and not get caught?"
I teach graphic design at a University so in my case I would say anything that can be answered by Google in under 5 minutes. One of the keys to education is learning how to learn. I find that helping students fix the small mistakes they make through independent investigation is more effective than simply telling them what to do. Teach them to fish and you feed them for a lifetime...
Teaching a constitutional law class discussing Jerry Fawell v. Larry Flint (Hustler Magazine) and 1st amendment rights. To help the college students understand the depravity of Hustler (this was the 80s) compared to say, Playboy, I mentioned that one issue of Hustler actually had a "scratch & sniff" picture. Girl asked... "so what was it supposed to smell like?" Class over.
UneAmi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but something I over heard from two 15 years old Korean students in Canada. "Where is Afghanista, maybe somewhere in Africa?" she looks up and "it is in Middle East" where the fuck is Middle East ?! This was in 2007.
Years ago in my high school chemistry class (and this was in the honors program at a highly ranked school), I asked my chemistry teacher if we had to experiment with all of the lab samples. His warm, curious, and friendly eyes disappeared into a vaping sea of ungodly red fumes, he looked like a man possessed...or just an angry man constipated. So he screamed at me: "How stupid can you be! Everyone, listen to what he just asked! This is the stupidest question I've ever heard! Read the assignment! Look at it! Read right here! What does it say! You must do all of it! All of it! Stupid question!" Imagine this in a British accent (he was from England) and now my shame is as deep as the earth's core. Me, feeling like a dumb and embarrassed dunce, looked at the sheet and realized I missed the part at the bottom in bold and italics with several exclamation marks saying we must experiment with all of the samples. Yeah, I did not do well on that lab report lol. On the plus side, I ended up getting a B in his class plus his congrats which was especially nice since I got a 54% F on the final exam lol (highest score was a 66% D).
In 8th grade sex ed, a girl asked if a guy can pee and ejaculate at the same time. I don't think that was a stupid question on her part, but it definitely brings back memories. Our sex ed class was a complete joke too, I didn't learn anything about sex from it at all, all I learned was to use deodorant because my armpits were about to get stinky like Satan's asshole.
bravo009 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can finally contribute to one of these.
17 year old me with my classmates watching a video of a woman giving birth in Psychology class
One of my classmates asks: "Excuse me teacher, I heard that if a pregnant woman eats a watermelon, her baby will be born with a watermelon shaped head. Is this true".
"Can i use the bathroom?" - every college professor ( probably)
squat251 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"why is it called 'upside down?'"
_Search_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 7 student: "I know you have to take a spaceship to get to the moon, but can you walk back?"
Elizb04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Theae aren't really questions, but I teach public speaking at a Community College. The class is called, "Introduction to Public Speaking." You have no idea how many people are horrified to find they will have to speak in public. I've also learned (just this past semester) that, "Fatal accidents are occasionally deadly," and "Dublin, Ireland is in Germany and they speak Swiss." There are waaaaay too many of these to count.
I had explained I drank soya milk instead of cows milk. A 16 year old asked me "What does a soya animal look like?"
Cire101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In music class I frequently will show videos of ensembles playing the pieces we're talking about. We learned about Vivaldi and the Four Seasons and I showed a video of Itzhak Perlman playing Spring. The kids asked if that was Vivaldi himself, I almost couldn't stop myself from laughing.
One kid out Bach was from America. He was born almost 100 years before America was a country. Like, come on, his name even sounds German.
These are 5-6 graders but I'd expect them to know recording technology wasn't around in the 1600s.
Not a teacher. In my 8th grade English class we were reading the play version of "Diary of Anne Frank." I don't remember how the discussion got around to this, but it was a perfectly relevant comment. Our teacher said "Right, because Jesus was Jewish." A very conservative Southern Baptist girl then yells, "What? Jesus was Jewish??" I turned to her and said, "what do you think 'King of the Jews' means?" The poor girl looked her foundation had just crumbled.
Not a teacher, but heard of a girl in a film studies class, when told by the group (who were my friends, who told me about this) that they want to make a zombie film, didn't know what a zombie was.
They first thought she was joking and laughed as it was apparently perfect comedic timing, but it slowly became clear she literally had no idea what a zombie was.
"Why is there a hole in Florida?" (Refer to a map to get this...)
Why would I eat a squirrel? They aren't made of meat. (Thought cows are made of actual steaks and hamburgers)
Somewhat related. Met a girl from San Francisco who refused to believe that fireflies are a real thing. She thought they were some literary invention like elves.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my history class asked what the Missouri Compromise was, but she pronounced it like "Missouri Com-Promise" instead. My best friend in the class lost his shit and still jokes about it today.
Ree81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An 18 y/o once asked if rockets 'pierce the sky'... as in "makes a hole" in the sky.
We were in 8th grade sex education class when the son of a pig farmer asked, "Can a person get a pig pregnant?" We were certain we knew what he was doing in the barn. He was called "John the pig fucker" the rest of the year.
I was teaching 8th graders in Mississippi how to fill out forms one day. The form asked for Height in Feet and Inches. One girl raised her hand and asked me, "Why they wanna know how big my feet is?" All I could do not to laugh.
If she really said "how big my feet is" it makes it so much better
t4bbris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 8th grade our sex ed class one of my classmates asked with the straightest face "If a guy pees in a girl's mouth, can she get pregnant?"
NURSING student asked about spaying her dog: "do they just like, sew up the hole?"
U_Bahn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually a student at the time, but I witnessed possibly the dumbest question a student ever asked a professor. Taking a history class in college on colonial America and we were discussing the slave trade. Professor was discussing how awful slave ships were and how sailors tried to avoid working on them because they were filthy and dangerous. Extremely stereotypical sorority girl in the class raises her hand and asks why they just didn't cut a hole in the bottom of the ship to make it easier to clean the decks. Professor pauses for a second and then says, well the ships would sink if they did that. Sorority girl says, oh okay and writes something in her notes while the rest of the class just stares at her.
Not a teacher, but when someone ask "Is this going to be on the test?" I want to kick them in the head. Oh it's not on the test? I won't learn it then. It might be worth becoming a teacher so I can kick kids like that out of my class.
Yes I understand that fish don't have a uterine tract, and that that makes shedding the uterine lining impossible, however I assumed that it was a child asking the question, who may not be familiar with the difference between mammalian and chordata anatomy. So no, I'm not being sarcastic, I'm asking you why it's a stupid question.
mrssac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea, that's another interesting question that I would love to hear the answer from someone who knows significantly more than I do about fish
Work in NYC (4th grade 10 year olds) went to the Natural Museum of Art with our own tour guide. Class sits down in front of a painting of a woman with apples. Child asks "Did people eat food back then?" Tour guide looks at me like is this kid pulling my leg. I give her the look like "no that's a serious question" and the tour guide answers. Mind you this child's parent was a chaperone....I can only imagine how proud she felt.
Arkenzie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question but we were talking about science and how much PSI a basketball contained 8lbs of pressure. Dead ass serious this girl turned around and said, "wow they're throwing heavy bowling balls around!"
Va1kyria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ems/medic instructor we were practicing birthing a child with fake pelvis and baby when a student asked "what do you do if you drop the baby?" Just looked him in the eye and said "You pick it up" then class erupted into laughter.
wynnray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College chemistry prof here: I used to say that there were no stupid questions until a student walked in to chem lab and asked "what are we doing today?" showed lack of required preparation.
In 6th grade I asked a teacher if Hitler was a real person. Up until a week prior I had never heard his name or of the holocaust and was skeptical that something that evil could be real. He thought I was just being an asshole.
Ootman23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my friend's human geography class they were discussing language. The teacher asked what the official language of the United States is (trick question by the way; the U.S. doesn't have an official language). One girl thought it was Mandarin.
I was teaching a World Civilizations II course to Freshmen in college. During a discussion on European colonization in the 15-16th centuries, specifically the Columbian Exchange, a student smugly asked me this question: "Wait, if Columbus wasn't American, then how did he know he had discovered America?" Needless to say I was stumped.
Side note: in the same class, on a midterm examination, one of my students wrote an entire essay about Europeans 'exploding' all around the world. Exploding here, exploding there, exploding all over the place. "Columbus went west and exploded." I called the student into my office. Explored. They didn't know how to spell the word 'explored.'
In grade 9 science the teacher asked us to draw a picture of the sun and this girl asked how.
nik5016 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why does it take longer for a rocket to get to the moon than a plane to get to China when rockets are faster?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the age of the child that's a pretty smart and valid question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, I was a young student in middle school when I came up with this gem...in front of the entire school during an assembly. Some sort of local luminary was giving a speech lauding the announcement that a major car manufacturer would be opening a new factory in our hometown, employing thousands of people. This official then asked the audience if anybody knew why they chose our area. I promptly raised my hand and said it was because we had a lot of car dealerships.
Why? What was I thinking? Thirty years later I still want to crawl into a hole and die.
clearing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that bad. No reason to be kicking yourself for 30 years.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but one time in class my environmental science teacher showed a picture of a venus fly trap and asked the class what it was. I'm positive at least 90% of us knew what it was, but no one felt like participating. So she called on this ratchet ass Mediterranean girl who was always talking to her friends behind me and this bitch said "I don't know, cactus?" This was two years ago. We were seniors in highschool.
Hailsp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 12th grade English class while discussing a novel, the "token blond girl" throws her hand up and randomly asks the teacher "what are hemorrhoids"
There was no mention of them anywhere in the book, it was hilarious.
As a class we were discussing World War 2 and the Nazis. Given that I teach the German language, this isn't a topic that we can or should avoid. We watched a few short films and then held a class discussion.
During the discussion one of my students had a puzzled look on his face and raised his hand. "Wait," he said quizzically, "Hitler was German?! I thought he was British!"
The other kids started laughing and I know I probably gave him a dismayed look. I didn't even have the heart to correct him that Hitler was Austrian.
For reference, this was a high school student who had previously taken (and passed) world history.
Not a teacher, but in 8th grade during a sex ed class one of my classmates asked, "Can your penis fall off if you have butt sex? Like, because of the doodoo." He couldn't even say it right from all the laughing him and the class were having.
I had a kid who thought the world was flat. Like legit flat as a pancake. Needless to say we discussed basic physics that day. Next came vaccines and also what climate change really was. I should say this was a senior level class....
Not a teacher but I asked one of my teachers this years ago.
He said it was a question he got earlier that day when a kid asked "when did people start seeing in color?" The teacher didn't understand so he asked the kid to elaborate.
The kid thought since movies and tv were in black and white that that's what the people all saw in the real world. And he thought eventually we developed the ability to see color...
Dumbass 17-year-old in high school, during a discussion of mammory glands, asked the biology teacher, "So, when there's like a really fat guy that has boobs, do his boobs have milk?"
Teacher looked at him like it was the dumbest thing he's ever heard. "No."
Obligatory Not a teacher, but a girl in my high school geography class asked which state the Great Wall of China was in.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a school that caters to both Protestant and catholic children in Northern Ireland. We had a few cross community outreach classes, where other schools (which weren't mixed religion) would send students. They would learn to hopefully accept all faiths. (Which was crazy to me, as religion played little part in the day to day lives of my friends and I).
Skip to one of these 'outreach' classes. We're all sat reading and a girl from a catholic grammar school turns to a girl from a Protestant high school and asks 'So, is your Jesus the same Jesus as my Jesus?'
The teacher had to leave the room.
Yeah, in my school we were taking down main religions in Northern Ireland, I'm pretty sure one guy wrote Christian and Protestant as different points
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am originally from the south of Ireland. I had no idea they were different until I got called names in the street. I was damn ignorant to all the nonsense going on around me.
bodhemon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was a teacher's assistant in a middle school. Some kids were walking down the hall in front of her quoting Beavis and Butthead and she asked them, "Are you threatening me?" Their jaws hit the floor.
I was an art teacher for six year olds. We were on the topic of outer space and one of them asked me "so what is the real name for Uranus?". I had to break it down for her, the poor thing.
Gsteel11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not school, but at work there was a guy who didn't know time zones existed. It was like he had never even considered the idea.
I'm not a teacher, but when I was a freshman in high school I asked my history teacher, "why didn't the romans and Greeks ever go to war with each other?"
2 experiences, not a teacher, but in my 6th grade class, my teacher breifly brought up the holocaust, and this girl who was notoriously stupid (still is) yelled "Whats a hall of cost?" and instantly everyone fell out of their chairs laughing. Second, in my science class, i think was fourth grade, we were talking about basic elements, and another notoriously stupid girl shouted "Who invented water?!". Good times.
clearing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and instantly everyone fell out of their chairs laughing.
A least she was curious about the word.
Hopefully the teacher discouraged the class from laughing and gave a serious answer.
I don't think someone is unbelievably ignorant if they haven't heard about the Holocaust by sixth grade. Maybe kids younger than this don't need to be exposed to all the worst things that have ever happened in the world.
i totally agree with you, and the teacher did give her a real answer after a little bit of a chuckle. no one was laughing because she didnt know what it was, even though most people did, but they were laughing at how confidently she mispronounced it, but i also dont blame that on her. but really though, excluding that, she is very annoyingly stupid and she also happens to be very racist and hates fat people, so what can ya do
I am a teacher of small children but the best thing was said by my own son at the age of 3 he looked at his testicles whilst in the bath and sighed asking
"Why have I still got these?"
A perfect question, think about it. We often talk to little boys about their willies or whatever you ant to call it, but rarely mention their testicles. He thought they were some sort of irrelevance that would just fall off at some point.
My 4th grade teacher was talking about how one of her childhood friends lived in a house that was apart of the underground railroad. The house had a secret room/spot they used to play in. I asked if she ever met a former slave in there.
I'm a waiter. Sooo, sorry. A man walked past 8 outside tables and a second entrance, and asked me, the guy standing in front of two towers of booze, if "he was in a restaurant." Fine I get it, it might just be a bar. I give him one resounding "yes" and he follows up with do you serve food. One of these is a stupid question
On a Romeo and Juliet test, I ask the kids to categorize characters by family (Montague, capulet, neither). It tickles me so much to see them pondering Cornholio and Serafina that i just keep using them year After year-Even though Beavis and Butthead has been off for years. "I don't remember Cornholio...i think i missed that part..." "perhaps you did. " "wait...he's a Montague!"
My Spanish teacher used to have a sign that said, "There are no stupid questions" in her classroom. She took it down after her first year of teaching because one student, after an entire year of learning Spanish asked when they were "going to learn the Spanish alphabet and use it instead of the English one".
craft876 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th Grade Earth Science, remember it like it was yesterday.
"What's stronger, hot or cold?"
Ginkyi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but was in class with someone who asked a stupid question. We were learning about the American Civil war. Even though the war had ended some soldiers did not know and kept fighting. A student asked "Why didn't someone call them on their cellphones to let them know that they lost."
My mom was a teacher for 30 years, she always said that there was a correlation of people that got erasers stuck in their ears and noses, and them going to prison later in life. It happened like four times.
I've got the winner.
We were making food pyramids. 8th grade.
"Name some fruits to go in this part of the pyramid"
Girl raises her hand, ecstatic
"Skittles! Are skittles a fruit?"
"No-"
"OH cough drops!!! "
I don't know what happened to her. The last thing I heard she'd bought a car with no drivers door or windshield.
trevy_f ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a dumb question when I was a TA and had a student ask if they could make an announcement before section started. I said it was fine as long as it had to do with the school in some way. She said yes and right before I started class I called her up to make her announcement. It ended up being an announcement for a dubstep festival she was a promoter and DJ for in downtown Baltimore. She then went on to hand out flyers to the entire class.
Not a teacher, (well I have reached some classes, but this was when I was a student's student'sโstudent'sโstudent) but at a chemistry class in college, after a lengthy explanation about how when burnt electrons gain energy, and how when they release this energy they emit light whose wavelength (and therefore color) depends on the position of the electron giving the effect that different elements produce different color fire when burnt. The teacher then burnt some iron and the fire changed to red a colleague of mine asked "wow, why did that happened?", To which the only reply the teacher could give was "is he like that with everyone, or is he fucking with me?".
We called him the "special", he wasn't exactly dumb but also not the sharpest pencil in the box, and when put next to a bunch of aspiring engineers his dullness became more apparent. He was also extremely religious, to the point of preaching in the bus (I unfortunately lived close to him) and even on class (he tried to argue with our physics teacher that there wasn't a scientific explanation for rainbows).
McWaddle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every class period, every day: "What are we doing today?"
/points to the same spot on the board where the day's agenda is written every damned day
Teacher of 8th graders. Two years ago, I had a boy walk back into the classroom after a visit to the restroom. He happily strolled back into class while playing with what appeared to be a used plastic tampon applicator. There was no wrapper, no tampon, just the plastic applicator. And he was playing with it on his desk.
I believe I may have quietly gasped.
Me: "Where did you get that"?
Him: "Othe ground outside of Mr. A's class."
Me: "Do you know what it is? "
Him: "No."
Me: "Okay, go throw it in the trash outside and wash your hands with soap for 60 seconds. Count it out. Then, come back to class"
Him: "What is this thing?!"
Meanwhile I sanitize EVERYTHING he touched.
Upon his return, I explain calmly-that it appeared to be a used tampon applicator. He appeared confused. He very slowly processed the information and the gradual change that crossed his face -from curiosity to horrified revulsion--was kind of priceless.
The stupid question? The stupid question came next. Pointing to me, he asked: "Can we keep this just between the two of us- it's very embarrassing."
I answered: "Who do you mean by "us"? As I asked, I gestured toward my left. The classroom of 23 students had witnessed the entire exchange. The girls were all gagging and the boys were either also gagging or baffled.
Second stupid question:
I had written the following log-in information on the whiteboard:
About ten minutes into the activity, a student raises her hand and says: I've tried to login in 5 times! It's not working-- So, i walk over.
You guessed it: instead of writing her actual student number- the numerals-the digits- she had actually tried to log in by writing "abcstudentnumber".
Sadly, I have many more examples and stories; I fear that some of these kids will be our doctors when we are old.
Meebus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but during a debate in 10th grade American studies about social opportunities in the '20s, a kid responds to a figure on KKK recruitment by posing the question "But is the KKK really racist?" in complete seriousness.
Needless to say, the debate did not go in that teams favor.
Not a teacher, but in high school during our History class the teacher played us a film that wasn't in color. This one girl asked the teacher if he was alive before people saw color. She honestly believed that the world was black and white until after the 50s.
Danacus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student at history class once asked: "How did they knew that milk came out of a cow?"
sieberi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher but i once asked my best friend if her gym class was co-ed. she said no, it's phys. ed.
Snikisan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Geography teacher here. I teach adults. I get this question every time I get new students: How can the water in the Nile flow upwards?
Teaching computer science in college (back when floppy disks were still a thing) and a panicked girl came up to me saying the computer told her there was a virus on her disk....was it safe to keep it with her other disks in her disk caddy?
My high school let seniors be a TA for extra credits. Decided to go with my favorite teacher and help her out, and she taught geography to freshman. I thought that most people ought to have a basic grip of geography by that point. US, Europe, continents. At least I had learned that in elementary school.
We were working on prepping for the final, and this girl asked if France was in the United States.
In grad school, I was a TA for a chem101 class. Girl straight up argued with me that ice and water are different. (As in ice could not be frozen water. Totally seperate.) I can't remember why it came up but she asked me if ducks were fish because they swim. I asked, "I can swim. Am I a fish?"
I teach courses related to computer programming, specifically video game development. When student's ask questions about their projects we always try to help them to find the answer on their own, as opposed to just telling them what to write. This usually involves asking the student a simpler question whose answer will lead the student to find the answer to their original question.
So once, I had a student ask for some help, and while trying to lead them to an answer I asked the student, "What is 32 - 16?"
"Ooh, I know this," says the student as they bring up the calculator app on Windows. They type in 32 - 16 and hit enter. Right before they hit enter, the calculator screen read "16", then they hit enter and it still reads 16, since that is the answer. So then the student hits enter again thinking the first time didn't work, the calculator now displays 0, and you can just see the students brain break. I ended up having to get this college student, who was studying computer programming, to solve the 32 - 16 problem on paper before they started to realize what went wrong.
Not a teacher, but in high school we had a school wide talk about cancer and cancer awareness. We had a survivor on stage who was willing to share his experience.
While he was talking about losing all his hair through chemotherapy, one kid brilliantly asked, "Does that mean your pubes fell out too?"
Cancer survivor moved onto the next question like a boss.
It was so long ago I've always just classified it that way in my head, but on reflection yeah, it's not inherintly stupid. If i had asked it I probably would have facepalmed all the same.
I think it was mostly my association with that kid- he was not a very understanding person altogether.
As a high school science teacher, I often go off on tangents about how much better the metric system is than the American (Imperial) system. We started talking about how cooking would be different using celsius temp rather than farenheit.
A student sort of quitely said, "if you get a cookbook that uses metric, do you have to get a new stove?"
I quietly turned to face the class and said, "This new cookbook cost me $10,000 becasue I had to get all new appliances!"
We all laughed but I feel bad for making fun of students.
"Anyone have any questions before we begin the test?"
(Hand goes up, call on 9th grader)
"Yeah, how do you cook shrimp? Like, a grill? Or in an oven? Microwave??"
In the media center, while working on Wild West research projects:
Student: "So the NFL was a thing back then??"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Student: "It says my guy plays for the Steelers..."
Me: "WRONG JESSE JAMES."
ZetaInk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the student.
My dad (who has done a lot of traveling and seen a lot of different religions) wanted me to grow up and decide on my own religion. As such, it was really only ever something I was tangentially aware of. I am currently taking an art history class which spans Renaissance to modern and it involves A LOT of catholic stuff for obvious reasons. Anyway, we were looking at Masaccio's Trinity and my professor was stressing the the literal interpretation of communion. Now, I kind of knew what communion was in that I was aware people eat the bread and drink wine and for whatever reason that had to do with Jesus. I thought he could turn garbage into food or something, I never really thought about it. What she explained was that the wine was quite literally believed to be his blood and the bread his flesh. Disturbed, I just immediately blurted out, "They want to eat him?!" and my professor just burst out laughing and was like... "well, yeah". The other students did not laugh though. Some of them are clearly catholic and I could feel them starring daggers at me. The guy next to me, who I have chatted with before, gave me a cold, "it isn't like that".
To religion, I am very sorry, I did not mean to be insensitive. Your art is very cool and I appreciate what you do for humanity. I was just surprised by the whole zombie/vampire thing and my thoughts vocalized when I did not mean for them to.
cryospam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is true that there are no stupid questions. It is also however true that there are lots of stupid people asking questions for which they should already know the answers.
Blck0ut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student in my Western Civ class asked me if the Europeans had the wheel in the 1400's.
atech087 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But did they have the wheel in the 1400's??
Blck0ut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party and I'm not a teacher but in my geology class we were doing a unit on the solar system and the teacher mentioned how the moon was slowly moving away from Earth. One girl yells out, 'So if the moon is moving away from Earth, does that mean one day we won't have night time any more?'
This was senior year of high school and this is the stupidest question I have ever heard. Even the teacher chuckled before explaining 'night time' to the class.
jef2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student 1: "Do goats lay eggs?"
Me: "Uhm, no." (Students giggling)
Student 1: "Are goats pork?"
Me: "No." (Lots of giggling)
Student 2: "You are so ignorant!"
Student 1:"So what. I don't even know what that means!"
My father was a high school band director. A student who was known to be a little off psychologically (but otherwise not learning disabled or anything) came to my father with his french horn, saying it did not work. My father gave it an experimental toot and discovered that he couldn't even get air through it. So he told the student he would take the horn and fix it.
Later that day, he examines the horn closely and discovers a portion of the horn was flattened. Looking closer at the marks on the metal, Dad made a mental calculation and realized it was about the right shape and size for a human bite.
So Dad straight-up asked the student the next day if he had bitten his french horn. The student said, "Yes. Why? Do you think that broke it?"
Not a teacher, but a fellow student.
In high school we were learning about Christopher Columbus, and one topic that came up was sending messages back to the King. The teacher talked about how it usually took months for the King to hear anything from Columbus. This girl raises her hand, then asks "But miss, why didn't they just e-mail?"
Another time in Science we were talking about fossil fuels when this guy raises his hand, "Miss, how come we don't just make our own fossil fuels? Wouldn't it be cheaper?"
My mom is a 7th grade science teacher. She was showing her kids something on a map and pointed out Alaska up north next to Canada. One student raised their hand and said "that's not Alaska." She said "what do to mean it's not Alaska? Where is Alaska then?" And the student goes "in a box in the Pacific Ocean next to Hawaii." Dead serious.
MrsMxy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but two weeks into a course on Nazi Germany, one of the students raised his hand and said "Wait, I thought Hitler saved the Jews." If looks could kill, that professor would be on Death Row right now.
Suqawnit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But one day in geology 101, we were discussing areas of unique or interesting geology. The professor mentioned Craters of the Moon national monument in Idaho. A guy in class raises his hand and, when called on, asks with a straight face "why is it called that?"
The professor, obviously caught off guard, causally responds "... because it looks like the moon... ", and maintains eye contact with the person in a shocked silence for a solid 5 seconds before moving on (pregnant pause, if you will).
I looked at the person sitting next to me and we both completely lost it. Maintaining composure for the remainder of class was almost impossible. I still giggle thinking about it.
And as far as I could tell, the question was 100% genuine. The person who asked was generally quiet, more so for the rest of the term.
Was the student living in AZ. Saw a map of the US without Mexico and Canada, so I asked why we go to California for the beaches when we could just go to our own down south. Teacher pointed out that Mexico is in the way. In my defense, who makes a map and leaves two major countries off of it?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 10th grade world cultures, there was a girl who insisted that there were 53 states. When we told her "No, there's 50" she giggled and said "I'm including Alaska and Hawaii!"
I'm not the teacher myself but I had this really good algebra teacher and he told us one time he was teaching and a student by the window in the room asked "can I let this cricket out the window?"
4-8-9-12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Grade-10 enriched math and the teacher referenced a solution to an equation being zero. A classmate puts up his hand and very honestly asks "negative zero or positive zero?". This was enriched math, not basic, not intermediate, not advanced. Enriched.
I got into an argument in grade 11 religion once with a girl who was very angry with me for claiming that Jesus was not white-he was middle eastern how could he be- and that he was Jewish.
Longest and most pointless argument I got into in high school
nl1004 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't tell if you're trolling.....
nl1004 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but in 6th grade science class a kid was annoyed our teacher was saying there was no cure for cancer yet. When asked why he was getting upset the kid said "even I know the cure for cancer! My grandpa told me!". When asked what it was he replied "a thousand herbs and spices!". He was so sure of his answer. So much laughter. Our teacher corrected him and told him he was mixing up cancer with Kentucky Fried chicken.
"So, like, when an astronaut is doing a space walk and they're looking at the earth, can they, like..." makes a pawing motion "...reach out and touch it?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dude in my class asked our teacher, after our test on WW1 and WW2, what Hitler was doing nowadays.
I was explaining to students that where I grew up, we had well water instead of city water. A student asked me, "you telling me every day you had to get water out of a well wuthering a bucket?" I understand why city kids would think that, but I will remember that one for a long time!
NehEma ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it is a pretty understandable question from a city kid.
Had a student ask me if people could live without a pancreas. Not a stupid question in itself, but when I asked why she asked, she followed up with "well the woman loses her pancreas after she gives birth, so can she live without it, or do they push it back in?" I really hope she was getting the pancreas and placenta confused.
Not a teacher but once had someone ask me where Egypt was and when I told them Africa, they called me an idiot and denied it was in Africa until I pulled up a map. The look on his face was priceless
Maox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't understand why they breed those Belgian Blue cows, they're just all muscle. What's there to eat on them?!"
Permafox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While definitely wrong in its own right, I've met a lot of people who stand by their beliefs that lean beef is for people who don't actually like steak, and that the fat is the only way to get any flavor.
My husbands friend's girlfriend asked "if the sun is so hot why doesn't it steam when it goes down (into the ocean)" - we were in college. She is now a district attorney. Hahahahaha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but, once a friend of mine asked if people on china were japanese
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
China says they are Chinese, they just don't know it yet.
I am not a teacher but a student, a girl in my biology class once asked this while we were talking about the down sydrome: "So if theres a down syndrome, is there also an up syndrome ?"
craft876 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a guest speaker, a cardiologist, in 7th grade science class. One student asks..
"What happens when you swallow something and it gets lodged in your heart?"
DrNO811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would've loved to get that question....answer: "Well, you would likely die...but don't worry, you would have to swallow something very large and sharp to have that happen and you would have to have amazing control over your asophagus."
Have a Management Information Systems class, and on the board it said "Log into classroom pc." This kid next me goes on to google on the classroom computer, and searches "classroom pc"
My ex told me this story about how his mom used to tell him that chocolate milk came from brown cows. He believed this like his own personal gospel and shared it loudly and proudly with the class.
Not a teacher but I was in an auto tech class in high school, we were learning how to weld and during a video the teacher showed us, this one guy asked "if we can't look at the light when welding how come the video doesn't hurt our eyes?"
The look on the teachers face was priceless.
KhabaLox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danguski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During HW time while explaining a multiplication problem to a 5th grader, I asked her "Ok, so what's 4 times 7?" she turned her head and looked directly at me and said out loud "Wait, you don't know?!" the whole class busted out laughing including myself, she just looked confused.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching history of psychology, specifically on behaviorism and its founder John Watson.
student: so if behaviorists don't believe in free will, how come Watson espouses it in Sherlock Holmes?
me: ? ...
Not a teacher, but in the 7th grade I was taking world history. At the time we were studying the reign along with geography of Africa. We were studying some hand drawn maps of some empire in Africa when my history teacher asked the class "how do you think he was able to chart out this map?" (This map was at least 2000 years old) I raised my hand but as usual I didn't get picked. Instead the girl behind me (who never even raised her hand) got picked. In her annoying stereotypical valley girl accent. "Uh, did he use a drone?" My teacher was in disbelief. "Um, cause like, they could just put their iPhone on their drone and like take a picture looking down and then like print it."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you in 8th grade now? Drones haven't been around very long haha
Our geography teacher wasn't the brightest. She made a reference to Africa and pointed on world map to South America. The class laughed for like half a minute.
Ofnir_09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I'm reading this thread (It's Friday, back off) a student asks me "Isn't Washington D.C. in Oregon?" without an ounce of sarcasm in her voice and I replied "no, but your question now lives in Reddit"
Edit: Comma
gmsteel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The two examples that i can remember are. "Do protestants believe in Jesus?" - from a girl with a very catholic family. The other was a different girl who was adamant that everyone had red and blue blood because the veins are different colours.
I was trying to help a particularly spacey student (6th grade) to find a book. After multiple failed attempts to find it himself, I started to help him go through his bag. It was a completely disaster, and I told him "I might need to start giving you a grade for keeping your bag and supplies in order." He said, "Really??? What color?" Dumbfounded, I told him to go to the shelf to borrow another copy of the book. When he stood up, I saw that he was sitting on the book in question. When I pointed it out to him, he said "Can I use that one?"
While I'm not a teacher and this didn't happen in a class room, I have to share. I was dating a girl once who lived in San Diego and I lived in Orange County. She spent the night at my house once and upon driving back to San Diego she fell asleep. She woke up right around San Onofre, looked out the window and asked "what's that?" Surprised she didn't know what the nuclear power plant was, I explained it. She replied "No, I meant all the water out there". Shocked, I told her it was the Pacific Ocean, to which she replied "oh, I didn't know it went up past San Diego". That was the last time I ever saw her.
Had a classmate in college ask what procreation was, on the one and only day that she brought her baby to class.
I will never forget the dumbfounded look on the instructor's face.
D3qTV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in my science asked if turtles could breathe
When I was a senior in high school a girl asked the biology teacher if you can get infected by computer viruses. The teacher actually said "good question" before explaining that no, you cannot.
I was in a university class where a kid asked how a Mars rover could move if the planet was spinning. He asked if it had to jump in order to move. He couldn't understand that you can move even if the ground is rotating beneath you.
gwyn15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my HS class once asked how fish survive the winter in Canada when the lakes freeze. The teacher said "they eat bits of plant and algae and such that still grow under the lake during winter." girl asks, "how do they get to it if they are frozen?" ..... she thought the entire lake/river freezes all the way through, like when you leave your coffee mug outside and you get a little frozen puck at the bottom. It was like grade 11.....
rdrjon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Middle school as a student not a teacher I had a kid ask where did the Statue of America come from? ( asking about the Statue of Liberty)
Not a question, but a student in class commented that ice sinks. Mind you, this is in an 11th grade class. I couldn't handle it, the class couldn't handle it. We legitimately took about a half an hour to argue that ice in fact does float. He wasn't trolling, he legitimately thought that ice sank.
Was in a class in high school when we had a substitute teacher one day and we were watching that movie "2012" with the world ending or whatever.
Bunch of people were talking and making noise and this girl got up and said " guys shut up! This movie is based off of a real story!"
Not a question or submitted from a teacher, but it was really funny.
Obligatory not a teacher but a girl in my US history class in high school had one.
We were just starting the unit on the Korean War and she raises her hand and asks: "What's Korea?"
Rossomak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school a kid asked "What's the sideways 11 you keep writing [on the board]?" to which the teacher answered, "You mean the equals sign?" No one laughed, it was too sad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate of mine asked who Hitler was in an 8th grade world history class.
DPS2004 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but once saw a kid in 7th grade ask if December was the last month.
ss0889 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, but was a student at the time. sophomore year of high school. watching a video about WW2 in social studies. all of a sudden, some girl throws her hand in the air and goes "Wait, Japan dropped the atomic bomb on pearl harbor, right?"
normally a teacher will straight faced correct misconceptions and try not to judge or otherwise ridicule students.
that is not what happened on this day.
WesD98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in my freshman year in high school a girl asked our World Geography teacher if Islam was a country.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I'm the offender.
In high school English class, I forgot the word 'their' was a word and got into a two minute argument with the class and test until I gave up just so we could move on.
I know I'm not a teacher: but someone in my high-school science class (earth science) asked: "What's a star?" in a dead serious manner when the teacher was talking about The Sun. She could not figure out why the class was laughing so hard at her. We were 15 year old Freshman in high school at the time.
In another bout, the same teacher asked "Why do you think it would be cold here?" while pointing at a globe. That same person answered "Because the metal ring is blocking out the sun!" with all the confidence in the world. She, again, couldn't figure out why we were laughing so hard. The teachers face was just... I've never seen visible disappointment display so prominently in my life.
First day in a high school music theory class, the teacher (Grammy Platinum winning high school orchestra teacher) was going over basic notes when a self-taught guitarist raised their hand and asked "By the G are you referring to the 6th fret on the 3rd string?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know how to respond to the question."
Student looked at the class smugly like he fooled the teacher. Everyone else just looked at him confused.
After teaching a detailed week long unit on human reproductive anatomy to seventh graders, a female student asked where the baby comes out. Other students rolled their eyes and smirked as it was covered quite clearly. I answered, "the baby comes out of the vagina" She exclaimed in horror, "Oh my God, I thought it came out of the butthole!"
My biology teacher once told me that a girl in one of his former classes thought that there was "mammals" and the gender appropriate opposite "femammals". I found it odd that she went 16 years without anyone correcting her.
tototo31 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I over heard a class mate very seriously ask the school nurse if babies had bones. She is 18
NXorBust ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll always remember Johanna Morrisson, Grade 9, asking my RE teachter "Miss, where is God Buried?"
adara94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a college freshman ask me 'who is George Washington and why is he famous?' He had graduated from George Washington Carver HS and thought they were the same person. Luckily a nearby student pulled out a $1 bill and started explaining...
Not a teacher, but I remember being a junior in high school with a classmate that believed AIDS is what kills you, not the lack of an immune system able to fight off bacteria/infections. Argued with the biology teacher about it for half the class period.
Not a teacher, but the day after attending a beach-bonfire party, one of my classmates in 8'th grade said:
"Can you get a sunburn from a bonfire?"
Which was met with laughter from the class, and a profoundly confused look from our biology teacher.
Sammy1Am ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually not too unreasonable of a question; a big bonfire does give off a lot of radiation, and radiation from the sun is what causes sunburn. As it turns out the radiation from the bonfire isn't UV so you won't, but there are non-sun sources of radiation (like welding) that can give you sunburn.
I'm not a teacher, but in my 7th grade biology class a girl asked "So like, can you die from cancer or a heart attack?" followed by "are they contagious?"
I work in the after school program at an elementary school, and one kid told me he was going to visit his grandpa that weekend. I asked him where his grandpa lived, and he stood there contemplating for a second before asking, "What comes after Ohio?"
She told me she heard the earth was hollow and we lived inside it. She. Plus not understand how we could be on the outside, unprotected.
Psmgop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Class in Miami is watching news report about New York City. Scene contains sides of residential buildings with fire escapes.
Dude 1: "Sir, what are those things on the side of the buildings?"
Me: "those are fire escapes. You climb down those in case a fire within the building traps you inside your apartment."
Dude 1: "Why don't we have those in Miami?"
Dude 2: "...'Cause there's no fires in Miami, bro!"
Aaronp6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but had a kid in shop class say that his four wheel drive didn't work because the window motor in his passenger side door didn't work.. I don't know where he got this info but he was dead set on it.
I was tutoring a high school junior for her human anatomy test, and I asked her how many lungs the human body had. She shrugged and told me three. I did my best to keep a straight face.
Jenbag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 14 year old boy ask me "Is it true that girls really have a time of the month? And what time is it? Like 3? 4?".
University academic writing class. Going through simple exercises. Really simple exercises. Prof brings up a sentence and asks the class to find a noun in the sentence. One kid asked the prof "whats a noun?"
This will probably be lost in translation but some girl in HS asked "how many Hitlers were there?" (-ler is the plural form in Turkish, Hitler literally means Hit(s).)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last year of law school. The professor explained that he was going to call on students alphabetically throughout the semester.
This adult woman asked, "So by alphabetically, do you mean A-Z, or...?" Her last name started with M anyway.
A girl in my high school became a legend when she revealed to the class that she had no idea that a penis had a hole on the end of it. Someone asked how she thought they peed, and she said, "Through the pores?"
Not a teacher, but one time in my freshman year of high school a classmate of mine found the bones of some small animal while we were doing a school service project. He proceeded to pick them up and ask our physics teacher who was chaperoning, "Hey Mr. Jones, is this a law of physics or somethin'?"
Not necessarily a question but my mother once said to me:
"I don't believe in recycling"
"Mom recycling isn't a myth like Zeus or something"
"I just don't believe in it"
"Like you don't agree with doing it"
"No"
I was absolutely floored.
Dami3n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do I no longer have a C? I had a C three weeks ago and I haven't done any work for you since then!"
Sophomore in my high school Geometry class...
My husband came home from teaching one day with a perplexed look on his face, and said a kid in his health class asked him what the best method was for washing a condom.
Scruzzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question, but I was on a cruise once with a group of bill collectors (nightmare, right?) As we were getting ready for our day at sea, we were talking about the importance of sun screen on such a sunny day.
One of the women took a drag off her cigarette and declared, "You don't need sunscreen. The ship is moving. You can't get burned if it's moving."
My step mother also once asked my ex's Irish mother what language they speak in Ireland. The answer was "The King's English."
Not a teacher, but I tutored kids in English during my senior year of high school. I had a freshman boy ask me how to spell the word 'a.'
mkubs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a discussion about The Alamo, a girl in my high school history class asked the teacher if Texas was still a state.
The silence that followed was gut-wrenching.
Not a teacher, but in 5th grade sex ed, a (male) classmate asked our teacher how big ovaries are. Our teacher said they're about the same size as testicles. Student's response: how big are those?
The teacher said "You wanna reach under your desk and find out?"
Beziano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After telling them to let me explain before they ask questions...
Me: Ok guys. Are there any questions?
Was in Honors AP US History in Sophomore year of High School. Assignment: Write an "epitaph" for Thomas Jefferson based off his accomplishments in his presidency.
Kid in my class: "Do we have to use words to write the epitaph?"
"When will it be finished?" ..."What?" ..."The Jewish Bible. When are they going to finish it?"
Plumhawk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, this was asked in a science class that I was a student in. A 16 year old girl asked "Are stars really shaped like... stars?" (meaning the five pointed star that you would get on your elementary school homework for doing a good job). She couldn't conceive that they were (goodness, gracious) great balls of fire.
Mom is a professor, her comment to this: " 'I missed class the day before, did we do anything important?' No shit, We didn't spend the whole day doing jack shit like you, thats a stupid fucking question."
Not a teacher, but a friend of mine told me when she took her first sex ed class, she asked (regarding oral sex) "How can people get STIs from just talking about sex?"
DiiLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow classmate of mine once seriously asked: "Shakespeare is written by Lessing (German author), right?"
Obligatory "Not a teacher". The other day we were taking our AP calculus midterm. There were some questions which said "skip the question" next to them. At least 3 kids raised their hand and asked if they should skip them
When I worked as a 1st grade aid during one of my scheduling blocks back in high school I had a kid ask me how they got the bones out of the dinosaur shapes nuggets.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 39 weeks pregnant: They said you're having a baby! Really?!?!
I bet this came from a student whose native language isn't English. If the teacher speaks fast, it may be hard for the non-native English speaker to differentiate between "pacific" and "specific".
I'm a camp councillor, and a very young child (maybe 6) told me about the ton of fish his mum had caught. When I asked how much a ton was, he replied with: "52"
Not a teacher, also it was not in class, also it was not a question.
My brother and I woke up late for school one day, and I was almost done getting dressed. I noticed he still wasn't even close to being done. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he couldn't figure out which sock went on which foot. I still can't fucking believe it.
"Sir, can you tell my neighbour that the prostate and the arsehole are the same thing?"
I teach maths.
pilows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but last year had a fellow student ask "was Churchill president during WWI?" while we were studying American involvement in WWI.
During a class on the US debt and general economic topics a girl I went to HS with asked our Econ teacher, "I mean, like, why can't we just print more money?"
Our teacher wouldn't let us go to lunch until the person who had poo'd in the urinal admitted it to her. So she had us all wright on a piece of paper if we had done it, yes or no. This was when Mikey raised his hand and asked how you spell yes.
I'm not a teacher, but a girl in my 7th grade math class asked me how many bottles were in a six pack and she was amazed when I told her 6. Could not, for the life of her, understand how I got that crazy number.
College cultural geography class surrounded by football players in it for easy A's. In a section talking about the importance of trade routes throughout history, professor is discussing how rice has been cultivated in Africa for the past 3,000 years and asks how rice might have ended up in Africa.
Enthusiastic football player raises his hand. "Christopher Columbus."
...he not only had any clue that he might have been wrong, but when it was pointed out that it was incorrect, still didn't understand why it was wrong.
Wingly21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the class clown
"Sir, is it true that Custer lost at the Little Big Horn because of his diabetes"
Once had a classmate ask the teacher if there were plants that grew barbecue. This was the 8th grade "Advanced Learners" class. Public education ftw!
doobwah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a student ask me if the electric chair had a cushion. Come to think of it, I guess that was a pretty good question after all.
moak0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fifth grade they brought in a guest speaker to teach us about AIDS.
They taught us that the only ways to get AIDS were through sharing needles or having unprotected sex. They were very emphatic that it could not be transmitted through hugging or kissing.
I raised my hand. The guest speaker called on me. I asked, "What if you drink someone's blood and they have AIDS?"
The guest speaker responded, "Why would you ever drink someone's blood?" and she gave me a look like I was messed up for asking it.
The classroom erupted in laughter and then they moved on to the next question.
I don't know, bitch, maybe it's an accident? Maybe my friend got bit by a snake and I have to suck out the venom. Maybe I'm a fucking vampire. Maybe just admit that you don't know the answer instead of making an anxious kid feel like an asshole.
SANwife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 5th grade puberty ed class: A girl asked, "When do our eggs hatch?"
Not a teacher but a university student. Yesterday someone on my floor asked, "hey do you know how many sides a hexagon has" and somebody else said "four" and was not joking. That person realized after like 30 seconds and said "sorry thats rectangles" (which isn't necessarily even true", but I cannot believe that someone who is 20 years old doesn't know what a fucking hexagon is. Shit they're a chem major too, all those charts and shit are fucking hexagons, people amaze me sometimes.
jyuru ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why should I learn English? I'm never gonna go to Paris or something."
I'm an English teacher... in rural France.
Maybe they assumed there would be more need for it in a bigger city like that since tourists that are more likely to speak English would more often than not travel there rather than a smaller city?
I don't mind that this gets reposted twice a month. It always gets one good, new story that I haven't read before. I just with they were numbered. "Part XX" for example. Although, there aren't enough M's in the Greek numbering system to count how many we'd need.
I'm not a teacher or anything but a girl in my class asked in history class learning about world war...after learning it all year she says "Miss what's Britain"....
Im a student, but one day, our history teacher had explained that theatre's in ancient Rome/Greece were called the "Odeon" in italian or greek iirc. (Odeon is also the name of a chain of cinemas in Ireland). He explained the the cinema chain was named after the ancient theater's.
Class mate puts up his hand and asks what CineWorld was named after.
Azotus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was Student Teaching a number of years ago in a sophomore literature class. I was talking about our next lesson and how it would be on the Greek Tragedy Madea. One of the better students in the class got really excited and started flipping through the textbook to find it. I had to break it to her that it had nothing to do with Tyler Perry.
Not a teacher, but this happened when I was in 5th grade. Our teacher was great (though a little on the strict side), encouraged us to ask questions and announced that there was no stupid questions. Taking that as a challenge, one of the kids in the class decided to ask "if chickens had teeth, would they eat meat?". The teacher thought that was a great question, and so great that she had him write a paper on it, due the next day....Turns out the answer is no, even if chickens had teeth, their digestive system would not be able to break down the meat properly (at least that's according to a 5th graders research, I never cared enough to fact check it).
Had a student who was going to do a religious fast and not eat any grains (bread, cereal, etc.). He desperately wanted to know if potatoes were a grain because he still wanted to be able to eat chips.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dinosaurs became fuel. When we bury the dead, dont they become fuel too? Why is then it's called non Renewable energy when we can clearly make more fuel from dead people jus by burying them?
After teaching students about 'slender walls' in an engineering course for a few weeks in a semester, a students asked me during his final exam what the meaning of 'slender' is.....
Corinos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Standing on a beach with water between his toes, "Sir, how high about sea level are we right now?"
20 yo girl in a discussion about climate change: "What I don't understand is, if the sun is getting so hot, why don't they just shoot off a piece of it?"
Stared at her for a few seconds to check if she was joking. Also, she did Geography until midway through high school.
She wasn't one of my students, but my sister posed a rather distressing question to me as a teenager.
She was born in South Korea, and my parents brought her to the U.S. at 3 months old and adopted her.
When she was 16, she overheard a Chinese girl in her class having a conversations with relatives in her native language. My sister asked me:
"If I had grown up in Korea, would that mean I'd have to speak Korean?"
I replied, "Yes"
She looked at me incredulously, and said, "I don't think that's possible. That language is mad complicated, and I'm sure I'd never be able to learn it."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my Primary school (aged 10ish) a kid asked the teacher what colour was the yellow submarine.
A girl in my high school history class - we had been learning about WWII for about two months and she knew her stuff about specific battles ( D-day, the Battle of Britain etc) but one day just puts up her hand and goes "Sir, who won the war?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had just finished reading Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. Before we read it, we had done a history lesson on Julius Caesar, watched a biographical movie, etc. At the end of the play, I showed the kids the place in Italy where you can go see where Caesar's body was burned, where people still brought flowers to him. One girl was astonished and said "WAIT, He's real??? How could he be real??? I thought he was a character in a play!"
I asked my students to research leaders during World War II and assigned them a country. A girl assigned to China was researching Hiro Hito, so I explained he was the leader of Japan and she needed to research someone else. She told me that China and Japan were the same thing.
drjo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way too late but I was once in a graduate mathematics class and a student asked, "what does that O on the board represent?" It was a zero.
spykid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in my class asked this. "So, if say I have HIV, and I... You know," makes jacking hand motion, "and get some on myself, will anything bad happen?"
Yes, Chris, you'll get double-HIV...
mer2016 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When were the gays invented...an 8th grader asked me that...
In my 8th grade Earth Science class, we were talking about oceans and ocean life etc, and I remember a girl in my class suddenly raised her hand, and sincerely asked the teacher, "What would happen if all of a sudden all of the air on earth was just...GONE?" So, in one of my favorite memories of school with one of my favorite teachers...he walks across the room, stands directly in front of her desk, and says (with a level of seriousness I didn't think possible in the situation), "It'd ruin your whole day." and walked away to continue on with the lesson like nothing had happened. The entire class erupted in laughter...I still laugh when I think about that moment.
One of my mom's coworkers took an upper level biology class, and the professor was talking about bats. One of her classmates gets a blank look and says, "Wait those are real? I thought those were just made up things in horror movies!"
Once during my second semester of law school. We had a class taught by the Dean..It was criminal law. During a lecture this kid out of nowhere raises his hand and says "the penal code misspelled marijuana. Does that mean it's not really illegal here?" I swear the Dean actually said "You know how they say there are no stupid questions? Well that was definitely a stupid question". And then through the rest of the semester he was always a little hard on that student. And the student always basically doubled down on it for some reason. It's felt like I was observing a vicious cycle play out. The more the Dean would pressure him to act professionally the more he acted like the high school class clown. One day he was asked to recite the facts of a rape case. He essentially needed to relay that a man had oral sex with a woman. I swear god this moron goes "Then he ate her out". The entire class had this collective gasp like what the fuck is possibly wrong with you.
Also on Halloween this kid came in dressed like Zelda. And no not Link. Zelda. If not for fear of being sued for some anti gay bullshit that probably would have been the last straw. But who knows.
Had this conversation with a student last year, as we were discussing volcanoes:
Student: What would happen if I touched lava?
Me: Lava is really hot. You would die.
Student: But like, what if I drank it?
Me: You would die.
Student: What about if I went swimming in lava?
Me: You would die.
Student: What if I kicked the lava?
Me: Your foot would catch fire and burn off. And then you would die.
Student: But what if I splashed some lava onto me?
Me: Ok, I think you're not understanding. Lava is really hot. Like, really really hot. Have you ever burned yourself on hot water or grease? It really hurts. Now, lava, at minimum, is around 20 times hotter than that. Lava is so hot that if you just go near an active volcano, the hot air will likely incinerate your lungs and you will die. That's what scientists that study volcanoes usually wear protective suits. If you try to touch lava in any way, You. Will. Die.
Student: Ok. But like, what if I jumped into it?
Me: ...
Student: ...
Me: Sigh. I don't know, why don't you go visit a volcano and find out?
My uncle used to teach and he said a student raised his hand during a talk on space and planets. These were high school kids BTW. " Hey Teach! Where in space is that big cube? " My uncle was puzzled. "I have no idea what you are talking about" " You know that big old floating cube from Star Trek?"
One of my friends, in her med school class at McGill heard a girl saying that she wanted to have a rhinoplasty, but not for her. For her kids. Apparently this DOCTOR in training thought that her plastic surgery would be hereditary ....
Teaching students that the word "vocation" means "calling" -- and I said that I loved my job and felt like it was my "vocation" -- and one of them asked..."What's your job?"
"Um....I'm your Latin teacher." "Oh yeah!"
Aopap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they just couldn't believe you love the job, they thought you have another
I'm a high school English teacher. This was a couple years ago. My kids got a little off topic, and sometimes, for my own amusement, I humor them. I was teaching juniors in an AP Language and Composition class. The conversation turned to STDs (we were probably reading an essay or story about relationships) and one of my students asked me if AIDS was transmitted when somebody with HIV pees on your face. Since they are AP students, I just walked out of the room in disbelief.
mrskbell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mrs. Bell, is an orangutan a real fruit, or is it just made up?"
In a college class we had an oral exam and I did it on some military coup. I pernounced it coupe. Like a 2 door car, for the whole exam. At the end the teacher said "it's pernounced 'coo.'" subtly, but man did I feel like an idiot.
I know no one is going to see this, but this once in college this one kid kept calling the sun a "fire planet" when talking about a video we watched in class. He tried to correct the professor when she told him it was the sun...
slimkt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Friend asked me what the seam on his scrotum was from. Not a dumb question really, but his assumption was. He honestly believed the seam was a scar from someone performing covert testicle surgery on him in his sleep. We were seventeen at the time and it still blows my mind to this day.
I'm not a teacher but when I was a teenager (in the 90's) I spent time in both California and Florida. I was asked, seriously and by multiple people, if I rode a horse to school and whether or not I had electricity/running water in my house, because I was from Nebraska.
Don't we all have these things or concepts about the world and one day we discovered that they're totally wrong. And how glad were you when you discovered this by yourself?
I thought a different language just meant that you switched the letters, so a t in English was a s in Dutch or something. I didn't think this one really out, and it didn't took that long to discover how it worked. I thought trees made wind. I thought that for an LP to play music, they had a (children's) choir standing ready to sing for me. It confused me that if another kid would play the LP at about the same time, but just one minute later. I couldn't believe that the needle and the record was enough to create music.
maaaybe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More a realization than a question:
"Wait, gamma rays are real?!? I thought they just invented them to explain the hulk."
I had a student email me to ask when he should submit the rough draft of the term paper for the class. He asked if it was due before the final draft, or at the same time.
A student asked: "Who's the fastest man alive?"
I said it was Usain Bolt, to which he asked a follow up question: "Yea, but is there anyone faster than him?"
SmuntyJr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my teachers told us there's no wrong questions, only stupid questions. One of the examples he gave is, "Do worms go to heaven?"
when i was in highschool i had a girl classmate ask "if sperm is made of protein why does it taste so salty?" everybody laughed it was an environmental science class too
This isn't a stupid question, but it might be one of the dumbest things a student has DONE in my class.
A week ago, students turned in their first programming project to me. I opened up the project of a very, very bright girl and was presented with a single line of text: "Why do we have to code? Its fucking boring."
I suspected that she had done the project and then, somehow, typed something as a joke to her friend in the class, then saved over her entire project and submitted just that one line.
I gave it a zero, told her she may want to check what she turned in, and it would explain the grade.
Four days later (today), she comes to me at the end of the day and asks why she got a zero. I asked her if she knows what she turned in...she looked confused. I said "Hey, I happen to have it right here!" She glanced at it, said "Was it a blank file...?" and then her jaw just dropped.
"You know what the most offensive thing about that was?"
"..."
"You used the wrong form of 'it's'."
EViL2uCe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a conversation with an inner-city high school teacher where they had to describe a city, and state, then somehow got to identifying continents, and even planet Earth. They did not know what a planet was... or even Earth for that matter. The students that did know this started an enraged debate to the students who couldn't identify Earth.
Not a teacher but this was one of my classmates. 6th grade sex ed.
She asked whether a girl can get pregnant if she interacts (in any way, i.e. chatting, touching, etc) with a guy during her period.
I'm not a teacher, this was one of the students in the same class as me "Do whales cause tsunamis?"
EMAW2008 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, and this is not a stupid question, but rather a stupid answer. In the 6th grade we had a quiz about different eras the earth has gone through (Jurassic, Triassic, etc). And the teacher was reading some of the student's answers out-loud.
catwalk1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My students asked me if I was black. I asked them, "what do you think?" (I'm not) and one kid answered, " Well, you're the French teacher so you're not white or black, you're French"
Obligatory "not a teacher," but this is too good not to share.
My eighth grade history class was known for going off on tangents. The teacher interrupted his lessons a lot to talk about current events, economics, or anything else he could think of. So one day, the conversation turns to Mount St. Helens. (For people who don't know, it's a volcano in Washington that had a huge eruption back in 1980. Scary stuff.) Our teacher showed us a video and we talked about it for a bit.
A boy raises his hand to ask a question. (This kid was already not the sharpest knife in the drawer.) The teacher calls on him, and the guy asks, "...But who put the bomb in it?"
The entire class burst out laughing. We didn't let him live that one down for a while.
sweadle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why did I get an F? I wasn't even here for that assignment!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow student, but in Jr. High Geology our teacher put up a map from the 1400's and was trying to emphasise how amazing the map was since they didn't have planes back then.
Girl in our class shouts "THEY DIDN'T HAVE PLANES BACK THEN?!" as if it was the most shocking strange thing she had ever heard.
Jr High Biology class, the student asked, "how is it that men and women who aren't married can have babies?"
manonnie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Dutch teacher in Geography and once a student of mine asked why water couldn't stream up the hill/ mountain instead of down. After a while of explaining I kind of quit, she just didn't understand what it had to do with gravity..
Extremely late, but I'm from Quebec City, in history class, a girl asked "if we separate from Canada will we need passports to go to Montreal?", immediately followed by "Will we dig a river around the province?"
j0c1f3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but a girl I worked with came up and stated...."you know who has all the money in this world?.....rich people..." as I sat there thinking about what I might have missed during the statement O_o I realized nope, she just said that.
Not a teacher but after my teacher explained her 30 year old brother was in Japan a classmate asked:
"How old is he in American years?"
She was completely serious.
I'm not a teacher, but at least once a year I remember the girl in my 9th grade German class who in complete straight faced seriousness asked "Does Germany have airplanes?"
Where is she now I wonder? What other unsolved mysteries are rattling around upstairs?
In earth science, 9th grade, we were learning about the ice age. The teacher had a slide show going, being in Michigan we of course hit "how the great lakes were formed" teacher goes on about how the lakes were carved by glaciers like the ones on the slide and continues for a while about how glaciers influenced our area specifically and gave us our sandy good-for-farming-celery-by-the-way soil and moves on. Next slide is mammoths and we talk about the mammoth tusks in the local museum and stuff, when this dunce says "so those made the great lakes?" ...she legit thought Woolly mammoths made the largest bodies of fresh water, just carved them out with their tusks.
Had a kid in my high school class one year ask what Obama's last name was
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher, I was the student. I asked my science teacher if dogs sleep well. I was kinda heartbroken that he just laughed at me for asking even though I was just really curious cause I didn't know the answer.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in science we were talking about radiowaves, and gamma rays, and there was a picture of light hitting the triangular prism, to create the colours of the rainbow. Here's what happened next:
Student: Why is indigo on the rainbow?
Teacher: It's another way of saying purple.
Student: I thought it was a store.
Different Student: I thought it was violet?
Another Student: No, it's purple!
The class went silent, and these two boys asked Siri what the colours of the rainbow were. I was in total disbelief.
After the first day of Intro to Sociology in college, I was walking out of the classroom behind two girls. The professor had been talking about Plato. One of the girls turned to the other and said, "why was prof X talking about play-dough? I thought that was for kids." I couldn't stop myself from audibly laughing.
Late to the party, but I once had a student after a test come to me with cheat answers written in her palms asking whether she could go to the toilet to wash her hands.
She didn't pass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a 7th grade girl ask how it was possible for a baby to stay alive for 9 months in your stomach without all the stomach acid digesting it.
opiet11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with kids on the spectrum that had behavior disorders on top of them and I had a student once ask if he could hit his female classmate... I mean at least he asked but not something a teacher would say "yeah go ahead" to.
birch95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. I think I was in kindergarten and I asked how you spell letters.
A girl in my class in Year 11 (aged 15-16) who got straight A*s in all the sciences once said in a physics lesson "I always get them mixed up so which one is real, Frankenstein or Einstein?"
We were learning about mustard seeds in my freshman year biology class in high school. Student who was not the brightest and still lives up to that reputation raises his hand and asks, "Is there a ketchup seed?" I have never heard a classroom laugh that loud before even the teacher who was normally very understanding was laughing.
Obligatory not a teacher, but in 8th grade we had some standardized testing and we had to write an essay about a famous person who had a historical impact. They gave you a list of about ten names to choose from. One of them was the baseball player Jackie Robinson. Well, at the time in our area we had a local female broadcaster named Jackie Robinson. You can see where this is going. At least half the class wrote their essays on Channel three, local news anchor Jackie Robinson. I have no idea what they could have used to fill that essay but needless to say they failed.
captcman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a dumb question but,
Substituting a 6th grade science class a few years ago. We were having a discussion about superman, Batman and other random superheroes. After listening to the entire class one by one tell me what power they would want, X-ray vision was brought up. The next kid that raised his hand, looked at me and said "If I had xray vision and could see through everything, could I see anything?" luckily before I had to think of a way to explain this to a 11yr old saved by the bell
When I was in high school, my professor was reviewing the countries of North America. He named Canada United States and Mexico. This Student raised his hand and with a straight face asked, "but what about Alaska ?"....til this day He has never lived it down
I used to teach children and adults a safety course (among other things). As I was handing out evaluation tests one of the adults raised their hand and said,
"Are there handicap assistance tests?"
"Sure. What do you need."
"One in braille. I'm blind."
This was a rifle safety course. It had multiple instances where you fire a rifle. I was floored.
Well , in my defense I was hungover, (no I am not a teacher). I was starting at a new job, unfortunately I was living with some crappy people that partied 24/7 and pressured me. I basically schedule pick ups for trucks to pick up freight, a company calls me and asks for a truck and I set it up. We usually have a confirmation number at the end that we give to the caller. This number is smack in the middle of the screen. Well I get confused easily enough, plus being completely hungover, training for 8 hours I am so out of it. Lady on the phone asks for confirmation, I pause for a long time searching for it... I look over at my Coach dumbfounded...I mouth "Where is it?" and she just looks at me like ...how the fuck did you get this far? I really wanted to crawl into a dark hole somewhere after that.
Not a teacher, but a classmate said the dumbest thing ever. 9th grade chemistry class. We were all talking about how heat and compression makes things go back to its original form. So this blonde asks, "So if a roasted chicken were to be heated and compressed enough, would it come back to life?"
As a teacher, a question that just amazes me that happens frequently is when a student is absent and the first thing they ask when they get back is, "did I miss anything?"
No. during your absence I taught absolutely nothing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 1st grade elementary school student ask me if I ever bled before. Then she went on to tell me that if she picks at her scab she can make blood come out.
Very loudly without context and having nothing to do with the subject at hand, "Miss, what's smegma?"
lewiscbe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After discussing the effects of the use of atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and how their radiation caused cancer and deformities. Classmate (who is a good friend and straight-A student... but doesn't always think things through) raises his hand and asks, "Did the atomic bomb invent cancer?"
Abnorc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an engineering class, one of the students asked my classmate what a mathematical symbol meant. It was "x 103." This is a sophomore level university course mind you.
TaKeN-Uk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but was told this story recently by our farm vet who was at the time 'Teaching' a student/placement vet. The student asked the vet why it was necessary to use lube each time an animal (large dairy cow in this case) required an internal inspection (from the rear) and seemed quite surprised to learn it was required.
Not a teacher. But I was in a class when the teacher started to talk about patriarchy. She said "Does anyone know what I mean when I say patriarchy?"
One guy tentatively raised his hand and said "Do you mean like, USA! USA!?"
This was a college level Literature class.
jonaahhh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate in my 9th grade Amercian History class years back asked why Alaska is as big as our country. She also asked why they had "funny accents" not like ours.
She though the entirety of Canada was Alaska.
gilleyja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually received this question from a high school senior in my A&P class a couple of weeks ago. "Since men can get breast cancer, does that mean women can get testicular cancer?"
This isn't a question, but this week, we started talking about early exploration in my 4th grade social studies class. I said "Alright guys! For a piece of candy, can anyone think of one explorer they might have heard about before?" I just knew they would say Christopher Columbus. It was easy! Then a kid shot his hand up and says "Indiana Jones?" If that's not bad enough, I asked the next rotation the same question and one kid answered Indiana Jones as well. I gave them another chance and the next kid says "George Washington!" I have a lot of work to do here...
Not a teacher, but supervise a TV studio where a college level sports broadcasting class was taught. Last semester the students had to do a 2 minute newscast. One student's newscast was 1:20 (one minute, twenty seconds), he tried to argue with the professor that his newscast was 120 seconds and therefore was 2 minutes. One of the few times I've laughed right in a student's face.
Helawat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student asked me a couple days ago " what's your religion?" His question was quickly followed by "did you vote for Trump?"
I was teaching about the particle model of matter, and how particles move faster when they are hotter/have more energy. A student puts up his hand and says "Is that why my water bottle leaks everywhere in the summer?"
Mentioned the name "Washington DC" in class the other day after the women's march. Had a student ask "What's that?"
She was serious, not kidding. High school freshman. Yes, in the United States.
Mullo-10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are glaciers made of ice?" Two weeks into teaching about the effects of glaciation and many of the processes involved. Made me question my competency.
I wasn't a teacher but in my ninth grade honors English class, we had a guy from Egypt. So one day we are in class discussing something we read from Africa, and our Egyptian classmate raises his hand and starts sharing some first hand knowledge on Africa with us all. Someone else in the class chimes in "What would you know? YOU'RE FROM EGYPT"
bcal16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't New York City close to Great Britain?
phroexx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I admit it, this one was me.
I asked my chemistry(and physics not that it matters) teacher, "What state of matter are people considered?"
I feel like that's actually a good question, since we do have liquid as part of us
ItsMeTK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's kind of a trick because though we are generally considered solids (especially by Changelings), a healthy human is a combination of many states of matter, some liquid, some gas, some solid, some plasma.
Not a teacher but when I was younger my teacher set a class homework task for us to find out how Tutankhamen had died. This was before I had access to the internet so I went to the other fountain of knowledge, my father. Excited to be the first one to tell my teacher the answer and get the sweet sticker she was offering for the first with the correct answer, I ran to her the next morning and told her 'acne'. Thanks dad.
nelso116 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have had students, on more than one occasion, argue with me that Africa is a country. I teach at a university.
I'm not a teacher or student, but I remember when I was in high school a few years back, we had kids call the teacher mum or dad. Is this common or are these kids just retarded
KatiushK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once in my life I called a teacher mom. After a long Friday, sometimes you just derp.
Class laughed, I shrugged it off laughing with them. Guess it's something that can happen.
Same as I once called my mother "honey" in the exact same way I say this word to my GF (not in english but the meaning is close to that). We laughed.
openeda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its when the same student asks the same damn question more than 4 times. The first time I'm curting you some slack. The 5th? I've already explained this 4 different ways! Doesn't happen very often, but there's always the one kid.
Edit: A word
Student: "So how did they put the North and South back together after the civil war?"
Me: "What do you mean...? You mean how did they unite?"
Student: "No, no, no, how did they close the gap in land??"
Not a teacher, but 15 year old girl was very adamant that Africa is a country and China is a continent. She had many more geography issues. To be fair, American students (at least in my area) aren't really taught at all about the world outside of our wonderful amazing country. But still
I had an 18 year old student ask me to explain the term prima donna. "What did people say before her?" He thought it referred to a time before Madonna.
Not a teacher but once a girl in my freshmen class asked our biology teacher "so are vampires real?" when we were talking about bats....I honestly could not for the life of me tell if she was being serious or not.
MRAII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do we need to learn about numbers? I'll never use a decimal in my life.
Feastt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's an antonym for straight?"
"Gay?"
Technically, he wasn't wrong.
Art_Rat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an art teacher, in my art room. A student is clearly trying to write the answers down from the back of a math textbook onto their worksheet that was due. I point out that they need to get back on task and they replied, "do we even have paint brushes? I can't start painting!"
The whole high school art class stared at her in silence and held up their brushes.
Not a teacher, went to elementary school in the Southeastern U.S.
In 3rd grade, the teacher was telling us about the continents (their names, some of the countries in them, etc.) and as we're learning about South America, this kid is like "GO SOUTH AMERICA!"
I think most of the class sat there a minute to try to figure out what he meant before the teacher realized he thought we lived in South America.
We were in Tennessee.
vactu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to high school in TN. Can confirm people are this stupid.
There are no stupid questions if they are really truly trying to understand the topic. (Even the hilarious ones I don't consider stupid, because at least I have the chance to educate them. It also usually says a lot about their home life when a student is asking something that seems so obvious to the rest of us.)
That being said, kids "trying to be funny" by interrupting with purposefully stupid stuff can get rather annoying. There is one in every class.
slayez06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a High School and will share one that was said this week.
Student comes up and says "Mr. B. I'm confused, this says the Spanish internet was created to stop Hershey. Like the chocolate? why do the Spanish not like chocolate?" I look at the quote in the book and it says " The Spanish Inquisition was created to stop heresy". I face palmed. That was my Tuesday guys and pretty much sums up my week aswell.
Nothing ruins your Friday like realizing it's only Tuesday.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The level of youth illiteracy is very sad. And kids these days just kind of guess at the word. I don't remember seeing that as much when I was a kid. They will "read" any similar word that startsxwith the same letter. At high school level, that's really sad.
Damn, I'm late, and no one will see this. Not a teacher, but first day of class in university. The class was Victorian England. I'd had the professor before for Tudor/Stuart England so I figured I'd take another of his classes. The class was a 3000 or 4000 level class, so it was exclusively upper classmen (juniors and seniors). Typical first day stuff, going over the syllabus, required books and reading, professor introduced himself. He told everyone he was from London, had gone to Kings College, and did his thesis on the suffrage movement so this class would be a bit more in depth than other classes as it was his area of expertise. It should also be noted for the purposes of this story that the professor is black. Gets done, asks if anyone has questions. Get the typical grade weighting/office hours/exam questions. And then it happened. This girl raised her hand and, no shit, asked, "as an African American, did you focus on the suffrage movement because it related to you on some level?" Professor paused, a broad smile crept across his face, and literally let out a laugh. He then said, "well, I'm neither African nor American, I'm British. Next question." Beyond the fact he had an English accent, he had JUST got done telling everyone he was born and raised in London and gone to university there. She didn't raise her hand again the rest if the semester.
Not one of my students but one of my classmates in a special high-level academic program. In grade 9 geography the Dalai Lama came up in discussion, and this one girl says "Wait, I thought the Dalai Lama was that sheep?" (as in Dolly the cloned sheep). We're all kind of sitting there in stunned silence and someone says "No" and then the girl goes "Oh right, isn't he like, a Buddhist nun?" Not quite hun, not quite.
I teach 6th grade. We were having a class discussion on how compost can be used to fertilize plants to help them grow. One of my students says that eggshells can be added to compost. I said absolutely.
Another one of my students asks me "if you put eggshells on a plant does it make it an eggplant?"
I start cracking up and then realize she was being 100% serious.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching European History at a private high school.
The students had to do an independent project and present it in front of the class.
One girl chose the Major Battles of the Napoleonic Wars as her topic, and she seemed to be doing a lot of research.
So presentation day rolls around, and she tells us about the great French commander Napoleon, and his battlefield successes.
Then she explains the two reasons we don't all speak French now:
First the Royal Navy.
Second, and more importantly, because there was another French General, Bonaparte, who wasn't nearly as successful as Napoleon. It was really puzzling for her, because Napoleon could probably have commanded the French forces at all these battles.
It was amazing how she did research, from multiple sources, and managed to miss the one tiny fact that it was the same dude...
RemySC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow student here but felt the need to share. A girl in my year 9 bio class asked the teacher if 'two girls had a baby, is there 100% chance that the baby will be a girl?'
The whole class looked at her for a couple seconds and I think she realized the stupidity of her question when she said it aloud.
Had a student I liked but was never paying attention. He would routinely ask after a half an hour of class discussion "what are we even talking about?"
The rest of the class would laugh each time. Everyone else had at least a basic idea.
"How is Trump going to build a wall between Mexico and the USA if Mexico is across the ocean?"
"Isn't India in the Caribbeans?"
This was a 10-11th grade American History class
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but once when we learning about segregation, the teacher told us about this guy was 1/8 black, and some kid went "So, he's like half and half?"
In AP Psychology my senior year of high school a girl rose her hand and said "But wait, I thought MLK was the first black President."
lkb0033 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was an assistant orchestra teacher in a mostly Hispanic community...first day of 5th grade beginner orchestra, it was a short class period with no instruments involved at all. The director is giving some basic information, dates for concerts, etc. She asks if there are any questions at the end of the class and one boy raises his hand and asks, "How do you violin?"
2 years later, he was one of our strongest violinists :)
Rhaski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a science teacher. Was just starting a new topic (astronomy and the big bang part of the course) and a Year 10 student says to me "(classmate) thinks she can see the moon during the day sometimes. That can't be possible, because the moon is like, the opposite of the sun, right?". Her friends are trying not to laugh, which is better than most 15 year olds would do, but I could see how badly they wanted to hang shit on her.
Explaining it to her wasn't enough. I had to get solar models out and explain, from scratch, how the earth orbited the sun, and how the moon orbited earth, how eclipses occur and the phases of the moon. Really elemental stuff that she was taught in primary school. She finally gets it in an "aha!" moment, I'm thinking to myself "well, the last horse has finally stumbled past the finish line" and the she says "why do we need to know this? Like, when am i going to use that?". This question irritates me at the best of times. I had to just walk away
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do we need to know this?"
"So that when you look up in the sky during the day and see the moon, you know it's not a UFO."
Not a teacher, but the dumbest question/statement I've ever heard in a class was in high school biology: "Wait, our bodies are made of cells? Gross." I was/am in northern California so the statement is even funnier if you know that it was said by a girl with a valley girl voice.
I tell kids "the only stupid question is the one I've already answered."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this counts but I was in a situation where someone asked something stupid to a prof.
My university chemistry professor is pretty old and as you guys know teachers always try to be cool so that the students don't hate on them or whatever you know what I mean.
So it was another long hour of chemistry and chemistry... I wasn't really focused on the prof and chemistry so I played around with my pens and other stuff AND.my prof talked about drugs and the chemicals inside them and after a while a guy behind me asked if he knew how to cook crystal and my prof started to laugh a bit and skipped the question. I'll never forget the face of that guy when he asked the question...
Ah ha! I have something relevant. A 4th grade girl once called me over during art and said, "my pencil isn't working". I looked at her and asked what she meant. She proceeded to show me the pencil 'wasnt working.'. I took it from her, looked at it, then told her as professionally as possible that she just needed to sharpen it.
During a freshman health class, had a student ask if it was possible to get pregnant from oral sex. Picking up on the fact that the student had probably "participated" in such an act, the teacher simply looked at her and replied "Yes." The look on her face was priceless. Everyone in the room now knew what she had been doing the night before!!
Sarria22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the student who asked the stupid question. Throughout school I was never the sharpest tack in the box, I wasn't stupid by any means but I was and probably still am, an airhead. I grew up in a town where there is a large population of Russians so growing up I assumed that Russia must be part of the US. Long story short in 7th grade I asked my teacher why Russia wasn't on the US map... everyone laughed.
mauri11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in history class, a kid asked the teacher what language England spoke.
Technically I'm not a teacher in the sense of school, but I still taught kids. I worked at a summer camp that on occasion drives it's campers through Canada. After a trip into Canada, one of my campers asked me and the other staff a question.
"What side of the road do they drive on in Canada?"
While you may be thinking this is a decent question, seeing as many countries other than the US drive on the left side of the road, at the time of her asking we were in a moving vehicle in the wonderful country of Canada. We laughed a lot and told her to look out the window to answer her own question.
I wish that had been the only dumb question any of them asked but it was a great experience.
Was doing a connect the description to the shape. Had a girl ask what shape a toilet roll was... she was 13. Thankfully I didn't have to explain, I think my face screamed "what the actual fuck" and her friend showed her.
sennets4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student asked how to spell DNA... Not the full word Deoxyribonucleic acid, no.. The abbreviation DNA.
He wasn't trolling or anything, he's just never passed a test.
Vansia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher:
This is more of a statement that I made once.
Teacher is doing role call, typically I would just say "here" but I noticed other students were saying "present". This confused me a little, until I thought I had gotten the joke. One day I said "apple" because what's a present most typically left for a teacher.
I facepalmed so hard when I eventually realised my mistake.
paroks1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I was in middle school one of my classmates (who was a well-known douche) raised his hand and asked our teacher, "Mrs. Y, what does semen taste like?"
She looked him dead in the face and said "I don't know, George, why don't you try it and let me know?"
kielly32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it had to be a Mr. Y I'm sure he'd be unemployed. lol
yes4me2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read no bad question. You are only stupid until you know.
When I was in high school, during a sex-ed session that was actually really informative and comprehensive, one of the topics was how oral sex can give you STDs, something quite a few of the students didn't seem to understand.
But my favorite question was from one of the girls to my left: "But what if you drink bleach?"
kielly32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha Jesus have mercy. I hope she was a troll and knew the difference.
sennets3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual teacher here.
15 year old : "Is Russia part of China?"
17 year old : "Do the trains run when it's raining?"
14 year old : "Is a second the same as one second?"
16 year old : "What are odd & even numbers?"
I went on a short summer Study abroad program as a grad student (I had to get permission and do some extra classwork as it was a Senior Level Class) The class was on the World Wars and we spent 2 weeks in England and France. My class was the innaugural trip. We were supposed to spend a week in England and a week in the Normandy region (Normandy Landing Beaches and northern sections of the Western Front of WWI)
While standing on Utah Beach literally feet from the English Channel, idiot undergrad asks this "Professor, is the state of Utah named after this Beach?" The professors looked dumbfounded. Her 23 classmates looked at each other to confirm what they had heard and instantly two dozen "accidents" were planned. I dont know how she made it off that beach.
That was the last time the University offered that trip abroad.
I was in my 7th grade history class and we were talking about why we celebrate the 4th of July when a girl in my class said aloud "oh I thought we just shot off fireworks for no reason." (Not sarcasm, trust me) This same girl would go on to get pregnant our freshman year of highschool.
My company announced a fun green event for our sales staff that said they would plant a tree for every 10% of sales growth. Guy in a 200 person meeting raises his hand and asks, "if we lose growth, will they cut down a tree?"....silence.
When our 6th grade class had to read Treasure Island the teacher asked a student what he thought mutiny meant. With full confidnce he told us that it was how the sailor's mutated if they were out at see for too long.
The kids older brother had been messing with him, he was so sure he knew the answer too. Whole class as well as the teacher coulnd't stop laughing.
My Fiancรฉe teaches 9th and 10th graders and a girl once asked her if babies came out of your belly button. It took a bit for her to get over the shock and explain how babies are made to this girl
In my brother class a guy asked "did napoleon and Hitler invade Russia together?" (9th grade) the question was inspired by my brother saying "one does not simply invade Russia, both napoleon and Hitler perished to them" (he is crazy about history) the worst part is that they were seeing ww2 in history class.
Ackrid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late, of course.
Not a teacher, but in my driver's ed class years ago, a girl asked "Is forty an even number?" and "Are wheelchairs street legal? Like, can you drive them on the highway?"
rumor33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third grader, taking a standardized reading test on a computer. Test is litterally called 'Reading'. Student is doing the test and then is looking at a page and a half long passage for a 15 minutes or so. She then raises her hand and asks me, with all the wonderment in the world, "Are we supposed to read this?"
PHDes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question on exam: Why is it difficult to determine how fast objects are moving in space?
Student's response consisted of a detailed description of how confusing it is for wizards to disapparate (obviously a Harry Potter fan) from planet to planet. He also spelled his own name wrong.
Had a student once ask if her friend who was lactose intolerant could still eat eggs. I said yes, and asked how the two foods were related. She said because eggs come from cows. I stifled a laugh but it seemed she was serious. So I got to explain to a highschool freshman how chickens work...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but as a student in the 11th grade, I once heard a particularly stupid kid say "wait, how could Schindler's List have won Best Picture if it was in black and white." He wasn't criticizing the films quality. He legitimately thought that Best Picture had to do with the visual appearance, AND that Schindler's List was visually a failure for having been done in black and white.
panda388 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for saying this, but it was funny because he was so into his work at the time, but he goes, "Mister.... How many el-bee-esses are in a pound? (How many lbs are in a pound?)."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I had a classmate tell me that the first blue eyed people in the world were banished to the mountains of "Caucasia." This is where they developed white skin.
Got asked just today by a 16 year old revising for his RS exam, "what religion are Catholics?" I replied "Christian". He responded "no my name is Owen miss". I was worried by his initial question, he's been studying this for 3 years!
On a scale of 1 to 10, what's your favorite candy?
DudeLost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Class mate. Tafe college so she's about 19-20 years old
Wouldn't ever drink coffee. She finally explained why.
She was worried it would make her heart turn black.
Her mum apparently...
"There are no stupid questions, but there are stupid people. Ask as many many "stupid" (with air quotes) questions as you'd like, because if you don't, you might end up a stupid person"
Tell a class that a few times, and they'll start to get REAL curious! Shout out to the goooood teachers! Happy Friday :-)
I worked in a school that was named after Teddy Roosevelt. We had a
Black and white mural of him on the wall, and his face was a dark grey. One day a girl came into class and asked "was Teddy Roosevelt black??" ( This was right after we elected Obama the first time) I said "no, we just elected our first black president and Teddy Roosevelt was racist." She responded with "so he hated white people??"
In my ninth grade honors bio class we were doing a unit on reproduction and this girl asked what a vagina was.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I ask you a question?"
I know it's not limited to students, but the circular nature of this question drives me nuts.
Also, one of my students about seven years ago tried to tell me that her mother was alive in the 1950s (she wasn't - not even close). I asked her, "C, do you know when the 1950s were?"
Not necessarily a question, by an off putting answer. I asked, "how do I know if this is an addition or subtraction problem?" And the girl raises her hand voluntarily, and so I call on her. She then takes about 20 seconds to think about her answer instead of having it ready. Finally, she just goes "Mexico?" The other kids look just as perplexed as I do. I just go "no, who else?" I teach 2nd grade and she was so serious about her answer. I have no idea what went on in her brain or if she misheard the question, but we were talking about a math problem.
HeyMissW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What day is it?" while we were standing in front of a calendar with the previous days all crossed off.
"What time is it? I can't read a clock. I never learned how." A 4th grader telling me he never learned to tell time, which is a bald-Faced lie because that's 1st/2nd grade math curriculum and he wouldn't have been passed along unless he had learned that, at least.
Bit late to this but too good to pass up!
I'm currently a student teacher but this actually comes from a classmate when I was in school.
In history class while looking at a photograph from world war 2 "Miss, was everything really black and white back then?"
She was completely serious.. and it wasn't the first time she had asked something like that..
I once had this guy in my class who asked his teacher whether or not are there living dinosaurs during the 18th century. After being answered no, he refused the answer and argued that there are dinosaurs living at that time. He was dead serious and all of his classmates including me were trying so hard not to laugh.
I once had an HS senior ask me "Is April the one that comes before or after February?"
eze6793 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, nor was this in school, but a 24 year old chick asked me and my buddy this. "Do you guys like believe in the universe? I know that we've like found the edge of it, but don't know if I believe in it". Totally serious.
Not when I was a teacher, and not a question per se, but in college this kid was - very obviously - cheating off my final exam. He got to one question, looked back at his exam, and then turned to me and said: "That answer is wrong."
I got a perfect score on that exam. Poor kid was too arrogant to even cheat properly.
When I was in grad school, I'd say half my class was Chinese, half of them could barely speak English. My best friend there was Chinese. She spoke perfect English and because they wanted us to do mixed groups for group projects, I always chose her if there was a choice.
Second semester, I got stuck in a project with another Chinese girl and a Cameroonian girl. Meetings and work consisted of just me and the Cameroonian girl. Her English was great, but she'd ask me questions about wording occasionally. We'd send it to the Chinese girl, who would add her part, print it, and turn it in the next day. I got the papers back at the end of the semester. She had rewritten all of our parts in horrible English. Our professor didn't count off for grammar, but he did on our papers. Some of the stuff I had written had been so badly mangled I wasn't sure what it was supposed to be saying.
Next semester, we collaborated with the online students for our capstone project. Her group was entirely online. She wouldn't do her work, the only thing she would ever submit was copied and pasted from Wikipedia. She got kicked out of the group, which meant she was responsible for completing about an 80 page project for a client. She showed up on presentation day ready to present with her group. She got an F, you had to pass that to graduate, so she sued the school.
The kicker, my friend went to work at Wal Mart. 6 months later, there was malfeasance at the management level, and they fired all the managers at her store. She couldn't get a job that could sponsor a visa and had to go back to China. Somehow, the terrible student is still over here.
cssc201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in my class asked, in the 8th grade, "Why did Abraham Lincoln kill Lee Harvey Oswald?" When we all looked at him with that "you're crazy" look he said "Oh, wait, no, that was John Wilkes Booth, wasn't it? John Wilkes Booth shot Lee Harvey Oswald."
This was a highly gifted program, with some of the smartest kids in the district.
This isn't a student/teacher question but similar.
My family and I took a trip up to New Hampshire to see some family. One day my cousin goes "hey, how far is New England from here? I've always wanted to go."
Man my brother's a teacher and he has so many great examples: "sir is a sperm a fish" "sir what animal is a rock" and my favourite; upon seeing a pickled penis at a science centre: "sir what's that!?" [My bro] "that's a penis but it's OK not all are that big" [student] "but sir! Imagine being chased down the street by that!
I'm a gymnastics coach. Our job is to tell them how to do a movement better. Granted ,it was a 5 year-old, but I told her to keep her leg straight for a skill.
She asked,"How?"
"Don't bend it!" is what I wanted to say. Couldn't put it in simpler terms; explaining how muscles work would be to much.
Not a teacher, but in my 12th grade biology class, the stupidest guy actually asked "so how does a women's uterus not just fall out when she stands up?"
Also,
"If there's hormones in birth control and it tricks your body into thinking your pregnant, if I took birth control would I test positive on a pregnancy test?"
The teacher didn't even know how to answer haha
Mackadal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grade 9 classmate asked "What's the Holocaust?"
A teacher once played a video insisting that Big Auto had "killed" the electric car in the early 2000s as part of a conspiracy theory (this was a woman who wore feathers in her hair and cried about water not being vegan because fish died in it). I asked her, if so, why was one of my dad's brothers very very rich from developing parts for electric cars, and was just about to enter a deal with GM?
She then said it was the stupidest question she'd ever got, so.
I'm not a teacher, I'm a student, but I remember in middle school one day we had to color a map of America or something based on something or other, I don't remember. Now the whole class was really freaking stupid, including me, since the teacher was a coach who just did not know how to keep his class quiet. Every class he had was rowdy and loud and acted like a bunch of kindergarteners. So anyway, this kid comes up to the coach's desk, and he asks, "Hey Coach, does this on the paper mean we're supposed to COLOR this area red, or LABEL this area with the word RED. The coach had made me sit at a desk next to his because I was the loudest kid in the class and I never did any work in class (I would do it all at home instead), but I still didn't get any work done that day cuz I was laughing at idiots like that kid
Sophomore year American History 110, at a prestigious west coast university; a senior ROTC gal whilst discussing very broad strokes of the Civil War, "Wait .. Illinois is in the ..... north....? Are you sure?"
I'm not a teacher
So a bit of background story
I'm going to tourism and hospitality school so what we learn is orientated to tourism.
This year in geography class we learn touristic geography so basically about different countries and their touristic attractions.
Our teacher gave us task to learn all capital cities in Europe and Africa and show it on map for bonus mark.
So here the story begins.
My classmate asked me where Italy is. We're from Serbia.
I was really confused because she was there. I asked her was she serious and she was like 'Yeah i am serious just tell me'
I told her and reminded her that she was there. She told me that she had no idea where it was and I just pretty much gave up.
Jack41EL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:48:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher, but there is a girl in my AP Environmental Science class that often asks really stupid questions such as "Are lizards really dinosaurs?" In the class, we also had to do arithmetic practice because calculators are disallowed on the AP exam, and I had to explain to her how to divide by a power of 10.
I wasn't a teacher and neither was the other party but if this had not happened to me I wouldn't have believed it was possible.
We were in drivers ed "studying" the drivers manual to waste away time not sure, when me and this girl were arguing and she called me stupid and was so petty as to try and write it on the board that, "(insert my name) is stopid" I could not stop laughing. Never let her live it down. Also, same class where my best friend asked me how to spell orange (she has lived all her life in the US). Yeah.
Pre-k teacher here... I have a mandated by the school behavior system where students move up and down from colors according to the choices they're taking (not a fan of the system). Green blue and purple are good colors yellow is a warning and of course the so feared red. At the end of the day they can see in their folders the color that they are in. This one time I used a crayon that had a weird tone of yellow and one of my students goes:
Sudent: "Why am I in orange?"
Me: "It's not orange is yellow"
S: "So.. orange is the new yellow?"
His tone of voice though... He's hilarious sometimes, very smart and special kid.
malosa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:05 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is less of a dumb question when you realize that many 'life' sentences aren't -LIFE- sentences, they frequently are what are referred to as 'indeterminate' life sentences.
For instance, 15-to-life IS a life sentence, but with the possibility of parole at the 15 year mark.
now let me say im not a teacher but had a fellow class mate say I know how to cure AIDS!!!! the teacher said go ahead she said all you have to do is inject a syringe of clorox into your veins and you will not have aids any longer.......
Not a teacher but my best friend confused words a fair bit due to adhd. This is a gem as follows.
Friend: So, are you retarded? (Instantly starts trying to correct himself)
My Dad (was teaching him to do mulching and hauling etc) : Eh, maybe sometimes.
lilheens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:12 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a high school Spanish test about Machu Picchu, while looking at a true false question that states "Machu Picchu is in Guatemala. True or False" ...... "Wait... is Peru in Guatemala?"
I was in a media studies class, Rupert Murdock was part of the topic and we were discussing his ownership of Sky. A girl in the class who clearly was not paying attention interjected abruptly with, 'Rupert Murdock? He can't own THE SKY!'. The lecturer literally face palmed....
Not a teacher, but a class mate was once talking about Hiroshima, since we were studying Japan at the time. Anyways, he goes, "I can't even fetish what the people were thinking when the bomb dropped."
I'm late to the party, but what the hell. Keep in mind, these kids are 14-19.
"Do we have 51 states?"
Not a part of a discussion. I have a reputation for not being an asshole when kids ask me questions and for looking up the answers if I don't know. Occasionally I regret that.
"Why can't they just learn American?"
"Will we still have to take Spanish if Trump is elected?"
"Will you get deported if Trump is elected?"
"Why can't Spanish just work right like English?" (Not a stupid question the first few times that it's asked, mind you, but when we've spent several weeks going over history so the students will understand that Spanish came first, it gets annoying fast.)
split41 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:10 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a highschool student ask "what's a sentence?" once
Not a teacher, but I was good friends with the teacher that coached the Chess Team. He was a physics teacher, and a kid once asked him (In senior year physics) "If I were on the moon, how far would I have to walk to fall off the edge?"
Strangely enough, there is nothing grammatically incorrect about stupider/stupidest. The only thing wrong with them is that using them makes you sound stupider than everyone else lol
Oh, and is "ironing" a joke or an auto correct issue?
Well this wasn't a question but an affirmation by my "brilliant " high school physics teacher. One time in class she was explaining how the sun rotates around the earth. Yep she said that in 1998. She was always very condescending to us and constantly telling us how we all were sooo stupid... Anyway I couldn't let that one slide so I raised my hand and said : I'm pretty sure that's not true and it's actually the other way around to which she replied oh yeah smarty pants how do u know that? Me: hmm cartoons..I'm pretty sure I learned that when I was a toddler. She kicked me out the class :D
TheSpoty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:11 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 6th grade the school nurse came into our class to give us "the talk." The nurse asked, "do you guys know what a condom is?" And a girl in the back of the room yelled, "yeah I live in one!"
dpack84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:52 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one was me actually. In college I took a writing class and the professor asked us to write an essay on euthanasia. I thought she meant "youth in Asia" and I had many questions trying to figure out exactly what topic regarding the youth in Asia she wanted us to focus on. It took far too long to figure out what each of us were talking about.
_Fiku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:39:54 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but some idiot girl in my class today asked what the fucking title of the notes we were taking. LIKE WHAT. IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF GOVERNMENT WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S ABOUT
I teach astronomy. Last week a student said this to me:
"You just told us that the moon has gravity, but I know it's a star. So are you just using an old textbook?"
I'm (barely) willing to overlook the misconception that earth is the only place where gravity exists, but "knowing" that the moon is a star... At least she doesn't suffer from low confidence.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:44 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher senior in high school. As a junior in my us history class my teacher was telling a story of how a Native American tribe member spoke to his class when he was a kid. A girl asked him what he meant by Indian. When he asked her what she meant she asked "didn't all the native American get killed?" Probably not the stupidest question but the entire class laughed at her
Im an engineering student and in a senior level physics class before the final a student asked the teacher, who is also the head of the entire engineering department, for help because he could not figure out how to calculate his final grade. The teacher just laughed and told him if he cant figure that out he doesn't belong there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:27:03 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a friend of mine in my middle school history class asked the teacher is we were ever gonna go on a trip to see the underground railroad and look at the trains.
She was a bit....special.
After having filled a white board with instructions, I left my classroom to stand in the hall as classes passed. When I returned, a "helpful" student had erased the board for me. When I expressed my frustration, another student raised their hand and asked, "Couldn't I just hit Alt restore?"
Then, when I was teaching middle school, I used to poke fun at my age by sometimes prefacing a statement with "Well back in the day of the dinosaur, we would . . .." And yes, one day as the kids were leaving one did say to a fellow, "Wasn't that cool that Mr.B could play with dinosaurs."
Im a student, but i think this would top my teacher's list. We were in Chemistry and we had to heat a compound in a crucible crazy hot. The teacher jokingly says," dont touch it." As if it needed to be said.
Girl in the class with a reputation for being incredibly stupid immediately raises her hand and asks," so wait...when do we touch it?"
The entire class groaned at just how stupid of a question it was. My teacher blanked and just stared at her like," how stupid are you, do i even need to say it?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:31 on February 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm late to the party, but this conversation happened between a student in my class and the teacher. (Not the stupidest question, but...)
I'm not a teacher, but a classmate in my 10th-grade history class asked "Was Columbus a Pilgrim?" I was asked to leave the room until I could stop laughing.
I was in high school history and had taken some cold medicine at lunch which tends to make me a little groggy/goofy. We were learning about WWII and my teacher said something about rivers and boats.
I raised my hand and asked if there was piranhas in freshwater rivers...and made a comment about unleashing them on nazi boats.
Not a teacher, but...
There was this guy in my classes during high school who'd ask absurdly stupid questions at least once a week
He once asked the maths teacher 'what the hell is a cylinder?'; he also seemed to not know anything about T-Rex's(what the hell did he do during his childhood), as he questioned "why would a T-Rex eat another dinosaur since it was a herbivour"; and seemed pretty unable to read whatever was written on the board, which was weird as fuck since he never failed to sit in the first chair.
And no, I'm pretty sure he was not high every single class for three years straight - he was the most antissocial, weird guy in the whole high school. We were never mean to him though - he was sorta like a young child we had to look after... Or that's what we put our hearts on, at least
'What is space made out of?' Note: he didn't mean stars and planets and nebula. He meant the empty space in between.
'How can plate tectonics be real if the dinosaurs were in charge of earth' Never got to the bottom of that one.
Ecology for 11-12th grade
'Are plants animals?'
'So bees are kind of like roofies for flower sex?' This led to a conversation with the health teacher about the need for a date rape lesson.
Physics for 9-12th
'Then how come bullets shot in the air never come down?'
Legit question: 'How can the same letters represent different things. Like m is mass in the force equation but then if I put it next to a number, it's a distance?' Note: meters.
If this ever gets read I might win. I was teaching about the Cold War in a tenth grade world history class and the space race between US and The Soviet Union. I explained that the Sovieta got to space first, but that the US got to the moon first. At this point a girl in my class raises her hand; I called on her and she asked, "Mister, can we break the moon?" A couple of kids laughed, but she clearly wanted an answer. I tried to be kind and said, "do you mean like can we blow up the moon? Cause if so, I mean I guess theoretically we could but it would take a lot of explosives etc." A different girl asked, "what if we just shot it a bunch of times with a gun, would it break?" The class was laughing less now as clearly a couple of them were interested. I responded, "no its way too big to just shoot with a regular gun." To which the original girl replied, "Mister, is the moon bigger than my house?" A lot of kids laughed but I was still trying to be nice, "yeah, the moon is larger than your house." A third girl (there were boys in the class but on this day it was only girls asking questions for some reason) asked, "well is it bigger than our school?" At this point you might think they were just playing, but this the 5th 6 weeks of the year, I knew these students and I can tell when they are sincere. I replied, "yes the moon is much bigger than this school." I couldn't remember the diameter of the moon off hand so I thought it might be a good teachable moment so I said, "look, let's look up how big the moon is, and I googled the diameter of the moon. I put it on the projector and said, "ok look the moon is over 2000 miles in diameter." They don't really get it yet so I pull out a glove and point and say ok so that is like from California to New York or so and everything in between all in a ball, so no, you aren't going to break the moon." At this point I was thinking, "well that was ridiculous, but we made it through and they learned something." There was like a second of quiet while all this sunk in for all of them and then, without raising her hand this time, the original question-asker (in total and complete sincerity) goes, "So mister, if we killed the moon, that would end night time though, right?" I walked out of the classroom for a second because I couldn't keep it together. If y'all like these I have more.
S1LW3R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please more
Tbjkbe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The questions that I feel are stupid are the ones that they DON'T ask. How can I know if you don't understand something if you don't ask or tell me? I had a student just recently have this happen. She has not turned in any assignments all semester simply because she did not know how to get on Google Classroom and do so. She was too embarrassed to say anything as this was a beginning high school tech class. Only when I happened to have seen all of her completed documents on her computer screen while helping her with something else did I realize the problem.
so yes....there is NO stupid question but the ones you don't ask.....unless you ask a question that is totally random in the middle of a teacher's lecture. Not stupid....but very annoying.
Educators of all fields should know that the phrase "there are no such things as stupid questions" was created to encourage students to ask questions they otherwise wouldn't out of fear of looking stupid.
These types of threads promote the idea that there is indeed stupid questions and a student can look stupid when they ask them. This phrase was invented to achieve the opposite.
Any educator who doesn't support the phrase is a hack.
You could consider that a wasteful question. It still has an answer.
Zerixkun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are stupid questions, though. And acknowledging in a reddit thread that there are, indeed, stupid questions does not mean you do not support the phrase's use in education.
And this entire thread is why I could never, ever be a teacher. I wouldn't be able to refrain from roasting idiots every time they asked a stupid question.
It's not like I'm superior, I'd deserve to get roasted too, I just wouldn't be able to hold back.
I made a comment about the amount of whale semen in the ocean... Young lady raised her hand... "is that why the ocean tastes so salty?"...
It was one of those questions so bad that that the other students in he class didn't even crack a laugh... they just looked onto her feeling really bad.
Well, I teach English as a foreign language and I had a really hard case with a 50 year-old man. By the time we were about 80 classes into his course, I popped a question at the beginning of a class:
Me: "How are you?"
Him: "No, I don't."
At this point I switched to native language.
Me: "Okay, so what was the question I asked?"
Him: "If I was well."
Me: "Not exactly. Remember, there was a question word at the beginning of the sentence, i.e. 'how'. What does it mean?"
Him: "Where?"
Me: "No."
Him: "When?"
Me: "No."
Him: "What?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Where?"
Me: "You've listed it already and no."
Him: "I really should know these by now."
Me: "Okay, let's not get carried away. 'How' means how in English."
Him: "Uh-huh."
Me: "So what does 'How are you?' stand for in English then?"
Him: "It means how am I?"
Me: "Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's iiiiiiit. Therefore it's not a yes/no question and you have to give something away about your condition and there is a very much standard reply to that question, remember? So, let me try and ask you this again and see if you can remember [back to English] 'How are you?'"
We had a first aid instructor come into a 6th grade class for some basic first aid. He was talking about how if someone is stabbed with a knife and the knife is still in them you want to leave it there to help clog up the wound and stop the bleeding. A student asked if the knife falls out should we put it back in? Still makes me laugh to this day about 10 years later.
I have a twin sister, so one day in my algebra class I got into a debate with a classmate regarding the possibility of male/female twins can be identical. Obviously, I said it's not possible to which my classmate vehemently disagreed. The discussion eventually led us to asking the teacher, who said yes it was possible for a boy and girl to be identical. Face palm.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In this day of transgender rights, anything's possible. And of course there's the famous case of the kid raised as a girl after botched circumcision, and he had an identical twin brother. But yeah, in general you'd think the genitals would give it away. That said, I've known boy/girl multiples that look very similar. And I suppose if one twin had some kind of intersex mutation develop after the two split, that could effectively result in "boy/girl" identicals.
But wouldn't both twins have to be intersex for them to be identical? The two would have to be exactly the same to be identical. And trans kids wouldn't be identical still.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Identical twins are more correctly called "monozygotic" twins. It means they began as one fertilized egg that split into two developing fetuses from the same DNA. It's why they look the same, apart from fingerprints or whatever. So you could have monozygotic twins where one is trans or where one mutates after the split, at least in theory.
panspal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:13:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman year of high school, we were discussing how matter is never created or destroyed. One girl raises her hand and says, "Wait, but like, when a girl gets pregnant, isn't she like, creating matter?"
The way i learned it is that matter can be created and destroyed, its energy that cannot be created or destroyed, only changed from one form to another.
Example: people can create matter in hadron colliders.
102bees ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing, my dude. You can turn energy into matter or matter into energy but (barring quantum bullshit) you can't create or destroy either of them.
you can turn energy into matter and matter into energy, but that is literally creating matter and destroying matter, energy cannot be created or destroyed because when you are creating matter the energy is just contained in the bonds, matter is usually considered potential energy.
it doesn't create energy its releasing energy thats stored in matter, matter is just potential energy, matter can be destroyed, energy can not be destroyed.
like ur example the sun is destroying matter, its being changed into light and heat, you cannot destroy light or heat.
But my argument is your statement goes both ways: You're not creating matter, you're releasing matter that's stored in energy. You're not destroying matter, you're changing it into energy.
The way most scientists prefer to look at it, you are destroying matter and energy, but mass-energy equivalence is preserved. That means that if right now, I changed all the matter in the universe into energy and measured the amount of energy, that is and always will be the same amount of energy that existed just after the big bang.
Yeah, I think it's called like the conservation of mass or something, where like it's possible for matter and energy to go back and worth (or at least in theory), but I didn't want to get in trouble with bad physics.
I went to a small, boring australian primary school with its fair share of idiots, and I knew about conservation of matter coming into high school, which started at year 8 (recently changed to year 7). Please explain how year 9s aren't advanced enough to be learning the exceptions to conservation of matter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:08:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, really pulling out the big guns, are we? "How come my admittedly arbitrary school teaches that a grade earlier than his school?" A more relevant question would be:
How come we start with reading comprehension in elementary, but an Australian high school graduate doesn't understand its basics, or the fact that he should capitalize the first letter of his own country?
RachelAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the USA.
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
matter and energy are basically the same thing, matter is just "stuck" energy that has mass.
I have never had a geology or a geography class. Are geography classes really that common?
JYL007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not teacher, college student. In a history class last semester when going over ancient civilization a student asked when Noah's ark fit into the timeline... teacher responded very politely... I was in shock that really happened. (Also had people ask alien questions about the pyramids but that's not really that crazy, that's just a fun conversation)
So catering to everyone who isn't from 1 specific country in the world is the same as everyone catering to a single specific country on earth to you? That's some arrogance.
i was kidding. But I've learned the european grade system so that I can understand european reddit posts. The US just numbers everything after kindergarten 1 through 12. Just add 6 to the grade and you get the approximate age. primary is 1-3, middle is 4-6, junior high is 7-8, high school is 9-12.
i've met several europeans. Think about whether they regard themselves and their cultures as much better than americans, and whether that constitutes arrogance itself. the dumb american brush is often very broadly stroked.
Thinking any culture is better than any other culture is stupid in and of itself. Sure, there's some parts of certain cultures that I don't agree with on a human rights level, but that's another story.
First grade teacher here. The stupidest question is the "what are we supposed to do?" Question immediately after I tell you what we're doing, have a student explain it, then tell you again in a different way. I GAVE YOU THE DIRECTIONS THREE TIMES PAY ATTENTION!!!
I FEEL YOU!!!! And it doesn't only happen to first graders mind you. I taught college freshmen and I expected this question every time I had to give out an exam sheet!!
Rainhall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why teachers can't get students to engage and ask questions.
Many of the questions in this thread are from students who clearly had some big gap(s) in their background knowledge, but they were clearly working with the material in their head, trying to understand it. These students put themselves out there to ask a question, to expand their understanding, and to be a slightly smarter person than they were the moment before.
Good for them. Much better than the student who knows they're confused, but won't ask because the social price they would pay is of more value to them than understanding the material better.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will get buried, and I'm not a teacher but:
Recently my sister asked me if soup went down the food gullet or the liquid gullet.
Was teaching "Paradise Lost" in a first-year literature course. One of my students asks me why there aren't any dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden. I try my best to answer the question, and tell her that since there weren't any significant fossil discoveries until the eighteenth century, John Milton won't have known about their existence, and certainly wouldn't have thought to put them in the poem. I stare at her. She stares at me.
That's when I realize that she thinks humans and dinosaurs co-existed.
Yonefi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do we have to learn history that's in the past. Why can't we learn about what's going to happen in the future?" He was serious.
imahawki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if any of these questions are intentional. I used to torture my teachers by acting dumb. My newly graduated science teacher had mistakenly disclosed that her boyfriend was a professor in the astronomy department of a local university. I deadpan asked a whole series of questions just build up to asking if he had pictures of Uranus.
dasilisk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread:
"I'm not a teacher, but...."
akjoltoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time a student asks me something along the lines of "Why do we need to know this?" I feel that they are asking a stupid question.
I've always hated the notion that there are no stupid questions.
You might argue that there are no (or very few) questions that one shouldn't ask. But that doesn't mean a lot of them won't be stupid.
If you have a brain fart of some kind, asking that stupid question can help right your train of thought and get you back on track and following the idea.
I don't think I've ever laughed at a student's question, unless it was a joke. I'm not one of those autistic professors that just stares at students when they tell a lame joke either. I give a chuckle or pity laugh like a normal non-autistic person and move on so its not awkward. But I have gotten frustrated and even angry with students questions before. Sometimes its even shown a bit. Interestingly, that was pre-tenure. Post-tenure, my patience has increased a lot.
Not a teacher but a student who was there when it happened.
It was a biology class, we were studying human reproduction. At one point, the teacher said that human sperm contained a lot of sugar. One of the student, a girl, raised her hand and asked innocently "so why does it tastes differently than sugar?". When she realized what she said, she brushed and stormed out of class crying while everyone was laughing at her. The reacher replied with a sarcastic tone "because your sugar receptors are on your tongue, not at the bottom of your throat".
I am not a teacher, but the greatest stupid question I ever heard was when I was in High School. I was on the football team and we were in the weight room lifting. My coach wanted to give the seniors who would be applying to college some SAT classes so he wrote on the blackboard in the back "SAT practice for seniors on Tuesday 3pm." One of the seniors stood in front of that blackboard for a good 10 minutes before he asked "Coach, why are we having Saturday practices on Tuesday?" To the coach's credit, he replied "Don't worry, you don't have to come."
My friend is a primary school teacher and a beautiful big gay man. During sex ed they had the 'ask it basket's where you could write embarrassing questions on a note and the teacher would answer them. At the end of the lesson he pulled out a note that said, 'why would you ever put your penis in a vagina?!?' to which he had to answer, 'i have no idea'.
No joke was asked this in ~2012. "Miss, I saw this movie about Abraham Lincoln fighting zombies. Why don't you teach us that stuff and not this boring shit?"
Bearry15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a 7th grader asked "does the world actually look like that?" Talking about a pulled down map... she thought the world was flat
verdango ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm buried here, but I had a student ask me how many years does it take to graduate from the Electoral college.
I had a student in third grade ask me uf we could be sure addition really meant addition. Not a stupid question per se, and had she been 20 it could have been a great philosophical and linguistic discussion, but at this point she was almost panicking as her inner world fell apart because we could not be certain at anything and certainly not 2 + 2 =4. I hope she reads Decartes right now.
Gramage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I just had to point out that 75% of the posts here start with "Not a teacher but". Found it mildly amusing.
Not a teacher but i had an argument with an 19 yo guy who thought that people can get energy from drinking water. At first i thought he ment that water has calories or something . Nope he tried to prove his point by saying things like "but water has energy, waves are energy, water atoms have energy so water gives you energy" he couldnt wrap his head around it.
catsan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, water IS needed in many reactions that happen, but yeah...if we wanted that directly, we'd have fusion reactors in our bellies and high-pitched helium farts and burps.
kalakoi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
It's called superfetation, it can happen in mammals and while extremely rare and sometimes misdiagnosed because of twins not developing at the same rate, there are known cases of actual superfetation in humans.
Google it, make a TIL and reap your karma. You're welcome :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:39:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not that dumb if you're a kid.
Houseton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If another egg is released and there is sperm to fertilize why not?
Not a teacher, but I was present in the history class when this came up. We were discussing Greek mythology, and how Athena was said to be born out of Zeus's head. A girl in class asked, without a hint of irony, "Does that mean boys can have babies through tumors in their heads?"
Mac2663 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school we watched the older Scarlet Letter movie. After it we had to draw a picture of our favorite scene. A girl legit asked if color existed back then because the movie was black and white.
It was another student in my junior year chemistry class. We were organizing elements by metal and non-metal as an ice breaker game and she goes "wait, is lead a metal?"
Very ernestly stated, "Will you go out with me to the new Capitan America movie?".
That one. That one was a stupid question. Kiddo got a raised eyebrow from me and awkward stares from the rest of the class, but really, I wanted to ask if I looked like a pedo to him or something.
nouji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a grad student I was TAing a molecular biology lab class for senior biology majors at a top university. Part of that day's protocol called for leaving the test tubes with reagents in them at room temperature for 30 minutes. One student raises their hand and with all seriousness asks, "can I just put my test tubes on ice since the ice bucket is sitting at room temperature?" I guess there are no stupid questions, only stupid people!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but yesterday a law student, when given a piece of colored paper as a cover sheet, asked the professor how to print on the colored paper. The professor asked if he could not load paper into a printer. The pupil was incredibly confused and couldnt grasp this concept at 25+ years old.
xthek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, not a teacher, but the most popular girl in school asking "Did we win the Civil War?" was too good not to mention.
I had a 13 year old boy ask me if the movie 'independence day', you know the Will Smith aliens attacking movie, was based on a true story. I had such a hard time not laughing at that question!
I'm not a teacher but another student in my calculus class asked was hesitant on asking a question, the teacher told him there are no stupid questions. The student goes on to ask why we can just switch the variable of integration, (which is known as a dummy variable). This was an advanced class, so the student should have known this, and the teacher responds by saying "That isn't a stupid question, but it is a dummy question."
wtt90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher - was in the class. Middle schooler - has anyone ever collected plasma from the sun? Same kid - what day of the week is Easter Sunday this year? (It is a Catholic School).
Edit: dude is super cool though. Just a couple of airhead moments.
Not a teacher, but there's a kid in my class who just doesn't know anything. He's a living stereotype of a sports jock, and it's hilarious. One day we all took a strengthfinder test and he asked, "does this one say communism?" It was communication.
Edit: a word
Dooglers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last year in college I took an into level advertising class that I mistakenly thought would be interesting. The teacher taught and tested with exact bullet points. For example, a question on a test might be what are the traits of someone who is creative. There would be 5 specific adjectives you would need to list. One of them was visionary. So when he is teaching this a kid raises his hand and says, "Does that mean blind people can't be creative?"
In my freshman history class, a girl interrupted the teacher who was preparing to hand out an exam to ask "Which is closer, Florida or the moon?" When the teacher said "Florida, of course." She proceeded to argue for 10 minutes, trying to figure out how Florida was closer, even though you could see the moon.
BoredMai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, I was the one asking the question.
I asked what was the difference between vinegar and vinaigrette. I honestly had no idea what vinaigrette was exactly, I've never been a salad person (trying to change that because of health, now).
That isn't based on ignorance of simple concepts such as time, direction, size, et cetera. It's based on you never having had a vinaigrette. Totally understandable :)
I like balsamic vinaigrette best.
BoredMai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was still a fairly stupid question. XD
As for stupid stupid, a classmate - 17 years old at the time - asked why A-(-B) becomes A+B. Last year of high school.
"Do we have to do both sides?" Right after I just finished explaining that they only needed to do side 1.
"Do we have to do both sides?" Right after I just finished explaining that they only needed to do side 1 AND wrote that on the board.
"Do we have to do both sides?" Five minutes after I explained that they only needed to do side 1, AND wrote it on the board, AND told them if they asked me if they needed to do both sides, I would say "yes." Haven't followed through on that last part yet-I just stare at them with an arched eyebrow until a classmate takes pity on them and tells them the answer.
Xiphias_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but I have a whiteboard that's partly a smart-board and partly a normal whiteboard. I had written an important mathematical formula on the whiteboard part to the right and I was currently using geogebra program on the smart-board/projector part. I was referring to the formula with the mouse cursor, but it was ofc limited to the smart-board part so I moved it as close to the edge as I could.
Then a hand went up. "Is it possible for the mouse cursor to move all the way over to the formula?". I tried to keep a strait face and very factually say "No, that is not possible" while the whole class was face-palming.
Gr1pp717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a classmate in intro to engineering who would prompt the entire class to audibly sigh every time he raised his hand. We would have guest speakers from various professions, and he would always have a plethora of completely off topic, asinine questions. Like, asking an electrical engineer how to start an insurance company...
No clue how, but he graduated.
Pingly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College Algebra: Do you get a different answer if you do "x * y" rather than "y * x"?
Nettius2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:53 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This depends on the operation "*".
I suppose it wouldn't matter if you were doing Commutative College Algebra.
I've got one from the perspective of a former student.
It was Brian the smart kid in the class. He asked the teacher if he could have a pen because he'd lost his. The teacher told Brian to come to the front of the class and have a look around, and put his hands on Brians shoulders and made him face the class and do a 360. The pen was behind Brians ear. The kids laughed and Brian didn't ask questions anymore.
I was a tutor to kids in high school, so not really a teacher. I was working with this girl who's class was working on exponents for about a week of two. She looks me dead in the face and asks "how is nine a perfect square when a square only has four sides". I started laughing.... she was serious
I guess it's not really that stupid considering how ignorant many Americans try to keep kids about sex but a 8th grader asked "If you swallow cum, do you get pregnant"?
Pretty sure I read a news article once where a woman did get pregnant from swallowing semen because she had some stab wounds and the semen was able to reach her reproductive parts. What they did not answer was why she was sucking dick when she still had open stab wounds.
I once had a student who was bright but also a bit strange and spacey. He would ask silly questions almost daily, and honestly I would look forward to them because I usually needed a good laugh. Anyway here were the two best that I still remember:
"Does that guy have laser eyes?" I had no idea who or what he was talking about, as there was no reference point for "that guy" and the "laser eyes" made me think he was talking about a superhero. Superman? Cyclops? Ironman? No, it turned out he was referring to my direct supervisor who had had laser eye surgery. I had to explain that they weren't the same thing.
"Can animals become Asian?" Yeah, still never figured out what he meant by that one.
7th grade Language Arts, I'm teaching a unit on poetry. After a week of reading poems, listening to poems, talking about poems and learning about poets, a kid in the front row (who has been there for all the ~5 classes we'd had on poetry so far) raises his hand in the middle of my lecture and asks, Ms. [myname], what's a poem?"
About a month ago I was making up a quiz in a Biology class and the teacher was teaching a standard class (since I'm honors were ahead of them so the stuff she was teaching wasn't on my quiz) and they were talking about genetics and genes being passed down.
A kid asked who you get your DNA from if youre adopted...
My sister in law told me about a time she was teaching her 1st graders about arctic animals, and one of her students asked "is a pencil an African animal?"
Vested1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but there was a girls I knew when I was in college we were both and Ed majors. In an intro health class this girls raises her hand to ask if it was true that a girl couldn't get pregnant if she was on top. (Her concentration was biology) I happened upon her Facebook profile she is now a high school biology teacher. (This has caused a great internal crisis)
AP Physics, a student asks what happens if the metal latch of a seatbelt catches fire.
Searre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a college freshman: What is alphabetical order?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but some kid in my high school chem class asked if "vagina juice" was acidic or alkaline. The teacher turned red and sent him out of class.
MWL987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not my story, but one told to me by a Yale prof about a student who was really confused about the law of identity: A is A. The student was apparently just not understanding it, even though the professor was explaining it very plainly, even resorting to using props from his desk. After maybe 10 minutes, it finally clicked, and she understood. She then said, "okay, I think I got it. But, what about 'B is B'???"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher... or a question but someone in one of my classes when I was younger claimed the Earth was only 17 years old -- even after admitting her mom was much older than that.
Santihu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"if you take squared root from 0 is it plus or minus 0?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my 11th grade chemistry class a student asked if aluminum was a gas because its with all the gasses on the periodic table. This was halfway through the year.
Teaching a group of Music Tech students, we're going to mic up an electric guitar setup. I say - "where does the sound of an electric guitar usually come out of?" (bear in mind there's a guitar plugged into a Marshall Stack quite literally in FRONT of them). A class of around eight, and they gave these sorts of answers:
"The guitar?"
"The player?"
"The studio!"
"The monitors?"
"The strings."
"The microphone."
"The guitarists hands?"
It was fun to see what answer they were going to come up with next. Nobody said "the amp".
I teach programming courses for my university. All my students are in computer science, engineering, or applied mathematics. Had someone ask me what the cross between the numbers meant. Like in "2 + 6". In a college level course.
Not a teacher, but 5th grade sex Ed. Kid next to me raises his hand and goes, "Do you pee yellow because you've been eating mustard???" I still remember that moment 12 years later
I'm bending the rules pretty far here, but I'm an IT guy, and started a government job the same time as another IT guy.
After working the job for 5 or 6 months, the guy I work with asked me, "Hey, how do you do that thing where you google something?"
Ts4EVER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
History teacher from Germany here: not a question, but a test answer. The question was: "Would you say the French revolution was for nothing?"
The eighth grade student answered:
"No I don't think so, because now French students have Bastille day off and otherwise we wouldn't have stuff to talk about in history class. Sure, some people died, but they would have died some time anyway."
Fogge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not lesson related, but we were going on a school trip to Auschwitz, and a student asked if there was Wi-Fi there.
Went to school with a girl who asked and I quote, "how do rocks reproduce?"
We were having a conversation in the elective Bible class about LIVING things being told to reproduce in Genesis.
She was being serious...
...my boyfriend is a software engineer. He is not stupid, but sometimes he lives in a special world all his own. When we first met he didn't know ducks could fly. He was 28. I was like "we are in a migratory bird sanctuary. How would ducks migrate if they couldn't fly?"
He's actually much more outdoorsy than me but he grew up in the suburbs and I grew up in a place that was developing from woods and farmland into suburb, so I guess... I saw more ducks? IDEK.
I was a TA in college for Intro to Computer Science. I gave a lab. Gave an hour and a half for the lab. So I get a few questions throughout, provide hints, provide any help I can. At the end of the lab, maybe 5 minutes remain, a few of my....poorer students come up to me and form a line. They bombard me with very simple questions which I answer, and finally the student at the front of the line goes "Well can you just give us the answer?".
We were watching Band of Brothers during a Holocaust unit in Honors English, 10th grade, the scene where they liberate the concentration camp. They're running through the dialogue where all the GI's are being told that the captives are Jewish, and this one girl in the class asks "Is this All Quiet on the Western Front?" We had finished reading that book a month previous... And she was Jewish.
Adelphe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher... but overheard this in an adjoining classroom in highschool....
Fiancรฉe is a high school English teacher. Honors student: "Miss, what's a daft-er?"
"...do you mean daughter?"
She also had a kid insist that "I" only needed to be capitalized at the beginning of a sentence. His paper had lowercase i all over the place. He had intentionally reversed all of MS Word's autocorrects to capitalize it.
In my 8th grade world history class, we were watching a documentary about the Aztecs and the Mayans. They were staging a ceremony and the movie had effects over it to make it look 'old'. One girl, who was known for being kind of a dingbat, interrupted with "wait... is this real footage?!". It was dead silent for a good couple seconds then everyone burst out laughing, including the teacher. She didn't get the joke :/
fro0ot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my classmate once asked our history teacher if WW2 was a true story or not
whorfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, heard from my 3-year college roommate:
A Park Ranger: "At what elevation do the deer turn into elk?"
......
My personal favorite: a person approached me on trail, reached into their pocket, and asked, "Is this bear scat." Flabergated I nodded yes. Before I say anything, that visitor was so happy they put the scat back in their pocket and ran back up trail to the rest of their group.
Not a teacher. In my freshman year of high school we were going over the Holocaust in social studies class. One student who was particularly good at asking bad questions asked:
"Can't you by genocide at a hardware store?" he apparently confused it with pesticide.
basquenv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid, because kids don't quite make the connection sometimes. Every year, in every chemistry class I teach, I get the question "do we dissect animals in here"? I always respond in the affirmative, and without doubt, that student drops, and transfers to anatomy and physiology.
I was an English teacher in Thailand for a while and one of my colleagues used to do a quiz show type thing as his introductory lesson. He would give the kids a bunch of things they had to find out about him and they'd have to ask him questions to figure it out. Kind of a fun way to gauge ability and get acquainted with them and stuff. Anyway, a seventeen year old boy once asked him whether he was Japanese, then angrily repeated the question in Japanese (another language they learned at that school) when the guy laughed at him. He was six foot four and ginger.
jswens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A middle school teacher I know got asked who won the revolutionary war. They asked the student what country he lived in, but the best the kid could do was name the state.
Teaching AP Us History. We're going over the Underground Railroad and I show a map with a bunch of the routes taken to Canada including a couple that go by way of the Atlantic Ocean. Girl raises her hand and asks how the railroad went underwater.
I was confused when I first learned about it (they touched on it in all grades, so I first heard of it on kindergarten at the age of 6) I realized how ridiculous it was to think it was an actual railroad when we learned it in depth in middle school (age 13)
Not a teacher. My my science teacher once said that when he was teaching astrology that a kid looked into a telescope and asked if he could see the Earth form there. And he was completely serious.
Mawbey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher but. A girl in my Religious Studies class didn't realise Las Vagas was a real place, she thought it was just in films. We were probably 14-15 at the time.
We were talking about how the coding for MP3 uses the physiological properties of human hearing and the human ear canal to get that kind of compression.
i agree. After reading the above, I'd wonder if MP3's might have garbage in the high and low frequencies or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While in grade school and learning about sex ed, our teacher had a box in the classroom that we could write down a question that we were too embarrassed to ask.
Having absolutely no friends and being bullied on a daily basis, I thought I had my way into the cool crowd. I would ask a question so funny, everyone would want to be my friend because of how funny and cool I was. I didn't write my name, but I wrote a special symbol on the paper to prove it was me who wrote it, because the weird quiet kid in class could never come up with something so funny at witty.
I wrote down "What does humping mean?" and put it in the box.
Next day teacher opens box and looks at the question, reads it out loud, and nobody laughs. Crickets. Fellow students even said something along the lines of, what kind of idiot wrote that" and everyone was wondering who was dumb enough to ask that. The teacher says that this is something you should ask your parents, while the teacher was maintaining eye contact with me.
Everyone laughed, but at my stupidity while I recessed into the corner of the classroom.
"What year did things become colour?"
"What?"
"Like on the TV everything was black and white and that"
"......"
ncart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade sex ed/biology. Teacher asked of anyone had any questions about things not covered in class. Girl raises her hand and asks if gay men have "feel good parts in their butt"
Had a student start a whole debate in class by going "why doesn't everybody work, and everybody gets paid the same" and I let it go for a while before I was like "you've just basically debated communism guys."
ianslays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my Econ class in high school we were learning about CDs (Certificate of Deposits)
Teacher: So you can't take it out early or else there is a penalty.
Kid: Really? Not even if you hit the eject button?
Class goes silent and then in the back a kid yells
"It's not a literal CD" This dude thought it was a disc
This was in an Advanced History classes, an optional class which is usually supposed to be taken by those who already have a sound knowledge of modern history.
We were discussing Obamacare and it's pros/cons. I mention my brother has Crohns disease so it helped him out with the lack of preconditions. Kid raises his hand and asks if I'm dumber than my brother...because we all know how relevant that is to Obamacare...
Another good one was when a freshman in high school asked me what order the months went in. He didn't know when his birthday was going to be because he didn't know which month went after which.
shatters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While his classmates were getting lunch cards and lining up at the door to walk to lunch, at the same time of day we always leave to eat, I get asked by a 6 year old
"We going to lunch?"
VT2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher but knew stupid people" - We had a kid in our major that was known to ask dumb questions or make dumb statements on the regular.
One day in fluid dynamics we were talking about how water accelerates as it goes around a bend in pipe. The tighter the bend, the faster the water will accelerate. In the proof we would say that the acceleration goes to infinity as that turn radius of the pipe gets smaller. Kid raises his hand and proclaims "That's not possible". The teacher looks all confused and asks what he means by that, we just proved it. The kid says "That isn't possible because nothing can go faster than the speed of light." The whole theory behind it and proof just kind of went over his head and he was so fixated on the whole "infinity is faster than the speed of light" thing. He would do this type of thing daily if not multiple times a day.
I sort of understand the question if you think of the entire number of nations that fought in the war, but when thinking about Germany vs England, surely it's obvious...
'so what what do you want me to do? ' after I've explained the prompt, provided a handout with detailed instructions and prompt, and shared and broken down examples w the class.
Note I'm a writing teacher, so there's a certain level of everything stdnts to develop their own ideas, write their own arguments. Sometimes you get that I've student who just expects they're teacher to tell them exactly what to and how to write. And that's the stupidest situation I get every now and then. (โฏยฐโกยฐ๏ผโฏ๏ธต โปโโป
We've been big on inquiry learning in our board, well the province really, for a number of years. As we were transitioning, I realized my students were not strong in asking questions. I spent a lot of time in that realm: what is a good question, what's the difference between an open and closed question, etc.
Had a provocation about tidal waves/tsunamis. Around the circle we went, me recording all the questions as the students asked them.
I had to pause when I got "Why big are waves."
Scoutnjw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Are black people full of the same stuff as white people?'
English teacher. UK exams include 'unseen poetry' (as in, a poem you won't have studied beforehand). Q: How can I write about it if I can't see it?
Hijis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher.
In 11th grade a girl in my history class asked in surprise "Wait, West Virginia is a state?" Note, we went to school in Virginia; you'd think she'd know the states next to hers.
"How do you know the Titanic wasn't just a movie?"
This was a college student at an elite university who legit didn't know the movie "Titanic" was based on a real event and did not want to believe otherwise. I died a little inside that day as, I think, did the rest of my students.
Felzlek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll speak for my teacher here. In 7th grade health class another student prefaced their question with "this is probably a stupid question." The teacher told us all that there are no stupid questions and I immediately raised my hand and asked "what color cows do peanut M&Ms come from?" He told me that was a very stupid question.
Probably gonna get buried, but this is funny. Not me, but my Step-Mother used to teach English, but one day she was lecturing but the map of the United States was rolled down for the class to see. At somepoint through her lecture, she started pointing out location on the map when a SIXTEEN-year old girl asked her this: Why is Alaska so cold and Hawaii so hot when they are right next to each other. My step-mom's reaction was one of confusion before asking her what she meant by "close together".
The girl then said that they were bordering each other on the map. Technically speaking, they were, but that's because it was a map of just the USA and showed each state and to show Alaska and Hawaii, they were in their own zoomed in bracket on the bottom left of the map and thats where the Highschool sophmore thought the two states were.
8th Grade girls basketball game. Assistant coach points out to player on the bench that a player from the other team has an artificial leg from the knee down. Player on the bench contemplates this for a moment and then asks "is her foot real?".
Okay so clearly not a teacher butttt i have an answer to this question thats just... so sad.
In High School english class we were reading the canterbury tales, and there was one poem that was talking about sex or something to do with it and this girl shouts out
"Did they have sex in the middle ages?"
My english teacher without missing a beat said "No we all came from test tubes" and then continues with her lesson.
Not a teacher but I swear a fellow student asked this in tenth grade. Mind you some of her other questions were things like, "What are crops?" And, "Greece, that's in Asia right?" So she wasn't the brightest bulb.
This girl actually asked one day,"Mr. Insertteacher'snamehere, if they knew the conditions were so bad why did the slaves volunteer?"
Stunned silence followed that one for a solid ten seconds before he started in on the answer...
While watching an old movie, one kid asked me, "Was there was really no color back then?" I don't think he meant was there really no color in movies. I think he was asking me whether there was really no color in the world.
A few months ago a fellow student in my class asked the teacher what male and female meant when filling out a form.
He was 15
skankboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll flip this. I was in seventh grade and the teacher asked the class if anyone knew why certain audio plugs are labeled male / female. She didn't know.
My favourite is when 5 minutes before the deadline a student asks you to look over their assignment. I tell them that I can't mark it in front of them and the only comments I can make is if they missed a section of the report. Then when they don't get perfect they ask why I took if marks when I said it was good. I have to tell them every week that all I can do before the deadline, unless they have a specific question, is to point out major mistakes and that by our university's definition their 70 is a "good" mark. For reference, 80-85 is meeting all the requirements, higher means going beyond what was expected.
ITT: questions that result more from a lack of education than a lack of intelligence
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sitting on the john in the restroom of a Japanese middle school I used to work at, and my spidey sense starts tingling. I look up and barely manage to stifle a shriek as I find one of my students staring down at me from over the top of the stall (I could only see his head).
While my mind's busy processing the absurdity of the situation, little bugger says to me "Can we shit together?"
I'm not the teacher, but in my 3rd grade sex Ed class we had a question box. There were a lot of stupid questions in that box, but the one that sticks out to this day was " if I cut of my dick will it grow back". The entire class broke out laughing, the teacher had no idea what to say.
Obligatory not a teacher but: In an Icelandic class when I was 18 we had a girl who just couldn't get her head around the concept of a amniotic sac because "Then how does the baby breathe in the mother's stomach?!"
Also one time someone walked over to me, pointed at the 7 on a centimeter ruler they were holding and asked me if that was 7 cm.
Freshman year honors Chem, my friend randomly asks, "Is the moon a liquid?"
This kid is very smart and undoubtably going to go to a good college. We were all very confused.
The teacher still laughs about it to this day. Our friend group roasts him about it constantly.
HiperEg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm too late for this thread, but here we go.
Not a teacher, but a student at the time. I was in a class full of 14 and 15 years old and we were having science class.
The teacher was accepting questions of the most varied subjects and answering quick, but seriously.
There were many questions about the human body, nature, but a remarkable one was a girl who asked: "If the moon is so close to the sun, why doesn't the sun melts it?"
There was a brief silence for a good 2 seconds and then the whole class laughed furiously. The teacher kept serious and made the class silent again. She answered the question, but you could see the disappointment in her face.
I still feel sorry for both the girl and teacher until today.
Classmate rather than professor, but something that really stuck in my head.
We're in a fairly advanced Hispanic Studies class at a prestigious university. We've spent the past couple weeks talking about the drug trade, cartels, and how much of the economy in Latin America it comprises. We just watched "Maria llena de gracia" when one girl raises her hand and says "But (long pause) aren't narcotics illegal?"
Not a teacher but in my senior year of high school we were reading a book as a class. One part of the book said it was 6AM and another student asked if AM was morning or night.
Not a teacher, but I grew up in West Virginia and one time my science teacher asked me a question, I forget the content of the question but there were two answers to choose from "a or b." It was the second one, so I said "the latter." The rednecks in the back of the room started cackling and said "this kid's so dumb, what do ladders have to do with science."
Not a teacher, but tutoring my 13 year old brother on cellular respiration where one of his review questions was "Which form of respiration produces more ATP and is more efficient?" I proceed to ask him how much ATP is produced at the end of aerobic respiration and he answers with 36-38. I then ask him how much ATP is produced at the end of anaerobic respiration and he answers 2. So I then ask him ok so... which one is better and produces more ATP? and he's like.... Anaerobic? and I'm like.. in what world is 2 greater than 38? facepalm
Fellow student in 9th grade biology class, totally out of the blue: "What are rocks?"
Doneyhew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student but once my professor said "There are 32 billion people in the world (wrong), and if one person has 32 billion dollars then there is no reason everybody shouldn't be able to have a million dollars a piece" I wanted to challenge what she just said but I was simply dumbfounded hat a pressor could say that
I'm not a teacher, but I was taking a tour of Thomas Jeffersons house a few years back and this young teen asked where Thomas parked all of his cars. The whole tour went silent and the goofy ass dad just stood there not saying anything. The tour guide just laughed it off. I wasn't laughing. That's scary.
I was covering tutor time and the girls had all be taken out for an assembly. It was a last minute thing and no-one seemed to know why. The boys left behind in class suggested it was about breast cancer.
I suggested that would be unfair, seeing as men can get breast cancer and ought to be told what to look for to.
One of my students then asked me if women could get testicular cancer.
When I was an aide at an elementary school, I had a 3rd grade student ask me "When you go to college, what class do you have to take to get a husband?"
Not a teacher.
In an AP US history class, the teacher was having us list off the states on the first day, because reasons. It comes around to a female classmate, who proceeded to ask if Pittsburgh was a state.
Srboyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I once witnessed a classmate complain about an essay she had in another course that required her to write about a war/conflict between a developed and developing country. She didn't want to use the US ("too obvious") so she asked our professor if England was a first world country. Our BRITISH LITERATURE professor.
I've never seen such an utterly defeated look from a teacher, before or since.
Tmckeone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I have heard some pretty dumb questions. In my 9th grade history class there was a project where some of the class would get to Skype with students from Australia. After the teacher told us about the project, one of my classmates asked "what language do Australians speak" and the whole class died laughing at him.
A high school student overheard that a white American teacher at our school and his wife had Chinese babies. He asked, "Wait. Can two regular people have Chinese babies?"
I explained that they adopted the babies, and that Chinese people have Chinese babies.
I was confused by his use of regular people, he grew up in a diverse neighborhood surrounded by Latino, Polish, Albanian, Russian, and Black kids. I guess regular people are ethnic groups he has already met.
In 7th grade we had an assembly regarding skin cancer and UV radiation damage. The presenters had just finished talking about melanoma as a kid raised his hand and asked, "If you leave nevermelting ice (a hold item from Pokemon) out in the sun too long, can it get melanoma too?"
Teaching Computers 101 (adjunct at state college), explaining what's expected in midterm project, talking for 10 minutes about it. Three girls in the corner are talking to each other the entire time, until I finish the explanation and one asks, "There's a midterm?"
"No, this is all just hypothetical." I then had to walk that back because I'm sure the whole class would have taken me seriously.
The look on some of their faces when I told them I was a strong proponent for the "Stupid Answers for Stupid Questions" campaign was priceless.
eneah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a nursing home and we get students that come in and do their apprenticeship. I'm a psw. I take care of the elderly and even some young people.
They pair me up with a student. He and I go into a room and start to perform care on our residents. Suddenly.. he asks.. "how do I take this residents shirt off?"
It caught me by surprise. I get asked a lot of questions. Some would even say they're stupid questions. But if they don't know, is it really considered stupid? I told him to just take the residents shirt off as tho he was taking off his own.
In a class I was discussing that my favorite bird is a penguin. A classmate of mine sitting nearby said, with confidence "penguins aren't birds, I though it was a mammal". I felt like and asshole but my friend and I were hysterically laughing for a few minutes.
Obviously he wasn't familiar with penguins, but unless you go to a prestigious zooology school, I wouldn't say that's near bordering on stupidest thing ever said
I teach in a coastal city. You can literally see the ocean from our classroom. We were discussing sea level, and I was giving examples like the rockies where the base of the mountain is at 9k and the peak is at 14k vs a mountain in NH where the base is at 1k and the peak is at 5k and how that impacts the climate and conditions. One of my students raised their hand and asks, "how far above sea level are we? 5k? 10k?"
The whole class turns around and stares out the window at the ocean.....
Just started teaching in Norway, mainly 8 - 10th grade. In english class a student was shocked that we would still teach them english now that Trump was president. My search for logic in that statement made me question the very fabric of excistence.
We were watching the Macy's day parade my coworker asked when would the Thanksgiving parades from the rest of the world would be broadcast.
gifpol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently participated in an orientation program at my local community college to get my GED. This orientation was just about the GED class and was mostly FAQ stuff, but at the end they had us do a little "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader" activity. They split us into groups and told us to put our heads together to figure out the answers, and try to get the most right as a group. This is what the questions looked like. When we got the sheet I just started filling it out and I figured everyone else would too, but I realized they were all watching what I was doing. They all ended up copying off my answers. There were four other people in my group between the ages of 18 and 60. Some of my favorite questions that none of these folks could fathom the answer to were "in which country could you find the pyramids?", "what state in the United States is spelled in four letters? (There are three)", "where would you go to see the Eiffel Tower?", and my favorite, "where is your funny bone located?".
Not a teacher but In medical school, apparently a classmate asked what the route of administration was for marijuana.
newkyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but another student asked me how to spell "cuz". I told him it's not a word and he means "because" but he had no idea what I was talking about.
Keskekun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"what is all that empty space on the map" I get that most people learn that water is supposed to be blue but I would think that even in black and white a 15 year old should be able to understand the concept.
This isn't exactly a stupid question but more a stupid misunderstanding. I instructed my 4th graders to write a response to a passage we had just finished reading. Because this is a weakness of this class, I was really stressing that they needed to write in complete sentences. One boy raised his hand and asked, "What did you just say?"
I repeated myself and said, "I said you HAVE to write in complete sentences. You need at least three to four complete sentences."
Ten minutes later he hands in his paper. He had written the phrase "Incomplete sentences" four times. There was also no punctuation.
Lesson on global warming.. Student looking confused puts her hand up.. Is the greenhouse effect to do with all the greenhouses people have..
Ok, you may think.. i started to get an answer out.... before 2 words had passed my lips another kid shot his hand up and blurted out "does that included conservatories too?"
Not a question, but same kid different lesson on how certain non-native species have wiped out indigenous populations. I was talking about how some come from different countries accidentally stowed-away on boats.. I spot this student looking confused... puzzled look, head cocked to the side, the whole deal... it was easy to twig what she was thinking...
No Abi, the animals didn't build sail the ships themselves.... "oooohhhh riiiiiight" as a contented 'well thats that conundrum solved' look crosses her face....
I knew a kid who once asked "Can anything live on the sun?". I wouldn't have minded if we were in like elementary or something. But no, this guy is going to high school in a couple of months.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My history teacher told us that a girl in summer school once asked him "what do asian people look like" ans she was sitting next to two chinese girls.
tking32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 7th grade health class a girl asked the teacher what is a door?
Everyone started laughing and she was confused as to why. After a few seconds she realized what she had just asked.
Not a teacher, but my younger brother, while otherwise a good student, is terrible at geography. One morning he asked me if Chicago was a state. We live in Ohio, two states from Illinois. He was 16 at the time.
Also as bonus, later that same morning I was taking an AP test and the sample question was:
Chicago is a _______.
A. City
B. Village
C. State
D. County
Almost got kicked out cuz I couldn't stop laughing.
We were talking about incest taboo in a sociology course and a student asks, after an hour of lecture, "What's the incest tattoo!? And he was genuinely serious. His good looks went out the window that day.
Not a teacher, but I once had a (to be fair, introductory) class in electronics. The teacher passed around some wires to examine. One girl raised her hand and asked where was the hole in the middle of the wires the electricity passed through.
96385 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During sex ed class:
Girl 1: So a girl is like this (draws microscopic circle on paper).
Girl 2: So how does a guy (draws largest phallus that can conceivably fit on paper) fit in there (points to tiny spec)?
I teach 10-12 y.o.
They'll pretty consistently ask questions such as... "Mr. Pooty_Taynk, what would you do if I..."
And 99.99% it's something outrageous that they know is outrageous. So then I respond with a ridiculous response.
We were reading a poem that mentioned a Ferris wheel. The student perceptively noticed that Ferris was capitalized.
S: Why is Ferris capitalized?
Me: it's capitalized because Ferris wheels are named after the person who invented them.
S: oh... so Wheel was his last name?
Me: no, Ferris was his last name; wheel is--
S: Wheel was his first name?
Me: ...no.
My freshman college math teacher once said at the beginning of a semester that no answer is wrong, just incorrectly worked. So not exactly a question, but a stupid answer.
Teacher is talking about a single digit increase. She says "if I go from $6 an hour to $13 an hour, how much did I gain per hour?"
And I swear to god, the kid next to me without missing a beat loudly and confidently says "TWELVE"
Welcome to college.
rhinodad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I want to relate the dumbest question I ever heard in class.
To get to 4th year Spanish class you had to take Spanish years 1-3 (obviously), and those classes didn't just include learning the language, but also the countries that spoke Spanish and some details about them. That year, we had a foreign exchange student helping out in Spanish Level 4 (he was sort of acting as a teacher's assistant). We had a day where we just asked him questions about Spain.
This girl in the class raises her hand and asks, with all seriousness: "Spain... is that near China?"
Four years of Spanish. Required world history and geography classes. The room was dead silent... we were all in shock.
The exchange student just stares at her for a good 1-2 minutes. Flatly says "No."
The class just lost it. The teacher was trying to get everyone under control and this girl still had no idea why everyone was laughing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At what temperature does the number blue produce a smell?
Rbotguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
261.6 Hz.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I occasionally teach English to people as a second language. One of my students didn't get that syntax is different in their language to English. As I was trying to explain they ask "doesn't this confuse [English] kids?". "In what way?", "that it's different from normal language". I had to explain native English speakers would have no frame of reference to get confused by. It's like she thought everyone was born understanding and speaking her language, then learn English.
1) My philosophy is if a person is trying to learn, there is no stupid question.
2) This was a classmate in a high school biology class asking the teacher why sperm tasted so nasty.
For context: very backwoods school, the student was male, and the student realize what he incidentally informed the class until after the class and the teacher busted out laughing.
0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a girl ask me to define the difference between a lake and river. I said something like, "A lake is a large standing body of water, a river is flowing."
"...so, like, would a bathtub be a lake?"
mpchebe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12th grade student: "What is the earth?"
After an explanation, the followup was: "Is it round? Can I jump on it?"
cidscv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my friend had some really dumb questions in geography. For example isn't Canada part of the us, isnt Toronto the capital of Canada (lived here his whole life) also another friend asked who won ww2 in history
ZeDitto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dude in my senior year 9/11 class asked "So when people jumped off the world trade centers, did they like, ya know, try to take their shirts off and use it as a parachute?"
I mean, I'm sure that some did. But I'm sure that they knew it was a futile effort unlike this student.
ZeDitto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The class was called "9/11 to now". It was supposed to focus on U.S. history from 2001 to the current day but it was mostly about the causes of Islamic Terror which stretch back to WWI.
In middle school I learned that Horhey was Spanish for Jorge. So When We had an answer on a test that was "George Washington," I raised my hand and asked "would Horhey Washington be correct as well?" I did it twice. Tried to be funny. Was so stupid...
I teach at a math learning center and I once had a kid tell me that to find the area of a circle you have to do base times height. I asked him to show me the base of the circle and it took him awhile to realize there wasn't one.
My then 5 year old daughter came into our bedroom at 6 o'clock after going to the bathroom, woke me up (not her mother), and asked "Will it wake you up if I flush the toilet?"
My answer? "Not now."
aaeko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I will never forget this question asked by a girl in biology class during sex-ed. "If sperm is made up mostly of sugars then why does it taste so salty?"
zutari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a student ask me what I did for a living..
Once I read the myth of Narcissus with the class and when I got to the end I asked: So what do you guys can take from this? A girl sitting in the front, turned to me: Oh, that they killed a lot of people, because this was what they did in germany, right? narz...ism?
I'm talking about sophomore students here guys. No joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I have been asked
"Does the sun block out the moon in the day-time"
And
"Where does sperm come from?"
Both from a 16 year old
Versaiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my 10 grade biology class this girl sitting next to me raised her hand and asked "if you leave corn on the cob outside long enough does it turn into popcorn?" I couldn't help but laugh.
Not a teacher but a girl in Primary school told me there are no black birds here while if you watched out of the window there were black birds. I had a inner face-palm moment thinking about what she was saying and gave up trying to make her understand that there is indeed black birds.
Not a teacher, but when i was in my sophomore year of high school in English class a girl asked me spell orange. After a giving her the swaggy p look, i proceeded to spell the word and she told me "not the fruit but the color".
Not a teacher and wasn't asked this but this one is too good for me to not tell about.
The anatomy classes at my school one day we watching a live feed of a knee replacement surgery. The live feed was being watched by another school full of middle schoolers. Throughout the surgery we were allowed to ask the surgeon questions about the procedure. At the end of the presentation, as the surgeon was suturing the knee, the schools were asked if they had any more questions. One of the middle schoolers asked the surgeon what body part he was operating on, at the end of an hour long live feed that was being commentated on by the medical professionals.
Needless to say they laughed the question off and finished up. I can hardly imagine the embarrassment that kid must have suffered.
I had a teacher introduce himself to us by saying that there are things such as stupid questions and if anyone asked one he wouldn't answer it. That then prevented my from asking any questions at all, because I was afraid any question would be a stupid one.
When I was doing my Bachelor's degree, in the first semester we had a recap about resistors and inductors. The staff asked if current flowed slow in any one of them and why as well.
One of classmates had answered saying that, the inductor would have the current flowing slowly. His reasoning was that, the way an inductor is drawn in a circuit diagram, the current would have hard time travelling through all the loops as compared to the resistor which just had its ups and downs.
econjen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student during a college midterm ask if Michigan was in the United States. In college. An american student. I then learned that many native Californians have no sense of US geography east of California.
We were talking about types of addiction, like alcoholism or marijuana and which consequences they have for the human body and the society. One of the aftermaths for some addictions is loss of concentration. So one student had the idea, to send those people to 'concentration camps', since they can be treated there... That's one of the moments, where you think by yourself: HOLD ON, hooold on, slowly. What. the. fuck?
It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?
I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.
I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.
So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:
Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.
Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice
Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.
Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.
Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.
Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)
Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.
Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.
Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin
Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.
Not a teacher but a fellow student in a respectable high school asked the teacher:
is the devil evil?
Another teacher called this student a "seismograph". If she understood, everyone else did too.
rmcquist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Also not a teacher) In college I showed to class on a really cold snowy morning. Most of my classmates were still warmly snuggled in bed, so our professor announced she was going to give us extra credit for showing up. She instructed to take out a sheet of paper, write extra credit in it and hand it in. One of the football players in my class had clearly sustained too much head trauma, and asked "do we have to put our name on it?" The class stifled a little laughter and the professor said, if you want me to know who you are so that you get credit, then yes.
Also in high school, not a question but a comment. We were watching channel one (school news channel) and they were covering the Oklahoma City bombing. They showed pictures of the suspects "John Doe 1" and "John Doe 2" and this girl exclaims, "what a coincidence - they have he same name!"
Not a teacher but when I was in high school a girl in my class asked our history teacher the difference between a road and a canal. In the middle of an exam.
I have her on Facebook because her posts are an endless source of amusement.
Once got asked if we have a Bachelor's degree in landscaping.
no_t_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I studied biology (Soviet/post-Soviet country), so we would study all together until the end of Year 2 (4 semesters), and then in Year 3 everyone would go their own way (different departments).
I studied Ichthyology, and had people genuinely wondering if they can study this subject cause they liked dolphins and whales so much. In Year 3 of a Biology department.
My high school history teacher once told us about a student in her class the previous year who asked "wait... who's Hitler?" and was absolutely serious.
Not really a stupid question as he was a 2nd grader, but funny nonetheless...
I once got asked while on recess duty if "leprechauns are on Mars." I replied, "No, they are not real, and therefore do not reside on Mars." The kid then turned to his friend and said, "SEE JACOB!"
17 year old girl asked, "What do people up in a plane do during an earthquake?" My eyes widen the widest they may ever widen, then we all laughed it off, even the girl.
After skipping most of the second term, and not handing in or being present for the majority of the assessments: comes with three days left in the school year.
"How can I pass English?"
...
Show up and do your work when you repeat this class next time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's the most stupid question a student has ever asked you?"
moontz91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in my junior year high school science biology class asked in class if stem cell research was hereditary
I asked a pretty dumb question in American History class in high school. During the lesson about WWII the teacher was talking about the German war machine and I legit thought it was a badass huge tank that the Germans used to take over France and what not.
I asked if there were any pictures of it cause I couldn't believe I've never heard of such an awesome piece of hardware before.
This was actually a question I asked... I'm not a teacher, it's from when I was a freshman in high school. Teacher hands out some paperwork, and starts talking about something or another... I doze off into never never land. Come back to, and the teacher is still droning on. I look at the paper handed to me, and raise my hand.
'What does res-um-ee mean? Its got a weird lines above some letter.'
Everyone busts up laughing. Turns out the teacher spent the last ten minutes explaining where the word rรฉsumรฉ comes from and why it's spelt that way.
Not a teacher, but a student in class when this question was asked. We were doing a more comprehensive sex Ed and a girl raised her hand and asked with a straight face if you can get pregnant from swallowing sperm. As a fellow female, I face palmed.
It was an intro to genetics class in high school. Our teacher was explaining to us about genetic diseases and she commented on how pure breed dogs were more likely to have them, because they were usually breed with relatives to keep the pedigree.
A friend raises his hand and asks: "yeah, but what if the dogs run away?"
Not a teacher, but one I asked back when I was in high school: Our French class had just been learning about the French construct "ร la [nationality]" meaning "in the style of". So, say, "poule ร la franรงaise" would be "chicken in the French style".
Before I'd really thought about it, I'd blurted out, "Oh, like canard ร l'orange?"
Not a teacher, but a fellow student. Shortly after 9/11, we were discussing terrorisms effects on economy in social studies class when one dimwit girl pipes up 'well, maybe 9/11 wasn't so bad. It would've created a lot of new jobs. I mean, all the people who died would need their positions filled right...?' and she just trailed off into the stunned silence of the classroom. Our teacher just said 'No, Katie....no.' ๐
In high school algebra, my teacher drew his square root symbols without the horizontal line before the check so I asked him if it meant something different from the normal square root symbol. First it took me like 5 minutes to explain what I was talking about in a way he could understand. Then he just gave the biggest "you're a dumbass face" and said no. I looked around the class and was getting that look from everyone. Sad thing was I was completely serious, I wasn't trying to waste time or anything.
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school, we were having a discussion about dijon mustard in my French class. Another student actually asked the teacher if dijon mustard grew in bottles. IN THE FREAKING BOTTLES.
I'm a graduate student who volunteers to teach climate change and renewable energy to third grade classrooms, usually with three or four other grad students. At the end of our lesson, the students can ask questions about our research or anything about college.
After the usual questions about dorm life and "do you play with lasers??," there was one girl who asked a perplexing question:
"Do you know Dylan?!"
And all of us were so confused. Who was Dylan?
Turns out Dylan is a volunteer scientist at a local science museum, and kids sometimes think all scientists know each other.
allayns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a question that was used to answer a question...
Me: What is a habitat?
Student: So if you have a brother maybe your brother has a house, so why don't you just get a job?
Me: ......
I'm not a teacher and this isn't a question, but I've learned that students AND teachers in high school do not know the difference between restarting a computer and logging out of their profile.
Wow. Never thought too much until you mentioned, I too have had these dreams.
Anxiety to the max and I scrambling in my dream to resolve the issue.
Probably has to do the fact that my attendance want the best.
Not a teacher, but had a classmate in grade 10 who was absolutely convinced that Vermont was not in fact a state. She would not back down from it until we physically showed her a map. She was our class valedictorian....
One girl in my highschoo, after she read something from Dan Brown, asked if it was possible to have a handbag with antimatter.
Horrible part, the professor took the question seriously -_-
Ex girlfriend with a biology degree and 3.8 GPA from a decent school, who was in pharmacy school at the time, asked me "Are fish mammals?" We broke up not long afterwards
onzie9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was heading a Mercury-viewing session for an astronomy class. Before looking through the telescope, a student asked me if she would be able to see the rings around Mercury.
bausl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm german and we covered the ways of Nazi Propaganda in history class for quite some time. The "Volksempfรคnger" - in typically connoted Nazi language means Reciever of the People - was a small affordable radio that was used to broadcast propaganda over the airwaves. Very modern for 20th century standards.
We were 3 lessions in at that point. Because the word "Empfรคnger" can also mean recipient in German, a friend of mine who was obviously not paying attention at all asked how this dude managed to spread all this propaganda all by himself.
I don't know how hilarious that is in English, but by the standards of German humor that is fucking hilarious.
1burton1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took a 'University chorus' 1 hour class at Ohio State in 1970....never ever went to a class....got a 'B'
Not a teacher, but when I was in highschool, in the middle of a chemistry test, a classmate waved his hand in a horizontal motion and asked the teacher "was this vertical or horizontal?".
Edit: I was never able to figure out why he would even need that for the test...
Gohorne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude next to me in high school once asked "Sir, what's a cup board?"
Not a teacher, but one day in my tenth grade Buology class my teacher was explaining that his daughter was allergic to normal chicken eggs like one would get from a grocery store. Therefore she has to eat duck eggs. Kid in my class raises his hand and as serious as he could possibly ask says,"What's the difference between a duck egg and a chicken egg?"
This kid in my 5th grade class asked my teacher "Why do people think that heat comes from the sun? Maybe it comes from the ground"
Barnhard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a high school teacher. I have too many to even remember, but here's one:
An 11th grade girl asked me, out of the blue during class one day, why kids don't revolt against parents. She was upset that I was giving homework and that her parents would make her do it. She was also completely serious. Her reasoning was that there are more kids than parents, so why don't all kids just get together and rise against parents and take over?
I was incredulous, but because the question was so bizarre I started to answer it anyway, as off-topic and delusional as it was. I tried to explain to her that it wouldn't make any sense, as the parents provide for the children. If the kids revolted, then they'd have no money, nowhere to live, etc. But she just didn't follow my logic. She couldn't understand why the kids wouldn't just revolt since they have more numbers.
Dad, can you drop me off at Emma's tonight? I have a revolt to go to.
Gipatti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After 6 weeks of teaching WWII to a group of year 9s (13/14 year olds) one asks me "Is WWII still going on?"
The same student later on thought the Battle Of Britain was fought in Japan and that Australia was hot because it was in the centre of the earth.
Australia was hot because it was in the center of... WHAT THE SHIT?
papereel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This exchange happened in my college psych class.
Student: "But is there any evidence to support Darwin's theory of evolution? Like have any studies been done?"
Professor: "Saying the theory of evolution is like saying the theory of gravity. Sure, I COULD drop my clicker and have it go flying off, but it's not very likely."
Student: "But where's the scientific community on this? Like 50/50?"
Professor: "Like 99.95."
Echono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but had one tell me about this one student...
He's giving a test for his basic Anthropology class in community college when the student walks up to him holding the test.
Student: (Points at the word Africa in his test) That's... This one, right?
(Student waves his hand in front of him in a lower right area, vaguely where Africa would be on a map.)
Teacher: ...Uh-huh.
Student: (Points to Asia) And that's this one, right? (Waves hand vaguely where Asia would be)
Teacher: ...Yes?
Student: (Points to South America) But isn't that this one? (Waves hand toward Africa)
Teacher: Um, no, that's over here. (Waves toward South America)
(Student frowns and walks back to his seat.)
Student: I didn't know this was a fuckin geology class...
Also not a teacher but at the end of our 8th grade English class our teacher asked us to come up to the front of the classroom and tell everyone one thing that they had learned that semester. Once very wealthy and kinf but notoriously ditzy girl came up and said 'I learned that turkey the animal and turkey you buy at the store were the same thing.' She seriously didn't understand that turkey = turkey. When questioned about it she just got meek and embaressed, understandably.
I was asked once by a coworker working on some reports on the computer, "How do I get the comma up?"
I had no idea what he was talking about and it took a few minutes of me trying to decipher what the heck he was talking about. His only answer was, "You know to get the comma down you push this button but how do you put it up?"
It was then I realized he was referring to the apostrophe, so I asked if thats what he meant. "Well...ya....I guess you could also call it that..."
No George, you can't also call it that. That is all it is, not putting the comma up. So I showed him the key that does an apostrophe.
Not a teacher but I remember when I was in 7th grade my teacher was talking about a sporting event in a stadium that held thousands of spectators. The girl sitting next to me said "how is that possible if there arent that many people on the Earth to begin with?"
We had just learned about sperm and the reproductive systems in sex ed. A kid asked me after class if sperm actually had to be swallowed to produce a child. I had to literally reteach the entire days lesson to him that we JUST heard.
We had one of those water dispensers with the big blue 15 liter disposable water reservoirs at the front of the classroom. On the cabinet next to it were 2 or so replacement water tanks. Students were allowed to use it whenever we weren't working on something specific.
One girl put her hand up, waited a couple of minutes for me to finish helping another student, asked, completely seriously, how the water got in the tank.
Dumbfounded, and suppressing the urge to laugh, I asked her how she thought it got in the tank. Until eventually she came up with condensation from the air.
This was a seminar workshop, second year physics. The girl was at least 19, probably 20
frperg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physics class, explaining how the plastic and aluminium layers of a CD causes to see a rainbow.
A student then asks, "but why do they do that?" - "What?" - "Why do they make CD's to do that?"
I'm not a teacher, but a girl in my 8th grade Ethics class asked while discussing this comic why an elephant couldn't climb a tree. After the class trying to tell her why, she was still convinced that some elephants could climb up trees.
AV-17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mister, what's The Odyssey?"
We had just spent seven weeks going over The Odyssey.
One time in middle school gym class we were playing baseball, but using a tennis ball and tennis racket to make it safer and easier. A girl next to me turns and says, "wait.. This isn't what a normal baseball bat looks like, right?"
There was a guy in my history class in junior year in highschool who always listened to music durring class. One day the teacher asked him to point to Africa on the pull down map. He walked up cussing under his breath, he took his time and looked at the map.
He pointed to South America. The continents were also labled. And he was black.
Visiting Yellow Stone, guide showing a valley where the entire moutainside collapsed and filled the old valley floor with 4-500 ft of rock I guess 30 or so years ago. You could still see the loose rocks 10ft in diameter and the scar on the mountain. Guide explains that the mountain collapsed so quickly that hurricane force winds were driven through the valley campground. 9th grade highschoolers. One pipes up "Is anyone still alive under there?"
"Why do you talk about water so much?" Third day of my marine systems class (high school). Pretty sure she didn't know what it was she had signed up for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the site OkCupid one of the questions they ask is "which is bigger - the sun or the moon?"
I was saying how silly that question was to some of my co-workers and 3 out of 5 of them asked "which is bigger?"
My wife had a college student turn in a map quiz of Europe. Had to fill in county names in the outline of each country. They had turned the paper upside down and filled it out. The names they selected were in the correct area of the map had it been right side up, but it was all sorts of messed up.
Not a teacher, but when I was a senior in high school I had a class mate who was particularly stupid.
This guy thought that Pearl Harbor was in the Hudson River (this school was located in NJ, literally minutes from the tunnels into NYC).
He thought that Buffalo was the name of the State that New York City was in.
Then one day our history teacher was talking about Robert Kennedy after we were supposed to have read a chapter about him. My teacher was talking about how much he liked him and how he campaigned for him. And this kid then asks "If he was so awesome why didn't he get elected?". The teacher lost it, and started railing about how lazy our class was and how no one did any work in the class (he was totally right, that class didn't do shit). Class then ended and the moron says "he never answered my question!". You'd think, if you weren't going to read the chapter, you wouldn't ask questions about it.
Yesterday a student asked me if the postlab discussion was due the day they perform that lab.
Nicod27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to tell the kids "there is no such thing as a stupid question. There are, however, some questions that are better than others, so you should try to ask those instead."
Not a teacher, but I was in a class in high school when someone I knew asked, seriously, if a T-Shirt was a liquid because it conformed to the container it was held in.
I was a driving instructor. In class one night I had one of the curriculum videos on, and this girl raises her hand. So I pause the video and she asks "How do the deer know to cross at the sign?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: A lot of Kevins.
Ukuled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not me but my mum, She was asked "Is there intelligent life on earth?", the kid was 17 and dead serious,(not being philosophical, this kid had lasted 17 years not knowing which planet he was on)
Maybe not stupid so much as outrageous, but when I was teaching a psychology course and we were talking about psychopathy: "Couldn't we just round them all up, put them on an island and have them kill each other?"
I think this was more of a misguided question and I think I understood his intent but the misinformation behind it was still a little scary to me:
8th grader, while discussing the 2016 election results: "But wasn't Bill Clinton kind of like the first black president?"
Oh my sweet summer child. Time to talk about broken windows policing and incarceration rates buddy.
kgb170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I remember in 8th grade a classmate asked the teacher in 100% seriousness, "Is the moon a star?" followed closely by, "When you're on the moon, can you touch the stars?"
Needless to say... pretty stupid questions
papereel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just remembered this exchange from high school.
Student: "Did Germany win WWII?"
Teacher: "Do you speak German??"
This is the same teacher who split the class into two groups to debate if the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were justified. At the end turned to the "Yes" side and told them, "Well I hope all you genocidal Republicans on that side of the room learned something today."
I was observing a geography class. A girl asked the teacher why it was windy when she went on holiday even though there were no trees around. She then spent 5 minutes arguing with the teacher about how it shouldn't be windy in places without trees because the trees make the wind.
She genuinely thought when leaves moved in the wind that it was because the tree was actually producing the wind.
Not a teacher, but as a sixth-grader I overheard one classmate quietly call another a "dildo." My hand shot up real quick, and I was told by my attractive female teacher that I should ask my parents.
I'm an elementary school ESL teacher. I once had a very bright 5th grader that I was tutoring ask me, "How do lions cook the zebras after they kill them?" He was completely serious...
Grade 6 kid (about 11 years old): "What color is a soul?"
To be fair, she had just asked if there were any questions, but they were learning grammar at the time. Not exactly a stupid question, but kind of strange.
I'm not a teacher but when I was in the 8th grade (2001) we experienced the Nisqually earthquake in Washington state. I was in a science classroom listening to my instructor give a lecture when suddenly the quake began. Needless to say, everything was shaking violently; we had those TV's up on some sort of spring-loaded mount in the corner of the room bouncing like crazy, cabinets full of beakers and test tubes collapsing to the floor, it was just like in the movies. Everybody ducked and covered like we had been told countless times growing up. I was underneath the workstation where I was generally seated near my lab partner Katie who seemed particularly distressed when out of the back of the classroom we heard a girl cry out "Is this a drill?" and the whole classroom erupted with laughter amidst the chaos. So this story isn't really a direct response to the AskReddit topic but it was a student asking a really silly question.
Myrtje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my sister (8-9 years old at the time), once asked when people began to see in color after watching an old black and white movie.
Some friends told me about a maths test they had a while ago. This girl joined their class not long ago, and it was obvious that she wasn't the sharpest knife in the block.
Now the teacher does a brief run through all of the questions, and the kids start. 20 minutes into the test, she asks "Can we start now?"
hitn2u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If data is stored in a storage, what's a database for ?
lovest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in High School a few kids from the local children's hospital came up to give an awareness talk about cancer. Long story short, at the end the teacher made some space for questions and one girl asked the teacher if we can get cancer by touching the kids that had come over from the hospital.
sh_asty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching the Haitian Revolution I had a student ask "well did the slaves at least get paid?".....
Not a teacher, but a dental student. I had a classmate of mine once ask if the lungs were anatomically inside the ribcage. We were first years at the time. Evidently that's not a question on the DAT....
Makes me mad because she actually kicks my ass on most tests, just can't rationalize normal thoughts.
io_la ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the middel of teaching square roots when one of my lesser gifted students raised her hand. Delighted that she showed any interest on the subject I called her up and she asked me:
I'm not a teacher, but once a classmate in our senior year was astounded by learning the true size of stars, he said "I knew they were big, but I imagined them the size of a classroom or a truck", I could see the look of sheer dissapointment for our generation in the teacher's face.
I mean, kids would ask many different stupid questions but just as an example, I had one of the kids asking me if my feet were invisible because I was "dancing too fast" ( I teach folk dancing as a hobby )
romebe82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Not a teacher) When I was in 5th grade, all the students in class had to talk briefly about where they're from, and one asian girl was talking about China when she was interrupted by a student who asked if there were dragons and dinosaurs roaming around in China.
I work with kindergarteners, and one of the first days of the new school year, I'm sitting down with a kid who is having difficulty spelling his name. He was very distracted, and eventually blurted out, "do you know Jesus?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th grade world history class, just got done studying Greece, the day we move on to India.
"So like, Buddha is from Greece, right?"
JJamesP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Junior year of high school my history class touched on the Irish potato famine which prompted one of the brighter students in class to ask, "who took all of their potatoes?"
Not a teacher, but when I was in fourth grade, we were talking about gravity and after a few minutes of discussion one girl asked why people in China didn't get headaches, like when you hang upside down for too long.
I have many many stories... but one of my favorites is this: One day I was talking about how there are a lot of cows in the US because we eat them (and that their farts are a source of methane in the atmosphere). After class a boy walked up and said, "We eat cows Mr. B?" These are 14 year old Latino kids, he probably eats cow every night, and just never stopped to wonder where "meat" comes from.
I'm in a history class right now. Juniors and seniors in high school (16-18 y/o) and this girl just asked when Abe Lincoln fought Hitler. I'm not sure what to think about this. The sadder thing is that she was 100% serious.
shydiva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Music teacher. "What is that hashtag next to that F for?"
kctroway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but someone once asked my science teacher what would happen to your body if you were floating naked in space and did heroin.
A freshman girl in high school asked, "is my first name always capitalized?"
duowing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the teacher, but I feel like it had to be one of the dumbest asked. In high school government class we were all working on in-class work. It was real quiet then out of the silence this girl says "Richard Nixon?". The teacher then kind of hesitantly asks "What.... about him?"
Girl: "Richard Nixon, was that his real name?"
Teacher: ".... Yes, that was his real name"
No idea where it came from, there was nothing we were working on remotely related to Nixon.
"Do you remember when we had those snowstorms last year and the school lost power for a few days?" - "Yes." - "Well, will that happen again this year?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a moron in a science class I was in once asked if we would still have to go to the bathroom if the world started spinning backwards. The teacher told him bluntly that going to the bathroom had nothing to do with the way that the planet spins and that he was more worried about all the other changes that would cause. This was in middle school.
lind_p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl in my biology class which instead of saying organism, kept saying orgasm. She couldn't tell the difference. Same girl asked what the capitol in Africa was...
Im no teacher, yet, but once in my history class a girl rased her hand a asked: "Teacher, how do you say England in English?"
For clarification I'm from Puerto Rico
Same girl in math class on another occasion asked if the 0 was positive or negative.
HImagor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in sophomore english the teacher was talking about William Golding and a quotation of his that was something like "Men produce evil like bees produce honey" and a girl said wait bees make honey.
j_la ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this is what you're looking for, but one of my (college) students asked if I was going to scan and upload the entire textbook for the class. No...I will not break copyright law so you can get out of paying $20 (I purposefully use a cheap handbook). If you want to pirate it, that's your choice, but don't ask me to commit a crime.
My history teacher told us this story. Once, his class was talking about the advancements in film and entertainment and whatnot in the early 20th century, with color movies and stuff coming out. One student piped up and asked "When did people start seeing in color?"
Girl I went to college with didn't know Antarctica was a continent. She made a big fuss in class that it was, in fact, a state. She is currently teaching 2nd grade.
rsoccer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but my Dad teaches at a University. He teaches rocket science 101 and during a test a student asked about a question that said "What was the first mammal in space?" The student asked "Is a dog a mammal?"
Teaching college algebra at a state university. A girl who was failing finally came in to my office hours and asked me what that symbol I kept drawing meant. It was the less than sign. This: <. She had no idea what it was.
Not a teacher, but I had a guy in my chemistry class who used to ask the most bizarre questions. Here's one I recall with fondness:
Teacher talking about atoms and their make up.
"Miss. How many electrons would be in earth then?"
Teacher slightly taken aback says: "Oh, I don't know, umpteen."
With the perfect length of pause and the most vacant look in his eyes he said: "How many's that?"
Still a very intelligent guy, but really struggled with some things.
Not a teacher but the student. Granted it was first grade, but I was working on a word search and I went up to the teacher and asked what a "map" was. She looked at me like I was insane. I genuinely had a total brain fart and the word "map" meant absolutely nothing to me at that moment. It's not even that I hadn't learned it yet - it just didn't click in my head for some reason.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach martial arts. Had a teenage girl ask me in class if she would turn black like boxers do.
oureyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also not a teacher;
Heard a student in World History class in high school ask the teacher "how much money is there in the world?"
The teacher just stared back at her and said "I'm sorry [redacted], I haven't gotten around to counting it yet".
Not a teacher, but we had a huge world map on the wall that showed all of the continents, prompting someone to ask what was on the other side of the earth.
Not a teacher, but when I was in school I was friends with a pair of identical twins. One day this other kid asked them how they tell themselves apart.
Which led to us looking up pictures of each Prime Minister of Canada and ranking them...
So far the kids say the current PM, Trudeau is the hottest, his dad didn't rank so well.
knutella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in 5th grade, the PE teacher gave all the boys "The Talk". When he opened the room to questions, one kid raised his hand and asked "how old you gotta be to use curse words?"
i'm a student but a guy in my maths class asked a substitute teacher what his favourite type of cheese grater was, and the teacher gave him a serious reply its was "2.5 mil hole"
Yespinky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student teacher with a focus in early childhood ed, but this actually happened when I was in 6th grade. We were watching a play the 7th grade classes put together and afterwords they asked if anyone had any questions. I can't remember what the play was about, but it involved a family; a mom, a dad, and a baby. A boy in my class was the only one to raise his had with a question. He asked if the baby in the play was real. The cast had to try their best not to laugh at him, but that didn't stop the rest if the audience from laughing.
Sometimes students will admit beforehand that they have a stupid question. My biology teacher would then deflect their question and say "there are no stupid questions... Only stupid people"
yzyblur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl once asked if Spain was in South America.
Aknm102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a 8th grade student, a girl asked to the biology teacher if dolphins were baby whales.
Background: Students are working on a conversion work sheet. At the bottom of the page there are two questions which look like this:
a. 6 feet is how many yards b. 2 feet 3 inches is how many inches
One of my smart underachiever students who we will call uppity because he is always up (teachers you know who I'm talking about) is always off task and getting around his work. So I'm walking around seeing everyone has finished these two VERY SIMPLE QUESTIONS and I look at Uppity and his paper isn't even facing him. He's up taking to his friend, so I say UPPITY, where is your answer? He says "Mr. Lurvinator11! I'm doneeeee look!" And he proceeds to sit down, and circle a. He fucking circled A. A. that says convert feet to yards. A.
I proceed to loudly call him out by repeating to him what he just did. He realized what he did, the class realized it. In all honesty it was a good laugh. He was a good sport about it though. but FUCK!
a-y-y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in 7th grade history class we were watching a video about Ancient Greece. Parts of the video were animated, while most was reenacted by guys with clothes and armor of the time. After the video, a girl raises her hand and asks if it was filmed during that time period.
The same girl also asked why they didn't surround castles with lava while we were learning about the medieval time period. When the teacher told her that it's near impossible to collect and transport the lava, she said they should use a bucket.
Arreeyem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school we had a student argue with the teacher that Germany was in the middle east. Because Europe was in the east and Germany was in the middle of the map (It was a map of Europe)
This same student asked if they had CDs during the French revolution. She wasn't very good with logic.
dpalmade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an anonymous sex ed question box for high school sophmores: Is anal a good alternative for traditional sex?
dpalmade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that note is also currently the background on my ipad.
dykestar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I know how boats don't sink, because there is more water than boat, but how do aeroplanes stay in the sky? There's nothing holding them up" exact quote.
My freshman year of high school a kid in my physics class asked if there were any months with 32 days
We all told him no but he decided to argue for the remainder of the class against all of us, including our huge, frightening physics teacher about how February has 32 days on leap years
boghall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As my (witty) science teacher used to say: there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions.
I am an after school teacher for first graders and kindergarteners. One day, one of my students saw me doing a report on WWII for my history class. He then asked, "What's that?" I told him it was World War II, a war that happened in the 1900's (you have to dumb down every explanation to these kids). He then asked, "Oh that's cool, is that a movie or something?"
Lavalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in honour's history we were reading about Nazi Germany until a guy blurted out "Wait, Hitler has a moustache?". He was 15 years old yet he hadn't seen a single picture of Hitler till that class
You want to encourage questions! Put on the board in big letters:
There are NO stupid question
This will encourages students to ask question.
Also if a student does ask a stupid question, you can just quietly turn around and erase it (or just the "NO") from the board before answering.
Beemer32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my tenth grade biology class I was talking to my buddy about narwhals and my teacher said they they were a mythical creature like unicorns and dragons. She had a masters degree in biology from a well known school. We were baffled and began to argue with her for a good 20 minutes before she sent us to the principles office. We explained why we were there and then the principle called her down to the office and told her she was wrong, right in front of us. 'Twas glorious. Kind of from the other side of it, but still thought I would share.
lussmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just today i had a classmate ask "which planet is Terra?"
Not a teacher, but first day of class last semester my Government professor had just finished going over the syllabus and had clearly stated multiple times that we would only have three grades that would be earned from our two tests and final exam. I mean he said it so many times and made it so clear. Asked the class if there were any questions. Poor guy behind me raises his hand and asks if there were any assignments that would count towards our final grade. Professor asks if he's joking as some of us smirk from what we thought was a smart-ass comment. Guy says no with a confused look on his face.
Professor looked like he was ready to quit right then and there.
College class on biophysics. The professor stated that a particular hip was 12 inches and in order to calculate the force, we needed half of that number. Student asks, "So, half of 12 is 6, right?" to which the professor responded, "Yes, half of 12 is 6."
Not a teacher, but a fellow student way back in 9th grade asked this of our foreign language teacher: Do Spanish people think in Spanish? Yeah he caught some heat for that one.
I was once asked by an 11-year old: "Did they have trees in Anglo-Saxon times?"
Another of my favourites is when an 11-year old girl on residential asked the half-Australian activity leader which half of them was Australian. The instructor held out their left hand and said "This half!" for a joke. The child thought for a few seconds before nodding and agreeing earnestly that this half looked more Australian! :D
I'm a teacher now, but when i was an aid, an 8th grade student asked if dogs were humans. Blew my mind, it took everything in me to not get fired that day.
dcruse22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I had a classmate in a very difficult AP class ask "Is Europe part of America" and my friend and I had to explain to her how the continents worked, the discussion ended when I pulled up a map to show her and she still didn't understand.
In tech school for network engineering degree, first semester English (prereq) class. My teacher checks my work, which is literally using specific words in a sentence. One sentence I wrote was "I won't waste my time with" something or other.
Allegedly this teacher had a Masters degree in English. She proceeded to tell me that I should be using the word 'waist' in that sentence. I told her that would be in the context of something around my waist, like a belt. Waste is refuse, trash, etc. She continued to argue with me about the correct use of the word until I just looked at her in disbelief, then realized her mistake, saying "Oh, you right, you right." Yes, improper use of grammar as well, I assume owing to ethnicity or upbringing.
Yeah, that really happened. Incidentally, she was fired at the end of the semester.
Not a teacher, but on the first day of my university introductory geology class last semester a kid a few seats down from me raised his hand and asked the professor if we would be learning about moon rocks.
We didn't learn about moon rocks. :(
Vivirmos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher and wasn't the one being asked, but i heard a girl i was in school with drop this gem "Is Georgia in Alabama? Is it at least in the United States?"
Not a teache,r but in my Junior year of high school in History class we played Jeopardy and question that came up asked "who was the leader of nazi?" The kid that went up said Italy.
kazzak05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in one of my history classes (in college) a student asked, dead serious, what planet the pyramids were found on.
Not a teacher, but my English teacher was asked by a student if his girlfriend swallowed would she get pregnant, and the teacher knew he was dumb so he told him yes only to end up with a crying senior in front of him.
las377 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really late but...while talking about matter classification in chemistry class, a student asked me why we don't classify pizza as an element. Unfortunately, she was serious.
I'm not a teacher, but I witnessed the following in basic training at Ft. Benning Georgia.
We were in a mandatory class on sexual harassment. The class was taught by our Executive Officer (XO). He began the class by talking about Georgia's sodomy law. The law defined sodomy as either oral or anal sex, or sex with an animal. All of which where illegal in Georgia, in the late 1980s.
One of the soldiers in my platoon stood up and asked with all sincerity "Why would they make a law against having sex with animals?"
He line of thought was "Why would lawmakers go to the trouble of making a law against having sex?".
The rest of the platoon's line of thought regarding his line of thought was "Why would lawmakers go to the trouble of outlawing something so enjoyable?".
thetok42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm not really a teacher, but training people how to use a certain software in a company :
me : So here in this table you can see all the data
her : but there is too much data, it doesn't fit in the screen !
me : yeah, but you can scroll down, use the mouse wheel
her : but... how will I do if my mouse stops working one day ?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught a remedial Geography survey course for high school students during a summer session two years ago.
The classes were three hours long (insane) and the students were of all grades from 9-12(really fucking insane, so many fights)
I put up a map of the world without country names and asked this pair of obnoxiously loud and inattentive 14 year old girls where Canada was.. I ruled out that they were fucking with me by how silent and embarrassed they got when they pointed to Africa.
adraria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't Gengus Khan just just jump from Korea to Japan?
dmiiiit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in high school biology we were revising cell growth after having completed a whole module of it and were about to sit an exam. The teacher was explaining how living things are built up of millions of cells and just going over what we had been taught for the last 6 weeks.
A girl at the front literally asked:
"So Mrs. X are we all one cell?"
I literally saw her will to continue teaching crumble in front of the class.
Not a question, but I once had a student spell "it" as "i't" and it was not a fancy dot on the i. This same kid asked how Ms. Garcia was Mexican, since she was "too white."
boesse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is a hippo a mammal?" I.e. when asked on an exam to essentially identify hippos as mammals, birds, or "reptiles". This was in college, two semesters ago
Ryno1o1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my Christian high school, a student once asked our Bible teacher what Mary's last name was before it was Christ.
The teacher just stared at him for about 6 seconds and then moved on.
In elementary the police came in to the class to have a presentation and talk about their stuff. At the end i asked if i can shoot somebody with the gun please..
I'm not a teacher but a girl in my 8th grade science class said "so if I fill myself up with helium, tie a bunch of balloons to myself and jump off a cliff, would I float up into space? Oh wait but then I would die from breathing in the space air..."
I had one of those pupils in a senior Geography class, very smart but no common sense
"Sir is the great wall of China in Egypt?"
then on another occasion they asked "do sheep poo as I have never seen one poo" - we lived nowhere near sheep for this to be relevant... However the best:
"how do Australians managed to stand on the world? Oh never mind I know they take a shot of helium daily"
Obviously there are stupid questions, I just think the purpose of the saying in education is to promote critical thinking, and shed the mindset that there is always a definitively right or wrong answer in every situation.
Not a teacher but a few months ago in A college western civilization class, a student asked what evolution was. Like they had never even heard of the idea of evolution.
Every semester, I take my freshman classes to the library and tour then through the different parts in order to give them a sense of the resources their school offers beyond internet databases. After going through everything I asked if anyone had questions and a student asked "wait, so we can take any of these books?" It made some classmates laugh, but it mostly opened my eyes to how little exposure current students get to tangible resources. It was also a great segue for me to talk about the difference between books in the stacks that can be checked out vs reference/bound periodicals/periodicals/reserve/special collections/microform/current periodicals
3D modeling instructor here. I had a student ask me why we had to learn Zbrush (an industry standard sculpting app) since employers would just let him use what software he wanted and he didn't like the interface.
I kindly explained to him that he should learn it because he'd be using whatever the fuck software his employer tells him to use or he'll be looking for a new job.
chefr89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should retitle this: 'non-teachers of Reddit..'
rake2204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not asked, but answered. Our teacher came to the front of the class with an exam, grinning from ear to ear. One of the guys in our class had written out a detailed experiment which was totally fine... except one point. The experiment was to see what colours flies were more attracted to, but the guy had noted that the flies would need to be removed after each test so they couldnt tell the other flies that it was dangerous.
The poor guy was laughing with his head in his hands. "I think this is a new level of stupid. Wh'd you put that there???!?!" "I dont know! It seemed like a good idea at the time!"
Ooh, one I can answer! When I was in 7th grade we were doing a short 9/11 remembrance day thing, and I raised my hand and asked what 9/11 was in complete ignorance. It had just never been mentioned to me before, I was the only kid who didn't know
fvrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 9th grade English we were watching Romeo and Juliet (the one with Leonardo DiCaprio) after the teacher pauses the movie a girl raises her hand and says "was this before or after the Titanic?" The teacher responds with "I'm not sure why?" And the girl goes, "because he died in Titanic." She honestly thought that he died in real life. Her logic was that it was about real life events (she thought it was like a real found film documentary and those were the real people and the real Titanic).
kagez28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do meteors always land right where there is a crater?
8th grade trip to Washington DC, all students are getting off the buses at one of our stops, the Holocaust Museum. Very very ignorant girl says, "why are we even here? What was the Holocaust?"
One of the most dumb and insensitive questions I've ever heard asked in my life.
dekid_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My classmate in a good college asked why in fractions,units cancelled each other out. Mind you this was an engineering class and you NEED to know Maths.
Word for word he asked "how come you remove metres when u divide length by radius?" Lecturer is stunned at question and appropriately enough let's that reaction last for half a second before genius follows up with "is it something special you do? Or must we all do that?"
He didn't get out of that class
xkrysis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife worked in graduate/university level education (Masters of Education program, no less). A student replied to an email asking for her email address.
A student of mine asked if she could use my microwave. I said sure. Next thing I know, there's sparks and smoke. She had put in something wrapped in foil. I said, "You can't put metal in a microwave like that!" She said, "I know that, but is foil metal?"
A classmate asked if you zoomed in far enough, if you could see the "H" and "O" in a water molecule. Please note we're in an advanced class in 11th grade. And he was completely serious.
JSHU16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the final year of my chemistry degree: somebody asked what a double bond was.
To non-scientists/chemists you typically learn what a double bond is around age 13/14 in school. No idea how somebody got to the final year of a chemistry degree without knowing that.
I'm not a teacher, but when I was in 7th grade we were watching a video of a speech by Winston Churchill and a girl in the class yelled out "Dat Martin?"
A student of mine had been in my class for about 2 years. Since day one I'd used "TB" as an abbreviation for Textbook. One day I write on the board: "open TB40" and she asks: "sir, what is TB?". The whole class sighed in such manner that I immediately knew she said dumb stuff like this on a regular basis.
All these posts just reminded me of the worst one I have ever experienced personally.
There was a lady next me who had recently gotten out of the Navy. We were training for a night shift job and the trainers put a map of the world in front of us (I don't know why). We were asked to name as many countries and oceans we could. The girl named Canada, US, and Mexico. She looked up at me and asked where the oceans were. (Navy - Oceans!)
madd74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I send you an email with the exact layout of how the week will go, then do a verbal Q & A going over said thing, and you STILL ASK THE SAME FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION.
So, basically, any question that could be avoided if you got of your fucking phone and paid attention.
I asked my historical geology professor during the evolution discussion if certain water dogs like my golden retriever will evolve to just live in the water. Given the choice I think my golden would love that opportunity
I'm certainly embarrassed to admit that I was the one to ask this. But my Biology teacher was pregnant (about 7months along) and we were going over the reproductive system in class. I started asking her all sorts of questions about it (since I was a 10th grade virgin and I was extremely uneducated on how everything worked)
I asked if she had any other children and she said "yes, this will be my 4th" and I, without hesitation, said "oh wow! Do you know who the father of this one is?" And the entire class got dead silence. And she looked shocked as all hell. And I turned redder than the devils dick. And she could tell I was embarrassed. And she goes "well as a matter of fact I do. Thankfully it's the same father as my other three" and a ton of my buddies just laughed and couldn't believe I had asked the teacher such a question and got away with it. I apologized to my teacher after class that day.
lue42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my teacher wife:
A high school student asked "you know those movies about the future? How do they know that is what it will look like?"
I taught Swift's "Modest Proposal" for several years. Invariably, I would get "why would we study some monster who thinks eating children is a good idea?"
By the end of the unit, most kids understood, but there would always be a couple that never figured it out, no matter what I tried.
On the unit test, I'd always put the question "Did Swift really want kids to be eaten?" I'd never get 100% correct responses.
I'm in college and someone asked if I ever read modest proposal. I think it's actually a great bit for middle school kids in America to see how dumb they are
bbaccce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher. 14yo girl in geography class seriously asked : " Is North Korea part of european union? "
UTEngie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember in 9th grade our science teacher (who's also a football coach) told the class there were no stupid questions and to ask whatever they wanted.
Student: "Why can't I float in air?"
Teacher: with a dumbfounded look "Air? You can't even float in water."
meiniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but happened in my graduate legal program. We are in our criminal code course and this one girl who has a habit of asking terrible questions asks, "how can we tell if the courtroom is criminal? Is it from the men in orange jumpsuits?"
I'm pretty sure the whole class cringed in unison and the teacher had to bite her tongue not to laugh or tell her it was a stupid question.
Not a teacher but back in my military days, we were taking a quick break after having a death by powerpoint presentation about sanitary hazards while out in the field. A group of us were lounging around when this one guy gets all serious and asks: "Hey SGT, how do I become a mercenary?" We all looked at him, looked at eachother, looked at him and break time was over.
Students who continuously act like they're answering the question when all they're doing is explaining what the question is.
For ex, just this week my professor asked us to name one public service that we all need in Canada. A simple question right? Well the answer he received was "it should be a service we (taxpayers) pay for because then it would be a good service." Prof replied all public services should be good regardless of whether we pay for them or not. Answer prof was looking for was literally one or two words like transit or health care.
sonakay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little late, not a teacher but he mentioned this gem:
"When did we discover the moon?"
mibop3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my 8th grade sex ed class once asked the teacher, "if you drink chocolate milk while you're pregnant, does your baby turn black?"
Not stupid per se but certainly annoying and lacks thinking. "Is he dead?", "Are they still alive?", or "How did they die?". I don't mind if they are asking about recent event stories, but usually it's when we are studying early European explorers or the founding fathers. Look kid, this was over 200 years ago, we've discussed how they didn't have TV, cars, phones, etc. and it blew your mind, now you're asking if they are still alive? Dude, you're not even trying to think.
azanc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In China, don't they only eat flowers or something like that?" -2nd grade student
Emmdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a school open house with my parents when I overheard one of the other parents ask our 8th grade teacher how long it took the Native Americans to carve out the Grand Canyon.
jerni57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might have slready been said. Not a teacher and this was corroborated by students in the class. My teacher in zoology told us that in her anatomy class going over reproduction and how sperm is comprised of protein and glucose. A girl raises her hand and asked that if there is sugar, then why is it not sweet.
YYZ_Kyjo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So was the underground railroad that was used by slaves one of the first subway systems ever developed?"
I'm no teacher, but back in high school, my history teacher told the class that he once had a student who asked him if history was black and white like in the old pictures.
In grade 11 AP history, a girl asked "okay, but when did World War Three start?" Everyone stared at her and then the teacher asked her how many World Wars she'd thought there'd been... 6. She thought there had been six World Wars.
Not a teacher, but a girl in my Year 9 (13-14 years old) geography class asked if France was in England. This was AFTER she had just been on a school trip to Paris. I really wanted to go on that trip but couldn't afford it, meanwhile this girl didn't even realise she'd left the country. The teacher then told her she had "the geographical knowledge of a spoon"....she didn't understand.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in 9th grade ELA, while reading Mice and Men: so we just learned about the Candy's dog, and being the teenagers we were, me and a close friend of mine were being an ass. So he starts calling me a bitch (I mean this guys is a really close friend of mine, but sometimes he's so annoying and stupid it hurts) in that really obnoxious way, you know, adding emphasis on the B and the tch. And he is repeating himself. So I was liek call me butch one more time. This guy calls me a bitch, and I'm like "Good but he's do what they're told." This caused him to quiet down for a while, and I don't remember exactly what happened, but he raises his hand and asks "Are there guy dogs?" We all started dying of laughter, and my teacher (whom I found as one of the coolest I've ever met) throws a paper ball at him.
I had a student ask me which planet in our solar system had life on it. She was a freshman.
Elyikiam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Random rather than stupid.
I had an autistic student. While other students would be taking notes and listening to "story time" in 6th grade history class, this kid would ask the most random questions. We'd be talking about heads getting chopped off in the French Revolution and he'd start asking a line of questions about my fast food preferences, my order, if I went often, etc. Every time it was a different subject.
The fun part is that I would answer his questions quietly while students were completing their outlines between slides. He and I would be juggling our conversation and the school subject at the same time. Sometimes he'd add another conversation line and jump back and forth between subjects. The remarkable thing is this kid would take perfect notes while in the other classes he was non-responsive, non-compliant.
Not a teacher, but a fellow classmate asked, "How may years of humans eating butterflies will it take for is to start having glowing butts?"
He is a 30+ year old man. And the topic at hand was DC Theory, the theory of how DC electricity works.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
catsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but mammals have egg cells and placentas...that's the thing, your teacher probably didn't know the evolution of internal reproduction in mammals either, or did they mention platypus eggs and stuff?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a girl in my senior economics class in high school who couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that SOMEONE was putting money into her bank account which then allowed her to take money out of an atm.
Once had a 12 year old student ask me:
"Is is to possible for a woman to get Salmonella if she's NOT pregnant?"
seth349 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student. This is in grade 9 Geography class, and we start talking about different climates in the Middle East. And this one girl said "Is the reason Iraq is so hot because of all the oil they have underground"? She was completely serious. They teacher was just kinda shocked, went blank for 5 seconds and just said no thats not why.
Not a teacher, but........ " What's the difference between being Spanish and being Hispanic?" Is a normal question from a freshman in high school. Only it took about 20 minutes for her to grasp the concept, and even then i think she was lying.
Not a teacher....but in 7th grade we were sitting in class and one kid raised his hand and said, obviously a little embarrassed but completely serious, "you know how those pictures from a long time ago are in black and white?..well...is that how y'all saw too? Or was everything actually in color?" everyone literally just sat there and looked at him in silence. Finally, the teacher told him that was a stupid question.
Not stupid but confusing. This was in an ESL class that I used to teach.
The Question: Do only black people live in Jacksonville?
I had to ask what made her ask this.
Her response: Jacksonville must be named after a famous person named Jackson. A very famous person named Jackson: Micheal Jackson the King of Pop. Since, he's black, only black people would want to live in a city named after him.
She asked just to be sure.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was giving a presentation about the Milkyway at a university. I show a picture that was generated by knowing the positions of many stars in it and where the spiral arms are therefore and so on...
I say "This simulation shows what we currently think the Milkyway looks like..."
Question from a student: "How did they get the camera out so far?"
High school science teacher. I was talking about the California drought and how low the reservoirs are and one student raised his hand and with 100% seriousness asked why we couldn't just, like, take a hose and fill them back up.
Possibly any question that can be found on the professor's syllabus, but to be fair, the syllabus is the most thrown away hand out some students do not keep.
Not a teacher, but happened in my 9th grade English class. We were in the middle of Act 2 of Romeo and Juliet, and one of my classmates says out loud, "What's a Montague?" Now, had she posed this question in the beginning of the play, whatever. But the middle of Act 2?! The teacher just looked at her and said, "Are you high?" Probably not the best response from a teacher, but yeah. That was a long time ago, but will always be stuck in my mind. Loved that teacher, though.
Not a teacher.
In my high school Geography class, we were looking at a political map of the United States, and one kid asked, with 100% seriousness, "If you looked at the earth from space, does it actually say 'United States' on the United States?"
Reminds me of a kid in my grade nine & ten classes.
Some golden questions included:
"Is cheese a vegetable?" (In science class, because she was thinking about salad, and you can put cheese in salad.)
"What do you mean, 'Beethoven's dead'?" (In specialised music, upon hearing the dates of Beethoven's life. Student was a classical piano student, and there was a Timeline of Famous Composers in the music room which had been there since our first day of high school (grade eight.))
"Is there yellow sand at the end of the universe?" (to science teacher, having already asked the health teacher, after we convinced her that the sand brick layers use is also the foundation of the universe.)
I told a 7th grade student talking out too much...
I said, "I've already asked you several times, please wait your turn."
He responded, "Why do teachers always say several? Why is it never sixeral or eighteral? You didn't even ask me 7 times."
As a basketball coach I drew up a play for one of the kids. Wanting to put him on the right side of the court for his shot I asked him "your right handed, right?" And he responds "I shoot with my right but dribble with my left" :/
Needless to say I drew up a play for a different kid
Not really a question, but a student response that seems to fit. In college, my professor had us do a pop quiz. After the quiz he joked, "I hope you all enjoyed your little quizy!" A girl in the class responded, "Well, if that was one of your little quizies, I can't wait to see your little testies." She immediately realized what she said, stood up, left the class, and never came back.
Romanv12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time in my ap government class senior year of hs about 2 years ago, its towards the end of the school year.. and our teacher was just explaining checks and balances and talking about presidential power n stuff. This girl literally interrupts him and asks "wait, isnt obama a republican?" The whole class went silent and looked at her like wtf. I was dying laughing i could not believe it. She was dead serious
"Yes, except for Nearly Headless Nick. He died because he wasn't properly beheaded."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I remember a couple stupid questions I asked when I was a kid. A very young, naive, stupid kid...So once I asked the teacher, "Why is the company called The Bay when in the logo the B looks like an M?" I actually remember the look of confusion on the teachers face as they replied, "Umm...I'm not sure. Nnnnext question." The second one was in some sort of health class and we had a guest Dentist come over to give a presentation about oral hygeine. Me being me, of course I had to ask, "Is gingivitis like cancer?" This time the speaker humored me saying, "That's a very good question. But no it isn't." The funny thing about me asking that one was that I asked my friend beside me if I should ask it and they said, "Yeah do it. That's a good one." To this day I don't know if they were being sincere or just messing with me, but at the same time I remember they were as young and dumb as I was so yeah haha.
An intentionally stupid but funny question was asked on behalf of my teasing "friends" in our religious studies class in high school once. Our super conservative deacon teacher had an ananyomous question box, and one day he got the one my friends wrote which said, "Hi my name is [my name] I'm not circumcised but I would like to be, is there a home kit I can use?" The class burst out laughing and the teacher gave me...ME a very serious and stern look as if I would humiliate myself like that while the entire class laughed. My friends were dumb on purpose, but the teacher was just plain dumb. I wasn't mad though, even I had a good laugh at that one.
Okay, I must be in the minority. This isn't a dumb question. The student asks how astronauts stand on a planet "like that". As an a spherical/elliptical planet. And the answer is what you learn in physics - because gravity pulls you toward the mass's center.
Granted, I'm not sure why he specified astronauts of all people influenced by how you stand on a planet.
Maybe he specified astronauts because the non-astronauts among us have only ever been on Earth, which is obviously flat.
</ sarcasm>
herper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class with a guy in it (senior year of college btw). that asked if the connection has ever been made that the campfires the aztecs and mayans used is what caused the climate change that resulted in the drought and their demise.
everyone kind of just looked at him like dafuq how big do you think their fires were to produce that much greenhouse gases.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ha!!!! My time has come! OK so I am a Sex Ed teacher and I give semester classes once a week to various different high school classes for about a whole semester. We cover a lot of subjects like relationship building, safe sex methods, and myth and facts.
So I was covering a myth and facts segment of what type of protection works or not and I was covering specifically the douching method. Now for those who don't know, douching is when you use a water stream or some type of solution with some pressure in an attempt to clean out your vagina. The theory is that with a good clean then you can potentially wash out STDs and Semen to avoid getting pregnant. After I explained that this is simply not true and that water stream can actually increase your chances of getting pregnant since you can essentially give sperm a free ride through the filopian tubes.
So after I explained all of this I had one student and she had a puzzled yet curious look in her eyes. She then asks me: "OK if the water stream won't work could I then use a vacuum to suck the sperm out instead?" I had to try my absolute best not to burst out laughing. But.... Come on people you're in college that answer should be simple!
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hope you pointed out the dangers before someone went and used one of those crazy strong newer vacuum models on their vagina and uterus. Strong enough, sealed enough, far up enough and it could well damage her.
Seeing how abortion is secretly outlawed, it is very VERY important to see those questions as questions for alternative methods to prevent or end pregnancy. The dangers MUST be discussed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I treat all questions seriously, even the obvious shock questions, so I definitely gave instructions to never do that for it can cause bodily harm.
I'm not a teacher, but once we were being shown a video in class about the sun and I asked "Why are you showing us a video where it says the sun is hydrogen when we now know it's plasma? " It had never occurred to me that an element could be an element and a plasma. I felt stupid after I found out.
Slightly off topic but one younger brother once won an award at school for best answer given. The question was what do two halves make? His answer; a pint. Bearing in mind he was probably 6 years old at this point taking early maths lessons.
"Miss, what animal are steaks from?" Grade 11. And also "Chicken are birds?!? I thought they were their own animal..." Also grade 11, and not from a stupid kid, just one with misconceptions that were never confronted I guess...
catsan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:45:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True. I have a friend that refused to eat an egg that a neighbour's chicken had laid on her lawn, she thought it was disgusting, she's a science teacher. I still make fun of her about it. There would be a lot more many vegetarians if people got to witness the whole process.
Not me but a teacher I worked with was asked when on the subject of the Hoover dam "Has anyone ever skateboarded down it?".
milesmac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How come there was no monkey?"
Me: ... pardon?
"There was no monkey in that video. There was supposed to be a monkey."
Me: ... I still don't...
"You know when that kong monkey grabs the girl and climbs the..."
Me: ahh.. this was a documentary on Genghis Khan
Poor soul spent 30 minutes wondering where the monkey was.
Math here,
Give the lesson, do example, have them do example, give out worksheet. any questions?
"So you just want us to fill this thing in with random numbers?"
Speechless.
(Slightly apocryphal)
Years ago, while a professor was discussing ancient Greece, a student asked, "why do the dates gets smaller as we go forward?" Apparently he had no idea what BC(E) means.
As a basketball coach I drew up a play for one of the kids. Wanting to put him on the right side of the court for his shot I asked him "your right handed, right?" And he responds "I shoot with my right but dribble with my left" :/
Needless to say I drew up a play for a different kid
I was in a astronomy 101 at University of Pittsburgh. So jsut general stuff. This young fella raises his hand and asked "Isn't space just like a giant Pluto?" I don't remember that prof's answer as I was to stunned and confused by his question. I don't know if he was on drugs or what?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you do this even though you don't get paid and are treated like garbage?
Not a teacher but I swear last semester in college in one of the hardest programs in the country(Canada) we had the most idiotic and most stupid mofo in our class. Always asking obviously clear questions, teachers always trying to ignore his bs. But one in particular question was in English where the teacher was talking about our final exam being off campus...
His question I kid you not was..."what does off campus mean?" Lost all faith then after
After some give you hell for the whole week and you tell them they wont get any free time at the end of Friday but they have to finish the work they haven't done, there is always one who will ask: "What did I do?!" In my head, the answer is: "Where do I start from, you little shit..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the constellations are giant images of things like bears, dragons, etc. in the sky (9th grade.)
A friend of mine told me that one of his classmates had to ask the math teacher what are fractions and how do you add and subbtract them. This was in High School
scdurs63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew college students that couldn't do it.
Peydey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here:
In the middle of AP Biology as the teacher is talking about the Krep's Cycle a girl raises her hand and asks, "What about vaginas?"
The whole class was busted into laughter absolutely confused what the hell she was asking about, and the teacher (whom I respect immensely) held a perfectly straight face and asks, "what do you want to know?"
That is literally all the context, it was that odd, and absolutely hilarious.
KefkaZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman in high school in Michigan (less than an hour from the border): "Wait, is Canada a country?"
-_loki_- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, they had movies in the 1960s???
When did the world stop being black and white and turn color? (Giving benefit of the doubt here and assuming they meant pictures and/or movies, but the phrasing was hilarious)
Is Africa a country? They always think Africa is a country. Always.
Who stole the idea of building a wall? The Chinese for the Great Wall or the Germans for Berlin Wall? (As in, one of the two stole the idea from the other... who is it? benefit of the doubt that he was asking which Wall came first)
I have more but these are the ones that sprung to mind. I teach high school level btw.
I once was explaining to 11th grade summer school students that sharks bite surfers because they often mistake them for their favorite food, seals. When they realize human does not taste like a seal they often do not bite again. Girl says really obnoxiously and totally seriously, "How do you know what sharks like to taste? You're not a shark!" I paused for a moment and said, "In 15 years of teaching, that is stupidest thing any student has ever said to me."
two_what ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One day this student, who I'd been bending over backwards to try and get caught up in class and up to speed, seemed to have a question burning him up. Eventually we get to a point that he comes up to me and asks me this question: "how do you roll your sleeves up so they look like that?"
After that I was just spent on the kid, not even a single thought of his was on classwork ever, at that point I just diverted my time to kids who cared about the content.
Thunar13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was taking my sat in high school someone asked "how do you write a big i in cursive"
My favorite was on a field trip and while we were on the bus we passed over a river. Some kids started talking about the river and one kid says "Is it edible to swim in?" No one knew how to respond to that lol.
Stamos22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were passing through Gettysburg while on a tour with the school rugby team. I was on the mic giving a quick history lesson about the battle when one of the students (a grade twelve no less) asks in all seriousness "wait, has this battle happened yet?"
The entire bus was silent for a long while.
Fun fact said student is now attending one of the most prestigious business programs in the country. Pray for us all.
Had a girl in one of my legal classes sincerely ask if it's still classed as rape if you have an orgasm.
She wasn't the brightest spark to say the least.
26summer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me if the specified margins had to be applied to every page on their paper.
I'm not a teacher, but one time a girl asked "We live on the west coast, right?" (we lived on the east coast). Then when someone corrected her, she said "SHUT UP I KNOW MY GEOMETRY"
On two occasions I have been asked,
"Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?"
In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.
Entry level EMT class in the Army. We're going over an exam and discussing questions we got wrong with an instructor. One question was about the appropriate isolation precautions for a patient with active tuberculosis. The appropriate answer was a surgical mask on the patient and N95 mask for the medical personnel.
Well one soldier raised his hand, stood up and asked "Sergeant, if we put a surgical mask on the patient, and take the patient to the hospital, won't the hospital think the patient is a surgeon?"
I had a physics teacher in high school who was well known for constantly saying "There are no stupid questions." In my senior year, a small group of us signed up for an astrophysics class he was teaching.
Because it was such a small group, he offered to help us study for our finals, with the caveat that he would get to choose the music during the study session. His choice? New Model Army's "Stupid Questions," which has the lyric "Don't ask any more stupid questions."
When I was in China I used to teach English to Chinese University students to make some money. When I open a map of the world on my computer to teach the countries probably 80% of them would ask which one is China. These are students of Zhejiang University which is one of the top universities in China.
I think its just the way students are taught in China, everything is memorizing written information. There's no visual learning.
Not a teacher, but in middle school my history teacher was telling how he experienced Hurricane Andrew first hand then a girl in the back asked if he survived
mod3ra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher assistant and a student once said "which way is north?" We went over this numerous times in class, thinking he's a troll.
Tim-92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, how do you spell GCSE? "
Aznloli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there's so much salt in the ocean, then where's all the pepper?
I'm a bio teacher now, but I worked with high school students in an alternative program for awhile. One, who was an 18 yo father asked, "Does my daughter look just like me because her mom and I had a bunch of unprotected sex while she was pregnant? Is it because I came in her all the time?"
First of all, way too much information. Second, no.
Not a teacher, but I'm pretty sure I heard the stupidest possible question when I was in high school. I was in 10th grade biology and we were learning about characteristics of life. Things like your body regulating itself, having sense, requiring energy, etc. To get an idea of what characteristics are mandatory or at least common in living things the teacher asked us to name some things we knew were alive. People gave the answers you'd expect like cats, dogs, cows, sharks, bugs, we might have gotten as deep as bacteria or viruses, and then one kid said (I fuck you not), "Are rocks alive?" Everyone slowly turned around and looked at the guy. I don't think I've ever seen a teacher try so hard not to laugh. And no, he wasn't joking, he asked dumb questions a lot but never anything that was this blatantly stupid.
Student: "So mista, was Shakespeare's time back when they had, like, castles and dragons and everything?"
Me: "You mean like everyone was walking their pet dragons around?"
Student: "Yeah."
Me: "Ah, no, that's more medieval times, which was like 0 - 1300. Shakespeare was in the 1600s."
Student: "Zero, no way. That was like cavemen and stuff."
Me: [pause] "Good luck on that Global History final exam."
Student: "Huh? I already passed that."
A lot of the time, it's usually kids hearing stuff from their parents and trying to phrase it into their own words.
I once had a Grade 11 student ask me why socialism was a thing after the 'BC Ferries fiasco'. When I asked him to explain his understanding of the event, he admitted to me later privately that he didn't know, but had heard things in his house that made the NDP to look like 'evil radicals' (his words).
We spent the next day talking about provincial governments. It was a good learning experience, but I'll never forget the day a kid told me in total confidence the NDP were a bunch of Commies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher but in my college geology class when we got around to dinosaurs a girl raised her hand and asked, "How do you know? Did the humans from back then write it down?" I think her question was in reference to did dinosaurs really exist.
gommel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my fellow students in grade nine asked if Mexico was apart of Canada
Student: "Mista, we're reading MacBeth. That shit is mad boring. Did you ever read MacBeth?"
Me: "Yeah, I read it in middle school."
Student: "Middle school (eyes wide)? Damn, that book must be old."
Dizi4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was in a class in which a student asked the teacher if you can get addicted to Cyanide pills
I had a student ask me if the world map hanging on a wall outside the room was correct. When I asked him why he thought it was wrong, he said "Well Alaska is, on here, it's up in Canada but isn't it an island out near
Hawaii?"
Turns out he had never looked at a globe or a full world map so he had always seen the USA with those inserts just off the west coast showing Hawaii and Alaska and had just assumed both to be islands.
h3rb13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were on a camping trip and I wanted to install a hammock. I asked a couple of students where they'd like it. They pointed to a bunch of trees. I selected two and asked them: "These two?" One of them asked: "Are you sure they're exactly opposite of eachother?"
I got a question from a 12 year old student, that is more ridiculous than stupid.
I could see him sitting there pondering things for a solid minute, he then turned to me and said: "Sir? Did humans name the planets?"
It was one of those "wait, what, how do I even begin to figure out where this question even came from" moments. It's not really a problem with his physics, it's not an English question, like "why are they named what they are" or something. It was just absurd.
Not a teacher, but had a fellow student ask a teacher why she can sometimes see the moon and the sun at the same time. It turns out she thought the sun and the moon were the same, just two different sides of the same object. The teacher had to draw a model of the solar system on the board to show that the sun is like a billion times bigger and farther away than the moon. She never truly lived that one down.
slopez13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in middle school a group of Sex Ed teachers were giving a presentation to my grade in our auditorium. One of the educators brings up the topic of flavored condoms and one of the kids in our grade raises his hand and asks, "can you taste the flavor on the condom?" เฒ _เฒ
Not a teacher, but used to tutor graduate level biochemistry. Had a graduate student ask me "why does hydrogen bond to hydrogen?". For clarification, this child already had a bachelor's degree in some sort of science to be in this program... which means that she'd already had AT LEAST two inorganic chemistries and two organic chemistries and one prior biochemistry. I don't know what university she went to for undergrad, but they failed miserably at one of the most basic elements of chemistry. I quit tutoring immediately following that session. She taught me that I cannot teach someone from the ground-up, that far into their education.
alexc648 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a pre-shool student to a family member "why is the moon out in the day" funny thing is she had no idea what the answer was
Two girls in my geography: 1 thought France was a county in England another thought is was its own country but part of the UK. That's what you get when you are told Britain is the best place. (Btw British school)
I'm not a teacher but in my AP bio class we were talking about narwhals and some girl said "wait, narwhals are real?" I could not handle how dumb this question was and how dumb this girl was. She's a senior in high school, is in all AP classes, and has gone 18 years without knowing narwhals are real
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright, does anyone have any questions?"
"What's an eptopic pregnancy?"
We had literally just finished a 10 minute explaination about eptopic pregnancies. We even had books opened with diagrams and explanations in front of us.
The flipside: My Health teacher ("Coach" of course) told the class that water is the most fattening thing you can put in your body but since you can't live without it "what you gonna do?"
When my hubby was an innocent wee six year old once asked in class who the Vikings were.
The teacher responded that they were warriors.
After thinking for a minute he asked "what did they worry about?"
Had me in stitches when he hid while his mum told me this story.
kvyoung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Undergrad Human anatomy lab, with cadavers. First day of examining the muscles and a girl comments, "I don't know why, but those muscles really remind me of meat." I'm patient, so I simply explain that human muscles are not fundamentally different from the muscles of cows or any other animal. She then exclaims,"Wait, What? You mean when we eat meat we are eating muscle?"
My anecdote is actually a time I asked a stupid question. When I was about 6 or 7, I'd go to work with my Dad in the summer because he worked outside framing houses. One time during a lunch break I was talking with my Dad's coworkers who moved to America from England. This was probably my first experience talking to someone from another country so I innocently asked him,
"If you're from England why don't you speak English?"
I didn't yet understand that the language I thought was 'American' was actually English. I thought only people from England spoke English.
I_Zeig_I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If black people are from Africa, how do they speak English?"
-Girl in my class back in high school
luc50631 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in health class, talking about weed, the teacher brought up how it can kill of sperm or make produce less (can't really remember) but one of the potheads in our class asked if that meant he didn't need a condom
axdnjn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4th grade astronomy. Talking about Jupiter being 11 times the diameter and 1,300 times the volume of Earth. Right after I explained that concept, a kid asked if it could fit in our classroom.
I wasn't the teacher but I was there for this: "Hello, I am Miss Blabla, your substitute teacher, your ordinary teacher Miss Blahablaha will not be back for a few weeks, she has hit the wall". This girl asks "What? Did she not see the wall?"
Kejii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7th grade teacher and during a discussion about poaching in Africa a student asked me if I "beat my meat" ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm well I guess there's a reason I went into the sciences, plus I just finished driving my parents to the airport at 4 in the morning. But you wouldn't know about that you just complain about grammar on the Internet.
Not a teacher, but never forgot this from high school. We were going through a grammar assignment with in 9th grade. The lesson was on comma placement, and the example sentence was "The colors of the American flag are, namely, red, white, and blue."
A girl raised her hand and asked, "Is 'namely' a color?"
To understand the stupidity of the questions first you have to understand the meaning of Arbitrage in a financial context;
the simultaneous purchase and sale of the same securities, commodities, or foreign exchange in different markets to profit from unequal prices.
So we are in a 4th year Finance degree courts for derivatives after a long and extremely difficult final exam, the professor was wanted some feedback on the exam. Now note - the majority of the semester was spent on learning about arbitrage. A studious student who always sat near the front raises his hand and asks " How about that negative Arbitrage question huh ?" professor facepalmed and realized he had failed as a professor - collective outbursts of laughter.
oyvho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking as a teacher to be: Yes, there are stupid questions. There are, however, no pointless questions. All questions are learning opportunities.
Not a teacher, but a student myself. The guy sit next to me in tuition class once tell me: "It is 6:50pm." after looking at the clock on the wall. I was confused because the class started at 5:30pm and ends at 7:00pm, and I thought it was only about 20 minutes after the class started.
So I looked at the clock, it says 5:50pm. I tell him: "It clearly says 5:50pm" And he says:"No you dumb fuck, it is 6:50pm, the damn hour hand is pointing at 6." Of course it is not, it is close to 6 because the it is almost 6pm.
The best part is he somehow didn't notices that if we follows his "time" the class could have ended in 10 minutes, instead, it goes on for 1 more hour.
ambut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I have WAY too many of these and unfortunately I don't have a single compendium of idiotic questions. This year, I have one student in particular who asks the most insane, out-of-left-field shit all the time. My favorite, at least so far, has been this:
Me: writes notes on board, including one word much larger than the others for emphasis
Student: "Do we have to write it in big?"
I like to imagine that his pen has multiple settings, like those multi-color clicky pens, and one of those settings is "big". I still bring it up at least once a week. He's got to be so sick of my shit at this point.
Student: Did the world used to be black and white?
Me:...what?
Student: well all the old pictures and movies were black and white. Where did the color go?
Edit: forgot to add, this girl was in 8th grade
For every stupid question asked in class, about 95% of the observers are not teachers.
"Not a teacher, but..."
Peketu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turning things around.
I live in a EU country, and my teacher was making fun of americans being bad at pointing very basic countries of the EU, then I said.
"But teacher, the USA are bigger than the EU and have a lot of states. I could even point the Ohio State in the map. Could you?"
I must admit that the teacher accepted his error.
Kurbz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a question, but my father (a teacher) loved telling a story about a young, high school girl who went through an entire conversation about BJ's (the restaurant) without realizing that saying "I love BJs" was hilarious to literally everyone else.
Teaching a beaver Scout when one of the kids comes up to me and complains that he's hungry. We made fruit kebabs that day and there was some fruit left over so I said
"Ok, you can have some grapes"
hands child the a pot with a few grapes in
Child looks confused and asks "sooooo... what do I do with them?"
I'm not a teacher, but I once heard a college student ask Professor Neil DeGrasse Tyson what the speed of darkness was. He just kind of face palmed and went to the next question.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do islands float?
cadme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did Captain Cook fit under the Sydney Harbour Bridge?
When I was a senior in high school, this girl asked if oranges grew on trees. I'll never forget my teacher's answer.
"Yes oranges grow on trees! This is shit you need to know!"
bmage99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, however... During a masters level networking class, a student was adament that data packets would travel faster to/from the internet if there were more of them. The additional packets would cause pressure like water does through a pipe and flow more quickly.
A worried girl asked if cancer could run in families because her grandfather had prostate cancer. When the class roasted her she said "maybe it was cervical cancer.". 11th grade.
The student in a college music appreciation class asked it in total earnest, and had spent a LOT of time thinking about it. I still am not clear how or why the student chose these two public figures to compare/contast.
Of the 30ish other students in the room, two others were very keen to explore the topic (which I shut down quickly). The remaining students had this collective eyeroll I had never seen before, nor experienced since
Not a teacher, but in History class after talking about the civil war, a guy in my class asked "Who won?". Then, not even a minute after he asked another girl piped up "Yeah, who won?"
Not a teacher, but I cringe whenever a student asks a prof "does spelling count?" This is in university history and english classes.
flatlas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This did not happen in a class I was teaching, but a college student asked our astronomy professor if people can make a black hole in a lab. This was right after he told the class it takes 25+ solar masses to make a black hole, and described what would happen to a person who was unfortunate enough to get pulled into one.
dghughes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the student read about micro singularities hypothetical but certainly not science fiction. But we won't be making any of them anytime soon.
thurgoft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this a stupid question?"
Brondog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a techer but this happened while visiting some relatives that live in the middle of nowhere, Brazil.
"Cousin Brondog, is mozzarella cheese?"
"Yes."
Her dad: "No it's not! Cheese is cheese and mozzarella is mozzarella."
We later went to the supermarket and I got a tray of mozzarella and asked him to read the little description of the kind of cheese that was inside that package. He was not happy to see me for a few years after that. Me and mom still joke about it once in a while.
I taught Spanish in grad school. This wasn't in my class, but one of my colleagues said one of his students asked, "how do you say tacos in Spanish?"
I could only imagine the look on his face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
University teacher at a business school. Had a student (freshmen) once ask me why companies didn't just raise salaries until their workers were happy. I wish I could have seen my own face; another student later told me I looked like I couldn't decide whether to believe the question was real or not. Fun fact: I was, in truth, trying to figure out how something so basic, at the age of 18, could be not understood.
My gf is a teacher, and I'd have to say the "when are we ever gonna use this" question is pretty dumb. She gets it pretty much at every unit.
God damn it kids, quit asking that stupid question, you're going to use it on the test, on the exam, and then your dumb ass is never going to use it again cuz you're going to work multiple retail jobs until you land a position as an office receptionist and maybe a secretary if you're lucky where you're going to be helping people who actually bothered to learn how to solve problems.
mognats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But my math teacher in high school was showing her nephews pictures to the class from their vacation. A kid raises his hand and asks. "why are they black?"
College GTA here: I once asked who Thomas Jefferson was in a HIST 2010 class. One student calmly raised his hand full of confidence and replied "He freed the slaves" Safe to say we had a long talk about the founding fathers.
When I was in elementary school (probably 1st, 2nd, or 3rd grade), we were being taught latitude and longitude. The mnemonic device that the teacher used for us to remember the direction of the two was: latitude, fatitude - fat is wide and so is latitude. So apparently that's was taught incorrectly, but let's keep going.
Fast forward a few years. I'm sitting in class and the teacher asks us what a mnemonic device is.
Thinking that this was my time to shine, I raise my hand and ask her, "is that like, latitude-fatitude?"
Cue eruption of laughter and I get sent to the office for being disruptive.
TLDR: Latitude-fatitude apparently I have an attitude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learning about Sir Isaac Newton, teacher tells us that he invented modern Calculus, girl in my class raises her hand and asks "Wait but did he invent Pre-Calculus too?"
I'm not a teacher but in one of my science classes years ago the teacher asked a girl why she thought we had such a complete fossil record (or something along those lines) and the girl legitimately said that coffins help preserve the bones. This chick thought dinosaurs buried their dead in coffins... Also not really a question but still
A girl in my high school refused to believe that whales are "real". To her, they just seemed too big.
Legit thought they were scientists in "whale submarines" or something like that.
sfp33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in a seventh grade science class our teacher taught us that the core of Jupiter was basically a big diamond because the pressure of the atmosphere was so immense. Someone in our class asked if we could build a rocket ship to go yank the diamond out of the middle of Jupiter
Not a teacher, but last year in my gcse (15/16 years old) physics class we were doing simple distance time graphs. I was told to explain how to work out the distance travelled to someone and i told him to work out the area of a right angled triangle given the base and height. He did not know what i was talking about.
4i6y6c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. but someone once said to me "fuck you" and i replied with "metaphorically?". It was totally lost on them as they didn't know what a metaphor was. God only knows why I tried to explain it to them.
gronke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in 10th grade we had a "Countries of North America" quiz.
A few students didn't get 100%.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gronke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They wrote South America instead of Mexico.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when I was in highschool freshman wrestling we had someone on our team, seriously ask "when do we pick out our theme music?" The lecture from coach on how pro wrestling has ruined the minds of the youth was epic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my beginning guitar students asked, "When are we gonna play a fast song?" I told him that any song could be fast. He was like, "Really? Nuh-uh!" I played the piece he was limping through at a fast tempo, and it literally blew his mind. Like, "Wow......"
Not a teacher, but in an AP English class, a friend an I convinced the principals daughter that the platypus evolved from dragons. She proceeded to ask the teacher, and got only a disappointed look as an answer.
Not a teacher: a friend of mine had a TEACHER tell him that Slumdog millionaire was based on a true story
deuteros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but my high school Spanish class was taught by a woman from Colombia. This guy in my class asked her in all seriousness if people from Colombia lived in trees. The teacher was not happy.
Not a teacher, but when I was in grammar school some of my classmates had some gems:
"Is Plato famous for inventing Play-Doh?"
Also, after a few weeks of studying Colonial America, someone asked if Texas was one of the 13 colonies. This was after a few weeks of talking about Colonial America, a test where we had to label the 13 colonies, and I believe we were past the Revolutionary War already.
I did a science video for my little sisters (she's a teacher) class (kids around 6 yrs old). In it, i explained the cool elements of science very broadly and had them send me their own questions for the end, i told them some of my favorite things, dinosaurs, sharks, space. One kid called Luke asked me "if dinosaurs were alive today, could a dinosaur be a human?"
Not in my class, and not a question, but a coworker was showing his history class pictures of his vacation to Italy (historical monuments, landscapes, etc) and a 9th grade student said "Mr. Whatever, I didn't know you were an astronaut."
I was in a class with a very clueless girl. This was the last year of biology so everyone is meant to know their stuff. She starts the question as "sir, you know when babies are in the stomach..." he cuts her off and just walks out the room.
Was she really asking if it's considered a "southern" state (Alabama, Georgia, confederate flag, etc.) and all the connotations that go along with it? For instance, Florida and Texas are southern states, but not "southern" states.
Nice, reminds me of one of the smartest girls in my AP classes. Had a mid life crisis and became a porn star (Cherie Deville) two years ago or so. Makes catching up with friends fun\awkward; hey did you see that <real name here> has moved on from being ass fucked by lesbians to ass fucked by black dudes?
The other side of the coin. I had a high school science teacher argue with that a baseboard radiator heats a room by radiation, and only radiation, he very firmly believed this because of that wasn't true, they wouldn't have called them radiators.
[Not a teacher] - Sex ed in a class full of 15 year olds. One of the kids asked, "What's the best protection?"
Teacher: "Abstinence."
Him: "Where can I buy it?"
Everyone began laughing. It wouldn't have been bad if the teacher literally didn't just talk about abstinence right before he asked that. He wasn't known to be the kid who would pay attention. Poor guy went red and stayed quiet.
Story from my wife, a HS English teacher. She tells some kids to stop saying gypped, because it's basically a slur against gypsies / Romanians and the school has a lot of kids from east Europe. The kid says that it isn't offensive because gypsies aren't real. The kid thought gypsies were an entirely made-up thing.
I'm not a teacher but a girl in my high-school class asked the teacher who wrote the diary of Anne Frank. She sounded serious too, considering no one laughed...
buggy65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was an instructor for Calculus during my grad school years.
This one is a little unfair since it was an exchange student, so I don't really hold it against her, I just remember it as being funny at the time. A problem involving perimeter had the students build a fence of optimal area. She didn't know what a "fence" was, and I had to try and explain it in a way that didn't explicitly tell her which formula to use (I gave them all cheat sheets). It just stuck in my mind as "How the heck do I explain what a fence is?"
One example that I do not feel bad about was not a student, but my ex. I told her I wanted to take a road trip to Alaska, and she was confused on how I could get my car there. She thought Alaska was an island out by Hawaii. She was 23.
I am not a teacher and this is teacher asking the question but I thought I would share. When I was a student I remember this conversation trying to explain fractions/decimals between a maths teacher a particularly academically challenged student.
Teacher: What's half 15?
Pupil: I don't know.
Teacher: What's half 14?
Pupil:Pauses ... I don't know.
Teacher: You know what half 14 is. Teacher takes our 14 counters. If you split these counters into two groups of same size how many would be in one group?
Pupil:shakes head
Teacher:In despair Half 14 is just one of those things people know intuitively, like the capital of France.
Pupil: ... Spain?
At this point the class were struggling to hide there bemusement. Kid was 14 years old and this in the UK. Scares me to think that guy and others like him have been able to legally vote for the past decade.
bs13690 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That teacher sounds like kind of a dick. If someone knew it intuitively, it wouldn't have to be taught.
He was a bit of an asshole but he was also a pretty good teacher.
He was just deeply and hopelessly frustrated with the kid. Couldn't seem to grasp simple arithmetic concepts.
corrieh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But this doesn't sound like 2nd grade.
bs13690 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it doesn't. But it's still not the right use of the word intuitively. Also, the capital of France is not something you could know intuitively. So maybe he just doesn't know what that word means.
"You should have learned this a long time ago" would be much more appropriate, IMO. Really, the best thing to do would be figure out after class where the kid is deficient rather than calling him out on it. That's why I made the comment about the teacher being an asshole. It's not the kid's fault that the system let him slide through without knowing basic knowledge.
...Scene: 8th Grade Health class.
Topic of discussion: CPR
Student A: "I think you can give CPR to a cow because I saw my uncle give mouth to mouth to a cow once after it was born."
Me: ...
Student B: "Wait, so if we can't see air, can fish see water?"
So I'm not a teacher but I remember the dumbest question in high school. Background, it was AP World History we were studying the revolutionary war. The kid asks the teacher " Why wasn't there any Air Force in the revolutionary war?" And it blew my mind
weiguxp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was a middle school science teacher -- I always got a kick out of this one: He had a student come up to him in the middle of a test and ask "Sir, what is Torf? It says to write Torf for each of these statements." T or F. There were no kerning or space issues.
I teach Computing to high school kids aged 11-16. A student asks what Wi-fi stands for? I tell her it doesn't stand for anything, unlike HiFi which stands for High Fidelity. I.E. True to the original sound. Her peer follows up with, "what does infidelity mean then?"
I had to go into the etymology of the word fidelity...Old French and Latin.
_clayten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was Barack Obama ever a slave?"
ThalesCM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why the Dead Sea has a high rate of buoyancy?"
My cousin answered: Because the sea is dead, so if it doesn't have fish, it leaves more room for the boat to float.
I once had a discussion about climate change with a grade 11 geography class last October. Trump came up in the discussion and I asked the class of 28 kids how many knew of Donald Trump and his plans.
2 put their hands up.
I jokingly said, "OK, who has heard of Donald Trump."
2 put their hands up.
Further discussion revealed that those remaining 26 kids were really that out of touch. Too much time buried in cell phones and reading about Selena Gomez or the Kardashians or some shit.
Not a teacher but when I was in high school (about 15) a girl in my class was talking loudly at the back of class, sounding pretty upset. When the teacher asked her what she was talking about she said
'Miss, can you tell them to stop - they keep saying wolves are real'
So the teacher explained to her that wolves are real. The girl then put her hand up
'So are owls real as well?'
Apparently she thought because owls were in Harry Potter they weren't real
(We live in England...there are lots of owls here)
Obligatory "not a teacher"/will probably get buried, but I'll never forget the stupidest question I ever heard someone ask.
We were juniors in high school, and a girl in my general level science class asked the teacher why maple syrup wasn't an element on the Periodic Table because, and I quote, "all that's in it is syrup."
He stared at her in silence for a moment until it became clear that she wasn't joking.
We had some real gems in that class, but I'll never forget you, Jade, you dumb, dumb girl.
This one the teacher asked the students a few weeks ago:
"Anyone know who the current vice president is?"
(Silence)
"Me neither someone google it"
defdrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl once asked me, when we got to the final chapter of To Kill a Mockingbird, why they decided to use a talking dog as the main character. In her defense, I had never expressly stated that Scout was not a talking dog.
I had a kid in class try to tell the rest of the students that pineapples grow from the ground. Would not believe me when I corrected him and told him that they grow on trees.
Dabernie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well uh... sorry to break this to you but you may owe that student an apology, they grow very close to the ground, and most definitely not from a large tree like, say an apple.
I had a 6th grade student ask "How did they get to the moon? They launched during the day and the moon is gone during the day. Wouldn't they run into the sun instead?!"
ryan2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was on a tour of Alcatraz prison in high school:
"So is there water completely around the island?"
Not a teacher, but when our highschool class took a trip to the observatory and were being given a talk on the solar system by some of the researchers there, one of the girls pointed at the drawing of the solar system and asked "Who took that photo?"
Endyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The quietest kid who doesn't have many friends asked this once...
Me: You'll have a sub tomorrow
Him: uh like a meatball sub?
This chick in my social class asked, "how do whales fit in the ocean?" She was serious...
heidrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, not a teacher but I still think about this question from high school 10+ years ago. In my chemistry class we were learning about valence electrons. This involves different layers of orbits of electrons written with different letters that correspond to them. The point is, almost an hour into this class, she writes a valence configuration on the board, something like 2s 3p 4d. This girl in my class raises her hand and says: "But we can't see in 4D, right? Like, we don't have the technology yet?"
Stmuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best friend is a teacher. She was explaining to her high school students that different countries have their own version of sign language, which is why we call ours American Sign Language. A different student overhears and asks "why don't they just speak English?"
This was the same girl who put on a presentation with a map of the U.S. And said "this is a map of the world."
Not a teacher but my buddy and I were in junior year of high school conceptual physics. Basically physics without the numbers so anyway he asked which was closer to earth the sun or the moon for a test question I just cracked up and the teacher asked if he was serious (he was). That teacher used to basically call me and my buddy worthless (and he was being serious) but jokes on that guy cause my buddy makes like 200k a year and I do pretty well for my self to so fuck that guy.
Ylleigg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student best one I ever heard was: sir if an atomic bomb would land at the other end of the court would we be dead? End of the court was about 100-150m far away. Second best one was: wait didn't the romans live in caves?
We were discussing the differences between acids and bases in my AP chem class and a student asked if a fish was a base. I'm pretty sure she's about to go to Med school now.
Not a teacher, but one of my classmates in college, an out of state student, argued with my teacher saying, "Are you sure there are 50 states? I believe there are 51."
My teacher, trying not to be rude, said, "I believe there are 50 states in the US, but I will look tonight and have the answer for you tomorrow."
Maybe not dumb but definitely random since I didn't talk much in school but I asked how important you have to be before its considered assassination instead of murder. I never got my answer.
Adlehyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a general rule of thumb is if the victim is a politician or public figure and is killed for political reasons, it is generally called an assassination.
I figured as much but what if it was say a mayor or a county politician? Would that be an assassination or does mostly depend on motive?
Adlehyde ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
motive.
Random asshole shoots the mayor because he's drunk. manslaughter.
Random asshole shoots the mayor because the mayor slept with his wife? Murder.
Specific asshole shoots the mayor because he's going to run for governor? Technically assassination, especially if paid to do so. Might still get called murder.
Keep going up the chain and you find if anyone were to kill a president, regardless of motive, they would probably call it assassination anyway, even if it's not politically motivated.
Not a teacher but someone in my class asked this after we were learning about pioneers and settlers. The teacher brought up wood stoves. He asked "wouldn't a wood stove burn?"
When I was a T.A. at a structural engineering faculty, I tasked the students with a simple test on a small 30 cm long steel bar. One of the steps involved weighing the bar on a scale, you wouldn't think anyone would fuck that up.
Later when they handed in their lab form, one student weighed the bar at 6 tons (consider that the average car weighs like 2 tons), I still dont understand how he got that number.
I teach English to French high school students.
I once had a student ask me how to say Johnny Depp in English.
A girl asked how to say "India" in English, which is not stupid in itself, since the French name for the country is slightly different. We had been talking about India for like two weeks, and the word was written on the white board.
A 9th grader once asked me where Norway was on a map of Europe. Im swedish.
An 8th grader stated with full conviction (this was a class about dna and genetics) that people that are born in Sweden automatically become light skinned. The look on her black friends face was priceless.
These are the best (worst) but I get weird questions every week..
There are way too many when it comes to being a science teacher, but I don't consider them to be dumb questions just misinformed their whole life. Some of my favorite responses every year in biology for 8th graders is when I ask, " What are humans composed of ?" Each year responses are always great they have included ( dirt, ribs, hamburger meat, and chicken....yes chicken)
Not a teacher, but we were studying space in grade 9 science and about half way through the unit, during a work period, this one girl asked the teacher aloud, "What is the difference between the solar system and the universe?" He just stared in disbelief for a few seconds and then, after making sure she was serious, began slowly explaining it to her with the help of the blackboard.
College level biology 2 class. We had been learning the reproductive cycles for plants for about 2 months at this point and this girl just raised her hand and asks "are fruits plants?". The teacher had no idea how to even start the answer to that.
MikeyzP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the last year of my degree, and I'm both surprised and frustrated that people still ask the teacher 'How long does it have to be?' Surely you can use your own discretion now for fuck sake.
It was at a week long outdoor camp for 6th graders. We were going on a night hike and were all looking up at the sky. One of the students asked "which one is earth?"
kuzqo96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school in physics we were going over a question that involved a cat burglar. The girl next to me asked, "Why on Earth would someone burgle a cat?"
M4DM1ND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't really a dumb question but a series. I was student teaching in a reading intervention class at a middle school. This class was specially formed for kids who are way below the average reading level. There were three different groups in this class of ranging reading levels. I entered the class late but apparently they were all at the same level when they started so the kids at the higher level were really impressive that they made so much progress. Anyway, I worked with the lowest level the most. These kids 12-13 years old, not special needs, were reading those 5-10 picture books that you'd find in a kindergarten class room. This took them all class and I helped them through every syllable and they had to write little responses after each one. They were asking me how to spell "the" with sincerity. The whole experience was heartbreaking. It wasn't their fault that they weren't exposed to reading early. I could tell most of them came from broken homes and the signs of neglect made me sick. I really bonded with some of those kids and I hope they are doing well.
Also off topic but interesting. One of the kids in the lowest level was a first generation Hmong student and even though he couldn't read or spell very well, he wrote in beautiful cursive. I'm talking like something you'd see on documents from the 17-1800s. It was crazy.
Not a teacher, but my 10th grade biology teacher was once explaining that when african babies are born, they're actually not born completely black but a little lighter and develop their skin tone within the first few hours of their life. One guy in my class goes "So if a white couple gets their baby delivered in Africa, does the baby turn black too?"
Not me, but I played in a band with a retired college professor. He once had a student in their mid-20s ask "How did the underground railroad deal with all the smoke that would have been trapped in the tunnels?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lady in her early 50s thought that Unicorns were an extinct species. They used to coexist with humans and we used to ride them. She was teaching support.
A lady in her early 20s asked where wood came from. She thought it was man made. Her father was a carpenter.
I was sitting in a 200 level engineering class in college (dynamics for what it's worth) and a fellow student asked if it was "fair to assume that gravity actually exists and isn't just something that Newton invented?"
Not a teacher, but I took a geology class last semester at my university, and our professor was going over the 8 most abundant elements on earth (oxygen, silicon, etc.) Some guy behind me, probably in his 30s, asked if gold and silver are the 9th and 10th most common elements. Our professor's response was "They are known as 'precious metals' for a reason."
njaeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If a teacher have students asking these types of question, the teacher is not doing a good job.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that makes sense, and he is from Florida where their subway is elevated,which I'm aware of the reason, it was the way he said it that made me think the former.
In my 8th grade bio class my teacher was talking about the Industrial Revolution and one of my classmates asked "What year did that war occur".
She was a nice enough person though.
Not a teacher but one of the best ones I have heard was during a review session for a test in my Physics 1 class from college. The first test was primarily on kinematics and some other basic physics concepts and towards the end of the session, a student in the back raised their hand and asked "what is velocity?" The room was dead silent for a second, and everyone almost universally turned towards the voice and snickered. I almost felt bad for them except you would literally have to make an effort to be so oblivious to what we were doing in class and homework to not know what velocity was.
The one that springs immediately to mind:
Talking to 10/11 year olds about how the sun is a burning ball of gas and in the distant future it'll run out of fuel. Kids replies "why can't we just get in a spaceship and throw some wood at it?"
Equal parts ridiculous and hilarious!
During sex Ed, the teacher was talking about the girls pee hole in their vagina. A classmate asked if it was possible to accidentally stick your dick in their during sex. The teacher goes " well, it's only the size of a pin hole..." ๐, "... so you're the only person who has to worry about that."
I'm not a teacher, but I go to a university that has a heavy conservative influence. For those of you that do not know, most of them are die hard patriots. One of them (who has an American flag hanging in his room) proceeded to say "aren't there 52 states ? (Counting Hawaii and Alaska)
Student here. Was in class just a few days ago and finished my book when i pulled out the second one. The girl sitting next to me says, 'why are you always reading?' Doesnt suprise me she is failing english.
finix240 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The stupidest question I get asked a lot is "what time is it?" When there is a clock in the class and the kids have phones with time
Had a student running around saying loudly "I'm a virgin! I'm a virgin!" And then asked me if I was a virgin too. When I asked what she meant (she's not one of the sexually aware students so I assumed she'd misunderstood something) she says "you know, like it changes depending on what month you were born in."
Ah yes, Virgo.
2u3e9v ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a Pap Smear?
This was during a choir exam.
C-Gi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One kid thought falling stars were actual stars falling into the atmosphere once.
I'm not a teacher, but a student in my year dared to ask the geography teacher why there were two Pacific Oceans. I don't think she really understood, even when the teacher told her that the one on the left of America and on the right of Asia are the same one. "they're so far from each other!"
Not teacher but student who asked stupid question. It was biology class and the teach was talking about DNA. Mentioned that things of the same species share 99.8% or whatever DNA. Well I had this statement pop into my head. "That means we're all practically the same!" Now I was typically regarded as one of the smart students, and also a smart ass. Got honour roll with out trying, that kinda thing. Well my smart ass blurts it out immediately, no filter at all. Teacher is dumb founded by this statement from a top student. Class stares like I'm a potatoe all of a sudden. As soon as I said it I realized how stupid it was. Still feel the shame of that one.
Girl in my high school senior chemistry class raised her hand mid-lecture and asked the teacher "If I put a jar of mustard in the microwave, will it turn into mustard gas?"
The teacher stared at her for a full five seconds, then turned back to the whiteboard and continued the lecture like nothing happened.
Not a stupid question, but one that revealed a deep disconnect between the student's upbringing and reality: "Wait, where is space is heaven then?" As a public school high school physics teacher, there were many such questions that had to be handled "delicately".
kaelne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th grade pre-algebra: The teacher was explaining that
negative x negative = positive, and that
negative x positive = negative.
Noticing that he'd skipped one combination, I asked, "but what does positive x positive equal?"
I ended up getting top marks on my AP Calculus exam years later.
0mnica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may sound like a stupid question, but actually, while obvious answer for 6th grade, it accounts for all possible outcomes. A good analytical mind.
kaelne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha thanks, I'd like to think that. It was just a stupid case of not thinking something all the way through.
I work as counselor in a school system. At our alternative school (school for kids who are behind on credits, and sometimes have discipline problems) every other Friday they let them watch a movie. The teacher told them the could watch the inauguration last Friday after lunch. One student said, "Oh that sounds cool, what's it about?" Had to explain that it was not movie...
hazza86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've unfortunately had loads! Last week a 14 year old asked if there were little people in our heads controlling us.
A few years ago I had a gem of a student. Sixth form science student. Asked how Scotland was going to be separated from the rest of the UK. She genuinely thought if they voted for independence they would be jettisoned off. There were loads from her, but that was the best!
I was subbing for a geometry class, and passed out the student textbooks titled "basic geometry." One student asked me, "what is this book about?" They were halfway through the year.
Not a teacher, but freshmen year in history we had to create our own presentations on ancient travel routes. For example I did my on the silk roads. One classmate did hers on the continental railroad. Will never forget that. I remember the entire class just staring wide-eyed at this girl like wtf are you talking about.
On September 12th, 2001, a kid in my class went on a long rambling speech about how world war three was about to start and it would be Israel and Palestine against everyone else.
Edit: Also a girl in Spanish class once asked the teacher if Spanish people have to translate things into English when they talk to each other 'because mesa doesn't mean table, table means table'. We were merciless.
Not a teacher but a girl I went to highschool with genuinely believed that I was lying when I said the Queen lives in England. We are Canadian so she thought she was the Queen of Canada, which is technically true, but she thought these were two different people. Had to get a teacher involved.
On Jamie Oliver a whole class of US school kids didn't know what a potato was when shown one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am locksmith at school district. Teachers ask the dumbest questions.
Me: your room is almost ready just have to put some locks on your closet
Teacher: why does my closet need locks?
Me: it doesn't but then the kids will be opening your closet doors then.
Teacher: why does my closet need doors?
Me:.... it doesn't if your ok with kids walking in and out of your closet space.
Teacher: I'm not ok with that.
Me: then we're going to need some doors and locks on your closet.
Also had a science teacher insist that there are only 45 possible key combinations - yes in the world, because 9x5 = 45.
The real formula is closer to 10 to the power of 6 and then multiply that by about 80
Not a teacher but in 8th grade social studies class, I was explaining to a field that Mexico was not in South America but right under the United States. She then asked what countries were in South America, then proceeded to say "well if there's a North America and a South America, shouldn't there be a Middle America?"
Not a teacher, but I was in an 8th grade Sex Ed class where the teacher told us to ask any questions, no matter how vulgar, to clear up any misconceptions we may have. One kid immediately asked, "If I came on the couch and then the cat sat in it, would the cat get pregnant?" The rest of the class had some fun on his behalf after that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another student in my Senior year "Advanced" U.S. Government class in high school asked "Why don't we just like, buy Mexico?"
iccirrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like their dad owns a dealership.
derpages ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in one of my materials and processes exams a student went up to the front of the class and asked the teacher for the formula for the area of a circle.
Worst part is it wasn't even relevant to the exam.
kabes811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a history teacher from NY who taught in FL for one year. One of my students in FL asked if I was going to my home country for Christmas.
I was explaining the difference between obligate anaerobes (require oxygen), obligate anaerobes (cannot tolerate oxygen), and facultative anaerobes (will respire with oxygen, but switch to fermentation in the absence of oxygen).
Student: "Are dolphins facultative anaerobes?"
I should point out that this was a college class, for nursing students.
Neqsis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I once I was on a road trip with a friend and she asked serious as day, "What is the point of these 'Do Not Pass' signs? I mean you have to drive past them... They're right next to the road"
I quickly became uncomfortable with the fact that she was the one driving.
I was teaching one of the first days of Computer Science class and was talking about Ada Lovelace. I asked the students how it was possible that Ada Lovelace was writing code decades before the digital computer was invented.
When nobody responded, I asked: "How is that possible? Was Ada Lovelace a time traveler?" as a joke.
One of my students piped up "Whoa, time travel exists?!?!"
cvsully ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a kid who once asked "What color is the equator?" and was dead serious.
Obligatory not a teacher.
However, in freshman geography class, the teacher was explaining how difficult it was to build the panama canal and a classmate of mine asked, "how come they didn't just build a bridge"?
I then told her why a bridge wouldn't work for ships. She then looked at me like I was stupid and explained to me with her arms how the ships would just go under the bridge.
My career highlight: "Do I put my name where it says name?"
embii42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HIgh School - We were looking at a map of North America. The US and Canada is plainly laid out, but ALaska & Hawaii are in little inserted boxes.
For senior year, I suggested we do a road trip through Canada to Alaska , we live in California.
Response: But Alaska is an island, how do we get there?
I thought it was a joke...I had to have it explained to me.
Apparently because Alaska is in a lil box on the map like Hawaii it mUST be an island.
ryapric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach corporate finance for an MBA program. I had a student ask me via email last week, if they needed to complete 100% of the online homework questions in order to get 100% on the homework assignment itself.
togaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade Ten class, 13-14 year olds, examining the events leading to the outbreak of WW1, specifically the chapter in the book called "The Steps to War".
"OK class. This Friday is your quiz on The Steps to War"
"Whats the quiz on though?"
"...the steps to war...?"
"Yeah, but whats on it?"
"...the steps to war...?"
"but what should we study?"
"...the steps to war...?"
"OK but what topic will it cover?"
"...the steps to war...?"
Every. Damn. Semester.
edited for clarity and add details for folks who don't teach history.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know what this means. A quiz on events and situations that frequently lead to war? Or how to officially declare war?
Caller: Hello? Is this /u/jswilson64, the TA at (university)?
Me: Yes... ?
Caller: Hi, I'm (student)'s mother, and can you explain why (student) got a C in your class?
(I'm the TA, all I do is conduct discussions and grade multiple-choice quizzes, oh, and answer questions from students, of which her kid never asked any)
College freshman course on human sexuality. Upon learning about "contraceptive jelly," a female student got some and ate it on toast to prevent getting pregnant.
A kid, who had been calling me Mr.______ all year asked me what my last name was
argeddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but as a freshman in political science many years ago, I asked a professor if dรฉtente (day-taunt was his pronunciation in class) was the same thing as dรฉtente (day-tentay was my pronunciation based on the reading).
Wow, I was a moron.
catmoles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a TA for an undergraduate organic chemistry class, I had a student ask me where to get dry water.
Not a teacher, but in GCSE geography (14-16) my teacher unexpectedly discovered that basically half the class didn't know what continents were, she proceeded to explain and was then asked "Are India and Russia close to each other?"
My teacher promptly pointed to a world map saying "Well Russia is here, and India is all the way down here" to which the girl asking responded with "So they are close then?"
Not a teacher but when I was in 2nd grade I had an argument in the middle of class with my teacher because I refused to believe Alaska was bigger than Texas. She had to stop the lesson and spent 20mins proving it to me. I think I was even starting to make other class mates question it. I honestly thought that Texas was the biggest state.
Dive Instructor here: I had a student ask me if jellyfish are a real thing and really just 'ghost of some fish'. Found out that his uncle taught him that jellyfish are ghosts of dead fish being trapped underwater. I loved afterwards with him about that and he called his uncle straight after the emergency skill lesson.
I can't imagine the uncles reaction after his 23 year old nephew called him up and revealed that he learned the truth about bloody jellyfish!
"I saw a meme on facebook saying WW3 is starting, is this true"
From a grade 10 social studies advanced student...
JeeroyIV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student in my class wanted to know if Canada was part of Ohio, but in lieu of sounding dumb she convinced her friend to ask for her. Neither of them genuinely knew that Canada was infavt, not part of Ohio.
Not a teacher, but in my Honors US History 1 class a student asked if groundhogs were dangerous.
iccirrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair they can be dangerous, although indirectly. Their burrows can be hard to spot in fields and can easily lead to broken ankles/legs if you're not careful. It's a bit more of a threat to livestock in any case
Not a teacher, but something that happend during university classes.
We discussed the elements of fraud (so, what have to be done to get convicted of fraud) and used the example of tanking gas without paying. In Germany, fraud is when you influence the conciouseness in order to gain something (it is a little bit more complicated, but enough for this story). After that, he tried maybe 20 minutes to explain the teacher how a gasstation (the maschine, not the one on the counter) could have a conciouseness that could be influenced.
KotWmike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking a company training class about document control and the instructor kept referencing RFIs. I raised my hand and said "What's an RFI"? to which he replied, "You just made one".
britblam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was explaining to a class of 7th graders the difference between academic databases and Google. One of the kids asks, "Wait, but if we can't use Google, how do we get to the databases?"
I had a sudden, overwhelming realization that I had to back up and explain the difference between the internet and Google with 3 minutes left till the bell.
Wow.. I feel like I'm floating on top of the gene pool after reading these ๐๐
Lewyso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 9th grader said 'Turtles are mammals right?' The other kids in his group looked at him in shock. I just walked away.
Not a question, but a funny/sad story. A student said something about a human and a donkey could make a baby and it would be called a 'honkey'. I told him that it wasn't true and he said he saw it on the internet. Cue impromptu sex ed lesson. In the same class period, a female student said that men who have sons have 'strong' sperm and men who have girls 'weak' sperm. This got us back to the genetics, which was the original lesson.
After hearing about how the cold makes you sick 5 times in one day, I wrote 'You do not get sick from being outside in the cold.' Every period a student comes in and says 'Really?' and I elaborate and they seem to understand for the most part. One student said I was wrong. That's cool. Her F in biology is looking good right now.
"Hey Mr. NEMSBrewer, I can't remember: is morning "am" or "pm"?
Note: I teach high school sophomores.
zp797 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in culinary school we were making sausage and the recipe called for hog casings. One guy asked the instructor if he could use pork casings instead.
It wasn't a student, but a fellow teacher at a meeting: Who's going to work this Saturday for Saturday school when it's the Democratic caucus?
Principal: The Republicans.
meownna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but as a veterinarian I've had a few clients question the sex of their male pet because he has nipples. Sir... Do YOU have nipples?
State10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach undergrad at a fairly large University, between classes I was discussing Game of Thrones with a couple students. One complained that it was too graphic...the other corrected her by saying "It has to be graphic, they need to maintain historical accuracy, thats how it was back then". I walked away before asking them what year they thought Dragons existed in. (not really a question, but one of the worse statements I've heard in awhile from a student)
jes248 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, not a teacher but this was too funny to not share, even if I'm late.
Intro to Biology, the prof. was discussing the mechanisms that prevent species from interbreeding. He gives the mule as an example of being a sterile hybrid and mentions something about zebra/horses too and how those hybrids are facilitated by humans and wouldnt happen in nature...
"So what does a horse think when it sees a zebra?"
Prof. keeps a straight face trying to understand what the guy meant, but he kept asking what either animal thought of the other. He ends up telling the kid to talk to an animal behavior specialist.
I laugh about it still.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another teacher asked it. We were both taking a course on assessment development, and I used a term, which I've forgotten already, that refers to the situation that the assessment is meant to emulate. We've said it multiple times in class since the beginning of the semester, and it was introduced in the first chapter of our textbook. One day late in the semester I was paired with her to work on a project, and I used the term. "What's [term]?" I explained it to her calmly, but once we were done with the meeting, I split from the group.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait- So, if our skin were green, we wouldn't need to eat anymore?"
robstad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my coworkers had a kids ask, "If the parents are straight, how can they have a kid who's gay?" This was from a high school freshman.
DrSmeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but another student in my high school geography class once deadpan seriously asked during a lesson about the rainforest how big the trees were there and the teacher replied by telling her and she replied by asking "so how long would it take to walk around it then? Like years?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but it was a question that might have turned into the funniest thing I had seen all year in Bio 12. So we were on the circulatory system test and in this certain one for some reason he just let us use anything we could find for resources to find the answers for it. Call it an open book test I guess. Ok so he tells us to start, we aren't allowed to talk still so it's really quiet in the class. I then see this girl who raises her hand to ask the teacher a question. At this point it was probably 30 mins into the test. So I then hear her ask why she wasn't finding any answers or anything even about the subject to the test in her textbook, but I then hear the teacher say to her "You have been looking in the Arthropods section my dear." Took all of me not to burst out laughing.
Not a teacher but I had a classmate ask which continent Asia was in a history class. Worst part was she was born and raised in South Korea. On a similar note a different student in a different class once asked which state of the U.S. Asia was and where Japan was in that state.
I taught ESL to high schoolers for a while, so most of mine are language based.
I had a student my very first day walk in, sit in the front row, then say "Wait, no, I can't sit here, I'm too high!" He then promptly moved to the back. (He meant tall - same word in Chinese.)
I had another student, in the middle of an exam, ask me what grass was.
I had students in my history class who were unable to find China on a map.
A girl in my chemistry class asked our teacher "hey coach Bates, can me melt?", there was an awkward silence and then we all started laughing
Graceae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AP World History at a Magnet School. Dead serious not joking, when talking about U-Boats during WWI "Is this when they discovered Atlantis was discovered?" Every now and again I get a crazy conspiracy kid. She was one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's a continent"? 17 year old girl who later became a prostitute.
Not a teacher but I recall senior year of high school in one of my classes a girl a few seats over asked "can notebooks sweat" this was after lifting up her notebook and finding a little bit of water on the desk which was from the condensation of her water bottle right next to her notebook.
Raneshon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my Geography 12 class we were looking at a map of BC and one of the girls asked "What's Kelwanna?" It was the city of Kelowna she was referring to.
I had a kid once ask how far away Narnia was. I had to tell him Narnia is not a real place, it only exists in fiction like Camelot, Middle Earth, or Australia.
J_T_C_R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was asked "If I put a grape inside a woman's passage hole will it stop pregnancy?"
Told my students that I have colorblind problems with blue and purple, not a second later a student stands up in a blue shirt, "So, you can't see me?!"
High school honors class. We were discussing the sun's temperature when a student asked what the temperature of the sun was at night. Smh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3 months into an electronics technician course on transmission line theory. This was during a discussion on the use of an air dryer to prevent moisture and thus corrosion in waveguides.
Idiot: Raises hand
Instructor: Yes, Idiot?
Idiot: I'm confused, how do they get the water waves into the waveguides?
Instructor: Yes, you are confused. Stop by my office after class.
Waveguide explanation for the uninitiated. But basically a waveguide is a metal tube who's purpose is to transfer electromagnetic signals in much the same way as a fiber optic cable does. Waveguides are used for frequencies where a wire is becoming inefficient but the wavelength is still too big for fiber optic cables.
I didn't ask a teacher this but when I was younger, for a period of time, I thought that the earth spun so fast that by the time it did one revolution and we had spun around with it we wouldn't notice because of its speed. Whoopsie
Not a teacher, but my seventh grade history teacher asked us how many days were in a year. I was banging my head on the desk by the time the teacher let me answer. 365 except every fourth year it is 366.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In first year animal diversity biology class at University...So what type of animal are bacteria?
I had a student ask, "Who was the president who got stuck in the bathtub?" And before I could say the correct answer (Taft) he said with the most sincere face. "Oh, it was Tubman right? Harriet Tubman?"
College Student here - I witnessed this last quarter. In my anthropology class we were discussing what techniques in which we should study for our upcoming midterm. Our instructor was telling us after reading the required chapter, to look at the glossary and review terms talked about in the chapter (pretty self explanatory).
A student raises his hand and asks, "can we just look at the glossary to do well on the exam?"
My instructor kind of dumbfounded goes, "that is the stupidest question I have ever heard.. maybe I misheard it, can you repeat your question?"
And he elaborates, "Instead of reading the chapter, can I just look at the glossary to do well on the exam?"
My teacher says, "Yep, stupidest question I have ever heard."
During this whole conversation, the class started laughing and then gets progressively more quiet the more we realize the guy is serious.
Coogaar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In High School in the late 90s in the US, so DARE (drug education program) was a thing for most of my school life. High school biology class, we're doing a unit on the human body, at this point measuring heart rate, breathing rate, etc. at rest, after light exercise, and after heavy exercise. One of the girls in our group has numbers substantially above everyone else's after exercise, and couldn't complete the lap around the building for strenuous.
As we're comparing the results she says: "I smoke a lot. Like a lot. Do you think that could affect my breathing?"
jrd5497 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College level electro-physics class. Guy shouts out and says, and I quote "Ey doc, where do the positive electrons go?"
Not a teacher ....but in grade 9 science class a girl asked our teacher. And I quote "Mr. Roberts, does water die?" full on sincerity....to which the class erupted in laughter.
I'm not a teacher, but I remember the dumbest thing a classmate has ever said. It was Sophomore year of high school, and we were in an AP World History class at school..... so the kids were SUPPOSED to be smart. It was the day after Osama Bin Laden was killed, and we were talking about it for a solid 15 minutes before a girl raised her hand and goes, "Who's Osama Bin Laden?"
My teacher's immediate reaction was to laugh, so he laughed for a solid 5 seconds, realizes she's not laughing, then immediately goes stone face and goes, "Wait, are you serious?"
He then explained who Osama Bin Laden, the USA's most wanted criminal, was just for her lol.
suhayma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student drop a bag of weed on the floor of my classroom. I picked it up and had to call the SRO and an administrator to come and get the weed and the student.
Not a teacher but I overheard this one a few years ago when one of my buddies was talking to a girl in our chemistry class about evolution, and specifically the big bang. Her reasoning for why the big bang isn't possible was:
"Look at my iPad, do you really think a bunch of bits exploded and then combined into an iPad or did someone put it together?"
My buddy just nodded and then we all had a good laugh about it later
Fuck it, I post all the crazy shit I hear at school on this twitter account. Prob. have a few laughs if you check it out. https://twitter.com/spedinsight
Keyseki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first week of teaching, a student asked me "It was so nice to sing a birthday song for Paul. When is my birthday?"
10 years old.. Something was not quite right :P
Not a teacher but when I was in high school we were reading To Kill A Mockingbird and when we finished it we were discussing the book and my friend raised his hand and asked if boo Radley was a ghost
As a student I know what the stupidest thing was. I walked up to the front of the class in year 8 English (UK), and asked the teacher, "What are those snow globe things called !?"... "Snow globes ?".
Not at teacher but was in sex ed back in the day and a classmate of mine asked why do men have nippes if we can't make milk? The whole class started laughing
A girl in my grade 9 year asked myself (Caucasian) and a friend (Jamaican- Canadian) if different "coloured" guys ejaculated different colours. Before my friend could tell her no, I told her that all guys came the colour of their skin. She believed me, we both laughed a lot, but then we couldn't convince her otherwise for a long time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister is an English teacher at a community college in Minnesota. She's in her mid-40s. Students are mostly late teens and early 20s.
I forget the context, but somehow the class was talking about America's military history. A student asked her if she remembered Pearl Harbor.
Her answer was golden: "Dear child, my parents don't remember Pearl Harbor!"
Not a teacher, but I remember this very well from 5th grade. We were watching an old movie one day at school. The movie was in black & white. At the end of the movie one of my fellow students seriously asked if the world used to be black and white, and when was color invented?
Orthonut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In large animal anatomy in vet school, I was a student tutor. I was in the practical lab one day holding about five or six pieces of a shattered horse femur, just imagining that if it were possible to fix these how I would have done the surgery Etc.
One of my fellow students (a "jenius with the less common J spelling") walked up and asked me what it was. I told her it was a horse femur. She replied oh no did he make it?
*crickets *
I was like well considering I'm holding the jagged pieces... I don't think so.
Whenever a student raises their hand and asks me a question that was asked by another student less than 5 minutes ago.
Bonus: the most imaginative excuse for late homework I ever heard: "It was my birthday yesterday, my parents drove me out of town to celebrate, but they got too drunk to drive me back on time".
ralevin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a teacher, but this wasn't a student.
When my sister and I were teenagers, I told her a joke about the space agency of a specific country (who had a stereotype of producing stupid people). There's buildup to it, but one guy wants to send a manned mission to the sun, and when presented with the "it's too hot" argument, he responds, "We'll go at night."
Sister laughed hysterically for a solid 7-8 seconds, pauses, and says, "wait...where does the sun go at night?"
im not a teacher but in one of my seminars at university the teacher was explaining our next assignment and this guy put his hand up and asked if it was compulsory.. yeah if you want to pass retard
I know I am late to this and I am not a teacher but I think what I heard deserves to be near the top. I had a friend once ask if the penis needed to be in the vagina for conception to occur. Middle school sex ed, it doesn't get any more real.
Mlc5015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school AP US history a girl asked why the state of Chicago was so small, then argued with the teacher that it was a state for 5 minutes, explaining how her moms family was from that state and he didn't know what he was talking about. I'm still not sure she was convinced, and sadly scored higher than me on the AP exam. She's probably a lawyer now.
A few years back I was sitting through training for my new job as a mattress salesman. We were talking with the reps for Simmons beds and the guy made an off handed comment about 'his friend Dr. Scholls'. A few minutes goes by and this girl raised her hand and asked "Is Dr. Scholls really a friend of yours?"
Now keep in mind that this is the same girl who, when we went around the room introducing ourselves and telling something interesting about ourselves, told the class 'I really miss my dog right now, even though she is on her period'.
trudge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why can't I find photos of dinosaurs on the internet?"
alimaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I was full of questions. As kids are at a young age, they think that their elders have it all figured out already. Asking questions, for me, was my way of filling in the gaps so I could eventually be "one of Them".
I remember one particular family outing when I was about 5. My dad was driving and something caught my attention. I don't recall the subject but I recall parts of the exchange that followed.
Me: "Why do [leaves change color or something]?"
Dad: "Do you have to constantly ask stupid questions?"
Mom: [Dad's First Name]! How else do you expect him to learn things?! To us, he just got here!"
I've only just realized why I was so quiet from then on with car trips alone with my dad.
I have my own kids now. I've never once dismissed one of their questions as being "stupid". In fact, it turns out that they keep asking questions that I never got around to asking.
My favorite response is: "I don't know! Let's see if we can find out."
As it turns out, even being in my 50's, I have a lot to learn.
Not a teacher, but in an honor history class in 10th grade, a girl in my class asked if air killed people.....yes she was being totally serious, decided to name herself and a friend after that "the dumb squad"
I teach a junior/senior Sociology elective. I was teaching about deviance and the criminal justice system. I had a student ask, "how long does a life sentence last?"
lavahot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While taking a pattern recognition course, after the professor mentioned the phrase I asked, "What is 'out-of-plane rotation'?" I had never felt more stupid by the glares of my peers than ever before.
marnues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT, teachers laughing at students because their parents are idiots.
When I was a sophomore in high school, I shared a class with a senior. He was your typical football jock, dumb as a rock type of guy. Anyways the class was environmental science and somehow we started talking about a caribou (don't ask). I can tell this kid has no idea what that is and as I am about to ask him, he looks up at the teacher and says "Hey! Does a caribou have two legs or four?" The teacher paused for about 10 seconds, quietly laughed and shook his head. Told the kid "Im gonna let you find that one out yourself" and walked away. I was trying so hard not to laugh in his face
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
clearing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:46:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The Republic of Texas was an independent sovereign country in North America that existed from March 2, 1836, to February 19, 1846." - Wikipedia
At University, I was a master degree student and friend with an hearing-impaired student whom had a sign language interpreter. This interpreter was particularly cute and interesting to watch sign the whole lecture. At the end of it, another student came straight to her and asked if she was also hearing-impaired. She was nice enough to not laugh when the guy realised it was a stupid question.
clearing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since you wrote "earing-impaired" twice, I thought I should let you know that should have an 'h' in front of it.
We were watching videos about JFK. His assassination was showed, not the TV version either. Right after he gets shot in the head the girl next to me asks "OH MY GOD, WAS HE OK?!?"
She wasn't the sharpest light bulb in the toolbox.
Not asked of me, but in my presence:
We were touring a medical college that happens to be founded & run by Seventh Day Adventists. Along the tour we pass the chaplain's office (complete with a little wooden cross", and the tour leader mentions the chaplain often invites students to join him for "worship". One of the 12th graders raised her hand and asked, "Who DO you worship?"
You could totally see the guy trying to figure out if she was bullshitting him.
"...Jesus. We worship Jesus..."
I'm not a teacher, but a senior in highschool. I was doing a projet in my zoolgy class where we had the fun task of designing a zoo. It was a fun project but there was this one girl in my group that constantly asked dumb questions. My favorite was: "Are parrots birds?"
fellow student once asked if the Battle of Lexington took place outside on Lexington Avenue in Manhattan
Ermali4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physics teacher was explaining to us connection of temperature and kinetic energy(don't remember exactly) and as an example she was spining the spoon on tea cup clockwise(random choice) while telling us that this helps cool down the tea.One of my classmates asked her if the tea gets hotter if we spin the spoon counterclockwise.
A student in chemistry class asked if drinking D2O (heavy water) could help him bulk up faster. Heavy water is sort of harmless in small doses but if about 30% of normal water in the body was replaced with heavy water it could be fatal.
RFCwhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This wasn't a dumb question per say but more of a creative answer, which could be another Reddit question for teachers. I was teaching my class about the 3 branches of the federal government, more specifically the Judicial System. One question on the homework was "How does a case get to the Supreme Court?". One student only wrote down, "We started from the bottom, now we here", which is correct, in a manner of speaking. (He got full points)
Not stupid as much as sad. Young, reasonable intelligent freshman girl. After discussing the dangers of ISIS/ISIL, she was legitimately confused when asking "I don't understand why they are angry at Obama, isn't he Muslim too?"
Had to both inform while also steering whole class away from a political conflict.
Not a teacher or anything but in our high school, probably about year 9 they brought all the year in to the hall and played us an old BBC (spoof) documentary of how spaghetti grew on trees, this video shown people picking it off trees and being deadly serious that this is where it came from.
The teachers didn't say anything and I'm not even sure why they shown us this video, I'm sure there were a few people that did believe the video to be true.
RagPoet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my wife's 1st grade students asked how to spell PBS.org.
Saint947 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was telling class about how there were three golf balls on the moon, when the class ditz goes "NU UHHH! NO WAAAY"
As the rest of the class says, yes, there are, she asks "How hard did Tiger Woods have to hit them?!?"
Not a teacher.. But i once had a class mate that in history (we were having lessons about 14-1500) who raised her hand after our teacher said that Columbus encountered america in 92, and asked if it where (in all seriousness) 1992? ... I died a bit inside.
kguenett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question but this happened when I was a high school student and it was one of my funniest moments. We were learning about current flow and the "right hand rule" and some kid asked if there is any such thing as a left hand rule. I chimed in, "your left hand rule if if you sit on it long enough it feels like a stranger's doing it"! Got the whole class to crack up. Oh good times.
While learning about the Revolutionary war freshman year of highschool, a girl in my class asked why Americans marched to Valley Forge instead of just using Jeeps. When everyone was laughing (many of us thought she was joking at first) she got kinda mad and insisted that it is stupid to march and cost all those lives when you have Jeeps.
Her question was written on the board and stayed there for the rest of the year. I'd like to believe it is still there today.
A student in my college junior chem course for chem majors asked the teacher if Thorium was a metal. To be fair he misheard the professor that caused a confused him but still doesn't stop it from being funny and stupid.
Best part is that he's my roommate so it gets brought up every so often for giggles.
I asked once in high school where cows were from in the wild. Everyone including my teacher looked at me like a complete idiot. I never did the research cause I don't care THAT much but... they weren't just born in captivity though.
All through elementary, middle, and high schools, I was told that there are no stupid questions. Then I became an adult, and started working retail. Yes, there are stupid questions, especially when I am in my uniform with a vest on, and there is a big logo on the back of the vest, my name badge on the front, and I have hand-held electronic work tools in my hands.
lucalu99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a middle school Spanish teacher (it's level 1 high school Spanish slit over 7th and 8th grade) and a 7th grader asked "how do you say taco in Spanish"
While studying the amendments to the Constitution in 12th grade the girl behind me raised her hand and said, "Wait, is it still illegal to sell alcohol because people still do it anyway."
Pawn315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not myself a teacher, but while I was in school, a high school girl asked "Martin Luther? Isn't that the guy who freed the slaves?" when covering the Protestant Reformation in a world history class. It just has multiple layers of completely wrong to marvel over.
The teacher kept a huge corkboard with inspiring historical quotes pinned up on it. He put that up there as one of the saddest, funniest things he had ever heard. He was kind enough to wait until after she was out of the class and he didn't cite the student, but those of us from the class knew.
I still have no fucking idea what he was getting at
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask why I don't send out daily reminders on when homework is due. This was in the 2008 to 2011 millennial crowd undergrad class. The 2008-2011 millennials were a PIA to teach. One of the most entitled group I've ever taught. My reviews were filled with 'why so much homework', 'never reminded us when it was due', 'never offered extra credit', etc. etc. etc. Even had one complain that he was always late because I started class on time. WTF?
Somewhere around 2012, the millennials switched back to taking responsibility for their actions. I think the younger group was tired of the poor rep they were getting from the older group. Maybe they should have a dance off.
While discussing how poor russia was in the early 1900's a student asked "if russia was so poor how did they start the holocaust?" The entire class was stunned
little brother and i were watching one of the bush/gore election debates when he turned around and asked me if the president was the president of the USA or the entire world.
Not a teacher. But when I was in middle school, I didn't do any assignments. Like, at all. For years. 0.0 GPA boyyyyyyyy. Depression and ADHD will do that to a person. Come halfway through 8th grade, it turns out I've only been promoted because of standardized test scores, and I don't actually have the credits from passing certain classes to go to high school. So I have to retake a bunch of 6th, 7th, and 8th grade classes I had technically failed.
This leads to me having to retake 6th and 7th grade sex ed, AKA the only "classes" I had done any assignments for in the last 3 years. No joke, I had more completed classwork in sex ed than any other class over a 4 year period. So I'm in 7th grade sex part deux, and we're learning about STDs. It's question time, and this kid in the back who is typical bully who doesn't pay attention genuinely raises his hand and speaks the words, "I heard if you don't use it, you lose it. Is that true?"
This kid honestly thought that if he didn't have sex, his dick would fall off. The sex ed teacher tried to be respectful and give some answer about gangrene, but after she left the science teacher flat out said "there are no stupid questions, but that was a stupid question."
It's kind of sad honestly. We've created a culture so obsessed with sex and it making us cool that 12 year olds are worried they have to fuck everything in sight or their dick will fall off. Gee, maybe if every single TV show wasn't about getting laid...
ramandur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Runiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been teaching for awhile, and there's only one kind of stupid question to me. It's the one that I've already provided the answer to multiple times and is asked by someone that isn't putting in effort or paying attention. "What time does the class meet?" Did you read the course homepage, your email, your schedule, the online syllabus, or watch my welcome video? I've literally provided that information in 10 different places. You could have done almost anything within the class landing page and found the answer.
SaKage96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my college bio class the other day, the teacher was exploring cellular respiration and he said "So you're saying we breathe out ATP?" Not the stupidest but threw me for a loop.
Obligatory not a teacher, but a kid in my class in freshman biology had 2 zingers:
1) when talking about photosynthesis, while the teacher was explaining that all life flows from the sun's energy, the kid asked if we could just put a giant flashlight in space to replace the sun if it went out.
2) when talking about genetics, the teacher was explaining how varied DNA is by explaining that a man would never produce two sperm with the same exact set of DNA in it (this could be slightly off, I don't recall precisely), and the kid asked "so like, even if you whacked off every second of every day for your entire life, you'd never make one that was the same?" He actually caused the teacher to skip the reproduction section of the class because we were too immature for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but attended a screening of Birth of a Nation followed by a panel discussion. The question: "Were those actual Civil War battle scenes?". The panelist very politely explained that motion pictures were not invented until a few decades later. I spent the rest of the time biting my lip to keep from laughing. Thank God I wasn't on the panel.
I have a set of conjoined pups in a jar of formaldehyde on my desk. On average, once a week, a child (on first encountering them), asks if 'he' is alive. All aforementioned children are 14-20 years old. I always answer, with a straight face, yes, definitely.
I tutor writing. A student came in wanting help creating an outline for an article summary. I asked what main ideas she had taken away from the reading assignment. They asked, "wait, I'm supposed to read it?"
Let me flip this around, a few years back, we were studying corporal punishment in religion (don't ask), someone asks the teacher "Sir, what is mutilation?"
His reply was the most face plan moment of my life so far:
"Have you ever seen teenage mutant ninja turtles or X-men? It's like that, when someone like injects you with something and turns you into something else."
There is no way he misheard, this guy was in his mid 20s...
When a student asked me a question about Andrew Jackson, so I started explaining the context of the Indian Wars and the Trail of Tears, then they interrupted me and shrieked, 'What's the answer!!?' So I said, 'Google it.'
I was absent from school from October-January for maternity leave. Yesterday, a student who had me all of last semester asked if I had had my baby yet. Apparently they missed the entire time my sub was in the classroom!
Not a teacher, but have been a Teaching Assistant at a University. The undergrads have this culture of what we call "road maps," basically assignments that have been handed down from the previous year that they use to either 1) copy entirely or 2) copy pieces and try to improve where prior students lost marks.
The dumbest question I ever got asked while being a T.A. was when the professor and I introduced brand-new, never before seen labs to the class. The student asked (to my face, in front of all their peers):
So that means we can't use road-maps for this class?
Honestly, it's one thing to cheat on your assignments, it's another entirely to ask / complain to (askplain?) your T.A. if cheating with road-maps is okay.
Niconini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not teacher (ITT jokes aside) but we had younger students in all our classes as like juniors (messed up schedules basically at my early college left a lot of older students in freshman classes).
This girl usually said really dumb stuff but she was always completely serious. I know she wasn't kidding, she would actually ask follow up questions later on. The only other fact I know about her is her strange obsession with Harry Styles, she always wrote her last name as 'styles'. Some examples of her comments that I remembered:
"Did they eat the mummies?" When talking about salt preservation or something in ancient Egypt.
"Canada was owned by Russia too, like Alaska, right?"
Not a teacher, but we were in class studying a play with lots of absurd humor. At one point one of the characters asks why does the journal have the age of the deceased people but not that of the newborn babies. Someone said "I'm sure [name of the girl] didn't get it" and the teacher was like "C'mon, [name of the girl], I'm sure you got it, explain it to us". There was a long, awkward silence before she finally understood.
Wuubz99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just asked my teacher and he said the stupidest question he has ever heard is "Can I ask a question? " His reply always, as usual is " you just did "
ok2nvme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but was a CS major in college. In a senior-level programming class, a dude raised his hand and asked, "What's a buffer?" in the middle of the prof's lecture.
Kindergarten-High School is the time to raise your hand fearlessly. In college, feel free to ask a question if you're confident that it's a question that will further the whole class's understanding of the concept, but if you're a numpty who's completely lost, don't raise your hand to show everybody else that you're an idiot. That just eats away into everybody else's valuable lecture time.
The time for those questions is called "office hours."
A girl in year 10 (around 15 years old). Once asked my history teacher, when we were learning about the Cold War and the space race, she asked "can you live on the moon?" Then later on followed up with(I forgot what we were learning but we were prob talking about Europe) "where is Europe? Is it in England? " it took my history teacher while to convince her that Europe isn't in England...
(Edit: if it helps she's a chav)
Answering for my math teacher. She told me how her first year teaching, a kid got upset saying they'll never use this level of math in the real world. He said "I mean, you graduated and have a job. Do YOU ever use this math in the real world?"
Obligatory not a teacher. I'm my 10th grade literature class we had a whole quarter dedicated to King Arthur. On the day before the final a girl a year older than me asked the teacher, "wait. So Merlin is like Arthur's dad right?"
I had a kid in my class (13 years old) ask the teacher why he got the answer to "9ร5" wrong. Teacher says "well, 9ร5 is not 95 like you put down here, it's 45". Student replies "but 9 plus a 5 equals 95? I still don't understand?"
The teacher had a nice long discussion about how multiplication works with the kid, and iirc he was held back a year because he didn't understand how to do math.
Nerkrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably never going to see any attention, but in my grade 11 bio class, one of my class mates asked " if plants were alive, would theycbe cold blooded or warm blooded any what colour would their blood be?" We all just took a moment to ask him if he was serious. Our teacher just looked disappointed and moved on with the lesson.
Not a teacher but I have a friend who can't read a clock (he is 17) he also says the larger number first for example I would ask him how old his cousin is now he goes "I don't know maybe 7 or 6 last time I saw her she was 5 and I haven't seen her for 3 or 2 years" it drove me insane
rafitoxD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but this is so stupid that I need to share: once in my politics class in college, my professor was talking about the evolution of the relationship between church and state.
Then a girl asked seriously if Christianity came before or after Christ. My professor stood there staring her for several seconds and then everybody started to laugh. She only understood what she did wrong some minutes after the whole mess when someone explained.
Not a teacher, but once, in my AP Bio class while discussing the reproductive system, a girl, with which I couldn't tell if she was serious or not, asked:
"Why don't I get pregnant when I swallow semen then?"
To which the teacher replied with the best answer ever, "Go ask your father"
Not a teacher but my friends in middle school convinced me that asking for a blowjob was slang for asking a teacher to turn on the fan so I literally asked my 7th grade teacher for a blowjob
My wife is a teacher. Student e-mailed my wife asking what her e-mail address was.
During the first Gulf War, I was in 3rd grade and I asked the teacher why no one arrested Saddam Hussien if he was so bad.
jjeph234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here. We were learning about how Ireland coped during WW2 and our history teacher was explaining how the the trains switched from coal to run on turf instead. One girl asked how come the trains didn't just sink.
Not a teacher, but I witnessed this: fourth marking period of AP chemistry and my lab partner (who was worse than useless) asks: Mr. ***, what's a mole?
He had to leave the room for a moment. Or he did for effect.
I remember back during my graduate school I was teaching a lower level physics lab and they did not ask me directly they asked each other, mind you these two pre-med students, asked "how do you convert meters to centimeters?" One of the girls said, "lets google it." I was cleaning up and putting the rest of the lab materials way and I heard that shit. Blew my mind the fook off. I just left the room. These were pre-Med students too! It makes you think, these are the kind of people that are going to be your doctors in the future. Bloody hell.
stromm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did I really get an "F"? Or whatever grade the got.
No, I don't like you so I gave you less of a grade then your answers prove you should get. /s
Is there a possibility that the kid hasn't had vision tested recently? I've seen that picture and I saw it again without my glasses and it really looks like that if you aren't wearing glasses.
Well to be honest I do want to be an English teacher and I meant for my comment to have more grammar errors jot the lolz but somehow I forgot to do that haha
Is Dada a person? (During a class on Marchel Duchamp and Dadaism.
bad1ali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked why we couldn't just get rid of all the girl babies at birth (talking about population control). This was a sophomore boy. Took him a minute to realize we needs girls to have babies in the first place.
There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start
joselrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, I'm a student, but there was this one question someone made on my class that I just won't ever forget.
7th grade on a Science class and we were studying the Oceans, and my teacher was showing a powerpoint with a world map like this, showing the temperature of the surface of the sea
http://www.deepseawaters.com/images/avhrr-sea.gif
To what someone asked: "But teacher, isn't the sea blue everywhere?"
Everyone laughed non stop, the bell rang with no more progress on the subject and no one ever talked about it again
I was in a science class back in my early high school years, and we had just learned about how we see things by our eyes picking up the photons that are reflected off/emitted from things. Visible light spectrum, etc. This one girl raised her hand and asked if bullets traveled faster than the speed of light. Her reasoning was that you can't see a moving bullet in the air, and we had just learned that we actually can see light, and she had previously learned that the speed of light was incredibly fast, and she also knew that the faster an object moves the harder it is to see. So if we can see light, but we can't see a bullet, then, while both are fast, the bullet must be faster. I think she hated me because she asked questions like these a lot, and I sat behind her and had a bad habit of reacting without thinking and slamming my forehead down on my books and mumbling oh my god.
Not a teacher, but I remember once we had to translate English words into French. Halfway through the lesson-"Wait, we had to write in French?"
The guy had just copied out English words. ๐๐๐
Teacher once told us a girl asked him what time the test was going to be the next day. He told her is was at 5. She responded, "O'clock?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I have to share this one. A friend had a new boyfriend, we were all out to dinner, we're all about 20 years old. Out the window I could see an isolated storm several miles off. "Wow," I said, mildly interested. "Look at the rain over there." The boyfriend chuckles and says, "Yeah, right, how can it be raining over there and not over here?" Funny, that relationship lasted a lot longer than it should have.
I know I'm late to the game but in my sexual health class in college there was this one smart ass girl. The teacher said that skin was one of the biggest sexual organs. She proceeded to ask if she didn't have skin would she still have an orgasm. Real.
In medschool I was working as tutor in anatomy - new semester started and this group of 1st year students were about to witness their first cadaver. After inspection of the corpse I cut into the skin until one girl raised her hand and asked:
"So....would this make a real human bleed?"
I gave her a deadass stare as in ur probably in the wrong class
vealdin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but one time in class this girl was playing trivia crack and asked if Japan was off the coast of Florida or California. She once also asked to see if she left her car running while her keys were in her hand.
Dawg17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you look at the world map and go straight west from california you end up in Japan though
blade430 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 8th grade a classmate asked during a Spanish test, "Are calculators allowed on the test?" Everyone laughed except the kid who was genuinely confused.
miki4242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look, but don't tell anyone!
marv249 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the students in my high school geography class once asked: "How is Hawaii so hot and Alaska so cold when they are right next to each other on the map?"
A friends sister was working at a local school and asked a group of kids to name one of the four food groups and a kid raised his hand and responded, "Chicken bone".
trexno12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in a world history class we were learning about how the U.S. used nukes to end WW2 and some girl in my class asked "Did anybody die?"
The teacher just looked at her dumbfounded for a minute then moved on.
I was a student in the class not the teacher but, during a religous studies class we were discussing ethics of death and suicide. And on the topic euthanasia one student, she was quite dim to be polite, she said, " hang on im quite confused. Where is euthanasia?"
My was so confused by the question that he just sat there in his chair with is jaw dropped and stayed open. With his mouth still wide open. He rotated his chair towards the wall and started to have a laughing fit.
I had an 8th grader today submit a proposal for his science fair project. He wanted to inseminate a chicken egg to see what would grow. face palm
Barney-f ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student but when a teacher mentioned that we were going to Stratford-upon-Avon to see one of Shakespeare's plays a girl asked "Are we going to meet Shakespeare?"
Not a teacher, but in one of my 1st year university astrophysics classes, a fellow student said, "isn't Jupiter bigger than the sun?" Not only did we all sit in shock and wonder how this person had gotten this far in any scientific field, but the lecturers lazy eye actually aligned with his other eye to glare at this student.
Not a teacher but the dumbest question I heard was at the little orientation at the hospital they send you to when you are getting ready to have a baby. The nurse talked about dilation sizes and held up a visual aid that had circles to show the stages of cervical dilation as a woman progressed through labor.
This one dude in the class held up his hand and asked if the dilation size was something he could check himself at home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher, but when I was referring to a friend moving to Alaska, another friend said, "what do you mean she's going to drive to Alaska? There's not even a bridge!" Poor guy forgot about Canada. I believe I won a dollar on the subsequent bet.
Also not a teacher but in 8th grade our social studies teacher asked "What do they grow in the midwest of the US?". Classmate answered with "wheat and grain". Teacher confirms then from across the room a friend chimes in "Don't they grow bread in the midwest?". Class laughs and being the teacher he is he decided to to write the students blunder down, along with the students name, on a post-it note and pinned it to the wall for everyone to see. It's still there today along with new students mistakes.
12-12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After attending a concert with a musician who played music on household items and hearing that anything that makes sound can be an instrument, a students turned to me and asked, "Are farts an instrument?"
Student here: In 8th or 9th grade the science teacher was talking about a theory that stated that Earth may have been formed from debris and 'space junk'.
One of my classmates asks "So does that mean the Earth is made of rocket ships?"
Not a teacher, was a junior in college.
We were reading Things Fall Apart in an intro to English class and a girl asks "so, how did they have, like, war if they didn't have a government?"
I'm not a teacher, but a student once asked in my class, while learning about gladiator fighting:
"Mr. M, what if a bunch of clowns went out to entertain between fights, and they were all wearing masks and makeup, and one of the clown's murdered someone, but they were all dressed up as clowns so nobody knew who really killed the guy, would Roman police guys line all the clown's up in a row and try to find out who killed the guy".
The whole class was dead silent. The teachers reaction was to say "Umm.... What??"
don5of4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy that was actually really smart tried to argue with our physics teacher that if you threw something straight up in the air it would not land in the same spot (not taking into account air resistance or the earth spinning).
Rzzq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a educated teacher, but i work as part time sub at a local school. A kid in 3rd grade asked me ''Is my mother a bird? Because she told me a story when my father was a bee, iv never seen my father so i dont know.''
I was just like...<its just a story kid>
I had a friend in high school in that thought cruise control meant the car would actually drive for you. Turning, stopping the whole deal. Real Google type stuff back in the early 90's.
3rd year of university. Girl in bio class thought that cancer was a virus (15-20% of cancers have a viral cause so I'm thinking she got mixed up with that)
dstarno7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach guitar and my student of 1 year tells me that he's left handed. I had been teaching him on a right handed guitar.
I'm not a teacher but in 8th grade science class while learning about the Sun's rotation a girl sitting right next to me asks "So, people have been to the Sun right?" The teacher just stood there silently in disbelief for about ten seconds until she realizes the girl is serious and replies, ".....No Bella, we have never sent any people to the Sun."
I'm really starting to love being a teacher on Reddit. No one ever believes these stories when I tell them otherwise. They think I'm crazy.
Teaching seventh grade is an eye-opener sometimes. This year started by being a particularly interesting one. I got a real interesting set of students. We started writing our first story of the year, and I was introduced to this gem from a rather average student:
What do you mean we have to use a period at the end of every sentence? What's a sentence? Is it like a paragraph or just the end of the line we're on?
I felt bad because this student was being completely serious. No one had ever taught him/her what constituted a sentence or how to punctuate it. In the six years prior, he/she didn't even think to ask and his/her teachers never checked the writing. Was an A-B student in English too.
While working on a map assignment a student (16 years old) pointed to the map and asked, "is this Germany?" I told him that it was Canada. He then asked, "is that part of the United States?" My jaw dropped. This is an American History class.
Too late to this thread, and I'm not a teacher, but I've got a good one. Senior year of high school in history class we were talking about Denmark and how they have the highest happiness rating in the world. One kid raises his hand and asks the dumbest question I've ever heard to this day. He asks, "does Denmark have wifi?" The entire class was stunned.
A teacher now, but not one of my kids (yet). I was in health class and we were doing life saving techniques like the heimlich maneuver, CPR and self heimlich. The teacher gave us a sheet with all the instructions for each one. Step 1 in each besides the self heimlich was: "Ask the person if they're 'ok'."
He then had random students get up and demonstrate each one. He asked this girl to demonstrate the self heimlich and she got up in the front then had a really puzzled look on her face. When the teacher asked her what the problem was... she said... "how do I ask myself if I'm ok?" I shit you not... junior/senior class... half of the class laughed so hard they were on the floor, the rest of us starred wondering if she was serious... and realizing she was.
deymus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, this happened when I was a high school junior. Was taking an introductory astronomy course (extremely basic overview of the field) and as a part of our final unit on human space travel and exploration we watched Apollo 13. Paused for questions halfway through and one girl asked, completely serious, "Did Tom Hanks really go to the moon?"
In an 11th grade Honors English class, we were doing persuasive presentations. A student did his on why drug testing should be required in the work place. He gave examples and his presentation was okay. At the end there was a Q&A. One girl asked, "Then why is orange juice good for you?"
It took me about 2 minutes to figure out she thought the drug acid was PH acid.
EDIT: Thought of another one. I'm teaching Honors English 9. We were reading Lord of the Flies. They got it in December, and it's now almost February. For their midterm, they had to write an analysis paper proving a theme from the novel. I was going over the parts of an analysis essay and said they should have the title, author, main characters, etc... I said they can combine them with something like, "In William Golding's novel, Lord of the Flies, ..." One girl legitimately asked me if that's actually what the book is called. WE'VE BEEN READING IT FOR 2 MONTHS!
Not a teacher, but in my math class freshman year of high school, our teacher was showing an example of a project he saved from a previous student. It was basically a miniature house made out of popsicle sticks, a few toothpicks, and glue. As he was done explaining the project and putting it away, the one girl in class notorious for asking dumb questions asks, "Can that catch on fire?"
After a long silence and everyone staring at her, she says, "Well, I thought the glue would make it not catch on fire...."
I don't have a top twenty list, but here are a few from this year:
8th Grader: Mr. ____?
Me: Yeah?
8th Grader: Uh.... I was going to ask you what you do for a living, but then I realizedโฆ
6th grader: How old were you when you started dying? (Serious question--until she processed what she said.)
Not stupid but....
11th grader: What if my presentation takes longer than twenty minutes?
me: Youโre not going to die or anything. Just try to keep it to that time.
11th grader: But what if I canโt?
me: Then a random person in the class will die, but not you.
11th grader: Oh, okay. But will it affect my grade?
---Gotta keep your priorities straight.
Fazer2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when I was around 17 years old I asked in a biology lesson about ethics of cloning "Would cloned people have souls?". The teacher was confused and then some other student changed the subject.
B00YAY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid asked me if the KKK was the same thing as the white samaritans.
kasper12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question, but a stupid answer.
9th grade history class teacher: What is the capital of France?
More cute than stupid but definitely one of those awe-inspiring moments;) I am an ed. assistant in a Kindergarten classroom in Foxboro, MA (home of the Patriots). We've recently been celebrating their playoff performance, and now path to the superbowl, by drawing pictures, dressing up, etc. One day when we were working on writing complete sentences below a picture they had drawn of anything they associate with the team one of the students asked 'How do you spell NFL?'
Needless to say the teachers and I had a great laugh:)
We were on the annual coach trip to Northern France from our very inner city comprehensive high school located in a not too shabby county but still, the region has the usual post-industrial depression issues.
As we are coming down the motorway towards Dover we are all enjoying the scenic English countryside when one of the smartest kids in the class taps me on the shoulder and says (whilst pointing out of the window), "why are those hills over there blue?"
I was like, "huh" whilst trying to work out which blue hills he was pointing to. After a minute it dawned on me. The Blue Hills he was pointing to where in fact the English Channel. This teenage boys had simply never seen the sea before.
My Year 8 class (12-13 year olds) were talking about black cats and their links to witches/the occult etc. One pupil turned to another and said "Wow! Does that mean you can do magic?"
Normadic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to my co-worker. Grade 11 biology. 17 year old student. He sheepishly asked "where does the sun go at night?"
The same student at parent/teacher conferences with his father, trying to discuss his terrible mark in biology. Dad says "come on son. This is ONLY biology. Not like it's a hard class or anything."
Not sure where he is now...
Why do we even have numbers, they have no point in America. Said by one of my fifth grade students.
Marklmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you are wondering where dumb questions come from, my 6th grade teacher friend asked me if there were any sharks in the Potomac River when he visited me in Washington, D.C.
Not a teacher. But in my senior year high school history class this kid in all seriousness asked "are nukes made out of volcanoes?" I thought he was joking at first, so the class laughed. And then he said , "how do you get the lava inside the nuke?" And we stopped laughing.
Just to put things in perspective: he was a super senior and failed history before and is not special needs.
DMH713 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but my freshman year of science, a girl asked the teachers if rockets were shaped the way they are to drill out of the earth.
I had a student once who thought that Alaska was an island, since on some maps of the United States it presents Hawaii and Alaska in boxes at the side or bottom, with Alaska pictured separate from Canada.
8urfiat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this one's still funny.
In 9th grade science, I used to sit next to this dude who would occasionally say hilariously stupid things. My favourite, by far, would be when we were learning about space and the teacher mentioned the temperature of the sun. She said it was approximate, ad he suggested taking a thermometer, enlarging it with a growth ray, then using that to measure the temperature of the sun. Somehow, only the people sitting next to him heard this.
There was another time when he read "big dipper" as "big diaper" and spent half the class debating the spelling of "diaper". He also stopped a class to ask if a person's learned skills would be passed down to their children through genes. He's a nice guy though.
He also stopped a class to ask if a person's learned skills would be passed down to their children through genes.
I mean for a long time that was a valid thought process for how genetics work... its actually a theory called Lamarckian Evolution... and the most famous example is giraffes just stretched their own necks out over time to reach food
A girl in my RE class asked the teacher 'Sir, did jesus come before the dinosaurs?'
WIPeFo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time my cat took a shit so big that you could smell it across the whole damn house. Anyways, that's why I don't go to Tony's anymore
Not exactly a question, but definitely the dumbest statement I've ever heard. The kids were watching parts of Dances With Wolves (moderated of course) and the main character was hunting for meat. One girl found this disgusting and straight up said so. A discussion started and one other student asked the girl where she thought the meat at the store came from. The girl said she thought it grew in the packet.
The students were 13 at the time.
gunsmyth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one had to leave the room after a student asked about "the pubic wars"
To be fair this was a class in English but in Mexico, so these kids were taking history, in a second language
Discussing the gold rush in American History class. Girl asks "Who's gold was it and why did they bury it?"
Another time the teacher was going on about how with the invention of the steam engine it was no easier to ship products upstream. Gold rush girl could not comprehend why it was easier to go up stream with a steam engine.
In high school one of our teachers was explaining to us that the human brain is made up mostly of fat. A girl then raised her hand and asked "So does that mean that fat people are really smart?" She was 100% serious. Also a girl in my high school biology class asked the teacher if rabbits laid eggs.
Not a teacher but probably the most pissed I've ever seen a teacher get, lol. She explained some formula in algebra (8th grade or so) and did examples yadda yadda, then asks if anyone has any questions. My friend raised his hand and asked, "Why are there interstates in Hawaii?" Her face turned all red and said, "Get the hell out of my classroom." So many of us tried not to laugh because she was so angry. When she left the room to talk to my friend we were like, "Well, she DID ask If anyone had questions." lol
When I was a high school student the teacher directed us to build a catapult only using materials around during that time period. This girl asks if we could use wood.
In my advanced 10th grade history class years ago, the teacher projected an image of the British Ship 'Nemesis' destroying Chinese junks during the opium wars. A girl in the class, one who later received a pile of awards for academic excellence, raised her hand and asked confidently, "Is this from Pearl Harbor?" The teacher pretty much laughed in her face.
I'm a primary teacher (year 4). I get asked stupid questions every day. All day. 'I found a broken paperclip - shall I put it in the bin?' - well, I wasn't planning on fixing it....
Questions like this. All day.
GFUNK8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but relevant stupidity. On a river rafting trip and this 50ish year old guest asks, 'is the fire hot?'
Meph514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate during my chem eng bachelor last year course before an exam: "If we know the fluid velocity and the diamter of the pipe, how can we figure our the flow rate?" No joke...
Spanish teacher here. In reviewing for her final exam, a high school student who had never been particularly bright asked (in complete seriousness), "Wait. But isn't Spain a state in Canada?"
Mentally ticked off the many things wrong with that sentence and just said, "No, dear. Check your notes."
Galt42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student once asked when 9/11 was.
Not a teacher but someone who witnessed the question. We had a new teacher come in one day around 3rd grade and she pretty much just introduced herself and told us about her life. She talked a lot about how she was a published author, blah blah blah, etc. This talk went on for like 30 minutes and she asked if anyone had any questions at the end. Some kid raises his hand, points to the door leading out of the classroom and asks, "What's through that door?"
In a computer science class, a student tried to question the teacher how queue was pronounced.
"Isn't it pronounced 'coo way'? "
The entire class just stared, as this teacher was well respected and exceedingly strict.
kodren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, and I already have shared this, but here it is anyway... A 13 year old student once asked me if Hitler had lived before the Romans. ๐
Not a teacher, but when I was a sophomore we were discussing Hannibal and his elephants during the Punic Wars. She raised her hand and asked with the most serious face, "Are Hannibal's war elephants still alive?" The class died.
cptmonty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but ill never forget this moment from my high school world history class.
We were learning about Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation. After hearing about Luther for most of the class period, one of my classmates raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said:
"Wait a minute. Didn't Martin Luther free the slaves during the Civil War?"
Juapp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today actually, 8 year old in my class
"Wait... so humans have bones? I thought bones came out of the ground when skin fell off."
I didn't really know where to start.
College student asked me what their grade was after I gave a huge announcement on how to calculate your grade and to never ask me what your grade is. They were totally serious and they got super embarrassed.
I was in a Junior level GE course last semester and some 'daddy's little princess' had the revelation that you have to pay back a loan with interest. In fact, she didn't even know what interest meant.
I used to write down this girls bad questions in 11th grade history. She asked if Genghis Khan was from China or Japan. She also asked why, instead of dropping the A-bomb on Japan, why the US didn't just surrender to the Japanese.
Not a teacher but it was in my study hall in high school, sophomore year. People were talking about Kim Kardashian and how she's Armenian. Some kid pipes up, "what's Armenian? Does that mean she's in the army?"
7th grade science class. We we're watching a film about the discovery of penicillin. To give a historical backdrop one of the scenes had a video of Hitler giving a speech the ended with the Nazi salute. A girl (Arican American no less) shouts to the class "Is that Martin Luther King Jr?"
I knew a kid who seriously thought trespassing was legal if the owner of the property did not find out.
santha7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While students were taking a test, I got this question three times (7th graders). "Do you want me to turn this in?" No, I grade telepathically...please keep it.
In History class, ~16 y/o. I sat next to a girl I really liked, really popular and I'd heard she liked me back. We were learning about WW2 and she seemed to suddenly realise something. She asked me, "Why did everyone stop Germany from taking over Europe?" Dumb question right? That's not it. When I answered, her response was "But doesn't Britain own Europe? Why did they let us do it?"
It's safe to say I wasn't as keen on her after that.
When I was at college, a student had some issues converting units, but something really trivial, like one order of magnitude (x1000) on the si scale. Trying to help her figure it out, the teacher asks: "well, how many grams make a kilogram?"
Not a teacher but when I was in 7th grade we had a Holocaust survivor come to speak. One girl asks "Wasn't Hitler a jew?"
The level of facepalming was astronomical.
I was a TA for an intro Calc class in college... We were about 5 weeks into the semester when a girl raised her hand and asked the Professor "Why do you keep calling everything a curve? That is clearly a straight line."
The student who was sure that eggs come from cows. After all they are next to milk in the market...
Gdat117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my grade 10 sex ed class the teacher said there were three holes a penis could be inserted into and a student asked if the ear was one of them. He was dead serious
When I was a senior in high school, in my American Government class, a student asked the teacher, "When did things start being in color?" We were viewing some old black and white photos on a projector and he assumed she was asking when color photography first came about. But no. Her next question was, "Wait, so the past wasn't in black and white?"
Based on some of her other questions that year I genuinely believe she thought the past was in black and white.
I'm not a teacher, but I remember when I was in elementary school our teacher told us there were still people inside the ships that sank on Pearl Harbor and I asked how they still had enough food and why no had gotten to them yet. I'll never forget the ridicule of her telling me they were dead and the whole class making fun of me.
I was teaching an animal unit in 8th grade Spanish (in an affluent suburb of Minneapolis). A student asked, "I know the difference between a lion and tiger but I can never remember which one is the male and which one is the female. Lions are the males and tigers are the females, right?" I have to make a point every year to tell students that rabbits are mammals and don't lay eggs. Even my smart kids are very clueless about basic animal facts.
B2utyyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Minnesota for you, lots of stupid people here.
When they come up to me the day a three-week assignment is due and say they didn't finish it because they didn't understand it. Why didn't you ask me that three weeks ago???
Taught physics, but one of my students was in the middle of a test in his calculus class and asked "Is two an even number?"
Probably one of my better students, and he did really well so I'm assuming it was just stress or something. However, I think it disturbed his classmates, who saw him as some sort of savant, more than anything.
Kind of different, but still related. My friend in his art class was convinced by everyone that the carrots we eat are carved out of a big carrot that grows on trees... We're in high school.
EvieAnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time I was working on a project with a fellow student. We were supposed to gather information on certain politicians. I split up the facts we needed to find, and on her side was the person's spouse. She asked me what that meant. I looked at her and said "...His wife." She shook her head and mumbled "well, why didn't they just put wife, then."
Was in a college class where we were talking about social norms and this one kid raised his hand and went rambling with the key point being, "...so you know how the Whore of Babylon slept with a jackal?" The teacher just stared at them and then proceeded to ignore the question
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in freshman year of high school there was this one girl in my honors class that shouldn't have been in there. One day, the teacher was talking about how mountains, like the Appalachian and rocky mountains, can sort of cause tornadoes (this was a history class). After saying that, the girl said "Why don't we just chop them down?" The class froze, staring at her. "How are we going to do that?" My teacher questioned. "Well, we have big machines that could easily chop down the mountains". "Where will we put the chopped up mountains?" asked the teacher. "Just throw them in the ocean, there's lots of room there. Like 60% of the earth or something like that." The teacher didn't give a lesson that day, he just couldn't take that stupidity. She surprisingly stayed in the class the whole year and passed, but she also cheated on everything.
Keram_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one of my classmates said: "Why doesn't Mozart compose anymore?" This was in 9th grade.
I'm posting late, but I've got one that still makes me shake my head. A senior in high school asked me, "Ms. the depster, is it true that black people were invented in 1900?" I thought she was kidding. She wasn't.
I was teaching a physical therapy student on her clinical internship. As she was writing her note, she stopped mid sentence and looked at me with a puzzled expression. After a pause, she asked "Where are the Roman numerals on the keyboard?"
Not a question but a comment from a fellow student. Was in an art class freshman year of college. The entire class was devoted to Salvador Dahli. At the end of the class, the teacher always asked basic questions just for repetition (e.g. who did we study today? what was their style? etc.). When she ended the class she asked "who did we study today?" and a big 6'10" basketball player stood up and yelled "Picasso!" in the most proud voice ever. We all sat there in stunned silence and slowly walked out of the room.
Not a teacher, but my freshman year roommate told me Peter Parker was following her on Instagram. She was excited because she thought Peter Parker WAS the actor of Spider-Man instead of his alter ego.
Then I had to explain what alter ego meant.
51AN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If they hated Julius Caesar (horrifically butchered) so much, why didn't they just kill him?"
While reading Julius Caesar. After he got killed. Completely serious question.
AlehCemy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't happen with me, but with my mom.
She teaches food science in a food school and she was explaining some things about meats and etc and she said that basically muscle is meat.
And this student (who is in his 50s and is a farmer) asked her "What do you mean muscle is meat?", she had to explain it to him, using a lot of examples and even had to get pictures to show him so he could understand this.
Dumbest answer I've ever gotten from a teacher was when she taught (in a freshman college science class) that every star, solar system and galaxy in the universe was moving away from earth "because of Hubble Expansion".
This same teacher also taught our econ 101 class in College and failed my fictitious IPO presentation because I actually stuck to the SEC's rules and regulations instead of doing a handful of things that she requested (that would be illegal in a real presentation). I guess she didn't actually want us to learn about IPOs...
Oh one more dumb college course answer. An animation teacher (who worked at pixar) once insisted that the second bounce of a bouncy ball is the highest. "Because the rubber stores energy".
tb8592 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student in high school and skipped class to go get subway. Came back with my sub, and the security guard yelled at me and said "HEY! Where'd you get that subway!!!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Permafox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but was a student. My senior history class, the teacher mentioned the Holocaust briefly assuming we all were aware and understood what the holocaust entailed. Dude raises his hand and asked "whats a Holocaust?" turns out he'd been homeschooled until his senior year and his parents thought it best to skip over that piece of history.
Another time in biology, im talking to my debate partner (i was a complete nerd) about some military history in relation to our debate topic and the dude behind me jumps in "im sorry what wars has america ever lost?" Dudes goes on listing all the wars america has won and i finally stop him when he gets to Vietnam to gently inform him America definitely did not 'win' Vietnam. He looked at me heartbroken and said "we lost Vietnam?"
Not a teacher, but a girls in my AP bio class said, "How are we suppose to know fish have back bones?" She was very confused at the rest of the students stunned expressions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach at a community college, and I was subbing for the anatomy teacher once. We were reviewing over the urinary system, and being the substitute I gave them a male and female urinary system to label. So one of the female students calls me over, and seriously asked me where the prostate was IN WOMEN. Like, you ARE A WOMAN! This girl wanted to be a medical assistant. She failed out.
Just a stupid question I was asked, not a teacher. I'm an assistant manager at a service department for a car dealership. One of my service advisors asked me how many miles are on a car when it has its first set of tires put on. Not replacement tires, but factory installed tires.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my geology class senior year, we were tasked with describing various rocks. I ended up writing down "dark Rocky rock" which led to a stern talk from my teacher. Essentially informing me that I would not pass this class and she hoped "I did not need it to graduate" still passed with a D...
Not a teacher but in my 9th grade science class, we were learning about Orbits vs Rotations. So basically the difference between the earth spinning, and the earth going around the sun. Teacher was explaining that the moon goes around the earth, and earth goes around the sun.
Girl in the class looked very confused and raised her hand:
"Aren't the Sun and the Moon the same thing?"
She thought the suns fire just...went out at night, and became the moon
Highschool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love teaching first aid/cpr. Especially to small children. When I was brand new to it, I had no idea how out-of-left-feild some of their questions can be. The very young ones are just bursting to share anything and everything. My first, and favorite:
Floaty: "Does anybody have any questions? Yes, you."
Kid: "My aunt lives in a mountain!"
Floaty: "Nice."
xUrkchar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but...In my HS biology class, a girl asked if people were made of both plant and animal cells.
In our first sex ed lesson, our teacher gave us the whole "there are no stupid questions" thing, and proceeded to tell us that a girl had once asked if you can get pregnant from anal sex.
He was dead serious. He thought they were all male and all cats were female.
This was after weeks of science about genetics, using dog breexing as examples of genetic inheritance.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a totally stupid question if rephrased with "if water was there." The answer is yes due to gravitational pull (the reason the moon affects Earth), but not really because it's tidal locked.
One of my history teachers used to work at a high school where the middle school had to pass everyone with at least a 70. Once you got to the high school, that rule no longer applied. He had people who slacked off in middle school who knew nothing when they got to high school. He kept a jar of stupid questions that he brought over to his new school.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science class in highschool, we were handed out biodegradable pens for free and a girl asked if a tree full of pens would grow if she left it on the ground.
kevinaud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when I was in 10th grade a girl in my World History class asked the teacher "when did they discover the internet?" Apparently she thought the internet was some magic force that existed in the ether and we somehow learned how to harness it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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mtux96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do clouds die?"
Yes and when it rains you get covered in the blood of clouds.
Not a teacher but I work retail. I've had to explain how to use spray paint before. Another lady asked where the thing is that's made out of that stuff. Not her exact words but along those lines. No info whatsoever.
Not a teacher, but I was in 8th grade and we were covering sex ed. It came time for anonymous questions and someone wrote in "Can you get pregnant from swallowing sperm?" Without skipping a beat, one of the more popular girls blurts out "What? Why would you swallow sperm?"
dz1u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did Jesus die? This kid had gone to catholic school for his whole schooling life including a couple of religious classes every week and he asked this in year 10.
Jbs97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a girl in my class (2nd year of high school at the time) asked, "Miss when does the human race I keep hearing about actually start" She thought the human race was literally a race......
Not a teacher, but I'll never not laugh at this. Once in 10th grade Biology, a girl in my class asked, completely serious, "Like why do we have to, like learn these history things? Like why do we need to know why Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue in like 2014?" I've never seen a teacher and class more dumbfounded.
Not me but my friend told me about this dumb college girl in her class. They were talking about that one experiment with the overpopulation of rats. She asked "Why did the rats die when they could've farmed and made their own food?"
As a TA for a Microeconomics lecture I once had a student, 19-20 years old, ask with all seriousness "Why don't we just go back to a barter system?" He was wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt to boot.
Ordinarily this isn't such a horrible question. In fact the concept can provoke some interesting discussions of basic theory. However, this was well into the second half of the semester in a course designed specifically for political science/econ majors. This very topic had been discussed the first week of class. The entire class offered many explanations for economic principles from multiple schools of thought, and essentially every piece of theory offered an implicit answer to this question.
It would be like a student in the engineering department asking why we don't build skyscrapers out of wood.
Not a teacher but the student - Accounting professor was explaining compound vs simple interest and asked if anyone knew the difference. I raised my hand and said "compound interest is where the interest owed gets roled into the principal and you pay interest on the total amount so it's interest on interest." She spent the next 15 mins arguing with me. I finally quit arguing and let her get on with class.
Not a teacher, but a few years ago I took a basketball coaching course at my university, at the end we were asked to fill in a two page questionnaire about the course for feedback.
The first question asked us to estimate the percentage of time spent being taught in a classroom, the amount of time spent being taught on court and the amount of time where we were coaching.
After about 5-10 minutes I finish and pass my piece of paper to the course leader, while I'm talking to him I hear a voice from across the room exclaim "Ohhhhhhh are they supposed to add up 100%?"
A 16 yr old student asked me what the time was and I pointed to the clock on the wall. He still didn't know, so I kept him at lunch to try to teach him.
I'm a geometry teacher for sophomores in high school.
We were talking about my trip to Tennessee and had a student ask "Why are you going to Canada?"
After telling her multiple times it is in the United States she looked at a map of Tennessee in the US and still argued that it is part of Canada.
She is a student that receives high grades in my class but has 0 common sense.
In one of my classes at university, a student asked if the Dalai Lama was from Star Wars. Later that week when someone mentioned Gandhi she replied with "isn't that the guy from Lord of the Rings?" She was 18.
One of my friends didn't know who Jim Carrey, Mother Teresa, Frank Sinatra, Vanilla Ice, or a plethora of other very famous people were as a freshman/sophomore in college.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in my sophomore year of college during biology, we had some free time and the professor was answering any science related questions/curiosity's we might have. Someone asked something about eclipses, the professor explains the differences between the two and all and during the explanation, he brought up night time with lunar eclipses and demonstrates with a globe. Sooooooo after that, a guy raises his hand and asks if we can see the line for the twilight zone (terminator?) when it passes over us. The professor kind of just stood there in silence because he wasn't sure if it was a joke. The kid legitimately thought there was a dividing line that passes over for day to night (as in you can see the shadow approaching clearly, one side day and the other night). I think he answered "No........were you never outside before when it's getting dark?"
We once had a holocaust surviver come into our high school class to talk to us and answer any questions. This one person, completely serious, asked her if she would ever go through it again
This will get buried, so it's just for you Ursula.
Not a teacher, but in a high school social studies class about African history, a girl raised her hand and asked the teacher "if white people have white bones..." You can probably guess the rest
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid, just cute. Foreign Language Teacher. Early primary school students thought I flew overseas to their school every other day, despite seeing me in the local grocery store all the time.
back in my pre-med days I took an anatomy class and one of the Netter's slides hand a drawing of a hand lifting part of the intestines to show what was underneath. One girl asks " what's that thing lifting up the intestines?". The teacher says " Thats a hand". The class has a good laugh and the lecture continues. Well 5 minutes later the girl stops class again and asks for the laser pointer. She then gets up and asks "but really though what is that?" pointing directly to the hand on the slide. The whole class is dead silent and then the teacher says "You sure you want to be a doctor?"..The class is dead silent after that.
Last I heard the girl is in medical school somewhere in the caribbean now
graebot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but my flatmate, who was in his 5th year of medical school, asked me in complete seriousness, whether cows had sex.
DrNO811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you, with equal seriousness, respond "Of course not, they reproduce asexually via mitosis."
graebot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After 21 years, I finally have the perfect comeback. Thanks stranger!
I read to kids and teach them sciences at the library on my free time. (I'm a marine biology major) While I was talking to kids about coral reefs the girl I was dating who was helping me with the presentation (she majors in mass comm) asked me if octopuses were real..
akaBenz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same classmate provided my Top 2 in all of my school years.
First year of Latin Class:
While looking at a projected map of Europe, specifically speaking about the Danube
"I thought the Mississippi ran north to south?"
&
After pulling the massive battery out of the back of her phone (2006)
"So how do I get a different SIM card? Mine always gets hot when I plug the phone in to charge."
I gave a hilariously stupid answer once. I was in somewhere between 6th and 8th grade, and we were learning about solving triangles (which I couldn't do now to save my life. There are different ways to solve them, and the methods have names: side angle side (SAS), angle angle angle (AAA), etc. Anyway, I was spaced out as usual, and my teacher asked me to name a method, and I said, "...ASS?" Everyone was laughing. I had no idea why, and the teacher said, "Let's keep that between us."
Not a teacher, but a student in my class once said, when asked what Michelangelo's most famous works were, that he was the one who painted the Mona Lisa...
She was completely 100 percent sure of this, too, for some reason. Also, she was 16 years old back then.
Scp-1404 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question that I just answered five seconds prior from the student who wasn't paying attention.
JoeKkerr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, In 6th grade. The teacher asked my friend a question to which he spelled all the words wrong, same with other two , she was furious over kids having ego regarding their English.
Teacher : (In a furious voice) Cant you ask me if you are not able to spell something ?
OverSmart Kid : (singing voice)Miiiiisssssss whaaat iss thissssss ?
Teacher : (after two seconds pause, eyes red) SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH
A student once asked me if "The Martian" was based on a true story.
heelydon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was once this girl in physics class, talking about how gravity works. She was around 14 at the time.
She would start questioning how it worked etc, and at the end she would make a very serious question.
If she were to stand upright, and do a sitting motion on a poolcue, if she trained really hard, would she be able to lift herself up from the air?
I was absolutely shocked.
I was a high school senior taking an English course in which the teacher had us write extemporaneously on a subject of her choosing for five minutes at beginning of each class. On this particular day, I didn't understand the question, and was surprised to see everyone involved in writing. I had to raise my hand and ask "what is a 'caverage?' She looked at me with some confusion, so I read the topic of the day outloud "Should student athletes be required to maintain a caverage?" My fellow students laughed when she said "that says 'C average.'"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bekastek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess... Florida?
katasian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, a math problem started like this:
"There were 8 coconuts at the top of the coconut tree..."
A student raised her hand and asked completely seriously,
"Ms. XXXX, how did the coconuts get up into the tree?"
Not a teacher, but I remember some interesting questions from classmates my senior year in high school.
The day the infamous earthquake/ tsunami hit Japan (2011), my economics teacher had a mental breakdown during class. She had not heard from her relatives living over there, unsure if they had even survived. She explained to us that she was going to wait by her phone all class, and not teach for the day. While the rest of us were understanding of what she was going through, some guy asked "if she was still collecting the homework." Completely serious.
On a separate occasion, we were discussing majors in my English class until one girl asked if "you need a degree to be a barista."
-"I guess you just missed more questions than you thought"
zaglamir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was not the teacher, but a girl in my 11th grade history class once stopped to ask the teacher how to spell "ID" in her notes. That pretty much ended the class for the day because all we did afterwards was laugh.
I'm not a teacher but one time in 1st grade we were in the library listening to lady read a book, and the lady asked if anyone had any questions and some girl raised her hand. It went like this:
Lady: yes, what is your question?
Girl: ummmm this weekend I went to my grandma's house
Lady: yesssss very nice.
I was in sex ed my junior year and the teacher asked how much came out when a man would orgasm. A girl (who was experienced in this area) raised her hand and confidently said "A quart."
Also not a teacher, but my step dad is a teacher in a High School vocational technologies sub division; welding to be specific.
It's also not really a question. But he had a senior (year 12) student who couldn't read. This student wasn't mentally challenged, he just couldn't read. They had to provide him with a helping proctor that would read tests to him.
More question related:
He had one of my buddies in his class at one point. As part of the class they do 3D art and despite how it actually looks, they are judged on their cuts and welds. One girl wasn't doing very well, and my step dad want afraid to say so. My buddy asked "Can you stop being a dick to her?"
And after a brief confrontation, my buddy ended up being thrown across the shop.
And before anybody asks, yes, he deserved it. And yes, my step dad was reported for it, and they did investigate; he was given a warning. My buddy had a record of doing shit like that to a lot of teachers. The school thought it best for him to learn a lesson and he wasn't hurt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching background information on the Trojan War before The Odyssey, I had a student ask "Wait, how would they fall for that? Wouldn't they be able to tell it wasn't a real horse?"
GXD15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in the eight grade I was sitting in my History class and the kid next to me asked me if Mount Rushmore was actually real
I primarily teach social studies, but I teach one section of 7th grade health.
I made the assumption that every 7th grader knows how babies are made.
During one class period on the female reproductive system, we were having a mature discussion on pregnancy, the uterus, etc. One girl put her hand up and asked "So when do babies just show up in a woman's stomach? Like do they just appear all of a sudden at a certain age?"
I thought quickly on my feet, said we'll talk about that next week, e-mailed her parents, and they were grateful to have it as their opportunity to talk to her about the birds and the bees that night.
8th grade Chem, a student exclaims "Wait a second, tin can't evaporate, it's a metal!"
bekastek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In all fairness, I was approximately 15 before I realized that an atom is smaller than a cell. I had learned about them in juxtaposition and assumed their respective nuclei were the same size. It blew my MIND when my high school biology teacher told me that we've never seen an atom under a microscope before, in response to a stupid question of mine.
And for what it's worth, I'm currently applying to PhD programs in biochemistry.
zero_dgz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At one point in history, there might have been a high school that needed you. The offender is probably retired by now.
I once had my 9th grade Biology teacher go off on a 20 minute tirade about how microscopes are important because no one can see a single cell with the naked eye. She was not amused when I mentioned eggs in front of the entire class and illustrated that she was technically wrong.
My teacher in 4th grade told us a story of when a car tried to run her over, to which one of my classmates asked with all seriousness "did you die?"
Skeatsie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was a teacher now a nursing student. Worst questions I have ever heard go to a classmate. Some winners are:
"Does wine count as alcohol?"
She was serious. And around the age of 28.
Not a teacher but one girl in my high school geometry class asked "but why isn't a triangle a quadrilateral?" And the teacher literally patiently counted the sides and defined "tri" and "quad" and the girl still couldn't understand. She was confused about for the rest of the semester.
Teacher: Your classmate won't be able to come to the training camp because she has scoliosis. She even has braces for it.
Another classmate asks me.
"What does the scoliosis have to do with teeth?"
V0rt3x91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once had an 8 y/o ask me how to spell 'ok'.
Kid: Sir, how do you spell ok?
Me: Really?
Kid: How do you spell ok?
Me: o...k...
Kid: yes, how do you spell ok?
Other kids are giggling at this point.
Me: it's spelt 'o' then 'k'
Kid: thanks!
This child also asked me how to spell 'USA' as well a few months later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there's people who attend MIT.
And there's people who can't spell MIT.
No teachers involved, but my mom used to work for Hershey park and her job often inclued working info desks. One day she was working the desk in the arboretum with another young woman when she had an interesting interaction with a dad.
Dad: "Excuse me miss, what's that growing in the banana tree?"
My mom: "Bananas"
Dad: "look kids theres bananas in the banana tree!"
She also had a guy pull up next to her and ask for directions to the park because she was in uniform on her way home. Thing was she was standing beneath a massive Hershey Park โก sign.
Not a teacher, but in a Humanities class (in high school, we were all 17 or 18) the teacher projected a picture of the Mona Lisa. A girl who was also in my AP studio art class asked if it was painted with acrylics.
Mexkimo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In reference to the anaconda plan: "Miss are there still snakes that big?"
dillow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Directions on a test said "Draw a duplicated chromosome. Label the centromere and sister chromatids." Student asked me what he was supposed to do for the problem. :(
Not a teacher, but I had to take a religion class back in college and one of the assignments was a group activity in class where we had to come up with different categories and compare different religions' beliefs in each category.
One group did religious holidays. This Jersey Shore-looking neanderthal gets up says, and I quote, "Lots of religions have holidays...like Christians have Christmas, and Jews have Hanukkah, and Buddhists have Ramadan."
I was a T.A. for a beginner college math class a long time ago.
One day a (very pretty) student came into the room looking visibly flustered. Plopping down her assignment on the table she says "how do I solve this problem" but before I can get through it she cuts me off and points to another number of the assignment saying "how do I solve this one", she does this a couple of times getting more irritated and never letting me finish. Anyway, I try to be patient and walk her through the math problems, and when I am almost done explaining she asks "Which one is the x-axis and which one is the y-axis?".
She also couldn't figure out how to use her Scientific Calculator for basic functions, and I had to walk her through that too, wasn't easy because the more information I gave her the more frustrated she kept getting.
Once a grad. Student who already got a college placement in an petroleum company said , while I was explaining something related to how the oil will evaporate and will catch fire. He said " what! How can oil evaporate ? If I keep oil in freezer it won't freeze , so how can it evaporate? "
I literally had no words
Audrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do they get the sauce out of a buffalo to make buffalo wing hot sauce?"
When I was a sub teacher I was showing an episode of Cosmos to a science class, one kid about 16 years old asks "sir, is he really flying around in that thing?"
The ship of the imagination had shrunk down and went inside a dew drop at this in the episode.....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the third grade I asked my DARE instructor if Reno 911 was real
Not a teacher but the was this girl in my class always asking the stupidest questions. Once on carrear day a guy made a joke about when he went to school, "you rode dinosaurs there". She raised her hand and asked "Did you really ride a dinosaur to school?" She was dead serious. Everyone cracked up.
I've had lots of instructors go on a tangent/aside or tell interesting facts that were not tested later. Sometimes it's worth it to provide information freely without any expectation of retention.
Not to be mean but I was in a class and a student asked this very question, to which the teacher replied
"What's the dumbest question I've ever been asked?"
"Probably yours right now, because even if I answer it all your getting in your quest for knowledge is an example of stupidity."
"Congratulations"
Had an entire class on Sputnik and satellites during high school. End of class teacher asks if anyone had questions and a young lady in the class asked "what is a satellite?"
TIL that there definitely such things as stupid questions.
Mark8547 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I forget the exact context but I was talking about how it was difficult to travel somewhere because mountains were in the way.
Student: "If mountains were in the way why did't they just chop them down?"
Me: "... 'chop them down?' ...."?
Student: "Yeah."
Me: "Chop them down.... like a tree?"
Student: "Yeah!"
She looked at me like I was stupid. I wasn't sure how to answer that question. She was 15.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I have some pretty cringey stories from when I was in school. The one I remember most was in freshman biology (high school), and we were talking about bioaccumulation, and at the mention of plankton, some girl sitting near me blurts, "Wait, there's actually a thing called plankton? I thought it was just a name made up for SpongeBob!"
This was a regular 14-15 yo girl. How did you miss 3rd grade science?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "Do you have any questions?" crickets for 30 seconds Ok, then you may begin."
Student: "Wait what are we supposed to do again??"
It illicits groans from teachers and other students alike.
I wonder how many of these stupid questions are jokes that the awkward teachers on reddit didn't catch on to, or thought that the class was laughing with them instead of at them.
Fabgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student. In high school Spanish class, one of our words was "pollo" which we were told meant chicken. Someone said they thought "gallina" was chicken. The teacher responded that in Mexico you would say pollo for "a dead chicken, the kind you eat". A girl shouts out "OMG! They eat DEAD chicken in Mexico?"
Not a teacher, but in lecture junior year of college I was in a lab safety course and they were talking about different scenarios when a face shield would be necessary. A girl raised her hand and asked "what extra protection does a face shield give you compared to googles?"
The instructor just looked confused, paused and said "...the rest of your face"
That question doesn't seem as dumb as many of the others in this thread. Maybe the "dumb" part of it is the altitude. If you could drop a bagel from high enough, it would accelerate enough that it would incinerate in the atmosphere once it hit it.
Not a teacher but one of my classmates asked why we call it "the west coast". Turns out she thought California, the state she'd lived her entire 16 year life in, was located on the east coast around the Virginia area. It came as a shocker to her too that Alaska and Hawaii were not off the Mexican coast.
A grown man was playing a trivia game(grown ass man probably 45) and the question was wich of the following is a continent a country and a island. When he answered wrong he looked up and asked, australia's a island. Then protested the game has a glitch and that Australia is connected to something. Im not a teacher nor him a student but still had to share
Around the holidays, I occasionally put one of those cheesy holiday Yule logs on my class projector as my students work. One of my seniors walked in and sincerely asked if the video was heating the classroom...
A girl in my class said "she had never said anything stupid in her life". She was the type that made the classes go really slowly for everyone because she asked a lot of question. That's good on her, but it really sucked for those who did understand the class.
I laughed my ass off. She said so many stupid things in her life, but that's not even the point. I like to think I'm pretty clever, maybe I'm not, but I sure as hell do know a lot of smart people. We all say stupid shit all the time. Let alone her off all people never saying anything stupid. I said "that's statement is stupid it all by itself, so yeah you have".
I'm not a teacher just a student who's heard stupid shit, a kid in my CP Sophomore Lit class asked the teacher, "When are we gonna use reading in real life?" Straight-faced....
Joie7994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's little sister once said this to her bio teacher: "The esophagus? Isn't that like the dinosaur with wings?"
My roommate TAs an orchestration class for the music department at an Ivy League school. He's a percussionist, so he was pretty excited when they got to the lecture about percussion in the orchestra. As they're going through the different instruments, one particularly enthusiastic student raised his hand when the xylophone came up.
"Why does the xylophone look like that? Isn't it supposed to be rainbow colored?"
He was thinking about the toy xylophones you give babies. He thought they all looked like that.
biorogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
late to the party but a coworker and I were in the classroom discussing a camping trip I had taken to Colorado. I was talking about the bears that would come around our camp site. This student, who mind you is 14 years of age, asked and I kid you not, "Wait, bears are real? I thought they were made up, y'know, like giraffes."
We had no response. I just stood there no believing what I had just heard.
Had a U.S. History teacher in junior high school that jokingly taught, during the revolutionary war period, that gorilla warfare was when we bright over gorillas from Africa and trained them to fight by hiding in the trees, then jumping down on the British soldiers and ripping off their limbs and beating them to death with them. He classified after that he was joking, and explained it correctly, but the day of the test people were still asking if they actually bright over gorillas to fight and some students still wrote the obviously wrong answer down on the test.
My year 7 English class was reading a period play, in which the characters were debating the merits of a round Earth theory. We ran out of time and had to pack up. At that point, a student, who had been totally engrossed, in all seriousness said "So what is it, round or flat?". Lovely girl, bless her, but geography was not her strong suit at that point.
Had a student ask me, "Did the ancient Egyptians talk like they wrote." I was confused and asked her what she meant. She then said, "I mean, do they speak by saying bird, bird, ankh, eye."
She was asking me if they spoke in hieroglyphs. It was hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student ask me "is Canada A continent?" I'm a teacher for a 7th grade history class in the United States. I was at a loss for words on how to respond to her.
Ugh, not a teacher but when I was in the 7th grade my teacher asked the class what we thought were large cat breeds. I confidently and seriously shouted, "Cheshire cats!"
He went silent for a few moments while staring at me then started chuckling. The kicker was that the dude next to me said, "oh yeah I hear those get pretty big."
That was the day I learned that the Cheshire cat is fictional character and not a breed of cat. I still cringe to myself thinking about that.
Yea, she got kicked out of school. The next year some kids in my class showed me videos of her beating the shit out of some girl at the local park. Then she went on house arrest. Good times. I teach in the hood btw.
Not a teacher but a dude I used to work with thought that the Moon was further away from the Earth than the Sun.
"But it looks smaller, that means it's further away right?"
After I explained it to him he then asked:
"Oh but won't the Moon melt during an eclipse then?"
We were working on a building site, poor kid got so teased.
Not a teacher but: Someone in my global history class who thinks she is very smart and is always rude to others for not knowing something asked if anyone died during the bombing of berlin in WWII. In 9th grade. She followed up by asking if anyone died in WWII. Smh.
I am not a teacher but a classmate of mine back in 8th grade proposed this question to my poor health teacher when we were learning about the menstrual cycle; "Mr. ****, what would happen if you went down on your wife when she was on her period..have you ever?... Were you just like; ALALALALALALA? (violently licking the air in-front of his face)"
A British friend of mine who is 23 years old couldn't remember whether the current British queen was Queen Elizabeth 1st, 2nd or 3rd.
She also asked us what the capital of Afghanistan is before asking 'Is it Iraq or Iran?'
parada45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the US
Once in a French class someone asked if animals have different accents
I'm a health teacher and we were discussing fetal development.
While talking about gestation, a student genuinely asks (albeit with nerves), "Can like, a human swim inside a whale's vagina?"
No one laughed. We were all dumbfounded.
After gathering my thoughts, we concluded that it was plausible, but only if the orifice was open; however, the diver would probably get crushed once it closed.
baccgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I did have to explain to a fellow year 7 student that in math, "division" and "goes/going into" were the same bloody thing!
I'm in University, and last year I was taking a fourth year Renaissance Theatre class. There was a lot of focus on Shakespeare among a few other authors. We were assigned presentations, so each week someone had to present on the topic/work that we were reading. One girl was doing a presentation on Two Noble Kinsmen (a play written by John Fletcher and William Shakespeare). The girl had a picture up on the projector of William Shakespeare (probably one of the most well known pictures of Shakespeare ever). My friend sitting next to me kept looking at me like I should be saying something, so when I wouldn't engage (because it's rude to talk during a presentation), she raised her hand and said "Were John Fletcher and Shakespeare related? Because he looks a bit like Shakespeare in that picture"
I fucking lost it laughing, looked at her and said "Dude, that is Shakespeare". My prof looked like she was trying to keep it together, but politely asked me if I needed a minute to collect myself outside.
Back in highschool we had a sub in astronomy and he was rambling about who knows what when out of the blue this girl asks "wait... If we have airplanes why don't we have land and water planes?"
The whole class got quite at the wrong time and all you heard was me saying "bitch, do you mean cars and boats?" The whole class erupted in laughter. The sub found it funny enough to not write me up.
Not a teacher, but this happened in a high school class (3rd year i believe). It was in a lit class and we were going over a short story in which there was a quarantined area mentioned in said story. The girl raises her hand and says "Wait, isn't quarantine a disease that gets into the ocean?"
Another one from my economics class my 4th year. Econ professor was talking about how to cite sources for our paper. Different girl raises her hand and asks "Instead of the author, can we just put the person who wrote it?" This was a senior in high school....what.
I'm sure i have more, but those are definitely the most memorable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my colleagues asked me (after we were supposed to be teaching it for a few days), "Why does the textbook say tenths are bigger than hundredths?"
bobk2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were comparing the distance from NY to San Francisco via the Panama Canal vs the long way around Cape Horn, and I was asked, "Why not go straight across?" "In a boat?" "Yes!"
Evidently the US is water and the oceans are land.
This happened a few years ago. I was teaching 9th graders and I forget why, but we were on the subject of state capitals in conjunction with whatever we were doing. (I teach English, so state capitals don't come up very often). One girl in my class asked very innocently, "So, what's our capital?".
At first I thought she was being a smart-ass, so I said something back like "Oh, you know what it is." But she kept repeating the question as the other students in class just turned to look at her. I finally realized that she was completely serious, so answered "Sacramento."
Our school is located in Sacramento. She didn't know the state capital of California is Sacramento. While she was enrolled in a Geography class. In Sacramento.
I still think about this moment and how she's doing in life.
I'm not a teacher, but this question is indeed very stupid that I overheard. This is back when the big earthquake in Haiti happened. So my school had little donation baskets in every room where you could donate goods that would go to the Haiti relief effort. Now I went to a small country school in Western PA and we had our fair share of dumbass rednecks. It's study hall. Small school so all grades are in the study hall. One of these aforementioned dumb rednecks who was a senior at the time was quizzically staring at the donation box. Then suddenly breaking the silence of sleeping teenagers and people doing homework he asks "Who's Haiti and why does she need our help?". He never lived that down until the day he graduated.
PjsandPi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had just come back from maternity leave and one of my 9th graders was asking about my baby. Mostly normal questions until he asked, "So does he have his eyes open yet?" I kind of had to pause..... The other 9th graders had to remind him that I did have a HUMAN baby, not a cat.
I am a victim of this. In middle school during sex Ed class I literally asked my teacher, "doesn't the guy have to work more because?" and I proceeded to do the humping motion...
Let me tell you how the class reacted...I don't want to
I once in grade school asked why the oceans were salty if all the rivers were fresh water ... I was made to feel so stupid that when I noticed that the coast S.A. looks like it would fit in the coast of Africa I didn't speak up.
ps. I'm still stupid but at least I know you are but what am I.
I work in retail. Several years ago we got a new store manager. During our first staff meeting with her she introduces herself: "Hi, I'm Kelly. It's nice to meet you all. I've been with the company for ten years. I don't have any kids, but I have a chocate lab."
Another supervisor perks up and exclaims "Wow! That's so interesting! So, do you eat the chocolate that you make or sell it?"
When i was in college, i was in a course talking about Marx and alienation in the workplace. This one girl raised her hand up cause she was confused and asked something on the lines of "when Marx talks about alienation, is he talking about aliens?" I remember just looking at her and then back to my teacher and his face was just like wtf. Lol she was pretty fucking weird though
These are great. I am trying not to laugh too audibly as my students watch Romeo and Juliet kill themselves.
Htooms1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Several of my coworkers are at lunch and we had the TV on and something about SATURDAY Nigh Live came up and the Office manager said "I should watch that show but I don't know what time it's on?" OK so the entire room froze thinking we are being trolled. So me being the brave one(she was either the sweetest person or satan) asked her if she was serious? Then it gets weird and well.. She ask "yes I'm serious I don't watch the fucking show what day is it on?" So I say very very slowly " you don't know what nite SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE is on?" she is still fuming and mad I have not answered the question. So I repeat my question it dawns on her and all hell broke loose she called me every name in the book and did not speak with me for several months.
EDDad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I had a fellow student who couldn't remember if the Energizer bunny was for Duracell or Energizer and asked me which one it was. He was totally serious too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why does that actress always play an Asian woman?"
TaedW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually my wife's story from her 5th grade class a few years ago, but it's my favorite of all of her school stories. Teacher is my wife, and Student is one of her 5th graders. When she does sex ed every year, she has open question time, where the kids can ask any sex question they want.
Teacher: Now that we're done with the sex ed topic of the day, does anyone have any questions?
Student: I heard that this woman had like dog babies or something.
Teacher: No, that cannot happen. Humans can only have human babies.
Student: What would happen if you have sex with an animal?
Teacher: You'd annoy the animal. It would probably bite you.
Student: No, really -- what would happen if you had sex with an animal?
Teacher: No. Really. You would annoy the animal. It would probably bite you.
[I had originally posted this years ago on \r\TeacherTales.]
In 6th grade a boy in my class was reading a story out loud. The sentence was something along the lines of: "The family packed the moving van and left for their new home." He asked the teacher "Wait, how would you pack a moving van? That's gotta be hard if it's not staying still."
I'm so late to this party, but I have a few stories.
From my student teaching days, I gave the students an assignment to write their opinion on some topic. One of the kids just sat there, not doing much for a few minutes. I went to check in on him, to see if he had questions. "I don't know how to do it," he says. "What's an opinion?" This student was in 7th grade.
In my last year of teaching, I was teaching World Geography to a class of 7th graders. I literally had a student who could not identify the country that she was currently sitting in. I literally had no idea how to respond, so I started saying the words of the Pledge of Allegiance to her. It didn't help.
I once gave my class a short story with the author's name on it and the date of publishing. The author was a man and the date was 1930. One student, age 18, asked me, if I had written that myself! (I am 28 years old and female)
In grade 8 I once asked a teacher what a scrotum was.
My friends were laughing that I didn't know what it was. So I got the dictionary and was flipping threw it when the teacher walked by and asked what I was looking up. I told him, "Scrotum. Do you know what it means?" He turned bright red and walked back to his desk. That was an embarrassing day
R82017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the first grade I recall this kid raising his hand during the abcs and the teacher is all What have we learned here today class , this kid stands up and says " yeah ,can I go poppy tomorrow ?" The whole classs laughed for ten minutes straight
Obligatory not a teacher, but when I was a freshman (not that long ago) these 2 girls in my English class asked if Islam was a country. Yes, they were serious. No, it was not a joke.
In my anatomy and physiology class we were talking about how hormones influence the growth of various tissues, including how males generally have deeper voices as a result of testosterone levels. A student raised her hand and asked "is that why gays have higher voices? Because of their lower testosterone?" Never want to make a student feel dumb, but wow, didn't know where to begin with that one. Oh yeah, this is a college class.
In physics class the teacher projected the Earth orbit around the sun. A girl then asks; "teacher, how long does it take for the Earth to make 1 lap around the sun?"
Not me, but I know someone who is a professor at Stanford Law. Someone wrote that Russell Crowe was the 13th president of the United States on her exam.
Today I was explaining a family tree poster project that my students would be completing. After I explained the basics, I asked if anybody had any questions. One student called me over and said, "My family doesn't have any trees." I wasn't sure what she meant at first so I had to ask for some clarification. She said, "Like, my family doesn't have any trees in our house, so, what should I do?" I then explained that she did not need to bring an actual tree to class.
I teach kids with emotional impairments. During health class I have a time when students can ask any question to me, no matter how silly. We were on our human sexuality unit (sex edu) and I had a student who would ask me some interesting questions. Here they are a few..
If you froze a condom and had sex with a girl with it, would it freeze her pussy?
I remember as a kid hearing about how awful HIV was and how you got it from "sex" a long time before I ever actually understood what sex was. Nobody ever explained enough about the mechanics, so I thought it was just a thing that people spontaneously developed from doing anything that I thought was sexual (e.g. kissing). I could totally see how a kid might have that kind of misunderstanding.
I once as a child during the whole "Don't die of ignorance" campaign in the UK watched a doctor talking about the whole business and his phrasing was a little off. He was saying "there's many myths about AIDS. You can't catch it from half the things people think you can. you can't catch it from sitting on the toilet seat, kissing and cuddling..." and on he went.
My infant mind was bemused as to why two people would sit on the toilet to kiss and cuddle.
Given my ignorance, it's kind of lucky I didn't die.
Not teacher. The missus is. I'm a Student Relations Officer.
I get asked some daft questions... however she could write a book.
"Will my password have changed now that I'm 17?" one girl asked her. Their default password is their date of birth.
When told that the English Language had changed much over the last 500 years, one student remarked "500 years ago? Weren't we all monkeys then?"
Yes love. And some of us still are.
I taught grade 5 and had a police officer come in to talk about cyber bullying. When the presentation was over the officer opened for questions. The first question was, "Is it illegal for a 10 year old to drive a horse?"
His uncle had let him ride a horse the weekend before.
jlange94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I have a friend who once asked the health teacher during sex week, ver batim "Can you get pregnant from sperm in the butt?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the late 80's and I taught in a computer lab at a tech trade school (for what was called in those days) data processing. Since this was a technical trade school the students were all older, some in their 40's or 50's even. The lab courses were usually pretty easy, even for a time when computers weren't near as common as they are now. Many of the computing courses required access to a terminal workstation that was connected to a mainframe.
One of the classes I taught lab for was the BASIC programming language. As its name suggests it's quite a simple language to learn and is usually the first programming language students are taught (at least in those days, I don't know about today) in order to demonstrate basic computing concepts to students.
I had one student, I'll call him Brian, who was not only falling behind but was probably on the verge of being kicked out of the school. They gave me the task of trying to do some one-on-one tutoring with him in order to help him catch up with the lab courses that he was failing.
One vital concept of programming is the idea that a variable can hold, or store a value in the program's memory. Attempting to use a metaphor to explain this ridiculously simple concept I explained "Think of a variable as a box where you store something. Lets suppose for example that I were to put a bar of chocolate into a box. Later when I reach into the box and draw out the item that I had stored there earlier, what will I get?"
Expecting the answer that even a child would give, "chocolate", I was surprised when Brian said the answer back immediately: "fudge?"
The year was 1987 -- I recently googled this guy's name and found out that years ago he spent time in and out of prison -- so while the above story is kind of funny, it's also pretty damn sad.
lajamey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 9th grade student ask me, "Is Obama the President of Texas like he is for the United States?"
I'm not a teacher but in high school I had this fine moment. In Spanish class, the teacher asks me to translate a passage (written in English). I say, "sure, in what language?" He looks at me dumbfounded but quickly recovers to say, "how about in Swahili." I thought, "yep, I'm not too bright."
I'm a sophomore. We were doing heating curves in regents chem. Late in the unit we were looking at the heating curve of benzene and a kid raises his hand and asks "How does the boiling point of the water change from graph to graph?" The kid thought every heating curve was of water...
duncurr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in a high school art class, there was a small exchange between a classmate and the teacher that went something like this:
Teacher: "Now this is our only Romanian artist."
Classmate: "Is he Italian?"
Cracked me right up.
VolJin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a class when a friend of mine asked my teacher "what are those vertical lines on the board?"
Im not a teacher but was asked by a British student where I was from. I replied "Norway", she had no clue where that was. This was in Switzerland at an international school.
G00Punch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is the technological term for a pussy?" This was in a sophomore biology class at an inner city school.
We were reading The Odyssey and a student asked me if there really was an island with a giant cyclops on it. At first I was really confused because I was like in the book, yeah! But she was like no, right now. After figuring out she was being 100 percent serious I had to explain that The Odyssey was fictional which meant it didn't really happen.
I'm a uk secondary school teacher and I overheard a 16 year old student asking her friends
'how do you spell PVA?'
And another kid answered
'PEVA'
I had to hide the fact I nearly wet myself laughing.
My senior year of high school on the first day of government class our teacher handed us a map of the US and told us to try and label the states. We went over it and when we were done one of the girls raised her hand and with the most serious face asked, "but there's 52 states isn't there?" When asked 'what are the other states' she said she didn't know but she was sure that there was 52 states.
I teach psychology. I was introducing Sigmund Freud. A student asks, "Isn't that the guy in the circus with tigers?" She was referring to siegfried and roy
i am not a teacher, but i heard something at work that a college-educated coworker asked me that is equivalent to a child's question. Thi almost 30-year old asked me "what do you think cardboard is made out of?"
I remember in high school as a senior, a girl asked my history teacher if it's possible to swim under the continents.
jerdiaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a college vertebrate zoology course while the professor was discussing how long it took elephants to reach sexual maturity, one of my classmates asked: "was that in human years or elephant years?"
I'm a science museum educator, and the amount of people who think that jupiter is bigger than the sun is astounding. Anyway, the best questions come from little kids. My favorite so far has been a small boy who very quietly asked me "can I eat the sun?"
Not really a question but one of the kids in my chemistry class was asked to name 4 elements. I guess they forgot it was chem because they answered:
"Fire, water, air, earth"
Really didn't see that one coming. Don't think they ever lived it down.
We were taking about WWll and general warfare when a kid asked what the record for longest sniper shot is. Being the curious one I am I looked it up to find the longest recorded shot was a little over a mile and a half. One kid in the back as serious as could be asked me "That's what like 2 football fields?" Luckily the other kids did it for me to inform him he was wrong. They weren't as nice about it though. It took everything in me not to laugh at him.
Graendal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Canadian living in the US and I volunteered at a high school the first year I was here. The students were very curious about me being Canadian. One question I got was, "Did you vote for the Queen?"
I'm not a teacher, but during my junior and senior years I was in an Air Force Junior ROTC program and we had a planetary astronomy class we took our senior year. During the unit on the gas planets, one of the students asked "Could we take a match into space... And blow up Jupiter?"
Not a teacher, but in my freshman year English class we were reading some classic, potentially Of Mice and Men, maybe To Kill a Mockingbird, can't quite remember. A classmate of mine kept asking these very simple questions like "wait, what did the character do? " and such, very clearly he had not done the reading. I, the quiet girl of the classroom, finally raise my voice and say "maybe if you had read the book you would know the answers to your questions." Teacher kinda looks at me with shock and thanks as classroom does the collective "oooooh."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach low-level government to 12th graders...some of which are of voting age. I get a TON of dumb questions but even dumber answers.
One girl in particular cracks me up every time we take a current event quiz. One that stands out from her was the answer to a question asking: "What East African nation is in the middle of mass protests" ... This was an open notes quiz ... her answer was simply "Ohio"
She is a functioning student who wasn't trolling or trying to be funny....she simply had no clue that Ohio is not located in Eastern Africa...
Hoorayyyy social studies education in public schools! /s
Not a teacher, but there was a person in my high school graduating class who became infamous for sincerely asking the question: "How do you spell orange? Not the color, but the fruit."
Teaching American history about 15 years ago, a student asked if we had any chance of the buffalo returning to the wide open fields on the prairie. Another student asked "What's a buffalo?" I said well, actually they're not buffalo, they're bison. "What's a Bison?" Well, it's like a hairy cow? I didn't know how to explain it. Brought in a picture the next day.
One of my classmates asked my teacher "What's better, satisfactory or non-satisfactory?"
raxtrae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do we have any questions?"
"When's lunch"
"Do we have any questions about math?"
"What's a dinner roll?"
histeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was teaching about the African Trading Kingdoms...a student asked "ohhhh so Mr. Histeach Gonorrhea comes from Ghana!?" Priceless. Those things make me laugh and love my job.
Not a teacher but a friend at a bonfire after a highschool football game asked 'will my black socks make my legs tan faster near the fire since it attracts heat?'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Aopap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow at least when i was a kid i thought they open the belly with a surgery
Not a professor, but was in a chemistry class that just got done studying molecular structure of certain substances and a classmate asked the professor "why do sharp things cut things?" The professor promptly responded with laughter
I'm not a teacher, but still in graduation year. This year, a student in my Hebrew class asked, what the four German cases are. (We live in Germany) You basically learn this in primary school and I don't know how yoh can make it to grad year without knowing this.
(This just sounds a very little dumb to some other questions here, but it was still so shocking)
Aopap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
iBobRoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one
*stupidest
cash me ouside, howbow dah
kpmarsh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher, but in the class. It was a college physics class, we were learning about magnets and one student asked if you could see the magnetic lines of force.
a kid asked a question about the Code of Hammurabi:
"So does that mean if you hump a camel the camel gets to hump you?"
Redminty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid per se, but, my young ones often ask what people did after they died, what they did before they were born, and so on. That gets interesting.
I teach 3rd grade: Our smartest kid was flipping through his agenda and landed on a spot in the calendar that said something like "John McDonald's Birthday". Excitedly he shows it to me and goes on about how this man was the first prime minster of Canada during these years and what he did. Now keep in mind we're in a school in Texas. I just raised my eyebrows and said, "I'm not even going to argue with you. I'll take your word for it."
Cue one of the most clueless kids in class: "Did he come from McDonald's?"
In 4th grade I once answered that the US was in South America. I was confused by the local car commercials which talked about 'Southern California car dealers' and mistook that for South America.
I'm a nurse, not a teacher. Got this question about organ donation:
"Is she going to donate her brain?"
ManosPer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but once in an astronomy presentation, a 8 year old kid wanted to ask me a question in the end of the presentation which started like: ''40 years ago, where dinosaurs existed, ...''.
Wasn't teaching at this time, but in an undergraduate music history class, we were watching highlights from an opera. Around the act break, as two factions are about to start a brawl, a group of Romani (called "gypsies" in the libretto) come out for a ballet segment (in the narrative they're trying to diffuse the tense situation). The professor is explaining all this and one of my classmates asks, "are gypsies prostitutes?" As in, she thought "gypsy" was an occupation.
deej363 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but once someone asked in class "Are humans plants or animals?" This was 8th grade.
The exact same question that the student before them asked.
RavvQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but will share my story anyway. We've had a physics lesson about a pressure and how the larger and larger area is making it lower despite force being constant. So our teacher brought up a real life example which was when people are drowning because the ice on a lake cracked under their feet, the best way to rescue them is to put a ladder on the ice and walk on it (increasing the area = reducing pressure on ice - thus making it less likely to crack the ice). After hearing this one girl asked if putting a ladder on the ice will make a drowning person float instead of drowning. Entire class exploded with laughter...
Avol25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's a dildo?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher (me): So you are going to write a short essay about this book. It doesnt need to be a full sized essay, just one paragraph introducing a point you want to make, one point arguing about that point and a third point emphasizing why this argument is important to the book.
Student 1: How long should each paragraph be?
Teacher: About 3-5 sentences for the introduction and conclusion and just write until you are done arguing or until you hit the page limit.
Student 2: Do we have to write in point form or full sentences?
Teacher: (What I wanted to say) Bitch we just went over the sentence count.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a few I heard while in high school:
"Guys, what's Auschwitz? I don't know what that is."
"Is Africa a country?"
"Isn't a Cantelope like an animal or something?"
"Do they have trees in China?" said as a picture of the Great Wall was on the board.... with trees in the background.
I was in a college history class about the Medieval time period and some dude asked the professor "When did the pilgrims land in America". The professor actually asked him to leave the class.
I had a guy at the beginning of an undergraduate statistics class come to me with a question about his calculator. He said "When I put in something like '6-8' is the six coming out of the eight or is the eight coming out of the six?" I was like "Dude, if that's where you're at right now, you may want to take another course."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any philosophical question in an algebra 1 class
_Dorbii_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but Had a friend in Highschool get surprised that when you get a cut the blood comes from veins. She thought it just kind of filled our bodies similar to water in a balloon...
Not a teacher but in my 8th grade class we had a girl who was a bit of an air head, while discussing the chaos that happened that one time they broadcast War of the Worlds on the radio and how people didn't realize it was fictional she raised her hand and said "oh yeah, I remember that! I saw the crashed UFOs in England!" Keep in mind we had literally just finished talking about how this was a fictional story. Everyone in the class just stared at her for a few moments in utter silence.
jacoriem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So did you go to school to teach Science or did you major in something else? Mind you this is in the middle of my Science class.
I had a group of girls in my class. One of them started with something along the lines of "ok so when did ww2 end and what was the start of ww3?" Deadly serious. All her her friends laughed at her until one of them piped up to explain why she was wrong. "How the he'll could there have been all these other wars? We're still in world war 1 you idiot"
They were 12 years old and we had been studying 20th century Britain.
Student at the time, but hey I'm working on becoming a teacher, so...
Anyway. This was a stupid question, not because it was stupid to want an answer, but because the girl did not think asking the question through at all.
It was in a health class, and we were in a sex-ed segment. The teacher made some comment about the composition of semen, and one of the girls in the class speaks up and asks "wait, if it has sugar in it, why doesn't it taste sweet?", before promptly realizing what she asked and burying her now bright-red face in her arms.
Like I said, it's a legitimate question, but... Not the smartest thing to ask all the same.
Not a teacher but.....Was in Federal Prison in Cumberland,MD...whole lot of dudes were from the Washington D.C. area. One day we were at work looking at a U.S. map and he noticed the state of Washington in relation to where we were in Maryland and made the statement "No wonder I don't get any visits from my family, we all the way over here and Washington is all the way over here" Smh....
Not a teacher but doing A Level Geography, talking about continents and countries and a lad in my class said in front of everyone 'China is in the middle east'
Not a teacher and this didn't happen at school but when i was in high school my friends and I went to lunch at McDonalds and one of my friends asked if the cheesburger came with cheese. The cashier just looked at him and didn't know if he was serious or just fucking around with her for our sake. Nope, he was dead serious and me and the other guys in the group just looked at him like...really dude? That was an awkward 5 seconds of silence and awe
arafella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my younger brother asked his French teacher on the first day of class: "Do French people dig holes?"
This thread only further confirms I can never become a teacher because if anyone asks me shit like this I'll look at them like they've grown 3 heads and a tail.
"Well if second is secondary, then what's firstondary?"
"Do they have churches in Mexico?"
"Do they have God in Mexico?"
"Do they have schools in Mexico? Like... Buildings schools."
17 year olds. There's worse. There's plenty. I should keep a log.
Jaesaces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my 8th grade science class once asked how we know that dinosaurs aren't just hiding under the surface of the Earth.
_Milgrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7th grade Geography class, teacher was talking about animals being poached in Africa and a kid in the back asked "is that how they make zebra cakes?" and was completely serious.
I'm not a teacher, but I'm a chaperone for a middle school (grades 6-8) ski club (a club that offers students discounted lift tickets and a bus ride up to the local ski resort a few days during the winter)
It was the first trip and I was helping kids fill out information for ski/snowboard rentals; they had to fill out basic information: name, address, school, etc. I was helping the one girl fill out her information when we got to a question asking for shoe size. The girl turns to me and asks "what's my shoe size?" I had no words.
This bitch I used to work with claimed to have all kinds of social media experience, business experience, etc, but she ended up just being the owner's friend with just an Instagram and Pintrest.
We're in a meeting and going over quarterly numbers when she asks, "what about the numbers from the fifth quarter?"
sweadle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These mostly aren't stupid questions. A lot of them are surprising questions, that come from deductive reasoning (do whales cause tsunamis?)
As an actual teacher, I am sad that these students are treated as if their questions are stupid. The answer seems obvious if you know it, but we all learned these things at some point.
I'm way at the bottom of this but I had a high school student ask if a woman swallowed a camera to get the footage of a baby in the womb then asked if she pooped it out along with the baby
I am not a teacher, but i was a student in the class, and one girl asked, "I know my heart is in my chest, but since I can feel it in my wrist, does that mean it moves?"
90% of questions on ELI5 which could be googled, or the premise of the question is false. ie 'since the sun is cold, why is it warm in the sun?'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my own stupid question. When I went to BCT for the Army and they trained us on the gas powered M16 (the gas from the explosion of the gunpowder powers the charge for semi auto and burst, a fact I did not know) I studied the shit out of that rifle and couldn't figure out where they put the gas. I asked a Drill Sergeant and everyone laughed and I did push ups because the DS thought I was being a smartass.
Third grader just the other day asked how to spell E. I asked him to repeat himself because I thought I'd misheard. He repeated "how do you spell E?" I was all, like the letter? It's just E. He then said, "like in 'each other'" and it was then that I realized he thought that it was e chother, not each other.
My old psych teacher was also a history teacher, so the room was mostly covered in world history stuff. At the time, all of the stuff was religion themed (Islam, Christianity, and Judaism). There was a poster listing all of the facts about each of the religions (Holy days, people who worship, etc.).
One day, one of the kids, who was a year older than me (this was high school), asked the teacher "Abraham Lincoln was Jewish???" Almost pissed my pants from laughing.
I taught Spanish 1 and 2 my first year out of college at a rural public school. A senior politely raises his hand and begins to speak incoherent jibberish, quickly followed by "so, what'd I say?"
He literally thought he could mumble some nonsensical words and it was Spanish.
Not a teacher but in my sophomore Spanish class, when we were learning how to say the date in Spanish, we learned how to say the year and some kid dead ass raised his hand and asked "what year is it in Mexico?"
I teach 9th grade World History One. I'm very sarcastic and during the first day of school when giving an overview of the class I always mention that I will actually teach them about the aliens that built the pyramids but they couldn't tell anyone. Most of the kids know right away that I'm being sarcastic however one year during back-to-school night a mother pulled me aside and asked if I could tell her about the aliens because she knew they were real.
XwzXyz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade student: "Can I drop out now, or do I have to wait?"
I'm not a teacher but when I answered a question on why abuse happens I responded with genetically men are supposed to be stronger. And this girl in my class flipped out and asked the techer to prove me wrong.
w0rx4me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was younger I worked for a car rental company. One day I answered the phone, "Thank you for choosing Enterprise Rent-A-Car! How may I help you?"
Silence for 2-3 seconds then I hear, "Hi... uh... do you guys rent snow blowers?"
In 11th grade history class, just a few hours after the 9/11 attacks occurred, the teacher says, "I normally believe in the whole no stupid questions thing. But a student in the last class asked me if the clouds in the sky was actually smoke from the twin towers."
A girl in my math class asked "If a mom has a tattoo, will the baby be born with the tattoo?"
The same girl also told the teacher she wanted to take a road trip to Hawaii with her friend. She was shocked when the teacher told her she eventually had to take a plane or a ship to get there. She was convinced that there was a giant bridge that connected the continental United States to the Hawaiian islands.
1-Down ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a rule, 80% of the questions I get are absolutely stupid. They are either something we just talked about that they need repeated because they were not paying attention, about instructions they haven't bothered to read, or are completely off topic to the task at hand.
Asking a good, thoughtful question is so rare it's the highlight of the period and very likely the highlight of the day.
We were discussing the declaration of independence of America in history class, and a classmate asked if the framed one on the wall was the real original one. I live in Holland.
Not a teacher, but today in my geography class my teacher showed a picture of the landing on the moon, and a girl, 9th grade, asked: "How did humans create the moon?"
Not a teacher but a student. In 8th grade science class a girl asked if the sun ever got cold.
Oh_Petya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During middle school health class we were going over STD's when one student raised his hand and asked the teacher "If you have an STD and masturbate, do you give it to yourself?"
Early 2000s in a high school, a girl asked, "Wait, who won World War II?" Without missing a beat I said, "oh, Hitler. Didn't you see all the swastikas on your way into the building this morning?" I remember because it got a bigger laugh than I had expected. We then went on to discuss how many people in the class didn't know who won World War II. I hated most people in high school because of things like this. How could you not know?
Not a teacher but in my high school US history class I had a girl ask if the under ground railroad was really underground, and if we still use those subway tunnels today
Same girl after leaning about the holocaust said too bad all the Jews are gone.....witha Jewish teacher in the room
Not a teacher, but during an art history study group session about Masaccio's Expulsion of Adam and Eve, the girl from Tennessee asked in her lovely southern lilt: โNow, danfinger, Iโm not very schooled on these matters, but who was it that came first, Adam and Eve or Cro-Magnon man?โ
Stunned, I sat there, Considering the question. Originating from a legally adult woman, a junior in college, majoring in โInterior Designโ. Do I explain these concepts? Would she even understand the words I was saying?
I decided to play it safe and replied โI donโt know.โ Which technically isnโt a full on lie?
From this week, a 6th grade student blurted out in the middle of class, "Is it going to snow again this year?" We live in Minnesnowta and it's only January.
BA1554 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. BA1554, what do you for a job?"
Asked by a student in my 5th grade class.
Kid__A__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a high school student ask "do rocks have dna?"
He was not clear on where all the rocks came from or how new rocks came about.
totomaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What month comes after September?" It was October and that kid was a native English speaker in 10th grade.
nucumber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This wasn't in a class but I saw a girl at the beach running with a kite to get it aloft. She was running with the wind.
The teacher in our class was doing a Powerpoint presentation on Music and had a picture of Beethoven on one of the slides, one girl (in her 20's) raised her hand and said "Is he still alive?!"
noice5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a student who asked the question, "Why didn't Christopher Columbus just fly to America?"
Not a teacher, but a in freshman year of high school during a sort of Tax related problem in algebra the guy sitting next to me asked how many months there were in a year.
One time I asked my Spanish teacher how to say guacamole in Spanish, and not ten minutes later another kid asked her how to say burrito. I think she was ready to hit us.
I didn't say it for joke, I just had a brain fart, but I think her brain was about to explode.
I teach freshmen biology. A girl said " wait...doesn't ginger mean that you're a boy or girl?"
Jdaddyaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What state is the Mississippi River named after again?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of the first lecture for one of my university classes, the lecturer asked if anyone had any questions. Someone put up their hand and asked how many pictures they could use in their essay (protip: for English Lit? None, my friend)
MikexxB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, I'm just a 20 year old mate. But my sister did ask me once if music was around before our father was born.
Just for shits n giggles, he was born in '74 LOL
Obligatory not a teacher, also late, but in highschool we were watching a documentary about the merican revolution. Very obvious foreign language (with subtitles, mind you) in the movie.
second dumbest girl ever: what language are they speaking?
I teach cooking as part of my curriculum and a student was cooking chicken for the first time and came up to me panicked and worried and asked, 'why is it turning white?'... this student was 14 years old.
Reninz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my stats prof told us that he had a student ask him how many numbers were in the five number summary of a data set
I'm not a teacher, but in my tenth grade woodworking class, during the final one student shouted out "that's not fair, you never told us how many eighths were in an inch!"
I'm not a teacher, but I work at Subway and probably get stupider questions.
Just the other day I asked a woman if she wanted her salad chopped, she asked "What's the difference?"
I take pride in my customer service so I literally did not know how to answer without sounding patronizing. I just KNEW she was gonna get pissed if I said "a chopped salad is chopped up"
Also not a teacher, but the valedictorian of my grad using class was in an AP Biology class with me. When we were talking about mutations and being born with the wrong number of chromosomes she asked our teacher if "hypothetically speaking, you only got 21 chromosomes from one parent and ended up with only 44 total, would you be born a dog?"
Not a teacher but in 8th grade it was myself and two girls in a government class. Everyone else went somewhere else. We were going over the states and the teacher looked at one girl and pointed to Ohio. She looked confused and said, "I don't know, Canada?"
Back when I took drivers ed the instructor asked the class "What are you supposed to do when you see someone crossing the street?" A person in my class from another country said "Speed up!?"....
I teach middle school special education math and social studies. I had two male students get in a fight because one said the other was pregnant. They argued with the assistant principal and I about how males could get pregnant.
I had another student that told me he had never seen the moon.
Stupid questions.. you have no idea what I deal with daily.
Student: Excuse me- It's warm in here, can we open the door?
Teacher: No, the air conditioning is on- please wait a minute and it will cool down.
Student: ... Then can we open a window?
It was when a redditor posted a question on r/askreddit without knowing the superlative form of "stupid".
Lm0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hung out with a guy in 10th grade he asked me, in all seriousness: "wait dude, don't laugh, but do girls get pregnant through their vagina or their butthole?" ... I couldn't stop laughing and he was so embarrassed that he didn't know.
I was in my sophomore year of highschool irc... we were in Civics or something. Teachers father was a Vietnam War vet. Obtained a purple heart. My question to him.. "if you don't mind me asking, how did you obtain the purple heart".. he explains someone in his squad tripped a wire and a bomb went off and gave him a good dose of shrapnel among other things.. the first person to speak after he said that was a girl who goes "GASP.. you saw that?".. the look on his face was legendary
ronm4c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, when I was 16, in history class we were learning about WW2 and one girl in my class raised her hand and asked what Hitler's last name was.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this kid started dating my daughter, who begged us to let him come over for dinner. So we finally gave into her begging, let him come over, and he claimed he didn't know what a potato was. I started yelling at him and telling him to give it up and that we were onto his shit, but he seemed dead serious that he didn't know what a potato was.
19 year vet here. The most common, the classic, is the kid who, with total sincerity, asks a question about something that was just expressly discussed barely a moment prior. I try not to laugh, but it's always a terrific fun time for the other kids.
Heck no! We were so saddened by your absence that we lowered the flag to half mast and sang a requiem.
Also once asked why I wasn't in the office whenever a student happened to wander in, like I lived there.
Honestly, the stupid stuff was always about attendance, cheating, and crummy work habits. I was happy to answer just about anything having to do with actual lessons, even if it was a little out to lunch. At least I knew they were trying.
jdougles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school, a girl in my friend's class asked the teacher if squirrels had claws. This is the same girl who asked the teacher how boats get across the Equator ( I think she assumed it was an -actual- line or wall like it is depicted on globes).
Well I'm not a teacher, but one time I was in class and we were learning about the French revolution and we were about to wrap up the unit and one girl raises her hand and says "Wait this actually happened?"
Not a teacher, but I had a guy in my culinary class ask if the container of rock salt on my table was bread crumbs. Dead serious about it. He's at least 20 years old
10th grade biology: Do birds perch on high wires to keep warm because it's closer to the sun?
Samccx19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a fellow student once asked me who David Cameron was (this was whilst he was still prime minister). Now, given the right context this could be a perfectly appropriate question, but when you are studying politics and international relations at university in the UK and that student is on your course, that's an entirely different matter.
Not a teacher, but in middle school, we had a holocaust survivor visit our school and tell us all about it and how her family died during. So this girl asks a question and says "do you ever miss your family?"
Opposites here as i am currently a student and this is a dumb question said by a teacher. She wanted to increase the volume on an interactive whiteboard, so my friend told her to do it from the monitor.
Teacher asks what a monitor is
face palm
Not a teacher but I had a friend ask "is Russia a country or continent?" And when someone said that it was a country, he actually defended himself think Russia was a continent. I have never laughed so hard in a classroom before. Good times.
Coovyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but one of my friends asked the teacher, "What is behind the sun? We can't really see it, have they sent any rockets out there to take photos?"
Not a teacher but when I was in high a girl told us a story about when she was driving and saw some huge car in the fields and it had spikes on the front of it. We all just stared and laugh at her and someone says you mean a combine? She said I guess I don't know how am I supposed to know I'm not from Iowa. Then my teacher says because your from Nebraska. Then the girls says no I'm not I'm from Omaha...
In a government class, my senior year of high school, a kid asked what is democracy but said democracy phonetically like dim O cracy. Kid was dead serious and had no idea that's how democracy is spelled
I'm not a teacher but I have this guy in my classes at college and he will ask something the teacher just said. Example:
T - The grass is green!
G - So, you're saying, green is the color of the grass?
I had a student ask if Toasters used toaster waves to cook food, since microwaves used microwaves. Very smart girl, one of the top of the class, but had some crazy questions. She also asked about how left angles are different than right angles.
I am a teacher, but sophomore year I terrified a classmate in biology by convincing her that there were spiders the size of Volkswagens in South America.
Sex Ed class in middle school. I believe the speaker was from planned parenthood and she had a question box she passed around. One of the questions read "Is a boner a bone?"
Thaddus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on the animal in question. Humans, no, bears and cattle, yes.
Not a teacher, but when i was in sixth form (around 17 years old), after the teacher explained that one way to tell if something is a mammal is that it gives birth to live young instead of laying eggs (with few exceptions), one girl proceeded to ask "are horses mammals?"
Considering the previous explaination, the question could be translated to "do horses lay eggs?"
Other choice moments include explaining to her how gravity worked and informing her that clouds are water vapor.
"when was the War of 1812?". Asked just yesterday. To be fair, a lot of wars are named inaccurately, but this was after I had already told them a few times when it was.
A student, not a teacher. Last year a girl was in a regular bio class connected to my honors anatomy class by a lab room. She and the teacher come through the lab room so she can ask a question to another science teacher... "If an astronaut comes back to Earth they're landing in it right?" And tried to convince 1. The whole class and 2. Both teachers that if they land "on" earth they're landing in the atmosphere, but only if they land "in" earth they'll be able to walk around.
I'm not a teacher, but during my COLLEGE chemistry class our professor explained that if we were able to perfect and harness nuclear fusion that one square kilometer of water (for the hydrogen) would hold more energy than all the fossil fuels that have ever existed. After he said this a student raised their hand and said "but isn't that like all the earth's water?" My friend looked at me dumbfounded and said "They did not just say that." I was amazed how cool and calmly the professor explained that it was not the case.
Not a teacher but as a sixth former who takes maths we are sometimes asked to help lower school kids at lunchtime. I got partnered up with a kid from year 7 who couldn't answer what 10-4 was. I asked some questions only to find out the kid didn't understand what minus meant, and had no concept of negative numbers. The worst part was that this was a private school in which you had to pass an entrance exam to get in. How he managed to pass is beyond me.
S4ved ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl in my class ask our history teacher why there were two New Zealand's when we were preparing for a world geography test. This happened shortly after he had went on about how you couldn't learn history if you didn't have your geography straight, because you wouldn't be able to trace the actions and see the bigger picture. Although it was long overdue I still like to think of this incident as the sole reason why he retired at the end of the year.
A friend of mine, when we were 16, asked me "is an egg a vegetable?". After explaining to her that it was not, she proclaimed "then why is it always in salad".
First year chemistry graduate students at my institution typically get stuck TAing in the general chemistry help room. Lab one week was having the students experimentally determine what gas was in the balloon at the front of the room by measuring the rate of effusion.
While helping a student I informed them that their answer was impossible to which they responded, "Why can't the balloon be filled with Cadmium?"
Not a teacher, but a classmate. Intro level history course on Mayan culture. A student interrupted the professor because she wanted to ask "Is there proof of reincarnation?"
The question itself didn't bother me as much as the context of it being asked at the college level.
qlokas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How will this help me IRL"(math class)
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might not be stupid; depends on the math. I have never needed differential calculus. YMMV.
The thread is old so no one will see this. I am a teacher, but the dumbest question I've fielded was from a friend. It was sophomore year of college, three years ago, on 9/11. I was telling a friend that I had been to the 9/11 Memorial with my girlfriend and how moving it was. I told him how the most impactful sight was seeing the giant fountains/holes where the towers once were. The following dialogue took place:
F: ha, good one
Jfk: what's a good one....
F: You said where the towers were
Jfk: Yeah... Because they aren't there anymore?
F: Haha shutup
Jfk: Dude... Are you fucking with me? You know the towers fell right?
F: What? I thought the planes just flew into them..
Jfk: Yeah... Which caused them to fall. You have to be fucking with me, there's footage on the news every year on 9/11...There's documentaries... People always talk about it.
This was grade 10. I was student teaching. Was in an area that had some ski stuff and one of the students was a stoner kid who snowboarded all the time. He literally asked if Abraham Lincoln was actually a vampire hunter.
Someone asked me once what could a student do to get suspended or expelled. I told him two easy ones would be sexual harassment and a bomb threat. He then proceeded in telling the class he had a bomb. I had to call security........
It was during sex ed when I was 11, we dropped questions into an anonymous box so we didn't have to feel embarrassed about what we asked.
My question was 'how big are sperm?' because to my knowledge sperm looked like tadpoles and I had seen tadpoles, so I was worried tadpoles would wriggle out of my dick when I was a certain age and that terrified me.
The teacher looked at the question and sighed because she would now have to describe in detail the consistency of jizz to a bunch of kids. She looked around the room and said 'whose question is this?' but of course I didn't answer, she got irritated because she thought it was a joke and scrunched it up, telling the class would stay back if the person who wrote it didn't come forward.
We stayed in detention for half an hour.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What an awful teacher! How hard is it to say "so small you need a microscope to see them"?
Student here, 4th grade. "How do girls get that long hair..." I didn't have a clue
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are there characters in this book
DMagis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few that come to mind:
In early middle school, we watched a documentary about 9/11. As we saw the building collapse, one of the other genuine students asked: "Why didn't spiderman do something?" He was 100% serious.
A kid in that same school, during a discussion on std's, asked if men grew brocolli on their pubes from an STD.... It was...so random.
In same class, the same kid also asked if sound waves moved differently in japan and china because of the way they talked (in reference to english dubbed asian films, mind you)
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in early middle school, we watched a documentary about 9/11.
Not a teacher, but during my health class in middle school another student asked how giraffes had sex. Thought he was joking but he actually wanted to know. Same student mixed Hitler for Abe Lincoln
While on a field trip bus with urban high school students, passing a field with cows grazing... "Miss, you live out here? Ain't you afraid the deer are gonna eat you?" Um, no. Later, "Miss, these people are stupid. They just leave the cows out there. Somebody's gonna steal them." Um, it's not that easy.
Later in the year we took about 30 seniors to a park with pond for a picnic. The kids we allowed to wade into the water. All of them kept their socks on to protect them from piranhas. One acre fresh water pond.
10th grade world history teacher here. I had a student once groan in class after learning about the French Revolution and say, "Goddduhhh... Why do we have to always learn about history? Why can't there be a future class instead?"
Imagining what that class to that kid might entail, I laughed to myself and said, "Good point, I'm not sure."
One of my social studies pals was explaining a world map and was showing how all the different colors implied different countries. One student was confused by the massive blue country that seemed to take up the entire map.
High School student by the way.
Juan_Arc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher. Once in 9th grade (physics class) the teacher was doing a day where we could ask anythibg at all about physics. I, being the nerd I am, asked if he could clarify how. Black hole bends time. (The answer to that is not important to the story. Look it up ir whatever if you want) He brings up that a black hole's gravity is so potent, that once you begin getting closer it begins to rip out and viplently stretch out any objects entire mass, atom by atom. Right after he explains this and the whys and hows, on queue, somebody asks "Is it true that our solar system is inside of a black hole?" Nobody laughed. It was just a mutual sigh between most of the class.
Not a teacher, but I was at a music school. My theory teacher brings up how music was written in medieval times, and a kid in the same room (probably about 7 or 8) doesn't really know when the medieval times were. We explain that they're between about 1100 and 1500, and he responds,
"You mean...like...BEFORE World War 1?"
Well...I guess...
ItsMeTK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After Jesus, before Columbus. That's about all you need to know.
peacork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait Miss, I'm confused. Is Europe in America?"
peacork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 10th grade student once told me that the newest "Jurassic Park" was filmed in Europe because dinosaurs still exist over there.
Duck3284 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student in my English class asserted that Texas was about the size of India we tried to show him the square footages and Maps of the places but he said that numbers and maps didn't prove anything
Not a teacher but in freshman biology i was trying to explain to this girl how it could be cold in South America. She just wasn't getting it, the teacher was right across from us, shaking his head.
Grade 9 English class, early in the semester. You all know this kid... chatty, very entertaining and very very thick. During some random class discussion,
Kid: "I wouldn't want to live 100 years ago"
Me: "Why is that?"
Kid: "It would suck living in black and white."
Me: "What do you mean."
Kid: "You know, before they invented colours."
Me: "...ummm ... Yes, that would be tough. Moving on..."
So apparently, life pre-couloir TV was in black and white. I only got the rest of the story because it came up again in class by a DIFFERENT kid. By tring to save his reputation (not correcting him in front of class) others believed him.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If everything was black and white, how could Noah see a rainbow?
Not a question, but an answer to one. I was prompting a kid to figure out the importance of soil by working backwards with questions.
"What did you have for dinner last night?"
"Burgers."
"And what do hamburgers come from?"
"Cows."
What do cows eat?"
"Small mammals."
He was 15.
bryanUC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had an "Even Einstein asked questions" poster in my classroom. Student asked who Evan Einstein was. Another student replied "Albert's dumb brother - that's why he asked questions!"
I'm not a teacher, but a girl in my grade 12 history class once asked why a man was wearing a helmet with the word "un" on it. We were discussing the United Nations for the last 20 minutes or so.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend used to be a TA for the science department. It was the beginning of the semester and I thought to ask him how his students were doing since last semester he thought he was going to get fired for his last class. ((Its off topic so i wont say))
He told me one female was asking what her grade was so soon into the semester. He didnt have anything graded yet but he counted everything that they had done, what she had done and told her shes basically already failing his class.
Her responce?
"Well I know I havnt turned in most of the homework, skipped classes, and failed the test yesterday, but ai dont understand why my grade is so low!"
Not a teacher, but in my evolutionary biology class in college one kid asked "If a person is born with a vestigial tail, are they still considered human?" Another stupid question from a different student was "What is the purpose of alligators?" Needless to say, the teacher was dumbfounded in both situations.
Not a teacher but, during a revision session, my teacher was getting mad at us for not knowing "easy" questions. She then promptly goes on a rant finishing with "these are 'yes' or 'no' answers." Teacher then turns to me and asks "how many years imprisonment can you get for breaking this copyright law?".
No prizes for guessing what my answer was. Was then kicked out of the class.
Not a student, but a woman I work with. A group of us were on lunch break and one of my co-workers just returned from a vacation to Las Vegas and was talking about his luck with the dollar slots. Then he mentioned the high roller room that had thousand dollar slot machines. The cog's in this woman's head were turning, she tilted her head and said, "Doesn't each turn take a long time on those?" It took a couple seconds to click with the rest of the group and we laughed hysterically.
"Mr. Smith, which America do we live on? South right?"
Yep. And Canada is just another term for North America.
johnbeve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Covering the book of genesis for survey 'world history' course. As I was explaining the purpose of the lengthy genealogy, an enthusiastic student in the front row blurted out:
"Wait, since there were no women mentioned in the genealogy in the book of Genesis, doesn't that mean the men procreated asexually?"
I and the other students were perplexed for a moment. Then the student said, "You know what, never mind that can't work." Absolutely perfect.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's not even right. Eve and various daughters are mentioned.
johnbeve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to think that was part of the class's confusion.
rizcriz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but my coworker is a bit... anyways.
She saw the cancer research logo with the red strike through cancer and she actually asked, "does that mean they're not researching a cure for cancer anymore?"
"Did this really happen?" while reading Greek mythology... Also, "is North Carolina a country?" while discussing proper v common nouns.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom taught inner city special ed and back in the 80's she had lots of crack babies coming through her class with lots of learning disorders and zero family support.
She had one student who was learning disabled and the poor kid asked her "what's an H?".
She told that story for years in both a comedic and sad fashion. It was heartbreaking for a 4th grader to ask such a question but holy shit she would laugh because she said the whole class was merciless about their reactions and mr. duh what's an H had no idea what the problem was.
I had a student ask where to find the word bank for the first part of her test. It was the true/false section. I said, "It's the true/false section." She made a weird face and said, "okaaaaaay". Two minutes later she exclaims, "True or false!"
Five minutes later she asked me if the soil talked about on the test was "like the dirt under the grass or like dirt-dirt". I didn't know how to respond seeing as all we had talked about the last week was soil. Her fellow classmates gave me a few exasperated looks. She's sweet, but that poor little head is dense.
When I worked in a petting zoo, full of frolicking goats, lots of school group kids would ask "Are they real?"
Mind you this is the smaller petting zoo within the larger LA Zoo. So many kids would ask if they were real. I would tell them to look at them closely and report back what they thought. So weird. But I guess some of these kids don't get enough exposure to animals/the outdoors?
decklund ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My second name is the same as a fictional videogame character and I often get asked, perfectly sincerely, if i am related to said bundle of pixels.
My favorite question comes from students who were absent: "did we do anything yesterday?" I always tell them that we just sat in silence for 59 minutes because we couldn't go on without them in class. It takes them a minute but then they realize/remember that the slides are online and they have a seat buddy they can get the information from before asking me during class time
I have a good one. In my toxicology class we were learning about sublethal effects and how to measure them. The professor was talking about how the amount of times the fish strikes its food to eat it can be a measure. And you do this before and after a chemical is introduced. The term she was using was good strikes. One kid asks "does food strikes mean that the fish refuse to eat the food?"
Class starts laughing and professor smiles but calmly answers him, no. Kid turns around and says "don't laugh at me!"
We felt bad.
I work at a Catholic school. I had a kid ask me to confirm that when a person commits suicide, they go directly to hell. I just told him that I've never tried so I couldn't tell him.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question; it's a cry for help.
I understand how it could be, but in the context he said it he was just trying to prove one of his friends wrong. He's a pretty entitled kid, so I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.
Not a teacher, but a classmate in my 9th grade Spanish class once asked, "Do people in Spain have to think about the words in English before they say them in Spanish?"
xaraphyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have electricity up there in Canada?
ssloke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in Junior High, a student raised her hand and seriously asked the teacher, "How are they gonna shake the building during the earth quake drill?"
For real.
I teach sixth grade math. My kids were coming back to class after one of their first sex ed lessons and they were all discussing it. They were some mix of excited, confused, and embarrassed. One of the students asked me "what are genitals?" I think the answer really made the health teacher's lesson come to life.
Not a teacher but one of my friends asked my 9th grade science teacher "How high can someone count to?"
We all laughed our asses off. The teacher told him to see how high he could count and that would be his answer, so my friend got put in a little room alone and left as long as he needed to count as high as he could.
It ended up being in the thousands after a couple hours, after he lost track.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually a very interesting question because there does reach a point of equilibrium where the numbers get so long that saying them takes up too much time. It's pretty much physically impossible to count to one billion, and that's just an amazing concept. Maybe the kid saw that SuperCarlinBros video about it and wondered what the upper limit was. Probably no higher than several hundred million, depending on how old you are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a class where a girl asked "how they filmed the history reenactment when they didn't have cameras in pioneer times ?"
brikaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my highschool English teacher. So it was close to winter break and the teacher decided we should all watch National Treasure since we all agreed it was a good family friendly movie. We are about to turn it on, and one of the girls in class raised her hand and says, "Um, so this might seem like a stupid question." Teacher stops her and says, "Don't worry, in this class there are no stupid questions." Girl replies, "Okay, so umm, the stuff in National Treasure... did that actually happen? Like did they find the treasure there?"
Class is speechless. After a moment of contemplating that sentence, she says "No, none of that happened, and that was a stupid question."
Had a guy ask if the penis was rifled in an anatomy and physiology class.
bad_rug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in our history class the teacher showed us the "live" version of the film failsafe (at least I believe that was the title, correct men if I'm wrong, about the cold war stand off I believe)
Tldr, false information comes in that Russia launched a nuke at us, so using M.A.D we nuke Moscow
Opps turns out they didn't and we just nuked Moscow, so we nuke one of our own cities to keep the peace because of the fuck up, bye bye New York
Why do I tell you that tidbit? One of the classmates I had, asked the teacher if that really happened to New York, had to explain that if it had happened, there still wouldn't be a New York today
17 year old obvious stoner. Who was indeed bright and always on time but would often smell of ganja. Had something very.."interesting" to say atleast once every few days that would make the whole class question there existence. But on the last day of school he asked me
"If i weren't a student and i handed you something that stinks. Would you take it from my hand?"
"Dude, I played guitar in a band" i answered
Jatokae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me: "How can we possibly have a clean water crisis when God gives us clean rain all the time?"
This was in a 9th Grade Honor's course. We were discussing the fact that some countries do not have clean water as part of a school initiative. I subsequently spent the class period teaching this girl about the Water Cycle instead of the novel we were reading. Her classmates were as dumbfounded as I was to find this out. My favorite follow up question was when I told her about water recycling and she asked: "So I take a shower in everyone else's toilet water?!"
I teach 8th grade writing. One day in class I mentioned to my class that I used to be a book editor and I ghost wrote a couple of books. One student raised his hand and asked if I could teach him to be a better writer. Why, yes, yes I can, that is my entire job. The class cracked up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my tenth grade bio class answered the question "what's the greatest invention of the 21st century?" by saying time travel. Took her a minute to realize what century we were in after everyone was laughing
Idekko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a GCSE Physics class on the formation of the Moon, a girl (16 at the time) asks our teacher: "But sir, isn't the Moon just the Sun at night-time?"
Not a teacher but a camp counselor. I just finished explaining poison ivy and what happens to most people if they touch it, and one camper goes "what happens if I eat poison ivy??" Same camper "can I roast a pimple over the camp fire"
In science: "miss what happens when a lady has a child after plastic surgery?" I didn't quite get what she meant so replied with "ummm nothing?" She then says "isn't it bad for the kid to be born with plastic genes?" Had a bit if a laugh before explaining how genes work.
pgrittty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone I know once gave John McCain a tour of a science museum, upon reaching a tank full of local aquatic life he peered in and asked "are these good or bad animals?"
I try to forget the truly stupid questions, but here's a goofy one from today: we were reading in Sinclair's The Jungle about rats crawling and pooping on the meat and getting mixed into sausages. All the kids are vocalizing their disgust except this one kid right up front. He looked like he was either deep in thought or completely zoned out. When the class got quiet again, he said, "But what kind of rats are we talking about here? I mean black rats, brown rats, mice? What?"
Edit: There was a dumb question/answer exchange in the class before the one above. The reading is part of a bigger lesson on food regulations in the Progressive Era USA. We discussed different regulations in place today and why certain foods contain preservatives, etc. One smart ass chimes in, "What about Red Bull having bull business (semen) can a woman get pregnant from that?" Before I could explain how many levels of wrong were in her question, another smart ass chimes in, "Yeah, man, that's how we have menotaurs!"
I can't believe how many times a day this question is asked, is there really that little creativity in the human race?
xBeeves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in a history class, the teacher's slide said, "President..." (don't remember which one), and someone asked, "Was his real name President?"
zEaK47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most, if not all, of the questions in the comments aren't stupid.
Im not a teacher but as a student I asked this question in first grade and it stuck with me for my life.
"How do you spell IT?"
My teacher was an elderly woman and she looked like she wanted to scream.
kknope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a kid ask if I taught a 5th period...while he was sitting in my 5th period.
hazelowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my teacher husband:
"What do you mean there weren't jet airplanes during the American Revolution?"
Kid from Mexico: "Isn't Mexico the 52nd state?"
First day of psychology class: "Is this the class where we study dinosaurs?"
Student, to guest speaker from England: "How was the drive?"
Answer: "Wet."
skorys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher myself. But a friend of mine once asked a teacher if people breathe in their sleep.
Literally everyone was like WTF. And he seriously meant it. We were like 16 years old.
Metabro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in high school we had a geography class where we had to color a map of WWII map and label the countries. And a girl asked where West Germany was. She said she knew where East Germany was but couldn't find West germany.
Not a teacher but a student a grade above me (she was a freshman in high school at the time and is now a junior) she asked "Why don't people on Australia just fall off the Earth?"
Doesn't tin foil come from pigs? Do cows lay eggs? Don't squirrels have nipples in their mouths?
Acadia94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but this question reminded me of something, when I was in tenth grade we were taking about Halloween plans in class and a student asked what day Halloween is, teacher said Thursday, student said "no like which date?" Teacher looked perplexed and told her it's on the 31st.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The vast majority of "stupid questions" I hear as a teacher are from students who either weren't listening to or who didn't read the directions to any given assignment, and so they ask something that can be answered simply by looking at the paper in their hands.
I teach high school English to freshmen.
This just happened today, as students were taking their semester final online. Because the scores for the test would be converted into an Excel spreadsheet, I had asked the students to type their last names followed by their first names, as this would make it easier to grade later.
Immediately, a young man raises his hand to ask, "Wait, so, do we write our last names and THEN our first names?"
"What do the directions say?" I asked.
"Well, they say last name, first name.... Oh. I just wanted to be sure!"
Not a teacher, but had a student sitting next to me ask me a question in 8th grade during a test. We were taking a Religion test (Catholic school) and one of the questions was "What is the last line of the prayer we say every morning?" We've literally said this prayer every day for 8 years.
Girl next to me turns and asks quietly, "Is that the one that goes 'With liberty and justice for all?'"
I thought this last year's "killer clown" meme would die down. But these kids keep googling and asking about it. (I teach technology at an elementary)
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize I had to be able to swim to take lifeguard courses. The kid was a straight up code black,jumped in the water and didn't come back up. I honestly wanted to let him drown. Sadly the kid was determined to die in my class the entire week. Plus he failed the written twice, I've never witnessed that in 10 years of training. Bastard complained that I was cruel. Then came blocks and escapes day.
I am a 2nd grade teacher, but this occurred when I was a college student. This was a 400-level Spanish class, and my professor asked for feedback about our final exam. A girl in my class raised her hand to ask why teachers couldn't communicate/coordinate when they're having exams, final projects, etc. so that they don't all coincide because "that's what they did in high school."
I know. I'm a drama teacher. And we were preparing for a Shakespeare competition. The rest of the kids just looked at her with a blank stare. We had been talking about him for a few weeks.
Obnition ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty late, but we finished watching the Ghandi movie and then one girl said,"He's still alive right?" And in the beginning of the movie no less, it is the scene of his death.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student and this was this girl and the teacher was talking about another student who had threatend to "throw him through the roof". obviously a violent exaggeration but the girl says "don't worry unless he's super man there's no way he can through you that high". me and my teacher had a face palm moment.
NonY450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last day of the semester, day of the /final exam/ no less, "can I like... get some notes?"
Not a teacher myself, but this is a memory of a classmate I had back in 11th grade. We were further learning about Hitler when my teacher went off on a tangent explaining his German lineage. My classmate pointed out how our teacher had brown hair instead of the typical blonde hair that Hitler wanted his men to have. Our teacher then explains that it's more common for a German to have brown hair than it is to have blonde, to which she followed up by asking, "Then did Hitler have his men dye their hair?"
I teach 9th grade English. We were researching info about Shakespeare before reading Romeo and Juliet. A student had been reading about his family, and then read the date he died. The student then immediately asked, "Is his wife still alive?"
I looked at her with a straight face and asked her to use her resources and see if she could answer the question. She was completely stumped, and got mad at me for not giving her the answer. Good luck, future.
Due to a scheduling conflict, I ended up in the...uh...'slow' english/lit class instead of the advanced one during my senior year (easy a, so whatever). We were reading Lord of the Flies and had just finished the scene where they come to the downed pilot tangled in his lines in the tree (I think).
A question from a row behind me: "If the dude in King of the Hill survived falling out the plane, why didn't this guy?"
acw917 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third graders discussing effects of slavery:
"Why did we do all of this when we could have just got cotton from sheep?!"
Most of the class enthusiastically agreed.
suijuri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've taught workshops all over the US and Canada, still haven't heard a stupid question.
bowens21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took an astronomy class in college. The teacher told us that a lot of stars and constellations have Greek names because the Greeks named them. One girl raised her hand and asked "Like the North Star?"
Angryjk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student.
A girl in the middle of English asked "is pepperoni a meat?"
Everyone stared, laughed and was so confused
Mermane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A pretty straight example, but I just completed my placement in a high school as part of my degree. During a test, a student puts her hand up and says, "what do I do when I have the answer?"
Reading Much Ado About Nothing. Come across a line about dogs. 10th grader: "They had DOGS in Shakespeare's time?!?!?"
nnwally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is less of a question per say, but more of a 'really, how did you survive through the first sixteen years of your life without dying' sort of moment. I've taught high school social studies for the past fifteen years. One of the most memorable moments teaching happened almost exactly eight years ago in a Junior Intermediate level American Government course. For about a week I had been stressing the significance of President Obama's election and inauguration process. I talked about how significant it is having our first black president and about how far our country has come over the past 200 years and so on. A kid who had always struck me as being pretty bright and always curious rose his hand and said "Does Abraham Lincoln not count then? Like isn't Obama just the first black president in a while?"
I'm still hoping this kid was home schooled or something....don't want to think that the school district I'm employed by would let a kid think that Abraham Lincoln was just "out to free his own people." Teaching never gets old!
High school chemistry class half way through second semester and the lesson was on energy. I explained that mercury thermometers were no longer used. Hand goes up, yes Johnny? "How did they get it down here?" How did they get what down here? "The mercury for the thermometers?" I didn't have to say a word. The class did it.
One of my sixth graders asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Keyoak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a classmate in the third year of a science degree respond to a discussion of the difficulties of desalination of water. Why cant we just boil the water, this is so stupid"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but overheard a kid in a burgerking.
9 year old kids were discussing global warming and one kid says:
"If Earth is getting too hot, why don't we just move Mars??"
I was the stupid student. But hear me out. I said something, I don't even remember now, and the teacher said jokingly "Shh, not in front of virgin ears." I was super confused and said "What are Virgineers?" I was thinking like engineers or people from Virginia who pilot stuff? I don't know. But just the way he was saying it, that's the way I interpreted it. So he just laughed and I indignantly asked what the hell are Virgineers? He just kept looking at me saying "What?" This went on for a few minutes. I don't know when I finally figured it out that he meant virgin ears. I had never heard that phrase before. I was in 9th grade. That same year I thought out loud "What if Halloween was on Friday the 13th?" The teacher gave me one of those looks and I realized what I just said and how it was retarded. I've also forgotten the names of teachers 3/4 of the way through the semester. Sometimes we just have brain farts.
In my honors 8th science class I am teaching about changes on Earth including plate boundaries and the interactions that lead to earthquakes. As we were discussing subduction zones, had one student raise her hand and say, "So, you mean that oceanic crust is made of water?" FACE PALM! It took everything in my power not to look at her and just say "Yes it is." The only thing that saved her was that my administrator was observing me. Luckily my other students shamed her enough that I didn't have to.
lojadins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As the teachers here note, there are stupid questions, but those result from being lazy or not listening. Not a stupid question, but here is my most stunning question. The day before winter break, at the end of the class period, I wished my students a "Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Delightful Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate."
My German exchange student asks, "Hanukkah? What is Hanukkah?" I replied, "It is the Jewish holiday that falls around Christmas." She says, "Oh, I didn't know that. We don't have many Jews in Germany." Dead silence as eyes dart around. "you gonna tell her? Nope, you wanna explain it? Not a chance." Like that.
The first Prime Ministers of Canada is John A. Macdonald. In high school a girl in my history class asked me if he was the same person who created McDonalds.
I had a math teacher that posted all the stupid comments and questions that kids asked across his room. One of my favorites was "if toilet water is wetter than regular water?" Second runner up was "if you study high and take a test while you are high, then you will perform better."
Had a kindergarten student ask me if they could "drink the paint water since it's black and looked yummy." Well I told them "No, it will taste gross since it's water and paint put together." He then cried for ten minutes.
This wasn't a question, but a student once told me "I don't want to live on Earth" and I of course asked why, and he said "Because Earth is in space, and space is dark, and I'm afraid of the dark."
Now if this had been from a 4 or 5 year old, it would have been cute maybe. But he was 10. Bless his heart.
An eleven year old girl once asked me what carpet was.
She was in a bottom set secondary class and down as MLD - mild learning difficulty. In that school, however, that whole class was down as MLD, and most teachers will tell you that there are kids who actually have learning difficulties, those who are just thick, and those who are badly behaved. She was a combination of all three.
At first, thinking she just hadn't heard me, I repeated it. (I have a bit of a posher accent than those in that area). I then asked her what she had on the floor in her house. Turned out she had wood floors and always had, so hadn't learnt the word for carpet. At age 11. When I pointed at the carpeted floor beneath us and asked her what she'd call that, she just shrugged and said she didn't know it had a name.
The same girl also had her mum call the headteacher and tell him that I was trying to kill her because I'd held the whole class back five seconds to calm them down for a quiet dismissal (she was a diabetic). Five seconds is, apparently, a death sentence.
I no longer teach. This was in a school where a whole lesson was needed for me to teach a similar ability group of 13-14 year olds that Shakespeare wrote plays and was male.
_kasper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Miss, are eyeballs flammable?"
schuma73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but at a big ten university a classmate (age 25) said, "Girls have umbilical cords? I thought just boys had those."
He thought cutting the umbilical cord was equivalent to a circumcision.
I got asked by a colleague during the Brexit voting: "Is India in the EU?" I said no, barely holding back laughter. She said "The EU is the European Union isn't it?" I said yes. She went on to ask if China and America were in the EU. I held my laughter. She asked if the North Pole was in the EU and that's when I had to find an excuse to go out back and laugh my ass off at the poor girl.
larficus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does homework go home? Ugh
mckleeve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, first grade class, first time they had ever seen computers. (yeah, long long long time ago. about 1986) Fascinated by the screensaver of a scuba diver swimming in the ocean---"Is that water cold?"
fasehed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about ways the human body compares to other animals, one mid says "we poop and so do fish!!" then a girl asks "wait?... Fish poop???"
In a class for cert II in security (entry level for mall cops etc). "Is this on the test?" The class was told repeatedly that anything on the test would be made very clear. Yet, after nearly every sentence by the instructor (not me) somebody would ask. In the end anyone asking this question received one warning and was then asked to leave for the day. It kept going and from memory 3-4 people were removed from the course entirely as they simply would not STFU!
A student asked me what time it was, and I pointed to the analog clock on the wall. He said he couldn't tell time on "one of those clocks with the lines." This would be fine if I taught early elementary, but I am a college professor, and this student had somehow been admitted to our university. He did not pass my Eng 101 class.
Had a fellow student ask why we needed a camera in the studio. Though they we could see the performers through the TV in the studio. (College level course in media production)
When I see that these threads, I avoid them because I am scared someones reply will be about me saying something stupid or doing something embarrassing.
In my brother class a guy asked "did napoleon and Hitler invade Russia together?" (9th grade) the question was inspired by my brother saying "one does not simply invade Russia, both napoleon and Hitler perished to them" (he is crazy about history) the worst part is that they were seeing ww2 in history class.
Not a teacher but fellow student. Mind you we were already 3 years in laboratory school and this girl asked if 30mg was 0.3 gram. I just said yes and watched her screw up the practical assignment.
My seniors were reading the Canterbury Tales in my English class. They're working on writing their own versions when one of my senior guys asks, "Mr. Moore, why didn't they just take the train? There were trains in the 1300s, right?"
I just stared at him. Finally, I asked if he remembered what the Industrial Revolution was. He didn't understand the connection.
" I missed class, did we do anything?" I always want to say "no, without you there we just took the time to talk about how nobody likes you" of course we did Something!!
Similar questions regarding lunch and other parts of the day. I've discovered that if I just stare at the kid long enough they'll giggle nervously and slink away while eyeing me sideways. YOU KNOW WHEN P.E. IS, JAMIE. DO NOT TEST ME.
Not a teacher. 8th grade, my classmate (very intelligent, wealthy family, a bit socially awkward), had an interesting reaction during sex ed definitions. Bear in mind, this was probably the 7th term, and we had all been so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
Teacher: "Semen: the fluid that carries sperm."
Classmate: "Ohhhh! So THAT's why you don't wanna drink it!"
Class: stunned silence
The teacher's facial reaction can best be described as "HEHAIDHEVABSIFHBEHAHD" or an imitation of a stroke.
Not a teacher but in high school a Girl thought that the Great Wall of China was to keep rabbits out. Yes the class did erupt into laughter but she was serious.
Marimboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, here's a bit if a different answer. While rehearsing a music piece with the whole band for the first time, the xylophone player couldn't get the rhythm right (solo for him at the beginning). The band director had the whole band clap it for him so he could play along to learn the rhythm. He still couldn't do it. With 100 other people clapping the rhythm.
I once asked where the light in cellular images was coming from (assuming from light given off by exothermic reactions)- my teacher just sort of blinked and said "the microscope light..."
Not a teacher, but a student. In eighth grade science class, we were talking about absolute zero temperature. One student asked if a table was at absolute zero and a fly landed on it and the. You flicked the fly off, what noise wild it make?
Not a student/teacher situation, but I recently had a customer at work ask me this: When you're going to divide a sum by 2, do you use division or multiplication?
...
I was speechless and had to ask her to repeat her question.
Last semester, we were listening to the Hamilton soundtrack, and a classmate was certain that Alexander Hamilton was a mondern day man, and also the writer of the songs. Now, this is AFTER she listened to it, so how she thought it was set in contemporary is beyond me.
In my 9th grade physics class there was this one kid that asked the dumbest questions and my teacher always got pissed off at him.
One day we were talking about gravity and he was using some example with a 3D cube to demonstrate something I don't remember. This kid raises his hand after already asking multiple dumb questions and asks, I quote from my synced notes "What if you turn the cube on its side and filled it with jello? How would that effect the gravity?"
Our teacher responded "You hear that, colten? That's the sound of your grade dropping for every second longer you're in this classroom" and the kid ran out of the room.
xensor12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that sounds like something my science teacher did for the ones asking really and I mean really dumb questions that had no answer to it
I am a 7th grade science teacher. We were looking at pictures of some of the scientists that there have been in history. Some of the pictures are black and white. One of my students raised her hand and asked me when the world turned colors. I didn't understand her question so I asked her to explain. She then looked at the last black and white photo and the first color photo and determined it must have been between those years.
An English teacher just posted a similar situation after watching a black and white movie with her students. Interesting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uni student asked what Germany was. Another student had lived there a bit and they were getting to know one another. Even after looking at the map he said he never heard of it before
I'm actually an engineering student right now and I like to mess with the professors by purposefully asking dumb questions, my favorites so far are 'how long is that meter stick' and the other was when my professor was playing with a cut zip tie and kept shoving it through and I asked 'how many cycles do you think that is rated for'
Not me but my dad often tells the story. He was in med school and they were learning about sex organs. It came up that sperm is made up of mostly sugar, not protein like we commonly think. A female student then asked in front of the whole class "if it's made up of sugar, why does it taste so bitter?"
My dad said the whole class laughed, she ran out and didn't return for a week.
I was proctoring the PSATs, and the students had to write and sign a statement that they hadn't cheated. It began, "I hereby declare...."
One of the students asked if they're supposed to write their own name instead of the name Herby: "I don't write Herby, right? That's just an example? I write Dave."
Not an actual teacher, but I've definitely heard some of the funniest sh*t in Science Class
"You know, Aluminum sounds like it should be on the periodic table" - My old friend, who was normally of average intellect.
In one of my freshman classes, this guy decided to add background noises to this one presentation the teacher, saying like "arf, arf" whenever she did something with a dog, "Vroom, vroom" with a car. Then she had someone throw litter, and he goes, I sh*t you not, "litter litter"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I have a great story from my English 101 class. This girl that I went to high school with ended up in the same class as me our freshman year of college. We always had discussions in English, and one day we're talking about Galileo for some reason. Our professor asks what he was famous for and someone answers that he was the first scientist to say that the Earth revolved around the Sun and not vice versa. The girl next to me gives me the most dumbfounded look and says "the Earth revolves around the Sun?" It took every single bit of self control not to laugh in her face. I literally had to draw her a diagram of our solar system on a piece of notebook paper and explain how all the planets revolve around the Sun.
Kunzy83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But one of my high school classmates asked our history teacher if the people flying the planes on 9/11 got the death penalty..
Gramage ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:11:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An 18y/o girl in my Spanish class asked, "Do geese lay eggs?" And the follow-up question was, "But the geese in our local park, do those also lay eggs?"
(I'm a student, but this was interesting.)
hegde7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine was from Sri Lanka and this girl in my class thought Sri Lanka was in Bangladesh ! He told us this story and that's how the Sri Lankan became friends with us.
I teach English in Spain. I recently had a young teen student ask me if America really does a "purge" day. I laughed, thinking he was joking, but then I realized he was serious. I soon discovered that he, as well as two others in the class, had been assuming such a thing was real.
I teach in a very heterogeneous town, lots of diversity in my school. Last semester I had a student that could no understand that nationality and race where two different things. The whole class was arguing with him about it. It was so bad that the math teacher he had AFTER my class brought him back to my class because the kids were still arguing about it and she could not get him to accept it either.
Not a teacher, but a classmate once asked in my Biology class "What's the difference between an orgasm and an organism?"
sarulean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually ABOUT a teacher. My 4th grade teacher was covering geography and asked all the black kids in class which country in Africa their families came from. I mentioned that my mother was from Africa (I am white), and he told me I was lying. I said she was from South Africa and he told me that wasn't a country. I was later pulled out of that school.
In a college upper level genetics class I had a classmate once ask "so...if someone has type A blood and gets a transfusion with type B blood would that make them have AB blood?" The professor, with the most "oh my good lord please fucking kill me" face I've ever seen, turns to her and replies "no." He then just moved on in the lecture and pretended like he didn't want to fucking murder the entire class for another 20 minutes.
He was my favorite biology based professor at that university because he had such a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. But, at that one moment in time he could not even be bothered to come up with a smart ass remark. Sadly this was a common theme in that class. Apparently this is what happens when you have an open enrollment university in a very sheltered area. I frequently questioned how some of the people enrolled in my classes got themselves dressed in the morning.
abbott8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What translation of Huckleberry Finn should I get?
I was a TA in a laboratory course on embedded control. Students work in groups, building digital circuits and programming them. 2 weeks before the final, one of the guys who i thought was doing well until that point, asked me if it matters which way a resistor goes ( if a resistor had polarity). Turns out he was doing the programming part of the lab, while his group did the rest.
I'm not a teacher but this is still one of the funniest yet dumbest questions I've ever heard. So first I have to explain a thing or two. So where I live, we have a social system-thingy, that whenever you have children, you get a bit of money in order to be able to take care of them. It's called child allowance. So the question was: do you get child allowance if you do an abortion?
Definitely not a teacher, but a colleague asked (he was about 15 or 16 at the time) to our history teacher: "When the pyramids were built, from which side do they started? I mean, they started bottom to top or top to bottom?". The teacher replied with an eraser: "Here, let me try top to bottom... Okay, gravity exists, and I'm pretty sure it existed back then".
Sex Ed class I was in (7th grade). Popular girl proceeds to ask "Can you get pregnant from oral sex". We all then proceeded to laugh. It was the last day of teaching too which made it even better.
When I was in college, all incoming freshmen were required to take History of Western Literature. One of the pieces of reading was from The Iliad. Prof introduces it, tells us all about Greek civilization.
Two weeks later, we're discussing some part, and this guy in the front row raises his hand and asks, "What's a Greek?"
Prof looks at him and asks, " Well, do you mean philosophically...?" Obviously trying to throw him a rope.
Nono. He meant it literally. He had no idea where Greek people were from, or what or where Greece was.
eskiey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 2nd and 3rd graders. At least once a day, when I'm teaching a math lesson, a kid will interrupt to ask, "Is this writing?". Or in writing, they'll ask, "Is this science?"
They don't mean "Is this content related to writing?", they mean "is it writing time right now?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had to lead a marching band and this one fat kid asked "if mayonnaise was an instrument" and told him no and told him that horseradish isn't an instrument either.
Whiasco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from a city 9 hours away from the one I currently live in.
Group of 11 year olds telling me I should get a job working with juniors at a school nearby. Told them I didn't know where that school was because I'm from a diff city.
Student 1: I see you at the bus stop after school
Student 2: do you catch the bus from (home city) to school every day??
Not a teacher once when I was in highschool a student asked why we didnt just "fly up and scrape off" sunspots.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but we were discussing the silk road and this one person raised their hand and asked why didn't they just use trucks.
Vixy6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I currently teach high school English in CA, and every day at least one student asks me: "do I need to put my name on this [shows worksheet/homework]?" I respond with "well, what do you think?" To which the reply is usually "um, I dunno, you know me right?" Sure you and my 100 other students; sure I can decipher your chicken scratch and improper grammar from everyone elses. Then two days later, "Ms. It (the online gradebook) says I'm missing this assignment. Me: "did you put your name on it?" Student: " no, I thought you'd figure it out." "Go check the 'no name' bin." "Wow, there's a lot of stuff in here."
I mean, if you're getting technical, sure, but you know what I mean
Zerd85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher (yet), but I did spend 6 years as a store manager for a retail store. When I was done with my questions, I always asked, "Do you have any questions for me regarding the position or the company?"
I literally had someone reply, "Yeah, what can I get away with here?"
kindcrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did Christ die?
Orderves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Primary teacher here! I can't think of the stupidest question a student has asked me, but I can certainly remember the stupidest thing I had to say to a student when taken out of context.
We were doing a craft activity, and I had a few students who weren't naughty as such, but were a bit mischievous, and I'd already had to field some minor behaviours before they escalated into a problem - be careful with the glue, make sure you don't lose your parts, that sort of thing.
Long story short, I had to keep a straight face while saying to a student "What have I told you about gluing things to your face?!"
Kid was taking a test. 8th grade History class. The sub was willing to help guide in the right direction but not give the answer. Kid calls over the sub and goes can you help me with the extra credit I don't watch C-Span. "Who is the current Vice President of the United States. At this time Obama and Biden were voted into office 3 months prior.
Second one was a sub took over for this reading class while the teacher was on emergency leave for something. Girl asks how long he would be gone for. Sub replies a couple of days. "16?"
AdumD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a religion course in college and one of my classmates asked the professor "Is there stealing in Heaven?". She was completely serious
"What's the difference between thirty-four hundred and three thousand four hundred?" -from my teacher friend about her student because I am not a teacher. Girl was pretty embarressed when she realized that they were both 3,400 (in Highschool)
hanna-xo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I found this paper clip over there, what should I do with it?"
Late to the party, but my senior year of high school I took an International Studies course with a couple of friends. One of said friends proceeded to ask "Where's Russia located?" during an easy color-the-map assignment at the beginning of the year.
Not a teacher, but I remember in freshman biology, we were having a chill day and just having conversations with the teacher. At one point, we got to the topic of the murders of Tupac and Biggie Smalls. As we were talking, one girl (who has asked many stupid questions before) raised her hand and said "Wait, he's not dead, Tupac is living in Puerto Rico." She was so befuddled to find out Tupac had been dead since 1996.
Not a teacher but in band class we were talking about this marching band festival where high schools from all over would come together and play their halftime shows. When our teacher was ready to move on he asked if anyone had any questions and this one percussion kid asked "So are we going to perform or what?" The class was silent for a few seconds before bursting out laughing
acostel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:23 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High School English teacher here. I have started a document of student questions, they have been so miserable this year. Here are some highlights (lowlights):
โข (while I am checking vocab homework) โThis vocab book is my brotherโs, so it is all filled in. Do I have to buy a new one?โ
โข (while taking a pop quiz over a reading assignment): โI didnโt read the story, do I have to take the quiz?โ
โข (after finishing a lesson I was really proud of and worked really hard on):
โข Me: Any questions?
โข Student (raises hand): Yeah, what time is lunch today?
โข (While plotting the rhyme scheme of a poem - in HIGH SCHOOL) โWhat letter comes after โhโโ?
not a teacher, and doesn't really refer to students. So I am Brazilian, when I first was dating my wife and meeting her family, they would ask me how back home was... All the time, not just her family though, most Americans just seem to have no understanding of geography, at least 15 years ago... After a while of answering these nonsense questions, her aunt, about 30 years old at the time, at a table at some wedding we went to asked how we get to work, I said at 16 instead of getting drivers licenses we all get pet elephants to ride around the jungle to go to work in our treehouses, sad thing is she didn't know I was being sarcastic and neither did anyone else there, which resulted in about 50 more questions
One or my class mates was having hard time understanding how the solar system works and said the following all within 10 minutes:
"So wait. Is the moon next to the Earth or the Sun?"
"The sun is bigger than us?!"
In response to being told about the rotation and orbit of the Earth:
"I didn't know we was movin"
This happened this year. We are Juniors.
roadrimo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:10 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl had just returned from a trip to Puerto Rico and a guy in class asked her "so are there beaches in Puerto Rico?"
Like does it have beaches ??!? Really bro? It's a damn island son.
Student here,
Once upon a time my friend was asked what nationality Jesus was. She responded "European."
After the initial laughter, she tried to salvage the damage by yelling "No! He's Ukrainian!"
I forced her to google what nationality Jesus was, followed by her butchering the pronunciations of both the word "Hebrew" and "Israel."
She also tried to convince me that milk is just bubbly water.
I had to explain to another girl that yes, catfish ARE real animals.
I'm not a teacher, but once a girl in my class asked our biology teacher if we could still stand up if we had no bones in our body.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:19 on March 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but when I was in high school biology, one of my classmates asked the professor if they could get the nutritional benefits of eating fish by pulling the fish out of the water, licking it, and putting it back. I have no idea how he thought that would work.
Not a Teacher, but two stories about classmates in 9th and 10th grade (Aged 14 and 15)
In science class it was revealed to a.classmate that the Sun was a star. His response was "but it's so big?" And we quickly explained that that was because we were so close. I don't know his back story but I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt and just chalk it up to not being given that knowledge before.
Now this next class...
In 10th year we were in an Algebra class and someone asked out loud "Why does it say A for Effort? Effort starts with an 'E?" Then the majority of the class murmured in agreement. I was really shocked at this one. I don't think I was able to explain through the commotion.
We were studying Pride and Prejudice, and the teacher was explaining the geography and location of where it took place. He must have been confusing because half way through a girl blurts out, "Wait, so America is in Britain?"
When I was in my junior year of high school we were having a lesson and the teacher mentions England. One of the girls in class raises her hand and, I kid you not, asks "What's an England?"
I'm gonna have to go with the genius who couldn't find Europe on a globe, proceeds to ask me where to find it, and says that they thought it was in the US. I dislike high schoolers.
I teach high school seniors in a self-contained credit recovery and college/career readiness classroom.
One of my students was filling out an online application for a pretzel place in the mall
Student: "Miss, what do I say where it says 'why do you want to work here?'"
Me (eternal eye roll)- Well, think about why you're applying and what you hope to gain from the experience"
Student: "and I should be honest?"
Me: "yes, what are you going to say?"
Student: "I wrote 'the thick cashier.'"
Later, while practicing interviewing skills, he thought it was appropriate to ask an interviewer about how many days he gets off, the procedure for calling in sick/busy, and their zodiac sign (to "show interest")
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:14 on April 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Sophomore biology class we watched a dramatization piece on Typhoid Mary where it was a costume drama, so early century clothes, style of speaking, mustaches, the whole shebang. At the end of the video, the class dumbass, a really sweet but ditzy girl, asked "so, were those the real people? How did they film them if it was one hundred years ago? Aren't they dead?"
This is them same girl who, when Titanic 3-D was released, didn't realize Titanic actually happened. She was under the impression that it was just a Hollywood creation. Her mind was blown when we showed her facts and news clippings. She was heartbroken, however, to discover Jack and Rose are fake.
sedhyt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:13 on April 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once one of my classmates insisted that there were two kinds of horses: racehorses and "regular" horses that just trotted.
The teacher was just like "okay if you can prove this to me I will believe you" because she had been dealing with his shit for two years now.
This same guy said something really controversial about abortions "Some people want to kill people that aren't even born yet"- I think that's what he said, at least, it's been a while.
That teacher also once had to explain to him what the holocaust was. Seriously. Somehow he had never learned anything about the whole event. Makes you wonder what it's like for him at home.
We all liked him, pretty much. He at least kept things entertaining. I didn't like him as much as he once made up this whole song about me and another student I was "dating" at the time, and was actually going to sing it in front of our whole grade (our band teacher thought it was funny and okayed it- come to think of it she might've been messing with us, she liked both me and the guy and was a pretty chill teacher) before we broke up and the guy started going out with one of my best friends.
In year 8, we were having an open class discussion about earthquakes and their effect on people. The was a gap in conversation and a girl sitting next to me yelled out "wait what happens if you're on a plane"
I laughed
The class laughed
The teacher laughed
She went red
This has nothing to do with me bring a teacher, but it does have to do with should.
The last time I heard, my ex was taking level 1 college biology for the THIRD time. She was trying to become a nurse but couldn't get through any type of training until she passed biology. We've been broken up since 2014, and I still wonder to this day if she ever passed it. Or eventually gave up to pursue an easier career. I hope to god she's not a nurse. But I kinda get why she failed biology. Because, her dad is from Mexico, and her mom is a sexy white trophy wife, but apparently she's not Mexican. Not even half. I had to sit her down and explain it to her. She still didn't get it. I'm glad we're broken up.
Not a teacher, but a student-Back in 7th grade, in social studies, we were doing an assignment on natural resources. We were also allowed to talk, which was nice, because it made the blurting out of "What's a turtle?" by a classmate only a little less funny. Don't get me wrong, it was very funny, but could you imagine someone blurting that out when it's quiet?
leo1433 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:42 on June 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. Last year we were watching a movie on one of the last days of school where you don't do anything. There was a scene in the movie where some people go swimming in this big lake and this one girl just has this look of bewilderment on her face the whole time. When the scene ends, she goes, "Where did they get all that water? How did they film that?"
jon_cli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:13 on June 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 9th grade, we were learning The Merchant of Venice, talking about royalty and monarchs, a guy asked is this the same monarch as a monarch butteryfly. He was sent to the principals office, cause the teacher thought he was trolling, if he actually was, i dunno.
Not a teacher, had a girl in my sophomore year of high school ask our AP world teacher, out of no where these words "but wait, doesn't China own half of the United States" and I could barely contain my laughter while the rest of the class remained silent. Idk how the hell she made her way into that class. Later that year, something about South Africa came up and she burst out and raised her and and went,"oooh oooh aren't those the people with those yellow thingys" and proceeded to made a point with her hands, like a 90 degree angle tilted 45 degrees? It's hard to explain but after 3 minutes she said triangle things and someone else shouted,"DO YOU MEAN THE PYRAMIDS" and she said,"yeeeaaaah". I honestly don't know how she got in that class. She didn't drop either, stayed all the way through with an F
Hella late comment, but what the hell. In 9th grade my teacher was demonstrating how propaganda and genuine fake news could affect the beliefs and views of the public. He created an article stating that Earth had been contacted by aliens over the weekend and surprisingly, a lot of the class believed him. Me and my friend were laughing quietly about it since the article had tons of spelling errors, a cheesy and obviously fake title, and to top it off; the alien's picture was from the cover of a PS2 game.
If anyone else figured it out, they just seemed to play along while the class idiots asked a mirade of stupid questions. At one point, a notoriously stupid girl asked:
"Do you think I could, like, keep one as a pet?"
She was dead serious about it to. In fact, IIRC, she insisted that she should get one as a pet. I was surprised my teacher could keep going along with it, because both me and my friend's minds were blown by the stupidity of that remark.
...but then again, this was also coming from the class that had to have a 20 minute discussion as to why planes weren't a practical countermeasure to submarines in World War 1.
Christian HS. 11th grade. This girl seriously thought oral sex was when "we talked about sex". After I told her what it was she was surprisingly down. Though she seriously tried to suck my penis off on her first attempt.
Later she told me that she never knew about masturbating, when I touched her for the first time she was like omg wow. She came from a very, very sheltered home.
Tmasw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's mean, but theres no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people.
They say, "There are no stupid questions, only stupid people." (Think about it... questions can't be stupid... but the person asking it can be) Saying the first half implies the second... like a subtle unspoken insult.
grizzfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Horrible grammar used by teachers as they tell us about dumb questions their students ask. The incorrect uses of to/too/two and there/their/they're are too damn high!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher" but in my sophomore year of high school, I took a global studies class. One girl asked our teacher why "we don't just bomb all of the terrorist countries if they are such a problem".
On a separate occasion, she asked if they were currently celebrating Christmas in Iran, "because of the time difference." It was the 14th of December.
My wife teaches 4th grade in Texas. Her class talked about the Alamo and described it for months prior to a field trip there. For those of you that don't know, the Alamo (made of limestone) is surrounded by modern day buildings.
Anyway as the bus pulls up to the Alamo, one student looking out the (wrong) side of the bus at a HUGE several-story building, made of metal, glass, mirrors etc yells out, "Is that the Alamo"??!?!
Depending on the age, I don't find most of these questions (at least the top ones) that bad. Some of them are pretty decent impromptu lessons. I would bet other students are thinking the same thing, but are too afraid to ask.
not a teacher, but a witness in my class during college: a girl asked, what's hitler's last name...
Hanse00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I can understand this question coming up. It's irregular to refer to people by their last name (At least where I'm from), but we almost never mention Hitler's first name.
If you heard someone only referred to as King, you would assume that was his first, not last, name.
acamann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but I overheard one girl tell another "there's no 'I' in 'quit'!'"
Then after a moment of her group snickering at her, she paused and said "oh wait no, I meant 'you,' there's no 'you' in 'quit'"
Eighth grade.
Hanse00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lock_ed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher. But when I was in high school my girlfriend asked "is it true that the world used to be in black and white?" We broke up for unrelated reasons, I imagine it was for the best though.
Not a teacher, but last year in my COLLEGE history class, my professor was explaining about the formation of NASA and how it cost millions of dollars and this girl in front me calmly raised her hand and proceeds to say, "That's really stupid. Why did they spend so much money when they know that space doesn't exist?"
This bitch was dead-ass serious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"When's March?"
Montagg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently had a student ask me, "Mr. Montagg, did you know that some airplanes don't have TVs on them?"
In my freshman year of highschool, one guy managed to convince a girl enough to ask the teacher, "Do Japanese people have eyes like that because of the bombs?"
Troll level OG
bbshabob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IIT: Not a teacher but...
Capntk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school, this girl in our AP World History class asked if the movie 10,000 B.C. was historically accurate. She wasn't the brightest.
I teach the first grade and tend to have a goofy sense of humour with them. They learn better and can remember the weirdest things.
So this question comes from the quiet kid that only responds to baseball orientated questions/statements.
So he asks "Mr.DistanceXtime why are you so stupid?". At this point the vice principle walks past my classroom as I loudly called his name out. He gets pulled out of class and gets a stern talking to. Knowing he is always a good kid, I stepped in and defended the little guy, assuming he ment to say "silly".
Last time a variation of this question was asked, someone said every time a teacher told them, 'there are no stupid questions,' he would ask "how come meteors always land in craters?"
So not stupid necessarily but still an amazing story. A few years ago I was in a classroom with middle schoolers doing sex ed. One day the med student brought contraceptives to class and upon seeing a female condom one of my female students eyes got big as she shouted oh, "oh my god he's supposed to be big enough to fill that!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in a class, but in a conversation with a neighborhood kid. Context: it was nighttime, and the planets Venus and Jupiter were right next to each other in the sky.
I pointed the two planets out to him: "That bright one is Venus, and the other one next to it is Jupiter."
I'm not a teacher, but in my biology class in 8th grade (Advanced bio I may add) we were learning about reproduction. My teacher brought up that Yao Ming was actually made in a test tube to specifically become a basketball player. I, being the intelligent 14 year old I was, blurted out, "Wow, must have been a big test tube!" My teacher was laughing so hard she almost fell on the floor.
This isn't a stupid question, but maybe a telling one. Teaching a history class of ninth graders who were all from diverse and mixed backgrounds in a safe city neighbourhood in Toronto. No white kids in the class. We watched Schindler's List and in the scene when a Nazi killed a Jew in the clearing of the ghetto in Warsaw, the kids were confused because they couldn't believe that someone could just kill someone else without a reason. They also didn't understand why Germans hated the Jews, as one kid said, "Aren't they both white?"
"Doesn't chocolate milk come from chocolate cows?"
She was in 12th grade and completely serious.
19surf75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach AP Physics and during one of my lectures, an 11th grade boy raised his hand and asked, "Gravity is like that downward force, right?". I stormed out of the classroom and threw the conveniently placed desk at the wall of the hallway.
Why the hell do these posts always end up with a bunch of people saying "I'm not a _ but..."
Nyrb10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my nineth grade geography course asked if you could walk across the Atlantic Ocean to Europe during the winter. Her train of thought being that the entire ocean would freeze.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite what you're asking, but we had a game in high school where with friends we would pick some random words before class, and the goal was to ask a question to the teacher during class containing said word. And of course you needed to keep a straight face.
So... one time, I had "fox". It was a geography class where energy policies were being discussed, so I seized my chance. I raised my hand, teacher gave me the nod, and I asked:
"Do they make experiments on foxes in nuclear plants?"
The classroom erupted. The teacher looked at me like I was dumber than a doorknob. I had the silent approval of my fellow players. I was basking in glory.
Once, in primary school, the teacher wrote a few phrases on the board that were incorrect, and we had to fix them (think, "a whole nother"). I saw "the safternoon" and couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. The teacher was very disappointed haha
vansc14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't the teachers but a fellow student. This is in gr.8, at a catholic private school (uniforms and such) one kid legitimately didn't know how to tie his shoes. Kid was an asshole, bullied me. No sympathy. Like he wasn't retarded, he was just stupid.
Not a teacher but someone at my table during APES in 12th grade started talking to me about how amazing it was that you could travel to the future or past by flying on a plane. Proceeded to explain time zones and how we were not literally traveling through time everytime we flew a plane for the next 10minutes. Still makes me angry to this day.
I was a TA for introductory biology (college freshmen mostly) and we often went to a park with a pond to collect water samples, etc. One day there was a dead bee in the water and one of the students asked me, "what's that?" Obviously, I explained that it was a water bee; they evolved fins instead of stingers. The student was like "really!?" And I responded "no... it's just a dead bee."
Not a teacher, but in my high school history class we were learning about WWII. When our teacher sat down one day to start talking about the invasion of Normandy, he said, "Ant now on do ze invasion of Norm-an-dy."
A not so bright girl in our class exclaimed, "Oh! Coach! I didn't know you spoke German!"
Apparently she thought everyone else in the world just speaks English with an accent, not an actual different language.
Not a teacher, but TWO kids in my seventh grade class did not now that Missouri was a state. AND I LIVE IN THE US! One of these kids (who was supposedly part of the group of smart kids) also did not know where India is. As a person who is an expert in geography and history, this scares me.
Not a teacher but we were talking about early civilizations(Mesopotamia) and one boy says "that was when we had the big country (referring to Pangea) right".
Obligated not a teacher. But I was in a level 400 university class. I had to explain to a teammate that wikipedia is not a viable resource. I made them find a new resource for their information as I was team lead that week. (Classes were online and only 5 weeks long) I still have no idea how they got that far. In a level 300 class I had to explain that if you don't participate in a team assignment, you won't any credit for it. When their name didn't get added they flipped out at me. I told them to bring it up to the instructor who had been watching the team discussions and had decided that she didn't participate so she didn't deserve a grade on the assignment. I just finished my degree last week and I am SOOOO glad I am done dealing with these people.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:19:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't an overused response to something that is obviously not actual anger.
Orngog ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Presumably downed for language? Good point tho
dopkick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I worked with all co-op students who came to our organization, so I spent a lot of time teaching these students. All of the students were electrical or computer engineers. One of them, who was about to start his senior year, seemed particularly dim. He was clearly just not getting it and behind even where I would expect someone with substantially less experience to be.
Eventually I said something like "we need to connect this pin on this chip to that pin on that chip."
His response? "How do I do that?"
I face palmed and said "with a wire." He seemed to have a revelation that electrical signals could be transmitted over a wire.
Where I live we usually just refer to it by its measurement in inches. 8.5 by.11. 11 by 17. Things like that, and if someone just says "a sheet of paper" everyone automatically goes to 8
5 by 11.
You mean relating to the dimensions of the paper you're starting with? When someone says piece of paper in the US, they mean an 8.5 x 11 piece. If they don't mean 8.5 x 11 they will say what size of paper they are referring to.
Yeah I know, I was being facetious. But still, half a sheet is still a full sheet.
Aleitheo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like ignorance to me, did the teacher mean half of an A4 sheet? Because it doesn't matter what size or shape it is, it's still a sheet of paper. The teacher was being awkward here if that was the case.
I am not a teacher but there was this one girl in my high school history class who asked the teacher when the all the color in the world turned on. She also asked if it was a gradual thing where color slowly started to appear or if it was instantaneous like a light switch. We all thought she was joking...
Not a teacher, but there's this one really stupid kid in my grade who is gullible of nearly anything. He once asked the teacher "what is the purpose of the governator" when discussing state government. We were also able to convince him earlier this year that Prince was the lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, his favorite band, and that's why he should care more about Prince's death. He was completely devastated when we convinced him of this and believed it for a solid two weeks. The kid is a senior in high school and has no mental illness whatsoever
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He will if you don't stop with that shit. Better tell him how to look things up.
bs13690 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:10:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was explaining how an engine works to a new student. As I was getting to the fuel system, he asked "Wait how does the engine combust if all the fuel is in the tank and none is in the cylinders?" After delving deeper in to the issue, he had thought all the fuel was held in the cylinders. I suppose he was just never taught how an engine works.
jbloom3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:56:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but heard a woman ask a question in a college level course. She asked if semen was constructed of sugars, why it tasted so salty?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:43:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told a girl in my class she asked a stupid question today. There are no stupid questions when it comes to the content, but if you ask me to explain the thing I just got done explaining... I consider that a stupid question. And it happens a lot
Maybe you should explain it in a way they will understand. Not everyone thinks the same way you do
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I guess context is important...I see she's on her cell phone when I'm explaining it
syde2456 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:45:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 8th grade we had this ridiculously hot English teacher. She was a coach for one of the girls sports teams, so really fit and I'm pretty sure this was her first year teaching... 12yo boys, I digress. She was discussing something we'd read in class and it was one of those situations where she'd kinda lost the wheel and we were just asking random questions and she was answering. Some one asked her whether she'd been to Mardi Gras which being in a few hundred miles from New Orleans was something we were all pretty familiar with. Any way she answered that she had and that's when I asked the stupidest question I've ever asked, mind you I'm a good student and raised my hand and waited to be called on to ask "Did you show em your tits?"
syde2456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh um, she asked me to stay after class. Was pretty cool about it actually, didn't give me detention or anything. She explained how inappropriate the question was and kinda overall made me feel like a shitty person but never answered it directly... So my guess is yeah, she showed dem titties. There was this one guy in my grade who never let that go, senior year he was still calling me Mardi Gras. Honestly I kinda wish that nickname had caught on with more people.
jaejae26 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh um , she asked me to stay after class. She's asked me why I would ask a question like that. I said, I dunno, it just popped in my head. She got this weird look In her eyes. She asked if I always think about her tits. At this point, I'm rock hard. Like my body knows what's going to happen next. I told her sometimes. Then, I kid you not, she ripped open her blouse, and her huge tits flopped out. Biggest I ever seen. I won't lie. I was scared. We ended up fucking on her desk for the next twelve hours. My pals won't believe me. Oh well.
syde2456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, this right here is exactly the way it played out. Disregard any alternative facts you may have heard to the contrary.
Haha, that's pretty funny. As a former stupid teenage boy myself, getting put in one's place in terms of stuff like that is always a good thing. So I'm glad she did that, but yeah, that's a pretty slick nickname to have at the same time.
eelee23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:53:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but last night my 16 yr old sister asked me to add the commas and punctuation where she needed it in her paper. Did I mention she's 16?
This also may not be her fault; she was never taught this in school.
Obligatory I'm not a Teacher but... we were talking about politics and the teacher says something about Condoleezza Rice. Girl in the class "Condoleezza Rice? What is that?"
I was a tutor but close enough. I was working with an 7th grader after school on his homework. "Why do we have to put a little dot at the end of the words?" I'm pretty sure they were sober.
Not a teacher, but I was the smartest kid in all my freshman year classes. During Government, I got asked by this Nicki Minaj prototype, whose name was actually Nikki, "Hey, u/zfighter18, was Eleanor Roosevelt High School named after the Eleanor Roosevelt?"
All I could reply with was, "Do you know any others?"
VenBede ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:35:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question but 8th grader proudly proclaims that he intends to smoke weed in front of the police station on 4/20 because "it will be legal" (this was about 10 years ago).
When pressed further he replied that weed is legal throughout the nation on 4/20 but returns to being illegal on 4/21. So you have to get all of your smoking in during that one day where you can, apparently, smoke in front the police station as they watch you powerlessly.
It was super tempting to not correct this and watch the little fucker get arrested for smoking weed in front of the police station. But I decided to adult and correct his wrong thinking.
Biggest life regret.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:41:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former student I wanna throw out a question I asked when I was 6 or 8. I asked my teacher how to spell UP. She rightfully looked and me like I was crazy and said "come on you know how to spell that. You know what 7-up is.".
Not a teacher, but a high school student...
My freshman year in biology, my teacher was comparing the amount of cells in our bodies to the grains of sand in the ocean. This one girl raises her hand and asks "Wait, but I thought cells were bigger than grains of sand??"
From that point on (it was only September) I knew it was gonna be a longgggg year.
jwktiger ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:52:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher is say A question is only stupid if you don't know the answer. That's why trial lawyers are morons, they can only ask questions know the answer to.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:55:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I use the bathroom?"
mathalf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:19:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'why is there an icecream on your cap?' .. told the kid to type in guwop on youtube when he got home
Obligatory not a teacher, but freshman college student. In my art history class, we had a 21 year old student ask "do people still live in Athens?" He was legitimately shocked to learn Athens is an actual place outside of Greek mythology.
We were also learning about archaic smiles (actual term) which is a signature feature in archaic Greek statues. We were going over an identification quiz with an archaic statue (New York Kouros), and the dude got the question wrong, saying it was a classical statue. He demanded to receive credit with the argument that "the smile wasn't archaic enough".
ME: This is the commutative property for multiplication and the commutative property for addition.
Student: Which one is the commutative property for addition?
Not a teacher, but in my World History class we were watching a speech that Hitler gave (video). One girl raises her hand afterwards and asks "So was that actually Hitler speaking?"
Apparently she thought we invented video cameras before microphones.
flinchm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was teaching genetics and began talking about Dolly the cloned sheep. A student raised her hand and, perplexed, said, "But I thought Dolly was a llama."
Honors student. Not a joke. Maybe a bit dim.
Swefun ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During science class in high school the teacher asks how the penis can get erected. A student answers:'It has a bone'.
Teacher:'So, your penis has a bone?'.
Student:'Yes, don't everyone have that?'
A sixth grader asked me why silent movies were always black and white, I told him because everything was black and white back then. He said oh that's what I thought... grade schoolers are so gullible .
Not a teacher, but a conversation overheard between my 7th grade teacher and a co-student of mine. It's been years and I still remember having a hysterical fit internally.
Geography wasn't the easiest concept for this girl, so I felt bad for finding it so funny. We were doing a location search activity, sitting side by side at one of those two person desks, sharing a flat map of the globe. We were making decent time, given the ease of the activity, but as I was focusing, the other student gets a puzzled look on her face and stops working. She raises her hand and calls over the teacher, and when she walked over to our desk, this student asks,
"Why are there two Pacific Oceans on the map?"
To which the teacher replied,
"Because the world is round?"
enineci ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:23:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
In high school geography, we were watching a video about animals from different parts of the world. There was a slow motion shot of some cheetahs running. A girl from the back pipes up and asks, "Do they really run that slow?"
Third grade, teacher calls on a girl named Jessica who is completely zoned out to answer a VERY simple math problem, like 2+4 simple. She returns to reality and asks "Wait what? How?"
For the next 5ish minutes, everyone starts screaming at Jessica that it's fucking 2+4, use your fingers if you have too, and she panics and freezes up, basically in shock over how to do 2+4
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:46:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught at a tech school for a while. Girl shows up in class on day one, gets syllabus, expectations, etc. Next time I see her is at the final exam (yep, skipped the midterm and all quizzes). I pass out the tests and five minutes later she leaves the class, turning in nothing. After class, I'm meet by her and my boss, overseer of all teachers. He asks what we can do for her... I told them she can pass the midterm and the final and I would remove quizzes from the grade calculation. If she knows the material, I have no problem with her not wasting her time or mine. However, if not, it would be unfair to everyone that came to class and learned the material.
I turned in the score she earned, zero, but would bet my house she passed the class to improve the schools graduation percentage.
Dwhoneil ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:01:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every question that has to do with instructions on how to answer a quiz/exam when instructions are written on the exam sheet. Especially along the lines of "Do we write the letter of the answer, sir? Or do we circle the the letter?"
I actually asked this one back when I was in 6th grade science. We were on a marine biology unit, and learning all about the different marine animals etc...one of them was the aptly named "sperm whale."
I was caught whispering this loudly to my friend:
"So that's why guys shouldn't pee in the swimming pool or oceans! Sperm escapes when they pee and then they'll grow into whales!"
Tbilnakc ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 16:07:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Although I'm not a teacher I was a student in Adv. Human anatomy and Physiology in high school. "Cream if the prop. Hand picked for this advanced class." Anyways...
Had a girl raise her hand and ask why sperm tastes salty. I honestly don't know how any of us keep it together from not laughing.
wvspike ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The response I always wanted to give was, "As a professional educator I know there are no stupid questions, but if there were that would be a prime candidate."
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
literally happened yesterday, I wrote the date in cursive on the board (because the students hate reading cursive) and the student asked what month it was because he couldn't read what the board said
_Krysix_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher but as a student of physics once the teacher was showing how if you throw a magnet through a metallic tube it passes slowly and spinning. After that a student asked what happened if the magnet didn't fit into the tube. The teacher put a poker face and just ignored him.
That student asked stupid questions all the time and he wasn't trying to kid the teacher. Certainly not the kind of guy you expect studying physics at a university.
Not a teacher, but one time in my English class after a pretty extensive unit on the Holocaust and Holocaust literature, a girl asked the teacher what state it happened in.
Not a teacher, was just a fellow 17 year old student at the time when during a class about Ancient Greece, a girl asked if the rest of the world had been invented yet or if it was just Greece...
nasif10 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can'the remember the questions she asked, but she asked some pretty stupid ones. Though she wasn't dumb, she had good grades. It's just that she's weirdly dumb at times. This is from a classmate
I hate posts like this. There are so many stupid questions/thoughts/decisions on a daily basis that there's no way you could remember them unless they had that big of an impact on you, and/or you wrote it down.
This will probably get buried, but this is a classic from my childhood and I must share. (Also, not a teacher, just was present)
High School grade 11 - Human Anatomy & Physiology
Spent a week on reproductive organs and all that jazz. Twin cheerleaders in my class sit in front of me. They've been giggly-bits all week long over the subject.
Anyway, the subject of semen comes up and cheerleader A puts her hand up.
"If semen is made up of sugars, why doesn't it taste sweet?"
Of course, the class erupts with laughter and the teacher has to calm everyone down. She was a helluva professional and took the question seriously. Meanwhile Cheerleader A's face is beet red (don't know how she thought people would react). As everyone is finally starting to calm down Cheerleader B chimes in.
"It's because your taste buds are at the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat!"
Everyone completely lost it. Finally the teacher does get everyone to cool their jets and she replies
"Now we've all had a good laugh and hopefully it's out of our systems, but Cheerleader A had a question. (looks directly at Cheerleader A) Your sister is technically correct, thank you both for being so attentive."
Damn, a sick burn, but also knowledge learned. I wish I had half the composure this woman had.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the stupidest question was, because there are no stupid questions.
Crossta ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While these are all excellent, I guarantee 90% of them are from American class rooms ๐
College astronomy class, we literally went over this since day one... Some smelly kid in the back,,, yeaa. Asks,
"How do you sink a Polish ship?"
Poland never had a NAVY. And horses can't swim.
aydjile ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no stupid questions. Only lazy or incompetent educators.
Xyleph42 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I could share my story but the joke only work in my native language :/
Not a teacher, but I like to bring my guitar to school and practice during the hour I have free from classes. I say hour, but it's more like an hour and a half, Lunch and no class after that for me.
Well, if you want to come in and listen to me, go ahead, right? I'm not the best, I'm still learning, but it's fun as hell to have an audience.
One of the first songs I've ever learned was Disengage by Suicide Silence, and I almost have the little bit in the middle that differs from the normal four or five notes through the entire song.
When I was done I had a girl ask me if the song was by Bring Me The Horizon...
I still haven't recovered.
Delucys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in the 6th grade a girl asked the teacher what a tarantula was
ZoiSarah ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I do train me people at my office job. Any question that can easily be researched and I know they are just asking because it's faster for them is a stupid question. I value my time, thus is why the information is written down for you.
The question should have been phrased... "Teachers: When did a student make their learning disability (that you should have know about by now) so obvious that it could no longer be ignored, yet you did nothing about it and now make fun of them on reddit for karma?"
For future reference... humans aren't supposed to be this dumb. There is something actually wrong with them (various forms and levels of learning disabilities and/or mental illness) and they need intervention and help.
It seems most of these stupid questions have to do with science themes. We now have a president who doesn't want to acknowledge science as a real thing. Man, imagine what those stupid questions will be in ten years.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:39:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember this Jew girl at classroom asking another Jew friend if they do believe in dinosaurs. The class was not sure what to make of it.
Saved comment
purdue_pete33 ยท 2676 points ยท Posted at 15:55:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my senior year of high school I was in a personal finance class. The teacher explained that not paying your taxes could get you incarcerated. Student: "So if you don't pay your taxes, the government will light you on fire?!" Teacher: "No, incarcerated means to imprison. You're thinking of incinerated." Student: "Oh. Wait, then what's taxidermy?"
DenverDudeXLI ยท 634 points ยท Posted at 16:37:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taxidermy is a bonus skin treatment you get from the IRS if you do your taxes just right.
Stewbodies ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 22:16:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you're thinking of Botox. Taxidermy is a brand of window cleaner.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:22:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So is Windex the same as imprisonment?
DenverDudeXLI ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:26:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure Taxidermy isn't some sort of cleaner for cabs?
dewymeg ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:50:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I drive a taxi and dear god I lost my shit at this XD
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:07:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking more like a thunderdome with yellow cabs.
Mefic_vest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:10 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for making me blow my cornflakes out through my nose.
DenverDudeXLI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:18 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always happy to help!
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 22:15:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Yggsdrazl ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:45:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ftfy
AyyyMycroft ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:06:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "Taxidermy is when stuff a dead dog full of cash to hide your assets from the IRS."
Student: "So then, what's tax evasion?"
Teacher: "That's when you dodge a bike messenger carrying your subpoena to appear in tax court."
Student: "What's a sub-"
Teacher: "Just pay your damn taxes."
JeIIyDM ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:57:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SIR I AM NOT A TAXESING PERSON AND YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP ME. I AM GOING TO HANG UP NOW.
ViolaNguyen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:35:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taxidermy is what the Soviet Union did to you if you didn't pay taxes.
coldfusionpuppet ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:05:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one got me. Sounds like a Disney kids sitcom scene.
Canucklehead99 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:28:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOPE. CHUCK TESTA.
SimplyNigh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:18:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were they by any chance immigrants or came from a family of one? Cos I think it's kinda understandable. I used to go to a school with a lot of foreign students in Thailand and they had similar mix-ups.
purdue_pete33 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:52:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he was an American student. His mind was just typically other places. I recall seeing him browsing through pictures of pot on Google images in his free time
Cockrocker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is somfucking good, you couldn't write better dialogue. Just genius.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English is weird.
Like_hell_tis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:55 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Siri fft the ft and the rfdt
Adezu ยท 499 points ยท Posted at 15:35:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but:
"What happens if a girl pees during sex? Does it push the guy out like a geyser??".
From a 17 year old girl who was doing well in biology. Was.
We had a solid argument for 15 minutes on how many holes a girl has.
opiumheroine ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:26:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes a similar argument I had with a freshman guy my sophomore year of high school seem almost reasonable. Although he didn't think my being female with a thorough knowledge of my own body was suitable evidence for my argument...
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:00:34 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's sorta similar to how some people seem to think it's impossible to urinate while you have an erection. I've been told by some women that it's not possible.
Except it is. I have a penis and I've done it.
But apparently that's not good enough for them.
scorpzrage ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:01:08 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine waking up late and not being able to take a quick pee because of morning wood. Terrifying.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:27:20 on February 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, it's incredibly difficult to pee with morning wood.
Chaos_Therum ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:37:16 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I can't piss with a hardon unless I strain hard as hell.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:10:14 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. It'll come out for me without much effort. Only trouble is aiming.
LordMarcel ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:08:21 on February 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just plank on the toilet
juhniece ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:02:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, my grandma didn't know this until she was in her late 50's. My sister and I had to explain it to her. They didn't have comprehensive sex Ed when she was younger and my great grandmother was insane and a bitch. She was so ill-informed. I've also educated her about cannabis, alcohol, and LGBT. My grandfather was a cop for 50 years so he was no help in most areas as he'd rather her not know hah
hypervelocityvomit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:35:08 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a laser-guided bomb with tracer, right?
supremecrafters ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:00:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6, more if they have piercings or strange birth defects. Men are only a manifold of genus 5.
Waldopemersonjones ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:23:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get 8, but I'm counting each nostril.
supremecrafters ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:13:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hold on, let me recount.
The digestive system (mouth to anus) makes one, the nasal cavities make two and three, your Eustachian tubes make four and five. Fallopian tubes make six in women.
Where it all falls down is the nasolacrimal ducts. I'm not sure whether to count them or not, and if I do, how many holes to count them as. Depending on the medical diagrams I look at, it could be counted as two or four per person. Do the eyes count as blocking up the nasolacrimal ducts, in which case it wouldn't mater from a topological perspective.
Based on my recount, I'm going to say a minimum of 6 for men and 7 for women, maximum of 8 for men and 9 for women. Ignore my previous comment.
fishling ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:08:38 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are overthinking this question if you think the follow-up to "How many holes?" is "Topologically?"
Just count all the places you can fit a cotton swab tip and the two elimination orifices. 7 for men, 8 for women.
elefrhino ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:31:35 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking thank you.
ILoveVaginaAndAnus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:35 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You put your mouth on an anus?
Mwezina ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:29:10 on February 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, yes. But not for the reason you think it does.
Duckie17 ยท 458 points ยท Posted at 18:06:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but more of a statement that prompted a whole discussion when I was student teaching.
(To set the stage, I would like to point out that I am white and my leading teacher was African American, and the classroom was about 60% African American, 30% Latino, and the remaining 10% a mixture of Asian and white. This was also my advanced class and we were discussing the apartheid in Africa.)
Me: So the Black Africans and White Africans -
Student raises hand: Miss Duckie, you can't say that
Me: Say what?
Student: Black. Its AFRICAN AMERICAN
Me, trying my hardest to not die a little inside: No, that is actually not the correct phrase. Can anyone tell me why 'African American' is not the correct term for this situation?
Silence
Me: Okay guys, look at it this way, are we talking about Americans? No. We are not. We are talking about a racial issue in AFRICA with no relation to AMERICA at all. The definition of AFRICAN AMERICAN is a person of AFRICAN descent living in AMERICA. So if the people we are talking about are not American, they cannot be African American can they? So to talk about the racial issue, the labels used are Black Africans and White Africans (as outlined by our textbook).
Student: No. You can't say that. They are African American.
At this point my lead teacher is face palming. She is in total disbelief, and as much as she loved to watch me struggle, she stepped in and tried to explain it as well. Twenty minutes go by of the two of us trying our best. The bell rings. The kids still couldn't figure it out. I think we both nearly cried.
(*edited: forgot about formatting)
Baron-of-bad-news ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 21:19:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
British actor Idris Elba was once asked by a journalist what it meant to him to be the first African American considered for the role of James Bond. Hell, there was that whole controversy when Ellen joked about riding Usain Bolt, despite the fact that people were projecting their own ideas about what it meant to be an African American onto a Jamaican and concluding that because he was black they must apply.
SeenSoFar ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 01:39:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've told this story on Reddit before. I'm a white guy living in Africa. I generally split my time between Cape Town and Kampala. My wife is a black Ugandan. I do work with MSF in the poorest and most disadvantaged areas of Africa. We get American volunteers on occasion, as well as encounter Americans from other NGOs. They have on several occasions started all sorts of trouble over race relations. To be clear, the issues didn't exist, they just tried to create an issue and then tell the locals that they should be offended by it. Usually it resulted in laughter and dismissal, but I've seen it go as far as them being no longer welcome in that particular village or township.
Sorts of things I'm talking about:
Calling the locals African-Americans
Saying that the South African ethnic group that's known as "Coloured" is offensive and that Coloured people should be offended for being Coloured
Saying that I'm raping my wife by being married to her
Saying I'm raping Uganda by being a citizen
Saying I'm committing cultural appropriation by integrating with the local culture
Assuming that all Africans hate their life and want to come to America
Here's a bonus one for you:
Following me and my wife half way across Uganda to find out where I live so they could tell my neighbours that I'm a colonialist and they should lynch me. I wish I was joking. So here's the story. We're working South-Western Uganda. We finish. My wife and I are driving back to Kampala. We notice this person is following us. "Huh, she must be flying out from Entebbe, but she never mentioned it. I thought her NGO was based out of Kigali (Rwanda)... They must have an office in Kampala, she's driving their Land Cruiser... Oh well, we put it out of our minds and settle into the drive.
Several hours later we arrive in Kampala, and instead of heading for Entebbe she's following us. We figure she must be needing something from us, which we dread, cause she's been obnoxious about my race the whole time. We arrive at home, and age jumps out of her land cruiser with a huge shit eating grin on her face and says that she's going to "expose" me and that I'm "done." Oh boy... She starts banging on the gates of my neighbours, screaming her head off about cultural appropriation and how they need to open their eyes to the fact that I'm raping them.
A white woman screaming about rape in the streets of Kampala will draw a crowd. Soon she's got a whole audience of people who think she's been raped. She's asked to explain what happened and she starts in on her social justice warrior stuff again. Dead. Fucking. Silence. I've never heard such silence in Kampala. Suddenly explosive laughter. My neighbours start speaking Luganda and saying what a nut bar she is. She's furious and starts talking down to everyone. Telling them they don't understand. So on. Long story short she's told to leave in a very unfriendly way. My wife and I get along fantastically with our neighbours.
Turns out she was supposed to drive to Kigali, return the Land Cruiser, and fly out. Instead she followed me from almost at the Rwandan border to Kampala to make an ass of herself.
featherdino ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:35:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is fuckin wild, got anymore stories like this? wowza
SeenSoFar ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 02:57:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one else has ever been that crazy, but there are other cases. One that was almost as bad was someone who gate crashed part of my wedding to make similar accusations.
A traditional Ugandan wedding includes a part where the man buys the bride from her family. Keep in mind we're not talking an arranged marriage or a mail-order bride. We met and fell in love all on our own, but the tradition demands I pay the bride price if I want to marry her. I don't know how this person got word of my personal affairs, but they show up at my wife's mother's village screaming about slavery and colonialism. Her dad is a cop, it didn't go over well.
The thing that gets me is that they always end up being way more offensive than they are accusing me of being by telling the people that they don't understand and that they're too stupid and backward to get the fact that I'm doing something evil by taking part in their culture.
prancingElephant ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:29:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny how sometimes multiculturalism is so disrespectful of others' cultures.
featherdino ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:02:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh dear. what a mess.
crwlngkngsnk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:09:14 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? That's what I got out of it. That's the real racism. That crazy paternalism. That's not much better than actual colonialism.
cabarne4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:06 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These stories are amazing. Keep up the great work!
brookasaurusrex ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 07:33:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got in an argument with a teacher about this once. She insisted on the term African American to describe black people and I asked what if you have white American parents but are born in Africa? Wouldn't you be African American? She said no, that's offensive and that they would be called something different. But when I asked what she just got frustrated and angry. I was 11, it seemed like a very reasonable question.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:00:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:40:44 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe "white African American" or "European African"?
CheeeeEEEEse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:54 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anglo-African?
MSG17 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:44:20 on April 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you'd be American-African, or American-(name of African country's person, like Ugandan). With stuff like this, its usually ancestry-nationality for names
AuthorAnonymous95 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:17:11 on February 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was twelve or thirteen, I (white) had a similar conversation with another white friend about a mutual friend of ours, who's black.
Me: Yeah, I know him. Kind of tall, skinny black guy.
Friend: That's racist. You're supposed to say African-American.
Me: But he's Haitian...
cabarne4 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:56:10 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'm just an ignorant white person, but I've always thought the term "African American" was wrong -- because you're assuming that (1) the person is of African descent, and (2) the person is American. If I randomly met someone on the streets of New York City, who's originally from the Dominican Republic, and is now a British citizen, it'd be 100% wrong to call him "African American", but without asking him personal questions about his heritage and citizenship, I'd have no way of knowing.
TL;DR -- if it's not racist to call me "white", why is it racist to call someone "black"?
Drharbringer117 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:59:57 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its not. I prefer the term black because i have no roots in africa. Like have i ancestory there yes. But if you go back in my family history you find hispanic white and native american
cabarne4 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:17:46 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure if we go back far enough, we all have ancestors in Africa. ๐
cadaeibfeceh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:26:55 on April 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes sense historically, though. The term African-American was originally made up because at the time, many people were mentally sorting people into "blacks" and "real Americans". And in that context I totally get wanting to make up a word that really emphasises that black Americans are Americans too.
SharpshooterHIT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:32 on July 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Believe that word would just be Americans.
Triton_330 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:15:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I can't stand people like that.
gino188 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:48:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol...in an "advanced" class. the leaders of our next generation.
crwlngkngsnk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:17:57 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. That is just sad. I'm far from right-wing, but that kind of knee-jerk PC that admits no question being drilled into people is a problem. It encourages ignorance. How old were the kids? I'm guessing high school age from the context. That should be plenty old enough for most kids, especially in an advanced class, to be able to discuss racial issues in some sort of intelligent fashion. And then, not having the critical thinking to parse "African-American" and understand why maybe it doesn't apply to people not in or from America? Makes me wanna cry, too.
kutuup1989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:28 on April 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find the whole African American thing kinda weird. There are a lot of black British people, and we just call them British in terms of their nationality, and black/afro as their race. Most black people in the UK refer to their own race as just "black" too. It would feel weird here to refer to them as African British. The term "people of colour" isn't really a thing here either. It's actually considered rude to refer to a black person as "coloured". Not offensive per se, just rude. The N word was never really a thing here either. The equivalent, equally offensive word here was/is "wog". I have no idea where that came from, but saying it is a good way to get beat the hell up.
fakeeric ยท 910 points ยท Posted at 15:16:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex Ed Class: Is Breast milk 1% or 2%?
LostGundyr ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 17:25:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well? Which is it?
quantasmm ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 19:43:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
looks like 4 to 5%.
Magnap ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:02:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is way lower than I expected. How do babies stay so fat if that is all they eat?
quantasmm ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:18:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did a quick back-of-the-envelope calculation. If a baby drinks 1 cup of breast milk, they'd get 11 grams of fat. At 0.9 grams per mil, that's like 12 mL. That's at least half a roll of pennies (by volume). they don't eat a cup every time, but they eat several times a day. After 20 cups, they'll have 1 cup of fat, and that's probably every week or two. That's a lot of fat.
Magnap ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:49:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I looked it up, they drink roughly 3/4 L a day, that's 564 calories, of which 300 are from the 34 g of fat. Seems likely enough after all, considering their size.
AlbanianDad ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:51:40 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excess calories turn into fat, whether they came from carbohydrates, proteins, or lipids!
AlbanianDad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:51:38 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excess calories turn into fat, whether they came from carbohydrates, proteins, or lipids!
Magnap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:43:24 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but lipids are more calorie-dense than carbohydrates or proteins. So if you learn that something has a lower fat content than you had thought, unless you happen to know how many calories it contains, you'd expect it to have fewer.
AlbanianDad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:52 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it's less calorie dense. But it can be much more filling than simple carbs in some cases. So the net effect is you might eat less calories.
Chuagge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:25 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Caloric intake is what matters.
Magnap ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:11:30 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, after doing the math, I realized that size matters, something I'd forgotten to consider when writing the original comment. Per kilogram of body weight, babies consume way more calories than adults. However, that wasn't the source of my original confusion, and "caloric intake is what matters" wouldn't be helpful in that situation, because my original confusion stemmed from learning that breast milk has a lower fat percentage than I'd thought, which implies it has fewer calories, especially since I believed (and still believe) that the majority of its calories come from fat. Basically, this response still applies.
Chuagge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:29 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was the idea of babies being fat, but totally makes sense now.
runintothenight ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:24:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
beat me to it!
Palaeos ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whole milk. Duh.
Nimmyzed ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:19:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand the way Americans label their milk. In Ireland we have full fat, low fat, and skimmed milk.
Simples.
Americans seem to have all these too but also these percentages things. 1% and 2% would seem to have very little difference between them. Then there's half and half. Half full fat milk half water? Half what?? I am so confused.
For a country known for simplifying everything I'm surprised their milk labelling is so confusing.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:29:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
laeiryn ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:14:03 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's half whole milk, half heavy cream.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:20 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ThePunkHippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:31 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't tell me how to live my life
FluffySharkBird ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:14:05 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The percent means the percent of the milk that is fat. If I sold you a block of milk fat, we'd call it 100% fat. Normal milk is 4% fat. So the 2% that most people like is half fat. 1% has...get this....1% fat.
kinetic-passion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:40:16 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We also use the opposite color labeling for milk and political parties than you do.
US-UK
Whole (red) - Full Fat (blue)
2% (dark blue)
1% (light blue) - Low Fat (actually 1.5% if you read the Morrison's label; perfect happy medium)
skim (light blue) - skim (red)
Half and half is half cream and half milk; it is supposed to be a slightly healthier substitute than cream for your coffee.
We also can only buy our milk in gallon, half gallon, and quarts. Schools buy pints/half pints in bulk from distributors, and you can generally find a soda sized bottle of milk in a convenience store, but you can't just go to the grocery store and buy a pint of milk. So I just miss out on milk generally, because I can't use it before it spoils.
Be grateful for your milk access.
Quailpower ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:36 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can freeze milk you know. Also there are lots of recipes to use up milk. I make a sponge cake which has high milk content. And ice-cream
Nimmyzed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:52 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting! But why are you drawing a UK reference? I'm from Ireland!
Really? You can't get a small litre of milk or the equivalent imperial size? Wow. We can buy pints, 1 litre, 2 litre and 3 litre. I've no idea what size a quart or a gallon is
Well now I am! Thanks for the interesting read.
kinetic-passion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:03 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sorry for the mislabeling; I wrote "UK" because I found this out while studying there
A gallon is 3.78 liters. A quart is a quarter of a gallon, so just under a liter. Milk generally spoils in the fridge for single people.
Nimmyzed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:46 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I'm lucky that I can buy a small pint of milk and a half sliced pan too! It's half of a full sliced pan but proper full size slices. Ideal for the single person who doesn't want their bread constantly going stale.
Xeonfobia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:19 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile in Norway: Double cream: Yellow, Whole: Red, Semi skimmed: Blue or green Skimmed: White.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:45 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whole milk isn't 100%, though, it's about 4%.
And half and half is supposed to be half whole milk and half heavy cream. It's our version of table cream, for tea (though most Americans don't put it into tea except perhaps chai) and coffee.
JapaneseStudentHaru ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:11:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on how big the boobs are
Arabellah16 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:38:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly enough that has nothing to do with it. B cups can produce the same content milk that H breasts produce. Yay biology!
FortuneDays- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:11 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup! Bigger pairs can go longer without emptying than smaller pairs though.
JayNotAtAll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they were just health conscious
alienccccombobreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A2
d_e_a_d_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:20 on February 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3.25% actually
ButteredJawbreakers ยท 3432 points ยท Posted at 15:32:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were looking at the Japanese flag and a kid asked "Is that why they wear that dot on their forehead?"
desi_op ยท 565 points ยท Posted at 01:45:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is traditionally worn by Indian - Hindu married women and it symbolizes that everything the husband does or says is being recorded and archived and can be used by them against them in any conversation for the next 30-40 years.
tabytha ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 04:29:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how you make a cultural joke without relying on offensive stereotypes! Very nice. :)
The_EastWind ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 11:20:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually a joke created by Indians, for Indians.
Source: Am Indian
SnipingNinja ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:45:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
Source: am Indian too.
tacotimeforthecrowd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:24:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm as well. Am Indian.
steak21 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:00:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am a redditor
GeekyReindeer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:11:42 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I'm reddit.
Dieselman25 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:21:32 on February 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Poppy
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:49 on March 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
papi
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:57:08 on March 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because women bringing up old stuff is totally not a stereotype!
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:56:33 on March 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1) offensive
2) stereotype
Two qualities, there.
Something can be "not a red barn" and still be a barn
PM_UR_FAV_HENTAI ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:52:24 on February 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd always heard that after the wedding night, the husband scratches it off to see if he's won a gas station.
myra-mains ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:44 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This deserves more upvotes
inno7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:26:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you hit pause on that dot, or do you hafta do other things for her?
OruSilentMadrasi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:35:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the scary part.
There is no pause button!
hypervelocityvomit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:18 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
#rec'd
benunciojr ยท 264 points ยท Posted at 19:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually the red dot on the forehead is a symbol of civil disobedience originating from when colonists would point their laser-sight sniper rifles at the native Japanese Indians.
Holy_Jumper ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 20:46:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know enough about Japan. It wasn't in that sun rise land video.
Stewbodies ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 21:57:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi China"
"Hi Dipshit" Said China
Honestly if anyone hasn't seen History of Japan, you're seriously missing out. It's life changing: https://youtu.be/Mh5LY4Mz15o
[deleted] ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 23:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese major here, that video is also surprisingly historically accurate.
NNJAxKira ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:45:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name doesnt check out
PM_ME_DANK_MEMESS ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 03:49:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name doesn't check out
oceanbreze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone Please Explain to me what "Name doesn't check out" or "Name checks out" mean?
fivepercentsure ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:10:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
some people may have usernames that may be relevant to what they are responding to. I think in this case, no one has a relevant username.
cannedinternet ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:36:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure?
fivepercentsure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe?
SnipingNinja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How sure are you?
fivepercentsure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eh?
SnipingNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In percentage, how sure are you?
cannedinternet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was guessing 4 or 6%
ThatCrazyLonelyChick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I thought Japanese women* invented hiragana because they weren't allowed to formally learn to read and write?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah pretty much everything about Kukai in it is wrong. He brought Shingon Buddhism to Japan (a vajrayana school that's in some ways the polar opposite of Zen, focused on elaborate rituals and esoteric mysteries), and of course he didn't invent kana (but there is a myth that he did or that he wrote the iroha poem).
It's also a gross oversimplification to say that women were not allowed to read/write or that women "invented" hiragana (it developed out of cursive man'yougana), but the kernel of truth there is that kana writing (and writing in Japanese at all) was initially more popular among women of the court than men.
Random details are a little off like this, but the broad strokes are fine.
kingakskl ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:17:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just went and watched this. Now I'm wondering why I haven't seen this before lmao
coffeebribesaccepted ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was in the top of all time on reddit for a while before they changed the points
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:46:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was top-notch.
mankiller27 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:54:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And surprisingly accurate.
JacobPariseau ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:58:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they ever do any other videos? That is the only one I've seen around
Stewbodies ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:08:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently he's been working on another for a while, but it takes a long time to make one so he's been working on it for months.
MannyTrejo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
changed my life
Coolfuckingname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every single time i watch that I'm amazed at its accuracy, denseness, and crazy sense of humor. Brilliant. Thanks.
Stealthy_Bird ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:08:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's people out there that will believe this
Ellthan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Colonists of what ethnicity?
Ololic ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:13:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese Indian. This was when there was an ice bridge between Japan and India.
PM_ME_YOUR_NACHOS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh I thought you meant the American ones"
SnipingNinja ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this is a joke or not. If you're serious, how do I not know about this, and where do I learn about this?
Galt42 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:57:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm impressed that he made the connection to Asian people with dots on their heads from a flag.
_Xertz_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:47:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't make this shit up
ButtsexEurope ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:57:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he mean bindis or was he talking about hachimaki?
The_EastWind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure he's talking about Bindi.
Worst_Username_Yet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:53:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was talking about bhindi
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, that's just silly.
SnipingNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well lady fingers are not silly.
SlimlineVan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:56:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One multicultural day at high school one student asked, after having it explained in class about the significance of the forehead markings, 'they have to have their head tattooed after getting married? What if they divorce?'
jenbanim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO I'm asking my Asian friends this
PM_ME_DANK_MEMESS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
video or it didn't happen
jenbanim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No video, but I fucked up the delivery and it wasn't very funny. Ah well
ghost20063 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, when people ask questions it's usually an indication of things they don't know, but Jesus fucking Christ.
yababyya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, Bangladesh flag ๐ง๐ฉ also has a big red dot. And people there do wear red dot on their forehead.
osoft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me why is this stupid?
Bad_Handyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he meant this?
This was the head scarf Kamikaze pilots would wear (called a "Hachimaki"), which symbolised perseverance.
Coolfuckingname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats beautiful
widermind ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I didnt know anything about Asia then I'd probably ask the same thing.
shleppenwolf ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it kind of is actually.
sohelpmereason ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:55:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the kid was talking about bindis worn by Hindus, not the Japanese headbands.
McDudeston ยท 2640 points ยท Posted at 15:01:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't a teacher, a lifeguard on a beach.
Man with a very thick Chicago accept asked me where the switch was to turn off the waves, so he could let his daughter go out and play in the water.
So I told him it was at my boss' stand.
TeaganMars ยท 1203 points ยท Posted at 20:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have pointed at the moon.
SlapstickVampire ยท 316 points ยท Posted at 20:56:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have said they put it on the moon in the 60s, because people kept messing with it. And there's a secret war over whether or not governments should have power to turn off the waves, and sabotage all attempts to get to the moon, which is why no one has been back.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:30:01 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SlapstickVampire ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:51:21 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am
honoredonard.pericardiyum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:52:23 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude no you wouldn't, that's way too elaborate to even come up with when you're in the shower the next morning.
SlapstickVampire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:29 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not immediately, no, but as the conversation progresses, almost definitely. It took me hardly any time to come up with that. But then, I'm crazy, so crazy comes naturally to me. :)
vmullapudi1 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 02:28:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Moon is the tides, what you really want to point at is the Sun. No Sun, no differential heating of the Earth, no air pressure differentials, no wind, no waves.
shadowaway ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:40:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know the moon doesn't control waves, right?
Coolfuckingname ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:24:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to read your comment to be reminded that, yes, the moon is not responsible for waves.
(Goes back and takes up vote away)
Im sometimes an idiot.
Coolfuckingname ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:25:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
Wind makes waves, moon and sun makes TIDES.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:31:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Truman show anyone?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IF YOU ARE SCARED
WE WILL SWIM TOGETHER
kasahito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tides come in, tides go out. Can't explain that!
yourpaleblueeyes ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 19:16:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bizarre indeed, because we have no switches on Lake Michigan either.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:54:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what confused me too, you'd think a chicagoan would be familiar with how waves work considering the lake is realistically an inland sea
westkms ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 20:49:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend used to be a river guide. It's apparently not that uncommon for people to complain that they don't get out of the river by their cars. They think it should be a round-trip, somehow.
He had a boat where the guide paddled two large oars while on a platform, and the tourists were mostly just spectators. One guy asked him why the track kept turning the boat around. So he started explaining why he sometimes prefers to row backwards, depending on the flow or simply to switch-up the rowing. And the guy interrupted to ask about the tracks. Turns out, he thought it was like a Disney ride, and the boat was guided by an underwater track.
Windowsandvents ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:46:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend used to lifeguard for a popular natural water slide on National Forest land. One of the most common questions she was asked by tourists was, "Is the water heater broken? Can you turn it on, the water is freezing!" Yeah, it's mountain water, it's 46 degrees, nothing we can do about it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:55:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to know more about this natural water slide
Windowsandvents ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sliding Rock at Pisgah National Forest in Pisgah Forest, NC.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:18 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GOOGLE DID NOT DISAPPOINT
AgentYuri2112 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 19:09:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't turn off the waves? I'd like to speak to your manager!"
MutatedPlatypus ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 21:03:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, so this guy would expect a water park to just turn off the wave pool and ruin everyone else's fun just so his daughter can play in it? Sounds pretty douchey on top of stupid. This girl is doomed
Enzown ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:13:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this was at a beach, not a water park.
rustyshackleford193 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:31:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We know that you oaf, he was talking about when that guy would be at an actual waterpark and request the waves to be turned off just for him, even though the park is shared by hundreds/thousands of people.
Rogue12Patriot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly thought the same on first reading through the last two comments... count me oaf as well:(
dky35 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:46:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like he might have been joking.
Chintreuil ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:35:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People like this really exist. We were checking in to our hotel room near some beautiful waterfalls. A man came down and started shouting at the guy at the desk stating he had called down several times and asked for the waterfalls to be turned off so he could get to sleep and everyone there was ignoring him. He wanted to complain to the manager.
McDudeston ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:50:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh how I wish he was. Stupid questions like that were not uncommon. His was just uncommonly stupid.
lellistair ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 19:32:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your boss'ใSTANDใcan control waves on a beach?
daveth666 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:59:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unexpected JoJo
Vaughn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:31:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Useless in a fight, I want to say, but they'd find a way.
Very situational, but he's probably unbeatable on a beach. Or near anything which could be punned as 'beach'.
beldr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:21:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must be the work of an enemy stand
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:28:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
r3djak ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 21:04:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Angry and aggressive and brash.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:19:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, we did start off with a large population of German immigrants.
MrBojangoUnchained ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Du bist nicht falsch.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:26 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmn, I was taught it should be "Du hast richtig"
or "Du hast falsch nicht"
Teoweoha ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:01:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listen to the old SNL "Ultimate Bears Fans" sketch. It's what a Chicago accent sounds like to people from outside Chicago.
One word that people often listen for is, "What's the state north of us?" Other parts of Illinois pronounce the o in the middle like the a in father, from Chicagoland it sounds like the a in apple. Wiscaensin.
I think it's the northern cities vowel shift maybe https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_Cities_Vowel_Shift
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
could you link I'm having trouble finding it. Or is it the bill swerski's super fans thing
Teoweoha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup! Bill Swerski's super fans.
NiceGuy60660 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:17:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Whersss da switchtaa ternnuff da wavsss? Maiiy dahhtrr waantssta go pleyy inda waaa-tr."
orcazebra ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It has more flat vowel sounds than other American accents.
everlastingSnow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:06:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too accept Chicago's existence. What a small world we live in...
Cahill7567 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:42:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i swear if this is real i'll have no more faith in Americans
third-eye-brown ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:21:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is certainly an extremely high variability in the potential intelligence level of Americans. Probably similar around the world, when you consider there are 350,000,000+ people here.
spazm ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a lifeguard at the Blizzard Beach wave pool. Technically not a real beach.
Kitehammer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:09:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Incorrect, Typhoon Lagoon is the one with the giant wave pool. Blizzard Beach has the really tall waterslides.
critacious ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:09:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blizzard Beach also has a wave pool though.
Younity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found Dwight!
kjm1123490 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The nostalgia. Grew up in SF and visited both of those a few times a year.
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But they're both in Florida?
kjm1123490 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:07 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah lol like 30 minutes apart
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:35 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does SF stand for? Where I'm from it means San Francisco, so I was confused.
Melenna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:05 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably southern Florida.
I'm in Michigan and when I see sf I also thing San Francisco. Maybe just a Florida thing.
NowhereMan583 ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 18:57:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you have faith in Americans? Have you SEEN what we're doing lately?
Also, I can completely see this happening.
Coolfuckingname ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You bring up a salient point.
Trump is evidence.
TOASTEngineer ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:31:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's people this stupid everywhere though.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, but not so often in positions of power!
TOASTEngineer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey now. Trump is not stupid. He's crazy. Huge difference. Stupid people don't get anything done.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:10 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not even crazy, maybe just the worst kind of arsehole.
I understand why you thought this, but I wasn't talking about Trump in particular.
brsmax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate Trump, but calling him stupid is just incorrect.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:56:38 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mention Trump, I was speaking generally.
brsmax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:10 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my bad, ya can't blame me for assuming though, considering the current climate.
Gryphon999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:44:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We don't turn off the ocean, sir. Do you have any idea how long it takes to start up again?
laeiryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:03 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a native Chicagoan, I would LOVE to know what the hell other people think a 'Chicago accent' even sounds like.
McDudeston ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:52 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounded pretty close. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc9pDieYDYg
badcentrism ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whoooosh ?
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He must have only been to waterparks.
ArmoredMouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a Chicago accent?
demortada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me, my boyfriend lives in a tourist town on an island. One summer, some cruise-ship passengers were passing through and an elderly couple stopped him to ask when they "turned off the river". He was stunned into silence and just walked away, he still can't wrap his mind around what they meant.
renegade187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That cant be true...he needs putting down
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:28:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck is a Chicago accent?
OstensiveCoordinator ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:43:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watch the "Da Bears" skit from Saturday Night Live.
For what it's worth, I've lived just outside of Chicago my entire life and have never met anyone that talks like this. Most around here have your generic Midwesterner accent.
Joie7994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "pssshhh nobody talks like tha--- holy shit, that's us."
I mean, my accent isn't that strong because my parents were from other parts of the Midwest but damn that sounds exactly like soooo many people I know!
OstensiveCoordinator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I know I'm probably somewhat numb to it through whatever exposure I've had throughout my life, but the stereotypical Chicago accent in entertainment is so thick that it's easy to identify.
My brother-in-law from San Diego, though, visits every once in a while and swears that everyone in Chicago talks exactly like that SNL skit.
Joie7994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is from another country and he occasionally tries to get me to say certain words just because he finds my accent amusing. Probably the most common one is he'll ask me what I'm drinking because apparently I say "coffee" funny.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was going to say I know plenty of people from Chicago but none of them sound like that that.
Of course, where I'm from we literally have no accents.
Warpato ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:41:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its literally impossible to not have an accent.
Lord7777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
everyone has an accent you just don't realize it
Sebatron2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody has accents. The accent for the place you're from is just the baseline your brain compares all other accents to.
GroovinWithAPict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Detective Andy Sipowicz
smile-with-me ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:46:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this in asked in the spirit of the post or do you actually mean it?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone already answered with the "Da Bears" SNL sketch although I've never personally heard anyone who talks like that. The people I know from Chicago sound the same as the people I know from Kansas City and STL.
Garbagesandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:24 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh... we have Lake Michigan which has had a wake for thousands of years...
[deleted] ยท 3315 points ยท Posted at 15:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 575 points ยท Posted at 22:21:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can't we just fill up the reservoir with tap water?"
"Sure, but it would take a huge amount of power. Where could we get that much electricity?"
"Plug a power strip into itself?"
MelancholicAddiction ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:41:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza.
Burritozi11a ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:10:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We've gone around in a square
(Seriously though, I never expected to hear that song ever again)
Jim_Whiterat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if there's a subreddit dedicated to that song. There should be.
Arashirevenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:34 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frank teacher why they dont Just full whith TAP water flexรญvel muscles
Arlirica oh Frank Fuck me
quttro123 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:41:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Infinite power!
Sputniki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What on earth is a power strip?
HeyCasButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surge protector
Walleye72 ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 15:34:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay after reading about 100 of these, I legit laughed out loud at yours. Wife comes over and says what's so funny. Now she's laughing too. Thanks.
inprobitatem ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:28:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a major water shortage but we were just taking precaution this summer. Anyway my 21 year old friend takes a drink from his water bottle, and then empties it. I asked why, and he replied that since the water was from the bottom of the "big tank" it was old and didn't taste good.
This man has been on the dean's list every semester in university..
Jacket_screen ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:37:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't speak for your friends water tank but all the rubbish sinks to the bottom in the old water tanks, like dead possums, leaves, dead snakes etc.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:20:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xFEARFULDEMISE ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:27:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, five. Six tastes too gamey.
blueandroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:43 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what the acceptable amount is, but yes, there's an acceptable amount.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jacket_screen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:47:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh...I have been there, so beautiful, lovely people and it felt like home. Can't say I know much about tank water there though but.
The tanks with 'added vitamins' I assisted in discovering/recovering were in Tasmania and the big Victorian mountains (very low level hills to you).
What can I say? " 'Wildlife' finds a way". Might be different where you are.
ps: I did find Kamloops a tad on the lock the doors side at night.
abra24 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:13:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like from the toilet?
lifeslittlelunatic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:08:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ive heard an adult say that
ButtsexEurope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:59:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor kid never learned where Tap water comes from. It's a time to teach them about water treatment.
asteroidboy2011 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:48:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit I didn't even think of that. Maybe they should do that in California
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:02:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future president right there and he will start the War on Draughts.
Poptartking99 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:27:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Fuck. Me. At the end killed me
pricedgoods ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:54:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. Me... That's boys a genius. Edit: I've been informed it was a girl!
Splodgerydoo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:33:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good news, Africa! Turn on your sinks!
lulubuttersnips ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boy is wicked smaht.
purplehoneybadger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post makes me feel better about myself
Picsonly25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... you can....
fistymcbuttpuncher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something from a PandR town hall meeting.
hyacinthinlocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is Chavo del Ocho level of dumb
bigrom10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold on.. She may be on to something here
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ok class, the state is currently running a little low on water, so if you could all fill up as many empty milk jugs as you can when you get home, we'll take a field trip to the reservoir on Sunday to fill it up. This will also count as your community service."
zantosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a very legitimate question in the context of how a kid arrives at a logical conclusion. It shows how parenting makes a world of difference between well informed and ill informed people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well we can fill it with tears of the innocent.
Ran4 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's... completely legitimate. Many reservoirs aren't used anymore nowadays, but they can (and in some cases, are!) be used as a backup source of water.
Not sure why people think that this is stupid...
alexi_lupin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's stupid because there's shortage. Putting the water in a different place doesn't actually generate MORE WATER which is what is needed.
republiccommando1138 ยท 3023 points ยท Posted at 14:45:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How old was the average 18 year old in 1942?"
He then managed to forget he was wearing his own glasses and asked everybody where they were
Mikeman124 ยท 614 points ยท Posted at 20:52:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
20, give or take a couple years
AWebDeveloper ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 03:28:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take. Just take.
Sozin91 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 03:52:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that account for inflation?
AssholeNeighborVadim ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 23:22:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is not normal stupid, it is advanced stupid!
philophobya ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:10:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's that creative stupid
Seastep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin-level stupid.
AssholeNeighborVadim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:46:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this a reference to?
AmAShill ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:47:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin... probably should leave it at that, since it's past advanced stupid.
Studious_Gluteus ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 23:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Between 17 and 19 years old.
Serpardum ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:02:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Non inclusive
inno7 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:10:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say that
TangleF23 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 00:11:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's adjusted for inflation when you're saying it now, so...
Destroyer_101 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:52:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
good inflation is between 2-3% a year and there was 75 years so let's assume 2% so they are or 150% older, or about 47.
TangleF23 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:36:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can you also give me some basic facts about 1942 destroyers
Destroyer_101 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:41:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are old and did a poor job. May have been used in WWII. They destroyed things...assuming they worked.
demonballhandler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:29:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you give us some pointers for destroying?
Destroyer_101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well what would you like to destroy?
demonballhandler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My final papers for this semester. Or people who set off firecrackers.
Destroyer_101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to destroy the final papers you need to study and know what the topic/paper is about.
demonballhandler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:07:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know... I didn't do so well with strengthening my arguments last semester. Hoping to improve. It's hard to motivate myself to do anything or to keep focused; my psych is evaluating me for ADHD but I just gotta forge on regardless.
Procks1061 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:09:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess technically it would be ~18.5 since we refer to 18yo for the whole year. And it would shift slight depending on when people are born in the year.
inno7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:20:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, birthdays are not equally distributed and there is a peak (August). If course 1942 could have a different distribution. So if the general population of 18's are only born much later in the year, they might be slightly under 18.5 yo perhaps. http://www.panix.com/~murphy/bday.html
I guess, based on the actual births and ageing, people are constantly falling into and out of the 18 year old category. The actual answer is probably a moving average! Da bam!!
EcoSlaves ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:08:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love people like this. Turn it into a math problem and make the stupid guy right.
inno7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you love the internet for all this?
Pawprintjj ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:16:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
N-n-n-n-n-nineteen.
Vat1canCame0s ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:39:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, subtract 18 from 1942..."
Michael_o_Mara ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:12:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Gahddamn 47"
321dustybin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:27:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same age as the exceptional one.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
go away dad
fairwayks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:04:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What color is the White House?"
"What color is an orange?"
"When was the war of 1812?"
"Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?"
dancingengineer6 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:36:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. In college a friend of mine and I were walking to the cafeteria and we see a girl he liked ( he thought that another girl and her that looked very al similar were twins) so he decides to talk to this girl and says. Friend- Hi you and your twin are very pretty Girl- thanks, but I dont have a twin. Friend- Oh! So you are only one twin. Girl, girls friend and I- laugh at him hysterically.
Studious_Gluteus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:30:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they meant "how old in 1942, we're the people who are now 18?" then -57.
roflpwntnoob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who always wears glasses, it happens. But the age part is dumb as hell.
Manasmohapatra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12?
Mr. Garisson: "OK, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard."
PabloEnOregonEscobar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Average: compare to how 18 year olds role in society was back then
Skullpuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
42
ESE619 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh 18??
Hellguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who wears glasses all the time and is a perpetually tired pigeon.... I have been so tired that I have accused people of stealing my glasses even though I am wearing them... from being that exhausted.
Ya-Dikobraz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He must be referring to the difference in Earth's spin between then and now. And he was looking for his two glasses of gin that he saved up.
thatwasyiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bring him to a neurologist
CharizardBlaster6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much every 15 year old kid on the internet......wait
xXTurdleXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
18 and 1/2 years, because of how 18 covers anywhere from 18 to just under 19.
RemmiDaMix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:02 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he meant "if there were an 18 year old in 1942, how old would he be today?"
purduephotog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:11 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how much farm work he/she had done, and whether or not they were the eldest male of the family (as the father had enlisted) taking care of their younger brothers and sisters.
sharksnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:02 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given that so many were fighting in World War 2 then, it may be that the average 18 year old was dead in 1942.
PM_ME_YOUR_NACHOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well there are less of them because of the war, so... /s
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:46:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds more like phrasing a question wrongly instead of actually thinking a second. I don't think anyone would genuinely ask this.
heavenisAyran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S/he could had meant an average year of attaining maturity.
taitosmate ยท 3284 points ยท Posted at 14:29:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a classmate of mine asked if asia was a town in china, and, assuming that she was right, said that it was crazy that so many people from our school came from one town
___Roland___ ยท 840 points ยท Posted at 18:52:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was so wrong. Everyone knows Asia is an 80's rock band.
OPs_other_username ยท 281 points ยท Posted at 19:26:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, she was just answering in the heat of the moment.
Gardevoir_LvX ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:04:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, only time will tell if she figured it out.
LiquidSubtitles ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:15:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's going to have to wait for the final countdown.
jacoobz ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:42:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's in Europe bro, I think it's next to France.
taitosmate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's an meth addict now, so probably not
W0Hman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:51 on February 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just created a new account at work just to upvote this.
BamBreaker27 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:12:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "aren't you a little young to be from an 80's rock band?
Zurrkitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:31:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Yes she is.
jc1295 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No, that's Africa!"
Pachachacha ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:00:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I-I'm n-not ToTo-Totally sure thats t-t-true
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:39 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're probably thinking of Africa there...
Ginga-Ail1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does this remind me of that Asian kid rival drummer in "Scott Pilgrim"?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird I've been thinking about Scott Pilgrim this entire thread
greyjackal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto Boston and Europe.
IgiveWayTooMuch ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 19:48:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my college history class, there was a map of the world, and one girl asked what was on the other side of the map, was it just water?
flypstyx ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 20:29:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The wall, hopefully.
FiliaSecunda ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:42:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Secret passageway in a best-case scenario.
sienalock ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:13:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Secret passageway that leads to a sewer in a worst best-case scenario
fobsloveric ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:05:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flat earth proven.
PM_ME_YOUR_NACHOS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:25:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly thought this as a kid and wonder what's on the other side. Then someone told me that the map I was looking at have the Pacific Ocean smaller than it actually is, so is actually mostly ocean.
LeaLea17 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:28:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Australian and was in LA.. my convo with some guy went like this. Him "oh i love your accent, is it French?" Me "no.... no it's not. I'm from Australia." Him "....oh is that in Asia?"
PM_ME_YOUR_NACHOS ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:26:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, yes and no. Some would say.
prancingElephant ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:16:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was at a nearby tourist spot and there was a woman from Ireland there. A guy tried to hit on her by saying, "Wow, you speak really good English!" I jumped in super fast to try and undermine the "Americans are idiots" stereotype.
MattMakesPhotos ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:45:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get why youth in Asia is so controversial.
SnipingNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people don't want people to have the choice to have youth in Asia and others want to let people have that choice.
RickandSnorty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:58 on February 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The girl who ended up being ranked 2nd in my year argued with like five other kids in our AP class that Massachusetts was a city. We were all about 17 and lived in the northeastern US :(
I ended up being ranked 3rd so you can see how that might upset me
katiedid05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a special kind of stupid
jvanderh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's either really cute or horribly depressing, depending how old you were.
taitosmate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
14 :)))))
5cott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Georgia is in Florida, stupid.
bff124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 3rd grade I thought Asia was a country close to China.
MrAlpha0mega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:50 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a guy who thought Europe was in England. Same kinda thing. Except I live in a mostly European country and the Queen is our head of state, so he had no excuse to be that ignorant.
ddubs08 ยท 6333 points ยท Posted at 15:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 5 Sex Ed. I hade a rule that any question can be asked but I might ask you to ask your parents instead of me.
"I heard a story about a man who put his 'stuff' into muffins and fed it to grade 1 kids."
"Well... that is pretty digusting and I would think that person would go to jail for doing that"
"Wouldn't the girls get pregnant from eating it?"
And before I could say anything another student blurted out "NO!! They wouldn't get pregnant!! They haven't gone through puberty yet!!"
I am thankful for days when kids remind me that they are still kids :)
uncrew ยท 2019 points ยท Posted at 20:48:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in Grade 5 Sex Ed, we were allowed to write down our questions for privacy, and the teacher would read them aloud. Having just viewed an episode of Ally McBeal that included a transgender woman who still had a penis, my question became, "If a woman has a penis, does it work the same?"
I remember him opening up my question, staring at it, folding it up, and moving on.
bennitori ยท 694 points ยท Posted at 21:37:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the one hand, I understand why your question wasn't stupid. On the other hand, I'm not sure how else a relatively innocent 5th grader could've asked that without sounding dumb.
tastycat ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 21:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure how a teacher could answer it, or even read it, to a class of 5th graders without having way more questions come of it.
Ololic ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 23:27:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when it would be good to have a 1v1 meeting for students whose questions were skipped and they still want the answers for
Alsadius ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 23:35:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which would defeat the point of anonymity.
lovesickremix ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 00:12:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also for a horrible learning experience for other curious kids.
Tasgall ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:01:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But their questions weren't read...
I'm pretty sure the anonymity is to protect kids from each other, not so much the teachers.
Alsadius ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 01:06:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
50/50. I know that if I asked a sex question via an anonymous box at age 10, I'd be pretty freaked out if the teacher knew it was me, because I'd be freaked out if anyone knew it was me.
stingo5 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:11:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, my teachers got pretty good at recognizing the handwriting of students.
Alsadius ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:21:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but did you realize that in grade 5?
Unstable_Scarlet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:33:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've known it since Grade 2 or so... My handwriting is a joke.
stingo5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, fair point.
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:46:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easily fixed: "If I did not answer your question, you may meet with me after class."
If the student really wants to know, they can still ask, and they don't have to worry about their anonymity disappearing if they decide having no answer is better than confessing that they wrote the question.
EcoSlaves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If this was any other week than that one or two weeks you learn about sex Ed, a sex question box might be a little creepy.
path411 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:03:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, teachers talking about sex alone with a student. No way any smart teacher would risk their 30k a year for that nightmare.
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:58 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could almost guarantee there would be two teachers. Shit even when it was an entire class we had two teachers for sex ed.
robertbieber ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:27:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if it prompts that many questions then that's a sign that it's a good thing to be explaining. It would be nice if kids were taught more about human anatomy than just "boys have penises and girls have vaginas" and grown adults didn't have to constantly pester the first transgender person they encounter in life with awkward questions about their anatomy
Chaos_Therum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:55 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is most people never meet a transgender person they only make up around 0.05 percent of the population.
rackfocus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:02:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's too complicated just keep to the basics!!
Mr_Bubbles69 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 04:51:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, back in my day if I said a girl had a penis I'd be called a fucking idiot, but I guess times are changing...
ghroat ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 00:58:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this. Someone asked "if the river runs red should I take the dirt track instead". I laughed because everyone else did. Only just remembered this. Wtf we were like ten
Sefirot8 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 01:21:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it makes me sad for the kid who at that age not only had heard something like that but was able to put it into context.
now im thinking back to how I always got picked on merely because I was actually still pretty innocent at those ages.
pinktoenails29 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:44:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my friend asking me in like grade 5 if I was a virgin, so I was like "no!!!!", thinking it was something bad. Then a boy asked me who the lucky guy was. I tried to claim that I thought she asked if I was a violin, even though I had no idea what a virgin was.
goodweek ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:48:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was just cello because you were no longer a violin.
Technicolor-Panda ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:55:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 5th grade my daughter refused to eat bananas for lunch at school anymore. Ten year olds are sick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does that make you sad?
Sefirot8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because its possible he is being raised irresponsibly, or in a negative enviroment
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Likely some abuse there.
Sefirot8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:39:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i wouldnt jump to that conclusion
Kuminator26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the words of Captain Holt "Oh. Oh n-n... nooo"
whitebeard007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone explain this to me? I have no idea what this means
IciPourUnePlaisir ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:55:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... "If a girl's on her period
Should I go for anal?"
BoyAndHisBlob ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 00:36:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a anonymous box like that too. I wrote "Can I get pregnant from masturbating?" and signed my friends name.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:26:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 02:32:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if you're serious, guessing that you aren't.
But in case you are since there are lots of little kids on reddit, no, you can't. If you're a male you've got the sperm needed but no ovaries/eggs to fertilize, if you're a girl then you've got the eggs and ovaries but no sperm. You need both to fertilize and grow an egg into a person.
Edit: Made it clearer that the egg gets fertilized and grows in the ovaries, since the ovaries aren't something you fertilize.
granite_counter ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 02:42:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a good person.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:44:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks.
Kungfu_McNugget ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:03:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got a pretty username, too. That's my favorite Daft Punk song.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. Didn't know it was a Daft Punk song. I was going for the leaked Martin Garrix and Ed Sheeran song Rewind Repeat It, because the first thing I did when I made this new account was post a download link to what I'd managed to scrape together with the leak and an instrumental remake to make it into a high-ish quality sounding track while we wait for it to be released.
Kungfu_McNugget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. Well there's a Daft Punk song called Technologic. I thought it was a reference to that.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:34:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wondered if
one of those people who's born with a dick and a vaginaa hermaphrodite could find some way to knock themselves up and make a clone. That'd be cool.(btw not a kid, sex ed didn't really cover that stuff back when I was in school though)
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:42:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually don't know either but if I'm not mistaken most hermaphrodites either don't have balls or don't have ovaries. So they couldn't. Not sure if someone with a fully-functioning set of both could though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense, since the ovaries become testicles if its a dude they'd have to have two sets in order to have both. Never thought about it that way.
poechrisk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:00:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If this impossible phenomena interests you, you should read "The Bad Place" by Dean Koontz.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:43 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We don't even say hermaphrodite anymore; typically it's just "intersex" and most intersex people are NOT born with fully reproductive-capable sets of both organs. I... I don't even know if there's ever been a recorded case of that in human history.
Oh look: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_hermaphroditism
"Although fertility is possible in true hermaphrodites, there has yet to be a documented case where both gonadal tissues function, contrary to the misconception that hermaphrodites can impregnate themselves. As of 2010, there have been at least 11 reported cases of fertility in true hermaphrodite humans in the scientific literature"
i.e., most people who are intersex and have multiple organs aren't fertile in EITHER set.
General_Question ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In case you were curious, the preferred term is intersex person. Hermaphrodite is commonly considered a slur among intersex people.
There are several conditions that can lead to intersex characteristics, and the situation you're describing is incredibly uncommon in humans. Either way, as mentioned below, having a penis and/or a vagina doesn't determine fertility.
If you want to know more, I'd suggest checking out the Intersex Society of North America.
HeyCasButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say that in this context it wasn't being used as a slur and was necessary to distinguish it from other variation of intersexed individuals since hermaphrodite implies dual genitalia where intersexed does not.
General_Question ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When referring to humans, that term has a negative stigma and may be found offensive. If you aren't concerned about that, I'm not here to change your mind, so that's that.
However, what you're referring to is a recognized intersex condition. Squares are rectangles, not all rectangles are squares.
Some intersex conditions can cause what appears to be "dual" external genitalia, and some can cause the body to have both ovarian and testicular tissue, or ovotestes.
Edit: I don't believe that the OP intended it as a slur either, my clarification was for anyone who wasn't aware.
Mr_Bubbles69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:52:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My bigger question is how would a child even discover reddit. I was a man grown before I encountered this horrific place.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well by little kid I mean like around 10. Lots of their kind all over the internet, and reddit is a pretty large internet thing, mentioned a lot on YouTube and in some news articles and stuff.
icarusbright ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:14:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to know the answer to this question.
lurker10001000 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 23:25:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
looks at comment, staring at it, collapses it, and moves on
icarusbright ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:23:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 23:36:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If she's on hormones, then maintaining erections is usually more difficult and sometimes it will decrease in size. Some trans women also feel more sensitive down there afterward.
icarusbright ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:22:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! I always wondered if being on HRT would affect things like that. TIL.
Propyl_People_Ether ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:12:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HRT with androgen blockers can also cause sterility (temporarily or permanently depending on the individual, their body chemistry and other factors). Generally trans women of my acquaintance tend to find their apparatus responds more like a clit, in some ways. Some use viagra or similar if they want to engage in particular kinds of sex.
AllieHugs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:02:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ejaculations don't happen anymore either, and orgasms become more intense and full body, at least in my experience.
hasafewbuckstospare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:28 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have further questions /r/asktransgender should be kind to you if you're respectful. Or, while I'm a trans man not a trans woman, I could probably tell you specifically what to Google to sate your curiosity.
icarusbright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:03 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll keep it in mind, thank you for the offer!
FractalHollyChick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I answered it in a part of the comments
Originofplatypus ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:15:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dying laughing imagining your teacher trying to figure out what you meant by that.
Cdnteacher92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had the same thing, and I can't remember if the question was asked thru the box where we out written questions or if an 11 year old boy just blurted it out, but the one that always sticks out for me was "when a girl has her period does she have to put a tampon in all three holes?" As a woman, damn that would get expensive...
FractalHollyChick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:53:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can reply since I'm a transgender woman who still has her penis. It depends on the woman. Some trans women it works roughly the same, others it stays limp and doesn't ejaculare; it can also be somewhere in between. Mine is more sensitive to light caresses and licks but it's no longer responsive to penetration. I still get hard but not nearly as hard before hormone replacement therapy and I've lost about an an inch in length. I stopped ejaculating a year ago but still have pretty good orgasms. My breasts are sensitive and a must for use during sex and the rest of my body has gotten more sensitive. I need a ton of foreplay now days and back rubs really get me going.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, our whole class used that opportunity to mess with the teacher
youaremom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They did this for our 4th grade sex ed. The anonymity didn't work out because only one kid even asked a question.
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If someone wasn't thinking of trans their first thought would probably be "women don't have penises"
DirectlyTalkingToYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"These are the important issues and the reason we need to open up a dialogue..."
Kerplode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funniest thing I've heard all day! :)
Sibraxlis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iirc the hormones they take make it not work
TransgenderPride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He probably didn't know. Some of the most common questions I get are about whether I can still have kids, about arousal, and that area in general.
Bacon_Bacon_Pancakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did the anonymous question thing in my Sex Ed class too. I wrote down about 10 questions, all stupid, I'm sure.
But the only one I remember was, "Can sperm live in your teeth after oral sex?"
ImJosephStalinAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During sex ed in Intermediate (Middle School) my school also allowed us to write down questions for privacy. The teacher read out a question and said to the whole class "Hey this looks like [friends name]'s hand writing!" For the rest of the year everyone thought he was gay.
ilicktulips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it?
nikkitgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If anyone is curious, after hormones not really. It gets softer, stops having random erections, gets much more difficult to have erections, typically shrinks, produces much less ejaculate, the ejaculate typically doesn't contain sperm and if it does it's in a drastically smaller amount, sometimes excretes fluid during arousal, typically gets more sensitive, but more difficult to bring to orgasm, and orgasms become more of a full body situation. In short, it basically becomes a vagina in the shame of a penis.
widermind ยท 606 points ยท Posted at 19:04:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
who the hell told him that story?
edit: this is now my highest upvoted comment. wut? O_o
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 19:43:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 21:53:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They still fired him, right? The "strength of the union" is that an innocent person doesn't unjustly lose their livelihood in the event of a hoax. They took the time to look at the facts first, THEN they fired him.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:14:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a long time. If there weren't specific legal reasons it took that long to terminate him (like requiring a conviction), that's probably a weakness of the union. They still gotta cover their asses before they succumb to public outrage, or they'll end up with even bigger problems.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jahkral ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:16:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright fuck it I'm becoming a hs teacher after grad school I need that kind of life security.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:24:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck not going to prison though.
Jahkral ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:43:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You seem to be misunderstanding my intentions regarding 'job security'
masterpcface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good guy union
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was he a professor in?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ololic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I think I misread it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lovely
Alsadius ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:34:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think that, and to be fair it works that way sometimes. Not always. My dad had a co-worker once who was caught stealing tens of thousands in company supplies(totally random shit too, like he had five chainsaws), and when the company went to fire him the union stepped in and demanded that he be convicted of theft first. So he did a plea bargain down to possession of stolen goods, and since he wasn't actually ever convicted of theft, he got to keep his job.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:24:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would you find out someone had done that?
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:34:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xFEARFULDEMISE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So messed up. Imagine if that CVS worker didn't say anything, he probably would have gotten away with more stuff.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:04 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...creating evidence was pretty dumb of him. Lucky for future students though
JAproofrok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but ...... how many kids got pregnant at that school on LA County!?
Stealthy_Totoro ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 19:17:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His uncle.
RetroNin2500 ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 20:17:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said who told him not who did it
Stealthy_Totoro ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:23:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a fair point.
Ololic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:23:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like something like that would have them be different people
masheduppotato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some stories just come from the source.
G8kpr ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After he offered him a muffin.
Raskol57 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:04:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His uncle was the muffin man?
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The muffin man?
darkenedzone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know the muffin man?
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I know the muffin man. The one who lives on Drury Lane?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtube. That's where I first heard about it.
Pit-trout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another kid, very possibly. Kids love to make up "gross" stories to scare each other, and they often don't have the context to know the difference between "plausibly mildly gross" and "unlikely but a felony if true".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was in the news a few years ago I tgink
SerNapalm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The news? He was a teacher and i think it was cookies but hey he wasnt my teacher
MediocreProstitute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
SoonerBeerSnob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably other 5th graders.
Ebonic_Plague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone with poor enough judgment to tell kids really perverted shit, but with good enough judgment to not call it "splooge"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know the muffin man?
MaimedJester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An older brother. It's always an older brother.
iheartcookin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably based on a story that was in the news here in California about a teacher who feed his kids cookies with semen on them and took photos. Apparently whenever the administrators got wind of it they'd just move him to another school so the thing became an big scandal.
Nukabot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably older brother/other students who are a grade or two up.
Madmagican- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The muffin stuffer
benaugustine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The 6th graders
vlasvilneous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit.
heberjointgrant ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:12:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is my favorite.
quidam08 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:20:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"muffin"
AweBlobfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes you american
Scrapbookee ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:48:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5th grade!? Wow, and I thought 7th grade was really early for sex ed. That's when I had it.
But that's a pretty funny question. Next time I have a muffin I'm going to have a good chuckle remembering this.
Focus62 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 23:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't have a "puberty" talk in 5th grade? We did. They separated the girls from the boys into different rooms. Wasn't really sex ed so much as about our "changing bodies." shudder
5h3z ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:40:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, us too (UK equivalent). Us girls had to watch a video of a woman giving birth. Vag and everything. We were all almost sick.
Scrapbookee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:43:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a Child Development class in college and we had to watch a video of birth. Class ranged from people fresh out of high school to a few 50+ folks. It was so hard to not laugh at all the people being grossed out.
Mind you I didn't enjoy watching it, but my mom was a labor and delivery nurse for around 42 years. I knew far more about childbirth by the time I was 10 than I ever needed to know.
missmurphtang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:46:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watched that video and was sick in a bin, and then was allowed to go and have a lie down in the nurses office. The image is still burnt into my brain and made me terrified of ever getting pregnant.
Also we had mixed sex ed, so the boys had to watch it too. Good. If I have to watch that disgusting "miracle" so do you
Focus62 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds horrible.
Scrapbookee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I guess we did, I just don't remember much. The school nurse (who was also my mom, fucking joy!) I think talked to the girls about puberty.
I don't remember it well, but I sure remember the torture I endured because my mom was the school nurse. Not sure why that was so funny to everyone.
I thought you meant like, full on sex ed in 5th grade, that's why I was shocked!
Focus62 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I'm not OP of this comment thread. Haha, but yeah I think it's pretty common to at least have the puberty talk in that grade.
Scrapbookee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had forgotten mine until you mentioned the puberty talk. I just don't think of puberty talk as sex ed I guess, so that's why it was shocking originally.
teaparties-tornados ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had "full on" sex ed in 5th I guess, like the main point was about puberty but we definitely also learned what intercourse was and how babies are made with sperm and eggs. I mean we didn't get into the things we did in 8th grade health, but still actual sex ed.
Scrapbookee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think my school is just weird. And really, I'm sure lots of kids need to have sex education earlier than 7th grade.
elphaba61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our school system has them watch the video about their own changing bodies in 4th grade and in 5th grade they learn about theirs and the opposite sex as well. I personally learned about it in 3rd grade girl scouts but that was probably because our leader was an OB nurse.
CoogleGhrome ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:25:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I basically had some degree of sex ed in my "health" classes during every year beginning in 6th grade, ending in 9th grade.
Scrapbookee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my sex ed was included in the mandatory "health" class in 7th grade. I don't remember really anything from it, but I mean it was a long time ago.
My mom is a nurse so I learned things from her, and my doctor taught me about STDs by showing my pictures. Not pleasant.
Dont____Panic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... third of my friends lost their virginity in grade 7 or 8, so that sounds like a terrible idea.
Scrapbookee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it is a bad idea to have sex ed in 7th grade. I know that a lot of people have sex in those grades, so teaching it earlier would be better. Think my school was just backwards.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:07:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The vast majority of people don't have any kind of sexual interaction until late high school. Your friends were a very small minority.
mohankatie17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's a teacher she said someone once asked her who invented the dog lol
paryz17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've read that like:
It made me laugh, maybe because I'm 20, or maybe because I'm still an idiot myself xD
Nullifix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what the hell why would you trust their parents to tell them the truth? You need to answer the question for them.
ghostpeppermeme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a dumb rule. Some kids aren't comfortable talking about sex with their parents but would confidently and maturely ask a question to the teacher.
SpaghettiButterfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know the muffin man?
stereophony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still remember going through fifth grade sex ed and my friend asked, "if you're pregnant and don't pump or breastfeed, will your boobs explode?" Feel kinda bad we all laughed but the girl was a good sport who was often the class airhead in a cute way.
HeyGuysImJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I specifically remember getting made fun of for asking a similar question: "Can girls get pregnant in the butt?"
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, they're not wrong. You can't get pregnant if you haven't gone through puberty, as in, get your period.
Also, was this class recent? Because that story came out a few weeks ago.
ddrmagic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl ask
"Miss, can girls taste through their vagina?"
"No billy (not actually billy), they can't."
"then why do they make flavoured condoms?"
Awkward silence ensured before the teacher started to explain what sucking dick was.
pazpaz26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In our sex Ed class there was a girl who said that her mother gave her breast exams and that her mother was concerned because, and I quote, "one of my boobs felt like stale bread."
This girl had a lot of developmental issues, so I don't know if she was telling the truth, but looking back I think she was abused.
robbierottenisbae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys did Sex Ed class in 5th grade? That's so young, 5th graders don't need to be learning about that shit yet. I didn't take it until middle school
AngeloMonharti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can mr fantastic stretch his penis to be huge, or would the blood required to do so give him a heart attack?
awweaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the fuck? Mine was in like...8th grade (12-13)
theOTHERdimension ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft my Sex Ed class in 5th grade limited our questions to one question per student. I had no problem asking questions so the other kids would ask me to ask the question for them. After two questions the teacher said I wasn't allowed to ask any more and the other kids were too shy so nobody learned anything. I hated my school.
bfshirley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:56 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who was doing our sex ed in 5th grade had us write down questions on little slips of paper and said there were no stupid questions. The first one he opened, looked at for a second, and then threw across the room at the trashcan and said we should go play kickball.
andrewb2257 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a winner! Wife teaches 5th grade, the stuff they say...
LeatherRedShoes ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate you.
durance84 ยท 1849 points ยท Posted at 14:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is the teacher, but this is my favorite story of hers. They were discussing how native americans relied on hunting buffalo and used all parts of it for food, clothing, shelter, etc. In reference to how they used the buffalo for shelter, one student asked "So do they stack the buffalo on top of each other?"
GaimanitePkat ยท 957 points ยท Posted at 16:12:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buffalego
djbadname13 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 22:55:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always preferred the Megabuffalocksยฉ for building large structures.
Unusualmann ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:03:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Traitor
with_MIND_BULLETS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Buffalego fuckin' Wine Mixer!
howzat99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer buffaigloo
TheAmazinManateeMan ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:42:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We use to stack buff's like you five feet high.... Use 'em for sandbags.
bustahemo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:49:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Silly boy, It is buffalo all the way up.
notorious_NAP ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:09:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am CRYING laughing. I am a second grade teacher and (assuming I stay in this grade and/or continue to teach this), I will never forget this as long as I live.
seebasschan ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:37:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*bison
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 20:05:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that is what the daddy buffalo said to his son on his first day of school.
seebasschan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:14:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You win
flypstyx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:29:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dad?
LCHA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:31:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
**tatonka
banter_claus_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:21 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cri evrytim :'(
TotalWalrus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:29:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biggest lie ever told about the aboriginals in Canada
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:41:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah.. Didn't they use to steer entire hoards off cliffs and then use like a dozen of them and let the rest rot away?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:54:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how you stack them.
TotalWalrus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! Like orcas with grey whales.
handlebartender ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:15:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This would make a fantastic Far Side cartoon.
JayGrrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:43 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Token native checking in. Can verify.
Otherwise, in time of scarcity, we just made a lean-to and threw a tarp over for the perfect shelter.
RakeattheGates ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:54 on February 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They built Buffalog cabins
blondebrowncoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This make me so happy
JaxThePillow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is an amazing mental picture.
NotoriousRetard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Elipsis_ ยท 3589 points ยท Posted at 15:36:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught English/Literature in a Juvenile Justice long term treatment facility. I have many great stories.
Me: This is a map of the United States. Here is the midwest--it's where your math teacher is from. Student: Oh snap. We're in a war with them. Me: Are you thinking about the middle east? Student: Oh yeah, is that a different place?
Me: (Playing a trivia game with students) Johannes Gutenberg invented what? Student: (Shoots his hand up in the air quickly before I even finished the question and very sure of his answer) Cheese!
Student: (Reading the three little pigs out loud)And the big bad wolf huffed and he puffed...and he passed it around Me: I've never heard of that version of the story before Mr. Student Student: You wouldn't, Mr. Ellipsis_, it's the hood version
DelEast ยท 905 points ยท Posted at 20:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I want the hood version of all classical tales. Where should I subscribe? Surely there must be a subreddit for that.
stevoblunt83 ยท 197 points ยท Posted at 21:42:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a guy on YouTube that does gangster readings of classic literature. I laughed my ass off when he did a hood analysis on Kafka.
Jordaneer ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 22:06:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
[deleted] ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 22:23:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of Wisecrack's original series, Thug Notes. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLghL9V9QTN0jTgA1qrhWrBCB_Ln4xlVlB
gino188 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:54:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit. the retlling and analysis of Merchant of Venice even non literary ppl like me can get it
JeIIyDM ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:50:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All of thug notes's stuff is legit literary analysis, but gangster af. How ironic look at me i can literature
Pachachacha ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:02:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
legit lol'ed at this
breadplane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you can't just not give us a link!
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:40 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yo dawg, one day my homie Gregor Samsa, you know him, he never be slangin' - he woke up and he freaked the fuck OUT, 'cause he been turnt inna a big, nasty-ass cockroach!
(My AAEV is lacking tho)
CruelCrow ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:15:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Thugly Duckling
kldelaney ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:07:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had my 9th grade students rewrite classic fairy tales in a new setting, and one wrote about Lil Red, riding in the hood.
laeiryn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:09:29 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 11th graders just did a thing about one of the pigs from the Three Little Pigs and had him break El Chapo out of jail.
I feel like we should collect these tales...
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:09:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ice Cube made a song about it, actually
whyisthis_soHard ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:03:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snoop dogg's next special: Hood Tales
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to post that to the writing prompt sub.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:04 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The little train engine that literally couldn't even
Morphie12121 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:09:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have subscribed to Cat Facts!
Yawehg ยท 1154 points ยท Posted at 20:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious.
Sir_Llama ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:23:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a story the educators would tell you...
zeevlewis ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:16:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an ancient student legend.
GokuMoto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lord Dogg was so Power and so Wise
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:02 on February 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love it, tho it did take me a second to get it:)
Ulkhak47 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 21:08:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, Gutenberg does sort of sound like a high-end cheese.
rudifer_jones ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:42:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they were thinking of Jarlsberg?
Ulkhak47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jarlsberg + Camembert + Guggisberg.
natt101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:19 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOT IN THE MOOD FOR CHEEESE?
Stealthy_Totoro ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 19:35:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Fucking Christ.
Horsedock ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 20:59:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me you gave that kid a cookie because thats fucking funny.
StudntRdyTeachrApear ยท -50 points ยท Posted at 22:09:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yea, hood and weed culture is soooo good lol
mcandhp ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:32:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there any explanation for the sarcasm?
StudntRdyTeachrApear ยท -30 points ยท Posted at 23:08:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao are you serious?
mcandhp ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:13:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's why I asked.
dewymeg ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 23:37:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't reward a kid in fuckin' juvie for talking about smoking weed. This should not have to be explained.
vondafkossum ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:35:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you're rewarding them for being able to convey the dichotomy (e.g. the distance between the instructor and student experience and understanding) of this particular class division in a topical joke.
dewymeg ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 01:11:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You've grasped that people are different, here's a cookie!" O_o
vondafkossum ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:02:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the how and why and to what extent are the important bits here--and that kid nailed them.
dewymeg ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of the day it's still the kind of behavior that likely got the kid in juvie in the first place, and therefore, behavior that juvie isn't going to go around rewarding.
vondafkossum ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:04:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I checked, kids don't get put in juvie for noting social differences in groups and making jokes about it, but okay.
dewymeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:41 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I meant smoking weed, and you're being deliberately obtuse
vondafkossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:40 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really; the conversation was about his comments. You made the assumption about why he was in juvie, not me.
dewymeg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:54:51 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Annnnnnd the obtuseness continues
FlamingFlat ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:06:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
imma huff imma puff, an im finna blow dat ass in, ya dig?
Naivy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:42:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down there Sheogorath Jr.
Iksuda ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:40:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That last kid is just clever af.
youngqueef ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:50:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the second student's defense, Gutenberg could sound like gouda, especially if he cut you off
gkiltz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:18:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he kept some sense of humor!
ashwinr136 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:28:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We're going to build a wall around the Midwest, a great wall, and it's gonna be YUGE. They're bringing in snow, they're bringing in corn, they're bringing in politeness, and weird accents. I love those Minnesotans, believe me, nobody has more love for the Minnesotans than I do. But we need a wall, and we need it BIGLY."
mamacrocker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:30:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds both very difficult and very rewarding. How long did you teach there?
ButtsexEurope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:51:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anchorman actually made a joke about that. Brick is doing the weather and then says there will be showers in the Middle East (he meant mideast, as in, New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Delaware.)
noaddress ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how you misspelled your own username ;)
Sky_Light ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, at least he's not talking to the president...
PM_ME_UR_REDDIT_GOLD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
worked in the justice system alright.
eyebellel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YASSSSSSS. Love those kids.
JarJar-PhantomMenace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is sad. They're already screwed.
SteampunkSamurai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused about the Gutenberg one. Was the kid thinking of Limburger cheese?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe mixing up Gouda and Jarlsberg?
ancientteapot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that sound sick. I ain't even mad
Jelese111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That last one got me. I need hood storybook tales.
gino188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
love the hood version!
RakeattheGates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:32 on February 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows Steve Guttenberg invented cheese.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:01 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Puff puff pass, that's the rule!
mamaisinhere ยท 23473 points ยท Posted at 15:15:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student ask me "What are those pyramid-shaped things in egypt called?"
Never seen a class laugh that hard before.
strychnineman ยท 8323 points ยท Posted at 18:46:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my wife worked with a woman in the senate (they were staffers, a long time ago, just out of college). she (not my wife!) said "The Pentagon? ...isn't that the hexagon shaped building?"
CaptRory ยท 3344 points ยท Posted at 20:08:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair that would confuse the hell out of anyone planning an attack. "Sir, we can't find the Pentagon; there's just this big Hexagon." "Well keep looking dammit! It has to be there somewhere!"
Enjolras1781 ยท 268 points ยท Posted at 22:46:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
C'mon, we're burp going to the pentagon. Well, not the pentagon, the boring one. In Washington.
Hiding_behind_you ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 00:25:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a reference to Thingy & The Other One... you know, the kid and the crazy drunk dude.
whatWHYok ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 00:39:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Season 3 angst is leaking to other subreddits.
King_of_Modesty ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:53:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But Justin Roland said no one is asking him :(
https://twitter.com/JustinRoiland/status/807059324002414592
kilkil ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:36:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT JUSTIN
smegma_legs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:04:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine a giant Roland keyboard
megalodon90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's time to ask him. Repeatedly. Possibly exessively.
Myenemysenemy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:46:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*here on earth
Zack123456201 ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 22:31:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We shoulda named it the Decahedron, then it would REALLY confuse people
FattyMooseknuckle ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 23:31:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
D'oh-decahedron
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:41 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But a hedron is a 3D structure, while a polygon is 2D...
river4823 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 22:44:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same way the navy has a tenth fleet, even though there are only six numbered fleets.
HR7-Q ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:10:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
278th Signal Co, 25th Signal Bn, 160th Signal Bde.
There are not 160 signal brigades. Nor are there 278 signal companies. There might be 25 signal battalions in the whole Army, but I doubt it.
There is also a 550th Signal Company within that same Bn. Only 3 total companies, though.
Velkyn01 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:40:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just like there's no 100th Airborne Division or a 102nd, but there is a 101st.
FrisianDude ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but why
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 23:49:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SEND_STEAK_PLEASE ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 00:18:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that's pretty apparent nowadays from wikipedia. What they really should do to hide their numbers is send all the planes in a straight line, like the mongols
alonghardlook ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 00:40:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the Tusken Raiders
Islandkid679 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the Mameluke Camel Cavalry in Civ 5.
TheyDeserveIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:34 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or those damned invading sheep when I'm trying to get to sleep. It's a solid tactic.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:48 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Revalent Wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_tank_problem
b-doggiedog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:30:47 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its based on the numbers from other units. Cant have a 100th infantry and a 100th transportation. The 100th in the U.S. army is a supply company. Its so if someone knows the company\unit number but not the job designator for that unit it can still be tracked down.
ahaara ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:48:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because
Velkyn01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure at first it was a tactic to keep our numbers and units secret. My example might not have been the best, as another person noted that those units drew down after the war and we're not reactivated. Also, the army is a giant clusterfuck. "If even we don't know what we're doing, then the enemy certainly can't anticipate our next move."
noobaddition ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first hundred companies were defeated in battle
FrisianDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP (;_;)7
brickmack ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:40:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The 501st legion was also not the 501st, the Grand Army of the Republic only had 320 legions (yet another of Lucas's fuckups, a 3x106 man army isn't gonna cut it in a galaxy with 1017 residents. The man had no sense of scale)
thisisnewaccount ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:51:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One clone can easily kill a trillion enemies.
AlmennDulnefni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By lunch.
udontknowme51 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:48:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the 82nd
Velkyn01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dirty leg, I always forget the 82nd.
El_Chupanebre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But there was a 100th and a 102nd division at one point. We just kept the 101st around during the post WW2 drawdowns because of its role and history.
space_keeper ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:18:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that your hypothetical attackers speak exactly like dramatically frustrated Americans. The only thing missing is someone being called "Johnson" and someone saying "Get me the joint chiefs!".
BobatSpears ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:01:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spaceballs instantly comes to mind. "Comb the land"
Surroundedbygoalies ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:13:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably my favourite movie of all time!
Comb the desert! Did you find anything?
We ain't found shit!!
megalodon90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the black stormtrooper is using an afro pick.
caleb1021 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:02 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are the ones that say we ain't found shit
UrungusAmongUs ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:36:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it's a... pentagon?
john2kxx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:11:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is, isn't it? Now I'm getting confused.
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke.
LordCharco_iii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:51:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Get me on to the Pentagon, right now!"
"But sir..."
"What is it, soldier?"
"We... Can't find it. The Pentagon has disappeared."
"I see. There's only one thing we can do then."
"Sir, you don't mean..."
"Yes. Call..."
The Hexagon
canarchist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the sides is classified, we don't talk about that side.
zdakat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iirc there's a time they got Casa Blanca(the place) and the U.S. White House mixed up,they assumed it was a translation thing
SmoobBlob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weren't the nuclear codes super simple during the cold war?
CaptRory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a string of 0's if I recall correctly.
subignition ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they call it that 'cause it's missing the fourth wall?
Charishard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:46 on February 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody broke it down?
Project2r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Genius. We should repaint the white house blue.
"Sam, we're looking for the White House, but the address you gave us was just this big blue house."
"Toby, just keep looking...It has to be there somewhere!"
xmobileslayerx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:19:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But a hexagon has six sides. I'm confused
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:38:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are you confused about? That's the joke.
xmobileslayerx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to go read through it again to get it! Now I feel stupid for not seeing it lmao.
cuddlegod ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:03:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, lol, lololLOOOOKLL, HEHEHE KKAKAHAAA
shawarma_law ยท 205 points ยท Posted at 19:09:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how it felt to work with Palpatine.
SpudTheSpartan ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 19:19:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Palpatine isn't in the senate. He IS the senate
johncharityspring ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:27:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relax! It's Palmolive!
SpudTheSpartan ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:33:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Treason, then
That-Reddit-Guy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:50:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/PrequelMemes
FrayedKnot1961 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're soaking in it.
Ol_Dirty_Senpai ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:49:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[Evil luagh] shoots lightning from fingertips
Drewf0 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 19:54:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please fix the spelling it's killing me...
EngelbertHerpaderp ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 19:57:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
luaghing intensifies
lesser_panjandrum ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:14:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UNLIMITED LUAGHING
intothemidwest ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:29:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Laugh = hahaha
Luagh = muahaha
They're different things.
Drewf0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why do you need to change the laugh spelling when he already put evil. I believe the adjective tells you the style of laugh, you don't need to change it even more.
froggerk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:08:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if it works as a double negative, cancelling out the 'evil', or if it just means 'extra evil'
Drewf0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Extra level of evil? Is this Super Saiyan 2?!?!?! Huehuehue
Merishone123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I learned something today.
intothemidwest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doin' what I can. Fake linguistics will take you places.
SpudTheSpartan ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:09:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UNLIMITED
SpudTheSpartan ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:09:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
POWEEEEER
dodslaser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise?
SpudTheSpartan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a story the Jedi would tell you
ReginaldThatchery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So was he married to Palpatine or did his wife work inside Palpatine?
JanJonDijonMustard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate sand...
pf2- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/PrequelMemes
-Badger2- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not. Yet.
53bvo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/prequelmemes
-Avatar-Korra- ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:55:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Prequelmemes is leaking
tstehler1 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:10:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
do it
SwoleInOne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:13:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise?
-Avatar-Korra- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No?
SwoleInOne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
easy, you just start drinking hard alcohol to numb the pain. at work.
salamenceftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you, have you ever heard Tragedy of Darth Plagueis: The Wise?
salamenceftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you, have you ever heard Tragedy of Darth Plagueis: The Wise?
whiiskeypapii ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:53:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Facepalm
Dick-fore ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:48:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Facepalmagon
Pavotine ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:58:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Facepalmageddon
GenrlWashington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that movie
hated_in_the_nation ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:34:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something straight out of Veep.
Musclemagic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:19:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Close!!
DickIomat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.......
benaugustine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What an idiot! Doesn't she know that the adjective form is hexagonal?
kingeryck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they week for Ben Carson?
kalabash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To her credit, accidentally making a six-sided pentagon sounds like something the government would do.
Rapturesjoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does she work for Trump?
iWizardB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. The woman didn't know what a hexagon looks like?
tuxcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhh, the 6th side is Top Secret.
ThegreatPee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That lady is probably a Cabinet Member now.
Beasty_Glanglemutton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This probably belongs more in the Childhood Embarrassment meme, but I remember asking my brother when the 4th of July was. In my defense I was very young.
Cantcallit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's twin sister asked "how the hell do people drive with those sunshade things up?" You know, the silver things you put up when ur cars parked?
BayushiKazemi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend of mine refer to pentagrams as pentagons before, we were quite amused once we figured out what he meant
TOXRA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your punctuation and capitalization choices are baffling.
aelric22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like she needed to be put back into elementary school.
pondlife78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too divide women into the categories of either 'my wife' or 'not my wife'.
strychnineman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, just wanted to be clear, my wife was NOT the one who made the gaffe. ;)
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That's classified"
Makeshiftjoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ho lee shit lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it was gonna be The Hexagon, but we only had the budget for 5 walls...
mildlyEducational ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on now. You make her look so bad, but maybe you're leaving out another side of the story?
(I'm sorry, I could not find a better way to make this joke work, but I could not just let it go. I hate myself)
strychnineman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You made me read that thinking you were serious. Then I got to 'another 'side'.
Since I can't slap you across the internet, you must go stand in a corner!
mildlyEducational ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But is the corner I'm standing in 60 degrees or 72 degrees? Because either temperature is fine.
( Frustrating semi-geometry reference for you. Slap is accepted )
strychnineman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The corner must be 90 degrees or it doesnt count
eonaxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG. I have always read it as "The Pentagram." TIL I'm a 42 year old stupid high schooler.
edit: I've always PRONOUNCED it as "The Pentagon" but I was thinking about it as a "pentagram."
Waveseeker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, not The Pentagon.
The lame one here on earth.
Raincoats_George ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok! In college a very attractive blonde girl came to visit my roommate one weekend. She told us how she was interning at Fox news and how great it was. Over the weekend I came to discover how when you make jokes about dumb blondes and everyone laughs and it's kind of just a thing nobody takes seriously.. No. She was actually retarded. And now we know she might as well have been shaping major government policy! Hooray!
ballsandglue ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 19:37:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not funny that's actually pretty sad. America education in a nutshell
morningride2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny
wendigobass ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:47:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: they do actually teach that the pentagon and hexagon are two different shapes in American (elementary) school systems. Shocking, I know!
deception_lies ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:41:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Making conclusions about a system based on one sample might be sadder, though.
InFearn0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should probably have waited a few more anecdotes before dropping that one.
deception_lies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I observed one individual and commented on the individual.
/u/ballsandglue observed one individual and commented on the (inferred) state of the entire US education.
See the difference?
PAYPAL_ME_UR_MONEY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with him. It's something we don't use every day. I had to look it up. I would have to think about it for a few minutes before it would click. And I don't prefer keeping the Pentagon as my desktop background either. So that wasn't a stupid question.
InFearn0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't make me explain the joke.
PAYPAL_ME_UR_MONEY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain the joke. I didn't even recognize that there was one.
InFearn0 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/deception_lies was teasing someone for using an anecdote to form a judgment on education standards.
I was implying /u/deception_lies's comment was itself a judgment formed on an anecdote (doing the same thing).
PAYPAL_ME_UR_MONEY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Oh well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately it's a statistic; several surveys were made as well as Canadian shows going south and sharing idiotic tibdits while being readily believed by locals... I mean we do not have polar bear problems in the cities nor live in iglooss...
PM_ME_YOUR_DOOM ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:05:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The woman worked in the senate... and didn't have much knowledge of the pentagon, let alone that it's named after the shape being a pentagon? I'm pretty skeptical about that...
Muffinhead94 ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 18:48:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the green guy in Shrek called?
LivingDeadGuuurl ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 18:52:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fiona
sendersforfun ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilers much /s
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:53:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ahrre ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:42:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey now
thecramp_8 ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 18:30:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are the things in Gremlins called?
locomotionLotion ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 18:52:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mogwai
Jth20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happens if I feed them too much?
locomotionLotion ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:58:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More-gwai
Brohanwashere ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:56:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'll have to Take Me Somewhere Nice
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:52:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When your rich you get to be eccentric but when you're poor like me you're crazy.
sabasco_tauce ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's the protagonist of Harry Potter?
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:58:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are those round, orange fruits called?
SpawnTheTerminator ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:00:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many World Wars were there before World War II?
denvit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many years are in a day?
actual_factual_bear ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:15:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0.00273790926
SpawnTheTerminator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually kind of a legit question and 1/365.
denvit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if it's a leap year?
SpawnTheTerminator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then that's 1/366th of a day.
denvit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That means that both of your answers are incorrect, the correct answer is 1/365.2422
washichiisai ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:22:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tangerines, persimmons, kumquats, apricots, peaches .....
quidam08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dirigible Fruit
ConfessionsAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grapefruits?
FullmentalFiction ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:59:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neville Longbottom
actual_factual_bear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lord Voldemort
limedilatation ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:54:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PLAY A RECORD
cadab ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:04:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're talking shite!
ElolvastamEzt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:46:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found Karl.
zaphod_beeble_bro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend asked "what are those giant things that attack the city in attack on titan called again??"
"Uh... Titans?"
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Junk!!!
I knew someone who had a Gremlin.
Didn't have a single part on it I would want on my car
bobalon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:01:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mogwai?
cirona ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 18:28:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was asking for the actual name of each pyramid (Menkaure, Khafre, Khufu)
killkode345 ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 18:46:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you are too optimistic
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 18:49:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was probably looking for the word for their function, like "tomb" or "grain silo".
Moses_Brown ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:52:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, I had almost forgotten Ben Carson said that.
NateNMaxsRobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IKR? Wish I was.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:52:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then he would've said "what are those pyramids called?"
Killgore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he did.
Mizhaboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I though you were wrong with the names but as it turns out, the names in spanish change radically: Keops, Kefren and Micerino.
chrdf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looked them up in Norwegian as well. Kheops, Khefren and Mankaura, quite similar.
FairyOfTheStars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until this comment I literally had no idea they were named. o___o
Hates_escalators ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 17:59:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tetrahedrons.
_lord_kinbote_ ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 19:01:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pentahedrons. Pyramids in Egypt have a square base, so five faces in all.
1980sumthing ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:06:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually one in giza have 8+1 sides then.. https://www.google.com/search?q=pyramids+8+sides
OnyxMelon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:27:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it's an enneahedron.
Hates_escalators ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ennuihedron. :)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:33:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT.
Is this why Mythbusters pyramid didn't keep that razor blade sharp, wrong shape?
Erpp8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly.
Hates_escalators ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:06:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, that. I forgot.
Hates_escalators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It might just be that I'm dumb, or that the first time I watched the movie two days ago, but I just realized that the Tet in Oblivion is called that because it's a tetrahedron.
MyBoggartIsABoggart ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:54:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
boi crackin o chem jokes ๐๐
Hates_escalators ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:55:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or geometry...
futterbingerr ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:45:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rock tents
oishhh ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:46:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that is something taken to the grave. a meme among students if you will.
Ronald_McBoogerbutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor kid probably fears asking questions after that because of the class ridiculing him. He might have learned about "pyramids" in the sense of using the word to describe the shape and didn't realize that they were literal things.
Gliste ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He or she has a point tho. Pre 2001 - You didn't call the Prism things in New York the Twin Prisms. They were the World trade center. He was probably asking for a proper name and not the general shape of the structure.
Also the correct answer is The Giza Pyramid Complex. You're welcome.
xsladex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now that kid will grow up in fear of being ostracized for asking questions. He'll fit right in.
121995420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Great Pyramids
dawgsjw ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is that tree looking thing over there by that watery liquid substance?
wunderhuffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Ben Carson?
VanMisanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Semi-octahedral antenna.
deadbeatengineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sophomore year of high school on one of the first days a fellow classmate asks "What are continents" in all seriousness...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when my brother asked me what the "cannonball shooter" was called.
donwyk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids Dont laugh On this fucking retard !
Viking1308 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tombs
bustahemo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what a critical failure on a knowledge check looks like in real life.
hellosexynerds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ben Carson?
ChemBDA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not the kid's fault we suck st naming things.
BillTheUnjust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the alien landing pads? /s
graebot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tombs
FlamingWarPig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a self proclaimed neo nazi in world history class who while reading aloud pronounced nazi as naw-zee. He never ever lived that one down.
Megatron_McLargeHuge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grain silos?
diamondhead24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like that kid. You know that Great Big Wall that surrounds China. What's it called?
shiner_bock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the number for 911?
Itscommonsensebro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, maybe he legit thought they had an actual name other than the ordinary "the pyramids."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're called "Kim Possible's breasts."
NAN001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is making a difference between Pyramid (geometry) and Pyramid stupid?
PalidSenicletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well this question is not stupid. Stupid would be if he never heard of pyramids or pyramid shape in general.
Anunkash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
poorly worded, but what are the pyramid's called? I know one is the pyramid of giza...
Smooch-A-Rooch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was riding in a bus on the way to the airport in Las Vegas when a young woman asked why there were some many "Little Washington Monuments" in front of the Luxor hotel. We all tried not to laugh at her. We failed.
RawMeatyBones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, I'm picturing a 6-10 y.o. asking that question... but now I see there's no reference to the age, so... how old was that student?
tangerine29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When was the war of 1812?
uiucengineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a medical textbook I once saw the kidney described as "kidney bean-shaped".
DigiDukeMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, the kid was close. Give him a break.
ihavenoenemies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now he is going to murder every one of those students and bury them in a pyramid.
DarkPuma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was looking for "the pyramids of giza"
GrundleSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of The Little Rascals
"quick! What's the number for 9-1-1?!"
EMorteVita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean - to get technical - they were called Mer - place of ascending.
Carlfest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'You and your two friends... When the three of you get together, you're like the... Ughhh... who are the guys with the muskets?'
Xeadas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sure the guy didn't lose a bet?
g0_west ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is a pyramid the name of the shape, or is the shape named after the buildings?
anothermuslim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sphinx!
Beegrene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister once asked me, "What's the name for those balls that they shoot out of cannons?"
scarfox1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't they collectively called the great pyramids of Giza or something. And hey Mr. Donario, I'm all grown up now!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A funny question no doubt, but I don't think it's a stupid one.
The student probably knew that particular geometric shape is often called a pyramid, just not that those things have the same name. Much like asking "What are those sphere-shaped things called?", the things being balls. Just so happened the name was the same.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: How many sides does a pyramid have?
Child: Please sir, 2. An inside and an outside.
Amigara_Horror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: I wish I was old enough to retire!
frenchfrites ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's the number for 911?"
bmoney_14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You misunderstood, he wants the answer "pyramid of giza" it is you, who is stupid.
SteampunkBorg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think if any dictionary ever includes an example sentence for the definition of "brainfart", that should be it.
sameth1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grain silos.
Chasen101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha reminds me of the time Karl Pilkington asked Ricky live on air what the things in Gremlins are called
llitaslemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be honest, did you laugh as well? (internally, did you facepalm or laughed?)
Lonelan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10 guy: Half-diamonds
C-McCain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you realize he was taking about obelisks
ChaserChick87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pentagons, Suzi.
Those are pentagons.
ChipAyten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shape named after building
IwalkedTheDinosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the answer they wanted was "The Great Pyramids of Giza."
silkysmoothjay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're actually called "grain storage facilities". The more you know.
Nigel_-_Thornberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the grade you teach, not a bad question at all!
vertinox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dead pharaoh storage.
lard-lad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karl Pilkington's school days.
Jirb30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tbf he might have thought that the word pyramid just means the shape.
LovableContrarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was probably having a brain fart and mixing pyramids and sphinxes in his head
PanickedPaladin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually seems like a perfectly valid question to me. I mean, they aren't even just called The Pyramids, they're The Pyramids of Giza. They easily could have been called the Giza Tombs or something too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i think they meant what are they called ? like what name where they given. maybe he was forgetting they were called pyramid of giza?
Prof_Black ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but came out of college and it was the General elections 2010 UK. A lad goes so is Jamie Oliver (chef) now the Prime Minister of UK now.
spikebrennan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harvard Square is a triangle, and the University of Pennsylvania has a five-sided building called the Quadrangle.
heyIfoundaname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't think this is an all that dumb a question. I assume that he was well aware that they where pyramids, but thought they had a specific name. I think he/she will most likely refrain from asking questions from that point.
Relaxel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was talking about souvenirs...
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tombs
Neoixan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well its better than assuming the sun isnt a star
ConradBHart42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The proper response is "Tombs"
ClashmanTheDupe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's Trumps last name?
runhaterand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Ben Carson?
camlop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel kinda bad for him. Sure, it was a stupid question, but he genuinely was trying to know what the answer was and his class laughed at him.
But it's still funny.
Flueworks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one isn't too far fetched. A pyramid is a geometric shape, named after the pyramids (or is it the other way?) So it's not unreasonable for a student to have learned about the geometric shape, but not the tombs in Egypt. For all he knew they were called Big Large Gravetombs or whatnot and were just incidentally pyramid shaped.
diggexpat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's almost as bad as "What's the number for 911?"
trukvlteroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The children are right to laugh at you."
michaltee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Great Polygons of Egypt.
spankymuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you type that upside-down 6?
ElectroFlasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the teacher but i had two students in my class all the teacher how long a meter stick. In the same day.
IroquoisConfederate ยท 2331 points ยท Posted at 15:40:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Warm spring day.
No A/C.
Fan blowing in the front of the room.
Hand goes up.
"Can you make the fan ovulate?"
No. No, I can't.
lfantine ยท 1519 points ยท Posted at 18:08:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can you titillate an ocelot?
You oscillate its tits a lot.
EditorialSquid ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:49:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but this had me cracking the fuck up.
handlebartender ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:47:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was present when a girl in my linguistics class in uni happened to share this joke with the class in an informal setting. Professor was present, too. I didn't see the prof cringe.
Come to think of it, I think it might have been the same girl who went up to the same prof after class one day, after he happened to make an offhand remark that men have one more frenulum than women do (while describing the anatomy of the parts of the head involved in creating phones). He didn't hesitate to sketch it out on the blackboard for her, as I recall. No, no leering; he really was all about "if you ask me and I know, I'll tell you, then we'll move on".
prancingElephant ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:00:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fact, women actually have one more frenulum than men, because there are two vulvar frenula!
handlebartender ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:00:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL
AlwaysChildish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tits can ovulate?
lfantine ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:51:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You egging me on?
HiddenKrypt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:08:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welp, I'm off to find some furry porn. Thanks.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:35:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/thread
songbolt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow.
RestheJackal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:01 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
amazing. absoloutely amazing. A+ mang ///^
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:42 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I'd thought of it first. Thanks!
cecor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:32 on February 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me spit out my coffee
SomnambulisticTaco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:42 on February 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So this is my new favorite thing
lfantine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:21 on February 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:-)
supremecrafters ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 16:57:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he might have meant "Oscillate?"
I_AM_PLUNGER ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 18:08:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ovulate sounds so close that while I knew it was wrong, I couldn't for the life of me remember the right word until I read your comment.
FuzzySAM ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 18:35:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quiz bowl thing in high school, lighting round: what are the tubes in your ears that connect inner and outer ear called?
Fallopian tubes! Facepalm
aabicus ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:02:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brain jumped to "undulate" and stopped.
mzxrules ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:08:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. Obviously he wanted to breed fans for all the class to use
OPs_other_username ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 19:25:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you allowed a pregnant pause before you answered.
DH2007able ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:52:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be impressive if you could.
Pure_Reason ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:19:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to wait for the right time of the month, duh
voxnihili_13 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:46:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude, you won't. ;)
tylerchu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:19:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister thinks ovulating and oscillating are the same thing. I learned how to rip apples in half with bare hands and did so and when I set one half down, it jiggled and my sister asked how I made it ovulate. And I was like "what".
She's 17.
birdily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:10 on June 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can rip an apple in half with your bare hands?!
tylerchu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:43 on June 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. It's actually stupidly easy if you get the technique down; I thought it was really hard at first.
You put the stem of the apple (or where it would be if there is no stem) in between the fleshy parts of the base of your thumb. Your fingers curl around to the bottom of the apple. Then you use a rolling, not ripping, motion to break the apple. If you put your hands on a table while doing this, it almost feels like you're going to crush the Apple with your body weight but instead you redirect the force sideways with your wrists.
spyker54 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:08:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My computer won't turn on"
"Have you tried talking dirty to it?"
kchuen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:23:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude.
jusumonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he means oscillate
mineymonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What... The actual fuck.
eeyore134 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:16:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The word they wanted was oscillate. It's close.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OSCILLATE.
tomorsomthing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you teach chemistry in the northeastern usa? I think I might have been in that class.
gothic_samurai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost spit out my food at that one.....
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:52:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LeibnizIntegralKeks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:17:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who use big words like "oscillate" are so smart.
[deleted] ยท 2619 points ยท Posted at 14:53:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ethanhe1029 ยท 798 points ยท Posted at 21:50:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean they don't celebrate Australia Day in china?
Reoh ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 23:48:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean they don't celebrate Chinese New Year in Peru?
KennyWells ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 23:49:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah they celebrate Canada day actually
amightymapleleaf ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:21:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody celebrates Canada Day
lor_louis ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:39:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why?
giantbfg ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:40:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's a fucking leaf
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:04:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Canada Day, that's why! Can you think of a reason not to celebrate it?
It's a great day for Canada, and therefore, the world!
lor_louis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:19:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
samfi ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:24:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't actually be surprised if they did, not a nation wide celebration perhaps but some fireworks at least, assuming there's at least some chinese that live there.
They did celebrate it here. Honestly it was IMO a bigger and better party than our regular new years, and this is supposed to be our country's 100th bday year, kinda silly.
CoralineCastell ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:13:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They celebrated it here too! We have a varied Asian community here, so that means all sorts of celebrations with fantastic food. Won't complain!
xXxNoScopeMLGxXx ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:22:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I celebrated Chinese New Year by buying a bunch of shit that is on sale from Chinese stores. I got some Xiaomi Yeelights, two laser diodes, and several other things for cheap!
secondattemptatthis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:05:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chinese New Year is celebrated in a a lot of countries though.
xXxNoScopeMLGxXx ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:18:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still have a hangover from Austrailia Day...
leafy_vegetable ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:26:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we all do! It was only two days ago. Jeez mate! /s
MattMakesPhotos ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:42:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's bloody UnAustralian!
btcll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean they're stopping celebrating Australia Day in Australia?!?
Lady_Penrhyn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:59:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, they want to move it to May 8.
...say it aloud.
Jo-dan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:21:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Too late in the year. They need to keep it in summer. I prefer the idea of making it the second or last friday of every January, that way it's always a long weekend and you don't have to worry about people pulling a sickie the next day.
AweBlobfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean summer in january?
Jo-dan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:27:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its Australia. How do you not know that the seasons are opposite in the northern and southern hemisphere? That's like primary school stuff.
AweBlobfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:50 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a joke. I myself live in new zealand.
chubbyurma ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:24:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May 8 = MAAAAATE
Jo-dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I realise that. I'm just saying that while it's a funny joke it doesn't really work for a day which is usually celebrated with a BBQ in the sun. Also too late for the hottest 100.
Another day in January would be much better.
Hellguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean they don't celebrate Canada Day in Guam, ay?
GokuMoto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
does he mean Freeza Day?
wgrody87 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:42:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do they even call July in China?
PorterJustice95 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:51:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jury
wgrody87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
Mid1an ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 23:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an Australian, and was in the USA around Thanksgiving, a lot of people were shocked with they found out that Australians don't celebrate Thanksgiving
cptbeard ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 01:39:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and a good thing really, not to have murdered quite enough aborigines to warrant a party big enough to become a tradition
Stamboolie ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 01:42:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know - maybe Tasmania should have a thanksgiving if that's the rule https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_War
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:17:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Less than a thousand Indigenous people?
Rookies.
Sneakka ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:14:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have Australia day though, we have festivals and fireworks and everyone gets shitfaced
Mid1an ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:22:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aussie Aussie Aussie
Sneakka ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:23:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oi oi oi
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:55:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a celebration of one of the times we actually got along. Not the murdering.
arougebeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do I call these guilty chuckles I have?
LoliProtector ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Orgasms
nounhud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanksgiving doesn't celebrate killing Native Americans.
starlit_moon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:08:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really glad we don't do it. It's stressful enough planning for Christmas. I don't need two major holidays so close to each other.
MrWhippie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:01:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in america would you be met with such tard. No other country on earth would think like this.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 22:53:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: Do they have the 4th of July in Australia?
Student: Yes
Teacher: Correct, July 4th is a date on the calendar, it doesn't go straight from the 3rd to the 5th in Australia.
xXxNoScopeMLGxXx ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:27:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The holiday is actually called American Independence day. Not sure why so many Americans call it "The 4th of July" because that's not how they usually say their dates (I think) and they don't call other holidays by the date (I think).
court23w ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:13:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"the 4th" is quicker to say than independence day. I usually say "what are you doing for the 4th?" and people know what I mean. The "of July" part is just added for clarification. I hear it called the 4th of July, July fourth, the fourth and independence day. A lot of variations.
natsmith123 ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 22:08:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Australian and I was travelling with an American girl in the UK. She asked the exact same question, and then followed it up with "Well then when is Australia's Independence Day?" Her mind was blown when I told her that we weren't technically independent and that the Queen was our head of state. She was about 20.
Lying_Bob_the_liar ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 23:28:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but she is Queen of Australia. Australia IS wholely independent and can do whatever it wants.
FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:53:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where were you in 1975?
Betterthanbeer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:10:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Australia, where the Australian Governor General dismissed the Australian Prime Minister. Meanwhile, the Queen was asleep, and was told about it later.
Queen Elisabeth had nothing to do with the dismissal, and does not actually have the power to do it, even if she wanted to.
MrWhippie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:03:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why she has her representative do it for her.
Betterthanbeer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:17:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The queen didn't even know about it until she was told it had happened. Her response was to basically wish us well, and hope it would be sorted out by the Australian people.
Whitlam was dismissed because Malcolm Fraser, as leader of the opposition, had control of the senate and was blocking supply bills. Government had ceased to function. Fraser convinced the GG to dissolve parliament to force an election.
This is exactly how our parliamentary system is supposed to work. It had nothing to do with us being in a monarchy, and everything to do with us having a constitution that has system to break deadlocks.
I am all for the republican ideal for Australia, but people need to stop using the dismissal as the reason. In fact, it was a demonstration of our independence in practise.
If we had adopted the republican model proposed in the failed referendum, the dismissal could still have happened, and in exactly the same way. The Governor General would just have had a different title.
FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:22:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that system can only work because there's a higher authority than our government. Which is the Governor General, who represents the Queen.
Betterthanbeer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't call the Governor General a higher authority, merely a fuse in the circuit.
Remember, the GG represents the Queen of Australia, not the Queen of England. They happen to be the same person, but it is a different hat.
The monarch has no executive power in Australia. The role is symbolic, and is essentially a way to personify the state. The monarch is represented by the Governor General, but neither really have a say in the running of the country.
The Prime Minister selects the GG, who then serves as long as the current PM wants. The PM can also remove the GG, with no cause required.
Should the PM be dismissed, or parliament dissolved, the outcome is an election. The GG can't just pick someone else.
There are things we need to change. Currently, the Governor General doesn't even need to be an Australian. Abbot considered inviting one of the princes, for fucks sake. There is no limit to the term, either. Technically, the Prime Minister could invite Obama to be the GG for life. Or Trump.
We should remove the Queen from even the symbolic role she has. Mostly, so that we look like a grown up country, but also so people don't believe that we are ruled from elsewhere.
MrWhippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see you believe everything that you're told.
Betterthanbeer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:24:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop for a moment, and ask yourself why Elisabeth would want to destabilise Australia. What would she gain?
Hoisttheflagofstars ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're all conspiracy nuts. Of course it wasn't EliZabeth. It was the bloody CIA.
Lady_Penrhyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, it was 70s, it was the KGB!
Betterthanbeer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No idea why I always use an S instead of a Z. Perhaps it is so I forget she is one of the lisard people.
MrWhippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You do know she has business interests in energy companies right? Nationalising Australia would not have suited her.
MrWhippie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:43:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go
http://www.whoar.co.nz/2013/queen-elizabeth-is-a-major-shareholder-in-rio-tinto-are-we-just-being-screwed-by-the-british-royal-family-yet-again/
http://www.sxolsout.org.uk/zcase.html
Betterthanbeer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:11:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Breaking news - a rich person owns shares in blue chip companies!
MrWhippie ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've gotta be fucking shitting me. A rich person. She's the fucking queen. Who can throw out governments if she doesn't like them. This isn't a rich person like bill gates we're talking about here
Betterthanbeer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:17:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She can't throw ours out.
MrWhippie ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh right. American I assume. I'll leave it there then. You probably couldn't even point to Australia on a map so I'm not gonna waste my time.
Betterthanbeer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:10:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Australian, and I have spent a significant amount of time explaining that the Queen cannot dismiss an Australian government.
MrWhippie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hence the representative.
natsmith123 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Australia doesn't have a Queen. I was referring to the British Monarchy. We are legally able to govern our own country without external input but we are still part of the Commonwealth.
Enzown ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:11:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Queen Elizabeth is the queen of Australia. Also the UK, NZ, Jamaica, Canada and about 11 other countries.
Also while you effectively govern yourselves you technically don't. Your governor general, whoever that is atm, is the queen's representative in Australia. Any laws passed by your parliament must be signed by the governor general before they can be enforced. This is a ceremonial role in reality as the GG will sign everything parliament passes regardless of their view on the law, it's just the final step in the process.
natsmith123 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:15:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oops I think I misunderstood the comment above, I thought they were saying there were two separate Queens (one of England and one of Australia).
Your response is the most correct. My overall point was this girl was completely surprised to find out that Australia wasn't independent.
djpc99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a separate monarchy for both the UK (there hasn't been a king or queen of England since 1707 when Scotland and England were unified) and Australia. The fact that they are held by the same person is immaterial. The monarchys of the UK and Australia are legally, practicaly and ceramonaly separate.
Betterthanbeer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:17:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Governor General is selected by the Prime Minister of Australia. Technically, they can be rejected by the monarch, but none have been since 1930. It is doubtful this could be repeated, as at the time the UK parliament still had influence in Australian law, but this is no longer the case.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:54:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elizabeth is Queenof Australia actually.Canada too.
Hooray for down voters of a description of the actual system. Alternative facts amirite?
colorvarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was probably confusing because our neighbors to the north here in the US who still have the queen on their money celebrate "canada day" three days before our independence day. They also celebrate canadian thanksgiving 2 weeks before ours. But I'm just an ignorant american as my canadian friends would say, what do I know...
accentmarkd ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:16:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've met a surprising number of Americans who have questioned whether other American Jews celebrate the 4th of July and Thanksgiving.
sojahi ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:17:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen Australia-bound US tourists asking about 4th of July celebrations on travel boards before. It's a thing.
DonkeyDingleBerry ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:49:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The American embassy and consulates throw pretty awesome parties on the 4th of July. Not really easy to get into those anymore though. Stupid terrorists ruining me getting my hot wings on. Bastards.
Lying_Bob_the_liar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they celebrate. They celebrate that they are still alive.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:11:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I mean the answer is complex. Have they heard of Christmas? Possibly. Do they celebrate it? Possibly not. Are they Christians or brought up in the Judeo-Christian Or Secular Judeo-Christan tradition? Possibly not.
FrisianDude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:12:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what the fuck does '300 level' mean
chubbyurma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third year of university
Liberatedhusky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:31:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do wonder if it's considered disrespectful for an American Expat to celebrate in the UK.
accentmarkd ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:16:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, typically they're expats for a reason and don't really celebrate.
Liberatedhusky ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:55:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair, but there are plenty of people who leave the US for a stupid reason like Italy is so romantic.
Vanilla____Gorilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, not at all. In fact, places will often use it as another way to promote their bar/restaurant, at least in London.
colorvarian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
parents moved to cambridge and held a fourth of july party their first summer and invited all the neighbors. Lovely people. Apparently the party was a hit and the english were very graceful and had (or pretended very well to have) a great time.
GledaTheGoat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
British person here. Do you mean that the British would think it's disrespectful? To be honest I think most British people are unaware of the history of American independence as it is not taught in school. For some reason we don't learn learn anything about colonial countries. I myself read about it on the internet.
Wooper160 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher I had went to a 4th of July celebration in the Netherlands so you never know.
AberrantRambler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those former convicts should celebrate every damn day they're not incarcerated, lousy ingrates.
AltSpRkBunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, Give Trump A Chance!
GreatAide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a fair question. What are they, fucking communist???
jcmib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TBH, they probably don't celebrate it per se.
Red_Historian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lived with an American who couldn't understand why we in the UK didn't celebrate independence day, I told them that we originally did but move the celebration to 24th of August after we burnt the White House. Not sure if they were stupid enough to buy that, I think probably.
User2079 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother-in-law was on vacation in England and asked someone what they do over there for thanksgiving. She also asked if the hair dryer was a bidet dryer. ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/shitamericanssay
gorgeous-george ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In all honesty, we don't really care for the reason behind it. Just make it a public holiday and we'll celebrate it like any other. With a BBQ and a case of beer.
burningheavy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dont worry, I'm in class with people who cant form a coherent sentence but are in Grad School.
Hermetic_Dreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does someone even get that far in life being that stupid? I assume rich parents and no book reading.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on, you at least learn that by 100 level class
Bryanh100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They have the 4th of July. Just don't celebrate it.
YaBoiGibblez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same with my friend asking my French teacher how they celebrate Thanksgiving in France
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had American relatives tell me that it was horrible that I have to go to class on Thanksgiving.
I'm studying in the UK.
GGTheEnd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MURICA
retroxandox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We all just go from the 3rd of July and then go straight to the 5th. Us Aussies are a crazy bunch.
unicorn_potential ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had two american exchange students in my first year class. One of them asked, "What language do they speak in Venezuela?" The other one answered, "Mexican."
jbuch ยท 3947 points ยท Posted at 14:50:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a corporate trainer, so hopefully this counts.
I used to train content for an exam that everyone in our field must take to get licensed. If you didn't pass, you had to go back through the course. Well, I had a dude go through my class 4 times. FOUR.
Here's the conversation we had before his 3rd exam:
Guy: "What attempt am I on?"
Me: "Wait.. what?"
Guy: "Well, I've taken the test twice, but everyone else in here hasn't taken it, so am I taking my test for the first time or the third time?"
Me: "What do you think?"
Guy: "I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."
Dude thought that he might be on his first attempt because he was back in a class with a bunch of people who were on theirs.
Edit: never fear, people of America. He abso-fuckin-loutely did not get a license.
marbotty ยท 243 points ยท Posted at 20:51:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if he was trying to figure out if he was getting the same test for the 3rd time or a similar test for the 1st time?
Grabbsy2 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 00:35:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I was thinking. In my mind, this is just a simple miscommunication.
VideoGameProf ยท 276 points ยท Posted at 19:47:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, this is a new level of thick.
throwaway11272016 ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 23:20:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thicc
coolmancase ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:21:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's good to see the word thick being used in its greatest context.
Yawehg ยท 203 points ยท Posted at 20:08:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what bureaucracy does to people. He knows it the third time taking the test, but he's trying to figure out how he should be categorized.
jbuch ยท 211 points ยท Posted at 20:17:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As much as I want to agree with you... no. I promise you that this was not the case. The average score for the test is a 76% and passing is a 75%. He scored a 38, 34, 47 (getting there!) and then another 38. Poor guy was just missing most of his brain.
sysop073 ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 20:43:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The average score is 1% above passing? That's a little alarming
nemo_sum ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 21:00:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if it's the average of passing grades.
[deleted] ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 22:17:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's a hard certification. You can fail in school, doesn't mean anything. You can't fail at work if it's anything important.
Iwillnotreplytoyou ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 20:55:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We don't have A, B, C, D, F grades in the adult work world.
[deleted] ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 21:02:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, we basically do.
They're just called "Outstanding, Fair, Poor, and Fired"
kabogle1 ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 21:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the 1-5 scale where 5's aren't actually achievable.
Natanael_L ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 22:37:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're Nobel prizes
nothing_clever ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a national lab, this is the joke my boss would make during our annual review.
PancakesAreGone ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:54:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, 5 is achievable. It just requires whoever is going to do the judging/decision making want to go down on you right there and then for how well they feel you're doing.
Sneezegoo ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 22:59:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you have this backwards. You have to blow the judging person.
Edited
Herp_derpelson ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:58:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has a performance review coming up, I do not want to have to blow my boss.
PancakesAreGone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:31:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not both?
ManservantHeccubus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:43:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the most interesting misspelling I have encountered in a while.
Sneezegoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are you even talking about. That never happend...
ManservantHeccubus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's true. It doesn't look like anything to me.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:09:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My previous supervisor and I were really good friends. I had 3 years of 5s before they got promoted and I was moved to someone else.
"Your performance seems to have dropped off. I am going to give you a 3 and you can work back up to a 5." Doh
mortiphago ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:34:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we've got a 1 - 5 scale where pretty much everyone is 3 or 4, a quota of 5% is 5, and whoever is 1 or 2 won't last long
kabogle1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a 5 scale, where the only person who got 5's was George. He really deserved those 5's though.
hammsfamms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither are 1's though
IshKebab ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:23:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"exceeds expectations", "meets expectations", "room for improvement" where my corporate overlords / meddling HR people come from.
rocked_licker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not where I work: outstanding and damn unions.
SniffinSnow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha, this.
sysop073 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:44:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good piece of info, but I'm fairly sure you missed my point. It would be just as possible for the average score to be 95%
AwkwardGinger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:58:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the point of having a test like that if it's that easy to pass? You're trying to weed people out who don't deserve licensure. The test is supposed to be difficult.
hedoeswhathewants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we have Pass, Pass, Pass, Pass, Fail
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's pointing out that 75% is what's considered competent for whatever that licensing is for, and so the average person to pass it can barely be considered competent.
WinterCharm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
90th percentile on the MCAT is around 66% of questions answered correctly.
It's not that uncommon to actually make tests tough enough to stratify people.
defiantleek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is, the average should be much lower than that if the certification is to hold any merit imo.
sysop073 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:30:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be true if everyone on the planet took this test, but presumably most of the people who take it believe they are qualified enough to pass it, so if a high percentage of them are not something went wrong during the education process
defiantleek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. There are many certification tests that are designed to have a certain failure rate. In this case the 75% is a somewhat arbitrary number and could be any score. Just because the people who studied for it and thought they were prepared took it and failed doesn't mean the test is poorly calibrated. Once you stop taking tests in school and start taking them IRL they can have different measurements of success.
uDurDMS8M0rZ6Im59I2R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is used for lack of any objective measure of what people should know?
masterpcface ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your statement isn't a question?
defiantleek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck does your question mean? I'll elaborate just to potentially answer it, the idea behind certifications having high failure rates is that when you pass it you show knowledge and are able to uphold a certain standard that can be expected from that certificate. This isn't like a high school diploma, the certificates actually mean you are capable of doing certain jobs and just because you study a little doesn't mean you should pass them. Typically these tests also have labs/potential scenarios you have to work through in order to demonstrate your knowledge as well. The test will modify itself as you go along to challenge your weaker areas as well.
sysop073 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, if the test is designed to fail 25% of the people who take it regardless of how prepared they are, it is very badly designed. I don't care what "IRL tests" you're taking
defiantleek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The test is designed to fail the majority of the people, not 25%. It isn't designed to fail people who are actually ready for the test but it is designed to be a difficult and grueling test that when passed shows you are competent in that discipline. Those tests are typically not on a percent scale in my experience though and are a 1-1000 or a similar format. My Cisco certifications for example were like 800+ to pass. These tests are voluntary to take and are used to show your proficiency in an industry. It isn't badly designed but in fact very well designed for their purpose.
sysop073 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, well, we're arguing in circles at this point. It sounded like you were claiming that the test is designed to fail X% of people even if everyone mastered the subject, which would be a very bad test. You seem to be saying "some tests are hard", which...yes, they are, I'm with you on that
defiantleek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My point is the tests are designed with a certain fail rate expected, too many people passing is as bad as none. And it isn't like you can't take them again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I got my NMLS license (mortgage loan origination) last year I barely passed with a 76%. I scored higher than all my co-workers and classmates from the prep course. Exam was hard as fuck.
stationhollow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly the US university standards do not ready people for the real world.
Yawehg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh well.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:03:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My slightly autistic brain struggles so much with bureaucratic forms. So many questions have several valid answers. I always need to get help because I can't seem to figure out what the intended meaning is.
For example, if I was being tested for the third time but the test was a new version I hadn't seen before, and a question was "How many times have you previously attempted this test?" I wouldn't be sure what the answer was.
Smutt-n-SmuggledArt ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:48:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a common side affect of time traveling.
PedroFPardo ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 21:08:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Kevin?
jbuch ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could only be so lucky.
fuzzycommie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:15:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's in the Air Force, remember?
Islandkid679 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Although how he got there is the stuff of myth and legend.
PM_ME_DANK_MEMESS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh... the Kevin memes are spicy
oh_so_many_questions ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:33:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly we all work with these sorts of 'adults'
EDIT: quotes needed
TheLurkingMenace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why quotes would be needed. A lot of adults are stupid. I figured that out when I was a kid.
LifeIsBizarre ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:37:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly most of us work 'for' these adults.
reddog323 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:15:54 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was the license for, if you don't mind me asking?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legend has it that he's still taking that class to this very day!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time travel. It's the only answer.
LeodFitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he ever get his license? If so, can you please tell me what the license is for so I can never trust anybody who has that license.
Alsadius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I confess, I occasionally get frustrated with corporate trainers for seeming kind of dumb to people who actually do the work for a living. But I forget sometimes that you need to design your lesson plans around people like this. Godspeed, sir.
Tremongulous_Derf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what kind of licence this was for, but I know he shouldn't have one.
Ebonic_Plague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was trying to ask "have I failed this twice in linear time, or is this like Groundhogs Day"?
SplitArrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like this guy is the hero no one deserves. First try
rackfocus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That hurts my brain.
Harry_Flugelman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trader?
Buzzard_Beater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this some sort of postal exam? Because I'm fairly certain that's the guy who "delivers" my mail.
ExpFilm_Student ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why didnt you just tell him instead of treating him likes he dumb and saying what do you think? Bad teaching lol
jbuch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because sometimes you have to force people to come up with answers on their own. Especially ones that are super obvious. It does people zero good when you just tell them what they want to hear. Sounds like you had some bad teachers, friend.
ExpFilm_Student ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:24:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to force people to come up with answers on their own, you help give them the tools they need to come up with the answers on their own. You don't force them like that or shame them like that to make them give you the answer- that's just shitty teaching. It's a dick move using sarcasm to try and teach. It's a shit thing to do to someone. I am a teacher. I didn't have bad teachers like that. You're not helping him find an answer on his own, you're shaming him. That's not teaching. That's just being a dick because you think it's funny. In that moment, you failed as a teacher, and now posting it on the internet to make fun of him? Yeah dude, that's a shitty thing to do, anonymous or not. That's why you're not really a "teacher." It's the difference between a good teacher who knows what he/she's doing and just a guy who is trying to train people for some corporate job. If that's what you think good teaching is, then there is a reason the avg is 76%, and it's not because the test is 'hard.'
Solkre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a Corn Flakes tester. Take it again, for the first time.
Kungfu_McNugget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, lawyer or accounting?
invaderkrag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of screwed-up, misfiled, bass-ackwards things that must be in his head for this question to be asked...it's baffling.
DroidLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't mind me asking, what was the license for? Also, what was the average success rate like?
dutchy412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya but he's now our president
Sickaburn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of license was it?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's only the second attempt if you passed it and retake it.
Shotaro ยท 2313 points ยท Posted at 15:20:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a maths teacher. One day a student apropos of nothing right at the start of the class looked me dead in the eyes and asked me.
"How did Jesus nail his other hand to the cross?" He then began miming the impossible task, musing over whether he had a hammer on a rope in his mouth and swung his head side to side to insert the final nail.
"He didn't" I replied
"Oh." Said the student with a long pause. "That makes sense."
That is the story of my one stupid question.
ZugTheMegasaurus ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 22:18:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the one question in here I really want to ask the person about. I'm baffled as to how someone could know that much detail about the crucifixion except for who did it.
Shotaro ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 00:09:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly my desire to get on with the lesson trumped my desire to ask them for more detail. The student was a bit of a joker though so in my mind I figured he was trying to derail my lesson before it started. Regardless it's a really stupid question.
bustahemo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:15:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it Mr.Green In Jerusalem with a hammer?
AskTheRealQuestion81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:19 on June 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the guy whose name you were trying to remember was John Henry.
(I realize this is four months old, but for some reason I'm just now finding this page. At this rate, I'll wish you a Merry Christmas next Spring.)
derleth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:01 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jews Killed Jesus.
Jesus Was A Jew.
Jesus Committed Suicide.
Suicides Go To Hell.
The Antichrist Rules Hell.
Jesus Is Lord.
Lords Rule Things.
Jesus Rules Hell.
Jesus Is The Antichrist.
The Photon Is Its Own Antiparticle.
Jesus Is A Photon.
Photons Have No Mass.
Atheists Have No Mass.
Jesus Is An Atheist.
Checkmate, Christians.
Dikaneisdi ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 00:57:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught religion in a catholic school (substitute teacher). One kid asked me how Jesus died. In a room which had at least 3 crucifixes in it. This kid had been in catholic education for about 10 years at this point.
Best answer to a question I got was:
Q: What is religious fundamentalism?
A: An example of religious fundamentalism is having a bake sale to raise funds for your religion.
katiedid05 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:29:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so confusing
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:08 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's so funda-metal
damionlai97 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:57:27 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, by using a bake sale, you actively promote your religion and agenda, leading to the exacerbation of religious fundamentalism, especially due to the advent of globalization and the presence of telecommunication technology.
Dikaneisdi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:53 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn those fundamentalist mini muffins!
elkabongg ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 21:08:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just another miracle
Angsty_Potatos ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:32:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correctist answer here
AcidCyborg ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:00:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, don't go trying to tell me what correctism is.
ibrokethestars ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, this one had me in stitches
grandoz039 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:16:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't tell him it wasn't Jesus who crucified himself?
Shotaro ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:06:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. I figured "he didn't" covered that. The student seemed to get it at that point.
zdakat ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:37:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He probably assumed the person next to him nailed the other hand or something haha
Drizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:41 on February 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully she said "Jesus is just made up like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, now take your seat"
grandoz039 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:59:11 on February 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most historians believe he existed.
TheMastersSkywalker ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 00:31:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were learning about the ancient Israel and a girl asked why everyone we were learning about had american names.
Mafros99 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:07:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
idk about everyone's names, but God created Archangel Michael right after Beat It was released
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:07 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Archangel Gabriel - the one with the sledgehammer
One_Half_Hamster ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:48:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I think that's a fair question though. If you are reading the text in its native language the names are Aramaic/Hebrew/Etc. but they are generally all referred to now by an English equivalent to their names.
hyacinthinlocks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever tried to read the original names? They're tongue-twisting
One_Half_Hamster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:03:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have tried and I can't. It honestly takes a certain dialect to make the names sound right and me being a central Iowan from Dutch heritage doesn't really lend to that ability very well.
IWantToGoToThat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:24:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck did that come up in math class?
SavageGenius ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 01:31:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, from the kid's point of view, something just didn't add up.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:21:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, from my point of view, I don't like sand.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He saw the addition sign, and equated + to โ
OwlStretcher ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 23:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no, he said he taught "maths", not "math". Totally different subject.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:46 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's because the average American kid can barely learn one.
ducks
Shotaro ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:05:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So at the start of the lesson I would always ask how learners were and give them the opportunity to talk a little bit. Put the learners at ease and makes you more accessible. The learner just blurted this out at one point.
Serpardum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should of kicked him out, after taking the gems from his staff first, of course.
I never thought I'd hear the phrase "Apropos of nothing" in a conversation. :)
Xenethra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My math tests had Bible verses that got graded, granted I went to a Christian school.
karl2025 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:00:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've read more than one story in the newspaper about someone who tried to commit suicide by crucifixion who didn't ponder that question until after they had already nailed up one hand.
advertentlyvertical ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:36:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than one?
karl2025 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:52:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Not the same person, of course. It'd be pretty embarrassing to make that mistake twice.
penguinofdoom16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could have been a Young Ones reference?
guitareatsman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/1rd87yC3wRc?t=7m40s
Jmannthegreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here is a stupid question...what the hell is apropos? Am I missing something??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that he probably thought he was such hot shit for poking a hole in the story.
damionlai97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:34 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real question: Why would he ask the Math teacher, of all people, about that?
sharksnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:16 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he didn't follow up with, "did Jesus cross-train?"
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:13 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR: Nailed it.
ltocadisco ยท 4241 points ยท Posted at 14:22:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old do you have to be to smoke crack? ~ a fellow student at Waukegan circa 1988.
[deleted] ยท 3573 points ยท Posted at 15:40:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Peuned ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:30:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old enough to ask was how beer was handled in Germany when I was a kid. Go to a bar in a small town, ask for eine bier, sip it once because 14 year old me doesn't like beer
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:42:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xFEARFULDEMISE ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:15:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol or cocaine?
brickmack ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:58:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
14 year old you had functioning tastebuds.
If somebody hadn't told me beer was made from rotten grain, I probably would have guessed rotten manure.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:30:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What beers have you been drinking?
brickmack ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:03:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
None. I've tried like 6 different kinds, none made it past my pharynx.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:10:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You knew what the information being requested was and specifically refused to answer it. Want to give it another try? To clarify drinking is when something passes your lips so we are on the same page.
legos_on_the_brain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't want to use rotten grain...
CrackCocaineForKids ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:36:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my job.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:15:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck are you doing on reddit!? These quotas aren't going to fill themselves! Now get back out there and do what you do best!
xFEARFULDEMISE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:17:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you accept Lego?
FallOutShelterBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, still better than cars4kids
MooseInASuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:04 on April 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about kids4cars?
pmartian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:48:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can circumvent a childproof lighter, you're good to go!
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:23:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best response I've seen this week.
angerispoison42 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 19:39:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get comments like this. Do you make a list of weekly comments? Why a week?
SLC_Skunk ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 19:42:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th best this month doesn't have the same ring to it
theonetruedon666 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:14:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this comment is in my top 50 for january, further analysis will be needed for an official ranking
ClashmanTheDupe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!RemindMe 1 week
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:13:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get a load of this weirdo, not cataloguing his favourite comments and ranking them in order of informative and funny.
masterpcface ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because too cheap for Reddit gold
Ololic ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:29:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here, Crack. Have a kid
Crack: oh, thanks nom
Secretly_psycho ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:06:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
accurate desc of what crack does
cocainebane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:41:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dying!
Spackleberry ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:52:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you smoke some bad crack?
theonetruedon666 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:13:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
relevant username
Solkre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well. Old enough to afford it.
rastapasta808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught life lessons that day
RIP_Hopscotch ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:55:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a question kids from Waukegan still most likely ask
Source: Graduated from a High School in the area 2 years back and most of the schoola in the area are dealing with serious drug issues.
ltocadisco ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:08:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the kids in Waukegan cannot afford much more than crappy weed and cheap beer. Coca products were far more prevalent among Carmel, Libertyville, Stevenson students who could afford such things.
Sno_Wolf ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:03:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck Stevenson High School.
squeakyshoe89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:44:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot upvote this enough. My senior year in high school they ended our undefeated football season and knocked us out of the state basketball super-sectional. Screw them.
RIP_Hopscotch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:45:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously though, this school is one of the best in the state but thats because they poach teachers from other schools. At my HS we has an amazing math dept head who taught APCS for years and did an amazing job with the class - Stevenson offered him a lot more money so he left for there. And most teachers at my HS made 80k+ and the school itself was top 10 in the state (top 5 without magnet schools being counted) if that gives you any idea of the conditions.
Sno_Wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to John Hersey. Their debate team can suck my debate team's fat, throbbing, dripping cock.
ltocadisco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thus is debatable at best.
RIP_Hopscotch ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:14:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About 3-4 years back there was a major drug bust at Stevenson, about 5 kids got expelled iirc. Found shit like Heroin.
Waukegan defintily has quite a few students with some series drug habits as well though. Not as bad as New Trier (people there literally show up to school high on schrooms) but I ran XC with a few of the guys from Waukegan and they'd tell me some stories of parties they went to.
ltocadisco ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:25:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do not doubt it. It's a big school, with a wide range of students. But to defend my hometown I seriously doubt cocaine in the form of crack was ever at all common among high school kids in Waukegan (or anywhere in Lake County.) I think most drug users kinda work their way up to crack.
RIP_Hopscotch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biggest issues in Lake and and Cook county High Schools are pot (90%+ smoke), shrooms (closer to 40%) heroin and crack (around 3-5%).
Obviously closer to 100% drink as well.
AbsentThatDay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to believe 40% of anyone does shrooms, what a shitty substitute for LSD.
RIP_Hopscotch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:03:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The North Shore, where these schools are, consists of a lot of preppy white kids with way too much free time - 40% of people doing shrooms is kind of a conservative estimate from what I've seen.
AbsentThatDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The north shore has inferior potassium.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ltocadisco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it does sound nice when you put it that way... but our fight song is Ghetto Bird by Ice Cube.
RIP_Hopscotch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DHS is a better school than NT according to basically every ranking I've ever seen - though I will say we couldn't compete with you guys on sports when you have like x2 or x3 the numbers to draw on than we did.
Also I dunno when you went to NT, but I went to middle school in the district and still talk to people who went to NT 2-3 years back, went to a few of your parties - hard to not find anyone taking molly or shrooms.
Cash5YR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Libertyville grad. Seems pretty correct, but that Mecca was more Lake Forest.
howimetmycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotten some fire weed from Waukegan. Kids these days need to learn where to find it.
young_roach ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:21:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Illinois?? I live in Waukegan right now! I'm new to reddit, I didn't know there were so many of us here. I went to high school in Zion though..
ltocadisco ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:10:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome young ZB! We have liquor stores, if you are into that kinda thing.
FratricideV2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Louies man. best liquor / pizza place ever. also the breadsticks are bomb.
Source: used to live in Waukegan
ltocadisco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The deaf guy at the counter is a character. Watch out for him.
FratricideV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He still works there? I moved away from Waukegan in '98.
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O yes. He and his brothers helped us really big during the blizzard of 1979.
FratricideV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happened? I was not born yet. lol
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a ton of snow that winter and it did not melt down much due to the cold. The young Greeks helped my folks dig out the house and car.
ImpedeNot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's first job was at Louie's! We still go there everytime we visit my grandmother.
trolliroadkill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Besides Leno's, is there anything worthwhile there? :P
ltocadisco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best jail in the entire County
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at ZBHS last year for a wrestling tournament!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:41:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good ole Waukegan.
TubaJesus ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:49:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waukegan High School entered our sports conference for IHSA this year. Had their asses handed to them and they have some of the rudest student sections I've ever seen.
Seems like they all are like that now.
Skudo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:39:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup they left our conference after last year (CSL). Always beat them in whatever we played them at. Honestly feel kinda bad for them. That schools been through a lot of shit lately and its not exactly in a booming area.
TubaJesus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:45:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This past year in the NSC football tournament they played Stevenson and lake Zurich, you can guess how they got chopped up. But when Mundaline beats you there is a serious problem.
ltocadisco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:54:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waukegan was never great at football (well maybe back when Otto Graham was on the team) but who can even remember Otto?
TubaJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I certainly don't know the name. But generally I don think know opposing teams player rosters so I'm not the one to make judgement on that. The one exception being the Admrial from Zion Benton.
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seven NFL championships.
TubaJesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just looked up his Wikipedia page, I now understand what you mean by that.
Kvetch__22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, Waukegan left the CSL? How the hell am I just finding this out through reddit. Are they just going with 5 teams in the south now?
Maine East was always the punching bag when I was in school. I think they made rules that stopped all the good athletes from transferring to Maine South though.
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty recent move - here's a bit from the Tribune.
Skudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. They left the CSL to join the NSC at the end of last year.
ltocadisco ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:51:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a certain lack of sportsmanship, probably due to deep seated socioeconomic factors in the home and community. But in due time the first shall be last, and last shall be playing Tuba.
TubaJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So true, have personal experience with that one.
ltocadisco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Play on my dude
chicasotagolfer0905 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:57:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Former lville grad here. Remember when we played waukegan in football scrimmage 8th grade. We were killing them, per usual, when waukegan starting a bench clearing brawl. Some kid from waukegan had to get taken out on an ambulance and the waukegan parents actully tried to fight our parents. Prime example of the lack of manners, class, and intelligence from the people of Waukegan.
-UserNameTaken ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:08:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in waukegan, and raised their until i was 12. We left after all the gang fights in elementary school where we, the safety patrol with bright yellow safety sashes, would collect random knives that were dropped. We also helped kids cross the street, but finding the knives was the best park of the job.
mc_security ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:41:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kids I was taking care of asked me how many dollar bills they would need to smoke to get high.
Recursive_Descent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:03:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if their parents were smoking crack and told them they weren't old enough. That's the only thing I can think to prompt that question.
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:49 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His parents were a little odd, but not at all the type to chase the blast. I guess he was just trying to ask a good question as a nervous underclassman.
truthinlies ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:04:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I'm feeling miserable, stuck in a rut, and dreading the next few days, but you made me laugh so hard I cried. Thank you!
k_fit ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:46:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you need some crack.
truthinlies ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:08:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No dice, I'm not old enough yet
hardly-workin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are if you get a fake ID.
CaptainMorganUOR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If getting a fake ID makes you old enough, does that obviate the need for said fake ID?
hardly-workin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, maybe not.
devictionne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well? How old?
Dragon_DLV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it was the '80s, and you WERE in Waukegan...
ltocadisco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you are summoned to the county courts. Then there is little choice.
deepwebnoxious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just asked my boyfriend this question... he said "I would guess old."
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:43 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do we say to the God of Crack? Not Today!
laeiryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:54 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was handed my first bong at age 6.
DO NOT RECOMMEND
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:47 on February 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Break the chain!
ElectrixReddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of If Google Was a Guy.
"Weed amount legal NYC"
SpiderDeUZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old enough not to know better, so 18.
dragonandante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seventeen.
EvilAfter8am ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15
passa117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it's 21. Sheesh, how dumb can kids be?
IAmGodMode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is profoundly depressing
PC_2_weeks_now ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that depends. Do you want to smome crack?
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Smome. I'll smome when I get home. No thanks on the crack I'm too young.
third-eye-brown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can see over the filthy bare mattress laying on the floor of the run down apartment, you're old enough."
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The run down apt with the bent up Venetian blinds?
third-eye-brown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How else are you going to verify the USPS is spying on you every 30 seconds?
Citystarrz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids don't usually ask questions like this for nothing. Chances are he has a sister or brother who's in their teens who he's heard smokes crack, and he's probably trying to come to grips with what's wrong here.
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No this kid was purely naive. It was speech class and somebody did a presentation on this new thing "crack" that was sweeping the nation in the late 80s. Somehow this freshman thought it was like alcohol with an age limit. There was much laughter.
Citystarrz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow...... I'm finding it hard coming to terms with the fact that some people are just that stupid and ignorant.
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:30 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was special this one. Literally and figuratively.
elkabongg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
75 and over. at that age, why the hell not?
smuggleskittens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Class of '99 here, some things never change lol...
Went to Jefferson Middle School, in 8th grade had a fellow student doing lines off the table during class.
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's Jefferson for youjk? Webster Warriors here.
flyingeldephants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Waukegan there is no age limit
procrastimom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dealers usually don't ask for ID, that's why acid was easier to get than booze, when I was in high school.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never change, Waukegan.
caritas02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was a crack addict cause some punk third grader shoved a empty baggie in my mouth with coke residue in it.
the 80's were a weird time
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you conquer this terrible affliction?
caritas02 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked my crack addict uncle if i were an addict, he said no.
printerK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, Waukegan.
Source: used to live in Crystal Lake
Mnstrzero00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I've got good news"
Sno_Wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That question was still being asked in Chicagoland as late as 2001.
Source: Was at school in Des Plaines and heard it asked.
govbrown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds about right for Waukegan
Ricecake847 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waukegan, IL? Not surprised if that's the case. I don't know if it was as bad back in the 80s, but probably only North Chicago has them beat for most ghetto high school in Lake County. If you have to go through metal detectors to get into school, you know things there aren't going well.
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god for NoGo! Zion has some moments too. Last time I went in to watch basketball there were no metal detectors.
Ricecake847 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't go to Waukegan, but I knew people who did and they said they had metal detectors, this was a bit over a decade ago though. Zion is probably 3rd for most ghetto school in the county. I knew alot of people that went there, so I've heard some stories. But as of about a decade ago, no metal detectors at ZB at that time yet.
Big_Bronco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
left waukegan with a slammin of the door
tambrico ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
21
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can smoke crack any age you want, you just need to take the consequences
SlyDare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waukegan! <3
Thekiraqueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for reminding me this was a thread on stupid questions. Not stupid sex ed questions.
ButsaBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's no Zion-Benton, that's for sure.
ltocadisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:46 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes we thank our lucky stars that we are not as exciting as Zion or North Chicago, nor as boring as Gurnee.
petercartwright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao sounds like Chicagoland fuck yeah rock on kids
injuredgustav28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being from Waukegan I'm not surprised...
shootupLWC210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waukegan IL? Sounds fitting
rachelmaryl ยท 2744 points ยท Posted at 14:20:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to volunteer teaching at an after school program for 14-year olds. We were doing a project that involved balloons. One boy had blown his balloon but couldn't get it tied. I tied it and gave it back to him. He immediately tossed it up. As it sank to the floor, his face fell. Obviously disappointed, he asked: "Aw, so they're not helium?"
Edit: Wow, so many comments! For those wondering, we did have a mini science lesson that evening. I explained to him that helium is not a balloon type, but is a gas that's lighter than air. I explained that he can get helium-filled balloons at most grocery stores or places with helium tanks; I also explained that typically, helium is harvested from natural gas.
He really was a sweet kid, but he definitely had his fair share of these kinds of moments.
bmmbooshoot ยท 887 points ยท Posted at 17:16:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aw that's actually sad in the sweet "oh, you idiot" kind of way. like he thought helium was a type of balloon and not a gas.
rachelmaryl ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 17:30:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This particular kid had a few moments like this. We played a game once that revolves around a surprise trick -- if the entire group knows the trick, the game can't be played.
He requested that game every. single. week. No matter how many times I explained to him that it's only possible to play with people who don't know the surprise.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:21:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to know the game
rachelmaryl ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 19:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fairly intricate, but I'll do my best to explain. It's called "The Cow Game." To play, you need a larger group (15+ people), and someone (usually the teacher) to officiate. To begin, two or three people are chosen, and everyone else is sent away from the room. Everyone inside the room will be known as "cows." Everyone outside the room are "guessers."
You tell the people outside the room (the guessers) that everyone inside the room is now a cow, and they have chosen a "Leader Cow," to be the loudest moo-er. The "guesser" is to enter the room, and stand in the middle of the circle of cows sitting on the floor. On the count of three (led by the officiate), all the cows will moo, but Leader Cow will be just a bit louder than the rest. The guesser then has to decide who is the Leader Cow -- if they guess correctly, they get to be Leader Cow on the next turn. One guesser is brought in at a time for their turn.
Your original three are given the same story, but you fill them in on the trick of the game: there is no Leader Cow. On the count of three, the original three are to moo as loudly as they possibly can. When the first guesser comes in, the cows moo on the count of three, as loudly as they can. After the guesser makes his/her guess, the original three are to tell the guesser they guessed correctly. We now have a guesser who thinks there is actually a Leader Cow, and that it will be their duty to moo the loudest on the next turn.
HOWEVER, the original three have been told that, on the second turn, they are NOT to moo at all. Instead, they're to take a deep breath and pretend they're going to moo, but are not supposed to make any noise. The officiate retrieves the next guesser, who is fed the same story as all guessers. They stand in the middle, the officiate reminds them they're to guess the Leader Cow, who will be mooing the loudest.
The officiate counts to three, and what usually ends up happening, is the "Leader Cow" is the only person who makes any sort of noise. Hilarity ensues, and then the officiate explains the trick to the two new people. The game continues, switching to a new Leader Cow victim at every other turn, until there are no more people.
Obviously it works best to choose outgoing, extroverted personalities as Leader Cow victims, and shyer individuals on the second turn of each round. This yields the most hilarious results with minimal impact on hurt feelings. Would recommend for high school and college-aged kids, as the intricacy can be confusing.
As for my students, they loved it. However, now that they were all "in" on the trick, it meant we couldn't play it again. Except for Helium Kid, who wanted to play it every week.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:19:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ibbot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:39:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG I always hated that game. I ran into it in multiple groups, but no one would ever tell me the rules. I'd be asking people questions of course, but had no idea what we were supposed to get from it. Occasionally someone would say it wasn't my turn to ask a question, but no one would ever tell me how to tell whose turn it was. People just kept saying I was supposed to figure it out, but only now do I know the basics about what the game even was.
CoralineCastell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a psychology student, I see the potential here.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:56:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Giving this to my teacher
ZAVHDOW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can just call him Kevin. Also, please post more stories to /r/StoriesAboutKevin.
bsjay ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:38:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The game is to guess what game we're going to play.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:40:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like it
thinkfast1982 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:43:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's play it again!
helikestoreddit ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:45:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I won!
BECKYISHERE ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:06:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mooooooooooooooooooo
TinFoilBeanieTech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nomic?
your_mind_aches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg. You have to tell us what the game is now
CyberneticPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Op pls.
!Remindme 3 days
LoL_D3BbY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He posted it above!
CyberneticPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet, thanks!
PmMe_Your_Perky_Nips ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 19:09:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If nobody ever told him that helium balloons were filled with helium, not made with helium, I can see his misunderstanding happening.
Some kids just don't ask many questions when they are young, and some adults don't give good answers. Both situations lead to people asking "dumb" questions later in life because they were given no or incorrect information beforehand.
kingeryck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:29:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless your heart
bmmbooshoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
precisely.
TinFoilBeanieTech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kids name? Albert Einstein, in cartoon physics.
MiskatonicMD ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 17:15:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What fell faster, the balloon or his expression?
anonthedude ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 18:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The observed IQ of the room.
actual_factual_bear ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:43:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Proverbs 17:28, predating Heisenberg and Schrรถdinger by thousands of years.
WantSomeBetaBlockers ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:48:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both fell at 9.8m/s2
I mean have you not learned anything from physics
duowl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:11:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The balloon fell much more slowly than that due to air resistance.
liamOSM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9.81 where I'm from.
kjata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having had background in engineering, I just use 10. 20 if I need a safety factor of 2.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:59:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HR_Paperstacks_402 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My vacuum is too small to fit a blown up balloon.
TakeMe2EarthCapital ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savage! Love it
Gorgenapper ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 17:22:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The human body's capacity to spew helium from its orifices tends to drop off at the age of 14
MLJHydro ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 18:02:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why else would boys voices change during puberty?
Megaprr ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/shittyaskscience
someinvisiblehand ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:24:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was coming here to defend the kid for understanding the difference between regular air vs. helium, til I re-read and saw that HE had blown up the balloon himself...
ManintheMT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:46:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he was "helium kid", so I can see where it got confusing.
PM_TITS_FOR_KITTENS ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:43:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's say you inhale helium and blow into a balloon.. wouldn't it work?
Lasdary ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man you're in every single subreddit I go to
PM_TITS_FOR_KITTENS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:12:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soulbuddy? Is that you?
DeathbyHappy ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:11:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If no one ever taught him Helium was a gas, I assume he thought it was a brand of balloon that floated when you blew it up
AnnieB25 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:08:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not too bad. A few years ago I was helping my sister-in-law and her bff Lacy decorate the house for my SIL's baby shower. Lacy was in charge of blowing up the balloons, tying ribbons to them, and putting them here and there. She blew up and tied 3 balloons which she laid on the floor. As she was blowing up the 4th one she started kicking the balloons around on the floor. We asked what she was doing and she said "How long does it take before they start floating?"
Lacy was 31 at the time.
_Callen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should have replied in a high voice or something.
smugliberaltears ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you taught ralph wiggum?
Camorune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Only if you're high"
PC_2_weeks_now ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats adorable smh
PC_2_weeks_now ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats adorable smh
Teaflax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you're not an actual teacher, but still: 14-year-olds.
adudeguyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my r/shittyaskscience answer is that once you go through puberty, your voice deepens and that means all of the helium in your system is gone.
BloodFartTheQueefer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you screech at him that you don't expel your helium and keep it all for yourself?
jmanunit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 21 year old ex roomate was equally dissapointed to learn that.
Pnk-Kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, teachable moments.
nullpassword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have said you have to rub them on your head to make helium. Rub it in his head then stick it on the ceiling. Would gave confused him for life.
Poopyoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When i was maybe five i thought thats how balloons worked. By five and a half i realized. Lol
priteeboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned this fact early on in childhood since I liked playing with balloons a lot and learned that they only float when they are filled "by one of those tanks". But it bothered me so much when in cartoons a character would blow up a balloon with their breath and it would float!
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, even the writers of Shrek didn't understand this.
Mr_Bubbles69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean technically there is helium in his balloon, just not enough to make it "float."
marMELade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to explain the same concept to a 22 year old.
mel2mdl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My principal thought that if we blew up the balloons, they would float. Had to explain to her that helium was used, not breath.
This was my boss. She was in her 40's. She RAN the school. I transferred as soon as I could.
TheNoitaerc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:10 on March 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he pick it up?
NewlyMintedAdult ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's no unacceptably stupid for a 14 year old. At some point, he noticed that some balloons float while others sink, and when he asked his parents or whatnot they told him it was because the floating ones were helium balloons. If you don't make the connection that helium is a quality of the balloon contents and not the balloon itself, his stance here makes sense.
Feeling_Of_Knowing ยท 5036 points ยท Posted at 14:54:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"if the patient have a brain hemorrage, can we do a tourniquet on the neck to stop it ?"
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 3877 points ยท Posted at 16:47:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... I mean... technically yes.
Kichigai ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 21:11:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody get Surgery Simulator out.
firegodmc10 ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 20:31:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, uh, technically, uh, nah.
The_quest_for_wisdom ยท 296 points ยท Posted at 21:30:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"All bleeding eventually stops, whether you do anything about it or not."
GringoGuapo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:19:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And asystole is a stable rhythm.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 22:30:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Opened the replies here to write exactly this.
Xutroy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:34:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Truer words have never been spoken.
PM_ME_YOUR_NACHOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well at least it'll stop the bleeding faster.
empire_bunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username, I must say. /u/The_quest_for_wisdom, passing on pearls of wisdom!
redjarman ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 21:12:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever strangled a superhero?
Adiniken ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:09:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a real surgeon?
JustAnotherRandomLad ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:37:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nnnah, nah.
HesUndeadJim ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:06:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright. I can see i will have to teach you how to become surgeons.
Soulren ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:47:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doo..dododo do dodo..do do do doo doo doo doo dododododo..hey!
The_Ghast_Hunter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now listen closely!Here's a little lesson in surgery, this is going down in history. if you want to be a surgeon that can boast, you have to put a tourniquet around the throat!
Ololic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:07:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deadpool
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:40:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'll stop the bleeding, won't it?
TLema ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The rest is unimportant details
OgreMagoo ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 21:19:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So would death :P
People. Any sort of death -- neck tourniquet-caused or otherwise -- would stop the bleeding. That was the joke. And I'm aware that a neck tourniquet would stop the bleeding faster.
EatMoreCupcakesNow ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:37:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You realize that is exactly what a neck tourniquet causes, right? A tourniquet works by restricting blood flow to a certain area, in this case the brain/head, which kills the human.
-susan- ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also it would cut off the oxygen supply
OgreMagoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any sort of death -- neck tourniquet-caused or otherwise -- would stop the bleeding. That was the joke. And I'm aware that a neck tourniquet would stop the bleeding faster.
SuchCoolBrandon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody needs the joke explained again.
imhotep4 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 22:21:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright! I see that I will have to teach you how to be doctors.
te-freddy-faz-doctor ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:51:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
have you ever tried on a disguise?
Secretly_psycho ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:07:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
have you ever murdered a paitent?
nopencilissafe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright I can see, that I will have to teach you, how to be, surgeons
corran450 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:37:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yes and no... Less yes and more no... really... really all no.
thereasonrumisgone ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:07:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. tourniquets applied to the neck are effective means of stopping patients.
Averant ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"...This kills the patient."
Waveseeker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For massive damage.
GuitarHeroJohn ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:31:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real LPT in the comments
ErikWolfe ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:36:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in Archer's voice for some reason
Ololic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:06:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pop
Doopsy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:08:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
going for the permanate solution here huh?
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:23 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No half measures
Ebonic_Plague ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's tight enough it will stop the bleeding for the rest of their life
AltSpRkBunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The procedure was a success, but the patient died.
BilboT3aBagginz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kills the patient
Pissed_Off_Platypus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No man, no problem"
Edgarelly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:16:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this in Archer's voice. Ten times funnier.
kayzingzingy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:05:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious. I read it in Krieger's voice. Much funnier
Beaudism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just exsanguinate the patient? You'll stop all hemorrhages.
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:16 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the holistic approach...
mLL5 ยท 1588 points ยท Posted at 16:41:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"This kills the human."
LifeIsBadMagic ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:43:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They ded.
gaurded4 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:34:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They done diedid.
ArcticIceFox ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:32:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
carrrrrllll, that kills people
Justinjah91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:48 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I... I didn't know that. Yeah I'm in the wrong here. I suck.
Wanteddead45 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:49:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The human does not respond well to treatment. Try another.
ElliottPolin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but it does stops the hemorrage.
Amchew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I L
TheToroReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the goal is to "stop it" :)
iamagiraff3 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 17:24:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of class was this? I'm hoping it wasn't medical or nursing school.
DreadPiratesRobert ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 19:13:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My EMT teacher specified several times that you should never put a tourniquet on someone's neck, I guess it's been a problem before.
Lyn1987 ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 00:20:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol my professor went through scenarios in which CPR shouldn't be attempted. One of them was decapitation.
DreadPiratesRobert ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:38:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's in our protocols as well, under "obvious signs of death." Although, those serve a purpose because those are the only times we're allowed to withhold CPR (unless there's a DNR or paramedic)
grubas ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:15:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My paramedic course had the absolute strangest teacher who literally made up stories about how he saved people. The best part was that he fainted at the sight of blood. No clue how he got through training.
CaptainVonDanDan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:00:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you do if someone has a "Do not resuscitate" tattoo? Is that seen as actual instructions not to resuscitate?
DreadPiratesRobert ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:07:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It varies by state, but in Texas, I need a valid Texas out of hospital DNR, with various requirements for signatures (Doctor being the most important). Tattoos, ID bands, wallet cards, they can only tell me that one likely exists, they don't stand in for OOH DNRs
Side note, In-Hospital DNRs don't work, as many nurses have been upset to find out.
mattyg04 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:17:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just had the most awkward image of blowing into some severed head's mouth and it just sounds like a dinky whoopee cushion
traumajunkie46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's sad that they have to specify what "obvious signs of death" are, then you realize there are people behind that odd necessity. I've heard horror stories from more than one of my friends who witnessed vain resuscitation attempts either in the field or people that were brought to the ER, although I will say sometimes you have to at least make it look like an attempt for the families (esp when it involves kids, glad I've never had to do that) so that you can truly tell them "you did everything you could." (Although I'd HOPE obvious decapitation would be one of the exceptions to this rule, but people are crazy).
IceEngine21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:33 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! An anesthesiology attending once explained this during CPR class to us: "If you have to move like 10 ft or more between ventilation and chest compression, then don't bother"
crippled_bastard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:49:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a course. I started with "OK, some wires got crossed and I actually wasn't supposed to be teaching today. So, go over the syllabus. I'm going to get changed into my uniform and grab some coffee."
"Also... everyone pay attention. Eyes on me. This room is an actual working clinic. We take overflow in the event of a mass casualty situation. The stuff upstairs is for training. This stuff down here is real. Don't touch the equipment."
I go off to remember how to be alive for the day. I'd been working for about 48 hours at that point.
I came back with a cup of coffee and a fresh uniform. I opened the door to see this soldier holding the very real defibrillator to his head. He yelled "Clear!", zapped himself, and crumpled into a heap onto the floor.
I used that incident to get better training facilities because we couldn't trust young medics not to zap themselves even when told not to.
DreadPiratesRobert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it an AED or a monitor? I'm surprised people would fuck with a monitor, but hey, I'm constantly surprised by the stupidity of people. Is he ok?
In High School chemistry, we had a "powder identification lab", where we had to identify mostly white powders in stoppered test tubes by the way they looked basically. Most of it was harmless, like salt, but some of it was kinda dangerous if you ingested it somehow.
So this fucking kid unstoppers one of the test tubes, and decides to taste it. Everyone at our table was saying "wtf are you doing", and after he tastes it, he says "Relax, it's probably all salt anyway", despite us spending all day identifying these powders based only on what they look like.
Guess who my lab partner all year ended up being?
crippled_bastard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:06:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it was a full on manual defibrillator. He ended up being hospitalized for a while. Also, AEDs typically wont work unless they detect a shockable rhythm. Typically, being the key word. Your mileage may vary.
DreadPiratesRobert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I would have been surprised if it were an AED haha. That's crazy to me.
becauseusoft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forgive my ignorance but what ultimately happened to him? Did he stop his heart? Did he need another defibrillation to revive him? Did he have brain damage?
What actually happens when someone who doesn't need a defibrillator gets defibrillated?
crippled_bastard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:17:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on where it is. There's a reason we put the pads or paddles on a specific point. It might stop your heart or(Most likely) it might throw it into a weird rhythm where we have to hit you again. It depends on the placement and the power.
He was breathing normally and his heart was sort of normal(very high heart rate). I called for an ambulance and pretty much just monitored his vitals until they carted him off. All I knew was that he never came back.
ColonelError ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it. On the same night that I got facial trauma, had a guy grab a handful of gauze to stop the bleeding, by holding it over my nose and mouth.
Then, when I got to the hospital, as I'm talking to an RN, one of the CNA/LPN nurses came over with an NPA (Nasopharyngeal Airway, used to make an airway through the nose if someone is having trouble breathing). RN made him feel real stupid about that.
ZAVHDOW ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:49:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What exactly was stupid about that? And who was being stupid exactly?
anvindrian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:52:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he was talking so he could breathe...
Feeling_Of_Knowing ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:28:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3rd year medical student.
murdermeformysins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe he forgot which vessels were the ones on the outside of the neck :(
teal_ninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.... are you serious? I feel like someone with no knowledge in the medical field would have enough common sense to not do that ._.
ImHereToReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that had to be a joke but no one realized because of the dry delivery ?
LucubrateIsh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was during rounds.
catsan ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:29:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that would help, if this is your first priority. Patient would die, but the bleeding might stop.
MarkNutt25 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:19:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, doctor, you've stopped the bleeding... along with all of the patient's other bodily functions..."
xray_anonymous ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please please tell me that didn't actually come from a med student....
Feeling_Of_Knowing ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:27:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3rd year medical student.
...
I know...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:11:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they actually say "If the patient have a brain hemorrhage..."?
xray_anonymous ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:48:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohmigawd. I didn't think I could lose my faith in med students and residents any more than I already have since working in the medical field. I am so deeply disappointed to find out I was wrong.
evorm ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 14:56:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh, i get it
i dont get it
AlwaysTurning ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 15:20:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A turniquet on the neck would essentially also be a noose.
Bleeding is another word for hemorraging
and this is a tourniquet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourniquet
MrRonny6 ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 15:25:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... It WOULD deal with that problem, wouldn't it?
PM_TITS_FOR_KITTENS ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 17:40:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That and quite a few other problems
ManDragonA ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 17:42:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure-fire cure for dandruff.
SpenceOrSpencer ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:49:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One possible downside is a sore throat.
MeshesAreConfusing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:41:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also slight death
SnipingNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As compared to major death.
Agent1108 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:51:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dumb question but how do you guys make the text really small like that?
An0therB ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:32:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These: ^
^shh becomes shh
And it stacks:
wanna buy some deathsticks?
Agent1108 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:34:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I've always wanted to know.
thedivinezero ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:46:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also if you click "source" under someone's post it should show you their formatting. I use RES though so I don't know if that is a feature of that or an actual Reddit thing.
cranialflux ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:41:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm actual reddit does not have it.
darksidedearth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ayy, RES bro!
MegaPhunkatron ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:40:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL those aren't carrots pointing to a previous comment.
lastpieceofpie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On mobile it just appears as wanna
An0therB ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:27:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, mobile isn't very good.
Sent from my iPhone
CubeFarmDweller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
waves hand You don't want to sell me death sticks. You want to log off reddit and rethink your life.
An0therB ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to sell you death sticks. I want to log off Reddit and rethink my life.
cranialflux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok but how do you use the ^ without it going to superscript? edit: nevermind...
Stricherjunge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks i've always wanted to knooow
NegativePharos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's really useful thank you
jmcgamer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:34:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Formatting. There's formatting help if you want to refresh mid-comment, but you use ^ without a space. Itshouldworklikethis
BuddyUpInATree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Justtestingisthishowit'sdone?
cranialflux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
metoolet'sseeifitworks
evorm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i dont know how to type it without it being formatted, but its the upside-down v
KremitTheForg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do rabbits eat them?
evorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
......yes.....yes they do...
KremitTheForg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a thread about dumb questions, this is hardly dumb, & I've always wanted to know, so thank you for asking.
Agent1108 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now we know
Dreamcast3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
like this
Agent1108 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you kind sir
Dreamcast3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nice job
Agent1108 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ThisIsFun
Dreamcast3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know right? It's like being part of a secret club
Agent1108 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know any other cool tricks?
M3rsh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you press source below the comment you can see exactly how the person wrote it in the text box
Agent1108 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. TIL.
xxAlphaAsFuckxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A tourniquet is used to stem blow flow by shutting off circulation through constriction. In this case if the patient is hemorrhaging from their brain you would try to stop blood flow from the heart (not in reality because you would not stop blood flow to the brain for any real amount of time) and the question was posed if you could do so by a tourniquet on their neck, which would not only stop blood flow to the brain but also shut off a person's air supply causing them to asphyxiate and die.
amagoober ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:34:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does stop the bleeding.
Dasuperfly007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All bleeding stops...eventually.
roman1231 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's called murder
Optometrist__Prime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... It would work... They're not wrong...
Hates_escalators ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, they'll stop bleeding. Because they're dead.
FreedomFries55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This should be near the top. The only one that made me LOL
Iamtevya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My idiot test for new residents (MDs in training) was to tell them they should consider obtaining a manual carotid BP if they were unable to obtain an accurate brachial BP.
Lundix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I heard a similar one in medic training. We were drilling procedures for injuries caused by high-level kinetic energy. You know, stabilizing the spinal chord and whatnot. When the instructor asked how to best put on the neck brace (it being implied that you have to be careful) one of my classmates proposed to just grab by the hair and lift the head. I would have disimssed it as a joke if I didn't know the guy.
AnatomicKillBox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I teach the med students about tourniquets, I always get them by going -
Q. "If a lower leg is bleeding, where do you put the tourniquet?" A. "The thigh!" Q. "If the antecubital fossa is bleeding, where do you out the tourniquet." A. "The upper arm!" Q. "If the scalp is bleeding, where do you put the tourniquet?"
They always exuberantly yell "the neck!!"
I just sit there until one of them figures it out. Usually doesn't take long. At all.
Then they all laugh and make fun of each other....but they will remember to never tourniquet the neck.
garuba2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. The answer is yes.
Monarch_of_Gold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Th-Tha.. No.. You can't. That's not how they work. What happens is a vessel /in/ the brain bursts somehow (usually by trauma or ruptured aneurysm) and bleeds out. The pressure will kill you before the blood-loss will.
Source: Mother (and maternal grandfather) had an aneurysm rupture. Scariest shit on this earth (and I've seen her live through two heart attacks before this).
Edited to add: to relieve the pressure and stabilize her, they drilled a hole in her skull and inserted a tube to drain blood and fluid off. Once she was stable enough, they did an angiogram and coiled the rupture (which was actually the very next day). Also took note of a second aneurysm (but it hasn't grown in size and is too small to rupture so they aren't worried right now). Seriously, the best way to save someone's life is to call for help IMMEDIATELY. She suffered virtually no damage and has made a pretty full recovery since.
EvilAfter8am ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but only if your toenails are freshly trimmed.
4_jacks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically correct!
aquaticonions ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course not. You cauterize it!
holyco16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please don't tell me that's a medical student.
as_a_fake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, technically, yeah. That would actually stop all bleeding in the body pretty soon.
noaddress ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was one of the greatest things we were joking about in the military, because we were specifically told not to put it around somebody's neck if they have a wound on the head. That and to write the time of application on the victim's body with a sharpie, because a tourniquet can't stay on for too long...
WinterCharm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do we stand on the right side of the patient, or the table?"
....
Yes.
fistmedadde ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, we were told that without anyone even asking - don't tourniquet the neck, chest or penis! You know what they say about common sense?
QuinnNotTinTarantino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, technically, yes. But that would also stop their life.
cryptiiix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whats a tourniquet
Feeling_Of_Knowing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
link
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is some Dr. Zoidberg stuff here!
Peregrinebullet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:52 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone get his neck slashed while I was at work.
My boss and a cop were doing first aid (aka, holding his gaping neck wound shut and applying pressure), while I tried to keep the crowd back.
Some asshat tried to shove me aside, nearly knocking me ON TO THE PATIENT, screaming "PUT A TOURNIQUET ON HIM! PUT A TOURNIQUET ON HIM!"
I screamed "TOURNIQUETS DON'T GO ON NECK WOUNDS! BACK AWAY NOW!"
His response: YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. FUCK YOU.
I had to restrain him to keep him from trampling on/killing the patient through pure pig headed stupidity.
Patient lived, BTW.
Asshat, to his credit, apologized to me after someone pulled him aside and reamed him out over the incident.
mrthescientist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Dustin_00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this problem solver.
Brainstorms like a pro!
I just hope at the review session, the difficulties are identified.
loopywolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope he had English next period.
Dr_on_the_Internet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All bleeding stops evenually.
Rockon101000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boy scout rule #1: Don't wait, amputate.
bobr05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Akilies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother had a brain hemorrhage and made it through. They must not have used the neck tourniquet method then... or maybe they tried but the tourniquet failed?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Head amputation is far more efficient.
durx1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've Guard this a few times. Completely serious. Sometimes I used to send young Marines out to find a neck tourniquet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, but..."
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It only works if the ceiling fan is sturdy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this an M1?
themongoose7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, doctor for an HMO plan.
Skandranen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Long time joke at work, am a paramedic, is a reminder to put on the tourniquet when starting an IV in a person's Jugular (neck) Vein.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's not wrong. It would work. That's not really a dumb question if you know how tourniquets work and that the point of fixing a hemorrhage is to stop the bleeding.
juanvaldez83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All bleeds stop eventually
only_male_flutist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reactor is going critical so we're just going to nuke it.
ChestyLaRue83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's something Charlie from it's always sunny would say.
nosackH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And we now call this man Doctor.
DroidLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We used to joke about that when I was in training. If you get shot above your shoulders, just put a tourniquet around the neck!
iamtoastshayna69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!!
becauseusoft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That goes along with the logic that bleach kills most germs and viruses...so ingesting or injecting bleach would take care of the common cold or HIV. Not gonna lie, when I was 12 years old I remember thinking this when I learned that bleach kills bacteria and stuff. I had recently been given the weekly task of cleaning the bathroom and had been reading the labels on the Lysol, Clorox, and other cleaning products. Kills 99.9% of germs.
But then I thought about it for a few minutes, and realized that I wasn't a genius who had just had a medical breakthrough of an idea; also I wasn't smarter than science, the entire medical profession, or the rest of humanity.
sluiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"All bleeding stops, eventually"
jrandall47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Yes you can do that to stop the brain.
keknom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you were teaching Dr. Zoidberg
CrowSage ยท 9064 points ยท Posted at 15:02:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As part of teaching U.S. Government I ran a zombie apocalypse scenario where the students had to respond to an ongoing crisis in real-time using the actual powers of the government as different parts of the government. It was my favorite activity all semester and I went all in, including with a large map of the U.S. that would be updated for every day that passed.
As part of this activity I prepared a handout of a fake news story about the zombie apocalypse beginning in our home town. It had pictures of zombies shambling around and was written all newspaper style.
One day, after handing these out, an 18 year old student raised their hand and said "Mr. CrowSage, did this really happen?"
boredomadvances ยท 3060 points ยท Posted at 16:03:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an amazing activity. When FEMA released their zombie survival guide I definitely sat down and read the whole guide, instead of just doing a mental of checklist of things that I think I need to prepared.
edit: here's the link zombie pandemic
edit 2: according to this link it was a joint CDC/FEMA collaboration
khaeen ยท 1458 points ยท Posted at 17:35:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The FEMA guide is actually a part of the overall zombie plans created by Homeland Security. Preparing against zombies happens to also work against everything from chemical bioweapons and pandemics down to mass rioting, so the government decided to take some notes.
floatablepie ยท 197 points ยท Posted at 19:39:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And, oddly enough, very relevant to video games when shit hits the fan.
Lozerpunmpkin ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 22:34:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote a paper on human interaction for an english class and I used the hell out of the Corrupted Blood incident.
AlreadyRegretJoining ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 02:02:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone had just a little bit too much fun writing that Wikipedia article.
Sefirot8 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 01:27:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this event is fascinating to me. and while unintentional, the ability for something like that to happen is also the hallmark of a good game in my book
Mildly-disturbing ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:49:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I read the Wikipedia article, and your right, for a game to be so open world and dynamic that players actually tried escaping to the country side to escape infection was truly fascinating to me. I've never played WoW, but this got me interested.
Kagamex ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:14:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This hasn been able to happen in wow for about 10 years. This debuff was changes shortly after this event.
Spartacus_FPV ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 20:35:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the prepper community, zombie is codeword for hungry unarmed civilian.
JD-King ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 21:22:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never get why these people would go on tv and talk about how they will be the only ones with food and water for miles...
DRM_Removal_Bot ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 22:26:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother told me about one he saw where a prepper was so proud of his bunker that he showed everyone around where the air shaft went out at.
Later, the producers asked the neighbors why they never built bunkers one of them responded. "I know where his air-shaft is. I just need a plastic bag."
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:43:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See if he was secretly smart that air shafts was a decoy.
He probably wasn't
AwkwardNoah ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:35:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He should've made twenty of them
Sefirot8 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:33:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in insurmountable obstacle for saboteurs
mfowler ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 21:31:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are the stupid preppers
JEFFinSoCal ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:34:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or perhaps they are the "honey pot" preppers? Unarmed civilians are not the only ones that are gonna be hungry... amirite?
LunickDrago ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:51:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if I have no food, but am armed, then I have all the unarmed peoples food.
film_composer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a prepper?
EDIT: You were all wrong, it's a small doggo
HiddenKrypt ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:21:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who make a point out of being prepared for all sorts of worst-case scenarios. These people range all over the political spectrum, though politics does play a big factor; I'm fairly sure the political split in the prepper community swung from conservative to liberal after the inauguration. The sorts of things prepared for go from the humorously outlandish (alien invasion, zombie outbreak) to honestly serious (earthquake, hurricane, and other natural disaster preparedness) to sheer tin-foil hattery (Obama commin' to take all our guns, China is going to invade, I'm just getting ready for the reptile men to come try and claim the surface world).
User2079 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:10:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They stock up on food, water, ammo, etc... in case there is a time when the sh*t hits the fan. I.e.- a zombie apocalypse is an example.
Spartacus_FPV ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 22:14:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find it hilarious how many of the ones on the show were morbidly obese. They couldn't bug out to the mailbox.
JD-King ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 22:32:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I thought we had a years supply of food?! It's only been a week what happened?"
Spartacus_FPV ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:20:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit Michael, you add water to the freeze dried food! And you don't eat our seeds!
AlwaysDefenestrated ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:50:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're just extremely dedicated peppers, down to prepping their own body to survive longer without food.
sandwichtimemachine ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:06:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why I call my beer gut "starvation insurance."
digoryk ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 21:50:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why preppers are evil.
Spartacus_FPV ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:17:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is that?
Also, do you think the hunger of the lazy squirrel gives him a claim to the nuts of the proactive one during the winter?
Sefirot8 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:35:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
do you think the proactive squirrel really has a claim?
Spartacus_FPV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To the nuts he has worked to gather, yes I do. How doesn't he?
Sefirot8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:12 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he doesnt because the concept of ownership is a human conception and has no basis in reality.
Spartacus_FPV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:12 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because something is a human conception doesn't mean it has no basis in reality. Are humans not real to you? Do humans not own things in reality?
That said, animals have the conception of ownership, of property and of loss. Hell, apes have proven to understand prostitution. Try and take from an animal what is there's and you will learn the wrath of a momma grizzly. Step into a wolves territory and try to explain to it that only humans own property, see if that saves you.
Your needs give you no claim to the property of others, looter.
Sefirot8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:14 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that is absolutely not what I said. thats a good example of strawman argument.
I said "the concept of ownership is a human conception and has no basis in reality". I didnt say if something is a human conception, then it has no basis in reality.
But lets look again. Ownership is a concept created by a social contract, animal or human. Its only real if we believe it, and we only honor that agreement if we are in a peaceful state. Just like money.
My point is that the squirrel owns nothing, and that a hungry squirrel doesnt give a shit who gathered the nuts. Neither does a hungry enough person. A squirrel gathering nuts hasnt cast a spell over them. They arent changed or marked. They just happen to be in a pile somewhere. There is only a claim if we suppose that a different squirrel watched him gather the nuts or knew, and then also agreed that "those are his". Its a fabrication of the mind which helps us coexist.
"Your needs give you no claim to the property of others, looter."
Please explain what makes something property in the first place.
_bad_apple_ ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 20:30:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe in "World War Z" the doctrine they use to defeat the zombies was developed to protect the white population in south africa from mass riots
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:46:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Draav ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:00:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just finished the audio book a few days ago. It was amazing
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:41:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Draav ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:44:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I've read it maybe 3 tones it's so fun to think and talk about. I'll check that book out
slaaitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might want to get your hands on a copy of The Good War by Studs Terkel.
Iwillnotreplytoyou ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:47:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what?
_bad_apple_ ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:54:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"World War Z" is a book by Max Brooks that is sorta a mockumentary style following the zombie apocalypse (its been defeated)
The tactics that supposedly turn the war around were originally developed to protect the white population from riots in South Africa.
They also made a movie but it was stupid
FuckingSeaWarrior ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 21:51:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: I once met Max Brooks, and he described the movie (paraphrasing) as "an action-packed thriller that shares a title with my book and not much else."
Cyno01 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:56:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hes not wrong, title aside it was an ok zombie flick if you dont mind fast zombies.
TimtheBigDaddy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:58:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beat me to it, he really wasn't wrong, the movie didn't share anything with the book but the title, which was a shame.
GrimpenMar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:09 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. The movie was fine, another well produced zombie movie like all the other ones. If I hadn't read the book, I'm sure I would have enjoyed it just fine. But the book is something unique, just fantastic. Supposedly JMS did a script that translated the books themes well for the big screen, but Brad Pitt wanted a big action blockbuster with him as the star, so that's what we got. I can't help but think that a TV miniseries is the proper format for a good adaptation of the book anyways.
TimtheBigDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:42 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would probably the best choice for an adaptation of the book, yeah.
mactroneng ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:15:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, movie wasn't bad but it didn't really follow version of zombies or what the world did that the boom did, which was disappointing.
JD-King ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:24:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was really disappointing because the book is so good! I would love if somebody did a miniseries mockumentary with artifacts and interviews and old footage of the war.
Cyno01 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:53:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the movie is ok if you dont mind fast zombies, but it had almost nothing to do with the book. Yeah, the book needs to be done as an HBO miniseries, as like Ken Burns Zombies or something.
Spackleberry ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:05:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love it. And of course they need to get Morgan Freeman to play Nelson Mandela. Hell, I'd love to see the actual celebrities in the celebrity mansion play themselves. Who wouldn't want to see Paris Hilton and Ruben Studdard wrestle over a grenade that blows them to smithereens?
Cyno01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, speaking of zombies and celebrity mansion, i just found this great mini series on netflix, Dead Set.
https://www.netflix.com/title/70229514
JD-King ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:56:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never wanted something so badly.
SuperGroverMonster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I met him at comicon a couple years back. I think he was just excited for someone to talk to, he talked my ear off for like twenty minutes. He really throws himself into his work and research. Couldn't get him to stop talking about the Harlem Hell fighters.
SEND_STEAK_PLEASE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
certified english major here. Best book i ever read
catjuggler ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:15:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BTW you can be part of this too if you volunteer with your local branch of the emergency medical reserves, which requires no specific qualifications. This also opens you up to fun volunteer opportunities of pretending to be an injured person in some sort of disaster that is training for med students- which I keep wanting to do but they're always on weekdays!
Rektoplasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, been on all three sides of this (acting, training, and coordinating); definitely get involved!
Rapturesjoy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:05:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously Oo
McGillRiot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And in this terrifying reality, you learn why preppers so often talk about a zombie apocalypse. Because it's OK to say you're getting ready to shoot zombies instead of fantasizing about killing people.
habanero_monkfish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:45:27 on February 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the government is really good at making plans that are both detailed enough to be comprehensive and effective, but also abstract enough to work for just about every eventuality.
I don't think it's FEMA, I think it's probably homeland security, but there's a system called NIMS, the national incident management system, that's robust enough that we use it to organize and orchestrate search and rescue misisons, it gets used extensively for natural disasters like katrina, but you could also use it to organize, say, parking for a big football game or for a particularly large group project.
If anyone's really curious or wants to be better prepared for disasters, they have a couple quick, free courses you can take, honestly I'd say it's worth the half hour. If nothing else it'll give you a better understanding of the structure behind an emergency response, which can't hurt. I believe it's ICS-200, 300, or maybe 800.
Erlox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a fun way to get people to prepare for disasters. If something happens it doesn't matter why you bought non-perishable food and water, it'll work just the same. And weird as it is some people are more likely to prepare for a zombie apocalypse than a freak storm or natural disaster.
ChipLady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's genius that they took something "fun" like preparing for a zombie apocalypse to trick people into being ready for an actual emergency.
burningheavy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They took notes during the Wirld of Warcraft ebola outbreak. Those nerds are smart.
Jesuslordofporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly this would be an effective way of teaching people about disaster prepardness in a fun and interesting way.
oneonetwooneonetwo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you can write "put machine guns on the tanks" in a ha ha, this is all pretend report about zombies in a way you can't when the report's about how to deal with protesters.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The CDC did the same thing because it works for natural disasters, especially with forest fires becoming more frequent.
fae-daemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently it was a fun excercise. They really pulled a lot of people into it, including heads of various medical research labs, etc. from all parts of the government, and I hear that parts of military branches got to do a fun mock sceanario
[Clarification: Not actually moving people around, but the whole 'how would we react, deploy, etc thing]
AquaeyesTardis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:44 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duct tape armour doesn't work against panademics sadly
rrobukef ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:30:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's good, USA's gonna need it.
nunsinnikes ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:54:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you link that?
impossibleeliminated ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 17:14:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if this is what OP is referring to, but I did find this "CDC - Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse"
kashi_takashi ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 17:44:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL FEMA has a section on zombie apocalypse readiness.
frogjg2003 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 18:05:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A highly contagious epidemic that kills most of its victims and forces the rest to be carriers actively trying to infect the rest. It's literally the worst case scenario for FEMA. And if you can survive the zombie apocalypse, you can easily handle trivial things like Ebola, the plague, or AIDS.
Honey_B180 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:06:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've survived ebola, the plague and AIDS, does that mean I'll survive the zombie apocalypse?
kernozlov ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:56:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm. I can see the math. Its all correct. I'm gunna have to say yes you would.
Bo_Buoy_Bandito_Bu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it cause you're a zombie?
Commissar_Sae ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:44:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise the CDC has used the corrupted blood incident in World of Warcraft as a model for bio-terrorism and epidemic research.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corrupted_Blood_incident#Models_for_real-world_research
Magnap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it'd be hard to account for griefers being much rarer IRL.
Commissar_Sae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably yeah. But you get some dedicated terrorists who infect themselves with a deadly virus and it would be pretty similar.
InWhichWitch ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:53:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
government agencies have contingencies for every possible conceivable scenario (and many, many, many inconceivable ones).
you should really expect this from many parts of the government as their modus operandi is contingency planning.
17Akra19 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:11:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could you turn it into citation form when he links it?
nunsinnikes ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:14:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure. MLA, APA, or Chicago?
KraZe_EyE ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:16:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EULA
17Akra19 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:38:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, this is the second fucking time today I've been asked that. Citation 7th style please.
totoro11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, no need to be rude to someone doing you a favor!
17Akra19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where was I rude and I see no favour has been done.
karateguy4556 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:21:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for FEMA two years ago, they ran a California state emergency test on godzilla attacking. It was amazing.
Leanonberger ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:09:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't notice at first, but my city is the setting for the comic (Savannah).
Creepiness factor increased by 10%. DD:
Wormri ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:53:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a very good way to create awareness about the importance of emergency kits. Top notch.
Asddsa76 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:43:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh come on, what a cheap cop-out ending!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't it just a general readiness kit though?food, water, flashlight, etc?
Lyn1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's best is this was released after a radio pastor preached the end of the world would be on may 11th 2011. The government was effectively trolling a senile old evangelist and it was awesome.
MrMultibeast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't have firearms listed. WTF is that?
Spartacus_FPV ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:20:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Highly politicized organization, there is a reason they're not allowed to "study" gun control anymore.
They don't want you armed.
Mudrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what about Snowball?!
mfowler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checklist is missing guns and ammo
elephasmaximus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CDC, not FEMA.
Tyranid457 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's cool!
PRMan99 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The strangest part is that the same people that make fun of our government for believing in God are perfectly okay with this.
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:11 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The difference here is that while improbable according to modern science it should be perfectly possible. There are parasites that make mice act strangely kind of like zombies. Whereas there is literally no scientific evidence that god is even remotely possible.
cascade_olympus ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:34:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the zombie apocalypse of 83'. Lost half my face in that'n... didn't grow back til 97'.
newenglandredshirt ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:24:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So would you be willing to share this treasure of a lesson with a fellow social studies teacher?
tryallthescience ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 16:57:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay I need this lesson plan so I can hand it out to teachers everywhere, because it sounds freaking amazing.
Torvaun ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 18:48:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out the NSDM (National Security Decision Making Game). I was part of the megasession at GenCon a couple years ago. Turkey managed to successfully join the EU 10 minutes before they got caught trying to help smuggle nukes to Iran from North Korea. Faced with massive sanctions, they immediately left the EU. Iran took advantage of US incompetence, and committed multiple acts of terrorism on US soil. Iran also invaded Iraq with "aid workers", which the US also failed to respond to. The US was massively dysfunctional, due in large part to certain members being unwilling or incapable of setting aside their personal biases for the roles they had (like defense-oriented republicans voting to reduce military spending by half).
It was a blast, and I would absolutely do it again.
genericname12345 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:26:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got stuck as a rural turkish region with no power when I played. Also my only goal was 'increase rural subsidies'.
Suffice to say it was NOT a blast.
tryallthescience ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds absolutely amazing and I will definitely be checking it out.
Torvaun ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:53:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My role in that one was "Eastern Military Command Turkey". I had the Coast Guard, and everything east of Ankara. I was fully cognizant of the plan to use a Turkish submarine to smuggle nukes to Iran. But you know what would have been better than Iran having nukes? Turkey having nukes. So I was going to send out a couple ships and capture our "obviously stolen" vessel. But then the US Navy got it instead, and everything went to hell.
MadamGunner ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:14:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came here looking for laughs, left finding an awesome project idea. Today for teaching ideas Reddit > teacherspayteachers
mdzzzl5 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:57:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would a teacher spay teachers?
marmoshet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:03:41 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comment of the year ๐
TryUsingScience ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:33:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In that student's defense, when reading Cat's Cradle in high school I somehow misread the back cover where it said it was fiction as saying it was non-fiction. When it started discussing Ice 9 I thought, "I always assumed this was a sci-fi thing but I guess it's real?" I got very confused when the world ended.
fuzzyapples ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:32:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took me a full minute to realize that Crowsage isn't your last name
Mr_Milenko ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its pronounced Corsage.
snarfdog ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:14:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's leviosa, not leviosa
Zjackrum ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:45:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stahp it Ron
Darthzorn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:39:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedhogwarts
Milkshakes00 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:54:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would be a pretty badass last name, though..
konzy27 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:33:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need more teachers like you. That is a very creative (and fun!) we to engage kids to learn and apply that knowledge. Bravo, sir!
Npakaderm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly related but you just triggered a repressed memory of mine. My brother-in-law has dated some really interesting women over the past couple years. One day a few months ago he, his ladyfriend, my wife and I watched the movie Armageddon. About two thirds of the way through the movie his girlfriend asked the group, "Wait, this movie is based on a true story, right? I remember reading that this was based on a true story." She had seen Armageddon before so the events that would follow in the movie weren't new to her. I simply replied, "Yes, this is based on the time that we sent a group of people on a rocket to nuke an asteroid. I clearly remember seeing that event in the news for weeks."
elizzybeth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I've taught an article from The Onion - even in the context of a unit on satire - some student has confessed that, until I confirmed in class it was fake, they'd believed it.
In fact, I've found that repeated experience so depressing that I stopped teaching articles from The Onion.
In light of our "fake news" era, though, maybe I should bring it back.
smurkDC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, i was out on a date with this girl one time, real cute, kinda ditzy, but hey you don't need to talk too much at the movies. So, the first movie was "the strangers". You know, the one where this couple is spending an evening at a rather secluded house and a couple of mask-wearing creepsters knock on the door, break in, and eventually murder them? Yeah, well at the begining of that movie it says its "based on a true story".
We decided to sneak into another movie, because fuck it why not? Well this one was "the happening" with mark wahlberg, where trees cause pretty much all of civilization to kill themselves. About three quarters into the movie, while the whole world is basically dead, she looks over to me, and goes "wait when did this happen".
kolm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped reading right there because everything following would have ruined it.
And then I went back and read the rest, and it was even better.
locogirlp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You mean if it looks like news, it's true?"
And THIS is why critical thinking and research are becoming lost arts....
WorkFlow_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes it did. It was dark times Kevin, dark times indeed.
Penqwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds amazing
carleetime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this sounds so cool!
doctorocelot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds awesome!! I'd love to run that with my form. How exactly did you work it?
ass2ass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a joke I would make.
top_raman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not clever comment lmaoooooooo!
slackslackliner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The retard is strong in this one
Grande_Latte_Enema ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
she's gonna be a wonderful mother someday
darexinfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's just calling you out and subtly saying "this shit is stupid"
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually awesome! Props to you Mr. CrowSage for being a cool teacher.
WhiteRavenMN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... how did (s)he know your Reddit username??
Pie_Gun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can i go back to highschool and have you as my teacher?
jefferlewpew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an adult but would love to be in this class it sounds so much fun. I'm not even american
BobcatOU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a US government teacher. I'd love to hear more about this lesson if you'd be willing to share.
BruC0Ndr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Americans
elitegenoside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First and least, she's dumb. More importantly, you are an awesome teacher! That sounds so freaking fun.
littlemixy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chet?
loopywolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, another school i WISHED I had gone to!
Would it be a royal pain to tell us a whole lot more how it went?
GirthInPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So now your one of those fake news dicks
LostJellySandal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You, my dude, sound like a phenominal teacher. I wish I had teachers who were passionate about their subjects and strived to make learning fun. Bravo.
hypertown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a really cool idea to get students engaged in their lesson. Good on you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That just means you did such a good job of story telling and getting the kids engaged! You did so well, you made him doubt his reality!
-C-Henn- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well did it?
Nymall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, are a hero. I;m sure there's hundreds of teachers out there who would love a copy of that lesson plan.
loverofaltmedicine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are such a cool teacher Mr.CrowSage!!!
barricuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that's when you told him that it did happen, right?
nearly_almost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's such a great assignment. Thank you for being a teacher who actually cares and enjoys teaching.
xenha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In our english class we did something similar. Students were paired up and given 1 chapter of 'World War Z' to read, which is done in unique perspectives of different countries experience with the zombie outbreak.
We then had a fake UN conference with each pair representing that country. Was a really cool day.
needsmorecoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is such a great way to keep your students interested!
Choblach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really jealous of your students right now. Question, do you allow adults to come in and participate?
Viconahopa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a government teacher, can I have that lesson plan?
Prof_Black ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys had zombie scenarios? Man we never had anything this cool at school to work with.
Rapturesjoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow that actually sounds pretty awesome
saqib126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like a cool teacher.
localbees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of the cool younger teachers at my high school would run a Zombie Apocalypse Survival seminar on the last few days of school. There was always this random week after finals that descended into more or less anarchy, and they decided to have fun with it.
They would have dozens of kids jammed into each class room, learning about all kinds of zombie stuff. My favorite was the "zombie documentary discussion board" that was just a long talk about the best zombie movies.
qwertyson96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck that's brilliant XD
MusicalCereal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would suggest she educate herself by reading the news more often. My principal got me to do that and I really appreciated it, helps me keep informed. Parents really shouldn't shield kids from that, those are life skills they need.
Runbunnierun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Now being pocketed for my husband
TinyNuggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate's mother asked me if The Martian was based on a true story...
whiskerbiscuitohyeah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds amazing! Do you have a lesson plan posted anywhere?
kimchiface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds awesome! I wish i was as ambitious with my planning.
rabaltera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you be willing to share the LP? It sound like an awesomr activity I could build in for a few random days before a break.
CardboardSoyuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a great way to do government! You should post a guide to how you set that up.
Some_Weeaboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you replace my history class
DrinkDrankDrunkest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach Gov as well and would love to do a sim like that. I have my kids run a mock Gov through the whole semester. Anyplace I can find this?
generic_person2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Model UN new york?
2016nsfwaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine in 10 years kids reading about Trump saying that.
wesmt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name really Mr Crowsage? - I asked this question but not to a teacher named that.
lovevodkaorthesea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the coolest way to teach about government EVER!
Kingofwhereigo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that sounds cool and would make a great game or app.
fortunatedad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My father is Mr. CrowSage Alice, please, call me Jim."
*pours cognac
Zomg_A_Chicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus points if he really called you Mr. CrowSage
it4chl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would take it as a compliment. the stories felt that real
severoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha omg!
So did it?
rbwildcard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get that same question for everything we read, including "Flowers for Algernon" and "The Most Dangerous Game".
Islandkid679 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, zombies do exist. if you look in the mirror Taylor, you'll see a prime specimen."
Ounceofwhiskey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My experience isn't as cool as what you do, but I had a 5th grade teacher who turned our lesson on the discovery and early colonization of the Americas into a RPG where we all were split into teams with each member having a different role on the ship. I remember flipping the game on its ear by convincing my shipmates to be pirates and board other ships in the night to steal their food, water, and repair supplies. She made us roll die for everything we wanted to do and somehow we always succeeded.
We got to dress like sailors for a month and the winning team went to the teacher's house for dinner.
slightlyamused1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, good for you. Teachers that go out of their way to make things interesting are a rare breed and I hope you know you're forever appreciated. I actually have never reached out to a teacher to thank them but I keep meaning to thank one specific one and I still haven't. I've always wanted to write her a hand written note because she was always very particular about handwriting and if you want to apply the term grammar nazi to anyone it should be her. I had better grammar in 8th grade than people I know now (in my mid twenties). God thanks again for reminding me. I'm literally doing it when I end this sentence.
zeevlewis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CrowSage is an interesting last name. German, isn't it?
dementedpixie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you are willing to share, I would love to see a copy of this lesson plan.
HalfManHalfCyborg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No, of course not... and how the hell do you know my Reddit username?"
gino188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this sounds like an awesome activity! do you have it shared?
WittiestScreenName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:20 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to take this class.
adriellealways ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:14 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is just fantastic. The assignment, not the student.
Justinjah91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:06 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im going to assume that your actual name is Mr. CrowSage.
Z_star ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:09 on February 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can u be in your class next semester..Just tell me where and I show up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a similar thing....The whole class flunked except my 2 freidns and I. Jessica goody-two-shoes was busy running a democracy with 30 kids who couldn't agree on shit. My buddies and I seceded, formed a roman triumvirate, declared martial law, and solved the "problem" in 2 days. Then we just fucked around, until the teacher realized we were fucking around and then stopped the assignment and gave us As
onceuponafloof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we petition [the life-sucking piece of shit] College Board to add this to the AP Government curriculum? This would have made my class SO much more interesting!
deepfriedkelp ยท 12818 points ยท Posted at 14:22:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a teacher's assistant in a 5th grade class. A few weeks ago a girl asked,"Are bears still real?"
Bottom_of_the_bottle ยท 905 points ยท Posted at 16:13:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the bear passed out of all knowledge
Minas-Harad ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 16:41:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legends fade to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.
In one Age, called the Bear Age by some...
mumblingstumbler ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:01:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An age yet to come, an age long past...
Rand al'thor is the bear reborn
LordoftheSynth ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:08:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reincarnation of Yogi Therin Bearamon, also known as Basketslayer.
Islandkid679 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:28:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his noble companion BooBoo Booson
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:38:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing about that: people in the past, before advanced weapons, were scared of bears (for obvious reasons), and thought that saying the name of a bear would summon one. So they called them "the brown ones", e.g. "bears". The original name for them was forgotten.
stationhollow ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:58:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This could be true or it could be a complete fantasy created by you so i will just walk away and forget it ever happened.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:14:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.pitt.edu/~votruba/qsonhist/bearetymologyslovakenglishwelsh.html (Actually, we do know what the original word was, but not exactly how it was pronounced.)
TenBunnySandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We live in the Age of Bullshit, so your plan seems sound.
kevingranade ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:13:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so "brown bears" are "brown bowns"?
AUserNeedsAName ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:54:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not only that, but the brown bear's scientific name, Ursus Arctos literally means "bear bear".
RocktimusCrime ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:01:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to bears, and even bears are long forgotten when the Age that gave them birth comes again.
General_Question ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:03:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Words that used to have meanings, but that died out or survived only in idiomatic expressions. Like 'dancing bear.' What's a bear, do you know?"
"I don't know. I always thought it was some kind of graceful bird."
"Wrong. It's an ancient mammal. Known only on Earth, I think, and not brought here. Or it died out soon. It was bigger than a man, very powerful. A predator."
"And it danced?" "The expression used to mean something absurdly clumsy. Like a dog walking on its hind legs."
"And now it means the opposite. That's weird. How could it change?"
"Because there aren't any bears. The meaning used to be obvious, because everybody knew what a bear was and how clumsy it would look dancing. But when the bears were gone, the meaning could go anywhere."
Mr_Jones_The_Cat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:26:25 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing! I never realized that these kinds of conversations could happen in the future! I'm definitely looking for an opportunity to put something like this in my sci-fi story. Thanks!
UnderCoverOfDanknezz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:11:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Massively underrated comment
iamtoastshayna69 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:22:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for LotR reference. And boyfriend says he would have yelled at her "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!"
Sefirot8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how long would that actually take? I have a hard time imaging that happening. especially with people that tend to live forever hanging around. did he mean passed out of common knowledge? whats going on here, especially with a conflict that engaged almost everybody.
slaaitch ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:09:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The importance of the rings was known only to those entrusted with them. Those who discovered that the One Ring could control the others learned it only by falling under its sway and betraying their allies in Sauron's favor. Isildur knew it was intensely powerful, but died before discovering its properties. It is likely that Galadriel, Gandalf, and Elrond had some idea how important it was, but it was lost before they could move to destroy it.
And for two and a half thousand years, it passed out of all knowledge.
Sefirot8 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:47:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH!! holy shit this makes so much more sense, and makes the whole thing more meaningful. thank you. Ive read hobbit, fellowship and 1/2 return king. However from the movies, it kinda makes it seem like everyone knows about the ring i guess
Arancaytar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:19:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The bear-ringer.
Erunamo99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is rare that I bother to sign in on mobile safari, but I did in order to up vote this post.
Squatting-Bear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โThe Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.โ
โ Robert Jordan
111SoleSurvivor111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:00 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just watched fellowship of the ring for the first time last weekend, and only now have I noticed lord of the ring references everywhere. It feels like a new world has been opened to me lol
cousins_and_cattle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:18 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is there no r\accidentalWoT
SHAMROCK_ME_YOUR_PM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:56 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mister Grylls is definitely real alive and kicking
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:43 on February 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sick reference bro
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 7353 points ยท Posted at 15:54:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica. One of these things is not real. You decide.
captainAwesomePants ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:25:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I've seen Battlestar Galactica, so I know that's real. And I've eaten beets, so I know they're real, and I've seen bears at the zoo, so I know they're real, and so I must conclude that the only thing on this list that is completely imaginary is Galactica 1980, a spinoff in which the Battlestar Galactica crew discover 1980s Earth and send the children to Earth school undercover.
SmokeDan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:15:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was that a thing?
captainAwesomePants ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:34:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, of course not. I just proved that it must be imaginary. Any evidence to the contrary must be imaginary as well.
SmokeDan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:43:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't look like anything to me
Jahkral ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:12:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait no how could this have ever happened wtf?
Tar_alcaran ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:49:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There also isn't a comic, In which they go full Mormon
Shadows802 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What wait?
tinyporcelainunicorn ยท 301 points ยท Posted at 16:09:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bears eat beets
Sa-lads ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 16:13:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But which bear is best?
SiegfriedLyons ยท 255 points ยท Posted at 16:14:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
False. Black Bear
Daedalus871 ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 17:17:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's debatable. There are two schools of thought.
WhosTheRealRobot ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:42:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imitation is the highest form of flattery
One_Son_of_Rod ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:16:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year
_vasilly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:49:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MICHAEEELLLLLLLL
WhosTheRealRobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael!
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 19:51:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And one of them is wrong. I think it's OK to call bullshit bullshit, even if a small but vocal minority is offended, but that's illegal in some places regarding some subjects. Hashtag MakeBullshitBullshitAgain.
KeebeeNacho ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:04:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Dwight
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:10:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know...
technologicaldude ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 17:05:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
awesomeness0232 ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 18:12:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MICHAEL!
bbrown44221 ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 18:26:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's real fun- MICHAEL!
VerticalMindset ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost had it. Dwight's line is "Oh that's funny - MICHAEL!"
manawesome326 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Vsauce, Michael here.
SmoobBlob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which brings the total cost to... Eleven dollars
blue_dreams ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 18:55:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE, JIM. MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR!
RicoSuave1881 ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 18:10:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Identity theft is a serious crime Jim
panthersfan04 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:27:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Millions of families suffer every year!
tommyfknshelby ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:37:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MICHAEL!
FatFriar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:44:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MICHAEL!
actual_factual_bear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm
nom_cubed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternative bears only.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Red bear
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, Aang. It just says... bear.
_PrestonGarvey_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:43 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
beets me.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:19:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chicago
doctorocelot ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spectacled bear (the only bear native to South America) , or maybe a himalayan blue (the bear responsible for the Yeti myth)
AustinTransmog ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:49:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But Battlestar Galactica beets bears.
NormalMacdonald ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But battlestar bombs both....
nerdalertO_0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which bear is best?
aboxacaraflatafan ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:13:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever heard of a beet? Boy, I wish my buddy Bill Adama were here. We would laugh and laugh at the silly biscuit who believes that beets are a thing.
IAMA_Drunk_Armadillo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:24:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets? Sounds like a trick made up by the gods damned Cylons.
Kichigai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fracking chromedomes!
michaelcmetal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the correct answer.
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meaning Bill Adama heard if the false concept of beets
ruin ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:11:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bear McCreary is real. Does that mean Battlestar Galactica is real.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuck i really liked beets
gogetakakaroot ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MICHAEL!
InvictusManeo97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that funnyโMICHAEL!
CriticalSwass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy gets it.
ConfettiHunter ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:16:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Battlestar Galactica all the way
Vaultgirl666 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:24:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So say we all!
IAMA_Drunk_Armadillo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:25:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has happened before, this will all happen again.
suredoit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this will get reposted sooner or later.
KittyGray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a cat named Helo. He's pretty awesome.
Squarecro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He awesomely knocked up my DigiPet
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You called?
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those days when your username checks out. I live for Parks & Rec threads for the same reason.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the little things in life man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Greg Bear...
kahnpro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets by Dr Bears
elitegenoside ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've have seen both a bear and a DVD of battlestar galactica, but no beets. I'm glad, I've never watched battlestar, but beets are gross.
psymonprime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer beers, beats, and Battlestar Galactics.
_boboddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not real, man!
TastyBrainMeats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bears and Battlestar. We had to drop the beet.
EcoSlaves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm watching the office right now. Go you
xxdsidexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MICHEAL!!!!
lead999x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It must be the bears. So say we all...
takeachillpill666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fact: Bears eat beets.
clutchpowers243 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT!!
Unglossed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buck Rodgers is the realist.
6-_-j ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please god let it be beets
SweetToothKane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it's beets.
antsugi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The period, because the previous 3 never truly end
hahaha01357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Going by the comment you're replying to, I'm going to guess beets. Am I right?
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually like beets. My dad liked them growing up and mom always served them. Guess it's just something you don't realize is weird until you realize it's weird.
mocisme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please be beets! I can do without those ever sneaking into my salad.
DBUX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Identity theft is not a joke Jim! Dozens of people suffer from it ever year.
golfing_furry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets. They're a crappy headphone
Bubbles338 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FACT.
Centurion00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll go with beets, I hope all the red stained shit was a dream.
tylerdwalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets
FeralMuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reality is not a joke, Jim! Millions suffer every year!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EPIB RAPBADDOLS OF HIDOR- wait this wasn't a rap, was it?
tdeasyweb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen Battlestar Galactica and bears, but I don't think I've ever seen a beet.
BeingofUniverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn! I knew beets were a myth.
MrBiggz01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets. Its totally spelled beats.
Levitlame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I choose beets. Make it so.
FriendlyPastor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's easy I pick beets
cheeks52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Beets are a fictitious band from the TV show Doug. Duh.
peteypete420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ive seen bears, eaten beets, and played battlestar galactica last night... They are all real!
barricuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I'd rather Battlestar Galactica than beets. This is how common sense works in this century right? Sorry, I'm still getting acclimated.
fUnderdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MICHAEL!
cartwheelnurd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two eyes. Two ears. A nose. A mouth. Two legs. A penis. I have just described to you the loch Ness monster. And the reward for his capture? all the riches in Scotland. So I ask you: what are you still doing here?
TheGantra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
False
Shumatsuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets. Bears are real, and the new Battlestar Galactica is just a history documentary.
scoobyduped ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I choose beets.
broodgg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MICHAEL!
YouWontBelieveWhoIAm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
False. All 3 are real.
laebshade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to live a life where beets aren't real.
_Morbidly_Obese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the fracking cylon!
Feneric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please let it be beets.
Phalkyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the toaster.
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bears, 100%.
Jesuslordofporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm beet.
Tiafves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets of course. You expect me to believe we'd be farming something nobody likes and it actually gets sold too?
ThegreatPee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I've never seen a Beet before.
Sneezegoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should have used potatoes is stead of beets. It would fuck up the aliteration but whatever.
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a line form the Office.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N8d86Kjl1dg
dontcallme_white ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can choose? Fuck beets then. Theyre gone
illestprodigy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imma go with B. Beets.
tylercreatesworlds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Identify theft is not a joke
HerpaDerpaShmerpadin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL CYLONS.
ValkornDoA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd take Cylons over beets any day. They taste like sugary dirt.
AssholeNeighborVadim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Battlestar Galactica is not real!
Beets go in soup and bears are for riding on.
The_niteman_cometh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just beets? Or The Beets? ...I may have watched too much doug as a child
Pergatory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew it!! People always talk about beets but I've never seen or eaten one. I knew they were fake! The unnatural color was the giveaway.
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets.
hobo_champ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets me.
SaturdayMorningSwarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets. Beets aren't real, never heard of no beet before.
DominusAstra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NICK OFFERMAN ISNT REAL
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You shut your mouth!
Isthisgoodenoughyet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
beets, I hate beets
MarvelousComment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
do i have to decide which one i think it is or which one i want it to be?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
here, you dropped this
shinigami_88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to believe it's beets.
mystimel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think beets weren't real cause I only saw them in the cartoon "Doug"
Maximus125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
beets.
everlastingSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try, dude. You can't trick me! Obviously, beets aren't real!
Stebee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gold!
team-evil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got some alternative facts regarding that statement.
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely beets. Only time I've ever heard of those was Ed Edd and Eddy
CrazyAsian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jackie Chan. SHIT
SerLava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not real, man.
JoJackthewonderskunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets. It's beets.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely beets. I'm pretty sure vegans are a myth.
Corr521 ยท 246 points ยท Posted at 16:09:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this girl who was convinced that buffalo were extinct. She then topped it off by saying "didn't they go extinct along with the Native Americans?"
Edit: For all those saying that buffalo went or almost went extinct, that's really not the part of what she said that concerned me most.
TheDemonicEmperor ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:15:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, I thought that was true (not the Native American part of course)? Didn't the American bison that the Natives on the plains hunted go extinct at some point or were at least severely endangered by the railroad building? I seem to remember reading about that in history class at some point
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 18:29:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know, it's weird, I could swear I was taught this as well. I've heard other people who were also taught this.
My working theory is that they actually were hunted to extinction, but only in the Berenstein universe.
ki113r116 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:58:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Via Wikipedia: Bison were hunted almost to extinction in the 19th century. Less than 100 remained in the wild by the late 1880s.
Virtually extinct. Only an estimated 350,000 today.
JustJoeWiard ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:05:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, was taught that they were extinct. Damn you, American education system!
Sefirot8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
American education: if it kinda true, but simpler to teach, we are going to tell you that instead.
*also see: the Bohr model of the atom, found in a highschool classroom near you!
HBStone ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:06:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What year did we all hop universes? Because I remember being taught that they were hunted to extinction as well
Surfing_Ninjas ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:16:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it was a very common rumor that the American buffalo was extinct prior to the internet and people couldn't just look it up, I also remember this growing up.
Arancaytar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I definitely remember being surprised hearing that there are still bison.
everythingscopacetic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:38:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
former berenstein bear parallel universe inhabitant checking in, along with two other guys i see commenting above me. i also remember being taught they were hunted to extinction by frontiersmen as a big middle finger to the native american people
sadmep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my timeline, it was the scoops on trains in the west.
outerheavenboss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck not this again...
toastiezoe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:52:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sticking to this, cuz I looked dumb as fuck when I was talking about extinct buffalo in college.
jhs172 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could swear I killed the last ones in Red Dead Redemption.
adedward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vaguely recall being given a trophy for it...
134CKH4TWH1T3H4T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in buffalo country (Nebraska), we were taught that the Buffalo were hunted to near extinction, and were pretty much extinct in the wild at one point. The slaughter of American Bison was systematic, the Army even endorsed the practice, the railroad companies hired hunters, offered bounties on bison, and even encouraged passengers to shoot at bison from the train. They weren't even hunted for meat, the western settlers most valued their hides and bones (which they used for fertilizer), most of the carcasses were just left to rot, but mostly they were hunted to near extinction because they were in the way.
PhoenixJay88 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:33:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just looked this up. They did get really close to extinction in the late 1800s, but they have made a recovery since then.
deaddodo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:28:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this was actually taught in school. I think it's so widespread due to the Simpsons episode.
That being said, they did come damn close...so probably conflation from there.
PolyNecropolis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:57:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were killed for meat and fur, and pretty much hunted into extinction. Not by natives, but by the settlers and people moving into the great plains. Wyatt Earp worked with a couple guys and was killing and skinning bison before he became a lawman.
Pictures like this tell the tale...
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sSxThL7UV_8/U6hvuOqkw2I/AAAAAAAAJfo/ZkXWZdszdZ8/s1600/Bison+skulls+pile+to+be+used+for+fertilizer+,+1870.jpg
Railroad was only a part in their near extinction in that it brought a lot of building, business, and people to the great plains. But it was greed and money that killed the bison.
Abodyhun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, but there are very few pureblood buffalo herds. Turns out they can breed with our cows and "beefaloes" make up the bulk of most herds today.
G_reth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seems to be another After Death (Anno Dominni)
scotchirish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe all the bison in the US territories were wiped out, and that the species was revitalized from Canadian herds. Or that could just be more bullshit being taught.
justaboxinacage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Yellowstone bison herds are the only existing (plains bison) herd that has continuously existed throughout their history. There are also wood bison herds that have done the same in Northern Canada. The rest of the North American Bison were re-introduced. There's also European bison that we thought went extinct for a while.
ButcherPetesMeats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are partially correct. Bison were killed in mass numbers for sport and left to rot in the late 1800's. At one point only several hundred were left alive.
Since then they have repopulated and are classified as near threatened. You can even buy bison meat at most grocery stores in America. Take a look next time you are in the meat section. It's actually quite tasty, makes a good burger.
JetstreamGW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:45 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I recall correctly, it wasn't even always for sport. Some of it was a deliberate attempt to wipe out several tribes' primary food supply.
Agsqwg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They became almost extinct here in Canada because wuen he railroad was built hunters would sit on the train and just shoot them when they passed by. This was to starve the natives
defaultsubsaccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I was taught this as well and then I took a road trip and saw one. I just sort of kept it a secret how surprised I was. I was happily surprised and impressed, but I could have sworn I was told they were extinct.
justaboxinacage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The herd of bison found in Yellowstone are the only continuously existing herd of (plains) bison. There are also wood bison that have continuously existed in herds in Canada. Besides those exceptions, North American bison don't exist in the wild except where they've been reintroduced, mostly in National and State/Provincial parks.
SourNotesRockHardAbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They've might've been extinct in the wild/only surviving in protected swaths of land. I know there were tons of conservation efforts, but they're still endangered today and it's been over a hundred years.
you_got_fragged ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:56:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well did they?!
MrNudeGuy ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:38:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Native American I feel like a unicorn.
m0nkeyv00d00 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:06:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see your horn, MrNudeGuy.
MrNudeGuy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:19:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
make a wish!
CaptainMorganUOR ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:33:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How far down the horn do I have to get for the wish to come true?
m0nkeyv00d00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:36:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put your clothes back on, please
MrNudeGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take your off
metametafuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since you exist you must actually be a Narwhal
MrNudeGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know Narwhal's are real but I just don't believe in them.
Levitlame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They say Unicorn will only show themselves to virgins. And here you are on Reddit...
TheMightyBagel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:02:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's not that bad because the american bison was hunted nearly to extinction in the 1800s
scotchirish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well there's also the whole "...along with the Native Americans" part...
Rodents210 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:06:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've known a lot of people who think buffalo are extinct.
FrankieGg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:07:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhh... I was taught that buffalo went extinct...
what the fuck
notapi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/BU47EyGHZdM This is just some really good CGI.
FrankieGg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeh
scotchirish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because they're using models, like they did in Jurassic Park. It's a lost art.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:29:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they came closer to extinctions than is healthy.
A5H13Y ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they were endangered at one point, which may have been where that came from.
Borsolino6969 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_bison
uptokesforall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They went extinct because they didn't get on Noah's ark.
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why I found that so funny, but I laughed for a solid minute at that. Thank you.
Awordofinterest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.fws.gov/bisonrange/timeline.htm
zaphod_beeble_bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is really not dumb as we've heard countless times that buffalo were hunted into extinction
Corr521 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't find the fact that she said Native Americans went extinct dumb? I thought it was pretty dumb lol
robot_lords ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:40:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's thinking about population decline of bears due to human activity.
:(
EvanHarper ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:04:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's humorously misphrased but it's pretty obvious what she meant, and it's a reasonable question.
tolerablerone ยท 939 points ยท Posted at 15:26:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if things keep going the way they are, this will be a perfectly legitimate question in the future. Maybe the kid was just precocious.
EDIT: I now understand that bears are doing well lately. Thank you, everyone, for the heartwarming reminders. But climate change and deforestation are still things, and still a threat to these bears. And yes, I know what "prescient" means.
11181514 ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 16:04:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a time traveler.
ParanoydAndroid ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 17:05:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Few records survive from the early 21st century. All they know is everything went wrong "the day the bears left Chicago". So they search, sifting timelines from a thousand universes hoping to find the inflection point, the single moment that reverberates through humanity's future like the ringing of a cracked bell, and do whatever they can to stop it.
Or she just hates Bears. Whatever.
wangkerd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:49:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So long, and thanks for all the honey
Levitlame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least there's a bright side...
RawMeatyBones ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What they didn't know, was that those records talked about the time when the Bears decided to move the franchise to Los Angeles...
tiltedlens ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:36:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If so, this is a really shitty time period got them to go back to
11181514 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 16:37:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or some major shit is about to go down that involves bears
VikingTeddy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:15:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are the only way to stop Helios.
whosallwho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're off mission Traveler
LordSoren ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:43:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Queue the Bear Cavalry memes!
unassuming_squirrel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:22:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing we will have guns in schools to stop them!
BuddyUpInATree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you eat the bear; and sometimes, well, the bear eats you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she wanted to see the last bear before we make them go extinct
DiabloConQueso ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:18:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes? Bears are still around? Whoops, overshot my destination by a few decades..."
Happyburger123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She might have been checking if she had gone back to the right time period, seeing how far back she was.
killermoose25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Traveler 081275 welcome to the 21st
BlueFish_Silver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the Berenstein bears.
bradorsomething ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:46:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try, timeline jumper.
Happyburger123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She might have been checking if she had gone back to the right time period.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, they are still real? Damn it, wrong epoch."
Mad_Hatter_Bot ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:07:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully they get a good draft pick that will turn things around.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:24:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
California grizzlies are extinct :(
Canopenerdude ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:20:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The word you're looking for is prescient.
tolerablerone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, kind sir, for finding this word for me. I have never heard or seen or heard it before, nor did I consider using it earlier today before deciding "precocious" might be funnier. I have a mere bachelor's degree in the use of English words, and I see now that my money was wasted.
foster_remington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also doubted your usage until I looked it up and realized "precocious" and "Precocial" are not forms of the same word. So your dialogue with canopenerdude was obviously a teaching point designed for me. Thanks!
tolerablerone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:58:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaand I just learned a new word (and went on a little etymology stroll)! Thanks!
Canopenerdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even sure you know what it means.
tolerablerone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:26:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, why would I deploy all that sass if I a) didn't already know the word or b) didn't take a second to look it up on the Google? Alas, I lack the prescience to avoid engaging with compulsive mansplainers.
Canopenerdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're from tumblr. My bad.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:05:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
anttirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...do you actually know what precocious means?
ddosn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apart from grizzlies and maybe polar bears (although their populations have been increasing), I dont think I heard of any other species of bear suffering from decreasing numbers.
Artemicionmoogle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Betsy DeVos was right when she said bears were a threat to schools! She must know of some growing bear rebellion.
On a totally serious note, I don't feel it was a stupid question. The white rhino is nearing extinction, and the western black rhino was declared extinct in 2011. It's sad but I think we are going to hear this kind of question more often sooner than we might like.
LordChuKKleZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess she needs a lesson on those school grizzlies
Leohond15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So real they're considered the biggest threat to American public schools.
frostburner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most bears are actually on an increase in total numbers actually.
LucubrateIsh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have sources on that?
I have no idea how accurate that is. Polar bears and Grizzlies are encountering a lot of troubles, but I don't know much about Black Bear numbers and they would be most bears.
frostburner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brown and American Black Bears are both considered to be of Least Concern conservation status, and as far as I know have been on a population increase. Polar Bears are considered Vulnerable. There is also the Asian Black Bear which is considered Vulnerable. Most of the highest concern are the Eurasian isolated pockets of subspecies, like the Himalayan and Marsican Brown bears.
tolerablerone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:15:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much like a cold day in the middle of a global warming trend, this doesn't disprove the overall damage we're doing to wildlife and delicate ecosystems. But points for two "actually"s in the same sentence!
frostburner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying it is, just that it's not necessarily true for bears. Some bears, but not bears in general.
attorneyatslaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the US bear populations are growing like crazy Black bears anyway.
mountainunicycler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
precocious: having the qualities or abilities of an adult at a young age
Did you mean prescient maybe?
tolerablerone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:44:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes hello I do know a thing or two about English words. Listen, mansplainers, if adults can see the Earth is going to shit then so can precocious children.
MightyEskimoDylan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you assume it is mansplanation? Women also have the ability to think they're smarter than other people on the internet.
Check your privilege.
tolerablerone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good point! I made assumptions based on usernames and gender stereotypes. But they might be ladies who needed to go out of their way to correct someone, who knows! Points for that, but points deducted for the "check your privilege" non sequitur. I do not think that means what you think it means.
MightyEskimoDylan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, as a CIS white male I think I know better than anyone what "check your privilege" means.
In this case, it happens to mean: "I can't believe I'm making a post this close to SJW bullshit; I must make fun of myself while doing so to preserve my precious self-identity."
ZZDownloader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the kid was just [insert word to big for reddit]
EvyEarthling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was probably worried about the bear attacks Betsy DeVos claims are plaguing our schools.
sweet-lemonade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah shit, and here i was going to have a day off from being reminded about climate change. woe.
Taggy2087 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nahhhhhh Bears have healthy populations on nearly every continent. Grizzlies were on the endangered list and now they aren't same with pandas. So this question is still stupid but it is cute.
frnky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a completely legit question in the present. I've barely ever seen any of the wild animals they tell you about in early school, as even if they exist in nature, they tend to enhabit areas far away from cities. They are perfectly fictional to me, and I'm 21. I may have seen a hare once and several times a mouse...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good. Fuck bears. Terrifying.
Bad_Hum3r ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 15:09:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't leave us hanging dude. Are they real?
blackburn009 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:27:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were real at the time the question was asked
keanedawg ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:16:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but what about now?
TheOilyHill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
now they are a falsehood planted by the devil to supplant god's jesus teaching.
Damon_Bolden ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:17:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wikipedia seems to refer to them in the present tense, but a guy on Yahoo answers said they're a myth created by the Illuminati to keep people out of the woods, so there's no definitive answer.
Dreamcast3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that time I saw a bear at the zoo was actually fake then
aksoullanka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well let me edit the wikipedia then.
donkanonji ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:27:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the "still" that really makes this weird.
aMaltClocker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:41:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think so, I think this was just a 5th grade way of asking if they are extinct. Kinda stupid but not even close to stupid enough to be this high in the thread.
DestinyTurtle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:47:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bears were momentarily real, but they will soon return to the imagination.
Homer00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she just found out about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Now she's worried that maybe all bears are fake too.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 16:13:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That girl's name? Betsy Devos.
laanglr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Extra credit for you my friend!
Cedira ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:02:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How Can Bears Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?
temp0ra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies
bearlikerawwr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:13:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not after the accident.
mouse_attack ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:18:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an inverse reaction when I was a kid and my uncle had the baseball game on the radio. They were talking about the giants in San Francisco. I was like: "Oh shit--I thought giants were make-believe. Who is going to save the people of San Francisco!"
CopaceticGatsby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the best part about this is the "still". Like she knew they used to be real, but now they 're all faux bears.
mysoldierswife ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha I'm from Washington, not too far from Portland, OR, and bear sightings are really common. My neighbor was killed when she hit one while driving. Unrelated; when I was traveling once someone asked me if "the cowboys and Indians are dangerous". It was a very awkward silence while I tried to figure out if they were kidding or not...
mildly_amusing_goat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She just asked the question one generation early.
Tawny_Harpy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, up until I was nineteen, I thought armadillos were made up. I had never seen one in real life.
An ex boyfriend finally proved they were real.
12DollarLargePizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister only recently found out that dinosaurs actually existed. She also installed several different anti-virus programs and realized that they might all be viruses after noticing that they were all detecting conflicting amounts of "threats". A few days later she was scared that "blue Google Chrome" (the open-source version of Chrome called Chromium) was a virus. She turned 22 a month ago.
Doingitwronf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry child. Not for much longer!
wonderwallpersona ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Bern Stein Bears aren't.
TheFunkEngine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best one
TrikKastral ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:28:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give Trump a few more weeks and it won't be a stupid question.
PumpTheTrumpet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:03:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hes anti-gay?
Am_ugly_and_proud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:04:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure he loves lesbians.
Infinite901 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ask his VP
LegendOfPublo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in Delaware, they live in all the surrounding states but they were hunted to extinction there.
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Austria this would make sense, since all reintroduced bears and lynxes magically disappeared.
dgsiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Still' has really peaked my curiosity here. I think I need to know what she knows about bears.
Ptylerdactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is amazing because it implies to me that the student is fully aware that bears were at least real at some point in the past, but they're dubious as to the current reality status of bears.
cocaine_blood_bath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We live in a time where the current presidential administration is touting alternative facts. Everyone doesn't live in the same reality anymore.
CaptainMallard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, are they?
toastyghost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not according to whitehouse.gov
lolyesok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well are they?
Pethoarder4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but this one depressed me quite a bit.
jiveabillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was just checking
chodumadan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fun fact, 'bear' is not the actual name given to that animal. the actual name is forgotten. because it was believed that saying that name would cause the animal to appear. so it was just called 'brown' or 'bruin'... and we get bear from that.
EmptySuet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen The Revenant?
MooseFlyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably heard about the endangered status of polar bears.
Double_Hyphen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bears are a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese
attorneyatslaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just barely
choking_on_air ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm convinced pandas are people in costume.
You cannot convince me otherwise, I reject your reality and substitute my own.
I'm 26.
JeffThePenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't find this one stupid, just adorably tragic.
DoWnhillll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin was following behind his friends in a car once, and while they were stopped, they spotted a mother bear and her cubs on the side of the road. His friend in the car in front, got OUT of her car, and started to walk toward them. He got out, and yelled at her to get the fuck back in her car, which she did. Turns out, she had no idea how dangerous they were. First time she ever seen them, and just thought they were cuddly creatures.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Polar bears won't be for long
buttermelonMilkjam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wel... soon polar bears wont be so she aint all that wrong :/
pie_onk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL there's some dystopian future where time is referenced by the date bears became extinct.
champagnehurricane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking oath they are Janet.
personalpostsaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that was actually kind of cute
dizisphu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
only battle star galactica bears
stevethecow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming she meant polar bears.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
stevethecow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh
anonymous_subroutine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe her parents told her Santa wasn't real the night before.
zuquack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She just wanted to make sure they weren't an alternative fact.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one doesn't seem so far fetched. Most people go their entire lives without seeing a real bear but teddy bears are everywhere.
Matcat5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is showing me why I couldn't be a teacher. I would deadpan say no that they just went extinct about 50-75 years ago.
ScarletCaptain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"They didn't used to be, but thanks to global warming they are now."
AskMeAboutMyBandcamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, just just wear assless chaps and funny hats now ;)
ging3rtabby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she's concerned about extinction?
weirdasianfaces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly I was in class my sophomore year of high school and a friend of mine who wasn't very bright asked me to go over the story of the pilgrims with her. She was apparently volunteering with preschoolers or something (she wanted to be a teacher) and she just wanted to make sure she covered everything. I get to the part about turkeys and she asks, "Turkeys? Those are real?"
staciarain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna go ahead and vouch for this girl - when you grow up being told about santa, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy, unicorns, leprechauns, frosty the snowman, bigfoot, dragons, centaurs, the loch ness monster... you're just fucking inundated with these awesome fairytale creatures and it's not always immediately obvious that they're not real.
I think sometimes kids find out about most of them and then later they'll be like "Wait... what? Yetis aren't real either? Damn! Okay, are bears even real then!?"
Mjrfrankburns ยท 12497 points ยท Posted at 14:27:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do islands not float away? Really big anchors. He wrote it down.
Spruce-mousse ยท 5428 points ยท Posted at 15:57:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny when a kid thinks this, scary when its a member of Congress!
merlac ยท 1943 points ยท Posted at 16:20:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE
edit: from the wikipedia
...
edit: So I'm gonna put a fat disclaimer here: I'm not so sure anymore that this is as clear of an example of stupidity as it seems to be at first glance. It might be the case that Johnson actually is a 'tremendous deadpan'. It was fun to believe that a member of the House of Representatives could actually be that stupid, but come on, guys. Even the dude who presented 'cold snow' as proof that earth was not actually getting warmer at all didn't think that islands could capsize. I don't like getting caught pulling off this kind of politics-bashing and neither should anyone of you, especially at times where irrational hatred resulting out of a misunderstanding of traditional politics that is fueled by politics-bashing made an actual sociopath president. Just saying: Be fair to people, be fair to politicians, especially if the only thing at your hands is 5 sentences from a hearing's recordings on YouTube.
comment that made me doublecheck and post this edit
also, read this.
edit: also, if you really want to see someone who's abysmally incompetent, check out Gรผnther รttinger.
edit: I'm fully aware that I let 1,1k upvotes happen before editing. have fun counterstatementing that.
[deleted] ยท 616 points ยท Posted at 16:27:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sfp33 ยท 273 points ยท Posted at 16:31:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Washington D.C.: Where there is either too much sarcasm or none at all.
pops_secret ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 16:34:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm afraid all of our ducks have come to roost and the perpetual deadpan, sarcastic millennial's buffoonery is being co-opted by actual imbecile politicians.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 16:40:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just wait until politicians are dabbing in the middle of a Senate confirmation hearing for President Kanye West's pick for Secretary of State in an effort to seem "cool".
FBIDIRECTOR ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 16:44:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop predicting the future. I still haven't seen season 5.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:41:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll be lucky if we get past the first ten episodes of season 1.
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:31:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black Mirror doesn't have that many episodes in a season...
DongMy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:58:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idiocracy wasn't supposed to be a documentary.
Dwangle61955916 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still waiting on season 3
ProspectiveQuant ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listening to this guy, it seems like they already are...
insertmemethere ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:58:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you imagine Father Spread my Hands Pt. 2 during the State of the Union though? Has my vote
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://ktla.com/2017/01/04/congressmans-son-grounded-for-dabbing-during-swearing-in-photo-with-paul-ryan/
lekoman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just remember that Boomers still vastly outnumber Millennials among those who vote... be careful who you're blaming for the situation in DC.
pops_secret ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm definitely not blaming millenials. That said, I doubt there are too many boomers in /pol/.
MerlinTrismegistus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where are Hunter.S and George Carlin when we need them most? At a David Bowie gig in the sky, that's where. God damn it.
fuck_your_diploma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a tee? Because I want it!
bstandturtle7790 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're from the area you probably don't realize how dead on this is
Mr_Broadfoot ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 16:33:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was only pretending to be retarded.
merlac ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:35:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a few minutes, I thought I'd never be able to laugh again.
smart_a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Ethel Merman is dead.
HeyCasButt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuk of returd
SadGhoster87 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:31:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well I stole your face!"
Hawkmoona_Matata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[slap]
theother_eriatarka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:12:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was merely an act
OneGoodRib ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I was only pretending to be retarded."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the old "I was just pretending to be retarded"
notsureifsrs2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a prank
InFearn0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"But not that sarcastic."
locke-in-a-box ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The OG alternative facts guy?
jacksonmyth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Hillary merely "misspoke"
Itoggat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a prank bro
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a euphenism
ferretRape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMAGINE A WORLD WITH OUT BALLOONS!!!
Lupin_AAGL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NICE HAT
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I say dumb shit all the time and a huge amount of the time i actually am being sarcastic.
path411 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I was just trolling"
superawesomepandacat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a prank bro.
wookiewookiewhat ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:49:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Talk about spin
SquatMaster3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats like infinite spin, you'll need a Tusc act 4 to utilize that...
mandelboxset ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:57:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His delivery does sound like a Norm MacDonald joke.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:27:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UnsubstantiatedClaim ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:30:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also when he gets to the punch line(s) he can't get that grin off his face.
crappymathematician ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also true.
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:26:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was only pretending to be retarded!
mygawd ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:46:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His point was that it's a small island so too many people could cause problems, so I can see how he might have been attempting to prove a point and it just came off like he was serious because of his manner of speech. It's not uncommon for congressmen to use hyperbolic ridiculous examples to get their point across
merlac ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:53:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it just seems to me that this joke would have been able to function just without the lengthy inquiry into the island's form factor. not that I'm ignorant of the popular technique of using ridiculous examples to prove a point when it comes to legislative/executive action, but his 'delivery' made it look pretty much like he's actually sincere about this
dk21291 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:04:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, struggling for words when asking about the islands width, and generally not seeming like he had a cohesive thought process made him seem like a moron. Really makes you believe he was just an idiot. I mean if it was all in his plan it was an excellent setup and I guess he did it well. Just seems like poor comedic timing if you're really trying to get an actual point across.
closefamilyties ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:10:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was/(is?) battling Hepatitis-C. He can form thoughts just fine but struggles to put them into words. Sort of makes it difficult to use any kind of simile or metaphor without being taken too literally.
dk21291 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:16:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't know that about him or hepatitis. Makes sense in that case.
closefamilyties ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lenny_sax ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:52:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what he was doing. I've watched him speak enough times โ he's pretty far from stupid.
merlac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just for your and /u/mygawd's information: lenghty edit
prancingElephant ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:05:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are we talking about the same Hank Johnson here? He talks like Forrest Gump.
ack30297 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:37:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How you speak is not always an indication of intelligence though.
prancingElephant ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not, but it's the standard that the poster above me was using. It's also possible for very intelligent people to believe absolutely moronic things outside of their area of expertise, so I don't think "he's smart" is really evidence for him having been joking.
TheCenterOfEnnui ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:08:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but no...he actually thought that Guam might capsize.
tengohunger ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:19:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fantastic argument you got there.
imnotfeelingcreative ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:40:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a fat-fingered mobile user, fuck you for making that link so small.
merlac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:55:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tbh, I wasn't really sure whether any relevant portion of my comment's audience would notice that those '...' are hyperlinked.
Untitled_One-Un_One ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:08:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior RES?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Untitled_One-Un_One ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Repent now! Lest ye suffer the same gruesome fate as the mobile heretics!
cronkleton ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:15:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a bit! I was doing schtick!
commitpushdrink ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:55:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a prank bro
Legownz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:12:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Jokes on them. I was only pretending."
bord_de_lac ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:03:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least that sounds better and more plausible than the ol' "It was satire!"
God, I just want to punch people in the face when I hear that excuse.
MotherOfTheShizznit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"-Man, Starship Troopers sucked as a movie!
-No! You just didn't get it! It was satire!
-Oh, so I guess Rambo 3 was a good movie then..."
AnEpiphanyTooLate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it any surprise we're in the situation we are? Also, the guy was reelected after this. Sleep tight.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:00:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a tremendous deadpan who frequently uses facetious metaphors, I've still never had anyone think I was serious when I said something that absurd. People can usually tell when other people are joking. Sorry, Johnson.
mygawd ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:42:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not true in my experience. If you say something in a serious manner it's surprising what people will believe, or at least think you're being serious about
almightySapling ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:01:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And some people can't hear sarcasm at all. I can't count how many times I've said something clearly absurd (and with sarcastic tone) to my boyfriend only to have him look at me with confused puppy eyes and ask "wait, really?"
RainaDPP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Haha! Fooled you! I was only pretending to be retarded!"
DickIomat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a kid ask about putting a canal through the Florida peninsula one time and another kid interrupted (100% serious and with a sense of superiority) "Then Florida will float away... That's why we can't do that."
Megatron_McLargeHuge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see the problem.
TenTonButtWomp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's worse. Either he's incompetent, or he's wasting everyone's time with a stupid joke.
Now he's incompetent pretending like he's wasting time with a stupid joke.
StAnonymous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But, islands can tip over given the correct circumstances. Maybe not flip so the bottom is the top, but if an island is situated on the very edge of a tectonic plate, there is a slight chance that it could crack off and fall into the mantle, again given the correct circumstances. For example, the Puerto Rico Trench causes severe weather anomolies in the region, subjecting Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and Hispaniola to earthquakes, submarine landslides, submarine volcanic eruptions, subaerial pyroclastic flows into the ocean, and major tsunamis called teletsunamis, putting those islands at great risk of sinking or even falling off the plate into the trench. It's a geologically fascinating area, but highly dangerous for the 4 million citizens that live out there.
Source
Source
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all political hatred is irrational.
Jesuslordofporn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He umm isn't even umm that good of a deadpan. Umm He stutters over umm every word until he umm gets to that line, then he asks question. It sounded like he had planned to say that and everything else was just clumsily getting to that line. His pitch also changes slightly after he says it, like he is trying not to laugh. I am high af though, so what do i know.
Mikulak25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much love and respect to the disclaimer, i will say if it is a joke, it feels kind of careless to do that during a hearing like that.
onioning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A metaphor for what?
BboyEdgyBrah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Jokes on you! I was only PRETENDING to be retarded! hahahah!"
ReallyBadAtSpelling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that the guy who had some serious neurological problem? Seems like something you might say deadpan if you had one.
labrat420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that whole conversation made him seem like an idiot. Not knowing the words wide or narrow. The island capsizing was just icing on the cake
GuatemalnGrnade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't have to pass an IQ test to get into Congress" - that one guy
badgertime33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say that hatred is more than rational when traditional politicians have been sociopaths who continually lie to the people while robbing them of their futures both physically and financially. There is very little evidence that our current POTUS is a sociopath. There is plenty that our previous 4 have been.
Warthog_A-10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I was only pretending to be retarded!"
CharlieWormhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's worse? If he were serious and really that stupid or if he has no problem wasting time asking that question?
DrenDran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is declaring a man nearly half of voters voted for a sociopath without evidence not bashing someone?
merlac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well i think there's enough evidence already. it's not that that dude came out of nowhere, yknow. plus the amount of votes you get doesn't miraculously validate/legitimize all you've done to people.
Josent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And people say we're in a post-racial society. No shit, the guy was fucking around. If he was white, nobody would have seriously believed that he was for real.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
goirish2200 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go fuck yourself.
L05tm4n ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you sound surprised over the overall ineptitude of politicians.
oh sweet summer child.
merlac ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:08:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i didn't think that whenever someone states an "overall ineptitude" in politics, it's about lack of elementary level knowledge.
but maybe, I'm the one who got it wrong all these years. call me Hank
edit: just stating that I'm not downvoting lo5tm4n. one must not miss an opportunity to a 'sweet summer child' line.
[deleted] ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 17:26:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comments on Guam tipping over[edit] During a House Armed Services Committee hearing on March 25, 2010[28] concerning the U.S. military installation on the island of Guam, Johnson said to Admiral Robert F. Willard, Commander of U.S. Pacific Command, "My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize", to which Admiral Willard replied, "We don't anticipate that."[29][30] Johnson's office later backtracked by saying Johnson is simply a tremendous deadpan and that he was using a facetious metaphor.[31]
The U.S. military had proposed building a new aircraft carrier berth on Guam and moving 8,600 Marines, and 9,000 of their dependents from Okinawa, Japan. Including the required construction workers, this buildup would increase Guam's population by 79,000, or 45%, and the total land the military might control or tenant could grow to or surpass 40% of the entire landmass of Guam. In a February 2010 letter, the United States Environmental Protection Agency sharply criticized these plans because of a water shortfall, sewage problems and the impact on coral reefs.[32] By 2012, these plans had been cut to only have a maximum of 4,800 Marines stationed on the island, two thirds of which would be there on a rotational basis without their dependents.[33]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hank_Johnson#Comments_on_Guam_tipping_over
But t seems like the congressman was the only one discussing the environmental impact of moving marines to the island, which seems like a good cause.
https://youtu.be/hV-DzuCPmXU?t=94
Megatron_McLargeHuge ยท 259 points ยท Posted at 18:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This man has a lot of experience dealing with morons.
OhHowDroll ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 20:49:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We typically just call it military experience.
xXxNoScopeMLGxXx ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:39:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call it IT experience.
Also, if you should check out /r/talesfromtechsupport
galloog1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:15:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You think that's bad, try being in military communications...
xXxNoScopeMLGxXx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:30:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me there is a subreddit for that
galloog1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/militarystories or /r/talesfromtechsupport We get double karma.
JudedeHaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, there is an oxymoron if I've ever heard one.
galloog1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We just establish the coms. They do the communicating.
finny_boy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mate you totally missed the point.
It was a deadpan joke about the environmental impact of moving troops to the island. The congressman doesn't literally believe the island would capsize. The congressman is well known as a quote "tremendous deadpan."
Megatron_McLargeHuge ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will anyone accept your interpretation? I don't anticipate that.
_myst ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:16:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, farther down that same article it was stated that Johnson had been battling Hep C for decades, which apparently results in slurred speech and becoming lost in thought. Not sure if you'd cal it a reasonable justification but it may explain the pants-on-head-level retardation.
iforgotmyidagain ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:49:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't he have resigned when he's clinically confused?
_myst ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:52:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah probably, but that doesn't make for hilarious youtube videos.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good catch TIL
audiomacgyver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will forever be one of my favorite things.
6chan ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 17:06:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amazingly calm answer.
Regardless, even this guy believes in global warming.
Raw_Venus ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:17:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He handled that better than I would have. I probably would have said "Are you fucking with me, or are you really that dumb."
finny_boy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:06:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because his concern about the island tipping over is a deadpan joke taken out of context. He actually seems like a pretty smart guy.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The video provides plenty of context, and it certainly doesn't come off as a joke of any kind.
pmartian ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how a deadpan joke works.
Darkemery ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 16:42:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has Hep C, which contributes to slow speech and getting lost in thought apparently. Probably still shouldn't be in Congress, but it adds some context.
wildcat2015 ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 17:23:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It explains why he can't speak but there's no excuse for thinking an island will capsize, no matter how much you struggle to say it.
NotReallyASnake ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 17:46:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like he was just making a joke. The overall context for the discussion seems to be about population on Guam. If he actually feared the island capsizing he would have probably asked some follow up questions about the preventative measures they're taking to insure that isn't going to happen. Instead he asks about the environmental impact of relocating a bunch of soldiers to guam.
I use deadpan humor quite frequently so I can relate to this.
Annon91 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:36:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isnt the point of deadpan humor to at some point to break the deadpan and start laughing. Otherwise people will just think you are retarded
NotReallyASnake ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:22:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, some people just like messing with people. I don't break my deadpans. It's on the recipient to notice when they're being messed with.
wildcat2015 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 21:32:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right but you're not a Congressman are you? Where it might be prudent to at some point during your "shtick" indicate that you're not retarded. Like maybe a Congressional hearing is not the best venue for this?
rumpleforeskin83 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:32:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is plenty of other examples of him being a complete and utter moron. He wasn't trying to be funny, he's legitimately stupid. Also like you said, even if he was trying to be humorous a congressional hearing where he is wasting everyones time is not the place for it.
DongMy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to be some kind of an idiot to lack the common sense to realize how inappropriate it would be to joke while Congress is session during an inquiry and especially to not make it clear it was a joke.
NotReallyASnake ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people choose not to work their jobs with a perpetual stick up their ass, even for the most mundane for proceedings. If you want to be serious all the time you do that.
DongMy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:35:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who said anything about being "serious all the time", there is a time and place to joke around and that is a good example of not a good time and place. Either way the guy is an idiot and it is almost a certainty he was being completely serious since Congressman Hank Johnson is infamous for saying stupid things. If you want to make excuses for people who either lack common sense or are just complete idiots that is up to you.
Jakes0nAPlane ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:20:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless he's actually that dumb, in which case a lack of follow up questions would make sense...
BoughtAndPaid4 ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 18:42:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one is actually that dumb. He was making a joke. It's pretty obvious if you just take a minute to think about it.
ironappleseed ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly enough I've worked with people that dumb. So unfortunately these people do exist.
DongMy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:54:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why some people feel the need to make excuses for others behaviour when it is abundantly clear the man is an idiot. These people must either be very young or live in a pillow case since if you get out in the world you will witness the stupidity of some of the general public and it will astounded you that our society runs as well as it does.
BoughtAndPaid4 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 21:45:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm certainly witnessing some stupidity in this comment chain. Your willingness to believe that Hank Johnson actually believes that Guam could be capsized is astounding me that you type as well as you do.
DongMy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has a record for saying stupid things, this is hardly a one off. He is known as one of the stupidest people in Congress. Do you own stock in the man or is making excuses for him just a hobby for you?...
Edit: Never mind, I just noticed your user name "BoughtAndPaid4". So is Hillary or Soros ever going run out of money paying for you guys to defend all Democrats no matter how incompetent?
BoughtAndPaid4 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you actually believe that a sitting US congressman believes that the island of Guam could be capsized by the addition of an army base then you are stupider than you think Johnson is.
Just think about which scenario is more plausible to you. That the 4th Congressional District of Georgia elected someone who doesn't have the slightest understanding of geography or physics or common sense. Or, that the man was simply making a deadpan joke as he is wont to do.
I know you are a partisan hack who thinks Obama was the worst president of all time and buys into Trump's conspiracies about voter fraud and paid protesters and whatever other nonsense you all cook up but just honestly ask yourself which of those two scenarios is more likely.
I'm wasting my time though aren't I? Just go shoot up a pizza parlor ya nut job.
BoughtAndPaid4 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just his sense of humor. Here's another example of his deadpan that is even more clearly intentional: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dP_IzmgW0s
I know its fun to believe someone is incredibly stupid, but in this case it just isn't true.
MrBojangoUnchained ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:19:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try Hank Johnson.
BoughtAndPaid4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya got me ;)
drewkungfu ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:29:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that was a failed attempt at deadpan humor.
dslybrowse ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:24:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty successful if you ask me. One of the hallmarks of it is that many people miss that it was even a joke, and he nailed that apparently.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hypothetically speaking: Could an island, provided it were relatively small, if it had volcanic activity and were located directly on a fault line? Say a big sinkhole opened up and swallowed it. Could that happen?
MSinAerospaceX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn... it was funny until this comment.
asdf2602 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure he wasn't infested by alien ear worms?
derleth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:00 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He fucked a clown?
The1trueboss ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 16:33:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, was this guy high? This was hard to watch.
frabax ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:22:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a joke. Nobody got it though.
StillwaterBlue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No less than an 8, maybe at a 9...
quinpon64337_x ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:42:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you could see him smiling trying to keep it together after tipping over.
Qtea831 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy cake day!
D-TOX_88 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:48:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnson's voice sounds exactly like one of the guys from Bad Lip Reading and I kept going back to "oh but this isn't real this is just absurd antics with lips."
noobtheloser ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:15:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We don't anticipate that."
PencilvesterStallone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at that moment. Best part of the video.
BoughtAndPaid4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:46:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's clearly just making a joke. The guy has done it before. Here's another example: https://youtube.com/watch?v=8dP_IzmgW0s
flockofjesi ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:25:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just want to say that I had never seen or heard about this before and I am forever grateful to you for bringing this video into my life. ๐
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:28:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. My. God.
AP246 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:56:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. There's a clip of a UKIP member of European Parliament talking about how it's stupid to decarbonise Europe since trees need carbon. Didn't think anything could be worse.
Bonsai2745 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a link?
merlac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
heh, classic UKIP
DwayneSmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A member of Finnish parliament questioned whether we should build our nuclear plants on top of tectonic plates after the Fukushima incident...
StrongestCoffee ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:35:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For once I was hoping that this would me some meme or Rick roll. But no a member of Congress had to be this stupid
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:40:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lord almighty the comment section is a mess
kjacka19 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it is YouTube.
wvhooker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In December 2009, Johnson revealed that he had been battling Hepatitis C (HCV) for over a decade, which resulted in slow speech and a tendency to regularly get "lost in thought in the middle of a discussion".[46] Johnson said that he learned he had the disease in 1998 but did not know how he contracted it. HCV-induced liver dysfunction often leads to hepatic encephalopathy, a cause of confusion. Symptoms are often reversible with treatment.[47] The disease damaged his liver and led to thyroid problems.[46] He was treated with a combination of ribavirin and interferon at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.[46] In February 2010, Johnson successfully completed an experimental treatment for Hepatitis C, which resulted in restored mental acuity, weight gain and increased energy.[48]
snbrd512 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How in the fuck did that other guy not start laughing at him??
gmt_plus_one ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently r/trees is leaking into congress :O
kjacka19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Explains a lot actually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a minute...is this Congressman Johnson's origin story?
theunlikelycabbage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternative facts are a wonderous thing
t4bbris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Navy Officer: "????????????????????????????"
sebassi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my home town we've had islands tip over. They are really narrow and long and the waves erode them till they're only a few meters wide with a single row of trees. With a storm to whole island will fall over.
usernameinvalid41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell was this guy ever elected into office?? I'm completely flabbergasted!!
thurst09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Our islands will never float away, big league." Potus
BertMacGyver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How stoned is he?!
Mystery--Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to teach him the word "Narrow" and it's relations before they even start teaching him about geography.
spideyjiri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's adorable, like a toddler.
Grande_Latte_Enema ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
scary that congress is who decides if we go to war with russia or china
riotzombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus I would not have kept it together that well. Guess that's why I'm not an officer.
jbarnes222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Drain the swamp
DrippyWaffler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He must be joking... right?
DiaDeLosMuertos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh... We don't anticipate that.
ChunkyRingWorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about the guy that thought wind farms would use up all our wind because "wind is a finite resource and harnessing it would slow the winds down, which would cause the temperature to go up."
Ill let you guess which party he represented and which part of the country he was from. (Hint: its exactly the party you would think, and exactly where you would think he was from)
bikebum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna say stuff like this to my daughter, teach her to be skeptical.
dexfagcasul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel fucking dumb as shit even for listening to him speak
hellslave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit! I never knew Ben Carson had a brother!
gayhorse69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Affirmitive action at its finest folks!
Opinionatedshmuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the most insane bit was when the guy responded with population statistics and not an explanation of how islands can't capsize
Arancaytar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.mememaker.net/static/images/templates/547557.jpg
crash1082 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can this video from 2010 looks so much shittier than the recent video of Mr. Rodgers from 1969 or whenever that was.
deep_space_artifacts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My god. Under 3 minutes long, I still could not watch the entire thing. Afraid Guam will capsize. To his credit, I guess DJT did get elected POTUS, anything is possible.
MarcusValeriusAquila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely high as shit
Entropy_Sucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has hepatitis and it has affected his brain severely. Not a joke.
Makeshiftjoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING TO HIM?!
RogertheStroklund ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I recall, he was discussing Guam. I was stationed there with a construction unit that operated one of the two rock quarries on the island. The two quarries couldn't blast within two days of each other because the island is basically a coral spire; the underwater structure is very steep and very tall. With the high, dead, coral composition, it was feared that blasting on both sides of the island at the same time would fracture the coral structure and lead to island breaking apart.
someth1ng_au ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow.
PM_ME_UrHeroes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention he's been re-elected 3 times since
medikit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We don't really know if he was using a metaphor or not... I really hope he was.
Sekolah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whats really scary is that dumb fucker is STILL a member!!
SeeGeeKayZee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse me a moment while I pick my jaw from off the floor.
congressional_staffr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will say, there is other evidence of Hank's deadpan as referenced by /u/merlac .
Also.
Noogiess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a fun rabbit hole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRmYlCJ70z8
codyt321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give this guy a break. He almost immediately follows up saying it was a bad way of asking about the environmental effects of adding so many people to the island.
skilliard7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I thought democrats were stupid, but I didn't think they were this stupid.
MasterKaen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God bless America.
Niith ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:59:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS is the kinds of people the American's elect....
IOt is no wonder why a lot of the rest of the world looks at them like they look at Florida.
BlueFish_Silver ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:53:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dear god
Cuddy_Buddy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:56:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't watch the whole thing. That made me very uncomfortable.
mareenah ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:00:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God
madeAPokeMongoName ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:04:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what's worse, his comment or the fact his brain is so slow to decide which word to use and yet he still says them.
NotReallyASnake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has Hepatitis C, it's what slows his speech.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh my fucking god. This is hilarious and horrifying all at once i dont know how to react to it
FaptainAwesome ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 16:14:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a congressman who brought up his concern that the island of Guam might flip over if they added any more US Marines...
MrNature72 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:25:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, we are talking about the Marines here.
I wouldn't put it past them.
powersoftyler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:54:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lance coconuts will find a way to fuck it all up
MrNature72 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:11:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bored marine is more dangerous than a marine in combat.
Bitemarkz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guam on, you can't be serious!
DaGranitePooPooYouDo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In case people have never seen it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs23CjIWMgA
It's so beyond stupid that it has to be seen.
What's worse is this genuine dunce is still in Congress.
cewfwgrwg ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:26:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you call massive amounts of earth an anchor, I guess it could be true...
Sparkstalker ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:27:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I shit you not...my wife asked me this one night as we were going to sleep.
I had to check to make sure I wasn't dreaming at that point. But no, she did ask.
almosttan ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:44:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After buying her first house while we were dating, I came over to help my now-wife move and since she didn't have any kitchen shit, we ordered pizza. The next day she went to reheat pizza in the microwave and put it inside and asked, "okay now what do I do?"
She also drove up to an automated car wash and when the machine in an obviously robotic voice said "hello and welcome to the touch - free car wash" she said hello back and genuinely meant it.
Lmao I hope these memories are Alzheimer's exempt because I never let her live them down.
onbehalfofthatdude ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:53:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just hope they aren't Alzheimer's
defaultsubsaccount ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:50:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats on the hot wife.
almosttan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha oh the good ol' reddit clairvoyance. Never fails.
frozenHelen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:49:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Law of balances: if she's that dumb, she must be that hot to make marrying her worth it.
almosttan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:57:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool of you to call my wife dumb.
defaultsubsaccount ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:32:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you just... ok so you guys are made for each other. Congrats to both of you!
frozenHelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't. I was explaining /u/defaultsubsaccount joke.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had she never used a microwave before...?
onbehalfofthatdude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just hope they aren't Alzheimer's
TheKocsis ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:24:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A buddy of mine (23) asked that we could swim under the island if we could hold our breath long enough...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floating_island
TheKocsis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me it was not a floating island
TalesT ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of them do.
Forever_Man ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:21:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean...he's not wrong
poop_compressor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah islands are just soil boats with big ass anchors.
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So are continents.
Sendrummazing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's not right either
No-YouShutUp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:35:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The earth is a pretty big anchor
joeltrane ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:45:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would actually like to know the answer to this. Are they always connected to the crust of the Earth or do they actually float?
TheMMAthematician ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:20:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Islands are just a part of the earth that protrudes out of the water, just like continents.
http://www.appstate.edu/~abbottrn/vlcns/vlcns2.jpg
USABJJASU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird seeing an appstate link out in the wild. Shoutout to trap state
HeyCasButt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only difference between an island and a seamount is that one breaches the surface of the water.
defaultsubsaccount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's asking if islands float and you expect him to know what a 'seamount' is? I could only deduce you mean sea mountain, which he also probably doesn't know about. So, I'm guessing you're either from some harbor community that mentions sea mountains enough to come up with an abbreviation or you're doing it on purpose because you want to make yourself feel smart.
HeyCasButt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seamount That's just what they are called. And yeah, I maybe wrongly assumed that the word's definition was fairly easy to determine.
defaultsubsaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I talk to people my purpose is usually to communicate. Although, it might have been something I've learned over the years. So, if someone is asking me if islands float I'll probably explain that they are mountains on the ocean floor that rise above the surface of the water -- using the most basic words I can find. It doesn't make you dumb. It just makes you a good guy.
scr33ner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well technically plate tectonics is a theory land masses do in fact move...
joeltrane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True and I also had heard about volcanic islands described here that actually float http://theconversation.com/underwater-volcano-creates-huge-floating-islands-of-rock-disrupts-shipping-25851
Korpers ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea....they totally float dude. In the U.K we have an island called Jersey, just off the French coast. It's still part of the Kingdom, because it used to be just off Blackpool in the North. Way back in the day, one of the island anchor guards forgot to reset his anchor and it came loose. Over the course of a few years the island floated south and settled just south west of Les Pieux, where it still resides to this day.
That's why all the signs are English and everyone drives on the left.
truthinlies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:02:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the entire earth could be considered a really big anchor, I guess
ForePony ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess the giant mountain of rock or sits on could be seen as an anchor.
runintothenight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that question was on a test, that is just inviting a snarky answer.
RexDraco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically not wrong, land is one of the biggest anchors of all in our solar system.
Rexel-Dervent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stuff like this makes my eyes water: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOqS2jZdaoI
TheInvisibleDuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told a buy in my class that the Spartans were pig farmers when I was 13. He believed me enough to put his hand up and tell everyone. This doesn't sound so bad but not only had we been doing other sorts of similar ancient Greeks, but we had done the topic a year earlier as well. I think there was also a poster about them on the wall.
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are anchored by island
neoslith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, because of Futurama and Sonic the Hedgehog 3, I assumed all islands floated.
Didn't realize they were raised earth from beneath the waves.
Kehndy12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did he write it down? Did you ask on a test why islands don't float away?
nerothejust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to anchor islands
_DeandraReynolds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say something similar actually. When I was in 8th grade social studies, a girl asked the teacher if islands are connected to the bottom of the ocean by poles, so they don't float away.
LordStrogar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sea turtles mate
TheRealYM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is how mythology was invented
morris1022 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remindsme of the representative who thought Guam would tip over because there were to many people on it
overrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean technically if you consider a huge hunk of rock attaching the island to the sea floor an anchor he's technically correct. (the best kind of correct)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not entirely false!
Chris11246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair they do have a really big anchor, the rest of the tectonic plate they're connected to.
JustinGitelmanMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the point of answering that question with such sass if he doesn't believe it? Your job was done correctly if he wrote it down.
Tanith_Low ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait......how DO islands not float away?
Gravityflexo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That implies that the person who wrote the question believed that islands float
mewlingquimlover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically not wrong. :).
AlexStar6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair.. if someone asked me that stupid of a fucking question. I'd reply with an equally stupid answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean.. kind of
jared_number_two ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 6th grade science teacher ask that once.
LoafLion14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually can't answer that though
NAN001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad you didn't teach him the actual answer.
TheShigGAMING ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of the time I was in like, third grade. I was in mass an the priest was talking about how Jesus walked on water and asked how he did that. Apparently it wasn't because he was wearing plunger shoes...a little bit of my faith died that day.
Tonydanzafan69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that's not that crazy a question for a student.
PoliteIndecency ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just an alternative fact, that's all.
Gravity is the "anchor" that holds us all to the planet.
loverofaltmedicine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a great question though
cynicaesura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well...you're not wrong
notethan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a senior in high school ask what would happen if you took a knife and cut the land beneath Hawaii. She wondered if it would just topple over into the ocean.
thelisagrace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend in high school once wanted to know why enemies didn't just drive their submarines under continents so they could sneak attack from below.
ZaydSophos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me think of Calvin when he asks Susie for answers in class.
Riptor_Co ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mean the ground is kinda like one big anchor, so...
Mariokart2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use windmills. They always help for taking control of your island.
MaimedJester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically we do have artificial islands with anchors. ... So maybe he's actually the son of a Mesoamerican architect and a time traveling wife.
TheAardvarker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, that's a pretty dumb question. If something is not floating, it's not going to float away. "Because they aren't floating in the first place" would've been my answer. Second, plate tectonics, so they do looks like they float over time if you are going by whatever loose definition of floating the question was looking for. I think this kid was just being sarcastic because he thought the question was stupid. I would've done something similar.
awesomeness1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, was "how do islands not float away" a written question? Because that is a pretty stupid question as well...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Cuba this month, with adult friends, and one of them said "they can't build a subway here, if you dig down you just hit water" which makes me think he has the idea that islands are just floating. There is no other explanation.
Lustrouse ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:00:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend is most likely correct. The water table is too high
Tantes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he's correct. It's like digging a hole in beach sand- go deep enough and it floods.
JBSLB ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:58:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gullible much haha
[deleted] ยท 2302 points ยท Posted at 14:24:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an assignment for biology where you'd flip a coin to see what traits your baby dragon would have to teach mendellian genetics. One of my students raised her hand and asked, "Wait, so dragons are real?"
GaimanitePkat ยท 231 points ยท Posted at 16:08:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did a similar thing, but were partnered up and had to write down the traits our "baby" would have according to our own actual traits such as eye color, widow's peak, et cetera. Then we had to draw the baby. I was really into anime at the time so my baby looked really fucking scary in hindsight
WhackTheSquirbos ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 18:12:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you provide said picture i will give you reddit gold
GaimanitePkat ยท 135 points ยท Posted at 18:13:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately my poor anime baby is lost to the sands of time.
wasiia ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 19:36:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like tears in rain. E: word
Reoh ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:42:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time to die.
RaiThioS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pigeon flies away and takes a dump
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:15:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[cries in anime]
Squally160 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just like your reddit gold
AberrantRambler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're lucky it wasn't parenting class
CWRules ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:17 on May 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nocontext
DarkDrifloon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cries like an anime fan on prom night
seeashbashrun ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 18:37:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but I am totally willing to draw a horrifying anime baby
Edit: Looks like I need to draw a baby. Will deliver.
outerheavenboss ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 19:50:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...nah we're good.
Kvasir19 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:27:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take it
Shumatsuu ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 21:31:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And 3 months later it was discovered that half the girls in the class were pregnant because their baby will be cute.
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining this assignment causing a lot of drama, especially if there are couples in the class.
GaimanitePkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:11 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was seventh grade so nobody was really seriously "dating". Mostly it just caused people to be frustrated at their lack of drawing skills.
princesstrashmound ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:06:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did this too but mine and my friends looked remarkably like this other guy in our class. I was never sure how we managed that.
advertentlyvertical ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:29:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should get a dna test.
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time to call Maury.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:50 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did that once, but he ran out of traits to have us do and so everything was realistic, like yours, except we had to write down eye shape. Not like, monolids, almond shaped, etc, but some peoples babies had square or triangle eyes. I got a baby with star-shaped eyes. I was also a huge art nerd at the time, so everything was photorealistic in an attempt to show off... including these big, bulging, tearing star-shaped eyes. It was horrifying.
Agent1108 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:54:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good 'ol Punnett squares. I remember those days.
origamifred ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:54:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, dragons are real, and you can influence their genetics with coin tosses. That's why most dragons are invisible, 'cause Merlin called "heads." And most dragons just look like lizards, 'cause Noah called "tails."
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:44:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So that's why they hoard gold coins...
ElectrixReddit ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:46:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that person must have been living under a rock. They're not that hard to spot.
macbalance ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:32:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as dragons having a "teach mendellian genetics" trait. Which seemed odd for entirely different reasons.
TheLooooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm still not really sure where dragons come into all this... *Edit: just went back and reread OP. Had missed the part about figuring out which traits your baby DRAGON would have... thought the activity was just to figure out which traits your BABY (human) would have...
Danceswthcats ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:43:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in komodo
lfantine ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:50:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were. But a flaming stone fell from the sky and darkened the sun. Chixulub.
It sounds like a fairy tale.
aaronlimtf ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:43:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread can't be true
Wumer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is impossible!
MildlyConcernedGhost ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:41:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In mine we had to simulate the kids of sesame street character, so I had to draw the horrific pairing of cookie monster and... Pink elmo?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zoรซ?
Beardhenge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:59:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We do the same activity! Dragon Genetics is rad. Small world.
dron57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
100% science based dragons.
MarkNutt25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they're real. Hasn't she ever seen Game of Thrones?
handlebartender ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just reminded me of a class I was in back in university.
We were following an example in a book which referenced 'widgets', and went on at length describing the rest of the problem.
A student raised his/her hand and asked "I've never heard of widgets before, could you describe them to me?"
A reasonable question, but got a bit of a classroom snicker.
tacojohn48 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother's best friend and her husband were at our house and we were watching a movie about dragons. She asked how dragons breathed fire. Her husband told her they're born with steel on the roof of their mouths and they pick up a piece of flint that they hold with their tongue. They burp methane instead of farting it out and strike the flint against the steel as they're burping it out. She accepted this answer as fact.
TinFoilBeanieTech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Komodo Dragons are awesome.
DoctorShuckle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baby Dragon... Flip a coin... Did anyone end up with Thousand Dragon?
katandkuma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legit thought dragons were real until my 20's. Assumed they just lived in another country that I had not visited (I'm in Australia). Only occurred to me after I asked why I had never seen one in a zoo. I had a super sheltered childhood and literally had not been exposed to which animals were real and which were mythical haha!
Anonnymoose73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do this same assignment, got the same question
Meistrox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, literally the exact same thing happened in my class
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are, but I believe they prefer to be called Dovah-mericans.
PM_Me_A_Dare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually think that is a good question.
hyacinthinlocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really stupid for me. Btw, why a dragon?
frnky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're teaching genetics with dragons example, that's a legit fucking question if you ask me
gino188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this sounds interesting. do u have this assignment shared? i don't even know mendellian genetics but this sounds fun.
IntaglioSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:01 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, my bio teacher did the same thing. I spent more time drawing my dragon than actual research.
I never would've guessed Ms. Johnson would have the username B33Fucker, though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:26 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly the dragon drawings were the reason I assigned it. I love watching kids squirm with unexpected art projects in science class.
RainonCooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:49 on February 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... We have the Komodo Dragon
Eardrum_Breaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:17 on March 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, student, they are. But seriously, when I get out of college I'm becoming a cryptozoologist and proving that dragons are real.
Jruff ยท 21732 points ยท Posted at 14:26:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've shared this before, but as a high school biology teacher, a 16 year old student once asked me "Wait, aren't rhinos made of mud?"
procastonator ยท 15095 points ยท Posted at 15:46:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he knows his Pokรฉmon types
ThirdDragonite ยท 4163 points ยท Posted at 16:40:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why the rhinos aren't standing up? This one looks like it's way over level 42"
zanderkerbal ยท 352 points ยท Posted at 17:27:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly it's holding an Everstone.
std_collector ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 17:32:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher, why do you keep pressing B
Ardub23 ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 19:20:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To get Megahorn six levels earlier, duh
draibop ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 19:26:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only real answer
Almainyny ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 18:54:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Because Arceus hates you."
Lostsonofpluto ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:10:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or its trainer just pressed B
redjarman ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:47:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I've always questioned the point of everstone's existence
oneweirdclickbait ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 21:00:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's nuisance to press B all the time.
And the everstone guarantees that the parent holding it passes on its nature.
redjarman ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:44:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I guess I just haven't been interested enough in breeding to care about natures. I only do it to fill the pokedex
Xenethra ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:43:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also breeding kanto versions of Pokemon with the new bank update.
Trachyon ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:28:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give it to a Pokemon in the Daycare/Nursury to hold, and there's a guarantee the egg produced will have that Pokemon's nature.
Also, I've been holding off on evolving an Eevee until it has Trump Card, and its a pain to keep having to interrupt a cutscene at every level up.
Lostsonofpluto ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:41:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who's raised a Pokemon to level 100 (from level 5) without an everstone, I can tell you, every level after 16 is hell
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:02 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it Charmander?
Lostsonofpluto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:00 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chikorita (second Heart gold Playthrough)
Mr_Jones_The_Cat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:15 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So that the NPC in Platinum who trades you a Haunter can be a massive troll.
No, seriously. It's holding an Everstone so it won't evolve into Gengar.
rcuosukgi42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where on earth would a Rhino "hold" something like an everstone?
zanderkerbal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:04:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can do anything with enough duct tape.
DontTellHimPike ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:35:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its genes are Running in the Family
stax_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phew - I'm glad I found at least one reference! :)
SEI_LA_PORRA ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:59:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to get moves sooner probably.
drs43821 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question should be, can I catch one in safari?
IvyPaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure. You might want to try in Chrome or Firefox.
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Safari, not equal to safari
745631258978963214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid would be retarded. All pokemon of a certain specie look the same (aside for transformer types like Rotom).
not_so_happy_place ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too drunk to read this syntax. What the fuck
Mr_Broadfoot ยท 278 points ยท Posted at 16:38:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am anxious to learn what the reactions in Philosophy class will be when he asks why God is a Goat that changes types with plates and why Descartes had such a boner for goats.
Abstracticus ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:11:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We all know King James is the goat
PM_ME_YOUR_BREWS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
amen
Cylon_Toast ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:49:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never really saw Arceus as a goat. I just thought it was some weird quadrapedal creature.
Icalasari ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Specifically, it's a Kirin, which are deer/dragon/goat/etc. godly creatures, and depending on the mythology are either the highest ranking mythical beast or just behind dragons. Suicune is also partly based on a Kirin
Cylon_Toast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought Keldeo was a kirin, I guess we have more than one!
Arceus really doesn't look like a kirin to me. XD
Icalasari ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Keldeo may be a unicorn, actually
As for Arceus yeah. It's a bit hard to see at times, but there us a head crest in the hair (plus some depictions have manes that flow upwards, which matches Arceus' hair). Often have equin bodies, and are often gold in colour (Arceus' shiny is gold/yellow), and due to their high position are pets of gods (So an easy translation to directly being a god for Pokemon)
Checking on it though, was slightly wrong - Looks like in at least one mythology, they are third highest, only behind dragons and phoenixes. Which funnily, works well with Pokemon - We had Ho-oh, a phoenix, then next gen Rayquaza, a dragon, then after that a kirin
TheCruncher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keldeo is based on the myth of the Kelpie actually! A water spirit of Scottish folklore, typically taking the form of a horse, reputed to delight in the drowning of travelers.
Icalasari ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I never even thought of that one! Was always too focused on the horn
Makes Keldeo seem a little less friendly
Cylon_Toast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kirin are basically lightning unicorns in my eyes. XD
MrLaggron ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... A goat
ImAtTheOfficeK ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What. Apparently I haven't read up on my Cartesian skepticism enough to get that reference, whatever it is.
shadowreaper548 ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 17:01:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God = Arceus and the goat = Arceus. DesCartes "boner for goats" is a boner for God. At least that's my take
Doingitwronf ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:02:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another Pokemon reference. Arceus) is one of several God Pokemon, credited with creating the setting.
So of course you can dog-fight with them too.
Rudi_Van-Disarzio ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:33:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese seem to be obsessed with man dominating god in their RPGs.
floatablepie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:08:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could be worse; if they were Greek they'd let you breed the god ones with the cow ones.
Masaioh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shin Megami Tensei kinda has you covered there.
Doingitwronf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That and the power of HUMAN WILL!
YOU JUST NEED TO BELIEVE!!!
PM_ME_YOUR_GOATS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even search goat references up anymore.
herrhoedz ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:37:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he's just half right because rhinos also made of rock.
MaltMix ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:38:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But rhyhorn is part rock type.
markercore ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:38:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I was thinking too, but rhyhorn is also ground type, so the kid is correct.
mastertatto ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:53:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it uses Mud Slap, that might be even more confusing for the kid
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:11:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's even more confusing is why anyone would teach a Rhydon Mud Slap when it can learn better Ground-type moves.
mastertatto ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:01:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, I prefer Mud Sport
BlueNemo3 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:09:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Straight to OU with you
Ardub23 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But everyone in OU knows how to aim for the horn
darexinfinity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So just Mud Rocky Balboa
mak484 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:05:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He also thinks all animals, and plants, and space monsters, come from eggs.
PrezMoocow ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:38:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I legit leaned how erosion works because Water is super effective against Ground/Rock.
Thanks Pokemon!
Talentagentfriend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably grew up to be a Pokรฉmon master.
FallenDanish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, thanks
Edit: damn, look at that karma fall-off
jamesvdant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin savage
Amogh24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't it be a rock type? It doesn't seem electric proof
Amigara_Horror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We're just gonna have to ban Pokemon Go"
--u/Jruff
sihtotnidaertnod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that Rhyhorn must be at a haunted level
Krail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But they're also made of rock.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:42:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ardub23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not rock, it's Rock. And its primary type is Ground anyway.
LcRamboR1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:44:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait you're assuming this is a "he", it could very well have been a girl, just saying
hyacinthinlocks ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:54:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mud is not a Pokemon type. But Mud Slap is a Pokemon move.
Young_Metzgro ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until it evolves...
Soul_Turtle ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:56:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rhyhorn, Rhydon, and Rhyperior are all Ground+Rock so idk what you're on about.
Young_Metzgro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you add to the ground to turn it into mud...water...that shit super effective...they evolved into fainted status.
TheNessLink ยท 3726 points ยท Posted at 15:00:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what the fuck
onyxandcake ยท 2431 points ยท Posted at 17:29:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adorable in a 6 year old, scary in a 16 year old.
TotallyNotanOfficer ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 18:54:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would make a pretty good AskReddit question: "What is adorable in a 6 year old, but scary in a 16 year old?"
seattleque ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, "What is adorable in a 16 year old, but scary in a 6 year old?"
Not anything that could go wrong with that...
just_comments ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:51:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asking to see your genitals.
TotallyNotanOfficer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I forgot the context of what I said and was about to get a picture from imgur. Glad I hit the "Show parent" thing before that.
goofyphucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jon Lajoie?
TimtheBigDaddy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:34:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to ask that right now.
a_blue_ducks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When they stick their finger up their butt and then taste it
I_love_420 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:28:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You... you guys don't do that?
samfi ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:12:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
could be a case of adults tricking a 6yo to be funny and the kid never questioning the information that otherwise had no relevance in their life. until they blurt it out as a 16yo, possibly thinking "wtf" as they are saying the words
TheChrono ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:26:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. By 16 you should be able to deduce that mud isn't really something that living things are made out of. Maybe the BP oil spill makes him think there are mud-birds out there too.
DrakeRome ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:17:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, honestly, I could totally see this coming from a very sheltered, fundamentalist type family upbringing. I mean, if you literally believe humans were made out of clay with God's breath making them "alive", it isn't that long of a stretch to think an animal is made from mud.
Liadov ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:08:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for spelling it out for us.
lawandhodorsvu ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:46:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just think, they can vote in 2 years.
devildocjames ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:38:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid asked it two years ago. Kid voted this year.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gnux13 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:38:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that didn't take long.
Ol_Dirty_Senpai ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:57:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
collective groan
ZankaA ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:23:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he's already president for 4...
Polite_Werewolf ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:45:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't remind me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8
Damasticator ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:14:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Attractive in a 40 year old.
ishouldnotbeherenow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:13:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dear reddit, what are things that are adorable in a 6 year old, but scary in a 16 year old?"
akjoltoy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:33:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If my son, at 6, had thought something like that, it would have been scary to me.
OddGoldfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/mykidisverysmart
JesusRollerBlading ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 5 year boy old say "Are you trying to blow me" to his female classmate. I laughed in the corner for like 5 minutes. Innocence is adorable.
onyxandcake ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:40:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At 5 my son asked what "gay" is so I foolishly explained that it's when a boy likes other boys more than girls. He then announced that he's gay.
JesusRollerBlading ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear God. That's hilarious.
Actionmaths ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6? Maybe 2, if I had a 6 year old child and they asked me if rhinos were made if mud I would put it up for adoption...
lilmamma229 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call bullshit
Hint227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much like an overall, or an aunt's kisses.
HauntedCemetery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were stoned. I hope so anyway.
KeybladeSpirit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if the only rhino he ever met was a golem?
Jesuslordofporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baby teeth?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are we talking about penises or should I leave...
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adorable again in a 26 year old, annoying and lane at 36 until around 76 onwards when people think old people jokes are adorable
frogger2504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The scary part is, the 6 year olds usually have some pretty straight forward logic behind this kind of thing that you can understand coming from someone with very world knowledge. "Rhino's are a dark colour, with a rough, mottled texture. They live in the wild, where there is mud. Mud is a dark colour, and is a rough, mottled texture. Therefore, Rhinos are potentially made of the mud in their environment."
Whereas the 16 year olds logic was probably "I dunno I just thought they were."
BS_TheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username
BigShield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least it wasn't someone from Congress.
CedarCabPark ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's some religious thing he learned? I don't know.
chescatt ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:04:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a reference to pokemon I believe
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LeakyLycanthrope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rhyhorn and Rhydon are Ground/Rock types that look like rocky rhinceroses.
TooSchwifty ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:01:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Teachers who can't figure out when someone is fucking with them
Elite_AI ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like coming down one way or the other with this.
Like, there are things which can sound like someone fucking with you online but if you're there are very clearly completely serious. On the other hand, it is easy to accidentally take a joke seriously.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:36:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Indefinita ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:29:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the what fuck
peoplearekindaokay ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:41:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aka how I lost my virginity.
Tijdreiziger ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:50:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/absolutelynotmeirl
poop_compressor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:16:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You fucked a rhino made of mud?
dontautotuneme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what the fuck
brickmack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck the what
ELLE3773 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the fuckwat
TheDenseCumTwat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:55:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TheDenseCumTwat?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wat
Nobat211 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bandnames
Dreamcast3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what fuck
Anatta-Phi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck? What?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, clearly they're stone.
murdermeformysins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no thats the student
mordeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what the muk*
FTFY
FrostHard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine muds just suddenly going alive once they merged with other muds.
LordRevanish ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 16:24:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so...are they or are they not
Bitemarkz ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:50:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol you're an idiot. It's concrete or they would just break when they hit each other.
Derporelli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here I am just thinking that this was common knowledge. Our education system has definitely failed us.
NolanOnTheRiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What, retarded? Probably
BigDisk ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 15:42:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, didn't God make everything out of mud?
hamdinger125 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 16:15:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just man.
Jared_FogIe ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:34:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some folks say a man is made out of mud
A poor man's made out of muscle and blood
Muscle and blood, skin and bones
A mind that's weak and a back that's strong
Oerath ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:41:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You load 16 tons, what do ya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go,
I owe my soul to the Company Store!
3AlarmLampscooter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:53:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
I picked up my shovel and I walked to /r/mining
Hexidian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loaded 16 tons of 9 grade coal and the straw boss said "well a-bless my soul"
You load 16 tons and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt.
Saint Peter don't call me 'cus I can't go. I owe my soul to the company store.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't expecting to see this today
thecinnaman123 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:40:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, no, all animals. At least according to a plain reading of Genesis. I mean, not mud precisely, but the ground.
And God said, โLet the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.โ And it was so. Genesis 1:24 NIV
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:44:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thecinnaman123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda what I imagine they were going for.
mastawyrm ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:57:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah so Adam was actually a plant. He must have been a vegetable since we know God hates fruits and weed.
livingthepuglife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the problems with literal creationism.
Literally, nothing can be taken literally.
Feebedel324 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:34:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clay.
kalmakka ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:40:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clay is just fancy mud.
Makes sense that HE would use mud for lesser creatures.
Vexacion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just the sixth children were made of clay and that was by the fifth children
JMB1007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question here:
If life arose from earth itself (as opposed to panspermia theories) couldn't it be considered to be made of clay/mud?
metalpotato ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:56:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Water. Life started on the oceans and thousands of millions of years later they crawled up to the land
im_not_afraid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mud or water. Depends on which ayah from the Qur'an or which verse in the Bible you read.
rz1992 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:00:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did he think they were made out of mud?.. Surely you were curious and asked and can let us know.
Jruff ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 17:22:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This wasn't the kind of student that could thoughtfully explain their train of thought. I was talking about how you couldn't distinguish animal size based on cell size. I asked the question, "Would the cells of a rhinoceros be larger than the cells of a mouse?" He replied with "Wait, aren't rhinos made out of mud?"
I probed, but all he could elaborate on was "I just thought they were made of mud." To avoid further humiliation for him, I dropped it.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:33:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A part of me hoped he meant to ask if their horns were made of mud, but you killed my optimism
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he saw a lot of photos when they are covered in mud and just thought that. Also because he is stupid.
Novah11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd bet anything he was half-watching a documentary about white rhinos and black rhinos, and they were talking about how those names come from the color of the mud the rhinos roll in. (They are actually both the same shade of gray, the mud makes them look darker/lighter).
cewfwgrwg ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:27:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, those are Hippos.
DiamondTiaraIsBest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hippos are made out of sand, or at least that's what Pokemon taught me
eh_whateverisfine ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:29:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it's a ground type.
Pohatu_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:34:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, crocodiles are.
InFearn0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That wasn't a crocodile. That wasn't a crocodile at all.
Pohatu_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's basically a bulldozer dinosaur that lives in the mud, but its actions and methods of hunting are similar to a crocodile's. People often compare it to a puppy too because of how it rolls in the mud and shakes it off.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:22:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Narnia reference?
thecinnaman123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what is Narnia referencing?
And God said, โLet the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.โ And it was so.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but Narnia specifically has them rising up from the mud in a very vivid fashion.
I dunno man. I'm just trying to understand it. People are weird.
mckeddie70 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:36:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was stoned.
CrazyPilotGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. They're made of chocolate
khalfrodo34 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL elementals exist outside D&D
mightyknothead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A poor rhino's made out of muscle and blood...
deangray21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 70 year old grand mother thought hedgehogs didn't have legs. She thought curled up into a ball and rolled everywhere they needed to go.
PopesMasseuse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This killed me. It's 8 30 and I'm at work.
Bryanlop69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:29:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rip
Delraymisfit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rip
mildly_amusing_goat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
F
Bryanlop69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U
GetBumRushedMate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course not silly. Pigs are.
god fucking damn it. foiled again
halfdeadmoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Pokemon
PetBill314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know why he's confused, he was thinking of hippos obviously.
heyitsakeeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Bishop, is that you???
Frank_Montrose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then he became president
maninshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost lost it on the shitter with some guy grunting and diarrheaing his brains out next to me.
Bonbonnibles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..."Yes. Yes, they are."
Ic3Hot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait what are they made of then?
westsideguero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol u mud?
wholesalefish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
simply baffling
Sea-Queue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Kevin!
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Civil engineer here. Rhinozation is a big danger during floods. As soon as you've got two tons or more of mud sitting out there in the sun you'll be seeing rhinos pretty soon.
Rickfernello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that was a joke, man.
Br0DudeGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What am I missing, what's the context? Why would he say that? Someone mentioned Pokemon, I've never played.
RexDraco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gotta ask... wait, no I don't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept of how that even became a question
nyyrhtak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they offer any sort of explanation on how they got to that?
caanthedalek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch what
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I thought my student's question of "Can monkeys talk?" was bad, but this one takes the cake.
D3qTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can turtles breath air
capilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're made out of meat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the laugh! I almost choked on sparkling water, but it was worth reading this!
jshfost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school bio teacher here as well. During the cells and life processes unit a few years ago a student asked, and then proceeded to argue, insisting a rock was a living thing. Even went as far to give evidence that if you break a rock with a hammer it makes two smaller "offspring" that are made up of the same things as the parent.
OneEyedMelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, they are just hippos who wanted to be unicorns.
deadline54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my high school biology class a girl asked if trees were living.
SurferRosa93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair they do look like they have gray mud caked onto them constantly
nervelli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at the zoo looking at the rhinos and a religious school group came up. I don't remember exactly what their teacher was telling them, but it had to do with God and unicorns.
jdogthedog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He should have known that rhinos are obviously made of storm clouds and enjoy attacking kids riding around on floating peaches.
McCoob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
was he just being a smart ass?
King_Vlad_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I guess he subscribes to the theory of spontaneus generation?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people don't get sarcasm.
BrainPulper2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had so many questions like this asked to me. I try my hardest not to shut the kid down, if they're asking, they're interested. I try not to let my surprise show, and I almost always (sometimes you can't) take the time to give a good answer and show pictures. It really helps improve student participation (I'm sure you know this).
Still, it's really hard to not be shocked by the staggering ignorance.
Typhill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my freshman year of high school. A fellow student asked "wait so Mr____ if I plant a pumpkin seed... will like an actual pumpkin grow"
He was 100% serious
fingolfinz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully drugs were involved
aaronlimtf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin hell
dr_wtf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This probably came from a parent or someone using the expression "dust rhino" a lot and it never occurred to them it was also a real animal.
AndrewC15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I could maybe clarify: If he was religious then there is a tale out there about how humans were made from the mud (God sculpted them). He may just be curious as to why Rhinos aren't. Still dumb but now theres context
kuman30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In sixth grade in Catholic school a classmate asked in sex ed if black guys had black semen. That was awkward.
Encore- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher here, but a student in 8th grade asked a pretty similar question to our teacher: "Wait, fish are not made from rubber?".
ScottishMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did his concussion go on undiagnosed?
Spackkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck was that kid teaching biology.
lickthecowhappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did a study abroad program which allowed us to do some of the new student things at the foreign university despite being almost ready to graduate. we went with a bunch of freshmen to a "safari park" and the student leader (an english major) tried in vain to describe some animals. A few of the biology majors (as they called themselves) were happy to help out and let everybody know those things were wildebeest. The other american and I looked at each other and giggled because they were bison.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told a teacher with the utmost confidence, that a Horse that mated with a donkey made a honkey.
Mr_JK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There might be a reason he might think that. A lot of religions say humans were made from clay and assuming humans are made from clay opens the idea that animals maybe as well. If he was especially religious he might believe that.
Zach_Powers3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin.
Jillish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 17 year old student claim that birds aren't animals.
Shaojack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ya know... life must be so much more fun when you believe anything is actually possible.
ArseholeryEnthusiast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In biology class years ago we were talking about the characteristics of life and what things does all life need to exist. We got the obvious ones out quick. Water, temperature and energy source. Some of the answers were too specific but my man Sam out of nowhere said bees and burst out laughing at him. I started a copybook of his best stuff and I need to go look for it but another time when explaining his enzymes work my teacher used a scissors and paper and said in the same way that a scissors can cut paper but not put it back together you need different enzymes to break and build proteins. Well my main man Sam was having none of this and said why don't you put glue on the scissors. The teacher could literally only say no Sam with a smirk. Probably told his wife when he got home.
TheEpicRedCape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows they're hollow, but it gets pretty hot in there.
coruscations ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, their skin does kind of look like dried mud
Robobvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First day of my freshman year of high school, first period was Biology. We spent that class discussing what is and isn't alive. Because apparently someone in years previous to that had thought rocks were alive. So now the teacher made a point to cover it on the first day.
AttackPug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere at the genesis of that story there's either a dad or an older sibling.
juiceboxheero ยท 5074 points ยท Posted at 13:16:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(After informing my West African Class about the Boston Bombing) Is Little Wayne Ok?!
[deleted] ยท 2360 points ยท Posted at 14:59:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he?
Fortehlulz33 ยท 2635 points ยท Posted at 15:25:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, he's got a codeine problem, so maybe not.
mortiphago ยท 2263 points ยท Posted at 15:58:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He ran out of codeine?
RelaxPrime ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 17:19:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a problem
s629c ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 17:36:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GoFundMe get lil Wayne more codeine
RealBlitzComet ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:56:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we make one for a friend of mine? Whom is definitely just a friend and not myself?
pawnedskis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:36:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And my friend as well. He's a fucking druggy man but damn he's really itchin for some good lean
Alarid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:25:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I was trying to gloss over that I was fucking them
zebediah49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:56 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SWIM needs it.
ManservantHeccubus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two rules, man. Stay away from my fuckin' percocets, and do you have any fuckin' percocets?
WorkFlow_ ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:39:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What other codeine problem is there?
travisca ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 18:27:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Long-term addiction leading to liver and respitory failure, seizures, coma and death.
You know, gangsta shit.
10takeWonder ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:32:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thought the seizures and death came from trying to get off it, like most opiates?
Coomb ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 19:11:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cold turkey opiate withdrawal won't kill you. You're thinking of benzos and alcohol.
Minuted ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:17:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's bad enough it'll make you wish it did. But yeah benzos and alcohol are the real dangerous ones.
10takeWonder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:19:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ok, thanks!
becauseusoft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Although an ex of mine who was shooting heroin confidently assured me (I knew better, though) that heroin withdrawal could kill him. Therefore he could not just stop. Now I understood that he would want to die or feel like he was dying if he tried to stop cold turkey, but I knew better. Of course he insisted that withdrawal was deadly and any of the many drug treatment programs available to him didn't take the deadly withdrawal factor into account...like I'm not a doctor or anything but I don't think I look that fucking dumb. That's why it's a drug treatment program.
Laeno ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:50:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No seizures from opiates withdrawal. The other piste is correct. Just wanted to add that on.
10takeWonder ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:00:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird, why did they show the character seizing out in Mr. Robot I wonder?....why am I getting drug information from a tv show I wonder now?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
10takeWonder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooooh thanks
Serpardum ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:28:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, much better to get your drug information from reddit. Almost as trust worthy as Wikipedia.
kjm1123490 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible just extremely rare. Probably has to do with genetics and pre existing conditions. As stated, bentos and alcohol most definitely cause seizures, I've seen that shit and bentos are not worth nearly crashing your car because you couldn't find any that day.
Laeno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not from pure opiate withdrawal. Sure, if someone is an epileptic, the withdrawal is likely to cause an increase in seizures due to metabolic issues (and not being able to take anti-epileptics), but if you see seizures in opiate withdrawal, probably something more going on. Of course, street drugs aren't exactly regulated for purity, so when we say pure opiate withdrawal...
kjm1123490 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair, dope could be cut with anything. I'm wondering if they can happen from something like extreme dehydration or extremely high temperature. But yeah I see now it's not considered a symptom, thanks man, was going on pure anecdotal experience.
Warpato ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes you can.
Laeno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, pure opiate withdrawal does not cause seizures. If someone suffers from epilepsy, opiate withdrawal could potentially cause an increase in seizures due to a multifactorial effect. And opiate withdrawal on top of alcohol/benzo withdrawal certainly isn't protective of seizures, but opiates themselves do not cause seizures in withdrawal.
shroomyfloomy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:40 on February 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd have a hard time dying off codeine alone.
Although abusing opiates has a tendency to escalate to harder opiates
Jason_Worthing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He can't figure out how to write programs for Java
Throwaway42027 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:06:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he meant Goldeen. Fuckers are everywhere.
Pinglenook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now he's coughing so hard it hurts!
JAY2S ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry Lil Wayne! I'm bringing your codeine!
DoctorCybil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No he's just stuck on a line of code. Coding isn't always peaches and sunshine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn actavis drought
HadSexyBroughtBack ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:15:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Motherfucker I'm ill." Lil Wayne is definitely unhealthy.
Radioactive24 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:31:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he kicked that shit.
Fortehlulz33 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:35:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's had a couple of relapses, so I don't know if he's truly on it anymore.
bodhemon ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:47:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codeine is MEDICINE that means it makes you better.
PM_ME_AZNBOOBIES ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He may,be. May'nt
MildlyConcernedGhost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's snorting that low-quality C Basic stuff
Fortehlulz33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He prefers it in liquid form
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sad
seanbennick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea he was even a developer.
dawgsjw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about Tupoc?
Tubaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a related seizure problem
Master_Qu33f ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:07:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he had a cough syrup problem.
xavierthemutant ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:19:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codeine is cough syrup you goofball
advertentlyvertical ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:54:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
some cough syrups contain codeine... not all by any means. and some people will abuse cough syrup that does not contain codeine because it contains something that will cause hallucinations in high doses. codeine is actually a very low strength opiate painkiller, in the same family a heroin morphine and all that nasty stuff.
xavierthemutant ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:14:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
trust me I know I've done a lot of cough syrup of both kinds.
advertentlyvertical ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:40:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I try to be as accurate as possible when talking about drugs; a big part of the problem today is inaccuracy and misinformation.
xavierthemutant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:19:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree and I appreciate it. I see a lotta young kids getting fucked up on lean not realizing how addictive it is. For the record I threw you an upvote
Master_Qu33f ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:00:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, I was amusing myself because drinking cough syrup to get high is just flat out stupid
xavierthemutant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:43:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's an opiate you goomba. the kind of drug that addicts many people in an easy to find and digest way
Johnny_Walker_Red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How? Codeine is an awesome drug.
You take a codeine pill to get high, that's fine, but as soon as it's in the form of a cough syrup it's stupid?
Master_Qu33f ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, if you want to get high on codeine that's your decision, but at least get the pure stuff rather than chug cough syrup.
Johnny_Walker_Red ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:07:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The cough syrup is just codeine, promethazine, and sugar/flavoring. There is nothing else in it, it's meant to drink.
Take 2-4 fluid ounces of the syrup, pour it in a cup with lots of ice, throw a few jolly ranchers in there, pour in some sprite remix, and you got some lean.
It's super expensive, but when I want to splurge, it's worth it.
I guess I don't see what the difference between codeine pills and codeine syrup is in this case. Most codeine pills are cut with acetaminophen, which I try to avoid. Codeine syrup is more pure and easier on your liver.
Master_Qu33f ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. TIL.
Fortehlulz33 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:20:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He does. Codeine promethazine cough syrup. Mix it with Sprite and you have the iconic rap music beverage known as "Lean".
bourbon4breakfast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wondered if there are just rap doctors out there giving the stuff away. It's a hell of a lot easier to get pills than liquid codeine. Have never even come across it besides people who had a prescription.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:22:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AFAIK, neither Doctor Dre or Funk Doctor Spock have recommended this product
kellytoker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:17:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who have prescriptions are the ones that sell it/ give it away. Source: friend has prescription๐
But as far as rap doctors go, I would think rappers would just have another way to get it.
norathar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you are not a pharmacist. Seen many (usually fake) scripts for ridiculous amounts. No real doctor is going to write for a pint of cough syrup with 5 refills...particularly not a nephrologist. Yet people try.
bourbon4breakfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:02 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I mean. It seems to rarely get prescribed, so who the hell is writing enough scripts to fuel these addictions and what pharmacist is going along with it? Maybe it gets stolen.
norathar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:07 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to be buried, but I figured I'd reply because I can answer some of this.
In practice, I think the pharmacists who fill it are either small independents who fill sketchy stuff to stay afloat/someone who's under pressure to increase volume to the point of losing their professional ethics, or someone who's outright partnered with the sketchy docs.
As for docs who write it, about half the stuff I see is outright fake and the other half is bad docs who will write anything for cash. Some fakes are virtually indistinguishable from real prescriptions, and with a reasonable quantity billing through insurance you could get fooled once or twice...but some are laughable and those are only going to be filled by someone who has lost all sense of professionalism.
As for what kind of doctor writes that...bad docs are usually either pay-to-play - "give me $250 and I give you 1 month of anything you want" - or they're giving out drugs in exchange for being able to bill their patient's Medicare/Medicaid for lots and lots of unnecessary tests that they may or may not perform. Government is a lot faster to shut down the latter than the former, but it still takes a couple years, and some of those docs are foreign-born and figure they can get a couple million dollars in a few years, offshore it, and flee the country before the DEA catches up.
Even without corruption, someone manufacturing their own prescription pads, writing good-looking forgeries for reasonable quantities, using a large number of "patients" to obtain the medication from dozens of locations, would be sufficient to get a ton of this stuff into circulation. It's definitely entering the system more through bad prescriptions (both fakes and ones written by doctors that aren't for any legit medical purpose) than by being stolen from the wholesalers/pharmacies...controlled substance shipments are closely tracked and if a bottle goes missing it's definitely a Big Deal, and while robberies happen they're a lot higher-risk for criminals than passing fakes.
As a final, random-ish note: I think that the cough syrup prescriptions are more likely to be outright fakes, while the bad docs are more likely to be writing narcotics and benzos. I don't know why. I'd guess that the street value on the other stuff might be higher, making it worth it to pay those doctors in the first place, but I don't know what any of this goes for on the street. I need Reddit to host an AMA with the people who do this from the illegal side to answer my questions.
iReddit4thearticles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also called purple drank
RealBlitzComet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adding a jolly rancher and/or xanax is optional.
Fortehlulz33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jolly Ranchers are recommended, xanax are not. That's partially what killed Yams.
RealBlitzComet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh...I would usually add both when I was into that kinda stuff.
itsbetterthanWOW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No lean is codeine and promethazine mixed with sprite and normally some jolly ranchers or similar sugar candy's.
If I remember correctly promethazine enhances the codeine which is a lowest level opiod.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:36:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Promethazine is actually trash filler in terms of recreational use, if they sold the syrup with only codeine nobody would use a promethazine mixture.
norathar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yet I keep seeing fake prescriptions for promethazine by itself...wish I knew why. It's not even the right color!
newby1 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught that lean was a spliff dipped in codein
notaleclively ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't ba able to smoke codeine like that. Well....physically sure you could burn it. But it's not going to get you high.
newby1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what my plug called it. Never tried it cause fuck caugh syurup problems
notaleclively ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:28:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do yourself a favor and stay away from any opiate. You do not want to mess with the hell that lurks behind that high. Stick with herb. It can become an issue as well. But it's way easier to put down if you recognize it's a problem for you.
advertentlyvertical ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:56:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yea codeine can really fuck up your life, guaranteed so if you move on to stronger stuff.
newby1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It became a problem for me so I'm on a long break till I can get my life together
notaleclively ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you for recognizing it and taking steps to correct it. That level of self-realization can be difficult.
newby1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I got introduced to weed in a bad way and left weed to try to make myself and my relationships better. That and saving money
FishFloyd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:30:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol he is probably trying to sell you PCP. Codine will just burn, pcp can be dipped and smoked
kellytoker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you do a lot of PCP?" "Well, i've got a gallon, so."
newby1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's no longer my plug but yea probably he was sketchy
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah never fucking ever smoke a dipped joint, that's pcp.
I_worship_odin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a whole world of drugs I don't know about.
notaleclively ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And some of them are best left that way.
advertentlyvertical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you've stayed away from them so far, I would suggest continuing to do so. In the event you do decide to experiment, research, know what you are getting into, and make sure you trust who you are getting it from.
outofTPagain ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:08:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's... not true? Dipping a rolled up something in some lean definitely gets you high
notaleclively ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:27:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something is getting you high. But it's for sure not any opiate. You could smoke it off a foil. But applying flame directly to it is going to destroy the compound you want to get into your blood.
Source: was very heavy opiate addict for many years. 4.5 years clean and feeling great.
advertentlyvertical ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
congrats on being clean for nearly half a decade! I've been clean of opiate/opioids since end of last may. looking forward to the one year mark.
notaleclively ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! And Congrats! It gets easier. I promise. The first year is the hardest. Try not to forget where you came from.
advertentlyvertical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I am actually very optimistic, I don't really have any desire to go back to where I was and have even turned down opportunities to score without hesitation. I still have to stop smoking so frequently though.
notaleclively ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That can be a hard one. I had to put everything down at once. Smoking puts me in situations where picking up opiates again looks appealing. And I can't risk that. I have too much to lose now. and when I first got clean I had a bunch of prison time hanging over my head so I had to quit everything. But everybody's road is different.
outofTPagain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, you lose the codeine effects. You still feel the promethazine though. Plus your blunts taste good
notaleclively ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds awful. But to each their own I suppose.
outofTPagain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're talking drug abuse here so yeah, you've kind of got to go in with an open attitude.
notaleclively ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fair point.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Combustion just removes the opiate.
outofTPagain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, but that's why it's promethazine and cough syrup. You might not get the codeine effects from smoking but you still get the promethazine effects of drowsiness mixed with what every other substance you're using.
kellytoker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I want to be drowsy I'll drink some ZzzQuil, thank you.
Why_You_Mad_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:36:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codeine is most commonly taken through prescription cough syrup. That's what "sizzurp" is made of, usually codeine cough syrup and sprite.
Drinking that shit constantly will fuck you right up, and not in the good way.
itsbetterthanWOW ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the lowest level opiod
advertentlyvertical ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:00:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and it will still fuck you up, which should say a lot.
stevoblunt83 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:43:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, what a pussy. Just move on to Heroin already.
Rcp_43b ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:39:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Define, "Ok"
polysemous_entelechy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:08:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooookkkaaaaaaaaaaay
juiceboxheero ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:13:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT?
polysemous_entelechy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:29:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YEEEAAAAAAAH
zoudain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody get Ja Rule!
kentucky_cocktail ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:36:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
doubtful
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people would say he's the greatest.
skullgamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you okay, Wayne-y?
crushcastles23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Define Ok.
UnfinishedProjects ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
@lilwayne you ok?
TheGrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHERE'S JA!?
dont_worryaboutit139 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone get hold of Ja Rule, he'll know, he can make sense of this
AssesAssesEverywhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ask Ja Rule
littlejp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody get Ja Rule on the phone and find out!
HollowScope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get Ja on the line!
Phrenzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to ask Ja Rule.
imsorryisuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, he is far from ok. he is not even mediocre. he is bad.
EmeraldFlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever seen his face?
ptown40 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where's Ja?!
hlgarcia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lil Wayne isn't dying, he's just a lil weezy
SlamisBroratheon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got some questions that Ja Rule might not have the answers to.
burnbabyburn11 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YYYEEAAAHHH he's OKAY!
BeatShakeFury ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 15:48:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My stepmom is Australian and taught Aboriginal students in the outback (technically Alice Springs). After she met and married my dad, they decided to move to America for a few year. When she told her students she was leaving, they asked her if she was going to Compton and was going to see various rappers. They were pretty disappointed to learn she was going to Montana of all places.
Danster21 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:54:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Montana isn't that bad... I mean, it's not the worst here.
please end my existence
BeatShakeFury ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:06:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but there is a serious lack of gangstas and rappers. I am also a Montanan, so I know this personally.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Danster21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This exactly. If you like skiing, Bozeman is the place for you. If you like not skiing, you're gonna be depressed and hate yourself and wish you were never born.
BeatShakeFury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you guys picked the shitty places to live in MT....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mcon87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I live in Missoula and everyone always goes on about all the great outdoor activities, like skiing and hiking and hunting and mountain biking...
And I just want to play video games v_v
Danster21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the same exact way. I just want to watch baseball and play some rocket league but of course by the time basesball rolls around I'll have the switch :]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Danster21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one?
SKBroadDay ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 15:51:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard he's ill, but he's not sick
DiamondShotguns ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:13:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea he's OK, but his watch sick
SuperSocrates ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:43:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his glock sick, and his knot thick.
sendtheclowns ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:34:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know it is "nut", right?
sojoe17 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:21:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's got a milli though, so he'll be fine.
The_bouldhaire ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:13:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where is Ja?!
thatswhatshesaidxx ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:42:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he ever get nervous?
Googleownsme ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:48:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he single?
earnedmystripes ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:54:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he high right now?
machingunwhhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you really have that written on your note pad?
megadeltasniper ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:26:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Priorities
Young_L0rd ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:54:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair you cant blame them. After 9/11 all my family called to check on us and they were scared af. I live in LA. What country if you don't mind me asking.
machingunwhhore ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:58:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid is a poser, doesn't even know that Lil Wayne is from Louisiana, it's in like half of his songs.
HoodedPotato ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:26:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually kind of sweet.
kryppla ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:09:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need to hear what Ja Rule has to say about this.
GoldNBones ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:31:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5'5" on codeine call it drug shortage
ownage516 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:52:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Lil
fcbRNkat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asking the real questions
a_kam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, we're all wondering that.
GringoGuapo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I translated some of a Lil Wayne song for some of my Senegalese friends and the first question one of them had was "Does his mom know what he's saying?"
kydogification ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lil' fify
Allelaholic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why, he's from New Orleans
ObamaBiden2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he's in America!
Notaroadbiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A worrying influence
goldgibbon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I read this, I assumed West African Class is a class of students in Africa. But then I realized it could also be about a class of students in America where the topic of the class is West Africa.
Which one is it?
juiceboxheero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Class of students in West Africa
Dr_Dornon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Blakemolthan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont think he was ever ok in the first place
OG_Christ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the proper response is "unfortunately "
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Little Wayne is from Boston.
Imagineamelon ยท 15666 points ยท Posted at 13:41:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After a lengthy explanation of the effects of volcanic eruptions on human communities, I had a grade 6 student ask me why on earth people even make volcanic eruptions.
[deleted] ยท 8669 points ยท Posted at 15:00:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tourism. It's the best move the Hawaiians and Icelanders have ever made
ptgkbgte ยท 2226 points ยท Posted at 15:40:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You joke, but I know a bunch of Hawaiians who want the volcano to explode, so that it drives away the tourists and brings the housing prices down. I keep telling them, "There is no way in the world I want to be Vesuvius." Not to mention the volcano is on the other side of the island.
diMario ยท 3593 points ยท Posted at 16:27:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bert: "Ernie, why do you keep exploding the volcanoes in Hawaii"?
Ernie: "It scares away the crocodiles, Bert"
Bert: "But Ernie, there are no crocodiles in Hawaii."
Ernie: "That's because of all the exploding volcanoes, Bert. You're welcome."
pbwarren2001 ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 16:40:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dammit my cousin's funeral was today. I knew there was a reason I couldn't do this!
Edit: reference.
VulpesFennekin ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:28:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Dmitri...
Wormri ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:55:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never not upvote a community reference!
E pluribus anus.
wozowski ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:37:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I gotta watch this show.
sacrelicious2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seen this a dozen times, never realized it was a Bert and Ernie reference.
xxfay6 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bert: "Ernie, I'd like to buy your volcano."
becauseusoft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean rock
Heyaroo ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I relate to this too much because my uncle and aunt from Hawaii are named Ernie and Bertha.
FrisianDude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
of course they are
Nebulous_Neptunium ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:38:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bertstrips
Cuive ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:38:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like the /r/ImGoingToHellForThis mods got bored and made a muppet-based subreddit.
Ithinkiplaygames ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 19:35:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except /r/bertstrips is funny.
24kevin ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:47:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why did I read this as a llamas with hats episode?
Lukavian ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:04:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Caaaaaaaarrrllllllll...
notepad7 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:25:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Kimo : "Kekoa, why do you keep exploding the volcanoes in Hawaii?"
Kekoa : "It scares away the crocodiles, Kimo "
Kimo : "But Kekoa, there are no crocodiles in Hawaii."
Kekoa : "That's because of all the exploding volcanoes, Kimo. You're welcome."
one_crack_nacnac ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:52:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, no... they have to be speaking pidgin.
Kimo: "Eh brah, how come you stay exploding da volcanoes liddat?"
Kekoa: "Fo make da crocodiles sked, das why."
Kimo: "Nah! But da crocodiles no stay!"
Kekoa: "Cuz I wen scare um. Chee!"
FTFY.
notepad7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna do it in pidgin but I couldn't do it justice in writing. You nailed it though.
one_crack_nacnac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah brah minahs
cute4awowchick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God. I just had flashbacks to the several years I edited depositions for a court reporter in Hawaii. PTSD!
Vedvart1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:37:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It isn't that its not safe, it's just not quite as safe as the other ones."
"Why?"
"Well some of them are built so the front doesn't fall off."
"And this one wasn't?"
"Well, obviously not."
"How do you know?"
"Because the front fell off, and 20,000 tons of crude oil spilled into the sea, caught fire!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was towed outside the environment!
Vedvart1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From one environment into another you mean?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no, beyond the environment. It's not in the environment
Vedvart1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it must be somewhere! What's out there?
diMario ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, What's on second if that is any help.
Vedvart1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But who's on first?
diMario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's right!
Vedvart1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no, who's on first?
diMario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know.
SwanBridge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ernie, I'd like to buy your Volcano.
jankyasscanadian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow I imagined this in the voices of Rick and Morty
Ololic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:13 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Show me what you've got
FlyingWeagle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So can Ernie do anything but float?
Trump_MAGA_8_YEARS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what would happen if someone introduced crocodiles to Hawaii. They live in similar climates
diMario ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:25:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing the Hawaiians, they would quickly add them to their cuisine. But anyway, crocodiles in Hawaii is not going to happen (the exploding volcanoes would scare them away).
just_comments ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ernie seems to be channeling Sterling Archer.
DemonB7R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see somebody got inspired by r/Bertstrips
Ololic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why the church denounced bert and earnie
smoike ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's like Lisa /Homer(s bear rock or whatever it was.
LusoAustralian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock.
-FeistyRabbitSauce- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But, that's suspicious reasoning!
xxMattyxx317 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as Rick and Morty having a conversation.
derleth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:31 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wholesome bertstrips?
b2k1343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give him gold
diMario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. I wouldn't know what to do with it.
PicnicBasketSam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/bertstrips
BennyPB ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in the voices of Rock and Morty.
ILOVEGNOME ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:08:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Vesuvius like explosion just cant happen in hawai. The lava has 2 completly different texture. The way hawaiian volcanoes/lava are made they just cant build up pressure
ptgkbgte ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:39:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what would have to occur to create a price drop though.
Kyle700 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any eruption from mauna loa would cause a price drop on the Kona side
Cypraea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:13 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
MorphingShadows ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 16:34:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's some Scooby Doo shit right there.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:36:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually never seen Scooby Doo shit. Does Shaggy ever take him out for walks?
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:36:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes even for runs
Bears_On_Stilts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time they start running, bubblegum pop music plays. This only annoys Shaggy, who has that new Frank Ocean album he wants to hear.
Dragonai ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thought would never have crossed my mind, but now that you've said it, I can't think of a single better way to describe it. Well done!
Kyle700 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:44:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Volcaneos in Hawaii don't explore, they are shield Volcaneos, the lava is extremely slow. It can get somewhat fast but you still have like 12-24 hours at its fastest to leave (depending on where you are from the vent)
If it's slow you have weeks. It actually happened 2 years ago in Pahoa. Lava was slowly creeping towards the town and stopped just before hitting it.
Source: live in lava zone 1 on the big island in between old lava flows
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are people trying to rebuild in Kalapana?
diagoro1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:27:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two thousand years of silent bliss, but than the tourists flood back in....
ButternutSasquatch ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:31:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you feel the need to tell them that you don't want to be a volcano?
quistodes ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they meant that they don't want to be Pompeii
AcidCyborg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitlord trying to dehumanize us volcano-kin
-Calidro- ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:46:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't want to be a volcano?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:45:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't tourism a big part of their income though? It seems wanting them to go away would tank the economy there.
SoMeCaPs ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're assuming that the native hawaiians have a big stake in Hawaii's tourism industry. They don't, they're the poorest ethnic group in hawaii with the largest population living in poverty. I'm sure they don't want to economy to tank and I'm sure many do have jobs in the tourism industry, but as a loose analogy this would be like saying the Seminole tribe in Florida is overly concerned about the tourism industry/overall economy there. I'm sure they do a little, but I'm also sure some would just be happy to have the land they view as stolen back.
lennybird ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:53:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tourists still need to eat; they still need to pay to enter certain parks. They go to the stores and purchase trinkets. While there is a lot of money leaving Hawaii, to say none of it benefits the locals I think is equally unfounded. These hotels, businesses also require locals to fill their positions, thereby creating jobs as well. Increased money likely comes not just from private avenues, but via the state government as well as a result. I'm not one to advocate trickle-down economics and I get the side-effects, but I just wanted to note Hawaii wouldn't suddenly be "perfect" if all tourists left. Most locals would be forced to leave as well.
SoMeCaPs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:24:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am differentiating locals from the natives. Almost all locals are not native hawaiian and the native hawaiians are often not the people you see working at the resorts and such. But I agree it wouldn't be perfect, just that many native hawaiians are advocating for it currently.
lennybird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's understandable, but how realistic is it? Are they advocating to become a Native American reservation? They have to come to terms to some degree with the fact that they are part of the Union. Nevertheless I can understand their frustration.
SoMeCaPs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, they need to deal with the fact that Hawaii is and will continue being a State. A lot of these people are very hard to deal with in Hawaii. You'll see them flying the state flag upside down and picking fights with locals who are not native. Most what full sovereignty and/or some compensation from the US government. I hate to stereotype such a large movement but if you ever visit Hawaii and see a group of these people I would not even talk to them. Some of the groups are slightly aggressive with very frustrated supporters.
Heres the very limited wikipedia article on it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_sovereignty_movement
prancingpancakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would it even be possible for Hawaii to govern itself at this point?
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We do not want a reservation! Good God, no. We are not native Americans, though reservations don't seem to be helping them much, either. Culture, politics, and even language is very different here than the rest of the united States.
lennybird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're native aborigines in the same sense the various tribes are on the continental U.S. the cultures of the Cherokee to the Navaho are themselves very different, too. I just mean to say if independence is what you're after, then that's what they sought.
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We just see how things are going for them, the conditions on a lot of reservations are horrible (I've been to one in Oregon, had a boyfriend who lived there, he was Canadian Indian but lived in the Oregon Siletz res).
There's a lot of abject poverty, lack of basic health care and educational opportunities (res schools are very poorly funded), discrimination, depression, alcoholism, the list goes on. We are doing much better because we haven't been segregated to that extreme in quite a long time. I believe also, a lot of our (and NA's) problems are self imposed. Not the majority, but a lot. We don't speak English, and when most of us do, it's not very good, and reading comprehension is low. The majority of us do go to English speaking schools (that's changing though, Hawaiian immersion programs are very popular and I love that our language is growing), but we have ample opportunities to learn proper English, yet most choose not to and then complain about discrimination based on that. However, Hawaiian was just recently made an official language here. But that isn't helping us get jobs, only learning proper English will do that at this point.
We just want our independence recognised, some land back, our culture and self-governance respected. Many of us have given up our US citizenship or have dual Hawaiian Kingdom and US citizenship (such as myself). We don't want to exclude the rest of our non native population in the process. Sure, extremists want all whites gone, and some royalists are this way as well. That would mean me as well as 90% of Hawaiians though as we're all mixed race! But I digress.
There's never an easy answer, not for us, nor the native Americans, nor any aboriginal peoples.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes sense. Thank you for the insight.
lennybird ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. There's no way they'd be able to sustain even their native population without considerable interstate commerce in the form of tourism. I can sympathize with the fact that the cost of living is skyrocketed as a result (there was once a time you could buy beach-front property in California and Hawaii as an average middle-class American), but this swings the pendulum in the exact opposite direction.
acidion ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it's okay because the houses would be less expensive, yaknow? /s
Dwintahtd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They might find it has the opposite effect. Iceland's tourism boom is in part attributed to Eyjafjallajokull's eruption that gave them global advertising. RIP
manachar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Puna is cheap, and much of the land stays that way because no bank will cover a mortgage on it or any houses there. I guess investing in land in a place with active lava flowing just doesn't pencil out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I hear one more "water Mexican" joke.....
GreatNegotiator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This mentality of some people just backs up the story of the bucket and the crabs. People in California are hoping for an economic downturn so people leave and prices go down. Of course it wouldn't negatively affect them.
People like this don't have the right mindset . Instead of hoping and working to afford housing or even pushing for more pay they rather thousands suffer so they can get temporary low rent.
Toto_Swank1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That'll just bring in a bunch of "adventurous" tourist. You gotta shake em' up a bit. Try robbing and kidnapping. If you want to use the volcano tell the kidnappies that the ๐ is asking for sacrifices. Then release one of them (slightly burned) to spread the word.
PM_ME_UR_NANS_TITS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it drive up prices on the other side of the island as people wanna move away from the volcano?
PurpleMonkeyElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Been living on the Big island for 2 years, let that fucker blow. Rent is insane.
hobbycollector ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a Hawaii license plate on the way to work this morning.
kindall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to be a volcano either!
chemistry_teacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Hawaii born kama'aina, I find this hilarious. We are repeatedly taught throughout our education that Hawaii's volcanoes cannot and will not explode. They are not made of the right kind of lava that winds up "sticky" enough to act as pressure cooker volcanoes. In the worst case, Mauna Kea will erupt (it's dormant) and will create a massive lava flow that slowly inundates Hilo.
scotchirish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we get to where we can control an eruption, you better fucking believe I'll be there to watch it!
fe2sio4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only big island is volcanic active anyway, and itยดs been erupting.
real_fuzzy_bums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would just make more land and therefore expand room available for tourism.
QualityRoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally the plot of "Aloha! Scooby Doo".
Jekivemiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean you don't want to be Pompei?
smoike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also the fact that the island is there because of the volcano. Yeah excess activity, not so good.
HouseSomalian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a Scooby Doo about this.
kevinhaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've lived here for over half my life and I have never met anybody who thought even remotely like that. That's an extremely rare attitude.
mdog95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lava doesn't only burn haoles.
greyjackal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pompeii. Vesuvius was the volcano, Pompeii was the town.
GiantSquidd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:23:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simple people want simple answers. ...and this is how you spawn a trump.
Dinglecakes ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:37:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pompeii's really feeling the burn of tourism though...
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:53:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take your upvote, you punny bastard.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:10:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hawaiians and Icelanders have a lot in common the more I think about it...
Founded by famous maritime people
Had complex pagan mythologies
Volcanic islands
Both got fucked over by the English
errol_timo_malcom ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:06:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except for the last one... it was the American plantation owners that got the Hawaiians
loverOfBadNews ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:08:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are you referring to when you say Icelanders were fucked over by the English?
icebudgie21 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:26:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the Cod Wars or the Invasion of Iceland ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
Nothing major really and the vikings fucked the English over a lot more than that.
Perpetually_High ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:12:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but Iceland won the cod wars and the ww2 invasion was the best thing that ever happened to us
icebudgie21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my point exactly. The English have barely tried to fuck with Iceland and it has not worked when they tried it.
Although Iceland was neutral in WWII the invasion really modernized the place and has had mostly positive effects.
greyjackal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bollocks.
Apetoast ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:02:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might even say Hawaii and Iceland are built on Volcanoes.
celingfan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:58:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that's why they're such a hot spot.
Dreamcast3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:43:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
heh
Smaskifa ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:32:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also effective at preventing tourists from leaving by grounding all flights.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:06:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Braddakeegs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:37:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh,"coming"
wbotis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:07:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iceland's prime export is volcanic ash. Previously it was reindeer bones and giggles.
gallitoingles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of a wall can we just build an exploding volcano on the border?
daedone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lavaflow moat... 20 feet deep, 100 feet across. It has the added bonus that anybody digging a tunnel, it will self seal
bjorntb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From Iceland, can comfirm.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Putting vodka in a pineapple is also pretty high on that list.
quantasmm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:57:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to Krakatau Island
hoewood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only thing going for Costa Rica as well. Money talks man
TheMadMaritimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might even say their entire culture is literally built on them.
gamerologyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This would be calvin's dad explanation
bedswitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
explain it like im calvin
ormr_inn_langi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be all we have after the glaciers melt.
this_guy_fvcks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just ask the Pompeiians. They've got a booming tourism industry now.
TheWorkforce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously though, Pompeii was one of the most fascinating things I saw when I visited Italy.
Khourieat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It also makes the island bigger!
Dezza2241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm
Went to Iceland 3 weeks ago, expensive like Switzerland
LtWorf_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey don't forget us Sicilians!
thecptawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok Calvin's dad
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please, I have nowhere near that level of wisdom.
productiv3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pompei was playing the long game.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving for retirement the extreme way
PuppieWayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's hope Zuckerberg is reading this..
callaccal ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:51:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't work out so much for Pompeii
XxsquirrelxX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Mt. St. Helens. It blew it's own top off.
Sam-Gunn ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 14:59:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, eventually due to the isolation of the tribes responsible for preventing such, and the statistical distribution of females that were scarified as virgins, most tribes had to make a decision to continue growing their tribes or to appease the volcano gods by sacrificing said virgins.
Unfortunately, sexual attraction won out to keeping the Volcano Gods appeased, and the volcanos would erupt sooner rather than later."
ELLE3773 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:35:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you happen to work at the r/ShittyAskScience observation laboratory of things and stuff?
Sam-Gunn ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and I'm also prepared to be an uncle someday when/if my sister gets married and has kids.
tlalocstuningfork ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:36:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh, shows what you know.
Everyone knows that you perform human sacrifices to have a good harvest year.
Praise Xipe Totec!
ShouldersofGiants100 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:49:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not having a volcano destroy your crops or block out the sun and kill them IS a good harvest year.
CuChulainn314 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PRAISE THE FLAYED LORD!
WorstPopeEver ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:05:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better yet, on a cruise around the Hawaiian Islands, a family friend (in her 50's)asked the tour guide if they turn on the lava flow every night for the tourists... (in unison my family took two steps back to distance ourselves)
NukaSwillingPrick ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:44:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can hear my grandmother asking this. ๐
TheLooooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted just for the part where you and the whole family took 2 steps back...
crielan ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:57:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's all a conspiracy of big vinegar and baking soda.
XenuLies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the Baking Soda, but where do I buy the Big Vinegar?
anacondatmz ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:17:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people are just assholes Johnny.
Postius ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:27:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To kill of the goddamn subterranean crab people offcourse
0-90195 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:12:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A similar experience: a class about how volcanos work (i.e., origin, why they erupt, etc) and a student asks, "How does the lava know how to find its way to the volcano?"
Upboats_Ahoys ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:00:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know, ask L. Ron Hubbard."
gaffney2010 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:27:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Virgin shortage.
throwaway969798 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well at least he was on the right planet.
ManlyBeardface ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:18:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they are in grade school this is actually a very good question. It's an opportunity to plant the seeds of existential crisis into the next generation.
Mock_Frog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:41:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taco Bell
Epicninja0101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what they say, "Some men just wanna watch the world burn."
Naberius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do we even have that lever?
crielan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's all a conspiracy of big vinegar and baking soda.
Sexy_sharaabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the lulz of course. Those idiots who die in them just don't get that it's just a prank bro
Terribuddhist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For sweet disaster movies
Lord_Fuzzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can only imagine how confused he would be if he lived near me. Volcanic eruptions was the name of a strip club.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably the least dumb question in this post.
not_perfect_yet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he'll have no trouble believing climate change.
white_rabbit0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student in my high school asked why people would live near a volcano. I should mention that we live in Tornado Alley.
9999monkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
floor is lava game, outdoor version. it's fun
tsnErd3141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there's your answer. Blame those Earth Benders.
Young_Metzgro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For shits and giggles...in no particular order.
I_love_pillows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the glory of Vulcan๏ผthe god of fire
Epic_Doughnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because the people who make them are COMMUNISTS!
maltzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's easy. To send you someone to Lava
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh4dTLJ9q9o
frizbplaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God makes volcanoes erupt.
OTL_OTL_OTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet she was mixing up her info on science fair volcano projects with actual volcanos. Like, maybe she hears lots of people talk about making volcanoes (for science fair projects) and thought they were all talking about actual volcanoes.
ZacPensol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Historians estimate it took the work of 1000's of slaves to hollow out the mountain, 1000's more to fill it with many tons of baking soda, and yet 1000's more to pour in the vinegar.
TheGingerbreadMan22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everything changed when the earth nation attacked
commandrix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, stupid humans, always ticking off Pele the volcano goddess.
MatthewSTANMitchell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I wonder why I eat Taco Bell too.
LOSS35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because without fracking how will we get to that sweet sweet oil?
Jakesnod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They probably asked this question from watching shows and cartoons where the bad guy has a volcano and can erupt it.
lastexorcist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you answer with, "To kill idiots like you?" XD Just a joke.
lastexorcist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you answer with, "To kill idiots like you?" XD Just a joke.
lastexorcist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you answer with, "To kill idiots like you?" XD Just a joke.
lastexorcist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you answer with, "To kill idiots like you?" XD Just a joke.
isurvivedrabies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe if you started your lesson on how its a natural geologic event that question wouldnt have been asked...ive seen this kind of crap happen before, what the fuck does a 10 year old know about volcanoes unless they live near one?
marcuschookt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Volcanic eruptions are an engineered plot to undermine the human foothold on the planet by the corporation known otherwise as Big Nature.
Timestogo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he grow up to be on fox news?
thingandstuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We may laugh at this, but that kind of egotism seems extremely common today.
We've come a long way since thinking we're the center of the universe, and we also haven't.
illtemperedklavier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baking soda and vinegar oversupply.
Droid85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to wonder why people would live in places like Hawaii when the floor is always lava
biogirl52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omfg I cannot stop laughing.
BunkytheClown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a cool way to use up the excess baking soda.
moesif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like your fault for starting with the effects before expaining wtf a volcano is.
eeyore134 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's all Scientology's fault.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Population control. Cuts down on the pollution.
SpottyNoonerism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They fail to honor Pele for too long and she demonstrates her wrath. So, people don't mkae the eruptions, they just don't do enough to prevent them.
cloistered_around ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fairly excusable at 6.
wigg55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couse we fuckt up the atmosphere so fucking bad that our only two options as of this moment are as follows: Big ass bombs, Volcanos. Both of them couse we get a fuckton of dust thrown up to deal with global warming. Its the only thing thats going to have a big enough impact atm. Our options are nukes and setting of volcanos. So yah, its not that dumb.
Imagineamelon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:48:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Compared to this comment, no, the question was not that dumb.
sweetjaaane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should probably ask Oklahoma that
innocuousremark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's hella fun
Noogiess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Canadian!
Rasta_M00se ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biggest surprise when I started teaching was how terrible kids are at geography. Supposed to be taught in middle school but only like 50% can tell the difference between land and water by the time they reach my 9th grade class.
itiscasaboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtgggy
Kingsta8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel as though an "Ask your mother" response would have been suitable here.
oceanbreze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. I now have an excuse to tell my Hawaiian Step-Dad's story. He is not a religious man nor superstitious but had been brought up with stories about respecting Pele, the volcano goddess. For the most part he shrugged the stories off. Kilauea had been erupting. He and Mom went to Hawaii to see it - and found a church where the ENTIRE surrounding decimated landscape was all cooling lava with the church untouched. There is a photo of it somewhere in the Mom's old photo albums
VY_Cannabis_Majoris ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People don't make them. They are naturally occurring
Higher_higher ยท 8019 points ยท Posted at 14:17:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but in 8th grade I had a classmate argue that Martin Luther King freed the slaves. When I tried to correct her she flipped out and started screaming, name calling, etc.
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 5254 points ยท Posted at 15:54:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't free the slaves, he wrote the Bible.
Licensedpterodactyl ยท 4846 points ยท Posted at 16:07:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nailed the Bible to Lincoln's front door
fusionlightcat ยท 1502 points ยท Posted at 17:21:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nailed 95 bibles to lincolns front door
G8kpr ยท 212 points ยท Posted at 20:13:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
95 bibles on lincolns door
95 bibles on the door
One falls down, gets tossed around...
94 bibles on lincolns door!
Lowsow ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 20:52:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't do that to a Bible!
It's a book you need to respect. It goes on the top shelf with the dirty magazines.
capt-awesome-atx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got 95 Bibles on my dresser, yessir
I gots to free slaves
snorting_smarties ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:48:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was initially singing this in my head to the tune of "knocking on heaven's door"
Aoae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you /u/poem_for_your_sprog's alt?
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, definitely not..
In fact, I've always hated poetry assignments in school, because I could never figure out poetry.
breathekeepbreathing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the cadence works a little better as
95 bibles on Abe Lincoln's door
95 books on the door, etc. :]
lagerbaer ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:39:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to nail 95 bibles to Lincoln's front door.
Bears_On_Stilts ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:05:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to elementary school in a Montessori school, taught by some liberal, feminist/progressive nuns who were probably not QUITE church sanctioned. One of them had a very thick Italian accent, and when we were studying European history and the Protestant reformation, her explanation wasn't in perfect English.
Until high school, I thought that Martin Luther's act of protest involved nailing HIMSELF to the cathedral door in imitation of Christ's crucifixion.
Jlpanda ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 21:20:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then parted the Red Sea and led his people to Chicago.
ThatSmallFighter ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:55:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then made a big pyramid for him to get buried in.
Warthog_A-10 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:28:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then raised the pyramid with hydraulic jacks like the other chicago buildings.
Doovid97 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:20:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what are those things called?
WhatCan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:27:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pyramid-shaped things
ThatSmallFighter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was debating whether or not to say "pyramid-shaped thing"
___LOOPDAED___ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:23:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nailed 99 Bibles, but a king James version ain't one.
Vat1canCame0s ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:21:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
**Nailed 95 Bibles to the door of a Ford Lincoln
Pupps18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:11 on April 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
***Nailed a Windows 95 version of the Bible to the door of a Ford Lincoln
jackironwood ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:06:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His famous 95 feces
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:31:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was Lex Luther.
EmeraldFlight ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:36:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/althistory
Roadguy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:48:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed his secretary.
OmniClam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:24:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed four score and fifteen Bible's on Lincoln's door.
Smellzlikefish ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:12:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Invented Windows 95 and the Lincoln Towncar
cerrasaurus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:14:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was Luther Vandross?
921ninja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got 95 bibles and a Quran ain't one
qscguk1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nailed a bible to 95 of lincolns doors
Apocyliptic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as nailed 95 babies to Lincoln's front door. Hopefully it involved anal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nocontext
greyjackal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While only eating worms.
immapsycho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But how did Lincoln nail the other 94 to the door? Did he put a hammer on a rope and try to nail them in?
goshy900 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed 95 Lincoln's to the Bible's front door.
xelxebar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a bitch ain't one?
hikiri ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:01:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nailed Bibles with a score of 4 to Lincoln's door 7 years ago.
clandevort ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:30:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to vandalize church doors, but now I'm a reformed character
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:04:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nailed Lincoln on the Bible's front door.
Mad_Hatter_Bot ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 16:08:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude it was the first Harry Potter dvd
JonatanWest ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 16:39:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so mlk didn't free the slaves, but he nailed the first harry potter dvd to abraham lincoln's front door, which prompted abe to free the slaves?
DungSC127 ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 16:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which cause Hitler went to war with British, and become the first president of United States of Germany...
El_Monstero29 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 17:08:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys are forgetting the part where the great warlord, Harriot Tubman, led the elephants across the Appalachians and descended on Rome.
aizxy ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:36:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no that was Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson leading a cohort of giant scorpions into Egypt and triggering the Exodus of the Jews.
caanthedalek ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:36:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a wonderful historic recreation of the battle here.
pyronius ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:26:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you're thinking of when st. Patrick led the children out of ireland to diddle them in a cave.
CaptainRan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No that wasn't St Patrick that was Muhammad and don't worry the kids were his wives.
Tantes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:46:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Class dismissed.
Simple_ton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys are so wrong. MLK built roads for a living. He built a street in every major city. Go look. they even have his name on 'em. 'Idiots.
dreakon ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:17:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a History major, your comment gave me a small mental breakdown.
Evning ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
could you break down the references for a historical layman?
matzorgasm ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:37:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Martin Luther (Christian Reformation) nailed his 95 theses (criticisms of the Catholic church) to a door, Abe Lincoln freed the slaves (kind of), and Martin Luther King was a civil rights leader.
Enect ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:16:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worth mentioning that each of these were at least 100 years apart from one another
Evning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks!
dreakon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What /u/matzorgasm said. I mean, you can be (begrudgingly) forgiven for mixing up Martin Luther and Martin Luther King. Throwing Abraham Lincoln in the mix is just too much.
Evning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha the i guess that would a stretch to link king and lincoln only by their contribution to the african american race.
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok, my undergrad is in history. That's why I went to law school. Not a lot of money in history and I like money.
StonBurner ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:27:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the same Bible he used to kill vampires with?
jim10040 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On November 11, 1911, at 11:00 in the morning.
Stereo_Panic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:07:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was at 11:12 in the morning. He meant to do it at 11:11 but left without his hammer and had to go back for it.
jim10040 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:21:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's right! He said "I'll be back in a minute." I remember that now.
TheHealadin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that was the kindergarten cop who didn't want a young Hellen Keller to freak out while he popped off to the bathroom.
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She could still smell.
aabicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same day Skyrim came out!
Dufusbroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:53 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Martin Luther King Sr. Died on November 11th in real life.
LeftyDan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was Martin Luther until then, but Lincoln was so touched he gave him the title 'King'
HMSheets ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:18:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually happy that I decided to pay attention in history classes beacuse this is hilarious.
MADDOGCA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nailed a Lincoln to a Bible in Martin Luther King's front door.
DronePirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant. I am using this.
Nein1won ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/almosthistory
thoughtsome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lincoln? Oh you mean Pope Abraham
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
George Washing-TUUUUN, George Washing-TUUUUN
miragebleu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bro that is multi leveled
AllOurAckbar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands, if I recall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody knows his history, I mean is awesome how his protest made a new religion, the Rastafarism
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm obsessed with the history of Rastafarian. A carribean religion that worships a dead Ethiopian emperor and encourages marijuana consumption. I'm in.
TaricaHomomorphism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Lincoln used that Bible to hunt vampires.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was Lincoln the guy with the cotton gin?
VriskyS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Floated in a casket down the river
MissMarionette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Four score and 20 years ago, Abraham Lincoln crossed the Atlantic and discovered the automobile."
ST0NETEAR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best one.
FightFromTheInside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then dropped nukes on Japan
eeyore134 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With George Washington's teeth made out of cherry tree wood.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....That's actually a damn funny picture in my mind.....
Arancaytar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Along with ninety-five of his prostheses.
Kashyyk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same week ol' Ben Franklin invented electricity. Seriously, how do people not know this!?
Stricherjunge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is a bible, if you're brave enough." - Abraham Lincoln
ethanrosssellers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nailed Abe Lincoln against his front door
surprisepinkmist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did he nail the other bible to his door though?
surprisepinkmist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did he nail the other bible to his door though?
Cenomaniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pans to Matthew McConaughey touching the Bible, opening the door, and saying a single word - "biblical" - before driving off into a Nevada night, a single page left floating in midair.
Lincoln.
666666t ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:56:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pretty sure that's the wrong martin luther, wrong door, and not the bible.
SpeakMouthWords ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:07:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke.
666666t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, i know, i guess i wanted to help make sure that everyone who read this knew what the joke was referencing.
KerbalSpaceExplorer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:14:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You kidding me? He invented Lutheranism!
inb4 downvotes
Kaeflaith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You joke, but in college we had to do a project on our cultural heritage. One of my classmates was giving a presentation on her German heritage, and in the section on religion and faith said that her family was Lutheran and that Lutheranism was the most common religion in Germany, whose members followed the teachings of Martin Luther King. Not even Martin Luther King Jr.; just Martin Luther King. In college. And her family was Lutheran.
KerbalSpaceExplorer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that also marks the first person I've ever seen to identify as Lutheran rather than Protestant. She might have confused the terms, which would explain her ignorance as to the actual founder of Lutheranism.
Audioslave212 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:29:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The German Martin Luther translated it from Latin right? That's pretty close
rockeh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:00:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that was Martin Luther King James.
swagtastic_anarchist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:54:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You joke but Martin Luther actually wrote his own translation of the Bible into German and also a commentary on the Bible leading to certain books he disliked being turned into the Apocrypha which was eventually taken out of protestant bibles. So, that statement isn't that far off.
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:59:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew my history degree would come in handy someday.
Nilmor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't write the Bible, He destroyed the death star.
Reddegeddon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duh, how else do you think he became a reverend?
cyncount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Morgan Freeman's voice
CarneDelGato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how he became a reverend.
bodhemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was Martin Luther King JR. Duh
ahfdjczbcj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ!
JustinGitelmanMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So he was black jesus?
ducktapedaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you're thinking of his dad.
Naldaen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No that was LeBron, dummy.
rdness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, technically it's a collaboration with Kevin James. It is called the KING JAMES bible, not the KING bible.
vertebrate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he nailed feces to the door?
MasterCJM2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why else would it be called Lutheran
zippyboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Martin Luther King James edition
SkinSuitUnSub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and he wasn't the President he was a Monarch .
Maddisonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Martin Luther King James Version
SpaghettiButterfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't he the guy from big mommas house?
leviathan908 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kanye freed the slaves and wrote the Bible
Foxfire2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he started the Protestant reformation. Or maybe that was MLK senior.
ThaNorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't write the Bible, he invented gravity.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:46:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you know that he didn't.
Higher_higher ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:55:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh yeah, Im the one who tried to correct her.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I meant write the Bible.
Higher_higher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cant imagine anyone would think that.
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Martin Luther started the Protestant Reformation. MLK was a 20th century civil rights leader. Lincoln freed the slaves in 1864 (give or take a year). It was a joke.
Andjhostet ยท 1906 points ยท Posted at 16:40:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez, what an idiot. Everyone knows it was Martin Luther King Jr that freed the slaves.
2059FF ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 21:24:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dad wrote the Bible, son freed the slaves. What a family. No wonder so many streets are named after them.
akamustacherides ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:34:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Martin Lawerence King Crimson III wrote the Bible that freed the slaves.
tbonemcmotherfuck ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Harriet Tubman sat at the back of the bus like all the cool kids do
Kingsta8 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:50:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Harriet Tubman was Martin Luther King Jr. wife and sat on the front of the bus. Rosa Parks was the first black president.
DirtayDane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:19:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No Jr. Saved the Jews.
VicFatale ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Sammy Davis.
handsomesteve88 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:09:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he was the son of the guy who nailed his 99 problems (none of which were bitches) to the church door
Ololic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because Malcom X had a dream
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spicy
Jesuslordofporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Martin Luther King was the one who created the slaves. Obv
apculture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one else seemed to notice. Thanks for setting the record straight..lol
Mikulak25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
STUPID from any point of view
gitsgrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he was the 95 theses guy.
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 16:54:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
swissarm ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 17:41:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What I hate is when someone takes what you say, makes assumptions and generalizations and lashes out at you. Ex:
So you don't believe in No Child Left Behind? You think that some kids should get NO attention, that they should just be pushed through school then thrown out in the world even when they can't survive? You're okay with CHILDREN growing up to be homeless and dying on the streets? Fuck you.
doctorocelot ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 17:56:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's called a strawman argument. Reddit call a lot of things strawmen incorrectly, that's an example of an actual strawman.
MundaneFacts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that be slippery slope?
iwantt ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:19:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it would be a slippery slope, but not a slippery slope fallacy.
A slippery slope fallacy would be along the lines of "so you don't believe in No Child Left Behind? Next you're gonna take away Pre-K education?"
doctorocelot ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite. A slippery slope takes one thing they have said and then continues it to its "logical" conclusion. A slippery slope argument can be valid if the steps to the conclusion are actually logical. A slippery slope fallacy uses false logic in getting to the "logical" conclusion.
A strawman is when you reword the persons argument to a position that is easier to argue against (but isn't actually what they were claiming) and then refute the new position. The hope with strawmaning is that the person won't notice that you have switched the terms of their argument.
In this situation the strawman has been pretty blatant: "you believe in X so you must also think Y, well we all agree Y is wrong so X must be wrong too".
A slippery slope would have the form: "you believe X, but if X then Y would be next and before you know it Z". Which could be a valid or invalid argument depending on how logical the steps X-->Y and Y-->Z were.
Pasglop ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:55:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what was better? I was talking about Corsica on r/europe, and out of the blue, some random dude calls me names and insinuates I am a Breton Nazi.
Ooookay.
swissarm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. That's that one town. From all those things.
this_guy_fvcks ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:01:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the tangential associations. You're either identical to me, or your identical to my enemy.
My wife can't stand Donald Trump, but she's a pretty moderate and reasonable person. Her aunt, who is a high school dropout, posted a rant on Facebook (go figure) about a Trump policy that she either fabricated or somebody else fabricated and she just took as fact. My wife pointed out that he's never actually said or implied the thing she was ranting against, and her immediate reply was (paraphrased for anti-doxing, but leaving the condescension and grammar in place) "Oh, honey. Your so clueless. Go back to wineing about emails and worshiping your wall."
My wife (a well read, college educated professional) was very open with her preference for Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump through the entire campaign cycle on the very platform she was now being accused of "wineing" about emails on. But in the mind of this woman, since she wasn't 100% on board with her FWD: FWD: FWD: anti Trump message, she must be 100% on board with Trump, himself. No such thing as 50/50 or even 95/5.
swissarm ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:16:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People think if you defend someone over one little thing people claim they said/did, that you're a supporter of them. No, it means you're a logical human being. The whole "us vs. them" mentality is exactly what's wrong with American politics.
this_guy_fvcks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. This particular woman and one of her daughters have fallen so deeply into this trap that they've been slowly isolated from the rest of the family.
It's such a shame too, because the whole us vs them thing is a false concept constructed by political strategists to further their own careers, and then amplified by a highly augmented communication method called social media. Its origin isn't some noble stand for righteousness that they're taking too far. It's basically an elaborate PR campaign from the 80s and 90s that's caused these people to drive themselves away from their own family.
Esparno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me the other day in a small subreddit.
This guy left an infant in his car to go into a Hot Topic for over 20 minutes, and was arrested.
I replied to someone acting like he was inhuman and basically said "This guy isn't a monster, we're all capable of lapses in judgement. He's still a human being." and people acted like I was defending him or his actions.
From his mugshot he's a 40 year old white dude with dreads. He's clearly a fuck up who fucked up and should be in jail. But he's still human. The potential for good is still there.
TheRedJester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might be interested in the story of Lyn Balfour. There are actually many write-ups of her story and that's just a quick one I pulled up on Google, but it really puts things in perspective.
Nobody wants to think that they could possibly do something like that, but it's literally just a lapse in memory that any human is capable of. Like you, I'm not arguing that there shouldn't be consequences or that these people did everything right. But they are human, and these stories are the absolute worst consequence of the most simple human mistake of forgetfulness.
Edit: I realize the stories are also different in that one person purposely left their child while going into the store, and the other completely forgot their child was in the car. Different situations, but the same point in that as bad as these actions can be, they amount to a simple lapse of judgment or memory that any person can have, and that doesn't make them a monster.
zzzzz94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan haidt's book is all about how people form their beliefs and why they are hesitant to change. I strongly recommend
wikkedfairy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a self serving bias. People read and twist it how they want to support their own argument. They try to make sure the other person is discredited for any "disagreement " even if they totally agree and like you said expands on something the other person feels is untrue.
Suicidal_Ghost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Confirmation bias. People tend to believe that which supports their own ideals/thoughts/ agenda and presenting them with evidence to the contrary has the opposite effect than expected. Instead of opening their eyes they dig their heels in deeper and claim the facts to be false or misleading and end up shunning those that challenge their beliefs. In the end (as seen in social media) they end up insulating themselves completely from others that do not reaffirm their thoughts.
_calling_you_out_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cognitive Dissonance
Mad_V ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. They are dumbasses.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RockStarState ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a REALLY extreme jump. NPD is a cluster of behaviours and traits, this specific behaviour can be found quite commonly without NPD being present.
shane201 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:06:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I thought Martin Luther was MLKs father until I seen a picture of him...
this_guy_fvcks ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:02:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you knew Martin Luther and Martin Luther King were different people moves you to the right side of the curve in the US education system, unfortunately..
NMU906 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister: wasn't MLK friends with Jesus?
shane201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a world religions class, and part of the notes we were taking was about Christianity and the different branches. I see Martin Luther was the father of the Lutheran Church , and my mind automatically associateed him with Martin Luther King Jr. It took me a few months while I was reviewing for the final exam that I realized they were not related.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They both wrote stuff
burdturgler1154 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:11:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CHECK YOUR HISTORY PRIVILEGE
EvanHarper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
who the fuck upvotes these comments
LadySmuag ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:38:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had something similar happen. And that's when I learned that our tiny, middle-of-nowhere public school had a woman on staff who's sole job was 'race relations'. We had maybe three black kids. As an adult, I wonder if she now spends all her free time on reddit. I can't imagine that she has enough work to keep her busy for 40 hours a week
Higher_higher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What would she do all day? My HS was about half black and hispanic, maybe thats what w needed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had the same thing in high school, our school was about 5% black at most. We had a 20-something year old black lady in charge of race relations at a school where a few of the teachers were ex-KKK members and most of the older ones had been hardcore segregationists in the '60s and '70s. Needless to say, they didn't listen to her and she quit my sophomore year.
rahyveshachr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:31:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorta related but the first time I learned about Martin Luther I thought it was such a funny coincidence that he and MLK had the same name. I didn't know that people name their kids (or adopt a name) after other people.
Pinglenook ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:07:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was ten or eleven I did my speech thingy on Martin Luther King. I'm in Europe and our primary school history curriculum hadn't really covered anything post-WW2 yet. After my introduction, one (protestant) girl was very upset that the teacher wasn't stopping me from making up all kinds of idiotic things, because she had only heard of the 1500s monk!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm named after Jefferson Davis and my son told his third grade classmates that I used to be the President. One of them asked if it was true when I picked my son up from school one day, I just joked that I guess I'd aged well for being 200 years old.
DictatorDictum ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:01:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like some aggressive mansplaining, my dude. Did you even think about the potential damage to her headcanon?
password55 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:29:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what the white man wants you to believe!
BrawndoTTM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hostility and namecalling when presented with historically correct facts. Girl has a mighty fine career in the SJW business to look forward to.
cs_katalyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
was this kellyann conway in the young years?
nadir7379 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, who did actually free the slaves?
Fazer2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:49:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abradolf Lincler.
Ex_iledd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Albert Einstein.
Snake-N-Roses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moses
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In religious studies we had to make a short presentation on historical figures that have affected Christianity and one classmate got assigned Martin Luther. Of course, not being interested in religion, history, or studying in general, he did the presentation on the first hit on Google, Martin Luther King Jr.
The teacher was not amused.
Kang_andor_Kodos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's nuts. Anything happen after she calmed down?
Higher_higher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I just turned around in my desk and shook my head kinda laughing.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, several adults are convinced that black people didn't get the right to vote until the civil rights act was passed. People are shocked to learn that black people were voting since the mid 1800s.
greenlightning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/AwSy6N6ScHU
john85john ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
she was giving you alternative facts i can see why she flipped out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That classmate's name? Albert Einstein
SuperCarbideBros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One anecdote: when I was a little kid sometimes I would confuse Martin Luther King with Martin Luther.
BecozISaidSo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the teacher once tell me "good guess, but no" when I answered that Atlanta is the capital of Georgia. He turned out to be cool though when he apologized in front of the class the next day. He had got in his head that it was Macon or something...
RedIsBlackDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many would argue there are still slaves in the US.
Higher_higher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As in unpaid workers?
000xxx000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some say they still aren't free
sonofawitch1983 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to middle school with someone who legitimately thought that Christopher Colombus was the first man on the moon.
REOCrackwagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a girl (16 at the time) who had JFK, MLK and Abraham Lincoln confused for the same person, in that he was a US president who wore a funny hat and was shot in the head for being fond of black people.
mazimaxi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a co-worker who thinks he was the first black president. In the same conversation she confused lincoln with columbus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife teaches at a small, rural Catholic school. One of the other teachers did not know the difference between Martin Luther and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
boomheadshot7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like she has a promising future with the BLM crowd.
cajungator3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, my dad's girlfriend told me that and she is in her 60's. She was literally alive when he was alive.
stpsr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This exact same thing happened in my high school English class.!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Higher_higher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno. I had a couple of classes with her and she just didnt give a shit about education.
msdesireeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been this teacher. I don't think I ever got in a yelling match about it, but I taught for more than ten years and encountered this idea more than once.
bstrong9211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God I was apparently repressing a memory of this exact thing happening to me. But instead of a classmate it was my friends OLDER brother.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he invented peanut butter?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bet she was black. Had a black student get really angry at me for saying Harriet Beecher Stowe was a white person
Luuree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anuda day, anuda play..." -Martin Luther King
jaguilar94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like every black Lives Matter activist.
Realhuman221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if what she was trying to imply that the African Americans were metaphorical slaves to the institution? Since it was very hard for blacks to vote, move into certain neighborhoods, and get certain jobs they were in a system of living that forced them to work and have no representation, they were basically slave. Post Script: I know the girl did not mean that.
Gar-ba-ge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future Trump supporter confirmed.
Kingsta8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got into a religious argument with a girl in high school. Teacher noted a few things in the bible which clearly didn't take place. Girl got angry and loud to which I argued that a lot of things in the bible don't even make sense in context with other events in the bible and it only covers such a tiny space of land on Earth. To which she replied
Even the teacher was perplexed by that one.
squeakyshoe89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today a black, very politically conscious 8th grader said to me "eff Abraham Lincoln" when I told him that Lincoln was the first Republican President. He changed his tone when I said that in that time the Republicans were the ones who wanted to end slavery.
panda388 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have had many students that think MLK is white.
Higher_higher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who would think that?
GrannnySmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like the approach of a certain liberal political affiliation.
monzzter221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like every liberal.
0.o
SubduedChaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on what your definition of a slave is.
robbierottenisbae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's one of the dumbest reasons for getting TRIGGERED I've heard
Rayvenwolf13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically he unlocked the mental chains of slavery on black people. That is he made them "woke". Maybe that's what they are thinking? I mean I know it's a reach, but I like to give people a chance.
Higher_higher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, she thought he literally freed the slaves. She wasnt using some kind of metaphor or I assume she would have explained it.
Rayvenwolf13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my...
noodlemandan ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? Was she a clueless suburban white chick?
Higher_higher ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:36:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black chick. Kinda ghetto.
Myke_Dubs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:52:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course
NotUrAvrgNarwhal ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:31:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he was joking because it was kind of obvious what kind of person would be making such a situation happen.
skilledwarman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The exact kind OP said?
Espdp2 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be a racist.
Sinistrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory: http://i.imgur.com/P6Kufnl.jpg
Helmerj ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TRUMP SUPPORTER!!!!!!
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Higher_higher ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:01:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, of course! Then yelled a bunch of racist stuff at me for being white.
RazzPitazz ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because you appropriated her view on history.
panchowarriortrilogy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:44:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably believes in flat earth now. Sounds about right for a flat earther.
Flat earth moron- "earth is flat! Secret NASA is lying to us'"
Everybody else-"are you fuvking serious? The earth is not flat"
Flat earth Morin proceeds to scream and insult everyone around them while making themselves sound like they are in the lower 1% of human intelligence.
TuxedoJesus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her name was Elizabeth Warren
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:49:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lemme guess, they called you a racist? Ahh yes, the boogeyman of our time.
nukelover89 ยท 2608 points ยท Posted at 14:09:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife went to school to be a HS history teacher and when she had her semester of student teaching one of the students asked if china had grass while another who insisted that wind-mills made wind.
ElderlyPowerUser ยท 617 points ยท Posted at 15:31:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Windmills do not work that way. Goodnight!
DoctorGarbanzo ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 15:45:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Morbo.
Kang_andor_Kodos ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:15:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahahahaha!
QuantumVexation ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:36:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I recognised that line, thank you
JInxIt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:14:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought they were the world's propellers. Don't they make the world spin on its axe? xD
s629c ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:43:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isnt that what the North and South Pole is? A big windmill?
JInxIt ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:11:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's where they put the sails so we can soar through space, right?
Dreamcast3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:27:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's why they're white
JInxIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heheee
Xtinguish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:58:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, those are two poles holding the earth so the windmills make the world spin rather than push it across space.
twoLegsJimmy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:37:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, I don't think I'm ever going to be first to a Futurama reference on reddit.
Calamity701 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:34:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant XKCD
corran450 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:47:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kittens give Morbo gas...
Incidentally, the windmills bit is one of my all time favorite Futurama quotes. No idea why, it just tickles me.
tinkerpunk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:59:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey Morbo, how's the family?"
"BELLIGERENT AND NUMEROUS."
If_In_Doubt_Lick_It ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:42:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im partial to his convo with his wife at the silk surplus display. "its fine.. Its.. Stop... Stop it... I will destroy you."
edmontonpi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite line from my favourite character. I am also a fan of:
Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that's shaped like a man wearing a hat.
Linda: It's a T. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!
everlastingSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it's morning...
breakone9r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure? Every time it's windy, I see a bunch of windmills spinning like giant fans!
NinjahBob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quite the opposite, they take away the wind!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GroggyNodBagger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But not escalators?
Crowbarmagic ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:45:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of that public official who was worried that there would be no more wind if we would build too many windmills.
Fabgrrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God, my neighbor says that too. He's actually a reasonably intelligent person otherwise. I can't understand why he thinks this....???
HeyCasButt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:15:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if you really want to get technical its true. We just don't have a sufficiently advanced windmill to harvest all the wind. I mean the sun would still unevenly warm the earth but conceptually you could have something that harvested it so fast that by human perception there'd be essentially no wind. But with anything that even resemble a mechanical windmill like we have now, no way. plenty of wind to go around.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try asking him in 100F degree Florida
supremecrafters ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 16:38:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an existential crisis walking home from elementary school because I didn't know where the wind came from.
I asked my science teacher the next day and he said the sun so I was okay after that.
GroggyNodBagger ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:41:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious lol
Megatron_McLargeHuge ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:12:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Solar wind does not work that way. Good night.
supremecrafters ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:30:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, it's the expansion and contraction of the atmosphere as different parts of the earth rotate to face towards/away from the sun.
officialxian ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 15:53:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if you had no prior knowledge of windmills and just looked at the word itself for a clue, it would seem that a mill for wind would make wind just as other mills make products (paper, pulp, etc)
halfdeadmoon ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 16:55:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and visually, they look like fans, which do move air, and which children would be familiar with
Chris11246 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:33:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshly ground wind straight from the mill is the best.
Dustin_00 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:27:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's all sorts of things kids are learning and guessing, but for a kid to insist on something I'm fairly certain there's a Calvin Father involved.
FearTheCron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vineyards sometimes have things that look like windmills but are actually giant fans. http://www.winemakingtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13225
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:55 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
puppies
Furt77 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:23:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lumber mills make lumber, flour mills make flour, and steel mills make steel, so of course windmills make wind. I'd say that's pretty solid logic.
bustahemo ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:21:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is my favorite simply because when I was reading it, I imagined the two students were arguing with each other in some strange fashion.
Student 1: Does China Have grass?
Student 2: Windmills make wind, man.
Student 1: But does China have grass?
Student 2: Their wings spin so fast they make wind. They give us breezy days.
Student 1: DOES CHINA HAVE GRASS!?
Student 2: And they're kind of awesome, you know. Like, people take pictures of wind mills... probably out of respect for them making wind and all.
PSYKO_Inc ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:51:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing one of the "circle" scenes from That 70s Show.
Gardevoir_LvX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up, Kelso.
PSYKO_Inc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ow my eye!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marbotty ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:45:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's because most adults are right-handed.
irotsoma ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:15:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The windmill thing is one of those political anti-science, anti-renewable-energy things, so they may have heard it from their conservative relative or something. Somehow it got around that the wind farms were creating wind as a side effect or something silly and people got all upset that they were putting them in places and causing wind related damage to homes and such.
Glitch_King ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:11:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard someone insisting that building windmills in the countryside was stupid because "They already have a lot of wind, they should build them in the city, we could really use a good breeze in the summer."
To be fair, she was fairly drunk at the time.
srcarruth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when I was very little I asked my mom if the Air Conditioners outside my Grandma's apartment made wind. Mom said "yes". thanks Mom.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not only does China have grass, they have the most insane grass on the planet! Bamboo is fucking nuts. An inch a day of growth, one of the toughest types of wood, and it even takes a pretty fantastic edge if you cut it into thirds and sharpen it.
alter_ego77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if the asshole that you buy your house from plants it, you will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever get rid of it. Ever. Not with landscapers or pesticides. You will consider salting and burning the earth, if you thought it might work.
You know...hypothetically.
Cappa_01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well a saw mill takes wood and makes lumber, so a wind must take air and mill it into wind. It's just science
AutumnKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paper mills make paper. Steel mills make steel. The logic follows.
DrunkenGolfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The windmills in Korea are turned off at night so they don't kill all the sleeping Koreans.
Rephaite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An interesting bit of historical trivia: 70 million years ago, nobody had grass.
nukelover89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or wind
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's ridiculous, everyone knows that wind comes from trees flapping their branches.
Nukatha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The windmill should have said 'I'm not a big fan'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The wind blows when the windmill moves, can't explain that.
diamondhead24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... Technically those aren't that dumb of questions. Seriously. There are entire states (maybe) and giant regions of land without grass, and windmills do make wind. They cut the friction and redisperse the wind in different directions. Also, pretty sure some are mechanical and literally make wind, have an internal turbine which collects power and saves electricity. Edit: I don't know what a turbine is.
dpistachio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY5rKYsmaMY
mrthescientist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the grass question sounds alright. They have different kinds of flora in different parts of the world. Who's to say China doesn't have grass? They might only have hay instead! Or worse, dandelions!
laowai_shuo_shenme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, puppy mills make puppies, steel mills make steel, and saw mills make saws, so it seems pretty logical for wind mills to make wind. Cut the kid some slack!
ObamaBiden2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In defense of the kid who asked if China had grass, I didn't know Afghanistan had snow until about 2 years ago.
FrogPrinceLuckey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Windmills do not work that way- Morbk
MasterXylophone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live in China and I couldn't tell you whether or not it has grass.
gray_-_wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's a new one, will remember this :)
RepC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait.. they don't?
ForrestISrunnin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was she able to find a job as a history teacher after graduation? I'm in school majoring in history, minor in education and from my knowledge it's hella hard to get a history teaching gig
(I could be completely wrong and just need to look in other areas)
Quinocco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bamboo is a grass.
defrgthzjukiloaqsw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, they could make wind if we wanted them to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kinda shows how lazy reporters are. I wonder how many shots of Beijing we get from the windows of hotel rooms.
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they have grass but had to re-plant most trees after Mao died So their cities have no trees more than about 40 years old
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, puppy farms make puppies, sooooo...
Dicknosed_Shitlicker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well they made an entire Superman movie on the premise that weather satellites make weather.
robotot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends once asked "how do windmills make water?"
MusicalCereal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always talked about moving to Canada when I was young, maybe 7 or 8 (we live in the U.S.). It sounded so strange and foreign to me, she always talked about how it was snowy and we would be out in the middle of nowhere and not need to put up with anyone. Well I did not like this idea of moving to Canada, I had friends and stuff and things. Eventually I had it all figured out, this Canada place must be like Antarctica if is cold and isolated right? Well somehow I got in my head that Canadian kids didn't go to school, because they lived in tents and worked outside all day. So I ask my mom "Does Canada have school or houses?" My mom just replies "Of course it does, it's not outer space." I was still really confused at that point, not even sure when I realized what Canada was.
forgotten_penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a place with a lot of windmills. It is also very hot here so we like to tell people that's how we keep the Valley cool.
Nevermynde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One windmill says to another: wouldn't it be cool if we turned our blades the other way to make wind? The other replies: I'm not a huge fan.
bahgheera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work on wind turbines and it's incredible to me the number of people that think wind turbines blow wind instead of harnessing it.
Yorikor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my dad told me that wind is made by trees shaking. I believed that for an embarrassing lo
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could make a pretty good writing prompt.
tmbg47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:21 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I too late? http://i.imgur.com/P6Kufnl.jpg
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:03 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
China having grass is a somewhat legitimate question depending on how old they were seeing as a lot of china is desert.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:47 on March 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher -- A TEACHER -- tell me that Japan doesn't have any trees. This was ninth grade world history.
Blottoboxer ยท 624 points ยท Posted at 15:41:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a friend who is a grade school teacher... "When will my pussy start growing hair?". Plot twist - the student was a male.
Cant_Remember_Anyway ยท 437 points ยท Posted at 16:34:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am slightly concerned for this child's home life.
eoJ1 ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 20:26:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, inappropriate sexual knowledge is a major red flag for child abuse.
Culinarytracker ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 20:38:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like someone is constantly berating him by telling him to "Grow some hair on your pussy!"
hicow ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:22:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lot of inappropriate sexual knowledge from when I was about 4 on - I had older brothers and hung out more with them than the kids my own age.
MooseInASuit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:01 on April 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean they could just have one of those cats that are inside out
paigezero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:35 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very concerned for their poor, bald cat.
EdgarFrogandSam ยท -54 points ยท Posted at 21:00:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 6 year old is trans!
Cant_Remember_Anyway ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 21:13:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's nice for him or her but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about warning signs of sexual abuse because of the language this child is using.
ayyyylalamamao ยท -105 points ยท Posted at 18:50:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somwhere a liberal is triggered by your comment
defiantleek ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 22:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you have a firm grasp on what liberals care about.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 23:44:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or what 'triggered' means
ayyyylalamamao ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:17:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I do. That's why I voted Trump!
Crimmsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:49 on February 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if sarcastic or Trump... if it's the latter I'm a mix of feeling scared and feeling pity for this poor soul who actually voted Trump...
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:16 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a difference between a liberal and a regressive. Plenty of liberals voted for Trump.
ayyyylalamamao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:04 on February 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did you find my comment lol
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:09 on February 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a tendency to go really deep into threads.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 04:09:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It think the 30 downvotes on his and the 80 downvotes on yours are proof that "somewhere" = "reddit".
ayyyylalamamao ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:29:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
more like 100 lmao
ShaidarHaran2 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:07:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone just mislead him about the hairless cat he bought.
Furt77 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:01:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He had a Sphinx cat.
Pingus-lovechild ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:58:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you beat me to it
Varboa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:31:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes Johnny, yes it will"
widermind ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
transgender student maybe?
makeyourownlunch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way back, in a summer program, I knew a kid we called "Big Blue". I once witnessed what was essentially a sermon of a strange dream he had the night before. He was sharing with about five (younger) others his dream of swimming through a woman's vagina and about how much he just wanted to stay there. But point is, he later told his disciples what the word "dick" meant; he told them that a dick is just another word for one's balls. So at least 4-5 children out there at one point thought "dick" meant balls. So I can understand this occurrence quite easily.
Antinous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the few responses that really made me lol
bfanforever ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 00:56:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is gay and was talking about his ass.
iynque ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:58:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's called a "bussy" honey.
mousicle ยท 10630 points ยท Posted at 12:52:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This came up all the time when teaching kids how to do their taxes. I must have had this conversation a dozen times.
Student: Sir I don't know what to do at this part
Me: What does the instruction say on that line?
Student: Add box 23 and 24 and write the answer here
Me: So add box 23 and 24?
I to this day have no idea how you teach someone to follow very explicit instructions.
h3lblad3 ยท 7337 points ยท Posted at 13:23:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, they didn't teach taxes to me in school.
mousicle ยท 2705 points ยท Posted at 13:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had three levels of classes, Essentials, Applied and Academic. With Essentials kids doing taxes and personal finance was an entire unit (we never got beyond multiplying fractions with the essentials kids) With the applied and academic kids I'd do "lets not do math Fridays" every second Friday where we'd do something that wasn't the regular lesson but some real life application or just something cool to do with math, I'd do the taxes talk then.
TheMapKing ยท 811 points ยท Posted at 14:24:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Canadian! (I think)
Did your school happen to have enriched classes or is that a rare thing?
Edit: for those who don't know, my Ontario high school has 4 levels of classes: Locally Developed, Applied, Academic and Enriched. Most people took Academic classes. Enriched classes (only available for maths sciences english and french) provided an extra challenge. You could only take AP tests if you were taking the corresponding enriched classes. I took enriched everything from grade 9 to 11 and then dropped everything to academic except english and chemistry because of the stress of the enriched environment (currently grade 12).
Edit 2: Nobody took hard courses once at the Academic/Advanced level in summer school, then retook them the next fall as Enriched. Summer school is basically only used if either you fail or you don't want to take a required class next year (i.e. taking gr. 12 english in summer of gr. 11). Additionally, you can't take Enriched courses in summer school.
mousicle ยท 399 points ยท Posted at 14:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Canadian our school didn't have enriched, only one school in our city does but we would give an enriched credit to kids in the Academic class that did additional enrichment activity.
Jaudark ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:43:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The right question to ask is not is you're Canadian, but from which province are you from?
Because I never had taxes in school. Unless it's part of an education reform after I finished high school.
mousicle ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 14:47:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ontario but it isn't part of the curriculum its just something I did cause I thought it was important. Also it helps the class to do something different once and a while.
PreventFalls ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:20:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Props to you for doing this. I wish I would have had teachers that strayed from the curriculum like that to go over real like scenarios more often.
mousicle ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:25:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of teachers don't think they have time to fit extra in, which is weird cause I always got way ahead of the other sections and my grades and exam results (every section took the same exam) were usually better. Maybe I just want to toot my own horn at being a good teacher toot
pressthebutt0n ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:23:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I was taught taxation when I was in high school. Graduated and felt like I should stick my thumb up my ass for not knowing shit all about how to do my taxes.
Mal-Capone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 27 and if you were to ask me to do my own taxes, I could probably muddle my way through them, but fuck that I just go to H&R Block.
PrincessSnowy_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My highschool had two whole courses on real life learning. Taxes, calculating costs of loans, monthly budgeting, what we'd need to do to get a car and how to make a resume.
Guess which classes also had the lowest attendance and nobody tried in :/
PreventFalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's unfortunate if people chose not to attend that class. I can see it being boring at that age, but man, it's so beneficial.
dontTHROWnarwhals ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:41:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. My Ontario high school had the applied and academic streams but I don't think it had the essentials one. Is that common?
mousicle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:44:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They have them in every highschool in my city. Maybe yoru town is just way too small and they just give the essentials kids alternate work in the applied classes.
dontTHROWnarwhals ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:19:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh the workplace stream. Right, I forgot about that one, no one I knew took those ones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gravemonera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated 3 years ago from an Ottawa high school and I hadn't known that were enriched courses offered outside of like 2 specific public schools.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:31:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like all levels of math should be doing this.. good job man
thatswhatshesaidxx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:40:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....Brampton by chance?
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
further south sorry I wasn't your teacher
iTRR14 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never thought about teachers being on reddit..
Silly__Rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more like Windsor, or at least Essex county...
Silly__Rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I remember my one teacher taught us how to do taxes, it was a way to get a free $100 (even if you had $0 income). Ah, the good old days, now I just owe, or come out relatively even.
gusthave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated high school in 84 (Ontario), took grade 13 math up until grade 11, grade 12 I dropped down to reg. math (I called it stupid math) and learned how to do taxes, all about mortgages, loans etc. It was fantastic. Kinda like learning to change a tire in drivers ed.
Rinaldi363 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:06:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Canadian from Ontario...? :) jeez I haven't heard all these high school terms in over 10 years. Fuck I feel old
mousicle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:15:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes sir south western ontario
Lexifer31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol right there with you. I was the first year of the new curriculum when I started grade 9. Getting old sucks.
jontss ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:28:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took enriched math in grade 10 which was above advanced. I signed up for enriched grade 11 but not enough people signed up so they cancelled it. After doing great in grade 10 enriched and grade 11 advanced I got to grade 12 finite and calculus and basically almost failed. Probably didn't help that I literally never studied or did homework. Math was just easy before finite and calculus.
figgle1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was me this semester, never did any homework in my first two years of high school so chemistry kicked my ass this semester.
iTRR14 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is me now in college.. never did homework or studied in academic courses for all of high school, now college is kicking my ass.
RedHotFooFecker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the outside that sounds like some sort of extra credit for North Korean kids.
mousicle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canada already has enrichment facilities we are a major exporter of uranium, have a pretty big civilian nuclear power program and were original members of the manhattan project with the brits and US
ButternutSasquatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In BC, the enriched classes learn how to bake cookies and grow plants. Basically intro to marijuana.
ArrowRobber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also Canadian. Instead of an 'enriched' program, I was sent to do artsy stuff to slow me down enough to be at the same place as everyone else?
NapClub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
enriched classes in my school were mostly just a lot of extra freedom and less structured classes with the teacher there mostly to monitor progress.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember sitting in the hall eating cereal cause I was already done my enriched math
NapClub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
about half my class were a full year ahead or more for math... we'd be done by the end of the first ten minutes of class almost every day, at which point we were allowed to use the computer lab. good times. the best part of going to the region's flagship school though was all the funding we got for field trips, every couple weeks a field trip of some sort. i loved the outdoor education center the most though.
theresnoquestion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am Canadian. Our high school had enriched, and applied classes but not sure about any other.
moar-education ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost feel like gathering around and chanting "One of us, one of us" every time another Canadian pops up.
Combinedarms ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:08:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canadian here never learn how to do taxes in school
mousicle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:36:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't in the curriculum I just did extra lessons on fun stuff on Fridays.
Combinedarms ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:44:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your a good teacher
flamedrace ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:54:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this what they call it now? I went to a grade 7-12 school from 7-9 that had an 'enhanced' learning program for gifted students.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't been a teacher for 6 years but that's what it was then.
szucs2020 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is enriched? Our school had everything from special needs (below essential) all the way to IB but I've never heard of it enriched.
RedneckMandi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thinking BC because AB has this stupid numbering system that makes no logical sense to my BC brain.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:10:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in Alberta so I know the stupid numbering system. Grades 10, 11, and 12 are called 10, 20, and 30. Then you have the level you are doing -3 is the essentials, -2 is the applied, and -1 is the academic.
craniumblood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also an Alberta, I thought the number system was frequently used. I guess I was wrong.
Entidus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but I went to a lower tier high school in SW Ontario and we had enriched classes (math and science, maybe English?).
DrAstronautEsquire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Windsor?
Entidus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:00:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
London
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Londoner, I am incredibly curious what your "lower-tier" high school was.
(Not that I know fuckall about London's high schools)
Entidus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL if you can PM me your top three guesses, I will tell you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I don't want to be a creep :v and tbh I can only even name one high school here, I moved here in university and know precisely 0 things about London Youths.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a quality city.
Aurum_MrBangs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it varies from state. I'm in NJ and they teach you how to do your taxes and personal finance in my school.
redspeckled ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also Canadian, and we had the E classes.
Sendrummazing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Wisconsin and we did the same thing
AnonymousWritings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school had applied, college/university, university, and enrichment classes. Made things kind of confusing at times, and must be hard to offer that many different versions of classes.
Moogle02 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school has lots of enriched classes but we also have a gifted program.
jay212127 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What province? We had (from lowest to highest) "Math 14/24", Applied, and Pure Math
PretzelsThirst ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canadian here, we definitely didn't do that.
MadCommando ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Gifted!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL stress.
illtemperedklavier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think mousicle is from Ontario. Also, a teacher got called "sir" in Canada? Where is this?
Edgevine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Ontario high school used the enriched course codes to mean grade 9 & 10 courses where the enrolled students were intending to take AP courses in later grades, just as a data point for you.
iTRR14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school had this as well. Except the enriched was just doing booklets that provided harder concepts and deeper thinking and understanding. Then in grade 11 and 12 math, we would do problems over lunch or after school as a group. Did enriched for advanced functions, said fuck it for Calc.. really wish I did though..., from a post secondary point of view..
Coziestpigeon2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Manitoba we have similar, but they're called Pre-Calc, Regular math, and Applied math. It was implied that applied math was for the stupid kids, but they also learned the most useful stuff in that class.
handlebartender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had no idea that these levels existed.
Source: I went to HS in Ontario when we still had Gr. 13.
Horsedock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All these smart people classes sound hard af. Thank god I barely had to take any math classes because I had 8 semesters of shop classes.
REOCrackwagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to high school in BC, and we had Principles (entry req for a lot of universities, most people took this) and Essentials (taxes and measuring shit). Then after I graduated I think they got rid of one and replaced it with Applied? But yeah I failed Principles and had to take Essentials in order to graduate :(
stang90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was never very good at school, so when I got to highschool, my mom put me in locally developed math and English for no other reason than "it's the easiest, why would anyone choose the harder ones?". It was total retard level pardon my french. Worst semester of my life. Math tests involved remotes with a b c d buttons on them. Don't put your kids in that level unless they're developmentally challenged.
birdmommy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated over 20 years ago - interesting to see that the structure is pretty much unchanged. The names are a bit more tactful though. For us it was Basic, General, Advanced, Enriched. AP wasn't an option for us, but we were told that you had to have Enriched credits to apply to university, and Advanced for college. General assumed you were going into an apprenticeship or something, and basic was... well, basic.
Moving between levels was hard too. I remember my parents losing their shit when my Grade 8 teacher recommended me for General classes (I was in the Grade 8 enrichment program, but my teacher hated my guts). They went to the principal, and he overrode the teacher's recommendation and recommended me for Enriched Grade 9. I'm glad, because otherwise you had to take the same course 3 times (had to pass General to get permission to retake Advanced, had to pass Advanced to re-retake the course as Enriched). I never would have caught up.
Do kids still take hard courses once at the Academic/Advanced level in summer school, then retake it the next fall as Enriched? That was pretty common when I was in high school; one summer no one was in the class because they had failed. We were all there to make sure we were going to be able to pass Enriched. You were allowed to do that for everything except your OACs (Grade 13).
marspovarover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ontario kid here - we had enriched classes (I think ) but that was called enhanced. And it was total bullshit. It was based on some iq test taken on elementary school and you get placed on that stream cause you're "smarter". And if you happened to be in a mixed class teachers would ignore kids not enhanced cause they're not "good enough" even if you had comparable grades. /r
KanyeDeOuest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Central?
First_place_loser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also from Ontario and every school is different in this regard. We had applied, academic, enriched and gifted. Gifted involves an IQ test. The gifted program included every subject except phys-ed and some of the arts (though there were gifted music classes). If any student couldn't handle the program in a specific subject they'd drop down to enriched.
epwnym ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This must be a more recent development in Ontario secondary schools. I only remember there being two levels, though I could be wrong about that.
Then again, I'm from the O.A.C. era of Ontario post-secondary.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:52 on March 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also graduated with OAC. We had Basic General Advanced and Enriched in my city. But my school only had General and Advanced. You'd have to go to the vocational school for basic or the special enrichment school for enriched.
Artvandelay1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's more or less how we do it in Manitoba.
meaganlodon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an Ontario Enriched kid. Great education, polarizing socially.
gypsiequeen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From Ontario, we had a Gifted program, where we were sent to a different elementary school in grade 5 (skipped a math year, did lots of weird puzzles, had cooler science projects), and then in highschool we had different classes from the regular folk. Later in highschool there was just AP classes (Most Maths and Sciences) for all the smart kids, mostly gifted kids but also others that just excelled throughout highschool
I also dropped all those classes when i reached grade 11. I was an art student anyway and AP Chemistry was just like noooo way man.. i think i stuck with the English though
valryuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it was Enhanced classes, not enriched. And you could only get into them if you were identified as gifted. Also, only specific high schools had them (ones that accomodated the gifted kids).
AbsoluteIKeatI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea Nova Scotian and the system described with essentials, applied, and academic is the one I had in my high school.
Cayxcore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd only ever heard of Applied and Academic levels, until I went to one GTA high school where we had the option of a different math class. We did financial stuff like taxes, equity and the like. It was only offered to those in Grade 11.
watson-and-crick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna say that!!
Legend_Zector ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canadian. I've tried to go as hardcore in math/science as possible, I've got AP calculus, AP physics, and enriched chemistry because our school for some reason does not offer AP :(. I couldn't bio to save my life XD
nametakenalready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ontario high school student here, my high school doesn't have enriched programs or teach me how to do taxes. I do get like 20 different shop classes though
EvangelineTheodora ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:04:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My pre-calculus professor had the best response to the question "when will we use this in real life?" I don't remember the math, but she gave an exact example with NASA's project SOHO (solar satellites) for thanking the positions of the satellites. She works at Goddard Space Flight Center, so she always had the best examples.
fradetti ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:36:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I guess Academic is basically a tax dodging class.
mousicle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well with them I talked more about the ideas behind how taxes work and less on the mechanics of doing them. Whats the difference between a tax credit and a tax deduction and which benefits what kind of people more, how are taxes used to influence behaviour, why we have marginal brackets.
dumbcake1234 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this in Canada ?
mousicle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:41:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yessir
Gilgamore ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:17:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His name is "Mousicle" do you really have to ask?
iTRR14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last few winters have been surprisingly mild..
Evil_Dick_Turder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:59:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you deviated from the normal lesson plan in order to teach kids useful and important life skills? I'm becoming more and more impressed with Canada everyday. Please don't build a wall (which we'd probably agree to pay for) to keep US citizens out.
Stevet159 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:43:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I was with you until you said it was an essentials class. The only thing essential classes told you was that your parents didn't love you, or you had a learning disability. I'm a moron and I still took all academic classes, so I feel like as a teacher of an essentials class, adding box 24 to box 23 is an abstract enough idea that you should be working on the way you explain things. Not making fun of disadvantaged kids on the internet.
Schonfille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your spelling and grammar (and ability to formulate a thought) are all there. I think that should place you squarely above moron level.
Stevet159 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks, but my point was academically I was a failure
Tesabella ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oxford commas save lives.
Schonfille ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch, that nomenclature must be demoralizing for the students. "Stick to the essentials, kid. It's the most you can handle."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but really its just different names for essentially the same thing. I didn't want to convolute things too much
Haramburglar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which part of Canada are you? In Ontario we replace "essentials" with "locally developed". I think we should change to your name.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
South Western Ontario. I haven't been a teacher in 6 years so that's what they called it when I was in a school. I'm an accountant now so I double love taxes.
jimlaheyandrandy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like the school everyone in the world should go to.
WhenRomansSpokeGreek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I've been asked to sub in a math class, I did this . I have an entire binder dedicated towards making math classes fun and informative by making them actually think about math in the lens of reality. The kids love it. I did get some questions from administration about the card games I taught everyone, because they turned into some mini-gambling ring within a week. Either they, they were learning about math, which is the most important thing to me as a teacher.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also got in trouble for teaching kids how to play blackjack as part of teaching probabilities and stats.
IlliterateSquidy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have that at my school, except academic do nothing but things that don't apply. (well, we actually have 5, but the top do Uni work and the bottom do basic addition)
wyteoliander ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Canadian Private school. We only had academic and then the smarter kids out of those took university and Calculus. (That's what I did).
My brother went to public school and failed grade 9 essentials 3 semesters in a row. One day he got permission to write the tax exam during a spare. My brother instead brought it home, my mom (a tax preparer) did the exam with him and he took it back to class and placed it under the teachers desk so that she thought she had lost it.
That one A got him an overall pass FINALLY and he never took math again.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
don't you need 3 maths to get your diploma? Did he never get it or did he do some alternate locally developed math?
wyteoliander ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He managed to finally get some kind of thing that gave him permission not to have to do math anymore and he did graduate. Since he knew he wasn't going to uni I think it didn't matter as much.
He is very smart and has a great career, he just sucks at math.
flyingwind66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey my highschool did that too! I remember one lesson where my teacher explained mortgages to us. I had another teacher show us how to calculate different types of interest with an excel spreadsheet! Our math classes were called essentials, applied and principles though... probably all the same but with different names
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMO taxes should be taught at all levels. Like, why the fuck isn't it? Students constantly ask "when am I going to use this shit in real life?". Well there you go!
blackberrycat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except you need "Academic" to get into university and that class didn't include taxes. So now I'm super educated, but still a moron.
silian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, here in NS we didn't have applied and it instead went Essentials (for people who would fail the regular class and really only existed so they could get kids out of the school at 18) >Academic (the vast majority of students took this) >Advanced (Academic with like 1 extra unit covered per semester) and then AP which I'm pretty sure is it's own thing.
balancerof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish education was like that in the states.
phrygidbeats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I really wish I had that kind of school. I am so clueless about all that stuff now
Laockey35 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:02:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dear god this needs to be done in ALL SCHOOLS. the amount of people who come out of college that dont know anything about taxes is baffaling, but hey i can tell you how WW1 started that should help with my sales job right??
Anathos117 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:13:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most people coming out of highschool have extremely simple taxes; if you can read and do basic arithmetic, you should have no trouble. The class he described was for people who couldn't do basic arithmetic.
mousicle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:35:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was all levels actually. The Essentials kids were the ones that could barely do arithmetic but the applied and academic kids were headed to a university or trade school. With them I'd talk more about why we pay taxes what a tax credit and what a tax deduction was, why certain things got you deductions, marginal brackets and why that was a good idea vs a flat tax. Different lessons for different skill levels.
Anathos117 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A single lesson on taxes as a break from regular instruction isn't what people typically mean when they say schools should teach how to do your taxes.
shevrolet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:46:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But kids with above average math skills shouldn't need any more than that to have them sufficiently filing their taxes. Kids in the lower math level got more time devoted to it.
Anathos117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's why it's so stupid that people complain that schools don't teach it. You can teach a child how to do it in less than an hour. It's not complicated enough to justify a systematic investment in the topic, particularly given its something everyone is going to learn anyway.
ReklisAbandon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:13:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are they, though? I can't count the number of people I've talked to in the USA who want a flat tax system. If they had even a cursory knowledge of our tax code they would realize how stupid that is.
Even a 1 day class on why we pay taxes, what they're used for and how to maximize your refund would be incredibly beneficial to most Americans.
098asaswn998 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:29:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, most of the people arguing for a flat tax system (by which they usually mean flat rate) are higher earners. These are people who think that their taxes would go down under such a system.
I assume you meant "minimize the amount of tax paid". Honestly, this doesn't apply to the vast majority of households. The way you realistically do this is:
Its only when you crack the top 5% of earners that shenanigans help you pay less tax. I'm talking about things like backdoor Roth conversions, optimizing employee stock purchase program (ESPP) sales and setting up trusts for estate planning.
Its worthwhile to spend time doing that when you have a lot more money than the average American, but not when you're near the middle.
Anathos117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or people who support it for ideological reasons and complain about "punishing success".
098asaswn998 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe. But people usually choose a guiding ideology to justify their desired actions.
apoliticalinactivist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the very least, there should be a little break to address taxes, if only to answer the age old question of "when will we use this in real life?"
Woodshadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want that job. That sounds great.
chancethanapper ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 14:30:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It don't even matter I was actin a fool
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:28:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But who would think the tax would turn into racks?
Deepfriedwhale ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:29:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isnt it "raps would turn in to racks"? Or were you making a joke?
Jenga_Police ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:45:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't matter, matter fact, it could happen to you!
Deepfriedwhale ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:13:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scars on my head on the boy who lived
creynolds722 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The boy love playin' when the boy too sick
Deepfriedwhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reclinin on a prayer I'll rely on myself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Deepfriedwhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ive fucked it!
SwiftSwoldier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*I'm the boy who lived
Mr_Fahrenheit_451 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, dope username to come in with that lyric
Average650 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 13:35:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, at long at you know you have to do your taxes, it's not that hard at first. All you do is "add box 23 and 24". It's pretty simple.
68686987698 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:03:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taxes are easy for lower incomes, but a lot of people have to follow convoluted and vague instructions if they own investments, have high-travel jobs or are self-employed, taking advantge of various deductions, own multiple properties, etc. There's a surprising amount of gray area in the tax code beyond a 1040EZ. My taxes take several hours to file, even with software help.
mousicle ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:09:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its easier in Canada, we aren't as deduction based as the US is.
Average650 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:41:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's true. But that's not the kind of situation where a person really needed their high school to teach them how to do it.
PrinceTyke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so confused as to why an average person would be so confused by taxes. For people in your situation, it makes perfect sense to be confused and even to pay someone to do them for you. For people in my situation (and my mother's, as I often do her taxes too), it's simple. We have one source of income and don't own any other fancy financial...stuff.
sparky222b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Silicon Valley person here. Between various stock option exercises, private equity investments, employer expense reimbursements, and non-salary income (benefits, stock bonuses), it's not possible for me to use TurboTax or similar anymore. I'm literally forced to use a human tax preparer. What a hassle.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something someone in Silicon Valley should try to fix.
Tempest_1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:06:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, I've never found taxes hard and I started them when I was 14! I did have my dad to help answer questions, but they call it a 1040 EZ for a reason. Also, the IRS has plenty of resources to help understand their forms.
I've always understood it that taxes get harder if you are actually earning income in more complex ways (investments, etc.)
ostiarius ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:39:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You started when you were 87 billion?
Tempest_1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:58:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun with Factorials!
mousicle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:10:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least in Canada its more complex but its still a matter of following very explicit instructions. They don't make those forms to intentionally confuse you.
Scar_Killed_Mufasa ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:54:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, the first time you get a full benefits package...
Assdolf_Shitler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just do what my grandad told me to do and take it to a jew; they love doing that kind of stuff since they have to pay to get into heaven.
11181514 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:56:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username relevant as fuck
sickburnersalve ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:21:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"as"?
I don't mean to proof read, but I re-read that 3 times before I got it.
Average650 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah sorry. I always mess up stuff when typing on mobile.
ApplecakesMcGee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah if they teach you to read and add, you should be able to handle the doing your taxes part.
RainYupRain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It don't even matter I was actin' a fool.
fiftyseven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I am not a taxes person,
blueburn654 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:23:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They shouldn't. There are companies all over the US that specialize in accounting work. It's cheaper to have them know the information than to teach a bunch of 10th graders information they'll forget anyways.
mousicle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:39:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
for most people its basic arithmetic. The lessons were also about why we pay taxes, what deductions and credits were, why we have marginal rates. Real life and being an informed citizen stuff not just mechanics of filling out a form.
blueburn654 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool cool
sumduud14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think everyone not only knew what a marginal rate was, but why they existed. But then I saw a few stories on Reddit about how some people are convinced if they get a raise they might get put into a new tax bracket, get taxed more and thus take home less.
I get the feeling that those people would still think this, even if they were explicitly told this was not the case.
ScarsUnseen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should at least a little. I knew I had to pay taxes, but I thought that was all taken care of since they were taken out of my paycheck. No one ever told me I had to file my taxes every year, so I didn't until I joined the military when I was 24.
FlamingWings ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:34:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught taxes in school. but the teacher was this old cynical guy who only taught us that no matter how much we work, taxes would kill us in the end
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they teach you arithmetic and how to follow very explicit instructions? Congratulations! You know how to do most basic taxes.
temalyen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They did for me, but my mother was trying to force me to take a business major in college. My high school had electives courses you could pick and I was forced to take anything business related by my mother. Since she had to sign off on my course selection sheet, she'd change any selections I made around so I was always taking any business elective.
So I learned how to do taxes! .... and have taken my taxes somewhere to be done every single year I've had to do taxes. I've never actually done them myself.
As an aside, my mother did get her way and forced me into majoring in Business Administration during college (at the threat of withholding college funding if i didn't pick the major she wanted me to take, as she paid for everything) and I ended up dropping out after two years because I hated the major.
chriswearingred ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing it's an elective in most high schools and, knowing kids, it's probably last pick for most. I went to a state school where you had no choice in classes and junior year we had a mandatory class once a week just about doing taxes and how to build credit and stuff.
Totally-Not-A-Troll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be in the Governments interest to teach about tax forms. "Don't worry about deductions, that's WAY too much math. Just write a check for the full amount then you can go do something fun."
ACKAFOOL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't even matter I was acting a fool
DullScissors ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ตIt don't even matter, I was acting a fool๐ต
cobo10201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It don't even matter I was actin a fool
__slamallama__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It don't even matter, i was actin a fool.
Some3rdiShit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It don't even matter cause I was acting a fool
young_zach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It didn't even matter you were acting a fool
Acoconutting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They taught me taxes....
Maxitaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accidental Chance The Rapper?
Splitz300 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The US needs to institute a personal finance class that teaches Seniors the following:
Filling out Form 1040EZ/A or long Form
How to buy a house and qualify for a mortgage. And understanding finances of such.
How to purchase a car, and understanding the finances.
Credit and debt
how to manage money in general.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't even matter I was acting a fool
idosillythings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto. I'm 25 and I still get confused.
65rytg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It don't even matter who's acting the fool
hottubrhymemachine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school offered a personal finance class. We learned how to balance a checkbook, track expenses in Quicken Loans (I think), we learned about the different tax forms and how to file them. Unfortunately the knowledge has not carried over into adulthood.
jesus67 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They teach you how to read basic instructions and do basic math. That's all you need. I never got this meme. You don't need lessons on how to fill out a form.
KingDavid73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
same - you must be from the US :)
They don't teach us any useful life skills in school. They only taught us what was on standardized tests.
PM_ME_STEAM_CODES__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While the classes are optional, a lot of school districts are implementing classes to teach you like skills like that. I'm a junior in high school and I've already learned budgeting, wages, and the basics of taxes.
_SpiderDisco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm went to a public school in the US and learned how to do my taxes in school, and learned basic computer programming. I also learned wood working.
It's not bad everywhere. You get what you want from it.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hated the standardized tests and always got in arguments with administration cause I wouldn't do any lessons on how to write the tests. I figured if the kid knows the math they don't need to learn test strategies. My kids would usually score pretty well on the tests so I was happy but the principal wanted them to learn how to test so the school would look better.
ScarsUnseen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine didn't either, and I never actually filed my taxes until I joined the military and discovered online tools. I didn't even know they were a thing you had to do since my taxes were automatically taken out of my pay. So many refunds that I missed out on.
Chelline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lesson 1: Taxation is theft.
Class dismissed.
FatStacks6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think a couple of states passed laws after the collapse in 2007 that made a finance class a requirement for graduation. NJ was definetley one of them.
Connoire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a taxes?
maxiums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a class on this, balancing a check book, and how to be a professional. It was called CMS, "Career Management Success". This was 9th grade in Tennessee.
ldamron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a public school and Finance class is a mandatory class that everyone must take and pass. They learn about taxes, mortgages, car payments, budgeting, credit cards, student loans, interest rates, etc. It's an invaluable class. Hope the kids utilize it.
mostlywrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a small school in the middle of Kentucky. We were taught to do taxes our senior year in Government (a required senior class). If we had jobs, we used our own W-2's. This was in the late 90's, so the returns were all on paper.
My husband was always astounded at the classes offered at my school. He went to a much larger school in a bigger city (my graduating class had around 300 in it, his was over 1000) and didn't have close to the same offerings. We had a lot of classes that gave college credit, had a bank and a Kroger (grocery store) in the school that were ran by the students in the business classes, a greenhouse where you could buy produce grown by students, and had psychology and sociology classes. We also had tractor races in our driveway...
mvdweerdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They ain't teaching taxes in school
It don't even matter I was acting a fool
But who would think that raps would turn into racks don't matter matter fact it could happen to you!
MrSwedishMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it complicated to do your taxes in America? In Sweden we basically just get a paper home that says how much tax return we get or have to pay, and either accept or don't
Suppafly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They taught you basic math and reading, that's all you need for taxes. My 11 year old could do my taxes.
SillyFlyGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!
fish-fingered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not. It was the IRS entry exam
Demopublican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated HS in 2003. We learned how to do it then. I guess the curriculum probably changed, which is a fucking shame.
Elliott2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it'd be a pretty dumb class.. im glad they didn't.
business taxes? that'd be a bit different. everyday 1040ez or wtvr could be taught in an afternoon... if thats really even needed.
madamz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The older I get, the more thankful I am that I went to the high school that I did. We had a class called "Careers" that was basically all about doing your taxes, making a budget, and generally not fucking your life up as an adult. It was required for graduation.
fuckitimatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i took a class that was called Models of Math. we learned taxes, payroll, checkbook balancing, budgets, amortization tables, etc. great class.
seeingeyegod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me neither, and I went to almost exclusively private schools
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No but we learned a lot about polygons which really comes in handy every parallelogram season.
polithrow12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It don't even matter I was actin a fool
Enragedocelot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They ain't teaching taxes in school.
DrunkenGolfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were preparing you for algebra season.
Kll8902 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a class in high school that taught things like taxes and balancing a check book, but it was only offered to students who couldn't pass the state mandated math classes. I guess they assumed if you could figure out algebra and calculus, you could manage your basic tax return too.
thezerbler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my school they had a class that seemed to try to cram everything "adulthood" into one. There was a very short unit about taxes but most of it was the computer illiterate teacher trying to teach us to use computers.
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Personal economics was a requirement in my state (Illinois) if you wanted to graduate high school. They taught us how to fill out the EZ form, make a budget, write a check, how insurance worked vis a vis premiums and deductibles, etc.
CrimsonMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th or 11th grade in MA (USA)
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've got programs that do it now to be fair.
brain89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They seriously need to. I completely misunderstood the idea of a standard deduction until way later than I should have.
On the other side of it after much explanation my wife still doesn't completely grasp why I asked her to deduct a little more from each paycheck. "Well they just automatically know how much needs to come out."
ITS_JUST_LOW_T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They did, they just called it "reading comprehension"
battraman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were taught how to do this in Personal Finance class. The older I get the more I realize my experiences are fairly unique.
nipnip54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 21 and I barely know what a tax is
nate800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school had a special rotating class during your last two years. You'd spend 6 weeks learning sewing, repairing clothes, etc., 6 weeks on baking/cooking, 6 weeks learning taxes and loans, 6 weeks on basic money management (balancing a checkbook was a biggie), 6 weeks on local history, and so on. The school also provided behind-the-wheel driving classes, two students per teacher, for $25. I never realized how good I had it until I graduated.
scubareddit12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It didn't even matter, I was acting a fool.
Silntdoogood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a stab at you, but I see this posted so often, and it's usually one of my class mates who reposts some variation of this meme with the hopeless looking girl and it DRIVES ME UP A WALL because I sat through four years of the same classes as everyone else, but somehow I was the only one in my graduating class that got the lecture on interest, car maintenance, and taxes.
loverofaltmedicine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They taught us in our Career Development class for students who were a part of the "Work Release" program. Pretty neat class, although I don't remember how to my own taxes...
CheckoTP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids couldn't understand them so they just gave up.
Hip-hop-o-potomus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because it's not necessary.
They teach you to read, they teach you to do basic math, and to follow instructions.
That's literally all that is needed for people to file basic taxes. Yes it gets more complex but people straight out of high school probably have only simple forms required.
Yet you always see people say "They didn't teach me taxes in school!"
PromptCritical725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Normally, I would say there's no point since the instructions are right on the forms, buuuut.... I can see now how wrong I was.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean in most civilised countries taxes are done for you.
FF3LockeZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's all explicit instructions on the tax forms. There's nothing to teach, other than the ability to read.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they taught me taxes but to be honest i don't remember, i was just too busy trying to pass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least we know the quadratic formula and how to find the standard deviation!
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stats are actually important to be a well educated member of society. I did stats on lets not do math days as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They prob did but you didnt pay attention. Like most of us.
Zabiool ยท 1404 points ยท Posted at 13:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does it feel being the tech support equivalent of academia?
mousicle ยท 1064 points ยท Posted at 13:53:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've done tech support as well. I think it was easier to teach grannies how to switch to HDMI 1 input. At least Granny is trying to listen.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:25:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever had someone that doesn't listen ? Try heading over to /tfts
mousicle ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 14:27:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh sure but there is nothing you can do about that but let them rant. I don't feel bad for the guy who's cable is out cause he wont restart the box I do feel bad for the kid that may not be able to hold a ditch digger job.
Jordaneer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SIR I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON AND YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:59 on April 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I HAVE A DEGREE IN COMPUTERING! ~Google Bing Lady (I know im very late)
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:03:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TRIGGERED
EpicScizor ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:28:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Granny is too busy telling you of her kids and how good they are at technology and why can't you just fix it like they do?
mousicle ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you send the tech. Officially the tech could charge granny if its something dumb like the input is wrong and our service is coming out of the box fine but they never do unless the granny is a raging douche nozzle.
Hobocannibal ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:49:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Earlier today one brought back in their
laptopnetbook that they picked up just over a month ago.She described all these ordinary things that it kept doing that it never used to do before.
You know... things like updating windows... and updating skype... and displaying messages from AVG in the corner (we would never install AVG, it was downloaded 9pm on the day it was picked up). Oh and the start page for opera, she says she used to type X into google and go there and she can't do that now... THERE IS A GOOGLE SEARCH BOX ON THE PAGE THAT COMES UP(speed dial).
We remembered what happened, one of her younguns unexpectedly came in to pick it up and since all it had left to do was windows updates it was allowed to go with the understanding she would update it to current herself.
From what i can tell now its back with us. Someone forcibly turned it off 100% of the time whenever it tried to install the updates.
Anyway, she wanted all these things gone (including AVG) and i told her that we call this "malicious compliance" and that i would do so.
Still, gotta make her happy so its now AV-less, any distracting icons (libreoffice and vlc media player) have been removed. The speed dial of opera is blank other than the google search bar (i set speed dials background to a 1x1 white pixel so the swirly background wouldn't confuse her) and i gave windows the time to update.
Hopefully she'll be ok with that.
Grown_Ass_Kid ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:14:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP.
Serjayjay ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:44:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was expecting this answer. Not disappointed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt know what that is!
ScarsUnseen ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:13:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did call center tech support before. I managed to talk a guy with Down Syndrome through a No POST/No Video issue before because he was willing to(insisted on, actually) let me walk him through the troubleshooting process. It took 4 1/2 hours, and we had to reseat every component on his motherboard, but it was working in the end.
I kind of don't have much sympathy for people who say they can't deal with computer hardware as a result.
lowbrassballs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:14:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or so hyped up on hormones they believe they're the functional center of your teaching purpose and world. Grannies are at least patient, sweet and usually offer cookies. Also, while grannies have an odor of mothballs and maybe perfume, I'll take it over BO that could bring down a moose.
atcoyou ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:36:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You bring up an interesting point. There is a sweet spot of non-listening, where people think they know more than they do, so don't listen. This happens a lot with people new to the workforce too, and something I have tried to think about when learning something new. You need to take your ego out of it so you can learn.
TONKAHANAH ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:02:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you didnt do tech support for very long.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nope just one summer
SF1034 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:09:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech support for the elderly is usually fun as hell. They're trying to maintain independence so they have a higher probability of actually listening to you.
derefr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:35:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Granny might be trying to listen, but she's not (usually) learning. In my experience, people of a certain age start to explicitly choose to not learn more general lessons from specific experiences, because they see that they got help (i.e. attention) once, and so now they see the opportunity to make doing that class of things a constant source of more help (i.e. attention).
You can tell when this is happening, because there are certain things they really do care about, and will learn the heck out of without much help. For my grandmother, when I set her up with an iPad, she couldn't understand anything about web browsing or the music app, etc... but the Facebook and Scrabble apps, she never asked one single question about, even though I imagine she must have struggled just as much with them. In those cases, she actually wanted to achieve mastery of them, in order to use them all the time (she's a very social person and social networking + social games are her "thing.") For everything else, she couldn't give half a damn. Thus, phone calls.
robotguy4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:13:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not just listening, but if she's anything like the seniors I've helped she's writing notes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:31 on April 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to my granny who I couldn't even get to be quiet long enough to show her how to change the channel on her TV with a new remote. It was literally the same remote, but, "no, it's not. It's a new remote and I'll never learn it." "Mawmaw, this is the old one, this is the new one. The only difference is the old one is grey and the new one is black." "I want the old one, I can work that one." "Mawmaw, they're the same buttons." Now she just hits the buttons on the TV with her cane, the poor remote lying useless.
cunningham_law ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"SIR, I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A TAXES PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO GO HOME"
mousicle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:39:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
happy cake day!
caligula213 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:28:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work IT in academia. It can be soul crushing at times. I work in management but the amount of times a faculty member will require they work directly with me for their tech support issues because they are far too important to go to one of my staff.
Most of the time, when they come to me, i just ask them, what do the instructions say? and it answers their retarded questions.
Just yesterday:
Entitled Faculty: There is something wrong with BlaBla's email account, I tried to email them and got a bounce back. Please make sure the account is set up correctly. I don't have time for this nonsense.
Me: What does the bounce-back email say?
EF: I don't know, a bunch of giberish I don't understand. Please fix Blabla's email account immediatly.
Me: Forward me the bounce-back email please.
I get the bounce-back email which clearly states the email address does not exist, and please check the email address for typos. Sure enough there was a typo in the email address.
Me: You spelled Blabla wrong.
EF: .....
stripes361 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:18:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, everyone knows that "Blahblah" is spelled with H's. Dumbass.
axelryder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or, in case of Bob: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwWAsNZTnug
cegbe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:33:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do I download this?" "The big green button that says download."
mousicle ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:59:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or is it the small yellow button that says download or this button over hear that says download, or this little picture of a magnet? I just want my porn dammit stop having so many download buttons
247Brett ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:42:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to inform you this way, but if you download porn, your computer probably has an std or two.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as long as it'll clear up with a round of penicillin it'll be ok
PostNuclearTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's even worse is incredibly vague questions. Or when you give advice but the person doesn't listen to you.
"Hey my friend in Florida installed ram into his laptop and now it won't boot. What's wrong with it?" (I literally wanted to smack him when he asked me this)
Or my friend was getting a windows error message in this software relating to HDD1. I tell him it has to do something with a hard drive he removed and what does he do? He updates his graphics drivers...
Nebarik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was about to say that sounded familiar.
"It's asking for my name, what do i write there?"
colonel_raleigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean the academic equivalent of tech support.
Zabiool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda yup [= I feel the way I said it conveys what I meant best. Thank you for caring enough to correct me.
colonel_raleigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for taking my comment in the way it was intended (friendly). Cheers!
kj01a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sucks.
murmalerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you turned your computer on and off? Is your computer plugged in?
The downvoters must never have watched "The IT Crowd."
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 14:50:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mousicle ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 14:50:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a better answer and better reasoning then I've seen on a lot of tests.
Vindexus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:09:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did they carry the one but still get it right?
cascade_olympus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looked in the back of the book for the answer but still had to "show their work"
JoeyJoJoJrShabado ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Box 47.
HeyCasButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! The real answer is 2Box 47 since you're adding box 23 to box 24
richalex2010 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:54:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, so many people like that at work. I hand them a signature pad, and say "read this statement, tap next, and sign on the next page". They don't bother reading and try to sign on the first page.
People just don't read. I don't get it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this problem trying to teach people how to play Killer Bunnies. 90% of the time someone asks me how a card works, I just read it to them and then they magically understand.
football_coach ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:04:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a computer literacy class that was supposed to be 8th grade-12th grade. They fucked up and let some 7th graders in there.
They must teach reading comprehension in 7th grade because each of the 7th graders just stares at the book. It literally is like this:
Click on the font drop down box (Home tab|Font group) and select Bernard MT Condensed
Click on the font size drop down box (Home tab|Font group) and select 36
Type Full-service, friendly care for your pets
Select the previous sentence and click the Bold button (Home tab|group font)
They CANT do it
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's an interesting computer literacy curve. I'd imagine it peaks with people born somewhere in the early to mid 80's, then begins to taper off the younger you are.
Devices are just much, much more easy and software will hold your hand every step of the way. There just isn't the same need for critical thinking when it comes to consumer technology.
football_coach ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:28:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is something I noticed that is something I noticed. You wouldn't expect it but it's true 100%
SadGhoster87 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:08:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So you skipped the entire first part of the test."
"I didn't think it was the test!"
"It's... it's numbers 1 through 6. Your next question is 7. How did you miss it?"
"I thought it was instructions and didn't read it!"
almightySapling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...
Can I fail you extra hard? What am I saying, I'm the teacher. Of course I can!
Blaze_fox ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:28:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its like...
okay, answer the questions. Write the answer on the line provided.
Q1. What is 1+2? _______
"I dont know what to do!"
Pimp-My-Giraffe ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 15:22:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT AN ADDITION PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
OrlandoNE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:20:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love that story.
krat0s77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this meme gets me everytime
The_Wood_Butcher ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:24:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blue Fish
ThePu55yDestr0yr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12
IamGimli_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:58:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Booya!
Blaze_fox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
X
it is actually 12.
Moruitelda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
first person to give an actual answer
lowbrassballs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:16:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't understand! I'm not a math person. You are not helping me!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop moving my Bing!
Blaze_fox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:22:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are you going to hang up?
Computermaster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:01:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As former tech support, I long ago lost faith in people's abilities to read and follow simple directions.
earthgarden ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 14:05:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and these are the same people who complain 'nobody taught me how to do taxes'.
Um just READ and ADD
Astrokiwi ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:55:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that there are a bunch of terms that are pretty ambiguous. Does X count as a business expense? Am I working "in education" if I'm a caterer at a school? When they say I have to have worked in the position "for six months", does that means exactly 6 calendars months, or some specific number like 182 or 183 days?
You can ask these things on the internet, but you often get a number of contradictory opinions. That is where things get tricky - the maths is pretty simple.
tcatron565 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:57:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this is exactly what people are talking about when they mention that taxes are hard. It's not the math and it's not the wording, it's the categorizing. How many dependents do you claim? Well, I don't live with my parents anymore, but I still go to college, and I live with my SO, but we aren't married, and she doesn't work. But she does earn money from her family by doing housework for them. So she helps pay the bills.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Things are less complicated in Canada we don't have as many deductions. For regular folk just working a job its pretty simple
Astrokiwi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do remember there being a couple of ambiguous things on the Quรฉbec tax form. It doesn't help either that in Canada you have to do two separate tax returns.
IJustKickedStan ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who complain about schools not teaching taxes confuse me. Like, most people have access to the bulk of human information in their pocket, just fucking google it.
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:37:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The tax forms have pretty explicit instructions.
jusjerm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:52:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just the most accessible "real world knowledge" that teens can think of to replace the various classes they've written off as unnecessary.
I had to teach taxes in school, and no one cared one fucking bit about that unit
Hekesuh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:22:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the issue some people have, is that they were taught things that wouldn't apply in life as much as a personal finance class would, or teaching about their taxes. Advanced trig isn't going to help much when you're a minimum wage cashier.
free_trial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When it came to choosing a math class for 11th grade, Personal Finance was no longer counted for a math credit so I took Pre Calc. I don't know if that class available anyways because of that.
KiltedLady ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:57:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it's ALWAYS the number one answer in threads about what schools should be teaching students. Taxes are pretty easy - with online programs that exist now they're very easy. They also tend to start pretty simple and get more complicated as you get older, so most people get eased into the complicated stuff pretty gradually.
slvrbullet87 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The 1040ez is written at about a 8th grade reading level, if you can't figure it out, it wasn't taxes that you should have learned it is the ability to read and follow directions.
GlyphGryph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work a complex technical job, and am very successful. I'm still constantly fucking baffled by my tax forms, and only medical forms even come close to being as difficult.
Give me complex differential equations, complex topologies, and extensive user oriented responsive layout design any day of the week over tax forms, way fucking simpler.
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tax forms are easy, you just need to follow the instructions. There's a whole glossary and expanded instructions if you don't think the simple version is clear enough.
almightySapling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you only have a single W-2 and nothing fancy, sure. I could manage it myself no problem.
However many people have slight complications and it can be a pain in the ass to figure out what counts as what. As a grad student (in mathematics, so it's not the instructions or addition I struggle with), tax season is a nightmare for me because funding comes from 2-4 different sources, some of which are taxed, some not taxed, some partially taxed, some deductible, none clear about which is which, it's an absolute clusterfuck trying to piece it all together.
H&R Block helps a little, but can only do so much, and I can't afford to actually sit down with someone that can figure it out. Frequently I just give up, pick some reasonable sounding number, and figure if I'm far enough off, the IRS will let me know.
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have pointed out that while easy, it can be very time consuming. Every complication can lead to reading a couple pages of legalese.
Not the best solution to that issue. I don't know what the best solution is, but it's not that.
almightySapling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's not the worst solution either. I'm fairly certain I'm not overpaying, and if the government really wants to stop me from underpaying, they shouldn't leave it up to me to figure out what I owe. They should determine that and tell me. That's their bad.
movzx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They actually know what you would owe (or they owe) based on what your employer files. They can automatically do a tax return based on standard deductions, and if you need something special then you would file at that point.
Sadly, this gets lobbied against by Intuit and such. :(
GlyphGryph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll see. I'm pretty committed to actually managing to finish it this year instead of giving up and having to pay some H&R block person two hundred bucks to do it for me.
jesus67 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:59:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a lot like the elderly people who are perfectly happy following your directions in person, but when the exact same thing is clearly printed on a computer screen they just shut down. It's the intimidation of it I guess.
kung-fu_hippy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One really nice thing about taxes is that they pretty much don't get complicated until you get to the point of having enough money to pay someone else to do them for you. But somehow every year people with a single W2, with no major expenses, go to H&R Block or something to have someone do the simplest taxes in the world.
The problem seems mostly to be with fear and a lack of basic understanding of taxes. We've probably all ran into people who genuinely think that getting a raise into a higher tax bracket will somehow end up having them lose money.
shifty_coder ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:46:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Basic income tax forms only require basic arithmetic and reading comprehension. If you can't fill out a paper 1040EZ, they should have spent more time in your school on those two subjects.
yanroy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have even moderately complex taxes, it's essentially impossible for a layman. But if you work one job, own a max of one house, and don't have any investments, sure it's easy.
TupperwareMagic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE FOLLOWING REQUIRED PREREQUISITES FOR THIS TOPIC HAVE NOT BEEN COMPLETED:
READING
MATH
RachelAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first year I had to file taxes I was an independent contractor with two hourly part-time jobs.
That. Was. Hell. Complicated doesn't BEGIN to describe it, at least to a 17-year-old brain.
But hey: now the standard forms are a breeze. Silver lining!
Hakim_Bey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we should ditch this bullshit pythagorean theorem and most of history and geography in favor of "Filling simple forms & Basic arithmetics 101"
cowbear42 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:04:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why all the tax prep businesses exist.
GlyphGryph ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:24:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that and the fact the federal legislation is frequently passed to prop them up, lol.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you own a business or have any unusual circumstances it can make your taxes way more complicated.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always do my own taxes. My dad taught me a long time ago. But one year I was a new York resident half the year while being stationed in Texas as active duty military and i had a W2 from two different jobs and two different states and had my residency changed during that year. It was a fucking nightmare and i almost paid H&R block. But thankfully the online software had a very active community and lots of folks answers my questions fast and i got through it. Taxes are very easy when you have one income and no other variables, but man they get complex fast.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Canadian too our taxes are way simpler then US taxes
2211abir ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:59:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could explain that. Maybe the student didn't understand what the boxes were, or that adding box X and Y means adding up their values.
mousicle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:01:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No pretty much every time it was just a kid that didn't read the instructions or thought it was more complicated then what the instructions said.
Quixalicious ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:03:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, to be fair, to a programmer those instructions are vague as written.
Does "add box 23 and 24" mean to sum the values of whatever is found in box 23 and the literal value 24, or to sum the value of box 23 and the value of box 24?
dandelion_king ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:04:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly, Box 23 + Box 24 = Box 47
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least that contains some logic.
venuswasaflytrap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:09:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of get it. I find paperwork and forms like that really tedious.
There is something so abstract and removed about tax forms especially that just doesn't click in my mind - and I'm in my thirties.
I think it's because there is no why. Add these boxes together. Get his number. Take form 32.b and take the number from box 72 and copy it here.
When I look and understand what value they're trying to figure out and why, it becomes much easier for me. "Oh they want my total earnings from multiple business, just in case I'm a contractor". But obviously the forms can't tell people that, because they'll get 'creative' so it's just abstract instructions.
For me things like that take a lot of effort and focus, because of the complete lack of context.
Paulius2444 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I work in IT and this is adaily occurance.
"Ok, there's a box on my screen, what do I do now?"
"What does it say?"
"It says 'click here to continue'.
delmar42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish more schools taught practical life skills like this. I'm fortunate that I was taught to balance a checkbook (back when people still wrote checks regularly).
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's why I went beyond the curriculum and added lessons on life stuff and lessons about how awesome math was. I got mixed reactions from other teachers some thought it was awesome some thought we should just stick to curriculum cause there wasn't time for that sort of thing.
Also happy cake day
k4j98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In his defense, the instructions should say, "add the contents of boxes 23 and 24." I don't know how to add shapes either.
dismymobileaccnt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is how my older neighbor is when the print dialogue comes up on the screen.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching how to do your taxes should be compulsory learning. I can think of no better real world application of mathematics learning than this.
DrHoss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay so I'm one of those people that was confused by this the first time I saw tax forms. A lot of people are saying this was because people simply didn't read the instructions, which is probably true in some cases. But I did read the instructions. I was confused because it seemed so stupid to just add two of the boxes that I thought "no way that's what they want, I must be missing something". You would think the people who analyze and enter these forms would want the most concise way to gather information. A box that is simply the sum of two other boxes doesn't add any more information about your taxes so it seems very inefficient. It just adds one more box to consider and one more source of error
jrsooner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the classic Are-You-Paying-Attention paper.
"Read all instructions before taking this test. Print your name and date at the top of the page. Disregard all questions and return this paper to your teacher. Every question you answer shall be marked as incorrect regardless if it is or not."
thr33m0jo3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deal with this everyday in IT
Cx:trying to install program it says downloading, should I cancel?
Cx:trying to create new password it rejected my password, it says the password has to have at least one capital letters and a number. What do I do?
Just so many things like this.
AfterTowns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of "So add box 23 and 24?" I would say something like "So, what do you think you're supposed to do?"
They're just refusing to use their brain at that point and want you to hold their hand through the entire thing. But I'm a sarcastic bastard with students sometimes, so take that with a grain of salt.
JFreedom14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow... Where do they teach you to do taxes? In my highschool we learned only the important life lessons of calculus, Shakespeare, and home economics (cooking and sewing).
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in Canada but it wasn't part of the curriculum it was an extra enrichment lesson I'd do on lets not do Regular Math Fridays. For kids in the essentials tier I'd do a whole unit on taxes and personal finance.
JFreedom14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man! I'm in Nova Scotia, I did French immersion and band, but there were no courses for "real life" useful information.
SavvySillybug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday, I walked someone through the process of opening ports for their Garry's Mod server. They got quite far into it, but were stuck at a part, and I viewed their screen through Skype to help.
They had the first port at 27015 and their last port at 27005. The error of their router said something like "the starting port must be less than the ending port". And they called me over that. I was like... you got an error message. Read it out loud to me. And they suddenly asked, hey, should I switch these ports? Yes? Please do?
Why do I get calls like these. I know I'm Tech Savvy, but come on. Computers these days are built to help you. It's not error code 1337. It tells you quite clearly what the problem is, don't call your friends to read and interpret the error code for you, just do what it says. Making one number less than the other number is not that hard.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: How do you add boxes, like just draw a bigger box?
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Remember back to the algebra lesson where I said it doesn't really matter that it's an X and anything could be the variable"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: So not a bigger box, just thicker lines!
gdarb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So 47, right?
Macehammer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean they did get it. They were just really anxious to get it right.
eckingbottom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you teach Donald Trump?
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I should have.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair I'm having this problem with my 30 year old cousin at the moment. People just hate reading forms.
truthinlies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me it's the subtraction lines that are confusing. Subtract box 23 from 24.
I usually just look at which number is higher, and then subtract the other number.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah that goes back to grade 9 intergers, and they said you'd never use number lines in real life!
gronke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I roll my eyes when people go on about how they should have been taught to do their income taxes in high school.
Dude, that is the easiest shit to do, especially with sites like TurboTax.
"In Box A, write the amount in Box A. In Box B, write the amount in Box B."
And so on. And so forth. If you're an 18 year old, you are extremely likely doing a 1040-EZ.
jrau18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you the student who didn't believe commas existed?
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe in them I'm just a terrible writer.
jrau18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean this.
mousicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I got the reference
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
47 right?
ArtificialSugar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU I'M NOT A TAXES PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
10leaguessouthofhell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how hearing me read EXACTLY what is written on the page is any different from them... reading it.
I understand that there are auditory learners, but for fuck's sake. Read it out loud.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and people are complaining that Trumps appointees will "ruin our education system".... Not pointing the finger at teachers but we have some absolute morons in America. How can you worry about an education system when lazy parents put zero effort in to their kids learning?
xippalatwork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same applies in IT,
User: I don't know what to do.
Me: What does the screen say?
User: "Press OK to continue"
Me: ........
happynorthkorean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So....box 47?
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure the CRA will be perfectly happy with that answer.
Cherokeejon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe your school taught students how to do their taxes. I learned how to do my taxes through turbo tax.
popeyoni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
47!!! Am I right?
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Box 47, you can't just drop the variable
popeyoni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crap! Darn taxes are not easy!
liestrumptoldus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
47?
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
box 47 you can't just drop the variable
Qui-Gon-Whiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were always told to read all of the instructions before answering any questions on a test. There was always that one teacher who put in their instructions to leave the test blank to emphasize that we were supposed to read all of the instructions first.
flippityfloppity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UGH I have a coworker like this that drives me fucking insane. He's a grown man, yet when I send him simple email instructions on how to do anything he will call me immediately, and I will basically just read the email to him.
I understand people learn differently, and some do better with being taught verbally rather than reading, but when it's something insanely simple like click on this link to get to a website, it gets a little old.
I started color-coding certain words and phrases and using different-sized fonts to get him to actually read it and understand it better. I felt it was a little condescending, but it actually helped!!
I still hate him though.
Keskekun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soooo I'll take the number from.box 47 right.....?
kongo10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
47! Boom! did I get it right?
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Box 47, you can't just drop the variable
Nyx87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it has to do with people perceiving tax forms are super challenging. I helped my bf who is from the Philippines with his new hire tax forms and he asked questions like that as well, and he is a pretty smart guy.
grizzfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 26 and never learned how to do taxes. Parents babied me way too much about that stuff. I honestly could see myself asking the same question. It's more of an intimidation than it is a simple lapse of thinking.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's part of the reason I had kids do it. I wanted to show them that while the form looks intimidating its just basic arithmetic and following directions.
bikesforlife37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a waiter I deal with stuff like this all the time and never know how to respond.
Guest: what's in the jalapeรฑo bacon Mac and cheese?
Me: it's jalapeรฑos and bacon in Mac and cheese..
Guest: oh okay well does the wild boar chili actually have boar in it or is that just a name?
Me: ya it's wild boar chili
Guest: okay well what does this dish taste like?
Me: it's a little bit spicy and a little bit sweet
Guest: is it really spicy?
Me: it's a little bit spicy and a little bit sweet DID I FUCKING STUTTER
ctudor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if they don't understand what box 23 and box 24 represent they will never master doing their taxes
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The lessons weren't just how to mechanically do the taxes but that's when these sorts of questions would come up.
CrustyCrone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "TaxSupport, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm not sure what to do next!"
Me: "Okay what form are you filling out?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a tax person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which section you're on?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, what number is on the top left?"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A TAXPERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
Whiteoutlist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what is the answer? 2box 47
TheLegendaryHero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Box 47, got it.
2daMooon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And yet the Reddit hive mind always seems to be in favour of teaching taxes in school. I think a class teaching how to Google and solve a problem yourself would be a much more effective class.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they write 47?
tynorex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, taxes aren't hard to do, just long and tedious. They are overly complicated but only because there's so many rules and exceptions because people cheat them all the time-however they're pretty explicit in what you need to do.
Why is a good accountant good at saving you money? Because they know where to look and what rules can and can't be bent to squeeze out a little more money. But if you have basic income like most people fresh out of high school/college, an hour out of your day is all you need to file your taxes. I'd recommend Turbo Tax.
Source: accountant.
REF_YOU_SUCK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the US, compaines like H&R Block and TurboTax lobby the government to prevent teaching how to do taxes in school, and to keep the tax code as convoluted as possibe so that people stay dumb and have to come to them to have their taxes done.
Dragonsblood_Venus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This blows my mind. I was never taught how to do taxes in school, but when I first began to fill out tax forms at age 18, I was able to figure it out on my own because THE FORMS WALK YOU THROUGH THE PROCESS LINE BY LINE. It was a simple income tax form, not brain surgery. If you can read and follow directions, you can do basic income taxes.
ablack82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
24
Scrotchticles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not fair, they're just looking for confirmation as they're not confident in what they're doing.
Damon_Bolden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me, the form looked somewhat confusing, and there was a lot of terminology I wasn't familiar with, so when something easy came up (like adding two numbers together) I was skeptical
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the answer was box 47, right?
l_Kage_l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They teach how to do taxes? Where?
Am Romanian.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Canadian. It wasn't part of the official curriculum, just something I did on my own cause I thought it would be good for the kids to know and an interesting break
Dason37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do approvals for prescriptions for an insurance company, and the doctors can do most of them online. There is a question on one form, where if the answer is YES, then lab documentation is required to be sent in with the request. I haven't looked at the forms online to see if they're copy and pasting, or if it's a drop down, or what, but 90% of those particular forms have that question answered as "YES. (Please upload supporting lab documentation)" in that blank. And 0% of them actually include the labwork. It also mentions sending in labwork in 2 different parts of the form. The clearer you make the instructions, the less likely people are to follow them.
Yserbius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, there are tests for kids with learning disabilities that require things like that. A girl in my wife's class was way behind where she should have been. The initial assessment test was something like "Draw circle on a paper, draw an arrow pointing to the circle, fold the paper in half." I'm not even sure she got the circle part right.
createsure ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your student called you "sir"?
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yup that's pretty normal where I'm from.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in technical support, and this is half my day.
"What do I click now?"
"What does is say on the screen?"
"It says 'Click here to change password'. Should I click it?"
"You called me because you wanted to know how to change your password."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Add box 23 and 24...
... ummmm, box 47?
Gafftape6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe you.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I was only a teacher for a couple years. I think they drummed me out for doing that
SandwormSlim ยท 7493 points ยท Posted at 14:09:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher, but when I was in high school in health class while going over reproduction there was a fellow student who raised her hand and asked if you were sterile, could you pass it on to your children. The whole class giggled and she, confused, said she was serious, she wanted to know if you're sterile could you pass it on to your kids. The teacher, with a smile, said to her "OK, let's think about this. What does it mean to be sterile?"
She began answering "It means that you can't have k...OHHHHH!" - followed by another round of laughter from the rest of the class.
MarvelousMustache ยท 3057 points ยท Posted at 14:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To her credit, they're finding that people concieved using IVF are having difficulty having children of their own as adults. So not completely a dumb question, depending if you mean completely sterile or unable to reproduce unassisted.
Astilaroth ยท 702 points ยท Posted at 15:11:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To add to that, this only goes for IVF/ICSI in case of male fertility problems.
There is some evidence that endometriosis is hereditary as well, but women with endo aren't per definition sterile and can often conceive naturally or through IUI.
Just to clarify that IVF in itself isn't a risk factor and that it depends on the reason for fertility treatment if any possible fertility issues are passed on.
cotu101 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:07:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
great. im a male that was conceived through IVF. I wanna start having kids in a few years. Could the IVF have an effect on that?
Azertys ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 17:31:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you had to be conceived because your dad had a too low sperm count, the medical reasons behind it may be hereditary yes.
cotu101 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:27:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks
krabbby ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 20:37:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you could do IVF too and just kick the can down the road a little more so it's all good.
PinkDalek ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:24:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably want to ask your doctor that if you're having problems conceiving.
Astilaroth ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 17:35:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did they do IVF? It could be because your mom had trouble with ovulating or several other maternal reasons ... it could only influence you if your dad has hereditary sperm issues.
It is super easy to have your sperm tested. You get a private room, often porn is provided, you jizz in a cup and they can tell you exactly how much swimmers you produce, what their quality is etc.
For optimal conditions:
cotu101 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha ok thanks. i feel like kind of an idiot now.There is a correlation between IVF and infertility, but the causal link lies in the fact that the parent most likely had problems with fertility as well and passed it on through their genes. this is what your saying right? so it is not actually the IVF that causes infertility, merely a correlation
Astilaroth ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:33:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup!
cotu101 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:48:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for the explanation and suggestions!
zebediah49 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:05 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easy way to find out:
You only really need a decent microscope, a few materials you can grab from any decent scientific supply house, and a few hours of time.
Now, these are fairly negotiable -- if you have lots of sperm, it's OK if a greater fraction of them are defective (don't worry, your partner will filter them out). If you have fewer, but they're mostly good quality, you're similarly OK. It's if you really have way too few good sperm that you would need to start thinking about clinical assistance.
(Seriously though, you can go to a clinic and they should be able to run this stuff pretty easily and cheaply).
PS: Avoid centrifuges. They don't do friendly things to sperm.
cotu101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:19 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha thanks for letting me know how i can do it myself!! (don't worry, im gonna go to a clinic)
waitwuh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:27:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a women with endo and a frequent commenter within the /r/endo community - endo's association with infertility often comes with many misconceptions! But I love to offer explanations for those interested.
Of women who experience fertility issues, Endometriosis is a very common cause. Additionally, endometriosis is rather difficult to diagnosis (it requires a surgery) and not so long ago it was often only explored as a possibility when women were experiencing issues conceiving - women with other symptoms were very often not operated on. These two trends built the public's perception to associate endometriosis strongly with infertility. However, of women with endo at large, most do not have any issues conceiving!
Endometriosis is estimated to affect 1 out of 10 women - that makes it a pretty common disorder. The symptoms experienced can vary in both presentation and severity, with some women being practically asymptomatic. Doctors designed a "staging" system based on the results of the surgery to determine it's level of progression. Staging does not directly correlate to symptoms, however, it is a pretty good predictor for chances of issues conceiving. Women with Stage I endo or minimal endometriosis are considered the least risk to experience issues with fertility. However, Stage IV Endo sees a much higher risk. Even still, there are plenty of women with Stage IV endo who don't have trouble conceiving. Of those that do, treating endometriosis (by getting the lesions removed surgically) is known to improve fertility. And finally, progesterone (birth control!) is known to suppress endometriosis' growth and spread, which is why it's a common part of the treatment plan for women with endo. So women who take birth control for many years before conception are at lower risk of endo developing in the first place or progressing further and thus are at a lower risk of it's potential impact on their fertility - all thanks to the drugs protective qualities.
Astilaroth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey you! We talked before, always love your comments.
(Got severe endo myself, had a kid through iui)
MarvelousMustache ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, thank you. Not fully awake when posting leads to poor explanation. Cheers!
rahyveshachr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:39:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget translocations and inversions! If they do IVF with PGD to find embryos that are balanced then their kids will have the same issues.
Astilaroth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah that's where my knowledge stops, sorry!
Ironically_Iconic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:21:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So IVF conceived children may need IVF to have children? Seems like a self-serving industry, ensuring their own future. Also, better start saving for IVF
Jesmasterzero ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:28:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ergh yeah, found that out the hard way. Or the fun way. Depends on your outlook.
Cyrusthegreat18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....well shit.
Kang_andor_Kodos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying it's an unintentionally brilliant question.
Baked_Bt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By sterile they probably meant sterile
dfekety ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:24:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't this technically apply to everyone? What am I missing here?
mechacrab ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:29:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between doing it with your partner and letting your doctor do it with fancy test tubes and shit.
IanCal ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:13:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'll be damned.
This is going to significantly reduce my medical bills.
kingeryck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:28:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get that test tube outta my pussy, doc. You can just use your dick!
KeybladeSpirit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't find any porn of this scenario.
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:28:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can have kids in any way whatsoever, you're infertile, not sterile.
khaeen ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:18:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Sterile refers to not being able to conceive after an extended period of time. Infertility is when you can't conceive and carry the baby full term. http://www.oregonreproductivemedicine.com/resources/informational-articles/what-is-the-difference-between-sterility-and-infertility/
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are mitochondrial genetic issues which result in no chance of a viable embryo whatsoever. This can now be corrected by taking mitochondrial DNA from a third party, but "in the wild" would be equivalent to complete sterility. There are other disorders (or homosexuality) where the person just doesn't produce sperm or eggs, this will likely be solvable in humans very soon from induced germ cell differentiation (regardless of sex too, so you could have 2 gay guys make biological offspring)
tonyray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's fucked up
zebediah49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:59 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not super surprising though. If your parents had fertility issues requiring IVF, it seems pretty reasonable that you could inherit those same issues.
lavahot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't have kids, maybe just adopt some ultra verile kids.
ObiJuanKenobi123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on SandwormSlim, that girl is the one who led that research.
striving_forthestars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a study that points to this? It's something I'd be interested in reading about, and I tried to google it, but apparently my google skills are complete shit.
Peliquin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That they need to do research on this confounds me. I remember asking my Mom about this when I was eight. "Well, if they can't have kids, aren't they going to just create kids who have the same problem?"
BomberMeansOK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK YOU, EVOLUTION!
L_H_O_O_Q_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are all unable to reproduce unassisted.
CH0AM_N0MSKY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, not to her credit, because she definitely didn't think about this when she asked. She said something that didn't make sense out loud like we've all done, she wasn't asking some kind of deep scientific question about IVF.
Nephroidofdoom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:49:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get your point but sterile is a pretty absolute definition. Would be different if they said infertile.
WebbieVanderquack ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:51:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was that kid! I literally asked that question. And I did get laughed at. I tried to explain that there are people in my extended family who had had difficulty conceiving, and I was wondering if that (or the inability to conveive at all) was something that had a genetic basis.
Beetin ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:37:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because it sounds like a stupid question, but really isn't, and in fact has a very interesting and thought provoking answer. By reducing the answer to the simplest possible option "sterile means you can't have kids so no (no longer true anyways), the teacher has ignored the very interesting question and teaching moment it brings up (can things like sterility be passed on: Yes).
Elusive2000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/SandwormSlim and /u/WebbieVanderquack we need more details to see if this is the same event.
WebbieVanderquack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Australian, if that narrows it down, and it was a girls-only class. OP said "health class," which is not what we called it, so I probably wasn't the same kid. But everything else played out exactly the way OP describes it. I did have a moment of suddenly realising my question didn't make sense, even though I knew what I was trying to say. And there was definitely a lot of laughter.
It's probably a question that pops up in every reproduction lesson the world over.
Elusive2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's probably true.
PinkDalek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did your parents have trouble conceiving you? Whatever their answer is, you probably inherited their characteristic too.
WebbieVanderquack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I was thinking of my aunt, who was told she couldn't have children at all, but ultimately did. Her daughters have actually had trouble conceiving, so my question was eventually answered.
Darth_Alpha ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:23:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could see this happening. The discomfort of talking about sex kept her brain from putting two and two together. At least she got it after she said it out loud.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:30:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
AllAboutMeMedia ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:20:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have heard that joke go something like this:
I heard on the radio an interesting statistic: If you're parents don't have kids, you probably won't either.
LittleIslander ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel someone somewhere has told this joke to an adopted child and made them very sad...
Dicios ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:56:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think she kind of asked the question wrongly as it is a valid question if not asked in such a black and white way. Sterility comes with age and afaik it is never 0% unless you are among the low percentage of some very big genetic abnormality or got something cut off.
So in a sense people who become sterile can technically have kids with some help or, have them before they become sterile or as people who had sterile kids themselves could have some sort of genetic pattern that caused sterility in their kids.
Should of asked if there was some sort of genetic or common cause that certain parents could have to cause this in their children.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:39:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my high school biology class we had a section on hybrid animals. We talked about the liger a sterile cross between a tiger and a lion. There was a guy in my class that asked what if you crossed a liger with another lion? The teacher said its sterile.....blank stare from the guy. "But what happens if a lion and a liger have baby what do they look like." He knew what sterile meant I think he just really wanted to imagine a giant cat.
Nimbus12345 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of hybrids can still reproduce, but generally can't get beyond 3 generations.
fecksprinkles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a moment like that in our biology class too, only I still insist it was a valid question so it shits me when I remember it.
My best friend and I wanted to know what would happen if two mules conceived. Yeah, they're usually sterile, but the key word there is 'usually'. Could the foetus be carried to term or would it be miscarried? Would it be born deformed, or would it just be like any other mule? Considering how fucky genetics can be with two horses that are completely the same species (like when two overos breed), do the genetic differences and similarities between a horse and a donkey compound with the generations and cause problems, or does it work itself out with hybrid vigour? If there are problems, what kind of problems come up? Why those ones, and not some other set of problems?
jim10040 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kudos to the teacher for leading the student. Just missed a short train of thought.
ShakoraDrake ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:14:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of something stupid I did for show and tell.
My Great Grandmother was born on the same day as Canada's "birthday." She lived a long life, and on her 100th birthday Canada was obviously 100 on the same day.
Because it was a nifty coincidence, she got to meet the Prime Minster and got a certificate pretty much saying "Hey it's cool you and Canada are both 100!" It was signed by the Prime Minister, and two other people.
Anyway, my Mother inherited the certificate, and one day I brought the certificate to class for show and tell. We passed it around and someone asked "Oh I can see the Prime Minister signed it, but who are the other two signatures?"
I didn't know the answer and said "I don't know, maybe her parents?" which caused the class to start giggling. I didn't understand at all why everyone thought it was funny. I actually didn't clue in until about a week later.
Still feel sort of silly about that one. In case anyone is as dumb as me: She was 100. Pretty sure her parents were long dead by that point.
naddi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While that might be a bit embarrassing for the girl, it was a really great move on the teacher's part. Socratic questioning is an awesome way to help students form a better understanding of the concept and develop logistical reasoning skills.
MRCNSRRVLTNG ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:39:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It actually took me a while to get it aswell... I was looking for the answer in the comments. lol.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:42:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reproduction can be difficult lol to be honest, I thought twins that were two separate genders were from the same egg but I could NOT understand how they became two different genders. Took me until my bio lecture in college to fully understand fraternal vs identical lol
Espdp2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That beautiful moment of dawning comprehension. Priceless!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a boy that was in my year at school and we had the same sex Ed class. The teacher asked what we do if we don't want unplanned pregnancy the answer is obviously use a condom, she then asked what we'd do if we want a planned pregnancy, to which the boy replied 'cut a hole out of the end'
TubeSteak424242 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:32:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there are any number of reasons you could be sterile that don't manifest themselves from the time of puberty. the question had a perfectly good idea and instead of getting to the core of the idea you coached the kid into thinking his question was stupid. good job.
SandwormSlim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Er, it wasn't me, I was another student in the class. And this happened about 30 years ago.
heidimark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, kudos to the teacher for helping the student figure out her error. That's how you teach!
pjp2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In their defense, I'm sure all of us have had a moment of stupidity like that one. We don't realize how stupid our question is until we actually think about it.
machingunwhhore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She did figure the answer out pretty much on her own.
tigerking615 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least that one seems like more of a brain-fart moment than a "she's a dumbass" moment.
ghost_of_mr_chicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah Dammit... I'm almost 40, and it took until your last sentence "what does it mean to be sterile?" for it to click inside my own head just now.
selahbrate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok i thought that was a legitimate question until I read the second part. I think I might be autistic
nusigf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the first part of this
Edit: link
Kaenalah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, Homer Simpson is sterile
gnarledwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's mother was sterile and my wife is a miracle baby.
Miqotegirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a stupid question. Sterility happens for quite a few number of reasons. There may be genetic reasons that make it harder to conceive.
Mechasteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, some sterility is genetic and you can pass it on to your children (using technology).
LesRenards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching health I had a student look at a picture of the male reproductive system and he looked at me aghast and goes, "wait, all of this is INSIDE OF ME?"
Nibodhika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was an argentinian actress who asked this question in live TV to an expert... She also, when told that an archeologist had found a dinosaur, asked "alive?".
WolfCore77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sooooo...no?
LostMyCocoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, your kids can't reproduce if they don't exist.
mrthescientist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOT IN THIS DAY AND AGE BABY!
But honestly, we're most ways to having babies without needing specific sperm and eggs. This sounds possible.
mrthescientist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOT IN THIS DAY AND AGE BABY!
But honestly, we're most ways to having babies without needing specific sperm and eggs. This sounds possible.
LittleIslander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be entirely honest, I had to read through to the end of the teacher's question before I realized why the question was silly...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends kids, asked her mom if a butt dial was the same as a booty call. Kids...
mypurplefriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah! I had a classmate asking the same question. I don't think he was trolling either, he had a couple of gems. I'm Austrian, so English is my second language, once we had to learn the term social worker which he translated back into german as a worker who really likes socialising with other people. Sadly I can't remember most of the other things he said.
loverofaltmedicine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I was like "That is such a great question!" Fuck this thread, I relate too much to the stupid questions.
Lawifeandmommy3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I wasn't getting it either! I was thinking "what's so funny??" hahaha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something I would've asked, but have repressed because the cringe is too strong.
Leohond15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately for her IQ is passed on to one's children.
J4nner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, it took me until the last sentence to figure out why the kids were laughing at her. FML
bebopenjoie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was that at DHS?! I remember this exact question being asked in 1993 or 1994!
SandwormSlim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was not at DHS. This happened in the mid eighties.
bebopenjoie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:13 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, then I was with the next generation of dummies.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a question I would ask.
kaloonzu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That could have been a much more tragic situation; I thought this story was going to end with her revealing, inadvertently, that she was sterile to her classmates.
elcarath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really glad that teacher at least responded to the question and made her think it through. That's good teaching.
PlagueDilopho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if your kids don't exist then they can't reproduce, so, technically......
Licensedpterodactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gosh, your user name is excellent. Well thought out. 10/10
[deleted] ยท 2590 points ยท Posted at 14:53:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ExtraGloves ยท 1716 points ยท Posted at 18:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Allies were Allison, Allissandra, Alex, Alyssa, Alice, and Alicia.
[deleted] ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 21:32:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're almost correct. Alex is actually one of the Lexis.
heffergod ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 00:11:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the Lexis Powers.
ThePancakeChair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:34 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was the Lexus Powers
ExtraGloves ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:42:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While True I know an Alexander that goes by Allie. I'm counting it!
disposable-name ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:06:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, basic bitch etymologists put it into the genera of the Lexises back in 2003, after it was discovered it was more closely related to them than the Alexes.
FrayedKnot1961 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:50:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the Lexis of Evil?
vaxfarineau ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:04:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alex who goes by Allie, reporting for duty!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:09:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're at the wrong camp, please join your natives from the Lexis Powers. We have a war to fight.
NeodymiumDinosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's move along
Raptorclaw621 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that spot wasn't taken by Alex, it was an Alisha.
Pimpapotimus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:39:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife goes by Allie and her name is Nathalie, so there's that.
ManintheMT ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:58:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But which side did she fight on?!
Pimpapotimus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:11:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely not for Arby's.
bad-r0bot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:27:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great Britain is such an Allison! Ugh
Stealthy_Bird ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:59:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but Alyssa didn't join until halfway
Icesix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:13:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/namenerds
PostOfficeBuddy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Almalexia.
semtex94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was real big into the occult.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guessed my name correctly!
Chaotichazard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alexis joined later in the war, and hardly ever gets mentioned
justkeepkeeping ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and some times Italy.
queendweeb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU AXIS SPY, It's ALLYSON.
Gear_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alex eventually joined Axel, Alexandra, Alexander, and Xavier.
Ice-Wreck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot Albus.
Dason37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Kirstie. Don't forget her.
anonthedude ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 18:27:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, now I'm imagining an army of girls, all named Allie, invading France.
Frothyleet ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:12:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
France under the puppet Vicky regime.
stupidfritz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like nobody got this, but it was still beautiful.
Frothyleet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:09:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. You and I will share this moment forever. It's almost better because it is only ours.
stupidfritz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<3
jlenney1 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:54:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, they'd probably win...
Regendorf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girls und Panzer?
Mildly-disturbing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/writingprompts
jakery2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liberating*
alaughton ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:58:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The mispronunciation is funny, but the question isn't that stupid. There were around 20 Allied countries...
jinxandrisks ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:11:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Normally not in middle/high school when you're learning about it. Sure the others might be mentioned, but you pretty much only need to know the U.S., Britain, France, and the USSR. At least that was the case when I was in HS a few years ago.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 21:01:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
American students don't usually learn that the USSR is included in "the Allies." Rather, that the USSR just happened to be in the neighborhood and so decided to help out.
yarlof ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:52:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned it. They made a big deal about how many Russians died in the effort, the horror at Stalingrad, how they basically handled the Eastern Front on their own, etc.
Granted, this was only 6 years ago and in New Jersey, so other places/times they may have taught it differently.
BadHarambe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's absolutely true, though. The USSR stayed out of the war until Hitler invaded them too. They weren't allies. They just happened to have the same enemy.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Co-beligrents
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The US also stayed out of the war until Japan attacked.
BadHarambe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:02:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I've never heard the US described as a member of the allies before the war.
alaughton ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:22:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not true. The USSR was considered an Allied Nation. They were part of "The Big Three" after all, and signatories to the United Nations. Calling them 'co-belligerents' came into vogue in the late 40s. It was the inspiration for Orwell's 1984 passage about how the Eurasians were the eternal enemies of Oceania, even though they were allies a few decades ago.
There were actual co-belligerents, though. For example, post-Mussolini Italy fought the German-backed Social Republic of Italy in a quasi-civil war. They were not considered Allies, merely co-belligerents, and that's why Italy wasn't a UN member until 1955.
*edit grammar
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Winston Churchill compared himself and Stalin to Neville Chamberlain and Hitler.
He trusted the United states, he just didn't know how to get them involved in the war.
jinxandrisks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, it might have been that. It's been a few years so I don't remember exactly how it was taught to me.
Sefirot8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in this case the mispronunciation IS stupid, because she would have had to go through the entire course without making a connection between Allies written down, and Allies spoken out loud.
flyingwind66 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:26:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an English teacher that pronounced "Ogre" as "Org" ... I had another friend say that to me once and I was so confused and then I wondered if it was a common mispronunciation
ReginaldDwight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My AP English teacher junior year pronounced macabre like "mack-uh-bree."
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, to be fair, fuck that word.
DH2007able ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did she do on the test?
throwawayhotelfun ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:39:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She allieese got a C.
aGeordie ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:40:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. I know adults that do this all the time. If the first time you've come across a word is from reading it, it's not obvious how it's pronounced.
My own embarrassing example came from a Terry Pratchett book. I mentally pronounced hitherto as a single word every time I read it. So instead of hither-to, I read it (and eventually once said it) as if it were a new type of singing voice.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:17:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
aGeordie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
aya_rei00 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:53:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use to work at a bank. Had a coworker that bragged at having a communications degree. He calls up a brokerage firm to confirm which office we are supposed to tie the investment to, in order for the broker to be paid his commission. My coworker said, โScant and tity? Or Albany?โ. He did not know how to pronounce Schenectady, NY.
jlenney1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:56:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How DO you pronounce it?
aya_rei00 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:00:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
skษ-หnek-tษ-dฤ
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:19:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ska-neck-ta-dee for those who are easily confused by IPA
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I like the Scant-and-tity one better.
PM_ME_BLUE_WAFFLE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that was my second guess
TangleF23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
สษ-nษk-tษ-di
Urbanscuba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar thing happen with pokemon games and the move "facade".
I knew the word, and knew how it was pronounced, but I'd never read it and the pokemon game setting added extra ambiguity as to whether it was a real word or not.
It took me like 3 or 4 years before I realized on my own how hilarious of a mistake I'd make. I'd been mentally pronounced it "fah-cade" the whole time.
Angry_Magpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As in "fah-kahd" or "fah-sahd"?
Urbanscuba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the correct pronunciation is "fuh-sahd" but I called it "fah-cade" since I'd never read the word and connected the pronunciation.
Same with yarmulke for a bit, but that one is kind of cheating. I doubt many people outside the Jewish community could spell it from memory so I don't feel too bad about that one. I can now though hah.
Angry_Magpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you pronounce yarmulke actually? Is the e silent?
Urbanscuba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A yarmulke is the small round Jewish head adornment, pronounced "Yah-muh-kuh". Basically you ignore the R and the L and stretch out the vowels.
Angry_Magpie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now I feel kinda dumb - I've been thinking it was "yarmulk"!
blonderecluse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Melancholy was mel-LAWN-kahlee, sidle was sittle, and rendez-vous was ren-DEZ-vuss for the longest time
Edit: Oh, and gauge was godge
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hither-toe?
aGeordie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HIther-tOO.
(up until now.)
TangleF23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
heeveerrto
ldykass89 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:42:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed into near hyperventilation over that.
GLaDOs18 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:28:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had been in your place I would not have been able to hold back my laughter.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:38:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sefirot8 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:42:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legownz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:25:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a time I was working on a group project and my friend was writing down everyone's names. He asked me what this one girl's name was and I said "Aly" and he's like "Ok" and writes down "Alley"...
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly a lot of people would get that wrong. There's like four different white girl spellings and I might be able to Ebonics the fuck out of it for a couple more
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:06:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then you've got your Ali, as in Muhammad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Ali was his brother or step brother or uncle or something.
Legownz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:07 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no. You're thinking of Ali G...
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And people complain about blacks butchering the English language /s
(Before the linguists come in and start screaming at me for being a dirty prescriptivist, I agree with you. It was a joke)
queendweeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an A-L-L-Y-son, I can tell you there are far more than 4 spellings of this name. The weirdest one I've stumbled across is A-L-E-S-U-N.
"Alesun"
See also: "Alicyn"
diamondhead24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh that ain't that bad. Alley Cat, Ally. Allie McBeil.
introspeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the movie sequel to "Heathers".
bootwhistle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She should have read up on the 'UN' and how they UN-nazi'd the world forever
SmokeWine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds like a Jennifer.
Sneezegoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So she aced it right? XD
Bears_On_Stilts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did The Sound of Music as a kid, and they had a local actor in a first-time role as the Captain. He didn't know the show too well, and the script was an old mimeograph, not the nice computer-edited professional-looking versions they send out today.
At one point, the Captain is supposed to say, comfortingly, "Liesl, Liesl." Liesl is the name of his eldest daughter. At the first rehearsal, he misread the awful old mimeograph as having exclamation points, and in the middle of a tender scene, shouted, "Lies! Lies!"
metaljeffbeerstuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least she didn't ask you about unit 731.
hoylemd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:34 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GODDAMN THAT IS ADORABLE.
stygger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:22 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair there can be many young americans that think the US was part of the Allies from the start when in fact the Allies mainly consisted of the United Kingdom for a number of years.
ImmuneToTVTropes ยท 7053 points ยท Posted at 15:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At university I had a classmate that would often show up 20 minutes late to class. The first thing he did after sitting down was raise his hand to ask questions about what the professor had just said, question after question until he had caught up with the rest of the class.
Absolutely infuriating.
tritonice ยท 7300 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a bad professor who allowed that.
[deleted] ยท 2592 points ยท Posted at 20:25:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's how it would actually go:
Student: "Wait, how did you get to that step? What was the previous step?"
Professor: "Do you have a question about this step?"
Student: "No, I have a question about the previous step."
Professor: "Then why didn't you ask it when I went over the previous step?"
Student: "Because I wasn't here yet."
Professor: "Tough titty."
Nabeshin1002 ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 22:40:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Community college, night sessions.
The class begins as usual, students begin to take notes, eager to learn. The teacher, despite the late hour, is energetic and engaging. A normal, productive night like the weeks before.
Suddenly in the middle of a sentence one student stands up; his over-sized stained sweatpants swaying gently as though a breeze passed through. The teacher drops her sentence; a puzzled expression comes over her as she waits for an explanation.
It is in vain.
He glances around the silent classroom languidly then departs, leaving his disheveled notebooks and texts behind; never looking back, letting the door slam behind him as he exits the room.
The class is momentarily stunned but recovers from the bizarre scene and returns quickly to the act of learning.
An hour passes.
The door abruptly opens again, the former student returning with chips and soda in hand. A contented look upon his face as he saunters back to his previously occupied seat, as though he was basking in the incredulous stares of his stupefied classmates and teacher.
He sits; opens his chips and soda then looks around at the staring audience. For a moment, just a moment, he appears to wonder if something is out of place in his actions. If somehow he is in the wrong?
No, he decides, and munches on a chip before raising his hand in a slow but smooth motion.
The teacher hesitates, wondering, hoping, praying. She steels her resolve and acknowledges the errant student.
"Yes?"
He takes a breath slowly, as though he knows deep down this is wrong, but resolves himself to action.
"What'd I miss?"
Everything stops. The world stills and all eyes turn from student to teacher.
A breath.
Another breath.
A single strangled syllable.
Another breath; deeper this time, as she finally collects herself.
"A lot."
Ichera ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:15:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah someones been to night classes before I see!
hugecrybaby ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:42:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn that was good
whitefox00 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:14:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a great storyteller-I wanted to read more.
Voxel_Brony ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 00:24:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I show up 10-20 minutes late to my cc night class most of the timeโwith coffee of courseโbut usually haven't missed anything. If there weren't unannounced quizzes I'd probably not go most of the time
Alarid ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:23:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Guess you fail then"
I had one professor who was asked about one step, and she stared at the student then turned back to the board and kept writing. That was strike three for her, and now she isn't allowed to teach at the university anymore.
foxontherails ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:25:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck? What's happened to teaching students self-responsibility? Of course maybe the professor was harsh in the way she dismissed the student - maybe she should've told the student to ask a classmate to help him/her get up to par - but something's wrong here.
[deleted] ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 21:26:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
corran450 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:36:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
aza9999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got brinner? Daaaamn Turkledawg!
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:12:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am just impressed you folks have professors that answer questions.
First day: "I dont answer questions. Ask the TA after class."
thomas849 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 23:44:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay yeah if you were in a lecture style class then I get it but if you're talking about an upper-level, program specific course where there's 12 students in attendance, that's just a shitty professor.
melten005 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:44:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"THIS MAN JUST SEXUALLY HARASSED ME"
Jordaneer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:54:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now show where on the doll he harassed you.
Natanael_L ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:24:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Points to the head
"my brain still hurts"
likesinatra ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:59:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor Hugh Mungus
SteamDriedRat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:14:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HUGH MUNGUS WOT
TheCruncher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Hugh J. Mungus to you.
hiRyan33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Money well spent. Sign me up.
Goganite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'll.mms m:l
Thedeadlypoet ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 22:04:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor was then promptly fired, due to the student no longer feeling safe at campus. The student was given a week of safe-space, complete with kitties, puppies, lego and playdough.
Damn, lot of downvotes for a joke.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:36:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Safe space! Safe space!
Ololic ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's harassment
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:09:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
None of my professors cared how late we were as long as we didn't disrupt the class.
[deleted] ยท 399 points ยท Posted at 18:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also clearly the smartest student in the room for taking advantage and getting 20 mins extra sleep
[deleted] ยท 267 points ยท Posted at 19:05:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ShoggothEyes ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 19:58:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then lower-quality rushed education for the rest of the class.
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 20:06:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
perhaps, but he also leveled the playing field against his competitors
ShoggothEyes ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 20:09:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How so? They got to hear the first part twice, and then they both had to hear the second part in less detail, which means that the second part will only be fully understood by kids who go home and look it up, which are probably not the kind of kids who come to class 20 mins late.
Saint-just04 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:24:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he came in late in order to study the previous lesson.
Klubhead ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 21:03:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just got here.. What's everyone talking about?
Peuned ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking donnie
thbigjeffrey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well basically mate, ah...... I see what you did there...
211av8r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were you listening to the Dudes story?
NotASpanishSpeaker ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:01:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know. Totally a dick move.
uptokesforall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found that guy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ayyyyy
copperwatt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude must have transferred from Trump U, motto: be the absolute largest dick you can get away with being.
dreed91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So relevant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
at least they learned something there - trump probably
Figuronono ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 19:24:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's like my university, then there might have been over 100 students in a large auditorium. Can't really track everyone in that scenario.
Chungus_Bromungus ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 19:59:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had similar classes but the professor would typically realize the same student asked 5+ questions back to back and would tell him to stay behind after class or meet them during office hours for 1-1 instruction.
PRMan99 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:36:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor that said, "Show up on time and you won't miss anything."
She didn't take crap from students.
appleciders ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:20:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine locked the door.
JesuitPeriwinkle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:16:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a night class with a guy who came in every day with his laptop and exclusively watched Bollywood movies in a single Bluetooth earpiece or napped. Not stereo headphones, just a mono earpiece.
He didn't take crap from faculty.
tritonice ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:25:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would imagine if a single student started asking multiple questions 20 minutes after class started regarding the first 20 minutes of the lecture, and did that for more than two days, then most professors would probably be on high alert, even if it was the Rose Bowl.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:20:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it a bad student for doing that?
[deleted] ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 19:37:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ex_iledd ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:13:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like they were made for one another.
Saint-just04 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:25:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bad, but on a much lower scale than the teacher. Not only does he enable that behaviour, he also wastes valuable time that could be spent teaching the other children.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:51:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ribbing ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:56:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Debatable.
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legally, sure. But mentally...Not so much. Though the professor who had a test and paper due after The Super Bowl clearly didn't subscribe to that belief. I've never witnessed a more miserable class.
MagiicHat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:23:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A number does not mean you are grown up.
EmporioIvankov ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:46:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it literally does. No one was talking about maturity.
tritonice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, bad all around.
jrizos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It actually states on my syllabus, and I would say the same to a person doing this, that I'm not going to give them a personalized lecture to catch them up on things missed in their absence. They can consult with other students and get even better notes, because, you know, notes.
theangrylobster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It happens in seminars where no one feels like participating. There are usually a few dumb kids that'll throw up their hand and contribute nothing but since they're contributing something, they'll get marks anyways.
nintrader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid like this in a class I took where the professor would go completely on tangents on his own and the bullshit this kid guy would ask about was completely unrelated. Every time the professor finished explaining something, he'd say "okay, any questions?" and this kid would do this every time, like clockwork. I mostly just ended up playing Sonic on my laptop in class because like 5% of the lecture was actually relevant to anything on the test.
calypso1215 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allowed what? Who?
MrHallmark ยท -27 points ยท Posted at 20:02:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, it's not the professors job to make sure students come on time, though it is his job to answer questions of students.
a_blue_ducks ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 20:05:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also his/her job to run the classroom, and allowing one student to hijack it all the time is not doing their job very well
MrHallmark ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 20:08:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah they get paid to show up and teach. You would be surprised. They give zero shits if a student shows up late, though asking questions they HAVE to answer.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:12:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit. They get paid to have standards. They also did a disservice to the rest of the class.
MrHallmark ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 20:14:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They get paid to show up and teach, and assign papers and give the student a grade.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:24:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They get paid to do those things, and many many many other things. That professor is doing a poor job of teaching the rest of the students.
MrHallmark ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 20:27:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, because repeating material is a "poor job of teaching".
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:29:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consistently repeating material for one student because that student consistently shows up late is a poor job of teaching. It is keeping the rest of the class back.
Are you that student?
litlqueentrashmouth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that answer would be obvious.
MrHallmark ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:29:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is paid to answer questions. End of discussion.
SlappaDaBassMahn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:43:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You cant just say "end of discussion" to act like you won. You clearly have no idea what a professors job is. They have an obligation to teach the material, if one student tries to waste 20 minutes because they are not on time, then thats 20 minutes of class that doesnt get taught properly/at all. This is why teachers usually say save questions until the end.
You are either a shitty student or a worse professor...
MrHallmark ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP did not say that the student wasted 20 minutes. It just said he kept asking questions. Nowhere does it say it took 20 minutes to answer the questions.
SlappaDaBassMahn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it takes the prof 20 minutes to teach it in the first place, it will take longer for him to reteach it with this student also spending time asking about it. Or he could skim over it very quickly and not teach it properly, which also goes against your argument that he is a good prof. Face it, you are wrong.
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:49:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never said he's a good prof? I just said it's his job to answer questions and teach the materials.
a_blue_ducks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cannot tell if you are being a troll or serious. Gotta love the internet
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:48:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
;)
hubristichumor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:32:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Giving a recap due to someone showing up late at the expense of being able to further the lesson plan for the day is not what teachers get paid for.
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:36:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teachers, no? Professors, do. In 3rd and 4th year classes they have a LOT of control. 1st and 2nd year, not so much. If this professor was doing this I can guarantee it was an upper level class.
hubristichumor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I meant professors, but generally speaking i'd say it applies to both. I draw the line when continuing to get a late student caught up means the lesson plan for the day can't be fully covered.
If you fall behind, it should be because students are actively engaged and questioning something they already heard (no matter when it was discussed during the lecture). But they shouldn't be asking to repeat anything to the extent that the entire class falls behind in the lesson plan due to students who show up late.
Ribbing ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:27:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, they get paid to teach a class, not cater to the whims of a single student. If they let one student dictate how a large chunk of class time is spent then they are failing to teach well and they are shorting the other students on the education that they paid for.
You don't seem to have a very mature or professional understanding of the occupation.
MrHallmark ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP does not say prof spent 20 minutes re-teaching. Prof just answered said questions. That can take 5 minutes to do for each concept. I highly doubt that in 20 minutes that prof taught more than 1 or 2 concepts. Answering vaguely still is an answer...
Merwana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude your argument is weak just fold.
MrHallmark ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, but thank you for your opinion. Feel free to downvote me if that helps you sleep at night.
heat1132 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:15:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a bad teacher then, at least some of the teachers I've had actually care if their students are late. Not a lot of teachers teach for the money, at least, not in America
MrHallmark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In canada profs don't care. I go to an "ivy league" school in ontario. They couldn't care less. If they fall behind it doesn't matter. And I've seen this in all 4 years. I've had exams be 2-3 chapters less because they fell behind.
OldFrets ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to teach college classes, I assure you that you are wrong. Based on your other responses, it's pretty obvious that you have no idea how things actually work in a university.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:10:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MrHallmark ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 20:12:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he's not he's answering students questions.. There is no way he would know if that student will ask a question about something they missed. Sure he could say no come on time. Then that student goes to the head of the department, bitches, and unnecessary shit storm. He's better off just answering.
fishsticks40 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:23:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You say "we covered that in the first part of the lecture" and move on
MrHallmark ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have clearly never attended university. That is not how it works. If a prof said that, and the student complained that the prof wasn't answering questions they would be fired.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:30:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what happened quite often at my university, both to myself when I was late and to other students who were late.
For clarification, I meant a late student asking what was said before they showed up and being told that they missed the first part of the lecture and could come by the office after class. It always ended with the professor saying something like that, then moving on with nothing bad happening to student or professor.
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:31:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you were to take that to the Dean, that professor would have to prove that you or w/e student was late. At this point it's you as a student paying 1000s of dollars saying he is not answering questions. Here in canada that shit does not slide.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:44:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, yes, I could have technically filed a report and complained to the dean that the professor wasn't answering my questions, but I'm going to guess that, if it ever came to requiring witnesses, a bunch of students or assistants would basically tell the dean "Mr. Dyetalian's questions weren't answered but he showed up 30 minutes into the lecture and stopped it to ask what he missed and the professor said he/she would tell them after class."
Then I'd promptly be told to just visit the professor after class and stop wasting everyone's time, if the dean is the reasonable sort. But I'm not some kind of jerk who's going to demand everything stop for my convenience, even if I'm paying for it.
Merwana ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:01:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know you, but you come off as an entitled cunt.
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:03:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool story bro.
fishsticks40 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you took that to the Dean, they would instigate their existing complaint protocol, all the while bitching behind your back about how you're wasting their time with your entitled bullshit.
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:17:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I pay for university I am entitled to have my questions answered. Yes, that is correct.
fishsticks40 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. That's not correct. You're not entitled to ask any number of questions, the professor is not required to answer them.
The professor is required to teach a class that meets academic standards, and to maintain classroom order for all students. The professor is required to be reasonable available outside class time to answer student questions through office hours. Your payment does not entitle you to unlimited access to them, anymore than buying a restaurant meal entitles you to be the sole object of your server's attention.
I don't know where you get this sense but you are flat out wrong, and your complaint would not only not get a professor fired, it would go on to be a story they would tell at your expense at department meetings for years. You are not a special snowflake. You paid for a class which you opted not to attend; that is on you and the professor has zero obligation to make up for your laziness.
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:34:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Believe it or not, it actually does. At least when you're paying 1000s of dollars. Profs are required to answer academic questions. Hate to break it to you.
fishsticks40 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's hilarious that you actually seem to believe you're right here. No professor has ever been fired for failing to answer an absent student's question.
You paid "1000s of dollars" for the right to attend the class, to receive instruction to academic norms, and to have your work fairly graded. That's it.
Here is a pretty standard code of conduct: "Students have the obligation to attend every class on the schedule, to arrive on time, to be prepared for the class including fulfillment of all assignments, and to participate actively in the learning process that occurs in the classroom. Students also have a serious obligation to take the classroom environment seriously, to follow the directions of the faculty member, and to refrain from conduct that is disorderly, disrespectful or disruptive of the learning environment."
fishsticks40 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:41:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol that could not be further from the truth. I'm currently finishing my PhD and have two post-secondary degrees. I have not only attended, but taught at a major land grant university. Even as a graduate assistant I would not have hesitated to say that.
Yes it is.
Firing a tenured professor is extremely difficult. Furthermore a professor represents a major investment by the university. They're not going to get fired because a student complained. Students complain all the time.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:23:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong. The student doesn't run the class, the teacher does. Get there on time in order to get all the info.
Now, if late student decides to stick around for an extra twenty minutes at the end, and the professor is kind enough to go back over what was missed, different story.
MrHallmark ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
K, it's not about "running the class". The professor has a choice. To ignore his questions or to answer them. HE IS PAID TO ANSWER STUDENTS QUESTIONS. This has nothing to do about running the class. I highly doubt that this professor spent 20 minutes re-teaching rather then answering the questions in a simple way.
warhammerkid ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:39:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's not paid to answer students questions, he's paid to teach a subject matter to all his students. Answering questions helps with that, but there's a balance between helping one student out and making sure the rest of the class learns the information they paid to learn.
By your logic I could waste the entire class asking stupid yet relevant questions to the class so the rest of the class doesn't learn anything? I've had professors tell students to see them after class if they want to discuss additional information so they don't get offtrack and keep to their schedule. This is actually really important especially if you have weekly labs or quizzes where you need to know what's being taught during that week.
unautre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, what are you not understanding about one person taking time from the other students? Those other students paid for that time. The late student is stealing time from all the other students. Seriously, stop arguing and making up scenarios to justify your viewpoint. Just take a few minutes to think about how other people could be right and you could be wrong. Think about how you are not a professional educator and how professional educators know more about education than you do.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
unautre ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:05:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, you are so mad right now.
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:06:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not at all. You're getting triggered by my opinion. Seems like you're the one whose made. Kek.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me put it this way... If you're at the cinema watching a film but then someone shows up twenty minutes late, do you think it is reasonable for late person to expect that the film be stopped and played all over again from the start? Of course not. If the cinema then complied, wouldn't that be unfair to the other patrons who did get there on time? Just because Mr Late bought a ticket doesn't mean that the cinema now owes them the first twenty minutes.
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:05:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that hasn't happened here. By your logic if I didn't understand the first 20 min of class and asking questions for him to re-explain I shouldn't be allowed to that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not smart, and you need to know when to shut the fuck up.
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:09:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you so angry? You don't know me, my level of education, what I do, or anything? Because my opinion is being bashed for being different. That makes me stupid and I should stop using a website? Who do you think you are to make those assumptions and tell me what to do?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:00:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not smart. You need to take an honest look at yourself because you come off as a complete fucking idiot
MrHallmark ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man someone on reddit is insulting my intellect. What ever will I do?! Oh gee golly!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now you've changed the premise.
Not understanding something is one thing, but expecting the world to stop (to the detriment of others) because you were late is what we're all actually talking about.
MrHallmark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This individual doesn't understand the material. It's the same as a student not understanding because they were there just as he didn't understand for not being there. Your premise is a bad one as it doesn't involve a person i.e. a professor acting the movie. A movie theater only has on job and it's to play the movie from start to end, you can ask to have it played from the start, the answer will be no. Regardless my situation is still the same, time is being stopped to "re-teach" but it's okay because I was there and not late? Time stopped is time stopped.
tritonice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the student is not making it worth his/her time to be there for all of the lecture when the answers are initially presented (and the other students are), why is it worth the professor's time to answer his/her questions?
MrHallmark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:21:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't, you're right. But when that professor sees him/her raise their hand and hears their question. You have a choice A) Answer it, B) ignore him. Answering it is just you doing your job. Not answering it you come off as a dick, could possibly get complaints, etc.
learntoswim_CPR ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 17:58:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a university professor, I would tell the student to get with a classmate to see what he had missed and to start getting to class on time.
[deleted] ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 18:46:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find it even easier to tell the student too bad he missed it.... be on time next class. At university level, if they aren't self responsible then they need to feel the sting of failure.
badabg ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 19:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. More of this. There is WAY too much hand holding at university.
SidusObscurus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:17:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have designated hand holding hours scheduled. It's called office hours. If the student isn't making use of that, there's no excuse.
whitefox00 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:20:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had one professor that passed me solely because I showed up for his office hours every week. It was a class that I was struggling with badly, had no relation to my degree. Really was trying, it just wasn't clicking. So every week I'd spend an hour in his office correcting all my mistakes and trying to understand the concepts. Even though my test grades SUCKED he still passed me for my "commitment to trying". Not sure if he was just being nice or was afraid to get me as a student again-but I took it!
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:54:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hand holding for irresponsible behavior that should have been learned whereas they tell you "we cant hold your hands" for things no one outside that school would ever encounter.
MontazumasRevenge ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:55:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they are safe spaces after all. Nothing safer than holding a hand.
LegosasXI ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it is a straight, cis, white, male hand.
mstarrbrannigan ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 20:21:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a classmate in college who constantly asked questions that the teacher had answered 5 minutes before. He hadn't even missed that part of class.
One day he and I were chatting and he told me about how he preferred our school to the larger university he'd previously gone to because he could ask questions. Wanted to tell him if he just paid attention he wouldn't have to ask questions.
DearyDairy ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:06:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really enjoyed my smaller nursing school, I focused better than my larger one, I got better grades and everything was just better there, the feedback from teachers was better too.
Took me another 2 years to learn I have an auditory processing disorder. I wasn't unfocused in my old lecture hall, I just couldn't hear properly! I knew I couldn't understand what was being said at the time, so I had my ears checked repeatedly, where I was told I wasn't physically deaf, so I assumed I must be mentally retarded.
Nope, just hard of hearing in certain circumstances.
mstarrbrannigan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I wonder if he had a similar problem? The school we went to was a small tech school with class sizes similar to a high school. This classmate was probably not stupid. The previous school he'd gone to was a really good school. But also, he and I are still friends on Facebook, he posts a lot of shit from some quack 'luminary' and also how dairy causes sickness and you can't become sick if you don't consume dairy. Also apparently milk is the primary cause of mucus....
DearyDairy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, singers agree dairy is a a bad idea before a gig because it will increase mucus. But it sounds like your friend is a few planks short of a dunny.
People with auditory processing disorders tend to have no issues with rationalising information and establishing coherent thought through written media, unless there's an underlying issue (in my case, I have chronic pain related brain fog, so I do have some cognitive issues)
mstarrbrannigan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mean I thought the auditory problem and his other interesting beliefs are related. I was just trying to establish that it might be that, or he might just be an idiot.
DearyDairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't think you were trying to make them sound related, I was agreeing your friend sounds like an idiot.
Though there is a possibility he's got additional learning disabilities.
kebaball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask you about the brain fog? Has your experience been clincally validated? What was it called (medically)? What do you expeirence?
DearyDairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brain fog is clinically validated but it's a symptom not a condition, and it's incredibly varied. It's just a general lack of focus and concentration caused by being in chronic pain or other conditions that sap focus. Various pain patients experience cognitive impairment for different reasons, for some people it's because the pain causes sleep problems and sleep deprivation causes cognitive slowness, for others is the pain itself that's distracting, for others it's because the pain caused chronic fatigue which causes mental fatigue too, and of course, medication can cause brain fog.
It's hard to explain because it is such a normal process. We all have days where we just feel off our game, a bit slow to catch on. The world around us feels muffled or "other worldly", things seem to happen to fast or we feel too slow. Pudding brain, hangover brain, flu brain, These are all totally normal human experiences. But with brain fog, it's like this all the time, every day, to varying degrees at varying times and often unexpectedly and without resolution.
Whether or not it impacts you depends on the severity of other issues and what you need your mind for. I have days where my physical condition is really good, so by comparison I feel really limited by my cognitive process. But other days I'm a mess physically so I don't feel like my mind is holding me back, because my body is holding me back more. I'm just a homemaker so I don't need my mind, but back when I was a nurse, my cognitive issues were debilitating and combined with my physical issues, it's why I had to leave that profession.
[deleted] ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 18:41:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FightFromTheInside ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:03:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, or just mumble ''sorry, car crash'' and sit yourself down as quick as you can.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:11:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's only if the professor stops talking and stares at you after you open the door. Otherwise, stfu and sit in the back.
EmpororPenguin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:00:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, even if I'm 10 minutes late to a class I will never ask a question because I feel like, what if I was there on time would I have understood it and by asking I'm wasting everyone's time? But yes that is infuriating
kinggamer1st ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a discussion section where a fellow student would do this. The teaching assistant would try to be helpful and answer but eventually got so annoyed and shocked to a point where she put her hands on her head and said "I'm going to kill myself"
Paladin_of_Trump ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:15:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not stupid, just inconsiderate.
drQuirky ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:04:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The cheek. How in the world did the professor, or anyone else in the class even, tolerate that?
I'm Relatively sure had I tried this, with even my friendliest professor, the best response I would have recieved is being asked to leave.
punkdigerati ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:17:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does one become immune to TVTropes?
ImmuneToTVTropes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure, but it might have been related to the radioactive TVTrope that bit me back at the lab..
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:05:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
doublecatTGU ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:44:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, their fall takes so long that during this time they've moved far enough sideways to miss the Earth.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:09:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it's so wrong it's actually almost correct
professor-i-borg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct response to these questions is "be on time next time". I would have snapped on this individual.
nocorelyt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would have been a perfect opportunity for the professor to really fuck with him.
Student: "What did I miss?"
Professor: "You missed my in-depth lecture on how the Russians, in 1241, completely invaded Europe, swam across the Atlantic, and utterly decimated the National Rifle Association."
OseiTheWarrior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have office hours for this shit
M35Dude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:04 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid like that in my E & M class!
We called him brick face.
Because we all wanted to throw a brick at his face.
xIDevv ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid: what did we learn
Professor: We learned how to NOT get to class late you slut.
KGeezle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:51:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one is immune to TV tropes.
ImmuneToTVTropes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is my shitty superpower. I am truly the chosen one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have put gum in his hair.
Jim_Nills_Mustache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, I'm gonna have to call bullshit.
Jabba_TheHoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a hero lol
tinykeyboard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we had a girl that always had questions which was fine but they were clearly already explained. it got to the point where everyone started referring to her as the question girl and the prof, after getting stopped for the 10th time in 15 minutes told her to ask her questions after class.
nicih ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he wanted to catch up. Some who come late only show up to not flunk out
heelsmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did that for a community college math class. Found out half way in I got the start time off by 15 min. Showed up on time from that point on.
demafrost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who was really smart but also just really lazy and didn't pay too much attention in class. In our AP Physics class, the teacher spent 5 minutes walking us through a rather complex problem and how to solve it, then asked asked us to spend a minute calculating the answer and finally asked my friend what the answer was. He hadn't been paying attention the whole time, so he snapped out of whatever daydream he was in and proceeded to walk through the entire problem, basically repeating everything the teacher said as he figured it out on his own, and finally a few minutes of rambling later came out with the correct answer.
IliveINtraffic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Life hack # 56, if you came late to class and need to catch up, ask your prof the questions after questions until you catch up.
Kir4_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's smart of him though.
scucca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My professor would assign reading of a chapter (say, chapter 1). Then in the next class he would ask "So, any questions about chapter 1? No? Alright, on to chapter 2." Then refuse to answer questions about chapter 1. Usually the only chapter students would not read before class
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always late to my 8am, but I just figure out what's going on with context or do my best to do that. Real dick move there.
LanMarkx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid like that once. After a week or so of it he announced at the beginning of a class that he would start locking the door at 10 after. If you were that late you wouldn't be allowed in class that day.
Late kid was pissed the next day. He wasn't late after that.
cnaiurbreaksppl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoyed how op was addressing teachers, yet you responded as a student. Fantastic.
Yrrebbor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is going places. Maybe a GOP Senate seat is in his future?
hi5yourface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach a kid like that. And to make it worse, every time he raises his hand and he also interrupts me by exclaiming "question"
Mrnoone696 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had something similar happen to me this Monday. My computer science professor explicitly said at the beginning of the semester that if he finds you doing something on the computer other than the lesson, he'll kick you out.
So, this girl brings in her own tablet with a keyboard attachment and while he's teaching something that just requires us to listen, she's clacking away on her keyboard. I don't know what the fuck this keyboard was made of, but it's loud as shit. Everyone's looking around their computers to try and see just what the fuck this chick is doing. Me and this dude start exchanging "Can you believe this shit?" glances, and the professor goes on to continue teaching his lesson like nothing's happening.
Finally, she stops her typing and starts asking questions about what he was teaching. He actually fucking answered her. I mean, he had a pissed off tone, but I couldn't believe he didn't kick her out, let alone say anything.
QcPacmanVDL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is way too many person like that at university, makes me wonder how the hell they got there
staticsnake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite professors wouldn't allow you in if you were more than 5 minutes late.
gbrincks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than a classmate I had. God bless her, she tried so hard, but she seemed naturally slow. The teacher would spend 15 minutes explaining how a thing worked then ask if anyone had any questions. Nothing. Then the teacher did the thing and she suddenly was all confused and had to ask how the thing worked.
tinmanshrugged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar guy in my Calc II class. He'd be on his laptop the whole time (what teacher would believe you're taking MATH notes on a computer??) and he'd occasionally look up to ask "how did you get from this step to this step?" And the answer had literally been explained 30 seconds before (เธ'ฬ-'ฬ)เธ
TakeOffYourMask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I have a classmate like that :(
crochetmeteorologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:40 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this in Emporia, Kansas, perchance?
ImmuneToTVTropes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:48 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.. it seems like this behavior isn't as rare as you might hope.
crochetmeteorologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:58 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It just sounded so exactly like that guy. He would also randomly interrupt professors and talk about whatever was on his mind. I saw him once outside of class and when we made eye contact and he started to walk over, I literally ran away from him. (I've never done that to anyone else before.)
One of my friends had the misfortune of having to actually take more than one class with him and also work with him, and apparently he never changed. I kind of wonder if he'll actually graduate or if he's so lacking in self-awareness that he'll never notice he's been kicked out of university out of sheer annoyance.
kutuup1989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:57 on April 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a student in my current class who does this all the time, to the point of interrupting me while I'm helping another student who actually shows up to class. Suffice to say he's failing the year. I'm an associate lecturer and never trained as a teacher, so classroom control and things like that are not in my skillset. I'm just there for the practical sessions in case any students have questions. A trained lecturer would probably get pissy with him, and with good reason, but I tend to just make a point of leaving his questions till last. Problem I have is I'm TOO helpful, and tend to help students out by writing example code (I teach programming), which they usually end up just copying verbatim. I eventually ended up putting deliberate errors in the example code so they'd have to fix it themselves. Ultimately they ended up just asking me how to fix the errors. On the plus side I'm super popular as a lecturer and my reviews have been amazing, but on the downside the students probably aren't learning as much as they should be because I'm a pushover. I've been invited back to do it again next year as my reviews are so high, but I don't think my methods are really beneficial to the students, despite how much they like them. I think I'll turn it down. It was a good years experience, so there's that.
kutuup1989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:57 on April 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a student in my current class who does this all the time, to the point of interrupting me while I'm helping another student who actually shows up to class. Suffice to say he's failing the year. I'm an associate lecturer and never trained as a teacher, so classroom control and things like that are not in my skillset. I'm just there for the practical sessions in case any students have questions. A trained lecturer would probably get pissy with him, and with good reason, but I tend to just make a point of leaving his questions till last. Problem I have is I'm TOO helpful, and tend to help students out by writing example code (I teach programming), which they usually end up just copying verbatim. I eventually ended up putting deliberate errors in the example code so they'd have to fix it themselves. Ultimately they ended up just asking me how to fix the errors. On the plus side I'm super popular as a lecturer and my reviews have been amazing, but on the downside the students probably aren't learning as much as they should be because I'm a pushover. I've been invited back to do it again next year as my reviews are so high, but I don't think my methods are really beneficial to the students, despite how much they like them. I think I'll turn it down. It was a good years experience, so there's that.
kutuup1989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:57 on April 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a student in my current class who does this all the time, to the point of interrupting me while I'm helping another student who actually shows up to class. Suffice to say he's failing the year. I'm an associate lecturer and never trained as a teacher, so classroom control and things like that are not in my skillset. I'm just there for the practical sessions in case any students have questions. A trained lecturer would probably get pissy with him, and with good reason, but I tend to just make a point of leaving his questions till last. Problem I have is I'm TOO helpful, and tend to help students out by writing example code (I teach programming), which they usually end up just copying verbatim. I eventually ended up putting deliberate errors in the example code so they'd have to fix it themselves. Ultimately they ended up just asking me how to fix the errors. On the plus side I'm super popular as a lecturer and my reviews have been amazing, but on the downside the students probably aren't learning as much as they should be because I'm a pushover. I've been invited back to do it again next year as my reviews are so high, but I don't think my methods are really beneficial to the students, despite how much they like them. I think I'll turn it down. It was a good years experience, so there's that.
vegetablesamosas ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost in tears reading this onr
Slightmeatsweats ยท 13981 points ยท Posted at 12:46:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 7th grade science class during sex ed they were talking about oral sex. Mormon girl in class "wait you can get an STD just from talking about sex?" I wouldn't call the question stupid, just no exposure at all to the topic beforehand.
[deleted] ยท 4599 points ยท Posted at 14:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1835 points ยท Posted at 15:20:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, but to every other kid there it looked like a real mad diss. Good job!
[deleted] ยท 1522 points ยท Posted at 15:56:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
last657 ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 15:57:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel old now since my familiarity with blowjobs predates google
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:09:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
last657 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:16:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Altavista was my go to for a bit
markercore ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:29:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because you're from Pawnee, IN? And seriously tho, they had/have babel fish which did some seriously good translation before google translate came along.
last657 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:55:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am from Indiana. Interestingly enough I've lived in the two places that I've seen people argue that Eagleton is based on.
bourbon4breakfast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are there any other contenders besides Zionsville and Carmel?
last657 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment makes the argument for West Lafayette. It definitely feels more like Carmel and Zionsville to me though
bourbon4breakfast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, not buying it. Spent 5 years in West Lafayette for school and it is definitely not Eagleton. Lafayette as Pawnee isn't a huge stretch, though.
Plus the show literally filmed some scenes in Zionsville.
last657 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree. Side note: I was class of 2010.
bourbon4breakfast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Purdue five ended in 09. Huge school, but always a chance we ran into each other at some point. Admittedly did a quick look at your post history when you mentioned being from Zionsville or Carmel and I too am a big Morrowind fan. Props.
last657 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose it is possible. Have a wonderful day :)
last657 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait were you Navy ROTC?
bourbon4breakfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, yep. Quit after three years, though. PM me so if we figure out we know each other it doesn't happen in front of the world.
bungwu ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:46:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My familiarity with blowjobs predates commonly known search engines. Get off my lawn.
NotClever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I distinctly remember pretending to know what all of the sexual jokes meant in middle school even though I had no idea, because I couldn't just go search the internet for them. I don't honestly recall how I learned what oral sex really was, but it definitely had to do with gleaning information from my peers while pretending to already know what they were talking about.
apricotlemons ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mine predates lawns
frossenkjerte ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:22:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Og! Og Og Og!
Horkpork ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like, ask your older brother.
noctrnalsymphony ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:44:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then verify the information, because your older brother was probably screwing with you.
Dracofav ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL more like taking a book out from the library.
Often times hidden between all of the other books so my parents didn't notice.
humancartograph ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:30:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No need for guilt. Middle school boys are assholes.
/former middle school boy
PrivateCaboose ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:20:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That shit ain't gender specific, all middle schoolers are sociopaths.
humancartograph ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:04:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair.
PM_ME_DANK_MEMESS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:59:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PrivateCaboose ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:14:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I'll concede that middle schoolers are ignorant sociopaths, and high schoolers are more mildly educated sociopaths. Really all I'm saying is everyone younger than me is obviously an asshole because fuck'em.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me, highschool paled in comparison to the remorseless cruelty we would inflict on eachother on a daily basis in middleschool. I still think about shit I said to people back then 10 years later. I was particularly rotten but still, I wasn't the only one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you were a weird kid middle school was MUCH worse than high school. Much more emotional scarring from 6th-8th grade than any other time. I felt guiltily satisfied when i learned in 10th grade that my middle school bully was pregnant
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:30 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't get people that didn't like high school I loved high school and I definitely wasn't the coolest kid around now middle school was a whole different story that shit was hell.
andai ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 16:23:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You felt guilty for accidentally rejecting a guy who was harassing you for a blowjob in the school hallway?
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:46:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
andai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for sharing! :)
PM_ME_DANK_MEMESS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school taught sexual harassment, but didn't go into sex at all. As much as I got for that kind of stuff was puberty.
badukhamster ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 16:26:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Middle school was such a weird time lmao
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:20:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously this is such a fucked up story
xxruruxx ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:00:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In hindsight, I really see how a lot of adults at school failed me. That dress code bra strap thing is still really creepy to me.
I sprouted boobs early, so I feel like I got sexually harassed in middle school just as much as I did in college.
That wasn't even the worst of it. A kid grabbed my boob in class one time, and it confused the hell out of me. A teacher saw, but I didn't make a scene because I had no idea what was going on so he just pretended not to see. It felt wrong, and I didn't know it was wrong until the kid smirked and said "heh."
That time, I actually did something about it and I kicked the shit out of him after class. You see, if I got caught beating him up, I'd get in trouble for fighting, even if the kid grabbed me. So I had to wait til after school.
I agree, it was really fucked up. Hopefully they've changed some things because that shit can't fly.
Winter-dough ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:30:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I like your way of thinking and doing. I would have been to shy to even beat anybody after school. Thanks for sharing your story.. :)
Sory to say that schools and teacher has not improved much. When I listens to my familys kids.
grubas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know it is odd, I went to an all boys High School. If we had girls around during classes I'd have failed out. Strangely that led to witnessing a Priest ask a nun if she really believed in chastity. Apparently our sister school needed nun chaperones for stage crew. A Jesuit hitting on A Sister of perpetual misery. Of course any sane man fears mins.
JagTror ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:08:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a pretty common feeling, at least in my experience. A lot of guys end up calling you a tease, getting angry, or shaming you in some other way when you reject them. I'm glad that education about consent is catching on more now, because I've been made to feel undesirable or guilty for saying no which led to me doing things I felt afraid to turn down.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Chaos_Therum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:57 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coming from a guy the teachers and parents tell the boys the same thing when they are being harassed and picked on by girls.
xxruruxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:43 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a profound difference between kids picking on each other and sexual assault and harassment.
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:40 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did I not say harassed. I got the shit beat out of me by multiple girls and many other guys did and we just had to stand there and take it because we were taught to not defend ourselves against girls. I mean like serious beatings I still have a scar from one. The teachers just laughed it off and said it's because they like you.
Ibbot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:52:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently OP didn't know that that was something sexual.
Skilol ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:22:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Damn, so that's what he wanted! If only I had known!"
atcoyou ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 16:32:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin wasn't sure if he was going to ask her to the prom after the BJ fiasco, but the more he thought about it the more he thought his new beau's exceptional lung capacity could be put too good use. Thinking quickly he sealed the envelope and submitted his bid to the prom planning committee. With his date helping, he would be able to buy dollar store balloons and have her help to blow them up in no time. His date would pay for herself this prom.
ShowerThoughtsAllDay ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:29:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When someone is harassing you, especially sexualy harassing you, their feelings are really the last thing you should be worried about.
CactusCustard ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:40:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I mean, he was telling you in front of everyone to suck his dick. Maybe the kid had it coming (haha?)
PerilousAll ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:29:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He asked you for a blow job as part of harassing you and you feel guilty?
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:36:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PerilousAll ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:17:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that time of night when you can't sleep so you relive every embarrassing thing in your life? Some night, maybe even tonight, he'll think about this and comfort himself by believing he's the only one who remembers.
Then he'll decide to kill some time on reddit until he's sleepy again.
Boom!
IiteraIIy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was harassing you. I think you handled that situation perfectly and should be proud.
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:53:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best story I've read in weeks.
mightymouse513 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:54:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Geez, the school I went to also banned tank tops, but at least they enforced it for both genders. In fact, I was told it existed to keep the boys from wearing muscle tops to school! Not sure if it was true or not, but I believed it at the time. There was a kid I had to sit next to in class that wore a muscle shirt once, and being able to see his entire torso through his armhole was not something I wanted to be privy to.
lutel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually this is good story for Southpark
NapClub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
totally agree, sex ed is super important and this is why.
in_rod_we_trust ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok. When I was working at Superstore in 12th grade, I thought a pallet jack was a handjob for some reason, and I asked my manager for a handjob to move one of the pallets around the back of the store. He took it pretty well, somehow I wasn't fired.
zeonchar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the kid sounds like he was being a dick. He deserved to get rekt.
ADarkSpirit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"fled like a damn Pokemon"
Poetry.
goingbananas44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, as most bullies tend to, that kid was most probably taking some sort of anguish or problems at home out on you. Maybe he was hoping to get power or whatever, but he looked scared shitless because you stripped that from him without even knowing you were doing it. This is also most likely why he left you alone afterwards. Bullies go after the easy prey because they [mostly] do it to make themselves feel better, but you showed that you were not, in fact, easy prey. Source: kid who got bullied a lot but learned to let it go, and with that so did many of the bullies.
JessicaBecause ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious.
Sigmund_Six ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shame on those teachers. A lot of bullshit behavior has been enabled by teachers like this.
HPGal3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He looked rekt because he got rekt. Good job
Pennwisedom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, as a middle school boy, this was all I had.
My most vivid memory from Middle School is the day this girl in my class had her bra break.
Liberatedhusky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You think a blowjob would have helped?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Teach acceptable behavior." In middle school? Think about that for a minute.
Firtox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had an opposite experience in high school regarding tank tops, girls were allowed-and wore them all the time-but I wore one to school once and was asked to put something over it.
raizen0106 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
imagine if you actually knew what a blowjob was like, that madlad would've gotten one out of nothing
xxruruxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, he probably woulda gotten his ass kicked.
Butta_Butta_Jam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After the Google, did he get his blow job?
Moglorosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asking the real questions.
DieMilkweed ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:49:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No - and I say this as a certified health teacher - that's why PARENTS should teach sex ed and acceptable behavior to kids.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for your students if that's your outlook.
It's both, but it's required by law in schools for a reason.
I really disagree with teachers normalizing sexual harassment at school. As long as it happens at school, the adults there have a duty of care to the students.
The parents aren't going to know if their kid is engaging in predatory behavior at school if the teachers are encouraging it, saying "the parents should teach him better" and not telling them. No, you gotta tell the kid it's not okay, and report to the parents it happens at school. "Problem" kids act differently at home than at school.
DieMilkweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps I didn't communicate that well. No, forget perhaps, I blew it. Apparently spent too many of my mental cycles earlier today.
I'm sick and tired of society saying "the schools should teach this, the schools should teach that' INSTEAD of just raising their kids to be decent people so the schools can focus on teaching academic subjects like they're supposed to do, and are good at.
I can't teach your kids morals because they are MY morals, and if I even TRY to teach them to your kid, somebody is going to bitch to high heaven about it. Kids come in with no idea how to treat people, no idea how to respond to someone who tells them "no" and actually means it. No idea that rules actually mean something for them personally, that their actions have consequences and that those consequences are real and cannot be changed by deciding to do the right thing long AFTER the consequences have been enforced. And while kids are notorious for having poor conflict resolution skills, we are getting worse and worse at it (give them back recess damn it, so they can learn how to interact).
I really don't think we have a schools problem, I think we have a parenting problem. And that parenting problem, in turn, is largely trackable to an inequality problem. Attention, passion and energy are finite resources, and when you're working 80 hours a week during the hours when your kid is out of school, and still can't pay the rent, have no health insurance, no benefits, no vacation, you're schedule for Sunday is written Saturday afternoon, .... it's awfully hard to stick to your guns when your kid whines (as kids will do - it's part of human development). As a result, the kids learn that whining works, that rules are not actually meant for them, and that they will be handed everything without having to actually DO any work themselves because it's easier for mom or dad or auntie or gramma to just do it than to make the kid learn to handle things properly themselves. It's NOT the caregiver's fault much of the time, it's the result of a crappy situation taking mental and emotional resources that need to go into parenting and putting them into crappy-assed jobs.
TL/DR: crappy situations make crappy parents make crappy kids make people say schools should do more when, in fact, we just can't. And we shouldn't have to.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:^ ) you too?
I agree that educators are often wrongfully blamed for some problems that they have no control over (And if you believe that educators should go above and beyond their job duties, then you should also believe that schools deserve far more funding). Anyways.
None of that really applied at my school though. Everyone was upper middle class, so the parents would have been responsive if they were at least informed that their kid was being a predator. It was the kind of public school that donations were an expectation for, and Christmas time was a time for attempted bribery.
I wrote this in a separate comment, but some kid grabbed my boob in class and the teacher pretended not to see. That's the kind of shit I'm talking about, where the teachers need to intervene and teach the kid that shit don't fly. Or teachers that literally tug on girls' bra straps for a dress code thing. Perhaps it was a different time, (it was after all, pre-social justice era), but I feel extremely let down by the adults in my life at the time. This wasn't meant to be a statement on educators in general, I know my experience is just with a select few assholes. But I do think that a comprehensive program for sex ed is so important, and that teachers shouldnt turn a blind eye to early sexual predators.
DieMilkweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tugging on a bra strap, for a different generation, would likely have been seen about the same as tugging on a young man's pants that were too low - as an attempt to correct a child's clothing mishap (forget that the "child" in question is basically an adult physically, is not yours, and is at a developmental stage where basically everything is mortally embarrassing). We get told every year not to touch students at all these days. Kid wants to give you a hug? Gotta turn sideways and make it less personal.
The boob grab? Yeah, that's always been sexual assault, and the district and the teacher in particular are in DEEP shit for letting that fly. Even pre-social justice, you had a decent chance of getting something done through the courts - but what teenager wants to deal with that?
Sorry you had to deal with that.
tychus-findlay ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, yeah, you should definitely feel guilty. Hey, can I have a blowjob?
xxruruxx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:43:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure! Here you go!
Ghotimonger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please stop googling "blowing dogs"
xxruruxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was actually "huff and puff"
:^ )
solidSC ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5th grade is grade school unless you were reeeeaaalllly advanced and that kid liked 10 year olds when he was 13.
ProphetMohammad ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like to immediately call the cops if someone touches me inappropriately :)
ProphetMohammad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
go on...
Ghotimonger ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And from then on, you gave proper blowjobs to all who requested them
2Cosmic_2Charlie ยท 2341 points ยท Posted at 15:25:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even in innocence the response you gave him was so appropriately dismissive and sarcastic that I'd bet he left you alone after it.
[deleted] ยท 404 points ยท Posted at 18:07:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PresidentDonaldChump ยท 520 points ยท Posted at 18:28:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dear Diary, I got my first blowjob today!!!"
RageReset ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 19:22:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dear Diary, I gave someone a blowjob in the hallway at school today."
Fancy not knowing who Jeeves is. How am I this old already?
TheGurw ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that bad. I'm only 26 and I get the reference.
xorgol ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:16:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, but I don't think any of my friends would, most of them seem to have discovered the internet in high school.
dm117 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:32:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 22 and had no idea Jeeves was a thing.
The_Gr8_Catsby ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:18:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused because I'm 22, and Ask Jeeves was all we used in elementary and middle school.
dm117 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:20:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, it was Yahoo for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, I had to use kvasir
Kingshirez ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:35:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
20 and I know jeeves where do we draw the line?
dm117 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:53:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know, let's Bing it!
VivaLaPigotry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You, sir have just won
Raptorclaw621 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:21:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 20 and I got it. You can all rejoice, you're not old!
TheGurw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhhh. I don't feel old. I feel exactly the age I am supposed to be at this junction in my life.
Crimmsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:46 on February 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 16 and still got it, but that might be because I am/was a very weird kid. None of my friends have any clue (nor does my mom, actually, but I put it up to the fact that she grew up in the 60's in Germany)
KaptinKograt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:03:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You blew too hard! Did he live?
YaBoyMax ยท 865 points ยท Posted at 15:19:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one's kinda cute, actually.
UzukiCheverie ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:20:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure as a kid I thought it just happened after you got married. Like, go to the ceremony, get married, and then you could get pregnant (but if you weren't married you couldn't). Thanks Harvest Moon games! And thank god for proper sex ed.
pointsofellie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:12:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mum was told that Jesus made you pregnant after you got married. There was an unmarried pregnant girl in her street and my mum didn't understand why Jesus did that.
UzukiCheverie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:55:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's times like these we ask ourselves...
What Would Jesus Do?
dewymeg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I had a heck of a time understanding how your body knew you'd gotten married. I didn't even realize that boys and girls had different bodies until I was eight.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:11:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
velvetbuds17 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:17:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something sinners do for fun. Guess I'm a sinner.
YaBoyMax ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:23:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ew...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
snarky_answer ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:04:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time when I was like 6 that I lost my shit on my mom while in the car telling her I was gonna call the police for drinking and driving...because she was drinking a soda and driving. Much simpler times.
velvetbuds17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the kids who called the cops on his dad because he ran a red light lol https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2016/06/02/us/boy-massachusetts-red-light-911-call/index.html?client=safari
vikingflika ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:52:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I was at a wedding with my parents. After the bride and groomed kissed at the alter, I turned to my dad and said "And now they will have a baby, right?" and he goes "...yep!"
After that, for a long time I thought babies came from the wedding kiss.
Gonzobot ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 16:05:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except when actual fucking adults have spent their entire life being shielded from the truth and now they're responsible for children that they have no clue where they even came from.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:21:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Michamus ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:45:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My philosophy is "Old enough to ask, old enough to know." No need to go into too much detail, just enough to accurately answer the question asked. "Where do babies come from?" is answered with "Girls have a uterus in their tummy that can grow babies. Babies can be made when an egg is in the uterus and a boy puts his penis in the girls vagina, which is connected to the uterus through a small hole. The boy will then ejaculate inside the girl, which produces sperm. When this sperm makes contact with the egg, it becomes fertilized and the girl becomes pregnant. 36-40 weeks later, the mother gives birth to the baby through her vagina."
How babies are made is about the most complex one there is. Usually at this point, they already understand sex, but maybe haven't learned how exactly babies are made. My oldest asked "What's sex" when she was 5 or 6. I simply said "Sex is when a boy puts his penis in a girls vagina. There's other ways of having sex too, but they all involve two people playing with each other's penises or vaginas" I remember this one, because my 4 or 5 year old son then responded "So, like two boys could play with each other's penises? That's gay."
Stewbodies ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:57:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean he's not wrong.
jctheslp ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom broke out an anatomy book and described everything. She drew pictures with colored pencils and everything. She used the proper terms and I was the most educated kid in my class about sex that school year. She's a doctor, by the way, so that helped.
prancingElephant ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:18:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're probably going to have to define "ejaculate" for that kid
SillyFlyGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:58:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the reason why I support sex-ed in schools.
RealLADude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how it worked in my house. Mostly.
Portlandblazer07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought women just got pregnant at random times. Although looking back I'm not sure what my explanation was for people who were not in a relationship not having kids.
Bears_On_Stilts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, true love's kiss turns you into an ogre. We've all seen award-winning documentary Shrek.
my_name_is_the_DUDE ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 15:22:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you got girls pregnant by them drinking your semon. When I inquired about this in the sex ed class everyone looked at me very weirdly as the teacher explained what actually happened. In my defence it was never explicitly stated that the penis goes into the vagina, like you were supposed to assume that or something.
Anyway that was 4th grade so hopefully everyone there has forgotten about that by now.
DomesticChaos ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:41:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that! Hahaha.
mad_mister_march ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:26:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know how you'll just be minding your business one day when out of nowhere to remember that one really fucking embarassing thing you did back when you were like 5 and all the kids laughed at you? That's because one of those kids is currently thinking about it and smiling because their perfect embarassment free life is amazing.
my_name_is_the_DUDE ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahahahahahahahahahahahah never looked at it that way before lol xdxdxdxd themoreyouknow.gif
I must've heard that circlejerk a million times by now. Fuck off cunt.
StephenshouldbeKing ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:48:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just glad that you had sex ed. I'm only 28 and live in a liberal area and our sex ed was pretty non-existant. IIRC, it was a one day field trip to some sort of museum and then we had the ability to ask questions about sex in health class but of course no one did outside of a few jokers. Sex ed is so vitally important.
chr0nus88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4th grade? Pretty sure South Park had an episode making fun of this. I'd hope the other kids looked at you funny because they had no idea what you're talking about not that it was a dumb question. Didn't think it was real, doesn't sex Ed normally take place in middle school?
acanoforangeslice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, they first started sex ed in 4th grade for me too. It was a basic rundown of puberty and 'this is how babies are made'. Then in middle school we got the full rundown of condoms, STDs, etc. during health class, which all included 'drugs are bad m'kay', how to deal with peer pressure, and a lesson on sexual harassment.
jorrylee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recently read an ask Reddit of doctors answering the oddest questions. One couple wasn't able to get pregnant and on questioning, they didn't know the penis had to enter the vagina. As adults. You are not alone!
PerilousAll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol my sex ed didn't connect those dots either. We could name all the parts of the male and female reproductive system though.
ArtisticDreams ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was lucky in some ways when it came to sex ed, we had a very funny and blunt teacher. The first day of our "sex ed segment" in health class, she had the song "Let's Talk About Sex" - Salt-N-Pepa https://youtu.be/ydrtF45-y-g playing when we all walked into class.
jmalbo35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend who thought the exact same thing, except he didn't understand that semen and pee were different things, given where they came from. He made it up to middle school thinking that pregnancy came from drinking pee.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:41:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fucking 6th grade I thought babies came at random and you couldn't decide when you would have them or how many you'd have.
Flipflop_Ninjasaur ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:03:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 4th grade, I didn't know what "horny" meant and some kid in the lunch line said "Honk if you're horny!" and I was the only one to say honk.
Thought it was just a joke referring to car horns...
ScurrilousSalamander ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:52:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember how old I was, 8 maybe 9?, and I also didn't know what "horny" meant. I went around for like a week, pulling my pants up to my belly button, trying to imitate Steve Urkel and saying "I'm horny!" Not a single person ever corrected me, even the adults who heard me say it over and over again. :/
xxruruxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:06:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, me too. Except I thought it meant angry or pissy like a horned lizard. (idk, they looked angry to me.)
PurpleDancer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:34:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god for google. We just had to pretend we knew shit in my day
Terribuddhist ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:44:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that the phrase "making out" meant sex. So I was horrified when a girl in the lunch line announced that she saw her sister and her boyfriend making out.
Moglorosh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:39:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 6th grade I thought "orgy" was just short for "orgasm". This may have led to an embarrassing conversation.
Fiyero109 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL true love's kiss! http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnkq4igLWN1qjt9p1o1_500.gif
actual_factual_bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking of this
idosillythings ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:27:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It always kind of amazes me how brash some people can be. Like making a scene asking for a blowjob.
I even saw that in high school. Some kid who got held back a grade and was a grade A asshole sat in the bleachers behind me at a basketball game yelling at some girl next to him that he wanted a blow job that night and she should give it to him.
4MyEyezOnly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In sex ed once I asked my teacher what Oral sex was. The class laughed, and the teacher just didn't answer me.
crwlngkngsnk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:15:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitty teacher. We had a nurse tell us (just the boys, sex ed split by gender) that masturbation was massaging the penis to induce a wet dream. Rubbed my dick before going to bed. Did not work.
4MyEyezOnly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahaha
KingoftheStream ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More importantly, how did the kid react AFTER you blew air on him? btw, that's hilarious.
xxruruxx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:42:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He looked pretty rekt because everyone was staring. He stammered, "tha-that's, that's not what a blow job is!" and ran away.
JoDoc1995 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeeves was the butler we all had whose soul purpose was to answer our questions.
cantzme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that a blowjob had to do with bubble gum and the belly button.
Rioraku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if you're into that, it can.
macnsleaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm crying!!! True love's kiss ๐๐
errieshine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 3rd grade or so, my grandma had a bunch of baby dolls and I was looking at them and my cousin told me "if you play with baby dolls too much, you'll have a real baby". I was pretty confused and nervous for a while.
Strikedestiny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'The hell is a Jeeves?
ThunderChaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know Ask.com?
Well before it was Ask.com it was AskJeeves. It was still as garbage as Ask.com is today.
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ey bby u want sum tru luv kis
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, my buddy once told me about his first time getting oral. His g/f at the time had only seen pictures and she decided to give him one for his birthday (This was Highschool).
She got his pants off and then went down on him and didn't move. Just had him in her mouth. He said he was confused. It wasn't until after they dated that she found out there is movement required and a pic isn't an accurate representation.
They hooked up again a few years later and she gave him a proper bj.
shitheadawardnominee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My much younger sister-in-law thought that having sex always resulted in pregnancy.
She thought my mother and father-in-law only had sex three times and that my wife and I had never had sex.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I member
ScarletCaptain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically my parents made me watch the show with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie long before we had internet access, so I thought the search engine naming was clever.
HeartlessGrinch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fourth grade, it was common knowledge amongst my group of friends that a cesarean section was the result of babies conceived via oral sex. First time I heard that I was blown away.
seeingeyegod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my mom telling me when I was like 5 that men get women pregnant by "hugging them". I knew sperm existed, so I started imagining how sperm must come out through your pores and travel through the little holes in your shirt and clothes and then burrow through the womans clothes to get to her skin, and was like shit i better not hug any girls in kindergarden.
Electroniclog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young, I always imagined a blow job like someone trying to blow out candles on a birthday cake, but a dick instead. I didn't discover the appeal until much later.
Dimanovic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My exwife and I married when she was 20. She thought intercourse was done with the whole package... The beans and frank all go inside.
mindctrlpankak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to tell a 19 year old the other day what ask jeeves was because it came up in conversation.
I'm 25.
dasbarti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought oral sex was just talking dirty
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's probably the most reasonable one that's ended up on my inbox. Someone else said something about chewing gum in a belly button lmao
splashmob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a kid in my sixth grade class who pronounced Jeeves "Jee-Vees." So our teacher asked him how he knew some obscure fact and he bursts out "I ASKED JEEVEES!" It was pretty funny.
warpus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I was a refugee in West Germany for a couple years and in grade 5 or 6 they showed us a fully explicit video of a guy fucking a girl. It wasn't a porn, it was created for the educational market, you could tell by the production values, but yeah, it was pretty explicit. Anyway, we all knew what sex was in that class/school/country.
psilokan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:07:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure it wasn't a scene from Monty Python?
Sabrielle24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just here to tell you I remember Ask Jeeves, and I remember naming the butler in the Tomb Raider game Jeeves while we locked him in the freezer.
gkiltz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never heard of it till I got to middle school either!
LoreChief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL grew up in a very rural part of the Philippines. She was also under the impression that kissing = pregnancy, and clear up until she was a young adult. The reasoning was that the movies they saw always showed "true loves first kiss, fade out screen transition, some time passed and now the woman had a baby" - so it seemed like kissing = baby.
xxruruxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was me in 5th grade and that was my exact reasoning. I even got in a heated argument with a friend who informed me that babies came from "sex". I, having no idea what that was, asked the teacher to settle it for us. She told me to ask my parents. I asked my mom and she matter-of-factly replied "Babies come from mommies, duh".
velvetbuds17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I totally forgot about Ask Jeeves! Thanks for the nostalgic reminder:)
ilpalazzo3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought babies came from mixing mens' and women's urine, and that was why it was so important to flush the toilet and why we had separate toilets at school.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*announcement on PA:
Attention all students! Attention all students. One of you left a baby in the toilet. Please come to the office after class to retrieve your toilet baby. Moving on. The canned food drive is tomorrow. Please drop off your cans in the auditorium tomorrow morning, we have a toilet baby that may need your assistance.
ZS_Duster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a little kid some sort of commercial popped up on TV for an episode about a sex scandal where some woman supposedly had sex over with over 300 men. The camera cut to her saying that she bit off more than she could chew, and from then on until I was told otherwise I thought that sex literally required biting a chunk out of your lover and eating it in order to take their essence and have a baby
RaChernobyl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dont feel bad. My best friend in the whole world thought when you sucked a dick, you really sucked a dick.
She sucked on that poor guys unit like she was siphoning gas out of a Buick. Needless to say, it didn't go well, and (shocker!) he never called her again.
And were so old, this was before the internet and we Couldn't Ask Jeeves!
RiotingMoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
weeps I miss jeeves, he was so nice and dapper
ButtsexEurope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved Ask Jeeves. I would ask the stupidest shit and see what came up. Oh, 90s internet. It was a wonderful time.
BS_TheGreat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wish a girl would blow air on me :(
JenniferMcKay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to explain what a blow job was to one of my best friends. She knew what oral sex was, had sex ed down okay, but somehow had managed to remain sheltered from any and all slang.
We were in college.
Frontdesklady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved ask Jeeves!
Mackadal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of the opposite. I knew what a blowjob was from a young age from TV, but in grade 7 sex ed I still thought "oral sex" was French kissing. I also knew what a "hooker" was before I knew the word "prostitute".
cary1994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me, I used to think babies are conceived when a man and a woman sleep in the same bed holding hands. Right up until fifth grade. I grew up in Hong Kong and South Korea, and while I did get some rudimentary sex ed, the teachers would only ever talk/show videos about how the sperm swims toward the egg and fertilizes it. There was no one to teach me about how sperm actually gets inside the vagina, so I just assumed it somehow swims across the bed sheets into the lady parts. That is, until I discovered the wonderful world of internet porn. I was oddly aroused and very confused for a while, until a few months later it finally clicked.
the_real_grinningdog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:41:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is true, but it's from a penis... inside a vagina.
scatteringlargesse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you went back and gave that kid a proper blowjob once you learnt your mistake?
Frustration-96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't think clueless anime girls existed in real life, yet here you are.
mcdormjw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, you had Google when you were in the 5th grade?
chocoboat ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google has been the #1 search engine for 16 1/2 years now. There are people posting on Reddit right now who weren't born yet when Google became a household name.
SuperciliousSnow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 17 and I literally don't remember ever not having google and the internet. I was using PowerPoint when I was in 1st grade. It boggles my mind that a lot of people not too much older than me grew up without those resources.
jorrylee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You never knew the struggle... And then there was dial up. Slow but it was internet! Very few photos on the internet, but that was okay because hard drives were only 100mb in 1993 (in average households). I remember the computer tech coming over and explaining soon we'll get internet that is always on, you never have to dial in! And it'll have its own plug! Great times!
mad_mister_march ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:29:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or worse, when the internet was down or you couldn't find the resources, you had to look in actual books! Made of paper! No search function in those puppies. And that's assuming the library still had copies on the shelves.
Thank god for the digital age. The pre-google world can fuck off.
TupperwareMagic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Best we could do was use the index in the back of an encyclopedia, if our school had a recent enough copy to include the information we were researching. That's if the subject was even something an encyclopedia would cover! And there were no links to related topics so you could get full context. You had to trace it all back on your own.
I remember in middle school when internet was showing up in school, we had to take turns at the computer, and the information on the web was so limited compared to now.
Wikipedia is trashed a lot, but I've seriously learned so much on random trips down the Wikipedia rabbit hole.
mad_mister_march ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:31:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like a good old wiki-walk. Start on a relevant political topic and end up learning how toothpaste is made.
chocoboat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get nostalgic for the simple times in the past occasionally. I caught the tail end of the times where there were only 5 TV channels which rarely had anything on, and no other form of entertainment at home other than reading, so people were always going out to do something and socialize. Crowds of people just hanging out at the mall because it's better than sitting at home, outdoor basketball courts and tennis courts always in use... now it seems like everyone stays inside.
But then I remember research papers at libraries and having to spend hours finding books with relevant information, and collecting their bibliography information. Not knowing how the hell to get anywhere that you haven't been to before. How I spent more time looking for things to do than actually doing them. Having to drive rented movies back to the store and pay late fees on them.
The 80s were a good time to be a kid, but it would be pretty damn hard to go live like that again after being used to all of the modern conveniences.
chocoboat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny how that works. It seems weird to me that younger people grow up without having any concept of a world without the internet, where you called someone and just hoped they happened to be at home at the time, and where you typed things up on typewriters.
But it seems totally normal that I grew up with video games and the ability to rent movies, and seems so strange that people not much older than me grew up in a world where if you missed seeing a movie in theaters you never got another chance to see it.
I feel like I understand what it was like to live in the 1800s better than I understand what it was like to live in the 60s or 70s. I also wonder what it's like growing up in the modern world of social media... I had so many friends I lost touch with when they went to a different middle school or high school from me... and even a few friends who went to the same school but we stopped being in any of the same classes.
Without seeing each other, we lost touch and stopped being friends. In today's world, we'd be hanging out online playing Xbox Live after school, sharing photos on social media, and even if we stopped being good friends I'd never totally lose touch with them entirely (at least that's how I imagine it).
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:42:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google was founded in 1998. He/she could possibly be 29 or 30 now
Maurno ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here it is, the stupidest question in this thread
PaintItPurple ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The inexorable march of time is the one thing I can never blame people for not grasping. Intuitively, it doesn't seem like the present could possibly be here already.
xxruruxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The blowjob thing was actually a year or two later (my sex ed didn't cover oral sex, for some reason).
It was probably more like ask jeeves or yahoo or something.
SwedishCocktail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew about oral sex when boys in my grade would do that motion with their hands and mouth as a joke to each other. It was then I came to know the name of the act my neighbor did to me when I was 5.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry :(
SwedishCocktail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok! But only he was already dead. He died at 21 due to a robbery. Otherwise, I wouldn't know how to handle it seeing him around. Thank you!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to believe the same thing too, but when I was in kindergarten.
nyxiegirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought babies women somehow got impregnated through their belly buttons for the majority of my childhood. At least your theory is vaguely sexual.
buffoonery4U ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Googled"? Crap, we had to use actual books to find this shit out. Luckily, my parents had a copy of "Everything you always wanted to know about sex, but was afraid to ask". I'd sneak it into my bedroom at night to read about all kinds of new and scary stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you punched that kid in the face the next day.
xxruruxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't have to, he was pretty rekt and avoided me like the plague, so that was nice. I don't think we ever talked again. I was in the middle school version of honor classes, so I don't think we even had classes together anymore.
QuabityAshwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a boy asked me if I was a virgin when I was in like 4th or 5th grade. It sounded like a really lame thing, and I liked to think I was pretty tough, so I scoffed and said no.
To be clear, I was definitely a virgin at that time.
xxruruxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asked me in 4th grade if I've had an orgasm before. I thought he meant, "organism" and I told him yes because I had a cat.
Neatly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"yeah of course. my parents gave me an orgasm on my birthday"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some kid asked me while I was playing cruzing USA at Pizza Hut if I knew what a blow job was, I didn't but told him I did. I then asked my uncle and he told me.
Ramadillo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, they had Google when you were a kid!?!
Tesatire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know what 69 was and couldn't understand why everyone was acting really stupid every time someone said it. Once of the guys was forced to show me (through hand illustration) how it worked. I rolled my eyes and told everyone they were acting like children and that if they can't talk about it like adults then they shouldn't be doing it.
In my defense, I was raised in private religious schools and up until that year was also a pretty squeaky clean goody two-shoes.
laxing22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing we made it as far as we did without google.
Zalminen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I feel old.
missy070203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned what a blow job was in 6th grade during the Clinton sex scandal. Ask Jeeves wasn't a thing yet and yahoo sucked.
dbutler911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 25 so I'm not old but I think it's crazy you were able to Google that at that age. We had to have intense conversations with our friends to find shit like that out. Honestly I think it was better that way
Hates_escalators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I'm a fogie because I know who Jeeves was.
Blue_Moon_Rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than what I did. Third grade, some of the boys accused me of blow jobs. Later that night my family is in a crowded Tim Hortons when I choose that moment to ask (loudly, as third graders are wont to) "MOMMY, WHATS A BLOW JOB?" Just like that the packed coffee shop was as silent as a tomb as everyone craned forward to see what my sputtering mother's response would be.
Sadly for them it ended with mom cancelling her order in embarrassment and shuffling my sister and I out the door.
lastlatvian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the term jovial!
advertentlyvertical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeeves must have been appalled.
harmonyparkinglot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned about oral sex in 5th grade, after hearing the song Take a Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed and then relentlessly questioning my mom about what giving head meant.
And for all that, I'm 24 and still don't understand the lyric that caused all the questions.
RickDickRichard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair it does involve a pair of lips
store_yourself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When the whole Bill Clinton getting his dick sucked thing was all over the tv, my mom asked if I knew what oral sex was and I said, "It's when you kiss with tongues." I was 8. Didn't find out what it was until I was 11.
godless-life ยท 6542 points ยท Posted at 13:26:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, if you say AIDS 10 times in a row you get Herpes.
Slightmeatsweats ยท 2144 points ยท Posted at 13:35:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I guess it could be worse
StonedSoldier830 ยท 2928 points ยท Posted at 14:32:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then you get AIDS
chaosPudding123 ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 14:47:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
at least you don't get cancer
ElderlyPowerUser ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 15:06:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can if you say Herpes 10 times.
maybeapun ยท 240 points ยท Posted at 15:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herpes is the gateway STD.
jarious ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:45:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this word, it should be taboo
quaybored ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:43:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you say taboo 10 times, you get hemorrhoids
hikiri ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:07:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I said Taboo 10 times and I got Boggle.
pookylulu1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought your arms break?
theonewhoknockwurst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the?
jarious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gateway, if there's not a gateway, STD's can't enter.
DiabloConQueso ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol' herp-a-lerps, as we like to call it.
MasterBaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really should just ban Herpes already.
Mystery--Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This feels like some kind of referential humor.
Shumatsuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any std that leaves open wounds or sores is a gateway std. They make it easier to get more!
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:58:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is giving me cancer
fizar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oral cancer.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:28:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you can get cancer just from talking about it?
Guernsey_mike ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:12:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herpes 10 times
wangkerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck sake now I've got cancer of the herpes.
Henkersjunge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bloody Herpes
Bloody Herpes
Bloody Herpes
orangey10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And THEN you'll blow up!
combakovich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, AIDS does cause cancer :(
popeyoni ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:45:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The gay AIDS or the vagina AIDS?
IASIP reference, before anyone freaks out
funktion ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:12:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a vagina man
KingoftheStream ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:25:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally read that as: "I'm a vagina, man." Had a good chuckle at work.
mafidufa ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:59:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't you heard commas aren't real anymore?
KingoftheStream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah shit you are right what was I thinking
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're alternatively real.
scoobysnaxxx ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:22:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then you blow up!
EliGranger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:35:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My thighs?
PM_ME_ANIME_FUTA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I remember my first krabby patty...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:50:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herpes is a gateway STD.
cuteintern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But then I could lose a bunch of weight!
KingdomKi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/woRRyQWWA0s?t=1m42s
MacheteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's worse.
Generic-username427 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it
fromthesaveroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herpes: the gateway STD
zaxomophone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh :(
spoonfair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then you die
mysoldierswife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my husband?
TheCoolOnesGotTaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonasyphaherpelaids
Feral_Snek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's good.
Bigworm88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if you already have AIDS? Does it go away?
duvakiin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then you blow up
Youreprobablygay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh
buttersauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then you explode.
beardedkryptonite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
full blown aids
ultrachessmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I signed in just to upvote this thread.
Searingwings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy it got worse
CasnoGaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then you blow up!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you won't die from AIDS, the herpes will get you.
KassellTheArgonian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you positive about that?
kguenett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HERPAIDS
RainaDPP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least it's not herpesyphillaids.
aiiye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HIV Aladeen
Alkalilee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'll go to your hips! And then you'll get aids!
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it was worse
njstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit if those numbers are your birthday we are b-day buddies.
StonedSoldier830 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is not
LordofShit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, at least it's not raining!
StonedSoldier830 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's a blizzard.
TechnoRedneck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and then you get super AIDS
psychicowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then after you get super aids
Netzapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hersylphylhivorrhea
NoFriends_IWonderWhy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awh, shit, the AIDS box!
Kitski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if I say "Bloody Mary", I get my period!
FrenchTheLlama ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:19:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. She could have been expelled.
ElephantAirplane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then your thighs explode
TGriff97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could be stabbed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stabbed? It takes a second! Crucifixion lasts hours; it's a slow, horrible death.
Vancha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They could've said Herpes 10 times in a row...
nandrioff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could get super AIDS
you_got_fragged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least I don't have alzheimers
mildly_amusing_goat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Write SAID 12 times in a row for equal effect.
giants4210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worse? How could it be worse? Jahova Jahova Jahova Jahova!
Multiphantom123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you could get super AIDS. A teaspoon of that in your butt and you'll be dead in three years.
KryptoniteDong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, space aids
TowerCrisis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't say super aids 10 times in a row.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesh, it's called AIDS.
iq911506 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could get leproghanaherpasyphalaids
pathostrain ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:17:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Say AIDS 3 times in a bathroom mirror in the dark, then Freddy Mercury will fuck you.
drdeadringer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:09:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Charlie Sheen.
pathostrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he have HIV?
drdeadringer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
caanthedalek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Freddy Mercury will fuck Charlie Sheen
patthpapong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
das hawt
Dirkinator ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:20:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but if you hear someone say it you get hearing AIDS
lxpnh98_2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:34:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my favorite type of AIDS. Next is the vagina AIDS, then the needles AIDS, and last comes the gay AIDS.
Dirkinator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remember that South Park where Jarrod wanted to give all the kids AIDS? At first it was funny because he really meant personal assistants. But now it's less funny because there's a good chance he's given some kids actual AIDS
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:20:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in churches in the middle of mass.
godless-life ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:14:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With your pants down.
justaddbooze ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:52:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS ... Not falling for that one.
fcbRNkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody has AIDS!
fcbRNkat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:45:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What, like a loyalty card? Do they hole punch it every time?
PMmeYOURnudesGIRL_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If your ass is the card, then yes, they hold punch every time.
fcbRNkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didnt think you could get HIV from a fist
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't like two thirds of the entire planet already have herpes?
AlternativeJosh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herpes, like diamonds, are forever.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in front of the bathroom mirror with the lights off though... Right?!?!?!?
BigDisk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, curveball!
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i thoght it was gonorrhoea you got
xxruruxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that one's curable so you're in luck.
ronthat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But only if you're standing in front of a mirror, in the dark, with your genitals out.
bookon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sexually Transmitted Beetlejuice!
klodwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught it works on Beetlejuice rules. Say it three times, and BAM!
Chastain86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the exceptionally deadly Candyman strain of Herpes.
Cavewoman22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gives a new meaning to Beetlejuice.
StephenshouldbeKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How positive are you this is true? Are you HIV positive?
(Thx SP)
RedEyesBigSmile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS
AParable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herpes achieved!
Level 2: START!
linuxphoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, odds are you already have it.
greenrangerguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, if you sing the song from Team America, "everyone has AIDS, AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!"
Stranger-Thingies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Strangely, the same thing is wont to happen should you say Beetlejuice three times.
TMYK
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aka 90s STD education.
Source: previously gen Y millennial (me)
Valkyrie21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's if you say it in front of a mirror.
IllBePirateKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SDIA 10 times and i get cured?
JInxIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if you don't tell 5 friends before midnight it'll get your crush.
tredontho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I was wondering how my wife got it.
slurp_derp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biggie smalls, Biggie smalls, Biggie smalls
ff2a5bfae7812d9cb997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a GTA cheat code
Talmaska ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard if you watch "Modern Family" you get HIV. Same with "Will & Grace"
Kakarot_faps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then biggie pops out and shoots you
tgamm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at the doctor so I tried it just to see if it worked and sure enough it gave me herpes. I know it wasn't that $15 hooker last night because she swore she was clean
illmaticStillmatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you get 9 AIDS you get the 10th one free!
KurtisMayfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought but was three times!! The movies have led me astray.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have guessed hearing aids
GreatNorthWeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herpetitus Siphilaids, actually.
lastpieceofpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS..........AIDS............
FUCK!
Galveira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Rich Evans.
2016nsfwaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's not even mention the Bloody Mary epidemic of '09
DoWnhillll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Jared Fogal
jim10040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get her to what???
Nubrication ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god it wasn't full blown cooties.
here4dafreefoodnbeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, just the herpes trying to disprove this!
d_b_cooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit Rich Evans is right screwed
istabbedmyleg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, beetleAIDS
josh_the_misanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I have the full blown aids song in my head, specifically the end part where he says it like 15 times really fast.
snbrd512 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no. It's three times into a mirror, and then Freddie mercury comes and kills you
spunkychickpea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. I think I might have triple herpes.
airjedi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to do it in front of the bathroom mirror with the lights off though
DelfonicSonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you say it into a mirror.
B789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP Team America puppets.
jontss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had kids that took the same sex ed classes as me that were convinced if you took blood from one part of your body and put it in another it mixes together and creates AIDS. I have no idea where they got this idea.
Rezzone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary
FUCK I got my period.
ahfdjczbcj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you definitely can get hearing aids if some one is screaming aids to you.
MilitantSheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean Gary from Team America has the super herp?
brickau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That must be a really bad one. You only have to say Beetlejuice 3 times to get him and he never goes away.
dfn85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, no. You have to lock yourself in the bathroom, turn off the lights, and say Gonorrhea into the mirror 3 times.
Sharknado_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has AIDS! AIDS! AIDS! AIDS! AIDS AIDS AIDS! AIDS AIDS AIDS!
marlow41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The people who sang that song for Team America must look like they went through a cheese grater.
jaredw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew Beetlejuice's dick looked weird
mattmck90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
...now what?
reallycoolboyfriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS
alpecin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People on the internet say it depends on accent and pronunciation
Kataclysm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you do it in a dark bathroom while looking in the mirror, you get gonasyphaherpalaids.
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS..
shit, a cold sore.
Mpuls37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just imagining the voice actors behind Team America going to the doctor after a few weeks, confused as hell why they all had Herpes, and the doctor being like "Have you said AIDS 10 times quickly recently?"
"Well you see doc, there's this movie we're working on..."
travelhippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but only if you say it while holding a candle and looking into a mirror in the dark.
Willisshortforbill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda like the movie Beetlejuice. Say Beetlejuice three times and Beetlejuice shows up.
...
Fuck.
Trenchyjj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP Rich Evans
comfortxcute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary.
OGNikolaister23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS
I'll let you guys know how it goes
cormacot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biggie smalls biggie smalls biggie smalls
Bears_On_Stilts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remember that stupid elementary school meme/game where saying the word "gay" meant you were gay?
"Ha! You just said gay! That means you're gay!"
"But you just said it twice!"
"Said what?"
"Gay!"
"Haha, you said gay AGAIN, gaywad!"
japad12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did this and need a doctor
Tipsy_chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/5yC7HwPh6Es?t=17s
slightlyamused1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You probably already have herpes
Energy_Focus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS
bacon__sandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS...
Does anyone else's dick burn?
DexterVane ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:23:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/oCycgmqkRAA?t=11s
nagol93 ยท 635 points ยท Posted at 14:41:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In her defense the public sex edd classes are typically terrible, as they avoid a LOT of topics because its 'Taboo'.
For a time I (and many others) thought you could get an STD from masturbating.
timesuck897 ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 15:18:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you shave and jerk it with a hand that has warts on it, you can give yourself warts on your junk.
nagol93 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:20:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing I dont use my hands!
I have a wart on my hand :(
DarthDonutwizard ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:41:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you use? Am I speaking to Professor X?
nagol93 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:49:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, its Wolverine.
I thrust into a blanket/pillow.
ChocolateGautama3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're being serious then don't do that, prone masturbation can cause permanent loss of sensitivity.It may make it impossible to finish during sex.
nagol93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:11:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IDK about that. Ive done it that way over 6,000 times, to completion. And its still very sensitive. I can still achieve climax doing it the normal way (It just feels a bit weird at this point).
At what point will the sensitivity drop? Because 6,000 times hasnt done it.
(Yes, I counted)
craigboyce ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:19:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6,001.
nagol93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Broke that this morning. Still sensitive.
JangSaverem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look, this is the same person who gets off to everything and anything. Claims to enjoy it all. Alllllllllllll
Edit...I went too deep. This dude is crazy
tylerchu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"prone masturbation"? As in masturbating while prone? As in missionary-style humping something? How is that any different than jerking it on your back? Or do you mean frequent masturbation?
ChocolateGautama3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you google just Prone masturbation it should come up, also goes by the name Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome but that's controversial. I used to do it as a young kid and it affected the way I get off.
tylerchu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/skeptic/comments/179orw/traumatic_masturbatory_syndrome_the_dangers_of/
throwaway_newagain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So do you let your mother do it?
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that honor is reserved for OP's mom.
Dreams-Of-HermaMora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AFAIK most types of HPV that create warts on the hands or feet are different than the types of HPV that create warts on genitalia. So really unlikely that you'll give yourself genital warts just because you have them on your hands.
sea_of_teaaa ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:52:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was also fairly sheltered and I thought masturbating meant playing by yourself and I also didn't know it was something girls could do until I was maybe 17 or 18. I literally thought it was only something young boys did.
EDIT: I thought that's what it meant in elementary school, then when I found out the actual definition I still thought it was only physically possible for boys to do it and that only younger boys did it because they didn't know any better. As though it were an accidental occurrence. I did not know people did it on purpose.
siegewolf ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay. A girl I dated in high school strongly argued that the clitoris didn't exist because she didn't learn about it in sex ed at her all girls school.
sea_of_teaaa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I feel less alone! I didn't even go to an all girls or religious school (just regular ol' public school).
siegewolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just couldn't help but mention that part because it's so funny that an all girls school fucked up female anatomy.
sea_of_teaaa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:34:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it's basically part of your leg, it's just skin, who cares right? (yes that is very funny)
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, all boys school here. The all girls school basically got sex education through our banter. Also because they were in our theater program.
MelissaOfTroy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:11:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that Paul Rubens got arrested for "playing with himself" in a movie theater and for years I assumed he was arrested for playing with GI Joes or something too loudly.
sea_of_teaaa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:32:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this!
nagol93 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:56:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in college before I knew what a period really was (Im male). I just thought it was like peeing, but with blood. And that it only lasted for a few hours.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:54:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally did not know periods even were a thing until I was 22 and a couple months into a relationship with my current wife.
I had no idea what tampons were. Grew up with no sisters and the topic just never came up once my entire life until my girlfriend was comfortable enough to ask me to buy one and I said "I don't know what that is"
nagol93 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:59:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am the oldest child and my sister is 6 years younger then me. So I left for college before she started. I knew what a tampon was and what it was used for. I just thought you only needed one, and it was over in a hour or so.
In college I thought this girl was weird because it lasted a week for her, and she went through tampons like I go through Mtn Dew.
Faris_rulez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait. Period lasts for a week? I thought.. nvm
seeashbashrun ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:10:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine last for 4-6 weeks, 1-2 weeks between.
A lot of women have messed up periods, but get treated like it's normal. It's not normal '-_-.
Faris_rulez ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:14:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean women are constantly bleeding out of their vagina like 75% of the time? What bleeding rate are we looking at here? Like a teaspoon per day or what? I have so many questions
seeashbashrun ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:49:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some are, yes. I have endometriosis and so my lining in my uterus (the blood stuff that sheds) just keeps growing. Usually I am on a hormone that prevents this, because I was needing yearly surgeries from the damage the endometrium was doing, but a dumbass nurse decided to take me off that hormone due to 'stroke risks' (ignoring that diffusive type endo can kill women).
So, off my awesome hormones that prevent this mess? It's hard to quantify with measurements, as I use different 'methods' to catch it, and it is especially heavy the first couple weeks.
On average, according to measures of tampons, at least 30mls per day (1/8 a cup, or 6 teaspoons). I have woken up, after thinking my period was over, and found a grisly murder scene in my bed. On heavier days, I'd say a 1/4 cup, but it's hard to know.
Part of the problem is, in a healthy woman, the lining builds up over weeks before being shed. It is usually thicker than blood. But in women like me, it is building while being shed. In the middle of my period, it comes out and looks very much like a bleeding wound. E.g., one doctor once accidentally tore my uterus (embedded device) and I thought I had started a period, when I actually was bleeding/hemorrhaging. A healthy woman should not make that sort of mistake! Anyhow, mine comes out more old/clotted/heavy early on, and is harder to measure, but the middle is very much like what a bleeding vagina might appear like.
Faris_rulez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:55:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Thank you for the replies. These are so complicated. I'm sort of glad I have a penis. (No offense)
seeashbashrun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha ha, no prob. I do a lot of work for endometriosis awareness, so I am used to answering a lot of questions about women's health. It's unfortunately quite common, but education is awful so most don't know they have it. I figure informing women and men is the best way to improve diagnosis rates.
And no offense taken. I'm glad I am a woman, and endometriosis is an absolute bitch. Periods in general suck. So I get why someone would never want them!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:36:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did you manage to avoid the womens aisle at every grocery/drug store in the world for 22 years? You weren't curious? how old are you now?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a basement dweller who's mom did all his shopping for him until I turned about 22 and met a girl who then took over mother duties for her. So I never really go shopping beyond going to pick up like one or two things on rare occasions.
And I'm 27 now and know everything there is to know about women's hygiene these days.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was that weird kid in high school who learned and remembered everything about health class. I knew more about women's hygiene than anyone who isnt a doctor or a woman should now.
still do. there are still women out who think they pee from their vaginas.
sarcasticmsem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I seem to recall some situation that can lead to pooping from your vagina but I am aware it is not normal.
BoonieAsh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 16 I argued with my mother because she thought you peed from your vagina. She had three kids mind you. Thankfully my older brother heard our convo and corrected her.
deceasedhusband ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't have a mom either?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but we didn't share a bathroom and she didn't talk about her periods with her son lol...
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister was older. So between getting her car and borrowing a laptop bag from here I know way too much. Sitting in college pulling out tampons, Midol and chapstick. My female friends just started laughing at me.
sea_of_teaaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds pretty metal!
nagol93 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:38:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna join my band? Its called "Peeing Blood"
sea_of_teaaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but I think we need to make sure our start-up budget allows for free tarps in the splash zone at our live shows.
coopiecoop ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:19:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
unfortunately I assume there are also not that few adults out there that (still) believe that.
sea_of_teaaa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:33:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha well for me it was mostly because I thought it wasn't possible to masturbate if you didn't have a penis, but yeah, sadly I think you're right.
deceasedhusband ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:05:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow really? It's super common for little kids of both gender to masturbate. Your parents never had to teach you appropriate "private time" habits?
sea_of_teaaa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:36:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope! Single parent, non religious, the extent of her health/sex ed advice was:
Her: sex is bad don't do it.
Me: what's sex?
Her: not for you.
edit: spaces
deceasedhusband ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But hands wander and biology kicks in regardless of what you're told.
DigNitty ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 15:39:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see how some parents want their kids to believe that. Not my style, but they're the parents. It doesn't work for the same reason DARE didn't. Kids learn marijuana and heroine will kill you. Then they smoke some weed and it's fine so heroine must be similar.
acanoforangeslice ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:22:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The other big reason DARE didn't work is because it emphasized 'everyone else is doing drugs'. Sure, they went on to say that didn't mean you should too, but the message a lot of kids got from that is omg everyone else is doing drugs.
rd1970 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a shame to hear. DARE is a good program when it's run by the right people, but I think in some areas it's operated by people who are either incredibly uneducated on the topic or have an agenda.
Where I live it is (or was) run by people who killed their friends drunk driving, recovering heroin addicts, etc. These guys knew what they were talking about and didn't give a shit if kids were smoking weed. If anything, they themselves were probably subjected to drug programs that equated marijuana and heroin.
siegewolf ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:17:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't pay much attention in dare then. Almost all their shit was based around those ideas. It was run similarly to all the other "just say no" bullshit of the day. They used to always say weed would ruin your life and make you a horrible piece of shit.
rd1970 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:15:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..or, you know, I did - and the program was run differently at different times, in different regions, with different volunteers...
The DARE program we were involved with (in Canada, by the way) spent a few minutes explaining what marijuana was, remained essentially neutral on the topic - and that's it. They spent the bulk of their time addressing driving while drunk - which is/was a far greater issue in my region than drug abuse.
theoreticaldickjokes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:18:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I distinctly remember my DARE classes focusing a lot on gang violence. It was an issue in my area, so policemen would talk to us about gang recruitment and choosing better friends.
Of course there were lessons on drugs, but a lot of it was about addiction as an illness. We talked a little about weed, but the big monster was Crack.
And we did activities on not giving into peer pressure. It was all kind of hokey, but it wasn't just "drugs are bad, mmk?"
fallofshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned from our DARE officer that smoking cigarettes was just as addicting as heroine. Not knowing any better, I believed them, and ended up telling my mom, who smokes. She was pissed that they would compare heroine and cigarettes.
sacredblasphemies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*heroin
Erstezeitwar ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The public schools in my area have excellent sex Ed classes that are thorough and generally well-done. Then again I'm not in the South, so...
nagol93 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:54:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither was I.
Its because there is no nationwide standardization for education, so individual counties can make their curriculum mostly any way they see fit.
Erstezeitwar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:06:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is quite the problem, isn't it?
GlyphGryph ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:19:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a problem for the people who would prefer to nationalize abstinence only, too. The idea that the people who want the better option might not always be the ones pushing the "national" standard isn't just theoretical anymore, after all.
nagol93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems so
Kakarot_faps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine it's a problem in some places and great in others
monkeyman427 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I didn't have sex ed in school. I knew one guy who thought he couldn't get his girlfriend pregnant because he drank enough mountain dew to lower his sperm count.
blacklite911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There will never be a national standard for education because 1. No one would agree as to what the standard would be and 2. Half of congress believes in states rights above all, which in some respect is ok considering that no one would be able to agree on it. Organizing 300M people's will on a single issue is pretty tough.
Vivirmos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm, am in south, didn't even have a sex ed class, yet knew more about sex when i left high school than some others in this thread, the twist here being i was still a virgin
yorkie_spaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel so bad for students who get no to little sex ed. In college I found out that some of my friends thought women peed out of their vaginas. (Side note, that is actually possible, but is a rare congenital abnormality).
flyingwind66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought my sex ed classes were informative and useful... we had a few in 5th grade talking about puberty, what to expect from periods, different types of pads and tampons and how to use them. In 7th grade we talked about sex, how it works, methods of birth control and how effective they are, where to go if you need birth control, and had an anonymous question and answer section at the end where we wrote our questions and the sex ed instructor answered ... in grade 8 they talked about staying safe at parties, what to do if you think you've been assaulted etc.
I also grew up in BC, Canada, land of liberal hippies though...
deceasedhusband ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad employed the sex ed tactic of "if they're old enough to ask about it then they're old enough to learn about it" and thus I began learning about sex at 3 years old when my mom was pregnant again. I remember multiple times giving impromptu sex ed lessons in elementary school because none of the other kids knew anything about it. In hindsight this is also why my dad taught me about sex. He didn't want me learning about it second hand from another 8 year old.
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for your dad!
It must be annoying when a kid starts the rumor of "Johnny said you get pregnant from hugging. Look at Ms.Teacherlady, she hugs people all the time and she got pregnant". Then your kid believes that.
KremitTheForg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. I'd better get tested. I might have all of them by now.
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0.0 I will never look at Kermit memes the same way again
theoreticaldickjokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the 6th grade I got a bladder infection. I thought that because I had touched my vagina earlier and now I had a fever and it burned when I peed, that I had somehow contracted AIDS.
I thought it was because God was punishing me. Living in the bible belt is awful.
Chunch0203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And many others"
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get it? Did I spell 'others' wrong again?
charlietango13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex Training by Diddling!
laxing22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think some religions still infer that
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do they?
Its amazing how something as necessary and natural, has acquired such a taboo around it.
(im referring to sex, not masturbation)
laxing22 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look into magic underpants
fearlessandinventive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you could get AIDS from just having gay sex. Like...two virgins could have sex & bam, AIDS.
nagol93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surprisingly the AIDS lessons I had were very good and accurate. They even showed us cartoons about HIV.
fearlessandinventive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a Catholic school in the late 80s/early 90s. They hardly wanted to admit gay people existed let alone give us accurate information.
Foxkilt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What else are you suppose to do? Talk about it and put everyone at risk?
siegewolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In the real world, some people like to put things inside of them. Like brush handes, dragon dildos, and gelatin eggs. One day you too will know the horrors that the Internet provides for the unprepared."
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope just carpal tunnel
Formshifter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in America. We're doing just fine in the rest of the developed world
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man have made for some even more awkward teenage years for me. All those hormones raging and no means to release.
mygawd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep and a lot of parents reinforce misinformation because they think it's better to lie to their kids about sex than have them know the scandalous truth
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suspect your school might have failed in multiple areas besides sex ED.
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nope, Sex edd. Like Ed, Edd, and Eddy but with more sex.
bootywaffleJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is completely relatable
medusa440 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't learn until my junior year of HS (which was only 5 years ago mind you) that you can still get pregnant when you're on your period. My anatomy teacher, Ms. Runkle, said it in passing during class and I yelled "WHAT" and she took the time to explain. She liked me despite the fact that I called her Runkletron 3000 every day.
gray_-_wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well I guess that depends on where exactly your hands were before that..
nearly_almost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up in California this was not an issue, thankfully.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, only now do I appreciate how awesome it is that you canโt.
(Not right now, donโt worry.)
rwwman50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard you kind of can. IIRC you can give yourself herpes if you finger a girl during an outbreak then jerk off w/o washing your hands. I don't know why anyone would do this but I know somebody who swears that's how they got it since they wouldn't have sex with the girl because she had herpes.
Sigmund_Six ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid and hadn't yet been educated on the birds and the bees, I thought you could get pregnant from masturbation.
Hung_On_A_Monday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't it? Depend on who you are masturbating, your technique, and your finishing move?
StevenTM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it all depends on who you've been fucking before masturbating and which body part you've been fucking them with.
Slouder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people I sleep with think I have an std because I masturbated so much I have a small callous on my shaft.
ColoradoCummins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend did.... when his roommate secretly used his pocket pussy.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well sure, if you just touched the mouth of someone with a cold sore.
brookasaurusrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 6th grade teacher on the first day of health class said that no question was dumb or off limits, the first girl that raised her hand asked what a rainbow party was. It was a very informational class. If it was only up to my parents, I would still know nothing. It somehow just wasn't a thing my parents thought their teenagers needed to know about.
Valkyrie_of_Loki ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:48:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know females could masturbate until age 17. Ugh.
Warro726 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:46:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grade health class. Had a girl in my class ask if its okay not to have sex with her boyfriend. Apparently he was telling her that if he doesnt have sex he can get backed up and his balls will explode.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:25:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sliding into her panties 101
Cam0201 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I mean you do... They call it "Hearing AIDS"
obliviouskey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:15:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most underrated comment of the day.
buttmunch3 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:29:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought oral sex was kissing until sometime in high school, to be fair
artgo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:08:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before the advent of easily acceisble pornogrpahy, the popular term "blow job" was a topic of discussion with my friends and I in middle school. Everyone had their own interpretation, all wrong. A sill magazine picture doesn't really convey oral sex like video ;)
AGuyWithAPhone ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:05:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Living in the most Mormon state, Utah, and not being Mormon is fine. It's normal, kids are nice, the teachers are nice, and they're not overly religious in school.
Sexual education, on the other hand, is a joke. Every single teacher and peer-created skit is all about how abstinence is fucking incredible and is the only choice that is safe for you, your friends, and your family.
Because, apparently, teaching kids how to use birth control and condoms is something that shouldn't happen? /s
razorwiredbliss ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:49:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up in a town of 98% Mormons (rexburg idaho, look it up I'm serious) where sex was a swear word. Even if you spelled it backward the other kids said that counted as swearing.
PewPewImOnFire ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:49:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh, ick! Rexburg is worse than most of Utah. it's where all the mormon grannies go to die
jdovew ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:58:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rexburg is so bad people in Price make fun of the Mormons there.
darkfire4219 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other parts of Idaho call rexburg Mormon Purgatory.
emmyep2002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Western Idaho is where it's at, man. Eastern Idaho is full of Mormons and potato farms, while the panhandle/Northern Idaho is full of Nazis. There's a reason they call it the Treasure Valley, after all.
tybrromian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:59:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget all the college students who got rejected from BYU
extremx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up in Rexburg, comments like this make me laugh. Kids with silly vendettas trying to make everyone sound bat-shit crazy.
BYU-I was a bit too intense for me... but if i avoided campus life was great.
razorwiredbliss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I am just some random guy on the Internet, but that's what it was like.
coopstar777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in Twin Falls as saw this stuff all the time as a kid. I have no doubt whatsoever Rexburg is way worse
extremx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guarantee you it was no different. Bell curve, you always have the crazies on both ends.
missionbeach ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:50:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's kinda funny, but not unreasonable for someone with no experience even talking about sex.
Computermaster ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:04:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I got me a Mormon kid story:
This was in 11th grade. Our math teacher had a huge stick up his ass about the dress code, so eventually he decided that we would start class every day by reading the dress code in its entirety out of the student handbook.
Semi-relevant tidbit: My classmate was one of those "effeminate" types who were always surrounded by girl friends (not girlfriends).
After missing the first three days of this due to sickness, classmate finally returns. We start going through the rulebook again, and one of the rules is "Girls will not wear low cut shirts that expose cleavage or make any part of a brassiere visible".
Classmate raised his hand, and was dead serious when he asked, "What is cleavage?"
We all just turned to look at him and there was absolute silence for 3 seconds. Then everyone (except teacher and kid) burst into absolute hysterical laughter. He always claimed he seriously didn't know what cleavage was, and I could believe it considering he was Mormon.
Still, I don't see how you can be surrounded by girls all day and at least not be able to figure out what a low cut shirt would expose.
supremecrafters ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time that I was in school and I heard one of my (much older) friend talking about a woman's cleavage, and I piped up and said, "I thought only rocks had cleavage?"
AWarmHug ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:45:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
capncrooked ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:20:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aural sex. Just hearing about it.
Ear herpes is a serious affliction among teachers that get asked stupid questions.
everythingevilinme ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:41:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you spin around 3 times in front of the mirror while chanting "Bloody Mary" you get your period!
TheBreastIncarnate ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:08:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slurred my words a little. Ass is now bleeding. Send help.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
paisleyorchid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:57:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedhogwarts
ok2nvme ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:57:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good girls never get their periods.
sickburnersalve ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why smart shoppers only employ mute prostitutes... they can't get oral STDs because they never talk about sex.
Fatally_Flawed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:21:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 8 or 9 my friend confided in me that she'd found something shocking in her dad's chest of drawers... a condom.
I didn't know what a condom was but she didn't seem to catch on so I must have made the right sort of shocked face. Probably because I was getting mixed up with 'Concord' and was amazed at how her dad had an entire plane in his chest of drawers.
Slightmeatsweats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's more shocking than condoms
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Mormon, it frustrates me that this is a real thing. Come talk to freshmen at BYU and you'll find just as many ridiculous questions/misconceptions
Chocolate_Muscle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ex-Mormon girl here: can confirm that mindset.
Typick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in my high school health class who was 17 asked if, "them girls get pregnant when you do 'em in the anal."
Naturae_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is not a dumb question but just a related head-ass moment. In my junior year of high school, my friend and I were able to convince a classmate you were able to impregnate somebody by just rubbing pinkies with the opposite sex. All I could think is how bad the school system failed them.
from_ether_side ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one hits close to home. I was raised Mormon. I didn't know what oral sex was until I was about 30. And I have yet to experience it.
Slightmeatsweats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looking back, I feel bad for her. She was by no means a dumb girl. Just a sheltered home experience that did not include sex education. I remember her parents sent her to a different high school after freshman year because they did not like a book we were assigned our sophomore year (do not remember the book).
from_ether_side ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I feel about these things now too. Mormons are to be pitied. Not stupid or ignorant about most things, but very often unaware of the larger world outside of the Mormon bubble.
LoveBy137 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During the fervor over Monica Lewinsky, my mom had a student ask her why the president was getting in so much trouble over kissing a woman in the White House. These were sophomores so needless to say many of her classmates started laughing. My mom smoothly said that is probably a good question to ask your parents when you get home and quickly changed the subject.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former Mormon, I can say that we got no sex ed. Still haven't gotten the talk from my parents and I've just moved in with my SO. The closest I got was "if you get pregnant in high school, I'm not paying for an epidural."
Slightmeatsweats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha when your parents said that were you thinking what's an epidermal? I'm a guy, but I didn't no what it was until I was in my early 20's
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I made them tell me what it was because no, I didn't know. It's a fun time, learning all my sex ed from the internet.
M00glemuffins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an exmormon, I can confirm that the lack of sex education in Utah is profound and sad.
Slightmeatsweats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The class was just sort of stunned. No bursts of laughter like you'd expect from asshole middle schoolers, just hushed whispers of shock (the whispers were filled with asshole comments, but middle schoolers). I remember one of my best friends telling me she was in his homeroom and the teacher was going to put on a movie one day but she said she couldn't watch cause it was PG (she could only watch G at 11 or 12 years old). The teacher had her work on an assignment in the hall
Infinitebeast30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No that's really dumb
sharksnut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:27 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least she didn't assume that it meant sex with Oral Roberts.
johnnycoin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you consider homosexuality a disease, then yes you might just catch gay by talking about it with someone else that already has it.
TheRealBobbyC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brings a whole new meaning to oral sex
VY_Cannabis_Majoris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No"
pussibilities ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah when I was around that age I remember thinking oral sex meant phone sex.
TheMaStif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it depends on how much they spit while they talk, sweety
Moonman94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like to her a STD is just a language parasite. The Mormons played her like a fiddle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, 7th grade is like 12? I guess she knew the term 'aural exam' and extrapolated.
Badoor11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't that bad, some schools have oral assessments
novacham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a female student in my class ask if a baby would know which hole to come out of if she had anal sex.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who was raised Mormon.... sounds about right. The amount of sheltered that mormon kids are is insane. I didn't know what the word penis meant until I was like 14.
My dad also told me that only people who had premarital sex got STD's and so I would never have to get tested (we were in a movie theater and one of the pre-movie ads was a PSA about getting tested for HIV).
ShataraBankhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a couple of friends talking when we were teens. One girl was explaining oral sex. She said it was "talking dirty".
Serdaigle15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7th grade and they don't know oral sex?
Iazo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the same misconception, back when I was a kid, and I heard Clinton was being impeached for having oral sex.
I figured that they must be really angry because he talked about it to the wrong person.
Kid logic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well why else do you think they call it dirty talk?
DarkGreav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laugh thinking of the conversation she had at home. " Mom and Dad we had oral sex in class today"
lillyrose2489 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was raising money for an AIDS walk in high school, and there was a woman in my neighborhood who said they didn't want to donate or talk to me about that because they didn't want to get AIDS. Leading me to two conclusions: 1) She thought everyone raising money for AIDS had AIDS and 2) She thought AIDS was an airborne illness.
So... sometimes people make it a long time still having no idea how STD's work.
Also, just another weird thing that happened that day.. I had a man agree to donate, then added "it's a real shame that AIDS doesn't just affect gay people, ya know?" Uhhhhhhhhhh no, that's a horrible thing to say, but please still give me your money?
Taniwha_NZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer is: "My dear, you can get STDs just by thinking about sex."
thats_handy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can get hearing aids just by listening to assholes. They have to be loud though.
La_Diablita_Blanca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so innocent I didn't get it at first.
I_love_pillows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You just infected the class kiddoโ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know what jizz was until 10th grade
tonyray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's sweet
InvaderProtos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is goddam adorable.
Johnyknowhow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legend has it that if you go into a dark bathroom and stare in the mirror and yell "bloody mary" 3 times you'll get syphilis.
thesmobro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If there's a penis in your mouth, yes"
egotisticalnoob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That's why it's important that we don't use naughty words."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didnt know that's what a BJ was called until 1998.
JimmyRat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's refreshing that there are still children out there living as children instead of hypersexualized tweenagers.
Rikuxauron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I thought oral sex was phone sex up until sometime in middleschool
coole106 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, when I was about the same age I saw the term "oral sex" for the first time, and I thought it meant something like dirty talk.
TheAtomicOption ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...depends on how much spittle you spew. >.>
Mechasteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, talking about sex leads to sex which leads to STDs and pregnancies. The only option is to pretend sex doesn't exist. -- A lot of supposed adults
zappy487 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, you can get hearing AIDS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mormon and we are definitely exposed to the topic the same time as everyone else. This girl is the exception.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school health class in Mississippi was a blast. It was supposed to be "abstinence only," but my teacher went rogue and allowed us to leave anonymous questions in a jar that he would answer in class.
Some gems:
"Is Coca-Cola a spermicide?"
"How does the baby not get burned by the mom's stomach acid?"
"Is it romantic to give my girlfriend some money after sex?" (Our teacher stressed courtship and being a gentleman.)
"Can jizz give you lung cancer?"
Then, the sad question: "Is it a crime if my boyfriend forces me to give him oral?" I was in tenth grade and that broke my heart.
accentmarkd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The topic of oral sex never came up in any of my health/phys ed/sex talk classes and we didn't talk about anything sex ed at home. I did not know about oral sex until college when someone made a joke I didn't understand. I was naive, it happened a lot, and someone inevitably ended up explaining pretty much anything that wasn't covered in a Catholic school sex ed class to me after a joke I didn't understand. My first term of college was horrifying and enlightening.
APsWhoopinRoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She must have been pretty sheltered
MagikBiscuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why sex Ed is so important no matter who you are or what you do/gonna do.
showyerbewbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she was thinking they meant Aural sex.
jakebot9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, isn't that the point of Sex Ed? To ask those questions that are "stupid" in a safe and educational environment? Good on her for having the courage to ask a question.
lickspittal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, if you're not careful you can get hearing AIDS.
apollohay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://vine.co/v/O3Jve97IHqH
ADexter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait isn't that like the complete plot point of Metal Gear Solid V?
pm_me_ur_demotape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised she was allowed to attend.
Happyocd2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school health class someone asked the nurse what oral sex was. Her reply was "I don't know. Talking about it. Ask your parents."
I believed that for like a year. This was in the Bible Belt in the late 90s.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FYI the mormons are a cult. We had suicide pacts in our temples where we covenant to kill our selves if we ever revealed the free mason tokens learned in the endowment process. The punishments were taken out in 1990, because people were nervous about mimicking slitting her throat, chest and belly. Now we just summit up at the end that we would sacrifice our lives to the church if necessary.
Edit full: also if you don't pay 10% of your tithes you were not worthy to enter the temple and if you cannot enter the temple you cannot be sealed toyour family in heaven therefore you cannot be with your family in heaven and less you pay 10% of your income to the church. I would like to add the churches finances have been kept secret and are not a public record with the exception of branches in the UK which of been forced to reveal some of their assets
ok2nvme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, as a Mormon girl, she'll never be permitted to perform or receive oral sex, anyway.
You may as well have let her go to recess early.
smugliberaltears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow, you got sex ed? lucky.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In her defense sex Ed in America is super vague about the details of sex. Mostly they'll go over what kind of diseases and how the many ways you can contract them. My gf use to think that having too much anal sex gave you AIDS
BertMacGyver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was about 12 we had a question amnesty sex ed class where we wrote anonymous questions on paper and put them in a pit for the teacher to read and answer. Mine was "what happens if it goes in the wrong hole?". I saw her take it out and mouth the question before screwing it up and saying something about some people not taking things seriously. I genuinely wanted to know though. I mean, what's to stop it happening?? And then you might get poop on you and its all so gross!
FearTheTooth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because the topic is taboo in that religion, unless you're a bishop interviewing a minor. Then you can ask for all the details.
Source: exmo
Seminolesoldier2620 ยท 21797 points ยท Posted at 13:10:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once projected a picture of the Earth onto the front white board. A student asked, "How do astronauts stand on a planet like that?"
Edit: Was an 8th grade student, being totally serious, not under any noticeable influence of illegal substances.
paranoidadndroid ยท 9224 points ยท Posted at 14:50:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The same way we all are standing on the moon right now."
Sherwoodfan ยท 1634 points ยท Posted at 15:10:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You must fulfill three wishes..."
[deleted] ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 15:56:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gaunter!
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 16:33:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you suggest we play? A round of Gwent!"
joshi38 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:00:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Always. We always play a round of Gwent."
Ellthan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What reference is that?
crissomx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:45:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's referencing Witcher 3's mini game called Gwent. Arguably better than the actual game.
Sherwoodfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look I get that Gwent is fun and I absolutely love it, printed my own decks too
But aren't you going too far
crissomx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't really serious with that statement. Witcher 3 is a masterpiece.
Kyne_of_Markarth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:31:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God he was such a good antagonist.
TheGenocides ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imo both DLC's were better written than the main game, although they had less content. Blood and Wine made up for that a little though.
toughbutworthit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hated the ending to blood and wine tho
TheGenocides ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are three or four endings I believe. Play it differently and it might end to your liking.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheGenocides ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoiler tag that my dude, don't wanna give anything away to players who haven't finished!
But I prefer the ending where Anna lives personally.
toughbutworthit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I just thought that it being out for a while now people would know or wouldn't already
Kyne_of_Markarth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't quite finished blood and wine yet. But both the main story and the first dlc story were amazing.
Zero713 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucken hated O'Dimm
jayreutter ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:48:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...you're....immortal?
Funkmob925 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:38:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I patted myself on the back for knowing this reference.
MGB87 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:47:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Finished Hearts of stone about an hour ago.
TheGenocides ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:D time for Blood and Wine. Buckle up!
toughbutworthit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some say I'm still saving up for the runewright
Funkmob925 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly i only felt that the invigoration enchantment was worth it. As an alchemy build i found euphoria from B&W to be much more beneficial in regards to attack power and DPS
Funkmob925 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved hearts of stone, the wedding scene with Vlodimir had me in tears from laughter
B&W is amazing as well, the story is 10/10. I was extremely sad when I finished it though. Oh well time for NG+
Edit: mixed up names because im a filthy casual
toughbutworthit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Vlodimir, his brother, ya filthy casual
Funkmob925 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol you're right. Olgierd has the heart of stone. How could i forget....i even bested some peasants in pig wrangling with him.
geveck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:55:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedwitcher
Ellthan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What reference is that?
Sherwoodfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you really wish to know?
Ellthan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:25 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, but what is it?
Assmunch131 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But first you gotta rub my, ahem, lamp
ASSarnat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wishes? I wish I'd known that earlier!
CallMeWaltrop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me three wishes, I wish, I wish, I wish, you would bitch
Scarletfapper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:13:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And prepare three envelopes...
ohboycookies ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:52:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want my right arm to spin counterclockwise nonstop
Ololic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:21:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I can stand on land!
I wish the moon was solid!
I wish to end world hunger!
I wish I had more wishes!
ssteph ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:08:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the morning laugh.
adudeguyman ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:31:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/kenm
Osthato ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:51:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself
you_got_fragged ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:46:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same way I am all standing on the moon right now
Spikrit ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:38:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why i wouldn't be able to teach. I'd be answering shit like that to every mildly dumb question.
NDSystemsAnalyst ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:15:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid's head would explode
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:57:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember being extremely young maybe 3 or 4. I'm sitting there pointing at a full moon telling my mom that I wanted to travel to the earth one day...
One of my first memories actually. I miss being little.
pxan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilers...
akjoltoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect response. It practically even clarified my confusion at the completely ass backwards logic in the comment.
Kikirudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor kid must've responded "I'm an astronaut!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hey I recognize you from r/Radiohead!
zaphod_beeble_bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is weird
NoFriends_IWonderWhy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IS Earth just a moon of something larger?
paranoidadndroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, of course. The Sun.
Namffohcl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:36:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, in a Hollywood studio.
[deleted] ยท 4541 points ยท Posted at 14:49:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even begin to comprehend this one.
PM_ME_AMAZON_VOUCHER ยท 1802 points ยท Posted at 15:18:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"With their feet"
BlueJay347 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:49:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What if they land in the ocean? What will they do then?"
romario77 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:08:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
swim
Ghotimonger ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:34:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
then wat
MissLauralot ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really doesn't matter what brand of golf club you hit the shark with Jimmy, just hit it with something.
slorebear ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:59:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he boot too big
pops_secret ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah that makes sense
mfb- ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:15:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The same way you stand on a planet like that."
drdeadringer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Quentin.
headpsu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very carefully
Rcp_43b ยท 2257 points ยท Posted at 15:23:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I am picturing student who is just absolutely stoned in class asking that question.
ZombieRichardFeynman ยท 1392 points ยท Posted at 15:26:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:43:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am picturing
-Golvan- ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:37:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
student
a_blue_ducks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:03:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
who is
ChromaLife ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:13:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just absolutely
Nloveladyallen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:53:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
stoned
UnderestimatedIndian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in
braydo1122 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
class
manawesome326 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asking
-Golvan- ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:21:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
um bango um bango they drink it in the Congo
Alarid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it because you're stoned?
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:19:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"reason"
ZombieSantaClaus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:45:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"quote"
brucetwarzen ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 15:46:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i didn't smoke a lot in school, but usually the stoned kids didn't ask questions.
penguinintux ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 15:57:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely because we knew that it was very likely we were going to ask a stupid question
swiftlyslowfast ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:06:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I asked anyways. If was dumb just played off like making a joke. Often it would just derail the lesson and piss off the teachers pets so would be worth it.
LordPadre ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 16:17:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teachers pets, or the people who were just trying to learn and tired of the lesson being derailed?
Every time I ended up having to study more at home because someone didn't know the 2+2=4 of whatever we were doing, I definitely held a grudge.
swiftlyslowfast ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:34:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I mostly did it with easy subjects people understood. There are not many times to make a joke during math, art or sex ed is easier. A lot of times even the teacher like the added levity cause people would wake up a bit. I got good grades in school so could not have been that bad, ,. .
But it would annoy the hell out of people who wanted everything to be rigid and plain, you know a few everyone does.
classykills ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you were like the teacher's pest? lol
TheyAreAllTakennn ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 17:01:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher's pets, as in the kids hoping not to work fast food their entire adult life and trying to learn. You sound awful.
basalticlava ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ur nerd
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:21:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're that kid that reminded the teacher when he forgot to assign homework, aren't you?
swiftlyslowfast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you need to relax a bit. Teachers pets to be are the ones always kissing ass and doing favors to make themselves look good. Has nothing to do with education but personality. Don't know what kind of behavior you consider a teachers pet to have. ..
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:14:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
swiftlyslowfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, this was like high school. Nobody was hurt by 5 minutes wasted every once in awhile in a 50 min class 5 days a week. And yes, to me teachers pets are the smug ones, the brown-nosers. Just being helpful in class is different than being sappy and overboard to me. So yeah smug and rude bout it, more so acting entitled is best def. for me. The studious are neerdy/geeky, sports are jocks etc. I guess everyone has their own definitions for the clicks in their schools.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, there's a difference between people that want to learn and a teacher's pet. Based on your response, you were probably the little weasel that brought your teacher an apple every day and raised their hand at every question and got mad when you didn't get picked.
TheyAreAllTakennn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the total opposite, but I respect the kids who are like that unless they do it to feel superior or try to manipulate the teacher into giving them higher grades. You can be a good person without acting smug about it.
just_comments ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh god they all know I'm high and are staring at me be cool be cool be cool"
mysticrudnin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"can i go to the bathroom" is a question that they asked a lot
brucetwarzen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
do i need to pee?
chodeboi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the stoned encyclopedia who'd pipe up with facts about Roman Surveying Methods or Carbon=Carbon Double-Bonds at the most inopportune times.
I was summarily ostracized.
milkand24601 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:29:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs so hard being too smart for school :<
chodeboi ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:24:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So, what'd you learn at school today, kiddo?"
huge sigh of exasperation
"NOTHING again. Waste of my life."
classykills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAH. This is what my niece literally says. Typically it's
"Nothing. I colored."
MoreDetonation ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:36:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Weed...legal...amount...New York."
mad_mister_march ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:08:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Facebook dot com, my grandson Nathan."
hgoel0974 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:42:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No."
MoreDetonation ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:25:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why avocado pit so big?"
Arancaytar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:49:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Boston bomber. ...Cute one."
Loopyprawn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:27:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sonic the hedgehog... Safe search off.
MoreDetonation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I knew it!"
Rocky87109 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:53:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah he probably had some deeper question in his mind(maybe legitimate or not) but didn't articulate it well at all.
dog_whisperer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:11:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i asked something along these lines in 3rd grade and it involved a scenario with a giant in space grabbing earth and what would happen. I think i was trying to ask a question about atmosphere and gravity but didnt have the vocabulary or proper lessons yet. Safe to say a few of my classmates looked at me weird
PlsJamflex ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:26:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that reason is because you've talked to a stoned person before
Rcp_43b ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:32:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, although I don't think myself or any of my friends have been quite that stoned.
roguesimian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly a space cadet
PerilousAll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Jaden Smith
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How Can The Earth Be Real If Gravity Isn't Real
RASTAPANDAFISH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm...Am stoned student
ISeeStars9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably would be me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am picturing a student with a dry sense of humor skying majestically over his teacher's head.
ArmaTiroPum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a preschooler... theres no context
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes, it doesn't take weed to have a 10 guy moment
Scienceofrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like I just don't get it like...teacher...like how do we even stand on something like that small...you know?
The_Dr_B0B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday I walked into some class high as hell and 10 mins late. The profesor wasn't in the classroom so I went up to a friend and asked him if the prof hadn't arrived. He just laughed along with some other guys, so I just said "aight" and seated down.
That's when I noticed the profesor standing in front of the board, with the proyector on and mid presentation.
Damn it was fkin trippy. I suspect he knew I was high because he kept directing questions to me and trying to like get me to trip or something. Anyways fun shit xD
chiquitadave ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:44:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I get it. Kid probably pictured astronauts standing on the moon like someone cartoonishly standing on top of a big rock. When you look at the Earth, you have to not only realize how small we are (something kids have a hard time concieving of) and have the gestalt for its atmosphere (you don't stand "on top of" the Earth, you really sort of stand inside it to a certain extent).
Edit: hopefully this was someone under the age of, like, 8. Beyond that, well...
cnaiurbreaksppl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately they were 8 and a half. We had him put down. For the good of the tribe.
TheStorm117 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:28:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the gravity of the situation demands an answer.
Ishmelwot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:16:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kid had the same problem I did as a 1st grader. I saw the planets and ours is blue, my front yard is green, the roads are black, and in my young mind I didn't know how large the ocean was since it seemed like something so rare that I'd never seen it.
So In my mind If I was in space I'd have to fly into the planet to get to my home. One day another student took a dodge ball and asked the teacher how a space ship gets into our planet if it leaves. I also thought you had to go INTO the ball.
I was a dumb kid but this isn't one of the things I thought was dumb.
Edit: Turns out this story is about an 8th grader.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:49:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It goes beyond that, though.
He mentioned astronauts. Did he not know that he was looking at a picture of the Earth, where billions of non-astronauts live?
And if didn't realize that was Earth... does that mean he thinks we've actually sent astronauts to other planets?
Ishmelwot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and based on the edit he was in the 8th grade.
CowboyBoats ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the simplest explanation is that (A) he didn't visually recognize Earth, for whatever reason, and thought he was looking at a gas giant or something, for whatever reason (maybe there were lots of clouds in the picture) and (B) he thought that astronauts either had landed, or were planning to land, on most kinds of planets in the solar system, including gas giants.
crapplegate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:01:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's because the kid doesn't have a concept of scale. He see's a picture of the earth and it's round. He's probably tried to stand on a ball before (soccer or basketball) and has fallen off. So he assumes anyone trying to stand on a big round object is going to fall off. He doesn't realize the massive scale of the ball, and that when that round surface is so large, and you're just a tiny speck on it, it doesn't look round to you anymore it looks flat. Thus he wonders "How could an astronaut stand on that?" A question that seems silly to an adult, but is actually great communication from a child trying to connect life experience to what they're learning.
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:50 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grade is like 14-15 yrs old I feel like that's something they should have picked up on when they were closer to 10
donkawechico ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My best guess is that he's asking how the astronaut was standing in order to be able to take a picture of Earth in that way.
entotheenth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess flat earthers have to start somewhere.
NoNickname90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can be seen as if the current planet their on isn't Earth.
helpusdrzaius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the best you can do is say it back to them very slowly and intentionally. Might have to repeat a few times.
Darktidemage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he read the book "the little prince"
IanSan5653 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm in college and still can't comprehend how gravity works.
jamesvdant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither could they
arittenberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I try to think of reasonable explanations for the comments in this thread so I feel a little better about inhabiting the planet with these people. The only one I have for this is that he is a little confused about the way gravity works and means how do the astronauts stay grounded and not float away. Ya... not any better actually
Krail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see someone in a shitty education system getting to 8th grade without fulling comprehending the whole "Earth is round" thing.
Notmyrealname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's because of gravity.
SirRogers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what the kid said.
DrJohanzaKafuhu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course you can't, because the round earth theory makes no sense. Now if the earth was flat, which it is, it would be easy to comprehend how one stands on it.
Our modern school systems are just trying to confuse kids and make more sheeple. Bravo to this one student calling it out the way it is.
holdencawffle ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Humor is said to be the key to getting through to your students, so I would try laughing at the fucktard.
learnyouahaskell ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:22:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's your problem, not the child's. How many people have seen the planet at least from high altitude, or from space? How old does a child in a "developed" country need to be, to have been guaranteed to see a picture of the Earth in context? (And please note there are children who might be in poverty, who have no books at home, and who may have no transportation to, and be too young to go alone to, a library.)
[deleted] ยท 1150 points ยท Posted at 14:45:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we need a good space program.
EvangelineTheodora ยท 722 points ยท Posted at 14:57:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To make sure the landing capabilities of the spacecraft are sufficient.
jfk_47 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:25:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To send kids like this to the stars.
knealis76 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:36:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Star*, send kids like this to the Star. blast those little morons right into sun.
jfk_47 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:42:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to be the one to say it
RedFlame99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough, it actually takes less fuel to send stuff to other stars than to the sun, because to do so we need to cancel our orbital speed.
It would take less time though, so it has its advantages.
knealis76 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:18 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U could use another planet to slingshot towards the sun
RedFlame99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:18 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, didn't think of that. We still have a chance for an efficient garbage disposal system! :D
ComicDebris ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:22:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, to make sure our astronauts are outstanding.
peacemaker2007 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:48:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about the astronaut standing capabilities?
mildly_amusing_goat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Curved. Feet.
PracticeMakesPizza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
#LandOnTheEarth2017
slurp_derp2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, to recreate Minecraft on a galactic level...
mAnoFbEaR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And don't forget the astronuts
H37man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea we should probably start creating NIMA first though. Its the national institute for the miniaturization of astronauts.
0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As well as the standing capabilities of astronauts.
getefix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To land on our own planet
redpandaeater ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:06:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll settle for a kerbal one.
virgnar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:45:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let that student be the first to report in for duty.
PM_ME_BIRDS_OF_PREY ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:53:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it's run by someone who knows what they're doing (Scott Manley, I'm looking at you)...
GAU8Avenger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott Manley here
itachifan035 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, these students are ones I'd leave floating in space forevrr
mcampo84 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:17:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So we can all get as far away from this kid as possible?
tethrius ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:15:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as this kid isn't in it
cork-dublin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother will fight you until the end of time because she believes that if you dig down, through the earth, through the core, you'll end up in outer space.
Rev_Up_Those_Reposts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing how someone can simultaneously believe that:
a) the earth isn't flat
and
b) the earth isn't a sphere
cork-dublin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, she knows it's a sphere. She uses that to back her theory up.
Rev_Up_Those_Reposts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I'm confused here. Does she think there's space in the earth's core? Does she think the earth's core is a portal into space?
pianoboy8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kerbal space program? i'll just leave
cthulu0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So we can ship idiots like this kid into space before they reproduce, amirite???
inconspicuous_male ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only smart people are allowed to reproduce in your utopia? Is there an intelligence test?
TitoAndronico ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To evict these types from the planet at supersonic speeds?
rendingale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so we can take better pictures
HellfireKyuubi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So we can send those people to the sun?
FredDerf666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To have a place to send people who ask stupid questions?
Gbaebae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just a better atlas
VerticalRadius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To get away from all these idiots.
ekwjgfkugajhvcdyegwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Delta IV and Atlas V already have enough lift capacity to send these people to a LEO.
LordSoren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To escape people like this one, or remove them from the planet?
bongo1138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think any space program can fix that level of stupidity.
meghonsolozar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So we can jettison that kid?
phasers_to_stun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds of me this. Not completely relevant, but in my mind it is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So we can jettison dumb kids into the Sun?
thesunscreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why? we need to fix the problems here. /s
NapClub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
to make sure when people stand on the moon they use their feet?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To learn how to walk on a planet like that.
wardrich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong!
We are already able to stand on that planet with the current space funding. /s (/t[rump]?)
LegendaryGoji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you see, we don't just need a "good" space program. We need a great space program. A superb space program! A KERBAL SPACE PROGRAM!
Adamskinater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I volunteer to be a space cadet
man_on_a_screen ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why, to spread the dumb seed of humanity across the solar system? thanks, but no thanks, it's stories like these that confirms my belief we should stay exactly where the fuck we are forever.
the_omnipotent_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? Cuz some kid had a question?
man_on_a_screen ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh settle down. It's the internet. :D
ChainChompsky ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 15:13:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are all astronauts. This kid is deep.
-Reddit_Account- ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:27:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can our questions be deep if our thoughts aren't real
Chispy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[Under breath] holy shit
SilhouettedEye ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should try shrooms.
ChainChompsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You holding?
SilhouettedEye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wish
sungross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/im14andthisisdeep
jontelang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No
ChainChompsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
jontelang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I stand corrected
mydogiscuteaf ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:32:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.. I don't even understand that question.
poop_compressor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Standing on a Lincoln Town Car is easier than standing on a VW Bug.
I_am_a_Failer ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 14:56:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so stupid I can't even understand why you would ask that. I don't even understand the question. Just wat
Linearts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:42:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the kid didn't recognize that it was a picture of the earth, and was confused because he thought they had sent astronauts onto some green/blue alien planet.
woohoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes him smart
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:18:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't understand gravity, I assume he thought they'd just fall off.
It's not really that stupid, if no one had ever explained the concept to him.
I_am_a_Failer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fall off what? They aren't standing on the earth
Ophelia_Of_The_Abyss ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:07:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um... What grade was this? Please let it be preschool...
ne3ko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The important questions...
ButcherPetesMeats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grad student.
Marique ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:29:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Astronauts are those with the capability to leave the planet. He's asking why anyone with the capability to leave would choose to remain on such a planet like this. A pretty cynical view for a student, if you ask me. Maybe some of those astronauts believe in a brighter tomorrow?
An0therB ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:11:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, that's an interesting yet probably overly optimistic take.
professor_max_hammer ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:52:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this a planet for ants? It has to be at least three times larger
kayleehunter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:16:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to re-read this several times to make sure I understood his question correctly.
Did you contact his parents to ask them... wtf?
PM_ME_UR_GRIND ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oops! My first reddit comment was from my pocket. Sorry
sailordanisaur ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:53:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the winner right here.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:50:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You fool! Now the flat-earthers are coming for us all!
TheLastHaggis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
emzieees ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher spent weeks prepping our class to visit a college campus and learn about earthquakes. She drilled us about tectonic plates, types of collisions, fault lines around us, everything. She wanted us to look smart for the people presenting.
We get there, they do their presentation, and my friend raises her hand and goes, "How come the astronauts don't hit the plates?"
Everyone looked around, confused, and she clarified, "like when they fly to the moon, how do they avoid them?"
She thought the tectonic plates were in the sky. My teacher was pissed.
jmerridew124 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:57:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The same way we all do, since that's our planet from really far away. It's like a bowling ball on a trampoline. If you put a marble near the bowling ball, it's always going to move toward the bowling ball."
Doesn't seem like a weird question to me, just an opportunity to explain why things don't fall off giant spheres.
MAKE_ME_REDDIT ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:21:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a weird question because the kid clearly doesn't understand that he's looking at Earth
Chimerasame ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:34:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That plus... even if you didn't recognize it as Earth, what about looking at an Earth-like planet would make you think it's... difficult to stand on? Like did he think it was a sideways, 3' wide planet?
electrophile91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:29:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, no astronaut has ever stood on any other planet.
Uselessly_Irrelevant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this. It's not intuitive for us to all know what Earth looks like, it's something we know because we've been educated to the fact. But kudos on that kid for asking. How many other kids were just silent? Someone's gotta ask the "stupid" questions to shore up the knowledge and get us all on the same page.
clarret ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol stfu moron.
jmerridew124 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:35:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too many words for you?
clarret ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. We are all aware of how to explain it. You are one of the few who actually felt like you were smart because you could. It's really embarrassing.
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny, I'm not embarrassed. Why would I care that you find it embarrassing?
clarret ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:58:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when did i ever say you should care? i'm just pointing out something.
also:
'why would i care?' is a defensive question. you are defensive. i wonder why :P
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you say so.
clarret ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:16:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ahahahahahahahaha. you transparent stupid fuck. acting cold doesn't hide your anger, it pronounces it to the world. get utterly demolished by an intellect far greater than your own.
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who are you gonna have demolish me?
clarret ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(cute that you keep downvoting me, betraying your emotional state :P)
oh was it not obvious? i was talking about my intellect being greater than yours, and thus demolishing you. i thought that was pretty damn clear but sometimes people have trouble understanding simple words when they are idiots. its cool girl
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You seem a lot more invested in this than I am.
clarret ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're invested enough to downvote me and reply bitch :)
jmerridew124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course. It's interesting how hard you're trying consider you're not getting anywhere.
clarret ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh you're getting angrier and angrier and that makes me happy :)
dont see an upside for you though
jmerridew124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Angry? How do you figure?
clarret ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
your short replies, your lack of ability to leave the conversation cuz you don't want to not have last word, your downvoting of all of my comments :)
pretty obvious little sis
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I downvote and write a short sentence you come back with a novel. I think it's funny.
clarret ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aww a novel? angry girl is angry!!! you cant refute it. you'll keep replying until you get bored, and then you lose :)
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You think so huh?
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:16 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happened? Are we done? You'd just finished telling me how angry I was.
Frigorifico ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they take their hands out of their mouths and grab some air so they don't sink
sickburnersalve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was inquiring about the great Landstanders, a noble species of alien, found on just one planet.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even understand his question...
PeterGivenbless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing the student may have meant "How do astronauts orient themselves in relation to the Earth?". Technically, the Earth is still "down" but I don't image they feel like they are floating on their stomachs when they face it (or maybe they do!), and then, do they "orient" themselves North to South and feel "upside down" if they turn the other way?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what he was actually trying to ask. Whatever it was, I think that student just has a problem saying the words that describe what they're thinking.
iiSisterFister ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck does that even mean?
HeyitsmeyourOP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is the question? in which manner are the astronauts standing or the question of how would an astronaut stand on a planet such as earth?
c4ldy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I...don't understand the question.
aerovistae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand. What? What did he mean? "like that" --> like what??
slightlyamused1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I must be really dumb. I don't understand the question. A planet like what?
settledownguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. How do you even find a place to start with a student like that?
pm_me_your_ide ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:25:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google earth then physics. Most likely a younger kid. His/Her parents don't care about educating their children outside of school so most likely they have never seen a picture of earth.
mudra311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't even sound like an ignorantly stupid question. Just someone who misfired a neuron somewhere, or they were having a stroke.
SadieDunn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which grade was that?
VY_Cannabis_Majoris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't stand on a planet. There is no gravity, and they float, in space.
JohnMarston208 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol am currently listening to "Walking on the moon" while reading this
plcanonica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar, I projected an unlabelled map of the world, and a student asked me what it was. She was 18.
Huckop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Make the earth flat again!"
thunt1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why Donald Trump won
pegleghippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
adverbs tell us how: The astronauts stood stoically
Edwardk85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old? (Not sure there's an acceptable age.)
davereeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heavy Boots!
AssinineAssassin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with them. This is disconcerting. If the planet is on a vertical surface...I need to invest more heavily in climbing gear
FactualNeutronStar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doing the same kind of thing we had a girl ask, "How does the water not fall off the Earth?"
_TheConsumer_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's easy to stand on FLAT surfaces.
PVPDatabase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing(hoping) kindergarden
mrpoopistan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is questioning how gravity works anywhere near as dumb as this implies?
Seriously, science doesn't have a pat answer to this question. We accept gravity because it works almost all the time, not because we have a good explanation for it.
As for the fact that it's a picture of Earth, you know we also accept that with very little personal proof, too?
dmr83457 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were gas giants and not being able to walk on them being discussed around the same time by chance?
cozyswisher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, what was your response?
Bonbonnibles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the kind of comment that makes me think that perhaps democracy isn't the way to go after all...
TheReelDimension ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just sounds like he doesn't understand the concept of gravity.
Deeferduck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you teach KenM?
eperker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was very young that there was some news show where the set looked like the planet Earth from space. The hosts sat on chairs that looked like they were sitting on the Earth. I thought it was a place you could go. I totally understand where that shit-for-brains was coming from. That kid is going places! (Maybe not above the Earth, though.)
mildly_amusing_goat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why they don't allow flat-footed astronauts.
theres_an_i_in_idiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like this
La_Guy_Person ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few weeks ago I was looking at google sky on google earth with my three year old. I spent several minutes trying to find pictures of our galaxy before it occurred to me that we don't have any pictures of our galaxy... from outside our galaxy.
TsunamiParticle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but there was a fellow student in a highschool geography class that thought the continents were on different planets.
ratbastardben ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We don't deserve Mars.
Noctithra ยท 6731 points ยท Posted at 12:41:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but there's one I'll never forget: "WHAAATTT? EINSTEIN'S DEAD!?"
This was a GCSE class. (15/16 year olds).
R1ckJamesBitch ยท 3821 points ยท Posted at 14:38:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone in my class who asked, "so if Hitler was such a bad person, why don't they just kill him?"
[deleted] ยท 3280 points ยท Posted at 15:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't spoil the ending for him.
charlietango13 ยท 393 points ยท Posted at 16:38:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait until he hears who killed Hitler!! World's greatest hero??
philipdharris1 ยท 240 points ยท Posted at 16:55:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should erect a statue of the guy that killed Hitler, celebrate a real hero.
[deleted] ยท 141 points ยท Posted at 18:13:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Fazer2 ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:41:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And organize free train rides to freedom camps.
tacticoolmachinist ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:39:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should teach concentration at these camps. Too many people with short attention spans.
MaesterOfPanic ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:09:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And preheat the ovens for them
Edit: A letter
AcidCyborg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man, it's like boiling a lobster.
Jedwards6228 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:49:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hero who sacrificed their life to end Hitler's. The world needs more heroes like that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he's got a really nice buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Choblach ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:33:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who killed Osama bin Laden got to write a book. We should let the guy who killed Hitler write a book too.
thatwaffleskid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:15:46 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And you know what? We should let him paint, too!
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 18:19:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would just disrespect that countless individuals who died leading up to that moment.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 16:42:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler wasn't all bad, he killed Hitler after all.
[deleted] ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 17:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he did kill he guy who killed Hitler.
chrassth_ ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:21:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reichception
G8kpr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:38:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literal lol
I llol
chrassth_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:50:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The elusive llol, I thought it was mere myth!
jctheslp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:28:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, they're using 'literally' figuratively
chrassth_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't crush my dreams
chokewanka ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he wasn't that bad, he kill 6 millions of jews after all.
4FrSw ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:41:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that was before
pm_your_pain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea. But he also killed the guy who killed Hitler
MrOceanB ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:29:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moved to south America according to local reports.
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:29:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, thankfully that one guy was able to kill Hitler. I'm surprised there isn't a day honoring Hitler's assassin.
slurp_derp2 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:24:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did Nazi that coming...
thevariabubble ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:43:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did jew expect? Anne frankly this was disgusting, we can't possibly take this fuhrer. I like to think that is the reich number of puns to use.
alexdelicious ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:02:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was just greedy.
NedryOS ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:15:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must be Jewish.
Rioraku ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:33:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll give that a nein/10.
Xenjael ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:07:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You win.
theother_eriatarka ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:17:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unlike Hitler
NedryOS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would also accept 88/100
Phase- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:17:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just flopped onto this pun thread and soaked up all the karma like a big sponge
chokewanka ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karma is only MINE!!!!!
ionlyplaytechiesmid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MEIN*
inline88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist
redjuxtapose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's watching Hunting Hitler. That's why.
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pretty clever twist, don't ruin it for him.
nastdrummer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, finding out that dude faked his death then lived out the rest of his days in Argentina is sure going to be a downer.
Dr_Doorknob ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:17:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love to say, "I'm gonna build a statue of the guy that killed Hitler." and see people's reactions.
TubeSteak424242 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:26:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they tried and failed due to random happenstance (the briefcase was moved to the other side of a heavy oak table support) and then the conspirators were executed. nobody tried again.
this isn't remotely a stupid question at all.
VindictiveJudge ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:29:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They actually tried many times. They gave up both because Hitler was frustratingly difficult to kill and because their spies found out that having Hitler alive was worse for the German war effort than having Hitler dead would be.
Rahbek23 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last point being potentially. It could also have made the german high command essentially wreck themselves by infighting, there were a lot of ambitious individuals around and then of course people believing the war was a bad idea. But I guess it was judged that there was a higher chance of more competent people taking over.
TheDemonicEmperor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:18:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was great with riling up the crowd, but quite possibly the worst military strategist in the 20th century.
Captain-Griffen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, Churchill was fucking terrible as well.
Plain_Bread ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is precisely the reason why Stauffenberg & Co did want to kill him.
tajjet ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:10:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not
Elusive2000 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:49:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh.
resuni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but they also said "if Hitler was".
RussianSkunk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, he was a bad person. Living in Argentina for a few decades has really mellowed him out.
TinCanBegger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agree I, bet kid's the grammar in the way got. The question also stabs at a very important question: How did Hitler get the support of the German people? I hope the teacher got into his question, rather than just laughing.
coole106 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough, there were plans by the British to assassinate him relatively late in the war, and they decided not to carry it out. Part of the reason was because Hitler was recognized as a pretty terrible military strategist by this point and they felt like whoever replaced him would probably be more effective. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Foxley
eblax ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 15:20:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler can't have been all that bad, after all he did kill Hitler.
lxpnh98_2 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 15:38:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
etc. etc.
the8roundshock ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:43:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He also killed the guy who killed Hitler
Aestus-Estus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But in the end he killed the guy who killed the guy who killed Hitler, so it's all good.
steelbeamsdankmemes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:39:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, and remember, kill Hitler!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:41:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently Hitler thought so, too
Bekenel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's living in Argentina as a Welshman.
Weave77 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:17:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is actually an answer this.
Towards the latter part of WWII, the Allies had multiple legitimate chances to assassinate Hitler. They didn't take advantage of them, however, because Hitler was doing such a poor job running the war, they were afraid that whomever took over for him would do a better job.
MacrosInHisSleep ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:08:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See there's an example of why we say there's no such thing as stupid questions. They're all learning opportunities for fun stuff like this.
ThecerealGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was this guy in mine who asked if it was Hitler was the king of France. Also if North Korea participated in WW2
Kumanshu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, he's got a point.
Soelaiman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because he was a bad strategist and is better alive than potentially replaced by a better peer.
wakeupsheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They tried, and tried again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again....
One could wonder how the Allies won if their assassination skills were that poor.
valthys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he meant back then. Like as a kid I wondered why not a single German soldier had the guts to aim at him during one of the parades or speeches and just shoot him. My kid logic thought that would solve everything.. shows you how I thought authority works
NewlyMintedAdult ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on; Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he killed Hitler.
TheMysteryMachine420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: He killed himself!
i_killed_hitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that's a really good question, just with the wrong tense. There's a huge amount to be learned about the attempts on Hitler's life by Allied spies and why they were unable to kill him.
jusumonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids who don't know they're in history class
Nooksybayor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Hitler that bad? I mean he did kill Hitler
call_shawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler isn't such a bad guy - he did kill Hitler
shame_on_us ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't know why everyone gives him so much crap, he did kill the most evil man in history.
SuperCarbideBros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That could be a good opportunity to introduce Operation Valkyrie.
Zhang5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my highschool we had the most critically-unaware person I've ever met.
Sophomore year we cover European history.
Junior year we cover US history.
In our Junior year class we were discussing WWII. They burst out "Wait, Hitler was in Europe?" completely flabbergasted. The lesson at that point went out the window because everyone was too busy teasing them and asking them where the heck they thought WWII happened.
Nightstalker117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who killed Hitler was a good guy. Too bad it was Hitler himself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was the only way Hitler was able to redeem himself. By killing Hitler.
munkey13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler wasn't such a bad guy....after all...he DID kill Hitler!
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Several people tried
chickadee_delight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
his question doesn't even make sense, he's using past and present tense
ThandiGhandi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wasn't that bad of a guy, he did kill Hitler after all.
ActaCaboose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one actually has a good answer and isn't as stupid of a question as you think.
The British actually did have a plan to assassinate Hitler, but they decided not to because Hitler's incompetence was winning them the war.
There was also a plot by several high-ranking Nazi Officials to assassinate Hitler, but it failed and all the conspirers were either executed or forced to commit suicide.
Cimroa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do we know each other?
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well they tried twice. They failed.
Naberius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well-meaning people kill Hitler all the time. We just have to keep undoing it so the timeline doesn't get all messed up.
blackdeath321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i admire the person who killed hitler
Rixxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like that they still used "was", as in try know he is gone, but they don't.
BriSy33 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Killthosewhodisagree
TheShattubatu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
inb4 someone brings out that "fact" that they had a chance to kill Hitler but didn't because he was such a shitty military commander, and they were afraid he'd be replaced by someone competent.
A_Thin_White_Duke ยท 1701 points ยท Posted at 14:12:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am an English teacher and I've had a few ask me if Shakespeare is still writing plays...
Most of them are the smaller kids though (age 11-12), so that's something I suppose...
livingconfusionspell ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:22:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school another student asked why Shakespeare couldn't just write in English.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Valid question to me.
freakers ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 14:56:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, sometimes unexpected people are still alive. It's just that so often peoples work only become popular after their time. The guy the Madlebrot set is named after died in 2010.
The guy who invented the Heimlich maneuver died in 2016, Dr. Henry Heimlich. Noted mad doctor that thought the Heimlich maneuver could basically cure any ailment.
Steven Hawking is still alive. So is Betty White.
SoxxoxSmox ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 15:33:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a line in the song "Mandelbrot Set" by Jonathan Coultan" that goes;
"Mandelbrot's in heaven. Or at least he will be when he's dead. Right now he's still alive and teaching math at Yale."
After Mandelbrot's death he took out the last two sentences but didn't replace them with anything- it's just "Mandelbrot's in heaven." (10 seconds of silence before the next line)
Kiosade ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:23:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually wondering if he changed it. I listened to his songs a bunch in 2008-2009, and still do occasionally, but only through old YouTube videos so I didn't see this update.
brokkoly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he does that when doing it live
-Mountain-King- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I saw him live in... 2012, I think... and that's exactly how he played it.
Thiswhatyawanted ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:35:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, Stephen Hawking is still alive? I thought he kicked the bucket a while ago...
Ninja edit: that is a magnificently poor choice of words right there
kj01a ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harper Lee was still alive until that one dude on reddit killed her.
crielan ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:02:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me yesterday with the Gorbachev post. I never really researched it but I assumed he was dead by now.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I totally thought Heimlich lived a hundred years ago. Was shocked to find out he just died.
IAmATriceratopsAMA ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also there's a popular theory that Shakespeare was a pen name for multiple writers. Who's to say someone isn't out there discovering shockingly relevant and topical plays written in old England and definitely not a few years ago.
lovesickremix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't you just carbon date the paper to see how old it is?
BestFriendHasLeprosy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you implying something?
2059FF ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I wish I were a music teacher just so that when a kid asks me if Beethoven is still composing, I can answer "No, he's decomposing".
purplellamas ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:01:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god this reminds me of when I took A level literature and they let the GCSE students come on our trip with us to see a play. When we got there one of them said really excitedly "I wonder if we're going to meet Shakespeare!"
SerSonett ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:29:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an Editor for a luxury brand. Our Editorial Director is in her 70s (I assume) and is batshit insane. We had a meeting the other day with an agency where she asked if we could contract guest writers. When asked if she had anyone in particular in mind, she shouted "SHAKESPEARE" in a complete deadpan. We all looked at each other and said, yes, we can contract guest writers. To this day I still don't know if she was being serious, and I now seriously wonder how old she truly is.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:59:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard once about a student in a high school English class. They were reading Romeo and Juliet. One of the students snorts, pushes the play away, and says "Oh my god, this dude totally stole this from Taylor Swift!"
SylveoPlath ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:13:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the advanced class in high school and freshman year, a classmate exclaimed, "Shakespeare was a person?!" He thought it was a genre. Related: because he was in the class in middle school I was convinced we were actually the special ed class and they were lying to make us feel better.
dewymeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can actually kind of understand how that might happen if a kid had never heard Shakespeare referred to as William Shakespeare.
intellectualarsenal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and "Shakespearean" is a commonly understood if not terribly frequent descriptor
lifeslittlelunatic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:03:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It broke my heart when my teacher in 4th grade told me i couldnt write to Tolkien because he was dead. Waaaay pre internet. I cried undermy desk until lunchtime
mortiphago ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No, the spear got too shaken and passed away"
H37man ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he has stopped writing plays then please explain this to me.
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTQ2NjA0OTI2OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDMyNzEyMTE@._V1_UY1200_CR104,0,630,1200_AL_.jpg
telegetoutmyway ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:39:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I knew alot about einstein's, shakespeare's, mozart's (etc.) work far before I knew precisely how long ago they lived (relative to other events and stuff, I'm they gave the dates they were alive, and it just didnt click). Granted I never thought they were still alive, but I pretty had to do my own research to get a good idea of when all these people you hear about were alive. I remember thinking einstein was more recent than I assumed. I paid attention in school, I just dont think History classes ever gave a big picture timeline kinda of view of everything/people. At least not in my case.
NewStart793 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell them he is writing the script for the next avatar movie
Cedira ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're ghost stories now.
gizmothetwotoncat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my kids asked me if there was a sequel to Romeo & Juliet, which made me wonder who the heck that would even be about.
Dikaneisdi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an essay from a student which began, 'Shakespeare, the well-known film director ...'
lilsmudge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Working in a bookstore, i had just put out a display of Shakespeare books when an upperclass mom with a Gucci stroller saunters over and asks "is this a new one?" "Huh?" "The new Shakespeare? He wrote a new one right? I can't wait. I looooooved Romeo and Julia." "..." The she picked up a copy of Titus Andronicus and strolled away.
IllBePirateKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Multiple people in my class thought shakespeare was a myth when i was younger..
BuckminsterCampione ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote a persuasive paper in college English Comp II that William Shakespeare was not the true author of the works accredited to him. Long story short, there is a strong argument that Edward De Vere the 17th Earl of Oxford was the actual playwright.
I know, there is a movie named Anonymous that romanticized the whole thing, however it was based on the question of authorship. I wrote the paper 10 years before the movie. I got 100 too!
William Shakespeare of Stratford did in fact exist; whether he actually wrote all the timeless classics could very well be a myth though! I highly recommend Shakespeare fans to look into the subject. Good day!
downyballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost every semester, at least one student is confused about why the ancient Greek philosophers talk about gods but not about Jesus. This is after I introduce them as living and dying hundreds of years BC(E). I now understand how they can absent-mindedly make that mistake, but it baffled me the first time.
DrThrowawayToYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the day I'd bought a copy of The Prince from Amazon, and there was an option like "Notify me about new titles from the following authors: Niccolรฒ Machiavelli"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disney is still making cartoons.
poopmeister1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about American children, but you should be expected to understand that Shakespeare isn't currently alive by 6th grade.
Kosmiik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's concerning
Ride_the_drama_llama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
16yo in English asked if Shakespeare was still alive. No. Most of the class refrained from laughing. William Shakespeare's wife was Ann Hathaway. So he is still alive! Nobody refrained from laughter then. What happens when you spend more time on Hollywood than English.
submittedanonymously ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem I have with this is when you use the phrase, "most of them."
toast-fairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young it never occurred to me that the writers of books I read were alive. For some reason, despite new books coming out, all my authors were dead until proven alive.
clumsy_tacos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a fellow classmate once ask our English teacher if Odysseus was "that horse guy"....she honest to goodness thought Odysseus was the Trojan Horse.
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walk in that kid's house there is probably not a single book anywhere.
stevoblunt83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhh, I knew Shakespeare was dead when I was 11, but I can totally understand if a student didn't know that at that age.
easy_cure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An eighteen year old in my year twelve class once asked this
A_Thin_White_Duke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm with a Year 12 or 13 class, I'm tricked into thinking they're adults until I mention someone like Dustin Hoffman (due to a poetry connection) and they all look at me like I've just made up an alien name. Then I show them his face and a bunch of them go "OH YEAH MR MAGORIUM!".
I did get them to think about watching The Graduate however, so I'll take my small victories.
easy_cure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a year thirteen? In Australia, high school starts at year 7 and finishes at year 12, then you go onto university, TAFE, working or whatever
A_Thin_White_Duke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah in the UK, it's Year 12 for 16-17 year olds and Year 13 for 17-18 year olds. They study for their A-Levels, which lead them into Uni or whatever they do after school.
easy_cure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, awesome. Thanks for explaining :)
benicetogroupies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldnt that make them the bigger kids, since at age 13 they are considered teenagers?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still, I'd imagine that kids start to grasp that Shakespeare's dead at, at the very latest, eight or so.
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once asks me if Hayao Miyazaki is still alive...
straightnochaucer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my students if anyone could name things Shakespeare had written. I got "Romeo and Juliet" and "The Lovely Bones." High school.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 8, we had an assignment to write to our favorite authors. I picked Dr Seuss at first. I got laughed at because he was dead. So I went with my second choice, Roald Dahl. Again, dead. Now people were laughing at me. I was so upset. So I picked Chris Van Allsburg. Most people picked KA Applegate.
I never got a response. :(
matthew28845 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew Shakespeare was dead long before I was 11
NeodymiumDinosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was married to Anne Hathaway so he must have been alive recently /s
intentionally_vague ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should teach them how he may not have even been a single person (sort of like Homer). But was a mask (pseudonym) for writers to create contrevercial material. They'd look at him like some literary renegade. That's how my 7th grade teacher did it and it worked really well. Just an idea
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
except he was definitely a single person?
intentionally_vague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot of reading to be done on the subject. The more I read, the less sure I am. If you haven't dived into this subject I suggest you do. There's a lot to learn, and so so much that will never be known
lfantine ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:13:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. He stopped composing when he started decomposing.
Evning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shakespeare. not Mozart.
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Composing can refer to written works.
[deleted] ยท 318 points ยท Posted at 14:15:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
EvangelineTheodora ยท 538 points ยท Posted at 14:55:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just read the Shakespeare comment and was immensely confused for a moment.
beardedheathen ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:15:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Immensely
EvangelineTheodora ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:33:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I was hoping Google would figure out what I was trying to spell, but it did not.
torgis30 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emits lie
starman28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Einswine
Dreamcast3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's one of them million dollar words right there man
GillianOMalley ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I said "bless your heart" in my mind. Then I saw your comment and took back the blessing.
a_fish_out_of_water ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time travel
SilentEngineer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, I thought it was a joke. Kept waiting for the punch line but it never came.
Justine772 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Granny vampire
L0kitheliar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally same here I was like, wait..... No......?
PhilxBefore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar for most people, Salvador Dali died in '89.
Elgin_McQueen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the exact same thing. Glad I'm not the only one.
thegapinglotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same
Silver_Valley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was even more confused because I had just read the Mandlebrot and Heimlicht comment.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:04:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It boggles my mind that your grandma was born in 1950. Mine was born in 1944, and she's on the lower end of age difference between grandchildren and grandparents.
CydeWeys ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:26:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were born in 1948... Y'all are making me feel old.
4ever4 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:43:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. Grandparents were born between 1915 and 1920 and parents in 1943 and 1947... And I still have one grandma who's 96!
DeedTheInky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man my Grandad was born in 1901, I am so old
4ever4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wowsers
peenlopescreator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My great grandmother was born in 1923, grandparents in 1954, parents in 78 and 73, and my stepfather in 85
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So that means your parents are around my age... God I'm old
nicoleisrad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're old but cool. My parents are around your age and don't know what a reddit is.
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Score!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were born in '68 and '69.
4ever4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok a bit older than me!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I was born in 2000.
4ever4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could still be my kid, I was 25 in 2000! Time fucking flies!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess, but you're barely 40.
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still feels like I'm 22 in my head! HA!
Edit: Thanks for the "barely"!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're from the '70s. You're young! :)
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I keep telling myself! ;)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you're forever 4! ;P
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good one!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is life? :)
4ever4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty good! How about you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, quite well. I'm having a nice Saturday. I hoovered my room, I've been working on my YTPs, I had a nice lunch, and it's just all so relaxing. :)
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice! What's YTP? Are you in the US? I'm in Germany but originally from Canada!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Swedish, born and raised. This is the only place I've ever lived. YTP is YouTube poop. You take different video clips and make something new out of them. One of the most common things to do is to sentence mix. What this means is that you take words, sentences, phrases, or sounds, and edit them together to make the people say wildly different things from the original.
Here is my latest YTP. I think it's a good example of a YTP with lots of effort put into it.
I have two YTPs in the works right now. Well, three, but I haven't worked on the third one in months. I have another video in the works, too, but that's also on ice.
Ich sprache Deutsch, aber ich kann nichts alles verstehe! Es tuts mir leid, eh! ;P
4ever4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have not been to Sweden yet. It's on my list ;) TIL about YTP! I'll check out your video tomorrow since it's midnight and I'm going to bed. Your German seems better than mine! I took classes for 5 months but I still suck! I've been here for one year so hopefully it'll get better.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:13 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learning languages is a lot easier when you're younger. I had one year of German, and then half a year of German where I didn't do much. But I was a lot worse back then than I am now. I occasionally speak German, just because, and I've got a great hold on grammar. My biggest problem right now is that I don't know many words.
S4VN01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma was born in 1955. My mother was born in 1972. I was born in 1993, and have a little one on the way. My daughter will have a great-great grandma who is 90, and a great grandma who is 61.
LiteralPhilosopher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were born in 1927 & 1933; all of their parents right around the turn of the century. What's a "great-great-grandma"? Lol ... pretty sure all of mine died at least 100 years ago.
bourbon4breakfast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeahh, my great great grandparents were all born around the time of the Civil War. Did not meet them.
bourbon4breakfast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys have some really small gaps between generations. I never met a single great grandparent since they all died before I was born. I'm 31 and they were all born in the 1800s.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma was 56 when I was born, and had she been alive, my great-grandma would've been 83.
So there are 18, 21, and 23/24 years between the generations? Wow. If I'm not a virgin at 25, I'll be very surprised! I'm envious.
SodomySeymour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my parents were born in 1954 and 55...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. But people born in 1950 are turning 67 this year, so it's not too strange that they have grandchildren, but geez. One of them is on Reddit?
pinkkittenfur ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:01:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was born a year before he died. My grandma was born thirty years before he died.
Pizzas4Rent ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:04:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa is 91 and wipes his shit on the walls after he craps
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:04:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you were right the first time, unless you believe Hitler escaped to Argentina and died in 1955.
Retrodonte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2017 - 76 =
???
1930
euyyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have a young grandma! My mom was born 2 years before he died.
TostedAlmond ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look up when Pablo Picasso died
LooksGoodEnoughToEat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma was born in the year he first became Germany's chancellor (1933).
HillbillyMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Einstein became Germany's Chancellor?
LooksGoodEnoughToEat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crude....why was I thinking of Hitler? Lmao sorry dude :)
flippityfloppity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was 14ish when Einstein died. He didn't realize until he was much older that they had been alive at the same time, and it really bummed him out to think he could have possibly met one of his heroes and just didn't realize it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Grandpa passed away when I was younger, but it always blew my mind that he was born before the sinking of the Titanic. And my Grandma is still living (she's 102!) so it's incredibly to think of all of the famous people she has outlived.
humancartograph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were born in 1946 & 1947. I feel you.
Cockroach-Boy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few days ago I realized that my great great grandparents were the generation to see my country actually become an independent country. I didn't know how to handle that information. Canada is only celebrating it's 150th year now.
MaenHoffiCoffi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It boggles my mind that my dad spent the first 5 years of his life in a Japanese prison camp in WWII since I still feel about 16 years old. I am actually about to turn 50. Balls.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler died 72 years ago: 2017 - 1945 = 72
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because you thought he died earlier or she was born later?
Lord_Trajan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:02:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that students name...
Albert Einstien
KS_Gaming ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:11:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf... Where's your spoiler alert?
anoncrazycat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:18:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it possible he was confusing him with Hawking? Or am I giving him too much credit?
Tera_GX ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:00:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HASN'T 2016 TAKEN ENOUGH LIVES!?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? When?
RIP, Al
Lhonco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's not too bad. I was very surprised to learn that he only died like 60 years ago. I just always assumed he lived in the times of Pythagoras and such. That is considerably farther away from reality.
wharsmetoothpicson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually reminds me of sitting around the dinner table and someone says something to the effect of "He's (my brother) a little Einstein". My mother had no idea what we were talking about, not only had she never heard of Albert Einstein, she'd never even heard the the term Einstein being used in any context before whatsoever. This was ten years ago & she was in her 40's.
EvanHarper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't seem unreasonable if you've only ever heard of Einstein as a vague cultural reference without learning anything about him as a real person. Slightly ignorant but not stupid at all.
arcticfox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(High School Science Fair)
(A middle aged man enters and is immediately surrounded by parents and students. He signs a couple of autographs.)
Old Lady: Are you Dr. Hathaway?
Hathaway: Yes, I am.
Old Lady: I just love your television show.
Hathaway: Thank you very much.
Old Lady: Tell me, what is Mr. Einstein really like?
Hathaway: Dead.
BoxNumberGavin1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was older than this when I found out Nixon was dead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I played Red Alert 2 when I was younger that had some "realistic" at the time cinematics of Einstein. I legit thought it was real and that he was alive and talking to me. Kids are dumb man
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, of course Einstein's dead. That'd be really weird if I were still alive.
vorin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, were you teaching in the '50s and '60s?
iamdrjonah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, because he knew too much.
covert-pops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's GCSE?
fylth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I remember correctly it stands for General Certificate of Secondary Education, it's what 15/16 year olds in the UK graduate with at the end of Secondary School (which I guess is analogous to High School in the states?)
covert-pops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool cool. Thank you. Yeah high school here is grade 9-12. So age 14-18.
fylth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I see, here mandatory school ends at 16, although many then stay on at school (if their school offers a sixform) or go onto college until 18 to take A levels. Those then lead to university
TotalClintonShill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in pre-school, I was learning about the founding fathers, so naturally I was telling my Dad how cool these guys are. Eventually I asked him if he thinks he can drive me up to see George Washington some day soon. My Dad, logically, says "you know he's dead, right TotalClintonShill?"
I did not know he died and I was inconsolable for a good 30 minutes.
The_Meatyboosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was hopefully confusing him with Stephen hawking
FlatPenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
relevant
willi_con_carne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I'm in a GCSE class I find this halarious
Bearence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took an interpretive reading class as an elective once where it was me and a bunch of pretentious theater majors. One day the prof read a poem by Emerson and this one guy said, "My aunt is Emerson's neighbour! I walk by his house all the time when I visit her!"
The prof didn't even look up from his book as he replied, "That's remarkable considering he's been dead for over a hundred years."
xaelyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flipside: I operated on the assumption that anyone I was reading was dead, and whenever I found out otherwise I was stunned... and also impressed.
This through a Master's degree in philosophy.
Bohnanza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know he was sick
alexxerth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a person in my AP World Geography class have a similar reaction to finding out jesus was dead.
She also, when talking about east europe and west europe, asked "Wait, which way is north?" when looking at a map of europe, with a compass rose in it.
She also asked how do planes fly.
In the same class, not really related to anything, just kind of an outburst.
KerbalSpaceExplorer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't happen to go to a school that starts with a B in the English midlands, do you?
Noctithra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, buddy. Never been to any places in that criteria!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair I thought ghandi was alive until two years ago
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young I didn't really have any idea of politics or public figures at all.
I remember seeing Saddam Hussein on the news (the Iraq war was the hot topic of the time) and seeing as Hitler was the only dictator I'd previously heard of (people would mention Hitler, but never the dates or the fact he died a long, long time ago) I naturally assumed they were the same person.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BTEC**
Valkyrie_of_Loki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a stupid question... I bet there are at least a few famous people that you don't know are dead.
JustinGitelmanMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't necessarily think he was alive but I didn't know his lifespan when I was 14 or 15.. That's not that unreasonable.
I mean, at the very least, I would've assumed he was dead but only in the 90's or something, which is recent enough to be possibly still alive (well, at least 6-7 years ago it was) if you dont specifically know
aquaticonions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dead??? I didn't even know he was sick!
Mandood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just in, apparently Albert Einstein has been dead for over 40 years, heck we'll try to get em anyway!
diamondhead24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like, but how would they realize Einstein is dead. Seriously. Everybody knows him, his quotes and pictures are everywhere. I don't know when he died. Not like he was talking about Abraham Lincoln.
MissMarionette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is me with all the folk singers I've gotten into lately. I didn't know John Denver had died until 5 years ago and when I got into Pete Seeger I learned he had passed like, 6 months prior at the time :(
Youareposthuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Albit? Nah, he ain't dead. He's wicked smaht!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the opposite way every year with Henry Kissinger.
Gubszz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/jaimie-lee
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eureaka!! Einsteins dead?!
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't it 1952 that he died??
Frond_Dishlock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That seems quite reasonable, assuming you were 15/16 in 1955 and they'd just heard the news.
Noctithra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Within the last decade, I'm afraid.
pbzeppelin1977 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find that some people are still alive more surprising.
Mohammed Ali only died last year, fucking hell all I knew about him was black and white stuff and assumed he died years ago.
_supervillain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that kids name? Albert Einstein
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain why you find this stupid? Is the year of his death common knowledge?
WildBilll33t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He probably played too much Red Alert 2.
Emmary_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does GCSE mean?
screen317 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:42:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe this? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Certificate_of_Secondary_Education
All-Shall-Kneel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
year 9-11 usually
Rocky87109 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:03:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I'm a college student(an older than usual one) and I just recently took intro to the visual arts. I just realized the time period in which Picasso was alive. I always had the impression he lived before the 20th century. This probably makes me stupid on a certain level and I'm willing to accept that considering I make it up in other academic areas.
EDIT: And yes I know one of his most famous paintings is about events around the time of World War 2, but I didn't really know jack shit about him, except for his unique art before this.
Uh_I_Say ยท 17834 points ยท Posted at 13:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade ELA, a few chapters into Of Mice And Men:
"What kind of work does George do on the farm?"
"I'm not sure. Probably the same work that everyone else is doing."
"Oh. It must be hard for him to help out, since he's a mouse."
[deleted] ยท 812 points ยท Posted at 15:12:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck reddit.
Frustration-96 ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 16:18:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They always have and still do that.
Skepsis93 ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 16:53:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I think Animaniacs was one of the best shows with Jokes only adults would understand. But they all do it to some degree. It's adults writing the content, you're bound to have jokes geared towards adults even if only by accident in some cases.
BlondieMenace ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:34:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea how Animaniacs got some jokes past the censors. Which makes me wonder about the ones that didn't make it... Freakazoid was another example of that.
frogjg2003 ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 17:40:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why "goodnight everyone" was one of their catch phrases. They were always worried that that episode would be the last episode before the censors cut it.
kevintd ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 17:34:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fingerprints
2068857539 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ewwwww! Gross!!
A_Mouse_In_Da_House ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:00:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodnight, everybody!
Yawehg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:51:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would that we could.
ItsPronouncedMo-BEEL ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:43:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tiny Toons had some great ones, too. I remember one taking place at some sort of "celebrity" event. "Oh, look, Jay Leno's here." Then up walks Jay Leno, carrying his gigantic chin in a wheelbarrow.
Then Roseanne Barr screeched the national anthem from the balcony.
MrWhims ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:11:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pianist!!
slick8086 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure about that... I'm pretty sure cartoons were for primarily for adults in the beginning, being that there were in the cinema.
Frustration-96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:01:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thinking back to Mickey Mouse in the late 1920's, I think since then it's been a mix of both in the majority of cases.
Do you have any examples of only adult focused cartoons around that time? I'm pretty much making assumptions here so I might be wrong.
slick8086 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My point of view on this matter is only backed up by vague recollection of a documentary I can't find any more, so I may be wrong too, but the documentary was suggesting that when animation was first in the cinema, children were rarely in the audience, so the idea that animation was for children didn't fit.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:09:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me about the rabbits George
knuckles523 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:20:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Loony Toons were originally made to be shown inbetween movies at the theatre. One ticket got you a feature movie (big stars and budget), one or two "B movies" and a few shorts (cartoons, newsreels, serials like Buck Rodgers, Flash Gordon, Superman, and short comedies like the The Three Stooges) in between the movies. Cartoons that we think of as being for kids were originally made for adults.
saintcosmo ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:48:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The primary audience for those cartoons was originally adults. The aired before feature films.
MeltedToButter ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:08:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, you just blew my mind. I've read Of Mice and Men and watched the Yeti cartoons, but I never made the connection!!
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:14:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
donteatacowman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:56:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then a cartoon I grew up with, Cyberchase, referenced the CARTOON referencing the book... "I'm gonna love him and keep him and call him George!"
critic2029 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:11:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of how I finally understood why when Warner's did their celeb charactures the guy who was always paper thin with the mustache was William Holden from Thin Man.
justanobserver27925 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:09:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? I remember being utterly thrilled to realize that there was a bigger story behind that cartoon.
whitesuburbanmale ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just spent 10 minutes laughing at daffy saying "you're hurting me. Put me down, please."
ShiraCheshire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't seen any of those since I was a kid. Going back to see them now, a lot of them aren't all that funny to me anymore. That clip was pretty great though. Just the way Daffy Duck says his lines is hilarious.
JoJackthewonderskunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU'RE A YETI!
thr3tc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We read this book aloud in high school. I, a small guy, grew up on Looney Tunes and mastered Lennie's voice. My best friend, a big fellow, mastered George's. So I read Lennie's parts and he read George's. One of my favorite in-class high school memories.
Haylett777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:20:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why Looney Tunes are the best cartoons that ever existed. They had humor that was for all ages, the art style was great, memorable characters, and the music was just perfectly in sync with the animation. I love watching them and finding new jokes that went over my head when I was younger. Now a days most cartoons are just terrible. However there have been a few that shine brighter than most.
ThePancakeChair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:56 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I remember that cartoon clip now that I see it again, and had no idea it was a literary allusion. Mind blown, and it's only 8am.
greenfoxcut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I need to read the book now
dasher11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's another great example of a dumb question in the comments of that video, where one brilliant you tuber wonders how Bugs and Daffy could tunnel through the ocean. "How could they dig a tunnel through water?"
JimmyLegs50 ยท 1252 points ยท Posted at 15:08:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know, he might have gotten that misconception from Looney Tunes. There was a big abominable snowman guy who would say, "And I will hug him and pet him and pet him and squeeze him and call him George." It was clearly a reference to OMaM, but the student might not have quite understood the context.
Gothyck ยท 1175 points ยท Posted at 15:37:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe it was the title of the book.
JimmyLegs50 ยท 320 points ยท Posted at 15:42:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft. I mean yeah, if you want to go with the obvious reason. Personally, I'm going with Bugs Bunny.
Rubyheart255 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:58:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't go with Bugs if you're going past Albuquerque, he always makes the wrong turn.
WookinForNub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Going with BB is always a safe bet.
Cedira ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:53:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Often misread as The Mouse and Men.
GroovyBoomstick ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:23:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"A mouse and his man"
Darktidemage ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:02:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Titles mice and men. Must be about a mouse and a man. Duh.
KeybladeSpirit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:47:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's mice and men. Obviously George is two mice in a trenchcoat so he can look like a man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want this to happen somehow
Haramburglar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:06:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So is this George not a mouse? I've never read it
JimmyLegs50 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:54:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, George and Lenny are friends who are on the road looking for work, and they get a job on a farm.
Haramburglar ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:35:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see, Thanks for answering and not just downvoting a question
JimmyLegs50 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As it should be. :-)
1Maple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That too.
GroovinWithAPict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That. That sounds right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just maybe.
LordRevanish ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:14:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or maybe he was just trolling. I know I did stuff like that all the time on purpose to get a kick out of it. Or maybe he was just a dumbass.
OnStilts ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 15:41:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm convinced this is it. This cartoon's spoof on OMaM was my own first introduction to the literary classic and I could imagine myself thinking the same thing before actually reading the book.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:45:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea that this reference was hidden away. But you're totally right.
Retskcaj19 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:07:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe they read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and so they understand how intelligent mice are.
OnStilts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even more intelligent than the dolphins, right?
Retskcaj19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
Mice
Dolphins
Humans
wakeupwill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So not only did Looney Toons change a great hunter into a fool, but they also turned George into a mouse.
Cheese_Bits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only a Nimrod would believe that.
JimmyLegs50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:17 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a nin-cow-poop.
iLoveLamp83 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:35:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?"
Jessiefleur ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my kids were small, I would attack them with hugs and kisses and say "and I will hug you and pet you and squeeze you and call you George!" They loved it. Then, one day we were watching old cartoons and they saw that bit. They were AMAZED that the cartoon copied Mommy;-) Fast forward to high school and the joy I took watching them realize the link when reading Of Mice and Men.
Sombrere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a cat named for that Yeti quote
Yappydog2015 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never put those two together until now.
Radioactive24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You also have the old School "Tale of Two Mice" cartoon film, which wouldn't help either.
Maybe.
sgtobnoxious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a few chapters in. Excuses are not okay at that point.
Leohond15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If a kid is old enough to read that book they should realize the difference...
damnination333 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. How have I never made that connection?!
Narissis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If anything, that would make him think George was a rabbit, since it was always Bugs that the yeti was doing that to.
Roy_Guapo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:07:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww........
Mind blown. Like Lenny's. :(
Those pages are one of two times I had to go back and re-read what happened due to death-based disbelief. The other time was when those bastards took Fred Weasly from us.
beerchugger709 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh man, I grew up on that show. Do kids still watch it these days?
JimmyLegs50 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My kids do, at leastโwe have all of the DVD & Blu-Ray collections. The day my children argued over whether Sylvester or Wile. E. Coyote was funnier was the day I knew I'd succeeded as a father.
beerchugger709 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:57:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're doing the
lord'sMel Blanc's work!DingleDoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Foghorn Leghorn is where it's at
grandiosetoad ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:13:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The older I get, the more I appreciate Foghorn Leghorn. He's basically your dad with access to cartoon physics.
JimmyLegs50 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"โThatโs a joke, I say thatโs a joke son."
grandiosetoad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Boy's about as sharp as a sack full a'wet mice."
grumpy-mom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was talking about a bunny rabbit anyway
JimmyLegs50 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:48:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hm, yes that does poke a hole in my otherwise flawless Animated Yeti theory
EDIT: Yeti, not Sasquatch.
Airship_Aficionado ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
X
Blaze_fox ยท 2097 points ยท Posted at 14:24:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... close enough.
if i recall, george was repeatedly described as very large and brutally strong... but also liked to PET mice (but ended up killing them when he did)
Uh_I_Say ยท 3328 points ยท Posted at 14:29:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lennie's the big dude, George is the smarter one that takes care of him. This student thought that Lennie was going off to work on a farm and George was the name of the mouse he kept in his pocket.
CognitivelyDecent ยท 922 points ยท Posted at 14:39:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is so cute Edit; terrible comprehension but cute
Poem_for_your_sprog ยท 381 points ยท Posted at 16:58:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'The book,' he began, with a click of his pen,
'Concerns the endeavours of mice and of men.
Like novels before it and after, my friend,
It starts at the open, and ends at the end.
'The middle's a muddle of troubles and cares -
Occasions develop and lead to affairs.
Occurrences follow as part of the plot -
Descriptions expound on the fiction a lot.
'The characters grow, but it comes at a price.
I loved with a passion the part with the mice!
A classic,' he finished. The teacher was still.
'You just read the title though, didn't you, Bill?'
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 17:03:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are in the presence of a genius.
CognitivelyDecent ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:44:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got a poem for my sprog!!!
Never thought this stupid comment would get so much attention.
SneakyPope ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:31:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roses are red, violets are blue, I loved your poem so much, I did one too.
Guano_Loco ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:08:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are far and away my favorite person to upvote. I look forward to buying your first book of context linked posts.
CatfaceMeowzer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:20:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite one so far.
Zero_kys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:07:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it Bill
tgamm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:29:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Especially since George shoots him at the end
tarsn ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:32:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
with a tiny, mouse-sized gun
PMURTITSIFUH8TRUMP ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:55:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, spoiler dude...
skyeandjojo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:14:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it really count as a spoiler when the book was published 80 years ago?
PMURTITSIFUH8TRUMP ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:18:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I was just busting balls.
christianfd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, doesn't seem like I need to read that book anymore.
Ih8YourCat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:08:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it was terrible comprehension. He probably just didn't read the book.
CognitivelyDecent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:40:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the worst type of comprehension
Ih8YourCat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:02:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternative comprehension.
SerialAntagonist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't quite get that, so I peeked at the source:
For your edit to appear on a separate line, you can either doublespace or put two spaces after the first line to make it single-spaced. Also, a colon makes more sense there than a semicolon. Cheers!
thr2000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:06:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you were downvoted. I had a hard time understanding the comment as well, and you weren't mean about your suggestions.
idwthis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy's name is /u/SerialAntagonist, so maybe those people who read usernames thought the comment was....antagonizing?
I mean, I don't find it to be, but reddit is a fickle beast.
Swamptrooper ยท 696 points ยท Posted at 14:47:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must have been a shock when his dead pocket mouse killed him
fucjk spoiler dont look
Uh_I_Say ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 14:50:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how he managed to hold the gun.
SFButts ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 15:22:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No idea but I'm sure it was adorable
e: There's Gold in them ther Hills.. ty
PrivilegeCheckmate ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:54:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, god, now I want Ratatouille version of Of Mice and Men. They could use the voices of Pinky and the Brain in there too.
Adrien_Jabroni ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:35:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same way he helps on the farm.
mphelp11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:13:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adorably
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:07:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilers!
Special_opps ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:08:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Darth Vader is luke's father
Lukethehedgehog ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:13:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pff, yeah right. Next you're going to tell me Scar kills Mufasa.
tocilog ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was the Stampede! Scar was trying to help him out.
StephenshouldbeKing ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:39:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R/ScarDidNothingWrong
Minas-Harad ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:32:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course! If he was trying to hurt Mufasa, he would have said "long die the king," obviously.
PM_ME_BIRDS_OF_PREY ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:51:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And please don't tell me the Titanic sinks at the end.
Minas-Harad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah dude, didn't you hear? It's unsinkable!
Deeliciousness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:38:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that scene traumatized me as a small child.
BlondieMenace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As Bambi's mothers death traumatized your parents... Disney must be in cahoots with the APA.
Death_Star_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:16:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Romeo and Juliet commit suicide due to a sitcom misunderstanding.
randomphoenix03 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:05:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Han Solo dies.
Special_opps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:53 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, that is more recent
Osumsumo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:20:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you like to make Internet Explorer yur default browser?
Osumsumo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you like to make Internet Explorer your default browser?
NickKappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I missed a meme here... want to fill me in?
kaybee41906 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snape kills Dumbledore!
autovonbismarck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it's cool, it was published 80 years ago.
If it was 79 though - I'd be mad.
nzodd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I greatly appreciate your spoiler text.
stedfunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude! Spoilers!
jlhc55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SPOILER ALERT!
stickmancee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The book has been out for decades I think you get a pass
PM_ME_POKEMON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pocket mouse is the new pocket sand.
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could use the spoiler code mentioned in the side bar so that
[this](/spoiler)
turns into
this.
CardsLafter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just... Just look at the flowers.
RuneKatashima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a great spoiler.
skulltrumpetman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he interpreted it correctly and we're all wrong. Maybe every character in the story is a mouse besides Lennie, and he's crafted this entire fictional story to help deal with the crippling loneliness that comes with his disability. None of it is real. It's all happening in Lennie's head. In truth, he's just been sitting in the barn playing with mice the entire time.
Uh_I_Say ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A-, needs more detailed evidence to develop claim.
Blaze_fox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:33:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ehh close enough.
i made a bit of a mistake (i havent read thebook since school and my memory is shite) but yeah, kinda... slightly understand where hes coming from but only BARELY
Tripanes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm smelling a disney movie on the horizon.
xMASSIVKILLx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, The Green Mile then?
Paracelcus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, i think I'd watch that adaptation. I'd be interested in how they handle the end.
adamw408 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Minsc and Boo together again!
tigerscomeatnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is easily remembered from cartoons, see here
Spongeborp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't the mouse die in the first chapter though?
CKlandSHARK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's a big guy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be an interesting rewrite
wakeupwill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His mental image of Of Mice and Men was probably influenced by Looney Toons
IClogToilets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
phhhh, that is such a copy off of the Abominable Snowman cartoon I use to watch as a kid.
CasuallyProfessional ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. This is where the cartoon trope of "which way did he go George? Which way did he go?" came from.
RoboIcarus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was just 3 levels deep, and WE'RE all the mouse man . . .
hypertown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I always imagine George and Lennie as Lennie and Carl from the Simpsons.
randomaccount178 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So is that maybe the source of the Bugs Bunny Abominable Snowman?
butt_stuff_savant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"takes cares of him"
LordRobin------RM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way to remember this is that the Abominable Snowman in Looney Tunes names Bugs "George".
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what you get for skimming through chapters instead of reading.
Truan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would put such a crazy spin on the book
SirRogers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be Disney's next animated feature.
screen317 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:36:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
Mahler5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For you.
[deleted] ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 14:34:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jakeeighties ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 14:50:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He liked to pet soft things. He had mice in his pocket that he would pet, he broke a lady's neck when he want touching her hair, and he imagined a giant talking bunny when George was gonna shoot him
TheBreastIncarnate ยท 248 points ยท Posted at 14:59:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why the giant guy in the old Bugs Bunny cartoons would pet Bugs too hard and squeeze him tight. Plus, when Bugs would escape, the giant would say"Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?"
Lucy_in_the_wardrobe ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 15:07:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I will hug you and squeeze you and call you George" "My name's not George! It's Sylvester!" "I can't say Sylvester, George"
AndyDandy162 ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 15:01:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... Goddamn, I never made that connection. That's genius.
Ruddiver ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:51:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I consider myself a pop culture savant and I totally missed this one. This is like a massive TIL to me. The abominable snowman that pets Bugs Bunny says I am going to name him George.
j3utton ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:21:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Elmyra from Tiny Toons, also influenced by Lenny.
ScenicART ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:10:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... How ? their names were Lennie and George...
jrsooner ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:15:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because most people aren't going to read of Mice and Men before watching Bugs Bunny.
EDIT: Spelling correction
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:36:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because I watched cartoons as a child and didn't read OMaM until middle school.
jrsooner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fixed typo, meant to say aren't and not are.
AndyDandy162 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:17:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been a while since I watched those cartoons, and I'm not always the brightest person. I guess it just sailed over my head.
iminsideabox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:30:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...how many mice have you killed?
AndyDandy162 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... I didn't mean no harm, George!
paulwhite959 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:42:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn it. I never realized that.
JohnBreed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. How did I never noticed?
everlastingSnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally got the reference as I was reading the end of the book in high school (not sure how it took me that long). I nearly cried in class and my childhood was ruined. :(
Blaze_fox ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:53:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
theme in the story - the soft things get bigger throughout it
punis_mightier ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:01:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soo.... it's a story about erections?
Blaze_fox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAH
my_unique_user_id ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the giant bunny was Harvey.... Or was it Darko's Frank???
Daedalus871 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the puppy he killed.
Lennie deserved to die.
enmunate28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's a jimmy Stewart movie.
MazelTough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, spoiler tag please!
trollinn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:51:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He likes to pet anything soft, including mice, puppies, bunnies, and eventually the woman's hair. The bunnies were what George told Lennie about; that they were going to have a farm and Lennie could tend to the rabbits. He used it to distract him and calm him down, and at the end so that Lennie's last thoughts were happy ones.
IAmNotNathaniel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you may be confused with looney tunes..
mistressfluffybutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a reference to a Robert Burns poem To a Mouse "....The best laid schemes o' mice an men/ Gang aft agley" are the lines.
sellyberry ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:08:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I will love him and hug him and name him George"
elmorte ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:05:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoiler alert! Damn...
ronthat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:28:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus comes back to life!
Spoiled that one for you, haaah!
ihazacorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Son of a......!
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
itll help in your engish exams, trust me. well, if youre in thr UK anwyay
Fallenangel152 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. OMAM and Macbeth here.
pearglass ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean Lenny. George was a normal guy.
Blaze_fox ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:06:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so ive been told a few times now.
but yeah i know, its been an age since i read it
asdfAlec ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:10:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Close enough
Crash_Test_Dummy66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... I just understood the title.
Darktidemage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"large and brutally strong" for a mouse....
frustumator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/_WCiBPjckTg?t=59s
SolarRad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, spoilers >.<
Blaze_fox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:23:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the book is almost a hundred years old and used in schools as a way to teach english, im not exactly spoiling shit
MacDerfus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He accidentally killed anyone and anything
Edit: Lenny did, not george.
jak-o-shadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thought that was rabbits. Hence why they used the reference in Bugs Bunny.
"Tell me about the rabbits, George"
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you read it it starts with mice being killed, then becomes larger animals gradually
but he WANTS rabbits to pet, doesnt ever get them though
jak-o-shadow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have read it but it was 30 years ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No George is a mouse
BrodmannsArea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilers, m8!
slick8086 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, it looks like you don't recall.... George is the smart one Lennie is the "special" one.
ch1ck3n100 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:15:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best thing I've ever read on Reddit.
Dynamite_Shovels ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:27:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend at secondary school had dyslexia, so he had a huge fondness for blindly using spellchecker on any essays he did.
We had an essay due on Of Mice and Men and he let me check through it. I laughed for days when he referred to the main characters on every occasion as 'Lenin and Grog'.
Pretty much ruined Of Mice and Men for me, I can't think of the book or movie without thinking of the main characters as Lenin and Grog.
stealthcircling ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:21:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my day, we used real words for classes.
SorenxD123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry if this is a just as stupid question, but what is ELA?
Uh_I_Say ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English Language Arts.
CthulhuFhtagnngathF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English and art together? In what country?
helpwitheating ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no
ElderCunningham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes
CatLover99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay
DrJackLumber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He couldnt even read sparknotes for this? I mean thats how I got through it and it was all good
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i also had a kid in my 10th grade class who thought george and lennie were mice...
covert-pops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is ELA?
Uh_I_Say ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English Language Arts.
covert-pops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen that abbreviation. Thank you.
MademoiselleFromage ยท 4304 points ยท Posted at 14:10:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a teacher, but I'm a Federal Budget Analyst and had to train a new employee who had apparently been working in budgets for 20 years or so, so should have been able to quickly pick things up. She wasn't.....when I finally got her on the right track with our year end financial reports, I told her she was close but her numbers were off, so double check them. She responded with "Well, wouldn't someone else just fix that?" Uh no...that's exactly what you get paid to do, so you need to put the CORRECT numbers in the report so we can publish it. What on earth would we do with almost correct financial reports? The next day she just couldn't figure it out, and I said "you're really close, it's probably just rounding" she said, "Does it matter? How do you know when you should round it up or down?" I said, yes it matters, just use normal rounding rules! She asked what those are....I very slowly said, "...you know....0.5 or higher your round up?" She had never been familiarized with that apparently.
In the end I really felt like I would have been better off teaching a 3rd grader.
SJHillman ยท 2049 points ยท Posted at 15:34:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My degree is in IT, but we were required to take an accounting class. Almost everyone in the class was a business major of some sort, with a good half of them going for accounting specifically. By the second week, it had devolved into basic math lessons because an overwhelming number of students didn't understand the concept of .1 = 10% = 1/10. It sucked for me because the prof was really good and I otherwise enjoyed it, we just lost a lot of time to elementary level math in a college course.
BearimusPrimal ยท 1726 points ยท Posted at 15:41:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This explains so much about why my accounting degree required that we have taken calculus prior to even starting any actual accounting courses.
I've never used a log in any of my work, but now I realiz they were just weeding out the people who couldn't count.
chainmailtank ยท 1218 points ยท Posted at 17:05:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Believe me, being able to do calculus definitely does not mean you can count.
Source: Physics major.
St3phiroth ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 17:49:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I can solve triple integrals in my head, but will pull out a calculator to make sure I get a 15% tip or bill split right.
Edit: Thanks for all the math lessons on calculating 15%. It was mostly just the first example I could think of where I always second guess and check myself with a calculator.
sapereaud33 ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 18:00:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the real reason I tip 20%, it's much easier to calculate mentally.
stripes361 ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 18:06:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10% is even easier. /s
Call_Me_Kev ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 18:23:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easier on your wallet too
espo1234 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:46:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hence why he had "/s".
Chris11246 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:56:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0% is even easier. /s
A_Math_Debater ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:23:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easier on your wallet too
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:26:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
randomponyguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E T A M
T A M E
A M E T
pm_me_downvotes_plox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
recursion
this_guy_fvcks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dine and dash is even easier. /ns
ShadowCory1101 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:21:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not eating at all is even easier. /s
nemo_sum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even sarcastically.
localhostrulez ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:14:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, it doesn't need to be precise anyway. I just move the decimal, half that, and add it all (rounding up if anything).
TheInsecureGoat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:20:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That requires you to store a number in your head while doing other operations though.
Pushups_are_sin ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 20:45:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily my registers are 16-bit
ofthedove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you truncate the change you can handle bills up to $127 with 8 bit registers, save that die space for more functional units.
r3djak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh... Thanks for the tip!
Faithbringer777 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:14:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.....but dont you just calculate 10% mentally and then figure out what half of that is and add it to the first number?
sapereaud33 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:28:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just double the first digit and move the decimal, that way I only need to do one piece of arithmetic. Also I was just raised to tip 20%, my initial comment was mostly a joke.
ericvulgaris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so you just give 5 extra dollars, right? /s
AlwaysChildish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Move the decimal one place to the left then double that number for the uninitiated
Crocodilefan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tip 30% because it makes me feel good about myself even though I'm an otherwise shitty person.
JohnnyFoxborough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much easier to just always give them $1. No math necessary.
PM_meyourGradyWhite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except when there are six people at the table, then $1 x 6 people is more.....than $1, right? I think.
marbotty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's 6%. This is why I always dine with 14 other people so we can get the tip right.
BloodFartTheQueefer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:20:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I tip 1 dollar. No math.
Also, they can't be paid below minimum wage anyway
BustyStClair5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Federal minimum wage for servers is $2.13 an hour. FYI
BloodFartTheQueefer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1) I'm in Canada
2) Pretty sure the federal minimum wage trumps that after tips. So if someone doesn't make minimum wage after accounting for tips, their employer is obligated to pay the difference.
BustyStClair5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:52 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're supposed to, but most of the time they don't. Not here in Georgia anyway.
I'm in America, btw.
BloodFartTheQueefer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:41 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I think people should focus more on notifying the average person that they have a right to the federal minimum wage.
BustyStClair5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:20 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree completely. If everybody demanded it like we should then it might actually happen more often.
470ronin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:09:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Solving them isn't the hard part. Setting them up properly is where it can get tricky.
St3phiroth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:01:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, but a calculator won't help you with that.
whadupbuttercup ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here are some decent, non-exact, estimating rules of thumb I find easy to remember.
1/10 = 10% = 0.10
1/9 = 11.11% = 0.11111 ~ 11% -> about 20-9, and consequently 1/11 is about 0.09
1/8 = 12.5% = 0.125 ~ 12% -> about 20-8 and consequently 1/12 is about 0.08
1/7 = 14.28% = 0.1428 ~ 14% -> about 7x2 and consequently 1/14 is about 0.07
1/6 = 16.66% =0/16666 ~ 16% -> about 10+6 and consequently 1/16 is about 0.06
1/5 = 20% = 0.20
1/4 = 25% = 0.25
I know the relationships are confusing and coincidental, but you'll remember the approximate numbers most of the time and you can pretty easily determine which is which.
While it's not useful for anything rigorous, but it's very useful for doing things quickly. For instance, if you find out with your boss that your company is considering moving production to Puerto Rico because of special treatment by the local government and because they think it will make it easier to get supplies from Latin America, but if you you read once that shipping might be hampered by Jones Act restrictions which best estimates say effectively add between 7%-15% to most goods on the island, you can quickly determine that you're company is going to pay an extra thousand dollars for somewhere between every $6,000 to $14,0000 you would have spent for a factory on the mainland.
If you know the cost of the materials you're going to be using you can make a case with decent numbers using simple mental math on the fly to determine whether there might be unforeseen impediments. If, after further study you find there likely will be, you can explain your reasoning and encourage your boss to seek a better deal or not move production.
PM_meyourGradyWhite ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:53:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perfectly fine for estimates, because anyone who prepares proposals and arguments knows that the same data can be used to present a case FOR or AGAINST. It mostly depends on the presentation and other factors, like the mood and direction of the company.
quidam08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My eyes glazed over after 10%. This is why I don't know if I'm bad at math or just hate numbers because I can't read them quickly like I can words.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude..... Seriously? I don't even know what's taught in Calc two. Sometimes I daydream about being smart enough to figure out the rate of a guy walking down a moving escalator. To solve your issue easy: Move the decimal over one place to the left, then add half of that value to it.
St3phiroth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:37:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I know how to do it in my head. I just don't trust it because I seem to fail at the simple stuff, so I feel the need to double check myself with a calculator every single time.
Honestly I failed Calc 2 twice in college because I couldn't seem to grasp why it was important and what I was really going to use it for. And wtf we were "modeling" with integrals and derivatives. I then got an internship where we actually used electrical engineering and calculus on real problems and that's when it all clicked and things made so much more sense. Got a full time job there after graduation and used calculus a lot until I decided to switch careers and now I'm a professional food blogger and web developer. If I ever need to measure the volume of a baked donut (toroidal surface) in the future, I have it covered!
spanktastic2120 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Move the decimal, thats 10%. Add half of that to it, thats 15%.
$23.44 -> $2.34 (10%)
$2.34/2 = $1.17 (5%)
$2.34 + $1.17 = $3.51 (15%)
Its easier to do 20% imo, because then you just double after moving the decimal. I'm not implying you don't know how to find 15% of a bill, but this is the easiest way i know of and maybe you, or anyone else who makes it this deep in the comments, will find this helpful.
BeaconInferno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a physics major but this is me lol
iamtoastshayna69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't do calculus but I can easily to Quadradic equations, polynomials and trinomials. (Among other algerbraic equations) Yet I still have to ask my customers what 50% off of 3.50 is. (I can't ever find the calculator and the till doesn't do markdowns on it's own.) I can do math if I write it down but it is impossible for me to do it in my head and I suck at simple math (And word problems apparently, they are my biggest weakness in the math world and the only problems I ever got wrong in my college Algerbra 1 and 2 class.)
malfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15%? Just move the dot left once. Call this "tip". Add half of it to itself.
Or to put it another way:
tip += tip/2
Boom. 15% tip.
masheduppotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take 10% and then half of that and now you have 15%.
ThatTrashBaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/humblebrag? Idk, good on you anyway
CatOnTheCouch ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 19:26:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why count when you can approxiamte?
I'm studying CS and a Prof recently drew 5 lines at the blackboard and just said "Let's assume these are eight" because he couldn't be bothered to draw 3 more to illustrate his point.
chainmailtank ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 19:57:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My field was astrophysics, where we were generally comfortable with pi being either 1 or 10, depending on what was easier.
river4823 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:02:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I took an astro course I quickly got the sense that it was not what you might call an "exact science", but it really hit home when I saw, written in my textbook, "2 โ 1".
klitmissen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:49:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A mass of magnitude 1025 kg? Hmm, that's not the important part so lets just assume it doesn't interfere with everything else.
elcarath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:28:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Students in my class once said that the average human is approximately one metre tall, to simplify the math.
The professor was greatly satisfied.
laowai_shuo_shenme ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:41:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's got numbers in it, it's not real math!
SCHOJO ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:36:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this "2" showing up in my formula? I don't see any essential "twoness" in this problem.
titterbug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably because of an implicit derivative.
Karranor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the story where half of the students failed to recognize a "9" on the blackboard. (it was the n*p*q<9 guideline of approximation in statistics)
They only figured it out after one student had the courage to ask a minute later. :D
Sexualwhore ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:46:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can count firm. Am physics
Kanotari ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My calculus class happened to have mostly band kids in it. In music, most kids are taught to count rests (in 4/4 time at least) as 1-2-3-4, 2-2-3-4, 3-2-3-4, etc.. Our class made a boneheaded addition mistake on the board, and our teacher made us count to ten out loud as a class. It went: 1-2-3-4-2-shit.
chainmailtank ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:09:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, that reminds me of when our band atten-hut changed. Formerly, when called to attention, we'd say "Hut! Chh!" and the 'chh' was a snap where we raised our heads. Well the next year, they decided to eliminate the 'chh' and just go to full attention on the Hut. So the call and response for 3/4 of the band went (predictably) like this: "Band! Atten-HUT!" "HUT CHH! SHIT!"
Kanotari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess, the Shit was in time?
chainmailtank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was marching band. We did everything in time except play music.
Venia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've concluded after 3 years of calculus for my CS degree, being able to do calculus actually decreases your ability to do normal arithmetic and counting.
KnowledgeIsDangerous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? You have to understand operations, but numeracy is out the window. Does your calculator have a pi button and an e button? Those are all the numbers you need. Bonus points if it can operate using i too.
Theghost129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literary geniuses still need to recite the alphabet when using alphabetical order
Daerkannon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot how to count after taking calculus.
this_guy_fvcks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah as a pure math major who lived with an accounting major, it was always me that people threw bullshit arithmetic questions at. I was like, "Bitch, I work with algebraic structures all day. Ask the guy whose major has the word 'counting' in it."
r1243 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
student currently taking HL chemistry (kinda like AP I guess), managed to fail a test the other day because (among other things) I managed to forgot about half of the periodic table and decided that group 15 has got to have 3 electrons in their outermost shells.
more seriously, I'm supposed to start learning calculus in like three weeks or something and I'm missing things so basic it isn't even funny, I blame my teacher in grade 8 who decided I can totally figure things out on my own and tried to put me on a solo accelerated curriculum (spoiler: I just spent the whole year playing games on my school-given iPad instead of learning)
smart_a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physics version of maths is full of shortcuts like using only the first nonzero term of a taylor series and cancelling pi with 3.
stevoblunt83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very little counting in calculus, lots of integrals and derivatives though!
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But fortunately you rarely have to count any more
halborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get so busy with multiplication and division that you start to think of addition as "just listing things" and forget that some of those things can be safely combined.
pumpkinhead002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electrical engineer here. Can confirm.
AwkwardGinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My physics teacher in high school used to joke that he was really good at calc but couldn't count much higher than 5 or 6
ILikePain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its okay just say that number approximates to one.
Krail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I figure it means you can at least memorize formulas, though.
u38cg2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whole point of Lebesgue integration is never having to experience numbers in their raw form ever again.
evilheartemote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Completely hopeless with anything involving planes or graphs, yet I'm in business and taking comp sci/discrete math courses. I can count, and quite well at that; I just can't do the weird spatial BS that took up so much of my high school calc class.
anon445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, that's what combinatorics is for!
PM_ME_YOUR_MICS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah right. So how many planets do we have currently?
chainmailtank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many do WE have? Like, one. And that's arguable. If you mean how many are in the solar system... it depends. At least eight. At most somewhere over 700,000. If you insist on including Pluto for sentimental reasons, then no fewer than 13.
BomberMeansOK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only numbers in physics: one, two, and many.
bigkev242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
Source: Professional structural engineer
that_how_it_be ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely one of the hardest courses I ever took was mostly about counting. Fucking discrete math.
inthrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll believe you if you give me THREeve reasons.
nikkitgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. I'm a senior in engineering and the other day I was shown a basic algebra problem. I could find the derivative or integral way faster than I could solve for x
aPurpleLiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Math major here, can confirm. I can do integration by parts in my head but I frequently miscount when telling the hostess how many seats we'll need at a restaurant.
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:32 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anything above 9 isn't real math anyway.
ProspectiveQuant ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:53:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand where this guy went to business precisely because of requirements like this in every good business school.
boinGfliP14 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:57:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Logs are pre-calc. Did you mean limits?
BearimusPrimal ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:58:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck if I know, I took my d and moved onto shit like she'll corporations, laundering, and why these things are "bad" but totally legal if you use the right words to avoid taxes.
It's like soveigrn citizens, but for business, but real
espo1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my school they do logs in algebra 2 and limits in pre calc...
meghonsolozar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:59:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*e you dropped this
BearimusPrimal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listen. I do the numbers. We're weeding out bad counters, not bad readers and spellers.
sysop073 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bad news about e
meghonsolozar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
K
tarrasque ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:53:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use either for my work, but man, calc and stats were some of the most eye-opening classes I took in HS and college.
defiancy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:21:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is especially true in the corporate accounting world. I cant imagine why you would need calculus to locate variances on the balance sheet or analyze ledger data.
A better skill would be a "Where's Waldo Book" where waldo is a numerical variance.
AnEpiphanyTooLate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:58:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this explains a lot about schooling in general. If you can do advanced stuff you'll never use, you'll have no problem doing the basics of your job.
BearimusPrimal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:04:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the one time you do need that high level stuff, and your the only person that remembers it, you'll be given additional duties at no additional pay for your expertise.
palordrolap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benford's law to check for potentially crooked numbers and compound interest are probably the first two places you might need a logarithm in accounting, I think.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:52:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Logs aren't calculus..
Solarisphere ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:57:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Natural logarithms (log base e) is used a ton in calculus, and I imagine that's how they found the value of e once upon a time. They're very closely related, but they just don't have that much overlap at lower levels of math.
Xtinguish ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:09:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! It is a number that was found through a limit the limit as n approaches infinity of (1+ 1/n)n
ForePony ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:30:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught my friend who is going into a business master's program this. She didn't seem too pleased. Neither did everyone else at the table.
They were expecting D&D and instead got a math lesson.
Xtinguish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the pandigtal approximation on a sticky note on my monitor because when I learned about it I was drunk and thought it was amazing.
localhostrulez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OK, wow... I know differential equations, I do a lot of calculus based physics, I know exactly where to use e, and somehow I didn't know that's where they derived it from. I was probably told at one point, and promptly forgot and never used it.
Xtinguish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not 100 percent if that was the original way they found it but that's the definition I know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, I work in engineering so I've done more than my share of calculus. They're absolutely related, as most maths concepts are, but still not the same thing.
TenNeon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:11:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's forestry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BearimusPrimal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Full calc. Like, calculus eludes the shit out of even today. But as my prof said, a d is a degree so I just moved on.
My dim memory of it does lead me to believe it could be useful for predicting future changes, like costs vs hours when cost is variable as hours grow, etc.
But fuck all that, I have Excel.
resting_parrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would be surprised at the amount of people in upper level calculus who can't do basic algebra.
Zaintiraris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sitting here remembering earning my accounting degree, coming out of it into an IT role, and realizing that my greatest takeaway was the skill of not falling asleep in endless boring meetings. Even for adding and subtracting, I call up a calculator. I know it won't be wrong.
BearimusPrimal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Truth. I slept through most of my courses enough that a prof used the projector to put a live feed of my head on desk on the front of the class while she taught.
No animosity, I knew the material, I just worked full time and slept rarely while in school full time.
Definitely_Working ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yep. thanks the masses of douchebags who had no skills in highschool but choose a major because everyone is just expected to go to college , so they choose a random business degree so they can consider themselves some sort of financial shark. i noticed that so much, people going into majors they had no passion or talent for just because the expectation is that you have to get a college education. so for ones that require hard skills (like math) theyve really gotta weed people out or dumb down the course so much that the degree ends up meaning nothing. in my experience they did the latter more often. my college experience was a complete waste of time due to all my programming courses being dumbed down due to how incompetent alot of the students were because they didnt have any affinity to the subject. it was like every course had to start at a beginner level. biggest waste of money in my entire life.
ahfdjczbcj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are in arts now
Balticataz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, it's to get the math department funding. Calculus doesn't matter for any other type of math except harder calculus and calculus with a twist
Scheffsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
log isn't exactly calculus, that's pre Cal. I think the only time we saw log in calculus was in decay problems.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty good idea! I wish our engineering classes got rid of these people before we started doing group-based homework problems.
Based_Lord_Shaxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That explains a lot of my courses. Thank you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you've never worked in the timber industry?
Algebrax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That explains why I had the take 3 maths, 2 accounting classes, 3 finances and 2 statistics clases? I'm not even an accountant. Hate numbers.
lovekeepsherintheair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Current accounting student, calc almost killed me last semester. By percentages I failed both exams hard, but with a curve, I got a C in the course. I am thankful to have survived that train wreck.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This explains why my major is starting to require people take calculus to get into the program. Before it was just precalculus, Survey of College Math (which is harder than it sounds. Goes into probability and advanced algebra), and statistics. Now I'm guessing it's because of people like that.
LifeIsBizarre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I have seen a lot of clients try and use imaginary numbers.
Andernerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a Physics 121 TA I used to know, to all of the pre-meds in his class:
"You're taking this class because nobody wants a doctor who's too dumb to pass Physics 121."
cebrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I did calculus for my IT degree, most of the examples in the textbooks were accounting or financial stuff. I always thought after that, that the accountants used lots of calculus
fizbin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:50 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who spent a few years as a calculus TA (it paid grad. school tuition, ramen, and rent in a sketchy neighborhood, so...), we'd have a saying: "Almost nobody directly fails calculus, but people fail algebra, geometry, or arithmetic while sitting in calc. class all the time."
The idea of using calculus as a proxy for "did all your pre-college math actually stick" makes me a bit sad, but also makes a lot of sense from a practical standpoint.
FormlessAllness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair. Business calc is a joke. I personally believe all BS in business degrees should require Calc 1 & 2. The grade inflation is ridiculous in business undergrad and business calc is pathetic. If it takes you more then a week to learn the whole course on your own, I personally feel you have no business being in higher education. Most science and B.S majors loathed how easy business classes were till senior year.
Denroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a little side note for no reason: The US Navy requires all ROTC students to take calc 1 & 2 as well as calc-based physics 1 & 2, regardless of degree path.
FormlessAllness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not for know reason. Business degrees are sadly significantly easier. They're lack of critical thinking and scientific knowledge is pathetic. We get dumbasses thinking their great with their 3.7 financial degrees which is probably a solid 2.7 compared to a science based Econ or physics degree.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FormlessAllness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proper calc is two semesters. It's a year of schooling. It's supplemented by physics
Vanetia ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:32:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is making me think getting in to accounting may have been viable for me after all. I'm ok with math but drop off past algebra. Apparently, I would have been an accounting genius if these types were my contemporaries.
random123456789 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:06:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All you really need to know for accounting is addition and subtraction.
Similar to SJHillman, I took computer programming in college. We had to take a couple business courses so obv I took accounting. After the final exam, I got a private email from the instructor telling me I'm the only one that aced his exam in years. :/
hegz0603 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:18:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accountants work with numbers, so that's where the false conception comes from that they must be "good at math" but accounting is far more rules based, and similar to law than to math. That's why the CPA exam is difficult.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you need lots more for any finance, like loans and ROI.
gyroscoper ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:59:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Principles accounting was designed to weed out the idiots. That was the case at my school at least. They made it very difficult and the professor would not bother with you if you did not understand basic math. You also had to take Calculus as a gen ed. Accounting isn't rocket science but the CPA exam isn't easy and they just updated it to make it more difficult to pass.
*umderstanding to understanding
SlouchyGuy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:55:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT too. My job requires me to understand how the job of the people I write programs for is done. And I contunue to get shocked by unqualified they are in so many basic areas, I have to explain what their job entails so often
mikka1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:18:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This immediately reminded me of a recent experience in one of the rather upscale chain restaurants in NYC area...
TL/DR: A cashier in an upscale restaurant didn't know how to calculate a change from $2 with a purchase amount of $1.72 and called a restaurant manager to help her. How the fk she landed such a job is still a mystery for me.
I came to pick up a take out order which ended up being like $26.72 or so. I had an expiring $25 prepaid gift card I wanted to burn, so I asked a very professionally looking girl in her early 20s at the restaurant desk if she could do a split payment for me. She said "sure", so I handed her $25 card and two $1 bills.
She swiped the card first, entered 25.00 and the screen reflected that the $25 payment went through fine and the amount still due was $1.72. She pressed "Cash" and the terminal asked her how much she got from the customer (I guess to show her the change) and for some reason she specifically tapped "$1.72" and pressed Enter. So - as expected - the terminal announced that there was no balance due, printed a receipt and showed her that the change should be $0.00. I silently watched her confused face when she slowly started realizing that something was way off. Honestly for a second I thought to just stop it and say "No change, please", but something inside me really got excited to see what would be next :-) Long story short - she didn't make it even with her iPhone that she retrieved from her bag. She literally DID NOT KNOW what to do, so she called a manager to help her!!! A lady in her ~50s came shortly afterwards and it took her some time to realize what the reason for calling her was. When she did it was apparently kind of hard for her to keep serious tone as she slowly, exactly in the way my son's teacher talks to her class of 6-7 year olds, started explaining her a way of calculating a change from $2 if the amount was $1.72. It took her good 2 minutes to show the girl that if she retrieves 8 cents from the box and add them to $1.72 it would be $1.80. If she adds 10c more, it would be $1.90 etc. up to $2.00. When the girl left to pick my order up she apologized that I had to witness this learning moment and told me she had to deal with stuff like this almost daily with her staff lately...
What actually pissed me off is how hard it was for my wife to land even a clerical/csr job in our area due to sometimes crazy qual requirements for many positions. Somehow it doesn't match very well with what I saw that day in that restaurant :-( And I also guess that girl somehow aced through all interviews and at least has a high school degree, so what the fk she was doing in school for 10+ years then!?
DoesntSmellLikePalm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever been a food service cashier? Sometimes you just get major brain farts like this. Working in any position (other than dishes) at a restaurant requires a huge amount of multitasking in a fast paced and often stressful situation. It also doesn't help when we can feel the customer being judgmental.
If you said "my change is 28 cents" then I assure you it would have immediately clicked in her head. I've done similar things before, it's embarrassing but it happens to everyone.
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:03:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did some of them go on to work at Verizon? (TRIGGER WARNING: EXTREME STUPIDITY)
scolfin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This explains so much about the business community and MBA's.
madogvelkor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have an MBA, and other students I took classes with had the most trouble with Accounting and Economics.
ProspectiveQuant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh? Business people usually are pretty into math...it runs their lives. Did you go somewhere with a completely shit business school? o.O
SJHillman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a freshman level course at a state school, so there were a lot of people there on a free ride (and not a merit based one). By the time you got to junior level classes, things were much improved.
ProspectiveQuant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even entry level at a state school... jesus... that is like, DeVry levels...
DreadPiratesRobert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshmen level accounting class was nothing like this. State school is well. The one thing is some people did that thing where a teacher explains something, and some student asks exactly what she just explained
idgafboutmyusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The exact same thing happened to me with my engineering degree in a microeconomics course. People didn't understand how to find the slope of a line given two points on a graph and then how to find a value of a third point on that line.
hitzchicky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a few classes like that...it sucks.
bluffton101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.1 would not recommend
BananaF4p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would a teacher just fail them? some thing so basic i would simply just not put up with it.
SJHillman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:23:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At a higher level, they probably would. Also, if it was just a couple people, they probably would. However, it was more than half the class struggling with basic math, and a freshman level course so he tried to give them just enough to get through the course. By midterms, things were going better (and some of the worst students had dropped), so it started to progress faster. But those first few weeks were pretty rough.
Ewnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk if this was the problem but at some point, there are times where it's 0.1% and time where it's just 0.1, that's when it's difficult differentiating between percentages.
SJHillman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The main issue was that they had no idea you could convert between fractions, decimals and percentages - it definitely wasn't confusion over the much more understandable .01 vs .01%
ogasbir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in a multi variable calculus class in college, the professor had to stop the class and go over basic arithmetic because she was appalled at how many mistakes the class was making.
AutoDestructo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy and I went to our required college algebra class together. By week 3 the teacher was having to define new terms to explain concepts to the class. For example:
Teacher: In the slope of this line the run is -3.
Student 1: But how can you run negative?
Class in general: Yeah, that's witchcraft.
Teacher: It just means you subtract 3 from the value of the x coordinate.
Class: You're confusing, you can't run backwards!
Teacher: Well, what would you call the opposite of running?
Student 2: Fleeing!
(My internal monologue: Those aren't antonyms.)
Class: Yeah!
Teacher: OK, in the slope of this line the... flee.. is -3.
We didn't go back to that class, still got A's.
BukkakeSaladDressing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shouldn't this have been caught when they started college?
SJHillman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's considerable leeway in what order you take some classes, especially lower level ones. And there weren't entrance exams so much as placement exams. So while the exams may have required them to take remedial math at some point, the lower level accounting courses did not actually require them as prerequisites.
BukkakeSaladDressing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did they even graduate high school...
breebree934 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, I had a very similar experience while at school. Majored in writing so I was taking a business writing course (resumes, memos, business letters, ect.) Everyone else in that class was a business major so at first I thought I was going to be so behind these people...not ONE of them knew how a comma worked, or a semi colon. And the teacher had to take a whole week just for paragraphs.
It was infuriating! And quite scary/dissapointing to think that these people might realistically make more money then me one day.
Airstrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this at a university? That sounds insane...
chad12341296 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an accounting class and a girl couldn't figure this out. Instead of answering the prof gave her the most disgusted look and told her she should have taken a few math classes before taking an accounting course.
SJHillman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it were just one or two students, that probably would have happened. However, it was more than half the class struggling with basic math so I think he felt that trying to bring them up to speed - at least enough to get through a 101 level course - was going to be the path of least resistance. By midterms, some of them had dropped out and the rest learned enough that we could start to make up time.
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an engineer who had to take a business stats class for an econ minor, I totally sympathize. Business majors cannot math at all. Basic concepts like the difference between mean and median had to be re-explained almost every week.
loopywolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accounting: Getting rid of people who don't count
Dsiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My degree is in Physics, but I took an It class as an elective. Talking about signal loss, these 3rd year it and comp science majors didn't know how to use indices of logs. When I say logs, I mean just press the log button at the right time in your calculator.
The lecturer and I got along quite well after I expressed my frustration of sitting through general middle school math when I am paying for a 3rd university subject. He agreed and told anyone who didn't understand the math to leave and study up or contact the literacy and numeracy skills department.
nearly_almost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always feel so terrible at math, and then I hear about stories like this and feel slightly less awful about my math education.
brightdactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same thing happened when I took a course on grammar for my linguistics minor. The professor spent a good deal of the class teaching basic grammar (definitions of things like adverb, pronoun, progressive, etc.) so that he could get around to the actual lesson. I was one of like five people in a packed classroom that was bored and I'm certain we didn't get to everything in the curriculum because the teacher was too busy reteaching basics.
By the way, 99% of those classmates were education majors. Who were going to teach English. To children.
Booyeahgames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I listened to two interior designers argue for 20 minutes if 3/4 or 5/8 of an inch was longer. Not like decorators. People who measure space, and use CAD. They argued about how to compare fractions incorrectly, tried figuring out division to turn it into a percentage. Twenty minutes and then they just pulled out a ruler.
matttheepitaph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a business major roommate. The guy seriously asked me if dragons were real. When I said, "No." He replied, "Well I know they're not real NOW."
V1russ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tested out of any prerequisite math classes I would have needed to take for my degree, but my college did require that I take one "college" level math class. Fine whatever. The inly downsides of that class were that the teacher was borrible at explaining things, and all my other classmates forgot anything they learned in prior math classes.
We spent a solid week each on both long division and basic graphing... I was so pissed that I had to pay for that class...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of what happened to my one aunt. She was the owner of a computer store and some guy came in and complained because she was not selling the computers for the same price she payed. Apparently this guy was a business major and he called some kind of business organization and they laughed at him when he explained everything.
Howling_Fang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't even going into a degree that delt with math and before I even got to choose my classes, I had to do a placement test that determined the base level of prerequisite classes. That was math, reading comprehension, and writing comprehension. If you felt you knew more, you could 'challenge' the placement by passing the final test for that level, if you passed it bumped you up to the next level. We still had some issues of people not understanding the material, but those students (if it was a persistent problem) were required to spend time at the free tutor lab to help catch them up. Or they could stay behind and fail. You fail the same class twice in a row, you get bumped down a level. This helped prevent the need to 'dumb down' lessons.
Andy0132 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God...
Speaking as somebody who has a math professor as their dad, this would give him a brain hemorrhage.
katiethered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When taking statistics in college (freshman level, I was a communications major but there were a good deal of business majors in there too), I sat up front on the first day because I'm not very good at math. After that, I moved to the back because we spent the entire week going over mean, median, and mode.
Relaxel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does that sort of thing happen... in germany (where I live, though I'm also half american) you're instantly fucked if you aren't able to do all the math up to grade 13 (though now they shortened it to 12 years here, so they even crammed more in) if you want to get into IT or any business classes.
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I walk around a lot between classes and sometimes listen in on other classes. Hadn't really occurred to me until recently how shitty math education in America is. Seen quite a few math classes where the students are struggling to understand algebra 1 stuff. Holy hell thats a middle school class, why are adults (usually in their 30s-40s too for some reason, seems to be a lot older than the average age of students at this school) even in this class, nevermind struggling??
cr1sis77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing happened in a carpentry course I took. A few of us had no issues at all and about half the class had to learn grade 9 math again.
jimtheclowned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man...I had a 2nd year business analytics course last year. First part of the course was graphing linear functions and identifying feasible areas on said graph based off inequalities.
I have never seen a group of students have so much trouble with graphing a linear function. Our TA froze for a few seconds when someone asked her how to do this stuff.
Both Calculas & Vectors and Advanced Functions are prerequisites for entrance into any BComm program at my school.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most people getting business degrees are just doing it because it's easy.
iwannabeadoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ. As a European it absolutely terrifies me that the general education level in USA is that low, and I hated math. My 12 year old niece was learning that recently. .
gino188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A LOT of students thing that .1 is smaller than 0.09...because...the NINE is bigger than the ONE...they don't realize it is 0.10 vs 0.09
thatwaffleskid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:56 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a classmate of mine when I went to school for CAD. You know, COMPUTER Aided Design. She was probably in her late 50's and slowed down the entire class learning how to do things like right-clicking and other basic computer stuff. Nobody had any idea why she was there. The worst part was that the advisor/head of the department had several meetings with her imploring her to drop the classes and at least take basic computer classes first because not only was she holding back the rest of the class, but she was wasting a lot of money since she wasn't able to pass the classes. She took it as an opportunity to try and prove the evil 80's movie teacher wrong and kept at it for way too long. Eventually I moved on to the more advanced classes and didn't have her as a classmate anymore, but I'd still see her come around every once in a while.
Sarstan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:53 on February 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accounting degree holder here. This was the type of stuff that drove me crazy in my general ed classes. I don't get how they made it through high school much less expect to get a college degree without basic math skills.
I do see why a lot of people think a degree means nothing though.
habanero_monkfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:04 on February 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I hear stories about business majors being dumb it takes me a second to clue in. I go to an engineering school so our business majors are usually engineering and business double majors, really smart, driven people.
smugliberaltears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there's your problem. you're trying to teach the unteachable.
Shumatsuu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:57:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I just go work for accounting with no training? I feel like I'm far ahead of most of the people in that class. That's like 2nd grade stuff. How did these people get through school?
JJohny394 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:38:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did she get hired in the first place?
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 16:07:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad worked for dod his entire career and had tons of stories of employees getting promoted solely because their supervisors hated them, but couldn't fire them. It's almost a part-time job to do the work to get a federal employee fired.
KCarriere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:16:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Easier to just hire contractors to do all the actual work. I've been a DOD contractor my entire career. We dream of landing a government job. No one gets fired from a government job. NO ONE.
Flowseidon9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give them a glowing reference to another department of the gov. It's a thing in Canada too
JJohny394 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, sounds terribly inefficient in the long run.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it really is. It's because supervisors weren't really filling out evaluation forms. As long as the employee had a pulse and showed up often enough to be seen looking like they were working, they'd usually get "Performs as expected" or a 3 out of 5, which was enough to get cost of living, every year. Nice and cushy.
trees_wow ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:07:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not what you know, it's who you know. Also butt / mouth stuff helps.
JJohny394 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I might be too naive...
Warpato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:27:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Government employee:
1) Needed to met aa quota.
2) Military experience (and as a vet...theres some stupid service members out there).
3) Knew someone, preferrably related, govt jobs are cushy; folks protect cushy.
4) Hiring Manager had nothing to do with budgeting/thay department and hired just b/c.
5) Nice tits...or nice schlong.
Salvius ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:22:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're feeling charitable, it's possible she was wondering which rounding rule to use. Accounting often uses "banker's rounding" (exactly 0.5 rounds to the even number, whether up or down).
oneonetwooneonetwo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, rounding is one of these brain dead simple things that actually turns out to have a fair bit of nuance to it.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:26:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ronald_McBoogerbutt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:20:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too many people don't understand this. When I was beginning my career, I was hired with some people who had 5-10 years experience. Oddly in this particular job role the more experienced people were the most useless, but it should have been a red flag that experienced people were going for a entry level and somewhat low skilled job. One person in particular was so incompetent that she was given fake tasks for just about the entire project as well as the next project. Another guy in a senior role was in a similar situation, he was so bad that the new comers would redo all of his work. This was somebody making around 100k or so and people making nearly minimum wage had to do his job for him. The sad thing is that these people are still given respect based on the time they've spent in the industry, as most people don't know the quality of their work, or don't care.
The people in question still somehow have their jobs, some years later.
KCarriere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do they work for the government?
Not a government job, but my first career related job was before I completed my degree. As I didn't have a degree, I was an "associate engineer". I replaced a woman making 130k+. I made 20k.
MademoiselleFromage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:08 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True that!
someinvisiblehand ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:19:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, a 3rd grader probably wouldn't have gotten so defensive.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:35:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, two of my kids were taught in school to round up from .4 now. No idea why.
MyMonochromeLife ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:18:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a third grade teacher, I'm guessing they were taught correctly, but memorized/learned it wrong.
KCarriere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They might have gotten confused with .5 AND above round up. Which can also be said as everything above .4 rounds up.
jungyumguy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:55:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can now see why our federal budget is so hard to balance
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, government jobs - where you get a steady mix of bright, underpaid experts and inexplicable hires that simply cannot be fired for a variety of reasons. I'm not GOP or even a conservative, but after hearing hundreds (yes, literally) of these stories over my career, it's why I support shrinking government to the smallest size feasible.
samalandar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:39:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't get me wrong, I agree with the idea in theory. But in my experience it's rare that this works out well. The unfortunate reality of shrinking the public service often tends to go like this, you'll try to cut back to the minimum required size, but because of internal politics and the sheer size of the public service you'll still retain some deadwood and there'll be less competent people to do the work. And then the remaining competent people will get really fed up and find jobs elsewhere, often at companies that contract back to the government. So to cover the gaps left by the competant people leaving, the government hires contractors from private industry, sometimes getting the same competant individuals back but now at three times the financial price. And during the tumult, government services/projects slow or get borked up, so in the end the citizens are missing out.
KCarriere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The deadweight doesn't get fired for political reasons. They still won't with the shrinking. You just end up with a smaller government of pure deadweight hiring contractors to do the actual work.
Haephestus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a term for letting "someone else" just fix the problems. It's called firing that employee and hiring someone competent.
DronePirate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I have worked with her.
ass2ass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I read stories like this it makes me think that it would be totally fine if I applied for jobs completely outside of my expertise.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As per username, aren't you in a specialized enough field as it is?
PC_2_weeks_now ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And i cant get a fucking job
CubsSuckSTiLl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like she previously worked for a shady employer and she was only paid to be the fall man...
omnichronos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps she was truncating everything?
Gorilla1969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does a person like that even get a job as a budget analyst in the first place, then manage stay in the career for so long? Isn't there a test or something?
reverendmalerik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend works in government accounting here in the UK. From the stories he has told me, this seems 100% legit.
mariayten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am great at reports, rules, math, and all of those things. If this pays decently, can I have her job??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this person still has a job...how?
throawaydev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this probably not what she meant but if you're using bankers rounding, you round to the nearest even integer 3.5 rounds to 4 and 4.5 rounds to 4.
EvilAfter8am ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ.
InformalCriticism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, so she was like 40? How did Millennials get so unlucky to miss out on 20 years of not knowing shit about life, but getting paid anyway?
TrainAss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're not wrong numbers, they're alternative facts.
XenosInfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use software at work which rounds down if something has a 5 in the fifth decimal place instead of up (so 18.64435% turns into 18.6443 instead of 18.6444). It's a pain in the ass and I have no idea why it does that.
vorpal_potato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a case of somebody using floating point numbers when they shouldn't have. Rather than storing the actual number you entered that software is storing a wacky binary approximation that's slightly less than 18.64435. Specifically, it's storing this shit:
18.644349999999999312194631784223020076751708984375
... And then it's rounding down, because of course it is.
XenosInfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. That's weird. Fortunately, since I can demonstrate that it happens every time the same number gets entered, it isn't actually my problem. Thanks for the explanation, though.
pinks1ip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that lady works at my company now. In fact, I think she's been cloned and there are dozens of her at my company.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was she hot enough to be that stupid?
Rintae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh bruv, it's round down from 0.5 or less.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
75% of people working in offices are exactly this person.
thebloodofthematador ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel better I just spent 20 minutes teaching a computer science professor how to use the "filter" function in Excel.
JacqueFrancios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to explain rounding to someone in my company (in a different department than me) that handles millions of dollars worth of materials a month.
I don't know...I just don't....
thepsycholeech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough, we just went over rounding numbers with my third grade students yesterday....
ketimmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you follow normal rounding rules when working with budgets? You wouldn't always round up to ensure there is enough?
mookie101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just teach her the number kelevin!
funobtainium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a reporter who had to use a content management system - just basically an interface where you put the headline, the summary, and the copy of the news story you want to publish.
I had to explain it like three times, and she wrote the steps down in a notebook, like "Click on 'enter story' (blue) on page titled CMS Story Edit. Then put headline in. It will only fit the size of the headline that should go on the page."
It was pretty odd.
Raiderboy105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost every day, I feel like I will never get a job above minimum wage, but this person gives me hope.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this person's a federal budget employee and I can't even get an interview at my city's budget office
BipedSnowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a classmate in highschool who would round digit by digit, I.e. would round 3.47 to 4, by going 3.47-> 3.5 -> 4. Usually quite bright, I don't think they ever thought of the 0.47 part as less than 0.5?
-sweaty- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 or more up the score 4 or less let it rest
Jekivemiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you guys Civil Service? Because I've encountered this phenomenon known as "promote out". Basically, you can't fire a federal employee without a ton of paperwork and hassle, so instead you get them promoted, usually to another base or dept, to get rid of them. It's a really upsetting and screwed up practice which harms everyone, but I've seen it happen nearly every office I worked or interacted with. :(
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like she was lying about her qualifications or someone else had been doing half the work for her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine has a similar government position in Canada, she recently found out one woman had no idea what she was doing as an accountant. My friend went over some of her recent work several times in disbelief as she was doing "stuff you just can't do in accounting".
My friend even called her up to politely ask her done questions and it was clear she really had no idea what she had been doing, for several years! Somehow her manager had never caught it either...
darkhelmit4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably used different rounding rules. i was taught if, for example say the number is 8.45 you round the 5 up or down depending if the previous digit (4) is odd or even so for example it would be rounded to 8.40 and not 8.50.
Muntanian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are yo Ben Wyatt?
JesusIsMyLord666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is (to my surprise) no universal rounding rule. In economics it is generally standard to round away from zero while rounding to the nearest even or uneven number is generally preferred if you are only working with positive numbers.
She should totally be aware of the most common rounding rule in economics tho.
stirstirs14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I help with students at the local middle school who have the same problem. Now I went to the same elementary and middle school that they are now in and I can see how education has changed and how teachers are now forced to teach kids just doesn't help them.
Example: They (5th-8th graders because of the certain teacher) had to review rounding again, I was forced to go around to each child individually and teach them the way I learned to round and when I was on he very last one the teacher pulled me aside and said "hey I know that's a much simpler way to remember rounding and helps better but I'm told by the state to teach this way..." I had to go around again and then the kids had no idea of what was going on...
Also most of these kids have sadly grown up just using a calculator and now have no idea of really memorizing basic math functions, including addition of 1+3... the one 7th grade girl drives me crazy with not knowing simple things...
I now feel for all the teachers who told me that memorizing and knowing most basic math would be better in the long run, I'm so sorry for every doubting you.
socalgp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:48 on February 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you serious? Fuck you fed real government. You hire this bitchbut wontvev n consider me.
suagrupp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I fucked my way up to the top"
FormlessAllness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly this is why I hate white collar culture. She should have been let go. It's obvious she doesn't have what it takes. You should have gone to hr about it immediately. She can't round. Blue collar world your quickly removed for shit like this. Union or not, your gone. White collar culture spends little on training, some how still picks complete idiots and keeps them. It really hurts the lower middle class and recent grads.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FormlessAllness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't you that gym shark kid from Jersey.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FormlessAllness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Word. Cool.
FormlessAllness ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote this on my phone. This was not a work assignment or document. So no, I should not be fired. In addition, my inability to spell is not on the same level as not knowing how to round at all or thinking you can hand in, incorrect work and that someone else would finish it/correct it. She was a terrible hire and should have been let go. Again, this is an issue with white collar culture.
irotsoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but what do you do when it's exactly .5? I've stirred up so much arguing with asking that question to programmers trying to decide which method distributes the values most evenly. It all depends on whether your set of values contains the whole number.
BenKenobi88 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:49:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0-49 is the lower set, 50-99 is the higher set. If it's exactly 50% or .5, you'd round up still.
gman2093 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For finance you usually use "round half to even"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rounding#Round_half_to_even
I feel like this question is not that stupid.
kitsunekoji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't feel like looking it up right now, but there is an ISO rounding standard. I only found out about this when converting some CAD drawings from one software to another. One followed the rule for what to do with an ending 5, the other didn't. So when you round those values, the drawings showed a difference in the last decimal even though the 3D models were identical.
irotsoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure about ISO, but NIST recommends the round to even rule for tie-breaking. Meaning, if the value ends in 5 exactly then round to the nearest even number so 2.5 would round to 2 but 3.5 would round to 4. That's the one I was taught. But, for example, java.lang.Math by default rounds up on ties, so 2.5 would be 3 and 3.5 would be 4.
The discussion we generally have usually centers around whether you consider the lower whole number as being part of the set of values being rounded. If you consider the values between 3 and 4 non-inclusive, then .5 is in the middle (i.e. the number of possible values between 3.0 and 3.5 = number of values between 3.5 and 4.0 (again non-inclusive), so you end up with 3.5 being an "extra" value (tie). In that case you can then use the round to even rule to make it even out over time.
But if you consider the values between 3.0 and 4.0 to include 3.0 but not 4.0, then 3.0 and 3.5 cancel each other and you have the same number of values rounding up as you do rounding down. Basically you're saying that .5 should always be rounded up because .0 is being rounded down.
armcie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rounding errors? I wouldn't spend the time trying to find those. Even when its done on a computer you're going to get some rounding issues: Say your numbers are 3.3, 3.3 and 3.3; You may want to display these rounded down to 3. But what do they add up to? 9.9? then you have 3+3+3=10 displayed on the page. And you can have different issues with balancing if you decide 3.3+3.3+3.3=9
ProspectiveQuant ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:51:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you also a woman?
MademoiselleFromage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:50 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure what that has to do with the situation but, yes.
ProspectiveQuant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:57 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet all of her previous supervisors were men lol
xThoth19x ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:09:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually rounding rules a lot more complicated. Whether to round up or down on a X.5 depends on the X. Also what decimal place to round to is affected by the other numbers related.
[deleted] ยท 11368 points ยท Posted at 13:25:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
man_mayo ยท 6928 points ยท Posted at 13:38:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, up on Macaroni Hill.
Parsel_Tongue ยท 4436 points ยท Posted at 14:25:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the pasta district.
wongerthanur ยท 3135 points ยท Posted at 14:54:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you get to the Pasta District very often? Oh, what am I saying, of course you do.
hmmccree ยท 1548 points ยท Posted at 15:16:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quicksave
SHANK
Quickload
wongerthanur ยท 196 points ยท Posted at 15:22:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol...I searched everywhere for him when I went on my first werewolf rampage in whiterun. Couldn't find him so had to settle for eating Belethor. His tone always made me feel like he was ripping me off or something.
8Track_Attack ยท 170 points ยท Posted at 15:46:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do come back...
KaitieLoo ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 16:44:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God when he says that, I feel so goddamn creeped out, like he's looking up my armor or something. Motherfucker, I am carrying a legendary daedric battleaxe with daedric armor. Do YOU REALLY wanna play this game? :|
funnybonzo ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 20:04:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife has the same reaction about him. Every time I play Skyrim and she's in the room when I'm interacting with him, she asks if I'll kill that creepy motherfucker for her.
NoticedGenie66 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's for sale! If I had a sister, I'd sell her in a second!
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:01:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you come back
wongerthanur ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:35:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhh I'll be back Belethor. I'm gonna figure out what kind of scam or evil daedric rituals you're up to one day!!
Merlord ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:52:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand that voice. Doing the thieves guild quest and half the characters I speak to have the same fucking voice.
8Track_Attack ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:15:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a Breton race voice.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:47:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa whoa whoa! You can't say that word. It's their word.
ARatherStrangeName ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 15:24:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some may call this junk, me I call them treasures.
Root-of-Evil ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:00:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I WORK FOR BELETHOR AT THE GENERAL GOODS STORE
mad_mister_march ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 17:36:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what's wrong with Skyrim these days? Everyone's obsessed with death!"
SobiTheRobot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:13:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't claim to be the best blacksmith in Whiterun. Eorland Grey-Mane's got that honor; that man's steel is legendary. All I ask is a fair chance."
mad_mister_march ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:36:11 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not afraid of you, ya know, even if you are my elder!"
frozen1267 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAVE YOU TRIED MERCENARY WORK? IT MIGHT SUIT YOU.
BySaintGeorge112 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 15:46:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's for sale, my friend. Everything. If I had a sister, I'd sell her in a second.
SoManyNinjas ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 15:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol you're a piece of shit, Belethor
wongerthanur ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:39:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he knows it and loves it...
wongerthanur ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:28:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EHHHHHH-verything's for sale
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:34:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I don't. Cause I already sold her!
Killer_Tomato ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 16:45:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was in the cloud district. Obviously you don't go there.
wongerthanur ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:45:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck...he was right all along....I don't go to the cloud district much...
markercore ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:31:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I killed the one guy who doesn't do anything but calls you a friend, and I did it accidentally in my rampage and only found out when I came back to Whiterun and he had willed me some stuff. I felt real bad.
ACrispyPieceOfBacon ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:12:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the friendly alcoholic.
ButcherPetesMeats ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:18:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me_irl
markercore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, not him...the friendly alcoholic gives you the charitable bonus if you give him a gold coin, right? Hmm I wish I could remember his name.
RearEchelon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:52:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brenuin?
kumiosh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should've eaten the Talos priest. Dude's annoying as shit.
178383 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Killin Heimskr is sometimes literally the first thing I do in whiterun.
Dangerzone128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Set a lightning rune, wait for him to walk over it, then laugh your ass off.
wongerthanur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/#missedopportunities
millicow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I shit you not I bought this phone yesterday from a guy working at a Verizon store who sounded a lot like Belethor
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, now, I like Belethor. Of course, this is mainly because, and I have no idea how or when, he died, and then I no longer had a general store. It was early game, so no Merchant Perk, and I only had one house to store my stuff, which was, of course, in Whiterun. Yeah, other general stores existed, but PS3 loading times are terrible.
This was made worse by what's-his-face constantly bragging about working for Belethor, at the general goods store (NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, HE'S DEAD, SHUT UP), and my sister playing and saying, "Wow, I sure do love having a general store in Whiterun."
I grew to miss him, and I was definitely happy to see him when I started my second playthrough.
wongerthanur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if you kill Belethor, that hot piece Ysolda takes over his shop. ;)
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, she doesn't. His shop remains closed forever. That's the reason I found out he was dead; his shop was closed during the day. I thought it was a glitch, figured it'd be open next time. Waited a few days. Eventually broke in, and saw no one there. Went looking around, checked the hall of the dead out of desperation, and finally found him.
wongerthanur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. She 100% does take his shop. Maybe she was dead in your game too.
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was not (I did A Night to Remember much later), and she does not always do so:
(Emphasis mine)
Now, when it says USKP fixed it, I dunno if it means they made it so she doesn't inherit it, or that she can now be traded with. I'm inclined to think it's the latter, given your assertion, and I'm also inclined to think you have USKP or USLEEP installed. As I mentioned before, I had the PS3 version. I only had the option of official patches.
Edit: Also, an official patch released long before I got the game mistakenly set her as essential for the entire game (instead of just until A Night to Remember ended, like they meant to), so even if I misremembered my timing of when I did that quest, it wouldn't matter, since she literally can't die.
178383 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck Nazeem. I just wanna kill him so bad. but noooooooo
erddad890765 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:15:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU DID! YOU KILLED HER, AND THEN WENT BACK BECAUSE YOU FELT GUILTY!!!!!
Chosen_Undead713 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:35:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like "tilde key" "essential 0" shank
Drudicta ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:21:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you get to the Pasta District very often? Oh, what am I saying, of course you don't.
Daniellewest526 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like lyrics from a red hot chili peppers song
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Needs more "California"s.
bitcleargas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted the uniform (mostly the shield) from one of the guards in that city... well, if I'm gonna piss off and kill a guard I might as well kill two birds with one stone.
ForHoiPolloi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I approve this fallout 4 joke. r/fo4
YossarianWWII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a mod that flings him up into the sky every time he comments on the cloud district. He usually survives.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just get your sneak skill high enough, take him out with an arrow or a dagger. No one is the wiser. Also, be Thane.
galacticboy2009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr.Resetti gon' getcha
kumiosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, fuck that pretentious prick!
Edit: I think I'm going to murder him when I get home.
TannenFalconwing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's practically instinct
aussie-vault-girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Killed that guy so many time
ModernViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why hide your feelings?
Arlitto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My people, my fellow adventurers
Thetax128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quicksave TACTICAL NUKE Quickload
nomnommish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this Italian chef in my neighborhood who pasta way.
Spartancoolcody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to rob his house of all its valuables.
Geedle ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:26:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can assure you that there's no pusSYYYYYY!
Baneken ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:31:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh Pastarim my favorite game!
wongerthanur ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:43:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope a mod maker sees this and is gripped by an unbreakable desire to make this
NotTipsy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedskyrim
Greeny95 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:20:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that guy
pcream ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:34:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RAZAKO ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:22:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look at his name, he is a danger noodle
AXhunter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:22:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh hey, heres a guilt-free way to start the dark brotherhood missions.
8Track_Attack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:41:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They changed that in Skyrim though. You have to go all the way to solitude and talk to a little boy.
Billd0910 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:35:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Windhelm*
8Track_Attack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, my bad.
AXhunter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, i know. kinda sucks though.
him999 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:54:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's impastable to drive there. The roads are al dente and the grates are all filled with cheese.
DrCabbageman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been pasta couple times.
mildcaseofdeath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That fucker would call you fat on the sly, wouldn't he...
Adog311 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DAMMIT NAZEEM! I use fury to kill him in every playthrough. As well as the dumbass outside in the plains district.
CaseyKalinowski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nazeem I will obliterate you
Brondog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This looks like straight out of KoL
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On vacations in italy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What I wouldn't give to waddle around a pasta district.
SnekMcSnerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately for you, i'm the high king Spaghetti
rawritsxreptar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have you know there's no PUSSYYYYYYYYYYYY
lieinherfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife sends me here to shop because they got the good gabagoo
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck Nazeem. I killed him and put his body on display over the well. His wife sent mercenaries after me, I killed them, came back to whiterun, killed her, and laid her next to him.
TOASTEngineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have you know there's no PUSIEEEEEEE
connorb268 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have you know there's no pusssssiiiiiiieeeee
Nightstalker117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That asshole waste of memory in my skyrim save mother fuck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedskyrim
frozen1267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have you know that theres no PU$$III
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:40 on April 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had actual real human currency, you'd have gold right now.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:48:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
don't*
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:59:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
is that by the hammock district?
thewildjr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's just pasta it
screen317 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:43:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Noodles.
Hijis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and Co.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:47:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mary actually makes you the pastsa
noodlemandan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's in Ramenia, my home country.
damnatio_memoriae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The great thing about Mary-Anne's Pasta is she gets in the pasta with you.
ClintRenee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the address? I'll get my penne...
higher_moments ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's right!
NewAgeHipstr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eat some spaghetti to fogetti your regretti
Sam-Gunn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's offensive to Italians to call it that...
Durien9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So just Italy?
BarryBRG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the great state of Pizza.
cryptdemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What city is that in? Saucily?
CrustyHamSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's right next to the Spaghetto
ManOfAmazement ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mom's spaghetti.
andai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm listening to the Stephen Fry audiobook of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and just last night got to the part where Harry finds out that he's a Parselmouth!
chodumadan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
past which district?
dotcomaphobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a penne every time someone said that...
therick2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pasta makes you fasta.
BLT_Special ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would move to the pasta district.
EpicLegendX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where they are worshippers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
frossenkjerte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Prince of the Kingdom of Pasta
[conditioning Claes intensifies]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harvested by the Pastafarians,
tardis215 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did everyone miss the Gorillaz reference?
WestTexasOilman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where all the pastafarians come from.
amolad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, spaghetti grows on spaghetti trees.
JangSaverem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The prepackaged stuff can be grown and found on the plastic beach
southerstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the city part of town -_-
Nobodygrotesque ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was just called Red Light District?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mispelled Italy.
Murderous_Waffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"+6 food per turn when you build this district".
RAWRRAWZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
South of 123 Candycane Lane
qub3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love me them pastafarian ladies.
Keeper-of-Balance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're gonna rock down to
THE PASTA AVENUE
I-Am-McLovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup and right next to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
TheBaconator3 ยท 1522 points ยท Posted at 14:29:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sang that to the tune of melancholy hill by Gorrilaz for no reason.
counterfitfake ยท 3992 points ยท Posted at 15:01:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on Macaroni Hill
there's a pasta tree.
Will you share with me?
Just add some Parmesan cheese
And a little cream.
Please have as much as you want
It's basically free
Tell me are you hungry?
the base of the food pyramid
Back in 93
Back in 93...
MythOfTheNearFuture ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 15:50:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just listened to On Melancholy Hill while reading your lyrics, 10/10.
learnyouahaskell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never saw it before, so I looked it up, too.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:40:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is awesome. Gonna have this stuck in my head for the rest of the day, at least. Gonna help me get through work. Cheers!
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:41:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do something with Superfast Jellyfish next.
landon9560 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best I could do, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iubJ-XSL9go
TheBaconator3 ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 15:05:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bravo
UndeadAnonymous ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 16:21:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BUP BUH. BUPBUH BUP BUH BUH.
Cptnwalrus ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:59:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aaaaaahhhh ahhhhhhhh
Ylar_ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:54:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK now that tune is stuck in my head ;-;
Rev_Up_Those_Reposts ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:28:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird Al quality writing.
SeriouslyImKidding ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:32:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, are a national treasure.
toofartofall2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:46:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dances
Sarcastically_immune ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:52:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd listen to this.
jorzo123 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:21:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take my god damn upvote
intentionally_vague ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:00:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those lyrics make more sense than the official ones. Though, it is the Gorillas...
PretzelsThirst ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:59:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe this will help: https://genius.com/804046
AppleUserGetOverIt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Gorillaz
Cptnwalrus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's all conceptual. I guess he's singing about a fictional place but knowing the Gorillaz it's probably a metaphor for something.
shadowgattler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:16:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had the same thought. I love you
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:18:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are amazing good sir
zelnoth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:33:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to type out something similar when i first read it, but this is way better. Good job.
LobsterThief ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:45:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you long time.
TANGO_7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should start a band and call it the Barillaz
saltymillennial ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Melancholy Hill parody would not have been as good. Well played.
coopercrepsl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i would give you gold if i had it so if you want to consider yourself poor-gilded here you go
counterfitfake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: thanks for the poor gold kind stranger!
Jourdy288 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this but could only hear Blueberry Hill.
prfalcon61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I started singing this to the tune of Solsbury Hill...
Th3Unkn0wnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you I was gonna do this
CliffRacer17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am in love with you right now.
daaanish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pure poetry
Dodge2461 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was just listening to this song, and I'm singing this. Thanks.
foxpawz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
doop doop, do doo do do do, doop doop
aaaaaaah aaah
TimtheBigDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bars.
HyperCubed4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, bravo.
Loseloosescrews ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! I love this.
rumbusiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was lovely. I have just sung it. x
HeyThereAdventurer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that? The food pyramid?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_5GIIMOLMo
Zaron_The_Insane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
jesus i was just starting to work on lyrics for it and bam there it is
whitchri175 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're my hero
JeIIyDM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mom's spaghetti?
goldyforcalder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this^
goldyforcalder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:52 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its been 2 months and I still think about this every time.
counterfitfake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:46 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You made my day, thanks!
goldyforcalder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:20 on April 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy to do it! Great writing!
mlkk22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
goes better to "In the summertime"
The_Pankiest ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:59:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar pronunciation, and the syllables fit. I did it too.
Forgemaster00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me three. I think it would be a fun parody to make.
The_Pankiest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Up on Macaroni Hill, there's some plastic cheese."
shadowehawke ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:03:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was wondering if that popped into anyone else's head haha
GuitarHero308 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:19:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on Macaroni Hill there's a ramen tree
DotComCTO ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:12:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, I'm probably a lot older than you, so I sang it to, "Blueberry Hill" (Fats Domino). "I found my thrill...on Macaroni Hill..."! :-D
Link for the lazy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek1P7GM33so
Ouch_i_fell_down ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:32:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if it helps, i'm 30 and thought blueberry hill as well
DotComCTO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:34:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, youngblood! :-D
fenshield ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:08:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on macaroni hill
theres a pack of cheese
Is it all for me?
101gamer101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha you're right.
Dammit, now I'm going to be humming this song all day.
JamSpasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same
ConspiracyVictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was to the tune of Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel.
HIJKElemenohpee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that schoolhouse rock song where they teach kids about bills?
"I'm just a bill. Yeah I'm only a bill. And I'm sitting here on capitol hill"
That's the tune I was thinking
HRDSalami654 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have to admit, I did as well.
RallyIcon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's the first thing I thought of!
kethian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel really weird that that's exactly what i did and THEN saw your comment
iziller7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
im so tripped out i was literally listening to that song when i saw this
dewymeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saaaaame
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that was my first thought too
kerberoswhiskers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit me too.
fredgigi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
glad I wasnt the only one.
charismabear ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:19:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my favorite Gorillaz song, personally.
Equilibriator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The seeds are spread by wandering Haggis
andonevris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They harvest pasta in Switzerland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Across a glorious river of cheese.
Liquidjojo1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk why but I just died laughing reading this. Having a shitty day so thanks for that :)
dirty-bot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, maybe I should stop trolling my 7yo kid. While I didn't go as far as macaroni hill I am sure I might've slipped that spaghettis grow in trees. Oops!
ClydeFrog1313 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, macaroni comes from birds didn't you know? We learned this from the historical tale Yankee Doodle Dandy. "Stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni"
sungjew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With the tortellini trees
northstar599 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Monterey, CA. Oh wait, that's Spaghetti Hill.
Wh1teN1nja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you call a bad Italian neighbourhood?? A Spaghetto
MyUsernameIs20Digits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found my thrill
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, u/man_mayo. This is your sister, twatpaste.
man_mayo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pleased to meet you?
boyuber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never been. I always gorge myself on steaks on Salisbury Hill.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great, now I sit here, singing "Up on macaroni hill" to a Gorillaz-tune. Well fucking done.
Brandinon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And for poorer areas, the spa-ghetto
counterfitfake ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:02:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on Macaroni Hill
there's a pasta tree.
Will you share with me?
Just add some Parmesan cheese
butter and some cream.
Please have as much as you want
It's basically free
Tell me are you hungry?
the base of the food pyramid
Back in 93
Back in 93...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my favorite Gorillaz song. Besides that one: " Im Harambe, Im feeling glad..."
Steveth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't go to Silent Hill. You'll go ramen mad.
xSinityx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is next to the big Rock Candy Mountain, right?
MrGentlemanSir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on Macaroni Hill there's a Ramen Tree..
IllBePirateKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody once told me..
TheNo1pencil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on Macaroni Hill there is a Pasta tree๐ต
StickitFlipit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on macaroni hill there's a ramen tree
aolle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a ramen tree.... Are you here with me?
SgtOceanus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where there's a ravioli tree
weinerpug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.... There's a Ramen tree...
vladimir_pimpin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on macaroni, hill there's a ramen tree
E: Shit someone else did this already. I can't figure out how to delete on alien blue help
theguyshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a pasta tree, and are you there with me?
NeedsNewPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
up on macaroni hill ๐ถ
there's a pasta beach๐ถ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, go easy on that. We lost a lot of good men to take that hill.
Bakken0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger, for some timeI always confused the song lyric "On Melancholy Hill" with "macaroni hill." I was 11.
fezzyness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there's a Ramen tree,
Patjeff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'ma noo-dil Yes a noo-dil
Growing on ma-ca-ro-ni hill
mrBatata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on Macaroni Hill, There's a pasta tree, Are you here with me? Just looking out on the day, Of another dream...
CaptValentine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on macaroni Hill there's a Ramen tree..
-Gorillaz
IamSeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on macaroni hill
There's a ramen tree
Just looking out for the day
When you're close to me
When you're close to me
xzether ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a pasta tree... Are you here with me?
ServileLupus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know why but this is what immediately came to mind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04mfKJWDSzI
DeviousAlpha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on macaroni hill, theres a pasta tree, are you here with me? Where you can't get what you want, just tagliatelli..
orthag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Up on macaroni hill there's a ramen tree....."
HBStone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on macaroni hill There's a pasta tree Won't you eat with me
BoSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad the Gorillaz changed it to Melancholy Hill.
zygntwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, sounded like a Peter Gabriel song...
"Climbing up on Macaroni Hill..."
Transwiththeplans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up on Macaroni Hill, there's a ramen tree
Are you here with me?
Just looking out on the day
Of another dream
throwawayaxxount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great now im reading this in the tone of melancholy hills, thank you very much.
VanCityPot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there;s a pasta treeeee
ShortchangeParamecia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's a Gorillaz song.
Up on Macaroni Hill there's a pasta tree~
seasport100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody once told me the world was macaroni so I took a bite out of a tree.
TheHoliestMacaroni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still have flashbacks about the Battle of Macaroni Hill
JKDS87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right next to the one made famous during Vietnam, Hamburger Helper Hill
TechnoCowboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a plastic tree
RemyJe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Macaroni is grown on birds. We harvest is like wool from sheep. It's a popular fashion accessory worn on hats.
Razzmatazz123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that Gorillaz song
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me take you down, where I'm going, to... Macaroni Hill, Nothing is real,
DodoWithAFro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a plastic tree
vesomortex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a Ghibli movie I'm familiar with.
NoFriends_IWonderWhy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody one told me the world was ramen so I took a bite out of a tree
leveebreakage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a manatee?
Justin72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:05 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I found my thrill..."
TheNorthernGrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:33 on February 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marcusroni Dyrus Hill
suckswithducks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's right next to Hamburger Hill.
hettybell ยท 1308 points ยท Posted at 14:22:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol there was an April Fools hoax about spaghetti trees that was widely believed in the UK.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spaghetti-tree_hoax
Hugh_Jampton ยท 197 points ยท Posted at 14:56:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic. Wonder how many people did it
QuinineGlow ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 16:10:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently they did get quite a few calls about people at least asking if the trees, themselves, did well in a British climate.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:16:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not at all surprised by this. We are a nation of absolute morons (see also: Brexit).
slaaitch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what fueled the empire. You don't take over half the world without a fuckton of cannon fodder.
forgodandthequeen ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 16:00:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the need to defend my country and say that it was 1957 at the time. Spaghetti was as alien to the British psyche back then as pushing into a queue.
starmartyr ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 16:27:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Television was still new and April Fools hoaxes weren't a common thing yet. People believed it because the news had never lied to them before.
frogjg2003 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 17:35:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the time have changed.
librarianjenn ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:07:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, it was narrated by a very respected journalist/reporter - that lends credibility. I just used this example in my library instruction class this week! How it is easy to believe something when the subject is unfamiliar, and comes from a respected source.
Toasterfire ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:19:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also wasn't it Panorama? That's the serious journalism show
KypDurron ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:45:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL back in 1957, it was 1957
forgodandthequeen ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:00:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, for the whole year. It mysteriously started being 1958 some time around December 31st though, nobody is quite sure why.
scotchirish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And exactly a year later, when everyone had finally gotten used to it being 1958 in 1957, suddenly it was 1959. WTF?!?
aadfg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those mad men keep changing the year every 365 days! Someone should stop them /s
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:24:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet this will be in /r/TodayILearned tomorrow.
BaggaTroubleGG ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy maths.
GreyhoundMummy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:55:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True! I remember my mum serving pasta for the first time for dinner sometime in the mid-80s. My dad was confused. "Where are the potatoes? Is this made of potatoes? I don't understand....."
ryboodle ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How times have changed
2059FF ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:53:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I vaguely remember reputable news on TV.
SulliverVittles ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:09:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly though, working at the spaghetti farm is way better than being stuck in the bread mines.
hettybell ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:12:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. No way of telling when one of those breadlines will collapse.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:02:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just one wrong move and you're sandwiched in there.
CMDRKhyras ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:09:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt told me once that if I planted the seeds from my burger bun, I would get a bread tree.
Fuck that bitch....Waited a whole damn year for that thing to grow.
ddosn ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:21:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, in the 40's or 50's before spaghetti was really a thing in the UK.
Chipping_Rain ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was not 'widely believed'.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:51:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my dads mum was italian and when this was shown, all the kids at his school believed it so yeah
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids aren't people and they believe anything
Twixes3D ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, children totally aren't humans. They're just monkeys that morph into adults.
Tutush ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 15:21:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When babies smile, it's a sign of simian aggression.
Milkshakes00 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:13:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I kick them in the head when they smile at me.
horridCAM666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you do with all that edge?
Milkshakes00 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cut paper very menacingly.
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but they weren't as wide as modern kids.
lfantine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/tVo_wkxH9dU the video
zerox3001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back when we Brits actually believed anything the bbc said
mauriceh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the 1960's they showed a video of people in Italy picking pasta off trees on the Ed Sullivan Show.
Apparently over 10,000 people wrote them letters asking where they could get the trees.
Frizzles_pet_Lizzle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Logged on to post this but you beat me to it. Here's the BBC report.
bingobanggo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was also a commercial showing people picking spaghetti in the 80/90. It definitely messed with people.
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/tVo_wkxH9dU
Flyberius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:45:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that is the April Fools they are referring to.
Anxious_Sherlock_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, they're referring to the one in 1957.
IamGimli_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Certainly makes a great argument for monarchies.
binkerfluid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FAKE NEWS!
nonicethingsforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The video itself, for those interested. Watch it, it's glorious.
Darth_drizzt_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair it was aired on the BBC with no hint that it was humor.
PrototypeBanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All you need to do is say it with conviction, and repeat it over and over. That's how 'alternative facts' become common knowledge.
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 14:16:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would like a ramen tree please
TheNameIsWiggles ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:37:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$.63 please
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How may I pay you kind sir/ma'am
Insert_Gnome_Here ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:36:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back when spaghetti was just becoming common in the UK, there was an April fools story on spaghetti trees, done quite seriously by a respected presenter. Fooled a lot of people at first.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:44:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She must've got a ramen tree mixed up with an udon tree. To be fair it's a common mistake. First you need to pick the udon leaves, dry them out and then add komugiko. Bam! Traditional, authentic Japanese ramen.
bfevans19 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:09:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a very little kid, I though pretzels were a type of wood, so I can kinda sympathize with her on this one.
DoctorFlimFlam ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:59:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents convinced my brother that they mined rice and that rats layed eggs. They got a couple calls from his teacher that year.
purplegiraffe_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:46:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was she hot?
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hot as boiling water.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:03:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it were true, every college should have at least one grove of such a tree.
Housetoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:00:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you may laugh, but this is not so strange.
just watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEqp0x6ajGE
and remember, plenty of city kids believe milk and apples come from "the factory", not from cows or trees. the very notion is ludicrous to them.
HawkEy3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's sad how disconnected some kids/people are from nature.
Housetoo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
most people will learn that early in life, but you will have many things that you learned at some point in yours that i might find weird or sad.
and similarly you might find some things weird about when i learned them.
if only we could all be born with some basic knowledge already set. like "lying is bad" or "apples grow on trees" or (no offense) "not knowing something does not mean they are stupid, just ignorant of that particular thing".
:)
iwrestledasharkonce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's all context, and what is or was important to you growing up.
I grew up in a coastal community and was always passionate about marine science. I learned pretty early on that seashells used to be part of an animal, because I'd watch the coquinas bury themselves in the surf.
I now volunteer as a docent for an aquarium. When you ask a kid where a seashell comes from, they almost always just exclaim, "The sea!" When you ask an adult, they look stumped for a minute and say, "I've never thought much about it." This is even if you have a living, breathing snail right in front of you.
I thought it was unbelievable that they didn't know animals made seashells until I met my first scallop.
I did not grow up with scallops. They were too far from the shore for me to have encountered them. However, they're a common feature where I live now, so they ended up in our touch tank. I picked one up underwater, holding it sideways to admire its many eyes. Imagine my surprise when it forcefully shot out of my hand. I screamed! I studied these things in school, but I forgot the whole part where they could swim because I never encountered them much in the wild.
I know a lot about the environment I grew up with because I had 18 years to play and study in it. If you flew me out to the mountains or the desert, I'd be clueless, but I'm sure the people who live there would be full of facts and ideas.
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not much natural about milk or apples in their current form anyway. And they're probably just off by a decade or so, it makes a lot of economic sense to move towards indoor-grown genetically-engineered plants and cloned milk glands. Higher production yields at lower cost and lower emissions
NateFroggyFrog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was wee I believed that all pasta grew on pasta bushes. I wish I still lived in that world...
switchondem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It... it doesn't?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a whole new level of poverty
floridadude123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing. Once had a friend who believed marshmallows grew on bushes like cotton.
fcbRNkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/photoshopbattles please
hoganm01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever visited r/Matt ? It's a fun community and it's great to have as many sexy Matt's out there.
lost-genius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, do I have some bad news for her and Hamburger Hill...
Fortysevens11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just today I walked pasta ramen tree.
Corr521 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol wtf? Very dumb question. They obviously grow on ramen bushes.
exrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Bitch to peel though.
wirral_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this - one of the first but possibly the best April Fools tv broadcast ever:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
Frank_The-Tank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is Ramen?
StarFoxMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We took a field trip to a farm one time back in middle school and a girl in my class asked if there were certain cows that made only chocolate milk.
scottish_beekeeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it does! Have you never seen this documentary on the spaghetti harvest? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
spectrumero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a famous April fools hoax done by the BBC about the spaghetti harvest - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
makomakomakoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my AP US history class asked what Obama's last name was.
Dr_D-R-E ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can kind of sympathize. I graduated 7th in my high school class and science was my strong area. I got yelled at by my bio teacher, while discussing diffusion/osmosis, because I was wasting time when I asked for clarification, "What do you mean make a pickle? Don't you just pick them?"
The remaining 2 and a half years of high school people made fun of me for thinking pickles came from a pickle tree or were some kind of root.
themasterofpotatoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had this one too. My buddies and I were all getting ready to sleep outfield, then one guy pops his head out of his shellscrape and says to me "Why don't Americans stop planting bread trees? It makes them fat".
No idea how he got either of those ideas, but still it made our night a lot more bearable laughing to sleep.
Hit-Enter-Too-Soon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On top of spaghetti....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGBE3eLpvm0
SheWhoSpawnedOP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade my friend thought bread grew on trees in complete loaves. Took me hours to convince him he was stupid and he didn't buy it until I pointed out that there was no stem to connect the bread and the tree.
SpacePeanut1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ramen doesn't grow on trees, but it's so cheap, it might as well.
irotsoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does the broth come out like sap?
elangomatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my co-workers used to think that onions grew on bushes.
Schamallam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's not the sharpest tool in the shed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my brother told me he chose to study physics at university, I jokingly told him I had no idea he wanted to be a physician. He spent the next three years thinking I was serious and dumb. We clarified the issue, and it has nothing to with ramen.
Tyliss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My big sister once asked my mother really seriously if cheese curds grew in trees or in bushes. She was 14 years old and we still bring her this memory from time to time.
Jave85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Probably recently saw this old documentary)[https://youtu.be/tVo_wkxH9dU]
this-is-the-future ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People are generally pretty disconnected from where food comes from so maybe this isn't such a terrible question :P
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pfff everyone knows ramen comes from the Ramen Empire
lib4lyf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if she saw the BBC April Fool's joke from 1957 about the glorious Spaghetti harvest in Italy that year, you could see how she could be mislead - the British access, so credible!
bohiti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very bright (<- honest) 8 year old recently told me he's surprised that we can just make cheese. He thought it would make more sense to grow on its own. To avoid embarrassing him, I didn't press by asking "like a plant?". We live in Wisconsin and have been to cheese factories. Guess we'll have to go again.
ialready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same tree Justin Timberlake was born from
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she somehow was thinking of the spaghetti tree hoax - a famous 3-minute hoax report broadcast on April Fools' Day 1957 by the BBC?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Spaghetti-tree_hoax
GodEaterSha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A character from god eater 2 rage burst though curry grew on curry trees. It was not his proudest moment.
Dustin_00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the arguments I've seen about hamburger coming from cows. :-(
Ubergeeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is from an April fool's news feature done by the BBC in the 80s or 90s. Duped a lot of people at the time
I'd link to it but I'm on mobile.
darexinfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she wanted to grow her own rawmen ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck is this, Toriko? They're roots, like potatoes, obviously, fuck.
jethroguardian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until a few years ago I thought peanuts grew on peanut trees. I'm in my 30's.
theres_an_i_in_idiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want a ramen tree.
SheWhoComesFirst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Asians grow on Ramen trees. They grow right from the noodle limbs. When they're ripe you cut them down. That's how they get a belly button.
LeMoofinateur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friends elderly (but very smart, apart from this) neighbour believed this for a really long time.
Duckduckandgoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my high school biology class was amazed to learn that rice grew on a plant and wanted to know what trees grew pasta.
MikoSqz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well.. rice grows on a plant. They're both starchy sides you boil in water and then eat.
bynkman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody knows that Spaghetti grows on trees.
mtewary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In job-land where jobs grow on jobbies
PirateJohn75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well? Do they?
6543internquestion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... I eat pasta like every other day and I just realized I don't actually know what noodles come from.
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There actually was a April fool's BBC documentary about noodle trees. Maybe she saw it and believed it?
Allthenamesareregone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably saw this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
angerispoison42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I could imagine uncooked ramin being a vegetable that's cut into strings...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in highschool I had a moment where I genuinely did not know where pasta came from. I was pretty sure it didn't 'grow' but I honestly didn't know.
InFearn0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a conversation with an adult coworker (he has a PhD is geology and a masters in computer science) about ice cream flavors, when he dropped this bomb, "I can't stand artificial flavors, like vanilla! And now companies are pushing a 'vanilla bean' flavor!"
I had to stop him to explain that vanilla is natural and acquired by grinding up or extracting it from vanilla beans.
Fnhatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pot Noodle is mined in Wales.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT1rkjR-_RM
Skullmonkey_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What an idiot! It's mined in Wales, everyone knows that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to her defense it does not taste like proper pasta. More like an alien type of snack.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like her parents told her that to mess with her. I grew up thinking "hotel" was pronounced "hotowel" because my parents thought it was hilarious.
angel_of_death369 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows its actually corn
stackered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I personally believe in creationism so I know for a fact that the Flying Spaghetti Monster drops packs of ramen down to Earth once a year, during the famed Ramen Festivus
pmulbp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant BBC: Spaghetti-Harvest in Ticino https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
MyFingerPointeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok but i have a question, if matter is canceled out by anti-matter, then how does an italian restaurant serve both pasta and antipasto in the same physical reality
eatcitrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People will be surprised that shower loofahs grow on shower loofah plants
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FoHwaXit5fU/maxresdefault.jpg
https://redlandrambles.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/luffa-peel.jpg
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what DOES grow on Ramen trees?
I can understand the confusion
The Jack Rabbit is actually a hare
The Belgian hare is actually a rabbit
The Mantis Shrimp is neither Mantis nor shrimp
The Statue of Liberty is in New Jersey
the Pentagon is in Virginia
West Virginia's only 50KW "Blowtorch" AM station has it's transmitter in Ohio
Cinncinatti International Airport however is in Kentucky
Jerusalem Artichokes will not grow in Jerusalem--The climate is too dry
ultrasupermega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant commercial from my youth that confused me for a loooooong time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-ZtGoXkI58
PositronicBluebonnet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
Qtea831 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of that time the BBC totally fooled everyone on April Fools day by saying that spaghetti was farmed in sweden.
Krail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it grows on ramen stalks. It takes a bit of processing to become ramen, though.
mustbemayhem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you can thank Strega Nona for that.
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 14839 points ยท Posted at 11:44:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I was student teaching, I had a student ask where Texas was on the map I was projecting on the screen. The map was of China.
AllTaints18 ยท 3149 points ยท Posted at 12:28:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the map was zoomed in a bit to the east, the kid was just trying to help you find the safe house.
HeavySweetness ยท 1992 points ยท Posted at 14:47:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the proper call is "Do you have a Geiger Counter?" and the proper response is "Mine is in the shop."
caanthedalek ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 17:27:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow it really disappointed me that after that whole wild goose chase along the freedom trail, the password to the top-secret rebel organization was "railroad."
Sasparillafizz ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 18:00:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How did you guess our secret password?"
"Well, I tried Swordfish, but that didn't work, so..."
livevil999 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:41:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Guess? It was the first god-damn thing I entered. To be honest I was super surprised it worked!"
Foilcornea ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I would've nuked my way in but the wall doesn't have a hit box."
ClubMeSoftly ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 18:42:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding. I wasn't even paying attention to the numbers and letters on the trail, until I got to the safehouse. Then I saw the turn-y password thing, and realized the game was going to make me do work.
I turn around with a sigh to go and look at all the signs, when the first two, backtracking, were 8-d and 1-r. I stopped and said out lout, "Is the password fucking railroad?"
RampSkater ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 18:55:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar. I saw the first clue, wrote it down, and when I wrote down the second one, I said, "I hope this doesn't spell out something obvious like, 'railroad'."
MEGAYACHT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What game is everyone talking about?
MicroKayla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fallout 4.
KeetoNet ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:40:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah - I was actually prescient enough to write them down as I encountered them, expecting something like this. Turns out I had missed a couple along the way and was worried I'd have to backtrack for the ones I missed.
Until I actually looked at the ones I had collected and did a facepalm.
But hey, I got to do some good Murder Hobo action along the way, so I was satisfied.
kittycatbutthole1369 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:08:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the hardest time following the damn line.
Spent two hours clearing out a house a looking for the exit where the line would clearly continue on the other.
Nope. Go back out, follow the actual line this time, lose it multiple times. Say fuck it and look up the end point online.
I don't know if my gamma was messed up but the line was practically invisible.
KeetoNet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were several places where the line disappeared, but in almost all cases (all those that didn't involve rubble covering the obvious path) there was a spray-painted line to show where it diverged and where you should go to pick it back up.
A1000eisn1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing. I thought it might be a jumble or something until I got to the end and said "wow, real good password. I'm sure fucking MIT would never figure that out.
TheoSidle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:53:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a crummy commercial!
Faiakishi ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:16:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally stumbled across the base the first time. My first playthrough, the only way I advanced the plot was by wandering around and things happening around me. I was just playing around with the code-thingy when my character started talking to me.
redjarman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:55:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, there were hints along the way? I just followed the line and figured out the password after a couple random tries
ClubMeSoftly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:25:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, at certain points, corresponding to important landmarks are big bronze seals with THE FREEDOM TRAIL on them. There's a number and an arrow pointing to a letter. If you look directly at it, and hit the "interact" button, you say the number and letter, and go "hmmm..."
KuntaStillSingle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a mod that adds some new presets for the riddle if you want the experience a few more times.
imangwy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I tried was like "obviously, it isn't railroad, too obvious." Then after 3 hours of making up random shit I went for railroad and flipped out that it was that fucking obvious.
TheLurkingMenace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can actually skip straight to the church without even hearing about the Railroad, input the password, and when you get asked how you found them, you can respond that you just stumbled upon them.
semtex94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reason they do the whole freedom trail thing is to get enough time to judge who exactly is looking for them, hence why they show up with everyone pointing guns at you. It's a good tactic to see if the person who is looking for them is actually a possible agent or a particular smart raider. And what better way to do that than a secret code at the end that can only be found by walking the whole path?
caanthedalek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, except you didn't have to walk the whole path. If your enemies are trying to break in, then "railroad" is literally the first password they'd be likely to try. It's like that episode of Archer where the password to the ISIS mainframe is "guest." It's just babytown frolics.
Bekenel ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 15:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the Brotherhood.
WeCanDanseIfWeWantTo ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 15:49:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ad victoriam!
Valiant91 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:20:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Facists!
metans ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 16:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Profligate scum. Ave, true to Caesar!
Vivirmos ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 16:26:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wild Card!
Chocolate_Anya ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:28:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/fallout is leaking
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/fallout doesn't leak. We precipitate.
Magma57 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:32:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let the Master rain plasma upon you!
yingkaixing ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:43:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ring a ding ding!
chanman98 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They went that-a-way!
ArmaDolphins ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:41:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bask in the Glory of Atom!
0ark0 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:11:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wild card bitches! YEEHAW!
Zenquin ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'know, that is Latin for 'sieg heil'.
max20077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ave means be well or farewell in Latin.
Julege1989 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:27:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this from?
HeavySweetness ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:33:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fallout 4. It's the way to identify yourself as an Agent of one of the in-game factions called "The Railroad"
Aerotactics ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:11:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you still talked to those guys? Hmm...they might be dead now.
drstrangelovers ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:25:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fallout reference.
Nanaki__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was [Railroad Password]
Myhumanlife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No sir, the proper call is "Do you have a Geiger counter?" The proper response is "Silence my brother."
Myhumanlife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, "What is the music of life?" And the response is, "Mine is in the Shop."
thisguynamedjoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just replayed that mission. That guy on the overpass is an asshole.
SaturdayMorningSwarm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know where I can find an extranet terminal? My omnitool has been broken forever.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something, death and taxes. Confucius.
KeetoNet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, I completely missed that I needed to respond that way when I first encountered one of these guys. Turns out, it didn't matter, and "Sarcastic Yes" worked fine.
thegaming101sega ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 14:06:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's this reference?
kodora_fox ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 15:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real answer: Fallout 4
micromoses ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:48:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does it have to do with Texas?
SuperCarbideBros ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:03:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They both have stars on their flags.
VaporNinjaPreacher ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:25:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I played Fallout 4 for like 200 hours and I STILL didn't get this reference until you mentioned that. It's a pretty obscure reference to a pretty random quest.
daboardman ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:35:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No its not. That's a main quest line for the railroad.
DrRobotNinja ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People that didn't help the Railroad would miss it, then.
Theonlylonely ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:40:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So all the sensible people..?
Pecoste ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:49:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get the deliverer first then ditch them
nanie1017 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh...
Deadmeat553 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:46:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the people who didn't play the game at least 4 times.
forerunner398 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha. Good one buddy
pulls out deliver threateningly
daboardman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's true.
starwarsi ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:35:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the first railroad quest where you and deacon meet this dude on an overpass.
I-Am-Beer ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:22:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this quest and I still don't get what point they mentioned China or being zoomed in on a map.
starwarsi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the replies mentioned a safe house
PapaBradford ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:17:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I haven't played it so I was a bit lost
1010203040595 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:50:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im pretty sure the reference is actually to Modern warfare 2
STAR!
STAR GODDAMIT OR WE'LL SHOOT
I DON'T KNOW THE GODDAMN COUNTER SIGN OK, JUST DONT SHOOT.
The proper response was Texas soldier.
RAMIREZ
[deleted] ยท 408 points ยท Posted at 14:45:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's to pop culture, I think
ElderlyPowerUser ยท 259 points ยท Posted at 14:59:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pop culture again? Man it seems those guys get all the references.
NecroK51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pop culture gets all the references, ft. is in every single song, damn...
ArcticGuava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first couple seasons aren't tooooo bad
OhShiiiiiiiiitWatap ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:59:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck I'm stealing this one-liner for sure. Gj mate.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
honored
GeoffTheProgger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really really proud of your for this. I laughed for a long time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm honored
LordRevanish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's a reference to Fallout: 4
BryceCantReed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what if you never knew your dad?
dabbling ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I remember it from television show.
Edit - come to think of it I think it's from movie.
somebody-else-21 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Silly me. I thought it was cop culture. I get it now.
Tempest_1 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might involve a famous celebrity as well!
Pistolwhipits ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:19:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fallout 4 railroad faction call sign
cyllibi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you look at the yellow shaded area in western Texas, you can see China. Texas is HUGE!
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/55x07k/texas_is_huge/
921ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean YUGE!?
Exodus111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Secret code of the railroad in Fallout 4.
Cecil_B_DeMille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's from venture bros in season 6 Gathers and Dr Girlfriend meet in a park to discuss the Blue Morpho, it's part of the codephrases they use
_ChaoticNeutral_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here
Brandon4466 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you coming to the toga party?"
bidoublef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really related and not a teacher, but was in class maybe 5th grade or so. Teacher asks a girl in class to read a passage. In the passage, it mentions the country Niger. My clairvoyance kicked in and I anticipated the girl's mistake in advance. She gets to the word, and without hesitation she just says "nigger". The whole class erupted and even the teacher was crying laughing. Kids are so innocent.
WillieWins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the map was just zoomed out until China was but a small speck. Only then could you start seeing the outline of Texas surrounding it.
jmerridew124 ยท 960 points ยท Posted at 14:53:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Behind it."
Super-dork ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:55:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's clever!
hanman7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:14:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
rekt
sorenant ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:52:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you saying Texas is located in the upside down? How do they survive the Demogorgon?
radiosigurtwin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Know any Barbs from Texas? That's how.
spaghett1Thunderbolt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:28:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But Texas isn't underground in China! Unless Texans are Chinese mole people.
jmerridew124 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that also make Chinese people into Texas mole people?
spaghett1Thunderbolt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:38:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that mean... Does Texas am Chinese? Do China be Texese?
IiteraIIy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:29:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well.. it's technically underground. Under ground.
lutgholein ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:28:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Brazil though.
OneSeventhofMachoMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As if you could fit Texas behind China
Keeper-of-Balance ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he digs deep enough he'll come out on the other side.
Spazdout ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 15:15:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To Texans, Texas is the only country that matters.
LoneStarTwinkie ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:51:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am Texan, can confirm.
blueeyesofthesiren ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2nded. I got in an argument with Santa at The Santa Clause House in North Pole Alaska about which state was ACTUALLY bigger when I was 12.
I don't know if my mom was proud or embarrassed.
LoneStarTwinkie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:58:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The two are not mutually exclusive!
benk4 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:27:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the real stupid thing is why they were teaching kids about China when they could have been teaching about Texas instead.
PhilxBefore ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:25:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in Texas this past summer. Some of them have never left Texas or been on a plane.
Blew their minds that Texas wasn't the largest state when I showed them the numbers.
dannyr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:17:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an Australian I like being in Texas and pointing out Australia has a cattle station bigger than their state. They seemed to get all uppity over that.
professorsnapeswand ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:28:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your wording is weird on this. You make it sound like the cattle station is bigger than the state itself, which is a ridiculous claim. Googled it, it's 7 times bigger than the biggest cattle ranch in Texas. Wording.
dannyr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:08:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry about that
sickly_sock_puppet ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 14:55:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar note, I had an eighth grade student ask why Alaska was so cold if it was next to Hawaii.
MeowmarGaddafi ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:07:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, to be fair, Alaska and Hawaii are usually depicted on the bottom of a US map adjacent to each other.
But still.
sickly_sock_puppet ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:56:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I realized that they had really poor grasps of geography so I had them make freehand maps of the us at the beginning and end of every unit, labelling the relevant parts.
Alaska and Hawaii were left out as the class only went to 1877 and we didn't have time to cover Seward's Folly.
they bitched and moaned, but those little shits could tell the difference between new England and the mid Atlantic. Fwiw we were nowhere near those areas.
staysinbedallday ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:59:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
all classrooms need to have a globe. teaching based on a flat map is so inaccurate and less intuitive , plus globes are fun to use!
sickly_sock_puppet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:31:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the waterman butterfly tbh.
ING_Chile ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:58:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a meme now.
cords55 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:56:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most maps in Texas use an image of Texas as the scale and compass
fnord_happy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:56:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a joke, right? I can't tell anymore
fidgetsatbonfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, its a joke.
lxpnh98_2 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:28:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's really weird.
ThisIsntMyUsernameHi ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:33:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We use the horns on longhorns to measure our shoe sizes. I'm 3/4 longhorn
cords55 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does get weird. Since Texas is bigger than France, a map of France is mostly just a map of Texas.
ThePr1d3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a joke right? Im French and confused
cords55 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:53:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol yes. We have normal maps.
ThePr1d3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking about the fact that Texas is bigger than France though
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:00:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What.
Please explain this more.
Does she know what the US looks like now?
Did she grow up in the US?
punis_mightier ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:59:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was student teaching my freshman world history book had Nelson Mandela on the cover and most of the kids thought it was Morgan Freeman :P Kids are dumb.
RedditHoss ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:32:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Texan, this question isn't that surprising.
Prevo67 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 14:13:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Murica
Hollywoot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But isn't China in Texas? I know it fits I saw it on the net
oilcompanywithbigdic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao a question so dumb, it made you take to reddit to check if it was the dumbest of all time
Lonelan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought this was a weird way to describe the position.
As if you would teach non-students?
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student teaching is when you learn to teach under the supervision of another teacher. The student teacher is both teacher and student, hence the name.
Lonelan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:20:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher-in-training then, or assistant teacher, or even new teacher. I mean we don't see student burger flippers or student register jockey.
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would apply to a variety of positions not specific to student teaching
This has the same problem as "student teacher" where it sounds like you're teaching assistants, and also loses the information about you being a student and not just an assistant. Assistant teacher is also already the name for a different position.
You're not a credentialed teacher until you complete your student teaching, and this title seems to imply otherwise
I don't really see your issue with "student teacher," regardless. It's cute and descriptive
ericpotato97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'd probably been listening to the Doobie Brothers too much
thtrf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easy, next to the big wall used to keep strangers out
UrsaPater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have a wicked awesome user name.
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bears, bears everywhere. Big ones, small ones.
Onion27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus points if this happened in Texas
fritzbitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like r/Lonestar was leaking.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... What? But... What?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/is-stupider-a-word/
snowlarbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kid was a prophet, soon both of those will have a huge wall.
giraffecause ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Soon, boy. Soon."
throwaway11111011111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, he was using Trump's alternate map I see.
missionbeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Texas State Board of Education requires that any map must include Texas
COWRATT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"this IS a map of Texas. Haven't you seen r/me_irl?
Greydusk1324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In school our teachers regularly used Texas as a size indicator when learning countries around the world. It was the 'banana for scale' of geography class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No map without Texas is a map worth a damn anyway.
VY_Cannabis_Majoris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Texas is in America. This is a map of China."
macblastoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When we each picked our country for a country report, one of my fellow students selected Texas. I get the thought process, but...
The sixth grade teacher mocked her mercilessly. I thought then that he was a great teacher. In retrospect he was a bullying jerk.
LegendOfPublo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were you student teaching in Texas?
Admanajw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Texas is the only country I care about."
surrogateuterus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a tattoo on my arm of ohio. I was subbing at a 5-8 gr middle school social studies.
Roughly 3 kids per class i had asked me why i have a tattoo of Texas on my arm.
I had to put up a map of ohio, because i was starting to doubt that i had the right state on there...
sleepingonstones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old was this particular student?
thechurchofharambe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the opposite side
NishanthRaveendran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/me_irl
sirhalos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of related. In my history class in high school we had to fill out country names on a map for a World War II assignment. The front page was of Europe and the back page was of Asia. We were given country names on another page. No it wasn't every single country just the most common ones. Girl asked the teacher where Japan was (she was looking at the front page) because she knew for a fact that it was beside Germany since they were allies during the war. She just couldn't remember if it was a little north or south.
TheKocsis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, when a buddy had presentation we also made super stupid question to hรญm/her for the laughs
HeyJustWantedToSay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, I was on a friend's back porch with other friends. This friend was my then girlfriend's best friend and was known for asking questions first and thinking later. Anyway, we were on the back porch and it was an unusually clear night and someone was like "Look at all the stars, dang," so everyone was looking up. After someone pointed and said, "I think that bright one's Mars," the friend goes, "Oh, cool! Now... which one's Earth?" and she was completely serious, guys. Everyone just stared at her and she goes "... what? (pause, then her eyes go distant and you could see the lights turn on in her head) Oooohhhhhhhh. Nevermind."
GelfandFomin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guarantee that if you zoom in far enough, eventually you will find a small town in China that is named something close enough to texas to call it "texas".
irollthenickels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I had a girlfriend that I had to explain to that China is not in the US. Ex-girlfriend that is.
WTF_Mandingo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the earth does look a lot like the moon.
SleepySundayKittens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair maybe they wanted to orient themselves to the place they know they can pick out on a map...?
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you pointed to the point in space where Texas would be if the map were moved.
You gotta remember that kids these days grew up with google maps, which is a single map containing every place of which any particular rectangle is just a small window onto.
In the minds of someone who grew up using google maps, every map is a small view of an underlying map which is complete. You're never looking at a map that doesn't contain Texas; you're only looking at a map that isn't showing Texas right now.
klaconqueso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were you teaching in Texas?
delicious_tomato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope I don't sound like a jerk, I try not to correct grammar very often, but since you're a teacher, I thought I would point out that "most stupid" should be "stupidest" in your title.
Good question regardless and thank you for starting this thread!
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned that the general rule was ">1 syllable, more and most, 1 syllable, -er, -est"
Ex.: beautiful, more beautiful, most beautiful
Ex.: tall, taller, tallest
Although, this blog says they're interchangeable:
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/is-stupider-a-word/
And I trust grammarly because they're big nerds.
fuzzysalad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The student wasn't technically wrong: http://imgur.com/r/all/Ix9UJQY
mahollinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should've pointed north of the wall
lambchoppe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should have pointed to India
TheRealArchitect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So.... a typical Cowboys fan.
flashypurplepatches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if it was college educated executives.
At my last company, representatives from the China office attend our national meeting. During the opening presentation, in front of nearly 700 people, a slide went up highlighting China on the world map. The executives then profusely thanked our Chinese employees for their efforts. Only problem? They highlighted Japan. The gasps in the room were audible.
Varboa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student has got the right idea though, there should be a texas in every country I reckon
Albino_Bama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The great wall proba my confused him
Darktidemage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha a perfectly USA shaped piece of China.... i hope.
MY-SECRET-REDDIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
similar i suppose but a kid in middle school thought texas was the biggest state because on the map it looks like the biggest state. we where in history class, which i was pretty sure they had covered the annexation of the bigger state, alaska.
Derdude5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I could never be a teacher. If I were in that situation, the student would believe Southern China is Texas, and Trump is trying to erect a second wall.
ialready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was asking about the Texas Instruments factory
Awkward_King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if you're the real Ursula, but I'm a big fan! If you're real I want you to know how much I love you and if this is an uncomfortable awkward different person then, hey, love you too!
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not the real Ursula. I googled my name to find out what you're talking about, and now I'm also a big fan.
This has been my username on various things for almost 5 years now, suddenly a lot of jokes are starting to make sense
Awkward_King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh okay! Slightly disappointed but glad I made her a new fan haha
Sorry
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No need to apologize! I'm just sad that now she'll have to be /u/realUrsulaMajor or something
TheRandomRGU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
American.
binkerfluid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe they just hated that part of Texas
Sedela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar, picture of Europe, countries are all blanked out. Girl points to Spain and says "This is India right?" Dead serious and cried when she found out India wasn't in Europe at all. This was an 11th grade world geography and history class coming up on finals for the year...she went on to AP History the following year...absolute my mind blowing....
TheOldGuy59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the Shandong Peninsula looks just like Long Island, you know. Easy to see how someone made that mistake.
/s
IrisGoddamnIllych ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a town in Texas named China, so...Maybe that helps?
laneferrell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typical Texans.
wolfmann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like he just needed glasses :/
RichardMNixon42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my high school history class, "What's that up there? Next to Canada?" she was pointing at Alaska.
Also, "What was Hitler's last name?"
Not_Just_Any_Lurker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
China, Texas
notathrowaway1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Texas is always around.
broke_gamer_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope it was Texas
EireaKaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in sixth grade, one of my classmates was panicked because she couldn't find Rhode Island. The teacher pulled the big map in the front down and let her look there.
It was a map of Europe.
sipsgooch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to shit on Americans, but it's that kinda thinking as to why everyone else in the world hates you.
twoLegsJimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had an epic, long argument with a guy in a chatroom back when chatrooms were a thing. He insisted that Texas didn't exist and it was the biggest cover up in history. He claimed the US government fabricated it's existence to make the US seem bigger and more intimidating to other nations.
brownboss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, so you taught Dallas Cowboys fans!
onioning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual conversation I heard between housemate and her 14 year old niece:
"Honey, can you find France?"
"Here?"
"No honey, that's the Pacific Ocean. Is France land or water?"
"Water?"
So the basic concept that humans live on land was yet to be grasped.
timothydog76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future. For our children.
Nicolay77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's so Texas.
Azten ยท 17366 points ยท Posted at 13:59:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the college mid term, I had a guy comes up to me that I've never seen in class. He proceeded to ask me what his grade is. Checked the sheet, he never turned in a single piece of homework, no quizzes, never attended a test.
What did you think you'd have? You've got a solid F.
[deleted] ยท 14135 points ยท Posted at 15:27:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
II-o-II ยท 9717 points ยท Posted at 15:32:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated from university years ago. I still have this dream.
typeswithgenitals ยท 4457 points ยท Posted at 15:37:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's crazy how universal this is. Really shitty dream.
Jberczel ยท 1196 points ยท Posted at 15:48:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so im not alone. damn thing is recurring too, even years after graduating.
Duckmanjones1 ยท 293 points ยท Posted at 15:56:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha I graduated years ago and me too! I wonder what psychological effect is causing this in so many people
MannToots ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 15:57:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A very mild form of PTSD imo.
Duckmanjones1 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:09:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The horror, the horror haha.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKcAYMb5uk4
GrokFu ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:01:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still have PTSD from the late 90s when I was notified that I was missing a required math credit (supposed to be transferred) two months before graduation. Fortunately it was a prerequisite to a stats class where I had received an A grade, so the Dean of [something-or-other] gave me credit. This still causes horrible nightmares.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvDFJVUaXUI
Duckmanjones1 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:25:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a problem where my English professor was being inappropriate to the girls in class and was being an asshole to the male students pointing them out in class and saying their work sucked, totally ripping them apart while slyly touching the girls in the class and saying weird comments and asking them to stay after class alone with him and ewww. It was so vile I always went to the bathroom halfway through class to cool down. I wrote an email about it and the dean and English department went bonkers against me trying to protect their teacher (who was forced out at the end of the semester). I feared they were going to kick me out of college so i chose to drop the class which left me with less than full time credits. I needed to be full time for the loans and such to remain in effect so I was very screwed. Luckily my Tae Kwon Do professor let me TA the beginner class to keep my credits full time. Fhew! But colleges suck. Trying to save their "honor" by protecting their disgusting professor instead of his students. The girls in the class had complained as well, but I was the first.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:38:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Duckmanjones1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that sucks man, your advise sounds pretty practical!
dooshtastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Portland State University, by chance? Don't want to call out the prof's name, but holy shit does this sum up one of the dickheads in the SBA's information systems program.
Duckmanjones1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope! I don't wanna even call out the college in particular incase they'll try to sue me over it haha but it was a highly rated State University. It sucks you have to know an asshole in college too :(
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:27:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
_Dorbii_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had something similar happen to me this semester. I ended up going about the advisor and straight to the teacher that was in control of my minor. He called my advisor and they accepted one of my classes as a dual credit. Took like 5 minutes to do.
If the advisor made comments and notes about your track you can reference them when talking to the Dean and that plays favorably because it shows a point of failure. Also make sure to check the guidelines for your degree. My school has different requirements online than in their Stars report because of shitty COBOL code. I ended up getting another class transferred as a credit because of this as well.
Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. It's a shitty situation but you can get through it!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
_Dorbii_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I know that feeling. I was lucky and it got flagged when I applied for this semester (final semester). They tried to tell me I had to take extra classes to get my minor and graduate. I actually went to my boss since I work within the school and something similar happened to him when he attended. Looked online and found the loop holes and got that part fixed then got thrown the situation I described above. Took 2 months for that to clear and it only worked out because when my advisor said there is nothing more we can do I went to the teacher that owned my minor and straight up asked him why he kept denying my appeals.
Happy it worked out for you though! Good luck with your last bit of schooling!
kdarrow13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there any way for you to get the missing credit some other way? If they don't grandfather you in because the requirements change, see if they can add you into the missing class now. You'll be behind and catch up, but if your course load is light it should be doable. Also see if you can get the missing credits by taking a community college class during the summer, which as a single class should be much cheaper than a semester (though still a few thousand).
macegr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:32:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense. Imagine having the same type of dream, but it's about finding yourself on the wrong end of a gun, or being irresistibly dragged towards an IED and you can't stop the vehicle.
TenBunnySandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:15:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or, feeling the blast wave hit you repeatedly, harder each time; knowing that one of these times the force will really kill you, dream or not.
_MrMeseeks ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 15:57:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No
MannToots ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh then do tell me why so many people are having dreams about it that are freaking them out. PTSD doesn't only exist in one form or for only extremely serious things like soldiers coming home from war. Stress is stress and it causes a biological response regardless of the source of that distress. Chronic Adversity is an accepted potential cause of PTSD symptoms.
bannana_surgery ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:34:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OK, so I have this dream and I also have PTSD for something else. It's not the same. Class dream is a bit stressful, maybe, but definitely not "mild" PTSD.
MannToots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should educate yourself on PTSD. You're flatly wrong about it's triggers.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder
Many kinds of stresses can cause PTSD.
bannana_surgery ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, I have it and I know how it works. I mean, someone could get it for this, but I think it's highly unlikely. I think people often think that very stressful = PTSD, and that is 100% not the case.
MannToots ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:26:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm literally saying it because of the symptoms. Not because people are stressed. You completely have how I approached this backwards. You don't see a stressed person and start looking for PTSD. You see the PTSD and look for the stressor. The reoccuring dreams 100% related to a deliberately stressful and reoccurring aspect of a persons life absolutely points to a form of PTSD. It fits the symptoms. Even psychologists start with the symptoms and go backwards.
That does not make you an expert in every possible version of PTSD that exists. That's not how it works. A person with cancer doesn't suddenly know about every form of cancer other than their version. Same for you and your PTSD.
nerdbomer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:46:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get what you guys are arguing; but I also get what the other guy is saying. Even according to your wikipedia article:
I'm not sure if it meets those criteria in most people experiencing the dream. I have that reoccuring dream of forgetting a class and stuff. It doesn't cause a dysfunction in life or clinical levels of distress. Medically it wouldn't classify as PTSD, even if it acts using the same or similar mechanism, due to it's lack of impact.
MannToots ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then what would it be? It's clearly something that presents the same. I know of no other PTSD like condition that presents the same but with lesser impact. It's still not normal to have these reoccurring dreams about a stressful part of your life for this very long. I mean I've straight woken up in cold sweats over this and panicked. It's very physical.
nerdbomer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that's just "post-dramatic stress".
Disorders are medically classifiable issues with distinct criteria. If your symptoms aren't strong enough to constitute a disorder, it isn't one. Having a dream that makes you scared isn't quite the same as having that happen to the point that it effects your day-to-day.
MannToots ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one said it was scary. In fact I explicitly said it wakes me in cold sweats and panicked. So I guess at this point you're just being dismissive. Thanks I'll look into PSD but I still don't feel like you're actually listening.
edit Post Dramatic Stress doesn't exist as far as I can find. Acute Stress Reaction was the next closest thing. So I guess you're dismissive and making things up? Got a source for PSD?
bannana_surgery ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:32:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
K.
HeilHitla ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:59:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, PSD.
purplespacekitten ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same! I graduated years ago, and I still have that dream. I never knew it was a common thing.
Duckmanjones1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We should form a group therapy for people like us! Apparently there's alot!
SimbaOnSteroids ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:39:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally dozens!
kinetic-passion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:41 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/alot
texastracy123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same! The weird thing is that I never thought about it before reading this thread.
FriedaSpeech ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:13:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a few years after I graduated college, I would have nightmares that my high school diploma was invalid and I had to go back to high school. I'd be screaming in the dream, "But I graduated college!" Horrible!
MoogieCowser ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:10:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I have this dream more than the college ones.
For me it's always walking through a weird version of my high school's halls around exam time whilelooking at a schedule I can't read (because i can never really read in dreams) and I'm trying to figure out if I've been to the class before. But at times I remember that I finished college, but I am still stressed out about it.
So confusing and annoying
Skittle_Ew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Word for word exactly how some of mine have gone. The last time I "realized" I could just go take the G.E.D test instead of all these classes. I'm hoping this means I will only have a few more of these "didn't graduate HS" dreams once I take that G.E.D test-in the dream-.
Duckmanjones1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup yup me too haha ohhh boy!
Wand_Cloak_Stone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was just me! I have both these dreams, but the high school one is worse because I'm closing in on 30 now.
digital_wino ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:32:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have dreams that I'm back in high school and I can't remember what class I have next, or if I can, what room it's in...
OhellMichelle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:08:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the dream I have. Or I don't know where my locker is or the combination.
digital_wino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:17 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... Actually didn't know where my locker was or the combination. I just carried all my shit.
topCyder ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:26:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These dreams actually are not quite as universal as you may think - people who have trouble with executive functioning (i.e. severe ADD) won't have these dreams. Dreams like these are triggered by the same alert system that makes you remember that you left something on the printer on your way out. Those little executive "blips" aren't present or are much more infrequent in folks that struggle with this stuff.
Therefore, it is my conclusion that even though life sucks almost all the time when you completely forget that a task even exists, it has its benefit in that you don't get shitty "oh no I forgot that really important thing" dreams.
admiralfilgbo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a parallel universe you actually do have that class, and when you're asleep and dreaming you are most susceptible to the transparency between these universes.
Duckmanjones1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BWAAAAAHHHHHH, BWAAAAHHHHH!!!!
And the next mega blockbuster is born!
EmeraldFlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
uh
a n x i e t y
Migmatite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anxiety
uhh37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you would know if you didn't forget to attend that psychology class
ImonlyonwhenIpoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this dream still but with overdue bills instead of missed tests.
DenverDudeXLI ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:04:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm two decades removed from my college days and I still have that dream. That's a good news (you're not alone, yay) bad news (it never ends, boo) sort of thing.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:59:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Three decades for me. I have that dream regularly.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:23:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
infinitelives ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:31:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I knew what caused it so I could help the rest of you out, but for me those dreams completely stopped about five years ago, roughly 7 years after graduating.
They were very powerful dreams too โ I would always wake up in a cold sweat with a foggy mind, and it would take a couple of minutes until I could remember and reassure myself that I had already graduated and that I was a working adult now and didn't even have any classes to go to.
It just so happens that the dreams finally stopped around the time I got into my current line of work, which I find very fulfilling. Correlation doesn't necessarily equal causation, so I don't know if that actually has anything to do with them stopping, but it's the only thing I can think of.
FutureNactiveAccount ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:38:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not alone. Have this dream too, this one and my teeth falling out are my 2 most common recurring dreams.
HeilHitla ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:00:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently there's a whole website about that one
http://www.teethfallingoutdream.org/
AnnieB25 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:45:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had the teeth falling out dream. My most recurring dreams are the class one, navigating impossible staircases, and being a long way from home and there's some obstacle keeping me from going back.
urn___ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the class and staircase one too. The staircase one I've had the longest and most frequently. The class one didn't start till my last few years of high school. It's crazy seeing that these experiences aren't unique.
Enigmutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine, too!
bzzzt_beep ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:41:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd
Roguesuperman ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:33:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. Thank you Reddit for the free counseling session.
travworld ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I still have dreams that I'm in high school, and I can't find my planner to check what class I have next. Kids are scurrying to their next class and I don't know what mine is.
jsmoo68 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:34:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a recurring nightmare that I have to redo high school because they lost my records of having graduated โฆ I'm almost 50.
tifu_allstar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly how mine happens
babayaga803 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:19:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been having this same issue for years...You are not alone. This is a real fear.
Sjcolian27 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:49:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated 10 years ago and still have this dream.
motivation_vacation ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I'm long past my college days and still have this dream too. For me, it's always a class that I would struggle with too and have no hopes of being able to catch up quickly, like calculus.
radicallyhip ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:37:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PTSD from college. No wonder we need safe spaces now.
Synacku ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:53:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit I still do this 6 years later
thesunscreen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:18:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope not alone, still have one every couple of months.
instant_michael ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:19:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated nearly 14 years ago and I still get it on occasion.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:17:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
same, I wake up in cold sweat. The dream usually has me being sent back to high school
LWZRGHT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we have a psychological need to get approval from authority. It's not even close to death, but the fear is gripping during the moments of that dream.
obsidianop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah super common.
I had a related nightmare come true. After 10 years of grad school on the eve of my PhD thesis defense I realized I had forgotten to register for a single credit for a seminar I had attended five years earlier.
That one took a lot of begging and paperwork to sort out.
Ubergeeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After graduating years ago I still dream that there was a mistake with my grades and I haven't passed after all
phlat6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easily a decade after graduating I had a recurring dream I'd signed up for a full course load and somehow only showed up to one or two classes a week, missing homework, class assignments, tests, etc like crazy... and I would stress out but I could not fix it. Nothing more frustrating.
rangkloic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my third year, and I've never had this dream. I feel like the alone one.
CantFindMyWallet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated ten years ago and still have this dream probably twice a year.
wsnwsk27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It never even crossed my mind that other people might have this same recurring dream. Now I'm very curious why that's a thing, because I've had it for a while now
Lothar_Ecklord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same two things, every time too - either 1. I am late to class, and I didn't do the homework; I wake up and realize, not only is it 4am, but I have been out of college for 4 years, or 2. The new term started and I completely spaced on it and have missed weeks of all classes. The variation on the second one is that I only miss certain classes, but on a consistent basis. Sometimes an odd variable is thrown in - a family member, a relationship dream, or maybe something with demonic possession, but the basic idea fits into one of those two categories, every time.
People have asked if I've ever had the dream where I give a presentation, only to realize that I am nude, but the fact is that I am nude in most of my dreams and it is awesome/not a source of anxiety, so I don't count that as a theme.
spygirl43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 50 and still have that dream.
logicsquirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I haven't been in a classroom in about 15 years and still have this dream. The other one is that I've forgotten about a big project that was due.
Top_Rekt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had this happen so often it feels like I actually did forget a class.
FerrisBueIIer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had this dream last year (years after graduating) and still remember it today (I don't normally remember dreams). Horrifying.
Starbuck001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated years ago and I still get that dream also. It's crazy that I'm not alone. I thought I was the only one.
jeanneeebeanneee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still have this dream after being out of college almost 20 years. My 68 year old mom has told me she still has it from time to time. Guess we all better get used to it.
Fenway_Refugee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck I'm 38 years old and I still have nightmares about missing the goddamn bus! (Grade School/Elementary I mean, not the city buses)
pwnz0rd ยท 1772 points ยท Posted at 15:45:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even a dream for me, I used to literally get online and recheck my schedule like 3 times a semester.
[deleted] ยท 1237 points ยท Posted at 15:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I checked my schedule yesterday to make sure i was actually in all the classes I've been taking and found out I'm in a chemistry class I had no idea about
appaulson91 ยท 1425 points ยท Posted at 16:00:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I just rechecked my schedule now. Good news, no unknown classes. Bad news, saw my bill for tuition.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great, I just checked my schedule. Bad news, apparently I didn't pay my tuition so I'm not enrolled in any of the classes I've been attending. Good news, I'm free for the rest of the semester.
Anonyberry ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:23:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know that feeling :(
PQB196 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:07:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me. Lost all my classes but got them back plus two more I didn't get before. High risk, high reward!
sjgzg ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:39:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
done that. did you die? i died.
SpinningMadness ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:46:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think you're dying now? Wait til you see how much it cuts off of your paycheck each month...
appaulson91 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:55:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone through that hence why I'm back in college.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:54:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did that recently. Can confirm, I died.
scotchirish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get better?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He should be fine. Probably just walked it off.
datascream11 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:04:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same except 2 good news No unknown classes No tuition = I am European
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:55:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah for first 2 years in community college. My education is payed for with the pelle grant alone.
BeerBaconBoobies ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pbandthatsmyjam ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:31:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your point?
Paperweight88 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:28:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just fake being Mormon, their schooling is less than 2k a semester, and after the 12th credit all credits are free.
appaulson91 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:59:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only at just under 4000 and everything over the 12th is free.
Paperweight88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stick to that then, it's cheaper in the long run and you won't have to deal with the cult.
MrFizzles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just threw up a little thinking about the bill for my tuition. I have no idea where it's going to come from, I'm going to end up getting my car repo'd if I have to keep choosing between making my car payment or tuition payment.
N7Alpha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look into loan forgiveness in your job field. Some places offer to pay your loans from school if you work in a specific set of circumstances for a period of time. You just pay interest. So you could feasibly pull out loans to cover school, then pay the interest while you work when you graduate. Then have the loans paid off.
Dunno if that's an option for you, but it's worth mentioning. Cheers!
MrFizzles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:37:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I'm definitely hoping for it but I couldn't take out enough loans to cover tuition this semester I have to pay what isn't covered by May in order to graduate
N7Alpha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, that's rough /: I went through much of the same. Barely able to get some funding in time to graduate. Have you tried looking into your bank? Credit unions, if you can get into one, usually have great loan services for stuff like school. And it's independent of loans through school. It's just straight cash to you personally from them, that you pay back. Maybe that can top you off?
Just spitballing. I really hope you figure it out and graduate this year buddy!
MrFizzles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took what I had out of my retirement account from my old job to help out, but still short. But my credit isn't the best to take out a loan. I had to get a cosigner to get approval for my car, after the one I had paid off was totaled last month (no public transportation here) I had to get another one. I could've used that money to pay the rest. I think I'm going to set up some stuff on ebay or local sale/trade groups and see if I can close the gap
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
god bless america. i love capitalism
Arnold_Layn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:09:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the reminder - I'll take a nap right now, and check my dream schedule, to make sure I'm not missing any dream classes.
JimmysPC ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:58:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the same dream! I found out with 4 hours left in the semester I had an online class I didn't know about. I rushed to do a semesters worth of work in 4 hours.
dontbeblackdude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How'd that turn out?
JimmysPC ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:50:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a nightmare!
dontbeblackdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyyyyy
duckyblinders ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost makes you wish you had forgotten a class you signed up for.
Genericname346 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:21:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worse news: you'll be seeing that bill for years to come.
mad_mister_march ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 16:11:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't been in school since 2013, and this still gave me anxiety, like i've been forgetting classes for the last 4 years.
[deleted] ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 16:18:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh fuck, my master's program!"
TheWizard01 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:55:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What blows my mind is how a student can come to class once, and then never again. Never drop it, nothing. Doesn't answer any email asking if they are planning in returning or dropping the class. They just drop off the map. Happens several times a semester.
inibrius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:47:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took classes like that. Went the first day to get the syllabus and the test schedule, showed up for the midterm and final tests, passed the classes. Mandatory english and math classes can eat a dick when they have nothing to do with your major.
XDresser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:40:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It must be nice to have teachers who don't put homework and class participateion as 60% of your grade.
inibrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this was the 90s. we wouldn't have stood for that.
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:47 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only 90s college kids remember.
Stillframe39 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:25:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is that even possible? In college you make your own schedule by signing up for classes yourself every semester. How do you have a class you had no idea about?
livelyshoes ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:34:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YMMM but certain universities make you your own schedule if you're living on campus for your freshman year. Depending on your major, you will obviously get assigned the major-related classes you expect, but it's easy to forget about the electives. I know I had my schedule right in front of me and I almost missed a programming class I had on Tuesdays and Thursdays cause I was too busy making sure I memorized when I had calculus and chemistry. Anxiety does some shit to ya, man.
NotClever ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:45:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Often times people will sign up for more classes than they actually intend to take, because they're not sure they want to take class X for whatever reason (teacher may be bad, subject matter may be not what they want) so they also sign up for class Y as a backup. Then they decide to stick with one over the other, and drop the backup.
The fear when you do this is that you will forget to drop your backup classes and not realize it until you've passed the final drop deadline, at which point you will be fucked because you will be enrolled in a class you haven't attended for half a semester.
That's assuming he was being metaphorical in saying he "had no idea" about it, and he just meant that he didn't remember it. If he actually had never signed up for it, I guess livelyshoes' comment is the only thing that makes sense.
princessdracos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just described my recurring nightmare. It's a long, drawn-out dream where I keep forgetting to go to a class, and I keep meaning to drop it but never do. For a perfectionist who would cry if she lost her 4.0, this is absolutely horrifying. Please don't be in my dreams tonight!
NotClever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I never really did this in undergrad so it wasn't something I was worried about, but in law school the registration system required you to basically put in a bunch of backup classes just in case you didn't get into your first choice classes, and I was always paranoid I would get registered into one of those and forget about it.
Platinumdogshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could talk to the professor at that point and they might let you drop. It happens
superlethalman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this is the case for OP, but in most UK universities you don't 'sign up' for classes. You are given a schedule based on your degree path and you attend the lectures and classes on that schedule.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These are our future managers, bosses, and fathers.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:00:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had registered for it but it conflicted with a class that was for my major so I thought I had dropped it but nope.
thesunscreen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:18:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's fucked, and then there's you, way passed fucked. You can't even see fucked from where you are.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:32:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily I found out yesterday because today is the last day to drop before it goes on my 'script
Risen_Warrior ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does this happen? Lol. Do you not schedule your own classes?
pm_me_pics_ppl_pm_u ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, just be glad it's still early in the semester.
Worst I've done was signing up for a class for 9:45 and a 8:00 class. I live off campus and turns out it was a 8PM class so twice a week I got an 9 hour wait between classes.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:39:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than 8am class... i have one 3 days a week and its brutal.
pm_me_pics_ppl_pm_u ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You young whippersnappers! I had classes that started at 7:15!
Actually, I like morning classes because I'm usually more alert in the mornings, sets up my day and I try to get my work done before having the evening to go drink or play video games. Also prevents me from partying too hard during the weekdays.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always was a morning person; then the heat went out in my car. Now I dread having to leave my nice warm bed to take a sometimes cold shower, freezing my ass off in the Midwestern winters for 20 minutes on my drive there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did last semester and I was both figuratively and literally dying.
clotsicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Currently at work and have been out of school for about a year. Your comment just gave me an intense pit of anxiety in my stomach and the uncontrollable urge to check my course schedule that doesn't exist.
BOOBOOMOOMOO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But isn't it so early in the semester that you can drop it? Good thing you checked!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I dropped it today and it's not on my transcript. It's weird that I didn't even pay for it but I was listed in the class. Loophole, maybe?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just checked my schedule as I'm typing because you freaked me out. Turns out I've been out of college for eight years and yup...I'm supposed to be in Pop Culture Lit MWF.
belles1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey don't tell me that. I don't need that in my life.
Timedintelligence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MY FEARS HVE BEEN REAFFIRMED.
bbrown44221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good Christ, these are common symptoms of post-trauma disorders.
iRideBMX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I forgot I was waitlisted for that class that I apparently got dropped into last week. Whoops... At least it's still add drop period
aubergineshinobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the new nightmare everyone
Juggernauticall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you guys not make your own class schedule in college?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We do but I had registered for it initially but a class more pertinent to my major ended up conflicting with it. Then when I went to remove it, it did from my end so when I printed my schedule it didn't show up. Then when I was in the advising office for something I thought what the hell and had them print out my schedule again and the chem class I thought I dropped was still on there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you forget that you signed up for a class? You took the time to find a time slot that was suitable for you and you had to actively search for that particular class. Even with that, in the first few days you have to look at your schedule to find out where your classes are so you still should have seen it then. I genuinely don't understand this.
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just walk into the chemistry class and start drinking stuff to ease the stress.
KennyWells ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LPT screenshot your full schedule and make it the background on your phone. I did this with my ipad actually cuz I had a slide phone with a 2inch screen.
MT_work ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:59:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a dream earlier this year that convinced me that I didn't earn my masters. I had to log into my old transcripts to double check that morning.
PassTheDisinfectant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:08:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually did that once. English comp. Showed up about 3/4 through the semester and found out I was going to fail so I went and tested out of the class
Kubla_Khan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I check my schedule online every morning when I wake up and on my way to every class. So anywhere from two to six times a day, depending.
Also, I double triple quadruple check room numbers, because I have this irrational fear that I will walk in to a wrong classroom.
And this will go on throughout the semester.
madeAPokeMongoName ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally just missed a lab because I thought it was at 11 and it's really at 10...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude every time i check my schedule online at the beginning of a new semester i get scared that i'll accidentally drop a class
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow is that even possible, I graduated and never once thought that could ever happen. Not sure how I could take an extra class and never know lmao.
lcpl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just had to check after reading this
Epic_Doughnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only 3? Filthy casual...
Maeglom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had classes added to my schedule, but once i've had all my classes dropped for no reason any one could figure out like 4 weeks into the semester.
ikijibiki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've triple checked to make sure I'm taking all the final courses I need to graduate in a few months and even with written confirmation from my advisor I'm still not fully convinced.
PM_your_Tigers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were semesters where I did this on almost a weekly basis.....
cj4k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman year I was signed up for way too many credits and of course there was one class that got neglected. I rarely showed up to lectures and would only show up for quizzes and tests. It was getting to the point that I had no idea what was going on in the class but was so involved with the other classes I wasn't even thinking about it. One day I'm sitting in another class and it just dawns on me, I missed the fucking midterm for that class. I almost had a heartattack. Went straight to the administration and explained and was told that you get 1 free drop of a class that wont count againt your GPA, but you only get one so make sure. Obviously I used it. Really lucked out there, but I still have this reoccurring nightmare til this day. I sometimes will have a super vivid dream that I did it again, and when I wake up it still feels real until I realize I haven't been in school for 5 years....
xorgol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've once done the opposite. I had two classes separated by an empty slot, which was used for a computer graphics class I didn't have in my course plan. I started following the lectures to fill up the time, and completely forgot I couldn't do the exam, as I had already maxed out the option courses.
ajh6w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a nickel for every time I checked my schedule in the first two weeks of any semester, I wouldn't have even needed college, as I would have made enough to comfortably retire by my 3rd semester.
TwoHands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every week or so, I'd do the panic schedule check because of the forgotten class... it got worse the quarter after my first online class, because I now had the possibility of an online class that I may have forgotten about.
I've been out of college for a while now and on very groggy mornings, I still have that panic.
Atleast_12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I check mine like everyday right now
Dubookie ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:50:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So glad I'm not alone on this. Graduated over 5 years ago, and I still wake up terrified I forgot to go to one of my classes needed to graduate.
watcherintgeweb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:50:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother still has this dream and she's 50
Rude-E ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:55:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's quite reassuring to see this is such a common thing, I've woken up feeling so terrible many a time
AP3Brain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:03:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I get panic sweats from this one. Ugh
hedoeswhathewants ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:21:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really is fascinating considering how moderately specific it is. Also I doubt it's ever happened to 99.99% of people and it's not a traditional fear you see in TV or movies
My_Ass_Itch ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:55:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then you wake up, and it's the greatest feeling ever because you realize you didn't miss 3/4ths of Dr. Zajac's class.
HitlerHistorian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its why I nail my college degrees above my bed.
duelingdelbene ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:58:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The waking up feeling of relief is amazing though
marcan42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it takes me a minute or two after waking up to realize that this is not my dorm room, this is my bedroom, in another country, and I graduated years ago.
azure_scens ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:22:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I have this one too, 7 years out of college, Reddit is great for finding people who dream just as weird shit as me. Thanks!
Redditmucational ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad now though. I've never had this dream.
pbradley179 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Modern society hasn't given us enough shit to really be worried about so we suffer from nebulous anxiety.
Wearebastille ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had it last night and I'm 4 years out of college
bring1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was the only one. Dang.
HeartofSaturdayNight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have it so often that I've convinced myself at this point my diplomas are fake.
tallformyheight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had this dream during my senior year in high school despite having a full schedule, I'd imagine that there's this extra class I forgot and skipped all year
maccas_run ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or that dream where you show up to high school but you forgot to put pants on
Ilejwads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
never had it before but I'm doubting myself a lot right now
Hixy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just had this dream last week. Graduated a year ago.
spectrumero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a different dream, which is probably just as common - I have an exam, and whatever method I try of getting to the exam fails, e.g. I go to the train station and all the trains are cancelled, my bicycle has a puncture, the car won't start, the bus breaks down, and it's too far to walk.
Iliketrainschoo_choo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I wasn't a good student when I first tried college, and actually did skip too many classes so the fear is based on reality so its an awful feeling.
givemeadamnuser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until this exact moment I thought that my memory was just really fuzzy about that Spanish class I forgot about back when I was in school.
Of course it was a dream, thanks Reddit!
keep_it_kayfabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was the only one. I graduated in 1997 and still have this dream every now and then. So weird!
NorthStarZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Part of me thinks this actually happened in the Berenstein universe.
UTHorsey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checking in to confirm that 10 years out of college, I too have this dream.
nicorns_are_real ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've still got it too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, have it most nights and I graduated from University twenty years ago.
m_science ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, literally me in 9th grade.
sharzic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not alone!
hazzdawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dream this too. When I wake up it takes a while to convince myself that I did actually graduate from university ten years ago.
ConspiracyPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Been out of college for nearly 30 years. Still have that terrifying dream. I wish I never went to college!!
horror_unfolds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it universal though? I want to know what people who live out in the middle of remote villages have stress dreams about. Cholera and being eaten by wild animals probably.
typeswithgenitals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not literally universal. Aliens probably don't have it
Vindelator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit balls. I have that too. I'm 34.
TrepanationBy45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL school gives people PTSD.
JakenVeina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, except I actually did this once.
Inferiex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of school for around a decade now and I still get this dream.
Gorgenapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still felt like I did not attend any of my math exams.
TheHornyToothbrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not healthy what the education system does?
IMainlyLurk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated high school almost 20 years ago. I occasionally dream that I never got my high school diploma and I need to go back to finish it.
Occasionally part of my mind rebels and goes "Hey! I have college degrees and years of experience! This doesn't make sense! No one gives a shit about high school!" and I wake up. But other times I'm just wondering around my old high school trying to figure out my schedule again.
ladylurkedalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This and the one where you can't remember your locker combination from high school.
typeswithgenitals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have a locker at my school
spocmank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 28 and I still regularly dream that it's the last day before high school graduation and I forgot to go to one class all year. Fortunately I usually decide to heck with it and just go snowboarding.
lib4lyf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, my husband still has this dream occasionally and we graduated over 15 years ago!
Death_Star_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lived this fucking dream. Twice.
It was a legal ethics class, the textbook was written by the teacher, and the final exam was open book. This was all declared on the first day. (in law school final exams are 100% of your grade, though some teachers adjust grades for participation).
I went to the first class and proceeded to skip every. Single. Class. I showed up to the final exam and like half the questions were not at all in the book. He apparently taught many cases and rules that weren't in his text book.
Got a C-.
I had 5 final exams in 8 days and lost in the shuffle was which was open book and which was closed book.
I went 4-4 remembering the right formats. The last test (Real Estate Law) I thought was open book, so I skimmed a little, practiced a little, but mostly wrote up my very own "index" of topics likely to be asked and where to find them. I was going to Saving Private Ryan Nazi stab this exam in the chest while whispering "ssshhhhhh" as the professor would be the coward with all the ammo around his neck around the corner, afraid to grade my monster exam.
I show up. The proctor starts writing on the chalk board.
She draws a crescent..."C."
Then a line downward and I'm thinking, "do not turn right." It turned right. "L."
"CLOSED BOOK EXAM."
Fuuuuuccccckkkkkk
I showed up to an closed-book exam like it was open-book.
Got a B+ though. Somehow.
Reddit, which is worse? Showing up to an open-book exam prepared for a closed book, or showing up to a closed book exam believing it's open-book?
Both feelings constantly give me nightmares. 8 years later.
andoink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL this is a thing. This absolutely happens to me.
thedastardlyone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me 9. I think it is because i had a penchant of not going to class.
U_PB_And_Jealous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently it usually happens when you perceive yourself to be incompetent or otherwise behind in your day to day life, usually at work.
deeplife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really surprised though. It always comes up in threads like this and yet I never had that fear even remotely. I never even thought about that. I can see my list of courses online. I signed up for them. Why would I fear there's an extra class?
I'm not judging or anything, just genuinely curious why this would be so common.
maybe_little_pinch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wake up in a panic sometimes. I have classes that I passed with full marks that I cannot remember attending. I slept through Ancient History, apparently.
maluminse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slight variation. I get a call that some class was incomplete. So i dont have a degree which means my graduate degree is also gone.
confoundedvariable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One theory I've heard about dreaming is it's our brain's way of preparing us for problematic situations, so it could be the influence of conscious stressors on our unconscious thoughts. The things that stress us out the most are what most frequently occur, thus leading to the universal "showing up to school naked" dream or other such dilemmas.
sgt_science ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's nice to know I'm not the only one
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitty-dream-haver checking in here. No matter how many times I go to college in my dreams, there's ALWAYS a class I somehow completely forget about.
Twothumbsthisgy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait for the one where it's your wedding day and you're trying to weasel out of it.
G00bernaculum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get it with jobs too. It's never a good job in my dream either, it's like, "oh shit I'm late for my shift at walmart"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had that dream before but I've got a kind of project due PTSD and sometimes wake up in a panic thinking I'm really late for something.
Todann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can this be so common? I remember very well every single class I sign up for, considering I'm paying thousands of dollars each, there's no way I could forget. Those people must be on financial aid or something, how could you just totally forget about a several thousand dollar expense?
KeplerOrion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had never considered this until just now. I'm going to stress out over this way more than I should I know it. Fuck you guys :(
tuller29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even attend college and I've had this dream. Completely serious.
macleod2486 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup three years onwards and I still have that random wake up thinking I completely skipped out on a class.
Phytomancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this and a variation where I forgot about a section I was supposed to be TA'ing.
clnsdabst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh it's not so bad for me. I just sit down, look at the test, think to myself "I'm fucked, here goes nothing", and I wake up.
burkean88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people live the dream.
Classified0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have this really scary dream where I forgot to hand in a final exam. Until one day, I actually forgot.
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it was more of a project/paper/assignment was due but I forgot about it. I had that dream quite a few times in college.
imagineALLthePeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I beat this dream. I took a class and intentionally did everything like in the dreams. Never went to class, never took the tests. Failed the class at the end of the semester, but I had taken enough extras and labs that it didnt even dent my credits. The nightmare never came back, I've lived it and it didn't hurt me at all.
So my transcipt has an F, I graduated completely on time and that nightmare is gone forever.
fear-is-the-mind-killer
Korashy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a year or two after graduation I kept dreaming that I was back in college or high school, and they didn't let me leave and I kept trying to tell them that I already graduated and they fuck off. Annoyed the crap out of me.
Was never even anxious about it, college was the best time ever and I would go back in a heartbeat, but god damn trying to explain to a professor that you aren't in his class in your dreams is annoying.
datacollect_ct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I think everyone gets a little PTSD from college.
marshmallowdoggo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the best thing I've ever read is a comment from a professor saying that he had dreams where he forgot to teach for a whole semester and showed up at the final with a bunch of pissed students
GodMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is that I have French class in high school that I need to finish to graduate, even though I've been out of high school for almost 15 years and no longer remember much of anything from French class.
ResultsVary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am 31. Graduated college about 7 years ago. Been working my career for 3 years.
I had this dream last night. Woke up at 3, sprinted out to my laptop, opened it up and tried signing into my old student portal. When my "username and password are incorrect" flashed on the screen - I came to my senses.
ZackMorris78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me last week. I am almost 40 years old.
hypertown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anxiety dreams. Many people also have dreams of losing their car keys. I tend to have dreams where I lost my keys and my car is in the middle of a river.
Jacob_C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just laugh when I wake up. Then I realize I'm awake and need to deal with life. :/
InsaneBeagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I don't suffer from this. If you don't show up to class the first few days they remove you from the list at my school.
aethelmund ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't go to college but I still have dreams that I still have one more year of high school and it might as well be a nightmare
Marcurial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had this dream for the first time last semester, and it has stuck with me since
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have one where my school informs me that, because I didn't get the pre-req high school class that would have qualified me for one of the classes I had freshman year in college, my college degree had been revoked and I would need to re-do my high school course so that I could go back to college and re do all the classes I did to earn my diploma again. And I'm naked for some reason.
Ovreel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised how many people have this dream or similar.
I have a recurring dream that I'm back in college and keep missing a class because I can't remember what it is. It's bizarre.
Anderkent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rather than crazy it's evidence how traumatic and abusive schooling is. You literally have PTSD
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always have the dream that I should stop skipping class and a horrible feeling I'll fail.
kimvais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that the dream I had for 10+ years that I was back in the army and for some clerical error or whatnot it wasn't over yet or I had to redo the whole thing is at least as common in all countries with conscription.
gormster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And there is, of course, a relevant xkcd.
thatcrazylady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was that I have to go back to high school because they figured out I was short a PE credit and would otherwise revoke my diploma. It stayed with me for many years. When I had a baby, I had to bring her. When I started substitute teaching, I could teach all the periods but one and have to take PE. Somewhere around 8 years of teaching in (when I had to teach my regular classes and go take PE with my students), it morphed into the college "I have never attended class and can't remember or access my schedule" dream.
rip10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a classic example of ptsd. This might sound like a joke, but I'm serious. Having a dream of failing school 25 years after graduating? That seems an awful lot like undiagnosed ptsd.
gheradel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really that crazy. They spent so much of the budget on the CGI they couldn't afford to pay a writer for more than a few dreams. We're all stuck dreaming the same stuff. Itโs really bad. I mean hell, they even have to work in nights where we think we dreamt something but don't remember. It's a fake out, we didn't actually dream! It's all a lie to cover up the budget issues!
ProfSwagstaff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing- every time I wake up from it, it takes me about ten seconds or so to remember that I'm not taking any classes right now. On first waking, that seems impossible. I graduated over a decade ago.
LinearLamb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's not forget the dream about showing up at school in your underwear or naked.
Crumps_brother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never went to university and I'm in my 30s. I have this dream once or twice a year.
Shinkaru ยท 761 points ยท Posted at 15:40:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too!! I graduated almost 10 years ago and I still have nightmares that I signed up for a class, forgot about it, then flunked it. I thought I was the only one.
I also went to a military college and get a dream where they call me one day and say that I didn't do enough time in the corp of cadets and have to return to do an additional semester. I wake up in a panic, because it means that I have to quit my job, move away, and hate every day of my life for several months.
College was not my favorite experience...
nochickflickmoments ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:49:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah. I have dreams I'm the age I am now but have to go back to high school because I missed a class. That was almost 20 years ago. I also have dreams that somebody messed up on my Army paperwork and I have to go back to basic training. Scary
anonymous_subroutine ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:21:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the dream that other people have mentioned--about being in college and signing up for a class and then forgetting about its existence until the last minute. But I've also had dreams that I've gone back to high school to try to get a better grade in a certain class. Why a college graduate would do such a thing, if it were even possible, beats me.
DanaMorrigan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Replaying the level for a higher score?
PM_ME_UR_REDDIT_GOLD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah achievement hunting or collecting unlockables I guess.
Homitu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:36:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm about 30 and occasionally have a dream that my entire high school class has to go back for another year of high school as our current adult selves. It doesn't necessarily get very eventful, if I can recall, but it is interesting. We all essentially hop back into our old friend groups, but we're much more mature and respectful toward everyone outside of our groups. Everyone intermingles to some extent, and all is well.
It's like my brain is putting a happy ending on the high school story that traditionally is left open and unresolved.
Edit: I've never attended a high school reunion.
nochickflickmoments ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to 3 different high schools so my dreams include all my friends from all the schools. Crowded
Epic21227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ive had dreams like this.
DJTen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this same dream! Even though I'm in my 40s and graduated high school with no problems. In the dream, for some reason, I have missed 9 days of class and you can only 10 unexcused absences so I'm scrambling to get to school on time so I don't miss that last day and end up not graduating.
This is just one variation I have on the not-graduating-from-high-school dream.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was dangerously close to failing a class for unexcused absences (5) and used to have dreams that I woke up late all the time.
kierkekurt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That gave me chills..
dewymeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better, even if something actually was messed up with your HS diploma, after that amount of time you'd almost certainly just take a class for your GED and you'd be surrounded by adults, not go back to high school.
nochickflickmoments ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't.
eylookturkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had this one, as well as one where I get sent clear back to middle school.
Postgrifter ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 15:48:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Post traumatic school disorder.
Nabber86 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:21:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is probably some truth to that. Trying to get through college and get a job was very traumatic to me and would explain why I and so many others have the same dream.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:08:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
anonymous_subroutine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, it's been 12 years for me also. Although I used to have that dream maybe 10 times a year and now it's down to maybe 2 so at least it's getting better!
TrandaBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit me, too. Every spring for the past decade, I still get that same nightmare and it keeps me from graduating.
bannana_surgery ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:37:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I left high school early and took the CA equivalency test to basically get my HS diploma, and I have had dreams that I have to go back and finish high school. I'm in my mid 30s.๐
Death_Star_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:40:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a fraternity and during our hell week as pledges (the final week before becoming "brothers" where they do all that homoerotic hazing shit, although part of our hazing was pretty traumatic: we had 21 in our class, and at all times during the day, there needed to be a rotation of 2 pledges watching Requiem for a Dream as it would play on repeat for a week. That's about 85 showings. I watched it probably 8-9 times in a week. Harrowing. Haunting.
And we had to sleep in the FUCKING conference room on the floor with no pillows or blankets. We basically got no sleep for a week.
I still went to class. Big freshman lecture for sociology. I fell right asleep. I wake up, and EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT ME. Why? Because everyone just took and finished the pop quiz and the professor specifically told the 80 students to not make a peep and let me just enjoy my slumber as my pop quiz stayed unpopulated.
I didn't even get to write my name on it. If it were the SATs I would have gotten a zero.
If I wasn't so exhausted I would have been more embarrassed.
xIdontknowmyname1x ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I get this dream even though my college drops you from the roster if you don't attend the first class and don't respond to several emails about your absence. Like, it's literally impossible for me to do this yet it's still my biggest fear.
_1963 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have dreams that I have to go back to high school. You're all making me feel so much better about it--I'm so glad I'm not the only one!
BaryOwen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too went to a military college and I had nightmares about this while in Afghanistan.
ElectricMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which college?
Also- 7th cav?
HighWizardOfLaw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is incredibly cathartic for me to read accounts of so many others who are having the same recurring nightmares as me.
NorthStarZero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I as well went to a military college, but did not graduate right away. Long story.
28 years later, I was given the opportunity to finish what I started, finished the degree, and graduated.
The day before graduation, I ran 4 more laps of the parade square (circles) as insurance, just in case someone checked.
ElectricMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which one?
NorthStarZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Started in the resort on the Richelieu ; finished up in Kingston.
ElectricMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, very well. I'm at one in Vermont as we speak.
runesky77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oddly, it makes me feel a LOT better that I'm not the only one having this fucked up dream. Been nearly 20 years for me (not including the MA, but the dreams are not about the MA) and it still happens to me on occasion. Usually it's a history class that has several required papers, and I usually find I've forgotten to attend the class and never started the papers. It's such an awful feeling to wake up with. College was not my favorite experience either.
tehvolcanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated 12 years ago. Still get this dream from time to time. It's especially silly since my college used to auto-drop people who didn't show up to the first 2 sessions.
wabernasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TAMU?
gbleroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I take a test, got the best grade possible (30/30) and then discovered that I was not supposed to take that exam because that class was not in my schedule
diggetydebs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here! WTF is up with that?
xhrisman77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the military for 10 years. I have a recurring nightmare where I get called back to finish time.
rilian4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of college for near 20 years and I still have that nightmare...my college experience wasn't really that unpleasant.,
jmonty42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was a cadet at USAFA, left after two years (over 10 years ago now). Have since graduated from another non-military college, gotten married, and have kids. Almost weekly I have a dream that I am somehow back in the dormitories right before classes start for the year. I'm running around trying to figure out all the paperwork I have to go through to get myself out while also wondering if I should just stick around and finish it up this time, even though I already have a degree, and a life. It's the freakin' worst.
Zayl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it's settled. College/University causes PTSD.
ElectricMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heyy, I'm at a military college as I'm writing this!
Which one?
horsespower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to go back to high school a few times in my dreams. And I'm like "ok I guess."
SirBrothers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did a year at West Point and this is quite literally my monthly PTSD dream. Always some weird reason I'm forced to go back and finish out, and all my old classmates are somehow senior classmen despite being over a decade ago.
LobsterThief ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:37:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. At least once a year now.
pWheff ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:41:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, I've been out of school for 6 years and I still wake up in a cold sweat once or twice a year because I dreamed that I had completely forgotten I had a class and wasn't going to be able to graduate because I failed it.
I even had a dream once where it was the present and I got a call from my college saying they were revoking my degree because they notice I had forgotten to show up to a class one semester and had an F nobody had noticed.
Shit is intense.
shark2pus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:43:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So strange, I have the same dream every year it seems. I graduated 20 years ago.
MonsterMike42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother used to have a similar nightmare because she didn't take a class that was needed to graduate. She moved before she took the class at her old high school and didn't take the class after moving because they didn't make her as they assumed she had taken the class at her old school.
I've had similar dreams where I would be forced to take a class that I didn't do well in. After the class was over, I would freak out because I didn't know where my next class was. I would go the office to get some answers and they would tell me to get the hell out because I'm not supposed to be there. In more recent years, I just cut out the middle man and just hop in my car and leave.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:37:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated just over a year ago, and I occasionally have dreams where I sleep through exams in addition to the new ones where I miss my alarm for work
fixer1987 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:48:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still having this dream 7 years later.
It's gotten more complex, now I'm told my degree is invalid due to a missing credit. I'm given the chance to make up this credit by taking a class at my high school but I also have to work my 9-5 office job somehow
MannToots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had this one!! It's far rarer but I've had it 2-3 times now. Suddenly some random HS credit didn't count and my whole degree is in jeopardy unless I go back to HS and do it. Freaking insane.
BlazinAzn38 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:43:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my life. My girlfriend and I attended the same university for our last two years and we were in similar enough majors where we had to take the same physics, math, and elective classes so we always studied together and what not. Now she's in a DPT program and I'm working so every time she talks about studying for her test tomorrow or she's doing homework my heart jumps a little bit.
zonagree ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:41:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never had this nightmare until after I graduated. I didn't know it was common either. It's awful.
cjdeck1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's weird. I've had friends who had this dream constantly through college, but I never once had it.
Now I've been out of school for a year and it happens on a weekly basis. Definitely doesn't help that I had complications with credits for a couple classes during my senior year and all of my dreams seem to base themselves on this.
slippy0101 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:42:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally the worst dream. I'd rather have the "someone trying to kill me" dream than the "forgot a class and it's the end of the semester" dream.
jon_naz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:41:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other people have this dream too?? I guess that's good to know. I also still have it even though I graduated college over a year ago
NoCardio_ ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:45:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Not only do I still have this dream 20 years later, my dad says he does as well.
So get used to it, because it never goes away.
ReklisAbandon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It usually corresponds to when I have deadlines at work coming up, or if I'm just super overwhelmed and worried I'll forget about something I have on my plate.
canexican1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:41:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have been out for over a decade, the nightmares never go away. I wake up from shirt like this at least twice a week.
facedodge ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:47:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, me too. 34 years old and a few times a year I dream that i find my printed class schedule folded up somewhere in my books and there is some stupid English class or something I totally forgot about.
Maninhartsford ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:47:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brain always JUSTIFIES it too. Like, before I even get the chance to go "didn't I graduate?" the dream concocts some situation where I'm getting a second degree...
BBDAngelo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one guy is so traumatized that his experience became collective conscience and now we have this nightmare.
svrtngr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not the only one.
Bradley__ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to my first day of college and everyone I pass is looking at me directly in the eyes like I'm some kind of abomination that they can't believe is standing right there in front of them and somehow I know that I'm late for my first class but I don't know what that first class is or where its at or anything about it beyond the fact that I'm missing it right that very moment. I focus on solutions: I need to find the computer lab and log into my account and look up my schedule and figure out where I'm supposed to be. My anxiety is bad at this point but not out of control since I know that while missing the first day is bad it's nothing that can't be fixed with an e-mail, and plus if I'm sure it won't take me more than an hour to find a computer lab and find my schedule, so it'll only be that one class I miss --- but I can't find the computer lab, I'm asking everyone where is the computer lab but they don't answer, they only stare at my eyes and look scared, which makes me wonder if I'm even speaking English or if I'm only hallucinating that I'm a human and that I'm speaking English but actually I'm some kind of inhuman monster or a retarded person who doesn't know that he's retarded --- the dream last for hours with me trying to run, doing that plodding slow dream-run that drives you crazy because the more you try the slower you seem to go --- the school is enormous and there are people everywhere and I can feel them all looking at me, making eye contact and judging, they all know that I'm missing class, that I'm irresponsible and out of my league, an impostor --- I panic and go into the nearest classroom just on the offchance that it's the right one, but of course it isn't and all eighty people inside turn to stare at me --- I realize that I don't have my bookbag, either, or any supplies, so even if I found the right place I would still be a failure, somehow, always a failure. The dream goes on for hours. The sun starts to set but I am still roaming the campus looking for a terminal to look up my schedule on. My legs feel like I'm treading through knee-deep water and everything is foggy and ethereal. It feels like it will never end and that this is my new life, a disembodied spirit wandering the campus looking for any kind of anchor that will tie me into the schedule of reality. Because what are you on a college campus without a class schedule? You're nothing. You don't belong there. You're an intruder. People are looking at me in the eyes and it hurts.
LezBeeHonest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this will be higher up sooon!
HookersForDahl2017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the burka was to cover your eyes
burkmcbork2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Over a decade later and I will still have this nightmare. Glad to see I'm not alone.
_Pornosonic_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep did my masters in math Econ almost three years ago. Still have terrifyingly real dreams about forgetting I picked a class in biology, which results in me not getting my degree. It usually takes me a few minutes to realize I have a job and I don't live in the US anymore
pipb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated from kindergarten 20 years ago and I still have this dream.
see2keroppi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omigosh I'm not the only one who has this dream?! AMA REQUEST: A psychologist/psychotherapist who can explain why this fear/phenomenon is so universal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Nick Rivers?
Yrianrhod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been teaching at a university for five years, and I also still have this dream!
nearly_almost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I have this dream at least once or twice a year. Sometimes I'll be in college and sometimes in high school. It never ceases to be terrifying.
II-o-II ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I started having this dream about high school a year ago, which was really weird for me. I'd be trying to get to my math class, thinking, "didn't I already do math in university...?"
nearly_almost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:12 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that qualifies as a nightmare! I've had similar dreams about English class. I have a BA in English -_-
stufff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm over a decade out of law school and I still have that dream. Actually just reading about it right now sent a chill up my spine and made me wonder for half a second if there was a class I was supposed to be going to.
Podaroo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught for a while. I would still have the dream, but this time I'd signed up to teach a class, and had forgotten to prepare.
Now that I'm no longer teaching, I have happily reverted back to unprepared-student dreams.
CommodoreBendyStraw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd: http://www.xkcd.com/557/
tylerversion2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have never attended college or university. I have dreams where I forgot that I was enrolled, it's the first day, and can't remember my schedule or even what my first class of the day is.
Waking up in a panic from that recurring dream is fun.
Silverdragon701 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant XKCD
MrsYoungie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my dad was 88 and slipping into dementia, he wanted me to call McMaster (his university) to tell them he wouldn't be in that day. He graduated in 1941.
II-o-II ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious and sad at the same time.
MrsYoungie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:52 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He also kept asking where "Dad" was. He meant his dad. I told him he wasn't there. So what's he doing? Not much, I replied.
MightyEskimoDylan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did this. But I just assumed I had failed.
Spoiler alert: I had.
that_how_it_be ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also finished college years ago and have been working professionally for over a decade. Occasionally I have a dream that I'm in high school to fulfill a requirement I never met and I can't find the right class room. Even in the dream I'm walking around thinking, "This is bullshit I'm a working professional..."
When I have that dream I know that something is adding stress to my life.
Hazzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah good old British University. Where the goal is to get you a job and nobody gives a shit if you can do math, English or science.
reincarN8ed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my dream, I have to go back to finish the course I missed like a bad Adam Sandler movie. So here I am, this grown-ass man with a degree in mechanical engineering, back in my old high school taking an English lit course because of a technicality.
LezBeeHonest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is the closest to how my dream goes too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped getting "late to class, legs with a ton" dreams and also "shit forgot to ever go to this class" dreams about 5-6 years after graduation. Luckily my job isn't very stressful so I never dream about it, but my first job was miserable and I dreamed about it every night.
mortyshaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have this dream, too. It wasn't even a dream all the time...sometimes during the day I'd just panic and wonder if I was attending all my classes. Thanks for reminding me. Now I'm feeling anxious again.
MrBody42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never had this dream in school, only once I entered the workforce. Makes no sense. Additionally, in my version of this dream, I get mad at myself for singing up for a class after I've already graduated and have a job.
GerryC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated almost 10 years ago. Still wake up thinking I forgot to take a course and didn't really graduate after all....
leiphos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have that same nightmare sometimes and I graduated 5 years ago. Now that I'm a teacher, I have a variation where I miss a class as the teacher, not the student. Will it never end?!?
parkervoice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Regularly have this dream, and I teach at a university.
Lloopy_Llammas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. 5 years out. Had this dream last week. Dad says he still has these dreams as well. It doesn't look good going forward for us.
mjxa1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even human. I still have this dream.
screennameoutoforder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach in university. I still wake up at night, agonizing over a physics assignment that I did not submit in time.
_Larry_Love_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 65 yr old father and I also have this dream. Would just add it involves us wondering around the halls look for the class.
Willbl3pic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
relevant xkcd
deliciouscorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a common phenomenon!
http://youtu.be/0g7VoRQPswg
brucetwarzen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the last three years of my school career, i didn't attend sports. not because i was bad, quite the opposite, but if i ditched sport, i could sleep 2h longer on every monday. i ended up getting a 6 in sports. 6 is the best score. on this school, the sport teacher didn't really communicate with the rest of the school, it wasn't even in the same place. the way this worked was pretty simple, on the first day of school, the gym teacher read down every name on the list, an i wasn't on it. this is not the first time, this happened almost every year of my whole school career for whatever reason. but there was a Hannibal on the list, and we didn't have a Hannibal in class. so i was Hannibal. first thing he said was that Hannibal is a name for a horse. i pretended to be mad and just left. never went back. somehow every year at the end of the year he realised that he somewhere fucked up and just gave the guy he never saw a 6.
kingpuco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. There have been times where I've woken up with cold sweats because I've just dreamt that I woke up late for a final exam I've forgotten about.
liquwicked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So cool to see I'm not the only one. Such an odd thing to nightmare. Like how did I just not ever show up or do any work in this class? Wake up all sweaty and realize wtf I aced college years ago. Not even sorta on my mind yet suddenly have this dream. It never happened during college, yet 3 times after I was done.
pumpkinrum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here.
Mosann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10 years now out of school. Still have this nightmare. Terrifying.
BootyTracer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had this dream every night this week ๐ญ๐ญ thank god im not alone
Mikeywestside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is 60, he says he still has this dream too. Nice to know we'll always have some measure of consistency in our lives...
Bunbury42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just finished my masters. I had this dream a week ago.
TheeDeadpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you actually /u/JGumballs?
JGumballs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first time I've been tagged. It was driving me nuts why the message icon wouldn't go away! I was clicking every damn comment there was.
faerie87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have these dreams once a week when I was in college. Then it gradually lessened. I graduated 8 years ago and the last time I had these dreams were probably a year ago. Hang in there!
ResistingToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm starting to think it never goes away. I graduated 7 years ago, still happens regularly.
MadLuv4Jolteon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally just had this dream.
Haramburglar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Currently in school and I'm wondering how you guys did this. Did your classmates never ask why you didn't attend that class?
SnatchAddict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
18 years ago, still have the dream
Bearence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated 26 years ago and I still have it. The three constants in life: death, taxes and The Dream.
jmremote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I keep having dreams my college made a mistake and I didnt really earn a degree. I graduated 15 years ago.
QuinineGlow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me, too. Last one was just a couple months ago. Usually it's a math or physics class that's involved, but for some reason my last one involved ancient Egyptian poetry.
If nothing else my brain is expanding its horizons on ways to make me wake up in a cold sweat...
Het_Steen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of college for almost 75 years and I still have this dream... Sick shit.
domromer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd https://xkcd.com/557/
PeppyLongTimeNoSee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9 years have passed and I still have it. It's like we are all connected in a stupid, useless way
rfishergr3390 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dropped out of university years ago. Still have this dream.
Danielmich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated college almost 10 years ago, and a few months back I dreamt that I forgot to attend a class in Highschool and I had to go back.
xanatos451 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't been in school for over 20 years and I still have that dream.
witzerdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It NEVER goes away.
My second dream like this is from when I was waiting tables... I have a recurring dream that I keep getting new tables that I can't get to and it gets worse and worse.
dpalmade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 years out. pretty sure i had this dream last week.
comatthew6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit there are dozens of us!
crizzzles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone does. It's crazy what sticks with you
diljag98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't even started university yet and I already have this dream.
labox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dropped out 5 years ago. Same dream
bu_J ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach at a university and still have this dream.
Ottomatica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated in '99. Still have this dream.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I finally stopped having this dream, but it persisted for years. Waking up that stressed out was basically a nonviolent nightmare.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, I get one every couple months when things get stressful at work. I never have dreams about forgetting stuff at work, or forgetting about work, it's always back in college.
idosillythings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too am a college grad that's had this dream, but for me, I'm always in high school for some reason.
sillyjew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 34 and I have this dream a lot. And I can never remember the combination for my locker. And I'm usually walking around the school in my underwear...
Moruitelda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped having those dreams after about 3 years of graduation. But man, that's a shitty feeling. I'm a lawyer, and when I would have those dreams, I'd dream that I was thus ineligible to sit for the Bar, and my license was revoked, and I had to tell my boss, who fired me.
oddark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://xkcd.com/557/
gingerly_said ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, I had dreams I had to go back to elementary to finish classes I never took. In college, it was high school. Now that I'm done, I finally have the nightmares that I have to go back to college. Fuck. It's too real.
n0remack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I haven't had this dream in a long time (but I did have it). I used to have...well, I guess I would classify it as a nightmare - that I was extremely late for a presentation or an important class that it would actually kick me out of sleep and I'd wake up in a sweat and short of breath (as I was running in my sleep).
I've even woke up saying "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" to which my girlfriend at the time was super worried about me.
The psychological toll school has on you
bananasta32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every now and again I'll wake up thinking "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit HOW DID I FORGET THIS CLASS??? Oh wait, I graduated from college in 2010, there's my diploma."
NoSurprises41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated college 5 years ago. I still have this dream a couple times a year. Odd thing is that I was a pretty good college student, never had any issues with missed assignments or worried about missing assignments. Weird that anxiety still pops this dream up for me.
JGumballs ยท 906 points ยท Posted at 15:32:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of school for 10 years and I still get this dream.
silenttd ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:43:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I start freaking out over whether or not we're past the add/drop date. Waking up and realizing I graduated 10 years ago is the most relieving feeling
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:23:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my version of this dream, it's actually part of the dream where I realize I graduated years ago. That causes me to start to panic because my degree must be invalid since I forgot this class, and now I'm about to fail a final exam I forgot to study for. My degree won't happen, I'll lose the job, everything will fall apart.
Ph0X ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a dream a lot of other people have? I have two recurring nightmares that I get fairly often.
One is very similar to these. Generally I'm late for class and don't have my schedule and don't know which class I need to go to. Or I need to go back and finish a class I missed in high school/college. Or some variation of not knowing where to go and being lost.
The other has to do with driving cars and the breaks not properly working. The car slows down but never FULLY stops. It comes all the way down to walking speed but no matter how hard I press on the breaks it never goes below that. As if I was on ice or something. And I generally tend to pass red lights or hit things and get really stressed about getting caught.
DaTrueBeowulf ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a little bit far, friend. I think you should consult a therapist in your area immediately.
btzgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea this is a common dream. I graduated 7 years ago and get it at least twice a year ever since.
i_want_that_boat ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:07:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been dead for 50 years. I still have this dream.
Dasguudmane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What boat did you want so badly that you've come back from the dead for?
i_want_that_boat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The model boat from Napoleon Dynamite when uncle Rico is offering incentive for buying tupperware. Came with a model boat.
Dasguudmane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, right. Nice reference.
maszpiwo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:33:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost 4 years out, same thing. The class I forget is always, without fail, an English class of some sort. Guess it makes sense since I was an engineer.
threecolorless ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:42:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's really interesting, I was a Theatre major and for me it's almost always a science or math class.
BOOBOOMOOMOO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is math, too. I'm good at math, but in the dream, there are a ton of formulas I've never learned.
WoodsWanderer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:51:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated uni 11 years ago, and I have not had that dream in about a year....it is possible you are in the clear.
I will let you know if further data changes the forecast.
cantstandit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got bad news for you. I stopped having this dream after about 10 years out. Now more than 30 years out and have had the dream a few times again.
Princess_Poppy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:59:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6 years for me. I'll probably be 80 years old and still dreaming that I forgot to go to math class all year.
afihavok ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:42:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I'll wake up in a cold sweat, absolutely convinced.
Chazwozel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:48:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I usually self realize during the process of waking up that my last final was over 10 years ago.
Trollastico ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:22:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been dead for 20 years and sometimes I toss around in my grave thinking about it.
I_Am_Not_Me_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:23:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never went to college and get this dream
bajaja ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:25:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell you this dream will be with you for at least ten more years.
src: graduated in '98, dreamed in '17
LD50-Cent ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, every time I have this dream I wake up with my pulse racing
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:42:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The trifecta is this, teeth falling out, and breaking your phone.
bobnobjob ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:48:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out 15 and still get it too
Nabber86 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:26:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It never ends. I graduated college is 1986 and still have this dream only with a new twist that my employers want all the money back that they paid me because I really didn't have a degree.
dirty-bot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. This recurring dream stopped somehow maybe a few years back. Hopefully, this discussion won't trigger some subconscious shit tonite..
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
18 years since high school and same thing with shudder math class.
Dre6485 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had this dream last night. Graduated 8 years ago.
zepla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:36:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up from this dream about 5 minutes ago. The class i needed to retake was waffle-making.
corsa180 ยท 650 points ยท Posted at 15:35:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of college for almost 25 years and still have this dream. Crazy.
RyGuy_42 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 15:38:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 years here. It's like University/College ptsd or something.
lilbro1984 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:45:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8 years and I'm thinking of going back! Double the ptsd!
zangor ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:16:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody ever get the 'back in highschool' dream? I always panic because I don't know my locker combination.
imhappyforyou123 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:17:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yup. except i'm my current age and i keep having to repeat because i forgot a class. i'll be like "i'm 21 and i can't freaking pass high school!"
BOOBOOMOOMOO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Locker combo and location.
JGrizz0011 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:00:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am 53. There is a part of me convinced I missed most of linear algebra 30 years ago.
Nabber86 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:28:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha; just turned 54. My dream gets more complicated than that. I have a college degree and a professional career that requires the degree (engineering). In my dream I never actually graduated from high school so my college degree and professional licenses are invalid. I dream that I am always trying to sneak back into high school to get my diploma, before somebody at work finds out. So there I am in my dream as a full grown man sitting in high school classes. Also I work full time, so I have to call in sick to go to high school and I can only attend 1 or 2 classes a month. Because I miss so many classes I am always failing high school and have to keep enrolling in hope that some day I will get my diploma before anyone finds out. It is insidious and has been going on for decades.
duhhuh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is that it's sometime in the first week of the semester and I'm trying to figure out what classes I'm taking and where they are, because I've somehow lost my schedule. I feel time slipping away and worrying about how I'm going to get it figured out before it's too late. Wondering if I have time to make it to the registrar's office to get a copy, then buy my books, etc.
Nabber86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah. In my dreams I finally make it to school, but cant remember what my class schedule is, where my locker is, and where the office is. By time I find the office, have them print out a copy of my schedule, find my locker and remember the combination, and show up at class the teacher is like, "Good try Nabber, but class was over 40 minutes ago and you missed another exam.".
Ribzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is horrifying. I hope you get relief from this nightmare. Seriously. Yours is the worst one I read. I feel like crying. OMG.
Keebookeeb ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:27:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been to school, and I get this dream.
zangor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:16:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a chinchilla and I still get this dream.
randy_in_accounting ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:23:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I died ten years ago and own a college and I have this dream!
DarwinianMonkey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:17:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here! What is this? Why do we all have this dream? I was never even someone who worried about missing classes. My dream is usually something along the lines of realizing that I have an exam for a class I forgot about. Like I suddenly remember that I have a 2pm Math exam and I've never even been to class since they handed out the syllabus. I frantically run around campus trying to get to this class and I don't even remember exactly where it is.
Fabgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glitch in the Matrix
zoomdaddy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a relief. I was wondering how crazy I was for all dreaming this 15 years after college.
jbutens ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never went to college and I still have this dream
Berly2300 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, 26yrs and I still have that dream and one where I never completed an assignment and wake up stressed until I realize my dumbass graduated 26yrs ago.
greenebean78 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently there are a lot of us
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha My crazy school dream is I find myself back in high school because I failed a course and they some how missed it, so I have to repeat the course for my degrees to count. It's like Groundhog's Day in the dream because I'll "pass" the class but then I'm told I failed it yet again and must repeat it. This will happen 3 or 4 times before I wake up in a cold sweat on the verge of tears.
Twin2Win ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you present you or 25 years ago you?
campy86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I have been out of college so long and have had this dream so often, that I can't quite tell if maybe it actually happened to me.
reddit_orangeit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also have had this dream, although only once in my life, as I recall. I wonder what it says about us? I think it is a manifestation of our anxieties, that when not addressed head on, find a way to come through our dreams. My dream was set in a huge (like giant stadium) type of lecture hall. I found myself sitting down to take the final, only to realize that I never went to class and didn't know any of the material. Perhaps it's a metaphor for our inability to know anything for certain. I believe it was Socrates who said, "All I know is that I know nothing."
ChristianGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
33 years here. Hate this dream.
ZaydSophos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. This dream never stops? School is basically PTSD, huh?
Carolenej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
35 years and I still have it
homeworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At this point we should take a poll of who hasn't had this dream.
bom_chika_wah_wah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been accepted to college and I have this dream.
honking_goose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
20 years here. Just had a dream like that last night, in fact.
bestjakeisbest ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:35:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
apparently these dreams dont go away, so you will wake up in the middle of the night when you are 60 turn to your wife and say oh "shit i overslept for the final" and your wife will tell you to go back to fucking bed, have fun with that.
conquer69 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:50:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if that classifies as a form of PTSD. I still have dreams of me being late to school, a test that I forgot to study for, homework I forgot to do, leaving an entire project home and everyone hating me and more. I'm 27.
ayryyn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They really don't. I've been out over 10 years and I will still get panic attacks about papers that are due that I've dreamed about. Nothing wakes you up faster.
Nabber86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or at 65 you turn over to your wife and say ,"Shit I overslept and I am going to be late for my 7 am staff meeting." Wife says, "You got pushed out of your job for being so old and we are on welfare now you moron, go back to sleep!".
anschelsc ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:35:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not the only one
Nabber86 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:34:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just when I thought I had seen them all.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:38:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of school 1000 years and I still have this dream.
Ungodlydemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, yo. You won the genetic lottery surviving all of those plagues.
pixlgeek ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:37:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a thing: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/radical-teaching/200909/recurring-final-exam-dream
MisoMoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for posting this! I have this recurring dream too, 25 years after college, often the "also naked" variation which is even more terrifying.
Keoni9 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:41:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this such a common dream, omg
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dream analysis says it's because we feel we've missed out on an important life lesson.
commander_nice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brain implants. They're supposed to get you to go to class, but the implant is still there after graduation, so you always have the dream.
didthebhawkswin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:36:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never went to college and I still have this dream.
ljamming445 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, I though it was just me that had this dream. Im always so frantic when I wake up too because for a couple seconds I think its real.
Ellistan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I had that same dream last semester. It was like "oh god I forgot about an entire class?!?"
One of those dreams where you wake up and have to confirm it wasn't real.
chefranden ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:39:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 67. I still have that dream.
natdanger ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still have dreams where it's the first day of high school and there's one class I just skip. Then I skip it every day and get into shenanigans during that block. The dream goes through the entire year, and the last day I end up going to class.
Fifi_the_bookseller ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:39:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am 45, graduated college in 1993. I still have nightmares of this anytime something really stressful happens in my life, with work, etc.
alanstanwyk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated in 93 also. Have the same dream about once every few months. It's oddly refreshing to read all these comments.
Wonder what it means? For me, college (engineering) was very stressful. But I've never tracked it to stressful things going on in my life.. interesting.
Fifi_the_bookseller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's surprising to me that so many people have the same dream. I wonder if people who didn't go to college have the same dream, or what their equivalent is?
jishguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy, I always had the exact same dream.
I enrolled in a class and somehow forgot about it. Now I'm going to fail. At least 20 times during college.
fatpeasant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:41:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually had this happen, a course I was wait listed for enrolled me after a few weeks into the semester, but never updated onto my blackboard portal. I only found out once my exam schedule came out and had a course I didn't recognize on it.
I did manage to get it removed in the end, but man that was a little stressful.
squirrelgirrl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too!! My dad has these dreams as well.
immaterialist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:47:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems there's a shitload of us with this exact same dream. Mine is always a math class that I forget. Sometimes the dream goes on long enough to get into the panic-inducing, pants-shittingly awful part when my employer finds out that I missed this class and I lose my job, insurance, house, family, etc. Fuck math.
KingSneakyMole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why this dream was so common. Nearing the end of a semester, I would dream that there was a class I was enrolled in without my knowledge, and had never attended.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. I had this dream last night. This is too freaky
Red_Iine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same dream. Are you me?
ukl180 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes omg i have this nightmare atleast once a year and ive been out of college for a long time now, super scary
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had that dream so many times. Never happened in college but definitely some pint up/left over college anxiety. Another nightmare I still have is missing a final exam by being confused by the time because finals were longer class sessions and they were scheduled at odd/non class times at my school.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than 10 years. I don't care to say more than that...
LGbottle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not the only one. This will never go away.
hansologruber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still think about it almost 20 years later.
Soggytoast111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to me my freshman year (but it wasn't my fault).
Someone fat fingered the wrong class onto my registration that I didn't know about (as freshman, registration was done for you after you submitted your info by mail.) It was some graduate level agricultural lab course that I had zero prerequisites for so I couldn't have even attended anyway.
Got my grade report back and it had a big fat F next to that class. Luckily the dean was able to quickly remove it from my record.
Eramy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been six years since I've graduated from my university yet every few months I have a dream that my high school admin calls me up and tells me that I'm missing a class. Both my high school and university degrees are void until I complete the class amongst a new generation of teens and I have to complete it while still working full time on probation since I no longer have appropriate credentials.
Stress dreams are brutal and will manifest in creatively cruel ways...
ncfears ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing. There's always a nagging thought that I just didn't go to one class every semester. Terrifying. It usually ends up with me checking my schedule.
Grintor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://xkcd.com/557/
no_gold_here ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday my biology professor told me that I, in fact, should have attended an anatomy class throughout the semester. On Monday I will have an exam in both. Well, I would have failed biology anyway.
Etheno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:07:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this weird ass dream where I'm a university student but I'm also taking high school courses, so I'll only go to uni lectures then I'll show up to my old highschool and wing the final exam relying on past knowledge. I'm fucking weird.
jxl180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same dream but with loans now. I have nightmares that there is a bank out there with which I have a loan out, that I've completely forgotten about.
_Larry_Love_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If this is the new recurring dream for younger students, that's horribly depressing.
DakotaXIV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same! Been out of college for over a decade and still wake up to this one
DaCanuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enjoy having that dream for years after you graduate. It's been over a decade and a half, and I still have it.
MyShoeGameStupid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck! I have the same dream!
Sweetness27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a philosophy class where a kid sat down for the final and the teacher asked him if you was in the right place since he's never seen him before.
10 people in the class and he knew everyone else by name. Never saw the kid again.
Goluxas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once a semester in the last week of two, I'd realize I hadn't gone to a couple classes since the first week. I still attempted the finals cuz maybe I could guess it and maybe it was a class that bases your grade on final score and I could still pass.
Spoiler: I dropped out after 10 semesters of this.
WajinaSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right now I have this fear for one class, we show up first day, teacher says that we dont show up until we get the physical component which is 2 4 hour classes, and we get an online portion the week before. Its so unnerving being one of the last people to start it since I dont know if I am gonba forget.
JWEess123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had that dream this week. I also had to move out of my college apartment without a moving truck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 30s and get that still.
uspsthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this dream too, the best part is the feeling of relief when you wake up.
uvcr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to a good friend of mine. She thought she had withdrawn from a class after the first couple sessions, but I guess she did it wrong online or something, because she ended up with an F at the end of the semester, not having completed any assignments for a class se thought she wasn't taking.
I believe it worked out, but it took a lengthy appeal, and she was a huge ball of stress for a while about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You really enjoyed saying that didn't you?
couturenallure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have had this dream so many times (and still have it). And I'm years out of high school and college.
SmokinDynamite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It nearly happened to me once. I arrive in class and see everyone with a printed pile of paper, talking about it. I was a bit confused until I realized there was a paper due for this date. Oh well, I still managed to pass in the end, but that was a stressful semester since I couldn't afford bad grade in order to just pass the course let alone get a decent grade.
dd_de_b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me a lot my last semester in college. I'd wake up in the middle of the night thinking I'd completely forgotten to attend a class the whole semester
Warro726 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school automatically drops you from a class if you miss the first class. I guess its a good thing so something like this wont happen. What will happen though is your proffesor ot marking you there and you getting dropped. Now you have to fight with the school to get put back in, its a ton of fun trust me.
virgnar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had this actually happen once in high school. I was doing pretty well in all my classes except History. For some reason, I was always, always, always forgetting about that class. It was a complete blind spot in my memory.
At the end, I had a 4% grade in it because I failed to turn anything in, study for any quizzes/tests, etc. The teacher was willing to catch me a break for final exam if I met a certain grade on it but I couldn't even meet that.
That class still haunts me on occasion, and has made me paranoid on turning stuff in every class afterwards, even after I've been to college.
RawbM07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this dream too...Also I was a swimmer and I have a dream where I find out state finals is that day and I haven't trained. Same type of thing.
Mshake6192 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of school for 11 years and I still get this dream.
iTedRo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this same dream all the time. Sometimes I rush to it and it's in my old high school...?
Anyway have a nice day :3
hilld1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school had a system to prevent that. If you didnt show up to 3 or more classes by mid-term, you would automatically be withdrawn.
stufoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. Mine is I have to go back to middle school math. I can never find the classroom or even the office to show them my diploma that no, I've already done this, please don't make me do it again.
millos15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is always a calculus course.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did this. It sucked.
PM_ME_UR_SEX_VIDEOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have two dreams that are similar to this
One is me waking up at like...10am and then remembering I had an exam at 9am
Another dream is showing up to class and then the professor is handing out everyone's graded exams
an exam I didn't take
PapaShongo53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this, you get an Incomplete and the class doesn't count.
soproductive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are awful.. Used to get those and it'd freak me the fuck out!
ForestParkRapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I STILL have those dreams, and I'm 40.
weste0023 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to my mom. Not the dream, actually had a class she forgot about. She took the final and somehow passed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An up-to-date calendar would likely help.
ptyblog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I messed up the dates for a final exam and came in a day latter or something like that. Had to take the class again.
AweHellYo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This shit actually happened to me, but on a small scale.
I had signed up for a one-credit hour course where you get a little credit for writing for the school paper while being advised by the professor who runs it. I forgot and never went to any meetings since it's not on your schedule. I realized it two weeks from end of term. It's not that one hour worth of an F would tank my GPA too hard but obviously I don't want anything that low on it at all.
I call the professor to plead my case and he says:
"The point of the course is to get credit for writing for the paper. You didn't so I'm not giving you credit."
I go into full pleasing and basically offer that if he will give me a passing mark, I'll be there for the last 3 years of my college career. He actually agreed to give me a C and took my word. I went and a year later was the columnist and was eventually named Best Writer (actual end of year award) for the paper by the same teacher. So it worked out but man was I sweating at the start.
MyFirstOtherAccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And you're about to sit down for the final!
unevolved_panda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did this. Signed up for a 6 week seminar and forgot so completely that, 10 years later when I went back to school, the admissions counselor asked what had happened (like, "you mostly seem like a really good student, what happened in this class?") I still didn't remember being enrolled. Luckily it was a 1 credit seminar so it didn't fuck up my GPA that much.
overhearyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same dream but I'm still in High School. I graduated college in 2004. Weird.
k2t-17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is that I'm 2 classes short that I didn't know about. About once a month and I'm 6 years out of College.
Araama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband claims he signed up for a weightlifting class. Just as an easy A, type of thing. He forgot he had it. Never went to a class. Looked at his grades after finals, he had a B.
SotaCane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. I graduated in 2015 and I still have this dream regularly. It's super fucked.
FullTorsoApparition ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checking in as another forgotten class nightmare person. I've been out of classes for 5 years and I still get this anxiety dream at times.
Xulbehemoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same!
SomethingAnalyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of uni for 3-4 years, and I've had the same recurring dream since my junior year. I keep thinking I just skipped the same class for the same semester, and that my degree is illegitimate.
Rhinosaur24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated from college in 2002. I still have that same dream about 1x a month. It never goes away.
mdante679 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I finished my masters a year ago and still have an anxiety problem on Sundays, feeling like I have work that needs done because all work was due by Sunday evening midnight.
Neologizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have this dream on a nightly basis during my last semester of undergrad. Shit is terrifying
melaniaaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the exact same dream, but I'm a teacher so I also have an alternate dream where it's the first day of school and I haven't prepared anything.
Jushak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psff, I randomly had nightmares where I "realized" I had somehow managed to miss some mandatory course for well over an year after graduating from university.
Valarasha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this dream too! D:
SirPurplePotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd www.xkcd.com/557
MannToots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated years ago and I occasionally get this dream. It's awful.
BeerManBran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never even been to university and I have this dream.
One_Winged_Rook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been out of school for years. Still have this dream
humma__kavula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did that one year. Really screwed my GPA. And worst of all it was some bs PE class that all I had to do was show up and get an A
jordanlund ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher, I used to dream about being asked to teach subjects that I knew nothing about with no notice or prep time.
Oh... no, wait, that actually happened. ALL THE TIME.
CudgalTroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been to college and I have that dream.
irlgarbodor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this dream all the time!!
IDontWantToArgueOK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a class that weighted the final over everything else, so I was planning on just showing up on test day and acing it (because I already knew the subject matter inside and out).
Show up on test day and they had moved the class and I didn't know where.
jabreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been having this dream too much. It feels so real which is the terrifying part for me.
elljawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had this dream probably twice a year since freshman year. I've been out of college for 3 years
chanofrom114th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i do the same thing!
anras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa I have a similar dream too even though I graduated from college long ago. The dream is that somehow I procrastinate or miss the class, first it's just once then it happens again and again and I lose track of how many classes I've missed. Next thing I know I've failed.
[deleted] ยท 1230 points ยท Posted at 15:54:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have a friend who is a professor. He told me about a student that was failing pretty hard. Near the end of the term, the student pleaded for extra credit to bring his grade up. My friend, being an understanding guy, eventually relented, saying "if you do x, I'll give you a passing grade." My friend never heard from the student again until the grades came out for that term, and naturally, the student failed because he didn't do the extra credit work. The student was pissed and actually tried issuing a complaint with the dean about my friend. He hasn't offered extra credit since.
Edit: I misremembered. It wasn't extra credit; he offered the student the opportunity to turn in some assignments the student had never completed. I'm a liar. I'm sorry, reddit.
frogjg2003 ยท 271 points ยท Posted at 17:15:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College and gym are the only places where people don't care about not taking advantage of services they paid for. But only in college will they celebrate.
RedsDead21 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:07:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is true enough that it kind of worries me, because I'm just as guilty of it.
"I hope we don't have class today," makes zero sense when you stop to think. You might as well be saying "I hope we don't have one of the sessions that is part of the thousands of dollars I'm paying."
Imagine that applied elsewhere.
"I hope my new car doesn't work today."
"I hope I don't get my food order today."
rcl2 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then they'll hop on reddit and complain about why they can't get a job.
TheVeryMask ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:29:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You still call somone that graduated medical school barely passing at the bottom of the class "doctor". Employment rates track with graduation, but not with time spent in school or information retention. If school were actually about learning, you'd see a smoother curve in the graph of employment or earnings vs time spent in school instead of the plateaus and huge jumps you actually see.
The reasoning behind your generalization is wrong, that is.
Pjcrafty ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true. Someone skating by at the bottom of their class may not match into a residency position and may, in fact, not be able to become doctors. And if they do match, it won't be anywhere desirable or in a desirable specialty.
You still have to work hard, sorry.
TheVeryMask ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:07:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You say that like a counterpoint. Do you really think how hard you work predicts success? If so, that means the richest people work the hardest, the demographics with the best employment rates work the hardest, and unemployment is a direct result of not working hard enough.
Pjcrafty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How hard you work as compared to your demographic predicts success compared to other members of that demographic, yes. Some people have to work less hard to get to a high place, or may have more help along the way. But someone in the same demographic who works harder will have more success than someone in that same demographic with the same advantages who doesn't.
So a rich person may have a leg up in getting into a prestigious college or grad school, since they'll be able to afford more quality SAT prep and will likely not have to work a job in high school or college to stay afloat. But if someone just as rich has a higher GPA than them and has more marketable skills due to self improvement, obviously that second person will be more desirable when hiring for prestigious and well-paying positions.
CheshireCat78 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:51:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bs. you just have to put in once you get in the workforce and carve a name out where it actually counts. yes the person that comes first is going to get a better gig straight out of uni but then you are all back to bottom rung on the corporate ladder.
i graduated close to last in my class...the only one to have not lined up a job straight after and now am more successful and earn more than nearly all of them. im good at my job but university was just a nice place to grow up for a bit longer and have fun.
i certainly didnt take lecturers reading from the notes for an hour, assignments that took days and were worth 1/2 a percent of your final mark or in some instances lecturers who didnt even know the topic and were teaching us about legislation that was repealed two pieces of legislation ago seriously.
I_am_N0t_that_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live we call them medics. Doctor is for Phd's, including phd in medicine.
camlop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many university students are paying just for the degree. They don't care about the education itself.
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Insurance too
frogjg2003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Insurance is different. You're still using it when you're not collecting benefits. It's a safety net in case something bad happens.
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean when things do go badly. Some people won't use it because their premiums will go up. Get in a little fender bender and some will just drive it like that for years.
TheWizard01 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 18:00:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I don't have a late work policy anymore. Most people who missed the primary deadline, never wound up handing it in anyway. And if they did, they would get shitty because I told them that late papers got pushed to the bottom of my priority list and I took a few weeks (month, whatever) to get to them.
djn808 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:26:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've finished assignments at 2 Am that had a 6 AM upload deadline. I attached the assignment but forgot to hit Submit before passing out (After being in the computer lab from Thursday afternoon to Monday at 2 AM trying to finish it).
Thankfully, our TAs were understanding.
grubas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TAS have to put up with a lot of shit. When I was a TAS the grades had to be submitted to the professor within like a week. I can't wait until I get to be a bitter old professor.
Also a lot of TAS are grad students, they have a tough life.
Korashy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:32:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a college professor who let us make up tests every time we had a new test. Took all 6 tests (including the final) in one sitting at the end of the semester.
Was pretty crazy though, there was a line twice around the building of people waiting to take/retake tests/final. I just walked to the very front, waited a minute for the doors to open and walked in. I was not gonna fail that class!
actuallycallie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:21 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ones who don't turn their work in on time and then whine on the course evaluations that you don't grade and return their work in a timely manner are just the best.
actuallycallie ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 17:40:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
at my current university there is a university-wide policy that you may NOT offer extra credit unless everyone in the class has the same opportunity to do the extra credit. So if one kid is failing, you can't offer them extra credit unless the whole class is offered a chance to do it too.
hallipeno ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:49:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish this was policy at more schools. It's hard to explain how offering extra credit to only one student is unfair to the others who could also benefit.
actuallycallie ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:09:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. It's basically saying "You didn't do this thing/these things that everyone else did, but I'm going to give you a different assignment that is probably easier, and you have the chance to get the same grade they got for less work." Not to mention it makes more work for the professor. I tell my studnets that I don't give extra credit, because I based these assignments on what they need to learn AND what I have time to grade thoughtfully (giving them feedback) and I'm not going to add more assignments and make more work for me.
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 19:29:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The extra credit doesn't bring them to the same grade, it brings them to a passing grade. It's pretty much a second chance. That being said your job as a teacher is to teach. That means you need to find out how the students learn and grade them based on what's easier for them, not for you. If a student dies not learn based on your metric, then you have failed them. You should give them the chance to show you that they learned, instead of denying then because they didn't learn your way.
actuallycallie ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:15:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, no. I am in a professional program. My job is to get students to the standards set by the accrediting bodies from which they will get the license they need to legally perform their job. All of my assignments are designed with that goal in mind. When I say I base these assignments on what I have time to grade thoughtfully, I mean the TIME I am giving them--in other words, I am not giving busy work or useless work just to be giving a grade, or giving an assignment that is due when I am not going to have time to grade it. I am also not making up some bullshit busy work at the end of the semester because you were too lazy to do the work set out for you at the beginning, work that was designed to help you learn what you need to learn. THAT'S WHY I ASSIGNED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. If you do it and don't do well I am happy to help you, but do not think you can simply not do the assignment and then ask for a different one (I'm not giving you a different one because it's against university policy anyway).
natha105 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:59:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, how much of your grade should be based on your ability to get things done on time, and how much should be based on what you learned (regardless of any other consideration). If someone did an extra credit project that really demonstrated that they had learned the material backwards and forwards it would be nice to give them the opportunity to pass the class.
flyMeToCruithne ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:07:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if another student attended class and understands the material, shouldn't they have the chance to do the same extra credit to (for instance) raise their grade from a B+ to an A-? Why should the only person who gets a massive bonus opportunity be the biggest slacker?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that they are the biggest slacker, it might be their learning style. They might learn in a way that the school cannot accommodate for, such as at home learning at their own pace. The student that attended the class and got a good grade was able to learn in a way that the school could accommodate for. It would be unfair for the student who the school couldn't accommodate for be denied the grade due to the nature of their learning. They already suffer through not attaining a grade that their peers could attain simply because of their preferred style of learning.
Tl:dr, they aren't all slackers and most of the time the teachers that give a chance for extra credit have already identified the student as being successful if given the chance.
actuallycallie ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:18:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look, in college, you get stuff done by the end of the semester or you don't get it done. We don't have unlimited amounts of time and energy to just do stuff whenever students get around to getting it in. We have deadlines we have to report on.
flyMeToCruithne ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:19:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That still doesn't explain why all the kids in the class shouldn't get an equal chance to do equal extra credit. Maybe the kid with a B+ also doesn't learn well in lecture, but they worked their ass off all semester to manage their school work within their personal strengths and weaknesses to pull off that B+. But the prof doesn't know that because that kid isn't coming to them in desperation in the last week of the semester begging for a way out of a failing grade.
At the college level, if you're failing in the last week of the semester, unless you had some real extenuating circumstances (like extended illness or death of an immediate family member or things like that), you either shouldn't have been in that class in the first place (because you lack the appropriate background courses or you're just not smart enough) or you were irresponsible and didn't keep on top of the work. There's no excuse to go whining to the prof right at the bitter end and profs who cave to that type of student are hurting the students who were responsible and kept on top of things throughout the semester. If your learning style doesn't work well with a particular course's structure, it's on you to figure that shit out at the beginning of the semester and work harder to make up for it or discuss your options with the professor at the beginning of the semester (or choose not to take that class if it's not required).
actuallycallie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:19:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A job skill you need for pretty much any career I can think of.
natha105 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:38:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely, but is that what school is for? For some yes, but not for everyone.
actuallycallie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:56:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
for my particular degree program (music education) it is most definitely to prepare for a specific career. I stress the kinds of knowledge, skills, and dispositions they need to get and keep a teaching job and to be good at it. Also, most other jobs that require a college degree do so less for the specific field of study and more because having a college degree implies that you can meet certain goals and deadlines.
actuallycallie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:59:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also, look. You have a syllabus at the beginning of the semester. It tells you the policies for that class. If you don't like those policies, don't take the class. If it says up front "turn assignments in on time or there is a penalty," then do it or don't take the class. Don't just not do the work and expect the professor to bend to your every whim. Take a different class or go to a different school.
hallipeno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:12:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what if you were another student in the class who might have wanted that opportunity but didn't get it because it wasn't offered to everyone?
Thomjones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:03:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well there's a difference between not getting it in on time and not doing it period or doing it all last minute. I've had professors nice enough to give me SOME credit for doing every single assignment late.
almightySapling ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:11:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How on earth is this hard to explain? Anybody with a basic faculty of the English language should understand it just by reading what I quoted.
hallipeno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to my inbox at the end of every semester. I always get a few per class saying that it can't hurt to ask because they desperately need X grade for something or other.
actuallycallie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:39 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My response to "but I need an A to keep my scholarship/stay on the sportsball team!!" is "why the hell weren't you concerned about this the first few weeks of class when you didn't show up, completed no assignments, and participated in no class activities?" I was a scholarship student too, and this was before the days of Blackboard/Canvas when you had a running total of your grade at all times. I determined what I needed to do to get the grade I needed, then fucking did it, and asked for help if I had trouble.
hallipeno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:43 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Preaching to the choir here.
ACoderGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they refer to how students might dislike that teacher relative to one's who don't have that policy? If the policy is university wide, then you have a better excuse for it.
MontazumasRevenge ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:35:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds about right for several schools I attended.
Sneezegoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:54:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is reasonable but extra credit shouldn't really be a thing. It should be down to re doing assignments or tests that they did poorly on. If they get a better mark it means they learnt and if not either the teacher or the student needs to work on themselfs.
actuallycallie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I agree. I don't offer extra credit. I will give a student an opportunity to re-do an assignment, if their poor grade was due to not understanding and not just not putting in the effort. And I'll give extensions if a student has made the effort to start and just needs more time to do a good job.
LateralThinkerer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the flip side of the "Well, it's not on the syllabus so I don't have to do it" argument.
"I'm sorry, but the grading policy is spelled out at the beginning of the semester and there's no provision for extra credit".
That said, if there's a legit problem (someone's in a car wreck or family member dies or something) I'll go out of my way to help them, but not just "is there something I can do..."
actuallycallie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I include a statement on my syllabus, and say it the first day of class, that if you just don't come to class I'm not going to help you, but if something happens and you get hit by a bus or get Peruvian Death Flu, I will work with you. (On the syllabus it says something like "The instructor has the right, but not the obligation, to make accommodations for serious extenuating circumstances.")
thesunscreen ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 17:19:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was X a blow job? It feels like X is a blow job.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:28:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist, X was anal
runcircles ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 17:50:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
X gon' give it to ya
popopgoesdashoulda ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:52:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck waiting for you to get it on your own
A_ReallySickFuck ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:59:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anal's gonna get delivered to ya
Waffleman205 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knock knock open up your ass it's real
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maximum effort.
A_ReallySickFuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got a 12 inch Dildo made of Stainless Steel
invasive_strep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedanal
MangoBitch ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:17:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, my dad is really willing to work with students by giving them extensions or extra credit and he's gotten some really good results.
Yeah, there's always the students who ask for extra credit, get an opportunity, and then blow it because they secretly just want you to hand them a better grade. But there's also people who just had a really shitty, hard semester and honestly want to do well. To be fair, he teaches fairly basic, introductory math at a commuter college, though, so he has more single moms trying to better themselves than whiny, entitled college freshman.
I one time asked him why he kept giving people second chances and accepting their shitty excuses. He told me that he's there to teach, not to punish people for not having their lives in perfect order. And that as long as they're willing to work, he's willing to help.
I have tons of memories of his former students coming up to him and thanking him for teaching them that they can do math and for always being willing to work with them. One even went on to become an engineer after thinking he was terrible at it for most of his life.
actuallycallie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:59:16 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sadly, there are quite a few who are NOT willing to work. those are the ones that we're complaining about here. I will never turn away a student who is willing to learn and try. But if you just fuck off and then come crying at the end of the semester... nope.
McWaddle ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:13:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The students that will do extra credit work don't need the extra credit, and the ones that do need it won't do the work.
fdar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:21:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In one of my upper lever classes you could redo the problems you got wrong in the HW to get a portion of the points you lost back.
I felt that was a good way of helping the students that were struggling but willing to do the work while being fair to everybody.
It also encourages students to look over the HW and understand what they got wrong.
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:34:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I was a professor, my extra credit would be offered to everyone, and unless you submitted everything else for the semester, you were ineligible. If I had someone who was audacious enough to ask if they could submit earlier assignments, I would say "Yes. But you will still get 0s on them. If you take them seriously then you may submit the extra credit assignment same as everyone else." Extra credit should make up for doing poorly on an assignment, not save your grade because you didn't bother doing the work assigned during the semester.
actuallycallie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:23:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it's EXTRA credit. Not "substitute" credit.
fdar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:23:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In one of my upper lever classes you could redo the problems you got wrong in the HW to get a portion of the points you lost back.
I felt that was a good way of helping the students that were struggling but willing to do the work while being fair to everybody.
It also encourages students to look over the HW and understand what they got wrong.
diegosbrokenfoot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell the kids who try to ask for extra credit after doing nothing all semester that extra zero is still zero.
grubas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try the shock and horror when a parent calls you office because their kid never submitted anything. Or submits a form letter about how he wants to sue you for discrimination. In college.
farcedsed ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:36:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you were a professor you likely wouldn't. I tried this one time for a comp course I taught, and they basically argued that it "wasn't fair".
Also, it's rare for any student to turn in all of their work in general.
Meatwad555 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a university so trust me when I say that students like this are not uncommon.
RyanG7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why we can't have nice things
MissMarionette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my college some professors (depending on what they're teaching) will just drop the lowest scoring quizzes at the end of the semester. These are usually 5 or 10 point quizzes, nothing major, but they're frequent enough that it's easy to miss them if you get sick or decide to cut class.
My history professor also tells us at the beginning of the semester that he takes participation and obvious evidence of trying hard (emails, meetings outside of class in his office, asking questions, etc.) to help him determine how much he should bump a grade up. Someone with a D+ that would just need 5 more points would get that C- if they proved their interest and willingness to learn in the ways I just described.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned years ago not to believe random statements people make about people they know, unless I also talk to the other side, to be fair.
jctheslp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So that's who ruined it for the rest of us!!!
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can just imagine a parent screaming at him "WHY DON'T YOU OFFER EXTRA CREDIT?!" and him telling this tale.
YXxTRUTHxXY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care what people say or think.. free college for everyone AND then no college dumbass left behind. What a great society of "educated" degreed dumbasses we could have. Logical? Oh absolutely, no doubts /s
LateralThinkerer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teach engineering classes at junior/senior level. Had a student miss an exam. No problem, arrange for a make-up exam that she never shows up for. Schedule another...
Well after four of these she showed up at my office to schedule yet another and I simply said "No".
She scampered off to bitch at the department head about what a jerk I was.
yanney33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a college senior, i got sick a lot and ended up missing one of my classes a lot. At our school, they issue you a warning when you are on the brink of failing, but its confidential information.
wouldnt ya know, the teacher decided to walk into class one morning and tell everyone that i got one of those warnings. she knew she fucked up immediately and gave me a passing grade once i spoke to the Dean about it.
bluepony78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a university professor. Extra credit opportunities should never been offered to only one student (or a few students). If there is to be extra credit, it must be offered to the entire class and sufficiently in advance (not after grades are out). It is very common for students to request extra credit only for them. I say "no" and explain why it would be unfair to the rest of the class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this was when he was first starting out. He initially said no for the reasons you mentioned, but the kid wore him down and compassion got the better of him. Live and learn.
YeOldeTroweAway ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:12:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In senior year of high school I had this class, Civics or Government or some such nonsense. Right before graduation, I am told I'm flunking due to "non-participation." In other words, I passed all my tests but didn't do homework and slept through class more often than not. This really pissed off the teacher, for whatever reason. I mean, it's not like I was disruptive. If I had to guess, I'd say it was her ego. This broad loved the sound of her own voice. She was also a big Rush Limbaugh fan and most of her "lectures" were just her opinions, really. It was kind of a bullshit class.
Be that as it may, I still needed it to graduate. I realized my final exam didn't count enough toward my grade to carry me through, I asked her if I could make up any of the work. She said if I did all of the homework and wrote essays for each chapter we'd covered for the entire year, not just the semester, she would accept them and I could pass.
I pulled all-nighters for the next week, busted my ass, all while working a full-time job in the afternoon/evenings (I only had 3 classes senior year) and I got everything done. When I handed it to her, the look on her face told me she never expected me to actually follow through. She tossed it in the garage and said it "wouldn't be fair" to the other students who had been doing their work all along.
Summer school wasn't bad. Not as fun as certain Mark Harmon films portray, but it went at a faster pace so I wasn't as bored. Also, I liked the teacher. He was a cantankerous old bastard who was very fun to debate.
About a year or so later, I was working in a bookstore when this customer starts talking to me like she knows me. I really had no idea who she was. This seemed to upset her greatly. I gave her the polite customer service "I see a lot of people" line. About halfway through our exchange, I realized she was that shitty teacher, but I kept pretending not to know her. I like to think it took her down a peg. Sure seemed like it.
SaskaVeg ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:02:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 10 years out of university and lately I have been having this dream where I enrolled in several university classes but forgot entirely to attend a single class. It's interesting to see it is a reality for some.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What would happen to you in your country if it was the case ?
SaskaVeg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be out a couple thousand and get to add a failed university class to my CV
omnichronos ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 15:46:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a Freshman, I was assigned a single credit honors program class. I couldn't find the building so I never went. At the end of the semester, I earned a "B".
thesunscreen ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:20:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, now that is a professor who just doesn't give a fuck.
metastasis_d ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bailed
grrliz ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/thathappened
RoboChrist ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor looks over his grade list with a serious hangover after an end of semester party. Sees that one student somehow has zero points. Shit, must have accidentally deleted his column in my spreadsheet. Shit, why don't I have backups? Shit, I need to drink less.
The professor doesn't really care about this one credit bullshit class anyway, so it's less effort to just give out a B and hope it was right. And if the student does show up with proof that he should get an A, then he'll change the grade. Because why should he care? He wanted to do research, not babysit ungrateful kids.
HeyCasButt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:45:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spot on
Rambles_Off_Topics ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:18:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yep, just making sure it's still a 0. Maybe someone submitted some work under my name? No? Great...."
Rose_Walker ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:08:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get a lot of surprise when I tell students that they're failing or on a track to failing. My response is always the same - did you come to class? Did you participate? Did you do your homework/write your essays? If the answer to any of those questions is no, how can you be surprised that you're failing?
Reallyhotshowers ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:15:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, I teach university mathematics. While the lower level classes are the worst about this, I had too many students in my Calc class do this (in general, students doing Calc are a little more motivated and ambitious in their math classes than those who just need college algebra).
What made it more annoying is that all their grades were posted online and the grading scale was in the syllabus. You're in Calculus. You should be able to compute your own grade, and make projections about how well you need to do on all future assignments to pass.
Rose_Walker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! I post grades within 3 days of an assignment so I cannot comprehend how you don't know. Your cellphone is glued to your face, check your grade.
Azten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 16:35:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RoboChrist ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:18:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you actually know the material, then the assignments are going to be easy and not take very much time. But even if you know it perfectly, practice and repetition are the key to making it stick in your memory in the long run.
People who take pride in not trying hard at anything get a harsh lesson when they're in the workforce. No one cares if you only spent an hour working on your project if the guy who spent 8 hours did a better one. Maybe you could have done just as good of a job, but you didn't. And results talk.
Rose_Walker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:37:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And what you think of as "Mickey Mouse" assignments might have a deeper purpose than you imagine. Don't assume a teacher is just giving you make work. :)
actuallycallie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:41:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you never need to ask anyone for a recommendation.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 17:50:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
actuallycallie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool. Have fun with that.
Rose_Walker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:36:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fine, I can't make you do work. But then don't be surprised that you're failing. If you do not do the work, then you will get a zero. The end.
Matsas11 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was his reaction? Was he angry or did he just go 'Oh...'
FloofTrashPanda ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:53:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the OP, but my mom's a professor and has a lot of stories like this, and they often end with the student going "well what can I do to bring it up?" or asking for extra credit or some variation on that theme. Like they think they can just not come to class the whole semester (because hey it's college! You don't HAVE to show up if you don't want to!) and then do one big dump of "makeup work" and pass with whatever grade they "need."
cewfwgrwg ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:17:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class where if your score on the final was higher than your average from the whole semester, he'd just use that as your final grade.
I went to class three times and still pulled an A-. Didn't even take one of the exams.
It was an incredibly easy class. Intro economics classes aren't hard by any stretch of the imagination.
jsue75jd7 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class once where we had a weekly homework assignment and test. If your test grade was higher than your homework grade he would use the test grade for both. You could take the tests at any point in the semester. I went in the second week and took every single test and got an A on all of them. Never stepped foot in the room again. Easiest class I ever took.
MrNumeros ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:38:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class just like that, but the Professor also liked to gamble so he would challenge anyone to a game where you would both draw a card and whomever had the highest would win. The bet at stake was your grade, he either gave you a 100 (highest grade) or a 0 (which would absolutely destroy your GPA and eliminate you from school benefits (high grades meant the university would only charge you 15 US per semester).
Not one person had ever taken him on that bet, but I also being the gambling type (hating that class also influenced) decided to go for it. He was so impressed that someone actually did it that he just told me he liked my confidence and told me there was no need to draw, i had my 100 and I could leave for the rest of the semester.
accioupvotes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I rarely call bullshit, but I'm calling bullshit on this story. Did he give you a $100 bill while the class gave a standing ovation?
MrNumeros ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No money was given and if you wanted to take his bet you had to see him after class so no. No standing ovation or money. But I did get to skip that shitty class.
Also if this is the type of college story you call bullshit on, you either didn't go to college or just had a very boring college life...
Edit: Also not American, therefore a 100 dollar bill would have been strange.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the inverse of that, I had a professor that calculated your class grade a week before the final exam and if it was above a B you could choose not to take the final and that was that. Most of the class had Cs or lower because they never showed up or studied for the quizzes so they had to stay. It was History of Television so I think a lot of them took it as a throwaway course and didn't realize a class about TV could be hard.
Gypsyarados ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:26:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who got so sick of that shit that he just said, "sure, write me a paper of each of [6 topics], minimum 10.000 words each. You will earn the average of the 6 essays as your grade. You have until the essay submission date [6 days later]."
Funnily enough, that's still his only extra credit assignment to never been accepted.
thesunscreen ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:23:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
60K words in 6 days. If you're not plagiarizing you're not trying.
Gypsyarados ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The entire class is essay based, and he simply picked a number. He reckoned 1-2000 words per essay, 3 drafts and the research, references and bibliography.
actuallycallie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to come to class. I, in turn, don't have to pass you. :) I also don't have to write you a recommendation letter. :)
Azten ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:03:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was just "Oh". I didn't actually say "What do you think you'd have?" to him. He dropped the class the next week
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:33:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was probably either a) hoping that he hadn't missed any important assignments/tests yet. I had a couple classes in college that just had midterms and a final, HW was for our own benefit and not graded. Or b) he had been expecting a friend to do all his assignments for him, and didn't know that they weren't actually doing so.
[deleted] ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 14:53:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Azten ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:26:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since it was 0%, maybe I should have told him it was a F-?
shahooster ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:33:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college (5 point scale), an F was a 1. If you didn't do anything, you'd get a 0. So, yes, there was something worse than an F for us.
-Reddit_Account- ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:39:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Super failing
Ketchup901 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:05:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Sweden we have "-" if there just isn't enough to set a grade on. So if you never attended class you'd get a -.
hyperforce ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:40:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might get a D if you're lucky.
october-supplies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A solid D.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Moruitelda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do they call him "Lucky" if he broke both his arms?
HoodedPotato ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:23:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he meant what grade as in 1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade, etc. I was just going to say, how the heck did he make it to college? Thankfully that's not the case. Still pretty bad though.
Ispeelgud ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:33:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still find myself wondering that question.
shhh_its_ok ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a recurring dream for me. Happy to know that I'm not alone.
artemasad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Realizing on the very last day of school you're enrolled in a class you've never attended to and have to go in to take your final.
I've been out of school for about a decade now.
Ihatecraptcha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get recurring dreams that I'm that student.
Ekkosangen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could you maybe round that up to a D-?
Drunken_Economist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You joke, but my sophomore year, I dropped a class I wasn't interested in . . . only I somehow screwed up and never dropped it, a fact I only found out come finals week when the professor emailed apologetically admitting he had lost my graded binder. He asked if I'd be willing to accept a B+ overall because he remembered me as a good student, or I could turn all my papers in if I still had copies.
Easiest B+ I ever got
Bronco1986 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on,you forgot to grade on a curve
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school teacher here. Same question from the kids who never show up. Clearly daddy's boys and gals.
ZBLongladder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a recurring nightmare where I'm back in college and realize halfway through the semester that I'd completely forgotten one of my classes and was completely fucked. I'd then wake up and reassure myself that there's no way, nobody's that stupid.
At least he wasn't living out the "show up in class and realize you've got no clothes on" nightmare.
Chazwozel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow he's living what used to be a recurring dream for me.
gazzort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it was worth a shot.
sugoijyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an online student last quarter who didn't participate in any discussion, missed the term paper, submitted zero assignments, and skipped the midterm and final. However he did do several of the weekly quizzes (albeit poorly) and ended up with a final grade of around 7% in the class. Amazing.
RicottaPuffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still get the dream where I am looking for my first period class in high school, I am fucking lost and I am 54.
veggieSmoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I do recall many classes where the midterm and final accounted for 70-80โ of the grade, so.. he may just be another strategic thinker :)
Azten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My syllabus pretty well lined out where the % of grades was. But I doubt he even showed up for the first class to get it.
veggieSmoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get the syllabus online. :)
Awildgarebear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Online classes wrecked me with dreams that I enrolled in a class, but then never participated in it, especially the online discussions ; even years after graduating.
dmizenopants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, at least you did him a solid
Azten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is something to be said about having exactly 0% in a class half way through the semester.
dmizenopants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't get exactly 0% without putting in any effort. That takes years of dedication to ones craft that isn't learned overnight
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well I know people who have gotten a passing grade after not showing up to any classes or exams. So maybe he felt lucky that you'd screw up. Or seriously doubt yourself enough to give him a C.
justanotherkenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so what's my grade?
_Anadrius_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear that guy sounds a lot like Felix my classmate
not_lucia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starting college in a month and yet I've been getting this dream about high school? Its always either maths or English.
ndewing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's sounds more like a lower F to me.
Azten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At 0% is it actually a F-?
ndewing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you can go lower than a 0 on your GPA lol
CG_Ops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a fun article about it https://braindecoder.com/post/why-we-still-have-school-anxiety-dreams-1336233928
wholesalefish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when i was in college, i took a sociology of law class during one semester. i went to the class twice before the midterm (the only work/grades in the class were the midterm exam and final exam). went to one class during the second half of the semester (the last class before the exam). also grew a terribly cheesy mustache for the first time during this time period. show up to the review / last class, and the professor asks: "Who are you?" I respond: "Wholesalefish, i think i need to speak with you after class" Professor: "I don't think we have anything to speak about".
took the exam, after which the professor suggests i meet him during office hours the next day. he tells me that he doesn't care about my bullshit, doesn't want to hear any excuses... but if i will sit in on the course during the next semester and take the exams over again, he will replace my grade with the one i earn over the fall semester. "great..." i think to myself. "another chance, better not blow it." fall semester rolls around... i make my first appearance of the semester in the professor's office during office hours a couple weeks before the semester is over.
me: "so what did you want me to do regarding earning my grade for the course?" professor: "grumble, grumble... ugh... just go, and i will think about what to do with you." me: "ok, just let me know..." 2 weeks later i had a B- for the course. all my other grades for all my other courses though, i had to earn (many on a fairly tough curve).
edit: all the time i spent not going to class, i actually spent developing a particular hobby/skill that would lead to an exciting job/career years down the road... so it was time well spent, in my opinion.
poloport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you let work you into a D?
Azten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably could have pulled that off, but he dropped the class the next week.
ademnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Just wanted to make sure I didn't jeopardize my F. I might have accidentally participated in class and gotten a D."
Nat_Uchiha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No hw and the worst he got was a F? Not bad for my country. Where I come from the worst grade is a U
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should've given him a Z.
knockturnal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend have that happen to him by accident. There were two sections of the class he was registered for, and he went to the wrong section the entire year. No on notified him - he even took the midterm in the wrong section and no one said a word.
DronePirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There should not be any quizzes or homework.
Comicspedia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I just had this guy last semester. He sat down for the final, and I seriously thought he was just a mistaken student in the wrong class (I often had the next hour's students waiting outside the door). I asked if he was in the right class, he laughed and said yes.
I looked up his name. He only attended the midterm and final. Except in this course, there is WAY more work than that. Even if he aced both (though he got a D on the midterm), he'd fail the course.
I informed him of this. He looked a little distraught, then left.
uencos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure that you weren't trapped in somebody else's dream?
I_love_pillows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
F for Fucked
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You weren't at IU were you?
gigglefarting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least it's solid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about an F+?
theblitheringidiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a reoccurring nightmare except this guy was living the dream.
PhanomNopporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got parents that were refugees of war. Family on both my sides lost their homes to communist insurgency. I think about this everyday and it motivates me to capture any opportunity I can get.
Half the world would give anything, life, limb, eyes, a dick sucking, to be able to attend a 1st world college.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this before tbh. I was hoping he would be all like "but this is how you can change it"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this nightmare a couple times a year, I graduated 2 years ago
broadsheetvstabloid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of something I did in college. I was friends with this girl who had a class shortly after one of my classes in an adjacent classroom. So I would often see her and talk to her in the hall. Sometimes, I would sit in the classroom with her until her class was about to start. One day they were having a quiz, this time, instead of leaving, when the teacher came in I stayed seated. The teacher handed out the quiz and I put a fake name on it and proceed to fill it in with the most ridiculous bullshit I could think of. About 5 min later everyone else is still taking the quiz and I walk up hand mine in and leave the classroom. Good times.
skelebone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's it like being the teacher in my persistent nightmares? Also, why are you still coming around when I finished my degree seven years ago?
brosenfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got expelled from NJIT at the beginning of a semester and I still managed to pull a C in a physics class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's better than a liquid F
BashTheDj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i wonder if it was a cultural anthropology class circa 2007 at a small college in Pennsylvania
OneOfUsOneOfUsGooble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the 70's, my dad was informed that he was enrolled in a college course he never knew about. He was earning a C+. His response: "Cool!"
lddebatorman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once went to a marketing class for the first 5 weeks of a semester. The first test rolls around and turns out I'm not in Principles of Marketing... I'm in sports marketing. Luckily the classes are so similar, the profs work it out with the dept head and I manage to stay in my original class and transfer the grade to principles. I still grab beers with that marketing professor occasionally.
AnotherDAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
come on - he deserved an F+ for initiative.
mvanvoorden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: It was the silent kid, and you mixed him up with the actual never-there-guy, a solid A grade student in your book.
Itoggat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to know his reaction
Azten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just an "Oh" you could tell that he understood now that I laid out that there wasn't a single thing turned in by him. He dropped the class the next week.
C_h_a_n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went a full semester to a class it turns out I never really sign up, just I tought I did. It was the only class I regularly attend that year.
CringeName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I once TRIED to fail a class because I wanted to retake it to full grasp the material before I progressed to the next class. I didn't take the midterm, the final, I didn't do probably about the last half of assignments, and didn't show up for about the last half either. I still passed with a C somehow. I think my professor thought he was doing me a favor but her fucked me since me passing meant I couldn't retake the class.
natelyswhore22 ยท 1445 points ยท Posted at 15:03:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, the same student asked:
Where is the Great Wall of China?
Aren't the sun and Moon the same thing?
That guy with the Hitler mustache... Did he win?
Ymnar ยท 707 points ยท Posted at 17:41:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, Charlie Chaplin won us all.
jasontheswamp ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:47:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking Michael Jordan, he won a lot.
Unusualmann ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he no win, UN kick him in da balls, rite?
[idiocracy reference k]
mammarymastication ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 17:32:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just died
Optometrist__Prime ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:45:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He seemed to be causing quite a bit of that
Random-Rambling ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 17:32:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does this person actually know why it's called a "Hitler mustache"?
OldFrets ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:46:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, it was named after Stalin.
prancingElephant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stalin's 'stache was far more impressive tbh
Atalvez ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 17:48:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3) Sadly no, Chaplin did not win the look-alike contest.
JMS1991 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they just wanted the teacher to point out the specific location within China? I mean, China is a pretty big country.
squatplugsalesman ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:31:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose that's not entirely unreasonable, border walls can often end up under someone else's control.
Hadrian's wall isn't exactly in Rome anymore.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:41:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not yet..
Evning ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:39:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes same game. just 12 hours out of phase.
I_AM_CALAMITY ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:13:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Precious child
Pasglop ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:01:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're talking about Charlie Chaplin at the Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest, no, he came 3rd
zanderkerbal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:43:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charlie Chaplin?
DragonNovaHD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was talking about Charlie Chaplin and his entry into a film awards ceremony
Hates_escalators ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:54:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Great Wall of China is the only man-made structure that can bee seen from Earth.
Obviously I know this isn't true, I'm not stupid.
888mphour ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:22:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hates_escalators ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:25:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I forgot the /s.
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy with the Hitler moustache, you mean Hitler? No, no he did not.
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kevin
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Jordan won 6 championships
Sambri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were parts of the Great Wall in what is nowadays North Korea and Mongolia (the Wall isn't a single wall, but a group of several, that were built, expanded and abandoned for a long time).
NasalSnack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddammit Kevin
JannaSwag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler is rolling over in his grave... his mustache is more famous than he is.
velvetbuds17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must've been talking about Charlie Chaplin๐
Alsadius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, he won a few things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He starred in The Great Dictator and then died of a stroke. Had an active acting career and 11 children, so yeah, he won.
same mustache
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, depending on your politics, the Great Wall is either in China or Mongolia.
I think the sun and moon one is mixing up the fact that moonlight is reflected sunlight.
callmeAllyB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With the great wall question I would have thought that they were asking about what provinces it ran through...
Lemerney2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thehighepopt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now he votes Republican
jpfern15 ยท 295 points ยท Posted at 15:30:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry I'm not a teacher, but this was a question my teacher asked a student in my philosophy class (community college):
Teacher: "If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it must beeee..." (points at random student for an answer)
Random Student: "Man, I have no idea"
I_AM_PLUNGER ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 18:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A WITCH
FuzzySAM ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:04:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BURN HER!
pablossjui ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TO THE STAKE WITH YAH!
Culinarytracker ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:55:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SHE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT!
Silverdragon701 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:12:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... I got better.....
AyyyMycroft ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:11:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to sympathize, cause that totally sounds like a trick question.
Triton_330 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:37:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gay?
Chibi_rox3393 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:46:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No seams are gay
Triton_330 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:12:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know what you meant to say, but it's funny to think that seams or stitching could be gay.
Chibi_rox3393 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:21:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Swans... I'm an idiot or my auto correct is... I'm not sure which...
Triton_330 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:18:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know. Lol.
AbdulTheAgent ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:42:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who just recently starting majoring in philosophy, I have to sympathize with the student here.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:57:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An angry chicken
JBloodthorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:16 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would seem that you found the Pyrrhonist.
griffmeister ยท 1297 points ยท Posted at 15:52:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, this fucking kid, I'm sure everyone has one in their grade. The type that is told his answer is wrong but somehow won't accept it and defends his factually wrong answer with the weirdest, bullshit logic.
It was the year that the game FABLE came out and the slogan was "For every decision, a million outcomes." This kid was in my 9th grade English class and we were learning about actual Fables. This kid asks the teacher "Doesn't the word fable mean for a single decision, there's a million outcomes?"
Cue everyone in the class slowly turning their heads to look at him.
The teacher said "No, a fable is a short story or tale used to establish or show ethics and morals" (something along those lines, aka THE ACTUAL MEANING OF THE WORD FABLE)
The kid goes "oh, well I think you're wrong cause there's this game that came out and in the commercials it says for every decision there's a million outcomes."
The teacher and this kid literally argued about the meaning of the word fable for like half an hour in class and everyone's telling the kid he's wrong and he refuses to accept it because the "commercial said otherwise" (he didn't actually use the word otherwise, im sure that it's out of his vocabulary range, but he refused to relent)
Fucking Ryan. Shut the fuck up.
TehScrumpy ยท 230 points ยท Posted at 00:01:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
History teacher said Magna Carta and this one girl opens her mouth and says "excuse me it's manga."
I hope she thinks back on that and cringes a little.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:01:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wonder what her reaction was to manganese.
skilliard7 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:52:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/weabootales
jfgjfgjfgjfg ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:01:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or at least get diagnosed for dyslexia?
TheTinyTim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:38 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"you mean the Jay-Z album? Idk if I'd call it that groundbreaking."
Vat1canCame0s ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 23:39:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FABLE: For every decision, there are maybe 3 outcomes...
Fucking Molyneux, shut the fuck up Molyneux.....
griffmeister ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:05:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao, too true
rahyveshachr ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 19:15:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
omg the stupidest people I've ever come across are usually named Ryan.
True_IamSLATE ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 20:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate sharing a name with them because this is generally true.
anapollosun ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:09:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better, I am an 'Uncle Dave'. So I unfortunately have to share that moniker with pedophiles.
OreBear ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:30:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I have an uncle Dave and he didn't diddle me a single time.
griffmeister ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:13:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's weird, your Uncle Dave diddled me
ThatDudeShadowK ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:03:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it was multiple times
Mafros99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am so sorry. Also don't forget the wonderful alternative roles for an "Uncle Dave" in the popular imagination, aka caricature redneck, drunkard, or conspiracy theorist type weirdo. I actually have an Uncle Dave too lol.
relevantusername- ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
???
TheCoolman78 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 22:26:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username does not check out.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:07:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
alienccccombobreaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
H_n_m_n
studflower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least you're not a Kevin... It's always Kevin.
Timekeeper81 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:09:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, that sounded more like a Gavin story.
PaulsRedditUsername ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:09:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to elementary school with a kid named Ryan. He liked to eat glue.
Stewbodies ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 22:35:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend named Ryan, he's smart. Experiences with Ryans may vary.
Harmonex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:18 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ask you're doctor if your Ryan lasts for more than four hours.
hiRyan33 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I, uh.. oh :(
rahyveshachr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all though! I know a Ryan in his 50's (it feels like an anachronism) and he's really nice. And plenty others.
hiRyan33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:53:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's ok I'm a fucking retard
MacMacfire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a Ryan who's a complete
idiotasshole, does that count?rahyveshachr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I know someone exactly like that named Ryan.
flabbybumhole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yMiOTxidFs
I can only think of this when I hear the name Ryan
Wayfarer42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta get me some Jamba Juice
ExpFilm_Student ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want a chick like that. Fax me im me email me call me im available
And single
Barbarossa6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Huh... not a stereotype I have EVER seen ascribed to my name, and I'm 29.
hikiri ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:04:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he burn a pita in the microwave at work too?
griffmeister ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:05:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RYAN STARTED THE FIYAH
lydsbane ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:38:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class with a guy who sat there and talked about irrelevant things for twenty minutes. The teacher just sat back and smiled indulgently because he didn't care. He got paid, either way. I finally got frustrated enough to say, "Are you done yet? The rest of us want to get through this." And he said, "Don't speak until you're spoken to."
In case it wasn't clear, I'm female. I was so enraged by his remark and I couldn't do anything about it because I don't believe in smacking the crap out of anyone, no matter how misogynistic they are. I couldn't form words. I ended up putting my head down and crying. I was twenty-one, at the time.
lekoman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:32:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fake news before it was cool.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:04:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sorry
Merishone123 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:01:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Ryan. Epic Will Power.
hyacinthinlocks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:58:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have millions of people like that in the planet. And they have access to internet. And they vote. And they are elected. And they can start wars.
Beviah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this all too well.
I was in English class as well when something similar occurred. We were going over the Holocaust (as a refresher since where I live, the Holocaust is taught in early to late middle school, and this was an honors English level senior class), because we were going to delve into some Holocaust related literature. At which point, one girl pipes up and says "The Holocaust wasn't real. I've never seen evidence of it." (Mind you, my English teacher is Jewish) At which point, he gave her the biggest "you're a fucking idiot" face in the world, and calmly asked why she thought this, at which point she replied "Well, I've never seen anything to prove it happened, so, I say it never happened." Myself, nor my friends could control our laughter at this point, and my teacher just told her, and I quote "Please shut up, I don't want to have this discussion right now."
Rumor has it that there was a fairly heated discussion after class, which supposedly didn't go her way at all.
AnotherWhiteMexican ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Kevin to me
griffmeister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not very far
BomberMeansOK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Donald to me.
Derper2112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one kind of pisses me off because back when I was in school the teacher would point to/hand us a dictionary to look it up. Then we had to read the definition to the class. There's no way that argument would have happened.
EnderWigginIII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'll grow up to tell people alternative facts.
humpyXhumpy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair that was a great fucking game.
TantalusBalbanes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ryan checking in! Not all Ryans are turds! I believe in evolution, notably not an asshole, and never even played Fable. Also, my co worker is Ryan, great guy. That's at least 2 non-asshole Ryans. Personally, Kyles fit this description in my life.
thefenixfamily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:09 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my brother is a bit of a dick, but he does mean well.
ExpFilm_Student ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternative facts
benevolentpotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who was on the debate team and would argue after he knew he was wrong just for fun. I learned this after arguing with him for far too long that it was not possible to get going faster than the speed of light by "putting a nuke in a big funnel and putting a space ship in front of it." I ended up talking about him with my econ teacher and telling her this, and she was really happy to learn it because apparently he'd been eating up class time just arguing random points. He got mad at me for ruining his fun.
isfturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they not have access to a dictionary?
Stuporhumanstrength ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid just might be a future U.S.president.
Scottiths ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gong to take flak for this: but that sounds like the current president of the US...
CobaltStar_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, Ryan would make a great US politician!
burningheavy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the day I was that kid...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/justneckbeardthings
ryanm212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure I've heard fable used in that context beef or
imperfect_purpose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we just voted him in for POTUS.
D-Ursuul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite (not) was after assassin's creed 2 came out and all those kids started claiming the could speak Italian and were into renaissance history
JayNotAtAll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like he may be president some day
TheLooooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then he grew up and was eventually elected president, even despite his tiny, tiny hands.
W_O_M_B_A_T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the student named Donald Trump, by chance?
thejarrell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:05 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knew a kid who insisted that North Little Rock was North of us because it has north in the name. Google maps was also apparently wrong for displaying it to the south
Hobo1107 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least you didn't have to do anything but listen to them argue for most of the period (unless it was double English)
griffmeister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was double English :/
Hobo1107 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:36 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch
Onlyusemifeet ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have fucked Ryan's mom.
cetren ยท 535 points ยท Posted at 14:47:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do Chinese people think in English?" Wait, what?
Pawprintjj ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 22:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in my first-year high school German class wondered how the Germans got so quick at translating all those English words in their heads into German when they spoke.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:20:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Along the same lines, a girl in my French class asked "how young do they teach babies in France the French language?". It took us all a few minutes to ascertain what she meant. She thought all babies were born speaking English and had to learn a second language.
HKei ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:23:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if they're fluent in english they probably do when they're communicating in english. Most people subvocalize their thoughts, and it is incredibly inefficient to think a thought in one language, translate it and only then say something, not to mention all the hard to impossible to translate language specific features like common idioms.
cetren ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:27:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. This was a serious question about the average Chinese person...
PhantomHunter01 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:41:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Dan! Ehhhhh......
beldr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:20:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A good version of that question is: "In what language do deaf people think?"
cetren ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I read another Ask Reddit about this! It's around here somewhere.
adriellealways ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:38 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. I've always assumed in the language that they write, which makes no sense, because not all people are literate.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:28:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While that question is stupid, the implications of the answer is actually interesting. The language that people think in does inform and effect their behavior.
Speakers of futureless tongues (those that do not distinguish between the present and future tense, e.g. Estonian) show greater support for future-oriented policies, such as protecting the environment.
cetren ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:28:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh absolutely! Linguistics is really interesting.
1man_factory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:27 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recall the actual link between those two is pretty contentious, and really stretches the limits of the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis
BloodSpatterAnalysts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:13:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so crazy but possible. I actually think in English, but Iยดm from El Salvador (we speak spanish).
gigavato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:30:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do that too, I'm a spanish speaker from Mexico, but bilingual.
ยฟTe ha pasado que haces un comentario aqui en reddit en ingles y no puedes explicarlo en espaรฑol o viceversa?
BloodSpatterAnalysts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:56 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Algo asรญ, sobre todo me pasa que estoy hablando y de repente me trabo porque no se como explicarme del inglรฉs al espaรฑol.
FluffySharkBird ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:25 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that as a kid too. I could not imagine NOT thinking in English.
Stevarooni ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spasibo, Comrade! IMDB
atomskprime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We must fight against the Omnics!
fizbin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:17:20 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ISTR an AskReddit thread from a while ago where a guy who'd spent time teaching English in Japan got a similar question from a little five-year-old Japanese kid about when they make kids in America use the English names for things. (instead of the "real" (i.e. Japanese) names)
Lord_Commisar_Byron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's thinking in Japanese!!!
TheSentella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a while, but now I do.
Connelly90 ยท 7763 points ยท Posted at 13:15:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a pupil ask me if the Sun they saw in America was the same as the Sun we saw here in Scotland, and why was their Sun so much warmer...
EDIT - ITT:People acting like knowing what the Sun is, and that there's only one, requires any more than nursery level knowledge of astronomy. The kid was 15.
AJS97 ยท 4683 points ยท Posted at 14:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Living in Scotland, this one isn't hard to believe.
PurpleSkua ยท 2199 points ยท Posted at 15:10:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft they're clearly not Scottish, they've seen the sun
Cockalorum ยท 1322 points ยท Posted at 15:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scotland: If you can see the mountains, it's going to rain. If you cannae see the mountains, it's raining
KimJongUnusual ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:14:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one's a Scot.
xQuasarr ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:20:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye
Jeff-FaFa ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:01:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it's always gonnae rain?
FlyingWeagle ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:17:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a mountain?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:48:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jeff-FaFa ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:09:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where mountains come from.
ShutY0urDickHolster ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:17:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When a mommy mountain and a daddy mountain love each other very much...
Jeff-FaFa ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:36:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Earthquakes happen, and sometimes boom! volcanoes erupt. That's pure, hot love right there.
Jeff-FaFa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:09:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's what Scotland is made out of.
katoninetales ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:59:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, sometimes it's already raining.
AbstractGrid ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:09:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for the proper spelling
WaffleToasterings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm: Edinburgh based gran says this.
lum1872 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:50:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But ye cannae shove yir granny aff a bus
Dikaneisdi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:13:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cause she's yer mammy's mammy
lum1872 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know its a late reply but, aye!
WaffleToasterings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye, unless ye have Lorne on yersel when am in toon
runxsassypantiesxrun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grammy from Blackburn says this
DavisJ3608 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Oregon!
greyjackal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Balls. We had a wee cracker of a day this morning. For about ten minutes. Glorious - had to get me sunnies out.
passa117 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if typo or Scottish.
AbusiveBadger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:09:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fairly obvious
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:30:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheGuyWhoNeedsSaving ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:23:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dry as in no rain or dry as in no alcohol. Because one of those does not make sense...
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:46:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither of those make sense.
CapnSirloin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edinburgh is a magical place. I once spent two warm, gorgeous days and evenings there in late August. Upon returning to the US, I was recounting this visit with my grandfather. He said the coldest he had ever been in his entire life (he grew up in Indiana) was in Edinburgh in late August.
Not_That_Fast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Completely believable.
Superbuddhapunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ireland seems to be such a sunny place http://imgur.com/a/YtHpY
rage-quit ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:39:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only Sun I've ever seen in Scotland is on a shelf
MaenHoffiCoffi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is very, very good.
Connoire ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not as good as a few years ago. Page 3 will never be the same.
afihavok ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:48:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most beautiful summers I've ever experienced were in Scotland. 60-70F and sunny just about the entire summer. Now I live in TX, where it's 90-110F and the sun beats you like a drum the entire damn summer. Then it gets cold for a while but no snow. Then it's nice for about a week and back to 100F.
PurpleSkua ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:52:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I might quite literally die if I have to deal with a Texan summer
Recognizant ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:17:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is unfortunately not uncommon during heat waves.
mafidufa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anything under 70F I am wearing a jacket. I would take 100F plus over 50F any day.
afihavok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. I wouldn't. Not after this many summers of 100F plus.
Idontreadrepliesnoob ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:55:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That teacher with the commas and semicolons would like a word with you.
PurpleSkua ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:00:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the early days of Word's grammar check conditioned me to comma splice things out of spite
Captain_Captious ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:09:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am Scottish. Am living in Scotland. Can confirm. We have no sun.
Superbuddhapunk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Scottish summer is three consecutive days of sun between June and September :/
Captain_Captious ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He number of BBQ's we manage to fit into those three days would surprise you.
kelpiebitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We do so have a sun! She is however a stone cold bitch. She warms up for one day a year, where everyone goes mad and you cannae find a seat in a beer garden and ye see folk sunbathing in Lidls carpark (true story, sunbathing couple on the grassy bit at lidl near the southern in Glasgow).
Cannon1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:59:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No True Scotsman fallacy...
PM_me_yer_booobies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the sun?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:48:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a really shitty tabloid.
Hobbs54 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they're clearly no' Scottish - FTFY
djazzie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone?
IllBePirateKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it opened up their eyes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can see the sun ...for 15 minutes before random hail.
BertMacGyver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it not on that Tuesday in July in 1998? Might of been one of the lucky few to see it then.
mindlift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/gatekeeping
mandelboxset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do the other countries hog the sun all the time!
valhallabob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Sun: for people who are too intelligent for the star but not enough for anything else
PurpleSkua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that make it a brighter Star?
MYNEWMAIN_2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No true Scotsman...
flyingcircusdog ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:13:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do Scottish people know about the sun?
DungeonHills ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Sun? It's a rubbishy daily newspaper of English origin. What else?
ithika ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:24:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hear the people of Liverpool decided they don't want any more sun.
TheLastHaggis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:36:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but we can't go out in it, we're all ginger (unless you're some kind of fucking hybrid day-walker. Still no soul tho).
Irn Bru also allows gingers to leave the house, thats why we love it so much, provides UV death immunity
Drunken_Dolphin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:53:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree
MyDadDidntPullOut ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:10:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree2
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:17:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good comment/Jokeisinthecomment*r/jesuschristscotland = I agree3
TheNovaProspect ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:17:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glasgow...
HeyThereSport ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:36:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my family (from Texas) was vacationing in Scotland, a Scottish man asked us if we flew from Texas to find out what clouds look like.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:12:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Living in scotland, can't confirm. Never go outside.
spen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Living in Seattle, what's this thing you call "Sun"?
11181514 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Living in the US, this one isn't hard to believe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only Sun we get in Scotland is a shitty newspaper
kevinsyel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The old "No true Scotsman" logical fallacy...
Upnorth4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live near the Canadian border in Michigan, what's this sun you speak of?
Scotsmann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isnt the sun a newspaper?
DrunkenGolfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is the sun in Scotland part that makes it unbelievable.
dawgsjw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking helps add to the warmth.
TermsofEngagement ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever heard of Minnesota? There for a winter then we can talk.
ThatGuyInTheCorner96 ยท 437 points ยท Posted at 15:11:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like if we ignore the first part, this is a legitimate question.
DC-3 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 15:54:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Making a valid observation about the world, and being able to think about the problem in the abstract enough to create a valid hypothesis for why it might be the case is literally the opposite of stupid.
Typhoon460 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:08:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not actually that far off an entrance interview question one of the physics lecturers liked to use at my uni, he would ask people why we have seasons. Everyone's first response was to talk about the tilt of the planet but very few followed the reasoning through, at least not without prompting, to be able to explain why that caused a change in temperature.
Cllydoscope ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:31:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because the days are shorter/longer, and the bears are out in force slaughtering bees for their honey.
OKImHere ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:51:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? No, and no. What?
AchedTeacher ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:42:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it's colder in America than in Europe on the same latitude due to currents. Madrid is on the same latitude as New York. I'm guessing they're talking about Arizona and such, which I'm pretty sure has more to do with rain shadow than the tilt of the Earth.
Sincerely, not an expert on the topic.
zverkalt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:13:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, the further south you go the sun feels warmer. When I go from NC down to Florida the sun in noticeably more intense even if the temperature is the same. It has to do with the angles.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:27:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Angles and atmospheric interference... That's why you can stand outside all day on a sunny day in Canada (happens once or twice a year right?) and not really get a significant sunburn, however, when you tan on a cloudy day in Hawaii you can get a really bad sunburn if you don't apply sunscreen.
BronzeAgeCoprolite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You underestimate my skin's willingness to get crispy.
insertmemethere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would assume also because summer in Canada is also when the Earth is farthest from the Sun, which I think would decrease the intensity of the rays.
Typhoon460 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The distance can interfere with the severity of the extremes of winter and summer but its manly due to the angle the sunlight comes from, if I remember right because of the shape of the orbit the point at which the Earth is furthest from the sun doesn't stay constant from year to year. When its winter the sun is lower in the sky and the radiation comes in from an angle and is more of a glancing blow across the surface having to pass through a lot of atmosphere, where as in the height of summer its directly above and shining straight down so you get more energy reaching the surface. Being lower in the sky does also give you shorter days so there's less time for the radiation to heat the area.
insertmemethere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be because of the tilt, yes? When we are the farthest from the Sun, we are in Summer (in the Northern Hemisphere) because the Earth has tilted us towards the sun, and the Southern Hemisphere away from it, and when we are closest to the Sun we are in Winter because we have tilted away from the Sun (and this the rays come at us at an angle).
This effect is obviously exacerbated the closer to the poles you go obviously because that's where the tilt affects the rays and how they come into those areas through the atmosphere.
Typhoon460 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The tilts effect on the distance from the sun doesn't really make a difference, the change of angle changes the way the radiation impacts, you can be physically closer to the sun during winter than summer or vice versa. The severity of the winter or summer can alter with distance but the seasons are independent of distance.
Yup the lower the angle between the sun and the horizon the less effect the radiation is going to have on the area, close to the poles at winter is a lower angle than close to the equator at winter so you get a greater effect.
viperone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My hometown is five hours north of where I live right now, and I could go outside all day in the sunlight and do yard work and other things very comfortably there. Now I have to really minimize my time in the sun because it's so intense.
AchedTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure this isn't just to do with wind chill?
DSQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if Madrid is the same latitude as NYC think what latitude Scotland is on, hundreds of miles north.
AchedTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scotland is like Maine/south Canada latitude I imagine. Which is why it makes no sense to compare Scotland to the bulk of the continental US.
PlayLikeAChampToday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more like Labrador. 55ยฐN and above.
Jet147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scotland is significantly further north than Maine or the more populous parts of Canada. As a general rule, Europe is much warmer than American locations at same latitude
AchedTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, which is why the question is all wrong. The sun doesn't "shine brighter" in the United States, the South is on the latitude of the Sahara desert.
Typhoon460 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The currents do effect the climates of the different areas, I believe the Gulf stream is the reason the UK doesn't have Canadian weather but is more temperate. In relation to my lecturers question the angle is the important factor. He was asking (he was talking about seasons in the same area) but most people before prompting think its to do with the tilt increasing the distance of the area from the sun, he can generally poke them to the right answer over the course of the interview.
Orisara ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For those unaware.
It's basically because the same amount of energy has to heat up more space.
Less energy/kmยฒ
EdgarTheBrave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And for further information for people that don't know, this is due to the Earth's tilt in relation to the Sun.
Countries closer to the equator are warmer. This is also why the northern hemisphere tends to be colder than the southern hemisphere, and countries surrounding the equator.
This is because of the Earth's tilt, particularly during winter. During winter the Earth's tilt means that the northern hemisphere is tipped further away from the Sun. Good illustration.
Anyway, because the northern hemisphere is tilted more in relation to the Sun, Sunlight strikes it at a greater angle. Meaning the same volume of light/energy from the Sun is spread across a greater area. This image is a good representation (although the writing is small and hard to read, sorry).
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The north is colder than the south? Cite?
EdgarTheBrave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Average temps of northern hemisphere countries vs that of equatorial/southern hemisphere countries.
However it's not constant, as the earth changes in relation to the sun this causes the seasons to change.
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. You didn't say countries. That's because there practically aren't any southern hemisphere countries. The ones that do exist are near the equator. Rome is more north than Australia is south. New Zealand is the only country that's entirely south of the Tropic of Capricorn.
Edit: Apparently Uruguay and the tiny nations of Lesotho and Swaziland too.
volpes ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:16:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a recurring theme in this thread that stupid questions only seem so stupid because the person asking has made several logical leaps and isn't asking the real question they don't understand. Just an observation.
Aarakocra ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is the first part is not exactly an illegitimate question. If this is a young kid, their knowledge of celestial bodies is usually based on children's tales and observable circumstances. Nothing about that necessarily leads to a second Sun being out of the question.
This applies less if the kid has already been taught astronomy.
Sebleh89 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:18:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly that depends on how old the student was. I can see this question being legit if they're young enough to not have had enough education on space.
Pinglenook ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:40:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly any question in this thread depends on how old the kid was. If any of these were said by a two year old, you'd be like "wow you're a genius to be asking that at your age". For the sake of the thread, let's all assume that the kid OP is talking about was old enough to know better.
Larjersig18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit that they made 3 hours ago says that that kid was 15. o_o
meowmeowfuntime ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:46:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It always gets me that the sun is so much brighter in Scotland. Maybe because we don't see it much so when it comes out it's absolutely blinding.
uencos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:53:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because it's at a lower angle it shines right into your eyes
StraY_WolF ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:46:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on how old the kid is, I think it's kinda an interesting question. The one that leads to better understanding of the world around them.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:16:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
-Reddit_Account- ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:32:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no
TheLastHaggis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it because you're already sharing that cunt trump with us? He can take his golf course and fuck off if you want to give us more sun instead. Or not. He could just fuck off.
Avalire ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:52:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're gonna build a wall around the sun. And Scotland's going to pay for it.
TheVeryMask ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:31:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dyson Sphere^
2daMooon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on their age this could be incredibly stupid or incredibly insightful.
peacemaker2007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there's the Sun, the Sun on Sunday, the Herald Sun....
konaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They all hurt to look at.
pocket_full_of_sand ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:26:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't seem like a stupid question, depending on the age of the kid. The sun IS warmer in the US, and how would a kid know how many suns we do or don't have?
Orisara ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:46:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually the US is A LOT colder then the EU.
Scotland is obviously colder than California.
theodb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it? The average temperatures in the south US seem much hotter then the hottest areas of the EU.
Orisara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The South of the US is way more South than the Southern most point of Europe as well.
I'm talking about when talking about the same longitude.
Found a decent image
theodb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saying that the US is much colder than the EU is pretty misleading if you don't say the last part until in a different comment, especially considering in actual temperatures the US is definitely hotter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
San Francisco is the same latitude as Northern Japan (Misawa AFB) and they have very, very different climates. Northern Japan gets 200+ inches of snow a year whereas San Francisco gets fog.
The east and west coast of continents get wildly different weather.
Throdal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sun has its own temperature. The temperature on the earth surface might be different, but the sun wont give a shit about that. Brobably because it isn't sentient and literally could not even give one.
flowerynight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What world are all these commenters in where even young kids don't know there's only one sun?
DesignatedBlue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:10 on April 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's a stupid question. You don't have to be einstein to work out there's just one sun ...
pocket_full_of_sand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:14 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah Copernicus? If you were 5 and no one had ever explained it to you, you would have figured it out? Yeah right
nolooseends ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:33:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
apparently an american tourist couple demanded their money back, since the "midnight sun" (up north in Norway) was the same sun as in USA.
(Context: During the summer, the sun never goes down if you are far enough north. The opposite in the winter).
AcePlague ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, this is stupid depending on the age of the child. If its a 5 year old, then that completely legitimate question. If it's a 17 year old, I'd probably struggle to not lose my shit
drakeonaplane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:30:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old was the kid? That's a really good question for an elementary school student that hasn't studied much science yet.
MrX101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is that a stupid question, literally highly intelligent question if one has no astrology/climate science background
Mark_at_work ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:20:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*astronomy
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:23:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kid was 15
dokujaryu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is amazing. I want him on my team if I have to investigate a crime.
Acastil22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't isn't too much of a dumb question depending on how old they are. Funny still.
TheMaStif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Their stronger sense of Capitalism fuels their sun, and the warmth is from their Freedom, my child, now go back to tending to your potatoes
Connelly90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're more into cattle here...wait a minute; you getting wide?
alysia415 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When we had that "blood moon" a few months back, I (living in Nebraska) texted my less than smart younger sister (living in Michigan) to ask if her moon was doing the same "blood" thing as my moon. She was just in awe that our moons were somehow both "blood" at the same time because it just seemed so weird that it would happen like that. She's 22 years old.
After going on with this conversation for a while I finally started making fun of her and she had a "duh" moment that I was totally messing with her. She swears up and down she was drunk at the time and blames that......LIES!!
JMW007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have told him our sun is owned by Rupert Murdoch.
hoegaarden18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly off topic but also funny: Audience doesn't know moon orbits earth on who wants to be a millionaire and sewers this poor guy. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x11qhk_stupid-audience-on-french-millionai_fun
DustRainbow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the guy is asking about climate. It's not a dumb question.
helicopterfortress ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once told a Scottish girl I was from Canada. She had never heard of it. Asked if it was a state in the US...
sonny68 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That just sounds like they meant to ask "why is it so much warmer there vs here?" thats not too bad of a question. Just asked in a stupid way.
Mark_at_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd bet most college-educated adults don't know why the sun is warmer in some places than it is in others. If you didn't take an astronomy class, why would you?
chilari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer is "No, the Sun you see here in Scotland is a tabloid newspaper and it's much colder because it's written by people without warmth in their hearts. Don't touch it."
Connelly90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here here! Don't buy The Sun
PremierBromanov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A flat earther in the making.
Therandomfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they don't praise the sun.
PartiesLikeIts1999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... I think the stupidity of this question depends wholly on the age of the students and whether they should have been taught basic astronomy by that age...
lawrensaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Close enough. http://img.picturequotes.com/2/55/54281/just-remember-every-time-you-look-up-at-the-moon-i-too-will-be-looking-at-a-moon-not-the-same-moon-quote-1.jpg
tonyray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fair question
WHLSHRK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my physics class was learning about the speed of light and calculating how long it took for the Sun's light to reach Earth, one of my classmates was so taken aback that she asked,
"Wait, so can we even see the Sun from Earth?"
Lwaldie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I am in Scotland and I cannot see the sun..
christo334 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it not the same time. Ever heard about time cubed?
Bendaario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the age of the pupil, this one is not so unbelievable or stupid in my mind
Tidligare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
American turists have been known to walk into Norwegian turist information centres and demand their money back because the famous midnight sun is the same they see at home, according to Norwegian newspapers.
jamesmhall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, Scotland doesn't do much have a sun as it does have a floating table lamp.
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on age, that's not a stupid question.
Obviously if this was in college that kid needs to be sterilised.
ReverendDexter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's no sun, that's the Dragon of the North Sea!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, this kid clearly hasn't heard of Minnesota.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old were they?
Connelly90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About 15
4_jacks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because ours is better!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At 15, that child is Scottish. When they get older, get a PhD, and develop a cure for cancer, they will be British.
Mr_105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story, I was working in construction the past summer and a cousin from Mexico (a very rural part) asked a co-worker what time it was. The co-worker told him to use the sun to tell time, and my cousin replied "I don't know how to tell time with an American sun"
nearly_almost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very religious paternal grandmother believed that there was only one sun in the universe and that is why there can never be life on other planets. I stopped arguing with her around 13.
loverofaltmedicine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another super valid question
irseany ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine asked the same question a couple of years back, she was 22 at the time.
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because Scotland is essentially a ridge of mountains so high they stick up out of the turbulent cold windy North Atlantic
arturowise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can pupils even talk?
ManintheMT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my teacher in fourth grade, how come if California and Oklahoma are the same latitude that California is so much warmer? To this day I still don't know...
MYNEWMAIN_2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's warmer because we have more freedom so the sun loves us more.
Connelly90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, have you felt it colder this past week?
yamfood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question. What are you going to answer? Astronomy is not proven science, its completely speculative.
Connelly90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Straws...you're clutching at them to disagree
R1ckJamesBitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What an idiot, they didn't know Scotland's sun is closer to them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're using the word sun as an improper noun, so quit it with that capitalization.
ColdHandSandwich ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:18:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Ricky?
afihavok ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:46:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First part of the question...stupid. Second part (except for the "their" part)...not so stupid.
EDIT: What...is it not reasonable for someone to ask why certain parts of the world are warmer than others?
perceptivecheese ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:13:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fyi: it's cursory, not nursery.
Connelly90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*pre-school *Kindergarten *whatever you call it
FYI: In Scotland, we call it nursery
jennytopssky ยท 12096 points ยท Posted at 11:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach martial arts to little kids, I had a kid ask me if he could punch his mom now
Edit: you guys are great! Thank you for your funny replies, I'm having some good laughs! :D
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 6364 points ยท Posted at 11:32:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, can he?
jennytopssky ยท 8417 points ยท Posted at 11:40:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, his level of skill was not enough, she could easily dodge
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 4436 points ยท Posted at 11:42:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Needs more training, then.
VerbableNouns ยท 2144 points ยท Posted at 14:51:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet she couldn't dodge a...
BOOT TO THE HEAD!
GunNNife ยท 457 points ยท Posted at 14:56:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ed Gruberman, you have failed to grasp Ti Kwan Leep. Approach that you might see.
Edit: spelling
cadomski ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 15:46:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to start trashing bozos! I've got the pajamas for it.
arkansas_travler ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 15:05:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is wise not to tip the vessel of knowledge. (Yes, I've used that phrase in real life).
kwitcherbichen ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 15:37:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You too shall be honored to learn a lesson"
a running joke at a former workplace where smart people did a lot of dumb shit on a daily basis.
GunNNife ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:14:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always liked "yeah yeah yeah 'patience,' how long will that take"?
Dustin_00 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:42:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still say this about once a month.
Often with a microwave oven involved.
isperfectlycromulent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:19:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a single one of us could defeat you.
So we'll hafta gang up on ya! Get 'im guys!
Tichrimo ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:20:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I will have Rick Green (or is it Paul Chato) pretending to be a flamenco trumpet stuck in my head all day... And so will you
mtnbkrt22 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:00:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Not a single one of us can defeat you" "You gain wisdom child" "So we'll have to gang up on him. GET HIM GO!"
ChickenDinero ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:54:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who disturbs our meditation, as a pebble disturbs the stillness of a pond?
SillyFlyGuy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:00:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a skit I haven't heard in decades. How do I still remember it? Was it that good to have such a profound effect on me?
jldavidson321 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:43:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and one for Jenny and the wimp.
mrflippant ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:08:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chariots of Fire plays, slow-motion delivery of boot to heads ensues
w00tah ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:15:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ti Kwan Leap*
GunNNife ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:57:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just looked, and apparently it's actually "Ti Kwan Leep."
w00tah ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:58:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My one chance and I screw it up. I've brought shame on myself :(
srcarruth ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:16:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
boot to the head!
GunNNife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I screwed it up first. :P
w00tah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Yeah, but still, if I'm going to correct someone, it should be correct. :P
Angellotta ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:16:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... I thought it was just my family that quoted this. Internet, you have made me happy!
GunNNife ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:19:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there's one thing the Internet is good at, it's remembering pop culture references from the 80's. If there's two things the Internet is good at, it's remembering pop culture references from the 80's, and porn.
Nerdwiththehat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:45:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, SHRIMP!
slurp_derp2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reference ?
HelveticaBOLD ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:58:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'80s Canadian sketch comedy troupe The Frantics, doing their classic Tae Kwan Leep sketch.
GunNNife ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:55:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8VD4JXUozM
Here ya go.
Waldopemersonjones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People talking in movie shows
Schweiner ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:43:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" "You missed"
GunNNife ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:01:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh yeah. Well you don't have to you know, I have to get going--
Lemon1412 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 14:57:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And one for Jenny and the wimp.
JimmyLegs50 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:06:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BOOT Ow! BOOT Hey!
w00tah ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:16:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well what flavor is it?
monkeynaleo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:09:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boot to the head!
xandercusa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:26:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And another for Jenny and the wimp
ThompsonBoy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:45:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe I'm seeing a Four on the Floor reference on Reddit.
Mr-Canoehead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I miss that show.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfMcxmOBmpk
eyes_are_grey ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:15:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rick Green was one of my instructors in college. I was SUPER into Dr. Demento in high school, so I knew all about Ti Kwan Leap/Boot To The Head. I was crazy psyched to meet THE Ed Gruberman.
Than he said he was on something called The Red Green Show and everyone in class went apeshit.
I'm American. I went to school in Canada. Boot to the head > Red Green
velvet42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:04:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. I've also been into Dr. Demento since high school, bought the 20th anniversary cd's at that time. My friends and I would always quote Ti Kwan Leep. I also love Red Green and have been watching him for years (actually caught his last two live shows on tour in my city) and I never knew this. This is awesome, thank you for pointing it out!
Lord_Rapunzel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:03:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Red Green is phenomenal, shut the fuck up.
eyes_are_grey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:13:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't misunderstand me. Since living in Canada, I've come to appreciate Red Green. I just prefer any iteration of Boot to the Head.
stevoblunt83 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:46:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry man, Red Green > most things.
funnybonzo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:57:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And remember: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."
AvsJoe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:01:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keep your stick on the ice.
mordsithdee ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 15:41:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL! I haven't heard this reference in years!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo (Boot to the Head sketch, but using Phoenix Wright video game.)
Ilejwads ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:23:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I legit love that one more than the original. My girlfriend and I still shout BOOT TO THE HEAD occasionally at each other because of it
mordsithdee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:D Us too!
I also love another video game adaption...from Avenue Q The Internet is for Porn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1hL_9jiWWY
pm_me_hedgehogs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:05:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, we like an Avenue Q adaption too! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUj_uCxhR5U
Also this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmv5_h_xUOA
mordsithdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love it!
How about...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pSZ4qeLEgs
pm_me_hedgehogs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Says the video is not available for me :(
mordsithdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's weird...I double checked and it works for me. Maybe it's a reigon thing.
It is an animation of Incinerator and Primarina dueling Anything You Can Do
pm_me_hedgehogs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it worked for me on my laptop! It wasn't working on my phone earlier. Cute animation :)
mordsithdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
NonaSuomi282 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of Avenue Q, personally my favorite PW sketch has got to be the one with hand-drawn images for Schadenfreude.
mordsithdee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome! I saw an off Broadway production of Avenue Q and it was SO worth it. I hope to see it on the big stage one day though.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, local community theater is where I first saw it in person too, it was pretty good all things considered. Really fun show.
mordsithdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
NonaSuomi282 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, love the username. Not a huge fan of the preachy direction things went in the middle-and-later books, but I will always have a soft spot for the series as a whole.
mordsithdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:D That's 2 people today that have recognized my username. So cool when that happens.
Yea, I get the loss of interest. My SO says (though I have yet to confirm a source on this) that the middle books is when he started using ghost writers and handing the plots off to other writers.
I stuck with it throughout, and I liked where it went mostly, but I have to wonder how epic the series would have become if Goodkind had written it all.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's not ghostwriters so much since the stuff I'm talking about is very much Terry's own views (going off how he responded in various interviews, his multiple AMAs, etc.) it's just the super-preachy Randian crap that rubs me the wrong way. Like, in almost all of the later books there's some point towards the middle or end where Richard goes off on some blowhard speech about the evils of socialism or the virtues of capitalism, and it goes on for pages and pages and it's just such utter tripe. I don't mind that the overall setting and whatnot is a tad derivative because the unique aspects of it all and how it comes together are great IMO, but I really have to force myself to power through when I reach that point in each book. It made Faith of the Fallen particularly hard to finish, considering that's basically all there was to the entire thing...
mordsithdee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see what you mean, but Faith of the Fallen is a little of an unfair example because Richard was trying to teach a people who were so oppressed they refused to do the simplest things for themselves (ie fixing a simple staircase).
But yes he did get rather repetitive with that shpeal. :)
NonaSuomi282 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With Faith, my issue was more that the entire thing was a feature-length strawman argument. I mean, I get that it's his world and his characters, so he's free to write them as stupid and helpless as he likes, but it was so unrealistic and obviously pandering to his own ideals that it was almost insultingly transparent. Come to think of it, Goodkind isn't really great at that- most of his antagonists, or really anyone who disagrees with Richard comes off as cartoonishly stupid for no real reason beyond hammering home the whole "objectivism is good, everyone else is poopyheads!" crap that Terry just can't seem to let go of. It's just so contrived that it wears thin after a while, y'know?
mordsithdee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I get that.
I think he had written the extreme the other way (Emperor Kusco...I mean Jagjang LoL) that Richard had to be so extreme in the other way that it got annoying.
I think that's why I loved the Mord Sith characters so much. He had ordered their uniforms and agils destroyed, but they saw that this order contradicted Richard as a ruler so they ignored.
I freaking love Mord Sith :)
NonaSuomi282 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, I liked that they had such nuance, being that their profession was pretty objectively evil, yet they managed to be a force for good. As a rule, I think he did pretty well when he wrote more gray and ambiguous characters, which is why my personal favorite "villain" as such would easily be Shota.
mordsithdee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love Shota too.
I was kinda looking forward to her plot of coming after them to kill their son, but it never happened. I thought there might be a twist with Kahlan's miscarriage (much like Cu Challiu beuing Richard's 'wife').
The 'gray' characters are his best, I agree :)
pm_me_hedgehogs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found you in the wild!
ah what, I was gonna mention this to you but I see you beat me to it!
random_boss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's uh...that's not actually what's being referenced here. But this is a neat sketch too!
mordsithdee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! It seemed such an obscure reference I just assumed there was only one. LoL :)
verdouxkai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gosh I haven't heard those skits in forever! Lol, thanks for sharing!
mordsithdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
verdouxkai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh and now I just noticed your username, hehe! Nice.
mordsithdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:D Most people don't get the reference!
Are you a sister of the agiel as well ;)
verdouxkai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:02 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hehe, Master Rahl guide us...
mordsithdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:58 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Master Rahl teach us...
xandercusa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How predictable...
mordsithdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And one for Jenny and the wimp!
Nodnarb1992 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:12:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naa Naa boot to the head, Naa naa, boot to the head, naa naa, give him a boot to the head
rocketman0739 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:52:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yi, yi
tehweave ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:07:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...and one more for Jenny and the wimp.
TychaBrahe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And one more for Jenny and the Wimp.
formlessfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His mom was George W Bush. Footwear isn't goin to help you here.
BigMike203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In college... lol'd in class
PyroSkink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a boot.
Throw a wrench at her to find out.
RealSteele ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Honestly, who throws a shoe?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If she can dodge a wrench...
ballzinharambe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball
thing24life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh My God!!!!!! I just saw this recently for the first time at work. My supervisor showed me. XD
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And one for Jenny and the wimp!
rezachi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can she dodge a wrench?
amusingmistress ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah Nah
Boilem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is one old ass reference, my god.
Nerdwiththehat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mother of god, reddit, why do you have to go around pulling up things I haven't referenced since sixth fucking grade, man!
colejosephhammers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easy now, Zenyatta
hardly-workin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No she can't she couldn't even dodge a wrench.
Lawnsausagesandmash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KICK TO THE GROIN.. Then smash face into table 10 times or something.
Android8675 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for starting this. Totally made my morning.
lordunholy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hoooooly shit I haven't heard this in years.
LurkerTroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
POCKET SAND!
Bodgie7878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AND YOU'RE TOO LATE, YOU GIVE KARATE, A BAD NAME!
Jackboo35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, ain't that a kick in the head
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh god, she moves like the President!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
frum-THUNK
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ha, me and my wife were once babysitting for our cousin, about six years old at the time. we were reading him bedtime stories, and after one, he sits up and says, "cool, and now is the time for me to....
punch you both in the head!!"
and he lands a perfect simultaneous double punch, one fist in each of our foreheads.
it worked so well he even surprised himself, and probably thought he was going to get in trouble. we were so shocked we just busted up laughing, though.
he's a teenager now, but to this day, we'll sometimes repeat that to him.
basiamille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that catchphrase from?
I_AMA_Alien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Swift kick to the chin.
RadarDash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/vFldBVWFgWo
Balthusdire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH MAN IT HAS BEEN SO LONG! Thanks for reminding me of this.
MrsMonitorMoniker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the nostalgia that hurts!
T_ball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frantic!
TheHeroHartmut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so predictable.
Cavewoman22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it!"
YourMotherSaysHello ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:08:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
REX QUON DOOOO!!
ElBrad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:17:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For Science!
...and non-Canadians.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8VD4JXUozM
J0RDM0N ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:21:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To my cat mittens, the only source of love and enjoyment in my life, I bequeath a boot to the head.
lolthrash ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:25:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
settle down Joe Davola
Rocket240 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:30:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a boot, you can dodge a ball.
ornangejuice ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:35:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who throws a shoe? honesly?
Trexus183 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:47:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PEREGRINE GREEEEEAAAAAAVES!
Lost-My-Mind- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:48:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, who throws a shoe?
Aspergers1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet she couldn't dodge a...
10 GUAGE TO THE FACE!!!
my_gamertag_wastaken ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:49:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU RACK DISCIPRINE!
TeHNeutral ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:59:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You rack the disaprin
Forest-G-Nome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
racks disciprine.
Gilgamore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You haven't taught him the ultimate punch, there's no way he's ready.
Valkyrie21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kick, punch, kick?
ze_ex_21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the words of one of the most underrated martial arts Masters:
"Kick - Punch - It's all in your mind"
TheLumAndOnly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:51 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me know when he should rest and meditate on what he's learned
128Gigabytes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes more training we wouldn't want him to accidently break his arms with his mom.
Who-Dey88 ยท 446 points ยท Posted at 13:33:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DOOOOODDGGGEE!
JollyGrain ยท 257 points ยท Posted at 13:42:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DAMN YOU PAVLOV!!
himo2785 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 14:31:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"WHY IS DODGING A SUB ROUTINE? ITS NOT EVEN THAT COMPLEX!"
Edit: Corrected the quote... Almost.
CerinDeVane ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:15:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who might disagree.
average_redditor_guy ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:11:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why...can't.. you.. DOOOOODDDGGGGEE?
Vivirmos ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:26:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there's always the TFS comment thread lurking somewhere in these, i love it
average_redditor_guy ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:37:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They will never not make me crack up.
Vivirmos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
indeed, the one i found the other day was a reference to super kami guru
himo2785 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean super ULTRA kami Guru.
Kingbow13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:05:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CLIMB DOOOOOOWN
SerNapalm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Call me super kami guru
himo2785 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:26:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The actual quote was "WHY IS DODGING A SUB ROUTINE? ITS NOT THAT COMPLEX!" Ep. 36, 1:45.
Edit: Corrected quote.
CerinDeVane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:39:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was just referencing the running gag in general, but that is a particularly enjoyable instance of it. Have an orange arrow.
dacookeymonsta ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:11:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So Gohan, Piccolo tells me you've been having some difficulty in a certain area...
brenster23 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:21:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am teach you how to dodge
PM_ME_AMAZON_VOUCHER ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:21:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pavlovs doge
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:49:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beat me to it
ChocPineapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got this.
Rustlingleaves1 ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 14:07:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dodge, duck, dip, dive... and dodge!
vegeta8300 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:46:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!
IAmNotStelio ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:40:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge moving traffic, you can dodge a dodgeball.
ConspiracyVictim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a 5 year old karate students fist, you can dodge a ball.
CoKaner88 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:17:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NEERRRRRDDDDDDDD
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:24:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CLIMB DOWN
brenster23 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:21:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had some sticks maybe I could build a ladder.
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:25:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CLIMB DOWN
IDreamOfAnarchy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username
StrudelB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FLY UP
MorphingShadows ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:36:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NEEEEERRRD!
dies
you_got_fragged ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CHARRRGEERR
drewhak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DOOOOOOOODGGEEEEE! Didn't Dodge
ginger_vampire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:36:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is dodging a subroutine? It's not that complex!
Scarletfapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get in the first shot
seelentau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually wouldn't have understood that yesterday.
DOOOODGE!
scpace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dip, dive, duck and DOODDDGGGEEE
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is looking at the lake
artyboi37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her reflexes are too fast!
drhotloving ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You will bring your mother to justice soon young grasshopper
soursh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
New players usually don't know about stats like hit chance, parry, and dodge. I'd bet her strength and hit points were a lot higher than his too.
Noclue55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
her Kung Fu was too powerful
leavingbellevegas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone rich gild this
jennytopssky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for wishing me gold :)
eaglemoses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDl64zyiEPE
Dude tries to beat up his own mom for street cred with his pathetic "gang" but Momma's not having that...
SmartAlec105 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant SMBC.
--AXIOM-- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Foe Smol Kid used punch!
Mom evaded the attack!
Mom used Counting to Three!
It's super effective!
Foe Smol Kid Fainted!
"Waaahhhh!"
Trainer received 300 pokรฉ for winning!
how_can_she_slap__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've failed him, Jenny. :(
Camwood7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kick, punch, it's all in the mind!
omart3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She could also break his arms.
SerNapalm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Id let his mom break my arms
GoT_DeftClaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a kid
slurp_derp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was there a training montage to prepare against mom ?
Tylerh1011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball
Nubrication ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!
MasterBaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mom must have really good Dex.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 D's of martial arts: Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.
TheOldGuy59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a wrench...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many are trained in the art of Dodge, Dip, Dive, Duck, Dodge.
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been trying to get my girlfriend to let me practice triangle chokes on her but she's having none of it. The cruel irony is I'm not yet good enough to just attack her with them anyway.
Why is life so hard?
jmdavis333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge an 8 year olds fist, then you can dodge a ball!
Centurion00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She would break both his arms most likely.
ZaydSophos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most moms have like 0 evasion though.
Source: was kid.
ZaydSophos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most moms have like 0 evasion though.
Source: was kid.
pettercottonmouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not the age, it's the skill level!
Dildo_Shwaggins100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he lrack disaprin
nclsmrn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kid just needs to git guddddd
olivecrayon87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if she was 800lbs.
Assdolf_Shitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kid's dad must be a black belt then...
Hickorywhat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:38:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CHILD tries Quick Jab!
MOM dodges!
MOM tries Grounding!
IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!
CobraCabana ยท 135 points ยท Posted at 13:49:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The power was in him all along. He just lacked the confidence.
ssyykkiiee ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:43:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He rack disciprine.
ShadowBlossom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe both his arms were broken?
GhostOfSaturn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liked for the username haha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he did, his dad would beat the shit out of him with jumper cables.
Shackmeoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently you can in Russia.
MaverickN21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be YEARS before he can stand in her way!
EpicThunda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a child, he still has negative modifiers to his strength score. Because of this, he would need to roll at least an 18 to hit.
everlastingSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, he is physically capable. Whether that's a good idea or not is an entirely different story... (Spoilers, violence is never a good idea)
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ajbpresidente ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "every fucking thread" comment
spitfire9107 ยท 881 points ยท Posted at 12:39:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watch a ton of mma and when I started I asked tons of dumb questions on /r/mma such as "how much training do I need to beat Kazushi Sakuraba " (I am an asian male and Sakuraba is the best asian fighter).
Chengweiyingji ยท 413 points ยท Posted at 13:03:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, how much?
boostofrace ยท 1075 points ยท Posted at 13:09:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A couple million probably. Best just take up vaping.
Alyex227 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 14:59:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A couple million training comin' right up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
{-}7
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:02:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How skilled at MMA will I get if I take up vaping?
boostofrace ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Andan11 uses vape cloud opponent is dazed
boostofrace ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:50:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McGregor uses superman punch ends up with opponent's dick in hand
parkern342 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me ya belt! Hefefeftfefefef
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we not make this a porno I am already horny enough.
boostofrace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhhh I'm not white enough to star McGregor
LadOkapi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he wants to fight in MMA, not watch it.
blunt_toward_enemy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even cheaper to just buy a tapout shirt.
obitrice-kanobi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LPT: While Asian and vaping, you must own a Subaru
dueljester ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:21:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slow down there Joe Rogan, not everyone has to vape.
MusicHearted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You see, that's where you're mistaken..
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dagonn3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So is your comment.
boostofrace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo I heard you like lpt so I put a lpt in your lpt so that you can lpt
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While you what?
Sarare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh way too hard.
Prison_Vape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way ahead of you
PM_ME_DANK_MEMESS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
at least over 9000
Tempest_1 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:02:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We get it... you vape...
ShaynePC ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 14:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He just needs to do 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and 10K running for every single day!
kung-fu_hippy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:47:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And remember to not use the AC!
Chengweiyingji ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT JUICE DID HE DRINK?!
demarderollins ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:21:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sakuraba at 80 would still destroy most people.
smpsnfn13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:20:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah Sakuraba "The Gracie Hunter" is a beast. Put dude in a standing Kimura one time, and just popped his shoulder out like it wasn't nothing.
Working_Lurking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I can hear better than he can.
demarderollins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he wouldn't hear your screams but you would.
Shabbypenguin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:21:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hundreds of pushups in 100x earths gravity.
Meih_Notyou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least 12.
dont_worryaboutit139 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seventeen
TOASTEngineer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, presumably he's still training himself, so probably you'd never catch up.
post_singularity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9000
squintina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Over 9000
Shumatsuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a little medical training and the right amount of chemicals to make him useless in a fight.
Chengweiyingji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:57 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa who said Bill Cosby was on your team
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:16:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was the best asian fighter like two decades ago.
Signager ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:13:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's easy; just do 100 Push-Ups, 100 Sit-Ups 100 Squats and run 10 km.
smallof2pieces ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:34:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite video is when Kazushi Sakuraba beats the then-unbeatable Royce Gracie. This was back in college so it was about 10 years ago or more now, but I remember the highlight clip had Foo Fighter's Learn to Fly playing in the background. That song still gets me pumped because of that!
rambouhh ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:21:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might make you feel old but Sakuraba beat Royce almost 17 years ago now.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:18:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He then procedes to beat the rest of his family giving him the nickname the Gracie hunter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learn to Fly? That's the most vanilla song I can possibly imagine. Learn to Fly couldn't pump up a puppy on meth.
smallof2pieces ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:46:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Denim_cutoffs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:27:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a funny way of spelling Doo Ho Choi.
boredHunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Korean Zombie or horiguchi (p4p obviously)
YourMotherSaysHello ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:10:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All good, but do they have the bronze abs of Sexyama?
lutgholein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize Bruce Lee had that many nicknames.
ThePu55yDestr0yr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Punch a sandbag 1 million times, then when you're done, start kicking it 1 million times.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y you wanna do this? Please don't give Sakuraba anymore brain damage :(
smpsnfn13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about The Korean Zombie Chan Sung Jung. He is a beast first person to win in the UFC with a Twister submission. Not better than Sakuraba, but Asia has a lot of talent at lighter weights.
PotatoPlata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
everyone forgetting about Aoki =/
smpsnfn13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is true, a lot of Pride fighters have been lost in the wind. Which is a shame, but they are a little old now. Shinya Aoki Jiu-Jitsu is to cold though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A couple years where it's literally all you do everyday. What holds back practitioners is time. The pros do it all day long but the rest of us have jobs or go to school. So we can't train 6 hours a day. If I could that would be fantastic.
brenster23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
None, just don't miss your first shot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't push it, chief.
ta162001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your last name Gracie?
No.
...step into the dojo.
AGrimGrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could just ask Gedo to book it so.
zombizle1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he's not the best asian fighter any more
ratracing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of sad but you could probably beat Saku with like 2 years of training at this point.
TheMmaMagician ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean he's a legend, but there are Asian fighters who are much more talented than he is/was.
The_cake_is_real ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were you going to complete that sentence?
Da2Shae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just tell them that If they're aiming to be the best, to afford the best or do the best at anything you shouldn't have to ask about costs. Something that is top of the line requires a ton of effort anyway so there's no point in asking "how much?"
TobyQueef69 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught a 5 year old jiujitsu one time and I asked him how long he had done it, I was expecting him to give me a basic answer like "A few times" or something. When I asked he kind of pondered for a second and just went "Hmm, about a thousand years" pretty nonchalantly and continued with the lesson.
torgospizzadelivery ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, you've met the Avatar
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:15:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little scamp wanted to be just like his good ol' dad. Brings a tear to the eye, it does
guardian1691 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he asked first. I've seen kids get off the mat and immediately start practicing.
Full disclosure, first time I learned a wrist lock I ran up to my mom, told her I learned something cool, then did it to her.
Commodorez ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:55:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just brought back memories when my uncle was picking me up from Kung Fu and asked what I learned, so I just punched him in the groin as hard as I could.
Doctor_of_Recreation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐๐
"Hey, Mom!!"
Adog311 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:52:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While you slept, mother, I studied the blade.
zeajsbb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:23:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience as a mother of a little boy I got punched, kicked, and then head butted as a form of hello for a solid year. What's all the asking about?
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My niece is basically a whirlwind of chaos and carnage. To this day she has inflicted every type of physical pain possible.
Chichimonn ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:29:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So do I! My favorite question (kind of a classic) is when you get that one kid:
Kid: Why don't I just do this?
Flails wildly and accidentally hits self
Oww!
Me: That's why...
jennytopssky ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:36:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's always that one that thinks it's a good idea to add a jump to every movement
ThirdProcess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I learned that lesson by getting straightened out... Parallel to floor... About 4 feet up. I had time to watch the ceiling get smaller before the whump.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:50:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was his whole reason for training. He needs to get strong enough to defeat his mother in an honorable match to gain control of the household. In old country, this is the way a boy becomes a man.
W-I-L-F-R-E-D ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe his mom was abusive and he wanted to defend himself.
Picklwarrior ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:55:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it. Kids are silly and physically abusive parents typically don't pay for (likely very expensive) martial arts classes
source: Also a martial arts instructor and member of a therapeutic adoptive home for traumatized children
ZaydSophos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:31:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid who wanted to get stronger to avoid kids and adults hurting me, can confirm that bad parents generally don't send their kids to martial arts classes.
housewifeonfridays ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:25:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abuse can happen no matter the income. Don't be biased when looking for the signs.
Picklwarrior ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:57:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it can, but what was given is not a sign.
toms_face ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:36:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just some classist bullshit that is completely inaccurate.
Picklwarrior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying it doesn't happen, in fact I've seen it. But going off what OP said, it's pretty unlikely. Don't look for things to get upset about.
toms_face ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:28:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are flat out changing the subject now, but I will assume that you thought I was the person you were responding to. I assume so in good faith that you did not mean to mischaracterise me. What you said was inaccurate, and I said so.
Doctor_of_Recreation ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:01:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I, as mom, joined the adult class the same time my son joined the peewee class. ๐
(Danzan Ryu jujitsu here -- thanks for teaching kids your craft!!)
ThirdProcess ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:07:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stragedy!
HutSutRawlson ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:58:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you see, Little Timmy? The ability to punch your mom was always inside you.
thedarkestone1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:49:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason this reminded me of that episode of Spongebob where Patrick learns he can do a perfect karate chop, and then spends the episode destroying everything with his "perfect chop".
MnBran6 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:09:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that one of the new ones? Sounds like the one where spongebob and sandy are doing karate all day and krabs doesn't like it
thedarkestone1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's newer, I think from a few years ago though, probably early 2010s somewhere. It's a similar premise except with Patrick basically where he starts chopping everything and then can't get himself to stop.
mistermatth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:21:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the least stupid question on here
OriginsOfSymmetry ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:31:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of Hot Rod, kid just wants to kick his mom's ass.
VY_Cannabis_Majoris ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:48:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Layherup ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 14:04:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a dumb question, that's a cry for help.
Edit: Issa Joke
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 14:45:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids "hate" their parents all the time
sweetgreggo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I hit mom like daddy does?"
ZaydSophos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I legitimately thought this too. Part of why I wanted to get stronger as a kid was to prevent my parents from hurting me if they were upset at me. It's not at all farfetched.
abtseventynine ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid being little shit doesn't exist, only abusive parents DUH
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude he was making a joke holy shit
HolyCloudNinja ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:00:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure who you're replying to meant to have one of these -> /s
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ok
ShittyDuckFace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amy, must I ju-jitsu my ma?
Fumblerful- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you teach? I am an assistant teacher in training and could use some tips.
jennytopssky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My style or the way I teach? Biggest tip I can give: don't try to treat them like adults, they'll lose balance, try to play, be noisy. Don't focus on the martial art itself, the movements, focus on the spirit of your martial art, help them grow up as better human beings. After a while, focus on techniques, but not at first :)
Fumblerful- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!!!!! I am not a noisy person normally. I will work on that.
Also, what martial art do you do? Karate, kung fu, ju jitsu?
jennytopssky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach kung fu and kenpo :)
Fumblerful- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach Kung Fu as well. Northern Eagle Claw
jennytopssky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pretty flexible style, great for kids, I'm sure they have fun
Fumblerful- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just wish they would focus more. But, using your advice seems like I can get them to focus more. thanks for that.
jennytopssky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem. Feel free to PM me if you want to walk about your training
Fumblerful- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
Rcp_43b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well maybe she deserved it for forcing him to eat all that broccoli.
NiceSasquatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, kid. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.
SquigglyinEye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mind immediately jumped to Bobby Hill for some reason. https://youtu.be/1u4oXXL1a5A
linuxphoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My three year old daughter sometimes asks if she can fight her mommy (I have trained in martial arts for many years and sometimes she likes to train with me) and I make sure to tell her that we only fight our friends when they agree to it. Mommy has not been punched yet, but she did take a foam spear to the leg.
babystripper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I miss that line of work
ThisMeansWarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THATS MY PURSE I DON'T KNOW YOU
EarthsFinePrint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can dodge a wrench, you can punch your mom.
g_squidman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have more of these? I remember some crazy kids from when I took martial arts, so I bet you have some stories.
turbdnytro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds a like someone needs a some a discaprine.
the3sullys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sweep the leg, no mercy!"
TheMigDig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweep the leg.
PatrollinTheMojave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DOOOOOOOOOODGE!
Lastshadow94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda the reverse of the question, but my dad and I teach together and one time he told a kid that we train barefoot because sometimes we kick so fast that our feet catch fire. The kid got really wide-eyed and then whispered "that would be cool"
Luxtaposition ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Break the wrist and walk away" - Rex
yaosio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twist: He was asking because she punches him a lot.
swurmp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MAN I'm a karate teacher, and we've got these metal poles in the middle of the floor. We're playing a game, and a kid gets out and goes to sit down. He walks behind me and I hear this loud BANG, and I see him grabbing his head. He walked up and smashed his head into the pole on purpose, and then bragged about it for a week
tonyray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a question that man has contemplated for some time.
Anubiska ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess he wasn't happy about having a little brother and wanted to learn the nephelim abortion punch.
gramie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I asked my son (about 9 years old at the time) why he wanted to take karate, he said, "so I can take you down!"
RexDraco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer is to be sure to ask for his father's permission.
JacobPariseau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Could you go back in time and kill your mother before you were born?"
"No. Her kung fu is too powerful."
chokewanka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid: Now I can defend myself.
Instructor: Yes, my boy.
Kid: ...And beat thugs.
Instructor: Well, yeah I think.
Kid: ...And punch my mom.
Instructor: No, no, that's not the idea.
Kid: And kick my dad out the house.
Instructor: Please stop.
Kid: And kill my sister.
Instructor: Oh my god.
SalsaRice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha same here, used to teach from age 5 to adult classes for a while.
Had to have a stern talking to because one really small kid beat up someone in kindergarten. His side kick was surprisingly solid, for the terrible coordination they have at that age.
Garchomp99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've taught kids martial arts before, and some of the shit they'd say was hysterical.
Kmasselin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's his mom's armor class?
inthrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"WHY DID YOU SAY MY SON COULD PUNCH ME?"
"I thought it was a great opportunity to teach him the difference between 'Can I' and 'May I'."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just be sure not to teach him the the five point palm- exploding heart technique.
Jeff-FaFa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he went straight home and told his mom to cash him ousside.
Planeguy22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The number of kids that come in to the school I teach at that don't understand that what they're learning can very easily hurt someone very badly is astounding. I've had several kids literally come up to me and kick me in the groin (only took one to convince me to ignore the discomfort and wear a cup), not understanding that it FUCKING HURTS. Among the various other instructors at our school, we've decided that kids are complete idiots. The questions they ask are the stupidest things too.
Not_Just_Any_Lurker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if she can meet him in the parking lot, how bow dah?
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any pizza is a personal pan if you're determined enough. You just have to believe in yourself. I'm not telling you who to punch, you can punch anyone if you have enough willpower.
Efajigaloop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, he could punch her, but he'd probably end up with two broken arms
loopywolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, not until she comes to pick you up
King_Fuckface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took Tae Kwon Do and asked my instructor if he had "ever done a Form on somebody." I was 7, but I still cringe. Especially because it was a multi-level class (many different colored belts in the same room) so there were a bunch of adults in there.
jennytopssky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, forms are simulated fights, those moves could be used against various opponents. It's not a bad question
King_Fuckface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OKAY. I thought it wasn't! But then the instructor sort of acted out chasing around a dodging opponent...
keypadwarrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still cant cash/catch her outside? Aaah damnn! How bout dah!
sinbushar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this originally as marital arts.
PM_ME_YR_PUFFYNIPS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did you tell the mom? Must have been a funny convo.
denali42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Ed... Ed Gruberman?
EMAW2008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about sweeping the leg?
manug102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I read that as marital arts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Karate!
Neknoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. I do to!
My favourites are the "but what if they..." questions. Like... we're not training that now, we're training this. Or I'll just show them something super easy or waaaaaaaay more advanced. Or if they ask me whilst they're training with eachother, I'll step in and they get to try. Usually the technique itself does stop a lot of the what-ifs when done properly (tho not excessively since, well, kids).
However. Best one:
When do we learn to shoot fireballs?
It was real and oh so sweet. Almost broke my heart to tell him that we're not streetfighter. Then, to make up for the dashed dreams, I threw the other trainer in a really high, spectacular fashion, and I re-sold martial arts to the kid ^
semysane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What belt do I need to get before I can do a kamehameha?
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 14:42:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No wonder a boy would ask such a thing, when they are exposed to violent movies and video-games all the time. Violent movies and video-games activates male instinct making them commit violence and rape.
Johnsmitish ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:50:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 90 percent sure, but I have to ask. This is /s right?
ThalanirIII ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:56:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll account with -100 karma, and that username...
LeftRat ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 18:14:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is from before I was a teacher - I gave private lessons.
A student who's generally smart, but lacks a lot of general knowledge, especially history and politics. Hitler comes up in an explanation.
"Hitler?"
"Yeah. You know who Hitler is, right?"
"Isn't... that the guy the jews worship?"
Bonus points: we're German
forerunner398 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard Germany tends to censor lots of Nazi related media, even fictional and historical content. Maybe that is why he did not know? I could be wrong though.
LeftRat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:57:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's sort of a misconception. Swastikas, the Hitler salute and stuff like that are expressively allowed in history, education and art (including movies, books, pictures - everything, except videogames unfortunately, since they aren't officially art yet): Germany doesn't want to prevent people from learning about it (to the contrary, education focuses heavily on that period of history), it just wants to prevent glorifying it in any way.
forerunner398 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. This makes a lot more sense.
scorpzrage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:12 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just in case you're interested in that sort of thing, in my 13 school years in Austria, about two to three whole semesters of History class covered that time period, with the focus generally on the rise of Hitler and the Nazis, as well as (naturally) the Anschluss. Other points that were covered exhaustively were the propaganda system and how especially the youth was groomed and indoctrinated.
Also, when it was about the time of WW2 itself, the main focus tended to be on concentration camps and other war crimes, as well as the continued propaganda methods and the inclusion of civilians into the war effort ("Totaler Krieg") rather than the battles.
Actually, visiting a concentration camp is pretty much the classic History excursion over here.
The origins of that whole tragedy are really stressed in education. Sadly though, it seems that a terrifying number of people here didn't really learn anything worthwhile from that.
olig1905 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:19:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait... what??
JustZoni ยท 14557 points ยท Posted at 12:04:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Private writing instructor. A couple of years ago, I had a student ask me if commas were real or imaginary. He was equally dubious about semicolons, which he referred to as "imitation periods."
(Since people have asked, he was 26 and very serious. Edited for clarity.)
Homerpaintbucket ยท 9826 points ยท Posted at 14:28:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took English at a local community college. One night while the class was working on something and the teacher was reading over everyone's assignments from the night before she stopped the class and said the following sentence. "Guys, under no circumstances should a comma come in the middle of a word. I've seen several of you do this and I have no idea why." It was honestly pretty hard not to laugh.
Housetoo ยท 3206 points ยท Posted at 14:57:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mixing up , and ' perhaps?
[deleted] ยท 10632 points ยท Posted at 15:17:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SomeCoffeeInMyCream ยท 3343 points ยท Posted at 15:31:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May,be fuck y'self.
cuteintern ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 16:01:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How,s you,re m'om?
[deleted] ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 16:17:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go'od, shes tir'd f'rom fuck'in m'y fah't'ha
nyyankees2085 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:23:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feds are like mushrooms. Feed em shit and keep em in the daahhk
Bradp13 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:45:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck I love The Departed.
theonewhomknocks ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:08:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally_a_Banana ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:58:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because here... IN THIS COUNTRY...
waste-case-canadian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's on right now. I'm pumped
Hazbro29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn,t realis'e u,r dad wa,s fro'm Bosto,n
Dreamcast3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
t'h'ats so'me-what, un'fortun,ate;
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cash me ouside how bou da?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:36:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
m'fuckyaself
xGareBear ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:35:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'ay,be it,s m'abeline!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I,m n'a'ht ,aw co'wa'p
Huwbacca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck thineself also Chaucer.
NapClub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
se;eems le:git
itachifan035 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:33:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May,be it,s Maybel'line
TheOtherCoenBrother ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, I'm the guy doing his fucking job. You must be the other guy.
imadamb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, you're obviously Beetlejuice from the Stern show
gahgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ar,goยฟ
Nutcrackaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Howbou dat?
MajesticCumfart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ca,sh me ousside, how b'ou dat
poopmeister1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May,be cash me ou,side?
KhabaLox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're the redditor that doesn't get gold. I must be the other guy.
teddim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,lady.
doorkn00b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,lady
Ianl951 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you cockney bastard
ReltivlyObjectv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
catch me outside how bow dah
PM_ME_BOOB_PICTURES_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:02 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'e lady
Subby541 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:08 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/lTaVxTmB5k4?t=41
Farghobbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'fuck, g,d sir
xwithnumbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5,7
OhShitACrab ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This deserves the gold.
vorin ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 15:27:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mayben't*
apostrophes take the place of the missin' character' you d;mwit.
stokelydokely ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 15:34:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guys, under no circumstances should an imitation period come in the middle of a word
rawbdor ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
semiculins are so dumb.
EDIT: sorry, the only reason i say this is that this semiculin in this comment is trying to be in the middle of a word. i should say that this one particular semiculin is dumb.
EDIT: hey asshats quit downvoting me i am not the one who put a semiculin in the middle of a word
EDIT: hey before you hit that down arrow why don't you ask yourself why you can't take a joke you losers. jesus the pc crap has extended to long periods? because that is all those things are, and no one was bawling when that OP got downvoted for misspelling words. so are you racist for long periods over spelling? hippocrites.
EDIT: is it a bunch of grammar nazi lamebrains doing this? did my one little joke hit some kind of linguist blog or some shit? i have never so much as even misused a semiculin! wtf? i used an interrobang one time, it was in a sentence fragment; i had a comma, and something they told me was umlaut but i'm positive it was just an accent mark. whatever anyone is saying about me and semiculins is not even true. but go on farteaters, downvote away. it shows how stupid you are.
EDIT: spelling.
EDIT: this is such shit. i have never received as much as one single downvote in my life and you peckers are jumping on this stupid semiculin-loving bandwagon. that is a dumb goddamn long period in the middle of a word and that is all. i'm not going to apologize to you idiots any more.
EDIT: you know, now my feelings are hurt. the amount of downvotes piled on me is just excessive. god for-fucking-bid i had commented on a post about an exclammation point, i would be at -1000 by now. you people are horrible.
tastar1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just stop.
Raptorclaw621 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was unexpected; I enjoyed that at least.
DemiGod9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You went for it with all you've got; ultimately you came up short
rawbdor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
stupid long horses
chalks777 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:33:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he was obviously saying Maybe Ant.
Ihadsumthin4this ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is how you maybe get ants.
Rocky87109 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:57:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'yb'n't
dmizenopants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mn't,
Hobocannibal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You shouldn't've
garrisonjenner2016 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:19:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not impressed by your "shouldn't've"'s number of apostrophes.
Hobocannibal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sh'dn't've?
metaphysicalcustard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:51:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
''''''''''ve?
WaterArko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May bent*
Noneek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,lady
Gypsyarados ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really trying, but I cannot come up with a single example in English where that is false. All I have come up with is t'is and t'was which are misspellings of 'tis and 'twas.
Nyxceris ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:28:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God, that hurts me.
chrom_ed ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:35:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is physically painful.
wateryoudoinghere ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:36:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'aybe
tips diction'ry
awe778 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:38:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'lady
shapu ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:04:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
m'aybe.
ti,ps fe?dora
AskmeifIdoitEveryday ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:29:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"N"i,c'e
ArcticKid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May'be it's maybal'n
yaosio ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:34:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,lady?
mr_super_socks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:45:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this just gave me an ab workout
barricuda ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:20:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
could,nt've
jorge1213 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe go fuck y,self
Tyrinnus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:49:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just gave me cancer
TheTimeTravelersWife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nay, matey, I'll not be havin' yer bleedin' cancer. Keep the skivey stuff yersel'!
Tyrinnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I goofed, that was supposed to read GAVE not HAVE
Uhnrealistic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MY EYES!
Dinglecakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Per'haps
avicennia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
m,lady
IDontWantToArgueOK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,lady
hephaestus1219 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe go fu,ck yourself
theclosedpistachio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Usern,ame checks out
Atigerwithlaserbeams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like that the apostrophe wouldn't even be in the right place if that were a legitimate contraction. It's a nice touch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mayben't*
jak-o-shadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
m,lady
TheCatcherOfThePie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paging /u/commahorror
JoDoc1995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my new favorite way to screw with people. Maybe'nt
thatonecoolkid99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,lady' tips fedora
SillyFlyGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'aybe.
totalscrotalimplosio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna slip this into my next report and see how long it takes anyone to notice.
Yes, people with a PhD (science, engineering) read/write like 3rd graders sometimes
decent_in_bed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its mayben't idiot
wylderk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Mayben't. Come on man, you're embarrassing yourself.
Coziestpigeon2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh
breakyourwings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'aybe
harmless_zephyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But...should it not be Mayben't?
PikpikTurnip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mayben't*, you illiterate.
Energy_Focus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'aybe
hockeyjim07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
neither of those are contractions either haha, love it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
idk why but i laughed out loud at this
Habbeighty-four ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got me. I laughed for real.
ka36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're giving me a headache.
waterlilyrm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it be mayben't?
Uberkorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this made me laugh so ha.rd.
Death_and_Gravity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hurting my eyes.
Naalcrit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mayben't* Kappa
LegendOfPublo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoms'td
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Owwwwww
ChocolateGautama3 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:15:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My experience with community college is that it's full of old students that don't know how to type.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:23:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
J5892 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:29:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's God's comma.
boywithtwoarms ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:55:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck would confuse up and perhaps. Also your punctuation is terrible mate.
Housetoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn, your comment was so confusing to read.. i had to reread my own comment a few times before my head stopped hurting.
Fenrir-The-Wolf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:50:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mum does this, only she doesn't mix them up (she knows how they're supposed to be used) she just uses commas in place of apostrophes cause they're easier to get to.
It,s fucking infuriating.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But then the instructor would have an idea why.
ProfessionalHobbyist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comma to da top!
ncocca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher would have to be pretty dumb not to make that connection though
Axelnite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
flying comma mate
MapleA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the English teacher that said that soooo no.
J5892 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comma to the top.
hablomuchoingles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flying comma vs swimming comma
Infinity315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'lady
Housetoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S'ir
vitriolicnaivety ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,lady
WordswithaKarefunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They sharn't do that.
alayne_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In some countries you write ,, instead of " at the beginning of a quotation. Could be?
jonrosling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep - seen this loads of times.
Vroco ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:14:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha! I for some reason feel a need to find you and make you disappear. Heh.
Housetoo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:55:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i reckon for people who speak a language without commas and apostrophes it can be tricky to remember which is which.
chinese or urdu for example.
PVPDatabase ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:26:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it has to be that, having a comma in the middle of a word just looks so wrong though, I don't see how anyone could seriously do this
[deleted] ยท 1027 points ยท Posted at 14:58:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe they were writing in regex
RX142 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:15:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are commas a special character in regex? My mind is drawing a blank right now.
mister-la ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:19:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't need to be escaped, so I think that's a no.
chtk ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 15:43:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you,re doing string substitution using the
sedcommand you can do something likesed -e "s/from/to/g". But in the given example you can replace the slash with any other unreserved character and it,ll still work. Like this:sed -e "s,from,to,g". This has at least one benefit when manipulating UNIX paths, where the slash character is the path delimiter. If you use something other than slashes as the delimiter in your regex, you don,t have to escape the slashes in your path. Which results in code that,s a bit easier on the eyes.OP_deliveries ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:00:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
telllphone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:36:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like you 2
jwestbury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew you could use non-slashes in sed, but it had never once occurred to me to use them to avoid unreadable regexes involving paths. Huh.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:10:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Devieus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don,t see it.
learnyouahaskell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liar. It`ll come to you:
RX142 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:18:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought so, am I missing the regex joke or is it just wrong?
Notelpats ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:22:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:26:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quick: best resource for learning regex! I find cheat sheets all the time, but do you know a good book, or description?
Smaskifa ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:30:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find http://regex101.com very useful for building patterns.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're awesome. Thank you.
_JGPM_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I need to test it out I use this page. I wish the page had other applications as settings instead of just different types of languages.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to test Regex against something real, look up the Select-String command in PowerShell on any Windows computer.
Write
Get-Help Select-String -Full
Example:
$Files = dir -Recurse | Where { $_.Extension } | Select-String -Pattern "(?<={)ID(\w+)?(?=})" -List | dir"
Looks through files that contain a n length words of "ID" like "IDHfs34" that are surrounded by { and } and then pipes the objects back to a "dir" command to store the FileInfo objects in the $Files variable.
The -List parameter makes it stop searching a file once a match is found, so that I can narrow down the files before looking for every match in each file.
I can then use the $Files variable to move or copy the files somewhere else.
_JGPM_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks, but I was thinking of specific applications where it wouldn't provide feedback about why your regex expression failed and would just fail silently. For example, Splunk calculated fields or Command line perl etc.
I've also never used PowerShell either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you're missing out.
_JGPM_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a polarizing topic. People love it or hate it.
virgnar ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:22:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually learned regex through www.regexcrossword.com . It's a great way to learn as it uses logic skills to learn and recognize the syntax, which imprints on your memory a lot better than through mindless rote. This is coming from a guy who was utterly intimidated with regex and absolutely loathed it and now love it.
Another site that's a straight up tutorial along with being a nice reference is http://rexegg.com/. It also does a fine job explaining the nuances of regex and how regex operates on the backend so you can anticipate a regex engine's behavior a lot better.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is great! I will be trying these!
sturmhauke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use Sublime Text for doing mass regex edits on walls of text. I used to do it in Vim, but it's kind of a pain in the ass there since they use a different regex dialect.
virgnar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:29:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://chrisarcand.com/perl-compatible-regular-expressions-in-vim/
Use :perldo if you got perl installed in vim to do PCRE. That would save you a lotta hassle. Article also tells how to install perl into vim
sturmhauke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:27:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
brb, installing perl on all the vims
alienpirate5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perl ALL the vims!
jwestbury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, puzzle four in "experienced" really ups the ante, doesn't it?
virgnar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That volapuk one is pretty brutal itself. But yeah it does jump a bit in intensity and the experienced and later ones I found having to pull out a reference or two
jwestbury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote "for" instead of "four"? Fuck me. But that fourth puzzle suddenly makes me question, "Is this a look-ahead? Is it just an exclamation point?" Of course, once I realize it was just punctuation instead of arcane regex functionality, it got a lot easier.
I'm thinking of breaking out one of these while interviewing. Regex isn't actually a part of my team's job (I'm on an ops team), but it'd sure be entertaining to see a candidate's response. :D
learnyouahaskell ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:39:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/1732348/regex-match-open-tags-except-xhtml-self-contained-tags
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:57:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol I love the first response. Parseing HTML with regex will summon undead souls, or something of that sort. Thanks man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to quickly use regex for something useful then hit up PowerShell on any Windows computer and use the "-match" operator to practice: "Hello World" -match "w"
Or use the Select-String cmdlet which is a super-fast command. You can feed it files with dir (alias for Get-ChildItem) and then search within the files for whatever you want.
Like so:
$files = dir -Recurse | Select-String -Pattern "(?<={)ID(\w+)?(?=})" -List | dir
This will search through every file in every folder from the current location and look inside each file for any instance of the letters "ID" surrounded by { and }, but the question marks within parenthesis do lookahead and lookbehind, which will keep the { and } out of the match result and only give me variations of "ID", like "ID32432".
The -List makes it stop searching a file when it finds a match. This is useful because I first want to narrow down the files containing IDs. The match objects created by Select-String all contain a FullName path property to the file which is then send to a second "dir" command which gives me the file objects.
The file objects are stored in the $files variable which I can then use to later move or copy the stored files somewhere else.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, you're my hero. Thank you. I pretty much use exclusively powershell, realized all of that. I love Reddit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As for a place to learn Regex, I think this is the Regex Bible.
gwildorix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always liked http://www.regular-expressions.info/ It's for actually learning regex, rather than copy-pasting bits and pieces, and trying them out in something like http://www.regexr.com or something.
codesforhugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you really want to learn them thoroughly, Mastering Regular Expressions is the way to go. It's also one of the most well written IT books I know, so it's a surprisingly easy read.
macropower ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:25:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
^...(would|could)you(..|....)that.$
eat_a_burrito ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many of you get this one?
fiiiiiine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:51:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now they have two problems.
TOASTEngineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If only they'd let us turn in a regex that matches a good paper.
_JGPM_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have never got this joke a year ago.
Krail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine it's pretty hard to write a story using only regex\.
Unless you're just writing an expression to capture the entire story or essay, in which case\.\.\. look ma, I'm writing in regex\.
WarehouseToYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[a-zA-Z0-9 ?!,./\]*
5000 word essay done, so easy
Makeartandlove ยท 294 points ยท Posted at 14:58:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
good lo,rd
TrueMrSkeltal ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:18:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,lady
PM_ME_AMAZON_VOUCHER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ho:hey //\o;ey
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,Lady
If_ice_can_burn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tl,dr
Whatsthisplace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a nice face. I like it. Kinda owlish.
lo,rd
wigsternm ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 15:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me as well! I was an English tutor. The student said that his teacher told him he needed to use more complex sentences "like, with commas and shit."
He'd literally gone back when he was finished and added them randomly throughout the paper.
sorenant ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:23:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/CommaHorror is that you?
fafafefefofo0 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:20:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what the f,uck
Cpont ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:55:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was she holding them upside down?
Kevin0wens ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:18:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe op is in Australia
lxpnh98_2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or in Poland.
Terabight ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:13:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'gram,mar
theknightmanager ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:45:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine tutored English at the community college we were attending at the time. She had to explain to a girl why it was inappropriate to use "lol" in an essay.
Homerpaintbucket ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:47:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, my mother was a high school teacher and she said internet slang's been creeping in for over a decade. She said it has, to some extent, led to kids being more used to expressing themselves in writing. So it's not all bad.
theknightmanager ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:18:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest a lot of times in texting a sarcastic comment will go over my head if lol or haha isn't included somewhere. So I guess there could be two sides to the story.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:29:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/CommaHorror has not been doing his job.
AnotherStupidName ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:54:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commas are real. You can use them.
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I consider internet comments to be more like dialog and less like writing, so I only put commas where I would actually pause while speaking and I give no shits about comma splicing.
Postius ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At first i would laugh and than i would cry because apparently im on the same level as those people since i am in a class with them. WHich makes me also an idiot.
Homerpaintbucket ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:31:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no. because I got an A and was there because I'd fucked up and partied too much. They were there because that was the best they could do. They were also there again the following semester.
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:02:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some schools don't allow testing out of certain prereqs. Welcome to English 101 with all the people who didn't learn anything in high school.
Nanakatl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
could be that they only saw one person do it but wanted to save them the embarrassment. either way, this cracked me the hell up.
vulcanstrike ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The, Shat, ner, comma
Slamduck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no they di,n't
Hickorywhat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hukd on fonix, probabubly.
"Did you see this? It's A,maze,ing!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/CommaHorror betcha you haven't done this yet!
Untitled_One-Un_One ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:02:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comment on a post in r/funny eight days ago.
What do I win?
UnknownQTY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People do this on Facebook A LOT. Also,,,,, this,,,, WTF is up with it?
Ansonfrog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The next line Frank sang was, "I see you shiver with antici," and then he paused to watch everyone's face. He then shattered the tension by continuing triumphantly, "PATION!"
BOOM Midword comma. #winning
Homerpaintbucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actually that an ellip... sis.
HollowScope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't understand sentence structure at all when being taught it. I remember the teacher kept coming up to me saying I didn't use any periods. I didnt undetstand. So, after awhile I just began placing them randomly.
I don't know how I finally learned. Them but I did.
Homerpaintbucket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was subtly hilarious.
I_Lost__TheGame ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:18:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
w,h,a,t, t,h,e, h,e,l,l, a,m, i, d,o,i,n,g,!'?
yequalsy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a PhD student once (he's now a professor) who would almost invariably place a comma right after the verb in a sentence. "Spot ran, home." Overall he was a pretty smart guy but man I spent a lot of time breaking him of that habit.
Homerpaintbucket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he just envisioned Shatner or Christopher Walken reading everything he wrote.
mahnkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man... everyday i read shit that makes me feel hella woke
torn-ainbow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looking around for /u/CommaHorror to appear...
TheAmishBatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what happens when all you need to get into school is a trust fund
Homerpaintbucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me, no one at this community college had a trust fund. It was a really weird mix of kids. They had an articulation agreement for their engineering program with several really good schools in the area, so my engineering classes had some kids who were fucking geniuses but wanted to save like 40 to 80k on the first two years of college. The gen ed classes I took, however, holy shit I didn't know people could be that dumb. I decided to change majors to bio and transfer, but I was too late to enroll in my new school so I did one last semester there in their bio program. My final average for my bio class was 103. I got less than 100 on 1 quiz. Otherwise I got every question and extra credit question right. It was a really easy class. The class average was in the high 70s.
TheAmishBatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know what you mean when I was in college there was actually an English class where we would have to read out loud and take turns just like in grade 4 and people would sound out the words just like in grade 4..... In college level English.... I got up and never returned.
booksofafeather ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing. I took a class at a CC once and it was a loooong semester after the class started with having to explain to most of the students how to write a basic 5 sentence paragraph.
Homerpaintbucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, I actually really give this teacher credit for not dumbing down the class. She said at the beginning of the class that this was a college level class and she was going to grade it accordingly. The first night every seat was filled. The second night about half were empty. By the final there was about 6 kids out of around 25 left. It honestly wasn't hard, but apparently kids don't know how to write anymore.
B00TYMASTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How else will I charm m,lady if I can't properly address her in my literature?
fabier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have 1,000 reasons why a comma should be in the middle of a word.
dramaticprovolone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,lady
Z0idberg_MD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M,teacher
josh_the_misanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
paging /u/CommaHorror
BrotherChe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna believe no one was actually doing it in this class, and the teacher figured it'd make for an amusing group announce,ment.
BighouseJD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh jesus. This would drive me insane. Even more worrisome that several people had done it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a glitch in my keyboard that inserts a comma into the word nic,e when I type it too fast. I don't know what anybody else's excuse would be though.
momopuddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. I had a student spell her name out and it had an apostrophe in it. She told me all the letters and then said, "With the comma to the top."
Homerpaintbucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was a very popular reddit meme a couple of years ago.
momopuddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, makes sense. This was a few years ago.
randymarsh58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's one way to get your page count up...
hello_mr_piggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not why people in that class did it but I do this if I'm not paying attention to what I wrote, - ' and , are next to each other on my keyboard (dvorak) and I hit both with a stretched ring finger so sometimes I hit the wrong one.
Ibloodyhateglee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it would be accurate in a Christopher Walken biography....
Moruitelda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it in a place where a pause in the word was appropriate? Like, they wrote, "Ho-oly shit," as "H,oly shit"?
PVPDatabase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, the only time I've ever seen that was when bots try and write content
chodumadan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
h,a h,a
PandasakiPokono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Community College?!?!? Where are you from? What high school did they attend????? Your teachers aren't doing their job if multiple people are doing this.
Homerpaintbucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were several ESL kids in the class, so it may have been one of them. But the school was in a pretty low income area. Most of my state's education is actually some of the best in the country, but when you have really underfunded schools, like big cities tend to, you have some slip through the cracks.
Obsidian_Veil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did one of them eventually become u/commahorror?
aVeryCoolRedditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tl;dr?
Homerpaintbucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait are you asking for a Tl;dr? It was 5 sentences.
aVeryCoolRedditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, I'm probably retarded myself. I meant "tl,dr". But thanks for taking the time to reach out.
SteveMcQwark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They say to put a com,ma where you breathe. Well that's where I brea,thed!
acandercat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they can't handle a comma I suggest not bringing up Oxford.
tonyray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Several? I'm laughing in a pub by myself right now.
im1nsanelyhideousbut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair community colleges have a shitton of programs where foreigners can come in and then ontop of that plenty of young adults new to america go to CC's.
Homerpaintbucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, there were definitely a few kids in the class that were their to improve their english. And to those kids credit, they were the bulk of the class at the end. There were like 25 or 30 kids in the class the first day. There were like 6 on the last and half of them were esl kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mid-word dra,matic pause.
Grown_Ass_Kid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were just trying to fuck up some commas.
Scarletfapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commas? You mean sleeping apostrophes?
duckyblinders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they were all elves pretending to be human. Some habits are hard to break.
Jasepstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KSL - Klingon as a Second Language
nickasummers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I took a creative writing class. Most of the people who took that class wanted to be writers. The average writing level in that class was so poor that the teacher threw out half of the planned writing assignments for the year, pushed all the ones that remained toward the second half of the year, and then inserted a bunch of basic grammar exercises. This was a class of some 9th and 10th but mostly 11th and 12 graders and we were learning basic capitalization, punctuation, tense, etc. People managed to fail the quizes after learning these things. Finally got far enough to actually do some writing, we had to do peer reviews, and this 12 grade girl, like 6 weeks before graduation, who was constantly talking about how she was going to be a writer had about half as many punctuation marks as she needed and used "should of" "would of" and "could of" all over her paper. It was painful.
JCelsius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In college there was this beefcake in my intro to business class. He would always answer the professor's rhetorical questions and the answers were always hilarious.
One exchange I recall:
Prof: "It's projected that by the year 2040, for every person on Social Security, there will be only two in the workforce paying into the program. So what are we going to do?"
Beefcake: "Go to war and advertise it."
The professor looked at him with same look I give my dog when she farts and scares herself.
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
should have laughed
waterlubber42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs, kinnian,.taught, me, about, punctuation, she says, they make, writing, better
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they were trying to do a ' but didn't know where to find it on the keyboard. That's the only possible explanation I can think of.
jazwch01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman year of college we had a required, 2 semester class called Paideia(pie-day-ugh). It was essentially a reading and writing course that all freshman had to take at the same time so we could all bond over how much it sucked ween. We read a novel every 2-3 weeks and during class we talked about the book, took quizzes and had to write 6 page summaries of each. Then at the end the year there was a 20 page paper due. So, during the small papers we did peer review in class and some people were O.K., but others were abysmally awful at writing. I'm talking their lack of ability to create a cohesive sentence made me surprised I didn't see some jeans on their head.
fritz236 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of them was doing it and the others were copying the work, errors and all.
lainzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had teachers in early grades say that commas go where you would naturally pause or take a breath. Maybe they were thinking they would take a breath in the middle of that word so a comma needed to go there?
raddaraddo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was only one person and she said several so she didn't make him/her feel bad.
I do this all the time so people don't feel like they are the lone idiot in the world.
katiedid05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were they from an urban background? Because I used to work with data collected from inner city schools and we used to have a lot of errors pop up on name lines of scan sheet because of children who had multiple apostrophes in their names
IAmTheAsshoIe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of flowers for Algernaan lol
BloodFartTheQueefer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I might be able to explain this:
1) no proofreading 2) trackpad on laptop pressing the cursor into the middle of a sentence.
itsthebeards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Community college English classes are ridiculous. I took one once and we spent half the class on commas and semicolons. Fucking morons.
2Fab4You ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Several?!
MeowsterOfCats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We once had this guy that was illiterate in English class. Supposedly he was fucking great at math and repairing stuff. One day the teacher asks him why he never does his assignment and he told him that he didn't know how to read and that he didn't know why he was given this class.
The teacher told him to go to the administration office to sort things out and I only ever saw him in the hallways after that.
Ms_Enigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In situations like this when I'm in class, I always laugh because not only do I not care about being 'that person', the part of me that is a jerk is thinking why/how do such things happens. I've laughed in almost every single class I've taken in college for some sort of reason like this.
codychro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was Christopher Walken attending the class?
btao ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:44:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PC aside, I'd put 100 bucks on them being black. They fabricate their own language to come up with names and expect it to carry over to reality.
18107 ยท 1564 points ยท Posted at 12:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This I the first question I've seen that I can't even understand. Just... How?
JustZoni ยท 1983 points ยท Posted at 12:10:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you saw how they wrote their stories, you'd understand. The only punctuation they used were periods and apostrophes. That was it. They didn't get that there is a difference between apostrophes and quotation marks. Lots of people I teach are very smart, or at least very determined, and figure things out after some basic instruction. This particular individual was... not compatible with anything having to do with the written word.
TerriblePrompts ยท 1078 points ยท Posted at 12:43:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Kevin?
JustZoni ยท 411 points ยท Posted at 12:52:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Strangely, no.
Tychus_Kayle ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 15:38:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, IIRC, "Kevin" was an alias created for privacy. So it could still be the same person. If it were, you'd have a lot more stories, though.
Stewbodies ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:49:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing we know about his name is that it isn't Kevin.
Tychus_Kayle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:57:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably. Could've been a "this is totally an alias" fakeout.
funguyshroom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:30:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point was that it doesn't matter what his name is because he can't fucking spell it anyway.
leftthinking ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:52:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald?
Sam-Gunn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:48:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about k3Veen?
sponge_welder ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:53:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ke.v'in
casper1020 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:35:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about Bob?
Cpt_Swamp_Nuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KINNNNNGG BOBBBBBB!
casper1020 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O the joys of having a toddler. Lol
Dreamcast3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
m,e'ta,
sponge_welder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that mark next to the m?
Dreamcast3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i don't know honestly
WhoDaFuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very odd indeed.
2016nsfwaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Ken M?
YouBleed_Red ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 14:53:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His name was Cormac McCarthy.
d_b_cooper ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:09:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(โ๏พใฎ๏พ)โ
ForgotMyFathersFace ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:28:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn
cakeistite ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:17:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Genuinely surprised that Kevin is not top post
Starburstnova ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:08:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, even Kevin's real name isn't Kevin.
evil_ostrich ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:20:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter. He couldn't spell it anyway.
Stillframe39 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:28:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Kevin. Why you being such a cunt, mate?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Si,ck reference bro!
Call_Me_Kev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am Kevin' ca,n confirmโข
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevviin!
Kadybaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was fucking waiting for someone to bring it up
Throwaway_account134 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Kevin :(
poop_compressor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you bully other children as a kid? (sorry, just curious)
Throwaway_account134 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I was homeschooled and my older siblings bullied me.
possiblethrowaway21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin?
gshepler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a Kevin that would fit this bill
Foxfire2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Kevin.
Ninjason666 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna guess it was something like Tariq, D'Shawnn, Anfernee or Laquisha.
YourEyesSayYes ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 12:46:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What IS the difference between semicolons and colons though?
JustZoni ยท 202 points ยท Posted at 12:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One is typically used to begin a list or direct reference, the other to connect two parts of a sentence which could be separate but remain connected and relevant.
Colon: How to post on Reddit: Click Submit.
Semicolon: She didn't want to go to the store; the pavement was still icy, and she didn't want to slip.
(To be fair, I am absolutely terrible at semicolon examples.)
Mykeliu ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 13:01:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very good example! Just to add to it...
"Imitation period" actually captures it pretty well. A semicolon, like a period, connects two independent clauses (two things that could have been their own sentences); the main difference is that the two independent clauses are closely related somehow, like in this very sentence!
It's usually a judgment call; if you're in doubt, you can use a period instead.
edit: restructured the last sentence to use a semicolon, because why not (tough potatoes, Vonnegut)
Bananawamajama ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:33:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there ever an actual reason to use a semicolon, if a period can always be used to replace it?
dogsledonice ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:13:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes using a period instead will make writing sound more stilted.
Also, another use of semicolons is to replace commas when a sentence contains a complex list.
peon47 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:17:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can help connect the two clauses in the reader's mind.
"Jack didn't want to leave the house; the rain was torrential, and wasn't about to end anytime soon."
The semicolon means the sentences are connected/related, so you know Jack didn't want to leave because of the rain. You know the writer wasn't just talking about Jack's agoraphobia and then moving on to talk about unrelated weather patterns.
Puncha_Y0_Buns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like your example, but isn't your third clause ", and wasn't about to end anytime soon." a comma splice error? Surely it should be ", and it wasn't about to end anytime soon."
BackInAsulon ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:57:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes it read differently. Sometimes a period is too jarring.
musicmorph99 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:13:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my reason for using semi-colons pretty often; it makes sentences flow better as you read them. See? Like that!
Full disclosure: I like semi-colons quite a bit, so I'm a bit biased.
MonotoneCreeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't a comma have worked there as well?
musicmorph99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but if you want the sentence to be read as two separate parts that are related, you use a semi-colon. If I put a comma there, then the two thoughts are connected into one sentence.
It's not that a comma wouldn't work, it's how I want to convey the sentence.
Turbo1928 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I'm pretty sure that using a comma there would be wrong. If you connect two independent clauses with a comma, it's called a comma splice.
musicmorph99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're probably right. I'm no grammar expert myself.
evaned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As Turbo1928 said below, no, it actually wouldn't have.
AdamClay2000lbs ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:52:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the words of Kurt Vonnegut, "Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.โ
Tempest_1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:01:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna comment something like this
"Semicolons are bastards in the grammar world. Two sentences don't really get along well and create this undesirable thing"
tubbzzz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see semicolons
areas being able to replace ", because" in their most correct use. The second sentence could be a complete independent phrase, however given the context of the semicolon it is used as a justification of the first, which itself is a complete phrase.SuperSocrates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's how I use them too.
almightySapling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It boggles my mind what these two words in conjunction could possibly mean.
skibble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use them all the time when I have two independent clauses that together from one thought or point.
bear_poo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To look fancy
MissPetrova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A big clue is in the name; a semi-colon is a hybrid between a colon and a comma. It takes the purpose of both at the same time in the sentence above.
A big clue is in the name: a semi-colon is
A big clue is in the name. A semi-colon is
Looks more natural with a colon, but a colon would be weird to use there. It's more of a little pause than a big stop. Voila: Semi-Colon.
Grammatically, it's way more general than that. You CAN use it between any two independent clauses, and you will most often use it to chain together two related thoughts in order.
cmkinusn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
semicolons are great for a few purposes:
separating ideas in a list, specifically those that have commas present within the list; separating two independent clauses, as noted above, while still tying them together; and when you just need to create a better flow in the paragraph structure.
MightyEskimoDylan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because language should be specific, and though the period and semicolon share a function, they have different connotations.
alkenrinnstet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Usually it represents a shorter pause than a full stop. Which you should interpret as indicating a greater degree of relation than fully separate sentences.
The archetypical usage is for two clauses where the second elaborates on or explains the first, for instance, "I don't want to go out; I am an agoraphobe." The second clause is not entirely independent; it exists only to justify the first.
Contrast with "I don't want to go out. I am an agoraphobe." which places at least equal weight on the second sentence. Use the semi-colon to emphasise your reluctance in going out, and use a full stop to emphasise your agoraphobia.
Soul_of_Cinnamon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:01:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I came to reddit to laugh at the questions, and instead I learned something useful.
good_ole_dingleberry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I spent way too long looking for a semicolon in your last sentence...
Udo_Jager ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:37:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also," I have lived in Miami, Florida; Charleston, South Carolina; and Sacramento, California.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:25:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, is that actually correct?
Udo_Jager ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:32:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. It's used for lists that include commas, so the reader doesn't think descriptions are part of the list.
KinseyH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
TheGrumpyre ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That might be correct, but it's painful to read.
_ReCover_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:59:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think your use of the semicolon is fair; you could have ended the sentence at the pavement being icy without having to explain why she didn't want to slip.
Housetoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about " and '?
i am asking a stupid question but you are a teacher, i do not know and i really want the answer, i got the feeling i mix them up or use them incorrectly sometimes or accidentally use them correctly at other times.
StarOriole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This depends a lot on country. British and Canadian English swap " and ' in many situations. My comment will be based on American English.
In America, " is for quoting someone:
It can also be used for some titles (although the titles of books are done in italics instead):
' is an apostrophe, used for showing possession:
If you have nested quotations, however, then it's standard to use " for the first time you use the quotation mark, and ' the second time you use it, to show that you aren't closing the first quotation:
Another tricky point is that if a quotation spans multiple paragraphs, then you put new quotation marks (") at the beginning of each paragraph, but don't put closing quotation marks until the end of the LAST paragraph:
Hopefully that helps a bit!
Housetoo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:34:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why do you put the quotation marks at the beginning of sentences there but not the end? what does it contribute when it is already put at the start and ending of that paragraph?
StarOriole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the last example? I'm not sure there's a good reason why, but if I had to try to justify why there are quotation marks at the beginning of each paragraph, I'd say that it's a reminder that you're still reading a quote. E.g., if you have an entire page of quoted text, and the paragraphs are multiple sentences long instead of just single sentences like I had, you might get engrossed in the quote and forget that it's someone else's words, not the author's.
As for why there's only one ending quotation mark, that's to indicate that the quote is continuous. If there were quotation marks at the end of each paragraph, then it would imply that the quotations weren't adjacent to each other. I.e.,
Those two lines weren't next to each other, so it's not a continuous quote, and the break is indicated by the ending quotation mark.
You would also use ending quotation marks after each paragraph if the quotes were by different people:
The closing quotation marks suggest that three different critics gave those comments (although it could also technically have been a single critic who mentioned those things in different parts of her review).
lenaro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It lets the reader know that this is a new paragraph continued by the same speaker. Otherwise, the reader could assume that the new paragraph indicates a different speaker.
Housetoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i am not saying end all sentences with " but beginning them with " when you do not start them with " is weird to me.
i would assume most people to be smart enough to figure out that a paragraph a few lines long starting with " and ending with " is one quote.
all this " talking must read terribly annoying.
lenaro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually a pretty useful grammatical function, because otherwise long bits of dialogue in books would often get very confusing.
The point is clarity. Reading is easier and faster when we don't have to puzzle through context clues to figure out who's speaking.
Housetoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks, you have opened my eyes :)
MechaSandstar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
" is used for the whole quote. ' is used inside of the whole quote like when quoting other people:. the senator quoted the president when he addressed the floor "when the president says things like 'we're gonna build a wall' when there's more important issues..." You get the idea.
Housetoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah, thanks :)
is the apostrophe used in other ways besides that intraquote quote and can't/don't?
MechaSandstar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in contractions and to indicate that letters have been removed, IE: fuckin' and got 'em
evaned ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:28:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't do this in anything but a grammar thread, but that really oughtn't to be "i.e.", it should be "e.g.".
The latter does actually mean "for example," while "i.e." translates to "that is." It's a lot closer to "in other words" than "for example." In your case, it would imply that "fuckin'" and "got 'em" are the only two places you'd use an apostrophe to indicate omissions.
This distinction is being lost (maybe already has been) and I'm fighting a losing fight, but it's one of those unfortunate things where you occasionally see "i.e." and it's actually not clear whether the writer really means "i.e." or whether they mean just "e.g.".
MechaSandstar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No worries, you're right. :)
Housetoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, i already know those :)
thanks :)
MechaSandstar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem.
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
" is a quotation mark. It's used to surround dialogue, like so:
"I want to go get a burger," Bob said.
' is an apostrophe. It can be used to make things possessive (like David's book), to create a contraction (like can't or won't), or to add completely unnecessary pauses in made-up languages (glf'ratera'fere'askshere'bob'eree'ai!).
But remember, an apostrophe does not a plural make.
Housetoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about the quote inside a quote thing someone mentioned? is that handled with " then ' ' then " to finish as they said?
piomcclimax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something useful i learned on Reddit, thank you!
kourkour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing, in Greek the semi colon is ; is the questionmark. And it predates English.
MachoNachoMan69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always treated it like: colons are the boss, use them to separate a list from its preface; semicolons are inferior to colons and superior to commas; and commas are used to arrange parts of sentences and to control the pace of dictation.
MachoNachoMan69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always treated it like: colons are the boss, use them to separate a list from its preface; semicolons are inferior to colons and superior to commas; and commas are used to arrange parts of sentences and to control the pace of dictation.
sorenant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/BeautifulSemicolons for more semicolon examples.
needhaje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fine example. Semicolons are often used to link two closely related sentences, such as the ones you used. In that context, it really is like a compromise between a comma and a period, which makes sense given its shape.
Another common use is to separate pieces in a list that contain commas:
Another example:
Long and complex lists would be a pain in the ass to read without this.
_PM_ME_GFUR_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your semicolon example would work with a colon actually. A better example could be something like "I like red; she prefers blue."
JustZoni ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:45:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, as I said, terrible with examples. Thank you.
Toxicitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google oatmeal semicolon.
Nawara_Ven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Colons: fact, or fiction?
Semicolons are useless; no one needs them.
SirHawkwind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Semicolons have more in common with periods than colons.
Generally, it's best to think of a semicolon is less than a period and more than a comma.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:26:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bakumaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seconds? I take like a quarter second pause for a comma and a half second for a period, if that.
evaned ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we found William Shatner's Reddit account, you guys. :-)
EvangelineTheodora ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:54:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to use apostrophes instead of quotes, but mostly because I wanted to feel special (and I liked using one of something rather than two). I read The Chronicles of Narnia, and C.S. Lewis uses single instead of double quotes, and I wanted to be like him. So glad my English teachers didn't care so long as my writing was alright!
JayBeeFromPawd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*all right :D
CaptInsane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an editor, and the amount of people who use apostrophes instead of quotation marks is astounding. They're mostly engineers, but still
JustZoni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is an editorial assistant at a university press. Just thinking of some of the stuff she must see is terrifying.
CaptInsane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a while, it was kinda shocking knowing how awful adults are at writing, but during my master's program I did a lot of research into it and found out how terrible writing education is so it makes sense
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You taught Cormac McCarthy how to write?!
10018_throwaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Apostrophes"? Do you mean "comma to the tops"?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess there's a reason he needed writing counseling huh...
SUBHUMAN_RESOURCES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an instructor, is the over utilization of the comma as epidemic as it appears to be? I feel line I am noticing it EVERYWHERE but always wonder if it is just my own perception.
svrtngr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, some (published) authors have made a stylistic choice to never use quotation marks when characters speak.
trollinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a style format that uses single quotation marks instead of the normal double ones.
crackheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's really sad. I really like to write, but I was severely lacking in basic grammar and punctuation comprehension at the start, so I took some writing classes. One of my peers shared my enthusiasm with writing (maybe even eclipsing my own!), but while the rest of us were able to advance through the lessons with relative ease, it felt like he could not keep up. Over the course of the several weeks, his enthusiasm waned as he just couldn't get it through his head, and eventually he stopped showing up.
It broke my heart, honestly; seeing someone want something so badly, but just being unable to obtain said thing, despite their enthusiasm and determination. I think about him every time I bring a pen to paper.
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who love writing should always have access to resources for learning how to improve. Sadly, there just aren't enough of them out there. There are plenty of grammar guides and writing groups, but they're difficult for some people to understand. Writing should be fun, not a chore.
kingpatzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So they followed in the footsteps of Wordsworth and E E Cummings :)
House_Slytherin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swear to god I had to train this person at work. She later asked me if I (her boss) could tell she was stoned during that first training shift
APiousCultist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, apostrophes are also used as single quote marks. There might technically be other symbols that should be used, but if it is as respected as the difference between a dash, a hyphen, and an em-dash.
ProphetMohammad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
quick question, how do you properly write a conversation between two people?
I loved writing stories in english and was in the "higher level" classes but my basic grammar and stuff was really bad, my teachers never went through it with me because its somthing I should have known, the only way they'd teach me the proper was is if i agreed to going to the ordinary level which i didnt want to do.
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English wasn't a first language for me, and it's a ridiculous language. But in general, a conversation might go something like this:
"We're talking," he said.
"Yes, we are," she replied, "but why?"
He thought about that for a moment. "Because Zoni needed an example."
ProphetMohammad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I confused myself when its two male or two female characters talking
I feel the need to like, differentiate between the two by using their names each time.
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fine to use names frequently. When writing a story where you're using dialogue, it's important for your readers to understand who's speaking.
Crede777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bit archaic, but technically it's acceptable to substitute apostrophes for quotation marks in English. One mark to begin a quote, and two marks when using a quote within a quote (the opposite of what is currently common practice). Tolkien wrote this way, for instance.
thbb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In some sense. I like this minimalist approach on punctuation. It gives a kind of rhythm to the text. It's a style worth trying. It's terse and whippy. No?
MooseFlyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair to them, single quotation marks are a thing.
AP246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure apostrophes can be used as quotation marks if it's not direct speech. I've seen it many times.
justarandomgeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone whose thoughts aren't always compatible with language, I can kind of understand where this would come from, but the question still doesn't make much sense because following this idea a bit further leads you to the conclusion that all of language is made up!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine teaches high school. One day, she showed me some papers from her students. I was blown away by how primitive a lot of it was. Not just the grammar, which was random if it wasn't non-existent, but also you could tell that thinking in a written form was difficult and stilted for them. Some of them were 16-17 year olds that wrote like they were in elementary school.
Warrlock608 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to ask, what hell hole do you live in? Follow up question, did said hell hole vote for Trump?
kaelne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, apostrophes are quotation marks in the UK.
NapClub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
is this really the student's fault? the stats say 12% of americans are functionally illiterate. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Functional_illiteracy
Has_No_Gimmick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The form of quotation marks is really just a convention. Most people use double marks but plenty of people, including famous authors, use the single mark. Off the top of my head, I know David Foster Wallace usually only deployed the single quotation mark for dialogue.
phoenix-corn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the past year or so, students have stopped using double quotes. I also have a lot of trouble finding a college student who knows how to properly format their address or even the order things go in.
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hubert Selby Jr. writer of Requiem for a Dream seems to have done quite well for himself and he doesn't use punctuation. Maybe he and your student are one and the same?
Goose420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in a lot of programming languages, quotes and apostrophes are interchangeable. So maybe python is their native language?
handlebartender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL "graphotactically incompatibile" is a synonym for "idiot".
isperfectlycromulent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what happens when the only writing you do is texting your friends.
RandyOfTheRedwoods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you write in JavaScript, you get all hosed up on apostrophe and quotations, since you can't mix them and you need one or the other to denote a literal.
test = "this isn't the time for \"good\" men to come to the aid of their country"
Guessing your example was from an idiot, not a programmer though.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, some British writers use the single quotation mark for stuff like:
He said, 'Yes,'
_tarvis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:04:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like Cormac McCarthy
Eshin242 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:15:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ready to be even more scared... if they are over 18 they can legally vote. Stuff like this is what screws with me. I know that it's important making sure everyone gets to vote, but maybe...
Sigh, and I'm a stone cold liberal progressive.
macblastoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So's Louis C.K., and he'd agree with you.
The only problem is, who gets to decide the voting criteria? SNS ( Sarcastic, not sarcastic).
Eshin242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said, it's mixed with ALL kinds of pitfalls, and access to educational materials.
Though if I had to pick, I'd do some really simple things, how many branches of government are there? How many senators? Can you give me some details on the bill of rights? Does the US have an official language? How is a bill passed?
Hell even a 30 minute video in the view of school house rocks would be helpful. Just something so people get a basic understanding of how shit works.
But like I said, it's got a lot of pitfalls.
AgathaCrispy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid was just being existential. Grammar is all made up, it's just that we agreed on the rules. Except that kid. He's not falling for the comma conspiracy.
Nothammer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commas are often seen as an equal to a short stop. While reading sentences, it helps to structure the syntax.
So maybe he/she thought that it equals a reading pause.. or so?
ValAichi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we give the student the benefit of extreme doubt, the question kinda makes sense.
Why do we have commas etc? Because humans made them up. It's like stoner philosophy
jackduloz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But, technically, someone DID make up commas and semicolons, just like everything else in the written word. Punctuation marks don't exist in the natural world.
Dreadgoat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying really hard to come up with justification here, so bear with me.
Maybe what they meant to ask was something like, "Do commas really have any strict grammatical purpose, or are they just used stylistically?" I could see that being a valid question.
I could, for example, load this sentence, with, as you can see, many commas, for the purpose of demonstrating, albeit awkwardly, the points at which I intend to, you know, pause, or take a breath.
An author might write a character's dialogue that way to influence how the reader imagines their speech.
However, commas also have several distinct grammatical purposes. I can see how living a world where commas are frequently used for both style and grammatical clarity could be confusing for someone.
Or maybe the dude was just dumb as a brick idk
probablyhrenrai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno about the commas, but I can see how he'd think all semicolons should just be periods, given how, to use one normally, you need a full sentence on each side. I disagree, but I can see what he's getting at by calling them "imitation periods."
-PM_me_ur_tits- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um I don't see a comma in your sentence either ... are you another non-believer?
jackduloz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where should there even be a comma in the sentence? In place of the ..., perhaps. The rest of the comment is a single clause.
djuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student was a mathematician.
jaykayel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Acid
u38cg2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's cra,,,,,,zy
WhiskeyCup ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:07:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is how things like punctuation is taught. When it's taught as an absolute (like things you learn in science class), then some people will begin to think punctuation and random grammar rules have the same weight as laws of nature.
Not sure if there's a better way than the teacher to simply explain this explicitly, though.
Th3Element05 ยท 318 points ยท Posted at 13:57:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least they understand what a semicolon is.
qsdls ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 15:48:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? That's a perfectly reasonable definition of a semicolon.
yourmom777 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:55:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't think a lot of people know that a semicolon's purpose is to separate two independent clauses, just like a period, but in a slightly less abrupt way. I kind of like the "imitation period" part
GodEmperorOfCoffee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can also use a semicolon to separate a series that includes commas. I suspect that people come across examples of this, and then have no idea what to make of semicolons.
Plagiarized example:
garrettcolas ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:37:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Independent but related; sort of like this.
Pinglenook ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:32:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither of your clauses have a verb; I feel it would be a better example if they did.
garrettcolas ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:15:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, yours is way better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't really understand semicolons until my senior year of high school. Teachers just didn't bother to teach us about them.
sikkbomb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:17:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sad, but not surprised, that I had to scroll down so far to see this comment.
Cheeseand0nions ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's what you have left after surgery to remove part of your colon.
2068857539 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can a semicolon be real if our eyes aren't real
Th3Element05 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Semicolons only operate at 24fps, so we can see them just fine.
LunaLucia2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you use 60fps paper to write them on, which can cause tearing issues.
Timekeeper81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But How Can A Semicolon Be Real If A Comma Isn't Real?
I_am_usually_a_dick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
weight loss surgery?
akamustacherides ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One that doesn't have to be checked as regular.
HanBalSwot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, those are examples of colons. You all get Fs.
Zell43 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:40:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get ready for a Whale of a time; Shamu.
sassyfrog ยท 530 points ยท Posted at 12:09:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, people, make up, commas, though.
[deleted] ยท 792 points ยท Posted at 13:20:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok william shatner
aleph_zarro ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:42:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Shatner is more of an ellipsis talker. Commas are just not dramatic enough.
"Sometimes.... people, MAKE UP.... commas... though."
See?
fireinvestigator113 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:49:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Christopher Walken is more of the comma speaker.
"I will, break your, fucking, balls if you, make fun, of how I speak."
VitQ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:35:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Calculon is master of the dramatic........................pause!
zygntwin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking more like Paul.................Harvey. And now you know..... the rest of the story.
MssingPiece ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, just about to reference the awesome Mr Walken but you beat me to it. Tip of the hat!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, Calculon!
DongLaiCha ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:42:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching the original Star trek series the other day and lawd was he a fine gentleman, even with terrible lighting.
DontBanMeBro8121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was Christopher Walken.
galacticboy2009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'll negotiate you a better hotel price.
NapClub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
isn't shatner; using; semi; colons?
IiteraIIy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
william shat in her coffee
elkabongg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok, william shatner
Workaphobia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And, I think it's gonna BE... a long.. long, time, before I upvote that.
JustZoni ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 12:12:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was painful.
_ReCover_ ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 13:02:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The use of commas here is acceptable, if you were writing in Christopher Walken's voice.
ThePu55yDestr0yr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:18:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the William Shatner.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:24:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about Jeff Goldblum? Lots of commas there.
shevrolet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:26:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that your comma is unnecessary. If you had put the second clause first, then you would need that comma.
NiceGrammarNazi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The comma was unnecessary, but not incorrect. Commas are a fuzzy business. Have a good weekend!
(For the record, I'm talking about /u/_ReCover_'s comment.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's using the comma take the place of "that is,"
macheezer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to reread that so I could hear it in Christopher Walken's voice
AskmeifIdoitEveryday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but not when written in Christopher Runen's voice though
dmizenopants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is, there any, other voice, to write in!?!
PrettyDecentSort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like, there should, be. A question mark? If this, is. Walken.
Nerdwiththehat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think, you mean the use of, commas, here is, acceptable, if you, were writing, in Christopher Walken's, voice.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/commahorror
alysia415 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:57:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A woman I work with, types a comma far more, often than needed. She says she, just out of habit, types a comma every time, she inhales and takes, a breath at work. We work at the state, government level and spend, our days writing reports for, other government agencies.
RsonW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard that in German, their grammar rules dictate far more heavy use of commas than in English. A lot of times, that's what you're seeing: a German learner of English that hasn't quite yet grasped that we have different punctuation rules.
Plain_Bread ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:34:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reparierte Das Fรผr Dich
farcedsed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commas are not determined by grammar rules, but by orthographic and style rules
RsonW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Regardless. German uses more commas.
Skilol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a German speaker, I've always felt like you won't do too bad if you use commas in English by intuition, because in many cases commas are simply used when a statement would be ambiguous without them or to mark a small pause in the text flow.
But, obviously, as a non-native speaker whose only goal ever is communicating and not being completely correct, I'm held to much lower standards than somebody attending an English class in an English speaking country.
datenschwanz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Ira Glass?
LizRedTheLizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in Stevie's voice from Malcolm in the Middle
1pngti2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesssss. Me too. I can just imagine that woman over inhaling at her desk
TirschTheDirsch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Christopher Walken.
PrivateCaboose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a bad habit of going comma crazy. I'll come back later to self-edit and think, "Holy shit I think my run-on sentence has another run-on sentence inside of it."
It's...a bad habit.
themagicplatypus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok Christopher Walken
xray_anonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a Reddit user who does this in comments on purpose. I can't for the life of me remember his user name. It's something along the lines of commanightmare but that's not right. People freak the fuck out had his random comma usage until someone notices his user name.
onealbatross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An interesting point that a lot of people don't quite understand however is that any comma can be correct if it accurately conveys how the author intends for a sentence to be read.
The above sentence is not wrong by necessity. It would just wouldn't make much sense in the majority of circumstances.
chokewanka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commas, uh, find a pause
WorkFlow_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someti,mes people make up com,mas though" =)))
Connoire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was just comma sense.
fraencko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For us Germans, who write in English from time to time, this is pretty normal, we have commas everywhere and very long sentences. But we don't write commas before ands, because, honestly, why should we?
ging3rtabby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a college prof who would say "put away your comma machine guns and get out your comma muskets."
usernamelareadytook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a guy on a message board I frequent who will use multiple commas, I think to indicate a long pause,,,,,,,,,,,,, but who knows really?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/commahorror
Beast_In_The_East ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And apostrophe's too.
JessicaBecause ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I make up commas all the time. Meanwhile, I take every chance I get to correct others on their spelling, because it's the only thing I've retained in school.
trianuddah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some other people, probably the same people, inject full stops to indicate pauses like theyโre speaking. very. slowly.
Semicolon7645 ยท 617 points ยท Posted at 12:59:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can confirm that I exist.
lamprey_condom ยท 159 points ยท Posted at 14:02:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna need some proof
Bamboozle_ ยท 304 points ยท Posted at 14:25:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
60 proof? 80 proof? How strong do you want it?
Giac0mo ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:19:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
189, as concentrated as ethanol can exist without adding benzene, which is damaging in virtually any concentration
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:25:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuck yeah, science
Clementinesm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:57:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only 95% alcohol? What do you think I am, a ะกัะบะฐ?
imnotfeelingcreative ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
191, actually. 95.5% ethanol.
Giac0mo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I was certain I remembered that correctly.
PrimeLegionnaire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can make 200 proof ethanol with a good vacuum pump any day of the week, it just doesn't stay at 100% cause it will absorb water from the air.
CanuckPanda ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:21:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
130 proof. What do you take me for, some bitch-ass Frenchman who likes his wine at <20 proof?
(I kid, the French are cool)
Dinglecakes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:35:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What with their white flags and all
Clown_AIDS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And their fried potatoes.
PM_ME_AMAZON_VOUCHER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elephant
RASTAPANDAFISH ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:20:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want it to strip the varnish off speedboats
dreamw0lf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keep it ๐ฏ
WhenRomeBurns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take some 150 proof white lightning moonshine
(Am Tennessean)
HGF88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:14:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
400 proof.
Clementinesm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:58:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"2 parts alcohol for every alcohol". Good choice!
OldBeercan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got any beer?
Dreamcast3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just give me a coffee mug filled with gasoline
otis_the_drunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck it. Just put it in a fancy glass so I look classy.
NapClub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
for this? we are gonna need at least 120 proof. 80 is not going to be nearly enough.
hardly-workin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
200 proof, if it's not Everclear i won't drink. If it's water it's going in your face. If I make a mistake and it is Everclear i'm not sorry.
blakhawk12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Searching For Jerry Garcia
IiteraIIy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One.... or two? One... or two?
Aspergers1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
200 proof, anything less is for lightweights.
StrangerJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7645 proof
CoolShorts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree he/she must send nudes as proof of existence
PinkDalek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got you. Proof
TearsOfLA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i think you need to be on the comment string above about flavored condoms. Lamprey condom?
RingGiver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cogito ergo sum.
lamprey_condom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...mathematical proof
RingGiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is proof enumerated by the guy who invented analytic geometry.
GaslightProphet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
;
TyrionDidIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Look at your keyboard"
plentyofcowbell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a picture of /u/Semicolon7645: ;
Semicolon7645 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you get that photo?
YourEnviousEnemy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:11:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up you imitation period
JohnBreed ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:28:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/beetlejuicing
of_course_you_agree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't claim to be objective on that score, so we'll need an unbiased witness.
flippityfloppity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but what about the other 7,644?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, you can't
kebabnisse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do we know you're not just kind of an ass?
Soakitincider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're just an imitation period.
ZombieSantaClaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But did you pay for parking?
rangers_fan2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:00:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
hkystar35 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:01:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternative Periods,
MansAssMan ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 12:24:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mean every letter and punctuation is made up.
CashCop ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:25:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah just because someone made them up doesn't mean they're not real.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is "real" anyway, though? Punctuation has no tangible existence.
This shit's getting philosophical.
shakewell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How Can Commas Be Real If Our Words Aren't Real?
thereisonlyoneme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait. Are you telling me character farms don't exist?
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not so, the first letters were naturally occuring. it's not until the printing press caused a mass extinction that we switched to artificial letters
_Brimstone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moot point.
nagol93 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:35:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well. Yes, people made them up. Along with the rest of the language.
MadDogFargo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:02:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โHere is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.โ --Kurt Vonnegut
Have some respect, the kid could be America's next great fiction writer.
Derwos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:02:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think semicolons sometimes have specific functions that can't be performed by anything else.
RoboChrist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they show that you've been to college.
Derwos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or to join two sentences in a certain way.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Derwos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
imo there's nothing wrong with using one if you want to attach meaning between two sentences.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wsdmskr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm... Abstaining leaves you with only the comma and period, though, and there are many times where the pause of the comma is not enough and the full-stop of the period is too much. Plus, there's the issue of the comma-splice.
I'd argue that most teachers are scared to teach the semicolon, because they're not sure themselves, and so students never learn. I've peer-reviewed papers which other professors have knocked because the student used a semicolon only to find that the student had used it correctly and the professor didn't know what s/he was talking about.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wsdmskr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why'd you erase your initial comment? I was in the middle of responding when I noticed it was no longer there.
In response to your new post:
Sure, there are lots of other punctuation marks, but they don't serve the function that the semicolon does.
In regard to your original post:
We could go back and forth on this all day. I can say that I believe they are necessary to convey to closeness of two complete thoughts or ideas; you can say people can make clear that relationship without them. You can say they are a stylistic frivolity; I can say that style is fundamental to clarity of conveyance.
There is no right answer. Yes, someone can avoid the semicolon โ and dashes, and colons, and parenthesis, too. But to do so would be to miss out on the fullness of expression the English language allows.
PencilvesterStallone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a colon, not a semi-colon.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PencilvesterStallone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I got that. I understood what you were trying to say. I was just confused about their absence in an example I thought was designed to exemplify their usefulness.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PencilvesterStallone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Words.
armorandsword ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:15:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something Grampa Simpson would say. Just absurd enough to be funny without being OTT.
Agent1108 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old man yells at cloud.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:21:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Egomania101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah God did it
11hitcombo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke here...
Jubjub0527 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:21:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite name for the semi Colรณn by a student is "the comma dot"
Tshirt_Addict ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:50:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Semi Colรณn, the Spanish trucker.
Jubjub0527 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:03:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking autocorrect. I'm leaving it though. I think the comma dot needs a new sassy personality.
imabouttoblowup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually what it's called in french ! Well, "dot-comma" (point-virgule), but same difference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in some languages that is more or less correct.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:56:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The student was just using alternative punctuation.
TemporaryImaginary ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:55:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I Can't Believe They're Not Periods!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In all fairness, people did make commas up...
haidynre ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:34:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, comma rules don't really match pauses in speech that well.
ie. "I went to the fair and went to the store." vs "I went to the fair, and I went to the store."
I think its a pretty good question...
skibble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy cake day! Go karma whore somewhere!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did i read that differently?...
pamplemouss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eh, not entirely wrong.
High-Priest-of-Helix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imitation periods is totally something I would say. Language is fluid man, don't come at me with your illegitimate punctuation. I didn't vote on it! Vive la resistance!
Trollygag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, semicolons are syntactic sugar at best. I don't disagree with those students. They are dubious (both semicolons and the students).
merelyadoptedthedark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was This Student Jaden Smith?
movingtarget4616 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
MachoNachoMan69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a better question than you think. Fwd to philosophy dept.
bfevans19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Semicolons being called imitation periods is now in my official headcanon for English.
mrraybaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this kid is going to be incredibly smart OR incredibly dumb.
buick_speed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All punctuation is made up.
rubbishaccount88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fairness, if this kid goes into continental philosophy, this question may end being seen as precocious and rather insightful.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nothing about language is real, we all made it up, nothing exists, come watch TV
Docjaded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A young Christopher Walken perhaps?
floridadude123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should have given the student some seminal semiotics works to read-up on. The concept of a universal grammar or a near universal grammar is not especially hard to understand or digest for a college age student. Some in-field Chomsky may have really fucked that student's worldview up (and maybe yours as well).
DotComCTO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid (pre-computers), I couldn't remember when to use "apostrophe s" and "s apostrophe" ('s and s'). So I would try to fool my English teachers by putting the apostrophe right over the, "s"! It worked, too! :-D
RatHead6661 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's not incorrect, they are "alternative punctuation"
thereisonlyoneme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid woke as fuck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's true, commas are a silly liberal myth. Or a vast right-wing conspiracy. I forget which.
bombaloca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was your student named Jaden by any chance?
Jimjamjelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Private writing instructor?
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Private writing instructor. We do exist.
Jimjamjelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does it entail? Like a tutor?
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of. Considering each person's needs, I figure out what they want to achieve, what they need to get there and then teach they skills they may not already possess. I'm also a writing problem solver, since I can help you figure out exactly why you can't seem to do something with your writing (like, say, make your readers sad, figure out a happy ending, etc.) and show you how to overcome the problems. The main reason students come to me is due to the fact that I use fan fiction to teach. People enjoy learning when they understand the examples being used and have fun using them, so why not? It's a great way to learn.
Jimjamjelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds awesome! Never knew that was a thing!
gwsteve43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean philosophically it's kind of an interesting question although that may not be what the student meant...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a certain way, it is actually an interesting philosophical question.
Furreal though, teaching writing is a highway to cynicism and horror. I was a college writing tutor and also taught writing intensive gen eds at a large university briefly. Realizing the extent of the illiteracy of students able to get into reasonably good colleges was shocking to me. I had seniors in college who couldn't identify nouns, verbs, and adjectives.
Halgy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a geography teacher that would give students an 'F' if they used a semicolon. His reasoning? "No one knows how to use semicolons, so if there's one in your paper you obviously plagiarized it."
AssumeTheFetal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People did make up commas.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone gets hired a private writing instructor, but was never read to as a child?
dokujaryu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a fantastic question imo, depending on the age of the student. Studied as an ESL teacher.
JustZoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was 26. Cute when they're twelve or fifteen. Not so cute when they're that age.
Cliftonmcdnl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean alternative periods.
Jaz_the_Nagai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes lots of sense to me. He was asking if the rules for commas were "real" or do people just put them wherever they feel. Actually makes lots of sense to ask that question about semicolons since many people have no idea to use them.
PhamNuwensGodshatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must've been reading too much Cormac McCarthy
QueenoftheDirtPlanet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i feel like you could have explained parsing instead of being a dick but most of these "stupid questions" in this thread have simple explanation that the idiot teachers just didn't think of - that's why they say there's no such thing as a stupid question
FlamingWings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
punctuation is just a government conspiracy
Kfey93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give this kid an interview "The details of my life are quite inconsequential...very well where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self improving Boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute name Chole with webbed feet. My father would drink , he would womanize. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy."
joko91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend knows a lot about imitation periods.
PM_ME_DAS_BOOTY_GURL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How, can, commas be real, if our sentences, aren't, real,?
chickenbuttguesswhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know how to use a semi colon to this day. I use a comma everytime, and you know what if I emailed somebody and they get offended I used a comma instead of a semicolon that's not a person I wanna work with anyway; and that's how you weed people out of your life.
HB24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't all language and communication made up?
Ryonne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid's got the right idea.
Hickorywhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ask what he smoked? Because it must've been amazing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is some healthy skepticism. Especially about semicolons, those bastards are tricky.
timothybugjunior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
semicolons are a globalist conspiracy
industrialoctopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well technically people did make them up...
v4-digg-refugee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this one though. It tells me that this kid thinks a little differently, but is wrestling with the concept at a pretty deep level somehow.
Irishprisoner7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do I use semi-colons properly?! I never know when to use them instead of a comma or a colon. My university English prof just told us semicolons have hard rules and if you're in doubt or don't know, it's safer to use a colon.
Aldryc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes" is the only appropriate answer.
prometheus010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A former coworker of mine once called an apostrophe an "air comma".
indiana_josh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, to be fair, commas--and all other forms of punctuation and diacritic marks--really are just made up. They were simply ways to aid in the oral reading of a text, and over time had varying (and conflicting) rules attached.
mikezig369 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your student is smarter than you think. Creative thinker, that one is. -Yoda
paulwhite959 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that isn't a terrible description
mxpasta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That ... is borderline genius!
Fairwhetherfriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know? Imitation periods isn't a half bad description of a semicolon, all things considered.
tigerscomeatnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably actually genius, not stupid. Wait till they find out numbers don't exist after doing all those Maths.
RRRrrr2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commas are a social construct
2daMooon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, aren't they both?
luckytree2108 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is an a whole new level.
TheRealBobbyC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is all a conspiracy. Commas are just a theory. And your imitation periods are just the man trying to keep me down
macblastoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doubting their existence puts them ahead of half Americans, who are oblivious to their existence.
RyanCryptic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
alternative periods
Chazwozel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A college education is the difference between using commas or semicolons in your writing.
PanamaMoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid has a real nack for asking the right questions, because by telling him no you would be giving him the incorrect answer, but by telling him yes he would disregard all languages as human constructs and search for the original language, which is impossible as we are unsure of what the original language is.
Bluesuedejuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the ol' alt-punctuation grammar;
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we need philosophy.
Mander0123456789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Kevin. Was it a Kevin?
TheInfra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/hzB1tMc
http://imgur.com/m2WE3IS
farha0401 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to middle school in India for a couple years, the teachers there taught us to call qoutation marks "imitation qoutes"... also explains why they don't really follow thy standard mla format of quoting your sources. Transitioning back to US schools was fun after that little stint.
Sevyn13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imitation periods, I like that ๐
gotoucanario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's unto something.
Rowletking24 ยท 908 points ยท Posted at 14:19:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate of mine was GENUINELY surprised to learn of the existence of cocoa beans. He thought previously that chocolate came from brown cows.
"I mean, why else would Hershey's and stuff be called MILK chocolate?"
EDIT: We were in tenth grade at the time.
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 18:38:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My little sister, at age 14, believed taco meat came from taco cows and that it wasn't just seasoned ground beef. She legitimately believed there were cows who produced Mexican seasoned beef.
Warpato ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:49:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know anti immigration sentiment is growing but i really hope we dont statt using Mexicans as seasoning
Ulkhak47 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:36:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boston?
Warpato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:09:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just fat fingers :(
frakking_you ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:57:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be awesome if there were.
Eruannwen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean we're going to be taxed 20% on taco meat now? Thanks a lot, Trump.
karl2025 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God, I hope some geneticists are working on that.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I married a farmer's daughter. I visited their farm and thought I saw a cow produce strawberry milk. I'm very much a city boy. I figured the cow got into some fruit bushes or they fed them strawberries or something. Turns out, she just got put on antibiotics and that was one of the side effects.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, did you taste it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:50 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lactose intolerant, so no.
boxparade ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:06:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I managed to convince my 18-year-old college roommate that chocolate milk came from chocolate cows.
To be fair, she was from the middle east, where they apparently didn't stock milk in any stores and they never had snow. Wisconsin must've been a hell of a shock.
crashtestgenius ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:49:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife had a looooong conversation with a classmate of hers about whether or not cows could be brown. The classmate swore cows could only be white with black spots, and that people were lying to her about the existence of anything to the contrary.
zarazilla ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:37:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a colleague (30+, ex-lawyer) who constantly goes on about how much she loves chocolate. But she doesn't like dark chocolate. So I was telling her about Willie's 99% cacao which you're supposed to shave into your food as an ingredient, and was showing her on the website. She stopped me and said "Is it dark chocolate though?"
I stopped and blinked for a moment, then explained again that it was 99% cacao and she interrupts me again and says "But is it dark chocolate?"
Verizer ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:43:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably doesn't know that milk chocolate is just diluted dark chocolate.
That's not a bad guess, really. You might think there is more than one kind of chocolate plant or something, or a strain of cacao plants called "dark." There are many different kinds of coffee beans, for example.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:41:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And dark roast coffee is essentially the same as regular coffee, just cooked longer. Using that as a basis for your understanding of chocolate, dark chocolate could just be "regular" (milk) chocolate that has cooked longer.
zarazilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excusable perhaps for people who don't eat chocolate that much. But she's always talking about how much she loves chocolate. I don't even eat chocolate that much - maybe twice a year and I know the difference...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:19:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
zarazilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Truth.
LittleDockey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:01:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were Hershey's Chocolate Milk ads in the 70s/80s that would ask "Where does Chocolate Milk come from? A chocolate cow? In a chocolate field? On a chocolate farm?" etc...
Probably took it as fact.
quistodes ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:55:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the question is more "why would you call Hershey's chocolate?"
Joshsed11 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't everyone believe that at one point?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:36:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My father certainly tried to make us kids believe that. I think I actually did, for like 5 minutes.
oceanbreze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It never worked with us because on road trips we would see cows of all sorts of colors.
Imadragonrawrr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before reading the edit I thought this was just some cute second grade story, in tenth that's alarming.
zangywastaken ยท 390 points ยท Posted at 15:34:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elementary student after leaving backpack on the bus: "someone should invent some sort of device that attaches a backpack to a person's body so they don't lose it."
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 00:20:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zangywastaken ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 00:25:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it is called a strap.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 00:57:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Destroyer_101 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:58:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you use the strap you won't have to worry about forgetting it. They asked for it to be attached to the body, the brain doesn't allow you to attach it to the body.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 02:24:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
EmeraldFlight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:01:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get why you're being downvoted
Reddit doesn't have a brain, clearly
cosmo_galaxia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll save ye! Now your even
DasJuden63 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your face clearly doesn't have a brain!
EmeraldFlight ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:18:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
heY
r00D
aussie-vault-girl ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:53:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoulders ?
earthgarden ยท 12801 points ยท Posted at 14:02:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was asked by a crying student once if there was a second moon. We were outside for recess and as happens sometimes, the moon was visible. I said Nope, why and she pointed to the moon and asked but aren't the sun and the moon the same thing? 4th grade student, not special needs or anything. She was crying because the other kids were making fun of her for thinking the sun and the moon were the same thing. After I explained to her the sun did not turn into the moon at night and then back into the sun in the morning (she actually thought the moon was the sun 'turned off'), I did an impromptu science lesson that afternoon with the whole class.
ETA: Wow, so many responses!
To clarify, I wasn't a real teacher, just a sub. In my state we are given provisional licenses to substitute teach and are required to have a BA or BS degree (in any field), but no real training or long term license like real teachers have. My training was a 2-hour orientation, then tossed into the pool so to speak. I did many long-term assignments at this particular school and often did day-to-day assignments, and had subbed for this teacher before, so I knew she'd be ok with me going off her plan for the afternoon. Also the kids' 'special' for that afternoon (specials are classes like music, art, gym) was canceled so we had extra time together anyway.
Some pointed out that doing a special science lesson might have singled out the kid even more and/or made her feel bad, but in my experience from subbing all over this district was that when one student didn't know something fundamental, at least half of them also didn't know. I don't mean to malign this district because education standards have plummeted around the country so its not like the district is unique in that regard, and also many of the students came from very challenging backgrounds that affected their education, ability to learn, and so on. So the lesson turned out quite well, I established from the get-go that no question about our solar system was off-limits or dumb and no one was allowed to laugh or make fun of any question. The kids had a lot of fun.
Like I thought many of the kids didn't know fundamental things about our solar system. Turned out the girl in question was not the only one to have confusion over the sun and moon, and many of the children did not even know that the earth revolves around the sun and not the other way around. The majority of the class could not name other planets besides earth and mars, and the majority of the class did not know how seasons work, why a year is the term it is, or why we have leap years, time zones, etc. It was a very fulfilling afternoon for me and them as each question prompted another question and each answer made them light up. The classroom had a smart board so we could pull up and read information together as each question was asked and answered, which they really enjoyed.
Again not to malign this district, but a big reason the kids were so ignorant was because at this school they simply had not had basic solar system lessons yet...in my day as a child these sort of things were learned in 3rd grade. As a side note, in this district they also do not teach multiplication facts in the 3rd grade; the kids are not required to memorize the times tables at all nor are really taught how to do long division by hand nor are given nearly enough time to learn and understand fractions. This results in all sorts of nonsense when they get to higher math (for example, most of the middle-schoolers and high schoolers could not do math problems at the board because they got stumped when it broke down to multiplying, dividing, anything at all to do with fractions. If they did not have a calculator they could not do it)
Someone asked how the girl is doing now, I'm sorry to say I have no idea. Like quite a few of the students in this district she moved fairly often so I saw her at other schools from time to time for a few years and then stopped seeing her, so either she moved to a neighborhood in a school I refused to go to anymore or she left the district. She'd be about 10th grade now so I hope she is doing well.
Thanks for the comments saying I'm a good teacher, and thanks for the ones saying/implying I wasn't also. I really was not, I didn't have much patience or compassion nor the nerves to deal with many of the changes that happened with education in general in my state nor changes within this district in particular. I subbed for 5 years, and by the end of it my nerves were shot and my mouth had no chill. I intended to become a real teacher; I was in a Masters+ certification program but had a come-to-jesus moment when I realized I simply am not capable of being the effective and caring teacher students deserve. So I had to go. I have no regrets, but I do miss the kids and days like these sometimes.
ETA 2: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
chefranden ยท 12143 points ยท Posted at 15:45:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can bet that some dick uncle was responsible for that.
lshifto ยท 2203 points ยท Posted at 16:12:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am the type of dick uncle to which you refer. Spreading Science like Calvin's dad since forever.
Thank you for recognizing our efforts.
WootyMcWoot ยท 1088 points ยท Posted at 16:36:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've told numerous children that old pictures were black and white because that's how the world was back then, the world didn't turn color until around the 1930s. I'm really hoping to get in trouble from a family member when someone finds out.
TacoinaToaster ยท 363 points ยท Posted at 16:39:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents taught me the wrong words for things, so you're not that bad. Grapes being called "beeps" did make for some funny home videos though
FrostyBeav ยท 159 points ยท Posted at 16:55:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. My family calls grapes "beeps" too. However, it's because when my sister was little, she couldn't say grapes and called them beeps instead.
Freechoco ยท 229 points ยท Posted at 17:16:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you guys sensoring yourselves or is the word literally b e e p s?
[deleted] ยท 290 points ยท Posted at 17:20:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're definitely in the right thread buddy.
frankenchrist00 ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 17:24:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The bleep sensor question reminds me of the old Runescape idiot test.
"This is so cool, jagex automatically bleeps out your password, ****** see?"
"hunter2 did it work?"
CBlackrose ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:38:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was so effective back in the day that you actually can't say your password now. My password back in the day used to be a word that I would use fairly often in game, so it was a huge pain in the ass for me because I would type a sentence that had nothing to do with passwords and it would go "Hey now, don't be giving out your password to people".
rossow_timothy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:23:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just said "back in the day" twice. How old are you?
CBlackrose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mad? It was like ten years ago, that's enough to be "back in the day" for me. It's a period of time that doesn't exist anymore in my life.
barricuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah the scam then changed to saying your password backwords
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't heard that one in awhile.
ejeebs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did just say he was old.
Theepicr ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:24:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh my fucking God, my sides
tehlemmings ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're one of todays 10000, congrats.
It amazes me how long that bash quote has lasted while still finding people who haven't seen it lol
frankenchrist00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Using magic, I can increase the 10,000 to 20,000.
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
Cirevam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm partial to "also my landmine collection is gone" but I believe that's a relatively recent one.
arcanascu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
Cirevam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://bash.org/?953518
FuriousClitspasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
ChristophColombo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:18:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The original hunter2 meme was actually from an IRC log, not Runescape.
frankenchrist00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That cites it being submitted to bash in 2004, anyone playing RS had already saw that trick being used all over Runescape from 2001-2003. I know because I stopped playing after 2003 and that was a common tactic being thrown around varrock square hoping to catch a trader slip up who actually held items of value. For all we know it goes back to the mid 90's chat rooms. It's likely as ancient as long as multiplayer chatrooms existed.
daedone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IRC is "the mid 90's chat room". This was a known thing well before 2001; we used to joke about it in highschool, and I graduated in 2000. Some of us even remember the Great Split, or the reason EFnet is called, well, E F net. Here, go down the rabbit hole yourself.
frankenchrist00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Talkcity.com predates IRC, that was up mid 90s
Jarix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man that's fantastic. Reminds me of OG Battlenet games. "Press alt f4 to fix your lag" "User Jarix.totally.never.fell.for.this has left the game"
barricuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that wasn't an idiot test.... that was a scam. people who say that would have the password change screen open and would change your password right away then friend you and drop trade all your stuff the moment you log off.
Malfeasant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tomato, tomato...
frankenchrist00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who played years of classic way before beta came out for rs2, here's how it actually worked. You didn't have to wait for them to log off, you could change the password and login with the new one while they were still online and it immediately forced them offline and unable to log back in, no waiting necessary. Then you were free to do whatever you want until they answered the security questions and steal it back again. And believe me it was an idiot test, only idiots fell for it and usually had nothing worth stealing. This was back banks had no pin numbers and a rune 2h was worth over 1m gold since only 2 people on earth could make it, and it being the strongest weapon in the game while looking identical to a rune longsword. There were 5 total servers, you'd pick one of the top 3 and go north of Varrock for all the pvp you could ever want, the wealthiest guys with pure strength and 10 defense who would initiate with an addy 2h and swap to the rune 2h mid fight destroyed everything. If you saw a guy in black armor holding a blue sword that was lvl 65+, fighting him was unavoidable death, you used to be locked into 3 swings before being allowed to run, that was a 3 shot killer with 99 strength no defense and the minimum attack for the 2h, the origin of the pure. Then given the incredible cost of losing a rune 2h, many picked up just enough prayer to save 1 item and the new place of battle was north of the prayer alter next to edgeville, the new uniform of death was nothing but monk robes, a strength ammy and a rune 2h, 1 strength pot and as many lobsters as you could carry.
Then beta came out for members, where they took a copy of your real account and pasted it to beta with zero gold and items, but you had your skills and they had a few quests available, I remember within 3 hours of beta going live, I ran waterfall quest, quickly made and sold studded steel leather armor and bought a server first dragon longsword from the shop for 100k. Then ran out to wildy in addy armor bought from shops with my red sword and people were losing their minds wondering how the fuck that was possible to have dragon anything within hours of the beta going live. It was a glorious moment, and the reaction from people switching from the addy green sword to the bright red longsword after fight initiated was priceless. Never been accused of hacks so many times in 1 day.
barricuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude that was a long time ago
frankenchrist00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yea, talking around 2001-2003 was when I played that game. I have a yahoo account with account confirmations going back to '01 and some membership $5 charge email confirmations in 2003, I was logged in the day the halloween masks dropped and remember going between the 5 servers in lumbridge area collecting around 50-60 total before they stopped spawning in the evening.
Stewart805 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like I just got your runescape account
jfb1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it actually DID block your PW, at least I remember it did when I last played about 7-10 years ago because my password was a word I sometimes tried to use in a conversation
frankenchrist00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in classic or early rs2. You could freely type your own password like an idiot. I'm talking from 13-16 years ago 2001-2004
RememberPants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
disguisedeyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I am too. I still have no idea.
urik_heian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You son of a beep! Don't make fun of /u/Freechoco! Beep off, motherbeep.
Ghitzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no stupid questions, only stupid people.
quantasmm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:13:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're censoring themselves. Both families called grapes "cuntballs".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
N O L I M I T S
ConstaChugga ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 17:19:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When i was really little I made my own twisted words for stuff and things.
The most significant ones my familly still remembers (and that I still use sometimes):
Banana - nomane
Daddy - aba
Grampa - geekoo
Mommy - <silence>
dharmonious ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:30:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abba really does mean father I think (Greek maybe?), very cool that that was your word for dad.
ConstaChugga ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:33:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents say its dad in aribic, never really went and fact checked that.
Im more suprised I didnt pick up chinese stuff because mommy'd listen to "learning mandarin" tapes around me.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:43:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sweet-banana-tea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Appa is dad in Korean.
I_am_a_grill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yip yip!
AdonVodka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aba is also dad in Hebrew. Which makes sense lol.
TheOboeMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a middle Eastern language.
Arnold_Layn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is Hebrew. Abba is dad, and eema is mom.
sojahi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is correct.
Dan_ETP ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:50:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hebrew I believe
coldandfromcali ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:59:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, Abba is Hebrew for father.
MayorBee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My my
awesomeblindingyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abba or abbu is also used in punjabi and urdu
okrelax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:56:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hebrew
JHHELLO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:28:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pater is father in Greek
sabasco_tauce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
patera is father but dad (papa') is more commonly used
bonia00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dad is ba, Ba-Bฮฌ or Ba-Bฮฌs in Greek :) EDIT: or Patera for father as others state. But you wouldn't call your dad, father
Mr_Jones_The_Cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:09 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abba is (among other languages) Hebrew for father.
In the New Testament, it is said by Jesus to his disciples that you can call God "Abba" when praying.
In that time, this was a huge deal. People never called God by his name JHWH, they said Adonai which means Lord. When writing JHWH, the writer had to bathe beforehand and the pen was destroyed afterwards. Praying to that god and calling him "father" or even "dad" was unthinkable.
fork-and-spoon ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:24:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mommy issues much?
parkrndl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my daughter (who is 20 now) first started using words, she LOVED Elmo from Sesame Street, but she called him Nanee. No idea why. Then a year or two later as she was stringing sentences together, she somehow coded the word "green" for the word "other", as in "no I don't want that one, I want the green one." Made for no small amount of confusion till we figured out what she was doing...
jaykayel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:20:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me three. I've been told me calling grapes "beeps" was one of funniest things in my early years. Must be a pretty common thing
Huttj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called them "bups" for the same reason.
AmousAnon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:40:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, we're not home right now. Please leave your name and number after the grape!
bluetrunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 5 yo daughter calls ear muffs "ear mops". We didn't teach her that, but we're guilty of not correcting her because it's so cute. We'll pay for it someday when she learns the truth and gets pissed off at us.
mechchic84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always called peas turtle balls. I hated peas. I was eating dinner at my aunt's house and they said I couldn't leave the table until I finished all my food. All that was left was a few peas. I blurted out "But I HATE turtle balls!" My cousins were laughing and I got in a bit of trouble for using inappropriate words at the table until they realized it was my mom's fault and I had no clue they weren't actually called turtle balls. I think I was 6 or 7.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beeps is our word for boobs
smoike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One thing as a parent that irritates me is kids using the wrong words for body parts, especially genitalia. My kids know what the real names for these are. I've gotten some mortified looks when the proper words were used instead of some mangled baby words (peepee, vuvu, etc) or general vernacular ( dick, fanny). Sure they might say it slightly incorrectly when young, but they'll get it totally right soon enough.
Xiyther ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 16:56:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad used to tell kids that food doesn't go in your mouth, it goes in your ear, just to make them laugh cause kids laugh at silly things.
Well he stopped that after they had to take my nephew to the hospital one night cause his ear was full of gummy bears.
He still has a bunch of other lies he tells children, those haven't stopped, so lesson partially learned there.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:50:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Because that's a photo of when the world was black and white." That is probably my favorite single strip of all time, that one and the points on the record.
ButterflyLashes170 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He should probably show his students the 1998 movie Pleasantville as a gag history lesson for those gullible'lil munchkins.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:21:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrap that one into my lie about what color guard is. Back before they could mass produce colors each town could only make one or two. The world was mostly black and white. Then color started being mass produced, and now color guard at school is to commemorate the brave people who died protecting the colors.
asdf2602 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The world changed to colour about 1/2 through the filming of the Wizard of Oz
GalacticNacho ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:26:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to tell kids that ice floats because it wants to get warm nearer to the sun.
General_GTFO ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 16:50:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yet I've heard stories in threads basically asking the same as this one where people are baffled that some think the world used to be black and white...
Perpetuating ignorance and misconception to a kid that is legitimately asking a question really is a dick move.
SaevMe ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 17:07:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand the sooner kids learn that absolutely everyone is full of shit the better
mechchic84 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:41:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do this stuff to my kids. Now they don't believe half of what I say...
derpaperdhapley ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:12:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're teaching street smarts not book smarts.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:45:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This must be how "folk wisdom" gets entrenched.
yewneeque ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:12:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or learn to have a s nose of humor.
Andy0132 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:32:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not an s mouth?
FlyingWeagle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:05:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
General_GTFO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid being laughed at for being dumb, or a kid that grows up thinking they're always right about even the most blatantly wrong things isn't all that humorous.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We encourage it as a nation. See religion.
yewneeque ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See above comment
General_GTFO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't find it funny because it's not funny, not because I lack a sense of humor.
yewneeque ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you take life way too seriously and I WILL continue to tell my niece chocolate milk comes from brown cows and if you have a problem with that, you need to reevaluate your life.
DrProlapse ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:20:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We also tell children about Santa and other holiday creatures.
We should totes stop lying to kids about dumb shit! Stop the perpetuation of ignorance!
PM_ME_YOUR_BREWS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
idk, i do this to my 3.5 year old all the time and it's working out so far
panchowarriortrilogy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get it. Why are people proud of spreading ignorance?
lemondrop86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then they blame the teachers. Stop trying to make your kid dumber than he already is!
Handsomeyellow47 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg! I legit used to believe this when I was a kid!
Mabye you were my teacher...O___O
wienersoup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its was documented in the wizard of oz
Nnappers ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:39:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is so mean it's funny
txbach ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believed this as a kid, but I don't think anyone told it to me. It just was.
freakinthing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The exact time that the world turned color is documented and you can still see it today. It's in a movie called the Wizard of Oz
AdhesiveSquarePaper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Born in the 80's, developed this theory on my own as a kid.
Therapy-Jackass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I actually believed this for a long time as a child.
SweetSummerWind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Calvin and Hobbes comic being referenced by some for anyone wondering.
A few other of Calvin's dad messing with his view of reality:
http://www.s-anand.net/blog/calvin-and-hobbes-dad-explains-science/
HBinno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me the same thing but I wasn't dumb enough to believe it
scyth3s ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like that you think you're smart, but really you were just at the wrong age when he told you.
WalkAMileInMyUGGS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad taught me that. Fucked me over later. 0/10 do not recommend.
Kjartanthecruel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of kids who come into my class who have that misconception is phenomenal. They are only young and I would say out of every class I have ever taught there are at least a handful of kids who have that misconception.
I think what I am trying to say is, well done sir, fair play.
matt-s-perrin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about the earliest colour photography back from the 1800s?
UptightSodomite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some pictures are black and white because the photographers were colorblind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotta borrow that for my nieces.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Animal science major here. Have convinced multiple people that dogs don't feel the cold.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's technically harmless, but you're a terrible person
Brotherauron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kind of sentiment is the exact reason why being an uncle is awesome.
ubiquitous_apathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember asking my mom how come blue's clues isn't black and white since I've been watching it for so long. I figured things became b/w after being old.
MetalJunkie101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're close. Water fountains and bathrooms stayed black and white until the 60's.
MerlinTrismegistus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suggested to my cousin after he first watched the wizard of OZ that the moment the film turns to technicolor was the moment the world changed to colour. He told me to shut the fuck up. Little bastard.
AdvocateForTulkas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still one of my favorite jokes with children. Which is great because I'm not even over 30 yet. "Back in my day color hadn't been invented yet."
I may still be having too much fun realizing recently that children view me as "an adult." Hahaha.
karl2025 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I keep telling my nieces that monsters are real and if they aren't really quiet and still then the monsters in their closet will come out and eat them.
They don't believe me...
Keasbyjones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's worth remembering, also, that the early internet was in black and white. It would close down at 10pm and we'd all stand to sing God save the Queen.
flarn2006 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-8900-ex
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young, I didn't just believe that - I could tell you exactly when the world switched from black and white to full color.
It was halfway through the filming of The Wizard of Oz.
shuckemup123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And even then it was pretty grainy color until the mid-80s.
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then the SCP foundation had to go around scrubbing everyone's memories of the black and white world.
jadelw27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did something similar. Until I was 6, he had me and my sister convinced that the world was black and white until colour televisions were invented (1956 in Australia). Then everything became colourful.
uptokesforall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes this is indeed the case. Blame scp 8900 for the new color spectrum
Mr_Jones_The_Cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:23 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently told my little brother that for women, the adam's apple is called eve's pear. He believed.
no_egrets ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 16:46:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/ExplainLikeImCalvin
Cocomorph ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:40:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before clicking that, I swore an oath that, if it wasn't real, I would destroy everything you have ever loved.
jazzsolocup90 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:04:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was legitimately nervous when I clicked on it. I have never wanted anything more.
penisbees ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 16:41:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still keep his "The wind is just trees sneezing" explanation up my sleeve to mess with whatever little heads I come across in my family.
mechchic84 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:42:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought wood popping in a campfire was bugs exploding. Thanks mom!
Rioraku ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:09:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say the wind is trees breathing to make it a little creepier. The gusts are sneezing.
penisbees ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the wind is trees breathing, then gusts are trees heavy breathing. Storms are just trees jackin' off.
Man, I'm really gonna piss off some family with this version.
rutroraggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, like my older brother told me. "The trees make the wind by flapping their branches back and forth". Yep, I believed that shit until first grade.
letmeexplainitforyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That child learned several valuable lessons that day, but the hero of the story is /u/earthgarden for turning it into a learning experience for everyone.
Rapier_and_Pwnard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like don't trust anyone, even the ones that supposedly care about you?
to_the_elbow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:58:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to say "or dad"...
http://i.imgur.com/nRsAAgQ.jpg
lavahot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a goddamn monster.
Brogener ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always liked his explanation that old photos were black and white because the world didn't come into color until like the 70s.
sniperbAit77777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're putting in some good work, chief.
PM_me_PaintedToes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Calvin & Hobbes
panchowarriortrilogy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ignorance spreader. Great....
Brondog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:38:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick uncles FTW!
o/
dtwithpp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:05:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐโญอสโฎอกยฐ )
Brondog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
darkshadow17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than uncles dick
FR_FX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tried telling my niece she came from a store, didn't go well.
pes_laul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/ExplainLikeImCalvin/
Kitropacer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I aspire to be in life
lickthecowhappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boy, the trees are sure sneezing today!
northbathroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too enjoy giving my nieces and nephews this type of keen insight
denvit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop doing that. And turn on the sun
Asthoughihadwings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle once convinced me he was an alien due to his "odd shaped head". My summer Christian school class was outer space themed that year, so I made sure to inform everyone.
TheDesktopNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is our right as uncles. It's a way to keep annoying our siblings throughout adulthood.
bespoketoosoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/explainlikeimcalvin
Arnold_Layn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know the next conversation that I am going to have with a couple of nieces of my acquaintance...
JulietJulietLima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to be careful since I because a father but I sure told my nephew some absolute bullshit before that.
Ziograffiato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/ExplainLikeImCalvin
MerlinTrismegistus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're doing God's work, son.
IAmScience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
the_girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's windy out - the trees are really sneezing today.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle told me vegetable oil comes from fish
Warshok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told a 4yo kid that the trick with catching enchiladas is that you have to hold them underwater until they stop kicking.
DickIomat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! Oh! Me too! Recognize me! Am uncle. Am dick. Thanks.
felesroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is actually important to teach kids about questioning authority and applying critical thinking. They should learn that you can't believe something just because an authority figure tells it to you. That maybe looking into their claim and seeing if others agree is important.
Keep it up!
ghostwarrior369 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:37:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No shit. One time when I was a tiny kid, I went to the zoo and saw a yellow boa constrictor. It was dope, but my dad said it was a banana snake and it was the only snake to eat bananas.
That was an embarrassing day in 1st grade biology.
PirateKilt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:40:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might have been an equally ignorant parent.
Wife (now ex) about age 26, talking to our then 4 year old...
Kiddo: "Mom, why is the sky blue?"
Her Mom: "Oh, it's just reflecting the ocean, that's why it's blue."
Me: "Heheh, that's a good one... but tell her the truth now."
Her Mom, giving me aggravated, confused look: "What do you mean? That is why the sky is blue..."
stationhollow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you explain it there and then? I imagine that results in a pissed off wife
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a nephew and niece who are around my age. My nephew is a year younger and my niece is three or four years younger. We're all very close and basically grew up like siblings.
So, at some point in our childhood we (nephew and I) convinced our niece that sharks can't see black people. It's a weird science thing that no one can explain. We had a good laugh about it and after a while completely forgot.
Many years later my niece is sitting with her boyfriends family (who would soon become her in laws), and they were watching a show about shark attacks. I don't remember the exact scenario but basically this surfer had survived a shark attack and was telling the story. That must have triggered something in my niece's brain and before she could stop herself she said "wow, too bad he wasn't black!".
I wasn't there but she said that as soon as she said it out loud she realized how ridiculous it was. It's been almost fifteen years now and we all still give her a hard time about it.
Reggler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am dick uncle.
12DollarLargePizza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Dick Uncle!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:48:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I am noting that for when I become an uncle pretty soon. Don't teach bullshit to your niece.
ToastyMustache ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:58:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here; I'm torn between my love of passing on factual information to others, and my love of messing with people.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:00:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate to that. but for the good of the future we should probably indulge in the passing on factual information thing.
FRESHMAPLEPOUTINE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about passing on alternative facts?
Doingitwronf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Horse shit it is then
theguyshadows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am new uncle.
Do plan to be that uncle. :D Suck it sis.
indie_eric ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am that uncle. My sisters kids dont trust me at all.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Uncle Dick!!
Connoire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am an uncle and I can confirm we do this shit.
dwkfym ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle convinced me that giraffes make noises that sound like 'Girin Girin!' which is what giraffes are called in Korean. I believed him because even at age 6 or whatever I knew things can be named after the sound it makes, so it sounded plausible.
kikithemonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's glorious retribution for something shitty your brother did growing up that he doesn't remember and you'll never forget.
GAME ON.
Codylee88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Source: Am that kind of uncle
ActThree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told everyone of my nephews that there are only 8 planets now because Pluto crashed into Neptune in 2002.
bertcox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:39:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just sprayed spit on my keyboard, thanks.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:46:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wait for my brothers to have children
Niccccccccccccccccck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't remind me of my uncles dick...
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah fuck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie sounds like some shit I'd do
iismitch55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it was probably just a leftover memory from a childhood bedtime story. We make up all kinds of things to entertain kids, and you would be surprised what sticks around.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle used to give me some dick.
shapu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could have been a dad.
snarky_answer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the fun uncle?
MissNye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not just Uncles....
As an Aunt, my favorite one when the littles are around 3yrs old is the good old, "Milk comes from white cows...Chocolate milk comes from Brown cows...And you gotta shake 'em real well to get milkshakes to come out."
Advocate_Diplomacy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun is fun, but you've got to be careful for this very reason. My girlfriend and her mother had our daughter convinced for a while that her grandmother was a Spice Girl. I put an end to that with a similar scenario in mind. Kids can be ruthless.
joehx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when i read that i switched uncle and the other word... i was horrified for a moment
duckyblinders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or some really shitty fundy parents.
DrHolz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit! I read that as "you can beat your dick" by mistake ๐๐
bustemup4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister just had a kid, I'm going to have to remember this one
TheBrentals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pretty sure her dad is the same person as Calvin's dad
__JDQ__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That and the molestation.
Fartbox_Virtuoso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The worst kind of uncle, IMHO.
drummyfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I love to do that. I once told my little cousin that all cats are imported from Egypt because cats can only hatch from their eggs in the sunny Egypt.
-_FearBoner_- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am dick uncle.
onyxandcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moms can be dicks too. I fill both my son's heads with utter nonsense for shits and giggles. I had the oldest convinced we import all our trees (in Canada) from Brazil, and are responsible for the depletion of the rain forest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name's not Richard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or dad.
When I was a kid, I asked my father what thunder was. He told me it's the sound weather makes when it's "trying to make the rain stop." It took me until about age nine to piece that out as him messing with me.
Iamaredditlady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This situation is exactly why I don't think it's harmless to tell kids that kind of stuff.
They get humiliated when they sound like fucking morons.
Sharrakor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A startling number of adults believe this.
KnoeYours3lpH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost spit up my sandwich on this one... thanks
walesmd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the dick father. My wife gets on to me all the time because I forget to circle back around and tell the children these things aren't true. At least once a week, they run to her sharing these amazing facts they learned from dad only to be utterly destroyed.
Maybe I can pass this off as teaching them about fake news and being gullible?
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I can almost understand the logic, if you're a kid and you've never been told differently. But 4th grade is kind of old to be that confused. Like, in nine years of your life, you've never seen the moon during the day?
ajxdgaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
Femiwhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually a pretty reasonable assumption to make
-zimms- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it was Stephen Fry. If that man ever asks you how many moons the Earth has, don't answer!
ginjaninja405 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Uncle JEFF.
BertMacGyver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, my bad.
Outragedsock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Id say some shitty older sister.. you know how long I thought the moon was made out of cheese?
-youngest of three
thedistrbdone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you Uncle Dick!
TheycallmeShadley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐ป๐๐ป๐๐ป
MasterhcSniper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you too!
findtheninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a boyfriend. I convinced my girlfriend that peace officers were amputees. She bought it for quite a while, and smacked me when I asked her, "Why else would the be called piece officers? They're just the pieces.."
Boney_Stalloney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry that was probably me . I used to drink a lot.
EasyMrB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or parents who preferred cutsie explanations to educating their children. /pet-peeve
MasterBaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We taught him wrong, as a joke.
nythnggs4590 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/explainlikeimcalvin
sativa_1620 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes can confirm dick uncles do spread such alternative facts.
Higher_higher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as "uncle dick" for second and kinda shuddered.
ZeusHatesTrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as an uncle, can confirm I'd say something like that.
MizureKousaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hm.. if no one would explain it to me, i can imagine that i would think the moon and the sun are the same thing, but maybe its just me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it was calvin's dad
bwrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick uncle reporting in. I convinced a neice that our poop is brown because we have to eat dirt sometimes to help with digestion. That her mom was sneaking dirt into her cereal in the morning to give her her daily needed.
chrisjjs300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally misread this, thought it was a result of some childhood tragedy
Nepharyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My only niece just turned 2. I have been shirking duties as an uncle. Time to step up my game.
Grande_Latte_Enema ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did the Uncle separate the moon from the sun? Is he an Olympian god?
JustinGitelmanMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit.. Why did you have to associate dick and uncle and high school girl in one sentence?
flamedarkfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... Will not be that kind of uncle.
Artful_Dodger_1832 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm that uncle
Rodents210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, not really. This is a weirdly common assumption.
Kokirochi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic uncle dick
speedracer1213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once told my younger sister that saliva was just your mouth sweating.
Krusade38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't all uncles have dick?
samfi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's an odd realization when you slip into the role of "that uncle" without noticing. over xmas holidays I off-handedly explained to a nephew the reason that some medieval lego guys had a halberd instead of a sword was that it's better at penetrating the helmet and doing more damage.
only later, as he exitedly relayed the information to his mom, I realized it perhaps wasn't yet suitable information for a 5yo
mrthescientist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be that guy.
soggycupcakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna be an uncle in May. Now I'm even more excited
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
funny, Some Dick Uncle is the name of my favorite My Gay Uncle cover band.
kebechette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told my cousin that nuclear power plant stacks were the world's cloud makers. He believed it we into his teens.
DPS2004 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or calvins dad.
kebechette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told my cousin that nuclear power plant stacks were the world's cloud makers. He believed it we into his teens. My dad is the dick uncle.
_atomic_garden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a parent who just didn't do well in school, and reasoned it out on their own (poorly). I was amazed how many people were furiously taking notes in my college astronomy 101 course when the professor explained that the sun is in fact a star.
And just in case anyone's never thought it through: the phases of the moon aren't caused by Earth's shadow, it's caused by how much of the side of the moon currently facing the sun is visible from your current position.
Hydris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uncle dick usually is the cause of a lot of childhood problems.
rjniveklaiciffo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uncle Dick here. Can confirm. We always tell nieces and nephews things such as this.
adisplacedcanadian ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 15:44:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something she may have gotten from her parents, because they thought it was cute or funny.
notmaurypovich ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:19:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger I honestly thought the moon was following me for the longest time.
My parents thought it was cute and funny.
Was not a laughing matter to me
I wasn't that bright
OKImHere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither was it
TorgoTheWhite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or they were dumb AF
HoodedPotato ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 15:28:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you! You sound like a great teacher :). Do you know how the girl is doing now?
TheKocsis ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:22:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually she feed herself with that embarassment and went on to become an astronaut
HoodedPotato ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:59:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not OP though.
Skitty_Skittle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because they dont share the same username doesn't mean its not OP. Besides why would TheKocsis ever lie to you?
AdityaRav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By hand
damnedspot ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 14:56:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually like this idea! Maybe I'll use it over at r/worldbuilding.
BigDisk ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 15:29:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welp, the other side of the world is fucked.
alex3omg ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:33:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Everyone knows the sun goes into the underworld at night.
tlalocstuningfork ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:40:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Screw the Australians. They deserve the cold.
WebbieVanderquack ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:49:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But we have given the world kangaroos!
DoomBringerDANTE ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! You think that makes up for Emus? Nothing makes up for the Emu.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:01:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lest we forget...
https://youtu.be/QOPZQHTNUs0
zedority ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. The mispronunciation of emu is really grinding my gears.
Note to Americans: it's eem-you, NOT ee-moo.
BurningPickle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but you also gave us the Sydney funnel web, one of the most venomous spiders in the world. Enjoy your second ice age! :D
TheRockGiant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless there actually is a second sun/moon on the other side that turns "on" when the other one turns "off."
Of course that completely fucks the rest of that solar system, and changes how that world works, but, hey.
_atomic_garden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar but probably very different effects from tidal locking. I think it was Niven who wrote about a tidally locked world where there was a constant wind pattern carrying cold air towards the star close to the ground and warm air flowing at higher altitudes back to the dark side. Habitable only where it was permanently dusk.
probablyhrenrai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username.
PM_ME_STEAM_CODES__ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if there's a lightswitch on the back and a god has to flip it.
thekidintheyachthat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1Q84 did a pretty good job of using the idea of two moons as an indication something is wrong with the world. You should check it out.
LeakyLycanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just found a tabletop RPG set on a disc-shaped planet called Coinworld, where the two sides are geographically identical, but very different otherwise. Neat idea.
WebbieVanderquack ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 15:48:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was a great way to handle that.
Bizoza9 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, 4th grade, kids making fun of her, and stuck doing a science lesson on the sun and the moon? I kind of doubt that she was treated better for it. It almost singles her out for more ridicule.
dude_icus ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:51:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most 4th graders aren't going to think that long about it. Also, if this little girl was confused on some things, I can guarantee there were other kids in the class who learned something from that lesson.
Bizoza9 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:41:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I guarantee some kids learned from it. I just think you underestimate 4th graders. Sure, there are those with ADHD, and all of that, but many of them are far more cognizant than you are giving credit for.
dude_icus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:43:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I realize that. I would just like to hope they aren't that spiteful about it. Of course, elementary school was the worst time for bullying for me, so maybe kids really are just that mean.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:32:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bizoza9 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how you haven't come at this with the fact that they are 4th graders in mind at all.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:55:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Trinilos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:46:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tutored groups of K-12 students for 5 years, and you're correct. The caustic attitude that the guy you're talking with really doesn't happen all that much, if at all, in 4th-5th grade. That kind of shift generally happens around grades 7-8. Until then, kids generally let things go pretty quick. That's still the age when someone can be your best friend one week, your enemy the next, and your best friend again the next.
Dovahkiin47 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:13:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it would almost seem to the kids that the teacher is in on the joke now.
WebbieVanderquack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would have been pretty easy for the teacher to demonstrate that all the kids were in some way deficient in their knowledge about the sun and the moon.
anon2309011 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:56:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically there is more than one moon.
jsue75jd7 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 16:35:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are many moons, but only one Moon.
Good_bot ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:14:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really hard to pronounce capital letters though.
HonoraryMancunian ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:55:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Cap-i-tal let-ters."
Nah that was easy.
ITS-A-JACKAL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:01 on June 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take your upvote and GET OUT
whoops forgot I was browsing ancient threads haha
HonoraryMancunian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:26 on June 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me, how does one even come across such an old thread?
ITS-A-JACKAL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:39 on June 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too askreddit threads of all time, scroll down
HonoraryMancunian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:03:34 on June 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's nice to be part of history, however insignificant.
Ulftar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's no moon
mfb- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But all the others orbit other planets.
CrabbyBlueberry ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:46:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is not entirely accurate. The Moon is Earth's only permanent natural satellite, but other natural satellites of Earth have existed before. List on Wikipedia.
mfb- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, but they are not called moons if they are just there for a few years, or if they are tiny. Not every dust particle in Saturn's rings is a moon.
konaya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Key word being โexistedโ. There is no other moon than the Moon.
anon2309011 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't negate their existence.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:27:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't make them relevant either.
konaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quasi-satellites aren't moons.
anon2309011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google moons, tell me how many there is.
konaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're talking about moons of Earth, unless you are being wilfully obtuse.
anon2309011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The word technically would imply so.
LordNinjaFox ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:02:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually adorable.
konaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a five-year-old, sure. But in a ten-year-old?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pacrift ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:37:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's still adorable.
MrLennon30 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At this summer camp i work at another counselor thought the same thing, only she had just graduated from high school. She was also a shitty counselor, when her camper wanted to color or do crafts, she would refuse because she didn't feel like doing her job. She was an overall shitty person, and I'm glad she isn't welcome to come back to camp.
mnjiman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:30:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are the chances that they are the same person? >.>
esach88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:09:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you this was from her parents. It was something they told her when she was a bit younger and just never corrected it.
openglfan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the student's name Alan Davis? I could understand his confusion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGgmmX-dzgU
lozzero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:19:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always wonder about the parents when things like that happen. I'd like to think it was a joke gone too far, but I've had meetings with a few of my maths students and walked out with complete understanding of why the kid is failing with their times tables.
tavenger5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:28:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True story: About 15 years ago, I was in the car with my dad running errands in the afternoon.
He looks up and says "huh, that's the moon..."
I said "yeah dad, you've never seen the moon during the day?"
He laughs and says "no, I never noticed it before!"
Now 15 years ago my dad was 55. He's a smart guy, was in the Navy. Hell, we had a telescope, and watched the discovery channel all the time (when it was actually educational) growing up.
I still make fun of him for that one. I called in a local radio show last year and told the whole Philly area too. He just laughed.
prometheus199 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:59:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww. Kids are so cruel
kaeroku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm reasonably certain there was a fairly tale when I was a kid which explained the moon as the sun going to sleep at night, or something like that. I've also seen many stories like the one you posted here, of children believing the moon = night-time sun. I wonder if the two are related.
mfb- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Moon is visible during daytime about half of the time. How blind do you have to be to miss that?
AlmightyCuddleBuns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG in elementary school i remember the moon was really clear one day, so i commented on it and a girl near me didnt believe me. She was like "the moon only comes out at night stupid" and I just pointed at it and said "its right there". She would NOT look for the entire rest of recess. I could not have been more flabberghasted.
MrDoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believed this when I was really young, but in my defence it was before we came to talk about planets in school.
irunxcforfun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Death Star
Chocobaba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister's friend debated me on the moon and sun being the same thing. The moon went down and would then arise as the sun according to her. She was 15 at the time, I shit you not.
ruslan40 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I vaguely remember thinking this too when I was like 3-4.
I_Am_Not_Me_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fifth grade I went to some camp thing and the teacher asked where the moon got its light. I had heard it somewhere so I spoke up "the sun". Literally everyone broke into laughter. Thank God the teacher defended me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still not as bad as my 30 something year old sister who now beleives the moon isn't real and that it's a projection.
It sounds stupid. She's not stupid, she's degree educated etc. She's just vulnerable and doesn't believe it. She's starting following "David Ike" got her head wrapped up in all sorts of shitty Illuminati lizard people type conspiracy things.
I feel bad for her in a way, can't talk any sense in to her. I wouldn't care if it made her happy, but these things are actually causing her anxiety and she thinks the world will end and that we're in the matrix sort of thing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a somewhat reasonable question for a 4th grader to ask. It'd be a lot worse a couple years later.
joeb1kenobi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Call me crazy but I can totally imagine making it to 4th grade without that knowledge really getting patched up.
passiontiger74 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believed this as a child. Until the day I saw both at the same time. Was probably about grade 4 as well.
Aanar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the sun and moon are pretty close to the same apparent size.
I just wonder how confused she must have been when the moon was visible while the sun was still up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard the same question come out of the mouth of a girl in grade 11.
ceilsuzlega ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a 40 something woman who thought this was the case, how she had reached that age without realising it wasn't amazed me. She worked in accounts.
Denamic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's better than the tourists that come to my home town, wanting to see the midnight sun, thinking it's a second, different sun. These are adults, and they're fairly common.
whatwasmypwagain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class of second graders who, through casual conversation, made me aware that they thought people lived on planets in our solar system other than Earth.
I scrapped my lesson plan and had an impromptu science lesson immediately.
M002 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to explain this to one of my Chinese friends in senior year of college...
She didn't believe me until she saw both at the same time
Rev_Up_Those_Reposts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a post on reddit about a teacher who didn't realize that the moon was often visible during the day (as if the sun and moon are always on polar opposites of the earth). That was probably more egregious than this.
Phillip_J_Fly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 24 year old cousin (mildly religious) posted on Facebook about the end of the world and called her mother, while bawling her eyes out, all because she could see the moon at 3 pm est.
Wiktah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman year college, a friend of mine was absolutely mesmerized at the sight of the moon during day time. She thought it was only a night thing for a good 18 years of life in earth. I tried not to laugh as I noticed a burning smell, probably from the very high degree of embarrassment consuming her internally. Bio-chemistry major, she did great in the end!
aatencio91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor kid.
I love the way you did a science lesson for the whole class. You sound like a good teacher.
DavyShipps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a girl in my 8th grade science class who wasn't aware that the sun was bigger than the earth. As a matter of fact she was surprised to find out the sun was bigger than our school. She thought it was just a small orb floating in the sky. She found out when we went on a class trip to the planetarium.
PitzNR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once argued with a 21 year old guy that the moon can be visible during the day sometimes, he wouldn't believe because he "never saw it happened". Fun fact: this happened when I was in the military, the guy was in charge of a sophisticated guided missile system with each missile cost around a million dollars.
rawrvenger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is what you get when parents play jokes on little kids.
B0Boman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By the twin moons...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was she also a contract killer named after a vegetable?
Bohnanza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, she is not the first person in history to be confused by the fact that the sun and moon appear to be about the same size.
lesserley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That'd actually really freaking cute. Sad but cute
ConorHickey0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As far as I know earth has 4 or 5 moons just that one is massive and visible the others are not. Source: QI
Siouxsie871 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you see her again, you should show her this standup clip.
Granfallegiance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And they'll tell you black is really white
The moon is just the sun at night
And when you walk in golden halls
You get to keep the gold that falls
It's heaven and hell, oh noooo
Obsidian_Veil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, that's no moon...
wayne-scales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/D1zuAQAhhMI?t=28s
shane_low ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't there an episode of QI where they said earth had more than one moon?
iseeapes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hm, this is probably the least dumb of the questions I read.
I mean it's wrong, of course. But it's beautiful and creative.
Sure, the moon isn't the sun turned off like a lightbulb, but it kinda should be.
nezonhigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, no longer a student, just a man who was once asked by an acquaintance if the moon was the other side of the sun. She was 16 at the time.
Obviously I said yes.
frbeatle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kindergarten I used to live in Fort Worth and thought that when it was sunny there that it was night in Dallas. And vice versa. So when we visited family in Dallas I bought we went through some time portal or something cause 30-45 minutes felt like forever.
whoarethoseguys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife believed that the sun and the moon were the same thing up until 4 years ago. Her excuse for not knowing the that this was false was that no-one had told her.
RTwhyNot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something Calvin's dad would have told him.
jmf145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Family Guy.
redwings1340 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a similar sense, this wasn't one of my students, but one of my co-workers students. He was a bit of a strange one already, quiet most of the time, quite smart, extremely adorable, and prone to crying randomly over the strangest things (second grade). He had a habit of every morning, walking up to our city year team, each person individually, and without saying a word, either bump fists with us, or high five us, and leaving us guessing as to which one he wanted before he did it.
One day, he was crying, and my co-worker approaches him and asked him why. It turned out he was terrified the sun was going to fall. My co-worker had to assure him that the sun was not in fact going to fall, and that she would keep it safe. After the reassurance, he became much happier, and started playing again.
MolotovMan2727 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a girl who was 15 at the time who thought that.
Dick-Almighty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If she was talking about pokemon she'd be right.
psychobreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is me being a dick redditor!
Edit: Second moon type thing for Earth.
OPs_Mom_and_Dad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took some magic purple pills in college once, and after they kicked in I went on a long rant to anyone who would listen about how the moon was "the sun of the night!". Other purple pill users seemed equally as astounded by my notion. Normal people, not so much.
Carry on.
nobbypyles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe in the moon, I just think it's the back of the sun
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a good idea? If kids knew what was going on and were already making fun of her, spending half an hour on "why Suzi was, indeed, an idiot" might just make it worse.
A_Thin_White_Duke ยท 1175 points ยท Posted at 14:18:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the idiotic questions I get are always linked to history (though I'm an English teacher). They have no idea about different time periods or a sense of centuries.
So I get questions such as:
'Why didn't Dickens just get on a plane?' 'Was the Internet not around then (then, being the 1700s)?' 'Were the Victorians around when dinosaurs were?'
And these are 14-16 year olds. It gets even harder for them when thinking about the few decades prior to their existence (ie. The 50s-90s). I wonder if we are all like that a little when we're so young.
Bees_Nation ยท 308 points ยท Posted at 15:58:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Certainly not at those ages.
nubsuo ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:07:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding that's just sad
kneescotts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:47:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i see that, that was a good one
ExcitableQuagsire ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 15:02:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're not.
hamelemental2 ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 17:13:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, when I was 14 I wasn't like "Why didn't Paul Revere just drive a car?"
gvdj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's off by a century but I think this is still relevant/funny
A_Thin_White_Duke ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:24:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So they're just eejits then. As I expected.
cam_putin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:57:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they could just be fucking with you
lvllabyes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:32:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, they're probably just trying to be sarcastic.
NTheGreater ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 17:09:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 year old here, that's just a sad upbringing...
MissLauralot ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:54:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to make joke about people born after 2000 not knowing whether we had electricity in the 20th century or not ... ... nvm
rowanbladex ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 17:46:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly. I'm a HS senior in top classes, I can assure you that at least 70% of people in my grade aren't like that. The other 30%, like you said, just had a sad upbringing and will struggle for the test of their lives.
Mystery--Man ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:38:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might also call it their 'Final Exam'.
[deleted] ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 17:11:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BRFNGRNBWS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:45:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am 14-16, I'm not that dumb
Dreamcast3 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:26:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just your average, everyday, run of the mill stupid. Not this next-level future stupid.
MeshesAreConfusing ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:47:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd expect that from an 8 year old.
ritchie70 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:34:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated from high school in 1986.
I was annoyed then that the history classes didn't cover the Vietnam war, which ended in 1975. Yes I was alive during it, but I was 7 when it ended. It really needed to be covered in high school history.
thefreedom567 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:34:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated high school in 2004. We only talked about Vietnam once. We rarely made it past WWII.
aya_rei00 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:17:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated high school in 2003. We made it to the Korean War because thatโs the war the teacher fought in. Vietnam was barely mentioned. And interesting enough as 9/11 was happening, my history teacher refused to turn on the TV. Because what had happened in the past was more important than what was going on at that very moment in time.
thadeoushasselpuss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
North Carolina does not require anything past WWII to be taught.
thefreedom567 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is where I went to school. That explains some things.
dewymeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only remembering covering anything after WWII in one particular year of History and it reeeeally didn't stick. =(
thefreedom567 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I vaguely remember something about the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, but ehhhhhhhhh.
dewymeg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TBH that doesn't even ring a bell
FatalTragedy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? My AP us history class made it all the way to the end of the cold war (plus a brief little bit on 9/11)
thefreedom567 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:48 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My AP US History class made it to the Vietnam War but it was crammed in at the end and I don't remember much. See: my unconvinced reference to the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution in another comment. We may have gotten a little further than that, but I don't remember. Our books didn't have 9/11 in them, so we never really talked about it. None of my other history classes ever made it much past WWII.
ajohns95616 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It always happens that way. You never get to the last couple chapters in the textbook because you spend so much time on the first half of the book. In high school I remember we barely got past WWII. Definitely didn't get to any of the living presidents.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I wonder if it just wasn't covered because it was still controversial? I remember 9/11 being covered in high school history even though it was 2007 so only 6 years later
ritchie70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think a combination of controversial nature and older teacher (was a WWII veteran) wanting to spend time on "his war" and thinking of it as "current events" not "history."
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:27:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Monarch_of_Gold ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:03:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pulleys, levers, and wedges help.
fbholyclock ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 18:21:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you forgot about humanities greatest invention. The single greatest idea world round that was able to build everything we have ever known, and leading to just about every great marvel we have ever built.
Slavery, because humanity is an asshole.
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:04:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I seem to recall that ants have slaves, too.
fbholyclock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never said slavery was only invented by us! Others in the animal kingdom can be just as great of an asshole.
HeywardH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, yeah, but not human slaves, so who cares?
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what you think. I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
Kiita-Ninetails ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:02:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think of it this way, a lot of things can be done the old fashioned way but it just takes a ton more time. WIth sufficient determination and manpower you can do a lot, just by throwing bodies at it.
seeingeyegod ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:26:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As Loius CK said, "Well, they just threw human death and suffering at them till they were finished"
HeywardH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me wonder how many more ancient temples we would see still around today if they had more advanced engineering.
VannaTLC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think harder, Homer.
Choblach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see why you think that, but it's always an easier solution. Several other people already gave me exact answers, so I'll tell you something about the past that's always good to keep in mind.
People then were very bored. Well, they weren't, but it would be for us. There was a lot less activity and stimulation everywhere (think things like Internet and massive population centers).
But what they could do is get really damn good at things, because there was less to do for mental activity and more to do for manual labor. A guy spends 30 years stacking bricks and he'll get super good at stacking bricks. There are actual lost labor technics because in the modern era we use machines to plan out the same things instead of experience. But modern technology doesn't necessarily mean something can be done that couldn't be done before. Most of the time it just means it can be done faster, cheaper, or most importantly, with a lot less training.
Where aliens start to make sense is because you're imagining doing the task with the abilities you have now. You would need technology to achieve feats of great building. The ancients managed to do the same thing by simply putting in a whole lot of years of experience and several tubs full of elbow grease.
ffffffFFFART ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:12:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I genuinely believe this is an aspect of the information age that we as older people don't understand. Everything is without context on the internet, so history is more abstract and difficult to conceptualize. To these kids, everything just kinda happened at some point and it's just sorta there as a piece of information, a thing people said happened.
apoliticalinactivist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is very true, history is now one of the most important classes (no more part time gym teachers teaching it, hopefully) to learn how to recognize the lack of context and how to find it.
Eiroth ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:06:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a 16-year old, these people sound like a minority, though I can only hope...
someinvisiblehand ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:21:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting. I think that to some degree, we all were like that. It was probably hard for us to imagine as kids not having TVs, or phones, etc.
Monarch_of_Gold ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:06:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, but I grew up in the boonies with antenna TV that had maybe 7 channels. If the wind was blowing too strong we couldn't watch TV and had to find something else to do. Then again, we had large cow pastures around us to play in, so....
someinvisiblehand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just meant it would be hard to conceptualize as a kid that there was a point in time when things like TVs, telephones, cars, did not exist. Just like kids of today would struggle with understanding how something internet did not exist.
Monarch_of_Gold ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was sort of hard to imagine, but not really. Again, though, for me, it's probably because I lived in the boonies and technology wasn't very reliable so basically the only pieces of tech we used regularly were a TV and a prepaid phone. And old third or fourth-hand cars (really banged up. Lot of childhood memories involving an old Crown Vic that could never be put into 2nd gear - 1st and 3rd worked fine, would occasionally turn off in the middle of the road).
I usually compare my childhood to being raised in the 90's because of our limited exposure to technology even though I was born in '95.
And I also remember watching "Little House on the Prarie" when it was a week-long miniseries, so I guess that also helps me visualize life without the technology we have.
burdturgler1154 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:28:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still hard for me to think of the 50s as not being in black and white. It's just my first impression that's stuck.
somekindofhat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:00:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or that WWII wasn't mainly fought by septuagenarians.
TheInsecureGoat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:28:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see the 50s like 50s advertisements and propaganda.
PenguinSnail ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:32:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine it like Back to the Future. Now it's in color!
ironicsharkhada ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:19:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope kids just don't read anymore.
ashesarise ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have to read to know most stuff. I just listened to the teacher lol.
Icsto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you read you would know a lot more.
ashesarise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Picked up on that after I was out of school though. School just didn't work for me. I read a lot now.
peppermint-kiss ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:36:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually Millennials read more than older generations, both presently and when they were the same age.
ironicsharkhada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today's kids aren't millennials. That generation spans from 19-36 year olds. Source: I was born in 1997, so the last of the millennials.
Edit: grammar
peppermint-kiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:00:21 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last of the Millennials was born in 2004 according to Strauss-Howe, which is the model I ascribe to. But yes, today's youngest kids (<11) are not Millennials, I agree. I don't see why we should suspect they read any less though either.
bustahemo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:31:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is not really that difficult to understand.
There is a point where numbers just do not actually make sense in our minds, no matter how well we understand something.
As a practice for this, imagine a dollar bill in front of you (americans. Do the equivalent for all you less awesome people ;)) You can do it pretty easily.
Now, imagine ten dollar bills in front of you. Still possible. Not exactly difficult.
Now, A hundred. A thousand. There, we have issues. Even seeing one hundred dollars bills, we have issues with determining just how much it is by sight. In our minds, it is just a stack or a large spread of dollar bills.
The equivalent is not being able to fully comprehend what 100-300 years means in technological terms. I mean, there are still people who believe that Cleopatra was around when the pyramids were raised. Except that Cleopatra is, as I just pulled up an example, closer to seeing an iphone than she was to seeing the construction of the pyramids. (The Great Pyramid was built cerca 2560 BC, while Cleopatra lived around 30 BC.) https://www.quora.com/Cleopatra-lived-closer-to-the-creation-of-the-iPhone-than-she-did-to-the-building-of-the-Great-Pyramid-Is-this-true-And-how
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Penn explains it with
M&M'scandy-coated chocolates here, if anyone wants a visual example instead of relying on their imagination (or for those people who are literally unable to picture things in their head).bustahemo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember having watched at some point in the past. Forgot how hilarious Penn can be. Thanks for the reminder!
apoliticalinactivist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your point is sound, but I disagree with your example.
That is more a lack of knowledge of the history of Egypt and when the transition between "ancient" and "modern" Egypt happened.
I like the money example, since it's so common in movies and tv. Lazy (more likely broke) scriptwriters think 10k or 1mil dollars is a lot of money in the context of the characters.
They regularly show "rich" people with bodyguards willing to die for them, stressing over a million dollars. If you can afford a penthouse in NYC or a "compound" with a helipad, 1mil dollars might sting a bit, but certainly not to the level you'd want to die over. I mean, just hand over two of those super cars.
Same with the generic "briefcase full of stacks of 100s", if each bundle is 10k, an entire briefcase full would be 100 stacks, much fewer than the number shown in the briefcase.
NorthDakota ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a really great time for a fun history timeline lesson
A_Thin_White_Duke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much what my lesson turned into in one particular lesson, when the kids were getting confused about the different technological advancements, art and fashion in decades.
I put the 1850s on one end of the board and the 2010s on the other end (of a large double board) and spent almost an hour moving through history with key events, inventions, artistic movements etc. I'm not sure how much they got but they were asking lots of engaging questions, which I always think is a good sign.
Duncan__Idaho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of University. I got a degree in History, and I remember taking a class on 20th Century American Politics around the year 2005 and the professor refused to cover Watergate because it was "too recent." (She went up to 1968 and the election of Nixon and stopped.)
I had another class around the same time, 2005 or 2006, on the Cold War. The professor refused to cover the end of it. We got to the mid-80s, pre-Perestroika, and stopped.
I think a lot of that had to do with the professor's ages, and their specific areas of expertise, but it still annoys me.
ameliabedelia7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 10 year old kid I was babysitting for asked me if there was television when I was a kid. I'm 25.
WaldenFont ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would lose my shit at age seven or eight when my friends would mix up playmobil sets, and equip union soldiers with walkie-talkies. I tried to reason with them, but apparently I was the only one allergic to anachronisms.
ms_bomb_diggity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this problem but not to that extent. In my school system, we're taught prehistory, then thru to modern times. Then we do it again. And again. More in depth each time. So you have very little reference as to what happened at the same times
flyingwind66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe it has to do with being well-read and parents... I read a lot of books growing up, my dad watched tonnes of documentaries and my mom loved historical movies.
seeingeyegod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
definitely
yewneeque ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, no we weren't. They are products of being born in the most relaxed and comfortable age in modern history. I didn't have a smartphone until I was 19. I'm adamant that they adversely affect cognitive thinking abilities...Or maybe I'm just really stoned....I should get back to work...
doctorocelot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took until I was an adult to fully start piecing when stuff was together. All through school you learn history topic by topic so it just becomes this mish mash of things that happened, it's only once you have lived more than a couple of decades and appreciate what the '00s and '90s were that you can tangibly quantify what the 30s or 1850's or whatever are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And when they turn 18, they have the right to vote!
JohnnyFoxborough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think some of them are just messing with you.
niklopolisz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
16 year old checkin in. These guys are in some special care program right?
DarrelleRevis24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell not only when we are young, most people can't fathom that there was a time in human civilization where people didn't have alarm clocks or set times to do everything in their day. It's a completely foreign concept to how we live today.
The-Real-Mario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could be a nice idea to get a roll of fax paper, unroll a long strip and make a time scale of the last 2000 years , make it long enough to go around 2 walls of the classroom, with big labels and drawings to marc dig events and eras, and the lifes of important people,
Lentil-Soup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The internet has made history difficult to understand.
ajkp2557 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Off topic question, but is your grammar correct in your second example question correct? Genuine question since I am terrible with commas. My inclination would be to put "then" in the parenthetical in quotation marks, but you used a comma. Which is correct?
realyak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickens was 1800s. 19th century.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as someone who teaches college freshmen English: they do not improve
95percentconfident ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a classmate in grade 9 postulate that the dinosaurs may have contributed to the fall of Troy.
OldeHickory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid who thought 800 years ago humans did not exist. All of human history happened in 800 years.
obitrice-kanobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No pretty sure we were never that bad
sonofawitch1983 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I directed a production of Bye Bye Birdie which of course takes place in the late 1950s. While staging the iconic "Telephone Hour" number one of the kids actually stopped me and asked, "Why do we have these old phones and not cellphones? I mean, didn't they have cell phones in the '50s?"
A little part of me died that day.
The_quest_for_wisdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught a history activity at an outdoor education center. The kids were constantly asking why the early settlers of the area didn't just call 911 for any life threatening emergency. After all, all of the kids had brought their cellphones along for the fieldtrip. Why wouldn't the settlers just throw a cellphone in the back of their wagon? The kids were usually in middle school.
HollowScope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still have issues knowing what came first and in what order. It was just never laid out on a timeline for me to see.
Dinosaurs, then extinction, then?? I'll have to google a timeline later.
tylerchu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 10th grade, one of my classmates asked in all seriousness if Abe Lincoln was black. His reasoning was that since nobody liked black people back then, only a black man would want to help them. But since nobody liked blacks, how did a black man get voted president?
cool_weed_dad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it's probably kind of difficult for kids nowadays to really grasp what things were like before the internet was ubiquitous.
I'm 26 so I grew up alongside the rise of the internet. My parents are pretty tech-savvy so we had a nice computer and AOL almost as soon as it became a thing, so I pretty much grew up using the internet since I was around 6 or 7.
Kids now are growing up using the internet and smartphones pretty much from toddler age, so they don't have any real concept of what things were like before computers took over. It's not a bad thing, just the way technological progress works, but it colors their perspective on the past.
Blugentoo2therevenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, we were not.
wish_to_conquer_pain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach English at a community college. About half my students thought that the Vikings ransacked Europe roughly 40 years before the Nazis did.
SomnambulisticTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:17 on February 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, no we're not.
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:35 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair we do have a weird since of history like a lot of people don't know that mammoths still existed when the pyramids were being built. Also trains were invented before bicycles.
shane201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think the number of the century people talked about was actually just the shortened version of the full year. Like 15th century meant years1500s to 1599, etc...
OrinMacGregor ยท 475 points ยท Posted at 14:34:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grade honors chemistry, topic is states of matter.
"What would liquid ice be called?"
We're still not sure if he was making a joke about the short-lived Ice Breakers mints "Liquid Ice" because everyone was laughing too hard.
lfantine ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:11:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Supercooled water?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:17:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
landon0605 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:57:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well what is it?? You just going to leave me hanging here?
te-freddy-faz-doctor ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:42:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its ice
Yggsdrazl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:33:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar note, is there such a thing as solid water? Like non-crystalline ice?
alloctone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:06:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's amorphous ice, which occurs when water is cooled very rapidly, not giving the water molecules enough time to form themselves into crystals.
BlackGhostPanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How rapidly.
Yggsdrazl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome, thanks!
Dallagen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would assume no, as h2o molecules are polar and forming in a non crystalline structure wouldn't be able to support itself
alloctone ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:08:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes there is! It's called amorphous ice, which occurs when water is cooled very rapidly, not giving the water molecules enough time to form themselves into crystals.
Dallagen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting
NonaSuomi282 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, isn't supercooled water basically liquid ice?
ziggrrauglurr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it ICE-7 or one of those? Water below freezing temp, super cooled but at high pressure?
vape_angel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if he's like my boyfriend's uncle and tries to wait for water to melt
mzxrules ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the correct answer is slush :)
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically the coast plus Colorado. Oh sorry, thought you states that matter.
Kayak27 ยท 3058 points ยท Posted at 14:05:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach elementary English in Korea. The best question I ever got was, "Teacher, what is 'chicken' in English?"
lost_sock ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 15:29:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are they cognates? Or did the child ask you in English?
doctor-5000 ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 15:48:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken in Korean is ์นํจ, which is pronounced 'Chi-kin,' so it's understandable for a student to ask about its translation. Similar to people asking how to say 'hi' in ASL.
SpecificallyGeneral ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 16:07:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So they're phonetically similar (if not the same)?
Neat/Weird!
Edit: Thanks for the replies, guys! It's all getting added to the Collection of Oddities that is laughingly called my memory.
ProllyJustWantsKarma ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 16:13:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Korean word was loaned from the English word.
[deleted] ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 16:16:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gujayeon ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:19:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would caution from spelling the romanized of ๋ญ with the L as it is not pronounced
fantabularistical ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:32:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so you're telling me the Korean word for chicken is "duck"?
gujayeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:51:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahah "dahk" is more what it sounds like but yeah basically. and duck is "ori" :)
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:50:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I was wondering how that double consonant was pronounced. Why is ๋ญ dak, but ์ is eop instead of eot? Is there some list of priorities?
gujayeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if the final consonant is a double consonant, there is not a fast rule on which one is pronounced. This article covers it really well and actually even brings up both ๋ญ and ์๋ค about halfway down the page! http://www.howtostudykorean.com/unit0/197-2/
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh perfect, thanks a lot for this!
KuntaStillSingle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because while hangul is circlejerked as being a logical and intuitive writing system it still has some really stupid and unintuitive rules/exceptions.
mdds2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe dalk like walk or talk?
gujayeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope it doesn't really sounds like that at all
furlongxfortnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it's pronounced like "duck"?
gujayeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No the "a" doesn't turn magically into a "u" :P
gujayeon ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commented above but fyi
machingunwhhore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of newer words that didn't exist because the technology didn't exist too long ago are just English words said in Hangul.
doctor-5000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. They're cognates.
gujayeon ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:18:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be a pedant but ์นํจ is only relevant sometimes...Like for fried chicken houses. But in general chicken is ๋ญ/"dak"
doctor-5000 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:22:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I trust your judgement here. I don't actually speak Korean, I just know how to read Hangul and say a couple of phrases.
gujayeon ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:36:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew some English teachers who didn't even bother to learn hangul! Sounds like you're doing well so far :) Korean is fun when you get the hang of it
TinFoilBeanieTech ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:08:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the correct answer is "Pollo"
gujayeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:13:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
si si!
7ewis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ASL?
SuperMajesticMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
18/female/Canada
iceman78772 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
American Sign Language.
pellmellmichelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was he asking the "food" equivalent? Like cow=beef, deer=venison, pig=pork?
admh574 ยท 2199 points ยท Posted at 15:13:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you teach English from England then it's "Frenchman"
posixUncompliant ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 16:08:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, one shouldn't malign the noble roosting fowl which provides us eggs and meat by comparing it to the French.
thedylanackerman ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:07:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Careful now, french are on reddit, you wouldn't want to die drowned in wine
kayakkiniry ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 18:33:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, yes I would
thedylanackerman ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can now apply for French citizenship !
Fรฉlicitation
wintersaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:22:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just one? That's not the French way.
Commodorez ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The old George Plantaganet method of executing.
Migmatite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if they do decide to drown him in wine, may I suggest the Malmsey kind?
boscoist23 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:02:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only just now realized it's called a rooster because it "roosts"...
Show_me_your_pluto ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:57:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Second hand French rifles for sale. Excellent condition. Never fired and only dropped once.
Not-The-Government- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kek
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does the new French navy have glass bottoms on their hulls?
So they can see the old French navy.
probablyhrenrai ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:40:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are "frog" and "surrender monkey" still synonymous as well?
RealSteele ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 16:18:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The French are the only country in the world whose tanks drive in reverse.
ahappypoop ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 17:51:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They recently developed a new tank that has 12 different gears. Eleven of them go in reverse, and one goes forward just in case the enemy attacks from behind.
mortiphago ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:00:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was english for frogs?
palordrolap ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:36:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The English habit of calling the French 'frogs' is allegedly something the French started. Non-Parisians called Parisians 'frogs' because Paris is built on a swamp.
The French custom of eating frogs, or at the very least, frogs' legs, hasn't helped the cause, because "you are what you eat". For similar reason's the French call the English "Rosbifs" on account of our predilection for roast beef.
Looping back to the Korean student's question, apparently frogs' legs taste a bit like chicken.
sleep6 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
frog legs are surprisingly tasty. that's not something i could say about any food that's come from the british isles
LeTreacs ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:06:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have a pasty and say that again!
noobykillerman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he doesn't want to end up dead on a beach in Australia without anyone knowing his name?
sleep6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:44 on February 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shit, sounds good to me!
WarLordM123 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:25:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this even a joke?! When has France ever acted otherwise than as a great military power, save in the face of overwhelming power?
Curanthir ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:55:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, the French have been military badasses since the beginning. I heard that it was some recent (last couple decades) propaganda from somewhere or other by people who disagreed with something France did or didn't do, but I can't seem to find the real answer.
Pasglop ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:52:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, as a Frencham, I think I can answer:
It probably has to do with the Iraq war, because Bush wanted that Oil, but Chirac did not want to follow, and basically told America to go suck it. This eld to many peoeple in America disliking France (hence the Freedom Fries nonsense/embarassment); Furthermore, we were pussies because we did not followed in their pointless wars, and after they realized they saved our asses in 44 (thanks for that), they began to say that the French coudln't war at all (pretty much ignoring 1776, but hey)
MightyEskimoDylan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an American, anti-French sentiment and the surrender stereotype predates the Bush years and War for Oil. Not that those helped much.
Bo_Buoy_Bandito_Bu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To support what you're saying, anyone who thinks France is a push-over should listen to Dan Carlin's Blueprint for Armageddon series.
It gives a harrowing perspective to what the French faced and how they held against incredible odds.
Curanthir ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:00:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the French have always held off the British pretty well, helped the US actually survive our war for independence, once conquered most of Europe, were invaded in WWII due to Germany's new tech and tactics that had never been seen before, yet they kept fighting through the French resistance, and to this day get some crazy stuff done through brilliant use of their relatively small, but well-trained and equipped military. After doing some thinking, I now can't stand the whole French surrendering bullshit that goes around these days, and try to call people out on it whenever I can. You guys are great.
Pasglop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww thank you! You are great too!
sweet-banana-tea ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:04:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that the most intimidating military projects of france doesnยดt consist of french people adds to the illusion aswell.
AShitInASilkStocking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol what? The Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars much?
sweet-banana-tea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Attention: I said doesn't, not didn't.
AShitInASilkStocking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took doesn't to mean "up to and including now". Did you mean it as in "not at the current moment"?
AShitInASilkStocking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an Englishman, I'll confess that I enjoy the joke. But stepping aside from fun national rivalries for a second I'll admit that I absolutely love French history. The Revolution and Napoleonic Wars are two of my favourite periods and the influence the French have had on the world stage cannot be understated in any way. Plus your anthem is what pure badass sounds like as a song.
BlondieMenace ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:50:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it started in WW2, some felt that France surrendered too quickly to Hitler, when they had a bigger army. To be fair, France was still traumatized by the casualties from the first war and their military was disorganized, with some officers actually favoring the nazis. Still, they surrendered in just 6 weeks despite DeGaulle's efforts and Paris fell without a fight (it was declared an open city).
Post war animosity between the US and France, plus the Vietnam War just perpetuated the stereotype.
Gutterman2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The French had their greatest period under napolean. Before that they were regularly invaded and attacked by the British, lost badly in Italy when they tried to expand, lost the Alsace Lorraine to the Prussians, got whopped by Attila and the Goths, were conquered decisively by Caesar, faired badly in all the crusades, were almost conquered by the Germans like 5 times, and they lost worse than the US in Vietnam and Algeria.
Exoslovakia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it has more to do with some of their not so impressive performances since Napoleon.
The French had an embarrassing capitulation in 1871 when the Prussians decisively defeated their imperial army and successfully besieged Paris. This allowed the Prussians to set terms, unify their loose states, and take Alsace-Lorraine from the French.
Not exactly military-related, but the French originally sought the grand undertaking of building the Panama Canal but failed halfway through. It was only finished when the Americans took it over.
World War 1 was also not glorious. After the Russians went Bolshevik the Germans were poised to defeat the French with all their troops from the Eastern front. If not for fresh American soldiers, the French probably would have lost again.
And we all know how WW2 played out. The Germans blitzed them, the French capitulated and saw southern France cooperating with the Nazis.
All that said it's not really fair to call the French cowards for any of this. Much of these failures had to do with a variety of factors out of their control. Regardless, that's probably why France's reputation has been mocked in modern times.
WarLordM123 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:14:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Elan of French Troops, the might of the Foreign Legion is great.
But their government has been a shit-show since Waterloo. I guess that explains it.
But as a Medieval/Early-Modern History guy who plays a lot of Europa Universalis, this just triggers me a little.
Davidskis21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was an interesting explainlikeimfive about it, I kinda forget but it was an interesting read
Phage0070 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this comes mostly from WWII when in 1936 France had one of the most powerful land armies in the world and yet when the war began other countries fought much longer and harder. France surrendered extremely quickly and effectively gave their forces and resources over to the enemy. In fact half the country headed by Philippe Petain actually joined the Germans voluntarily!
So probably the meme stems from grudges against the French rolling over and giving in during the most recent massive war for most countries, and everyone forgot historical victories. French soldiers on the side of Hitler fighting against American and British in North Africa isn't going to easily be forgotten when they were supposed to be allies and supposed to fight tooth and nail.
WarLordM123 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:17:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The French could have ended up on a list of racial undesirables for fighting back.
Phage0070 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely, they could have. Others did and were. Hence the perception of cowardice.
Try not to confuse explanation of a viewpoint with advocacy.
WarLordM123 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's ... not really true actually. The Polish fought back, they weren't put on the genocide docket. The Russians, perhaps, were victims of the "Graus Holocaust," but for the most part Holocaust victims were peoples who couldn't fight back; disabled, Roma, people who weren't white, Christian minorities, and (in most countries) Jews.
Phage0070 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then what the fuck were you talking about? How is that a rational fear if those who fought back weren't targeted as you suggest (although you admit the Russians were questionable)?
It is reasonable to expect that more vigerous guerilla warfare in the population would result in harsher treatment and that at least held true to my knowledge. I'm not sure about your claim of racial targeting for fighting back but you can't have it both be a realistic danger and unrealistic at the same time!
WarLordM123 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:33:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The French were an exceptional case. They were a Latin people, but the Germans hated them.
sweet-banana-tea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which at the time no one could really fault them. The way they were treated at Versailles was disgusting an definitley not a good move by the french people.
WarLordM123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, the Entente powers caused WWII with their callous shortsightedness. Hitler didn't do very much right, but the fault lies with the British and the French
Phage0070 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you are saying they were too fearful to resist, is that it?
peacemaker2007 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 15:58:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're teach English from anywhere you should resign
ProstetnicVogonJelz ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 16:33:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If you're teach English"
peacemaker2007 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:57:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sneaky bastard edited his comment!
-PM_ME_A_SECRET- ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:31:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The world knows. He sports the * of shame.
Pecoste ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should do the same thing with yours
ahappypoop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah just slap an edit on it so everyone gets the joke.
lol_2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're teaching...
kangarooninjadonuts ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:51:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All of you're English teachers resigned, didn't they? :p
scaierdread ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the future you might want to add quotation marks around certain words to ensure everyone understands you're being ironic, and not making the same mistake as the commenter.
kangarooninjadonuts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:27:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would lessen the joke. I'd rather the joke stay intact than it get more upvotes.
Kakarot_faps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Le rosbifs
Oswalt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never wanted to teach ESL more than right now.
CinereousChris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here in the US
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in the US, in fact.
AnteSamhain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're from America then it's Marty McFly
crypticthree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you teach English from America, it's Marty McFly. And President #45, Biff Tannen agrees.
Mythman2090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love Britain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's an American stereotype. English people think the French are a bunch of poncy bastards (in a friendly way) but we don't think they're cowards.
PaigeTheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surrender monkies
Camwood7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sid Hoffman, or Sid Frenchman?
Alexander_Baidtach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an American stereotype of the French. In England it has more to do with frogs, wine, garlic and cheese.
Chucklehead240 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same in American English
Ambush101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Quรฉbรฉcois in Western Canada.
(WW/WW2 issues that incites my grandfather to this day - history buff)
OB-14 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:03:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bazinga!
Brondog ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SAVAGE!
M1sterNinja ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When Koreans say the word "chicken" they mean fried chicken and when they say the native Korean word for chicken, then they mean chicken in any other form.
ReversePolish ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:40:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, learning another language fucks with your mind. When I was learning Arabic it was like I was in a constant fog of confusion and my English suffered as a result.
LaTalpa123 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:06:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, what is chicken in english?
elkresurgence ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:32:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Park Geun-hye
Baconluvuh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:09:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ayy
BySumbergsStache ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:16:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
god damn savage
Lkmuscle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:31:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cock
irotsoma ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:57:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took me a while to get my wife to start saying rooster instead of cock. It was funny the first time in the middle of the store when she said "I like that cock plate" or something similar when seeing a plate with a rooster on it. I guess in China they learn British dialects, so it's understandable. But I think most British people know not to say it in the US. Just like I know queue, torch, lift, etc. when talking to Brits and their former colonials, Indians, Chinese, etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Covered in beans I imagine
anacondatmz ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:19:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bok bok.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:36:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: He said it in Korean.
EndlessRa1n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He literally did though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the point of this was that he was he was asking what it was in English, in English. If he did in Korean, then it's a completely normal question, right?
EndlessRa1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Chicken" is pronounced basically identically in Korean.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. Well, it's not really a bad question then, because he probably didn't know. I mean, hell, I didn't know what Chicken was in Korean until now.
blisstake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:06:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And?
agentpotato007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biscuits
alex3omg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And?
nusigf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gravy
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmmmmmmmm
Idontreadrepliesnoob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
quichagan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Off topic question, but how do you get into teaching english in foreign countries? Im fairly interested but have no clue how to go about doing it
cary1994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's like someone asking a Spanish teacher how to say salsa in Spanish. This actually happened in my class yesterday, btw.
Chemie93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean. Maybe he knew the word but not the meaning. Like looking for context or maybe he was called chicken in game and needs colloquial slang understanding.
yeontura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
์นํจ?
TheRealBobbyC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cat
sirhalos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, not all Konglish matches up with English.
SiPhoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it wasnt for the fact that ๋ญ (korean word for chicken) is uesd just as often as ์นํจ(chi-kin) I would say fair enough. But come on, ๋ญ๊ฐ๋น is the best!!
ThisOldHatte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did they ask in English? is that the joke?
SleepingAran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To people who don't know Korean, "Chicken" (์นํจ) in Korean means Fried Chicken.
So that student probably meant "What's '์นํจ' in English?"
Which the answer would be "Fried Chicken"
Varboa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they were trying to ask you philosophically, what is chicken
christo334 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nuggets my dear
danielrhymer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was one like this in my intro Spanish class at University. We were writing an in-class assignment and this guy raises his hand and asks how to say "Salsa" in Spanish.
ColdGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Kitchen'
Ph33rles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, in japanese chicken is chikin so that might be a valid question, don't know korean well enough
scolfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first baseman!
seeingeyegod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whats spanish for doctor?
machingunwhhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The context implies that he asked in English but he could have asked in Korean.
TheEasyOption ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean they said, "what is a /chikin/?" Do you know what a steak is called in France?
IAmGodMode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken and beer!
obitrice-kanobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure the kid was trying to make you say cock
Requiemiero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get how that is a weird question. Was it funny because they asked how to say ์นํจ in English instead of ๋ญ?
Taumain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my more embarrassing moments at a french camp was asking, in french, "How do you say deja vu in french?" My face luckily showed that I figured it out pretty quickly after I said it.
NorthwestGiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they heard the stories about the origin of Turkey
AwkwardGinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a boyfriend who spoke English as a second language (actually a fifth language, but whatever). He could not for the life of him keep the words "chicken" and "kitchen" straight. It was hilarious
Alfique ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousion taught in Seol few years back!
Ice-Wreck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The North 's Kim-Jong Un
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Been living in korea for a year now and I have learned that some of their words don't have a korean word for it. Things typically brought here after the war by the American military tend to be English words. Like Taxi is what koreans call taxi's, that is what they have always known them as.
[deleted] ยท 9047 points ยท Posted at 11:43:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AllTaints18 ยท 3354 points ยท Posted at 12:30:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, that's the oldest trick in the book.. kids have been pulling the "I'm coming out to my parents about my sexual orientation" since the 1940's...
[deleted] ยท 2508 points ยท Posted at 12:51:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Spankyco ยท 2865 points ยท Posted at 12:58:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it happened only once?
[deleted] ยท 1602 points ยท Posted at 13:07:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Trisa133 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:17:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10 cents? that's more than my 2 cents
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:04:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10 cents is a dime!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now get rid of the e and put the letters a o n d in the word ok
antiname ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:24:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10 cents is a dim!ond ok
avenlanzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eoaondk?Jordaneer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well your 2 cents is more than my penny for your thoughts
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this is a joke but where do you work that you make so little? I'm in school to become a teacher now and when I start with a bachelor's in bio and a master's in education I will be making over 50K the first year, depending on where I go exactly and what other responsibilities I take on it could go over 60k.
BrachiumPontis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Masters in bio here. I make 35k teaching high school full time. After taxes, it's 2100 a month.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live? Fuck that dude.
BrachiumPontis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The school is in rural Georgia, so it's not a huge surprise... but it is why I'm leaving the profession. I can't build my life on 2k a month and the money isn't worth the stress and the hours. I'm a good teacher- awards, recommendations, the whole nine yards. I just can't live with the pay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you stuck there or can you move?
BrachiumPontis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stuck for a few years (boyfriend is Air Force), but it's soured me on the profession. The money isn't enough to make up for the stress and the stress is killing me.
MightyEskimoDylan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck actually landing a job teaching with a masters and 0 experience. You're too expensive to hire and have no union backing.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. I'm going to be a science teacher kid. I may get a bonus depending on where I go.
MightyEskimoDylan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if you are bilingual and also teach Spanish.
As someone who already has my teaching degree, and has already left the field for the private sector, clearly my advice is invalid.
If you're lucky enough to find one of the five school districts in America that actually has the money to hire new teachers, remember that every other qualified candidate costs about $20,000 a year less than you do to hire. In fact, many of them who are more qualified, because they have actual real world experience, are cheaper than you.
But, what do I know, I'm just a kid.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife got a job teaching without even a certification making 50K as an ENGLISH teacher in Dallas.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, the counties I'm going to apply to Do not pay people without a master's 20K less. Lol. My master's bonus is less than 2K. You are clearly an "expert".
fat_fist_fister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Alberta Canada teachers start off with 50k a year and after 11 years they make 105k yearly
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are Canada coins though. It costs like 2x as many tobuy book where in the US.
fat_fist_fister ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that's a fairly recent thing, our dollar has usually been close to yours except, the .65$ is pretty new
jctheslp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in FL. All the people I know who became teachers still live with their parents or are splitting rent several ways with other teachers. They're contemplating moving to GA to make more money. FL pays teachers almost nothing.
LegionSB ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:02:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa whoa whoa, what district is throwing around those kind of raises?
ThatGuyRememberMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here I was doith the math on how many nickles it takes to reach $40k. I think its 800k nickles
Juankii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/hedidthemath
Gilgamore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:07:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's a teacher and I felt that right in the overwhelming amount of Christmas gifts they couldn't afford.
thefrc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Avg Salary for Teacher: 47,664$ Number of seconds in a school day: 21600
There are 180 school days (most places), so you'll need to earn 264$ per day in to get the average salary. At a nickel a piece, that's 5280 kids per day, or one every 4.1-ish seconds.
probablyhrenrai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh; salaries must be way lower everywhere else; the average salary of a Chicago Public Schools teacher, as of new 12/31/2016, is $71,936, and that's according to CPS itself.
thefrc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took average salary of high school teachers across the USA.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah. You have to teach in Chicago. I wonder if they get hazard pay.
Canopenerdude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone going back to school to become a teacher... AT LEAST I GET KARMA FROM POSTING STUPID QUESTIONS.
ElderCunningham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm starting grad school in April to learn how to be a teacher. This comment makes me sad.
DarkResurgence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was teaching the school paid me on time once. It was pretty great.
Sdavis2911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd give you gold, but I don't know how to do that on mobile.
WhiteAdipose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bunch of my teachers were surprisingly well paid
rezachi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Looks around his neighborhood full of retired teachers with nice cars and big houses, then down the street to the one still teaching and admires his huge new truck and boat)
Fuck...
Kiosade ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why teachers always complain about their salary... I know a guy that just started being a teacher a year or two ago, and he makes way more than me as an engineer...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kiosade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it sounds like he teaches at one of the cruddier schools in the area, so maybe they pay higher to attract teachers? I dunno...
The_Dirty_Carl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher friend started at the same salary as me as an engineer, but he only works 3/4 of the year and lives in a cheaper city.
INTJustAFleshWound ยท 898 points ยท Posted at 14:56:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom... Dad... I just want you to know... ...I'm straight."
xv9d ยท 515 points ยท Posted at 15:10:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi straight, I'm Dad.
Adog311 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:56:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
STOP IT DAD I'M SERIOUS!
xv9d ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were straight?
AyyyMycroft ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have multiple personalities.
egotisticalnoob ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:13:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And... Mom: I don't believe you.
thevariabubble ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:45:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi Dad, I'm Dad
YourCalcipher ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:32:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now kiss...
thevariabubble ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:37:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
daedone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/dadjokes is over there -->
The_Undrunk_Native ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 15:16:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you tried not being straight?"
ElderCunningham ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:33:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not a choice!"
atcoyou ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:39:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"But maybe you just haven't met the right one?! You know once you go off to college there will be more fish in the sea."
you_got_fragged ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:01:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"There will be a whole school of fish!!"
cynical_euphemism ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:15:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it was too much of a pain in the ass
zaxomophone ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:25:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ha! You owe me five bucks, Phil!"
"Way to let your pops down, son."
icezora ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:15:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not our child, we didn't raise a filthy breeder.
Wumer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:10:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't laugh, everyone expected me to be gay, and neither of my parents are. So I actually had to say this.
INTJustAFleshWound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why on earth would your own parents assume that about you when you weren't?
Wumer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:49:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy musicals, dancing, and not being lecherous. They were half joking, but the other half was quite serious.
INTJustAFleshWound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I've been asked if I was gay before because merely because I was kind and understanding, and because I don't sleep with women just because I have the opportunity to. I wonder what kind of losers that woman had in her life to assume that.
boroxine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother came out to me (not verbally, that would have been so awkward) as straight just after I came out to him as gay (also not verbally, we're not a talky family). I don't know which of us was more surprised.
BoxNumberGavin1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:22:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit, have you not tried just a little bit of the gash? See if you like it? I'd really like to be able to change the subject when grandma asks how your education is going.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:46:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whew. What a load off my chest. Thank good I skipped class for this
youngybloody ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:43:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad... Dad... I just want you to know... ...I'm straight."
Doingitwronf ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:23:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT?! Just wait until your father comes home!
AerasGale ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:07:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*GASP*
OPs_other_username ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:13:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That's great son....I tend to lean a little to the left. Your mom doesn't mind."
666666t ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:57:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? Well, mom... dad... I'm Chinese.
deliciouscorn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're so disappointed in you...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:13:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thats_satan_talk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That implies someone would be willing to have sex with them though.
Wumer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other Tumblr users.
EvilDeathCuddles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A wxmyn's womb is connected to the moon and ocean, shitlord. They don't need an oppressive man to reproduce. Educate yourself.
galacticboy2009 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"All those guys were just friends, it turns out"
SteampunkSamurai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mom... I'm Dad
D_sham99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in this house buster!! 'Slap Slap'
zombiesunflower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Son you sure? I still got some more dank if you want it.
corporal-clegg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/_ygUYgIEHzA
DerfK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, what a relief! For a second there I thought you were going to tell me you failed out of college!
Floppydlop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....straight outta my fucking college!
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:57 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad...I'm Mom."
BigDisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi Straight, I'm Dad!
sorrynotsorry
innahbalance ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:36:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fumnt shit is, in the future THIS will be seen as coming out.
Forkyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom, dad... im heterosexual" "why tf you keep telling us that so often?"
afihavok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hear the survival rate is much higher these days.
ColoradoScoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a can get a day off work to tell my parents I'm straight.
irotsoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, only back then it was being attracted to a different race/ethnicity more often than same gender.
jzerocoolj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom, dad, I hate the missionary position."
seemonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom? Dad? I'm straight."
"..."
HarrysonTubman ยท 1718 points ยท Posted at 13:43:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend whose brother died of a heroin overdose, and because he was home or distraught or something wanted to be excused from a test. The teacher said that's fine, he would gladly excuse him as long as he sent some sort of proof. Well, the whole family flipped. They screamed at the teacher and the school for questioning them, especially through such a hard time, blah blah blah. I think they even wanted the teacher disciplined.
But stories like yours outline why the teacher was perfectly reasonable. Kids will make up anything to get out of a test or boost their grades, especially considering how competitive grad schools are.
Edit: The timeline wasn't the issue. He could have presented proof later. The family felt like it was an accusation that my friend was lying, and that it was insensitive since they were going through such a traumatic experience that asking them to do it in the first place was insensitive.
dude_icus ยท 1140 points ยท Posted at 14:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does suck though for the kids that aren't lying. When my grandmother passed away unexpectedly a couple years back, my sister asked her professors if it would be alright to miss a day of class. I think there was a quiz or something scheduled that day. One of them demanded a death certificate as proof. An obit would not suffice. She ended up not going to the funeral at all because of that. It sucks balls that there are kids who have 5 grandparents die during the course of a semester than no one can take other people seriously when they say someone has passed.
EDIT: Since my joke is falling flat, I will explain. 5 grandparents meaning the student didn't keep track of their lies and ended up with more grandparents than the average person which is odd by itself, let alone that they all died within 5 months of each other. Yes, I know that some people have more than 4 grandparents through remarriage. My boyfriend has 6. Yes, I know that some people get very unlucky and have a string of people die in a short amount of time, and I feel incredibly sorry for them.
[deleted] ยท 413 points ยท Posted at 14:48:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tilman2015 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:29:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
+1
Maybe offering to facetime the professor in front of the open casket would have been more appropriate?
sarcasticmsem ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:31:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If my grandma weren't already dead, she definitely would have laid in a casket to help me get out of a test. She had zero shame.
Jordaneer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And shake the body to show that it is really dead
dude_icus ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 14:49:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently someone faked an obit once? IDK, but I distinctly remember that he had asked for the actual death certificate.
draws_for_food ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:12:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Death certificates don't show up for weeks, sometimes months after the fact. Obviously that teacher never had to deal with the business of death.
sarcasticmsem ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:33:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are still waiting on a death certificate for my aunt. She died just before Thanksgiving. Rural counties dgaf.
draws_for_food ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:04:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took 8 months for my brother because they did an autopsy. My dad's death, which was cancer still took about two months.
sarcasticmsem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We found out part of the delay was because the judge was on vacation. For a month.
2016nsfwaccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does this work in the US? In Japan, recently had a family member die, and we got a certificate at the hospital the night of the death, in fact the funeral home couldn't take the body unless they got such a legal notice.
draws_for_food ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:59 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It has to go to the county office and be approved/signed by a clerk or judge. I think it's mostly for record keeping. In my brothers case, that took 8 months it was because of the autopsy. They got the information/samples but then had to run various tests and do reports before sending it off to the clerks office.
Birth certificates are done the same way. It can take 4-6 weeks for an official birth certificate.
Equilibriator ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 14:58:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obituary + a phone call from mum/dad to confirm should suffice....
Enjoyer_of_Cake ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 15:00:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And you could so easily make the call without explicitly asking for proof. Just an "I heard about it from X and wanted to extend my condolences. If there's anything the school can do for you please let us know." If they go 'wtf are you talking about', you know the kid lied.
ziggl ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:40:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooo, sneaky but also doing a good thing. That's pretty wholesome of you, Cakeperson.
PinkDalek ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:54:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That might work at a small college, but I went to a state university with like 40,000 undergrads. I had a geography class in an auditorium with 300 students. I doubt my professor knew my name, let alone my phone number or my parents' phone number. I guess if the professor cared enough he could request that info from the registrar's office?
LegendaryPrimate ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:09:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the registrar should tell him to fuck right off. That's an invasion of your parents' privacy.
PinkDalek ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:55:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if I dropped dead in the middle of geography class? Wouldn't the professor or campus security be able to get my parent's phone number from the registrar then?
character0127 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:05:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The registrar's or admin office is probably who would call your parents not a random security guard or your professor.
PinkDalek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I guess that will work. Just didn't want to end up on some dissecting table in an anatomy class somewhere.
character0127 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:31:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's to say that's not where your parents will put you?!
themadhattergirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:49:50 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you dropped dead then it would be the police who would contact your next of kin
PinkDalek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:32 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They'd have to get my relative's phone number from someone though.
NotRussianLizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, my graduating class was less than a hundred... Some of my professors knew which pub to find me in if I didn't turn up for a lecture.
dude_icus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should. Hell, when my great aunt passed when I was in college, they didn't ask for anything. They just expressed their condolences, and that was it. Mind you, I went to a college that was a lot smaller than the one my sister went to, and they knew me a lot better than my sister's professors knew her.
Equilibriator ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:09:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plus someone in the faculty probably knew about this before you said anything (by the sounds of it).
dude_icus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:12:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe? All the professors heard the same story, and there wasn't anything due that day that I couldn't turn in online. Also, when you only have 10-20 kids in the class and there are 10 professors in the department, you know which kids make up dead relatives and which don't.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:18:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know that I don't really care about proof unless there is a test on the day, lessons are easily made up.
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless mum and dad are lying pieces of shit too
mmmm_whatchasay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, if someone takes the time and money to publish a fake obit, they earned their absence.
FranzJosephWannabe ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:19:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? I ask for proof of things like that, but really anything "official" would count for me. Obit, funeral program, or even a letter from Mom would work. Honestly, it's mostly so that when I'm looking at participation and stuff at the end of the year, I don't see that absence and think that it was unexcused. Though I take a more "professional" position on absences than some. If they would be excused from work, they're excused from my class.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:24:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FranzJosephWannabe ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:33:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. That's what I'm saying. If you wouldn't need a death certificate for a job, then why would you expect one for class? It's stupid.
sorator ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:04:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a couple profs that basically said "I believe you, and I just need something so that I can point to that as proof I'm not playing favorites."
(in my case it was for medical stuff, not funerals, but I expect they take the same attitude for funerals)
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:05:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on how an obit is worded, there may be no proof that the deceased is related to the student. I've seen where they say Mrs. Whoever is survived by her children and grandchildren only listing first names. A deceptive kid could totally skim the obits to make up a bs story.
dude_icus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:41:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is true. My own grandparents obituaries don't list either my sister or me by name, just in the "10 grandchildren" line. However, I would also give people the benefit of the doubt if this was their first time approaching me about it. She shouldn't have been judged for the misdeeds of others.
FranzJosephWannabe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:41:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think standard practice is to list first names of the survivors if they have the same last name, and last names if the names do not match. But I think I'd still give them the benefit of the doubt (though I think when I have requested documentation, I've said "something with your name on it").
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nor are they always cheap depending on your area
Fey_fox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:58:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. In a situation like this you take the obituary and go to your advisor and the dean of the professor's area. If he is the dean, go to his boss. You are paying to be there. Yes your teacher has a right to ask for proof but a death certificate is extreme. Like the family isn't going through enough.
TheHYPO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:37:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need to show the death certificate to tie up all sorts of formal loose ends when someone dies. Why is it "offensive" to add one more to the list? You're paying to be there, but so are the other dozens or hundreds of students who you're being graded against, and they have a right to ensure people aren't lying to get out of a test - especially in class (which may not be that many, but there are some) that are graded on a curve.
jennawhoreusrex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:09:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just sort of excessive. Assuming my grandma passed away, the last thing I would want to do would be to bother my grieving grandfather/parents for the death certificate. I think it would be disrespectful to ask that of my family and disrespectful for a teacher to expect a student to do that too. I think an obituary or one of those pamphlets would suffice, assuming the professor required any proof.
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe every family is different. If my grandparent passed away (which, as it happens, one recently did), I would feel an insider to that grieving and among those making plans and arrangements for getting to the funeral and taking the time off etc. and not an outsider bothering those for a death certificate. Maybe others are different.
Have you been in the situation of losing a grandparent (not assuming the answer either way, just wondering if you are assuming what it would be like or speaking from experience).
Everyone's different I guess. As I said, I personally feel that people underestimate the logistics and planning and decisions and arrangements that have to be made after someone dies. There's lots of paperwork, and lots of copies of death certificates have to be made so bank accounts can be transferred or real property moved or insurance policies paid out etc. Saying "Hey mom; yes of course I'm going to come to the funeral. I'm going to need a copy of the death certificate for the school because there's an exam that day" is not disrespectful, in my personal opinion. Adults should be more than away of the fact that colleges deal with tons of kids inventing dead grandparents to get out of college and understand why the request is being made.
dude_icus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:04:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But typically the person who is handling arrangements is going to be either the spouse or the child of a grandparent passing. Grandchildren, especially those in college, are not typically dealing with that stuff so they would not, under most circumstances, have easy access to a death certificate.
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but much of the time, the parent of the person in college is either one of the children handling it, or, as a child of the deceased, should be in a position to ask for it without offending the other equally close mourners on behalf of their child. It's not a third cousin coming in to ask.
I mean, maybe this is just my experience. I'd expect to receive a phone call from my mother or father (depending on whose parent died) telling me the details of the funeral, at which point I'd expect to say "I have an exam that day. My professor is going to want to see a copy of the death certificate to let me miss the exam".
Everyone is different, but I'd expect the focus at that moment is figuring out the logistics to get everyone together for the funeral, and not stopping to question why the professor has chosen that level of evidence. Again, others have pointed out that perhaps it's not as easy for some to get a death certificate as others depending on circumstance or geography, so there's that; but I don't see it as an "offensive" thing for a grandchild to bring up in the context. The grandchild isn't just going to go out of the blue "Hey, sorry about grandpa, but anyone have a copy of the death certificate I can borrow? I really want to skip this exam". Obviously.
Fey_fox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like the others have said, it's excessive. Depending on what state you're in it could take a month or two to get a copy, or longer depending on how the person died. The semester could be over by then. It's a lot of legwork vs just showing a copy from a newspaper or bring a funeral program.
This isn't like closing a bank account or selling a deceased person's house. It's a test at college. Professor is just being heavy handed when it's simply not necessary.
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's a problem in the US. I can't say I've dealt with that many deaths, but I've always understood here that the funeral home issues them right away. They are often needed for the executor to access the deceased's account to get the money to pay for the funeral. I admit I have no experience where the death is suspicious or investigated over a long period of time, and obviously different places do things differently.
Again, that's all a matter of opinion. College is supposed to be training for the real world, and unfortunately, there's more abuse of this kind of thing by immature slackers than actual claims by unfortunately students. The real problem is that the college itself should have a universal policy. It shouldn't be up to the professor to decide what he or she wants to accept.
TacoinaToaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can fake an obit, you just write to the paper.
I suppose you could fake a death certificate with some good photoshop...
dude_icus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, now that I've gotten into genealogy, it would be stupidly easy for me to fake a death certificate for a male relative especially. Just claim he's a junior and change the dates around a little bit.
RedditSkippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I think about it, for some bizarre reason a cousin of mine laminated a copy of my grandfather's obituary. I have it somewhere.
I mean, I never would use the thing to skip work (I could just call in sick if I needed a MHD,) but knowing my grandfather, I think he would enjoying having his obituary used this way. I don't think there's any years listed. The only problem would be that I'm getting a little too old to believably have a grandfather
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Meme's obit is still on our fridge. My maternal grandmother has a ton of obituaries in a little box for when her brother and sisters passed. I think a lot of people use to "collect" obits before the internet became a thing and most newspapers now have a digital archive of them.
GroovinWithAPict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fake news!
MontazumasRevenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can create fake obits and news articles. I did that a few years ago to a racist bigot at my job. We got her to think Jimmy Johns was racist and used expired meat in their sandwiches. We would always go to JJ and she would run around screaming how we were all supporting racism and we were going to die of cancer from eating Jimmy Johns subs.
GaGaORiley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My town newspaper won't publish an obit without a death certificate due to too many people publishing fake ones as an excuse from work.
chancegold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An obit, particularly if you call up a small town newspaper, is cheap as hell.
A letter/call from mom? Seriously? This is a college course, presumably. The professor doesn't know who your mom is, how is either at all verifiable? These are adults, now, not high schoolers.
It sucks that people take advantage, but a death certificate isn't necessarily out of line, nor would it be hard to get a copy of. A call to whatever family member is handling the arrangements would do, I'd think.
TheHYPO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:36:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sitcoms like to pretend that it's a huge social faux pas to ask for a copy of the death certificate, but seriously, in real life, I find that generally most people understand the practicalities of real life and aren't in any way offended by someone making a practical request like this (particularly semi-immediate family like a grandchild. Presumably the student's parent is going to have access to the certificate either directly or with fair ease.
dude_icus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was (and is) fairly sick, so his sister and brother were handling the arrangements. No one in my immediate family (Mom, Dad, sister or myself) ever saw the death certificate.
Also, when my Meme passed in 2015 and then Pop passed in 2016, my boss never asked for a death certificate. Shockingly, he never even asked for a obituary. Not everyone asks for legal proof, especially in smaller environments like my college and my current place of employment.
TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I agree. I'm not saying it is standard; I'm just saying I understand it. Every place or every prof is going to have their own criteria or trust for students (or perhaps even for different students).
Colleges are known for kids inventing dead relatives. They conveniently pop up at critical moments. I'm sure this is more true for large colleges where the student to prof ratio is high, there's no real personal connection so kids think they can get away with it, as compared to a smaller college that perhaps feels more intimate or familial.
I suspect that most workplaces don't have a huge issue with people taking days off for fake dead relatives, and if they do, most jobs don't have an equivalent of "exam day" where your entire job for the year is dependant on one day's performance; The "payoff" for taking a day off work by lying is simply not as great as skipping a college exam, and it's less likely that someone would make up something like that to simply get off a day of work. "I'm sick", for example, is a far less disprovable lie for skipping a day of work, and most workplaces won't ask for a doctor's not like a college will.
Anyway, I'm not saying I'm right or that there is a "right" answer here or anything, but just throwing my opinion out there because I do believe that it's offensive how much abuse of things like claiming dead relatives or sickness there is to give people an unfair advantage on exams or other projects, and I understand why a prof would want to put someone to a stringent burden of proof.
CC_EF_JTF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't true in all cases. Death certificates can take weeks or months to be issued, and they aren't free either.
chancegold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With very few exceptions, they are around $30 or less and take 3-5 days for an official one. Most families get an official death certificate as a matter of course, since it will be needed by insurance people, the estate, etc.
All this professor is asking for is a copy of the certificate that the family is going to be getting anyway.
CC_EF_JTF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know you think that's how this works, but I'm guessing you don't have much relevant experience here.
Both of my parents have passed away in the past few years and I'm the executor of their estate. I'm telling you from personal experience that this process isn't always simple. It varies from state to state based on the resources they have, it varies based on whether an autopsy needed to be performed, the cost varies, etc.
It took nearly four months for my father's death certificate to be issued. The state government of Alabama doesn't work well (a vast understatement) and the process was slow and bureaucratic.
chancegold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did say, "with few exceptions".
I'm sorry your state sucks, but, presumably, you'd be able to explain that your state sucks to your professor. Policies aren't ever set in stone and people are very rarely just plain heartless.
Just because in your specific case, in your specific state, with your specific circumstances it was a pain and took 4 months doesn't mean that as a general policy this professor is satan or in any way out of line.
CC_EF_JTF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't. My father isn't from that state, nor am I, but he was travelling through at the time of his death. This adds to the difficulty of the whole situation.
This is precisely my point. You can't know the situations involved so expecting everyone to produce a death certificate immediately is unrealistic.
Of course I didn't state the professor was satan, only pointing out that the claim about a death certificate being easy to get a hold of isn't true in many cases.
Also, as an executor, it's a waste of a death certificate for a relative to get excused from class. I needed around twenty death certificates to settle my father's estate, but they cost per certificate, so if I needed to order enough to excuse all of my father's relatives from class then I'd need to order double that amount.
Of course that cost is borne by the executor themselves, because before the death certificate is issued there's no access to the deceased funds. So this professor is basically demanding some poor executor somewhere pay $30 or more out of pocket just to prove a relative isn't a liar. If the deceased has many relatives that could get expensive very quickly.
Relying on an obituary seems sufficient. So what if they can be faked? So could a death certificate for that matter. It's not a like a professor is going to investigate the death personally.
chancegold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He just asked for a copy. It's not that much of a burden to ask aunt Sue or whomever the executor is to make a copy of something they already have to get for the more official business.
Don't be mad at a professor who has had to deal with students referencing random vague obituaries or forging notes/phone calls- be mad at the students who caused the professor to have lost inherent trust in the first place.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only way my sister would be able to get her hands on one would be to ask whoever got the copies to make a copy for her which she didn't want to bother them for as they were planning a funeral for their mother who died very suddenly one morning. (Seriously, she was probably dead before she hit the ground, that sudden.)
In Virginia, a grandchild cannot get an official copy from Vital Records unless 25 years have passed making the death "public record" or they are a direct beneficiary of the estate which we weren't because everything (which wasn't much) went to her husband.
chancegold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Death sucks, but it's a fact of life. Asking the family member who is serving as the contact for the necessary official end of life paperwork for a copy of something they need to get anyway isn't that big of a deal. 9 times out of 10, the timing won't make it a big deal anyway since the odds of a tragedy happening in line with the specific timing of a key quiz or test is remote.
I really don't intend to come off as heartless, I've just been told by a professor friend of mine that the number of grandparent deaths that correspond with midterms and finals is astronomical when you teach a 100 person lecture.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Admittedly, the paper that her obit was printed in was the Richmond Times Dispatch, and it wasn't cheap from what I remember, though I cannot find pricing online for the life of me. Of course, neither mine nor my sister's name was printed directly as we are lumped under the "10 grandchildren" bit.
TheHYPO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:27:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can go into the newspaper and find an obit from any city in the country for someone who looks old enough to be a grandparent. Just need to find one that doesn't say "Loving grandmother of [names]". Nothing says a grandmother has to have the same surname as you. An obit is some evidence, but it's hard to say it's "proof".
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:29:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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dude_icus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that would suck for me in that case because my name wasn't listed in either of my paternal grandparent's obits. (My Meme's and my Pop's.) I got lumped into the 10 grandchildren part because you had to pay by the line and it was getting expensive really quick.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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TheHYPO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't seem logical to me.
I pulled up the obits page in my local paper. First obit I found: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/thestar/obituary.aspx?n=mitsuko-abe&pid=183634417&fhid=17707
Doesn't list names of the grand or great grandchildren. I could be a great grandchild. If I went to college out of town, easy enough to claim this is my grandmother or great grandmother.
This isn't about how many days off, as much as it is (almost always) skipping an exam or due date. Just missing an ordinary day of class isn't something that would normally merit a lie unless attendance speaks to your grade. Usually it's just tests or project deadlines that matter and when people need to ask permission to miss class/the deadline.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:31:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't prove she's related to the person, though. Anyone can find an obituary, a death certificate would probably only be available to family.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Virginia, a grandchild would not be given a death certificate unless they were a direct beneficiary of the deceased. (We weren't as there was no will.) Yes, I'm sure that someone in my family received a death certificate, but I have no idea who, and I have no idea if there were any copies left that my sister could have used.
muesli1998 ยท 531 points ยท Posted at 14:47:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, why didn't she just go to the funeral and take it from there?
You just have some absence, it's not like you skipped your entire year
One_Huge_Skittle ยท 222 points ยท Posted at 15:04:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some classes are set up in such a way that missing a quiz can really fuck your grade up. I've noticed a lot of professors seem to structure their class in a way that punishes people that don't come, so it could be a result of that.
Axethor ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:46:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even just missing quizzes or tests. I had professors where if you missed a day you would lose 5-10% of your final grade on the spot. A single day, no "Grace period" (which I think is still bullshit).
SasquatchonReddit ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 17:50:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's ridiculous when this happens. One time, I had whooping cough and emailed a teacher who had a policy like this and he said I would not be excused. So I went to class, coughing for like 3 minutes at a time unable to really breathe and leaving the room. Eventually the teacher asked "Why did you even come today if you're disrupting the class?". I looked him dead in the eye and said "Because you told me I had to attend otherwise I'd lose points, so really, this is your problem". He didn't like that.
But I left a pretty scathing review on ratemyprofessor so I guess I got the last laugh. (Sorry to any classmates who got whooping cough from me).
OttoMalpense ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:01:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You probably got the last cough in too.
One_Huge_Skittle ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:20:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the type that never misses class, I like to say my brain has never realized class is optional lol. But even though it doesn't effect me at all (in fact it might help me when you bring the class curve into the equation) I HATE that professors can deduct points for attendance and shit.
College isn't some fucking game, some people learn differently than others, just because you're butthurt that no one wants to watch you mumble over department made slides doesn't mean people should have to retake a class they paid good money for.
Axethor ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:31:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Honestly, I think the professors that do this, do so because they know people won't like their class and try to skip.
I had a professor that didn't have an attendance policy. The class was Discrete Math. On the first day he told us we could skip every day of class if we wanted and he wouldn't deduct any points for attendance. Of course, it was a hard as hell math class, so if you could miss every class except for the days we had tests and still get an A, power to you. I don't think a single person skipped a day.
That is how professors should run their classes. Make it so students want to attend and don't directly punish them for not attending. Make the punishment that they didn't learn the subject matter cause they skipped and they fail the tests.
One_Huge_Skittle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:41:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had one professor who would refuse to put any resources online. Mind you, I actually prefer professors that use only the blackboard, even if it means they won't have slides to upload.
But this guy would refuse to put anything: any notes, practice problems, homework solutions. And when people would ask he would just tell them to come to class.
For a quick evaluation of his teaching skills, I got a solid C on his midterm with a 29/100 lol.
TurtleTape ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school had a university-wide attendance policy that was basically that you could miss the amount of hours the class was worth(so a class worth three hours that met three times a week for an hourish each day could be missed three times, for example) without the teacher taking off points, and past that it was up to the teacher if they wanted to enforce attendance.
I always thought it was a good policy, since it mandated that teachers had to give students some leeway for sickness and mental health days while still giving the teachers the power to decide how important attendance was.
dude_icus ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 14:48:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because she had either a quiz or test scheduled for that day that the professor would not allow make-ups for without an excused absence.
Waterprophet ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:03:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just as a heads up: if you find yourself in this situation, ask the professor if you can take the quiz or test early. Indicate you would come in during office hours (or some other scheduled time). Most instructors at the college level seem agreeable about taking a test early.
Dogpool ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 15:18:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, this is just me, but Id go anyway. That teacher can shove that test up their ass. They want a death certificate. Fuck them.
probation_420 ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 15:40:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that's how you lose a letter grade in the class, kids!
(I would do the same thing, though; just not the same way. I'd go talk with the dean prior to missing the class.)
[deleted] ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 15:45:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd go to the funeral, take a pic of the open casket and email it to the prof.
Angel_Hunter_D ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:10:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make it a selfie, and flip the bastard off while you're at it.
khaeen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:29:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta be a video so you can zoom in and show all the breathing that isn't happening.
KzintiLord ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:42:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still not proof. You could just go to a funeral home and take a picture of anyone in a casket. Now, maybe if you had grandma in the casket holding up her obituary and death certificate, that would be OK.
DeadDillers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just roll her ol bones into his office on the way to the cemetery. That was enough for Principal Rooney
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously you take a selfie with the open casket, as well as one with the sign at the funeral home indicating "Funeral of X such-and-such".
Viperbunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my sister's school asked for my daughter's death certificate I told them theu could shove it. I told them I would bring her ashes to the school if they needed more proof, but to expect a scene. Luckily, the teacher stepped in and made it clear this was a real death. I had just lost my oldest daughter at six days old and my grandpa four months later. I was in no mood to cooperate.
probation_420 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:57:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you would pick such a militant path of action as opposed to being more professional about it, but to each their own.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because death certificates aren't easily come by under such circumstances. Can you imagine her grandpa/parents dealing with the funeral arrangements, estate, etc., and she has to add to their stress by pestering them for a copy of the death certificate because her professor's being a douchebag? It's waaay easier to take a selfie with the corpse en coffin and the sign outside the room at the funeral home indicating which funeral is taking place.
probation_420 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:43:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could just take a picture of the sign that indicates that the funeral is in session. You can do what you want, but don't act like you're being nice to the professor when you send them a selfie with a dead body in it. And yes, that is in a different stratosphere of rudeness compared to the professor asking you for proof of death; your action would be motivated by nothing but anger, angst, and contempt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asking for a death certificate as the only acceptable proof of death is the height of contempt, callousness, and malignant distrust. Professor deserves to be made uncomfortable if he won't accept the MYRIAD other forms of perfectly acceptable evidence: death announcements in the press, a call from the funeral home, or fuck, even a call from the student's parents. Professor's just being a hardass because he can, not because it's IN ANY WAY necessary to his supposed ends. Play stupid games? Win stupid prizes.
probation_420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's quite melodramatic of you.
It's kind of weird that you just threw that idiom in, but whatever works for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That idiom is perfectly apt. Do stupid things, bad things happen.
FightingPolish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that follows you the rest of your life! No not really. Nobody cares what grades you got, they just want to take a quick look at the piece of paper you get at the end.
Dogpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't tell them to fuck off. But they're being unreasonable at that point. Life exists outside of the classroom.
probation_420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it is extremely unreasonable to ask for proof of a situation (in this case, death)when missing an exam. That is something that, while possibly very emotion-inducing, a reasonable student should be able to provide without significant detriment to their self.
It sucks, but we're adults. Sometimes we have to do sucky things.
Joolazoo ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a test, but there is almost no class where not doing a fucking quiz is going to make you drop a letter grade. I feel like you guys are the same people who assume every teacher is the biggest dildo bag on the planet. I am very good about attendance and have never had a teacher give me shit for missing a day with a good reason...
probation_420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you couldn't be more incorrect; I extremely respect my professors.
If you miss a test (which is something that was previously stated, but you chose to ignore), then you're deserving of the academic repercussions (in this case, losing a letter grade). If you have a death in the family, the professor is well within their rights to ask for proof of that, since this is a commonly used statement by students who do not want to take the test.
I understand that someone might be sensitive in that situation; unfortunately, life is not always fair, and providing proof of the death is an obstacle that students in pain should be able to overcome.
FearHold ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:42:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not their job to care it's their job to teach. It's your time and money, so go ahead and do what you want with it. But don't complain about falling behind because you waived that right.
dude_icus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:09:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher myself, which admittedly is different from a professor, I find it very hard to teach somebody if I don't care about them. How can I effectively relay information if I don't understand the people I'm relaying it to?
Knitty_Professor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:54:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a college prof and care a great deal about my students. I don't ask them to provide a death certificate but I do need the obit or something, but only for an assignment/test over 5%. My students are very important to me - when convocation rolls around it's like watching my kids graduate! We're not all horrible.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I definitely realize this. I'm a teacher myself (though for K-12). I can totally understand asking for an obit or something along those lines.
Dogpool ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:45:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If extraneous circumstances outweigh their draconian schedule they shouldn't be surprised if I file a complaint or go to their head of the department. I'm sure their boss would love to hear issues that it's their job to rectify.
TransitJohn ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:35:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easily solved by going to the office of Student Life, the Dean's office, etc.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:19:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that one quiz was more important than her grandmother's funeral...? That's fucking weird to me...
dude_icus ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are other factors that played into her not coming down. She is basically low contact with my dad, and she has always been a very private person. She knew that I had been given time off work already, so she knew I'd be there for Mom and Mom would be there for me. She had her friends at school to help her.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:24:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, I guess I judged before I knew the whole situation. I just couldn't imagine ever putting school or work ahead of my family like that though. If I missed my grandmother's funeral I don't think my parents would ever forgive me, and I can't say I'd blame them.
dude_icus ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:27:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Admittedly, for me, I would agree. I wouldn't miss it. Any blow-back I'd deal with later. However, that is also very easy for me to say since whenever I have had someone close to me pass, the people around me (be they teachers, professors or bosses) were very understanding and forgiving.
dannimatrix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I never had an issue with my professors, but my cousin almost missed our great-aunt's funeral (my grandmother's sister, we were very close to her when we were growing up) because her professor wanted some form of "proof" that a beloved member of our family was indeed dead. Personally, I would have told the guy to go fuck himself. Then again, I was an English major and English professors are super chill; no classes before noon and no funeral proof required.
Angel_Hunter_D ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:11:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fail a class and you're out tuition, miss a funeral and you're sad for a bit - but it's free.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:29:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd fail a class I paid for before missing the funeral of a grandparent. I am closer to my grandparents than most people, but still.
edit: sorry the fact that I value my family above school upsets you guys or something
stanman237 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:29:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some scholarships require you to maintain a certain grade so it could hurt you financially for the rest of college.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I would just hope that the professor wouldn't be such a dick about you going to your own grandparent's funeral...or that there was someone higher up you could go to about it if it was going to fuck you over long term...not everyone in higher ed is a robot
Angel_Hunter_D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family is all farmers, education and the $700 for each class is worth more than their funeral, they've told me that.
wakawuu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh? In high school and college I never once had a quiz or test that would have been that big a deal to miss, aside from the actual final exam of course. Maybe 10% of the final grade, at most. Which yeah, would suck to miss... but you can easily make it up.
heathergraytshirt ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:13:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I've had classes with 2 tests that make up 90% of my grade with homework taking the last 10%
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:18:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah /u/wakauu seems to have had it way easy. 90% seems extreme but on average it was around 70%+ for the classes at my school
LegendOfCodGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did say high school and college. I went to a top HS in my city and homework was worth more than any quiz or test for most classes.
W1ldYouth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:18:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many of my college classes for both my degrees had midterms/finals worth 30-45% of grade.
dude_icus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In some of her courses (and mine as well, though we majored in different things at different schools) some classes were based almost entirely on 4 tests. Miss one test and can't make it up, that's ~25% of your grade.
combatcookies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:41:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the case for me when I was studying English lit and philosophy as an undergrad. In a grad level science field now, though, it's typical for some tests to comprise up to 30% of the overall class grade.
That said, I don't see why she couldn't take the test early rather than late.
Angel_Hunter_D ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In university I've regularly had missing an in-class quiz be grounds for failure.
strybjorn77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an engineering major I had many classes where missing a single quiz, lab, or exam could mean an automatic failure
jaybee1414 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but my grandparents are more important to me than one grade. Different people have different priorities, I guess.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were other circumstances that added to this; it's wasn't solely the professor's doing but he certainly added the most ridiculous wrench in the works.
DotReality ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:53:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In some programs it can be though. I was in a very hands on tech program and department policy is if you miss 3 labs for any course the max grade you can achieve is a 49%. When my little brother was diagnosed with cancer I missed easily 5 labs in some courses to go visit him. The first 2 labs didn't even require a second thought but when it reached the third or more time I had to work it out with my profs and have them basically make it look like on paper I finished the lab, but I was lucky to have some very supportive instructors.
muesli1998 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, I understand :/
Sucks you had to go through that
KinoHiroshino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could depend on the class itself. I've had plenty of college courses that never assigned homework so your grade was based entirely on quizzes, tests, and maybe a project. If this were the case a quiz could dramatically affect the grade.
VillageDweller ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:05:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my husband was teaching college english he used to say he was saying a little prayer just before finals for all the grandparents out there. The week before finals was "open season" on grandparents - mowed down like deer in a cow pen! He never demanded any proof when a student reported a death and therefore could not write the exam or turn in a paper, but he did start asking for home addresses so that he could write condolence notes and send them. That seemed to stem the tide a bit when word got out about his method.
dude_icus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:08:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is smart. Catch the people who are lying while also being sympathetic to the people who aren't. I'm a teacher myself now so I might have to steal that idea.
sniffsbooks ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:16:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a funeral home, and it can take weeks just for us to get a death certificate back from the doctor. If anyone reading this is in a situation like this in the future, please call the funeral home. If you ask, they will make a call on your behalf or give you a signed, embossed paper stating the death of a close member has occurred.
ampereJR ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funeral homes can take what's an abnormal event for most families run as seamless as possible because they deal with it every day. In my area, it seems like funeral homes are the first to post any official notice of the death. I would accept a URL of a death notice on their website.
binomine ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:17:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a co-worker who had 2 dads die in two years.
When my boss confronted him, it turned out he had a shitty childhood. None of his extended family could afford to house him indefinitely, and none of them had their shit together enough to support him in one house, so they all took turns. When someone tried to keep him, they'd lose their job and it was back to being shuffled around.
So the amount of caregivers who he was close to was insane. They all treated him well and looked after him, but he ended up with multiple dads, moms and grandparents.
Earthling03 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:25:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually lost 4 grandparents my freshman year of college (my parents were divorced and remarried, as were their parents so I had a LOT of g'parents). My professors believed me luckily. By funeral number 3, I was sure they wouldn't. My boss didn't, however, and fired me. I went to corporate and showed them the obits with my name in all of them and got my job back after only missing 3 shifts. I barely made my rent that month and ate nothing but pasta. Fucker.
dude_icus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, glad to know you did get the job back. I was worried as my family has hit an unlucky streak these past couple years, first with Meme passing, then Pop a year later, then my dad getting really sick a few months after Pop passed. I've been lucky in that my boss was understanding.
Earthling03 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's rough and it does seem to come in waves. I hope your dad is healthy now!
cakequestions ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:16:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would this have sufficed? :http://imgur.com/zDhFXfR
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PinkDalek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One set of grandparents could divorce and one could remarry. Then you get another grandma or grandpa.
xJunon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either divorces and remarriage, or a subtle af joke about scheming students. Or a typo. It's bugging me.
dude_icus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was meant to be a joke about scheming students not keeping up with their lies. Should have made it 10 to better convey my intent :/
craigboyce ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can also take a bit of time before a death certificate is even available. They don't just pass them out at funerals.
QuattroB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if it's more common now but I technically I had 6 grandparents growing up. My dad's parents got divorced and remarried before I was born.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend actually had 6 grandparents. He wasn't close to all of them, but one of his grandfathers re-married twice.
Thedutchjelle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just bizarre. Why would people make that kind of shit up? It would be easy to check.
I had reported to my old highschool that I would be gone for one day to attend my grandmother's funeral. Going to the front reception at my old high school the following day:
"Hello, uh, I was at my grandmother's funeral yesterday. Could I have a homework exception card please, since I was unable to do any homework yesterday"
Lady: "Well then you should have planned it better"
I left with a what-the-fuck-is-even face. Thankfully every single teacher was more humane than the administration and excused my lack of work.
Somali_Imhotep ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had 6 grandparents. My grandfather on my mothers side (who I am named after) had 3 wives. While my gradfather on my fathers side had 1 wife. And FYI I have 36 uncles and aunts on my mothers side and 4 on my fathers. I legit dont have a clue how much nephews and cpusins I have. They r spread out across the world too cuz of civil war and I met my 26 year old neice from france while Im canadian.
tldr Africans
ms_bomb_diggity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather whom I was very close to died recently. Missed a week of senior year in high school. Senior year is a joke. Teachers didn't care. Except one. We have a lot of issues with her that I'm in the process of taking to the superintendent, but the point is that she asked my bf where I was. He told her. I come back to class and she screams "So were you sick all this time??!??!?" Long story short I told her I have much more important things to deal with than that class.
Bonus: she's the advisor for our Gay Straight Alliance, which I am president of. She butts into discussion and spouts her harmful opinions while getting upset at us for expressing ourselves. It's a therapy group at this point and she fucks it up
UndercoverDoll49 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An old friend of mine died this last semester. His funeral was at the same day I had a test. At least the professor understood that I was distraught and couldn't remember the exact form of the Biot-Savart law.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's any consolation, I have no idea what the Biot-Savart law is at all (aside from a cursory Google search telling me to has to do with magnetism.)
mopculturereference ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! I had six grandparents. It can happen..
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend actually has six grandparents! Though it would be weird if all 6 died in a 5 month span on time.
SuperciliousSnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if a a student of mine had five grandparents die during a semester, I'd be skeptical, too.
goalieamd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you go to the dean of that department. I did the same when a dick professor wanted a death certificate. I scheduled a meeting with the dean. Showed him the obit and promised to bring back the program from the funeral mass and I was excused from class for 3 days. I just had to make up the work I missed during that time and schedule with the professor times to meet if I missed a quiz or a presentation.
sea_of_teaaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar thing with a professor wanting like the full memorial service invitation and details, and emails from other people attending. And I wasn't even asking to miss a day of class, I was only asking if I could turn in a paper a day later.
MadotsukiInTheNexus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in college who wrote a story about spending the summer with her sick grandmother in Florida for an English class. She wasn't asking for a day off and she wasn't trying to get a higher grade by appealing to sympathy. The project was "write about something you did this summer" and that was basically all she did.
Her teacher called her into a meeting a week later, and grilled her about cheating, informing her that she was getting really tired of "dead grandma stories". It's worth noting that, at the end of the story, her grandmother was not only alive but her health was improving. She went back to her dorm in tears.
Some instructors go way too over the top with this sort of thing.
dude_icus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, what? Who cares if the story was a lie anyways? It's just an essay, and not one that sounds like it needed to be cited. That person sounds like a bitch.
MadotsukiInTheNexus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that this instructor was let go the next year because of repeated incidents like this. My friend had an insane mother who told her not to say anything because it would somehow make it look like she really was cheating, but all of those other people turning in "obviously fake" dead grandmother stories probably didn't.
Mousejunkie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both my grandfathers died during subsequent fall semesters of college right around midterm time. It sucked because I felt like all my professors thought I was lying, but nope, just really REALLY bad timing (especially the second time when I had some of the same professors).
ArousedIguana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in 3rd grade when my grandpa passed away my teacher brought me to the principles office because she thought i was lying to get out of doing work... Will never forget that walk to the office as she was pulling my arm like i had done something wrong; i was so confused...
dude_icus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would an 8 year old lie about that? What a bitch.
rezachi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I feel asking for funeral leave at work. My boss is awesome about it, but my wife's family extends pretty far due to divorces and remarriages and many were born within a few years of each other. She has lots of relatives in their 70s and 80s.
theguyshadows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, it must suck for that one person who had all 4 of his biological grandparents and his step-grandfather die all in the same semester. Poor guy, no teacher ever believed him.
someinvisiblehand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I brought in my grandfather's obituary as evidence for why I missed class but my professor still didn't let me retake a quiz I missed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both my grandmas died in the same week. Imagine explaining that to 6 teachers in one day
CC_EF_JTF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My father's death certificate took nearly four months to be issued. That's a ridiculous request.
Azertys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've read a FML a while ago, a poor girl who had to explain to her work that because she is from a reconstituted familly, her third grandmother died that year.
Skyoung93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't a photo of her at the funeral be proof enough? Why would you skip a test just to fake a death and crash a random funeral? That's... just obtuse logic imo
phoenix-corn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The death certificate thing might have been the school rule, not the professor's. I worked at one school that required us to turn in a copy to them in order to excuse absences because students were able to get maximum amounts of financial aid (and we had to track attendance and turn it in to prove they were attending as a result).
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, had no idea some schools would demand that. I don't think her school had this rule though because no other professor mentioned it.
Parallax151 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A death certificate? Jesus Christ. Jobs don't have that kind of requirement.
theamazingronathon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a slightly related to 5 grandparents note-
My company offered me a day of bereavement pay when a grandfather died last year. Then, afterwards, said I don't qualify because we don't have the same last name. Out of my six grandparents, not a single one of them have the same last name as me. The man who died last year is the man who raised my father after my dad's bio father diet, and he was who I've called "grandpa" since I was born. Dad's mom remarried, so she and her husband have a different last name from us. Then my mother's parents, and her husband's parents.
I feel like in contemporary times, saying you pay bereavement pay for the loss of a grandparent, then putting that it's only if they have the same last name as you is a total gimmick.
dude_icus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That policy makes no sense on so many levels. What if this was your mother's parents? Most women still take their husband's name when they get hitched, so your name wouldn't match them. That is an outlandishly stupid policy.
Kozinskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to hand it to the college profs I had who allowed me to take finals early and turn in a paper late due to the death of two of my grandparents two days apart. No one questioned me, I just told them and they let me get shit done so I could get on a plane.
suuupreddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the record, I enjoyed the joke.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! :D
galacticviolet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call bullshit on that prof. In my experience with this, you can't/don't get a death certificate that quickly, there would be no way to have it in time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my junior year of high school I had to take a couple days off to travel for my great-grandmother's funeral. One of those days was my AS Maths exam. I thought nothing of it, applying for a derived grade under compassionate consideration. They rejected me on the grounds that I hadn't sat 50% of the grade (it was the second of two exams, and unbeknownst to me they were weighted 45/55). I finished the year with no maths qualification, forcing me to take a stats class I didn't want, and missed out on university entrance via the Cambridge exams. I was mighty pissed.
helloskoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Just produce a corpse and I will release your daughter".
thisishowiwrite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your boyfriend is a noob. I have 8 grandparents.
A1000eisn1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a girl who did this. She talked so much that everyone knew she lived with her grandma, who died twice in two weeks. Then her other grandma died. A couple weeks later, yet a different grandma died.
When my boss called her out a week later, after she called in because she had to take her grandma to the ER she tried to convince my boss that both her biological grandmothers were lesbians.
Both the employee and my boss were lesbians, and this was in rural Alabama. The enployee than tried to claim she was being discriminated against after my boss asked for a death certificate and thretened to sue. Then never showed up again
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She could have, but I think asking people to make a copy of it just for the sake of getting out of a quiz or whatever seemed low to her. I never saw the death certificate, myself, and I honestly don't even know who would have had them or if there were any copies remaining to copy.
There are other things that went down that kind of steered her to the idea that she should stay away. She's always been a private person when it comes to grieving, so I think she didn't see the point in jumping through all those hoops when she knew that funerals aren't for her.
eHaydex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does someone have 5 grandparents?
dude_icus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the point. Some people lie so much they don't keep track of how many lies they've said so I have heard stories of kids having more than 4 grandparents dying. I mean, it's technically possible if your grandparents divorced and remarried, but certainly not common.
marvelking666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Divorce rate at 50%.
Start with 4 Grandparents.
One set (50%) divorces.
50-64% of men remarried within five years and 45-60% of women remarried within five years between 1950 and 1990, with that number being on the rise at the end of that period.
Chances are fairly high that someone ends up with 5+ grandparents.
My dad's parents divorced and his dad remarried and divorced again, but his mom never remarried. My mom's parents were happily married for almost 50 years until cancer finally got Nana last September.
My fiancรฉe had one set of grandparents stay married their whole lives and after her grandpa passed her grandma was single for 10 years before she passed. Her other set of grandparents divorced and her grandpa on that side is now with another woman.
My best friend from high school has 2 parents, 2 step-parents, 5 grandparents, and 4 step-grandparents. Granted, that isn't how life works out for everyone but it's more common to have more grandparents than your comment suggests.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Divorce rate is actually about 40% and has been decreasing in recent years, and that number doesn't take into account various factors. A lot of grandparents today were married from 1940s through the 1960s when people were far less likely to get a divorce. Yes, obviously people can get divorced once their children are grown, but statistically, people are less likely to get a divorce as they get older with 20-somethings making up the most likely age cohort to get a divorce.
As we see more Baby Boomers and Gen-Xers (people who are likely to get married sometime during the 1970s-1990s) become grandparents, we are going to see more people who 5+ grandparents, yes. However, for people like me whose grandparents are members of the Silent Generation, divorce is not common for that group. (Remarriage may be more common because some do remarry after the death of their first spouse.)
PinkDalek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One set of grandparents divorce and someone remarries. Boom. 5 grandparents.
borderwave2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you go to the department chair and file a complaint against that professor. If the student is in good academic standing it will be a non issue.
RedBaron13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend called in to work once because his aunt had passed and he wanted to attend the wake. Boss said sure no problem but need some sort of proof. So at the wake my friend sends his boss a picture of the casket. Boss then says that doesn't count because he wasn't in the picture. Friend immediately quit and found a better job.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Admittedly, why couldn't he just get the funeral home to write a note saying so-and-so passed or bring in an obit or something? A photo is a really weird form of proof for a wake/funeral.
ROOTCasper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other side of that coin, I had a friend forge a funeral pamphlet to get around missing a psychology final. He wasn't a great student and attended the class so little that he actually missed the day of their mid-term exam. When he found out later that he had missed he used the fake pamphlet to set up a re-take. The worst part was he used one of his actual close friend's picture and information as the 'deceased'. We told him it was bad karma, but it worked out.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's low. I have never lied about someone dying or being seriously hurt to get out of something. I have made up excuses, sure, but always ones where I was sick.
FUZxxl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can you have five grandparents die? I thought you could only have up to four grandparents?
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biologically, yes, but if people divorce and remarry then you can have more grandparents than 4. My boyfriend has 6 grandparents because his mother's parents divorced and her dad remarried twice. Really you could argue he has 8 because his mother also remarried and his step-dad's parents could be considered "his grandparents." He isn't close to them whatsoever, so he doesn't count them.
t014y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the patent calling in should be good enough. If the patent is in on it there's not much the teacher can do anyway.
RyadNero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will never understand:
How a teacher could react this way
How a student can just accept it and roll along with it
FUCK THAT. If a teacher rejected an obituary from me as proof one of my relatives had died I would skip the class, go to the funeral, and immediately go to his supervisor/principle. If they also turned me away I would go to the school board and/or the parent teachers association (PTA). Some people in this world are shitty and won't believe you, but it's your fault if you think the buck stops with them. No way. Go above the teachers head on that.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a little different in high school versus college. In college, I can understand asking for some proof like an obit or a pamphlet from the funeral or something. (Death certificate is ridiculous though.)
In high school, it's not really questioned when a kid says someone passed. Probably because it's a lot easier to check for the truth because all it takes is a call home to "prove it." As a high school teacher, I haven't had to deal with a kid lying about someone passing yet, or at least to the point where there are so many people dying in your life, that I'm getting suspicious. If a kid tells me someone passed, I just take it as that and give them time to make-up work.
Feebedel324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would have pissed me off. I would have taken a selfie with the body with a sign that said "is this enough proof?"
Estridde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had both my grandpas and my step grandfather all die within months of each other. I was finishing undergrad at the time and not a single professor cut me any slack. I was writing papers at the funerals. Now I am a professor and I still think what the professors did was a dick move. I had a 3.9 GPA and never missed class in all the years I had known them.
dude_icus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very sorry to hear that happened to you. I couldn't imagine being so cut-and-dry with someone claiming to have just lost someone, especially when you have absolutely no proof that they are lying.
SeattleBattles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a pretty good lesson for life. It is not at all uncommon to require people to document claims.
IDCFFSGTFO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You just roll her old bones on down here and I'll see if I can dig up your daughter."
frickenheck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have reported that to the chair or dean
fluffyxsama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just go to the fucking funeral and if the teacher wanted to be an asshole about it, or if missing that ONE day of class somehow completely ruined my grade b/c the cunt wouldn't take an obituary as proof, I'd just take it to the dean.
xUsuSx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exceptionally dumb.
Why not just call the parents to make sure they knew their kid wanted to miss class.
kellytoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, how do 5 grandparents... ohhhhh
johnq-pubic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They took attendance at your sister's University??
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot more are moving towards that. My school also had a policy where the professors were supposed to keep track of attendance.
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An obit proves someone is dead, it doesn't prove that the person is related to your student. They could pick out some rando that says "Mrs. so and so is survived by her children x, and grandkids where the student happens to share a first name with one of the grandkids.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But a death certificate doesn't prove a relationship with a grandchild either. It would only show the spouse and the informant, if that's different from spouse.
blunt_toward_enemy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had 5 grandparents. Grandmother on my dad's side remarried so my dad's step-dad was my 3rd grandfather.
Kheyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So why not just get a copy of the death certificate? Is it hard to acquire in the states?
dude_icus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Virginia, a grandchild cannot request a copy of the death certificate unless they are a direct beneficiary of their estate until 25 years after the fact when the death becomes "public record."
omgheadsonfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have 9 grandparents, not including great grandparents. And 2 of them did die within 2 months of eachother :/
StAnonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But...what if you actually have 5 Grandparents? At one time, I had 8 cause Great Grandparents. I swear, my family lives forever!
bucket888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if a parent got divorced and remarried? You can have 8 easy.
jkimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor ask for proof to makeup a test when my grandmother had died, so I just gave him her death certificate. Worked out pretty well but it did seem a little odd.
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your sister should have taken a selfie with grandma and sent it to the professor. Or made a sign that said "Fuck You Professor (name)" and put it in Grandma's hand for a photo.
No, no, no, no, no, that was a joke, she should not have done that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:15:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 grandparents?
Dd_8630 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:30:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... how?
Constantine_John ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:13:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait-- 5 grandparents? How many parents did this kid have?
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, my sister and I only had 4 grandparents. They never divorced and neither did our parents. However, I have heard stories from professors about students not keeping track of their lies and ending up with supposedly 5 dead grandparents that conveniently died on test days.
ICreditReddit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:30:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
er..... 5?
locks_are_paranoid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:16:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It should be relatively simple to get a copy of the death certificate.
dude_icus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Virginia, a grandchild cannot request a copy of the death certificate unless they are a direct beneficiary of their estate until 25 years after the fact when the death becomes "public record."
AlsoNotaSpider ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:27:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the one hand, you've got a point. I've seen people use some pretty incredible lies to try and save their asses.
That said, when I was a TA in grad school, I always ended up giving kids the benefit of the doubt.
Part of it was that I'd had an insane number of health issues my senior year of college. To this day I don't know how I managed to get through all of that and graduate on time. By the middle of that year I'd dropped 20 lbs and felt like I'd aged about 80 years. So when a freshman pre-med student came to me, almost in tears, saying that she had a lot going on outside of school and needed an extension on her lab report, I told her not to worry about it and to take her time.
Also, dead grandparents always got a free pass. I wasn't about to punish the honest students that were in pain just to spite the liars that couldn't get their shit together in time. Their laziness will eventually come back to bite them anyway.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:59:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my highschool years I told I teacher I wasn't going to be able to show up to the test because I pissed off the wrong people and was scheduled to be shot that day.
Test day comes, I don't show up, no I didn't get shot, however I went home for lunch then to the gas station (next period was physics, the class I had I test in) andddddd the gas station got robbed and I along with 6 others were involved in a hostage situation. Needless to say she didn't believe me until she saw the news.
I don't think I ever actually took that test...
clamdiggin ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:44:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the teacher maybe could have handled it better. If a student has a traumatic experience like that, why not call up the parents and offer your condolences and ask if there is anything they can do to help the student cope. That will tell them fairly quickly if the student was lying. Unless the parents were in on it that is.
IcedDante ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. The teacher sounds like a bit of a shithead.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:31:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One day in high school some random teacher was pleased to see that I was "back from the dead." I was so confused. Apparently my brother had told his maths teacher that I died. I did not die.
dead-and-confused ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:41:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you meant that the brother who died was the student and the teacher asked for proof that he was actually dead and not just skipping... So in comparison, the truth doesn't really sound all that bad
_Pornosonic_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend ask me to break his arm so that he doesn't have to go to test after 3 days of adderall induced crazy studying. I said i wouldn't do it and took off to the test. After the test (which he didn't attend) I learn he jumped from a 2 meters high fence head first. He broke his arm, gave himself a concussion, multiple bruises. Everyone knew he was the kind of person to do crazy shot to avoid responsibility, but there was no proof he did it on purpose. He got an extension. And a bill for medical services - something like 8 thousand bucks, which he didn't have.
And he failed the test even after being allowed to take his finals after he his medical issues were taken care of.
The guy was kicked out next semester.
HighendBark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was home? I don't understand that sentence
HarrysonTubman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:54:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was in college over winter break. His brother passed during winter break. I don't remember the details of why he wanted an extension or to be excused, but that's what I meant.
irotsoma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heck even as an adult, jobs asked me to bring in proof that my relative died and that I was at a funeral. I don't think it's at all unreasonable to ask a kid to prove it.
jerkenstine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Steve, always a stickler with stuff like that.
sorator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMO asking for proof is fine, so long as you allow some time to get the proof. Like, it may be that I can't get you the obituary/death certificate/whatever until after the funeral, but if I know it's coming, let me miss and make up whatever I'm missing once I do show up with proof.
RobinsEggTea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma passed away and I went to class anyways to participate in a group presentation.
I started crying at the beginning of class and my teacher said I could go see the Chaplain, all sympathetic.
Then she told me when I returned that I would have to redo the entire project, except by myself, and I couldn't use any of my groups information because that would be plagiarizing, even the stuff I could prove I contributed to the original project.
So the Chaplain had a word with her. And as a compromise I was able to present it privately just to her and I could do basically anything and get a bottom grade of a B-.
Still total bullshit.
pyr666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the tactful way to do this is to call the parents to offer your condolences
apackofmonkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was a university professor, he always told me that it's ASTOUNDING how many great-aunts die the day before a test.
9999monkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hurls urn there! are you happy now, you sadistic monster?
brosenfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like the family has never seen Ferris Bueler's Day Off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a classmate lie and say his aunt died and couldn't do some report.
A week later that aunt actually died and he had to miss a test because of it.
RockLoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After a death in my family and a late submission that was capped I had to submit evidence to uncap it and I thought that was perfectly reasonable.
It sucks that dishonesty of some people make it necessary but that's not the fault of the assessors.
Rephaite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still think framing it as asking for proof is a bit of a dick move if someone has allegedly died.
Calling the parents to offer condolences would be a neighborly thing to do if someone had died, but would bring to light any trickery had there been any by the student.
Rabuiods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awful. As a college instructor, I never require any proof for funerals, because as my mentor said "if they are making up the death of a friend or family member, they have more to worry about than missing a class."
Icsto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Prove to me your brother died of a heroin overdose" is pretty ridiculous dude. Just let it go and if you find out later he's lying deal with it then.
GroovinWithAPict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once got an in-school suspension for some random bs, for that next day, the Friday I was going to Manhattan to visit relatives w/ my folks. My VP would only allow me to postpone said ISC for Monday if I went to the Carnegie Deli and and brought him back a napkin with the circumference of a pastrami on rye drawn on. Grease stains were obliviously necessary.
H_is_for_Human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite story from high school was that I was in a math class second semester of senior year (read: accepted into college and basically just needed to not fail). This teacher was notorious for only having surprise quizzes, no announced tests except the final. Ostensibly, the reason for this was to encourage studying the material consistently rather than cramming for a test and forgetting everything the day after. Hilariously (from my perspective anyway) I ended up missing 5 days of class and each of those days was a surprise quiz. I couldn't be penalized for missing them because they were excused absences, but I also couldn't just take them another day, because without the factor of surprise it wouldn't be fair to the other students. Finally, I ended up being in class for one quiz, so my entire grade was the one quiz and the final.
The best part is that afterwards the teacher sent me an email asking how I knew which days to skip, as though I was doing it on purpose. She also noted that the last quiz she had prepared well ahead of time and gave it only when she saw I was in class that day.
asymmetrical_sally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's extremely weird, even in a large school staff members are usually made aware when a student suffers from the loss of an immediate family member. My dad died when I was in grade ten, and I'm pretty sure I was part of a staff meeting that day.
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of Ed Rooney's "show me the body" policy in Ferris Behuler's day off.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get wanting proof, but it needs to be reasonable proof. We lost my oldest daughter and my grandpa within four months of each other. My sister decided to take a leave of bereavement at school. She had the prayer card from my daughter's mass and my grandpa's obituary. We didn't have an obituary for my daughter because everyone whonwould want to know already knew. The teacher knew, but not the person who handles the administration part of the leave. She wanted my daughter's death certificate. My sister called and I flipped out. I was in a very bad place and I was pissed that even with proof they wanted more proof. I told her I wouls take mt daughter's ashes to the school as proof, but they were not getting her death certificate (lots of people use them to commit fraud) and of I had to come down I was making a scene. The teacher stepped in and handled it.
It wasn't the need for proof that upset me. It was the fact they had proof, but they wanted something they were in bo way entitled to have.
stackered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I had a friend kill himself 2 weeks into college and my professor asked me for proof. I literally told him to fuck off.
Its not his job to be a detective. Especially on sensitive things like that.
Kanotari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow teachers, here's how I've handled this before. Call to offer your condolences. Or call to discuss grades/behavior/whatever excuse you need, and then slide the condolences in. If it's real, you don't sound like an ass. It it's fake, there's outrage directed at the student.
katiedid05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had this friend in college who was a social work major and had classes with this girl who had gotten engaged very publically two years prior on our campus. Her boyfriend was her highschool sweetheart, went to college together, at this point they had been together for like 6 years. I had psych classes with him and he was a smarmy fuck. Well, he decides that the best time to dump her was 20 minutes before her last final of the year because his feelings about the situation was distracting him during his finals. It was super out if the blue- they were literally planning on getting married in 2 months.
She actually came to her final presentation absolutely sobbing. The teacher literally just ended up grading everybody on their Powerpoint content and cancelled the class for everyone to provide support for her
ameliabedelia7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My college requested a death certificate so that I could miss 1 day of classes.
frogger2504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simple solution: Wait until the kid comes back to school. Request proof then, when it isn't as sensitive. If unable to provide proof, don't give them the test they missed, mark it as failed.
Cerulean_Shades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 3.8 GPA in a math class and had never missed a day. (I was on the Dean's List several times and graduated with 2 majors and a minor at almost a cumulative 4.0 GPA. In other words I was a good student and really enjoyed school. )
I missed 1 test because my dog died in my arms from a heart attack due to heart murmurs the night before. I came in later that day because the test was weighing on my conscious. My eyes were practically swollen shut because I hadn't slept and had been crying so hard. My face was still red and I burst into tears at the drop off a hat, and while talking to my professor when asking if I could still take it or do extra credit to make up for it. I wasn't even trying to get out of the test!
He told me I should have shown up and that I was just lying to get out of the test. He said several cruel things but by then I was crying again so hard that I don't even remember. Full on hiccuping sobs.
This dog wasn't just a dog to me. She got me through the terrible times of abuse. She was the thing that kept the clouds away. I bent my life around making her happy for 14 years. After I lost her, I just never felt the same. And I still cry at the drop off a hat when I think about her. She died February 12, 2000 11 pm. I'll never forget. No matter how many dogs I've had, none have ever been like her.
Sorry for the tangent!
kangaroo_literacy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in high school tennis there was a girl who told our coach that she couldn't make a game because her grandmother passed away. The coach was actually a sweet lady, and she called the girl's home and left a message expressing her condolences. Of course, the girl's mom called the coach back and said that nobody had died and she had no clue what she was talking about. Let's just say this girl did not come to any more games and did not try out for the team the next year.
suffer-cait ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, when my roommate died I got this from fucking comcast. I called to switch our account to my name, and they wanted a death certificate to do it.
milesdizzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be completely easy for the teacher to reschedule the test or find an alternative assignment though. I've had teachers do that once or twice - plus if it's too crushing most schools will give you the semester off with a full refund. I mean, it goes both ways - if you just need a week to recuperate, the prof should just reschedule - if you're asking to actually be excused from work, you're going to need proof.
HarrysonTubman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher was fully willing to be accommodating, that was not the issue. The issue was that the teacher wanted to see some type of evidence that he was telling the truth. Provided proof, whether he wanted it scratched from the transcript, fully excused, rescheduled, all would have been fine IIRC.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 14:13:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rainzer ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:31:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except obituaries require the family to have submitted a death notice to the newspaper. What if they don't? Plenty of people die all the time without showing up in the obits
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:28:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Umm, I'm a grown adult working at a job and they still wanted me to bring in the handout from my grandmother's funeral as verification even though other people from my job also attended the funeral. It was absolutely reasonable for a teacher to ask for the same and more than likely it is probably a school policy that he was enforcing, no some anti-dead family member vendetta.
HarrysonTubman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:38:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, but I'm sure that there are a huge number of false sob stories of serious matters that teachers deal with. People are pretty shitty, and I wouldn't put it past someone to use something like that. If a quick email can make sure it's not some trick, that's pretty reasonable.
rdntknight ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:19:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, my gosh! They were offended! Whooptie-fuck you-do!
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:24:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not offending people used to be called common courtesy... now apparently it's some kind of political football?
Nah, I'll stick to my old-fashioned way of trying not to offend people without a very good reason.
rainzer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:33:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You stop giving a shit about that possibility when you work a job where kids tell you their 9th grandma died to avoid an assignment
wensul ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:07:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People choose to be offended.
litux ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physically attacking people is frowned upon. Good people don't do it. So there are people who abuse your unwillingness to fight back. They get what they want by being violent and/or threatening. Muggers. Bullies. Aggressive beggars.
Being mean to people is frowned upon. Good people don't do it. So there are people who abuse your unwillingness to be mean, or to seem rude, or offensive.
AssinineAssassin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:39:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can support this. I'd be pretty annoyed if my employer asked for proof prior to bereavement leave.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:14:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's brutal. First of all, it's all a family can do to keep functioning after a child dies. After my son died I was in such a fog that I was vaguely aware of the totally irrational and unreasonable expectations that people in society around me placed on me and my family, but looking back now, several years later, the heaviness of those expectations is really obvious to me, and I find it completely infuriating.
It's one thing if a kid is talking about a grandparent or aunt or uncle or something, but a sibling!? That's pretty easy for the teacher to verify independently without adding to the family's grief by questioning the validity and demanding proof. That is so unbelievably inappropriate, and I'm actually shocked that so many people here think that it's a reasonable thing to ask the family to provide. I would have flipped my shit too, and I actually think that the teacher should have been pulled aside and had a stern talking to about what is and is not appropriate when dealing with deaths like that, and perhaps a little education on how to independently verify it. Not fired, but definitely educated.
SnoopynPricklyPete ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Umm if you are in college, you are paying for the classes, you should be able to come and go as you please, and of course you are responsible for work due, but life is too complicated to have to be at every class every day, every week.
My Uni teacher, who had just won teacher of the year, said, never let us teachers forget that here, WE WORK FOR YOU. I loved that sentiment and my mom and wife are public school teachers, so I clearly understand the importance of respect and attendance there, but with college students is ridiculous at times.
HarrysonTubman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait...
If you're using the word Uni, wouldn't that mean you're from somewhere where the government pays the tuition?
SnoopynPricklyPete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brothers were born in France, I was born in and went to college in the US, sorry we use both words interchangeably in our house. Sorry for the mixup ;)
FamousOhioAppleHorn ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:02:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, Coach, I think I'll be feeling gay on Wednesday."
"That's okay, hon. You fight for your right to fly that flag. You don't have to do the presentation"
"Thanks!"
"Instead I want a single spaced 10 page paper. About the history of LGBT people in the field this class is studying. Also a poster board, too"
"I think I'm coming down with fatal Ebola on Wednesday, now that I think about it"
Sidorakh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:54:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That'll be one paper on the effects of Ebola on LGBT people in the field this class is studying!"
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:42:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bestoftldr
mapbc ยท 226 points ยท Posted at 14:20:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I bet she had.
ObviousLobster ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:46:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gutter <-> Mind
BrotherChe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gutter ))<>(( Gutter forever
ElderCunningham ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:33:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you.
canoe123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted, got the joke, upvoted.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:57:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To clarify, you did fail this kid right?
pghreddit ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom, dad I've got some good news and bad news."
"Give us the bad news first."
"I'm failing my class."
"What! OK then, tell us the good news."
"I'm a lesbian."
parental facepalms
FlamingWings ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so just bad news?
Virtueslasttrick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too gay to go to class
Ptizzl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:08:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like she wanted a free pass. Didn't work, so she just figured she would use that as her justification.
InterMando5555 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:19:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best TLDR I have seen. 4 upvotes for you Glen CoCo
MADDOGCA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:20:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"She was literally too gay to function."
Best TL;DR summary I've ever read.
NewShoes4U ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:34:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think only Janice can say that.
OnStilts ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:52:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude! Your TL;DR! :D
JShad007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:52:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/bestoftldr
InvaderProtos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite TL;DR of the week.
mvjestiq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:18:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still giggling at the use of "lick of work" in this context.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.
h-l-aych ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:24:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up vote for MG reference
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm taking master's classes right now and my professor decided she wanted to do a video conference. No less than six times she told us that even if we are on our death bed we HAVE to attend via video. My son just happened to break his hand about an hour before the conference. I apologized to the nursing staff and joined in the class from the emergency room but put the microphone on mute and put in ear plugs in one ear so I could listen to it without interrupting the nurses. When the teacher came on she was doing roll call and when she got to me I explained that I was listening but I wouldn't be able to respond very much because I was in the emergency room with my son. She insisted I turn the camera to see and the doctor and nurses waved. She then said that she admired my dedication but there was a limit and i could email for the notes later.
Like I really wanted to attend a video conference while I'm in the ER and you can guarantee that if I refused to show her the room or had tried to call ahead she would not have let me out of it. It was only because the whole class was gasping that she even let me go.
theramennoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally can't even.
oldmanbombin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best tldr
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU'RE SO INSENSITIVE [/sullenteen]
hpotter29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope afterward you sent the parents a link to helpful "Supporting your Lesbian Daughter" sites.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:25 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hpotter29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:07 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good. I was kidding but that didn't come across. I have to stop doing that. You did the right thing.
loopywolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on, man. She wasn't too gay too function..! She was too gay to function
strngesight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I should've used that excuse back in school. "Sorry, I can't do my homework, I'm gay."
sinnykins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for your mean girls reference.
Chibi_rox3393 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The TL;DR is amazing thank you!
disambiguated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see what you did there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get the same thing in theatre, first night flu.
It isn't actually a conscious thing most of the time, people really do get ill in various ways including major things like breaking bones or having a sudden life crisis as well as the more common virus/fever/lost voice, but it's definitely psychosomatic because it's predictable.
The funny thing is so many people believe it's a unique thing to them or their production but when you've done a few productions you should know it's standard human behaviour and plan for it.
pedone1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably lied or just used it
mtayvaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She should have waited until she gave her parents her grades. Probably would have distracted them a little.
roenick99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"A lick of work". Haha. Nice!
MaddenMan73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did she score a Q+ on her presentation?
danomano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
intentional??
TheChumOfChance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a gay friend in college who would do this, if she was on the borderline of failing, for the final paper, she'd squeeze in a paragraph about how the class made her feel more comfortable with herself.
redfoot62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not conservative, though I am kind of a cynic. Been to college, and I live by a Campus and know the atmosphere. When you live in an atmosphere that usually bends over backwards to create safe spaces and wants to dedicate themselves to providing ample support towards the LGBT...what I'm saying is...you had a student who knew they were failing and wanted to play the "Is my Professor cool/liberal/weak enough to give me a pass without me doing any work once he or she discovers I'm doing this brave courageous thing to do as a GAY PERSON in this modern hate filled society?" game.
kuflon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you have excused her if she'd come the next day totally broken and told you the same story? (without hearing it before of course)
Perverted_Manwhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She did it on purpose to have am excuse for failing when she talks to her parents.
UninvitedGhost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why gay people even have sex in closets.
armyhalfday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in college whose favorite excuse for getting out of assignments was "my sister came out as gay and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it." FWIW, I went to one of the gayest and most liberal schools in the country.
ZaydSophos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should've just told you she loved you, like Ross' student in Friends.
Nephroidofdoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds to me like she used the excuse so she could try to pull the discrimination card if you flunked her.
yamfood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lascivus-autem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"but i love you dude"
Teacherofmice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:35 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my students was on the verge of failing my class and not graduating. I told her to bring her assignment to the next class, our last one before it was due, and I would help her make sure it passed. Instead she booked her driving test for the afternoon my class was on and missed my lesson so she could practice driving for her test. When I asked why she couldn't do it later she had no reason at all, she just cried and said she really wanted to do it then. She failed that assignment, failed my class and as fas as I know failed school just because she couldn't wait 1 more day to get her license.
reallydumb4real ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's only okay when I say it!
HuoXue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's strange how I can remember so much from something 13 years ago.
MinistryOfMinistry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:01:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a teacher? Outside the US you'd be expected to commit seppuku.
MachoNachoMan69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:57:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"She hadn't done a lick of work..." not accurate...
Weyl-fermions ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:58:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely have the class send a "Happy Coming Out" rainbow bouquet the next day.
Angel_Hunter_D ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:08:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a gay who was too guy top function. His coming out was much less dramatic than he'd have liked. His parents said "no shit. you'd better be gay, you've been painting your eyebrows on for a month. Now flutter over to the trash you faerie and take it out like we told you yesterday." +
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:14:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Pheonixi3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:18:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"oh my god how exciting! can i come?"
just to see the reaction, yknow?
Kobato_Snow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:29:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why you say "too gay to function" when you said yourself it was because she hadn't done anything that she didn't go. But hey, being offensive is funny I guess...
bitcleargas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoulda just said, that's ok, hand it in the next day...
naturalwonders ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are a teacher and you use "to" instead of "too"? This is troubling.
Clayterss ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 15:33:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: ...that's why the earth is round
Student: but Tila Tequila said it's flat on twitter. Isn't it?
Me: stunned silence
formative_informer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:00:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Mr. Trump, just because it is on Twitter...
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:16:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't know that about Tila Tequila?
suicidalbarbiedoll ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:32 on March 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I first saw that article on Facebook, I made a comment where I tagged my sister and made a very inside joke about my mom probably believing this. Well my mom did actually believe that and read the article and as she was going through the comments, some how stumbled upon my comment and lost her shit, called me crying at how hurt she was for making fun of her. Thankfully, after a week or so, I was able to convince her that the earth is in fact NOT FLAT! SMH!
Hamsternoir ยท 245 points ยท Posted at 14:20:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a casual lecturer and have a young family so only work the hours I'm paid.
Quite often I'll get a student not show for the entire semester then in the last week appear and ask why I can't teach them out of hours.
There have been tears and complaints when I've basically said that if they'd shown up to class they'd know what they were doing and I have better things to do with my life than support lazy students.
SuperSamoset ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:35:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Annnnd this is why you should go over the class roster and drop everyone with particularily poor attendance right before midterms.
Hamsternoir ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:54:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I could I would but they aren't students they are customers. Numbers = $$$
JohnnyFoxborough ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where I went to school, after the first week of class, you were stuck paying for the whole semester.
dewymeg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. I remember our drop day being about a month before the end of our semester.
Tysonzero ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk about that. I mean if students attending is important for the quality of the class (group based stuff / student participation etc.) then sure. But IMO lectures should basically always be optional in college, grades should be based on tests and maybe homework but not just on showing up, if you can learn the material your own way or just know it already you shouldn't be punished. I know I have often not gone to class because I find lectures harder to learn from them textbooks and online material most of the time, or just because I know most of the material already.
watson-and-crick ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:57:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. Often I find myself sitting in class ignoring the teacher because I understand everything from the slides they posted the night before
dewymeg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:56:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My father had a college class where you could either attend the class and take quizzes or turn in so many papers on assigned topics (I think it was a paper every two weeks). He chose the papers. I would've, too.
gino188 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:27:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here is the thing tho, the dude is talking about ppl that never show up and never bother to learn the shit on their own time..then a week before exams they expect the prof/teacher to help them with EVERYTHING. hell no. if you were going to do that then ask the teacher questions once in a while out of class...but to pile it all on at the end? then u deserve what you get.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:50:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just let them try.
aussie-vault-girl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:18:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would take all of my self control to not bust out laughing at those students.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you still got paid for the time they wasted
gino188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
good. let them figure it out.
devilpanda555 ยท 441 points ยท Posted at 15:38:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a tutor and not really a question, but was trying to explain to one girl doing her GCSEs how the start of the word for the alkanes shows how many carbon atoms there are (e.g. like octane has 8 and decane as 10 etc.). Asked her how many pentane had. She didn't know. Asked her how many sides a pentagon has. She didn't know. Proceeded to blow her mind by drawing a pentagon. Turns out she had never come across the concept of a five sided shape before.
Edit for grammar
milkysniper ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 18:51:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's only after entering computer science that it occurs to me how many people don't know even basic trigonometry, geometry or algebra
They always ask me why they would ever need to know it if they can get by without it
I always explain that it doesn't make it possible to live, just that it makes your life a fuckload easier
code- ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 19:07:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like a square but... Whoa...
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 22:19:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy drawing "Alright, notice how what i'm drawing is starting to look like a square"
Pauses "Now, this is where the twist comes in"
Crowd goes fucking wild
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:08:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiich peeooooopppllllllleeeeeeeeeeee
hadfordkid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
C5H12
For all who are wondering
obsessedcrf ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:55:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonnieboychoi ยท 5958 points ยท Posted at 13:49:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in 8th grade sex-ed class, we had a box where students could submit questions anonymously. One day, the teacher read aloud one of the questions which asked, "My dad's penis is circumcised but mine is not. Does this mean he isn't my dad?"
Yes, he believed circumcision was hereditary.
Socialbutterfinger ยท 1639 points ยท Posted at 14:48:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless his heart. Those anonymous question boxes are so useful. Someone in my sex ed class wanted to know "where the bone comes from." I'm so glad people had a way to get answers to this stuff pre-internet. Or post-internet, but especially pre-internet.
suusemeid ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 15:57:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, for a lot of mammals the boner is caused by an actual bone.
Socialbutterfinger ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:13:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally a fair question, and I'm glad they got an answer.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:33:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend in grade school thought the same thing. One day we were talking about falling on an erection and he said yeah breaking that bone would hurt I said "you mean hip bone?" he said "no your dick bone" the following conversation led me to make fun of him for years. We were only 12 but he still believes in ghosts to this day so he isnt the most educated person I know.
khaeen ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 17:37:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be aware, you can actually break your dick if you bend it too far while hard. You aren't breaking a bone, but you are rupturing the blood vessel in your dick. Google at your own risk.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only do one thing in bed that could result in that. Plus my brass balls protect by taking the brunt of the trauma
swag01 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:16:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think ghosts are real, and I think many people don't think they're real because they've never seen one (I've never seen one either).
TheLurkingMenace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:26:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question, why do you think they are real even though you've never seen one?
swag01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:28:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read nonfiction books about them when I was a little kid. And in one of them, I read that ghosts are supposed to leave Earth and go to the afterlife. But some are either unable or unwilling to go, so they stay on Earth. I've heard that right after people die in a hospital, you may see their ghost for a very brief moment. I've also heard stories told by people on TV about their ghost sightings that sound realistic to me, and a road that's practically a death trap where you may encounter a ghost on that road. All this has led me to believe that ghosts are definitely real, but you just rarely see them.
TheLurkingMenace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see. You sound quite credulous. Is there anything you don't believe in?
swag01 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:39:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unicorns, dragons, fairies, santa claus, etc...(I can't remember all of 'em right now.)
TheLurkingMenace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, why don't you believe in these things?
swag01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unicorns and Dragons and pure myth, I doubt there's any proof or science behind fairies, and I know the truth behind santa claus and why he's not real...
TheLurkingMenace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But there's exactly as much proof behind ghosts as any of those. There may be fewer people who believe in those than believe in ghosts, but there are people who do, even in countries like the USA. Many children believe in Santa Claus, and so do some adults. What makes those sort of beliefs incredible to you?
ShadowCory1101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't want to bring alarm but I thought you should know that you have a ghost in you right now.
cheapbastardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And bones! Aghhhh!
hasafewbuckstospare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:06 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it is fun to suspend disbelief and entertain the idea of a lot of things that can't actually be proved. I suppose I'm as agnostic about ghosts or aliens as I am about a deity, or deities.
sweet-cuppin-cakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've come to discover that a surprising number of people in this world believe in ghosts, including educated people.
RedHeadHermione ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:23:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a penis-bone necklace for sale in a hunting magazine once... didn't need to know about them... or see them...
_atomic_garden ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:18:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah yes, and bull penis canes, and bull scrotum.. hanging scrotum sacks? Not sure the purpose of that one. Also you can walk into just about any pet store and buy bully sticks. Guess what those are.
cheapbastardo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:23:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sticks you hit bullies with?
RedHeadHermione ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nasty bull-penis chews for dogs.
stephj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:06 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not wrong but you're not exactly right
rocked_licker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:51:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom bought me a ulu (curved cutting knife) from her trip in Alaska, she knew I'd love it because it's supposedly made from a fossilized walrus penis bone. I have a very immature sense of humor.
CounterSniped ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have a very thoughtful mother.
RedHeadHermione ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't smell as bad as cow hooves, though.
Latromi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:11 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to necro, but I had to share anyways.
About two or three years ago I was at a museum with my mother. Some guy had donated his own bones and the bones of his dog to be on display together.
My mother (in her early 60s now) pointed at the dogs penis bone and asked what it was.
"Well you know they call an erection a boner? That's partly why."
She was super embarrassed. She asked me why I knew this. I literally only looked at books about animals all through elementary school. Some had bone diagrams.
So I guess you'd be surprised how few people know that.
Samazonison ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 15:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in school pre-internet and we didn't have an anonymous question box. I was just very ignorant until my first boyfriend. Thankfully he wasn't a total jerk about that kind of thing. He was a total jerk about many other things, but not that.
KayBee10 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:20:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Plus I grew up in the ultra conservative south where penis is a swear word. I'm ashamed to say I didn't know what circumcision was until my second year in college ๐
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:31:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an uncircumcised male and wondered why my penis didn't look like my "cousins" (very close family friends). I don't think I figured it out until I was in college IIRC. That question popped up when I was 6.
KayBee10 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really comforting to know I'm not alone on this
Willyjwade ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who isn't circumcised and it wasn't until his first girlfriend have him a blowjob that he found out why his dick looked different, he said she looked up from her knees after he warned her it looked weird and she said " you idiot you aren't circumcised that's why it looks like this"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. I thought "weener" and "pee pee" were the actual terms for it until like 2nd grade.
datchilla ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 16:47:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, boys are jerks
strangeshrimp ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:34:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am jerk.
doessomethings ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:34:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, girls are assholes.
tehlemmings ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:02:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we can all agree that children are monsters.
hasafewbuckstospare ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:08:35 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seconded, am also a jerk
MadotsukiInTheNexus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:01:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really surprising how little people know about sex when they've had a very protective background. One of my friends didn't know that masturbation was something women could do until it came up in a conversation with her roommate in college. Not because she hadn't done it, but because for whatever reason, she thought that masturbation had to involve a penis.
willi_con_carne ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:30:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some one asked the teacher "have you had sex?" Another asked "is lube poisonous"
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did the teacher answer the first one?
willi_con_carne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:28 on February 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it was "what do you think?"
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:04 on February 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no good answer to that question
SaberDart ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:09:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pre-internet answer: "I must be like Wolverine!!"
Childlike_wildlife ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:43:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Bless his heart..." - Found the southerner
Socialbutterfinger ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:13:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not southern, it's just a hella useful phrase :-)
Kakarot_faps ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:41:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Pacific Northwesterner
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:40:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the Life is Strange fan. I'm in Arizona, and I found that word had inserted itself into my vocabulary one day when I used it without even thinking.
_atomic_garden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
_atomic_garden ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhat used in the Atlantic Northeast (aka the Northeast), at least in the late 90s. Though maybe people just really wanted to be from Seattle.
ButternutSasquatch ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:46:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. If you had ultra-conservative parents in pre-internet times, sex stuff was left up to the imagination and whatever equally ridiculous bullshit your friends told you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And your dad's secret playboy stash that you found one time...
Hates_escalators ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:42:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Humans don't have a penis bone. Aka baculum.
loopywolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can find all the answers on the internet.. 90% of the time. Trouble is, you never know when you got them.
PC_2_weeks_now ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cant stop laughing at these!
scenario_analyzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yahoo answers is the new anonymous question box.
Pregananant anyone?
pivotraze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I'm 21 and don't understand how it works. I know it's not an actual bone. Don't understand it. I feel dumb.
GringoDeMaio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't so much stupidity as being a little shit, but someone from my grade submitted:
Is masturbation possible for women and, if so, demonstrate.
ennyLffeJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It comes from the Bone Zone.
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I rotate in a class about Sex and Relationships, I have a drop box that I put up before class. In college. Some of these questions make me wonder about the state of our porn and sex education.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a good question and a good educational moment. Vast majority of mammals have a penis bone called a baculum. Humans don't. So to get erect, the corpus spongiosa (or corpi spongiosum?) have to become engorged with blood to make it stiff, like in a water bed. So the term comes from the idea that an erect penis is "hard as bones."
hasafewbuckstospare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:09 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but it's slightly amusing anyway, maybe one person will see it. When I was in middle school I asked, via the question box, how two people with vulvas would have protected oral sex to prevent herpes. Our otherwise awesome science teacher advised cutting open a condom and spreading it out over the vulva. The next day he amended his advice, presumably having done some research, and informed us of the alternate use of dental dams.
Another day, we had to do this whole involved activity comparing whether it was better to be a girl or a boy that I suspected was prompted by my putting "being a girl sux" in the box. Everyone was required to write something for the question box so we couldn't circumvent the anonymity by watching who put something in. I was just complaining about having cramps.
Also, the teacher's daughter was in my class. All in all, middle school sex ed was an odd experience.
Boner_Patrol_007 ยท 2256 points ยท Posted at 14:02:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad to say I haven't seen my dad's penis.
SeizureLizard ยท 4172 points ยท Posted at 14:46:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, judging by your username, I'd say you're pretty bad at your job then.
screennameoutoforder ยท 602 points ยท Posted at 16:07:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His father has erectile disfunction, so it's out of his jurisdicktion.
Obscu ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:45:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're the unsung hero of this thread
Boner_Patrol_007 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:50:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao. screennameoutoforder nailed the response.
Shumatsuu ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:27:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He had to. That dad isn't nailing anything.
PM_ME_DANK_MEMESS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:30:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ROASTED!!!!!
HollowScope ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jerkindickson
hangout_wangout ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:49:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're telling me.
Controlled01 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:33:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you the guy from the warlizzard forums?
Am I doing this right?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:21:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Close enough, those lizards all look the same.
Konekotoujou ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG, you can't just say all lizards look the same.
ThatBlackGuy_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reptilism is still alive and well people.
iheartanalingus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like Derelict Humans?
Generic-username427 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe this is the one time where OP'S mom isn't getting banged constantly
ChimpZ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boner patrolling starts at home.
-Njala- ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:01:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, especially considering his dad has a boner every time he's around him.
IllBePirateKing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hell is a lizard doing on reddit?
quenishi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:21:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that would depend if his dad is on his route.
ReasonablyBadass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he can't keep order at home, how can we expect him to serve our community?
hardly-workin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His job is waaay too hard.
Shanack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes one slips in the cracks.
caanthedalek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more of a hobby, really
KetzerJefe343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'd only know if his dad had a boner. And since he hasn't...
ForceDisciple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Busted.
Deep-Blue-Sea ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:37:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Finnish person I'm extremely confused right now.
Vedenhenki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise. I cannot fathom the logistics needed to do this... Feels so impractical. Especially since I have seen almost all of my (same-sex) friends and coworkers naked as well...
(From Finland as well).
LeibnizIntegralKeks ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:17:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you live with a family member for eighteen years without even once seeing them naked even on accident? Did you never go to a sauna or a public swimming pool?
jkHansen414 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:57:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have never seen a family member naked either (outside of my infancy, understandably). Never been to a sauna, and I live near a pond that I can swim in should the urge strike me.
Did go to a YMCA pool with the Scouts a few times. Saw some grizzled gentleman genitals on that occasion.
bubongo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:23:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those old man dongs have seen some pussy you can't even imagine.
chalks777 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:42:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are we swimming naked in public swimming pools now?
LeibnizIntegralKeks ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:47:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a changing area and you have to go to the showers before you go into the pools so yes.
MRMiller96 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:22:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen anyone shower naked in public pool showers, and the changing areas are private.
Dmaias ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:13:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Never seen that. Unfortunatly that means that I have seen what age does to a mans body far too many times.
Ghotimonger ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:08:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live? Prudeland?
Otter_Baron ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:43:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, America. Land of the nevernudes.
CStock77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's lots of old man dong to be seen in American locker rooms, I assure you.
Jonnieboychoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Tobiasโก
badgarok725 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you've never been to one that just had locker areas to change in? Or any place with a locker room? That's where most people see their dad's dick
makeyourownlunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I sure have. Was enrolled in a summer program in my youth and there was alllmost always an elderly gentleman naked in the men's changing room. It's like they'd walk around naked as long as possible (brush teeth, comb hair, just sift through their bags) before dressing and heading out. Being young boys we just giggled.
Speedy97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen anyone shower before going into the pool? That doesn't make sense
LeibnizIntegralKeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even imagine the filth swimming in the public pools wherever you live.
Speedy97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You realise pretty much everyone pees in the pool right? You can't really say filth, people shower after they get out the pool not before
LeibnizIntegralKeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People shower before and after.
alexmojo2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His Dad's dead.
Death_Star_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe this is weird to people but I remember around age 5 my dad taking me and my 3 year old brother to shower with him, which he later told us he did it because our mom made him give us baths after the 3 of us would go to the pool. Never felt weird or thought of it as weird though.
Flying_Dutchmann ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 15:25:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is seeing family naked a big deal? Your parents literally made you using their genitals, how many secrets can you possible have for each other
rzpieces ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:51:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The stork brought me, you filthy reprobate
Vanetia ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:14:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not something one likes to think about or be reminded of.
pitchindpp ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:49:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself.
Flying_Dutchmann ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2spook4me
Scout764 ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 14:25:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name checks out.
mynameisblanked ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 14:59:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it doesn't. He didn't even check.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe his dad is a Mr. Softie
Flamammable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His dad can't get boners anymore so no need to check.
truthlesshunter ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:06:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it doesn't check out! he's obviously not patrolling boners
RariCalamari ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name absolutely doesnt check out. Or just the shittiest boner patrol
purplegiraffe_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too.
MemeLordCameron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same
crushcastles23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen my dad's a few years ago. I thought I was big for a non-pornstar, no. Him and Ron Jeremy are in the same weight class.
ShaidarHaran2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither have I. Never got that argument for keeping it the same as daddy.
"Daddy has an amputated hand, sooo..."
Ghotimonger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dad dicks are huge!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He always turns off the lights first?
DotComCTO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:16:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot to finish your sentence. You meant to say, "I'm glad to say I haven't seen my dad's penis since last weekend."
FTFY.
Chastain86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could say I haven't seen your dad's penis, but he keeps ignoring my requests to be removed from the email distribution list.
UnnamedNamesake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're missing out.
FISTED_BY_CHRIST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to lie. Everyone's seen their dad's penis.
MrPete001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, you're one of the lucky ones.
milesdizzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's overrated, definitely not an enjoyable experience
redfoot62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're lucky...the day I saw mine, he was coming out of the shower and his shrinkage...actually makes it go inside itself. It's like seeing one of those balloon animal balloons being sucked INWARD. So for years I thought this was one day going to happen to me. It will freak me out if it ever does.
luckysevs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be glad. Youre ruined forever if you do.
OnlyOneNut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw my dad testicle once.
der_geraet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some one should gift you "shower with your dad simulator"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was like a childhood right of passage to see your dad's dick. My dad was notorious for not only not locking his bathroom door, but also just not even closing it. So naturally there were a few times in my life where my mom asked me to go ask my dad something, I'd go into their room, go into the bathroom, and *BAM*, naked dad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You go to the sauna with your pants on?
galacticboy2009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why this seems weird to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's normal in some cultures.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...really? You never took a bath with your dad as a kid? Never went to the pool? That's kind of sad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You lucky fucker
KurayamiShikaku ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:08:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if you don't know what circumcision is, it seems pretty sensible that it might be hereditary. Like attached, or unattached, earlobes, except it's penises without a foreskin (the circumcized variant penis), and with a foreskin (the uncircumcised variant).
CopyGFX ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:00:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did something similar to this.
The teacher pulled out the first paper and it said
"Do you like Pineapples?"
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Kakarot_faps ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:42:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this idea seems subject to lels like that
anothermonth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's cus it tastes better after
_atomic_garden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are just bad at flirting.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:53:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a little kid I legitimately thought uncircumcised penis' meant you were from Canada
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sadly no
forerunner398 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Storytime?
Docjaded ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:09:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously it's recessive.
BoogieOrBogey ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:34:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't really seem like a stupid question to ask in middle school sex-ed, especially anonymously. I'd rather the kids check what's hereditary than just assume.
anothermonth ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:15:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, probably his mom was not circumcised, so it's 50/50.
Toxicitor ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:25:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory that's not dumb, just ignorant. It's not his fault he doesn't know how weird circumcision is.
ShaidarHaran2 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:46:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's mind boggling is how culturally ingrained it is in some places that you can find people who don't know what an external body part every boy is born with is. That's weird.
hellosexynerds ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:00:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only place it is really still done in the modern world is the US. Very rare to be circumcised in europe, asia or even africa
PseudoArab ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:52:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our winning joke question was:
If during anal the check farts, will it blow back and cause your balls to explode?
Oddly enough, the box was removed for the remainder of the week.
rewdmister4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this in my head in the locker room before PE just gave me the strangest looks from those around me due to my laughing.
PseudoArab ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kid was a solid comedian, and I'm sure he'd appreciate a random stranger laughing this many years after the question was first asked.
follow_your_bliss ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:43:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just think it's so sad to think of this poor boy probably carrying that kind of doubt of if his dad was his biological dad!
szerg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:48:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 13 (way back in the 90s) there were a special sex-ed class in school, and all students had to attend. They had a box for this kind of question, and the teacher read them aloud and answered all of them.
There was a question like "can we get pregnant if we only have anal sex?" and the teacher laughed. Then this girl (who we think made the question) told the teacher "DUDE, DON'T LAUGH, WE SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW!" and the teacher took all the questions seriously after that.
It was akward, but awesome!
Edit: a word
lfantine ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it makes more sense than the fact that we cut baby penises.
pysssky ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:11:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 8th grade sex-ed class, someone jokingly asked if you could have sex while playing Clash of Clans
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:55:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
The-Angel-Of-Death ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just over 4 years old at this point, so could be an 18 year old now
abtseventynine ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:59:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend asked "what happens when you burn a library book," and some other chick thought there was a bone in your dick (ie boner) and asked what happens when you break it
ShouldersofGiants100 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:11:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of animals actually do have bones there. Plus it is possible to break an erect penis. It's just not a bone that does the breaking.
abtseventynine ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wouldn't it be more akin to a ruptured blood vessel?
ShouldersofGiants100 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. I'm unfortunately at work, so I cannot look for links, but cases get posted to Reddit from time to time. It's not a rupture. Since the tissue is solid at the time, it breaks in a way akin to a bone and the break will still be in the tissue when flaccid. I believe the term is Penile fracture if for some strange reason you wanted the details.
SeattleBattles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more like breaking cartlidge. (NSFW)
abtseventynine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have cartilage in my penor tho, do I?
SeattleBattles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but it's more similar to that than it is a blood vessel.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:39:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Seinfeld when Elaine doesnt realize that "it shrinks??"
rufiooooooooooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 8th grade sex ed class I submitted the annonomus question "why did the cafeteria stop serving peach snapple?" To which they had no answer.
kelbelle107 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Year 6 sex ed class had an anonymous questions box. One question asked "Do gay men have high pitched voices because their sperm mixes with another man's sperm?" Threw the question over my shoulder and moved on to the next!
Desmoquattro ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:08:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good on his dad for breaking this cruel cycle of male genital mutilation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was surprised to not find this earlier. There's always one wanting to stoke the fire.
Desmoquattro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok Mrs. Osbourne.
hellosexynerds ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
have a relevant discussion on the topic at hand
Timevdv ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cruel on females, not sure about males. I chose to be circumcised when I was 20. Hygienic รกnd esthetic reasons.
Im-Mr-Bulldops ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:24:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, you chose to. It's different when you're cutting off part of a baby's cock.
Timevdv ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will decide on getting my kid done as well when I have one. I don't see any downsides to it, only benefits.
Im-Mr-Bulldops ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google "botched circumcision."
Why not let him decide for himself?
Desmoquattro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because he knows whats best for someone elses penis.
Desmoquattro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you force any other man to have part of their penis cut off?
Its his penis. You dont own your son.
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that dumb of a question. It's a hell of a lot more reasonable to believe some people are just born with freckles rather than to believe some people are held down and forcibly tattooed with a bunch of little dots as a baby.
Kid was just giving his society the benefit of the doubt here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the 4th grade a classmate of mine submitted the question "What's the circumference of a cunt?" into one of those. I wish I was joking about this.
nicorns_are_real ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What you don't know is that this kid is the great great great grandchild Jean Baptiste Lamarck.
SeattleBattles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most other biological differences are.
I don't think it's dumb to not be aware of a cultural tradition like that. It's not like a piercing or other body modification where you can clearly see that it is artificial.
I imagine the whole thing seems quite odd to people who are not part of cultures who routinely practice it.
Michamus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer is "No, he's still your dad and ended the cycle of genital mutilation with you. You see, circumcision is the needless practice of removing the foreskin from a child's penis. Your father had this done to him and chose not to do it to you, likely against a massive amount of family pressure. You should thank him for not lopping off part of your penis, simply because he couldn't stand up to his family."
arostganomo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He must have thought it was like attached/detached earlobes. If you don't know that circumcision is a medical procedure it's not illogical to come to that conclusion.
schmo006 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy asked the question, "is it OK after getting a bj to ask a girl to brush her teeth before kissing her again?"
The question wasn't read or answered.
cyncount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a question in the box about queefing, I still don't know how the teacher handled it with such grace (and with a straight face). The class of 10 year olds found it hilarious!
Kumanshu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husbands decision to circumcise our unborn son is so that they'll have the same bits...
Socialbutterfinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is that important to him?
Kumanshu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know he claims I wouldn't understand. I tried to fight him on it. Inevitably lost.
Socialbutterfinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pretty intense procedure. I imagined it would just be snipping the top, but they do a lot of bloody slicing. I didn't have it done to my boys, and neither of them screamed when their diapers were changed like my circumcised roomate's baby did. I'm so, so glad I left my baby boys alone. I recommend you watch a video of the procedure if you haven't already... it's a big deal and I don't think "you wouldn't understand" is a good enough reason to make a choice like that for another person. Hope I'm not coming across obnoxious. I have an "intactivist" friend who I think takes it too far even though I technically agree with her and I don't want to do that. But if this was something you wanted to fight for, I think you should keep fighting for it.
Kumanshu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. He gets mad every time I bring it up. Because he's circumcised he thanks it's best. My brother is a doctor and has even advised him against it. He even sent him medical studies and reports advising against it. No matter what, he wants it done. I tried to explain it's unnecessary and a $500 cosmetology procedure. He still doesn't care.
Socialbutterfinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:47 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry you are in such a tough situation... but as much as I'm against it, the reality is your boy will be fine either way.
early_birdy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had the same!
One of the question was: "If a guy only has one testicle, can he only have boys (or girls)".
QueasyDuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends... has ever broken both arms at once?
Mechasteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, a Lamarkian
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like many do as you've thought the last sentence is necessary.
RedditSkippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, good on him for asking the question and getting the right information!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for him for knowing. I didn't even know I was circumcised until I was 16.
King-Days ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
may as well be since all parents like to without giving you a choice
stoicsmile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Lamarck?
loopywolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did that.. the teacher discounted my question "Do you need to be circumcised to have sex?" with the reply, "I'm only taking SERIOUS questions.." it was a serious question, and I got no answer, and since it was anonymous, I couldn't pipe up and protest. System fail.
nuplsstahp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that Lamarckist theory? Lamarck was the dude who disagreed with Darwin's theory of evolution and said that traits were obtained during an animals lifetime, e.g. a giraffe's neck would grow taller in order for it to reach higher branches. Not too long ago people still believed stuff like this.
Spadeykins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A reasonable belief when you consider the alternative.
obarnesmorgan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he prefer the feel of his or his dad's? I imagine his own.
nightmarious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that anonymous box. I asked what suicide meant since my mom wouldn't tell me (I heard it being used in bugs life), and I asked what I meant when my mom said she got her tubes tied. The teacher took me aside after class and told me the meaning of suicide instead of telling everyone in class.
Duckbilling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They made everyone ask a question and put in it in the box, so no one felt awkward for submitting questions.
I asked "can your penis explode?"
epicface3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One kid in my class back in our join 8/9th grade sex ed class submitted the best questions to that box. Here are my 2 personal favorites:
What is the most popular STD?
Is it dangerous to have sex after going on a rollercoaster?
mr_lab_rat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice. You got me a bit worried when you said you had a "box" in your your sex education class.
Jess_than_three ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could be worse. My partner had a friend growing up, whose mother had not believed she (mom, herself) could possibly be pregnant - because her husband wasn't circumcised.
Now imagine what early human mating would have to have been like!
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question if he thinks you're born without a foreskin.
TheAardvarker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, my friends and I put in a bunch of screwy questions just to laugh when the teacher read them. It was fun. That has to be common and I really doubt this was serious.
Naberius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a Lamarckian, then.
2016nsfwaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like he was told his father's penis was circumcised but his wasn't, but not told what circumcision itself is?
inthrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Sex Ed class in private (normal, not affiliated with a church or faith or anything) school was a crazy affair where they brought in a guy we had never seen before who talked to us 7th graders, as well as the 8th graders.
There were no anonymous questions. Raise your hand and ask.
The best question was from CJ, an 8th grader: "What does it mean if it comes out like cottage cheese?" Rob, his best friend, tried so damn hard to not laugh but couldn't hold it in.
I don't remember the answer, but I remember the actual teachers weren't pleased with how we behaved in front of a guest of the school.
AuthorAnonymous95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:41 on February 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on where this was, it may be less a sad commentary on his intelligence and more a sad commentary on the state of sex ed. When I was in eighth grade, the only sex ed we got was actually having sex.
A-noni-mouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(ahem) don't they call it male genital mutilation these days?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:35:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ShaidarHaran2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My ears are normal, they just had their earlobes chopped off like everyone else. Normal!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you understood. I was putting your point in, but MGM is Metro Goldwyn Mayer as well, so I was making a parody
A-noni-mouse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, your irony isn't wasted on me.
KingCrow23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:14:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question is... how does he know that his dad is circumcised?
mildcaseofdeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suspect he may have seen his father's penis, but there's no way to be sure.
ReVaas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ARE WE JUST GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT THE KID SAW HIS DAD'S PENIS AND NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT MAYBE THAT KID HAS BEEN ABUSED?
Desmoquattro ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you stupid shit.
Minrowdiscartis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:13:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Foster Magnet School too?? Lol
thehorrorofspoons ยท 2167 points ยท Posted at 11:59:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But during high school, one of the girls in my history class asked our teacher who had won ww2. We were like 14 and had spent the last three months studying ww2. Bonus points, we told her Germany won and she believed us for a month till we took pity of her and explained that the allies won.
[deleted] ยท 1074 points ยท Posted at 14:58:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We convinced my friend that Germany had almost won the war, then France had come out of nowhere and take over the entire continent, thus causing the Cold War
philthegr81 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:18:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"BAH GAWD, KING, THAT'S FRANCE'S MUSIC!"
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:25:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"THE FATHERLAND HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF!"
IWantToDoThings ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:45:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"NO! NO! GERMANY HAS A FAMILY DAMMIT!"
Ashrey2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:17:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I love Reddit.
malonkey1 ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 15:42:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the French resistance were tough, but not that tough.
SpecificallyGeneral ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:15:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't forget the alpine ski troops - I got a lot of territory in Civ with them.
OnyxMelon ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:06:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The French resistance spent a good proportion of its time fighting itself.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:02:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Undercover branch of the Judean People's Front?
kjata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:24:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was the People's Front of Judea!
Phillip_Roy ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:50:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When Germany got the World Title but France comes running in with the Money In the Bank Contract...
Cappster_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this.
bitcleargas ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:21:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoulda made it Iceland that started the Cold War :')
Horst665 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:08:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, it was their king in the north, who...
bitcleargas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know nothing, Horst665.
MacDerfus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:24:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol' Corsican surprise...
kjata ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:26:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You really think you can conquer France, Boney?"
"'Course I can."
Ulkhak47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucker.
Boosted3232 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because the french gave them the cold shoulder right?
FalconAt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, France did recover from hostile invasion by some Germans and their allies, then go on to conquer most of Europe and have a Lukewarm War with England. It was the Napoleonic Era.
Linearts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is sort of correct if you change France to America.
Core308 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In France kids are/was thought that France was freed by french troops and that the British and Americans (Alies) just played a minor role like bringing "the brave french soldier" his coffee and baguette...
Prae_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:24:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's definitly not the case at the moment, and I have a hard time believing it was ever true. We own the beaches where the Normandy's landings happen. Also, I can't imagine a world where we let english men handle our baguettes.
stevoblunt83 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah thi's never happened.
2059FF ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:36:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're American, what you're doing is projecting. I know many Americans who know nothing at all about the Eastern front (it's only the largest military confrontation in history) and believe Hitler was single-handedly defeated by American troops.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, go check out "Soviet Storm" on Netflix. It's a thirty-part documentary on the Eastern Front of WWII. 1600-mile-long meat grinder=cool tv
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:47 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda fucked because we give france a lot of credit for how much they helped us out in the beginning.
starm4nn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, in the US, the Education System makes it seem like World War II was America fighting Germany and Japan by itself.
SpeakMouthWords ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why we call thoughts that seemingly come from nowhere 'Froidian'
Sam-Gunn ยท 821 points ยท Posted at 14:55:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And this is why we now speak German and praise Hitler during the start of each school day."
my_name_is_the_DUDE ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also why it's tradition to eat oven baked ham every saturday.
yech ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:44:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Noooooo...
LegendOfPublo ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:16:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heil*
leap89 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:05:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That also explains why so many people celebrate 4/20.
errectnipples ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:31:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
California uber alles
Sam-Gunn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am governor Jerry Brown
patrickwithtraffic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:41:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I wonder how the Dead Kennedys would rewrite that song given the current political climate. At least that one line wouldn't need to be altered.
Sam-Gunn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:16:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, Jerry Brown is actually a voice of sanity now...
Honestly, half their songs if not more are still applicable even if the references are outdated, the sentiment is not.
I still vigorously sing NOFX's Murder The Government, I just add in Trump, and Pence, and Hillary, and Spicer instead of Cheny and Bush!
peaceshark ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:32:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She shouldn't be late to school.
Radioactive24 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:38:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah, Man in the High Tower is just alternate history, duh.
missdanz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:51:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Castle
Cappster_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:41:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Castle is set in a Hitler-ruled alternate universe? This changes everything ...
AyyyMycroft ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That Browncoat roleplay just got a lot darker...
fafafefefofo0 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:30:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait.. you don't do that?
chairswinger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:27:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean except for the Hitler part we still do this in school, you have failed us, americans!
grocerybaginthewind ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Americans aren't typically smart enough to learn another language but we aren't too far away from doing the latter.
derleth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:36 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More edge than bismuth.
(Look it up, child.)
grocerybaginthewind ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:55:15 on July 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Look at when my comment was posted, child.)
derleth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:02 on July 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quiet, child. You've embarrassed yourself enough already.
grocerybaginthewind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:24 on July 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be new to Reddit. People don't typically scroll through months-old posts and reply to comments as if they were made yesterday.
The only embarrassing thing for me is I'm wasting time replying to you. If you wanted to reply to my comment months after it was posted you probably shouldn't have started out by acting like a condescending cunt. Not sure what you were expecting. Bye retard.
derleth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:21 on July 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck are you on about? Why are you replying to an old post?
Jesus, get a life.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:15:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BTW, Good job on electing the next best thing
canIchangethis_ ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:02:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's not really the next best thing. More like a shitty orange knockoff.
spaghett1Thunderbolt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:18:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"LOL, Trump is Hitler! I'm so original!" -/u/sanovine
yech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhhhhh....
FrisianDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... I mean
LeftyDan ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:00:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you tell her that's why we're all speaking German right now?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ja.
ThanatosX23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Natรผrlich
thehorrorofspoons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:11 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha we actually did :)
wingwingwehavadinner ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:33:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You probably have already heard of it, but you should check out "The man in the High Castle" (book and amazon prime TV series) - it's about the post WW2 world where the axis powers won. super interesting.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wingwingwehavadinner ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:00:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
idk that it necessarily got any better, but the universe the show is set in got way bigger, so that was interesting? but yeah i had a hard time remembering what happened in season 1 haha
nobodytrickedme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just finished streaming season 2 on Amazon. Wondering when I'll get to see season 3. As a history geek the "what if" about one of my favorite time periods is fascinating.
wingwingwehavadinner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:02 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
completely agree. i work in NY so the sight of Nazi Manhattan is so haunting...
ThePu55yDestr0yr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:42:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of my dumb moments from high school.
The teacher once asked the class how the American colonists won the revolution, and I enthusiastically raised my hand and said "bullets."
The class started laughing like crazy, I'm guessing because the teacher was rather stern, so people thought I was mocking him with a blatantly wrong answer?
Julgrava ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:13:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar in my medieval English history class in college. We were going over this particular king's (Cnut, pronounced Ca-Noot) accomplishments, pretty much a huge list from the Anglo Saxon chronical, and she asked what happened next. It was the end of his life. So I raised my hand, she made the mistake of calling on me and I said "He died."
The class and professor had a good laugh.
NukaSwillingPrick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's part of the answer, lol.
titsax ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:01:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our class met with a holocaust survivor and this one dumb shit asked him "did you get to keep your striped pajamas??"
ElagabalusRex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:27:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, the funny subsitute teacher came to our history class and a girl asked him what we would be learning today (after our last class was about the Gilded Age or something). He replied "World War IV".
The student's response of "...really?" was a little amusing and disconcerting.
lapishelper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:22:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you should have told her that aliens won.
JMW007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, I recall someone in my high school history class, two days before the final exam on WWII, flicking through the textbook and suddenly blurting out that she always thought Hitler's moustache was smaller than that. When the teacher took a look, she sighed, and said "That's Neville Chamberlain, dear."
adraria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read "allies" as "aliens"
Alsothorium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That exact same thing happened with a girl at my school when we were doing coursework on it. Pen written. She tore up her work. Poor girl. Her family was/is super rich though, so she had that going for her.
tonyray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we were reading Killer Angels and studying the Civil War for a month or two. I am not embellishing at all when I say that we were done with the book and the war and a couple people in the class all of a sudden became self aware and had to ask who the Union and the Confederacy were.
NotAHeroButLeander ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you go to school with me? A girl in my class thought that colour was invented just after WWII. Apparently before that the world was in black and white, which is why all the old newsreels we watched were too.
She also thought that Africa was a planet and confused the rush to colonise it through the 1700s - 1900s with the start of the space race.
badgarok725 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least she wasn't the girl in my class that seriously asked if WWI was when Jesus was alive.
hadriano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am from Poland and at the school I was told that Poland won the war. More as an adult I do not think so anymore.
ForHoiPolloi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as the aliens won and I was far more excited.
standbyyourmantis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the 8th grade a couple of my friends hung out at the back entrance to the school and told the fifth graders coming in we had a new exchange student from Russia today whose name was Joseph Stalin. Apparently, my brother was the only one who didn't believe them.
I had to get some things copied that day for a club and heard some teachers talking about it, so I admitted which class they were in. The civics teacher then made a point of asking that whole class to please not tease the younger children because they were very confused.
warpus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I convinced a bunch of British urologists on a conference in Chile that the Germans used to shrink heads. (We were in a museum which was showing off shrunken heads that some of the native tribes in the area used to.. .. do.. and so I jumped in and said "The Germans used to do this too" and everyone just assumed it was the truth)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was recently in Poland with my 24-year-old friend. We'd been to plenty of WW2 memorial sites and museums at this point. She asked me a history question and I said, "Well, after the Germans lost-" and she suddenly shouted, "Oh! The Germans lost??" in complete shock.
She didn't understand why me and my other friend were laughing at her.
mordorimzrobimy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you like it in Poland?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved it! It's a very beautiful country.
mordorimzrobimy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:38 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! I'm polish and I always love it when somebody complements my country, especially with what is recently going on here.
rocked_licker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the Air Force with a guy that "didn't like the south park movie because they made the black People fight first in the war against Canada" so we convinced him that is based on what happened when we had the war with Canada. We also convinced him to go to GNC and ask for tape worms if he really wanted to lose weight.
ButtsexEurope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she was confused by The Man in the High Castle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Komisch. Dummer Amerikaner denkt, wir verloren! Das macht mich zum Lachen!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little thing called Google Translate.
logicforlogic21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did we go to the same high school?
thehorrorofspoons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:04 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you from new Zealand??
logicforlogic21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:26 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, New York. Guess the question is more common then I would hope lol.
Draconis117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And now it's... SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER AND GERMANY!"
turn_king ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor girl, she lived in a better world for a month, then had it all ripped away.
arbivark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
japan attained most of its diplomatic objectives, even if they didnt do so well militarily.
Zaxian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid question.... or very smart.
If she meant to phrase it as comparing each country before and after the war...
France was on the "victor's" side, but after the war millions of French were dead, the economy was worse off, there was huge amounts of property damage, etc., so it could be argued that they "lost".
The US economy grew, relations were strengthened, etc. so the US definitely "Won".
A country like Canada would be in the middle.
thehorrorofspoons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:36 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...That's assuming that she would understand any of that
DrBurn777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I miss read allies as aliens and really that would have made my day.
solid_gold_dancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They won when the bombed Pearl Harbor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is your duty as an educator to intentionally feed these people false information.
HumanTheTree ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:15:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do Nazi why you did that.
Flying__Penguin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:23:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so the teacher went along with it too? That just seems unprofessional.
thehorrorofspoons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:46 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That teacher routinely perved on his teenage students, kept moving me away from my friends because he felt like it even though I was the only person passing and was doing a better job of teacher his subject then he was, and got into a screaming match with 14year old me in from of like 200 students because I wouldn't give him my jacket. He was also convinced that tomorrow was spelt to-morrow... This was only the tip of his unprofessionalism
batty3108 ยท 755 points ยท Posted at 14:53:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't want to sit next to the radiator. Won't I get radiation sickness?"
ThePrussianGrippe ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 16:31:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if the radiator is unnaturally hot I suppose you could become very overheated.
But that's not the radiation they're thinking of.
batty3108 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:57:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. No it wasn't.
KingsfullOfTwos ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:33:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, depending on the age of the person asking, I'd be very impressed with that train of thought and how he or she came to that conclusion.
swabianne ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:44:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in Chernobyl
pelican_caste ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:34:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find this strangely adorable.
666666t ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:04:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
depends. is it the 1930's, and you're drinking radium water 5 feet from the radiator? then yes. probably.
darwin2500 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:56:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the answer is 'no, the type of radiation it produces is not harmful to humans at the dosage it produces.'
MentalPorphyry ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:20:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This literally just happened last week at the university where my husband works. One of the older buildings had a radiator leak in one of the classrooms, so a physics class was cancelled that day. One of the college kids texted his parents about the issue, and his mom got so concerned when he said his class was cancelled due to a "radiation leak" that she called the cops here in our town, and they sent out a response team to deal with the leak.
turkeyjerkey23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
makes sense to me. smart kid.
Redditor_From_Italy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:15:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how this guy was smart enough to know about radiation sickness but didn't figure out that radiators aren't nuclear reactors
X-istenz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:07:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he's lucky, the lesson he takes out of this is "not all radiation is dangerous". More likely, it was "they should really change the name of radiators".
rabbit_redux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could upvote this more than once!
666666t ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
depends. is it the 1930's, and you're drinking radium water 5 feet from the radiator? then yes. probably.
Butch-flowers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy plays Fallout
jordanthinkz ยท 1137 points ยท Posted at 13:57:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl back in my grade 9 science class once asked "what happens to the egg in the moms stomach when the baby hatches" we were covering sexual reproduction and the reproductive cycle. And in Quebec sex-ed is taught in elementary school (most of them)
thatswhatshesaidxx ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 15:44:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught my ex what a clitoris is, that she had one and its (as I understand it) function.
This is a full grown woman in her mid twenties with a child.
reagan-nomics ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 16:22:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. Oh my. Sometimes it's just too late.
thatswhatshesaidxx ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 16:44:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Downside: she didn't know what a clitoris is
Upside: I got to be the first man to show her (:
reagan-nomics ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:52:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very good point.
samfi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A point of pleasure even.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FF3LockeZ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:08:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the mental level of a kevin? low bar
Iksuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure she seriously appreciates that.
ballinonthedaily ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:54:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quebec sex ed classes vary by school sometimes. My brother received a way better program than I did; my class covered contraception and condoms in sec one, his had a whole lecture on consent and about how gay people have sex.
aaronsweber ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 16:54:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Contraception in my school consisted of the field hockey coach teaching us basic anatomy and saying "I wish I could tell you about birth control but I'd get fired."
epikkitteh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well at least he's honest. :/
Chaos_Therum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:01 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he put the thought in your mind so you could look it up later. Or ask your parents.
theendisnear_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:17:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya I only got the whole consent thing in sec 3, but with today's internet kids normally know about all that stuff much earlier than before
NeglectedShadow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I second this. I didn't get a sex Ed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is good. our teacher said gay people used any orifice for sex. I tried imagining ear and nose sex, but thought it was pretty horrific.
Salvidrim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell I remember learning how to put on a condom using a broomstick when I was 12 in sec.1 -- which is was embarrassing as fuck but absolutely the best moment and place to learn. This was before Education and Culture Religieuse, back when it was style FPS/Morale
Poketto43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya we learned in sec 1 to use contraception like what it does, then in sec 3 in science we learned how to put a condom and the different type of contraception
fcbRNkat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had the basics of sex-ed in elementary and I remember learning the process of conception for the first time (1995 and I had no siblings, gimme a break) and it was like a total mindblowing realization which I very quickly told all of my younger neighbors and was asked to leave their house
ShouldersofGiants100 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:36:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... The phrasing is clearly bad, but I can see where it comes from. Namely that we use the same word for both eggs that hatch (like the ones laid by chickens) and the ones that human women have. My Ontario sex ed in elementary school was almost all "What happens during puberty". I can absolutely see the fact women have eggs coming up during a puberty discussion without anyone talking about how you get from egg to baby.
Hates_escalators ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:47:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You carry the egg around for a while in one of those dvd case things, and then after about 5000 steps, it hatches into a Lvl. 5 Baby.
BlayAndHowlie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was in the past. In this generation, they hatch into a Lvl. 1 baby.
Hates_escalators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What gen is it by now? 7?
BlayAndHowlie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah
mortiphago ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:02:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well the egg is digested along the rest of the breakfast, for one
VanFailin ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 15:48:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if you teach them sex ed in elementary school then they'll all want to have babies! You should teach it to them much later, after it's too late.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:14:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Montreal I have no clue where you're being taught sex Ed in elementary I was taught in grade 9-10....
purplenelly ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:49:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I didn't have sex ed in elementary school, however a nurse came to warn us about puberty once.
plop0 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol
digital_dysthymia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's an age difference? Or Catholic vs. Protestant?
purplenelly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably an age difference. I think once they got rid of the religion classes it made more space for other kind of classes.
jordanthinkz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm might vary by school board, Pretty sure all lbpsb schools had it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've only gone to schools under the EMSB so probably
goodhumansbad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Roslyn in the 90s (EMSB school) and we got sex ed in grade 5 complete with labeled graphs of male & female genitals (i.e. very detailed, not 'when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much' type stuff).
Poketto43 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:08:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on the region, in Montreal 99% actually go to high school, so they don't have to rush it. Whereas in other regions some kids just do elementary and go help their family or something
Darkmetroidz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, elementary??? As in, grade 1-4?
theendisnear_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:15:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grades 1-6 here in QC, although they start around grade 4-5
HubbaMaBubba ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:30:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the same as in Ontario.
s629c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same in US also. Started around grade 4
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:02 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm in Florida it was around grade 4 we covered it. Honestly it was a pretty decent class they didn't start teaching us to be ashamed of sex until 7th.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:56:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on area of Canada "middle school" and "junior high" may or may not exist.
So you end up with a few very large elementary schools (Kindergarten- grade 8) then fewer even larger highschools (9-12).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. In Quebec, it's Elementary 1 to 6 and Secondary 1 to 5 (or I guess 7 to 11). Some school split Sec 1-2 from Sec 3-4-5, but it's mostly because of the size of the building and the available room, rather than a distinct entity.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and then Ontario is a shitshow depending on school boards and Geography.
Every possible term for the different school divisions that you can think of (American and Canadian terms) are used at random. -.-
Hell sometimes they even overlap if one school gets renovated or another becomes overflown.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't speak for the Quebecois, but in Ontario, Elemantary is JK to 8 and Secondary is 9-12
Poketto43 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well in quebec we also have this thing called "cegep" so we have elementary school from grade 1-6 then highschool for 5 years, then cegep for 2-3 years depending on what u take and then university
valryuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Ontario, Gr. 7-8 (and sometimes 6) is considered Middle School.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in the area near Toronto
Rand0m_Viking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checking in from Toronto, it's middle school here too.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's just Simcoe County then. I've never lived in Toronto, but I have relatives.
flyingwind66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a room mate that didn't know what the "clitoral hood" was ... she's in her early 20s and was sexually active ... I had to get a diagram for her. Knowing her childhood being between 2 countries, I could see that she missed a lot of mandatory sex ed.
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:05 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow good roommate to bother teaching someone that in depth to get a diagram and everything.
Sharmansbabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only ever had sex-ed once and it was when I was 9. Im from Quรฉbec
cynical_euphemism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Quebecois are hatched
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you went to English school? Because that confusion wouldn't happen in French.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think babies harched from human eggs too. The difference is, I wasnt in the 9th grade. I was 9 years old.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Humans aren't ovoviviparous.
derleth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:01 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Utterly amazing. And most here have no conception why.
itsFrankenSHTEIN ยท 1321 points ยท Posted at 14:54:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in a my freshman college class, one student asked our professor, "you know how it says all men are created equal? Well that's not true, because like I'm good at hockey but some people aren't, and some people are good singers - so that's wrong, isn't it?"
She didn't know how to answer that one (because she was stunned into silence).
Edited: a couple words at the end because of confusion.
Astilaroth ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 15:26:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Equal, but not the same."
truthinlies ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:06:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Segregationist!!!
canIchangethis_ ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:10:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All men are Equal, but some are more equal than others.
christo334 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:15:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald j. Trump
Hero_matt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:11:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same same! But different!
christo334 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:15:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But still same!
WorkFlow_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except hockey is better than singing. You can explain that away jack!
BlenderIsBloated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Equivalent, not equal.
Baneken ยท 312 points ยท Posted at 15:56:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer is of c. "yes but some of us are more equal then others"
Young_L0rd ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 16:58:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Animal farm?
linuk ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:17:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i believe so
Young_L0rd ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 17:28:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking pigs. Holy fuck i also just came to the realization that the fact that they were pigs was a not so subtle burn.
Rahkdhwtu3 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:50:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whole book was not so subtle if you ever go back and reread it.
TOASTEngineer ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 19:24:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many rereads do you think it'll take before he realizes it's about Communism?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TOASTEngineer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think you would know about the USSR by that age.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:47 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DANG my fingers have gotten fat.
Young_L0rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:55 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck? How can animals be political.
Mystery--Man ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:42:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't read that in a long time but I'm pretty sure the pigs were the 'ruling elite' not the law enforcers that some people call 'pigs'.
Young_L0rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:03 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I meant pigs cuz they were greedy
Mystery--Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:58 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes of course. My apologies.
Young_L0rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:15 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All good. Semantics can be a bitch.
sashawp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:46 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
sashawp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:56 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if I wasn't on mobile I'd write a whole essay on it. Fucking love that book.
Young_L0rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:06 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol me too. Boxer was the saddest an animal ever made me
MY-SECRET-REDDIT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i always thought that meant: more common. did the author meant as in the pigs meant it as they where better than the other animals?
Baneken ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:32:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not so subtle stab on Russian revolution that started as "all workers unite, all are equal" and pretty much had forgotten everything except rhetoric by 1944 when the book came out.
MY-SECRET-REDDIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i get that but did they mean it as : some are more equal like some are more common or as in some are better.
to me: more equal = common not better. though i saw the film, not read the book.
Baneken ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:06:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It means that even if by law and really meaning it that all people are equal there must always be leaders in charge and by definition leaders must always have more power and means then subordinates.
So in other words phrase "were all equals but some of are more equal then others" is more of less BS because the human nature is not compatible of such an equality; the masses always require someone to take lead, someone who is in charge.
In context of Communism it means that soviet et al. leaders had all the luxuries and wealth while the people were still living in poverty and kept in line with almost exact phrases like the famous one used in the book and with a public trust on the state ie. the pigs in power.
MY-SECRET-REDDIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks!
MrFrans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
QuagganBorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a holiday in Russia my tour guide used that phrase unironically. Pretty weird stuff
OPs_other_username ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
ObamaSnowball.Stealthy_Totoro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
purduephotog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh. Going into politics are you?
kn33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah.
"We're all created equal. Doesn't mean we stay equal throughout life."
DronePirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom been telling stories about me
Taffy23110 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:03:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, equal in the eyes of the law maybe?
s629c ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 17:50:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Equal as in equal in rights. Everyone is a human being who has the same rights as the next person
Taffy23110 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:53:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh fine. I didnt mean to infer that rights are given by a goverment by force of law instead of inalienable from a creator.
s629c ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:59:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never said you were wrong. It also translates to equal in the law also
VannaTLC ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:02:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except.. that's exactly the case. 'Rights' are granted by government, enforced through state force.
Taffy23110 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:16:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Practically, yes. In the context of the declaration, it was an argument that the rights we have are inherent to ourselves, granted to us at the time of our creation, rights we cannot discharge. If they are inhernet to us, it is outside the scope of the governemt to take away those rights as they werent granted by the government in the first place. hell of an argument for breaking away from a monarch.
dragn99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're, like, really good at swimming.
tungwakou ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:21:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You know, they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe, and you can see that statement is not true!"
japflack ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:25:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College freshman... Dang.
telperiontree ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 16:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more concerned with the professor being stymied by this than the 18 year old being clueless.
itsFrankenSHTEIN ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 16:53:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was more like she was stunned that a college level student was asking her this question like he'd just cracked the DaVinci code
telperiontree ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:06:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe rewrite that ending sentence, then? 'She didn't know how to answer that one' reads like she explicitly didn't know the answer to the question, not that his stupidity stunned her into speechlessness.
doctorocelot ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:17:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher here. Sometimes the questions like that are the hardest to answer, because to ask a question like that you must have missed a whole bunch of foundations somewhere. So to answer the question effectively you have to identify which foundation is missing first. Which is a whole process of its own.
For example, which is the harder question to answer. "why is the sky blue?" or "if the sky is blue, how come everything I look at isn't blue?".
topkek1111 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:34:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, the answer is the same to both questions - Just tell the truth.
Hint: The sky isn't blue. It's purple! Because...SCIENCE! (and wavelengths).
doctorocelot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That really doesn't answer the question.
topkek1111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simplification for a simple audience. Also a joke that whooshed.
Color is made from light that bounces into our eyes. And light is made up of tiny waves. Different colors of light are made up of different sizes of waves. The bigger waves (red, orange), the medium waves (yellow, green), the small waves (blue and purple). When all these waves of light hit the sky, they break apart - the smaller the wave, the more they break - and the more they break the more tiny pieces of them you see. Since blue is small, it breaks up a lot and covers the sky. Since the purple wave is even smaller than blue, it breaks up even more! But the human eye isn't good at seeing things too small, so we only see blue.
These light waves also go into things. Some things absorb big waves better. Some things absorb small waves better. When waves are not absorbed, they bounce off the thing into your eyes. This changes the color of the thing!
TA-DA! Same explanation to the 5 year old and the physicist. Just a difference in appropriate terminology and calculations.
doctorocelot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you didn't understand what I said.
Of course you tell the truth that's a given. But how I would explain why the sky is blue to a phD physicist is different to how I would explain it to a 6 year old.
I was saying that if a kid who should be further along with their development asks a weird question its probably because they have some fundamental misunderstanding somewhere and the main thing you want to do as a teacher is tease out and address that misunderstanding before answering the question they asked. The reason being that until you fix the misunderstanding you are more likely to confuse the matter further.
topkek1111 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:19:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly, you misunderstood the point I made. I'll try to elaborate for you, I guess.
The difference between ELI5 and IAmAParticlePhysicist is in language and degrees of simplification. To appropriately build an educational foundation - since that was your argument - the content doesn't - and shouldn't - really change. Truth doesn't change - only the presentation of it; the depth of content is aligned with the maturity of the audience.
mathers101 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:51:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think OP means that the professor thought it was so stupid that they didn't even know what to say. Could be wrong though
Gingevere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds less clueless and more like someone being an edgelord.
The kind of person who would make a facebook post about a theoretical fight which contains the phrase "*teleports behind you*"
m50d ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 16:39:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question, it's a very smart one.
2Wrongs ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 17:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Especially since it leads to pretty fundamental questions about law and justice. And you hear people trot the partial quote out with no context. Great teachable moment.
TheNinthDM ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 16:51:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely not the smartest. It's equal under the law, not literally everyone is the same, lol
TheAllRightGatsby ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:54:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, this doesn't strike me as a stupid question. I mean, it's kind of an ongoing political debate; how do we resolve the tension between a desire for sociopolitical equality and the reality of a socioeconomic meritocracy? People don't have to demonstrate any level of education or engagement to vote; is that fair? Welfare provides for some people who don't have high skill jobs; is that fair? If you're good at hockey and some other people aren't, "Why do people who aren't the same as me have the same rights as me?" is arguably the central message behind every news story of the past few months.
TheNinthDM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The equality is legal. The idea is that everyone has the same legal rights as everyone else, no matter who your parents were. Beyond that, in the context it was written, the statement doesn't tell you anything. We are created equal, and are always viewed equally under the law (or supposed to be, anyways), but we can become more wealthy or powerful or whatever by what we achieve.
In other words, the statement as written in the Declaration of Independence has nothing to do with merit, only equality under the law.
TheAllRightGatsby ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:35:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand what you're saying, but first of all even if you're right that's a subtle enough distinction that it's not a stupid question. Like another commenter said, the point that we don't assume equality, we enact it isn't patently obvious. And second of all even in the context of legal rights varying based on merit that tension exists. If we take the student's larger point to mean that, "You say people are equal but clearly they aren't the same, so what does equality mean, why are we comfortable with saying that, and how do we apply it in practice?" (which even if all of those meanings weren't that intentional the teacher should have explained to him and that would have explained his underlying doubts) then there are lots of places where you can see examples of people being different but equal affecting their legal rights. I mean, not to put too fine a point on it but "separate but equal" was a thing for a reason, and I'm sure a lot of segregation-era white people thought about black people in much the same way the student is outlining.
flyinpanda ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:59:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even under that view, it's not a stupid question. Equal with the same legal rights isn't clear either and it depends on what your definition of what a "right" is. Is the right to education the right to get a free education or the right for the opportunity to pay for the education? If I can't afford college, does that really mean I have the "right" to go to college?
EmeraldFlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God did you want eight hundred comments
ashesarise ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:13:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It definitely goes further than just law. Its a seriously controversial philosophical debate that won't end any time soon.
b561248 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 17:12:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. It can hardly be "self-evident" that all men are equal under the law. We don't discover evidence for legal equality - we simply enact it. Jeremy Bentham - undoubtedly one of the most important legal theorists of his time and certainly not stupid - mocked the declaration of independence on these very grounds, among many other things:
TheNinthDM ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:39:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That argument seems kind of strange to me...the statement is all men are created equal, it says nothing of their power later in life, as a "parent or magistrate." The implication is that ideally all men should begin with equal opportunity under the law, but that doesn't mean some might have more power than others later.
The statement "all men are created equal" doesn't mean that no men should ever have power over others, but that all should have equal opportunity to create power and opportunity for themselves. It seems to me that Bentham didn't understand it that way, which isn't surprising considering the time in which he lived.
b561248 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:32:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's certainly open to interpretation - but I think that's the point. Equality is one of those things we all agree on, but none of us knows just what it entails. So I wouldn't call the student's question stupid.
EDIT: that said, I don't mean to write off your reaction either. The student's question shows quite a bit of ignorance about how we understand equality today. Still, it's exactly the sort of question you want to get as a teacher.
TOASTEngineer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:24:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, instead of "self-evident" they really should have said "based on the assertion that all men etc..."
Mechasteel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you think that all men are equal under the law, you must be living in a cave.
pizzanotsinkships ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:15:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could be a rhetorical question, you never know. Witty comment if you ask me.
mouse_attack ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:25:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a witty comment. It's an actual philosophical point of view used to support beliefs of genetic and racial supremacy. It should have been thoroughly and critically addressed by the professor.
Choirbean ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a point of view... that can be used to support... [viewpoint I disagree with strongly and hold in distaste.]
I'm not even suggesting that you're wrong about what the professor should have done, but the reasoning here is a direct statement of the logical fallacy Proving Too Much. The philosophical point must be discussed on its own merits, and those other points would later be given the same treatment.
entenkin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:18:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Declaration of Independence is not a law, though.
telperiontree ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:43:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well. Created equal, so no baby is better than another. It's not about sameness, it's about value.
phuntism ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:02:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid for a college kid.
m50d ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess. There's a lot of "everyone is equal" propaganda while you're growing up though.
WhiteYogaPants ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:38:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not propaganda though
satyricalsmirk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it touches on the subject of equality or equity.
KrishanuAR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why teachers discourage people labeling things as "stupid questions." In this case, OP is too stupid to recognize this as an intelligent question.
Randomnerd29 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:47:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/im14andthisisdeep
Entotrte ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:41:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know they say that all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another wrestler, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down. See the 3 way, at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me and he's not even gonna try!
So Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. Seรฑor Joe, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice.
metalmaori ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always took this in the literal sense; we all come out of a woman naked and (usually) screaming. We are all created by eggs and sperms. Nothing says we all remain equal forever, just that we all start that way.
frank_mania ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the question reflects an all-too-common misconception. The reason this misconception is common is that the concepts describing just how and why people are referred to as 'born equal' in the Declaration of Independence are not widely taught in schools today. The very notion that some people--called royalty back then--were born inherently higher, of a different order on the social status hierarchy, is almost lost to history today. In fact, the very notion of social hierarchy--deeply ingrained in British and European cultures until the last century--is hard to describe to young folks today. "Mind your station" or the notion of "your betters" are archaic, however central to the lives of scores of generations it was, however recently it was discarded.
But really, discussion of social hierarchy is needed in the States today, more than ever, IMO, for people to understand the problems we have with race.
Sorry for getting all wordy and preachy and hi-falutin'. Coffee must have kicked in.
CruzaComplex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point is that people are "created" equally, meaning either god or science starts from the same proverbial square one. It's a statement that means people determine their own destiny, or are meant to be given the opportunity to do so.
A more literal statement would be "Opportunity should not pick favorites."
throwaway8970239sd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess who said it? https://twitter.com/deborahsolo/status/821048406550441984?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
jrpdixon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hockey. Canada?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jrpdixon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anything north of Plattsburgh is technically Canadian imo
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jrpdixon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh, my Navy buddy was just there. In Norfolk now. Small world.
thesuper88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being a pendant has its drawbacks.
BuddyUpInATree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Dads answer for that was always that men werent equal until Samuel Colt made us all equal
cjandstuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future politician right there!
kneeonbelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your college professor wasn't able to explain why all men are created equal? At all?
metalmaori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always took this in the literal sense; we all come out of a woman naked and (usually) screaming. We are all created by eggs and sperms. Nothing says we all remain equal forever, just that we all start that way.
Sunfried ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time for the class to read Harrison Bergeron.
featheredfelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised she couldn't answer that, the answer is, 'equal' doesn't mean everyone can do the same things...it means that all people are considered of equal worth regardless of their individual talents or shortcomings, and that all people are viewed equal under the law.
DarrelleRevis24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The simple answer is, how can you weight traits and skills from an unbiased eye if we're all humans? What is the objective value of being able to sing or being apt in carpentry? The answer is we are all equal from an unbiased eye, whether that be the law, god or anything else in context of the statement.
Rephaite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of class/professor?
zenophobicgoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rights vs. abilities, yo
Lentil-Soup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easy. 2 + 4 is equal to 3 * 2, but they are not the same.
Valkyrie_of_Loki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question; that's questioning a stupid saying.
The_New_York_Jets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Equal under the law is not the same as equivalent in skill. You might be smarter, kinder, more athletic, and prettier than I am. I might be a musical savant while you're tone-deaf. You might be a woman. I might be a man. You might be white. I might be a black Chinese Cuban who grew up in Mumbai. You might be Jewish. I might be Catholic.
The point is that under the law none of that matters. We all should get treated the same. We all should abide by the same laws, the same regulations, the same freedoms, etc.
ObamaBiden2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That student's name?
Adolf Hitler
nubsuo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd answer it like one of my hockey coaches: you'll all get fair ice time, not equal ice time. Everyone's created equally, but not fairly.
wlfman200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since the phrase is "all men are CREATED equal", the obvious answer to this is that all people were of equal skill level in hockey and singing at birth.
Ganaraska-Rivers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's truly astonishing the number of people who don't know that is from the Constitution and means equal under the law.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:48 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
from the Declaration of Independence.
dreinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fantastic question that can lead to great discussion on capabilities theory - take a look at Martha Nussbaum's commentary on John Rawls. Er actually just read the cliff notes - that woman's writing is sooo dense.
Lying_Bob_the_liar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Equal in their humanity. Would you claim that being a better singer makes you more human? Or that being better at hockey makes you less human?
Lying_Bob_the_liar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Equal in their humanity. Would you claim that being a better singer makes you more human? Or that being better at hockey makes you less human?
fierce_jellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a naive, but is actually a good question from a philosophical standpoint.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's a good philosophical question and a good way to get into the difference between equality and equity, equality vs opportunity, etc. Since he plays sports, he's used to "equals" meaning "rivals."
Now that stupid kid is grown up and thinks he stumped his teacher by pointing out a hole in "all men are created equal" and has gone on to be an anarcho-capitalist.
zazazayou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if everyone is equal, then shouldnt we all look and talk the same too? and be standing in the same spot at the same time?
animal_COOKIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got her.
turn_king ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's not going to be a feminist when she grows up. She has logic.
pagnoodle ยท 834 points ยท Posted at 15:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is one of my favorites. I had one of my choir students sitting there studying her hands for about 10 minutes. She wasn't really singing, just quizzically looking at both sides of her hands. So I finally asked what was so interesting about her hands. Her response... "Well, I was wondering. Are gloves like underwear for your hands."
"No. no they are not."
Later that year she was also surprised to learn that helicopters were started inside the cabin of the helicopter and not by gigantic rip cords pulled by a bunch if people.
Edit: I showed her that underwear for your hands already exists. Her mind was blown. http://www.handerpants.com
The helicopter comment was just a real lack of understanding. I had made some reference about how the music needs to move in the way a helicopter starts, very slowly getting faster and louder until it takes off into a new idea. She commented how she thought they just started with a big ripcord.
skelekey ยท 396 points ยท Posted at 16:08:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure she wasn't high?
PrescriptionCocaine ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 16:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah shes on some good shit
MedicinalSCIENCE ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:02:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take it from /u/PrescriptionCocaine i think he knows what he is talking about
PrescriptionCocaine ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:33:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take it from /u/medicinalSCIENCE to take it from me i think he knows what hes talking about
Dreamcast3 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:38:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take it from /u/PrescriptionCocaine I'm pretty sure-
wait
doctorocelot ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:08:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if she's trying to start her helicopter with a rip cord she's not.
b1ak3 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:17:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:16:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Jayden Smith in disguise?
RabidSeason ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a music class.
JInxIt ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:15:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wait wait wait, hear her out for a second. Now, what if the gloves were fingerless. Would they be hand underwear then?
Gremlin87 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 16:38:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you put mittens over them then absolutely, it would be hard to dispute.
JInxIt ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:14:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You, I like you.
jontss ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:35:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glove liners or "undergloves" are totally a thing. I use them all the time on my motorcycle. Made out of some kind of imitation silk, just like my underwear.
KillerEggplant ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:17:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like this?
JInxIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heheeee
skelekey ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So would regular gloves be like...hand spanx?
JInxIt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They have all hand pants varieties. Like leather for with you want them to feel fierce or mittens, sweatpants for the hands.
User4780 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:31:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any known basis for her idea of the giant ripcord scenario? And honestly, that would be awesome.
missenginerd ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:30:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you remember those kids toys from the 90s that were (OK now I'm realizing this might have been only a girl thing...) like fairies or something whose arms/wings were actually propellors kinda and the body had a central axle. You pulled a ripcord and it spun and would "fly" up into the air. When my dad pulled it, it would go flying waaay high. I could see that being what she was thinking
TheRealBrosplosion ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:42:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They also had dragons for boys!
Source: Almost lost my eyes on many occasions to spinning foam/plastic blades
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember those! My sister had one of those! We used to tie things up on our ceiling and try to hit it with the fairy (i think hers was tinkerbell? it was green, anyway)
mightymouse513 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sky dancers! I had this one
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:07:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lawnmowers maybe? I'm with you though, it would be pretty awesome
aabicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now introducing the chainsaw helicopter: Rev it up, then fly through forests and cut down trees with it!
Draav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that's basically how airplanes started back then
kickstand ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:36:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In German, a glove is a "hand shoe."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:01:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't it be "hand sock"?
kickstand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://en.pons.com/translate/german-english/Handschuh
annieareyouokayannie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love me some gummy hand shoes.
Jeff_Powell ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:31:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair to her, we used to start aeroplane propellers by physically spinning them, if she's never had any interaction with helicopters in movies then that might not be totally unreasonable. How old though?
pagnoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman in high school at the time. So like, 12-14?
Jeff_Powell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, little too old to have not seen movies, it's not looking good for this girl...
DownWithTheShip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gloves are pants for your hands.
IAmGodMode ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She could've just thought they were started like those old WW1 WW2 planes where someone would manually start up the propeller.
pagnoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A valid point. I had no considered that, which does make some sense.
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why in Gods name are hander pants a real thing?
Also, rip corded started helicopters sound awesome. Maybe she saw a gas powered quad copter with a pull start before?
balancerof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want you to know that at least 5 people I know just got a wonderful pitch for handerpants complete with a link.
pagnoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keep me updated on their handerpants adventures.
balancerof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well my manager sent the web link to her whole family. They are hitting wall Mart to buy some lol
Airstrider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mind is blow. I'm strongly considering getting my wife a pair for valentine's day.
pagnoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me know how that goes. I don't think my wife would be pleased.
Airstrider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:38:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. I will try to remember. My wife has a really good sense of humor. And those handerpants would be a gag gift after fancy bacon from our local butcher.
Dustin_00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and... and... they have ringtones!...!?!....?!????
eoJ1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/showerthoughts
smilingnsfw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, the commercial for them features "Can't Touch This" as background music.
elkabongg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you could have enhanced her life by showing her an episode of Airwolf.
ChristianGeek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So just wearing gloves is like going commando?
Girlinhat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glove liners are a strange concept, though.
TinFoilBeanieTech ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glove Liners are like underwear: you wear them under your regular gloves.
FLABANGED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well before you start the actual engine of the helicopter you start the APU. Same applies to most planes.
AtmosphericMusk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean gloves kind of are underwear for your hands though
breadplane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:30 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, one of the uses they listed on that website was just "the elderly"
Chaos_Therum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:41 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that sounds like she was either high or still reeling from shower thoughts.
TheNoitaerc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:04 on March 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it only be underwear if you wore it under gloves? So gloves are clearly hand clothes!
Minas-Harad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.handerpants.com/
dude_diligence ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 15:18:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin is a teacher, and one day he had to teach a sex ed unit to the class. You know the ones where everyone splits off into boy and girl groups so that they can put any question in a hat and have it answered anonymously. He is a guy so he was answering the questions for the boys.
So, he got some questions that were clearly looking for stupid answers, and threw them out. As usual, certain jokers were trying to get a rise out of him. Then he got a question that asked "Why do you have to have an erection to have sex with a girl?"
This one he couldn't avoid, he didn't know if it was serious or not so he decided he would have to answer it. He said "you know how you have the plastic tip on the end of your shoelaces to get it into the hole? It is kind of like that."
This may be the greatest metaphor I ever personally heard of.
Thank you for listening.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:15:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aglets.
mshall1987 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of middle school sex Ed. The jokester of the class asked if he popped a girl's cherry would she get pregnant? My early twenties young female teacher turned bright red.
Ben_zyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever tried pushing cooked sphagetti through a letterbox? Actually there's almost certainly no real world explanation for that being a thing but I'll stick with the concept anyway.
FrisianDude ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:43:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but any letterbox that stops uncooked spaghetti will break cooked spaghetti.
itsmeclooney ยท 8603 points ยท Posted at 14:38:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While discussing the bill of rights:
"If we got the right to bear arms, why can't we wear tank tops in school"
Brilliant
Rivuzu ยท 1851 points ยท Posted at 15:11:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GUN SHOW.
11181514 ยท 209 points ยท Posted at 16:01:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OBAMA CAN'T BAN THESE GUNS แ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)แ
yakalakkin ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 16:45:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SUNS OUT GUNS OUT BOIAAAH
psychobilly1 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:47:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obama can't ban anything now.
:c
Stickeris ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:12:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He can ban Sasha from hanging out with that Craig guy.
Erisianistic ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:59:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But can Trump?
DarkLink1065 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:26:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not. while in the past he's expressed a few pro-gun control opinions, I don't think it was ever an issue at the core of his political agenda beyond switching to being pro-gun rights to gain allies with conservatives. He's verbally backed a couple of gun-rights bills (see below), but has more or less said that police investigation and court procedures are what need attention to prevent crime and that gun control is ineffective.
The two big gun rights bills that have started to go through are the Hearing Protection Act (HPA) and a National Reciprocity bill (NR).
The HPA will remove suppressors from their current legal category (which is currently the same category as machine guns, explosive devices, and short barrel rifles). It's called the HPA because that's the actual purpose of suppressors; guns are extremely loud and can easily permanently damage your hearing, so a lot of gun owners love shooting with suppressors because you don't need to wear multiple levels of ear pro for every person on the range. I'll note that not only are suppressors typically legal in Europe, but are often required to minimize noise pollution. The hollywood stereotypes about "silencers" are pretty much bullshit, even with a suppressor firearms are still quite loud. Suppressors just drop the decibels down to an "ear safe" range. Suppressors are also very expensive, and criminals almost universally stick to very cheap guns (because it's usually poverty and poor socioeconomic situations that drive them to crime in the first place). Gun control groups will fight it, but only on principal and there's no real reason for concern that the bill would cause some sort of crime problem.
The NR bill is primarily about concealed carry laws. Currently, these are handled on a state-by-state basis. Most states are shall-issue and respect licences from other states, but many do not and it creates issues when gun owners travel. The purpose of the bill is to require states to respect other state's CCW permits, which may require states who are currently very strict on who they issue ccw permits to (read: they basically won't issue a permit) to issue permits more freely. So if you don't like concealed carry, you won't like this bill. That said, CCW permit holders across the nation are just about the most law-abiding group you can find (they commit fewer crimes of all types than police officers, and police officers are convicted of crimes at about 1/40th of the rate if your average citizen) so I wouldn't worry about a CCW crime wave either. I'm not sure if there are other parts of the bill covering things like concealed carry on college campuses, you'd have to look that up.
ModsDontLift ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:42:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy reads.
Erisianistic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:00:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was an interesting view of a topic I don't know much about. Thank you for typing that all up :)
DarkLink1065 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:31:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem. There are probably going to be some more gun-rights bills upcoming in the next few years thanks to the republican majority, but I think there are the two "big" ones getting started right now at the federal level.
IsThisAllThatIsLeft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't be surprised if they order that all public accomadations allow concealed carry/firearms, since those can also be regulated at from the federal level per the Civil Rights Act.
DarkLink1065 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I expect a lot more stuff to come in the next few years. I know a lot of gun owners are clamoring for a repeal of the NFA.
cookacooka ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:31:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nerd
sandm000 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:40:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two tickets, please.
Daisypusha1323 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:27:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE TICKET BUYS YOU THE WHOLE SEAT BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE!!
Vanetia ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:15:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SUN'S OUT; GUNS OUT
Piedra-magica ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:17:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sun's Out! Guns Out!
No_S ยท 2560 points ยท Posted at 15:18:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If this was intentional, then it's actually kinda witty.
1Maple ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 16:19:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's at least three different puns in there.
I_play_elin ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 16:56:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bear arms=show arms
Tanks="arms"
What's the third?
1Maple ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 17:09:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With a tank top, would be showing off his muscles, aka Guns.
Wolfey1618 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:26:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was imagining someone who had the top part of a military tank for a head.
rynomachine ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:08:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bare arms
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:09:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 tickets to the gun show
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Showing arms = bare arms
closefamilyties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I count 4
1Maple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, what's the fourth then?
Jahkral ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:41:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No clue about the fourth but the 5th is pretty fucking brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no 5th, but the 6th one though...
Generic-username427 ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 16:13:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's actually a pretty clever thing to say for someone in high school if they're trying to criticise dress code
uReallyShouldTrustMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dad was a kid once.
Michamus ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, until the teacher says "You don't have the right to bear arms at school, so you can't wear tank tops either."
EagleBuck ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:38:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The line between witty and witless is a fine one
Iksuda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:48:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's VERY witty, I sure hope it was intentional.
Diabolo_Advocato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Id say more of a triple (or quadruple depending on how you look at it) pun
ArbitraryPotato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the triple entendre
Death_Star_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey my friends and I are witty!
We thought we were so clever coming up with it. After a point we reduced it down to "tank tawps, bnear arwms" in a Team America Maaaatttt Daaaammmon voice. We were stupid actually.
We even tried to go for the triple entendre of saying that every citizen has the right to own and use the tops of tanks as a way of bearing weapons.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I_Bin_Painting ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:43:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it would be kinda stupid/naive if it wasn't intentional.
Being a douchebag requires intent.
OneoftheChosen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:50:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy skips arm day
EatingSexually ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? It's on hundreds of different t-shirts
SlinkiestMan ยท 430 points ยท Posted at 15:18:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one is way more hilarious than stupid
fafafefefofo0 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:25:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not stupid at all.
MaxOfS2D ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:25:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how this works regardless of whether you choose to interpret it as a pun. Brilliant.
xBeleti ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 15:23:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid or punny? I'd say punny.
MeatNoodleSauce ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:04:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I personally like the right to grizzly calves.
Obelix13 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:28:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want the right for monkey tails!
StewartTurkeylink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never skip leg day
lovesbooksandmovies ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:42:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
DexterVane ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:27:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why but the first time I read that I thought he was making a point about owning tanks. As in military vehicle.
mildcaseofdeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which, under some circumstances, you can.
And flame throwers are 49 state legal; CA still allows them, but regulates them to be shorter ranged for wildfire reasons.
BigDisk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:28:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got "If we got the right to bear arms, why don't we see any bear arms around?" once.
Qui-Gon-Whiskey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:47:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a perfect opportunity to lean about homonyms.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:50:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also stupid that kids can't wear tank tops in school. If some Cheeto fingered rat mustached thirteen year old can't focus because they can't help but get a hard on every time they see a shoulder, that person has bigger problems.
tunerfish ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:23:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make shirts for this NOW. Become thousandaire.
Mad_Hatter_Bot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:02:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tank tops*
Kakarot_faps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exclusively sold at tfm
JELLY__FISTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RowdyGentlemen *
xanplease ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:28:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/shittyaskscience
merc08 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:32:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get her joke, but the easy answer is that the bill of rights stops the federal government from doing things, not schools or companies.
StewartTurkeylink ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:37:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Umm...aren't schools run by the Federal government (or at least the public ones are) so doesn't that still apply?
Kakarot_faps ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:04:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Run by state and local actually. Legally they won't get punished of course, just like it's not illegal to text in class but you'll still get detention or something.
KuntaStillSingle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:00:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Constitutional rights apply to state governments due to 14th amendment, this is why states ideally can't discriminate racially or take er guns.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kakarot_faps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can typically have it in your car no issue
TheRealBobbyC ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:54:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need a new Ammendment to protect the right to bare thighs
Fordluvr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As much as people would like to think this kid is hella witty, all it probably means is that he heard his dad listening to a Larry the Cable Guy album.
Sihplak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that's a good double entendre; right to "bare arms" and right to "bear arms", i.e. right to not have your arms covered and the right to show off your "guns".
Dirty-Freakin-Dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IllBePirateKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We've got the right to bear arms, but my mom says i need to shave."
ProgHog231 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate, National Rifle Association.
Nomnomnommer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please tell me this one was at least a little muscly
omart3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because tank tops are vehicles.
reagan-nomics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bare arms.
BirdLawSpecialist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those guns don't come with safeties.
Smasborgen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one was very witty.
hoewood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sun's out guns out brah!
Toomanyalterstocount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Because none of you are druids, Timmy."
bongo1138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? They don't let people wear tank tops in school now?
redfoot62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No animals allowed in school?
Well what about these PYTHONS BROTHER?!
JustOnesAndZeros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
insert obligatory Family Guy reference here...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes sense, if you have a pair of bear arms,why wouldn't you want to show them off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know it's actually a good point, even besides the pun. People can carry guns around but I can't wear a sleeveless shirt to school?
irotsoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you have arms with fur and big claws.
Mend1cant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you reply: "why would it matter? It's not like you have any arms to bear."
Bamith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He deserves extra credit for that one.
I_love_pillows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tankpeople have rights too!
ScarsUnseen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Because you don't actually have rights yet and are basically your parents' slave. Turns out Lincoln didn't like kids much."
zverkalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
clearly the answer is 'because you are not a bear'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, there's a bunch of ways to look at that phrase. Maybe he was joking. Or maybe he thought it meant one of the meanings mentioned above. Maybe he was just dumb. It's honestly hard to tell with some people.
MakesMaDookieTwinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is the real MVP
bigwig1894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once in ancient history class we were talking about the Ephors of Sparta, and how they held the most power and authority, and the teacher jokingly was using himself as an example of an Ephor and us students as an example of the citizens of Sparta, saying he held power over us and he could tell us what to do and all that.
He told one of my friends to shut up because he was talking to much, and that he had to do it because he was and Ephor and my friend was just a citizen of Sparta, so my mate says "yeah you might be an e-four, but I'm an e-five"
I've never thought about it much but he really is a witty guy.
jim10040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, MST3K did have an episode where they wore tank tops.
OhShitACrab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't tell if he meant the right to bear his arms, or the right to have bare arms. Extremely clever, either way.
kanad3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of school doesn't allow tank tops?? That's fucked up.
dbchiu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=29785&type=card
PanTheRiceMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. What about this question is stupid?
giveer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn. That person's allowed to carry a firearm.
VixDzn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Why can't you? What the fuck America.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no regerts
milkysniper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck, thank you mr clooney
JohnnyFoxborough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.bustedtees.com/secondamendment
Parandroid2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"YEEEEAAAHHHHH!!! WE WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN!!!"
AdverseTFV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must have been Mac
HeroofWinds1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they are not BEAR arms, they are human arms
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the right to Bare Arms isn't it?
QuantumLunacy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If anyone said this in real life I promise no one would find it funny. Only online do people pretend that 'being witty' is 'hilarious'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because school unlike what I'm teaching you, is not a democracy.
Dacvak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that is a perfect joke.
chemistry_teacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All I got is that one kid asked me once why Alanis Morrisette was so successful when everything she wrote in that song was just coincidental.
SniffinSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait is this a stupid question, or stupid lack of sarcasm?
Arancaytar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A pun on multiple layers
stevoblunt83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's genius.
SaturdayMorningSwarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's so stupid about that?
everlastingSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bear arms? You teach bears?
SozSurt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was kind of hoping it would be something along the lines of "If we got the right to bear arms, why can't we arm bears?" but I'll take it.
Foxfire2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As in bare arms?
NormativeTruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid's going places! Genius.
Rcp_43b ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:31:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That isn't a stupid question just a hilarious student, what was it like teaching Dom Mazzetti in school?
Kakarot_faps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A true future fiji
Hypertroph ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's the right to bare arms. This is the right to bear arms.
coolhandsdad ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future redditor right here. The upvotes are strong with this one.
Jubguy3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop
[deleted] ยท 1212 points ยท Posted at 14:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I'm a librarian/archivist and I used to work at a university. One time a student came in while I was doing reference and he was waiting to pick up a print job or something so he started asking me questions to pass the time. Which is cool, except it very quickly devolved into him flagrantly trying to impress/hit on me. (I have no idea why.)
Basically, the dumbest question a student ever asked me was, complete with what I'm sure were his best bedroom eyes, "so have you ever read The Art of Seduction?"
cinnapear ยท 1138 points ยท Posted at 15:34:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got this one:
You're cute.
[deleted] ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 17:47:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
brb blushing furiously
it takes one to know one, you know. scientific fact
NguyenCommaLong ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 19:05:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see. You didn't read "The Art of Seduction"; you wrote it.
GameRoom ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:14:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, have you ever read The Art of Seduction?
MADNESS0918 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 22:20:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:57:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: The tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise = The Art of Seduction.
chris96simons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/prequelmemes is leaking
makeyourownlunch ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:38:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that those who have are more likely to be psychos. The book sounded cool to me so I looked into it. After screening through the book I understood it to be more of an "analyze the population, select your prey, deceive the prey, feast and feel rewarded" type book than a "be smooth" kinda thing. If that kid read the book he may have some distorted thoughts on the way things are.
awildaltappears ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:07:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/wholesomememes
part_time_nerd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:55:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know the blushing is in the art of seduction
Fiyero109 ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 16:07:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
more important question, was HE cute
DeargDoom79 ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 16:58:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got this one;
Probably not.
nyyrhtak ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:21:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smooth
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:53:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dunnowy123 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:48:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At a university? Where you're surrounded by a ton of girls and statistically speaking, more likely to find a hottie than almost anywhere else?
NAH.
Warpato ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:04:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mentiok most universities are majority female...further increases the likelihood of hottness. Shout out to UD 70/30 ratio.
LtWorf_ ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:46:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you study engineering.
watson-and-crick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cries
Although while my faculty is 28% girls, my program is 60%
-C-Henn- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:32:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man it's a good thing the internet's anonymous.
where_is_the_cheese ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:09:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only way to know for sure is pictures.
kratosfanutz ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pictures of Spider-Man?
zehuti ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:39:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously, what else would we be talking about?
FlashbackJon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:17:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But seriously, I need pictures of Spider-Man.
ThePancakeChair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:02 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/O28UN
Say goodbye to the rest of your day
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
smooth af.
forerunner398 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We found the student reddit!
cherbs ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 16:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?
moronicuniform ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 16:33:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-long-suffering sigh- Sexlexia.
caanthedalek ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:44:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The quickest way to a woman's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.
MedicinalSCIENCE ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:04:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read in Zap's voice 10/10
Erisianistic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:44:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name checks TF OUT
Drac1902 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:59:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really?
isperfectlycromulent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't think military uniforms made out of velour are idiotic?
ChristianGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dyssexia.
Astilaroth ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:17:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well?
quenishi ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:34:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope the answer was "no, but I don't think you have either..."
vettehead90 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:47:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a fool, The Art of Seduction is overrated. Real men use The Prince of Persuasia.
Taniwha_NZ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:49:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless the first rule in 'The Art Of Seduction' is 'Ask if they have read The Art Of Seduction', that kid was an idiot.
lfantine ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:23:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His game was arts and crafts level. Macaroni necklace art of seduction.
blunth0le ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:56:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Librarian solidarity. I work in the reference department of a public library. I had to stop wearing makeup and implement the traditional "librarian bun" to get the male patrons to leave me alone. One patron had to be trespassed from the library because he kept trying to corner me.
donteatmenooo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:39:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there some meaning to the word "trespassed" that I don't know?
blunth0le ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:25:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It means there is an official order that the patron cannot be on library property for a certain amount of time. The patron in question cannot come on library property for a year.
Fabgrrl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a librarian too. My husband insists the librarian bun is sexy, at least he always says so when I wear my hair up.
blunth0le ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:31:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely understand that, haha! But I find it makes me more ~intimidating~, so the patrons tend to not get as fresh with me.
tk-not21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its all about the reveal.
Let the bun become undone and shake it loose.
grocket ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:30:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.
stripes361 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:01:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Didn't have to. I wrote the damn thing."
entenkin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, "Why would a boy try to impress me?" is a pretty dumb question.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:45:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
most guys think I'm a lesbian (which is reasonable and largely accurate) so I actually almost never get hit on by men.
entenkin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:54:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even by gay men? (This is a thread about stupid questions, after all)
anal-razor ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:40:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think your comment has had enough to drink, sir.
ConspiracyVictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP COME ON
liberonscien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have. It's a pretty engaging read. I still can't meet people but it is a good book.
enry_straker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could it be because he wanted to have sex with you?
AnyaSatana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another university librarian here. My two most stupid questions were: (a) Have you got Anals of Tourism Research? (b) What's a journal? Is it like a book?
52in52Hedgehog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is (a) dumb?
AnyaSatana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because she said anal as in related to the anus. She should have said annals with a short "a", which means a record of the events of a year (as in annual).
52in52Hedgehog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, I suspected that would be it. Lol
Dustin_00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cuz librarians read all the naughty books. That student knows where to get the good stuff!
madecausebored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Without context, this could just be an honest question. And it's a good book by the way.
Source: am currently reading The Art of Seduction.
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
Yourhackingsensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Kevin mitknick ? Lol oh wait the art of deception lol
jesssea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this I found it kind of interesting/a bit sickening when you apply it to different situations
Danica170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in Zap Brannigan's voice.....
CH0AM_N0MSKY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoulda said "you clearly haven't."
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:22 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hillary?
Rlaumnalde ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:43:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No he didn't.
Gnostic_Mind ยท 240 points ยท Posted at 15:08:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an older student going to college, one things stands out for me....
We were discussing the coastal flooding attributed to the melting of the ice caps, and the kid asked the professor what the big deal was... the land was lifting as fast as the sea was rising anyway.
The professor stopped to digest that for a moment.
The kid went on to say that the flooding wasn't a worry because all of the worlds coastlines were constantly lifting up out of the ocean depths.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 19:34:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KindaUglyAmerican ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:13:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is true in the US as well. It is called isostatic rebound and parts of the Canadian Tundra are rising up to 18mm a year.
widermind ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:16:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i wonder if that kid has lived on a floating island
LexxiiConn ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:07:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like someone had a basic idea of isostacy but didn't really understand it properly.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:27:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's semi-true for the Great Lakes, so it's possible he was just over-generalizing from practically no information
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:15:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Pawprintjj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:13:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny, how 'bout some more coffee?
goldanred ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phew, glad someone figured out the problem.
juiceboxheero ยท 1970 points ยท Posted at 13:16:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you get to America from Africa on a Jet Ski?
whatIsThisBullCrap ยท 2338 points ยท Posted at 13:24:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can if the jetski is on a ship
edrmeow ยท 849 points ยท Posted at 15:20:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
รlvaro de Marichalar used to hold the world record for longest distance by Jet Ski when he went from Rome to New York City in 2002. I'd say it's definitely possible, West African ports don't make for great PR opportunities though, so it probably won't ever happen.
DemIce ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 16:02:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't see what the problem would be as long as you can tug all the extra fuel behind you. In the case of de Marichalar: "A support ship with six crew members carried fuel and food."
QuinineGlow ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 16:18:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say that violates the spirit of the question, at the very least...
zverkalt ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:21:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you have enough money to waste, pretty much anything is possible
StevenTM ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:16:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the spirit likes it ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
DemIce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it, though? I think we don't have enough information in the question to make it a definite 'no', whereas with assumptions it's easily a definite 'yes'.
Instead of saying "no" or "yes", though, a teacher might engage the student by starting with "what do you think? How would you do it?"
frozenwings1 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:47:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't you theoretically jet ski forever if you had a ship behind you with supplies? Did he do this without sleeping? I guess that could be a determining factor.
Goluxas ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:10:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the same way you can theoretically run 10 back to back marathons if you could stop for food and rest. Theoretically possible for everyone, but only a few would have the drive to do it.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 17:18:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been running consecutive marathons my own life, just at my own pace and by myself.
ass2ass ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:06:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've just been walking them. I'll probably finish another one the next time I go to the bathroom.
wasdennkommran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Ultramarathon
nate800 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:31:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The engine in my Waverunner is rated to last 1,500 hours, so if you had a ship following you that could provide food, water, light mechanical maintenance like oil changes, and other such items I suppose you could go for one hell of a ride.
DemIce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the article I got that from said he sailed (not sure that's the word here) for 12 hours a day, and had to do so standing most of the time so as not to completely screw up his spine. I guess rough seas for an extended period on one's posterior is not physically recommended.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:36:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was there a sail involved in moving him? Like, he was being propelled by the wind pushing a big piece of canvas? If not, then sailing is exactly the wrong word.
DemIce ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:40:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I'm not entirely sure what the correct word would be either. "Sailing" is definitely used for powered ships as well.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:13:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only by idiots and members of the Navy, but I repeat myself. Powered ships do not sail, period.
DemIce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Riiight, but then what do they do? Just 'traveled' or what?
SquishyDelishy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Far before towing enough fuel, you would get to a point where the weight being towed can't be moved effectively by the jet ski. The only way to cross an ocean on a jet ski is with support by boats!
macphile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to figure out how this could be, but sure, if you had fuel, and you stopped at night and slept...I mean, you're barely doing it at all. But congrats to him, I guess?
SulliverVittles ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:11:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought driving across western Kansas sucked. I can't imagine the monotony of that.
MZM204 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:33:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's no drunk driving laws in international waters, I know what I'd be doing
SulliverVittles ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:35:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if you are going to be driving jet ski for days at a time you might as well be wasted.
sualsuspect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:52 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, but much worse by Jet Ski.
hasafewbuckstospare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:51 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dare you to jetski through the amber waves of grain
melodicrobotic ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:12:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you've ever crossed the Atlantic by boat, you know this is absolute madness. I remember the first time I walked out on the deck of a huge Navy ship in the middle of the Atlantic. Seeing those giant blue swells, I had a sublime experience of being totally inconsequential to nature.
edrmeow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can only imagine. I bet in some long forgotten part of the internet there is some batshit crazy footage from his journey.
Inocain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:05:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty easy, just follow the Mohawk to the Hudson and then take the Hudson down. Oh wait, you meant Italy, didn't you.
Dustin_00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
117 days at sea... ouch.
GroovinWithAPict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm your Captain now!
52in52Hedgehog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been confusing jet skiing and water skiing this WHOLE TIME. Luckily...
RUST_LIFE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem, head for east africa!
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be docking in Morocco, right across from Gibraltar, so you'd actually probably have excellent PR coverage.
frostburner ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:02:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure West African aren't, but he wants to do African so therefore he means Zimbabwe ports. Zimbabwe has ports right?
ryncewynde88 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:14:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Airports, yes. Sea ports, no. Landlocked country. We have a large lake and 2 large rivers along our borders though.
Source: Zimbabwean
BuffaloSabresFan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he stop to refuel or sleep? My back hurts just thinking about jet skiing that far.
nate800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He would go for 12-14 hours at a time and sleep for about 4 hours. He had a supply ship with calorie-dense food bars, water, and fuel. He had 4 external fuel tanks as well.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:57:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or if it's a very big jetski and you have someone bringing you gas, lol.
SgtKashim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:37:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a mad German doctor who solo kayaked from Europe to North America twice... He did some modification, though - added a sail and an outrigger. Lots of fishing.
I'm sure with the right planning and mods you could do it on a jet ski, but the fuel would be problematic. Bet you could do it on a jetski towing a supply raft, though.
bigfruitbasket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or your jetski is a ship.
Orisi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see a new challenge. Someone has already swam across Australia in the back of a truck, time to jet-ski to America.
ThePancakeChair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:54 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a plane
TheKocsis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:24:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed way more than i should have
nagol93 ยท 385 points ยท Posted at 14:42:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have enough fuel, food, and water. YES!!!
juiceboxheero ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 14:49:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I was like well technically you can, but you would almost certainly die trying.
nagol93 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:53:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wanna bet?!?!?
Im currently working on a way to drive (in a car) across the Atlantic, from New York to London. The jetski will be easy!
Poobslag ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:07:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm struggling to think about how you could possibly drive from New York to London in a car. Unless... are you eight? And does your plan involve like, a really cool jump ramp?
nagol93 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:12:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Theoretically it you gun it hard enough you can hydroplane to Europe. The hard part is finding a car capable of achieving such acceleration and top speed.
The issue with the ramp is the angle of flight would probably cause me to leave the atmosphere, and I would be fighting against gravity.
mako98 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:27:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just get one of those jet powered cars they use to break the land-speed records and replace the wheels with skis.
firstand20 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And replace the body of the car with a boat.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:26:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And replace the whole enterprise with getting shitfaced.
DavidBeckhamsNan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:35:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Captain Kirk wouldn't have gotten far with that attitude.
nagol93 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:29:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm..... That could work. How do those things go for?
drunkdoor ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:37:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what about... Waves...
JavaMoose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just have to travel exactly the same speed as the waves.
BoogerMalone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
waves are just god's jumps
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once you get to the drop off there isnt much waves. Waves only really appear near the coasts.
knealis76 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waves occur everywhere, the wavelengths tend to elongate the deeper the water is, making them usually easier to navigate. A good way to ease this would be to switch from skis to hydrofoils. You'd right just above the chop, significantly decrease drag forces and rocket across the ocean. But then again you're no longer driving a car across the ocean anymore are you.
mako98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only a few million dollars I think. Or you could steal one. How are they gonna catch you? You stole the fastest "car" in the world.
nagol93 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:18:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get a small loan of 10 million dollars, please?
Joshsed11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or get an amphibious vehicle
st1tchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is sounds like you are also assuming a flat ocean, like a puddle on a road. The ocean is not flat at all.
nagol93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Oceans not flat?!?!?!?
This changes everything. I will need to adjust the shape of the tires, maybe to something more square. To account for the angle of the curve.
st1tchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would go more of a snowmobile route. Skis on the front and a large drive wheel or tread in the back.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure some of the waves are big enough that you'd just smack into them and either total the car or submerge yourself.
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone else already brought that to my attention. Dont worry Ive adjusted the car's wheels to allow for a smoother ride.
I replaced the normal round ones with a triangular-like shape. Allowing for smoother motion on liquid based surfaces.
MarkNutt25 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:59:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Top Gear drove a car across the English Channel, so why not across the Atlantic? Just seal it up with some foam, attach some 50 gallon drums to the sides for stability, and bolt a propeller to the back, and you should be good to go! Just be sure to pack an umbrella. London can be a bit rainy this time of year.
Kichigai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, we found one of the guys responsible for 1958. Break out the amnestics.
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol, thats amazing!
Unfortunately I am not one of those people. But with my Theoretical Degree in Physics and deep understanding of KBR (Kerbal Based Rocketry), I feel like I could get a small bus in the Andromeda Galaxy is a short 1.7 million years.
Of corse I will need to brush up on quantum tunneling to assist in breaking the light barrier, Im a bit rusty in that field.
Kichigai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youโฆ you didn't read the excepts of the diary, did you?
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Im reading them now
Kichigai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is "amazing" still the word you'd use to describe SCP-1958?
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:06 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but in a different sense then I originally intended
consolsnowdnir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out pny2009.com. Technically they go from Paris to New York, but I don't see why you couldn't reverse the trip.
(Personally, I think it's probably a lot easier and cheaper to ship your car over on a ship but if you're absolutely set on the car must drive over...)
1SweetChuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best bet might be crossing the ocean from Sierra Leone to Brazil, it's just less than 1800 miles. Based on these specs, if you had external tanks so you could carry 3x your normal fuel load you would only need to fuel up 7 times. If you rested for 10 hours at the 3rd and 6th fuel stop you could make it in less than 3 days. Of course you would need support ships to do those stops. But once to Brazil you could go up the cost through the Virgin Islands, the Dominican Republic, the Bahamas to Miami.
Doing the crossing without support vessels would be tough, you would need to carry (probably pull) well more than a ton of fuel to get across from Sierra Leone to Brazil in one go.
alahos ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:23:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's an interesting idea to ponder. Could a jetski haul all that stuff across the Atlantic? Would the energy density of the fuel be sufficient or would it all burn just to carry its own weight? Would the trip exceed the lifespan of the machine?
detroitmatt ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:34:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine the waters would at some point become too rough and knock you off the jetski, or capsize it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
detroitmatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but good luck getting back onto it in the middle of the ocean.
RariCalamari ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:50:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Certainly couldnt do it on its own but what if it had a support ship and tried to avoid storms? I dont know enough about the conditions out on the ocean but I would be cutious if it could be done with help.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably possible, just pretty dangerous
of_course_you_agree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'd want to have tools and spare parts on the journey. Maybe tow all that stuff on a raft behind the jetski?
quichagan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And sunblock so your skin doesnt peel off
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great, now I have to block out the sun too. Thx for reminding me.
Whats the easiest way to do this? Im thinking a volcanic eruption.
quichagan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
quichagan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its just common sense, Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im sorry but I dont know English that well, and I have no clue what that sentence means.
quichagan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aha no problem man, its a common 4chan copypasta.
https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/bua9a/whats_that_confusing_sentence_that_always_gets/
Its complete nonsense and means nothing
GradeEhCanadian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean if you have enough water? You're going over an ocean, there's water everywhere. /s
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ture! glug glug glgu ...... I feel a bit sleepy
OldBreadbutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and really exceptionally calm waters?
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
keep reading my comments :)
One-one-eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And somewhere to sleep. The journey would take the best part of a week
thruthewindowBN ยท 366 points ยท Posted at 13:47:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl in my history class in 7th grade (13y/o) ask if there were any bridges across the Atlantic Ocean.
SoulWager ยท 476 points ยท Posted at 14:22:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a reasonable question to ask. I can't remember ever getting any lessons along the lines of, "give students a sense of scale". Sure, you can look at a map, but you have to correlate things on the map to something you have a real world reference for. Like, two cities looking close together on the map, but being a 3 hour drive away in real life.
Skilol ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, as a kid knowing about just half the crazy shit humanity has accomplished/created, it doesn't seem all that far-fetched to think that other crazy shit was done too. If you just think of how incredible of an achievement computers are, or walking around on the moon, would it really be a giant bridge where you'd say "Okay, now that's just something that can't be done."
The best way to find out what has been done and what hasn't, is to ask. I don't see a problem there.
yakalakkin ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:43:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watched True Lies (1994) when I was a kid, and growing up I always thought bridges over the ocean were a totally doable thing. I just figured it'd be reeeally hard to build them because of how deep the ocean is.
RazzPitazz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:20:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just imagined driving on a bridge for a week to cross the Pacific.
throwaway969798 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:07:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also the modern day maps aren't exactly accurate scale wise
SoulWager ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:08:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only map that is is a globe.
throwaway969798 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:19:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
basically what I meant
SuperSocrates ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:49:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to ancient, scale-accurate maps?
throwaway969798 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No as in opposit to future holographic globe maps.
shapu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:21:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's one of the weird things about the midwest, or even the Appalachians - you have NO sense of how close together things are in the east.
I'm in Philly now, and I'm two hours from Baltimore, three from Washington, less than two from New York, six from Boston, four-and-a-half from Richmond, and four-and-a-half from Pittsburgh. I can go skiing in Vermont in less than six hours, and see moose in Maine between breakfast and dinner, or get to Cape Hatteras in time for afternoon tea.
But living in St. Louis, the closest city that counted for anything was Kansas City, four hours away; Chicago was about five to downtown. Memphis was four, if you floored it. That's it. You try to explain the fact that you can't just up and go visit other cities if you live in the Midwest to East coasters and they are completely flummoxed.
I guess what I'm saying is that people for whom everything is close have no concept of distance. "Is there a bridge across the Atlantic" makes perfect sense if you think that all big cities are close enough together to drive to them in a day. If you've never known the boredom of western Kansas or central Mississippi then you've got no inherent reason to understand what great distances really are.
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not just the Midwest and Appalachia, either. Basically anywhere in America besides the Northeast.
cassiopeia1280 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why so many people think Alaska is an island off the coast of California, right next to Hawaii.
zmija15 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:21:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude there is a scale on like any map ever created. It is 1:x where 1 represents 1cm on a map, and x equals nimber of cm on the ground. So you take a ruler see how many cm is from one city to another and if x is let's say 100000, and the distance between two cities on a map is 10 cm it means their air distance is 10 km.
WebbieVanderquack ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:43:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/SoulWager did say "sense of scale." You can look at a map and calculate the distance, but it still doesn't really give a kid a sense of how vast these spaces are.
That's why people can't understand why they haven't found MH370 yet. Most of us don't really understand how big the ocean is.
SoulWager ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 15:32:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You still have to make the connection between the number and personal experience. Like, I can tell you the Sun is 150 million km away, but it's too abstract. You won't understand the scale of it just from the number, you need something like this: http://joshworth.com/dev/pixelspace/pixelspace_solarsystem.html
upset_orangutan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:43:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is super informing, thanks for the link!
CrazyTripDude7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I understand what you're saying, but at the same time it's pretty easy to make a personal connection.
For example, the Sun is 150 million km away. If you wanted to "drive" there it would take roughly 170 years to get there going at a highway speed (100km/h).
Going by that I can tell its fucking far.
94358132568746582 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that is exactly what the other person is saying. 150 million km is abstract. 170 years of deriving is a relatable sense of scale. Especially for children, giving them relatable senses of scale helps to understand abstract distances.
peacemaker2007 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As my wife can attest, for me one fuck is 3cm. How many fucks to the Sun?
KrowGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 million.
FuzzySAM ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 hundred million.
zmija15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I didn't see you were talking about sense of scale rather than scaling on a map, so sorry about that, but do you really think sense of scale can be taught in schools? I mean it's also a sense, and everyone has a different sense if scale and uses different scale to those 150 milion km. It is something you gain through life, and teacher can bring it closer to you, but might fail. For example the site you provided here doesn't give me the insights to the distance, as it gives it to you. For me the fact that you can fit about 10000 Earths between Earth and Sun provides much more insight to the distance than your source does with the pixels. So that is something that is individual and can't be taught IMO.
Beetin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know grade 7 math algebra is shit like "3w + 2 = 8, what is w?"
Grade 7 ratio work is shit like "Are the ratios 1:4 and 2:10 equivalent?". "9/3 = 15/f"
Expecting all students, even the ones that are a little behind, to be able to look at a map, find the ratio, convert, if needed, from cm to m or km, measure the distance between two points, multiply both sides of the distance by the ratio (4-5 digit numbers here, not 1-2 digit), get the actual distance between two points, then relate that distance to a time scale in terms of how long driving would take (divide 1200 / 60 for example, is already a tough problem).
If they haven't been exposed to maps very much (a reasonable assumption for many kids) and haven't really talked through the idea that maps show a scale of the world, the scales are shown here, here is what the scale means, here are different maps with vastly different scales and how that works. Etc. As adults, especially in the digital age, we've spent enough time looking up maps, zooming in/out, calculating driving distances, using maps, etc etc that it is second nature to us. We forget that all of that is learned information and skills.
Your question is basically: A map shows a ratio of 1cm = 15000 cm. Two cities are separated by the map by roughly 14 cm. Calculate the real distance between New York, USA and London, England. The golden gate bridge is 1.3 km long. How many cm long would that be on this map. How many times longer would the golden gate bridge have to be to reach from New York to London. Calculate the time it would take to travel to from New York to London if you traveled at 90 km/h.
It isn't hard math for an adult, and is pretty easy to estimate and apply your years of knowledge looking at maps, looking at distances, driving, talking to people, etc. It is much much more difficult for a 13 year old without those experiences to try to do the math above without that context and life experience to aid them.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:24:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've seen a scale on a world map? Really? That can't possibly be accurate due to map projection (at least for the most common projections).
SoulWager ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen scale on a mercator projection, looks like this: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/World_Scale_from_DMA_Series_1150_map.png
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's very different from the kind of scale /u/zmija15 was describing though.
SoulWager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that is exactly the kind of scale he was describing, it's just that a mercator projection needs a scale that varies with latitude.
Basically, if you maintain due west 1 meter south of the north pole or 1 meter north of the south pole, you would walk ~6.3 meters and end up in the same place you started, and would have covered the entire width of the map. If you maintain due west at the equator, you'd have to walk/swim 40 thousand kilometers. So you have to have a scale that varies with latitude. The top of that scale is accurate at plus or minus 80 degrees latitude. The bottom of that scale is accurate at the equator. It doesn't go all the way to 90 because that would have infinite width.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:35 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm perfectly aware. He was talking about using a ruler though and a simple 1:x scale. Nothing like this sort of projected scale.
planvital ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:58:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Florida keys
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my high school boyfriend. His sister was a few years older than us and she couldn't grasp why she couldn't just drive to Hawaii.
TychaBrahe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked a presenter talking about the colonization of the Americas how long it had taken the first people to cross from Asia into Alaska. He said hundreds, perhaps thousands of years. I was very confused. I mean the Bering Strait is 50 miles across at its narrowest. People hiking the Appalachian Trail do 10 miles in a day. I thought they'd be carrying more baggage, but surely it wouldn't have taken even a month. And how would you survive on a bridge for hundreds of years?
To my mind the bridge was about the size of the Brooklyn Bridge or the Golden Gate. Not manmade of metal obviously, but the link from mainland France to Mont Saint Michel used to be a a tidal causeway, and I was picturing something like that, only a bit wider, much longer, and permanently above sea level. I'd never seen pictures of Beringia, and had no idea this thousand mile wide tract of land was settled, not just crossed.
I was in my 40s.
R1ckJamesBitch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my dad that when I was like 8.
thruthewindowBN ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:14:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reasonable for an 8 year old. Kind of absurd for a teenager. And to clarify to everyone else, the question was more like a bridge to Europe.
Fisheatsbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the best answer would be to show pictures of the biggest bridge in the world, and compare how far it goes vs how far it would need to go.
some_clickhead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question sounds stupid, but we do have multiple cables running underwater across the Atlantic, which before I learned more about how the internet works I never would have imagined.
thruthewindowBN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, just read about this, mind completely blown. Very interesting stuff!
some_clickhead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:15 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure is haha. Humans are crazy creatures.
thruthewindowBN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:16 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upon some research, turns out the entire ocean is a goddamned spider web of cables.
floridadude123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confederation_Bridge
Fisheatsbear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That toll is amazingly expensive. Free to get to the island be 50 bucks to leave. What happens if youre stuck there cause you cant pay?
Houseton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you never seen Snowpiercer?
thruthewindowBN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, is there a transatlantic bridge in it?
Soranic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was an episode of I.M. Weasel...
somekindofhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/PZYqTMf
pmmeyourbeesknees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm mean, there's been sort of serious talk of a bridge across the barring strait, which would be a bridge across the Pacific. So not too bad.
ritchie70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When we went to Hawaii on vacation, my then high-school-age step-son asked if we were driving. From Illinois. He seriously thought there was a big bridge or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a dumb question. It's from an inquiring mind wondering about something that may be beyond what she's been taught about the world. Please be courteous to young people who ask these types of questions, because your answer could turn them off or on to science and STEM fields.
HandsomeHodge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time my dad was smuggling a car into Cuba from West Palm Beach by way of The Bahamas (Grand Bahama Island). I asked him why he didn't just take the bridge.
He looked at me for a second and asked: "Why do you think there is a bridge to Cuba?" and I said: "Isn't it the 7 mile one?" *
* - There is a bridge called "7 mile bridge" in the Keys (Marathon), it hosts a yearly foot race that my mother would frequently attend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, there is!
thruthewindowBN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok everyone. We didn't all point and laugh and call this girl an idiot. I just thought it was kind of silly to think there may be a 3,000 mile long bridge.
Aarakocra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the idea of having an overland transport between the major continental regions wouldn't be an outrageous idea. Other than the fact that it would be an engineering nightmare, the benefits of such would be fantastic.
thruthewindowBN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think about how many gas stations/stores/hotels, in the middle of the ocean hahaha.
Aarakocra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be a very lucrative business for those who did open them up. Heck, you might get entire floating communities...
Huh, this might be fun to write up for an RPG world...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:58:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't this an Easter egg in google maps? Maybe confused a few young minds
MrRobotsBitch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:10:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the same thing
CrustyCrone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was kayaking
mfb- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was also a Jet Ski somewhere, but it could have been for the Pacific.
aynrandomness ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:59:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One dude tried to jetski from norway to denmark. He ran out of petrol half way there. A ship stopped to help, he asked them to give him some petrol but they had none so they brought him to sweden.
wingsfan64 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:38:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone watched a lot of Survivor.
DaniliniHD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:12:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With enough fuel and an enormous amount of luck, I guess??
blisstake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant: it's possible to take a jet ski or even a snow machine (granted you don't stop or have floats mcgyvered on) from nome, Alaska to Russia IF IT WERENT FOR THE LEGAL ASPECT. Otherwise, totally possible.
812many ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, MapQuest or google maps (don't remember which) used to have some joke directions for travel between continents where the driving directions would literally include something like "jet ski accross the Atlantic Ocean for 850 miles".
hockeyjim07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean this is totally possible. If a person can swim the english channel a jet ski could surely cross an ocean given that a boat were following with fuel and they had the proper safety precautions in place to abort if need be.
It's certainly possible
Damon_Bolden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you're awesome
Hates_escalators ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can go anywhere on a jet ski if you're brave enough.
derleth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:36 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but why a Pole would be in Africa is beyond me.
LeftyDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure you can. Presuming you had enough fuel and such.....yet I bet the engine would die before you made it half way. That would be a hell of a trip in the Atlantic.
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt the jet ski could actually tow enough fuel to make the trip.
jetski15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I don't give rides that far.
Nell_Trent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should start a go-fund-me to get that kid a jet ski.
NiceSasquatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was on a cruise through the Caribbean, and the ship stopped to pick up two guys on jet skis (out in the middle of the ocean). they had several extra lawnmower type gas tanks with them, and had traveled from Cuba.
mendel42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you CAN...It would take a lot of money, refueling ships, towing a huge container of food, tools for repair...
...OK, you can't.
thruthewindowBN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a stunt that Red Bull should sponsor. I mean they had a guy jump from the friggin stratosphere. Is a transatlantic jet ski trip too much to ask?
LegendOfPublo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
BeerManBran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can if it don't rain!
mrflippant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I'm sure somebody might be crazy enough to try...
reagan-nomics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They've probably only seen Africa on those big school maps. A good time for a geography lesson.
Also - No.
Shadowwolfe96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question, that's the kind of an explorer...or suicidal maniac...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/2060709.stm
dwmfives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With really good luck and a lot of support, sure.
CaptainMallard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this a joke from the inbetweeners?
"On holiday in Spain one year, me and my mate took a pedalo out and went to Africa"
jrcanuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Towing a tanker of fuel, yes you can.
SecretPotatoChip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With enough fuel
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, if you've got enough fuel.
nicorns_are_real ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chuck Norris can
kamookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if your name is Jeff Probst
Not_creative_fun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno. I think that one is reasonable. Africa and America seem kind of close around Brazil. How far can jet ski's go? I dunno, maybe they can hold enough gas to make it that far. I dunno.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well in the winter you could go over the frozen ice into Russia where you could ride all the way down to the Middle East where I'm pretty sure there is a crossing into Africa
Varboa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't sound that stupid XD if I didn't know how big the ocean was, and I wanted to push the limits of a jet ski then yeah
ChickenMaster72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl in detention with me, back in high-school, insist that she was going to drive to Italy from the US. We pulled the map down at the front of the class and pointed out the large body of water that's in the way... She showed us her planned route, taking her north through Canada and then up over the margin of the map and then south through Europe. No amount of convincing could sway her. Thankfully I don't think she was ever able to get a license though.
broadsheetvstabloid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or if you have ship with lots of extra fuel and food follow you so you can refuel and eat and sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically yes....
You could fashion a little sort of "jet ski trailer" (a towable raft) to tow behind you with food, water, fuel, and a place to sleep. You'd also need to coordinate with other boats to have extra supplies waiting for you on your route. Sleeping would be tough, but you could manage.
The hardest part would be dealing with weather and ocean currents.
It'd take a few weeks to do, but a group has successfully rowed from South Africa to Miami before, so if they could do it a jet-ski could. It took them 5 months to row it though.
One other thing you'd need is testicles the size of the Titanic.
strangea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically yes, if you had the proper provisions and support. Not really a dumb question, imo.
fe360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you really wanted to...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you bring enough gas and food yeah... You'll need to pull a floating trailer to carry it all though...
Brb testing a hypothesis.
The7Reaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a little side note, Maine is the closest state to Africa, knowledge is power!
AcceleratedDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone actually tried to get to the Bahamas from Miami on a Jet ski.
Spoiler: he didn't make it.
inclination64609 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are probably asking because of Google maps. There's a couple routes that if it crosses a large body of water it will say, "drive from a to b. Jetski from b to c..."
There was one either from the USA to Japan or Japan to mainland China. But iirc there was a couple that do it.
ModsDontLift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAY FROM YOOOUUUU
MyriadMuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google maps probably says you can.
My_name_isOzymandias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we can probably blame Google maps for this question.
Luis_Leon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this question for some reason. So let's assume that the North Atlantic Ocean is calm and smooth all the way between New York and the West African Coast (it isn't). Let's also assume the operator of the jet ski doesn't have to sleep or eat/drink or eliminate waste. Using nice round numbers, the distance is ~4500 miles and the top reported speed of a jet ski is ~80mph. 4500 รท 80 = 56.25 hours. Is it possible? Technically maybe. Is it plausible? Definitively nope.
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not, but you can try.
TrolledByDestiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be fucking scary all alone in the ocean in a jet ski in pitch darkness
Litmusdragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't stop laughing at this one. I mean, it's kind of feasible right? if it were some super-fast jetski from the future or something.
improbable_humanoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't want to even if you had the range. Even a 30-minute ride on a glass-smooth lake is torture.
Hohst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that dumb of a question, IMO. More of a hypothetical. Something you would come across in an xkcd book... Now I'm interested.
Sooo... I think the only limiting factor would be fuel efficiency. The shortest distance from the US to Africa is 3,154 miles: Maine to Morocco. This also happens to coincide with the gulf stream for a large part, so you've got that going for you. But let's round that up to 3,500, because I don't know anything about currents or boating and I like to err on the side of caution. The average reasonably efficient speed of a jet ski seems to be 50mph, and from my meager research I've seen that 80 miles per fuel tank can be reasonably expected. Now, 3,500miles/50mph = 70 hours. Which is about three days. Let's say you're a bit daft and don't go the right way all the time, or the height difference in waves slows you down. Also, you'll probably need some sleep. Let's make it five. While I wouldn't recommend anyone doing it for fun, it certainly seems possible to survive five days on sea, given some preparation. The real problem is basically the spacecraft problem: How much fuel do you have to carry to propel the fuel you have to carry to propel yourself? Answer: A metric shitton. With a fuel efficiency of around 6 miles per gallon, you're looking at chugging along 583 extra gallons, to the weight of around 4000 pounds, just to propel yourself and the jetski! Too bad. But if you've got friends along the way (or happen to find a hydrogen fueled jetski) it certainly could be doable.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah. It's possible. Just not a good idea.
JayNotAtAll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean you could....
knock_out123 ยท 2770 points ยท Posted at 13:58:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I once heard a student say "you actually believe in evolution? So you think monkeys just decided not to turn into people?" to another student and the teacher basically looked into the camera like he was on the office, so to speak.
andrewbevelhymer ยท 1101 points ยท Posted at 16:13:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "I don't actually understand evolution but clearly it can't be true" starter pack.
Ekanselttar ยท 317 points ยท Posted at 17:36:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Along with, "If people came monkeys, why are there still monkeys?" to which I reply, "If Americans came from Europeans, why are there still Europeans?"
mygawd ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 19:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what you're saying is, God created Americans as they are and Europeans are a separate species?
jusumonkey ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:38:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wouldn't be a metaphor without technical differences.
B0rax ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:28:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly: the americans became rounder
zxzxzxzxzxzz ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:12:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, also, Americans are the chosen race not the Jews.
Warpato ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 21:06:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa dont put that evil on us. Being the chosen ones has not worked out well for them.
Pure_Reason ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:11:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately for them, they were just chosen for crappy stuff
frankieisbestcat ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 19:49:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was once one of those people who asked this same question. I am better now. The people that helped the most were the ones that were nice to me even though I was steeped in a cult. The ones that asked me logical questions back helped too. It is hard.
kjata ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:21:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be closer to say "If Americans came from Europe, then why are there still Australians?", but not as illustrative for the kind of people who ask questions like that.
JPOnion ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?
Rockburgh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:53:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...that is a really good response. Never heard that one before, will steal.
zenophobicgoat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:54:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait, so Europeans don't exist?"
BestFriendHasLeprosy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:50:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You're a peein'!"
HereHoldMyBeer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:58:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leave the president out of this.
TransitRanger_327 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:07:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Argument from Incredulity
RadarLakeKosh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:31:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really makes God look bad from the POV of someone who be believes in both God and evolution.
eljefino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it took a length of time for lifeforms to form the sophistication, ability & intelligence to philosophize, there wasn't anyone there to care about time and record its passing. So it zeros itself out.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU THINK DOGS EVOLVED FROM ROCKS YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT AN INVISIBLE MAN MADE THEM ALL
Pure_Reason ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:12:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YES I SAID AN INVISIBLE MAN AND HE LOVES ME. HES INSIDE ME RIGHT NOW AND HE CAN BE INSIDE YOU TOO. WANT TO SING A SONG ABOUT IT?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:06:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HE'S INSIDE YOU? IS HE COMING?
Pure_Reason ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He already came once, now I'm just waiting on the second coming. He never gives you more than you can handle. (I was raised evangelical Christian, I can do this all day)
IndonesianGuy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:32:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[Smirks in Jew]
Camorune ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:26:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/starterpacks
stackered ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:57:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the born down south starter pack
RabidSeason ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't understand evolution, and I need to protect my kids from understanding it!" - Futurama
RUST_LIFE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand evolution deniers. Pretty obvious if you do the smallest amount of research. And looking it up in the bible doesn't count
Mikulak25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we came from monkeys why are there still monkeys
computeraddict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Though it's pretty clear that most of the people that believe in evolution also have no idea how it works beyond the 30-second explanation.
staticsnake ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, people who mock religion do the same thing: "I don't understand it so therefore it must be stupid."
severoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What.
eljefino ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:05:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science is a religion and it's frustrating when a scientist denies it. But they have a grand book of rules (scientific method) that explains how they get there, and if someone practices science without following every. one. of. those. rules they get ostracized by their peers and "kicked out of the church." The punchline, when you ask for proof, they either say you have to have faith in the methodology like all the other peers who review the work or, like anything in this universe, it's not ironclad-- it's just a theory.
severoon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science is not religion. Science is a means of allowing everyone to make reliable predictions.
Predictive power is what makes science science. It can predict things.
You are under the misapprehension that the purpose of science is to explain things (as religion claims to do, or astrology, etc). That is something that science incidentally happens to do from time to time at a certain level, but it is not the point, it is just a nice side benefit when it happens. But the failure of science to explain everything all the time does not in any way undermine it, as that is not the point of it.
But remember, the main thing that science lets us do, its defining feature, is that we can make predictions about how things will go if we set them up in this or that particular way.
isurvivedrabies ยท -39 points ยท Posted at 19:13:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lets be honest here, evolution is just the most plausible theory right now, theres still half-assedly explained gaps that can surely cause some confusion in people who arent trained to accept it. i mean thats really what it is, youre just trained to believe it
hamildub ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:41:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me google that for you.
The basicย theory of evolution: the process by which organisms change over time as a result of changes in heritable physical or behavioral traits.
Common misconceptions on evolution: http://evolution.berkeley.edu/evolibrary/misconceptions_teacherfaq.php
Warpato ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:06:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go easy on the guy its probably b/c of the rabies.
isurvivedrabies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
okay i dont fully stand by my comment here since i left out the alien-human hybrid missing link...that kinda plugs the gap for evolutionary science
you think that different human races are the result of different alien races breeding with earths natural primates?? like word on the street is that aliens are high tech and all but lack emotion and the life experience it brings so thats why they started doing that shit??
hamildub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm drugs are bad mmmkayyy
redminx17 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:58:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So close and yet so far. Consider this; you've been "trained to believe" that 2 + 2 = 4. The fact that you were explicitly taught it by someone doesn't make it less true. The same goes for understanding scientific theory (which is not the same as hypothesis) and empiricism. Yes, we have to be trained in understanding scientific theory, the scientific method used in studies, and empirical evidence. That doesn't mean we "believe" them like a religion, it means we were taught about rigorous science just like we were taught that 2 + 2 = 4. And the theory of evolution is rigorous science with overwhelming empirical evidence backing it up. It's intellectually dishonest to frame an understanding of that as "belief".
Aroha11 ยท 442 points ยท Posted at 14:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should answer that one day in the past grey wolves decided (I guess democratically voted) to turn into dachshunds and chichuauas :-)
Fiyero109 ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 15:56:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I giggled at reading "chi-chua-uas"
salty_box ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 17:37:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once heard someone call them "chica-wow-wahs" on a serious conversation.
Override9636 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:01:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bow-chica-wow-wahhhs
Aroha11 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:01:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, there is always one letter too many in this word :-D
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:24:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's OK to misspell it, they aren't really dogs anyway. Ankle biting little fuckers.
jaymzx0 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:12:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Punting dogs"
dancingliondl ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:33:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shiver Rats
LaWu ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:23:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hawk food.
mortiphago ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:07:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah yes, it was a wednesday if I recall
Dustin_00 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:08:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I'd been there for the discussion.
The scene: 20 grey wolves sitting in a circle, 10 of them glaring at the other 10.
A: If we want to be Labradors, why should you get to stop us?
B: It's not right! We've always been wolves.
A: Well, you go do that, we're moving in with the monkeys.
C: Yeah, and I wanna be a Teacup Saint Bernard!
All the others: NO!
Aroha11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:-D
Dreamcast3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:29:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
some wolves decided to turn into humans and that's how furries came about
GeneralDogsbody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*wolves
Aroha11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
corrected :-)
melburns86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*woofs
jammerjoint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're pretty much the same species though...
ThePu55yDestr0yr ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:45:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't blame the student, rather the bad parenting.
TheNessLink ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:50:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i do that every day
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 15:03:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those monkeys made a good choice
Duncan_gholas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:38 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah like obviously it's ridiculous thing to say. But, in some ways it's exactly what happened. Monkeys getting mutations and other monkey making the good choices to breed with them is exactly where humans came from.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:25:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think a lot of kids just think it works like Pokemon, where the same individual transforms. Explaining the involvement of death is the key.
ThermoPacMan ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:20:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my mates have a habit of looking at each other like we're the camera in the Office. It makes everything a hundred times funnier.
dancingliondl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I do it for the alien audience. They love it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:08:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll never get cancelled now! Good work
Lyonbane ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:55:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least 70% of my country (Turkey) thinks like that. Oh sweet religion..
saggy_balls ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:37:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it wasn't that easy. In the beginning, we were all fish. Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands... and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something...
underthehedgewego ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 15:41:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The student has a lot of company in his mistaken beliefs; over 40% of Americans believe humans were created as they are some time in the not too distant pass. Less than a quarter of Americans accept that animals evolved form common ancestors without the intervention of a supreme being (and people wonder how Trump could be elected president).
probablyhrenrai ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:38:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally can't imagine that 3/4 of the US doesn't think evolution is natural; not meaning to be a dick, but can I get a source on that? Those numbers just sound crazy to me.
AtleeH ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem generally occurs due to a misunderstanding of the difference between evolution and adaption.
galacticboy2009 ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 18:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Macro evolution and micro evolution.
I choose micro as the truth because it can be observed, however macro evolution cannot be.
nikdahl ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:25:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But macro is simply micro extrapolated
galacticboy2009 ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 18:43:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A thousand little changes make a big change?
AKA butterflies/dogs/cats changing color and size to match the environment, a lot, eventually becoming a completely unrecognizable creature.
Maybe so. But the mechanisms involved that would take a fish to a cat, or a bacteria to a fish, are quite advanced and definitely aren't understood or observable as of yet.
Because they take forever, if they happen.
Keep in mind I have no degree in any of this, so if I'm wrong feel free to inform.
heywire84 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:28:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is exactly what happens. The first life on Earth were single celled organisms. Fossils and other evidence for single celled organisms appear to come from about 3.5 to 4 billion years ago. Multicellular life doesn't evolve to become common on Earth until 2 billion years later, around 1.5 billion years ago. Life doesn't emerge from the oceans until 450 million years ago. There were no trees before 300 million years ago and no flowers until 160 million years ago.
Evolution doesn't need to move in great leaps like fish to cat. It is an accumulation of many many very small and sometimes insignificant changes over very long timescales. A fish from a particular species evolves the ability to breath air for a very short time, which makes it passes on to its offspring. The old species does not disappear. That air breathing fish goes on to evolve the ability to move its fins in certain ways that make it easier to move around in the shallow water where it lives. It passes that onto its offspring. The species of fish which breaths water only and has regular fins does not disappear. This fish which can breath some air and move around a bit in shallow water keeps having offspring which have some more small mutations which let it breath air better, maybe the fins change shape to be a bit longer, some mutations make it less prone to drying out. All the while, the old species continues living on in the water.
Eventually, over the course of thousands and millions of years, this fish starts looking and acting a whole bunch like a salamander. We still have some of those species on Earth today. Mudskippers and lungfish share a common ancestor with the same animals who also evolved into amphibians like frogs and salamanders. We have examples of countless other "missing links" in evolution.
There is a crazy amount of evidence for evolution. If you're interested, start here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_history_of_life
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:59:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're no more advanced than people not growing wisdom teeth. It's just that happening millions of times over billions of years. What's unbelievable about that?
wu2ad ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:42:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, they take millions and in some cases, billions of years. How old do you think the earth is?
melburns86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2017 years. Duh.
Alched ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand your reasoning, granted I'm a bit high, about the mechanisms not being understood if you just described how the little changes can change one organism into the other. Evolution has no direction, it's how you said micro-changes which are the result of a changing environment, killing of those not capable of surviving, "survival of the fittest." I believe something like 99 percent of all species on this earth have gone extinct. All the creature you see are descendants of species able to somehow survive, maybe even from a single species, so far back. A fish and cat are two organisms that most likely shared a common ancestor, but it looked and behaved like neither.
Now the process of how a chicken descended from dinosaurs can be seen as quite complex to understand it all, but we don't need to. We more or less understand the mechanism it's "evolution" of a population, through these small "adaptations," like you mentioned.
We are able to come up with acceptable theories, based on fossil records, and genetic testing. For example, growing teeth on a beak. Sure scientist make mistakes, politics and even corruptions is present in many fields, but with this issue, peer review leads us to a good enough consensus, and this is how our knowledge and understanding grows. Just look at how paleontologist are discovering dinosaurs with feathers, after we accepted birds to be descendants of dinosaurs, ever so closing the fossil record.
Orisara ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, yes, that's what happens. It's that simple.
But just in case.
Remember that we are a product of our DNA.
Very simplified. Let's say that a human is,
ABCD.
Now. A monkey might be.
ABCC
etc.
Now you know mutations happen in our DNA.
Over time a wolf who was AABB changed into AABC, a dog.
The only way from this point forward evolution is not true is if there is a mechanism in our DNA preventing certain things to mutate.
The amount of birth defects should tell you this is sadly not the case.
The_Observer_09 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:19:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an American, I'd be surprised if even a quarter of the population knew the correct definition of a scientific theory much less accepted the theory of evolution by means of natural selection.
melburns86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right. I was raised Catholic and I believe evolution and science over religion every time.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:01:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's always that one guy...
LostGundyr ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no speaking to people like that. Even if you tried to explain, they wouldn't be smart enough to understand.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, dude. These people are mostly ignorant, not stupid.
LostGundyr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:08:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But they also don't WANT to be proven wrong. And therein lies the issue. They're actively making themselves ignore substantial evidence of one of the most widely accepted theories in existence because they're too uncomfortable with the idea of death, and don't want to accept that there's no reason to be alive. Edit: Because if they accept evolution, they kind of have to believe there isn't a god. (That's their thought process, it seems to be.) And if there is no God, then all the things I just said apply. And they don't want it to be true.
entenkin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just kids repeating what their parents say.
rocco25 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
even sadder when a lot of adults use this exact argument.
hitzchicky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad asked me this past weekend if I really thought humans came from Monkeys. I couldn't believe it, he's a smart guy. He just didn't understand the concept of a common ancestor. I'm still not sure he really got it. I think he just took my word for it that it was true.
intensely_human ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:49:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the teacher looked you in the eye?
Looking in the camera is to give the audience the sensation of someone shooting you a look.
Pro_Scrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/youseeingthisshit
Bgwd052792 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What camera....?
ViciousKnids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a college professor heckle me for "believing in evolution." And few other students in the class thought I was nuts. So I spent a good 30 minutes of a 90 minute class explaining how evolution works, how we have genetic and fossil evidence to support it, how it's the reason we need new flu shots every year, and how it takes a LONG time for larger organisms. To half the class and my professor.
A fellow students then tried to say "dandelions have more genes than us, and they're still plants. Explain that!"
Sequence of genes. That's how.
Mal-Capone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Face: :T
Merkuri22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of the time we went to see my uncle in Inherit the Wind ). At intermission, my aunt came up to me and said, "So, what's with this evolution thing? It's not real, right? I mean, God created the earth in seven days."
My mouth dropped open, I kinda stammered around a little. I knew the play already - had to read it in school and loved it - so I tried awkwardly to explain the argument about how seven "days" might not have actually been "days" but the room was loud and she just gave me this deer-in-the-headlights stare. Eventually I just said, "Oh, just watch the rest of the play, already!"
She didn't come talk to me about it afterwards, so I don't know if she "got" it or not.
elkabongg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
props to the teacher's reaction
lyszisit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
JIM
Iksuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to know how many people who don't "believe" in evolution actually think that, but I think it would be distressing.
nerowasframed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell if that's a step better or a step worse than, "if evolution is true and we all evolved from monkeys, then went do monkeys still exist right now?"
Mithrandir_Earendur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You all laugh but when I was in middle school, I was talking to a friend about how I don't go to church. Somehow evolution got into the mix and he exclaimed "So you believe we came from monkeys?!" and they entire class laughed. I felt so humiliated, yet oddly surprised and horrified. It was in UT so it's probably a little understandable, but still...
JayNotAtAll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up in a very religious household and was in church and Protestant schools. I get where this kid is coming from. There is a ton of misinformation about evolution being tossed around in church circles.
The_Astronautt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love feeling like im in the office irl. Somehow just makes things funnier like a little game. I pull harmless pranks on my coworkers all the time.
HomeyHotDog ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:36:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love the office reference
Gorgenapper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:19:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to think of evolution as a suggestion.
aManPerson ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:16:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
being brought up in a christian household, at one point, that's what i thought it was. "the animals just thought about being different, that's stupid"..........glad i know better.
Sieberella ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 15:33:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were getting ready for a field trip in a class of about twenty. I make the announcement "we're leaving in about ten minutes - go to the bathroom, fill up your water bottles..."
Everyone is getting ready and standing around and one of my students comes up to me in a panic "excuse me, excuse me! Have we left yet?"
We all look around at everyone standing by the door or by their desks.
"No. No I don't think we've left yet." Good grief!
bioflamodeed ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 17:44:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When reading, "go to the bathroom, fill up your water bottles..." I instantly feared that a student might have filled their water bottle with water from the toilet bowl.
Furt77 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 19:34:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just stood there and peed into it.
aussie-vault-girl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:52:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly what I thought
pizzafourlife ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:17:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same
Radical-Centrist ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 15:06:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was a little kid my teacher said "x is the greatest invention since the wheel"
and I asked "whats the wheel" he got really mad and shouted at me for a while because he thought I was taking the piss
I knew what a wheel was but the way he said it just didn't register to my kiddy brain and I instantly assumed he was talking about some completely different thing also called "the wheel"
polarity30 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:10:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we have a time keeping program for attorneys called 'The Wheel', so you can ring that dude up and scream at him now.
Furt77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WonderWheel - the greatest invention of all time!
welcome_to_the_creek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until it dies right in Jack's arms while he's pleading for it to be OK.
zorbtrauts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could totally see myself doing the same thing.
ThePancakeChair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:47 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one I understand. It's easy for a kid to not think of a wheel as an invented object, but instead just a given shape. Kids don't always easily grasp the idea of the invention of abstract designs. Instead, "invention" might more generally be associated with machinery or semi-complex devices than with the application of a known shape/object.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that dumb at all, it's easy to see how you'd be confused.
Ianskull ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:08:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's pretty dumb
litlblkbook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:13 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were at the county fair one year and my son, who was 4 or 5 at the time was watching some 4-H kids herding their show pigs around the arena. They were using these little whips to help steer the pigs. My son asked me what they had in their hands. I told him they were pig whips to which he asked "whats a pig?" We all laughed and so did he, like oh my god! I know what a pig is! Just in a context it sounded like something else.
thespacegrape ยท 1594 points ยท Posted at 14:46:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid in my 10th grade biology class takes the cake for me. We were going over chromosomes, talking about the effects of an extra chromosome (Down syndrome), and this kid looks confused as hell, gears turning like mad in his head. Finally he raises his hand.
"With the extra chromosome... shouldn't they be, like... superheroes?"
enviose ยท 285 points ยท Posted at 15:42:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this one
Alarid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:33:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it happened in the Doom movie, right?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:29:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl who sat next to me in grade 9 biology class made this exact comment when we were talking about downs syndrome.
I just... I snapped that day.
SpecificallyGeneral ยท 257 points ยท Posted at 16:13:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw. Kinda, little buddy. Y'know how there's a lot of B-class superheroes in Marvel? Like that guy with the spikes? Well, the real world isn't quite as kind as Stan Lee. There are a lot of unfavourable mutations - like people with congenital heart damage.
We just... do our best to help.
Hates_escalators ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 18:00:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or that guy that can explode, but he doesn't have the power to survive said explosion.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:29:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BOOMER!
ZaydSophos ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:59:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if I'd prefer no power so I don't have to feel bad about such a bad power or I'd feel like it's cool that if I REALLY hate someone I can use my one chance to self destruct. Or I guess saving people with it at one point might be cool too.
tylerchu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aloha Snackbar?
adelaide129 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
do you mean penance? i love that guy!
SpecificallyGeneral ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:30:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't recall the guy's name. Just that he had fragile spikes all over - kind of a nuisance. Maybe he was just unnamed.
adelaide129 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:50:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah no, penance you'd remember 'cause he was part of that teen squad that caused the explosion that helped set off the civil war.
re_flex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't his original name speedball before the civil war event?
adelaide129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
something like that. i think he's able to make kinetic fields, or some marvelley scientish nonsense.
elninofamoso ยท 312 points ยท Posted at 16:18:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you think about it from an other perspective. If you didn't already went over the function and all that of chromosomes this might not even be that dumb of a question why an extra chromosome isnt actually something benefical for you. Sure it's a bit strangely formulated, but the question why or what makes the extra chromosome give you a disability instead of a positiv effect isn't that stupid.
Fa6ade ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 16:44:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. This isn't a stupid question at all.
Karmasmatik ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:51:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah if you're in advanced Bio for science majors this would count as a dumb question, for a 10th grader getting an introduction to the subject it seems like a perfectly reasonable question.
PM_ME_UR_REDDIT_GOLD ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:11:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know about that. I have my PhD in chemistry, and while I didn't focus on biochem I did take a couple biochem courses so have better then average knowledge of how molecular biology and the chemistry of genetics works (not as much as an expert of course, but at least on par with "Bio for science majors"). I have no clue why an extra chromosome is a problem.
Karmasmatik ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:25:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheers. Neither do I. I'm pretty sure I learned at some point that plant DNA is somehow more forgiving of chromosomes being added/subtracted. Now that I think about it that might just be because we can't diagnose Down Syndrome in trees...
I_AM_CALAMITY ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:17:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At all?
Fa6ade ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 18:25:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. The kid was just trying to articulate that adding an extra chromosome would add extra capabilities. I don't think it should be taken literally. At most it's a silly question but not a stupid one in the slightest.
Mnstrzero00 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:53:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean there are plenty of superheroes whose power is just super intelligence. And some people onnthe autism spectrum have an ability to easily learn and conceptualize very complex mental tasks.
Geotan00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's important to point out that if autism was due to an extra or missing chromosome we would know. No one is sure what causes it, and we know how to see how many chromosomes people have.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 16:21:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, that's not a bad question. We are taught that every chromosome controls a trait or whatever, so if the teacher doesn't go into detail, any kid would think that an extra chromosome would mean extra traits or more info for the cellular apparatus to work on or whatever. Well, not superpowers, but yeah. Source: am a 10th grader who had this question at the beginning of the chapter
Andjhostet ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I blame Twilight for this one. The explanation in the books for why the vampires had superpowers was that they had 2 extra chromosomes.
username_lookup_fail ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:26:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just when I thought Twilight couldn't possibly be any worse..
JapaneseStudentHaru ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:33:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously? Lol
KamuiT ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 18:39:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it explains why the books are retarded.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. I will take my downvotes like a man.
mistaque ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:59:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So when Edward kept staring at Bella, it wasn't just because he liked her.
BuddhasPalm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:09:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Downvotes?! I do apologize, I have but one upvote to give, good redditor!
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:38 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So when they bite humans those humans gain 2 extra chromosomes?
Do they have a similar explanation for werewolves?
What happens if one of those two races bites someone with Down's syndrome?
_lost_ ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:59:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From what I've read on Reddit you'd get super strength plus be super happy.
rahyveshachr ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:52:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in my biology class noticed that the double helix on DNA rotates a certain direction. He (JOKINGLY) asked if it went the other way does that mean the kid has Down syndrome.
So apparently my sister's DNA rotates the opposite way.
jay227ify ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:53:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a twist!
rahyveshachr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
take my upvote and leave!
jay227ify ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dont be so twisted.
UrethraX ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 16:09:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, they're often dressed as superheroes
PaulMcGannsShoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha holy fuck i feel awful for laughing at this
password55 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:40:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And often have almost superhuman strength full retard strength
LilPad93 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:03:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your heart was there, your PC was not lol.
Stealthy_Totoro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:18:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
ElagabalusRex ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:31:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's right, you know.
TravisGoraczkowski ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:30:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this too when I was in Middle school (12ish years old) I actually didn't think it was possible to have an extra one, but if somebody ever did, that's what would happen.
To most kids "more" almost always equals better. So having more chromosomes sounds like you'll get super brain powers or something. Not really a superhero, but maybe super smart. My teacher pretty quickly cleared it up though. 10th grade is a bit late to learn that haha.
NiceGuy60660 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:22:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isnt that a question every scientist should ask? What about idiot savants?
(Not judging your enjoyable post; just thinking aloud)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TrueAimGamer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:28 on February 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they get retard strength.
Late to the party but it was my first thought reading this haha
name3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well..... should they?
AdasMom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are.
donteatmenooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like the X-gene!
gamesthatown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah was gonna post this same story.
Wouldn't happen to be at Gilbert would it?
harrpii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well with, I mean I'm not expert but if you added the right genes to a human it could certainly quick them extra functions but not quite superpowers.
Dustin_00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More chromosomes! It's what
plantshumans need!Branch3s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retard strength
AuthorWho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's to say they are not?
BilboT3aBagginz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a perfect world. sigh
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid's been reading too many comics.
ThePancakeChair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:14 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Incredibles --> Syndrome ("superhero") = connection made
Erisianistic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:46:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I R HELMET MAN!
(I'm sorry, this one offended me a little, even. But yeah, I still posted it. I'm... not always a good person)
JapaneseStudentHaru ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:33:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a feel good tumblr post lol
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:15:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And you explained retard strength, right?
bitcornonthecob ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 15:13:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school:
Me: "Please sign the attendance sheet, next to your name. Then, pass it along.
(A couple minutes later).
Student calls out:" Everybody's writing letters next to their name! How am I supposed to know what letters to write".
Other student: "Your name! Everyone's writing their names."
smuffleupagus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:30:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nowadays I've noticed that because they don't teach cursive anymore, lots of kids don't know how to do a proper signature.
Stewbodies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They taught cursive at one point in elementary school. I got behind and never ended up catching up, and they stopped the lessons after not too long. Sometimes I have to sign both my signature and my printed name, and it'll look the same in both cases. Occasionally I'll make the "signature" one look more sloppy and connected so it doesn't look like it's the same, but it really is.
gino188 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
daaaaaamn.
evan24jg ยท 627 points ยท Posted at 13:51:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, we were assigned class work in a computer class and another classmate asked if we had to do the class work. The teacher responded: "You know how at the beginning of the course I said there was no such thing as a stupid question? Thats a stupid question."
malonkey1 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:46:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then the student was excused to the nurse's office to get that burn treated.
Connor24601 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:33:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite saying I've heard: "there are no stupid questions, only stupid people."
RachelAS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:51:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asked the same thing in one of my intro bio classes. The prof said, "You don't have to. You'll get a zero, but you don't HAVE to."
KrackerJoe ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 14:19:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was in class with someone who asked a really stupid question. This one girl in my physical science class asked why we tore down the 'land bridge' that allowed ancient peoples to travel to America.
sellasbot ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 16:42:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To stop illegal immigrants, duh.
Nobodygrotesque ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:43:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TOOK ER JERBS!!
goldmage263 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:53:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, because then they could use boats. That's why we need a wall; that'll stop them good.
Polite_Werewolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, Trump!
BattleBoltZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And how did that work out for them?
C-scan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheaper than building a wall, I guess...
Xtravagance ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 15:33:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my professors at my university were showing a picture of the United States and one of his students asked him "How do people climb those big walls that go around every state?" He had to explain that they were just showing where the state borders are on the map.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:13:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
michaelrohansmith ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:12:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't give him ideas.
quantasmm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WOW
UnskippableCutscene ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 16:47:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents used to teach identical 6th grade science curriculum at two different schools and grade papers at home together. They would read the dumbest answers aloud, one-upping each other until they had a winner. The only answer I remember clearly was to the question, "What is the smallest thing in the universe?" One kid answered, "About the size of two potatoes."
frenchtoast201 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:24:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah. What would be smaller than two potatoes? One potato? Ha, as if.
TokyoJokeyo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:53:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously two potatoes have to be smaller than one potato, because of conservation of potato.
Campbell_Jin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:21:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of a question is "what is the smallest thing in the universe"? What even was the correct answer, this is 6th grade, right?
mrchimmie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:56 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An atom? I mean... They teach science... not too hard
Campbell_Jin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:55 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok, that makes sense for 6th grade. I didn't know what I was expecting(probably "atom"), I don't even remember learning much science in 6th grade...
soberdude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:02:01 on April 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consider the size of two potatoes, then the size of the universe.
Now consider the size of an atom. Wouldn't two potatoes be ABOUT as small as an atom when compared to the entire universe?
...
...
...
No, they wouldn't be. But they would be if you were high.
bitcornonthecob ยท 243 points ยท Posted at 15:10:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If you drink too much Gatorade and fill up to here (points at throat), do you drown?"
"You know there's stuff in your body and you're not just a hollow tank, right?"
Culinarytracker ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:50:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember thinking that if I cut my foot and kept bleeding I'd end up just being an empty pile of skin on the ground.
ld4484 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:11:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i used to think that food went to your feet and built up...
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:20:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bitcornonthecob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:39 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:45:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you aren't a teacher, misusing apostrophes like that...
bitcornonthecob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:17 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn autocorrect making me look dumb.... Edited.
gizmothetwotoncat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what they thought surgeons did.
Smokeylongred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why Gatorade as an example??
bitcornonthecob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:24 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure what was going on in her head.
weezer0321 ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 15:52:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question, but an answer to a question. I was teaching a World History course to 10th graders and asked the question "What does A.D. mean?" A couple kids took a shot, but were wrong, and a girl who fit the absolute text book definition of a stereotypical cheerleader raised her hand and answered as confidently as someone would answer that the sky is blue or grass is green with, "After dinosaurs."
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:31:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
weezer0321 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately Noah couldn't get them on the boat.
gino188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The people that run the creationist music want to have a word with you about your mistake... no..seriously...look it up and be shocked.
tenjuu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:43:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the longest time I thought BC stood for "before christ" and AD meant "after (his) death." And we just didn't keep track of the years while he was moseing around turning stuff into other things, 'cause people were too busy getting down on all the wine, fish and bread he was handing out. Learned the truth in middle school but i'll be damned if I could remember what they actually stand for at 36. :| off to the googlesphere! Oh, and i'm gonna do my own FTFY and say, mosesing
EmeraldFlight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:09:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's... accurate
Hence the new, nonreligious terms "BCE" and "CE," which are "Before the Common Era" and "the Common Era." Still focusing around the year Jesus was purportedly born, of course, but rebranded
FrisianDude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:45:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it isn't accurate. AD should then mean after his dirth or something. LIke most of Tenjuu's post implies- else you have a jesus-sized gap in history. AD means Anno Domini
EmeraldFlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, the dates are wrong. I never said the dates weren't wrong. It's common knowledge that there's like a six-year gap or whatever
FrisianDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
unless dude was crucified as a six year old - still no.
EmeraldFlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:35 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was born sometimg around 6 AD, is the general concensus. Then, there's the 30-year gap of his life that's still unaccounted for
I'm agreeing that it's fucky
ethereal_gore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first time I've learned BC and AD changed.
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AD stands for Anno Domini, "in the year of the lord", and starts at Jesus's birth. I can never remember what BC stands for, though.
Migmatite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:07:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up, I never heard of BC or AD. My mother wasn't a Christian and didn't want to have the who is Jesus talk with us, so it was always referred to as BCE or CE in my house. When I took World History in high school, I was confused as to what people were talking about when they were saying AD and BC, but I was too shy to speak up and ask. It wasn't until I was fustrated with homework did I go ask my mother who simply told me that it was the Christian way of telling time, when I asked her why, she just shrugged.
holdmywineglass ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:23:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, she's not wrong.
notawalkeryet ยท 619 points ยท Posted at 14:11:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my stepmother was. 3rd grader asked her if there was really a president named Harry Balls. Poor kid got punked hard on that one. We still laugh about it.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:10:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fort Wayne, IN had a mayor named Harry Baals (I think that's how it's spelled). There is even a Harry Baals Memorial Drive.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:15:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They had to rename the street H. W. Baals memorial drive because the sign for it got stolen so much.
BlackGhostPanda ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:15:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair there isn't shit to do here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Truth
SJHillman ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:24:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was probably thinking of Harry Baals. Although he was only a mayor, his name is pretty well known because it does sound like Hairy Balls. And I can see a third grader easily conflating offices like mayor, governor and president. The kid was closer to right than most people probably gave him credit for.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Baals
GaimanitePkat ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:45:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my middle/high school, there was a substitute teacher called Mr. W. His real last name was Wiener, as confirmed by many students who had looked at his substitute badge. So of course the rumor was that his first name was Harry.
molotok_c_518 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:14:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We actually had a high school English teacher named Harry Dick Weiner. He would announce it loudly at the start of every quarter, just so kids would get the giggles out of their system.
I'd link his Rate My Teacher page if I didn't think it would violate a Reddit policy or two, but it's the first result when you google the name.
Mal-of-the-firefly ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:18:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His parents were the real dick in that situation.
MYthology951 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:05:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a substitute teacher with the last name DeCocker. Nice guy, but the kids had a field day with it.
FrostyBeav ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:35:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There used to be an American football player named Harry Colon. My inner middle schooler always got a chuckle out of that one.
The_Dirtiest_Doc ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:15:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I think he was a governor or mayor. Apparently a good one too
AcidicOpulence ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There IS a politician in the UK called Ed Balls.
Strawzzboy64 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's tru, man.
NormalNormalNormal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was thinking of Hairy Ass Truman?
capncrooked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He went by Harold.
Alpha_Lantern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i had to look that one up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but there was a mayor of Indiana called Harry Baals
ogHEATHEN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one made me laugh the hardest hahaha
mygawd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did have a teacher named Harry Ball. This was in middle school, poor guy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't blame the kid. I mean, if a cat can be president, why can't a pair of testicles?
beleeze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK we have a politician called Ed Balls
Holociraptor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's got to be accent based.
BigDisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't leave us hanging, dude! Was there?
Also, #DeezNuts2020
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a guy named Harry Balls. Well, his last name was really Biles. But we called him Harry Balls. That counts, right?
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hairy True Man.
Getmo_ritz ยท 655 points ยท Posted at 14:55:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I had a girl in a few of my classes in highschool that had some real "wtf?" moments. 1. She once asked our geography teacher how the water got back to the top of a waterfall. 2. When overhearing my friend getting scolded for smoking the teacher had said that his father quit cold turkey. She asked him how his father got addicted to turkey in the first place. 3. In history we were being taught about corporal punishment and the term lashes came up. She didn't understand what was so severe about eye lashes being pulled out.
She was pretty hot.
anschelsc ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 16:18:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, a complete understanding of this question arguably requires some serious thinking about thermodynamics. The fact that water flowing downhill is "free" energy confused our civilization for a long time.
brinks1254 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:25:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a chemist the term free energy in the context of thermodynamics means something different, but I totally get what you're saying
anschelsc ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:42:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah fair. It's been a long time since I studied this stuff.
Meph514 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:52:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The proper term would be unharnessed gravitational kinetic energy.
anschelsc ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:33:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I meant something more like "spontaneously generated energy". That is, if you don't understand what powers evaporation, it's hard to figure out how all that gravitational potential energy ends up at the top of the waterfall.
Meph514 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah gotcha!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Meph514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:02 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Kinetic_Energy_vs_Potential_Energy Please see the table.
Here's a break down:
Kinetic Energy: Example: Flowing water, such as when falling from a waterfall.
Potential Energy: Example: Water at the top of a waterfall, before the precipice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:46 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Meph514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:44 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A stickler for semantics aren't we? It was to better illustrate the point. Get off your high horse.
ActivatedComplex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:04 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...what?
poopmeister1994 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:00:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair also, the water cycle is something you usually learn about in elementary school
BlackGhostPanda ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:12:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do they teach kids these days? Every entry I've read here should be common knowledge
earthgarden ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:31:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the test. They teach them how to answer the state tests. They teach them 'strategies' to figure out how to answer multiple-choice questions. How best to use their calculator for the math questions, how best to find 'key words' for the reading questions. Stuff like that. You know, rather than actually teach them how to do math and how to actually comprehend what they read.
michaelrohansmith ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:16:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rainfall was pretty obvious though. Evaporation, perhaps less so.
anschelsc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, rainfall just delays the question ("well how does the rain get into the clouds then?")
Getmo_ritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shh don't let her know that
burdturgler1154 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 16:27:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, "quitting cold turkey" is an idiom and if you've never heard it before, it wouldn't make sense. Same kinda goes for "lashes" if you've never heard it in the whipping way.
Then again, high schoolers gonna high school.
Getmo_ritz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, but it's more fun to think she was an idiot
burdturgler1154 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "she was pretty hot" line was also hysterical!
MrRonny6 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:28:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... Getting addicted to turkey sounds pretty damn hard!
PmMe_Your_Perky_Nips ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:20:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like she was making things pretty damn hard.
multicoloredfan ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:17:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, we have all wondered where all the water from water falls is coming from at some point. Usually we know pretty early though
Getmo_ritz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea usually the water cycle is taught by grade 4-5
Whyyoulookinatmaname ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I misread that last one and I thought everyone got lashes at the end of a term.
Getmo_ritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was good motivation
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:37:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hot girls burn out quick, though.
Getmo_ritz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:22:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough she did.
AtleeH ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:56:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In similar fashion, a girl in my grade thought the sun and moon were the same object, just turned around. Another time, going over safety equipment in the science lab, when explaining the fire blanket, "won't that just make you hotter?"
Getmo_ritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Only you toots"
xray_anonymous ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:17:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a girl exactly like this in high school. I mean shit she would ask would make people just stop, mouths partway open, and just turn and stare. I wish I could remember some examples (I wish I kept a log) because ohmigawd. She was this girl's long lost twin.
Getmo_ritz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:17:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's those type of people that made highschool bearable lol
IDCFFSGTFO ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:50:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well then, she'll be fine.
therealpogger5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had someone ask why you didn't see the arctic when you look up
quantasmm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:12:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit! I don't think anyone has ever explained a map to me, its just intuitive...
therealpogger5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maps just make sense. I think she got the globe inside out or something, there were many questions like this
Getmo_ritz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant
Yawehg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a dumb blonde joke playing out in real life. I'm gonna think she was in on it.
Getmo_ritz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To this day I'm not sure if she was really that dull or if she just didn't care enough to think
Liberatedhusky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:39:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sounds mildly awful tbh.
Getmo_ritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea those people had it easy with the whip lol
Verizer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...Those are pretty much dad jokes.
I would assume sarcasm first.
Getmo_ritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would, then you would realize she is totally serious.
lastpieceofpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably got the lashes thing from Spongebob
Getmo_ritz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't strike me as the Spongebob type. More like MTV 90210 one tree Hill kinda vibe
DuckOfDeathV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, that first one is a pretty good question.
Getmo_ritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iunno, you would think by grade 10 kids would understand how evaporation and precipitation work lol I'll admit it sounds dumber than it actually is
Shuk247 ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 14:36:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother is a teacher, and told me of an instance where several students insisted that a map of their homestate was a map of the USA.
Furt77 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:21:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we are talking about Texas, then the answer is yes.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:31:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But Uncle Jimbo said we lived in here! How could we live in two places at once?
quantasmm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:39:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: they live in Florida
mechafroggie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:32 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which state?
Shuk247 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:26 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GA
m3r3d1th_ ยท 1696 points ยท Posted at 11:40:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a girl in my class was convinced that Saturn was the biggest planet in the solar system. She asked the teacher and the teacher said that Jupiter was the biggest. This girl then proceeded to insist she was correct and wouldn't look at any charts we should her. A real piece of work, that one..
Unfortunate_Dildo ยท 720 points ยท Posted at 12:03:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's better than just not knowing your planets. I was on a high school academic team and ended up being the only one in a room of idiots that knew more than three planets. Not to mention the order of them.
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 12:11:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh I still can't remember the order from inner to outer, but I can remember them from smallest to biggest.
Mark Made VENUS Jump (Mercury Mars Venus Earth Neptune Uranus Saturn Jupiterj
DoofusTinyRick ยท 262 points ยท Posted at 13:33:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned "My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas." I still remember it 25 years later so one of my teachers did something right.
[deleted] ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 13:58:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I was in first grade when Pluto no longer became a planet, so we changed it to nachos
ReadWriteRachel ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 15:18:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..... I feel old. And I'm not even old.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:32:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew this comment was coming. I'm 17
ziggyblackstardust ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:00:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, you're younger than the Nintendo 64.
mortiphago ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:05:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you need to get a reddit license to post if you were born in a year beginning with "20"
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:12:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
September 1999
mortiphago ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're clear. Carry on.
therealggamerguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about just 2000?
ReadWriteRachel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:42:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Papers denied.
mortiphago ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did I stutter?
ReadWriteRachel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, I'm only 22 (almost 23). I shouldn't have to feel old yet. :(
SaturdayMorningSwarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so old.
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:40 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're too old to become a child prodigy.
Vanetia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:17:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter learned this when she was 4 so...
It was also devastating to her as Pluto was her favorite planet
romanozvj ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:12:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or "nothing"
DaniK094 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I were just talking about Pluto no longer being a planet the other day after I saw the article about a "new" planet that is expected to be discovered in our solar system in the next 10-20 years (I saw the article on Reddit). I have a 3 year old daughter and I said to SO "What acronym will Grace learn?? hm...My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us...Nothing!" momentarily excited I was so clever followed by "I guess mom is kind of a bitch..."
-Mountain-King- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coincidentally, I was just talking to some friends about this. My offering was "My very elderly master just sold us nothing".
Special_McSpecialton ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:35:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pluto will always be a planet to me!
(Actually, many astronomers do still consider it a planet. Source: my college astronomy prof.)
edit: the class was 5 years ago. Apparently, it's a dwarf planet now. I just love Pluto, whatever it is.
SinkTube ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
all of them, in fact. it's a dwarf planet
Shardok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's in the fucking name. It's just not one of the Planets of our solar system. It is still a planet though.
Merishone123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats because it is a planet. Its just a Dwarf Planet now.
BaBaBlackSheeep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:(
rebluorange12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in third grade and my teacher still made us learn pizza because she was still insistent Pluto would be put back/still considered it a planet.
Shardok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am sorry about your loss
94358132568746582 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an idiot. I thought how is "Nine Nachos" better?
PrinceTyke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, I was in sixth grade when that happened... I thought for sure I was in high school... You'll always be a planet to me, Pluto.
PaxNova ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:09:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us NOTHING.
Jebsticles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember SOHCAHTOA from trigonometry with
tfofurn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That escalated quickly!"
Ukuled ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:13:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I Learned "My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets" of course its now useless without pluto
SUM_1_U_CAN_TRUST ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I want pizza, thanks a lot!
Kittentoots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned the order of the planets from that one old school Blue's Clues song. I'm 24 years old and I STILL remember it.
Edit: This is the one- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG6_Uf9mrbQ A decent, normal video doesn't seem to exist.
EsteemedColleague ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the one I learned too. Now I hear the kids learn "My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nachos" since Pluto is no longer considered a planet.
Fiyero109 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why everyone needed mnemonics for this...it's just 9 (well 8 now) items on a list, no Krebs cycle or anything complicated
Psweetman1590 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For most people, it's useless information that will never get used, so remembering it isn't terribly easy for the average person.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered the planets as a kid because of a spaghetti commercial they were airing in my country (it was in Spanish). almost a decade later I still fucking sing that shit in my head. I can't believe capitalism taught me about the solar system.
KingDavid73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto... I never had any cool easy things to remember. My teachers were all old and didn't care and just told us to read the textbook and then we had a test over what we were supposed to learn.
fshannon3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Reading some of the mnemonics here, they seem trickier to learn than just learning the names of the planets in order.
someguywhocanfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned "My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets"
no1callHanSoloabitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius. The pizza thing always threw me
kkeut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned this one (with accompanying earworm song); My Very Educated Mother, Just Served Us Nine Pizza-pies".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey same here, but I think excellent was enormous cause that woman was serving nine pizzas.
deepsquirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Many vile earthlings munch jam sandwiches under newspaper piles".
I think it might have been in a horrible science book or something, but it's always stuck with me.
wildjones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used a similar one- "My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets".
NativeAvian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please excuse my dear aunt Sally.
Wishingwurm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always preferred "Mother Very Thoughtfully Made A Jelly Sandwich Under No Protest", with the 'A' being the asteroid belt ('T' is for Terra, or Earth).
Emma-lucy-loo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming (Planets)"
turnpikenorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very educated mother just sat upon nine pins
bluewolfcub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah ours was My Very Easy Mnemonic Just Sums Up Nine Planets
ReadySetN0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught "my very energetic mother just served us nine pickles." Very similar to yours and it obviously stuck with me as this was 33 years ago.
angst_in_plaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many Very Early Men Ate Juicy Steaks Using No Plates. It also accounts for the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.
juicydeucy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned this too, but the ending was "just sat upon nine pizzas". It feels weird that no one else has mentioned this variation, especially since the visual is fantastic.
albions-angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:09 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many Vile Earthlings Munch Jam Sandwiches Under Newspaper Piles. Learnt that when I was 5 (it was all around the inside of our classroom wall) and now I am doing my PhD in astrophysics!
TubeSteak424242 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:35:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, you learned some facts by rote. Why is this a source of pride? If you understand facts about the solar system then the sequence of the planets follows. The order that the planets are in, by itself, is virtually useless information.
DoofusTinyRick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/iamverysmart
fuzzyapples ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:24:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, they probably did but is that usefull in anyway
[deleted] ยท 648 points ยท Posted at 13:52:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Pick-Up_Line_Loser ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:48:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this one
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 15:14:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's from xkcd
https://xkcd.com/992/
MRAGGGAN ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:38:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel old, and sad. I got to the planets one and my mind immediately said, "My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas."
Except. Now we don't get Pizzas.
Pizzas aren't accepted in the planets anymore.
NecroK51 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 15:44:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take it fuhrer then, My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us NEIN!
MRAGGGAN ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:05:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had read the first three words several times, before I said fuck it and finished the sentence. Then it made sense.
TTK_Shadows ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to use the: My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Noodles
or (for pluto)
My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas
seemonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they're about to discover/observe a large planet out there so maybe they'll name it something starting with a "P"
MRAGGGAN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is when the atheist in me really asks if we should start praying.
SuperSocrates ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About to discover/observe it? How would we know unless they've already discovered/observed it?
seemonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They've calculated its existence with a very high degree of confidence. They just haven't actually observed it yet.
Erisianistic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Especially not cheeze pizza
MRAGGGAN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..... I'm not sure if this is a pizzagate comment because I'm fairly new to Reddit and literally just finished reading up about it.
And now I'm a little fucking concerned that people will think I mean fucking children, when I really just mean that I want Pluto back because Ohana means family!
(I seriously need to gtfo Reddit.)
Seriously though wtf is pizzagate?
Edit: oHaNa, not Obama, although TBF it still works.
ThrowawayButNotTaken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheese Pizza is a euphemism for child pornography. It's been for years and years, but more on places like 4chan's /b/ board where there were problems with people posting it in the past.
MRAGGGAN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have access to cable or shit like that, and I was absolutely uninterested in all the EMAILS EMAILS scandals. Unless someone was gonna come out and say "here is incontrovertible evidence" I ignored it.
So this pizzagate shit really just fucked me up.
I ventured on 4chan twice ever as an early teen, then noped the fuck right back out, each time. (Plus it had a shitty design to me.)
T_D, some how got a pizzagate Brian Swan (???) video into r/all so I thought, "I keep seeing pizzagate everywhere, let's research"
Bad idea. Bad fucking idea.
Although now I'm convinced everyone who believes this shit needs to be locked up in psych ward.
By the way. Who the fuck decided to ruin the sanctities of pizza by using for child porn?!?!?
I love literal cheese pizza. It's the only kind I get, usually. Fuck those people.
ThrowawayButNotTaken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just because child porn and cheese pizza begin with the same letters, CP (which is also commonly used to refer to child porn as an acronym).
MRAGGGAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm even more sad now.
Zarokima ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:32:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh come on! I know that "black boys rape our young girls but Violet gives willingly" is horribly un-PC, but that just makes it all the more memorable, which is the whole point of a mnemonic. Plus there are 3 Bs and making it racist means you don't have to remember that the first one is for "black".
marl6894 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:48:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's one I'll never forget, but probably also never teach to anybody else.
ruslan40 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:25:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's funny is that I actually learned this in my sophomore year of high school. Our electronics teacher was very "eccentric" and our whole class only had two girls (who were both more "one of the guys" anyway).
That guy was something; he was as fit to be a teacher as Trump was to be president. Fun times though!
To his credit, he was decent enough to slightly change the mnemonic to be "bad boys ravage our young girls, but Violet gives willingly"
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:29:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Notice that it says "none that I care for." Which means that Randall (the author of the comic) doesn't care for that one. Given its violent and politically incorrect nature, is it really that unreasonable for him to dislike it and not want to include it in his comic?
Zarokima ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whole idea is that a mnemonic makes it easier to remember. You're not going to forget the racist rape one, because that's horrible, which is great for the very purpose it's supposed to serve. The alternatives Randall presents are just word salad, and so are not really fit for purpose.
The Katy Perry orgasm one is a good alternative, though, because of how uncouth and absurd (without delving towards being meaningless like his resistor ones) it is, which is better than the only mildly improper traditional one.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:58:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it wasn't easy to remember, I didn't say it wasn't useful, and I didn't say that Randall's alternative was easy to remember. (Personally, I don't remember any mnemonics for it, I just remember black-brown-rainbow-grey-white, which I think is easy enough, but that's just me.)
What I'm saying is that Randall is probably very aware of it, but this is a webcomic; it's supposed to be entertaining, more than useful or educational. And the dark resistor mnemonic doesn't really match the humour style xkcd at all, so it doesn't really belong in the comic. It may be useful, but that's not the point. So I think it's perfectly reasonable for him to leave it out of his comic.
And I definitely agree on the Katy Perry one. I even use it! I also use the "Karl Marx Gave..." and "Microsoft Made No..." ones.
Edit: I accidentally a a word.
Zarokima ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I can't believe I never noticed the middle chunk of colors were the same as the rainbow. I'm retarded.
SinkTube ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:49:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes. being violent and un-PC should make it more likable, not less
Minas-Harad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, maybe for teenagers.
Sunnya008 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did they use back when Pluto was planet?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good question. That really only affects the traditional one (since the new one came after Pluto's reclassification), so replace "nachos" with "nine pizzas", or something to that effect.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:22:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pluto is a planet
Omega357 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dwarf planet.
Gibbothemediocre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
King Flippy Nips will see you now.
tired_and_sleepless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:47:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always just used PEMDAS to remember the order of the planets. this is sarcasm please don't think I'm stupid random internet strangers
Exodus111 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mercury and Mars fuck up mnemonics.
Louiesocool17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very eager mother just served us nachos
BrotherChe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
's Penis.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mallory Valerie Emily Mickels Just Saved Up Nine hundred ninety nine nickels
Arancaytar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where's P--- fuck I'm old.
MajorDouble7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Voluptuous Ex-wife Married John Stamos' Underwear, No Pants.
BrineBlade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/jesuschristreddit
stripes361 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted for relevance to Jesus Christ.
dreamsfortress ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 12:56:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learnt the order with this phrase: My Very Easy Method Just Set Up Nine Planets.
Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto. (obviously when Pluto was still a planet)
winch25 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 13:48:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned with a slight variation, being 'My very easy method just speeds up naming planets'
hettybell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:18:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup that's what I was taught as well! Then Pluto was declassified and now that doesn't work ๐ฅ๐ฅ
RaggySparra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can just knock off the "planets" and it still makes sense.
popsickle_in_one ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:03:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my even easier way is just to realise learning the order of 8 things is no harder than counting to 8
armorandsword ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:35:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why it bugs me when people complain about how education is "just about memorisation". Not that I'm little lord fuckpants or anything but the reason I know the order and relative sizes of the planets is because I know a little about each one, and that slots into the bigger picture. Mercury is small and very hot since it's so close to the sun, Venus is between Earth (the "third rock from the sun") and despite being a very similar size to Earth (they used to regard Venus as something of a "twin planet") it's very hostile. Then there's Earth, then Mars etc.
Not really much rote memorisation goes into it, just retaining a few easy details and then it all slots in.
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:05 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mnemonics in general piss me off. Like, why even bother at that point when you can just Google?
winch25 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:24:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even easier is to not bother learning because if you need to know you can do a google search.
goh13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even easier if you can take control of Germany by false elections and then invade Poland and burn the minorities.
TheRealSteve72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear. Penis stuck in Poland.
ejexe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name checks out.....? Lol
winch25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very easy method just speeds up invading countries.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My variation was odd, at least I thought... My Very Easy Mother Just Sucked Up Nine ..........
hallinunu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned with "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas"
Gypsy_Biscuit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Very Evil Mother Just Smacked Uncle Neds Poodle
Noobzilla_Gaming_YT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many Vigorous Earth Men Jump Straight Up Near Pluto.
Poor Pluto
aaeko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Very Easy Mother Just Sexed Up Nine People
willi_con_carne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught my very easy method just speeds up naming (planets)
Pluto was a planet when taught, but easily modified
SelphiesSmile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very educated mother just sent us nine pizzas is how I learned it.
h3lblad3 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:13:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught the order by my mother who would repeat a rhyme that went:
Mercury, Venus, the Earth, and Mars,
There are the planets that dwell near the stars.
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, too,
Neptune and Pluto, I know them, do you?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neptune [long pause] I know them, do you?
2006 - Present
richalex2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, from my first grade teacher.
spitfire9107 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:40:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you forgo Pluto as the smallest.
spacemanspiff30 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 12:52:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay Jerry.
Toxicitor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also ceres, and every other asteroid. Oh, and eris, along with the other dwarf planets.
jbmass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:34:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eris is actually more massive than Pluto, sadly it doesn't stop people who insist there are 9 planets.
Toxicitor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, pluto's pretty small after all that plutonium mining.
ReadySetN0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are 9 planets. They just havent seen the 9th, only its gravitational effects
DiggingNoMore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are nine planets.
10lbhammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you forgo Pluto.
rpgmaster1532 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:33 on February 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pluto isn't a planet anymore.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learned it from the song on blue's clues
Sam-Gunn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was some song I learned as a kid.
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus (u-RAN-us)
Neptune and pluto, away so far, it's a universe fast and furious.
That's all I can remember.
RaggySparra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I missing something, or has no-one pointed out that Mars and Venus are backwards there?
Catgutt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mars is smaller than Venus, how's it backwards?
RaggySparra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because I'm an idiot who can't read! Sorry about that - I misread and was thinking of the wrong order.
Farqueue- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very elderly mother just sat up near pluto
pielad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never heard that before.
I think it's a bit confusing considering that there's two Ms at the beginning and the first word is "Mark", which is basically a derivation of "Mars".
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone suggested "Men Made VENUS Jump"
jasonwsc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered it as
Many Very Evil Monsters Just Surrounded United Nations
TheGizmojo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That feel when no Pluto :(
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rip in pepperoni
ComradeSomo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learnt "My very elderly mother just sits up near Pluto"
of_course_you_agree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way I learned the order was "My Very Elegant Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas," Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto.
The modern version, after the demotion of Pluto, goes "Many Very Educated Men Just Screwed Up Nine Planets."
HoodedPotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The order from closest to the sun is:
Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune
Craftastrophe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man Very Early Made Jar Stand Up Nearly Perpendicular.
It may not make much sense, but it's worked for me for 25 years!
unclecharliemt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Martha's Violet Eyes make john sit up nights Pluto!
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're most of the way there, actually. There's only two things to change the size ordering into the distance from sun ordering:
LezBeeHonest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Mercury to get to Venus, but how on Earth am I supposed to get to Mars? Jumping Jupiter, Saturn's sale is Saturday! Uranus said that Neptune's selling Pluto's cars.
Airway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I memorized it because of that one scene in Drake and Josh where Josh recites the planets, in order, for a radio contest.
Jehovacoin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one in this thread who can remember all the planets, in multiple orders, without any sort of mnemonic device?
-Reddit_Account- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...Are you using a J as an end perenthes?
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... (Someone noticedj
I noticed it last night before bed but was like, "no one will read this thread, so who cares"
charminglydisheveled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mon Vieux Tu M'as Jetรฉ Sur Une Nouvelle Planรจte (learned it in French). Bonus with that one is the " 'as " is where the asteroid belt is (between Mars and Jupiter).
Toraden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets (yes Pluto is a planet you fucks!)
Tesatire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never learned size order, I learned alignment order. Just taught my son my ridiculous half-baked phrase. They didn't teach that to my kid yet, I don't know if it's not currently part of the curriculum anymore or what.
Mom Vomits Every Morning Just So Ursula Never Pluto (my eldest sister was pregnant at the time and helped me make it up but we couldn't come up with a PG P word so i always just aid pluto and it made me laugh).
xray_anonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Very Excellent Mother Just Sat Under New Pines.
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.... Pluto
Okay so I learned this back when Pluto was still a planet. Still use it to remember the order though
DangerMacAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very eager mother just served us nine pizzas?
wurm2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember it as Men Plan Many V.E.N.U.S. Jumps. back then Pluto was a planet but also using men instead of mark helps tell mercury and mars apart (MEn for MErcury and MAny for MArs)
lalibella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's wrong... First Earth then Venus
labrys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For inner to outer I learnt
Except there aren't 9 planets any more :(
ColdFury96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm irrationally angry that your acrostic doesn't have Pluto in it.
Orisi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I learnt it was My Very Easy Method Just Sums Up Nine Planets. Obviously Pluto is now a dwarf planet but the fact that it refers to planets helps me remember the mnemonic for it.
rylaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned (well, remember) the order of the planets from an episode of Saved By the Bell. Screech used the first letter of every planet in order from the sun to make a single word. MVEMJSUNP. For some reason, this mumble of a word stuck with me more than any mothers serving pizzas ever did.
LeodFitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just remember that the last three, in order, spell SUN. Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.
amightymapleleaf ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 12:38:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know the order of the planets from Drake&Josh. I sing the song every damn time someone asks- like the alphabet.
rubber_hedgehog ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:42:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's Mercury, then Venus. I saw the Earth, then Mars. Saw Jupiter, then Saturn. I saw Uranus and Neptune.
NEPTUNE NEPTUNE, IT'S NEPTUNE!
malonkey1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:37:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys are giving me nostalgia. I used to love Drake and Josh.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:50:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's my nearly annual pitch then:
Drake & Helen. With Josh living life like a normal adult, Megan adopting an alternate personality and living with crazy steve, Drake's band has failed. He's a one hit wonder. He struggles to find work. He's in massive debt and has had a few DUI's.
He needs a place to live, he needs a roommate while he gets his life together. In comes the ultimate Odd Couple - Drake and Helen.
Bae_Guevara ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:39:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But didn't Helen change her name to Shirley and begin attending a local community college?
UtterFlatulence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd watch the FUCK out of that.
burdturgler1154 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same! I have no idea why I can remember because of the song, even though the song is basically just the planets with "I saw" and "then"
megamatt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I can't understand why anyone can't name all 50 states. My school can't be the only one that made us learn 50 Nifty United States. It's practically the only thing I remember from elementary school, and it still randomly pops into my head all the time (in my 30's now).
SoulWager ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:06:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was able to name all of them from memory, but got Neptune and Uranus in the wrong order. I need to go install RSS for KSP.
wurm2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mohol, Eve, Kerbin, Duna, Ike, Jool, Pol (I hope I got that right)
Edit: damn I called planets the name of a moon of the previous planet twice
onexbigxhebrew ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:10:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would argue that claiming to know something and being incorrect is worse than lacking the knowledge at all.
lovellama ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blues Clues!
Well the sun's a hot star,
Mercury's hot too,
Venus is the brightest planet
and Earth's home to me and you.
Mars is the red one,
Jupiter's most wide,
Saturn has those icy rings,
and Uranus spins on its side!
Neptune's really windy,
and Pluto's really small.
Well we wanted to name the planets,
and now we've named them all.
(This of course was before Pluto was demoted. :P)
krissbee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still sing this when I have to remember something about a planet. I'm 27.
cpurple12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else remember that episode of Blue's Clues where they sing the planet song?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yefKX2onHI
I miss Steve
catsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, not knowing something is better than refusing to learn.
immauser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a LOT worse than just not knowing them. When told she was incorrect, she flat out refused to look at anything that proved her wrong. Someone should keep her off Twitter.
ltorviksmith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely not better. It sounds like NPD to me.
Armienn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it isn't. Not knowing something is definitely better than actively denying new knowledge.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ex, at 38, I might add, believed that Mars was the closest planet to the sun and Mercury was 4th. I pulled out many internet based sources from reputable sources (we were out at the time) saying the truth and he still said that I was wrong and he was right.
somecallmecillitbang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught 'Many Vile Earthlings Munch Jam Sandwiches Under Newspaper Piles' to remember the planets... guess it would just be under newspaper now :(
๐๏ธ UrsulaMajor ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 11:43:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse you....
Ok I forgive you.
imhotep4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something like this shouldn't be forgiven.
Merishone123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It hurts to read
Teslaviolin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:02:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a future politician.
Phoenixon ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 13:23:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta respect her alternate facts.
AlternateFactsBot ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:23:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edymnion ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:44:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saturn really is just the greatest, Saturn is actually a close friend of mine, its going to do great things. Great things.
Phoenixon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:39:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saturn looked at least 1x, 1.5x larger than jupiter from her perspective.
DestituteDomino ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:10:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my perspective, Jupiter's evil!
whitecollarredneck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:18:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's over, Saturn, I have the high ground!
MrMeltJr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You underestimate my orbit!
Pasglop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You were my moon, Io, I loved you!
ngwoo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:51:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typical intolerant liberal educators not accepting the fact that Saturn is the largest planet if you really feel that it is!
mildcaseofdeath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar note, PLUTO'S A FUCKIN PLANET, BITCH! Signed, King Flippynips
johneaston1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:18:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little (~5 years old) I used to think that Jupiter was bigger than the Sun, and it took a lot of convincing from my family to get me to believe otherwise.
Zuphixavex ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:43:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, when I argued that Saturn was the biggest planet I at least tried to claim that it covered more space because of its rings.
9 year old me didn't know that Jupiter had rings too.
theoneandonlymd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saturns rings are in fact larger than Jupiter's.
DongLaiCha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:44:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Active ignorance pains me significantly.
rax_Tempus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future Republican right there.
Paulius2444 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:15:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid in my class refused to believe the Sun was a star.
blacksheep998 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a girl that was in my class back in elementary school.
She had a lot of ideas about things and would not accept being told she was wrong.
One example that stuck in my mind was when we were learning about different kinds of animals (I think this was probably 1st grade) and the teacher brings out some pictures of animals to see if we could identify them.
The first couple pictures were alright. Cow, horse, chicken, exc. But then we got to a picture of a fish and she went off.
"Fish aren't animals!" She insisted.
"Ok, then what are they?" Asked the teacher.
"They're reptiles. Fish, frogs, and reptiles are all reptiles. Not animals."
She was so stubborn that once she started on like that there was no point trying to argue. When she got like this the teacher just let her doodle in her notebook so that class could continue until we moved on to the next topic.
CargoCulture ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:14:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was she a Trump?
noms_on_pizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trust her.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pluto is a planet!
Kurokazee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She obviously worships Satan...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was maybe 8 or so, I was very much into Space, and I was writing a little book about it. I was at my grandma's, and she insisted that Neptune came before Uranus. She just didn't believe that it was the other way around, so she said "Let's look.", and she got an astronomy book off her shelf. When she was proven wrong, she accepted it, though she was still a bit pissy about the whole thing. At least she listened.
xanplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have this struggle with out 9 yo who things she's always right. If you try to explain the math or the question and why she's wrong she'll just say that's how the teacher explained it and she's right. >.>
Geometer_John ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was that Conway, by any chance?
Papie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a shame she didn't think it was Uranus.
RocketToInsanity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She'll have a great job as a human rights activist
pipter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And she later became president of the United States.
chefranden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True believers are like that, ya they are.
kentucky_cocktail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like presidential material
CyberCelestial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Tumblrite in the making, lad.
deadly_inhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Careful talk about her too much and this administration may promote her to head of NASA
madsci ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She could have a cabinet position waiting for her if she keeps that up.
MacDerfus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds eerily familiar in this day and age
whtthfgg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
last name Trump by chance?
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But....WHY
I_Think_IShit_Myself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even though she's wrong, if you think about Saturn being Jupiter's father it sorta makes sense just off the top of your head.
Kiosade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey look at the bright side, at least she'll have a job waiting for her in the Trump administration...
ShaidarHaran2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In one of my classes a girl thought Jupiter was the "biggest star". So at least she was only off by planet!
maxiesnax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Very Expensive Mohair Jumper Shrank Using Nasty Persil
zayde199 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She just had #alternativefacts
k3rnelpanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in Grade 8 I had to convince the teacher that the moon did rotate on it's axis. She thought it didn't since we always see the same side of it.
_DeandraReynolds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would've slapped her in the teeth.
ibcrandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, so basically everyone's response to political debate these days...
Verizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you include the rings, Saturn is bigger. Most people associate saturn with rings, so that's not too bad.
packer4life12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny because I actually had a teacher that messed up the order of the planets. I wasn't actually sure about the order but I was fairly confident I had them right. Luckily for me I had a folder that showed the order of them and it turned out that I was right. The teacher still tried to deny the correct order even after that proof. This was in 8th grade btw.
Yawehg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is the widest if you count ring diameter, maybe that's how she was thinking?
jacksongodfrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jupiter just looks bigger because it's closer
Arancaytar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was her name Kellyanne?
m3r3d1th_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, her name was Laura
Hakim_Bey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny cause not knowing Jupiter is the biggest planet isn't that big of a deal. Insisting in your error, though, makes you look like a total dumbass...
happymanwonton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like an aspiring politician
Midgetstroke ยท 2851 points ยท Posted at 12:15:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a kid in my class asked me what the time was, i pointed to the analogue clock on the wall (cause i was busy), he said 'I dont know how to tell that time'. This was 2 years ago and he was 15.
Edit: wording and spelling
villainouscat ยท 1271 points ยท Posted at 14:04:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My kid has been struggling to learn analog time. She is in third grade and they started teaching it months ago. I couldn't figure out why she was having a hard time until I actually looked at the clocks in her school. All the cloths are digital, and they are all wrong! So, I bought an analog clock for our living room and she is doing a little better with it now. I didn't think about the fact that she never uses an analog clock, so how can she learn it?
ebc ยท 980 points ยท Posted at 14:42:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another good solution to this is to buy your daughter an analog watch that she really loves. It's excellent motivation. I had a really rough time with it but my parents bought me a Sailor Moon watch, it really helped a lot. My sister got a Minnie Mouse one. Also keep in mind that difficulty reading an analog clock can be a sign of dyscalculia so keep an eye out for other tells like the inability to tell left from right, difficulty when trying to subitize objects and obviously difficulty with math. It turned out my issues with analog time was a symptom of this so it took until my teen years to get it entirely right but the sooner you know about disabilities then the easier it is to learn!
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:26:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would one get tested for dyscalculia? I'm 25 years old and I still have problems telling my left from my right. And I just used a calculator not too long ago to do simple math. And I've always had issues with analog clocks. I've always assumed it was just another side effect of having ADD (which I have been diagnosed with)-like my mind wanders too much for me to get a good grasp on stuff.
dannimatrix ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:32:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. My. Fucking. God. THIS IS ME.
Can't tell my right from my left. Embarrassingly, I recently mislabelled items on a work document (saying that the thing on the left was on the right and the thing on the right was on the left - mortifying). The only way I can remember is by thinking of what hand I use to write with. When giving directions, I just throw my hand in the direction I want the driver to go because I can't think of the word.
It took me until I was in High School to properly read an analog clock. Sometimes I still get confused.
Can't do simple math. I was fine with more complex math, oddly enough. And I was exceptional in writing and literature classes, but in math I am squarely in the slightly stupid sector.
I also have ADHD.
HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THIS BEFORE???
Lylohcat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:16:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually really common for people to be exceptional at literature based subjects when they have dyscalculia
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did well in writing and literature classes, too! Are you my clone?
ebc ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:35:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting fact! A quarter of folks with Dyscalculia also have ADHD! So it might be the case that the ADHD is a side effect of the Dyscalculia (if you do end up having it.) Or maybe the two just sort of go hand in hand, or maybe we're getting misdiagnosed, we don't really know yet. As far as getting tested, that really depends on where you are and what your resources are. I was diagnosed while I was in school and at the time in my region student testing was done for free by the schools. I know that's not the case around here anymore. If I were you I'd look into how folks get tested for other learning disabilities around you and go from there. I really can't tell you how it work since it varies so much region by region. I will tell you though that unless you're still a student there may not be much reason to get tested for it. There isn't much that can be done to treat it except that it brings out more understanding and patience in yourself, peers and teachers.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:46:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the information. Since there's not much help to treat it, I guess there's no point in getting tested. Hell the meds I took for my ADD didn't even help.
ebc ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:52:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the meds didn't work for you because you were misdiagnosed with ADD when your actual issue is Dyscalculia? It's very easy to make mistakes with the sort of disorder testing we use now and Dyscalculia is a very under represented issue although that's starting to change. I don't want you to take this as any sort of medical advice, I'm not a doctor or an educational professional. It's just something to think about that's all.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:58:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I'm like the poster child of ADD. Can't focus. Lose things I set down two seconds before. Change subjects very frequently. Forget what I was saying in the middle of a sentence. I've had to start movies over so many times because I'd get distracted and walked away while it was still playing...
But you're right, it is something to look into. If it could help me in any way, it would be a big step from what I've already tried.
ebc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:15:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's okay! You can have both. I have them both too! And we can still be very successful with them! The trick is being patient with yourself. I've always found that panic, shame and anxiety in the face of my short comings only make it worse. When I'm presented with math problems I take a deep breath, explain to others why I'm taking so long and just do my best. If time is a factor then it's okay to be open, honest and ask for help!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Patience has never been one of my strong suits haha. Probably a big negative factor in helping myself stay focused. I've been really trying, though. Especially with having a two year old daughter. She's been a big help with forcing me to deal with my problems rather than ignoring them.
Ampersand82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you heard about SCT?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I haven't, but I'm intrigued now...
Dreamcast3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:33:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I often use a calculator for basic addition and subtraction but it's usually out of sheer laziness
smooth_jazzhands ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 15:55:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is blowing my mind. I've never heard of this but it sure sounds like me. I'm in my mid-twenties and can barely do simple addition/subtraction, sometimes confuse left and right (as well as east and west to the point I have had to write it on post-its). In high school I was in all AP classes...except for remedial math. I got 800s on the SAT...except for math, which I got something on Forrest Gump levels, like a 300. I worked as a bartender to pay for college and almost got fired multiple times for making the wrong change. What is extra weird is that I speak a foreign language fluently, but cannot remember the words for numbers in that language and struggle with translating anything numerical. I worked as a translator for awhile and my boss would get upset when I would take too long to translate/interpret things like "49" or even the current year!
I have never understood why math was so, so difficult for me and have always felt ashamed. If only I had known about this sooner!
ebc ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:04:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you are still have issues in your professional life it may be a good idea to get tested. Depending on where you are it may not be legal for someone to fire or reprimand you for a documented learning disability. I got extraordinarily lucky with my diagnosis, I'm in the same age range as you and when we were in school it was pretty much unheard of, however I went to an exceptional school with exceptional teachers and support staff that recognized my issue was real and having a damaging affect on my life despite my proficiency in other subjects. None of them had experience with this before but sent away for the testing kits, (sort of like a standardize test) and consulted with a professional from another area of the country. Since that time awareness has increased dramatically and understanding is growing in leaps and bounds.
smooth_jazzhands ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:08:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fortunately I don't have to do any math in my career, so that's not likely to be an issue. And I have systems/apps in place for things like personal budgeting, taxes, calculating tips, etc. But I am curious about this; where would I get tested?
ebc ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:11:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That totally depends on your region and resources. The same place that would test for things like ADHD, Dyslexia and Dysgraphia and other learning disabilities near you would be the place to look.
sirophiuchus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:37:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An educational psychologist's office would also be likely to refer him to people who do adult testing.
MeshesAreConfusing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What field do you work in?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MeshesAreConfusing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly math finds a way to sneak into even the most innocent-looking fields.
Hit-Enter-Too-Soon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:48:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a thing I know about, so I'm genuinely interested. If they test you and say "yep, you're an adult and you have this issue," what happens next? Do you just feel better because you get why math has always been such a struggle for you, or is there some kind of training you can get that's tailored to help with the problem?
sorator ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:18:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure there are coping mechanisms that they can suggest. Getting diagnosed would also let you claim ADA protections if need be. That doesn't mean you can keep a job you aren't capable of doing, but it can get you reasonable accommodations. I can't think of any specific examples of that for dyscalculia (maybe ability to use a calculator in situations you otherwise might not be allowed to?), but I expect it could be useful in some positions.
ebc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an excellent question and honestly I'm not sure, I was diagnosed in school years and years ago and everything to do with the disorder has evolved so much. I was certainly given resources and alternative tests and coping mechanisms but I have no idea at all what would be done for an adult.
sirophiuchus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly cognitive behavioural therapy to manage patterns that were causing problems, also coping mechanisms, and likely helping to work out any frustration/inadequacy feelings they had as a result of growing up / coping with their condition.
Lylohcat ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:43:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is exactly how I felt! All my life I was in advanced classes, except for math. I'd meet with a math tutor for an hour a day every single day and still fail every single math test. In literature however, I was helping lead the class and getting A's on everything. It was so frustrating to have my perfect English score be ruined by dismal my math score on my ACT. I am so frustrated no one thought to test me for a disability when it was so apparent. So many people just think math is 'hard.' They normalized this intense mental block I had.
bannana_surgery ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:18:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this and have a hard time with arithmetic and reading clocks, but once I got into math that was more symbols I did OK for the most part. I mean, I had to be really careful adding like x+3x sometimes, but integrals and stuff we're relatively easy. When I've graded for physics classes, I always had to add the total twice in the calculator to make sure I didn't fuck it up, though >.>
smooth_jazzhands ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a woman by any chance? I wonder if the stereotype of girls being bad at math might have blinded people to the fact that struggling so intensely with numbers and acing everything else isn't normal.
Lylohcat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am actually. Yeah, a lot of the issues I have because of it were just passed off as normal. I struggle a lot of directions as well. People always just said, "Oh well I get lost all the time too!" or "Math is hard for everyone." I don't think people understood the extent to which I was trying. I mean I've had people say that they think have dyscalia when they just finished saying they got an A in geometry or some other Math, when I have tested at the 5th grade level after numerous years of every day math tutoring. It's hard for people to understand that I don't just struggle, I can't do it. Again with directions, people often just dismiss it. Meanwhile, I can get lost going to where I've lived for 17 years.
Erisianistic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:26:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have trouble recognizing people, especially if they dress unusually or change/dye their hair? Its one of the more fascinating side effects of my dyscalculia. I learned to look for identifying marks, hair, mode of dress, and other things I can hopefully use to identify someone before they catch on that I can't recognize them.
For example, two of my cousins are 'bland'- they just don't have anything that makes them stand out much to me. They are both objectively physically attractive, and most people say they don't look much alike at all. If you dyed their hair and put them in identical clothes, there is a good chance I wouldn't be able to tell you which was which just by looking. Cousin A has a slightly sharper chin, while B has bigger ears. B stands straighter than A, usually. I still remember everything I know about A & B, I just can't identify them without clues.
smooth_jazzhands ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YES! My friends joke that I am "face blind", although I remember names easily. In college, my boyfriend of several months and I had a dramatic breakup. The next week, I was in the university gym working out and a guy walks into the weight room and looks at me. I think to myself, "Wow, that guy looks just like [ex-bf], but with a beard. Weird!" and continue working out without acknowledging the bearded dude.
Of course, it was the ex. He had just grown a beard. He told all his friends I had coldly ignored him at the gym. Variations of this happen to me all the time.
Erisianistic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:40:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, face blind is a thing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia
Joke's on them, we really are face blind! :) 0_0 :(
smooth_jazzhands ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, why did I not know about dyscalculia sooner! Man, I could have saved myself a lot of shame just by being aware of it.
Erisianistic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its not one of those high profile conditions, like dyslexia or sexlexia
Lylohcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my goodness totally! My sister used to tease me because I always said random people looked like other people we knew. She'd always say I was nuts. When I got diagnosed and read that symptom I was totally vindicated. .
I work in a long term stay hospital, and when the patients change clothes at night it's chaos trying to remeber which one is which.
Erisianistic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, Yeah, I'm used to those weird looks and "no, they look nothing alike..." and I'd be all but but look at the chin and the ears and...
Oh man, that sounds like a massively difficult situation for face blindness!
DeceitfulEcho ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:15:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Computer Science major / Mathematics minor in college. While taking discreet math I managed to fail to count to 12 three times. On the same test. I looked back at the test and was confused why I had such a bad score, then I see 12! = 1234567891012. I had dropped 11 in every case. I was just like "wtf", I have no idea how I missed that.
thisismeER ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:31:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WOAH WHAT THE FUCK. What can I do to help this? I was going to get left and right tattooed on my hands lol
ebc ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:41:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience there isn't much you can do to treat it. (If you do end up having it) If you're still a student it's extremely beneficial to know since it really affects the ways you can learn and you may require more patience and understanding from teachers. If you're out of the education environment then all you can do is learn to be patient with yourself, which helps reduce the anxiety involved since it's not really something you can control. From there everyone develops their own coping techniques. Maybe tattoos are yours :)
Erisianistic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:15:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are some ways you can train your brain. Most of it seems to be alternative methods for learning stuff, or finding ways that your brain can remember something.
If you hold up your hands, palm out, facing away from you, your left hand makes an L shape, for LEFT. I sometimes have to point left or right at work, and I'll almost always subconsciously do the L gesture, then point.
For directions, I do better using a 360 degree compass. North is 0/360, East is 90 degrees, South is 180, West is 270. Coincidentally, holding your Left hand up in the L position mimics a compass rose pretty well. Index finger for north, thumb for east.
I usually have to physically turn a map so its facing the direction I'm going, to get turns right. Or having the robot voice tell me 'turn left in x feet' so I can do my ever useful L gesture.
Or when I was trying to get a mechanism that you had to turn the dial up or down to change the angle of a nozzle, I couldn't get the up/down thing until my instructor changed it to 'pull the dial towards you to pull up the nozzle, push the dial away from you to push down the nozzle'
nozzle is a funny word.
'bed' can be used to tell which way letters go. b is the head of the bed and points right, e is excellent, and d is the foot of the bed and points left.
If you find something you think will work, practice it a few times.
thisismeER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah thanks for the answer! I think I do most of these things. In high school, my math was always wrong but done right and the teacher had to change how I took my tests, because she knew the work was right. I've been meaning to get a compass.
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The magnetic kind or the circle drawing kind?
I am aware of the sun's location in the sky and about what time of day it is. The half of the sky with the sun in it is south, where the morning sun is in the east half of the south side of the sky, etc. So if the sun is over my shoulder, I'm facing north.
I have no idea if that is how anyone else thinks, and don't know if it helps you. Only the middle of summer is hard to guess north.
TheLionfish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold up your hands, palms facing away from you and fingers together. Then move your thumbs away from your fingers until you make an 'L' shape with your index fingers and thumbs.
The hand that is making a correct 'L' is your Left, the one with a backwards L is your right. It's not ideal but is probably better than getting 2 tattoos...
thisismeER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm also going to be covered in tattoos sooooooooooo
thisismeER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a problem when they both look right. Yeah. I learned this tip in elementary school like everyone else.
TheLionfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:14 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't know how common it was, just trying to help.
thisismeER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:56 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're good :) I'm planning on being covered in tattoos anyway, so it'll make driving a bit faster.
ourjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you write with your right hand? I do. I don't think about it now, but I'm pretty sure this is how I learned my left from my right.
thisismeER ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:59:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but I'm ambidextrous. I'm 25 and it's still a problem. I point while giving directions to double check.
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thought about wearing a ring on one hand? No negative stigma for hand tattoo, no one would think twice.
ring_the_sysop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold out your arms in front of you. Stick out your index finger and thumb. The index finger and thumb combination that makes an L is your left.
mistere213 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:05:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my mom wouldn't let me get a digital watch until I could tell time on an analog clock. But once I learned, she'd buy me one. Talk about motivation!
hotbrokemess ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:24:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...this describes me really well.
Serdaigle15 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:31:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school and college I had a lot of boring classes! I had an analog watch, but without the numbers, only 4 sticks for 12, 3, 6 and 9. And without the arrow for the seconds. It somehow made the time goes faster when I only knew approximately what time it was.
I just bought an digital clock to put above the tv cause I couldn't stand watching tv and not knowing what time it was. I regret it now, because I am only focused on how much time I waste watching tv.
lfantine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subitizing
Cool word. Like not having to count the spots on the dice. I think five is my limit unless organized like the six. Two groups of three is simple. So two fours is eight. Two fives I have to do quick math.
I may not be very good at mathematical thinking.
ebc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I may be wrong since I only know how my own brain works but I think you're doing it the normal way. The idea that you can look at a scattering of ten objects and "do quick math" sometimes with out even realizing or acknowledging that you're doing it is normal. However that would be out of my skill set. I can't do even basic addition in my head so whenever I'm in a situation where that sort of quick basic math that you do without noticing is called for then my whole brain completely slams to a stop. I have some basic addition memorized however the amount of that I can do is pretty limited because even thinking of the concept of the number is very static-y and intangible, it's very difficult for my mind to hold on to if that makes sense. Thinking of a number (any of them) sort of feels like trying to find that word that's on the tip of your tongue, you know what I mean? Now my case is actually a fairly severe one. Some people with Dyscalculia do fine with the very basics.
EDIT: spelling
smooth_jazzhands ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am holding back tears right now because I have always felt this way about numbers and it's the first time I've heard anyone else describe it. I've been so embarrassed about it for a long time and it never occurred to me it might be a learning disorder.
ebc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm happy I may have helped and I'm very sorry that you've been living with embarrassment. I hope you know that diagnosis or not some people are just not good at math and that's okay. No one can be good at everything and I know there are things that you are good at so just try and let go of the shame. Then you can move on and just be great at the things that are meant for you.
Lylohcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the same feeling when I finally figured out that I wasn't stupid, just my brain was different. I'm glad that you feel better. PM me if you ever want to talk about it.
lfantine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can easily tell if it's a group of even or odd, under ten. Then I split the groups in twos and threes or something like that.
Our brains are so interesting. It amazes me that the brain can do vectors and trajectories in a flash so we can catch a ball. Unbelievable really.
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're so right! Even those of us with slightly wonky brains still have such incredible power rattling around our skulls!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That must be rough. I'm glad to hear you're medication is helpful! You're absolutely right, thank god for medication, and thank god for everyone out there who sees affected people and instead of just saying "They're weird" they say "I wonder why they're weird."
monstercake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:56:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't read analog clocks for years and I still have difficulty with left and right. I was also always terrible at math compared to other subjects.
I found out about dyscalculia in college and was shocked because it sounded just like me (I think I had a mild enough case and was able to get by, but still.)
I called my mom up and excitedly told her and her reaction was basically "uh-huh yeah sure."
:(
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't have to deal with the difficulties that you did so it was probably a non-issue for her, which is good because it means you did a great job coping!
monstercake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, she knows I'm bad at math and we had a lot of frustrations with it when I was a kid.
She just blames bad math teachers (which is true) and lack of motivation in math and I think because I'm smart in other areas she doesn't want to admit I might have a learning disability.
It's understandable but still frustrating. Oh well though, not much I can do about it now really haha.
Lylohcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This warms my heart. I struggled so much with this as a kid, and my parents (who are as kind hearted as they come) teased me so much. They just couldn't figure out why it was so hard. When I finally got diagnosed with this it was a weight off my shoulders. I wish more people knew about it, none of my teachers flagged it when I literally had every symptom. Thanks for spreading awareness.
tumsoffun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am so upset that this is the first time I've heard of dyscalculia, I've spent my entire life thinking I was just an idiot when it comes to math!
ebc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being diagnosed does so much to alleviate the shame involved with an inability to do math. Once you learn not to be embarrassed then you can get to work learning how to make your skill level and you abilities work for you. If you don't want to go through all of the trouble of being diagnosed then maybe all you need is to hear someone say your lack of natural mathematical proficiency is not your fault. Everyone has things they are good at, math isn't one of yours and that's okay. All you can do is move forward with the skills you have and find the best way for you to be the best version of you.
insaniac87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had people tell me things like dyscalculia and dysgraphia are not real and that I'm just trying to belittle dyslexic people by asserting my dysgraphia. All three of those issues lie in the same vein, difficulties processing written information, be it numbers or letters. For dysgraphia I have to deal with completely misinterpreting different words and it can effect my speech as well with a stutter (Not to mention I had a lot of difficulty reading even the simplest books until I was about thirteen.) Like I might read a book and it says chair. My brain will register it as say hair because it rhymes or even sit because it's an action I inherently associate with chair. Like my brain for some reason sees the word as an anomaly I have never seen and so just slaps what ever it thinks is the closest, best interpretation of the word I'm viewing. Causes endless rereading of sentences and can make me seem like I am speaking gibberish when I start stuttering out random words. Luckily have i handle for the most part on the speaking issue but it still rears its head when I'm stressed or super rushed.
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dysgraphia is very real and it must suck a lot to have! I hope you're in an area where you can get lots of help and have resources with it come to education. Anyone who tells you it's not real is a misinformed asshole! People tell me all the time that learning disabilities aren't real, if they are respectful in their comments I'll do my best to educate them, but if not then fuck 'em, I've got more important shit to worry about.
TurquoiseLuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a cool word I just learned.
ebc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably not a word I would know either if I wasn't asked to do it all the time during testing as a kid!
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subitizing
For anyone else who this is new for. I love a day when I discover something new to me.
Some people feel ashamed for not knowing something they feel they ought to have known. But you can't know what you've never learned! I teach. Accepting that new knowledge is not freighted with shame is essential for the courage to accept and seek education.
https://xkcd.com/1053/ this is my favorite.
Kylynara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 36, I've been wearing an analog watch pretty much daily since I started high school and probably earlier than that. I still suck at it. I can do it, but I have to stop and think. I can't just glance at my watch and tell you the time. I can however glance at it and tell you I have about 15 minutes until I need to leave at 11:25, which is a bit harder to do with digital.
gkryo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I learned military time. I put all of my clocks on 24 hour so I'd be forced to deal with it.
siyuri1641 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I received a zebra watch specifically designed to teach analog time telling. Man, I loved that watch! Edit for spelling.
Adog311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fifteen and I still screw up with East and West. This makes Skyrim quests absolute Oblivion.
skullturf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned a new word today! Thank you for that!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subitizing
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have dyscalculia as well as dyslexia, and this is was absolutely a problem growing up. Especially telling left from right. I still mix that up sometimes.
RadarLakeKosh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where can I get one of those Sailor Moon watches?
christinee279 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
......holy shit I think I have that.
tastar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just make sure you don't get them a watch they like too much, otherwise they'll up into the rabbit hole of 4 figure Seikos, 5 figure APs and 6 figure Pateks.
My first watch was this. I got really good at recognizing the time just based on the positions of the hands because of the lack of numbers.
dalr3th1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For those not aware, "subitize" refers to the ability to figure out how many of something there are without actually counting them. Usually when there's a small number of something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ebc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was diagnosed as a child so it was a very important part of my life. However if you are out of the education environment then I don't know how useful a diagnosis would be to you. If you are still a student or plan to go back to school or have been struggling and facing reprimand at work then please get tested as soon as you can and you may end up being provided with resources that could really help you!
EDIT: I should mention that there is no cure or medication to "fix" the issue.
95percentconfident ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, how do you diagnose dyscalculia? I have all of those symptoms and people think that the way I think about math is strange. I've made it work though (STEM field, advanced Maths, all that) but it would be interesting to know if that's why I struggled so much.
koiotchka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trouble reading an analog clock, trouble with math (I haven't learned anything beyond multiplication and division, but that mostly means I know what the concepts are; that doesn't mean I can actually do them, unless I draw a lot of dots or use physical items), and can't tell left from right describe me perfectly... My mom still makes fun of me...
HandsOnGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: Subitize
I did. My spell check dictionary is still clueless.
sleepyworm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just learned the word "subitize" because of your comment. Thanks friend!
Killerbrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: I have dyscalculia
bofm_overflown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh! I dated a guy in 9th grade who couldn't read an analog clock and had to do the L thing with his thumb and pointer fingers to tell left from right. I dumped him because he was an ass, and I honestly thought he was dumb as a brick. He also failed math classes more than once throughout school. Now I feel like a douche, but that was over a decade ago so I'm not too shook up about it. Still, TIL.
oceanbreze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up when there were NO digital clocks... I was in 5th grade before I totally understood how to tell time. When the arrows were close together and in between the numbers threw me off.
noahmartinez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sailor Moon is badass.
Rixxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All these symptoms apply to me. What can I do about it?
ebc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That entirely depends on where you are and what your resources are. You'd have to research the places near you that diagnose learning disabilities. However there is no cure and no medication . Only coping mechanisms.
villainouscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:25 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to get her a watch this weekend. Probably Pokemon related.
WebbieVanderquack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did I not know this was a thing? I think I have it.
TheBaloneyCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd literally never heard of dyscalculia before. I'm apparently pretty good at mental math, but my wife's not so great at math and that's hard for me to understand. Thank you for mentioning this disorder so I can now prepare for it if our children should present symptoms.
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very happy I may have helped! My father and I occasionally had a strained relationship before diagnosis because he is excellent at math and didn't understand that I was not just being lazy. If your children do present with symptoms don't worry too much, the disorder is not a persistent one in all people who are diagnosed! Many Children out grow it the same way many out grow ADHD. However lots of us have it our whole lives which is fine too. You can be successful with out math. I'm doing very well for myself!
illirica ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:38:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's really sad. They started teaching basic analog time in kindergarten at my daughter's school (just hour and quarter-hours), and then did a full unit on analog in first grade. Waiting until third grade seems like way too long.
Keeping an analog clock in the home is a great idea. For my daughter, we bought an analog clock for her room after she asked for one, and try to refer to it fairly often, e.g. "We need to leave at 9:30. What time is it now? 9:10, great. So, how many minutes until we leave?" etc.
Jadenlost ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:16:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 6 yr old asked me the other day for a watch of his own. But he doesn't want a digital one. When asked why he pointed to the analog clock on our wall and said " What if I am somewhere and all they have is clocks like that? How am I 'possed to know what time it is?" He's a smart little cookie.
His 12 yr old brother...well, lets just say we are still working to find his strong points.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best part of school was trying to figure out what time zone you're in so you can figure out when you can leave. Some teachers were cool and just brought their own clocks out of frustration.
PM_ME_A_SURPRISE_PIC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live, that you have multiple time zones to choose from?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mean actual timezones every clock was off by a random amount so it was hard to figure out the tine.
PM_ME_A_SURPRISE_PIC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
wasniahC ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:35:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does this mean here?
SinkTube ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:07:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they're not set to the correct time, i assume
villainouscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:09 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I asked my daughter what time she goes to lunch, she couldn't tell me because every single clock is wrong. Expect the one if the office where parents sign in and out. They just get off time or the batteries die and nobody bothers to fix it.
wasniahC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:23 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, just as literal as that? What the hell, don't they have any custodial staff? Just on top of the educational issues..
WhiskeyCup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the teaching world (at least in language teaching), we call this "input". You have to be exposed to it fucktons before you begin to get it and "produce".
IAmNotNathaniel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's great that you got an analog for the kid to learn from.
Of course I can't find any mention of it right now, but I could have sworn I saw a study where telling time on analog was faster than digital.
Your brain doesn't have to decode the numbers in analog in the same way and you can get a sense of the time very quickly by the hands alone.
I have an analog on the wall, and even though I sit in front of 2 computers with the times on them always visible, when I am busy I almost always look up at the wall clock for the time
blueeyesofthesiren ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been thinking of getting my girls a clock for their room, but struggling with the delima of analog or digital. Being 5 & 6, they know their numbers well so digital would be the easiest without having a huge learning curve.
Reading this though I'll probably go analog. All the other ones in our house are digital as well.
PrinceTyke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All of the clocks in the school are wrong? Wrong as in showing the incorrect time?
I actually loved when, in the new building, my high school made the switch to digital clocks. They're so much easier to see at a distance. That being said, I was a Senior when that happened, so I could already read an analog clock.
dedokta ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:18:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I can easily see that reading analog clocks will become a thing of the past soon. There is very little reason to be able to read them urges days. Almost all clocks are digital and everyone carries a digital clock with them at all times these days.
superhappyrobots ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:31:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People were saying that when I was 15. It's now the best part of 10 years later and no sign of that happening yet. They probably don't sell as well as they used to but they're still pretty popular.
Iredditmorethanwork ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:01:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle gave me a somewhat nice wristwatch when I was 11 and some of my friends made fun of me because I couldn't read it. Lots of people said back then that all watches would be digital one day. I'm 33 now and have a half decent collection of nice watches. They're practical, they look nice, and can really finish an outfit.
foster_remington ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you and almost everyone you know have a device with a digital clock in your pocket at almost all times?
superhappyrobots ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:28:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, correct. I'm not saying that there's a lack of digital clocks, I'm saying that there are still plenty of analogue. The two don't have to be exclusive.
Most digital clocks I see are definitely part of some other gadget or appliance.
dedokta ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except for expensive wrist watches you just don't see analog clocks anymore. Where exactly do you see all these analog clocks? I can't remember the last time I saw one.
ShouldersofGiants100 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:23:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clock towers? In nearly every classroom? The advantage of an analog clock is that you don't need to be close enough to read the numbers to tell the time. Rather than a huge digital clock you need to see the exact number across the room, you can have a normal sized analog, because the distance you can make out a black line on white is MUCH further than the distance where you can make out specific numbers. Especially if you need glasses.
They also aren't as vulnerable to glare when viewed at a distance. It is not easy to see even a very bright light in direct sun.
superhappyrobots ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:42:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if this is more a region specific thing, then. I'm from the UK and would consider it quite rare to see a digital clock outside of an appliance/gadget.
As for where I see them, wherever you'd expect to. My friends and family usually have at least a couple in their homes, my workplace (and just about every local shop I can think of) has multiple, churches. They really are everywhere.
sumduud14 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder where /u/dedokta is from. I'm also from the UK and I see analog clocks a lot more often than I see digital clocks. Computers and phones are the only places I see digital clocks really.
In offices, classrooms, lecture halls, literally every house I've ever been in (not just of friends and family). If I walked into someone's home and saw a digital clock in every room and no analog clock, that would be slightly noteworthy.
Basically this is just a rewording of your comment, but I'm just so surprised that someone would say they can't remember when they last saw an analog clock.
dedokta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Australia. Sure, analog clocks are still around, but you used to have to bee able to read one to know the time, now most places here don't use them. The train stations are all digital and less and less people are wearing wrist watches.
Corinthian82 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a moron, or just very young? Digital watches have been around for the best part of fifty years but analogue clocks are going nowhere. Only an imbecile would not be able to read a fucking clock.
dedokta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually 44 and remember when analog clocks used to be everywhere. Train stations, schools, house clocks, airports., everywhere you looked was an analog clock. I also remember when everyone wore a wrist watch. If you asked someone the time they'd look at their arm, nowadays they grab their phone. If you think that just as many people are wearing watches as they did thirty years ago then your horribly mistaken. I'm not saying that it's going to happen next week, but analog clocks are definitely declining.
SaysiAlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a clock as a kid which had "ten past" "quarter past" etc listed by the numbers. I was a good reader so I learned time real fast with that.
TotallyDepraved ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Allen can help with this instructional video. https://youtu.be/0QVPUIRGthI
rawrvenger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the fifth grade I had a teacher use analog clocks as a way to do quick math problems.
From_31st_century ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents got me an analog watch with a digital display behind the hands when i was little. Just from that i figured out how analog works! Highly recommend
Drawen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put the clock and some instructions on the wall facing the toilet. She will learn by pooping!
NickLeMec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... How old are kids in third grade where you live? Shouldn't your kid already know how to tell the time?
Also... Telling the time is something parents should teach their kids anyway.
Espdp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buy a cheap clock and remove the second hand and minute hand. Using only the hour hand, you can get really close.
Genequin_Knows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does she need to? We don't teach people how to read sun dials anymore. Its obsolete. Like cursive.
someinvisiblehand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it might be one of those things that gets phased out of teaching, like cursive writing. It's just simply not really needed anymore.
TheWoodBotherer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant very funny Dave Allen sketch on the subject, which might give you a laugh! ;>)>
Nikwoj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 20 living in a big city and I feel like analog clocks are still everywhere. I could be wrong though because now that I think about it the only place I use one is at the ymca
veils1de ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might sound far fetched but make her do multiplication tables. My dad made me do multiplication/division problems everyday as a kid and i hated it, but I'm grateful for it now
For telling time, obviously only multiples of 5 is needed but it'll help her understand how it works and not just memorize 7 on the clock = 35 mins past the hour
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had some trouble with it too. We didn't have them in our schools, ever. They only time I'd see them growing up was on the rare occasion I'd go to a doctor's office or something that had one on the wall. My mom couldn't figure out why it gave me so much trouble. We got one for our kitchen, and that really helped.
chalulaforme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A great way to teach kids to tell time with an analog clock is to make one with a paper plate and two paper hands of different size and color. Only mount the hour hand and teach them how to tell the hour. Take it off and mount the minute hand and teach them how to tell minutes, then mount them both and finish up with minutes and hours.
Garona ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet having one in the house will help. Growing up, we had a clock that was not only analog but also had Roman numerals. It was the only clock in the living room, so I had no choice to be learn to read it if I wanted to know what time it was while watching TV. I give that clock a lot of the credit for my ability to read Roman numerals to this day lol. Of course, this was before the era of smart phones...
Coziestpigeon2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They didn't start teaching how to read an analogue clock until third grade? Holy crap, I must be old. That was covered early in grade 1 when I was a kid, and that was only in the early 90s.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad had some educational games on the computer for me as a kid, one of them taught how to read analog clocks
Anathos117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? I learned that in kindergarten.
LeibnizIntegralKeks ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:20:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If she never uses it, why is she learning it?
armorandsword ยท 358 points ยท Posted at 14:18:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin once asked me what the time was and I replied (something like) "Three fifteen." She says: "what's that in digital?".....3:15?!
Edit: Sloppily wrote 3.15 instead of 3:15
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:10:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
jokes on you, correct answer is 3.25
ScarsUnseen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming we're talking PM, wouldn't the correct answer be ~0.635 based on a 24 hour day?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shit good point
The_Enemys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:15:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be decimal though
ScarsUnseen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the person gets told "3:15" and is unsatisfied with that answer and asks for the time "in digital," then they are apparently asking for a different number system. They aren't asking for military time, or they'd ask for that, and the question makes no sense at all if they just want the time as told on a digital clock, because the original answer makes sense in that context.
In this case, the decimal system is the closest logical choice since it's the most commonly used number system. A:F would be accurate in hexadecimal(assuming 16 periods of 90 minutes per day), but "digital" would usually be used to describe the characters "0" through "9." I suppose you could tell them the time in binary, but if they could understand that and not the standard notation of time, they're probably a synth and should be shot on sight.
The_Enemys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair point
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:33:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3:fiddy
Djugdish ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:15:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should've told her 15:15.
wild-haggis ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:50:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quarter past three.
madogvelkor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quarter till half past three.
poopmeister1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a shocking number of people don't under stand quarter past, half past etc.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 15:21:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TubeSteak424242 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:28:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
uh no it doesn't. 'half three' is 2:30. yeesh.
silent_xfer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:53:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can never work that one out. Half of three is 1.5 which fucks with me
BuddyUpInATree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where are you from? Where I am (Canada) there's half past 3, which is 3:30. Or for 2:30 it'd be half past 2, but we'd never count ahead a half hour like that
-aRTy- ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think as long as you include "past" or "to" it's fine. The issues I know of are expressions that translate to "half three" or "quarter three".
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15:15
redpandaeater ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:10:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A minute past pi. Alternatively 11 1111.
Immortan-bro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it have been 15:15? Or was it A.M ?
armorandsword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember the exact time it was, I just used "Three fifteen" as an example. Either way, where I live anyways, people wouldn't usually say "fifteen fifteen" for 15:15, it'd be seen as unusually specific.
Immortan-bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was just being pedantic. My mind is a bit blown because I'm only a few years older than an entire generation that don't know analogue timings. Crazy
DudeBored ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking with a friend of mine (we're both 23) and I said "it's quarter to 6." She said to me "I don't know what that means. why can't you just use numbers like normal people?"
edit: clarity
armorandsword ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, I kind of get why people find this confusing. The quarter part is fine of course but whether the "of" means after or before seems to be interchangeable for some people!
Rahkdhwtu3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:00:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he meant quarter to six, seeing as t and f are close on a keyboard i assume autocorrect was at fault.
Or is that actually something americans say? Its X of Y? Because that makes literally no sense.
Then again I've literally never met anyone unable to tell the time via an analog clock since age 5.
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Americans use quarter to, at least in the West. I thought the British used quarter of, though.
armorandsword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually a pretty common phrase, often used as the equivalent of "quarter to".
FL00PthePIG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does quarter of six even mean?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that in metric?
Gypsyarados ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it possible she didn't know the term 24h clock, and was actually looking for 15:15? Or was she maybe having a a spazzy moment and meant is it AM or PM?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most kids don't understand when I say it's 10 after or 10 to. They think: 10-2? WTF?
madogvelkor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love saying things like it's a half past a quarter til. Which would be about :53.
BroodPlatypus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be 3:15. But technically not 3.15, rather 3.25.
madogvelkor ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's something that makes sense if you visually a clock face, but not if you only know digital. 3:15 = 3.25 because 15 is 1/4th of 60.
sosnazzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i know a guy who asks his phone "what time will it be 3:00"
first off, i mean, it'll be 3:00 at 3:00...
second, he seriously can't do the math to figure out how many minutes (sometimes less than 10) until the next hour
nullpassword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I pick out that maybe you have been exposed to a certain holy book.
TubeSteak424242 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
she's saying, what time is it really, because she knows it's freaking unlikely it's actually 3:15 and the actual time matters for a particular reason.
Gamertilforever ยท 248 points ยท Posted at 14:21:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, they taught us how to read analog clocks in kindergarten
dopeasrope ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:44:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats what im saying! what the fuck did you guys learn in kindergarten?
Forever-sleeping ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:57:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son is currently in first grade and they are teaching him. I'm really suprised how many people cannot read them.
ValKilmersLooks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:32:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can read it and was taught how in school but there's definitely a delay while I do it. It never became instinctual for me.
Indefinita ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:48:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught in 1st grade too. But I never really saw an analogue clock again after that. The school was all digital. My home clocks were digital. My watch was digital. Naturally After a few years I forgot and decided re-learn when I was about 17.
I still don't have an appreciation for it though. It's less accurate, takes slightly more time to interpret, and requires a lit room to read.
Anyways , if you don't have an analogue clock in your house, get one! It would have saved me from forgetting it as a kid. It's easy to forget something when you never use the skill. Though honestly most of the developed world could probably get by without that skill, it's just not as necessary as it used to be.
madogvelkor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer analog, it's just as east to see at a glance and it is much easier if you need to calculate how much time between two times. Unless you're only using 24-hour time, anyway.
hitzchicky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the calculation part is the biggest pro. Unless, like you said, you use the 24 hour clock.
flyingwind66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what seriously? an analog clock is kind of like a picture and digital is like a word... I find it easier to remember faces than names so I always found analog as fast to read as digital... I might have lost my train of thought there hah XD
wackawacka2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have an atomic analog clock in my living room. It's perfectly accurate.
Indefinita ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I meant the human element I guess. A perfectly accurate analogue can still be misread by a few minutes if you're taking a quick glance. A digital shows the exact minute.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, and I thought that was normal. I was the only person at my last job who could read an analog clock. Found that out when they asked saw my watch and acted like I was a wizard. It's not actually that hard.
viking1428 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, it's literally the only thing I remember learning in kindergarten
hitzchicky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember learning to read.
LegendOfPublo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks
Old memes ftw
gnarledwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember the first time I saw a digital clock. Pretty sure I was 5 or 6.
Vivirmos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
with one of those toy analog clocks with the red hands you could spin
Malak77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never went. It was not a requirement then.
forerunner398 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know right! They even gave us worksheets on this too!
Emptamar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:40:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you? xD I had to teach myself as an adult...
stripes361 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only 27 and I definitely learned that shit in kindergarten/1st grade.
Also, taught high school and middle school and both schools had analog clocks on the wall instead of digital. Maybe the kids completely ignore them and use their phones now, though.
sharr_zeor ยท 640 points ยท Posted at 12:40:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was never taught analogue
My teacher never spent any time with me when I said I hadn't understood
I spent all my time using digital, then self taught a few years ago
Edit: a word
Toxicshop ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 14:25:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, it wasn't until I went to an after school German class that I learnt to tell time via analog.
Stringtone ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 15:03:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I went to an American public school and we learned how to read an analog clock in kindergarten. I didn't realize they don't teach that everywhere.
NewNavySpouse ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:29:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They tried teaching me, I could figure it out but I had to always count in 5s from the beginning and I always got the hands mixed up so I just said fuck it, my teacher didn't really care neither did my parents. I eventually taught myself how but I still have to actually "read" it I can't just glance and know.
follow_your_bliss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:00:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that so interesting how our minds work? I feel with certain things if we don't learn in the right time window we are screwed for life. When I read your comment I thought ugh that would suck so badly to have to "read" the clock and not just understand immediately from the visual what that meant. But then I thought, I'm 26 and I still very often visualize my left hand making an L to remind myself which is left and which is right. I've gotten better at it, but because I didn't fully grasp it in school and didn't drive until really late, it does not come naturally to me. And I can grasp really complicated things. So bizarre. North, East, South, West is even more innately ingrained in my sense of direction than left and right ๐
Alucard_draculA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:46:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I pretty much do this, but its +/- 5 from 0, 15, 30, or 45.
Analogue clocks are dumb and should just have the minutes listed on them too >_>.
NewNavySpouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:56:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to start from the beginning every time because I didn't understand the 15 min for each quarter of the clock. No one bothered to help teach me it either but I have a decent grasp on it now.
MRAGGGAN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't.
I taught myself around 16/17.
Must've missed that day.
madogvelkor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I remember learning it back really early on. Around the same time I was learning numbers and counting. Plus the clocks in the classroom were all analog so if you wanted to know how close it was to the end of the day you had to be able to read one.
Of course, this was back in the mid-80s.
Eurasian-HK ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:05:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of Americans I've met that can't read an anolog clock is staggering.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:05:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:34:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I was taught in first grade. It's standard in the US to learn early, possibly even required by state law. It's weird to not know.
Elphinston ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:10:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WIE VIEL UHR IST ES??
PseudoArab ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hammerzeit!
throwaway969798 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was never taught this in school. my parents taught me this stuff.
Gonzobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're literally hands pointing to numbers, what is so hard to comprehend??
iKILLcarrots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too!
2xtreme21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's gotta be the worst way to learn it. Telling time in German is overly complicated.
"What time is it?" "Well looks to be 5 minutes before half 4" (3:25)
Send_Me_Gold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, Germans have multiple was of saying time. For instance halb neun, or half nine is really 8:30.
seewolfmdk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the south and the east they say the time in even another way. Three quarters 4, which means a quarter to 4. Many westerners can't understand it really. (Me included)
bkturf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And toxicshop's real name? Albert Einstein.
Havok1988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learned. Not learnt.
Toxicshop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My phone suggested learnt, it sounded right aloud and I believe there's a discussion on the usage in this thread but I'll watch my Ps and Qs from herein.
screen317 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:43:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sharr_zeor ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:44:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor choice of words, I know
Farqueue- ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:59:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can hardly blame you since you self-taught yourself. Well done, more than anything else.
S4VN01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should not have gone to you.
Brasscogs ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:06:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't understand how you can't figure it out by looking at it for 30 seconds.
sharr_zeor ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:17:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can
But often if someone asks you the time you don't have 30 seconds to stand staring at your watch
ewbrower ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:42:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plus the answer keeps changing while you're trying to figure it out. Very frustrating.
SuperciliousSnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, it takes practice and familiarity to be able to read it fast enough so you're not embarrassed.
Deftin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he meant that by studying a clock for 30 seconds, you ought to be able to surmise how it works.
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing how something works and beige able to use it within seconds are two different things
It wasn't exactly difficult to learn, I just never really bothered
Brasscogs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if you can do it once what's stopping you from doing faster?
sharr_zeor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Counting it out
IAmA_Risky_Click_AMA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you mean like critical thinking? Who does that?
Eurasian-HK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupidity knows no boundaries
soldierdown ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:21:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents didn't bother to teach you?
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They didn't need to. I never exactly asked them to, and I was happy reading digital
loukitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a ridiculous excuse...
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems a little harsh?
I never needed to learn analogue as I always had digital clocks around me
seh_23 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:31:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I self taught too. I was bored in ballet class and wanted so badly to know how much time had passed and how much time was left so I stared at the clock for most of the time and eventually figured it out.
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I take it you didn't enjoy ballet?
seh_23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not at all haha unfortunately I had to take it in order to continue to do the types of dance I did enjoy
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:25:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sharr_zeor ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:57:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just like learning left and right. It seems so natural now that it's easy to forget that at some point in your life you had to learn it :)
Karwedsky ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:51:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having to learn port vs starboard in the Navy really made me appreciate not having a problem with left vs right like some people. I still have to make a conscious effort to remind myself port = left and starboard = right. I just had to finally just start reminding myself that port and left have the same number of letters, and are the same, but I have to do that every time I think about it.
twolaces ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this.
edrmeow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:08:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually shockingly common. I didn't realize it until I started wearing an analog watch in high school, and people would regularly ask me how I can figure out what time it is with that thing.
wintercast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
get a binary clock and blow their minds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel old.
djmere ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:19:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to cry in 2nd grade cause i was the last kid to learn to tell time using the paper plates we made.
I still struggle from time to time if I'm wearing a watch without digits on it. (Movado type)
madogvelkor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm wearing a rectangular watch with no digits. That's even harder...
Forgetaboutthelonely ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Still struggle a bit with the exact minutes.
sharr_zeor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:18:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it still takes me a few seconds as well
IAmA_Risky_Click_AMA ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:44:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a separate hand.
sharr_zeor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha nice.
ElderCunningham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents taught me analogue at a young age.
I remember when I was about five or six, an older kid asked me if I knew how to tell time, and I said that I was learning, but still had a rough time telling the exact minute if the minute hand was between two numbers, like if the the time was between 1:10 and 1:15. The kid explained to me that all those minutes are still part of 1:10, and then the time just jumps to 1:15.
sharr_zeor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I said. We were taught this is at a young age, but I had trouble understanding and the teacher just brushed me off when I said I needed more explanation As such I never had the chance to learn
MacDerfus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow, I managed to avoid being taught left and right in school due to a combination of well-timed illness and moving to a new school mid-year that had already taught it. Got the hang of it watching baseball learning left field and right field.
UzukiCheverie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a childhood friend who still won't use hand clocks on account of not knowing how to read them. She's in her twenties now.
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never refused to use one, that just makes the situation worse.
I used digital while in public until I felt more comfortable, as I didn't want to have to stare at my watch for ages if someone asked the time lol
Kiosade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, learning analogue time telling is one of the clearest memories I have of first grade. Do they not teach it anymore in schools?
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I said.
We were taught this is at a young age, but I had trouble understanding and the teacher just brushed me off when I said I needed more explanation
As such I never had the chance to learn
Kiosade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh I see. I think I read the first part and just thought you meant it was never even brought up at all. Sucks that they didn't bother to make sure you actually got it...
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah
I live in a small town in the UK and this was about 20 years ago, so education wasn't ideal
II-o-II ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned how to read analog time in first grade. So I know how to do it in theory. But every watch and clock I've owned has always been digital and most of my schools had digital clocks. So every time I need to read an analog clock I struggle for an inappropriately long time until I come up with some estimate of what the time is, but I might be off by 1 or 2 hours. I'm almost 30.
Alarid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... I was mixing up analog and digital until I got to this comment.
Snarkysandwiches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My kids weren't taught cursive in school - they had to learn it on their own. Sad!
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was taught. But when I asked for additional help it was refused and the teacher just brushed me off and moved on to the next subject
Max123456263 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:59:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't know the analog clock... i'm 18....
Raven_Skyhawk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:27:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So when you learned to drive, did saying hands on 10 and 2 mean nothing?
sharr_zeor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just kept wearing an analogue watch and forcing myself to use it lol
Ghancc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should really spend 5 minutes and just google it or watch a video on youtube.
gaffney2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Short hand points to hour; long hand times five points to minute. Now you know.
Mattshuku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 32 year old cousin only just learned how to read analog clocks recently too - he just always wore a digital watch and never was taught either - he still can't read any clocks that have Roman numerals or just no numbers on them though.
DeadSeaGulls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my teacher didn't teach me shit about dinosaurs when I was a kid (grew up in mormon utah) but you bet your ass I knew what an ankylosaurus was by the time I was 7.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of us just taught ourselves when we were kids because, er, it's not rocket science.
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just never felt a great need to.
My teacher brushed me off when I tried to learn, so I just always stuck with digital instead.
It's easier and looks nicer lol
brit-bane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is genuinely shocking to me for two reasons. The first is that I was taught to tell the time in like first grade so not knowing how just seems foreign to me. Also I do not think I've ever been in a classroom with a digital clock. It's only every been analog clocks
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I said. We were taught this is at a young age, but I had trouble understanding and the teacher just brushed me off when I said I needed more explanation As such I never had the chance to learn
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been around digital. I'm from the UK and I've always been heavily into computers and tech so I've never had any shortage of digital time.
Parents bought me digital watches because I found reading them much easier
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In another comment, someone mentioned that because digital time was so prevalent, the little analogue we had learned was easily forgotten because it wasn't used
I think this makes a lot of sense
I definitely feel that I probably wouldn't have even needed to be taught analogue if I was around more clocks lol
Only the other hand, my SO struggles with 24-hour digital displays, but this may be due to her dyslexia
SensesNumbed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught analog clocks in 1st grade, in 1996. Maybe there was a reason? I'm not sure.
BottomOfTheBarrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where are your parents?
accentadroite_bitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin taught me when I was 13; he was 17, I believe. He was a bit mortified when I expressed confusion about the clock in his house.
shaolingod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you are over the age of 10 it should be rather self explanatory?
sharr_zeor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just never bothered. I never felt the need to because I could read digital
palordrolap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught at a young age, got a digital watch and promptly got well out of practice. This was well before mobile telephones with built in clocks or anything of the sort.
Then I misplaced my watch.
Being socially awkward, there's no way I'm asking a stranger for the time, so ended up re-teaching myself from the surprising number of analogue clocks that still exist.
Felt like a bit of a dummy tbh, but once I'd found my watch, I did without until I was confident in using analogue time again.
curtitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We used this in the 2nd grade I think.
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we had something like that too
As I said. We were taught this is at a young age, but I had trouble understanding and the teacher just brushed me off when I said I needed more explanation
As such I never had the chance to learn
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds identical to my situation, yet people seem to be blown away when I tell them I struggle to read analogue
bettynugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to take ages to read a clock face, I have to remember what the little hand and big hand do, then count out how many minutes and look at where the big hand is. Other people seem to be able to read the time instantly. I put it down to moving house and going to several different schools during grades 3 to 5 and missing that part of the curriculum at all of them.
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm much better now but obviously it's harder to learn things as an adult because a child's brain retains new knowledge more efficiently
It just takes practice, but you'll get there :)
FondSteam39 ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 12:45:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.... I finally learnt a couple months ago. I'm 15..
[deleted] ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 14:13:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
R1ckJamesBitch ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:42:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend in middle school thought he knew how to tell time by the position of the sun. We were out playing and one of us asked what time it was. He does something with his hands and says, "it's 6:00, we better head back now." We get back and it's like 3:30.
NoOnesAnonymous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This should work if you know sunset or sunrise time and do it properly. 1 hand width from the horizon is approx. 1 hour. The closer to sunset/sunrise, the easier it is to be accurate, of course.
Sinkingpilot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on your latitude and the time of year.
moeph0 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 14:35:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If anything you should learn how to tell cardinal directions based on the sun. Extremely helpful if you quickly want to orient yourself when driving and your gps hasn't full recognized the direction you're facing/traveling.
suckswithducks ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:40:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's more the rough direction, but yes, very helpful.
orestes1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:04:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't in other countries, but in mine, all the Catholic Churches face East, which is a nifty little trick to be able to tell west and east appart if for some reason you can't look at the sun.
mathdhruv ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:07:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...people don't know how to do this?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell East or West, but North/South I never remember the trick.
skelepieow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:38:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you are facing east, north is to your left and south is to your right. Once you've figured out which direction is east or west, you've done everything you need to know all of them. No trick needed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is the trick I keep forgetting.
probably_on_a_list ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never Eat Soggy Waffles
Read starting at north and go clockwise.
shevrolet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:06:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned it as Never Eat Shredded Wheat. It's nice that it rhymes, but it's a bit bullshit because shredded wheat is awesome.
Djugdish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We learned Never Eat Slimy Worms. I guess you should wipe your worm before you eat it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know what a compass looks like, it just never occurred to me it has to be read clockwise.
detroitmatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, first get east/west, then turn left/right and you're north. to get south, turn right/left.
BipedSnowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I keep thinking I know which direction is which based on the sun, but then I remember I'm far enough North that I'm off by a few degrees most of the year. (At noon it would face South more then anything.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:08:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, man. Don't come here about "last generation"! That's bullshit.
Analog time is something you have to learn. Ask someone born in like 2011 what time it is, based on a clock, and he/she'll tell you without trouble.
suckit5253 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know how to tell time by looking at the sun?
Can you teach us?
Radioactive_Bud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how to tell time using the sun
JaceSpades101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly. I'm 16 and we learned the analog clock in kindergarten. My sister is two years younger than me and she struggles to read analog sometimes because they didn't spend as much time on it when learning it.
Sitcom_and_Tragedy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, my niece is 6 and nephew 4. They're both learning analogue at school.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sitcom_and_Tragedy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well that's true as well. Use it or lose it, sister.
namer98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am trying to teach my three year old how to read an analog clock. Failing, but trying. Maybe next year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
namer98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly for the "Don't come in before 7am" effect. The clock around the corner from our bedroom is analog. She knows what it is, and understands that the hands mean a specific time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:16:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
namer98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have indeed thought of it. I suggested on top of that, to take the clock apart and paint one hand another color and say "when the red hand is below this, don't come in".
zombie-yellow11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I self taught analog clocks when I was 5 years old. Was kinda obsessed with it though. I drew clocks on every bit of paper I could find and tried to understand how the damn thing worked. Took me a couple of months but I got it :p
maaku7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That IS an extremely useful skill btw. Did he also teach you orientation?
Dogpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, you feel like a badass when you are within a few minutes of accuracy.
sittinindacaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
24 here. so like, i learned it. i can look at an analog clock and tell the time. but it baffles me how some people can read it as fast as a digital one that actually displays the time in a format that you can just read it and that's the time. with analog clocks, especially when they dont have the numbers or roman numerals, i have to count and remember the short hand and long hand etc. like i can do it, its not hard, but its not second nature
dwmfives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We come from a time when there was no digital. And you need to survive if digital stops working, which, being entirely manmade, isn't far fetched.
xippalatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same with cursive hand writing. Its dying since it's being dropped out in education.
havok0159 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing I really know about telling time by looking at the sun is what I tend to use on a semi regular basis. By placing my hand between the horizon and the sun and counting the amount of fingers there are in between, you can reasonably tell when the sun will set. Each finger is roughly 15 minutes. Helps me a bit when I'm on the road and want to know how much sunlight is left.
Since I learned about this from some random comment, I was really impressed when I first tried it and it was accurate.
RidleyOReilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And can you tell time by the sun?
Midgetstroke ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 12:59:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you self taught? I learnt when i was 7 aswell as the rest of the class.
FondSteam39 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 13:03:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I taught my self after realizing I wasn't tricking anyone when I said I couldn't see the clock from this angle.
buttery_shame_cave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it seems to be super hit/miss on kids being taught to read a dial.
mine not only know how to read a dial, they know how to read military time, but that's because the only digital clocks in the house are the stove, the alarm clock in the master bedroom, and the clocks on the computers.
all the clocks we reference all the time are dial clocks.
cybervalidation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you?
RachelAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In VA that's covered in 3rd grade (8-9 yrs old). When I was in elementary it was started in kindergarten and finished in 1st grade...but that was before digital wall clocks were common.
Brasscogs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wrap my head around even needing to be taught. Like if you look at the thing for a minute you can figure it out surely? The fast hand tells minutes and the slow one tells hours.
Pheorach ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:49:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They've been phasing it out for the longest time and if I have the option of looking at a digital clock, I will not even bother with analog because I always doubt if it has been set correctly. The only time I run into having to use it is in my office at a certain workstation where the digital clock is too small to see from a distance.
I was taught by my parents when I was young, because I was also young enough to be needed to be taught about how to "call collect" from a payphone in case of an emergency, and also how to contact my dad on his pager. (I'm turning 26 this year)
WishIwasANevermo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took me a while too. I can now finally look at them without counting from twelve to figure out how many minutes past whatever hour it is.
blazinazn007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're learning new stuff constantly its OK!
enmunate28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
User name checks out.
FondSteam39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly it's my old Xbox username and when I got a PC I didn't want to see it wasted. I came to love it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ugh, 'learnt' is technically correct but i hate seeing it written down, please stop.
FondSteam39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. I learnt to not use learnt a while ago. I guess I just haven't learnt properly yet. sorry
NotSoAlmightyNas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 15 and I was taught in primary school. It's so weird seeing that people were never taught it???
FondSteam39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do remember being taught it but we didn't have to the most ... Adept teacher in the world. She'd tell us how, make sure one person got it then set us the task.
bivenator ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 13:00:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good now you can focus on your spelling
NormieX ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:42:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm serious, what is wrong with the spelling?
evoactivity ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:53:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people don't realise learnt is a word, only accepting learned.
SinkTube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess they never learned about learnt.
roboninja ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:29:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learnt is a word dude. You can focus on your dictionary.
bivenator ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:50:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
old english is just that, old nobody uses your archaic words anymore...
cowbear42 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:00:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I thought too, but apparently learnt is acceptable for the British.
Astrama ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:49:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister and I both have forms of dyslexia, part of hers is that she can't tell what time it is on analogue clocks. She's much cleverer than me in many ways, both analogue clocks take her well over 30 seconds to read, and she'll have a headache/ the room will be spinning afterwards.
Everyone's mind works differently, some just have more distinct shortcomings than others.
(She's 20)
Deutschbag_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand how that is possible. Can she not see how the hands are positioned or something?
Astrama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's like how people without dyslexia can't understand how the words move or shift or just are difficult for those who have it. I can't pretend to understand it myself other than she just can't do it.
Major_Day ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:23:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
would have been understandable if it were 15 years ago.....and he was 2
graaahh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:09:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's two possibilities here that aren't just "kid is stupid":
He's grown up his entire life with digital clocks. This is something that's going to become more common over time, not less.
He might have dyscalculia. It's a learning disorder characterized by difficulty grasping basic math concepts, but also directions, analog time, spatial reasoning, financial planning, flipping images in your mind, watching someone perform a movement and copying them, etc.
swing_out ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:30:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to tutor after school at the public school in my rural northern Missouri town. More than half the kids who came in couldn't read an analog clock.
This was a Bronze Medal-awarded school. Missouri depresses me. I'm ready to move.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MadTeaParticipant ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 14:33:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's plenty of good reasons to teach it. If nothing else it gives young kids practice of multiplying by five. Even though analog clocks aren't in the classroom anymore, they're still in use elsewhere and they're not going away.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:11:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Sweden. Likely a more developed country than the USA. We have analog clocks on all the walls, and they just got new ones for this semester. It's in the curriculum, and there is no thought of that ever going away.
XGX787 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:47:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty important, like learning basic Roman numerals so you don't sound like a moron when reading them. "Vee-i-i". Also in my anecdotal experience an analog watch gives you a better sense of time because you can see the physical distance the minute hand has to move. Ever since I started wearing my watch my sense of time has gotten a lot better.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
XGX787 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard about a parent naming their kid KVIIIlyn, is it the same one or is this a trend?
youretalkingtodani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must be a new trend. There are some new crazy names out there. I also had a student named K.I.D.. It isn't pronounced kid, you have to say each individual letter. K.I.D.
TeacherOfWildThings ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:01:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach it in first. It's not in our curriculum either, but I think it's a good skill for them to have.
ReadWriteRachel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's stopping you from teaching it anyway? It would be a small lesson to slip in every day, and I think it would be really beneficial for the kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ReadWriteRachel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you not bring in a small analog alarm clock and set it at the front of your room and have them practice with it? Maybe before you go to the library, or art, or gym, or lunch, or recess?
DiggingNoMore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So hang up an analog clock over the digital clock in your classroom. This is not supposed to be difficult.
Raven_Skyhawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
teach them clock and cursive anyway!!!
youretalkingtodani ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do write in cursive, especially during our writing lessons. Even if they don't need to learn it (although I think they should), they should be able to read it anyway.
Raven_Skyhawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes me happy, thank you! You doing right by them.
wigsternm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analog clocks are this new generation's cursive.
RachelAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In VA it's one of the 3rd grade state standards.
usernumber36 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:45:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude no kids know anymore because phones. Nobody teaches them.
also *analog. It isn't analogous to something.
armorandsword ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:23:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, the analog vs. analogue thing is just a US quirk. Analogue and analog are really just the same but for some reason in the US, analog is often used to refer to electronics etc. while analogue is related to "analogous". But elsewhere they're entirely interchangeable.
Zuphixavex ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:34:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Analogue, OP might be British.
SortedN2Slytherin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:08:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't the iPhone clock app icon a moving clock? (I use Samsung.)
XGX787 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:44:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it is, but the digital time is above it and on almost every page. The clock app logo is neat, but also useless, still neat though.
hallinunu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but the lock screen and the time at the top of the unlocked screen is digital.
213471118 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and even tech watches have many "analog clock" layout options...
armorandsword ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The app icon is an analog clock but the time is displayed digitally. Plus nobody really opens the clock app to check the time.
Of course, a few years ago in the dark days, it was just a fixed image of a clock rather than a working version. The horror.
euyis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, but sooner or later it will cease to have any meaning to newer generations except as a signifier of clock, just like how the floppy disk icon comes to mean save file and nothing else.
andydude44 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no
LarryfromFinance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our phones should make it easier, its just a Google search away.
RsonW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
American versus Commonwealth spelling. Analog-analogue, monolog-monologue, dialog-dialogue.
But they have both up there, so I dunno what's going on with that.
IAimTobeSomeone ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 14:06:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have to be taught the clock? it's like being taught how to tell if it's raining or not, stick your hand out...did it get wet?
Just look at the numbers.. oh so when the pointy thing points at 6, it's 6?
yokayla ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:18:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when the pointy thing is pointing at 6 it really means 30.
IAimTobeSomeone ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:25:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But there are three pointy things, should it be hard to determine in which order they are? based on how fast they move?
yokayla ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:01:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, sure as an adult or older teen you could figure it out if you really needed to -- but you kinda don't really need to. Digital clocks are way more prolific and immediately available.
SinkTube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
plus you'd have to stare at it for like... minutes to spot the speed difference between the minute and hour hands
jinxandrisks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But how would you know that the 6 also means 30? Just by the fact that it's halfway around the circle? This assumes that you know there's 60 min in an hour and that the 12 represents zero. If you weren't told that each number represents 5 minutes to the minute had, then you'd have to be able to divide 60/12 - which I didn't learn for several years after being able to tell time. It's just not super obvious to little kids unless they're taught. Sure, a high schooler should be able to teach themselves but it's definitely something that requires actively learning.
IAimTobeSomeone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think these things are super obvious to even a five year old.
I don't know how you figured you need division to tell time..you don't
jinxandrisks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you don't if someone tells you how to tell time. You don't automatically know that there are 60 minutes in an hour. Or that every number on the clock corresponds to 5 minutes (number 7 = 35 min etc). Some one tells you these things or you don't learn them.
armorandsword ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:24:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a simple system but it's not inherently intuitive. You still need to know that the small hand is the hour hand and the long hand is the minute hand. Plus until you're told or you pick it up through osmosis, you don't intrinsically know that an hour is sixty minutes long or that there are 24 hours in a day etc.
scottishdrunkard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:01:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took me a while to learn analog, but I sure as hell wasn't 15!
simpersly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should get a binary clock and really screw them up.
Rowletking24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 24-year-old co-worker who STILL doesn't know how to read an analog clock.
He also doesn't have a driver's licence, lives in his parent's basement playing Call of Duty, and hangs out with (and acts like) people high school age
He doesn't know our first president (or any, for that matter other than Barack and Donald), the difference between a continent and a country, or what time zones are. Your 15 year old classmate seems to share his traits of not have ANY drive to learn or do anything new.
Midgetstroke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeh, this one of the not so bright kids in the class. Plus im pretty sure he smokes weed during breaks
SteelMemes1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was he kicked out of school?
Ey_mon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It takes me a bit to read analogue, with how little I see them. I pause just long enough for people to assume I can't read it.
Youtoo2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he knows the word analog, he was fucking with you
Midgetstroke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:25:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't say analogue, he just said 'i dont know how to tell that time'. I put analogue for better wording.
Raichu7 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:48:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the parents fault, not the kids. I was only taught analogue time and I can't read digital. I've tried to understand it but I have to subtract 12 from the number to know what hour it is.
Edit: I'd like to add that if a digital clock has the option of showing 12 hour time obviously I'll use it but not all clocks do, more often than not it's only 24 hours and if it's a clock in a public place I can't go pressing buttons on it to make it show 12 hours.
Straitface ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:00:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really can't tell if you're being legit or not, but I'm so curious so I'm going to respond.
What?
Raichu7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On an analogue clock 5pm is shown as 5. On a digital clock with 24 hours 5pm is shown as 17:00. I can't look at 17 and know it means 5, I have to subtract 12 from 17 to get the number 5 and know the time is 5pm.
Straitface ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I didn't even consider that. I'm American, all of the clocks I've ever seen go to twelve and then jump back to one. I can see how yours would get confusing! Honestly I just assumed you would just think of time as 24 hours instead of 2 12-hour blocks.
Edymnion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:31:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turn the digital clock over. Press the button to switch it from base 24 to base 12.
Problem solved.
Farqueue- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda how everyone does it though to start. Nice quick way to do it is to subtract only 2 hrs, then ignore the leading 1 (or change from 2 to 1 if past 10pm)...
Long term you just do the calculation quicker/sub consciously.
ebc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You seem to be a bit confused. A digital clock is simply a clock that displays the time digitally (as in with numerals), as opposed to an analog clock, where the time is indicated by the positions of rotating hands. What you are talking about is 24hr time where instead of referring to time with two rotations of 12 hours they simply use 24 hours. A digital clock does not at all need to be set to 24hr time.
roboninja ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 14:30:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it is not. A digital clock can only go to 12 as well, with an AM/PM indicator. Sounds like you have very limited experience with digital clocks.
TheadraNadler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:43:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on where you live. We in germany, for example, don't have a concept like am and pm for times. We haveword for it, afternoon (nachmittag) and before noon (vormittag). But we don't have abbrevations and we don't use them on our digital clocks. (Well you can sometimes, but then you have to remember what time of the day it is.)
qtx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:21:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's you have very limited experience with digital clocks. Most (if not all) digital clocks have a 24 or 12 option.
LazarjevPolzek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe like: now is 15:00, so he subtrack 12. 15 - 12 = 3. So time is 3 pm.
LarryfromFinance ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:22:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its the fact that they referred to 24hr time as 'digital', not the math that's the problem.
D-Evolve ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:54:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's military time. You can also get 12hr digital clocks as well.
popsickle_in_one ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:00:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, it's 24hr time.
"military time" is slightly different.
Jewfro193 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:27:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't military time just 24h but said as numbers? Like 2pm would be 14:00 in 24h but 1400 (fourteen hundred) hours in military?
cdemski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It's basically the same thing, unless s/he is referring to Zulu time which is based on GMT if I recall correctly. In which case Zulu isn't typically used in day-to-day work unless you're involved with flight or something else that requires it.
beetnemesis ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:29:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the sense that military time doesn't use colons? How else is it different?
IamGimli_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it's just "time".
DrArsone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No that's miller time, "24hr" time is different
D-Evolve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good point.
beetnemesis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:29:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fyi "digital" is just any clock with a number readout. It doesnt have to say 17:00 or whatever
Toxicitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're doing it right.
EpicScizor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had some girls in High School with the same problem when we were learning the clock in Spanish.
Tables61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've taught (or partially taught) at least 3 kids aged 15-16 to read the time from an analogue clock in the last two years, and several others in lower years. I'm aware of plenty of other kids who still can't tell the time from an analog clock. It's a skill that most already know, and most of the rest will get taught it at least partially in interventions and other stuff, but for some it just doesn't stick.
Since we live in a digital world, a decent number of kids just don't bother. They would rather sneak a look at their phone to check the time, rather than learn the skill.
lordover123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he knew the name of it
ObviousLobster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I self taught myself analogue clocks when I was a freshman in high school. No one had ever bothered teaching me before and I had never bothered asking. It was easy to learn obviously but people are still flabbergasted to learn that I didn't know how to do that until high school.
sdega315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a middle school. It is increasingly common for kids not to be able to read an analog clock face. They also do not understand phrases like "Quarter past one" or "Quarter to three." And many of them literally can't tie their shoes! (But that's a whole other discussion.)
CoolShorts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh geez I didn't learn how to actually read one of those until I was like 22
CrazyFloridian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a hard thing for kids to learn nowadays, since you never really see analog clocks. Teachers probably don't push it as hard as they should for that reason. I helped out with a third grade class that was learning it, it just takes practice and patience.
thepinkyandthebrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a dick
MaxwelsLilDemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked an 18 year old guy for the time because he was wearing a fake plastic gold analog watch and he just put the watch to my face claiming he didnt know how to read it........
NYGalz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter is 21 and still doesn't get analog. I'll say its 20 after 11 and she will ask me to tell her the real time.. lol.
LethalPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My GF can't tell time on an analog clock very well either. She's always an hour off and she's 27.
xthek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
of all the things to be a thing of the past...
punis_mightier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This could actually be a sign for a learning disability: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyscalculia
Notmiefault ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I don't think that's a stupid question so much as a "no one ever bothered to teach me this oddly specific piece of information".
cougarknight18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once told a teacher that. The whole class spent 10 minutes "teaching" me analogue. I knew but had ten minutes less of class.
Spoojje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl who I know who is probably 18 by now can't tell the time.
Drougen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I'm reading through these. I have a kid that's 3 years old and I never thought about it. Guess she was telling me the truth when she said she NEEDED a pink shopkins watch.
getsome13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 26 year old sister in law doesnt know how to read an analog clock.
She also thought sharks lived in lake michigan....so, there's that.
violated_tortoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was doing A levels, (4-5 years ago) my school which taught pupils of ages 11-19 waa preparing to replace all of the analog clocks with digital ones. Their reasoning was "it discriminates against children who can't read analog clocks"
DotComCTO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?! My son is 15, and he knows how to read an analog clock. We taught him at home, and his teachers taught that in kindergarten or first grade! Holy smokes!
ThermoPacMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, shit, I'd take analogue over digital any day. I don't often use digital, even though it's the format generally used on most pieces of media.
I think it's just so much easier!
anacondatmz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is crazy. How on earth did he count down the minutes until class was over each day?
ineffable_future ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up before people had digital clocks/watches (who remembers the whole LED vs LCD debate?) and it was YEARS before I knew what they meant when (old) people said things like, "We'll eat dinner at a quarter of six." Quarter of? WTF? Bad old days.
NiceTryKemosabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is surprisingly common these days. My cousin wasn't taught how to read analogue and made it through Junior High without ever learning. I even tried to teach him once and he basically said there was no point thanks to digital clocks being everywhere (on our phones etc.). Eventually he and his friends figured it out, but it wasn't until high school...
roman_fyseek ยท 368 points ยท Posted at 14:59:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A wise old Master Sergeant once told me, "I would rather answer a stupid question than fix a stupid mistake."
Just something to keep in mind.
ReallyHadToFixThat ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:37:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least people asking are trying to learn. Still, hearing 40 year old women amazed that yes, electronic devices do need to be switched on to work always grates.
Leeonardo_di_Enfield ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:11:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CPU uptime: 137 days and counting. "What do you mean restart?!"
After an hour of walking them through a printer installation, confirming that it is on 17 times: "Does it need to be plugged in? It says wireless, and I pressed the On button..."
Sunfried ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:49:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good attitude to have when all of your students are armed, and often new to the guns they have.
somersettler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:55:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise, I'd rather ask a stupid question than have to fess up to a stupid mistake.
sedatedstrawberry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a very good mindset to have.
formative_informer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now go and get me 3 feet of flight line from the toolbox.
FocusedADD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until you play that one on Chongo and he comes back with three feet of tarmac from the flight line.
TheLittleChink ยท 1678 points ยท Posted at 11:44:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher (sorry) but when I was doing GCSE (UK qualification for 14-16 year-olds) music, the idiot of the class asked, "Sir, you know for our compositions, yeah? Do we, like, have to make it up?"
No. No, you can transcribe your favourite song and get full marks. Yes, do that.
BlueBokChoy ยท 978 points ยท Posted at 13:22:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair on the idiot, you can just pull a I-IV-V chord progression directly from your arse and get to top 40.
TheLittleChink ยท 552 points ยท Posted at 13:31:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor I-IV-V. The chap definitely would not have known what that is... He was the kid who brought weed into class to brag to the teache (because he thought he was cool and wasn't going to rat him out to senior staff...) and did GCSE music just to create dubstep. Shame we had to study "boring shitty fake classical music"
BlueBokChoy ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 13:39:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wat? As in orchestral pieces for film?
TheLittleChink ยท 165 points ยท Posted at 13:45:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were studying Chopin's Raindrop Prelude when this gem was spouted out. He was the sort of kid who thought dubstep was the only true form of music because it was only thing he liked.
BlueBokChoy ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 13:58:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OFHXmiZP38
I can kinda understand what he means, I guess from his perspective classical music is orchestral and this sounds like a classical music composition (which it is); and I guess he really likes the changes in timbre in dubstep which is harder to see in many other musical forms. depending on what he's seen so far, there might not be much syncopation either.
Or people shouting "
DIALCALL 911!"lost_sock ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 15:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought they translated that song in the UK to "call 0118 999 881 999 119 725โฆ3!"
Ms4sman ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:39:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's easy to remember.
BlueBokChoy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:35:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice : )
Context : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab8GtuPdrUQ
lost_sock ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:43:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
I can kind of see his point. Classical music takes a certain mindset for me (usually studying late at night) that wouldn't be compatible with being in high school or trying to show off in front of your friends.
TheLittleChink ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:47:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we all wished he actually thought that deeply...in his mind, classical music is all "boring shit stuff" (we still quote him at school reunions) and he couldn't understand why anyone liked it and not the "dirty bass" of dubstep. Bear in mind his hilarious opinion of classical music was universal for anything that anyone could call classical, whether it's actually classical or not.
Powerpuff_God ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:36:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He should listen to All Is Hell That Ends Well (including the end part). That might shake him up a little.
Jippijip ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:35:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of many reasons I think it's worth exposing students to the full range of classical sounds, as early as possible. A lot of people just don't understand the variety encompassed by the genre!
https://youtu.be/4zsCXt36wJM
Nomnomnommer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what did you just make me listen to, and why did i finish the video?
Chewy96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain this to me.
Jippijip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:17:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I don't know much about how to interpret the piece myself; I just kind of picked the first example of very "different" classical music I could think of off the top of my head. I guess it evokes either an interesting synergy or an interesting conflict between man and machine, the analog and the digital, the old and the new. The title also suggests some sort of distortion of popular ideas, but I'd have to think on it some more. Avant-garde classical music is a lot like modern art in that it can depend heavily on viewer (listener) interpretation.
Perhaps I should have picked a more palatable (?) example of the modern stuff. For example, Caroline Shaw's Partita for 8 Voices changed my life with its emotional directness and raw joy. Or something that's barely classical at all like Terry Riley's A Rainbow in Curved Air, which could just as easily be on a Pink Floyd album. The last century saw classical music break free of the traditions that dominated it for hundreds of years, and that gave it a lot of freedom to expand in every direction imaginable (while still continuing the old traditions to an extent, of course). It's a shame that a lot of people simply equate it with the 18th and 19th centuries.
Anyway, I hope I've piqued someone's interest with this. There's a lot of sounds out there to experience.
Jess_than_three ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so then what the hell does the term "classical music" actually mean?
Jippijip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Music composed in the greater tradition of European Art music? Generally (though not as a rule) classical composers are trained in a specific way and operate either in the traditions of the past (In the 1950's for example, think Shostakovich, Bartok, Martinu) or by trying to further the art in the avant-garde (Boulez, Stockhausen, Cage). It's an incredibly broad term, and I think it's misrepresentation to consider it one genre.
Furthermore, it's worth remembering that the concept of genre is kind of artificial in general. Electronic music has its origins in the experimentation of classical composers in the 50's, and there's no clear line of where it becomes its own genre. In the same way, minimalist music and psychedelic rock fade together in places, and of course there's endless borrowing all over the place. There's 2 ways to approach this: Either we can use broad sweeping genres that don't fit their contents perfectly, but make the content as a whole easy to talk about, or we can go the route I've been noticing more and more lately of piling subgenres upon subgenres to specify exactly what we mean at the cost of making it harder to communicate what we're talking about to people who aren't necessarily as familiar with it.
Jess_than_three ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I totally get your second paragraph - metal being a great example of both parts, drawing a lot from what I would have considered to be "classical music", and also being split into a million thousand (semi-)discrete subgenre.
But your first paragraph mystifies me. How do the things you linked fit into that? And what distinguishes the first example from shitty electronica that isn't "classical", or the last from, as you say, Pink Floyd as not "classical"? What does the tradition you refer to mean, and does your use of the term in this way really mean anything?
Jippijip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've struggled with this a lot, actually. Where to draw the lines of classical music to me feels like asking where this image stops being red, and it's something I still wrestle with when I organize my library.
To specifically address the pieces I've linked earlier, Caroline Shaw's is probably the most "conventional" classical music. She's currently pursuing a PhD in composition at Princeton and won the Pulitzer prize in music for the Partita in 2013. Stefan Prins, who composed the very first piece I linked, is similarly a student in composition. Formal training in composition is definitely a criterion, and an important one. Though there are stories of composers starting with no formal training, like Toru Takemitsu and John Cage, it's hard to stay isolated in the collaborative world of classical music. It seems you inevitably become a part of the tradition by interacting with your peers. Notable exceptions include outsiders like Moondog and Harry Partch.
Where the boundaries get blurry (as with the Riley piece), I find it useful to look at the composer's past works. What a piece sounds like is only one part of its identity - it can and should also be placed in the context of pieces that led to it and those it influenced. Terry Riley was a founding member of the minimalist movement, with works like in C and the Harp of New Albion. Riley got heavily involved in the hippie movement, and from there I'm not exactly sure as to who borrowed from whom, but what emerged is what I posted earlier. I'd say that personally what makes him classical, though I'll admit that it's cross-listed in my library.
Modern electronic music comes in part from the avant-garde of the 50's and 60's, buy you're right that that's not the whole story. With the creation of the Moog synthesizer in the 60's, the ability to make electronic music slowly became more widely available, and it was rapidly popularized in the 70's largely through Disco. However, the avant-garde has deceptively far-reaching influences. It's not random that Karlheinz Stockhausen, one of the first composers to work with electronic music, is one of the faces on the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club.
But I digress. You can probably tell that it's something that I'm very interested in exploring, and I'd love to hear your views on the subject.
Edit: I think a very similar or at least related question is what is art? If someone lies face-down on the floor naked for 2 hours and films it, it clearly has completely different intentions and execution from, say, a 16th-century Dutch painter. Are they even the same thing anymore? Is it worth using the same word for both?
richalex2010 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess he wasn't a big Halo fan, one of my favorite Halo 3 trailers featured that piece.
https://youtu.be/tuRvqbNWwz4
kung-fu_hippy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:03:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never really thought I liked (or disliked) orchestral/classical music until I realized how many of my favorite videogame and movie soundtracks were just that.
StealthyOwl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:01:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn i would have loved to study that piece. It's my favorite classical music piece.
ABCDOMG ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peripetie made me want to kill myself.
spoderdan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:20:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought Peripetie was alright. Couldn't stand And The Glory of the Lord though.
Edit: Man music was a fun time. I just totally ripped off Electric Counterpoint for my composition and got an A*
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing beats something's coming
ABCDOMG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The old "A* for composition and E for theory" method I went through eh?
Grace was the best thing in the whole set for me.
sojoe17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he would've preferred the Drop Top Prelude.
Angel_Hunter_D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was really into the wub wub stuff, eh? First time I heard that shit I thought the subwoofer was on the fritz.
tinfins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid may be failing the class, but he's acing being a chav.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
chopin is fucking top draw as far as gcse set works go. I don't remember anything about any set work apart from chopin
Orcwin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:13:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hardly fair, there are plenty of orchestral works for film that are quite decent. Calling film composers fake would mean excluding composers like Holst as well, who were essentially already doing the same thing before film music even existed.
BlueBokChoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to understand what "fake classical" could mean coming out of the mouth of an idiotic 15 year old boy.
TheLittleChink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We've been trying to understand still 5 years on and none of us can yet...
Stringtone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:11:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, learning better composition skills for production was part of why I decided to take AP Music Theory, but I actually appreciate classical music (and play a ton of viola music to boot) so I'm not sure what this kid was expecting. Without experience on an actual instrument, it's hard to do well in a class like that.
TheLittleChink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
VIOLATOR!
ThatEconomicsGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a former classmate of mine. Now his Instagram is filled with him on a dubstep your in the USA, so I guess he's doing pretty great.
vaska00762 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did he do for the performance part? Surely he had to play an instrument competently or at least sing...
TheLittleChink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly don't know what he did since our performances were done individually in private at the time. I know he got a G for performance so god knows what he did...
vaska00762 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had to do performances in front of the class for "practice". It was an exercise in not warming up and then playing a piece that was probably easily messed up. At the time, one classmate complained that I flipped the bird at him while playing.
Uh-huh...
Ask_me_about_my_horn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"boring shitty fake classical music"
-Richard Strauss, c. 1912
3internet5u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair I took music theory for the sole purpose of making electronic music and sometimes even something that could be regarded as simply as "beats".
So dont rip on him for that, bringing weed to brag to a teacher though? lmao what a dumbass
TheLittleChink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not ripping on him for that purpose, just more his concept on what studying music "should" be about. He just wasn't really made for music, to be honest. To his credit, he was amazing at geography even if he hated it...
3internet5u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Understandable, the rise of the self-promoted internet artist has given tons of people aspirations in music for all the wrong reasons it seems.
Oh boy I can't even imagine the logic that he had to place digital sound design above music theory.
That is like engineering heat resistant paint for a car that doesn't even exist yet lol
OctaShot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows that Renaissance music is more mentally stimulating. Beethoven has nothing on Palestrina! /s
Simsimius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Out of curiosity, what was his final grade?
TheLittleChink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U (a fail). He got a G in performance and Us for composition and written exam.
littleski5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol so is this how Skrillex started?
OmegaLiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair dubstep shares a lot of commonality with serialist music which is a branch of romantic.
huttyblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't exactly hail dubstep as the one and only but I also cannot stand classical music. Maybe because the only time I heard it was when I was forced to by some music teacher or parent, maybe not. Its not only boring, it literally gives me headaches.
That was a major factor to why I didn't get into music classes at my university. Not only did they focus on classical music, they also required that you take 2 classes playing a band instrument. This https://savantofficial.bandcamp.com/album/zion is the style of music I want to learn to make. That requires learning musical software, advanced synth work. Creating new sounds. All of the classes that focused on that were locked behind a 3 year gate of musical torture.
So, yeah, i can understand where he is coming from.
Music wise, I know how to play the piano and was playing band clarinet while in middleschool. I stopped doing band in highschool to peruse other drawing classes instead. Lately I found the (very good) FL-studio mobile app and that has revitalized my interest in music.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I-IV-V-V7-I master race
TheLittleChink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All about VIM7-VII6-i ..........
kick6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All that making of instruments over hundreds of years was a mere precursor to recording toilet noises over a beat, and shaving half your head.
philosarapter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In that kid's defense dubstep is far more likely to make him famous than learning classical.
Although, I'd love to see a fusion of the two genres. It'd probably sound terrible.
ProgHog231 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:14:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Add a vi, and there's no way you won't have a megahit.
Ezmar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:04:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really any combination of I, IV, V and vi. They all flow into one another well, and it's easy to understand the harmonic structure for listeners.
There's nothing wrong with using those chords, either. People talk about how it makes everything sound the same, but almost all music relies on those chords to some extent.
Of course, this also means that it's not a surefire way to write a hit song. Plenty of crappy songs use the same chords. Harmony isn't a particularly hard part of songwriting. What makes or breaks a song is rhythm.
eddiemon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can respect many different schools of thought when it comes to music but this is just wrong. Rhythm is certainly part of the equation but harmony and melody is by far the more distinguishing feature of a piece of music. For one, just from a mathematical standpoint, there really aren't that many tricks you can play with rhythm phrasing compared to the sheer number of permutations and sequences in which you can combines notes.
Just because a piece of music uses the same chords doesn't mean it's "easy" to make good music with them. Take a relatively simple sounding song like Over the Rainbow and break down its harmony. You'll still find plenty of nuance and artistry in how the song writer chooses to create tension and resolution.
https://www.hooktheory.com/theorytab/view/arlen-and-harburg/over-the-rainbow
Ezmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more talking in a "it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing" kind of sense. The melody and notes are important in making the music unique, but I feel like good rhythm is what really defines a piece as "boring" or "interesting".
There are always exceptions, of course, but the best songwriters and composers throughout history have had a strong sense of rhythm. I'm considering things like tempo, dynamics, and such as all being a part of the piece's overall sense of "rhythm".
eddiemon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to say, and I don't mean to be insulting, but that's just absolutely not true. First of all, dynamics and rhythm are completely different things - You can't just lump them together.
Second of all, there are countless pieces of music, both good and bad, that just happen to have essentially the same rhythm. By contrast, you'll find that you'd be very, very hard pressed to find two pieces of music with the same melodic/harmonic composition coincidentally, distinguished solely by their rhythm, but one "good" and the other "bad".
Listen to anything by JS Bach for example, and you'll find that rhythmically speaking, there's almost nothing interesting going on - His musical mastery is expressed entirely in the counterpoints and harmony of his pieces. There is no counterpart of an equivalent musical genius who is or was solely brilliant at rhythmic composition because the creative space is just much more limiting.
I'm not saying rhythm is not an important part of musical composition at all, but it most definitely takes second place to melody/harmony, both in the perception of the average audience, and in musical criticism.
Ezmar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:09:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dynamics and rhythm are closely related, at least much more closely related than dynamics and tone.
I'm not making a sweeping statement here, saying that rhythm is the only thing that gives a song quality. I'm simply saying that rhythm is what gives music its form, and what grabs someone's ear. It's not an objective good vs bad thing.
I would argue that Bach has rhythm to spare. That's what I was saying when it comes to including dynamics in rhythm, even straight 8th or 16th note patterns have a rhythm to them as expressed by their accents, and their placement tonally. Not sinply what the notes are, but where they fall in the spectrum of high-low, and how patterns are played with. All that is tied to the rhythm of the piece.
I maintain that one cannot be a great musician without having a solid feel for rhythm. I'd much rather listen to a percussion piece with no tonal sounds whatsoever than listen to random tones that are simply harmonious. Regardless, my comment was initially geared towards the sentiment that pop music is "all the same chords". Sure, you can slap something together with those chords and call it a day, but the rhythm is a much more critical component of pop music than the harmonies, particularly with dance tunes, for obvious reasons.
vortexofdoom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:25:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You lost me when you said Bach had nothing interesting going on rhythmically. Rhythm is far more than the note values that a piece is comprised of. It's the underlying pulse you feel, enforced by dynamics like accents and larger scale contrasts between loud and soft.
Bach's fugues are brilliant not only because of their harmony, but because of the interplay between the voices. Bach without any interesting rhythm is just a plain old chorale, and though his chorales are gorgeous, they're far from why he's considered a genius. Show me an interpretation of Bach without pulse and I'll show you a bad interpretation of Bach.
I think rhythm is tremendously undervalued and under-noticed in the classical world, possibly because the performance traditions of many conductors and soloists are to play fast and loose with any sense of it. So many great pieces lose all momentum that way.
Listen to the beginning of Mahler's 2nd symphony. Not a whole lot of melody or harmony to speak of (to be clear, in any piece with notes there will be some form of melody and in anything with multiple notes at the same time you can call it harmony, but the part in question is not either terribly melodic or harmonic), what drives it is rhythm. And even when those beautiful melodic lines and that lush romantic harmony start developing, that rhythm is still driving. I think without that rhythmic drive this would be one of the most boring pieces I could think of.
Another example would be Beethoven's 5th. That amazing beginning is not very melodic and is almost entirely in c minor. That pulse though, it drives it on. You could recognize a huge amount of Beethoven's stuff by the rhythm alone, and in fact he uses a huge number of motives that have repeated notes with the rhythm actually being the main distinguishing factor.
ClarinetCourtet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are examples of good and bad rhythm?
Ezmar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's subjective, like most things regarding music, but to state some examples from my personal opinion, I'd say that "we wish you a Merry Christmas" is pretty boring rhythmically, whereas "Jingle Bells" has a lot more rhythm.
This is just my opinion, of course.
sbrevolution5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically if its catchy or not, although thats a very subjective question.
JC_Frost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was always a big fan of I-vi-IV-V. The only chord I think pop music needs more of is the ii chord. I mainly listen to rock stuff, like 2000s not-heavy rock, and I notice a TON on vi-IV-I-V in it, which I hate. Don't know why.
Ezmar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ii actually serves a similar harmonic function to IV. There's some theory behind it, but I don't remember the whole thing. If I recall, at one point, IV was actually considered an alternative for ii.
It may not be IV, but I'm 100% positive it shares the same harmonic function as one of the other chords.
JC_Frost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah yeah, that's definitely the case. The vi chord leads to both ii and IV reliably, and the ii and IV both lead to V reliably
290077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, ii-IV-I-V is almost as common as vi-IV-I-V
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I-VI-ii-V also works wonderfully
Kyoopy2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Music has a lot more room for depth than just chords though. You could also pull an entire Beethoven symphony out of your ass using just I IV V.
dokh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You do still have to fit a melody line to the chords, or the lead vocalist will have nothing to do.
BlueBokChoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Root , perfect fifth, perfect fourth, root.
Repeat ad nauseam.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's I-V-VI-IV.
BlueBokChoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just assume my chord progression? :P
blazinazn007 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:46:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U2 did it so I don't see why not? (I actually like U2)
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 13:34:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlueBokChoy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:38:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://profoundlorerecords.bandcamp.com/track/the-line-always-snaps (2012)
https://profoundlorerecords.bandcamp.com/track/black-memory (2016)
Dude, we're living in a golden age of music. Top 40 has always been crappy I-IV-V chord progressions and songs about having sex. I'm sorry, songs about "put the hot poker into the fire, yeah, yeah, yeah; Woah, woah , woah". On the internet, especially on bandcamp, the greatest musicians of our age have a voice and an ability to make some money.
Look for some good new music you're interested and you can find it. It's not just metal, there's great new jazz, hip hop and electronic music too.
Ezmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:08:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bohemian Rhapsody's progression is I-vi-IV-V for the first two verses and chorus.
You can't really write a song without using those chords. It will sound really strange if you don't. More accessible music is going to use more accessible progressions.
deliciouscorn ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:00:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who was performing his composition to the class on trombone when the guy next to him said "Isn't that the He-Man song?!"
He would've gotten away with it too if that guy didn't rat him out.
MudnuK ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:19:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of me. Never did music GCSE but almost all of years 7 and 8 involved learning what each piece of notation meant and then the instrumental make-up and brief social histories of a few music genres. Then we were asked to write a piece of music, having been taught nothing about actual compositional techniques. Seemed like such a strange jump to make, suddenly being asked to pull a composition out of our asses.
It was like being shown all these paintings by famous artists, then told to go make our own. How? All you've done is shown me pieces far better than anything I can hope to make, then not told me how to make them!
TheLittleChink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the one thing that's difficult with teaching composition. There isn't really a way to "teach" it as such, some people just can do it, some people just can't. Those that can, yes, you can teach them techniques for them to adapt and etc but if someone just isn't one to compose, teaching techniques won't really mean much.
It's kind of like the marmite of music as a subject. In the earlier years where the subject is more general, you need to include it in. For those who don't/can't compose, it's a hated section. For those who can, it's an easy set of marks.
conalfisher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:48:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be honest, usually with my compositions I just make a cover of a done from a video game and get A's all around.
Lizzie7493 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you're saying that you learn to compose music in school? Damn, I knew I whould have been born in the UK.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:01:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you decide to take music, yes there's a bit of comp. wouldn't be much of a music course otherwise..
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Writing an arrangement for an existing song seems like a valid exercise. I don't think that's a completely dumb question.
TheLittleChink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have expanded on context. The composition brief he chose was Britpop so he had to write an original song in the Britpop style. Of course, arrangements are a different and valid thing (if allowed) but he definitely asked in the context of note-for-note.
Tregavin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna just assume your class knew what compositions were ahead of time because what you said made no immediate sense as to why his question was dumb...
TheLittleChink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, compositions are a part of the assessments so we all knew. He...just wasn't the bright spark in the class...
luffy300mb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... i... didn't know the answer.
I'm 17 in school in the UK.
Sigh
AllTaints18 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:32:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, unless you live in a vacuum any music composed now is pretty much a copy of something else, no?
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 12:38:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheLittleChink ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:01:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily. I'm an amateur orchestral composer and while yes, we do take a lot of influence from past composers and our music can easily resemble other composers, a lot of new material is coming out and you can often tell a composer by the sound and feel of the music.
BlueFalconPunch ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:35:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no, my song goes "dun dun dun Dunn dun dadun" their song goes "dun dun Dunn dun dadun dun" see it's totally different--Vanilla Ice
ltocadisco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody should hang that jerk by his ankles out the window.
BlueFalconPunch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
word to your mother
FUZxxl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, try this: Threnody for the victims of Hiroshima. There is original music out there, it's often kinda bizarre though.
Melkrow2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:13:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what the hell u just said. You sound like a prick though
TheLittleChink ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:34:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I won't deny that.
mcChinglies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Edwards is that you?
JeffThePenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, that's exactly what I did. As did my bestfriend. We just played a cover of a lesser known song and hoped our teacher didn't know it. She did not. We got A's.
TheLittleChink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky...my teacher was very well knowledgeable so there was no getting past him.
KerbalSpaceExplorer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, just from that dialogue, let me guess; West Midlands?
TheLittleChink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
East Mid.
Elopeppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have found him something like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EF_xdvn52As
Btw all the dubstep is done with a guitar, bass, and drums. Lots of effects on them, but it's not done with a laptop like most dubstep. Also the orchestral stuff is all wrote by the bands singer, who is classically trained singer, guitarist, and pianist.
FlashUK1983 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I girl in my music lessons actually did that.
She handed it in a week before it was due, because a lot if us did, and she thought that was when it was due. Got caught out, opened the flood gates and was given an opportunity to re-do it, but assisted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious. Never had this come up in my class..... though I think I might be the idiot of the class, given that I'm a fairly subpar drummer meawhile everyone else has like grade 5 theory and grade 7 piano
iucundus_acerbus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did GCSE music and I remember we had done "theme and variation" composition projects in earlier terms (one was taking twinkle twinkle little star and composing five variations, for example.) So if we were to give them the benefit of the doubt they might have been referring to something like this, in which case it's not necessarily such a stupid question.
TheLittleChink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did the Britpop one first (the Theme and Variations bit was second).
capncrooked ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 15:33:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have something related to this...
Back in high school, a younger kid (we were 17, he was 15) I would see occasionally in the library came over and started talking to my friend and me.
We had been discussing pizza toppings, and meats came up. My friend said he likes pepperoni on pizza, and without missing a beat - totally deadpan and serious, this kid said "pepperoni's not a meat, you idiot. It's a type of ham."
We started laughing, thinking he was kidding, but he had that puzzled look on his face, questioning why we were laughing.
I_AM_PLUNGER ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:41:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never knew how many people thought "meat" was JUST beef and that everything else was whatever it was, until I started carving meat on the buffet for a wedding venue. People would come up and I'd say "beef tenderloin or x" (sometimes pork loin, ham, turkey etc.), and they'd say "the meat, please." The first couple of times all I could think was is this person fucking with me? After that I went about a year saying "it's all meat, which one do you want?" Before realizing people, for some reason, think only beef is meat.
A_Drusas ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:34:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here I thought it was odd that most people think fish isn't meat.
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:11:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is odd.
albions-angel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:43:44 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Though that at least has some historical context. Large dinners tended to have separate meat and fish courses, and white fish is much lighter in texture than most poultry and red meats. Separating fish from "meat", and sometimes "meat" from poultry or game bird makes sense.
But I agree, its the flesh of a living animal, in broad terms its squarely in the MEAT category of the MEAT and VEG selections.
wyerae ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:14:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my sister in law came to visit recently and my husband started telling a story making fun of how many people seem to think that chicken isn't meat. Totally seriously, his sister says, "well isn't isn't really meat" and proceeded to explain to us why it isn't meat.
I can't believe how many otherwise smart, functioning people think this.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:57:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was her explanation?
wyerae ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:26:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that chickens weren't considered meat under the original Jewish kosher laws and some complicated explanation about it being lower cholesterol/saturated fat than beef. We tried to argue that whatever level of fat and however it is categorized under old kosher laws, you still have to kill a live animal to eat chicken, but somehow that didn't compute.
People have similar arguments about fish--"I'm vegetarian--I don't eat meat, just fish and veggies..." ugh.
MorwenLeFaye ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:01:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sisters friend once asked where the meat on an animal was. When they said "It's mostly meat" she said "No! There's muscle, fat, bones, organs and meat!". And she wasn't even the only friend like that my sister had in that group. One couldn't point out Germany on a world map, kept pointing around Russia.
notsowittyname86 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:33:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a first year biology lab partner like this. She also thought she was "going to be a doctor" like 75% of 19 year old bio majors. She scoffed at me as a mature student going back for a second degree to teach highschool bio.
She's not "going to be a doctor" anymore.
aussie-vault-girl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've taught ppl like that
ManintheMT ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:29:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to ask this question of my dad when I was about 5 or 6. I am thinking to myself, animals contain muscles, bones, organs etc, but I was confused as to where "the meat" was. Thankfully he told me the truth, that it was the muscles.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
policesiren7 ยท 18593 points ยท Posted at 12:33:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I have one or two of these....
In a sex ed class: "Do vaginas have tastebuds?"
Everyone looks at him like wtf is going through your head...
"Well why else would the make flavored condoms?"
Edit: 1. RIP my inbox.
(2) Fixed up the grammatical issue. I do apologize if it upset anyone. It wasn't intentional.
(3) Then a bit more context. This didn't take place in like grade 6. We were about 16. It wasn't some kid who might not have known. The guy who asked it was reasonably sexually experienced.
(4) Arsenal.
spacemanspiff30 ยท 13209 points ยท Posted at 12:52:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Logic is sound on that one.
Wallstreetk3nny ยท 1222 points ยท Posted at 14:28:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Airtight! But, I'm also glad penises don't have taste buds. I'd put my dick on everything
FacelessRuin ยท 1219 points ยท Posted at 14:42:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The dude who fucked a McChicken would have enjoyed it that much more.
paulusmagintie ยท 1141 points ยท Posted at 15:21:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anal would suck tho
[deleted] ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 16:14:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you do it right, you're not supposed to have shit inside your ass when you're getting fucked in it, if you do you're gonna get the old slime sausage when you pull out.
Jenga_Police ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 16:57:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally clicked this the other day, and I've been debating whether or not it was immoral to share it. I decided I don't deserve to suffer alone.
Relevant
Edit: NSFW for the reading comprehension impaired.
icon0clasm ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 17:02:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T CLICK
rata2ille ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 18:10:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I read your warning and then fucking click? I knew what was coming. I'm eating lunch. Why, brain?
thenonlurker ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:34:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the exact same thing, natural curiosity.
BigBadAsh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
clicked it even after your reaction. i'm also drinking lentil soup right now.
still tasty.
Ottomtx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:33:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Highly recommend you listen to this comment.
jack10303 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is it?
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:52 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not clicking, thanks.
NotUrAvrgNarwhal ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm drinking a 1600 calorie chocolate peanut butter protein shake right now.... God damn this shake is tasty.
Clueless_and_Skilled ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:01:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imma just go ahead and toss a NSFW out there for anyone thinking of clicking that link.
rata2ille ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:10:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFL
Jenga_Police ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:04:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude that was implied by my moral debate about letting anyone else see it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.
Underachieving_Teen ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:07:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have seen hell and it is not pretty
AdityaRav ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:33:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally, "fuck that shit"
zoobearr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:21:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit
liberonscien ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:27:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to go look at kittens now.
Warhawk2052 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why have you done this to me.
lolzasaur84 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like the dude was waiting for this to happen. I swear, the shit people are into...
TheRealLilB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck.
1pngti2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nooooooooooo!!!!!!! Why?!?!?! Curiosity just ruined my brain
Viking_Lordbeast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, if it weren't for all that doody that would be a pretty good anal sex gif.
cornshit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/ClicksOnLinks
vape_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damn you immoral bastard you should have just suffered alone
Skylercoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell. NSFL. At all. haha
SixGun_Surge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, dude, WAT??? WHY?!? I fucking hate you so much right now, on a personal level.. I'd like to fuck you in the ass with a sandpaper condom while your Nana's reanimated corpse squats above you and farts gravedust and maggots into your mouth. That's how fucking upset your fucking gif made me.
1pngti2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:08 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great now that image is haunting me. But wow what a response! ๐
Jenga_Police ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:07:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2.7/10
CaptainMudwhistle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is like saying you can get all the saliva out of your mouth.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:59:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really... your rectum doesn't store shit until you need to go (that's the sensation of needing a shit), it's stored further up. You also don't have glands that produce shit either.
As long as you went for a shit in the last hour or so and you're clean, you'd be fine because there's no shit in there, it's just the rectal wall. If you wipe for ages because there's an endless amount of shit on the tissue or you feel like you've not finished going, you probably need more fibre in your diet so your turds come out clean and easy in 1 go, not leaving half of it inside you and all over your hole. That's just nasty. There might be a tiny amount really far inside but that's not really a common event and in any case you can use enemas etc to get that.
Source: Bi guy who knows what he's doing in the butt department.
CaptainMudwhistle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:32:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have proven to me that 99% of the shit can be removed from an ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can remove it all if you have explosive shits...! But yeah, a regular movement will empty you out well enough - if you're worried you can also clean yourself with water internally but it's not usually needed unless you have a shitty diet or something.
Also your username is very relevant. Mudwhistle is a great slang term for a butthole.
CtrlCCtrlVVVV ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feel the need to thank you for that, I was about a week away from Googling some weird stuff.
Scruzzer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:18:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot more tastes and smells other than shit going on, even when showered. I would not want taste buds on my cock all the time. Maybe just on occasion when feeling trashy.
Source: I have taste buds on my tongue and my tongue has tasted hairy manhole.
rata2ille ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question as another bi guy who doesn't do enough butt stuff: do you have to do an enema every time you have anal?
If so, how can you have spontaneous sex? Is it even healthy to do it that often? Doesn't it affect the bacteria in there negatively?
sagan_drinks_cosmos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a gay guy, let me say it's not that inconvenient. Definitely no enema is necessary unless you have an obsessive partner. The purpose of the rectum is to hold things, and the colon actually doesn't provide a continuous flow, but rather only moves periodically. Yes, that's why they call it a "bowel movement."
Spontaneous sex can be managed. The bottom just has to be proactive, asking themselves an hour or two beforehand whether they think sex is possible or probable. If so, why not take a discreet moment to take care of things, or at least rule out the possibility? Further, any conscientious top isn't going to mind if their partner needs to excuse themselves for a moment so they can both enjoy each other afterwards.
As for bacteria (other than STDs) I wouldn't worry about it. They'll grow back. No one gets deep enough to mess that ecology up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't, I've read it can screw up your insides (the bacteria) so I just avoid it.
If you've gone within the hour though you should be fine as long as you've got enough fibre in your diet.
tl;dr: the gun won't fire unless there's a round in the chamber and you'd know if there was
Ghotimonger ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:51:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, shit doesn't secrete from glands in your butt. Are you one of the students from this thread?
Clueless_and_Skilled ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:59:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you imagine how much worse constipation would be if it did work this way? That would bring a whole new definition to "Butt Plug."
cosimine ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:35:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rimming is a thing, though.
Jared_FogIe ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 16:25:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tasting just the outside of the butthole is not the same as tasting 2.79 inches inside it.
GreedyWarlord ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:33:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not 6 inches or a foot long?
Jared_FogIe ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:39:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The smaller the hands the bigger it looks.
GreedyWarlord ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:11:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uncle Jack?
ethanhe1029 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald trump?
corran450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Semi-relevant username
paulusmagintie ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:37:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
more people would stick their dick in a girls ass than rub their tongue around it, if you have taste buds on your dick then the stats would change to rimming being preferred.
kittycash23 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This McChicken tastes like shit
mfb- ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:24:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flavored condoms. Flavored inside.
Pvt_Lee_Fapping ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what you think.
thecartonreducer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ass to mouth ain't all that bad.
streety_J ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself
chodumadan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not to mention when you are being sucked off, you would go 'ewww garlic breath'.
tonyray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I'm assuming
FurTrader58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd just make your dick puke faster, if you know what I mean
bolecut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its only smellz
orangecrushin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you put a chocolate flavoured condom on.
ChandlerMc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's only smellz
V-Bomber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turn the flavoured condom inside out for anal. Voila! Cheese & Onion flavour Arseholes ๐
Cakejaws ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you could flush it out with like a strawberry yoghurt or something like that.
AdamBall1999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
for u
rednax1206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you use flavored condoms
Senappi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then it's usually called rimming.
catsnstuffz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eh
CabbieNamedAxel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be pretty shitty
Scooby207 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:32:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you haven't tasted a McChicken in a while haha.
FacelessRuin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:52:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't fucked anything in a while, either. McChicken never sounded so enticing.
Redxman30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the guy who fucked that gummy bear.
rata2ille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? How? They're too dense for that, no? You'd have to tunnel a hole first. Also you'd need a really small dick
TheArmchairSkeptic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one he fucked was one of the 5-pound giant ones. I doubt a dick small enough to successfully fuck a regular gummy bear even exists.
rata2ille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ask r/me_irl
funkmasterhexbyte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i told my lawyer to keep that a secret...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would like to keep repressing that I watched that several times
Hero2419 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:20:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same with the guy that fucked the giant gummy bear.
Rioraku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhhhh.....
context?
datchilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would bring a whole new meaning to anal
Scuba_Kay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the dude that fucked the gummy bear for reddit
badukhamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the guy who fucked a gummy bear.
Youngman86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would he really? :/
emu30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget gummy bear guy
JThoms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that guy that fucked a gummy bear.
anotoman123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:20 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or the guy who fucked that gummy bear.
Rutherfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
KingRodent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/evenwithcontext
merelyadoptedthedark ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:01:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dick isn't Frank's Red Hot. Please don't.
renegade_9 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Screw that, man. Sure you get to have some fun with it, but at the cost of tasting ball sweat all day? Hard pass.
dude_icus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:40:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
StatikSquid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a warm apple pie?
ELB95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe nobody else said this. I was expecting it to have so many more votes, and am thoroughly disappointed.
Largedump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd either get a lot of gay people leaving the cause or a lot of people would asking for shit at restaurants
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't anyways?
nagajolokiasquared ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have fun with something like jalapeno poppers!
Everyone I know who worked in kitchens has done this..."Prep this box of jalapenos? Right away chef! ...[chop chop slice slice]...I'm done, gotta go urinate"
And then cursing and screaming at the universe for forgetting to wash your hands BEFORE peeing. Genitals and capsasin should not mix kids...unless you have that kind of fetish.
KayBee10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No lie, I just peed myself a little
hitzchicky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just almost spit my salad all over my desk
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frank's Red Hot Dick. I put that dick on everything.
Ghitit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a one year old that puts everything in it's mouth.
A-noni-mouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have to disagree, sometimes it's like I can taste her vagina.
ScaryPillow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except when you do anal.
mainfingertopwise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course airtight - that's to protect against STDs and pregnancy.
RazzPitazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But everything would just taste like dick...
hairdyeginger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well American Pie just received an interesting new plot device
Hmoney720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminded me of Frank's Red Hot Sauce, I put that shit on everything.
CactusCustard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nocontext
SweetPennies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anal would become less common, that's for sure.
is_this_a_test ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or tongue hands
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jason Biggs had the same problem in those movies.
jlenney1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rub Your Dick on Expensive Shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOj8VUCwN0c
cubitfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having sex would be like going to Long John Silver's.
This_is_Troll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't already?
Royl3Jester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna know how i know your gay? Your shit tastes like dick
LeodFitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, like you don't do that already!
Matterplay ยท 5140 points ยท Posted at 14:28:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is true, when you think about it. Who the hell wears condoms when getting a BJ?
spacemanspiff30 ยท 3562 points ยท Posted at 14:35:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People visiting prostitutes?
justaddbooze ยท 3036 points ยท Posted at 14:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who the hell cares what it tastes like for a whore?
toastee ยท 1188 points ยท Posted at 14:47:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
people who don't want their dick to turn green and fall off?
doubt_me ยท 2526 points ยท Posted at 14:51:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he means she can suck it with a regular condom as well.
NotQuiteOnTopic ยท 670 points ยท Posted at 15:07:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But to truly be a Gentleman Caller, it's proper manners and politeness to use a flavored condom.
BearGryllsGrillsBear ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 15:34:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'Latex
Ham_Eel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:38:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why but this made me laugh out loud.
GroovinWithAPict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chivalry is not dead.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought they were for girls that smelled and tasted like the parts of the catch fisherman throw back crossed with keith richards infected hep heroin needles.
Wrap it, stick it in, and then pretend its a tastefully artful fruit bowl like your mom used to keep on the kitchen counter, less waxy but with your mom still downing her fifth bottle of wine and wondering why the divorce was faster this time in the background.
peaceshark ยท 159 points ยท Posted at 15:21:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ladies of the night
Need not fear this man's long dong
He wraps in cherry
Ubersupersloth ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 15:44:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a nice haiku
It made me laugh heartily
Your e-dick grows large
ThatGuyWhoEngineers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I make haikus too
They're enjoyable to read
Except this one here.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One two three four five
One two three four five seven
I can't count that good
RichWPX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Creature of the night
BlueHighwindz ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must also wear a satin glove while you smack dat booty.
temalyen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The interesting thing about this is, who provides the condom with a prostitute? Like, I can see both people wanting to use their own condom because they don't trust a condom from the other person. There's sick fucks out there who like tampering with condoms.
Dunkcity239 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I saw one she texted me on the way and said she was out, asked if I could bring some.
there_all_is_aching ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:32:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'prostitute.
mortiphago ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:52:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and now to get a bag of mixed condoms where the flavors are 50/50 good and bad
vape_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you want to play the condom version of bean boozled then?
mortiphago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
make a cum taste condom for the ultimate scare
vape_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does one make artificial cum scent/flavor for that?
harborwolf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:15:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about the hypothetical hooker I would be going to, but I can't stand the artificial fruit taste that many things have, namely banana and strawberry...
Though, on second thought, they would probably like it more than the taste of a non-flavored condom or whatever dirty dick they might be hobbing...
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:59 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact artificial banana actually is what bananas used to taste like around 60 years ago.
harborwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:32 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed sir, and I couldn't be happier that those ones were almost completely wiped out.
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:31 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me sad I love the taste of artificial banana. I want to get a cavendesh banana tree at some point there are still some people growing them.
Nutcrackaa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think all gentlemanliness has gone out the window using prostitutes.
Occams_Dental_Floss ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:15:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, so it's the Cat-callers use flavorless condoms with their hookers? Makes sense.
quizzicalquow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:56:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'lady of the night.
CupofTia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm- latex tastes DISGUSTING
jeobleo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
m'hooker
Firecracker500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'whore
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really not though, they're crappy flavors
Cyborg_rat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you ask before what flavor she wants?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whores supply their own condoms. No way they're going to trust one a customer brought in.
xYike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tips fedora
"M'whore."
MrPoletski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cock flavoured.
InerasableStain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ladies and Gentleman of the Night - A Cherry Interlude
MvdVeen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'prostitute.
KingHenryXVI ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I highly doubt a woman who sucks and fucks guys professionally, for money, is gonna give two shits about the condoms flavor. As if she wouldn't be used to it already.
jefferlewpew ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever tasted a condom? It's like licking cooking oil
fellonmyself ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure hon you can have a bj, let me just go get more grape ones because the flavor runs out on the cherry pretty quick.
But I already covered my dick in maple syrup.
Sorry hon I don't like the texture of your penis or the taste at the end so this how it is now.
Sexwax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever had normal condom lube in your mouth? Tastes awful
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:23:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Foooour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you guys not read? He's not asking why people use condoms, he's asking why use flavored condoms
DredPRoberts ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 14:53:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a myth, they don't turn green.
twopointsisatrend ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:00:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean they fall off without any warning!?!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:12:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, I see you're yet to learn of all the ways you can lose your penis. The worst by far is not reading instructions clearly.
Luckily in this day and age we can get transplants. But that's usually why some men are so grumpy; they can't afford another penis transplant.
FauxPastel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:22:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear. Penis turned blue and fell off.
Chaosritter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine just turned black and grew two inches.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sit down, /u/Chaosritter. We're going to need details.
DangerBrewin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:31:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. But you can regrow it, like a lizard's tail.
FightingPolish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The warning is all the pus and open sores. They just aren't necessarily green in color is all.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:57:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it only falls off if you eat too much gluten.
Sqrlchez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an exaggeration
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sqrlchez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That wasn't a joke, it can't go over my head.
Steez2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anecdotally?
moparornocar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have learned they can turn black and rot though. Had an abscess on the fold between my thigh and balls that kept re-occuring. Dr warned me not to fuck around and come back quick if it gets worse, then told me to google Fourniers gangrene as to why I should be quick if the abscess got worse.
also dont google that if you have a weak stomach and dont want to see mangled rotting testicles.
EmpereurDuSale ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 14:50:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only learnt this last month, it's possible to get STD's from getting your dick sucked. I was shocked
Edit: spelling
caseyuer ยท 316 points ยท Posted at 14:56:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...Did you not have proper sex ed in high school?
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 15:19:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ChloroformScented ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:45:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel you, man. I went to a Catholic school and all we learned from Sex ED was, "you don't need birth control because you won't have sex until you're married but once you do please have 11 children and raise them all Catholic, pretty please. "
Deeliciousness ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:41:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You liking NY so far?
A550RGY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got very good sex education in my small town in Idaho. But then again, I went to a Catholic school.
corran450 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username?
A550RGY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
upvote
Darktidemage ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:00:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously
AthleticsSharts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You lived in the Mormon part didn't you?
NovaeDeArx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What part of Idaho? Used to live there as well, was happy to leave.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ryanestrasz ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 15:05:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In america? Were lucky we get what we got now.
caseyuer ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:09:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the US, and I got fairly comprehensive sex ed. But I also lived in a fairly left leaning area.
xandergod ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:31:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. We started sex ed in 5th grade. Anonymous questions were so fun back then.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here and in 5th grade it was actual taught to the boys by the principal and girls a teacher I think.
joh2141 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a fairly left leaning area too and they didn't really teach too much except the science aspect of the penis to vagina. Then basically reading off a list of ways a child of 10 years old (that's when we got sex ed) can protect himself or herself from strangers who might try to molest or rape you or persuade you into sexual acts. But it was described like "Don't let anyone do anything icky to you here and here. If someone tries to touch you here, don't let the icky stuff in." Shitty sex ed TBH. Abstinence or non-comprehensive sex ed just doesn't work.
TyrionDidIt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:04:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Texas, had our first sex ed in 4th grade that covered basics, in 7th we had the full version covering STD's, protection, kinds of sexual contact etc. As I'm under 30, it may have been different for the older people, but this is common practice even in very red states.
Sashoke ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:41:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in bumfuck Tennessee but still got really good sex ed.
itsnotnews92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's completely ridiculous that sex education (or education in general) has to be a goddamn political issue.
I mean, I know why it "has" to be one because a certain political party benefits from uneducated masses. But still, it's ridiculous.
xtremechaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny how those two always go hand in hand.
Tickles_My_Pickles ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:01:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Utah checking in. What's sex ed?
Ryanestrasz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oooo a mormon!
Can i have your magic underwear?
Tickles_My_Pickles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean jesus jamys.
Ryanestrasz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I at least want a couple of pairs of the bottom half :P
carlson71 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from a small ass town and we had really good sex ed. Low teen pregnancy also, but that has changed in last 10 years teens popping out more and more kids so many sex ed has gotten worse.
saintofhate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And when DeVos gets in its going to get word, what with advancing God's army and all.
Justice_Prince ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In America they tell you that even hugging can give you an STD
Ryanestrasz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One day my little brother spouted off that the teachers told them that you could get herpes from sharing jackets and other clothing.
Ebmoclas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but didn't your parents teach you anything? My mum and dad (separate conversions) told me everything that I could possibly ever need to know about sex and sexual health. A few things I didn't think I would ever use, too. For example; The amount of girls I have had to tell to go and pee after sex has been astonishing! The look of amazement on one girls face was worth all the uncomfortable conversations with my mum. She never got another urinary tract infection from sex again, well, at east not while we were together.
RrailThaKing ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:16:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most of America doesn't live in the shithole states used to define the absurd cartoon vision of the country you see on Reddit.
semi-bro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can vary within states even. I went to school in Virginia and all I was taught was "Don't have sex or you DIE". But a district over my friends were getting in depth explanations of stuff.
joh2141 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair to the guy's comment, America DID start from a Puritan demographic of people with set principles and virtues. So his statement isn't inaccurate because he didn't really criticize America.
Darktidemage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But whole states full of people do....
inEQUAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky you.
RrailThaKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that was the point. Woosh.
Fiyero109 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
uhm...Trump got elected, your point is moot
RrailThaKing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's not. Thanks for posting.
DillFunk ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 14:57:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in 12th grade and never had sex ed. Ever.
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 15:00:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xXM0N5T3R21Xx ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:07:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Georgia and was given the abstinence only education. They had us pick up a card at the end we were supposed to sign as a contract to save ourselves for marriage. It was quite weird as a 12 year old.
ThatBlueGuy7 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:09:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live on Georgia and had a normal sex ed class. Where in Georgia was this?
xXM0N5T3R21Xx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:16:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suburbs of Atlanta. My middle school was awful though so that probably had something to do with it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also from the state of Georgia. (In Jabumblefuck, nowhere. Not Atlanta). We didn't even have abstinence only. We had literally nothing. Our health class was about not doing drugs and not getting obese; they completely skipped the reproductive system section. We learned about zygote formation in AP Biology, if that counts, but nothing to do with humans.
InspiringCalmness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i think hes talking about georgia in europe and not georgia USA.
edit: actually isnt, just murica.
merelyadoptedthedark ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:15:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if abstinence education and signing abstinence contracts exists outside of America.
xXM0N5T3R21Xx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:15:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Georgia USA - Suburbs of Atlanta
Capn_Barboza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How dare you offend the great Nation of Georgia!!!
DillFunk ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:14:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! You're right. I live in North Korealina
Penny2Point0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:24:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Memphis and i never took a sex ed class at all,I'm 27 now. They took alot of classes out of school by the time i got to high school.
Shabbypenguin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought Tennessee law was sex ed was the thing your family was supposed to teach you?
Penny2Point0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:33:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly wouldn't know, i learned a little from my parents. I mostly taught myself since i like to read everything i just read up on the subject myself. I teach my daughters though, i try not to sugarcoat anything for them either.
dwmfives ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just got whooshed buddy, he was making an incest joke. But good on you for educating your kids.
gwh21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you just watched a lot of porn didn't you?
Penny2Point0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah what teen didn't but seriously i read whatever i could to be more informed. In school i used to read every book from beginning to end whenever i could because i love learning new things. Honestly i just didn't wanna be the typical dumb black guy from the hood that some people down here think of when they think of my people.
AngryDemonoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I did. ๐ Christian school didn't have sex ed, and my dad sure wasn't having the talk with me.
VaporNinjaPreacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are uneducated hicks in every corner of our great nation.
mrpoisonman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some parts of socal. Our main industry is agriculture and we didn't have sex ed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've lived in Philadelphia my whole life and never had sex ed
RaveCave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never got it in Kansas, just good ol abstinence pledges
Jegeru ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:01:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My money is on Alabama.
EDIT: Why the downvotes? I went through Alabama public schools. 2 middle schools and 2 high schools. And none of them taught Sex Ed while I was there.
PJSeeds ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:33:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How was growing up in Kansas?
MelleniumFalcone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shots fired
GroovinWithAPict ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got any questions?
DillFunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but thanks. I used the internet as my sex ed (its better than it sounds)
GroovinWithAPict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These kids today!
purpletreegirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what reddit is for. :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
spaghettilee2112 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have any sex ed but I still knew this.
paulwhite959 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:40:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of us didn't. I'm in my 30s so I don't know how it is now, but I didn't learn you could get a lot of STD's through oral sex until I was in college.
mergedloki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So how are you and your many, orally acquired STDs doing now?
xtremechaos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:45:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
49 out of 50 states in the US do not have mandatory comprehensive sex education.
ScarsUnseen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been a while, but if I remember correctly, my Texas sex ed class mostly told us that vaginas were horrible and then showed us pictures of what would happen if we ever stuck our dick in one(cue slides of STDs). Oral wasn't ever even mentioned.
Kekoa_ok ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some schools will just throw abstinence at you and call it a day
altiuscitiusfortius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex Ed through a lot of America consists of this statement: Sex is between a man and a woman who are married, and youre going to hell if you do it before you get married.
Dune17k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'MURICA
thespanishtongue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Live in Utah. Sex ed consists of "don't have sex"
AdolfMohammedTrump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's probably 14 and learned this last month in sex-ed
EmpereurDuSale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually 20 and learnt this from a doctor. I knew a girl could get it, not a guy. I guess I didn't listen all that well in sex ed..
EmpereurDuSale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did, I remember them saying that you could get it if you on the giving end, I don't recall the other part tho.
Not in america guys :)
hackenchop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, there's this thing called the United States public school system
ReverendWilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know, there's also the inter webs...
Icost1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, there was some direct lies (about pregnancy) and rather inappropriate ways parts of it was done, for example when all the boys had to vote (anonymously) what girl they would want to have sex with most, and then went and read up the results to the girls.
Then there was the part with the fruit....
LobsterThief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happened with the fruit??
Icost1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A rather detailed part of the lesson was about different fruits going into different holes, and questions to the boys if they had been playing around with it...
Aceroris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was about the banana and the condom.
DancingPaul ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:09:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must not live in America
Tempest_1 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:58:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like my sex-ed teacher used to say
"Oral sex is still sex! You have someone's genitals in your mouth!"
Chaosritter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KSzCJENhk4w
Sqrlchez ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 14:55:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible to get std's in any gentital contact, or even in other ways.
Chaosritter ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:48:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, you can get genital herpes in your face from kissing someone who went down on someone who got it.
GroovinWithAPict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, you can get genital herpes in your face from kissing someone who went down on someone who got it from your mom!
Kappa_the_imp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite. Genital herpes only refers to herpes on the genitalia. However, you can get type one or type two in either location. So yeah, you can get herpes from the genitals to grow in your face, but it's not called genital herpes anymore.
CherethCutestoryJD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like getting pregnant by sitting on a toilet?
kitten_KC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, like riding a tractor in your bathing suit!
mphelp11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, how are you supposed to greet family?
Nickelback_Is_GOAT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With two broken arms, of course
Yak47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice.
corran450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
somethingsomething no thread is safe
Equilibriator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..being told you have an STD will do that
Macktologist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you finally see "Boyz in the Hood"?
Darktidemage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude...
thats how you get it in raw. They suck your dick, then they ask you to use a condom, and you teach them that they would already be fucked because they just sucked your dick, so now it's ok to go raw.....
patmayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you learn the hard way?
EmpereurDuSale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, not that I know of. I had a doctor ask me about my sex "history" and I told her I was once given a blowjob, she asked if I had used protection and I said no. She mentioned it and said to go get tested, but I had exams so I have not done it yet
patmayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, it was a joke. The hard way would have been. Having a nasty rash or itch or even something worse. In all honesty of you're not promiscuous, which I gather you're not then you will be fine and not need any sort of check up but you can never be top sure. Good luck and here's to many more BJs for you mate.
patmayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BTW it's usually if the giver has some sort of disease, so maybe something on the lips or mouth. It's very rare so please don't worry too much about getting checked out but do get checked out if you are worried. (way to ruin an experience huh?)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
F
wackawacka2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It works both ways.
joh2141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bro... You can get STD's technically without having sex or even having oral sex. Just make your penis (or vagina) real dirty and don't shower and let all kinds of bacteria and viruses and microbes and fungi grow down there.
Most common blowjob STD infection I believe is herpes IIRC. Can't cold sores and canker sores cause herpes to arise?
Also aware that herpes can spread to the eyes as well (I learned this disturbing condition reading about a new fetish in Japan where people suck other people's eyeballs and lick it. They transmit herpes via this method to develop ocular herpes.
GlassHeadMGW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cold sores are herpes, I think theres only a 2% chance of people contracting genital herpes on their mouth, H1 and H2 have an affinity for certain glands in your pelvis and neck they don't particularly like to switch locations. You can in fact get herpes in your eye. But all this to say, it aint all that bad(never had it in my eye though, sounds unpleasant).
_Pornosonic_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:59:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? I have had entertainment venues bathroom bjs a lot of times and never had problems. You do need condom for the actual penetration tho.
diuvic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:17:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the chances are significantly lower compared to penis in vagina sex though. If I'm not mistaken... which I might be... I don't remember.
DeerSpotter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's strange. Because you would assume that brushing your teeth gets rid of anything in your mouth.
Nanakisaranghae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turning green is fine tho.
Rustywolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he means you would just have an unflavoured condom
MustyDank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You damn casual
domosavage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah well if you're worried about your dick turning green and falling off steer clear of hookers bruh
c_zim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not even what happens.
It turns blue. Idiots.
FearMeIAmRoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That only happens if you eat gluten.
trampabroad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those people should try a gluten-free diet. Worked for me.
Minsc_and_Boo_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, prostitutes are more careful with their junk than anyone else. Meanwhile Stacy and Joe get laid every weekend at bars and clubs and don't wrap their sausage and meat curtain combo when they serve it to the latest customers
toastee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, I mean if fucking 12 dudes a day counts as careful...
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:50:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The prostitute supplies the condoms
Source: visited a prostitute
Stark_as_summer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:14:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And who do you think brought the flavoured condoms?
psgarp ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:47:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the whore?
eaterofdog ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:52:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL The voting on this should be a roller coaster.
veRGe1421 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:36:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well whoring is a well-regulated and legitimate business in many places, though I doubt they would refer to themselves professionally as whores. If you're visiting a German prostitute after partying at a nightclub in Hamburg and wandering about outside before deciding to pay for a โฌ50 suck and fuck, the least your drunk ass can do for your new business partner is to not have your dick taste like a soggy schnitzel brรถtchen.
corran450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12's my limit on schnitzel brรถtchen
PartsUnknown80 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always ask M'prostitute what flavor she'd like. I think she's into me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:55:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ky321 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:12:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't talk about your mother like that.
drdeadringer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those who care about where whores go.
Atheist101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can get herpes from a BJ
inthyface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, pimping ain't easy.
Jrrolomon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flavor Flaaaaaaav
Traherne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<loads crossbow>
Darktidemage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you not think whores provide their own condoms?
You think they just go around all day hoping all the guys have them + good ones?
EdgarTFriendly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just posting here to say "hi" to SRS
marr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they're a regular. Sometimes it's a friendly business relationship.
camipco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who isn't a complete shit of a human being cares about any one they fuck, whatever that person's job.
Catbrainsloveart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex workers typically carry their own protection. Gloves, lube, condoms, female condoms, dental dams. Though to be honest I've only known sex workers from the more privileged part of society (white with bachelors degrees).
ScrambledNegs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whores are people too.
justaddbooze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhh it ruins the fantasy.
MaenHoffiCoffi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who aren't complete shit heads?
ermaecrhaelld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure the prostitute would appreciate it. They're people too, you know.
StonedYeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whores do it so they don't get stds
gaaraisgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe people who don't consider prostitutes to be sub-human? XD;
FRIENDLY_CANADIAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...the whore does?
They often supply their own.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GMJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you trying to say that all woman are whores?
Alphabozo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only 50%...
GMJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So 25% of people!?
Alphabozo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:11:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, this discussion is great!!!
IvankasBabyDaddy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:14:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll drink to that.
currentbitcoinbear ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
savage
Qui-Gon-Whiskey ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:35:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, this was my first thought as well.
dinosaurscantyoyo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:11:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whores have feelings too. :(
Sonja_Blu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:45:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because prostitutes are subhuman garbage, amirite?!
People also use condoms during oral sex if they want to be safe and not contract STIs/STDs. You don't have to be a prostitute to practice safe sex.
MothaFcknZargon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:21:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah shit I knew I forgot something. Can any of you diagnose a STI from an imgur link?
hyugafan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am whorehopper, can confirm.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People should wear condoms when getting blowjobs from prostitutes.
slurp_derp2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, is that half-price ?
nancydrewskillz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy fucksprostitutes
GroovinWithAPict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
Acastil22 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:29:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao "visiting"
spacemanspiff30 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:42:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't think many move in permanently.
unobtainaballs ยท 1679 points ยท Posted at 14:48:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mid teens and a mate discretely asked me for a condom whilst we were out with the group.
I gave him a look (he was a virgin at the time, so far as I knew).
He gave me a strange look back, which I couldn't decipher.
His girlfriend was in earshot so he didn't explain it and I didn't press.
Later he told me that she'd given him a blowjob after he put one on (at her request).
I asked him how it was.
"Shit. I couldn't feel anything."
Poor lad.
Trolldad_IRL ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 15:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Terrible poem. Didn't even rhyme.
Baneken ยท 283 points ยท Posted at 15:21:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frankly it's not the condoms fault, a proper blow job has to be mastered like any skill.
buffbodhotrod ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 15:30:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely a LITTLE bit the condoms fault. I can't feel shit in a condom either. I usually don't get off. I still use em but if I were in a long term relationship and she was on BC I definitely wouldn't
304rising ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:42:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah there's no point in using a condom if she's on a reliable birth control. Condoms suck ass.
[deleted] ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 15:48:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Birth control isn't always effective. Just remember that. It's 99% effective and there are many things that make that number drop. You still need to be careful.
ShouldersofGiants100 ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 15:53:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also just common sense. If BOTH parties use one method, you both have a redundancy if one forgets. If both are used properly, it also decreases the risk from "statistically unlikely to fail" to "borderline impossible to fail".
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still, even a 99.9% chance of safety snowballs. Have sex 100 times, and it's 0.999100 = 90% chance. You have 1 in 76543210 chance to win the lottery, yet someone wins sometimes.
If you want to be really, really safe, have an emergency abortion fund and choose partners ready for it and be mature about it.
Edit: I don't know shit
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:11:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Meetchel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:15:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The percentages take this into account. If a condom says it's 97% effective, that means regular use over a year will elicit a 3% chance of a pregnancy. Same with BC. Your statistics, while mathematically correct, assume otherwise.
Beegrene ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many fucks per year is that figure assuming?
Meetchel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:54:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Average number of fucks. It's based off actual stats of large cross-section of people.
kingdead42 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:08:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy fucks (a statistically average amount).
trollfriend ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:14:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's not a 90% chance...
If so I must be incredibly lucky for not impregnating my girl when we use two forms of birth control, since we've had sex thousands of times and by your calculation it's a miracle of biblical scale she hasn't gotten pregnant.
imperabo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for the edit.
thebullfrog72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to freak everyone put, but a buddy of mine was conceived after his dad was snipped and his mom's tubes were tied
AllSummer16 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:34:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but wouldn't you just get an abortion in the off chance there was an accident?
ShouldersofGiants100 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps. But considering the fact that that choice and process is an unpleasant one even if there's absolutely no real desire to not have one, it seems wise to avoid it as much as a person reasonably can. Especially since it's a choice that pretty much no one is certain they would make once they actually face it. Let alone that the girl you're with is certain to want one.
AllSummer16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh I think like most things in life, it totally depends on the situation. From personal experience, just doing BC has worked really well. My boyfriend aren't really in a long term relationship, since we're splitting up when we graduate. But I am absolutely 100% having a kid rn lol, and also have no qualms about getting an abortion done.
I think it's a really good balance between pleasure and responsibility. Sex is way better without condoms, and in the small off chance there's an accident, we are ready to hit the clinic.
BlackHawksHockey ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:21:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm gf of 3 years just got pregnant.
spaghett1Thunderbolt ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 16:40:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if I should congratulate you or offer my condolences...
BlackHawksHockey ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:33:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha nah it's a good thing. We both love kids. It was going to happen eventually. I had just planned on being married first. Just a happy little accident.
Beegrene ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:18:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should name the kid Bob Ross if he's a happy little accident.
Hobocannibal ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:55:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Condolencations!
KremitTheForg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have two children. It's a bit of both.
DoesntUnderstandJoke ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:25:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats!
JebbeK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And sorry
BlackHawksHockey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
PocketPillow ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:46:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now you don't need to worry about using a condom for the better part of 2017!
WhackTheSquirbos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:08:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Yahoo Answers in me is saying the baby will get pregnant.
PocketPillow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that how baby is formed?
whitefox00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats! Can confirm also, got pregnant at 24 after being on the pill for 7 years with no problems.
BlackHawksHockey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha small world that's around our age.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulsorry!
BaronVonHarambe ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 17:08:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was no accident. 3 years she was wanting to lock down some commitment. "Of course I'm taking birth control!" flushes down the toilet
BlackHawksHockey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure why you were downvoted. It was obviously a joke haha
BaronVonHarambe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ppl are dense
wimpymist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Condoms are even worse they can drop to only 70% effective
daedone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Condom efficacy is determined as a percentage including all condoms sold but not worn they're actually much closer to 100% than that
highflyingcircus ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:01:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
99% is good enough for me to risk (paying for) an abortion. Which is a talk I have with every girl I have sex without a condom with.
theyellowpants ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:54:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's going to be a lot tougher in Texas. Wish their politicians could see that it's a dudebro saying this and not ladychick like they claim
sweet-banana-tea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is the difference ?
theyellowpants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:35:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're making legislation based on the idea that women feel this way and not men.. a lot is in the wording
I_AM_CALAMITY ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I plan on quoting you when I argue with people about abortions.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:54:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pullout plus BC is 99.999% effective. Drop those numbers.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah tell my girlfriend and me that. Just had that occur while being super safe about it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not on me if your GF is skipping her birth control bud.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't skip and I pulled out brother. That shit just happens which is why it isn't 100% effective.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're an idiot. Pregnancy while on birth control happens often enough. If it didn't happen they wouldn't account for the 1%. Maybe you're not just not fucking enough for that percent to matter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually our boy died at 5 months but thanks for being witty online.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:17:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's me that's the asshole.
It's really easy to see how pathetically immature and empty your life is by your comments.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want your sympathy. You're a nobody who thinks he's slick on the internet. I'm just letting you know the reality of what you're making fun of. If you left your parents basement once in a while you might not have such a big mouth online to strangers. I get it though. You can't say anything in real life because you're a pussy. So you get it out online with the gift of anonymity.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:24:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the issue with that though is that women change their minds and then you're stuck.
spaghett1Thunderbolt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:41:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that was a dude, men don't usually get abortions.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zarazilla ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:19:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I bet you're a man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's scarier as a man because if they get pregnant, it's out of our hands. We have to just hope they're sane and don't want to be poor yet.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zarazilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:45:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried different condoms? I definitely don't think they feel like a garbage bag... although I've never tried a garbage bag.
I was commenting about taking the risk every single time. Men never face that "Shit my period is late am I pregnant" fear or the "I'm so upset we broke up I have no appetite and feel queasy all the time... or am I pregnant? Shit, I better take 5 pregnancy tests" fear.
Another commenter says he'd be happy to pay for the abortion but that's just money out of his pocket. It is an invasive procedure for a woman, and even before you get to that part your body has already started changing.
If you're a man and you're not faced with all that worry and the potential for your body to start changing to host a baby.... I can see why you'd take that risk every single time. Pretty sure I wouldn't see many women saying that though.
pacmatt27 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol... Yeah men are always super chill if they think they're about to have an unplanned child. I get that it's a much more visceral, emotional experience for a woman. Trust me, I do. But you have to acknowledge that men can be tied into supporting a child they didn't want for 18 years without their consent. The prospect of an unplanned pregnancy is terrifying for us too, just in different ways. If we say we'd take the risk, we are still calculating a very definite, serious risk.
_Pornosonic_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo!
akshaysa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
condoms are also 99% effective
Viciouslicker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget that the pill isn't the only method of birth control. Shots and implants and IUD's are all very effective and harder to fuck up. They're much more reliable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We went with the IUD afterwards.
Viciouslicker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IUD's are the best. :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully so!
NozeFlairo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:26 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend friend wants to get an Implanon shot so that I can cum inside, they say 100% effective, so I shouldn't worry... Right??
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:49 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't cum inside her regardless of what she used for birth control.
joh2141 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually solely relying on BC dramatically increased the rates of STD infections so you have to practice really good hygiene if you still aren't using condoms and you have frequent sex.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
joh2141 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:48:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
????
swigglediddle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:49:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're not dating anymore
joh2141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now I feel like a dick for prying too much into it.
lycoloco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Presumably the poster doesn't know her STD status anymore.
catsan ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:13:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
STDs are the bigger risk. Especially the fucking cancer-causing viruses.
PrinceCharming0812 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Out of the loop on cancer causing viruses... What are thooose?
Leandover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HPV
PrinceCharming0812 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Warts. Gotcha.
catsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HPV especially in humans - causes genital warts, but can also cause cancer. In and on cervixes and vaginas, on penises, in the throat...
I'm happy the vaccines get better steadily.
NocturnalToxin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:42:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't feel anything, it's like a god damn blind person trying to read braille while wearing oven mitts.
buffbodhotrod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, AND if you're both for sure clean and not sleeping with others of course. They do for sure suck ass though. I don't care what commercials say, they reduce sensation quite a bit, smell weird, and they really do take you out of the moment sometimes. Every now and then my gf would initiate while we were in the shower and I'd have to run to my bedroom for a condom. Or we'd take some in with us but it wasn't as fun to plan out seemingly spontaneous sex.
HolycommentMattman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, there's no reason to use a condom at all if STDs aren't your concern.
I can't find the website, but I was very surprised to learn that the CDC conducted a study and people who practice the pull-out method experience roughly the same success rate at avoiding pregnancy as those who use condoms.
The most effective birth controls were the things like IUDs and the pill. They had rates of 0.1/100 and 1/100 respectively. But both condoms and pulling out were sitting at about 4/100.
EDIT: So I went and found the site. Turns out they've updated it in 2016.
Rates of pregnancy prevention for condoms range from 18-21 pregnancies per 100, and pulling out is 22 per 100.
Still roughly as effective, and also not the least effective method of pregnancy prevention.
TombstoneSoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better go find this one cause 4/100 is high as hell
HolycommentMattman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is high. But what's the gold standard of pregnancy prevention? The condom. It's what sex education touts over and over again.
I'm just pointing out that the pull-out method (aka withdrawal; aka pull and pray) is roughly equally as effective in terms of preventing pregnancy.
EDIT: Actually, it's been updated in 2016 and the numbers are wildly different. I'll update my previous comment.
outlooker707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flawless logic
scarletcrawford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure there is a point. Less UTIs, less chance of catching something, less chance of getting pregnant when/if the pill fails.
improbable_humanoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
99% effective means if you bang 25 times there's roughly a 25% chance of getting pregnant. Except I suck at doing probability-related math problems.
photophores ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those statistics are usually for a year of using that birth control. So it's more like if you bang for 25 years you have a 25% chance.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ha wish i had that problem
Akolyte01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather JO than have sex with a condom on, TBH. Kind of kills my motivation to find lady friends.
buffbodhotrod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I've definitely thought the same thing. Once the hook up novelty wears off I'd rather just get myself off and move on with my day.
RiotingMoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bc doesn't = free pass...
buffbodhotrod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Doctor! Now I'll DEFINITELY start wearing condoms and not enjoying sex with my partner because there's a highly unlikely chance that birth control and pulling out won't work used in tandem AND plan B doesn't work...
RiotingMoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem
toxicroach ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:56:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's the condoms fault. Wearing a condom during a blow job is like taking a plate of the finest french cheeses and crackers and spraying Cheese Whiz on it.
food_monster ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:43:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like eating the cheese with a bag on your tongue.
GroovinWithAPict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No silly, that's a female condom!
crielan ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:10:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Putting A1 sauce on a perfectly cooked ribeye.
compsciguy0429 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:33:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The blasphemy!
XDresser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really do not think that that metaphor does the injustice justice. I would propose that wearing a condom during a blow job is like taking a plate of the finest french cheeses and discarding them completely and replacing them with a latex condom, flavored or unflavored.
Yes, the finest french cheeses are exactly as pleasant to eat as is receiving a blow job. That's, that's what I'm trying to get across here.
DeerSpotter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of condoms for bjs
Plague_of_crocus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are shit but functional. Some infections can pass to the mouth/throat. Notably HPV which is a right cunt of a thing going as far as literally causing cancer.
SmartAlec105 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you know what they say. The best way to learn is to teach. So I recommend having her teach her friend how to give you a blowjob.
Dune17k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, maybe
bitcleargas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may have been three condoms fault and don't call me frankly.
iongantas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may also be an improperly sized condom.
improbable_humanoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BUT A CONDOM WILL FIT OVER YOUR HEAD, SO CONDOM SIZES MUST BE A MYTH! /s
GroovinWithAPict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That thing where the hooker puts the condom tip in her mouth and rolls it down you with her said skill...
improbable_humanoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, no. A condom basically cuts your sensitivity in half. If you're circumcised there's basically no chance a condom blowjob will do anything at all for you.
2OP4me ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:,( I dated a master.
deadly_inhale ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:58:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain. First GF for me, didn't know what I had or what I lost till it was too late.
2OP4me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The girl I dated was absolutely amazing in every other way :/ We broke up because of distance and how much pain it would cause on us to maintain a long distance relationship. It was um... Recent.
ScarsUnseen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. My first GF was great in bed, had a really high sex drive, was chill as fuck, shared almost all my interests, was willing to give me space when I needed, and was just about perfect for me in every way I can measure. I left her because I didn't want to only ever have dated one person in my life, and I've never found her match or anyone even close since.
SteinBradly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:44:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize I had switched over to TIFU subreddit.
badmother ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:37:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try tickling the palms of your hands when wearing gloves. Exactly.
krystalklear818 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 16:28:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feels better than 9 months of pregnancy.
Edit: I'm responding to the comment above saying that the can't feel tickles on their palm through a glove. Not the parent comment.
Heinelover ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:12:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a bj?
FightingDucks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:22 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What can I say, I'm really good at getting head.
FightingDucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:22 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What can I say, I'm really good at getting head.
badmother ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:23:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a female perspective, condoms make no sensory difference.[edit: What would I know! Apparently they're universally disliked.]From a male perspective, there's nothing as overrated as a bad shag, or as underrated as a good wank. I'd rather do the 5 knuckle shuffle than fuck wearing a wetsuit.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:42:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TimIsLoveTimIsLife ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:00:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think friction is the term you're looking for!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:20:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
XDresser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the coefficient of friction of perfect sex should be studied and found and spread for all human knowledge.
koiotchka ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:04:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. Condoms are terrible. Part of the point of sex for me is skin to skin contact. A barrier is just no fun.
centerflag982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, to me it's more than a simple "bare feels better" - it's supposed to be the peak of intimacy. Still having something separating you rather defeats that purpose.
koiotchka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, at least with my primary partner. A bit of fun with others can be different, and condoms become a practical concern, but with my primary, skin to skin all the way. I need that intimacy.
centerflag982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye. Guess I could've clarified casual vs. romantic, I was only thinking of the latter. But oh well, you got my meaning :P
koiotchka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, no need to specify. I don't think my situation is the most common one :p
UndevelopedImage ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:13:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely make a difference. Can't feel the heat as well, and the friction is different. Not a fan.
itsableeder ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:41:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not according to any of the girlfriends I've had in the last 15 years. They all fucking hated them.
kingdead42 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:10:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY.
itsableeder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah. Same thing.
awhaling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your edit doesn't even matter, because he's talking about how the blowjob would still feel like nothing through a condom. You can't get pregnant from a blowjob.
JajieQin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get pregnant from a BJยฟ wot
improbable_humanoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try ticking your palms when wearing gloves, except half of the nerve-endings in your palms were surgically removed for no apparent reason.
And the glove is cutting off your wrist's circulation.
pantherhs666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sympathize. If he still has that problem, tell him to try the thin magnums
unobtainaballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was over 10 years ago, he's had girlfriends since and I'm quite sure his sexlife is much better now.
TheFightingMasons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was still a kid in school my mum found a condom in my wallet while looking doing my laundry. She looked at me with anger very clear on her face and she asked, "What the hell is this?"
I guess I found the situation funny because I just blurted out ,"Banana Flavored", and started laughing.
PlayLikeNewbs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend was the same way. We compromised by having her drink hot tea before giving head - that way I could feel it through the condom
doubt_me ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 14:51:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ppl who know they've got an std but still like to receive some head?
L1NKTOTHEP4ST ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:49:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you just don't get head then.
doubt_me ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:58:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So true, so true.
MEANMUTHAFUKA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people don't realize they're infected. They're asymptomatic.
__Shrek ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:16:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why they specified people who do know, and want to prevent spreading it to their sexual partner.
MEANMUTHAFUKA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah - must have missed that part.... I'm not very smart.
DPSOnly ยท 179 points ยท Posted at 15:03:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know you can get STD from blowjobs and such.
DrunkenGolfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally worth it.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 16:45:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Thin-White-Duke ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:55:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not getting an STD?
DPSOnly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that that is the primary point for the people who do it.
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:20:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there's no open sores on either party and he doesn't finish in her mouth or mucous membranes, and you wash off afterwards[1], I'm pretty sure you have a near zero chance of contracting anything. The most at-risk party is likely the giver of the oral getting HPV to the throat.
[1] that's relevant to HPV, which a man can contract from P-V sex with a condom, by not washing around the base of his penis, taint, etc.
ArsenicAndRoses ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:57:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Herpes, remember? Also, infections such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Syphilis like the throat too. And pre-cum carries infectious material as well.
Sources: http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/970.aspx?CategoryID=118 http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/oral-sex-stis/
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:39:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sores, remember?
An extremely small amount. Is it possible? Yes. Likely? Not even close
DPSOnly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recall Sex ED from highschool and I believe the giver is most at risk. Don't recall the exact workings anymore, but there are some membranes at the back of the throat that have something to do with it.
badgerferretweasle ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:21:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People with HPV. Which can cause throat cancer. And is undetectable in many people. And most of the sexually active population has it. Get tested.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it undetectable except through biopsy? AFAIK there's no test for it, just vaccines, so get vaccinated.
Thin-White-Duke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:57:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. There are tests.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just looked it up, it appears there's just no tests for men.
dripless_cactus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine they can get a throat swab for oral hpv
Thin-White-Duke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Men can get pap smears.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A pap smear is a test for cervical cancer.
Thin-White-Duke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.advocate.com/news/2008/10/13/male-pap-smear
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the link, i did some more research on it too. From what I read, it seems that while HPV is the main cause of anal cancer, the anal pap test is not a conclusive test for HPV more so than for anal cancer alone. It also seems to not have consistently conclusive test results, and apparently no widely decided algorithm to test effectively. While results can occasionally show cells that are or might become cancerous, it just doesn't seem to work very well. Still didn't know that existed though.
CyberneticPanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's no test for men and the test for women only detects genital HPV. A person with a HPV infection in their mouth would have no way to know.
Chaos_Therum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:24 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank goodness I elected to get the vaccine.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:07:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dripless_cactus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The vaccine only guards against certain strains. You aren't bulletproof
[deleted] ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 14:38:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GaimanitePkat ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:18:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I imagine it would make cleanup a lot easier. When I give my boyfriend BJs there's always the question of "well, where is he going to cum". Unless you're a swallower every time, of course.
MagpieHimself ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:32:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spitters are quitters.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 15:42:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God. My boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend will not swallow or do anal. I mean I get not wanting to do anal because (from what I've heard when they get drunk) he has a giant monster cock, but seriously she won't swallow or let him come on her face?? I have always heard that not swallowing is the greatest insult you can give a man.
FireFox479 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:45:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or it just tastes bad and she sees no reason to deal with that...
Laureltess ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn just tell him to eat some pineapple. It's in your mouth for like two seconds anyway, right? I e had gross jizz before but you can just chase it with a drink of something
noctrnalsymphony ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:33:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, while swallowing is preferable for most men, that is definitely something some men say to make getting head better. My body just makes the jizz, it's not like I prepared and flavored it just to you. Spitting it out isn't exactly an insult. Or they have a really weird ego problem.
StephenshouldbeKing ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:56:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how it is for most guys but after I cum from a bj, I don't give a single fuck about where it goes or what she wishes to do with it. I don't think it's insulting not to swallow, but that's just how I feel. Now having to wear a condom for a bj? Hells to the no!
castille360 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like you learned about sex from porn. It should not shock you that many women (and men) are not porn stars and are not interested in fucking like them.
saltinstien ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:16:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone else thing that lubricant is 50x more unpleasant than any sexual fluid? It's just so god damn sticky.
GaimanitePkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Natural lubricant produced by the vagina, or lubricant you buy at the store?
I haven't found bottled lubricant to be terribly sticky. You may need another brand.
saltinstien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Specifically the kind that comes on condoms, referring to condoms making clean up easier. I'm really freaked out by anything I perceive as sticky though, so I'm probably not very good at objectively judging that kind of thing.
JokklMaster ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what your area may be like but my girlfriend, we're both in college, wasn't sure if you could get pregnant from a blowjob or not. She's smart, her sex ed was just terrible. So she may have had a fear like that.
impablomations ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:49:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of an old (probably ancient) joke.
Two sperm are swimming along and one says to the other "how long until we get to the womb?
"womb?" asks his friend "we haven't even passed the tonsils yet!"
JokklMaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that's great. But it's unfortunate that in some areas sex ed is so bad some people would actually believe that...
Yay_Rabies ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 15:19:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does no one in this thread know that you can still pass STIs through oral sex?
JokklMaster ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:20:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most people know that. That's not what this was about though.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:40:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously how are people not getting this
Yay_Rabies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know. I love the comments about trust in a relationship when the original comment was about a "poor lad" trying to hook up with a girl at a party and she wanted to protect herself. Deep, loving and trusting relationships are now people you met 10 minutes ago at a party who want to suck your dick. No wonder there's been an uptick in stis: https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats/sti-estimates-fact-sheet-feb-2013.pdf
BearsEersBeers ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:12:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's irrelevant in this case
skulltrumpetman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:14:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're girlfriend and boyfriend I would think you trust each other enough to not be concerned about STDs. The major worry is pregnancy.
Thin-White-Duke ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:51:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
??? Some people date people with STIs.
skulltrumpetman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:06:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, but I just meant that you should be able to trust your partner that they're being honest with you. If you're clean, and your boyfriend/girlfriend says that they're clean, you don't need to worry about condoms besides to prevent pregnancy.
If one of you has an STI, that's obviously a different situation but the idea of honesty still applies. You should be able to trust your partner to let you know if they have something.
dripless_cactus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:48:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are many STDs which are asymptomatic and people don't know they have. One could still be concerned about getting STDs whether they trust their partners or not. Even if you show each other test results, there is still some cause for concern as there are some STDs where the tests are pretty bad (or the doc refuses to give them, common in the case of HSV 1 and 2).
eventually I think you gotta say "If I want sex at all I have to take some risk" but being concerned about STDs is not necessarily a matter of trust.
CyberneticPanda ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:08:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this. Lots of people never know that they have an STD at all. They don't test men for HPV, and a large percentage of cases are either asymptomatic or present with generalized symptoms. A regular STD panel doesn't test for herpes, either, so even if someone has been tested they don't necessarily know if they've got herpes. You can trust someone to not knowingly give you a STD, but trusting them not to give you one at all is like trusting them not to give you the flu.
Thin-White-Duke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
coughHPVcough
dripless_cactus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep that too
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
petmaster ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:42:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If no cold sore is present the virus can still be contacted about 18 days in the year due to viral shedding. Also, you can catch chlamydia and gonorrhea
dripless_cactus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And HPV, certain strains of which can cause cancer or warts in your throat.
CyberneticPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As /u/petmaster said, herpes can sometimes be transmitted without a visible sore, but they could also have a visible sore in an invisible spot, like inside their mouth under their lip or on the roof of their mouth. Do you perform an oral exam on people before you put your dick in their mouth? Besides chlamydia, genital warts, and gonorrhoea, you can also catch syphilis, hep a/b/c, and pubic lice.
BearsEersBeers ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 16:12:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're with someone you shouldn't have to wear a condom for them to blow you. Jesus lol. What kind of relationships are you guys even in where you can't trust that your partner doesn't have an STI?
StephenshouldbeKing ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that. Sex ed is vital. I obviously don't know her family situation but parents should at least attempt to educate their children about sex.
JokklMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but her mother being the way she is honestly probably just didn't think about it talking to her about it. And her father definitely just wants to pretend she'll never do anything sexual ever.
RrailThaKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't want to blow you bud. She knew.
JokklMaster ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:20:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No she didn't. And once I told her she did blow me and she continues to. Never underestimate the powers of conservatives in putting disinformation in the minds of people.
7CoolNameHere7 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:24:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never underestimate the power of liberals to blame conservatives for everything.
Sea_of_Blue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about the rest of the political spectrum, are they all good?
GourdOfTheMorning ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:38:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha you fool, US politics is either red or blue, left or right, all the way one way or the other. There is no spectrum and if you don't identify with either side you're stupid and your vote doesn't count!
Syphon8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's no left in the US...
JokklMaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen a liberal argue against good sex ed
7CoolNameHere7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Conservatives argue against state funded sex Ed.
JokklMaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good job there bud. Now you understand. That's the problem.
7CoolNameHere7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:10:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual education has a lot to do with family values. The state has no right to interfere with family values.
JokklMaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex ed has nothing to do with family values. It's education which is a state issue. Sex ed doesn't promote sex, it teaches safe practices. The rest is up to the individual.
RrailThaKing ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 15:25:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girls aren't stupid but they ARE terrible liars. She just didn't want to right then and that was the first thing that she thought up. It failed.
CareerRejection ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:29:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this garbage? Why does it matter so much to you?
JokklMaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He never gets any bjs. So he's jealous ยฏ\_ใ_/ยฏ
JokklMaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. She is a terrible liar. That's how I know she wasn't lying. I know her, you don't, I know for a fact that wasn't the issue. She wanted to. So sorry bud, but you're just flat out wrong.
DeineMamagebacken ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:46:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feelsbadman
LordTurner ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:58:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feelslikeverylittleman
Jarderz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tragic.
MachoNachoMan69 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:59:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even dogs should be treated more humanely than that
Mapeben ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:21:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People with HIV maybe? You can get it through cavities or cuts in the mouth or tongue.
PreventFalls ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:48:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My much older sister gave me a dental dam when I was around 16. I don't really remember what she even said, but I just remember it being a turquoise color and smelled heavily of latex. She said it was important to use, but I still to this day can't imagine oral sex through latex. I think it was also already unwrapped when she gave it to me.
Macktologist ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:11:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hand me downs are part of being the younger sibling. I hope you embraced it.
Smittles ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:54:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GenXers remember.
AIDS
reverie6 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:30:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People not wanting to transmit STI's
LandgraveCustoms ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:08:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you don't have a wife that prefers the taste of grape to the taste of Dick.
consultantdetective ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not for during sex, it's after. If your girl decides to give you a blowjibber after sex, neither she nor anyone else wants the taste of latex residue. Grape Soda or banana split on the other hand? You betcha
beergirl69 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:41:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
theyre supposed to be for eating out afterward
ApocryphalCanon ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No there not. You should never use a flavored condom in a vagina. They're for oral sex only.
JBHUTT09 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:21:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what if I like infections?!
...said no one ever.
YeastInVagMakesBread ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:31:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:D
fcbRNkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My patient in the ER that had gonorrhea in her throat should have used one
AnUndEadLlama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently during the HIV crisis in the 80's when people didn't really know what was going on it was a practice that some people chose to do to mitigate risk.
JohnConnor7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WTF? Do you really think it is super safe to practice oral sex without a condom in every situation? How old are you? What kind of sex ed. did you receive?
VitalSigns2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's so when you go down on a girl after the deed is done, it tastes like said condom flavor.
dockingrockets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who got BJs with condoms on from his ex. I asked him so many questions.
"Is your dick dirty?" "Do you have nasty spunk?" "Do you have STDs?" "Does she have STDs?" "Latex fetish? I've heard of that"
All nopes. She was just like... squeamish about putting another person's body part in her mouth or something like that. Weird.
cewfwgrwg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dated a girl who would only go down on me if I was wearing a condom. She was very afraid of STDs. I didn't date her long enough to get to the "let's both get tested" milestone.
miranto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lactose intolerant people won't do the honors without you wearing one.
rom8n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a virgin, and all my friends confirmed this, to one of my exes. Then, one night, when we're both pretty frisky shy pulls out a flavored condom. I'm confused, and she said, "I want to give you head, but I don't know if you're clean" - I've never had sex or a bj before this. And I would need to get clinic papers to get a bj without a condom. AND she got the wrong sized condoms (either that, or condoms just hurt).
That was last night with her.
clay_helmet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You my friend have obviously not watched a lot of home made porn
chodumadan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because the penis is apparently not that tasty. most women would gag on the taste.
polskigolski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bro it's so the guy can eat the girl out afterwards and it'll taste nice
faux__mulder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing it's for after you stick it somewhere. A lot of girls have complained about the taste of my dick after a condom has been on it even though they were happy with the "taste" before it went on.
Trogdor300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe its for sucking you off after some pounding. That way your dick taste like strawberries or whatever instead of pussy.
quichagan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something jolly ranchers
laurenbanjo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than 50 percent of the adult population in the US has oral herpes (cold sores/fever blisters), and it can be spread to the genitals during oral sex.
Source: http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/herpes/oral-herpes/
RandomedXY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3k upvotes. This is why you wear rubber when fucking random people..
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're going back and forth between vaginal and oral sex, sometimes you don't bother taking off the condom.
yomoneyisgreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe for guys who like to stick it then lick it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always always assumed flavored condoms were for after sex if the girl is finishing him off with her mouth. Normal latex condoms are fucking disgusting, and the taste lingers.
boojie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's to put flavor in the vag so you can eat it out and not have condom flavor
eye_spi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who understand that STIs can be present without symptoms and transmitted by oral/genital contact, mostly. Also people with a latex fetish.
Ppleater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you're being playful with foreplay the flavoured condoms are probably specifically for a blowjob that's supposed to be tasty without the mess of food. It's not that you need the condom for a BJ, it's that you're using a flavoured condom to make a flavoured BJ.
Hypain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who don't want syphilis in their mouths.
sAlander4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never gotten a bj with a condom on... Fuck that shit. I thought the flavored condoms were for the guy to eat her out after he fucked her.. So I guess I'm an idiot too
Mr_Canard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People having ONS
spgb- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You want herpes around your mouth?
animosityiskey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People with herpes, either side of the blow job.
Big_Apple3AM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend in 7th grade when he was at a beach one summer before any of us had gotten BJs and he came back having gotten one with a condom on ๐ค
professorsnapeswand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have sex with them on, then you pull it off and get a blow job, some of the flavor stays on your dick.
angryhippo13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a girl who once got an STD from giving a blowjob--any of my current and future partners do.
andrihu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with this guy who told us that his wife would refuse to give him a blowjob unless he was wearing a condom. Yet they had 5 kids by the age of 25. True story
ChuckStone ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 14:51:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who don't like getting herpes.
I have herpes. As do most people... It's on my mouth. I don't suck cock being as I am a grade one heterosexual (which is annoying. I find men more intellectually stimulating. But I can't fuck them cos I'd be sick), but if I did.. that cock would get herpes eventually.
MachoNachoMan69 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:02:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dear Reddit Community, Here is a perfect example of the principle that many times, less is more.
idontcareaboutthenam ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:12:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That turned from logical to disgusting.
GrandMa5TR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me stop you there. (โกโฟโกโฟ)
Xlucifer666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1 in 5 might not be most but it sure is a hefty sum.
truthlesshunter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:00:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you apparently have not met my ex...unlike most people.
suxmydix ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 14:11:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only point of a flavored condom is to break anyway
Wiknetti ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 14:40:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flavor BURST!
sickburnersalve ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:08:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like Gushers!
Macktologist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a Jolly Rancher?
Wiknetti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know that story. Don't you put that evil on me again.
princesskiki ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:50:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's a kid...not really a stupid question. Funny, but not stupid.
Waltonruler5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but the kid's creative as a rock. I definitely thought of stuff I wanted to do with all the pretty girls, even if I didn't fully understand it. Maybe I was just a horndog from a young age. Maybe I'm seriously fucked up. But it seemed pretty natural to me to think "Oh I bet if I stuck it in her mouth it would feel good."
Actually, the more I think about it, the more I realize how weird that is. Should I get help?
Dewy_Wanna_Go_There ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
zortlord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If a heart can have smell receptors...
https://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/14/science/smell-turns-up-in-unexpected-places.html
DDeadRoses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I never heard about sex in my life. I would've believed him.
willi_con_carne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'tis
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a a kid in sex Ed, a boy in the classroom swore an actual bone slid into his penis when he got a boner!
"It does!" He said, as the class giggled, "I can feel it!"
idosillythings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually always wondered why they make those. What's the point of having oral sex with a condom?
Thin-White-Duke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:00:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not wanting STDs.
laurenbanjo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than half the adult population has oral herpes and it can be spread to the genitals during oral sex.
UterineDictator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you really can't fault that line of thinking.
revicon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally reminds me of this: http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/i-wish-he-had-tastebuds-in-his-asshole-comic.jpg
Brotherauron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Innocence + Logic often comes up with some hilarious things
halvmesyr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Sounds like that kid is going places
BlueBokChoy ยท 1352 points ยท Posted at 13:20:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the way that it's almost sensical to say it the other way around
squawly ยท 395 points ยท Posted at 14:13:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, when I was growing up, we convinced one of my friends that the reason they make flavoured condoms was because vaginas have taste buds... No idea how long he believed that one for
Edit: missing word
icay4321 ยท 681 points ยท Posted at 14:35:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently until health class when he asked.
Augenis ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:52:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Small world
rotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meta
DisterDan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:20:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When girls pee do they also taste it?
94358132568746582 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:45:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. The urethra is actually separate from the vagina, which contains the taste buds. So a woman can only taste something if she actually inserts it into her vagina. That is actually why cucumbers are a popular improvised dildo. That light refreshing taste is enjoyable.
mistressfluffybutt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/badwomensanatomy
AskmeifIdoitEveryday ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:40:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Project2r ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:57:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until that health class, apparently.
Ghotimonger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when you were growing....?
squawly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Corrected! Damn words
VulcanizedJell-O ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:03:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The next r/ShowerThoughts post?
Kammerice ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...sensible is the word I have written on the card.
NotAModBro ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:31:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, i believe the word on the card is sensical.... Its not " Officially " a word, but it popular to the point where it will be shortly.
pistolpeteza ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:55:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its an alternative word
Kammerice ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:39:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And so is therefore not (currently) a word.
NotAModBro ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:42:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That wasnt the argument. You said he was looking for the word Sensible. He was not.
Kammerice ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:48:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tue. Because (currently) "sensical" isn't a word. So therefore, the word would be "sensible", especially if I was some sort of game show host reading off a card.
It doesn't matter how popular "sensical" is (Google doesn't seem to provide any hint that it'll be imminently given space in a dictionary), it's still not a word.
NotAModBro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:50:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never claimed it to be a word. I stated Sensible isnt the word he was looking for. Because if it was, he found it and still didnt use it. So not sure why you are switching your argument up. This wasnt ever about if its a word. Its about the fact he wasnt trying to say sensible.
Kammerice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you're correct. My original comment called to attention that "sensible" is the word used in the above context, not "sensical". The subtext of this would be because I didn't recognise "sensical" as a word, which you have pointed out it's not.
Regardless, this is a ridiculous thing to be getting into an internet debate about...
NotAModBro ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:00:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its friday and everyones trying to kill time. Nothing is ridiculous to debate at this point.
Kammerice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're telling me. I've literally got 24 minutes, then I'm off for four days straight and not back in the office until next Friday.
Vanetia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is sensical not a word but nonsensical is?
I call foul on the English language!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same reason we don't say something "makes nonsense" but we commonly say it "makes sense."
Vanetia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:48:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But nonsense is a word. You can say "that's nonsense!"
Still calling foul :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And interestingly, you don't say "That's sense!" You say "That's sensible!"
Sense is a more versatile word, and has multiple definitions. Nonsense is a mutated antonym of a specific definition of its parent and lacks the breadth of usage. You can't properly flip usage of nonsense back to sense because the former is a modifier noun, while the latter has never been one.
At least, that's my take on it. I'm not a linguistics professor.
Syphon8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait, nonsensical is a word but sensical isn't?
Kvothealar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sensical is a valid English word. It's the antonym of nonsensical.
Some say it isn't valid or hasn't been accepted yet, likely based on the result you get from this Google search... but if you follow the top link you will see one person pointed this out:
So Google saying "It isn't officially a word yet" referencing that thread as a source is simply wrong. I'm pretty sure that Google result has falsely perpetuated that Sensical is not a real word for five years now because it appears in many dictionaries.
It's been a recognized English word since 1797 and everybody understands what you mean when you say it. There's no room for disagreement here at this point.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:25:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Online Oxford English Dictionary doesn't have a definition of sensical. Searching for it takes you to the page for sense. Nonsense and nonsensical have their own definitions, though. I feel like if many dictionaries had the word in it, one of them would come up on an online search.
It seems there is room for disagreement. We'd need to find a 1984 OED to confirm that guy's story, and I don't have one handy.
Kvothealar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you google "sensical" there are multiple hits on the first page of results.
Plus English is defined by usage not by dictionaries.
It's kind of like how "Irregardless" became a thing. It's just defined as regardless.
GreenFriday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nonsensical is a word, so why isn't sensical?
S0ul01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That did not change anything
BigDisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jerry Seinfeld, is that you?
BlueBokChoy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:22:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is the deal with vaginas?
How do you even vagine anyway?
HollowScope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the Pope cathoLick
Parsel_Tongue ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 14:21:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine Karl Pilkington asking this.
ObviousLobster ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:42:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All dumb questions are funnier when imagined in his voice.
vintagestyles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:51:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
head like a fuckin orange
[deleted] ยท 482 points ยท Posted at 13:19:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SaintMelee ยท 1292 points ยท Posted at 14:03:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thought of a vagina gnawing it's way out of a pair of panties is terrifying. I might be gay now.
queenofthera ยท 527 points ยท Posted at 14:10:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine often gnaws on my panties. Seriously, the crotch can look like it's been gummed by a walrus.
Tshirt_Addict ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 14:46:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ ูอ อกยฐ)
buttery_shame_cave ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 14:41:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in a way it kinda has...
queenofthera ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 14:45:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it makes Walrus noises too.
Moruitelda ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:19:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're ruining the feminine mystique, but it's hilarious.
queenofthera ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:22:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus story: sometimes, after I have sex doggy style the air getting shoved up there makes my vagina fart on its way out. Totally ruins the post-sex glow.
Cecil_B_DeMille ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:28:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy I used to work with told me some very wise and sage advice that I try to live up to " if she doesn't let out a queef after sex, then you haven't done your job right"
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:13:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
youspacebastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a burp after a meal
Cecil_B_DeMille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that he meant it as going deep and hard long enough that the air stays trapped and that the wetness provides a moisture barrier.
sixbanger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly think I would find it hilarious and just enjoy a good laugh about it. :)
buttery_shame_cave ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:03:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i thought my wife was the only one!
Yarthkins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gaahh, my years of watching nature documentaries and functioning auditory memory have betrayed me!
John_Q_Deist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you attempt to spell out (phonetically, maybe?) what those noises sound like?
queenofthera ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:01:21 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't really- I just made that up. But for the sake of continuing the joke: MERRRRRRRUUUUFFF
marvelking666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q U E E F U E E F
KatMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your user name is kind of appropriate for a discussion of vaginas.
It amused me, at least. :)
ommingthenom ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
queenofthera ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:11:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's all you're getting. Aren't I a tease?
Sunday_V ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:16:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was almost poetic. I actually pee-laughed a little.
WizardsVengeance ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:58:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A walrus with a mouthful of cottage cheese.
queenofthera ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:59:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
only if Mr Yeast Infection decides to come to town.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:44:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you were getting cottage cheese in your panties, you might want to talk to someone about your reproductive health
x_liferuiner ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:45:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even more so if jolly ranchers start falling out.
Gonzobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nodule of gonorrhea
sixbanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about Doritos, though?
WizardsVengeance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I main D.Va and this is my fantasy. #milkygusset
Sureshadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in line to get lunch right now and I wish I didn't click this thread
idwthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you can use it as dip for your Doritos!
Maenad_Dryad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vaginas can bleach fabric too sometimes! Sometimes it burns holes in the material! :D
queenofthera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:55 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...well I'm glad to know there's at least one depravity that my vagina doesn't engage in.
The_Vork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm giving you an upvote, but I think you should know I'm feeling very uncomfortable.
slurp_derp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A gumless walrus
Bidiggity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaaand now I'm turned on
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because vaginal secretions are mildly acidic and will slowly eat through fabric.
quaybored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hawt
Basjaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gayness intensifies
tradingten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well there is a mental picture I could have done without
queenofthera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:06 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:3
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Om nom nom!
Emorio ยท 263 points ยท Posted at 14:10:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch Teeth.
Shadow_Of_ ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 14:21:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that?
FirstJediKnife ยท 252 points ยท Posted at 14:26:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A movie
matted- ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 14:29:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
blablayaddayadda ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:49:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome
Chompston ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome
PeacockPanzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HEY YOUR NOT OP
The_Undrunk_Native ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL
Dogge348 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not movies
__Risky__Click__ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assure you, it's a movie.
KingMidas99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOT MOVIES
bozokeating ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 14:36:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's these hard calcified structure found in jaws, but that's not important right now.
SmallSneej ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:07:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surely you can't be serious?
The_iron_mill ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:18:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:21:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue...
queertrek ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:45:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they had a lot of teeth in Jaws. incredible movie
BookDuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I miss that guy.
Zmodem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna say it: mixing Teeth & Jaws together, you get a great white shark attacking and eating people with its vagina.
"You're gonna need a bigger tooth-brush"
suckmyleftnutpls ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 14:29:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A nice little romantic comedy
Viandemoisie ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 14:30:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a movie. It includes teeth somewhere where there shouldn't be any.
whatsthewhatwhat ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:13:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like in the back of a volkswagen?
RazzPitazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Under the pillows
BoxNumberGavin1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Documentary*
And don't tell me where I want teeth.
SmallSneej ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically this girl has a terrifying set of teeth in her snatch and she bites off dudes' dicks. In one scene I think this guy's dick lands on the floor and a dog eats it.
Shadow_Of_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:31:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel sick
saintofhate ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:43:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me, he deserves it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, don't ask. Do yourself a favor and don't do a Google Image search.
nikkitgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A super hot porno
Shadow_Of_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems legit
waddlinmabel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its a friggin awful movie. and a trap
RedPandaDeathLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its fucked up.
Maraudershields7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one should ever watch Teeth.
-GWM- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone should watch teeth, at least to the scene in the cave on the pond.
Was it a pond? Or just a small part of the lake?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:00:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shudder
SnArL817 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who put the "bomp" in the bomp-shooby-dooby-bomp?
Who put the "ram" in the rama-lama-ding-dong?
You did
You did
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's also this movie where this dudes dick is alive and detaches and eats women from vagina to mouth.
iamsheriff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should definitely not watch Teeth.
Source: I've seen Teeth.
Caligu1a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should not watch teeth *FTFY
raaavioli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've recommended this movie to every boyfriend i've ever had
left_hand_method420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DO NOT WATCH TEETH!
ItsMeSatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I'm good
jefferlewpew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
VAGINA DENTATA
Insert_Gnome_Here ยท 199 points ยท Posted at 14:19:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vagina Dentata?
buttery_shame_cave ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 14:41:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what a terrible phrase.
Persimoirre ยท 273 points ยท Posted at 14:53:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It means no worries...
username_elephant ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 14:58:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For what's left of your days!!!
buttery_shame_cave ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 15:04:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's a penis-free...
Insert_Gnome_Here ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 15:05:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Philosophy!
buttery_shame_cave ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:07:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
vagina dentata, ooo ooo
Jimmyleith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
smears thick paste on forehead
colonel_raleigh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:06:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
monstrosity!
buttery_shame_cave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
vagina dentata!
(nice)
nel_nucifera ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...girl cavity!
napalm_anal_emission ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phallus-ectomy!
kittycat0195 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Catastrophe!
screennameoutoforder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fell off of me...
Jared_FogIe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blue Waffly
Trappedfartist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hysterectomy
paulusmagintie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
for the rest of your days!
C'mon man.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legit made me do a dumb laugh in the middle of my office. 5/7.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully I was alone in my room but also made me laugh
Quinntervention ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the rest of your lays
kunk180 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until you decide to get laid!
V-Bomber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a penis-freeeee philosophyyyyy
nachtmere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AIN'T NO PASSING PHAAAAASE
buttery_shame_cave ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:04:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it means no weiner, for the rest of your days....
TheBreastIncarnate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vagina Dentata!
buttery_shame_cave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it ain't some fetish craaaze
SheepishLordKOs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vagina Dentata... ain't no passing craze!
ka36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I see that, I can't help but sing it to myself to the tune of hakuna matata.
buttery_shame_cave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
va-gi-na, den-ta-ta. it means toothy pussy.
vagina dentata, what a terrible phrase... vagina dentata, ain't no passing phase...
it means no weiner, for the rest of your days...
ka36 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's...terrifyingly well thought out.
deliciouscorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The new Police album?
DeepthroatOrgasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a movie about a toothed vagina once. Not very good, but very entertaining.
Fightmelol6969 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:24:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
VAGINA DENTANA!!!
Chompston ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:11:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a wonderful phrase!
Blaze_fox ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:21:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was already gay but this just reinforced it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just watch out for colon dentata.
DongLaiCha ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:40:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wanna get a drink?
SaintMelee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:49:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many teeth does your penis have
DongLaiCha ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:28:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only incisors. They're baby ones though.
geedubs1043 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:07:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, you were gay the whole time.
Sam-Gunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heeeeerrrrrereeeeessss Pussy!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just reminded me of vaginal dentata.
twopointsisatrend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I guess you wouldn't want to watch Grim Prairie Tales
teslaandme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Looking like a fucking tremor coming out of there.
Fiyero109 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
welcome to the dark side, we have cookies, and lots of sex :)
kanooka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a movie you might not want to watch. I think it's called teeth.
willi_con_carne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhh, what I a vigina ate you penis
Mac22y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
vagina dentata
Adorali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is a penis rearing up and eating its way out of a pair of underwear really less terrifying?
irotsoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In like 4th or 5th grade or so, a friend of mine (a girl, I'm a guy) described a vagina using her banana clip hair thing, looks like this. I think about that every so often and it freaks me out. Ouch!
somethinginfinitely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mlem.gif
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/vaginadentata
sagafood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allow me to impart some wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy: I had a girl put on crotchless britches for my birthday one time. I come home, she was like, โwant some of this right here.โ I go, โNo, look what it did to your underbritches.โ
Malfeasant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vagina dentata!
Ambush101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're free watch Teeth. I sat through that movie at twelve years old with my sister and mother, not gay but was scared of sex for a long time.
unclefisty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some women have discharge so acidic it bleaches and burns their panties. Isn't biology fun?
Wrathwilde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will set you straight again...
Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard.
This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell.
This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called โThe Better โOleโ that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, โOh I say, are you still down there, old thing?โ
โNah I had to go relieve myself.โ
After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.
Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in-curving hooks and started eating. He thought this was cute at first and built an act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: โItโs you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we dont need you around here any more. I can talk and eat and shit.โ
After that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly like a tadpoleโs tail all over his mouth. This jelly was what the scientists call un-D.T., Undifferentiated Tissue, which can grow into any kind of flesh on the human body. He would tear it off his mouth and the pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly and grow there, grow anywhere on him a glob of it fell. So finally his mouth sealed over, and the whole head would have have amputated spontaneous โ (did you know there is a condition occurs in parts of Africa and only among Negroes where the little toe amputates spontaneously?) โ except for the eyes you dig. Thats one thing the asshole couldnโt do was see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldnโt give orders any more. It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the brain must have died, because the eyes went out, and there was no more feeling in them than a crabโs eyes on the end of a stalk.
diggexpat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
VAGINA DENTATA!!!!
nikkitgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I might be a lesbian now
zweischeisse ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:14:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Panties usually go outside the vagina.
ShinyHappyREM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Usually.
Jav__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love those candy g-strings
EdCroquet ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 14:03:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are tastebuds at the end of your colon, though.
Emorio ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 14:10:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you're the front or middle of a human centipede.
rmoss20 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:59:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always be an A. Never a B or C.
afihavok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy. I think I'd rather be a C if the B is a girl.
ThatBrandon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd rather have someone shit in your mouth?
occamsrazorburn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He does, but only if they're forced to do it.
afihavok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
afihavok ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:24:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking about other sexual trains.
EDIT: that said, if B is a girl...
RoyceJulius ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:00:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More specifically, capsaicin receptors. (This is why "hot-hole", "Montezuma's Revenge", et al exist.)
Just_da_fax ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:24:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You can train you mouth to eat the hottest peppers, unfortunately, you can never train your butthole"
Moruitelda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whom are you quoting?
Just_da_fax ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:32:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some seasoned/proffesional(?) hot pepper eater and breeder that was answering questions on reddit a while back. I'll never forget that saying. As a hot sauce connoisseur myself...so true.
barsoap ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:45:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally every millimetre of skin has "capsaicin receptors"... which actually are heat receptors that get irritated the fuck out of them by capsaicin.
Which is why it's a good idea to wear nitril gloves when you're cutting lots of chillis. It takes some time and amount but capsaicin doesn't only get into mucus membranes but also thicker, ordinary, skin.
Oh, and ginger also works.
EdCroquet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There probably is a market for capsaicine-flavored condoms.
Stuff the Pepper
Redbulldildo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are also tastebuds on testicles.
EdCroquet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And they are ready to get acquainted with their oral relatives
skankboy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:22:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"vagina's" Story checks out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to say. Would be tragic as an English teacher.
suesays ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:51:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a good question for someone who's in sex ed
James_Earl_Bones ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:33:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, it's called sex ed for a reason. Otherwise these people would grow up thinking their outlandish thoughts might be true.
natelyswhore22 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Granted this was in 8th grade, but the teacher was discussing STDs and said you could get them from oral sex. This girl was clearly confused and asked, "isn't oral sex just talking about it?"
lamamaloca ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:33:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once thought oral sex was making sex sounds together. It was definitely not talked about in any health class, though.
rabidjellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that too for a bit. It was just another term for phone sex but i started doubting my interpretation when i heard people actually did oral sex.
heyimhayley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I definetely thought oral sex = dirty talk at first. I don't remember how old I was when I learned it was't.
coleosis1414 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:35:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair question.
Youtoo2 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:43:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Response "ask your mom"
Macehammer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:16:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I have to defend his dumb person's perspective on one thing. Blowjobs with condoms are fucking dumb.
Thin-White-Duke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:03:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you don't want STDs.
WatchingTheMartian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smh
Send_Me_Gold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you intend a double meaning here?
Bamboozle_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No but assholes do."
coombuyah26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it was rhetorical?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So women would constantly be tasting pussy, then? Is that why every single one I talk to is gay?
kahund ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best one of the thread. Thanks.
LawLow420 ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 15:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy sincerely asked my teacher "why do refrigerators have light bulbs"?
kashew_kangaroo ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:25:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly if it was in an economic or design class wouldn't be that bad of a question.
LawLow420 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:43:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was AP physics
Lohikaarme27 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:47:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They just let anyone take AP and honors classes nowadays.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:58:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's AP?
jpgunter ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:54:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Advanced placement, so the class is much harder and often counts towards college credit.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:02 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks!
DucktatorDave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What u/jpgunter said, plus at the end of the year, all students across the US taking an AP class for X subject will take the same test (at the same time) and get scored on a scale of 1-5, with 3 being passing. For the most part, AP credit can count for college credit, but not all colleges will accept it (usually more selective ones). And if they do accept AP credit for college credit, you have to get a certain score for the class, which varies amongst different colleges, but will never be below a 3.
Stewbodies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The light bulb on my refrigerator burnt out, probably a few years ago at this point. They have light bulbs for very good reason.
wannitgedditgoddit ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 20:04:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: So in the Saxon times they cooked using fire, hunted animals for food and built their houses out of wood and thatch. They had no electricity.
Child: But Miss they still had electricity, right?
Me: No, I just said no electricity.
Child: But what about solar power?
Me: No!
Child: Yeah Miss those panels you put on the roof I'm thinking about are they solar panels?
Me: Yes..
Child: Yeah well they had those, right?
Me: No...?
Child: But Miss how did they see without any sun?
Me: They had the sun, but they didn't have solar power, they didn't even know what electricity was!
Child: Oh what so they had solar panels but no sun?
Me: THEY WERE CARVING THEIR FUCKING TOOLS FROM WOOD THEY WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT A FUCKING SOLAR PANEL WAS IF IT SMACKED THEM IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!*
...
*didn't actually say this part
noodles-_- ยท 179 points ยท Posted at 14:36:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this girl I went to high school with had some zingers. Once in a basic science class she asked our teacher "so, like, if I go out into space could I catch stars and bring them back in a jar???" She was dead serious and is not mentally handicapped, she's just that ditzy. Another one was in history and we were talking about medieval practices, something about torture came up and she gasps and interrupts, "oh my god did it hurt." Me being my angsty 16 yr old self I yelled out "No shit Rachel!" My teacher would normally have tried to punish me for that but I think the question threw him off enough to let it fly.
Edit: medieval* so sorry to all of ended.
OccasionallySassy ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:17:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's pretty ditzy.
P. S. It's medieval, not mid evil, for future reference.
Astilaroth ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 15:39:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if you take a break during torturing it's mid evil ...
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forfeiture reference.*
touchet29 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:33:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
monkeyselbo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would seem like torture is more than mid evil.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was probably the funniest part of this comment XD
GaimanitePkat ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:11:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bring out...the SOFT CUSHIONS!
ButteryRolls ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our three weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical dedication to the pope.
formative_informer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The comfy chair!
lux514 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And nice red uniforms!
Nicolay77 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:39:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's basically the plot of Stardust.
Well, instead of jars there were... nah, that's a spoiler.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you said she wasn't mentally handicapped.
Stealthy_Totoro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds more like a Phoebe to me...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh dear you went to school with Madeline Bassett
Dr_D-R-E ยท 275 points ยท Posted at 13:59:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I have two:
There was a gem in my high school class who once asked, in an African Studies, class, "What is the
capitolcapital of Africa?" couldn't wrap her head around Africa not being a country.In most medical schools the first 2 years are overwhelmingly classroom based, the 3rd and 4th year are doing things in the hospital, so at the beginning of the 3rd year students are kind of doe eyed around how things work. I watching an ob/gyn case using the Da Vinci robot surgical system as a 4th year student and the 3rd year student who had been following me around that day eventually asked, an hour and a half into the operation, "How does the robot know if it's doing a good enough job?" It took me a solid 40 seconds to figure out she didn't know a doctor was still controlling the machine. Maybe not super hyper common sense, but still funny.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:03:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*capital
Dr_D-R-E ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:28:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just learned "capitol" is an actual building and "capital" is the location. Good eye.
Fiyero109 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:03:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there's no agreement on this but it is thought both come from the latin caput, head.
Caput --> Capitalis (Capital in Latin) - Capital Caput --> Capitolium (Roman Temple) - Capitol (building)
Dr_D-R-E ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:05:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I love reddit, thanks for the heads up
461weavile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought "capitol" was the location and "capital" was the rest: an old exclamation, "uppercase," and object(s) with value given to it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure how widely used capitol is outside of the states- certainly isn't here in the uk
Rcp_43b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well the answer to the capitol question is clearly Diamonds.
cleaver_username ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:10:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a client call into my work several times, in which i have to log her name each time. Every single call, she said it the same way "Africa like the country". I didn't want to correct her, you could tell she was so used to saying it that way to clarify. :(
TubeSteak424242 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:39:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is outside my expertise by a significant margin but I believe that in knee replacement surgery they have a robot that does the bone cutting to make ready for the implant to be installed. Because it is critical that the cuts be done properly (e.g. at the right angles) the robot basically does the work while the surgeon monitors to make sure things don't go haywire. So the assumption that a robot has to be guided by a human is not correct.
Dr_D-R-E ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:04:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen the MAKOplasty in person, I did a burn ICU rotation instead of orthopedic surgery (don't ever catch on fire, ever) so I'm not anything close to and expert either but here's a video of them actually removing bone in the process I think you're talking about. They spend a lot of time calibrating coordinates for the surface of the bone as well as getting a CT scan of the joint so that the machine can set up parameters that the surgeon needs to keep the drill inside of, essentially a safety zone for necessary removal to take place within. Ex. if the surgeon tries drilling too far to the left, the arm locks up, essentially keeping them inside the zone where bone removal is necessary. The surgeon, through the whole process, however, is the one pulling the trigger to drill and articulating the arm. The arm just makes sure they stay in the right place and remove enough of the bone. Ultimately, though, the surgeon is still the pilot and the assumption that the robot has to be guided by a human is correct.
It's pretty cool stuff. Let me know if I outlined something different than what you were referring too, haha. :P
Astilaroth ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's a good robot? Hmmm whooo's a good robot? Yes you are! patpat
AllegedlyNorah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, there are quite a few adults that think that Africa is a country...
jeffbell ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The capital of Africa used to be Zama but then it moved to Carthage.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:55:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dr_D-R-E ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blah, yeah, that's annoying AF. I was gonna say something ignorant like, Well maybe Americans wouldn't recognize the shapes of individual African countries and then I realized I have no idea what shape Germany or Bolivia are, either.
thedoodely ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:00:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bolivia looks a bit like Chad tileted 90 degrees to the right. Germany kinda looks like Tanzania. Does that help?
Dr_D-R-E ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got it, forever, thanks!
SeenSoFar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Cape Town, South Africa about half the time, and during the other half, when I'm abroad, I'm constantly dealing with people thinking Africa is a country, or conversely, not knowing South Africa is a country. I've gotten:
"South Africa? So what, like Kenya or Nigeria?"
"Cape Town is the capitol of Africa, right?
"I get that you're from South Africa but what country do you live in?"
As well as various other ignorant questions and comments:
"You live in Africa?! But you're not black!"
(Upon seeing photos of my houses in different African countries) "You can't fool me, that's not Africa! There's no high-rises in Africa, and there's certainly no paved roads!"
(Upon seeing photos of my wife) "They let you marry a black woman? I'm surprised they didn't kill you!"
"You're a race traitor!"
"Why would you want to live in a hell-hole like Africa? There's nothing to do but starve, cook in the sun, and get murdered."
I'll add in that almost every ignorant comment I've ever gotten came from an American. I'm not saying all Americans are ignorant, but ignorant Americans sure are vocal with their ignorance!
chefranden ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:57:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you went to school with Sarah Palin?
Dr_D-R-E ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:06:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To Sarah Palin's credit, she has fantastic eye sight.
IamGimli_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Besides, most countries don't have a capitol anyway.
thatgrrrl117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MaddotMax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my senior year of high school, my marketing teacher referred to Africa as a country once... needless to say she wasn't the best teacher.
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have scoffed at other kids in primary school for assuming Africa was a big country but I didn't really stop thinking about it like that until my twenties.
Back2Bach ยท 690 points ยท Posted at 13:56:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a music appreciation class about early instruments, including the harpsichord, clavichord and virginal.
One student raised his hand and asked, quite seriously, "Is a virginal an instrument that's never been played?"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginals#/media/File:Virginal.jpg
coffeebugtravels ยท 191 points ยท Posted at 14:34:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that is a valid question...
Although the Smithsonian Institution classifies them as harpsichords.
wafflewhimsy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:11:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have always thought it was spelled "harpISchord." Only came to the realization with your comment I've been pronouncing it wrong my entire life.
coffeebugtravels ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:39:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had many words in my lifetime that I've done that with.
Chipotle comes to mind!
Thankfully nuclear was never one of them! (Gah!)
wafflewhimsy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:53:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you pronounce it "chi-po-tull"? :)
Unfortunately I had a long-standing problem with mispronunciation when I was younger that occasionally still trips me up. Compromise was "com-promise" instead of "com-pro-mize;" faรงade became "fa-kade" instead of "fa-saad;" arrogant became "ah-RO-gant" instead of "arrow-gant;" and my personal favorite, colonel was "call-o-null" instead of "kernel" (which honestly still makes no sense!). Plus many more, but like you, thankfully nuclear was never one of them either!
climber_g33k ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:02:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you read a lot as a kid? I had a friend in high school, brilliant girl, who learned almost her whole vocabulary from reading or watching subbed anime. This lead to mispronounced words quite often.
wafflewhimsy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:09:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did read a ton as a kid (I was that girl with her head in a book dodging kids in the hall during breaks) and I think you're right. Seems to be quite a common theme for avid readers. I'm glad I'm not the only one that sometimes fails at pronunciation!
climber_g33k ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha her too! And every lunch break was spent in the library.
crimsonfury73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same problem for me! Lots of embarrassment over the years because of it.
Facade was an issue for me, too, and epitome also comes to mind. I literally thought "eh-pih-tome" and "e-pit-o-me" were two different words for over a decade.
Harmonex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:33 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You exactly described my sister.
coffeebugtravels ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the most common (non-correct) pronunciation is chi-PO-tull.
That's what my family called it for years! Only one of my brothers had ever eaten there and he kept telling us about it, so none of us had actually seen the name.
Once we did, we all realized we were saying it wrong and mocked him mercilessly! ::shrugs::
wafflewhimsy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I'd ever encountered the word before I heard an ad for the restaurant, because otherwise I would be in the same boat. And the best family dynamics involve merciless mocking - especially with repeated use of the incorrect pronunciation (with optional inclusion of overly-exaggerated eye rolls and/or elbow nudges) to really rub it in.
traugdor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
start saying call-o-null as quickly as you can and start to mumble
it starts to sounds like kernel and that's how we got the procunciation we have today.
malonkey1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, after a long session playing harp-iss-chord, I always like to get a burrito with chipot-ull sauce and nucular-hot peppers.
BuddyUpInATree ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:39:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't forget the stuffed Jallappinoes
legaladult ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, you're right. Me too.
wafflewhimsy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not alone! :D
legaladult ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now we know. :)
dawn_of_thyme ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 15:01:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That student was just being a smart ass
lost_sock ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:27:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I suspect, but even if he was being totally serious I think it's a sign of intelligence to try and apply what you know about the meanings of other words to try and form a hypothesis for what something could mean.
xanplease ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:42:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For real. That kid is a linguist in training if he wasn't just being a clown.
ThreeLZ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:17:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats a bit of a stretch, it was just a pun.
xanplease ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:24:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he got his gf pregnant and didn't know yet.
When my gf told me she was pregnant the first sentence out of my mouth (after a bit of silence and she was done crying) was "Hi pregnant, I'm dad" while laughing/crying. :)
cheeseburgerwaffles ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of that instrument. I probably would've thought the same thing
tritnic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:15:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason I know what it is is because of Discworld.
"It's not a --ing harpsichord, it's a --ing virginal," growled Mr. Tulip. "One --ing string to a note instead of two! So called because it was an instrument for --ing young ladies!"
benunciojr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
happy cake day mane bruh
Qtea831 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy cake day
eamonn33 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:35:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"so called because it was an instrument for โing young ladies"
rachnisaur ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:42:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it? I thought it was just a sort of early piano!
Grumpy_Kong ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:55:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah Messrs Tulip and Pin. Such a great comic duo.
I miss you so much Sir Pratchett...
legoclone09 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:09:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
BaunillaEyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is until you put your dick in it.
intensely_human ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
34 years old, and I have never heard of a virginal.
TriRight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally me as well
BigDisk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm totally stealing that joke.
JJohny394 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We had this music appreciation class, that nobody appreciated..."
-John Mulaney
Alien_Liver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
man i really hope he was making a dad joke
kjata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
--from The Truth, by Terry Pratchett
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I struggled with virgin and extra virgin olive oil for years.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Virgin Mobile? Virgin Islands? Virgin Airlines?
crushcastles23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has only basic knowledge of instruments, that's a serious question.
Audrey71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that was intentional it's pretty great.
OPs_other_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the pic. I had an instrument similar to that growing up. It wasn't exactly that but it was...
Like a virginal.... Hey!
touched for the very first time
bobr05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the French Whore-n.
irishman178 ยท 1074 points ยท Posted at 11:29:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally this month
Mr. Irishman178, why we have off monday, is it independence day or something?
It was MLK day. Im the history teacher.
Edit: My college fandom betrays me, i am a US teacher
[deleted] ยท 1152 points ยท Posted at 11:35:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're not doing a good job then.
spacemanspiff30 ยท 372 points ยท Posted at 12:51:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that's wrong. It's because they're still going over ancient Rome. They don't move past Columbus until a week before finals.
richalex2010 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 15:01:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And for more modern history they don't move past the Depression until then. They gloss over WWI, and the whole first semester was covering the colonization of Virginia and the revolutionary war (but Virginia was the important state, nothing really critical happened anywhere else except for a couple of early scuffles in Boston). And it's the same things you learned for the last five years in a row.
Why yes, I barely learned precolonial history (or even much about non-Virginia history) until I moved to another state for 11th grade (at 16).
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:13:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
richalex2010 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:28:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, in a nutshell. We did get a few field trips to Williamsburg and Yorktown at least.
grorterdorg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why i hated history until i went out and looked into European history. That's all I was taught as a kid.
ritchie70 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:32:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had two semesters of US history in high school in the mid 80's.
(Or maybe it was two years. Now I can't remember.)
The first class was basically 1492 to 1900.
The second class consisted of approximately one week on WWI, most of the class on WWII, and the last week on post-WWII, but not past the 50's. Slight mention of Korean war, no mention of Vietnam.
The second class was taught by a man who was a veteran of WWII. He insisted on calling it "the big one" despite that normally being a reference to WWI.
I assume to him, Vietnam was "current events" not "history."
Nathanial_Jones ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:56:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, history is my favorite subject and it's just a travesty how its taught. No other subject do you learn literally the same thing repeatedly for years with so little progress or with so low little regard actually finishing the curriculum. It's so bad that it's only now, my junior year of high school, that I mean learning about WWII. Just about all of my knowledge about it has come outside of school.
richalex2010 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:01:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really is, I love history but hated almost every history class I ever took.
BuddyUpInATree ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've learned more history at the back of a public library than from any school teacher
Elivey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hated every history class I took in highschool. LOVED EVERY history class I took in college!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just imagine the year 2100, you still won't even get to learning about the 1980's. I mean, even now, history classes only get up to Vietnam War, then finals. As more decades go by, less history is learned, because of the wide gap between (re)founding of America to present day.
Nathanial_Jones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well in 85 years I imagine how we teach would change quite significantly.
princessdracos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:57 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for the late comment, but I always tell people that I didn't know shit about modern history because I grew up in the Shenandoah Valley; because of this, we started with Jamestown and Williamsburg, spent a good chunk of time on the American Revolution, then got stuck on the American Civil War until the end of the year because we were surrounded by so much history from the time. Rehashing the same material every year also made me believe I hated history, so I never took the initiative to learn about Korea and Vietnam until I was long out of high school.
malonkey1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:32:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with history is that it keeps happening, so you gotta keep cramming more stuff in every year. Congress needs to ban history from happening for at least 5 or 6 years so textbook writers can get things straight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, just remove the whole 1800's, and pretend slavery never happened, then you cram more stuff in. /s
just_a_random_dood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice username BTW
spacemanspiff30 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks dood
canIchangethis_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:07:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school didn't even mention anything after the American Civil War until I took AP World in high school. Then AP World talked about WW1 and WW2 in the same Chapter (meaning we covered both in 1 week).
Scarecrobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Canadian I thought AP classes were supposed to good classes. What was the start point of the course? The US Civil War? When I had to take Canadian history in gr 10 we probably spent a month or a month in half on ww1/2 not including the inter war years
Curt04 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:42:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a High School in a US state not known for having good education and we spent an adequate time on the big events. Idk where that guy went to school or if he is just full of shit. The US has little national guidance for states or local school districts to follow so things vary a lot.
bioqueer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because of the lack of curriculum guidance you can miss out on a lot by moving. In ninth grade I transferred schools 3 months into the year and completely missed WWI. I still to go back and teach myself history to make up for how piecemeal my education was.
stellacobalt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but don't forget Common Core is the devil
bioqueer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have read science common core standards and designed CC compliant lesson plans for a nonprofit to bring to classes, don't get why everyone hates it so much. Yes the testing is a PITA but the standards are really well written and planned to build off each other
Mellow_Fries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alabama or Kentucky?
canIchangethis_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry I think I explained it badly. The class was an AP World History class so it covered pretty much all of human history. Still, only 1 week on both of them combined is bad. They didn't bring up the world wars prior to taking AP World.
BlitzTakesRisks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm taking AP World History and you're so right. But to be fair we finished 4 Units in the course of 1 semester
Camwood7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did it the first week AFTER finals.
Dreamcast3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's Spaceman Spiff, explaining history to his fellow redditors!
cowbear42 ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 14:07:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We all know that we you can't teach MLK before February.
50calPeephole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then its MLK all day every day. Hated this about school- all or nothing.
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's as bad as the black public relations officer who got shot by his colleagues.
dreamtofalligators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even the best teacher can only make most of the kids pull their heads out of their asses most of the time.
awkward_quasar ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 13:46:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I don't have MLK day memorized either
Socialbutterfinger ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:51:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you also think Independence Day is sometimes in January?
adaminc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they are in Brunei, Cameroon, Czech Republic, Haiti, Samoa, Sudan, Myanmar, Ukraine, or Nauru!
ThreeLZ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:08:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
those places dont celebrate mlk day, nice try
Cannon1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:05:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time MLK day rolls around it reminds me to buy milk, and that I dont have enough calcium in my diet.
David367th ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:07:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but Independence Day isn't in January
bitwaba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Day off school in January -> MLK day. Get ready to learn about black history in school next month.
Day off school in February -> Presidents day
Already out of school -> Independence day
samuelk1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:14:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird that you make your kids call you by your Reddit username.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:47:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shut up samuelk1
cheeseburgerwaffles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:38:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't recall getting mlk day off in school
Radioactive24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure I did in grade school.
I know I did in college.
Avalire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you? I always did.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well in Ireland we don't get a holiday for MLK day, so you can understand their confusion.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's "Irish"
vaska00762 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MLK day in Ireland? Never experienced it.
BananaBork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was genuinely confused why Ireland gets a day off for MLK day then.
Audric_Sage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In his defense, not everyone pays attention to that. Back when I was a Jehovah's Witness, I didn't even know when Christmas was. I knew it was in December but that was about it.
50calPeephole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe his family refers to it as James Earl Ray Day?
EkriirkE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know it was MLK day either. I thought that was in feb w/ black history month...
ForrestISrunnin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What state do you teach in? Do you enjoy teaching history? I'm aiming to be a history teacher and can't wait to hit the ground running.
irishman178 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PA. I like teaching but im not a huge fan of my current school. Dont think MS is for me. Just be aware teaching has changed a lot in recent years, the test takes priority over everything
YakaFokon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was he black?
irishman178 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was
RoboPup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:52 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that's the first time I've heard of a Martin Luther King Day.
ImVFD ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 14:44:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one day, in science class, we were talking about water, and If there was no more water left to drink, what could we do. A guy just said: "Well, we could always drink juice"
Tojax_ ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
French royalty lives on through that guy.
Houseton ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:01:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you look at it like this. Is there no water left anywhere including in stuff? Then humans are dead because we'd have no water left in us. If there is no water (like in wells or rivers/oceans) but there is still plants, we could juice the plants/fruit for the little water they'd have remaining in them depending on when water ran out.
BeeCJohnson ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer is "the blood of the weak."
Silverdragon701 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Let them eat cake."
sashawp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:55 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GOOD point
flyspaghetticon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underrated comment
frostweaver ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 14:57:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was only student teaching at the time. It was a high school biology class on human reproduction unit. We are talking about sperms. My mentor teacher asked "so what is the purpose of glucose in human sperm?" A student replied in a genuine manner: "so it tastes sweet?"
Polite_Werewolf ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:34:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't "sperm" the singular and the plural?
General_Mayhem ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:06:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to be incredibly generous, that's marginally plausible - if you assume that oral sex makes for happier/more stable couplings, then anything that encourages it could end up generically selected for.
TooBusyToLive ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:57:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not bad, but does rely on the assumption that happier/more stable couplings leads to more babies than unhappy couplings. Not sure if that's the case haha.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:49:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not wrong
OnymousCoward ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:43:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No, and your partner might want to get tested for diabetes"
DasJuden63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get that reference!
ColdStoneSkeevAutism ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:01:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher should have smiled, winked, and pointed at that student with finger guns.
ScarletNumbers ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 22:50:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
grade and gender of the student?
usernumber36 ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 13:41:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If I change what I wrote to the right answer, will it be right"?
in fairness she was just trying to find excuses to talk to me because she liked me. but still...
The_Kisho ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 14:46:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there was an parallel universe where that question wasn't stupid, would it be smart?
hellafyno ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:30:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can mirrors be real?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucking dying here.
Galrowre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there was a parallel universe where you weren't dying, would you be living?
Helbig312 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read parallelogram instead of parallel. Made it 10 times funnier.
BlayAndHowlie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:33:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it would be in between
theLast_brontosaurus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Acceptable context: Doing a physics problem with many steps, got the wrong solution due to a math error (or something dumb like that), and ask if you change the final answer will everything else be right- i.e asking if changing the solution is the only problem or were there errors in the process as well
Polite_Werewolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably walked away from that conversation and thought "... what did I just say?"
JJohny394 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:37:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a teacher? Because that would be an instant red flag. That shit can go nasty real quick, and it's always your fault. (Not saying you are doing something wrong, just a heads up to teachers)
usernumber36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am, but this wasn't school teaching, it was university level.
Teacher instinct still got me to stay clear of that one. I just can't get my brain to cross that boundary.
JJohny394 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good stuff. I am not a teacher but I have heard stories of teachers being falsely accused and never truly recovering from that. It's a shame really.
mechafroggie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:18 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Story time?
usernumber36 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:52:12 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not much story to tell. I used to float around helping different students here and there, and she seemed to like my explanations and enthusiasm and things. Started asking more and more questions, some of which seemed like they were kind of... time-wastey. Year went on she would actually leave her class and teacher and come over to mine at the opposite end of the room to come and chat to me about basically nothing (more than one class in the same space). She was awesome but I couldn't bring myself to go there for some weird reason.
CoolShorts ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:05:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you two get married?
usernumber36 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
she was cute af but nah fam.
NetworkAuditor2 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 14:53:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not teacher, but with my own ears, I heard one of my classmates ask "Were there cars in Ancient Greece?"
That same student went on that year with jewels like "If you get in a bad car accident can you break a chromosome?"
This one isn't even a question but the last thing I heard of that student before I left was (in class, to a teacher, during a lecture) "if we turned out all the lights, it would be dark in here."
This all took place in High School.
Stewbodies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That chromosome question actually sounds pretty interesting, how damaged would your DNA be by a car crash? I know it probably wouldn't cause any significant damage for one cell to break a chromosome, but does blunt trauma cause damage to chromosomes?
NetworkAuditor2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was interesting too! And I guess that's how he meant it. But in context it sure didn't seem like it xD
EdgarFrogandSam ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you capitalize ancient smarty-pants?
Triton_330 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it really matter?
Hotlunch4011 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 17:20:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Culinary Arts instructor here- I had a young commis ask me "Chef, if people don't kill people; guns kill people... Doesn't that mean that toasters don't toast toast; toast toasts toast?"
This was before Jaden Smith had twitter.
guardian1691 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 15:14:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in Biology in 9th grade a girl asked, "You mean people in China aren't standing upside-down?"
She legitimately thought people on the other side of the Earth stood on their heads. For something like 2.5 years this girl was in the running to be our valedictorian because she just soaked up whatever the teacher said like a sponge. She was real dumb and had zero common sense.
gunabchaos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:42:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably watched Alice in wonderland
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:56:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that's what she meant. Relative to us they are "upside down".
guardian1691 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. That comment from the teacher is what sparked her confusion. During the back and forth she admitted that she thought they were on their heads.
supremecrafters ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what you're saying is that she learned the material, but not the skills? Why is this even a problem in today's society?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:11:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
fierce_jellybean ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:12:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then what's the point of even acquiring knowledge in the first place? And how could you make it through school by not understanding the concepts? Actually, scratch that. I could see it happening. All you'd have to do is to do well on tests and such.
mrchimmie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:40 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is my sister, gets straight A's, but doesn't know the difference between geography and geometry...
pardineprincess ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 15:52:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher" disclaimer but two things come to mind.
1) More than half way through our two-year American History course (with the same students and teacher the whole time), someone raised his hand and asked "Who is this Amer guy and how is he still around?" That was how our teacher abbreviated America
2) This one is actually a response to a question. We were reading a novel about WWII and a student asked, "I know this is off topic, but we never really talk about WWI, why did it start?" This other student whips around and says, "You idiot, there was no WWI!" That one became pretty infamous.
quantasmm ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:37:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was back-named WWI. Those fighting in it called it "The Great War".
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:52:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the words of David Mitchell, it would have been the act of a pessimist to call it the first world war right away.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fairly sure they go on to say that the term was coined before the second world war
pardineprincess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I seriously doubt that a girl who was born in the 90s fought in The Great War
quantasmm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She could if our galaxy collided with another galaxy and a star passed between the earth and the moon, because then anything could happen.
Waldopemersonjones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1890s bro
Iloathwinter ยท 730 points ยท Posted at 12:49:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me give you a bit of context first. I teach Social Science in Sweden, ages 16-18, and this particular question came from an 18-yr old.
We had been working on a theme about crime, punishment, legislation, and we had devoted a couple of hours on the issue of file-sharing - whether it should be legal/illegal, the morality of it etc, so on the test I included a question about file-sharing. Both because I knew we had covered it in class, and because I knew that every single one of them was "guilty" of file-sharing. ;-) As I always do when handing out a text or quiz, I ask my students to read all questions before starting to answer them. As they started reading the questions, one of them looks up at me and asks:
"Mr Iloathwinter, what is file-sharing?"
There was a moment of complete and utter silence in the class-room, and then his classmates opened up on him, and my god, they were savage!
The thing is, he just experienced a temporary brain-freeze (test-nerves probably), and I could see it in his eyes right after he asked the question, that it dawned on him - you know that "Oh SHIT!"-expression!
To his credit, he took it like a champ, just sat there and nodded as he got roasted so bad not even the best burn ward would've taken him in as salvageable.
Edited for typos: "..ages 16-8.." Eight!! face-palms
petridish21 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:50:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you let them rip a student apart like that?
Horizon96 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:35:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because teenagers love banter, if it clearly isn't upsetting the kid just let it carry on.
Erikbam ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:38:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah comon they are 18. If you can't deal with some backslash from a stupid question you are just going to act like a child infront of your class.
Source: 17 year old Swedish student.
petridish21 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:20:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you meant to reply to me. I agree some backlash is totally fine. But he describes it as though they relentlessly tore the kid down. I think op probably just exaggerated to make the story more interesting
Iloathwinter ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, both yes and no. The other kids were pretty savage, but I knew this particular kid both could take it in good humour ('cuz he knew he posed a dumb-ass question), and that he could dish it out himself, so I let the other kids have their moment, but I never let it get out of control, i.e. to the point that it got actually hurtful.
petridish21 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:06:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said the kid took it like a champ but that doesn't mean the kid was not upset. Most kids won"t actually show that it is bothering them because then they will get made fun of for that. Also, what he describes as the most brutal roast of someone doesn't sound like banter
ffngg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:24:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are pretty chill. Depending on the class they probably wouldn't roast someone they're not sure would take it.
Iloathwinter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See my answer above. I made sure he was ok afterwards, and that it never got out of hand at the time.
supremecrafters ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:43:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having some kid take the brunt of a teenage banter war was probably very anxiety-relieving for the other students, which really helps them right before a test.
I'm just really glad that the kid who got torn into was cool with it and I hope he did well on the test too.
Iloathwinter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:49:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, he did. If my memory serves me correctly, he got a "C" on it.
REJECTED_FROM_MENSA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:42:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is a "C" grade is considered good work in your country? In America, it's only Fair/Average.
Ribo19 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:38:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweden has a different grading system with the grades A/B/C/D/E/F, Where F is fail, E is just passing, D is between C and E, C being the middle ground between acing and just passing etc
Centaurus_Cluster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not?
petridish21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean he describes it as the most brutal roast of a kid who just had a momentary dumb moment. He isn't exactly promoting an open educational environment
Iloathwinter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it was with that class. This was just a moment of test-nerves with them all, and they un-leashed on this kid. It didn't matter how many times I told them that the tests didn't count that much towards their grades, it was the classroom participation that mattered most. As soon it was time for a test, they all cramped up, but in the normal classroom environment they were amazing! Ideas and theories were bandied about, there was an absolute acceptance of different viewpoints, but come test-time? Blaarghh!?!?!?!?
petridish21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha sorry I didn't mean for this to become a whole big thing or to question your teaching ability. It just sounded so bizarre to me. It sounds like it was all in good fun though thanks for clearing it up!
Iloathwinter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No big deal! :-) It was all taken in stride at the time, and I couldn't help myself either, I couldn't prevent a smile to show on my face when I heard some of the comments. Sure, some were pretty brutal, but not one crossed the line.
placebotwo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because this happened in a civilized country.
gizmo6060 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:22:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"...but why male models?"
GeneralTonic ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 15:12:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweden's idiots make America's idiots look pretty dumb.
omnichronos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, this is the country of the Pirate Party.
starman28 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Side question: What's wrong with winter? I love winter, but I see not enough reasons to loathe winter.
TheInvisibleDuck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is from Sweden and I hear it's pretty cold up there. Lots of snow
Iloathwinter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I hate shoveling that white stuff. Other that that, I'm cool with winter.
VirginiaValor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to look up wtf file-sharing was after this post
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:24:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fy fan. SO pรฅ gymnasiet ska vรคl inte behรถva vara sรฅ krรฅngligt?
ffngg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nรค det รคr rรคtt sรฅ lรคtt. Iallafall pรฅ sam 1.
Iloathwinter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Njaa... det hรคr var i en Sh3-kurs, sรฅ det det var vรคl tรคnkt att vara krรฅngligt. ;-)
ffngg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah
420N1CKN4M3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:20:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ฤjrkeoemslvurjw ฤฃnnxvkdiehi ฤทwwlwocirjeeer?
sojoe17 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:27:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is I don't know if this is a joke or actually some weird Scandinavian language
Erikbam ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:39:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aegeus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:33:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tried putting it into Google Translate. First one came up as this, in Swedish:
Second one was untranslatable.
Erikbam ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:38:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. This.
Source: Swedish.
mrsexy115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy cow. Do the two w's make a special sound?
BakinToast ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:27:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whole language is special sounds, man.
HellFireOmega ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Special sounds for special people ;)
Heblas ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:37:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just gibberish
mrsexy115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh lol. Got me!
420N1CKN4M3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same pronunciation as the tripple e's actually!
Just listen for yourself!
planvital ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That roasting mentality just irks me lol
turn_king ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:09:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Swedish social science teacher can you answer a few questions?
a) Why are white people to blame for every problem in the world?
b) How does Muslim cock taste?
c) How does it feel that America will be made great again while you're nation turns into Swedanistan?
mammarymastication ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really a stupid question. Not everyone is tech savvy, and there is more than one term for file sharing. And such a garrulous post you've written.
People are afraid to ask questions because of teachers like you.
10thDoctorTeacher ยท 201 points ยท Posted at 13:59:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late, but best one I have: We're watching documentaries in black and white (I think the great depression). Kid raises his hand, I call on him, he says "never mind its a stupid question." I say, " there are no stupid questions, go ahead." He proceeds with "did they have color back then? Like, in real life?" I was dumbfounded, and could not keep a straight face. Turns out, there are stupid questions.
Puthery ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:41:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calvin and Hobbes anyone?
TheNessLink ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:56:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
painters used different shades of grey and the color got added later
Joshua_notJosh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:48:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Color didn't get added until the 90's sometime and it was pretty grainy for a while too
Getmo_ritz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:00:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not going to lie, I used to think the same thing ... When I was 5.
BigDisk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To this day, black and white pictures/movies creep me the hell out.
aGeordie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:36:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I probably would have laughed too but then probed as to where the question came from. Inquisitive minds are a wonderful thing and being allowed to fail is part of learning.
10thDoctorTeacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:44:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did try to help, but I just didn't know where to start. This was also close to my first year or so teaching, so I'm more experienced now.
ShaidarHaran2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:00:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the same thing when I was maybe 5. I think it's probably fairly common, depending on how old that kid was.
10thDoctorTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach juniors in high school, so I'm not sure how he was still confused
sodakid1919 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you pretend to realize the world is now in color and start having a mental breakdown. "HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN LIKE THIS!?" Bonus points for convincing the other students your schizophrenic.
shane201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he had the look on his face like "I trusted you,"
malonkey1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, obviously they didn't. There's film evidence right there.
Lasdary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was about 12 years old, watching the recolorized version of the El Zorro series at home and I asked my mother if it had been filmed in that era or if it was all a set. I wasn't even finished with the sentence and my brain started hitting the sides of my skull trying to escape the stupidness inside my head.
BestIsMatty2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this until I was like 10 :'(
knigoliza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember thinking that in kindergarten!
IsZizekacharlatan ยท 372 points ยท Posted at 13:24:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I distinctly recall a year nine (13-14 years old) classmate of mine asking "Do you die if you get shot?", and "Where's Dutch?". She then proceeded to assert that the battle of the Somme took place in Yorkshire.
yokayla ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 14:21:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, England speaks English. Spain speaks Spanish. France speaks French. Gefmany speaks German. Then theres the Netherlands...
Sam-Gunn ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 14:56:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
America speaks American, Canada speaks Canadian, Mexico speaks Mexican...
Sezess ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:25:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh...yeah...
Sam-Gunn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ireland speaks Irish, The Gambia speaks Gambino, Ukraine speaks Russian, China speaks Chinese, Japan speaks Nipponese, Australia speaks Australian, and so on and so forth.
molotok_c_518 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:17:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ukraine speaks Ukrainian, which is almost, but not quite, like Russian.
At least, that's what the Russian professor at college told us when 2 of the students piped in that they spoke Ukrainian.
ruslan40 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:29:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About half of the Ukraine speaks Russian as a first language, though. I know a few Ukrainians from the Eastern part, born and raised, who have trouble understanding and conversing in Ukrainian.
Mejari ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chinese speak Mandarin, and like a dozen others
Sam-Gunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, the joke is that more countries don't speak a language named after their country than those that do. China has a lot of various regional dialects and regional languages, which IMO is pretty neat.
thtrf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way more, they are like 1.3 billion
willi_con_carne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cantonese
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They do speak Irish in Ireland.
Sam-Gunn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:23:45 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gaelic is the historical language, and English.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:57 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While Gaelic is definitely one name for it, Irish is also entirely fine.
I can take pictures of the dozen or so Irish language textbooks on my shelf, if you're still not convinced.
gameld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, you could justify those as...
due to the fact that they are each distinct dialects, and even in American there are dialects (e.g. the Texas "accent" is much more than an accent). I'm sure the same is true of Canadian and Mexican though I don't know enough about those to comment.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The various forms of Spanish are... quite distinct in several ways.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
people from America are Americans, people from Canada are Canadians, ... Mexicans etc etc.
people from the Netherlands are Dutch. There, happy now?
Arsustyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dog speaks dog, ant speaks ant, human speaks human...
JewishHippyJesus ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 14:54:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Gefmany speaks gefman, not German.
SudoKun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:55:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My language is gef.
GieterHero ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:55:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just the english making it hard though. If you'd literally translate the dutch name for the dutch language, it'd be "netherlandish".
eccentrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what they didn't use Dietsch?
graaahh ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:17:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'll be honest, the Netherlands confused the hell out of me for a good long while when I was a kid. Like first, was it the Netherlands or Holland? Everyone always says Dutch people are from Holland, but that's not a country. And it's right next to a country that sometimes gets called Deutschland, but that's where Germans are from because that's actually Germany. Etc. I have it all figured out now but it's pretty confusing, especially to an English speaker.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:39:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically most countries on the European mainland are actually quite new amalgamations of other little countries so have lots of different names within them. It's confusing to someone with a British idea of history because the traditional nations of the British Isles are actually some of the oldest in the world.
Rexel-Dervent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The confusion of tribes, clans, republics and ("irregular") language borders on the mainland makes some interesting countries but is quite hard to explain, even to natives. Like the Sorbs and Frisians, Danish Baltic, Finn-Swedes, ร land, Kaliningrad and Belgium.
eccentrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The English used to call their own language Dutch, you know from the time of Alt Aenglisc when it sounds more like Danish than French, then the French invasion happened yadda yadda, and the french-english-newspeak speakers says the Dutch are speaking something similar to the Dutch of the grandparents and says that the Dutch are actually speaking the Dutch and that happened.
The_iron_mill ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:30:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, I love scenic Gefmany in the winteftime. The beautiful castles, bfatwufst, beef, and shopping distfict. Love it.
molotok_c_518 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but I feel like this is where the S&M shops are located.
Harmonex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:34 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gesundheit.
Rivuzu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:54:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same logic... Brazilians speak Portuguese, Mexicans speak Spanish, Americans speak English.
Unless there's a Brazilish, Mexicanish and Americanish.
yokayla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd assume this person is British though.
Rivuzu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:13:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure on the relevance of that? It's not like we don't recognise countries out of the EU.
Not yet anyway.
Sorryaboutthedoghair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having had to manage product translations, I'm pretty sure Spain would be delighted if the world recognized that Mexicans speak Mexicanish. Our distributor was livid with the translations.
Puthery ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:37:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To make matters worse the Germans call Germany "dutchland" (not sure on the spelling please correct me)
escapetovelvet ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 14:41:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deutschland. :)
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:12:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So close yet so far
starman28 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:43:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a problem though, German people call the German Language Deutsch, so it's understandable that The Land of the German/Deutsch speakers would be Germany or Deutschland.
edit: forgot a suffix
Helmerj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They speak nether English nor French
Fishandchips_88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Officially, Dutch is known as Netherlandic, but then I've never heard anyone call it that and would probably laugh if they did.
DrArsone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do they speak Netherleese?
Chasingthesnitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little my dad told me that part of my family came from Wales. Naturally I thought that meant we were Walish.
FrisianDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nederlanders in Nederland spreken Nederlands. Germans are also fairly well known for not speaking German but Deutsch, because secretly they are Deutsch from Deutschland.
throwaway969798 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:12:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where is Dutch? well this is a good question. I guess it really isn't anywhere. now if you wanna know where they speak Dutch that would be the Netherlands. why you ask? Because fuck you that's why. we aren't making it easy for you!
__Noodles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:55:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... Dutch live in Netherlands and speak Dutch but it's totally cool to call it Holland even though that's only two provinces in the country.
When I meet Dutch people traveling I'm not shy to tell them their home makes no sense.
Isoldael ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:55:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it's only in English that none of it makes sense. In Dutch, we call the Netherlands "Nederland" and our language is called "Nederlands"
__Noodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL... Ok, now about Holland being interchangeable with Netherlands?
Isoldael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We mainly only use it when cheering for our national team. When asked where we're from when speaking dutch, we'd always say "Nederland". Personally I suspect part of using "Holland" when speaking english is the fact that we get to avoid the "th" sound, which many of us aren't very good at.
HotJuniper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it only doesn't make sense because English thought Germany = The Netherlands and so the German name for their own language 'Deutsch' got adopted into English as the name for the language from the Netherlands 'Dutch'. It makes total sense in Dutch.
throwaway969798 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In english it absolutely doesnt make any sense in dutch though its pretty logical
Ezmar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:58:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That last one doesn't seem outrageous at all, though I'm a US Citizen, have poor retention of history, and only vaguely know what the battle of the Somme or where Yorkshire is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, different countries for a start. I get it though, it's not completely ridiculous if you mix up where then trench war happened.
alahos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found Dutch. He's in da choppa.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does, when there's only enough water for one proppa cuppa.
arsenalfc1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhh this reminds me of Seinfeld - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL4QfvIrUf4
G: What is Holland?
J: What do you mean, what is it? It's a country right next to Belgium.
G: No, that's the Netherlands.
J: Holland IS the Netherlands!
G: Then who are the Dutch??
JoeyJoJoJrShabado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't Yorkshire a kind of pudding?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one about the die by getting shot. I think it's an example where you have a valid question and there is a lot to it but end up asking a simple question that doesn't reflect what you are actually wondering. Obviously you get hurt, but let's say it's not anywhere vital, what are the effects of a gunshot wound in that area? She was probably wondering what happens to the bullet once it penetrates the body. Does it being there poisonous to the body? And then some people just aren't sure. If you get shot in the hand you're not gonna die, but people are gonna freak out like they are especially after seeing a significant amount of blood. Also in multimedia like movies, games we more often see one shot kills (usually skilled marksman) or they have to basically be revived after being shot.
Tesatire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin moved to Amsterdam when I was a kid. We were constantly teasing some of the relatives because they couldn't remember where she moved.
One day I tried to give them a hint "They speak Dutch there."
His eyes widen with a sense of understanding "OOOOOH. She's in Dutchland."
I believe this was the first time I face-palmed. Was it a good hint? No. Did I think he would create a fake country? No. So now it's an ongoing joke that has lasted over 20 years. "Where's Dutchland again, Rudy?"
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mates auntie said while we were watching an international football/soccer game said.
"They're dirty bastards (fouling a lot) aren't they, these Hollanders?!
Her son (also a dope but not quite as bad) laughed and got smacked. One of those moments as a kid where you're doing so well to suppress your laugh until you catch a glimpse of your friend doing the same and explode in laughter.
eoJ1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both reasonable questions. 1st one - maybe. Depends where, what with, how fast help arrives...
[deleted] ยท 589 points ยท Posted at 14:33:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in physics asked, "If there's a speed of light...what's the speed of dark?"
Edit: for all of you saying, "that's actually a valid and interesting question", I agree. However, let me give you some context (as I should have done originally).
This girl often showed up late and would ask questions for things the professor had answered either before she got there, or minutes before because she often did her makeup in the back and wasn't paying attention. Her grasp of the core concepts was weak, at best. While I can't read minds...I'm fairly certain she wasn't asking a deep existential and abstract question as an inverse to the state of illumination.
glynxpttle ยท 837 points ยท Posted at 15:07:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โLight thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.โ
Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
Good_Apollo_ ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:36:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice reference
M4NBEARP1G ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If light travels so fast, how come it's never caught a ninja?
Gonzobot ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 16:12:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if every country has ninjas, and Japan's are just the terrible ones that get caught constantly.
devictionne ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:32:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How high are you?
Gonzobot ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:31:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No officer, it's "Hi, how are you?"
devictionne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:15:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
meeturself ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
League of Legends?
elektroholunder ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:09:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โ Douglas Adams
NinjaAlf ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:02:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I can imagine Zoom saying this to The Flash
papereel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:01:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ
SpecificallyGeneral ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then there's rumour.
I wonder if we could extrapolate.
Wumer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that make Dark faster than Light, or just make Dark omnipresent? Light can get anywhere faster than Dark, but Dark is just simply everywhere.
Sdrawkcabgnihtemos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
-Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
Letty_Whiterock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"REAPER HERE"
TheNessLink ยท 330 points ยท Posted at 14:55:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this isn't regular darkness
this is
advanced darkness
hendrix67 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:45:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't thbhphbh understand thbphbh your accent thbphbhph
Hates_escalators ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's just standing there.....menacingly
AcidicOpulence ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:56:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much darker than that can we get? None, none moor dark.
Skidmark666 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello darkness, my old friend.
Bigby11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kind of darkness you can't lock up.
engineeredengine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She certainly seems very dim witted
DiamondHammer ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:13:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, reminds me of this Vsauce video.
officialxian ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:43:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
+1 for Vsauce! I was gonna link the same video but you beat me to it.
TubeSteak424242 ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 15:35:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well vsauce is an idiot, so maybe this IS a stupid question.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:44:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
starman28 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see how /u/TubeSteak424242 is an idiot because he used Michael's online pseudonym: 'Vsauce'. It's completely logical to call him Vsauce.
DerBoy_DerG ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's the retard now?
starman28 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless this unfunny joke is being stretched out, I don't see the idiocy, retardation or stupidity in calling 'im Vsauce. It makes more sense to call him that, rather than Michael.
Dispari_Scuro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:29:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
VSauce is the name of the show, not the guy. It's like calling Fry Futurama, and saying Futurama is a pizza boy.
starman28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:33 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but Michael is the ONLY PERSON in Vsauce. Fry is part of Futurama.
suspiciouslackofname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The intro follows the scheme "Vsauce, Michael here. [...]" There have been multiple Vsauce channels dedicated to different types of content for quite some time now, although I agree that calling Michael "Vsauce" isn't retarded, stupid or idiotic, I believe it is impractical and incorrect. Vsauce is, by now, the name of a group of channels, rather than an individual. The actual word seems to have come from a "Fake Website Generator".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vsauce
starman28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:16 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But, Michael is more popular than the other two, and if I said "Vsauce," they would be thinking of Vsauce 97% of the time.
Exactly!
Why? Michael is the main character of Vsauce, even if you include all 3 channels. Saying /u/TubeSteak424242 is an idiot because he used Vsauce. Michaels makes equal sense, but not more sense.
Avalire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prove it
RichToffee ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:18:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a stupid question. In some ways.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True. But given this persons propensity for disrupting class with stupid questions about topics covered minutes earlier...and her love of doing her makeup in the back...I doubt she had existential abstractions in mind when she asked the question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calculus based college physics class.
RichToffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:51 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see
PeanutButterSoldier ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:30:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Vsauce. Michael here.
graaahh ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:22:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm tempted to say the speed of dark's the same as the speed of light, because it's the speed of light leaving. But I could also interpret that as "what's the speed of light being absorbed by the materials it hits" (aka the reason a room doesn't stay lit after you turn off a light bulb) which, while incredibly fast, is probably a little slower than the speed of light and dependent on the materials.
cloud_tsukamo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:20:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, VSauce did a video on that very topic.
Drunken_Dolphin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:03:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
faster than the speed of light (source: vsauce)
probablyhrenrai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whole "light's speed is absolute" think always confuses me when I think about it.
If two moving observers record the velocity of the same photon, their observations will be mutually exclusive, yet both will be correct. Light's speed is completely separate from literally anything and everything, and that always seemed to have loads of screwy implications to me.
I realize that light's speed is absolute, to be clear, but I can't properly wrap my brain around how that doesn't break physics.
cupsarecool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does break physics :-). No one has properly wrapped their brain around this. Quantum mechanics accounts for 3 of the four fundamental forces; it doesn't include gravity. Relativity describes gravity. The current motivation for theoretical physicists is to overcome the differences between quantum mechanics and relativity to create a unified theory.
supremecrafters ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't quote Vsauce. Vsauce is the lowest form of pop science, designed to be so easily digestible that, by the time you get down to it, there's absolutely nothing useful gained out of watching it. The issue is that Michael's videos cover such a broad variety of (sometimes related) topics in a relatively short time, which is really a terrible way to digest information.
However, I can give Michael some credit because he does source his videos in the description, and most of the time they're reputable sources. Try to quote them instead.
Drunken_Dolphin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok. I did watch the video like 2 years ago though so I just remembered the answer and didn't know about the sourcing of his sources until know.
supremecrafters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for going off on you like that.
ElderlyPowerUser ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:22:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I now want a reverse light bulb that emits dark.
Some one get on inventing a dark particle. Maybe start with photons and make them hate themselves.
Rampaigeee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are ramblings online about things like that called dark suckers
starman28 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You, how, how can you be so wrongly smart? Hate themselves is the funniest thing that makes no sense.
truthinlies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Usain bolt's top speed
lovesbooksandmovies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:41:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and you'd reply that it is a great book.
2flyguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:41:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a good intuitive question. Darkness is the absence of light. So naturally the speed of darkness is the same as the speed of light.
TrikKastral ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suddenly inspired to write the next great sci-fi novel.
Docjaded ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10, obviously.
SJHillman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-186,300 mi/s
mowmow924 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About 3/5ths
Alpha_Lantern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you should have told her you are not the teacher of the dark arts
MrSydFloyd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:24:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it is a clever question to ask :)
Vsauce made a video about it !
TubeSteak424242 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and this is a stupid question because? to someone who understands the speed of light it is immediately obvious that these are two separate questions completely and this is a great teaching opportunity to illuminate the concept.
ThePu55yDestr0yr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I guess that kind of makes sense (with little understanding of physics) if you assume darkness comes from particles or something.
Byzantine_Bill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my science teacher this, guessed it was the same as the speed of light then got sighed at
ash-aku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any of us that watched The Neverending Story 2 know that the speed of darkness is faster than the speed of light.
ElderCunningham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this classic Garfield comic.
MegaNerd42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In her defense, this is far from the dumbest question here.
DoomBringerDANTE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If light is so fast, how come it has never caught a ninja?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.iflscience.com/physics/what-speed-dark/
Not the STUPIDEST question, seems that shadow has some interesting properties as well.
otbdanne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vsauce actually answered this.
llittleserie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
BeerManBran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is printed on hot sauce packets at Taco Bell.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a documentary about American guitarist Angel Vivaldi.
Iammisterleviathan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, VSauce can answer that.
And it's kind of interesting. I'll edit this with a link in a moment.
eccentrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actually this is a valid question since the space (you know, the thing light actually need to pass through) is expanding faster than light, we can observe up to 13,xx billion of lightyears because that's only how long the light can go from the moment the universe began, but the universe itself is larger than just 13,xx billion ly in width, it's more like 90.
PM_dickntits_plzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must...not...leak...r/flashTV....ARGHGHDJHG YOU CAN'T LOCK UP THE DARKNESS
Taniwha_NZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, duh.. it's -186,000 mph. Obviously.
SavedKriss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/JTvcpdfGUtQ
bananasta32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, you can't lock up the darkness.
Tsorovar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That question is among those banned on r/shittyaskscience
BScatterplot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should send her this https://astro.uni-bonn.de/~dfischer/dark_sucker_2.html
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
VSAUCE MICHAEL HERE
RnRaintnoisepolution ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a very interesting and valid question.
Vsauce did a video on that exact question.
throat_acne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vsauce may have covered this
Jakes9070 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legit question!
PM_Me_Ur_Lady_Butts ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:34:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my little brother once asked me "What would happen if Friday the 13th is on a Thursday or Saturday?"
That question broke my brain for a second.
rockingme ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:37:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spend the day talking about Japanese attack and America's entrance into WWII.
Student 1: "Wait...is Pearl Harbor still alive?" Raucous laughter until-- Student 2 (through laughter): "Of course she's dead!"
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:48:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a classmate of mine. We were covering the history of the Protestant Church and were discussing Martin Luther. Student is wildly offended when teacher says he was a white German. Freaks out, screams about racism and historical revision. Mom comes to the school and is screaming and yelling. It took the principal, on the phone with a black religious scholar, to get them to shut-up. Came in next day like nothing happened.
DarkishFriend ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:00:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did your teacher not explain that there are more than one person in the world named Martin Luther or was the person who was mad just not hearing anything the teacher said?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:02:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither my classmate nor her mom would listen to reason. There was 1 Martin Luther. Period.
TokyoJokeyo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:01:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does the principal have black theologians on call for this sort of situation?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We went to a Christian high school, and this wasn't the first time we had spoken of this subject. The theologian taught early Church history at our school.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:32:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WE WUZZZ REFORMATION LEADERS N SHIIIIIEEEEETTTTT
sweetvibrationz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:52:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow
hairyligule21 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 20:13:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was in a Sex Ed class in elementary school..5th grade. In the female class, the teacher started off by asking some review questions from last class. She asked the class, "what is it called when women go through their monthly period?" Clearly she was looking for menstruation, but a little blonde haired girl raised her hand and answered "hypotenuse". To this day, I still laugh about that! So hilarious.
Robinmcb ยท 995 points ยท Posted at 13:24:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher's Assistant for a geography class (kinda doesn't count, but whatever).
I had been the TA for this class for 3 semesters and the professor had decided to retire. New professor comes in and tries to make this class as not-boring that it could possibly be (in her defense, she did teach the class with enthusiasm).
Anyway, the second project for the class was a short presentation about different resources of the world, renewable energy, non-renewable, etc.
I tell 90+ students and email every single one of them, to email me their presentation when they were done and I'll put them on a list for the order of presentations. I get a good 60-75 presentations.
The week of presentations, I sent out an email with the list and get a good 10 or so emails back asking why they weren't on the list. I calmly explain to them the aforementioned instructions and send out a new list.
After the first day, 5 more students ask me the same question. A bit irritated, I explain to them as well and announce it to the class once more.
The list gets so long and the students lack of preparation continue, presentations get extended to two more weeks. And in those two weeks, the stragglers email me.
At this point, I've lost my hope in humanity and I just get more and more irritated. I had done everything to ensure that every one of those students knew what to do for presentations, even if they were out sick, they still had an email that they needed to check in case an announcement was made.
It stuck with me for the rest of the semester and I found out from my professor that some students complained about me as being the worst and rudest TA they ever had.
TL;DR: I LEARNED NO ONE LISTENS TO YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO THE HARD WAY AND DIDN'T REACT PROPERLY TO IT
Ulgarth132 ยท 571 points ยท Posted at 13:53:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly in that kind of situation the best thing you could have done for those kids is the ones who were late did not get to present. I can promise you a boss in the future wouldn't be holding their hand the same way you did. It's better to learn that lesson in school than after getting fired from the job that supports you.
Dicios ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:06:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I currently work in a place I have people under me. Very simple stuff gets forgotten that they have to do monthly.
So I can totally relate to these words about not holding hands.
The problem is now as they are adults it sort of is my problem to teach them about responsibility as adults. Literally I feel like I am talking to school children as they usually reply with "Uhuhh...Yeah...I know...yeah...uhuh...sure" and next month it's all over again.
Some people manage to abide it and then some other people don't in the next month so its like a vicious circle of getting through to some people and then someone else starts forgetting again.
AberrantRambler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make them get a calendar for the year and write on it and cross of days. It's now one of their job responsibilities.
Z0idberg_MD ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:11:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a boss. If my employee missed something and asked, "why is my pilot not on the list", I wouldn't try to make a point, I would say "email it to me".
If they do it every single time, then you would be on corrective action. but don't be an ass and not answer the question directly.
learnyouahaskell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some e-mail servers do truncate long messages, but I don't know.
Ynglinge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This! I moved to a different country with a school system that seems pretty forgiving (you only need to pass to go to uni). And even if my uni is really good, some of the students just can't grasp what a deadline means and keeps messing up. There's also a lot of focus on going to uni right after high school so that might contribute a bit.
aussie-vault-girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep that's what I have done.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't my decision. My professor had them present anyway
Sdavis2911 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
ShloreyBoyz804 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:31:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
False lol. The real world is just like school extensions are given more than in school in my experience. You forget to do something? well we didn't really need it for another 4 weeks so turn it in at the end of this one instead of today. Now employers do get testy if this keeps happening and write-ups are possible but you wont get fired because of one late assignment. Especially if it deals with other people that have to do things in order for you to be able to complete a task (like send in your invoice, come in with id, fill out forms the correct way.)
BrotherChe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't take this personally
http://i.imgur.com/fB3PMal.gifv
ShloreyBoyz804 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I work at one of the biggest corporations in the US and I went to a private US institution so experiences may vary. Extensions are quite common lol. My supervisor is getting an extension on coming back from vacation as we speak so suck it Tribek. Don't be jealous lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q56AFof6qFE
BrotherChe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh, I'm not saying it's not commonplace. I'm just saying I don't agree with the culture. I just feel at a loss with my work ethic when surrounded by that. It's not so much jealousy as disgust at when it gets really bad and inefficient. Worked hard lower end jobs, see so many other people work hard, only to see upper end or cushy jobs making lots more and not getting much done.
ShloreyBoyz804 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you base your work ethic on your coworkers work ethic you've already lost. But I get you its annoying lol but dealing with the original comment the real world will coddle you and hold your hand sometimes and sometimes it won't but general statements like that are harmful and a lie.
BrotherChe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh i don't base my work ethic on theirs. But it doesn't make me less frustrated to witness and have to deal with the lack of progress that effects me.
I don't think the argument to the parent comment is that the real world will coddle you. They were saying that the real world has repercussions and the TA should have been putting down the hammer and letting them learn the effects, something they should be learning in school hopefully before getting to the real workforce. Although, your response sounds more like "nah, let it slide, it's all good, no one cares". Which to me is a more detrimental outlook within a workspace and unfortunately reality too often.
[deleted] ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 15:45:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ericnj ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:54:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he's a TA so I'm assuming it's college. You don't have to worry about child psychology when they're adults.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:20:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
swiftlyslowfast ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:32:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so if you are not supposed to downgrade them for being late what do they teach to do? Let them be late with no punishment, like one grade lower each day/week late or whatever?
Skidrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a little complicated.
Within the reformed Ontario (a province in Canada) within elementary and high-school students are allowed to hand in assignments as late as they want in the semester even if its passed the due date. As a teacher you either have to:
Grade them without academic penalty
If you choose option 1, the students "incomplete's" that they have for an assignment have to be changed to whatever grade is fair for their work based on the rubric you originally provided (this makes it so teachers cant purposely just mark lower to skirt the system). Where the penalty comes into play, isn't in accordance with their academic grades, but instead taken from their skills (these are not marked A+-F). Wherein on their report card students would receive an "N" for Needs improvement.
Option two involves a heck of alot of paperwork, and multiple meetings with various officials in order to explain each and every single mark you have ever given that student throughout the year, in order to determine if its justifiable.
Of course, the vast majority of students are unaware of this little "loophole" and will hand in their work on time, or ASAP.
swiftlyslowfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that found to be effective? I know in america that they only have the one academic grade most places so there is no behavior grade and it is taken from the academic grade if it is late.
I find it hard to believe that allowing lates without penalty is effective in teaching for when people get to college. My niece went to a charter school and was always given leeway to turn in assignments late, similar to how you stated it is in Canada, so she learned nothing about responsibility with timelines. She tried the same thing in college and failed out because she thought she could pull the same crap. It almost seems unfair to have them learn that lesson in college where it really matters instead of highschool.
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:18:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This dude is in college. No one gives a fuck about child psychology.
stripes361 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went through a top 10 rated teacher's program in my country and I agree with his analysis.
Sdavis2911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which one? There's a lot of them in this thread.
stripes361 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:11:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
United States
Sdavis2911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I meant which analysis. Sorry for the confusion.
stripes361 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ulgarth132's analysis.
Skidrock ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:53:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see, well I am also in a top 10 rated program. The curriculum you're studies are based off obviously promote a different value set within its hidden curriculum.
stripes361 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:56:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did the curriculum your studies are based off teach grammar?
WhiskeyCup ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:18:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher, I'd say announcing in class and sending two emails was enough. Still didn't send it in? Failed the assignment. Means you got less work and they (hopefully) will have learned the value of time management and following instructions.
gibsonje ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:38:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA for a programming class. I had to grade the programs.
There was a rubric with boxes with specific things to check that were worth points.
Every. Single. Week. The same people would fail and be baffled why.
I started reminding people that the rubric is the same each week and to take last week's and run it over their assignment.
Nope. They hated me. I helped a kid out one day and he was really happy, then said something along the lines "But I hate you because you make me fail."
facepalm
bigfruitbasket ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:06:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Partially because high schools do a shitty job of preparing students. Also, some students should go to community college first, before attending a four-year university. And finally, some students are just that dumb.
aezart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least you follow your rubric. I took a programming class last semester where they would override the rubric and deduct points for random things.
waterloograd ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:17:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You go so easy on them. In most of my classes if the students are even a minute late they get a zero, especially for a digital submission. If it's a physical submission I tell them I shouldn't accept it but will anyways because it's only a couple minutes late. That makes them love me.
I also had a similar issue to them not listening. I Ta geography also, and this past term I taught the labs for a first year cartography course. The first labs all said that when making any map you need certain features like a north arrow, legend etc. to get full marks. On the rest of the assignments we didn't say that, and just told them to make a map of their results. It was crazy how many students didn't include any of the required features. When they asked me why I took marks off for it they complained that we didn't specifically tell them to for this assignment. I told too many student multiple times and they still didn't get it. Same with unzipping data. I had to teach the same students every week how to unzip the data they are given.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the first project they had to do. Thankfully, they listened to those lectures
CondorLizard ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:12:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a college instructor and the number of reminders I have to give to get people to actually do things is just astounding.
jaypizzl ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a software consultant. I get hired for a minimum of us$5,000, usually a lot more. I am similarly amazed at how difficult it is to get customers to provide honestly very simple information which often requires literally just seconds or minutes of effort on their part. They are presumably motivated, and I'm not even asking for anything remotely as difficult as a homework assignment. It's just incredible to me - I can't tell if the problem is illiteracy, poor memory/drug use, lack of motivation, or what. I'll have to request things literally ten times in writing and verbally. I try different phrasing, different modes of communication, different times of day... no luck. They don't sound illiterate on the phone, but then when it comes to doing anything, they are helpless. This condition seems to afflict maybe 20% of IT professionals.
ash-aku ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:35:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Props for hanging in there. I got to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore and quit.
housewifeonfridays ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:40:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happens if you stop reminding them and just get tough about giving out zeros?
CondorLizard ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:49:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They hate me and write mean things on Rate myprofessor.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Favorite response to most questions was, "It's in the syllabus"
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:07:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
catsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are many, many reasons why people might struggle with that. Things in their private life, shitty situations, mental struggles. And there are even more reasons people that are ashamed of their struggles or feel like they shouldn't struggle make up to pass the blame. Which is shitty, but doesn't erase the real reasons.
timesuck897 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:26:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How dare you make them do work with a given deadline? This is college, it is for drinking not learning.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:01:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, why weren't they on the list?
RexRedstone ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:21:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I hate the TA in that class he's probably just doing it out of spite.
BroChick21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great class but I think I saw a tentacle hanging from his desk drawer one day...
abigscaryhobo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:24:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I applaud you for trying your best to help them, the other comments here are right. Sometimes you just need to let them fall on their face before they get it. The assignment is due next week. oh you forgot? one extra day. oh you forgot again? Not my problem, you knew when it was due.
SpecificallyGeneral ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:09:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you have a healthy career in finance/IT/medicine/education/auto-repair.
rawr_777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had some instructions on an assignment I thought students would ignore, so I put that one line in bold, uppercase, and larger font size. I had a student do the bad thing, lose marks, and then complain that I didn't say they couldn't do that. I just pointed to the GIANT BOLD TEXT. He looked at me, and walked out of my office.
karaeb93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at my uni at the largest department on campus. Can confirm that no one ever listens or reads their f*cking email.
QWERTY36 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never work IT.
Your TLDR is every day in that line of work.
jaypizzl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:16:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT people are often functionally illiterate, in my experience.
DaMachinator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure you don't work in tech support?
pdieten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes the only way to get people to notice instructions is to print them out and staple them to their foreheads.
J5892 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, most of them probably knew what they were supposed to do, but just didn't start until after it was due.
Source: I was a terrible student.
KikoSoujirou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda sounds like you got played. Keep telling the TA you didn't know/weren't informed, get the deadline extended
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than likely, but it wasn't my position to make assumptions like that. That went to the prof
philmtl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So true, build a template lable everything with instructions, accompanying email just in case. The moment they get it they call you to walk them through it instead of just trying to follow the instructions.
Merishone123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fell asleep.
aussie-vault-girl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Extended? Oh hell no.
monzzter221 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If your grammar in class was anything like your tl;dr I wouldn't listen to you either.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ
Drougen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:19:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After the first bout of people asking I would have just set aside 10 minutes and went to every single student and said "X you have to email me your project, understood?"
Robinmcb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I announced it again in class after those students came to me
darktask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why - it's up to them to remember to send the email after the first round of instructions. It's college - they're not going to be spoon-fed.
Drougen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because teachers are teaching to teach, not to be a resentful towards students and act like "I TOLD you what you had to do! It's YOUR fault! You should fail at life and your money should go to waste!"
Their job is to teach people and help them learn. Understood that It's not your job to baby every single person, but when you have 10+ people saying they don't know what's going on they should stop and take a second to try and help them / clarify.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Drougen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you're a teacher and got offended or something? Sorry, edited for you so It's easier to understand.
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's annoying to know that you'd probably remembered better if you outright wrote WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN!!! in the subject line and in the mails.
somekindofhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I got 60-75 responses the first time emailing 90 people (all adults) for something at work, I would probably fall over dead from astonishment. I'd expect about 10, maybe 15.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it was surprising, but just the stragglers really got me irritated cause I had to re-submit more and more schedules
stoopidjonny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What college has a geography class?
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine a lot with a geography minor/major
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just fail them.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not my call to make. Prof wanted them to email it
Exodus111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehm... Honestly if the users arent figuring out your system, change the system don't blame the users.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean telling everyone in class, emailing them, making announcements on the class forum which, again, emails them the reminder wasn't enough? I mean, I get changing the system and we did, but all those notifications wouldn't do?
Exodus111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously not. I guess not everyone checks their E-mails.
Mechanicalme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to scare you, but this happens everyday in Corporate America.
You might think that by simply emailing a co-worker to do their job, they will do it...
It doesn't always happen that way.
People space out during meetings (or they're multi-tasking during meetings), they delete all emails from certain people without reading them, they don't read every email, they "lose" your request, they're too busy, they expect someone else to do it, etc.
I've lost count of the number of times I've said (to myself) This is your job, this is literally all you do. Why is this so hard to get you to respond?
Robinmcb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it was a shame, really. I tried really hard to not get them to fail and giving them every opportunity to know what was going on
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this high school? Teens tend to have memory issues due to hormones and growing and stuff.
Not that you shouldn't hate them of course. Teenagers suck.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, full on college students, my friend
Yawehg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pick one.
Robinmcb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were supposed to 3-5 min max
Granted we made it group presentations the next few sems, but this was the trial run
Yawehg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my head I'm imagining 4.5 hours of undergrads repeating the same 8 facts about world resources.
Robinmcb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:36:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...it wasn't too great
Edit: thankfully, the prof put them in groups and allowed different waits to present other than a PowerPoint
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The students who don't follow instructions get a zero, and then you move on.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't my call to give. The professor kept extending it
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People don't check their email. You have to say it in class.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At that point, you should just ask for the students' cell phone numbers so you can text them. They'll check a text message.
Robinmcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't allowed to do that, but they could send me one
DotComCTO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. TL;DR. What did you say?
CzarIvan7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He sent out emails asking for presentations so he could put them on a list of presenters. Many people never email him and then get mad about being reminded over and over to email him the presentations and complain to the professor.
DotComCTO ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woosh...
that_blind_panda ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, but what was your story?
themightymuppet ยท 179 points ยท Posted at 14:27:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Chemistry, we were counting the atoms in a few different compounds. Professor picks the student not paying attention to count them out for the class. So, when the professor said to that student "okay SJ, count for us" (meaning, just tell me how many atoms are in each compound)
SJ then starts slowly counting up from 1 until he's asked to stop "uh, 1... 2...3...4.." He got to about 12 before we realized he was just counting.
(Not a question and didn't even happen to me but it's a moment I have never forgotten!)
GaimanitePkat ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:46:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many more people have to get hurt? 1? 2? 3? No, let me finish. 4? 5?
r/dundermifflin
aussiegolfer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just so MAD that Pam got HURT!
Kicks volleyball
officialxian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I never finished Chemistry as I was expelled from school and somehow managed to graduate without a chemistry credit, how does one count the atoms in a compound?
nmook102 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:07:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If ur looking at a water molecule there's 3 atoms(2 H and 1 O)
Turner117 ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 15:32:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were discussing the plight of African-Americans during Reconstruction.... "If black people had such a bad time in America, why did they immigrate here?" I immediately saw the black kid behind her sit up and silently mouth, "what the fuck?!?"
Sadly this was in a high school honors course. I will say in the girls defense she immediately knew how idiotic that question was and turned bright red. Cringe-worthy moment for all.
bmmbooshoot ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:41:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's painful to read, and worse to imagine.
red11pip ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:47:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. When I was 11 we had to learn about sex in science and we were learning about IFV and one boy asked how a man ejaculated and asked if a man just had to say "go sperm go".
GaimanitePkat ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:17:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GO GO SPERMY RANGERS
Furt77 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:44:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go go Gadget sperm!
IKnowPiToTwoDigits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it looks a little something like this.
stringent_strider ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:32:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but...
Teacher : (hands out assignment, about 1hr still left for class to get over) Student : Do we have to do the assignment now? Teacher : No, wipe your ass with it.
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Block class?
stringent_strider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Math
iamjason10 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:38:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in eighth grade my friend asked our Spanish teacher how to say taco in Spanish
ModernVVelfare3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:10:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well? How do you say it? These are important questions
pablossjui ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:42:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
with a Sombrero
gabeiscool2002 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well what's sombrero in Spanish?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
El hato
pro_beau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:57 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simpsons did it first
SirSnipesAlots ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:43:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was 7 years old just finished exams and my teacher calls me hands me 2 papers of math and asks which one is yours. I checked the name, both had my name on top so after focusing on hand writing for good 5 mins i told her that one is mine.
Turns out the kid behind was copying my paper word to word and even cheated my name off my paper..
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:13:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a history class that was learning about the invasion of the Huns and the fall of Rome. During silent reading a student raised their hand and called me over. He asked me, "Were these like, half horse people?" I was really confused and asked why he thought that. "It says here they were skilled horsemen." I told him that just meant they were good at riding horses and not centaurs.
Nurum ยท 190 points ยท Posted at 14:56:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I have a professor that tells us to ask anything because there are no stupid questions I immediately raise my hand and ask "why do meteorites always land in craters?"
Senor_Taco29 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:40:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the idea
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:11:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lfantine ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do bald people get cancer so much?
Furt77 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:22:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are kids so attracted to pedophiles?
User4780 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they are trying to fill in the hole that they saw from space, gotta keep everything flat. The problem is that there is nobody around with a giant rake to smooth it out afterwards.
NemesisMortalShare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, thank you for the ab workout.
TychaBrahe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very good question. I mean the deer don't cross at the deer crossing sign, and deer are animate life forms. A meteor is not sentient.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:35:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God's target practice, m8
emailblair ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 13:12:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a teacher in an urban district with a high immigrant population. I have been asked why people don't fall off the bottom of the Earth, if anyone lives on Mars, if Jewish people really are aliens, etc.
Neither the questions nor students were truly stupid - many students had simply been raised in areas with little or no formal education, or by parents who themselves were incredibly negligent, superstitious and/or uninformed.
hellafyno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mind if I ask what part of the world?
emailblair ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:50:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
East Coast of the U.S.
hellafyno ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Baltimore, please tell me it's not in Baltimore.
TangleF23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably [city we both hate]
...Camden?
MIAMI
amightymapleleaf ยท 1179 points ยท Posted at 12:42:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I have to share:
The scene: 11th grade Biology class at a preppy private school (no religious affiliation, but we were in the middle of the hyper Jewish area of the city).
My teacher was talking about genetic traits passed on through X or Y chromosomes.
The big dude in the back has a question.
"Let's say that women could reproduce on their own. If there was an island of these women, would they eventually grow penises and testicles from doing all of the hunting, fishing, fighting, etc?"
This teacher and I were close so she looked at me and I just snorted and gave her a "good luck" look. Bless her.
rocketman0739 ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 15:07:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the reply to that one is, "If they can reproduce on their own, what do they need penises and testicles for?"
puncakes ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 15:42:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was asking if dicks and balls come from hunting and doing manly things instead of reproducing.
Kongo204 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:23:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being manly, apparently.
SarahC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To stab the fish with!
Exist50 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:11:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual reproduction is better for genetic diversity than asexual. It actually does happen in nature.
rocketman0739 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:42:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and if the kid can come up with that answer, he's doing a lot better than expected.
ForePony ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:34:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be dicks. If they didn't have that, the would just be an island full of pussies and assholes.
Cause pussies can't fuck assholes, Chuck.
malonkey1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:27 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To fuck enemies to death, of course.
Flamammable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sexy times
rocketman0739 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:43:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you may find those aren't universally required for that.
TYLERvsBEER ยท 324 points ยท Posted at 14:56:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The answer is so blatantly yes that it blows my mind how he wouldn't know this.
Pokerhobo ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:16:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Life, uh, find a way
bitcleargas ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:22:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The answer is obviously no.
You also need to burp and fart to grow a penis. Fucking amateurs.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:25:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus you people are oblivious.
You only have to burp and fart to grow a penis. The other stuff isn't necessary.
LukaCola ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:34:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, gender roles at their finest, truly. So ingrained that they literally cannot imagine a world where women take on the traditional roles of men, so those women have to become biologically men.
chagheill ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:00:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From looking at your username... this is Thornhill in Toronto isn't it
TakeOffYourMask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They didn't answer, so yes
GaimanitePkat ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:39:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes they would. That's why baby boys must be taken on long fishing and hunting trips, and must successfully K.O. the midwife, before they grow a penis and testicles.
RidleyOReilly ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 14:40:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thatsmyfetish.jpg
SomeMetroid ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:50:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
justaddbooze ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 14:50:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Finally growing a pair?
xXWeThePeopleXx ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:58:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AYYYYYY
LeftyDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey a shark just did it. (Sorta)
underthehedgewego ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:35:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't really as stupid as it sounds at first. It is a common misunderstanding of evolutionary mechanisms that was once a reasonable scientific consideration. Do animals evolve traits to satisfy a goal (e.g. do giraffes necks get longer because they need longer necks) or are the results of random mutations in offspring favored in relation to the environment (e.g. do giraffes with longer necks do better and pass on the desirable trait [the correct answer]). His question is a extreme example of this misunderstanding.
BrotherChe ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:38:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could be a different misunderstanding than that, perhaps even just not following through the full reasoning.
Some species will change gender due to lack of sufficient opposite gender or due to dominance factors in a coupling. With that in mind, let's say that male embryos are failing to survive, etc., in some species perhaps there is then an evolutionary adjustment made to the female genetics where some otherwise male traits are now being developed, fulfilling some physiological need in the species.
Another thought process could be the concept of how hormonal increases can occur in females or males as they take on the tasks normally performed by the opposite sex, such as child-rearing, or the examples that he presented. Increases in hormonal shifts can result in such "drastic" changes as the start of lactation in males, to increased clitoral sizes and reduced breasts in females.
thedoodely ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:06:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are the hormonal increases independent of the individual's perception of the gender roles? Like do they happen because a male is perceiving himself to be assuming a female role (or vice versa) or because the activity itself somehow triggers the hormones? Serious question.
BrotherChe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From what I've read, yes there is often a psychological component to such physiological changes. However, perception isn't necessarily a required factor.
disclaimer: IANA life scientist. But I do read a bit of expert posts.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no connection between hunting and having a penis.
I_HAVE_A_PET_CAT_AMA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:30:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Life, uh, finds a way?
timesuck897 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:44:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was planning on going fishing and camping in the spring, but not now!
intensely_human ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude was probably making connections between things he had heard:
Given the erroneous first fact in the list, he came to believe that literal maleness is necessary to produce behaviors like hunting and fighting.
kingfez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:37:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Life, uh, finds a way.
AshRiver136 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Women can reproduce on their own. It is called parthonogenesis.
Dicios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if they found a batch of male hormones among all that hunting and fishing, their female parts would grow an inch or so and they would get certain male characteristics but unless someone of the original bunch was born with the ability to produce sperm they are shit out of luck.
Or they could find a bunch of frozen sperm and somehow manage to inseminate themselves. Over time who knows what genetical abromalities would come out of it, maybe a "female with sperm" but until that time, you should have to kill all the male children.
monkeyjungletoronto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't this this is a stupid question at all! This would have been a great opportunity for the teacher to explain about species that produce asexually as females, until environmental factors trigger genetic expression that enables males to be born, such as Daphnia magna.
kyuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if they have frog DNA.
Seraphim_kid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm the case of the female hyena they have so much testosterone in their systems they do In fact have pseudo penises
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but it's not because the are doing "masculine " things
Koboldsftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely a dumb question but made me realize that if could reproduce on their own a quarter of their offspring would be women
Bgwd052792 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume you were the smartest in the class....
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the most outwardly snarky.
Bgwd052792 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No further explanation needed. Use of that word is enough proof.
Lobbylounger212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you say you "snorted", does that mean you made a pig noise at her?
I remember J.K. Rowling always used that word in the HP series and it always sounded so absurd to me. Like why in the world was everyone just ok with Harry constantly making these pig noises?
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk what the noise is. Mix a snort and ironic laughter maybe? Idk
thecorrectanswerisme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm halfway down this post and I'm convinced that either: a) no teachers are on reddit; or b) teachers are too nice and only non-teachers are judgmental. Source: I'm not a teacher, but....
tastar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how is that relevant in any way?
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry- it made sense to me because he normally spewed creationist stuff
tastar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
got it. just threw me off a bit.
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like somebody just learned about futa.
ThreeLZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what does that have to do with being in the jewish part of town?
Dicios ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP probably meant that "People are ignorant about reproduction" as religious town parts are usually more conservative with information, so kids are stupider in that category.
chefranden ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:37:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I understand we all start out as girls.
ZDTreefur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We don't, we start out as a neutral body that can go both ways.
spartacus_1138 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 14:54:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science teacher here.
A student asked, "Is the Earth round like a ball or round like a plate?"
Varboa ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 17:46:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The earth is round!" Really does leave some ambiguity in there
welcome_to_the_creek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:42:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's round what? Just tell me what it's close to and I'll find it by myself.
Varboa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God dammit, lol okay for that you get an upvote
Baron-of-bad-news ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:34:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta teach the controversy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"people can't fall off the edge, the Earth is round!"
"Well, so is my kitchen table, but you can still knock off your cereal bowl"
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:01:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems legit.
Edit: In fact this is a great question unless you're teaching college-level science courses. One is a sphere and the other is a circle. Fuck you for posting this.
DominusMortis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oblate spheroid.
spartacus_1138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was high school science.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As good a time to learn as any.
stepheatsnothing ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:56:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: (giving directions for a practice ACT) Student: But, then who created god??
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 15:39:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pearson as far as you're concerned
I_AM_PLUNGER ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:34:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I spit out my water
trumpsadumbbitch ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:46:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man. Would be the answer to that question.
truthinlies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Satan, as a test to all humans
roadkill93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God created dinosaurs. God destroyed dinosaurs. God created Man. Man destroyed God. Man created dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.
kabooozie ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:22:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't a question, it was an answer. The question was, "What could you call a 100 sided polygon?" It was a gimme question that had a few acceptable answers like "centigon" or "100-gon."
A student wrote, "eight."
Just..."eight."
Not even "8," but a written-out "eight."
Furt77 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's my polygon and I can name him whatever I want.
allafaye98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teddison
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah his name is Larry
pro_beau ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:51 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about a polynigmion?
cheeseless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:46 on February 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good Grumps reference.
kabooozie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:10 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, sure.
Ghanrak ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:55:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not the teacher, but in AP World History, one of the students asked, "Did Lord of the Rings really happen?". She was later named our valedictorian.
thisishowiwrite ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:16:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It did happen. Literary.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not American and always kind of wondered what valedictorian means. It sounds terribly grand and important
Beat9 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:09:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The person who graduates with the best grades.
Ghanrak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typically, the student that held the highest GPA. If there are multiple students tied for the highest GPA, I assume the select the one that completed the most difficult courses, or had the most credits. In the case of this student, I honestly can't imagine it being either. At graduation, I was astonished to see her up there.
"a student, typically having the highest academic achievements of the class, who delivers the valedictory at a graduation ceremony."
hero-of-winds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It didn't mean jack shit. It's awarded to whoever graduates with the highest GPA ignoring difficulty of classes and anything else
Yagichan ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English as a second language. Late thirties, male, business man student comes in for a free trail lesson.
Immediately starts speaking in their native language "I am not interested in English. I will not speak English in class. I need a TOEIC test of 650 for work. Can you teach me how to get 650 on the TOEIC test ?"
Looked at student. Calmly stated, "You must speak English to pass the TOEIC test." Student got angry and left. Was never seen again.
Soakitincider ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:23:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Mississippi. I ha a guy ask if people in Texas count "1 Texas. 2 Texas. 3 Texas."
Furt77 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:55:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We do now!
jctheslp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:28 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a child...that's a pretty valid question.
Soakitincider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:32:32 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher. He isn't a child.
But yea you're right.
birdily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:57 on June 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mississippilessly?
somedude456 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 20:05:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked our tour guide in Berlin that question. He asked if anyone was from Australia. A few hands went up. He made them promise they wouldn't get offended. So a dude in his 20's from Australia went out this 3 hour tour of Berlin learning all about history. At the end he asked, "The one thing that's always bothered me and never answered is how did Hitler get here?" Guide: Well he was born in Austria, and moved at some point. Aussie: Yeah, but Australia is far away, like he had to have taken a boat right, planes weren't really an option for tourists then, right?"
tl;dr: Aussie didn't know Austria isn't short for Australia.
TangleF23 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:32:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see that.
Aw-straya, Awstreea.
RainonCooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:42 on February 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sad to admit, but I thought so too when I was younger.
OpalFae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, my god... as an Aussie with experience of our education system, this scares me. I can accept it from children, like u/RainonCooper. Not from a grown adult
Raiden1987 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:20:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but used to do go to high school classes as a member of GRIS, a NGO. This NGO was working with school to demystify the LGBT and we were going to present ourself to a class of student, always 2 (one gay and one lesbian) and the student were the one asking any question they wanted, base on their own level of comfort.
This particular time was with a group of 11th grader. One student ask why gay guys enjoy anal sex. I replied with the usual it's not everyone that enjoy it, however for those who do, it's due to sensation including stimulation of the prostate.
As I finish this sentence, a female student exclaimed/questioned: So it's because of my prostate that I enjoy anal sex so much?
I was flabbergasted while the whole class was laughing. The teacher in the room sighed and immediately took over, saying he would explain human biology to her later and asked us to move on to another question.
thefenixfamily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:22 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair (or expose my stupidity), I didn't know that girls don't have prostates when I was in 11th grade.
I also didn't know what they do either. I didn't assume anything about them though (like that they help your toenails grow, or something stupid like that), I just never asked anyone what the prostate did until about roughly 9 months ago.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:25:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 4th grade and a student did some great work and I made an off handed comment about how I love my job. Another student asked "what's your job?".
therealkimjong-un ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:30:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in a physics class once asked if all the Chinese people jumped at the same time, would the earth go into the sun? I laughed for a solid five minutes at the serious question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think (hope) this is just a reference to "Pay it Forward"
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:51:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach preschool so I could go on and on about dumb things (I.e pooping in the sink, hiding poop in weird places, eating weird stuff) but my favorite is this story.
During group time one day I couldn't help but notice one of my kids had a very strong poop odor. I pulled him aside and asked if he had had an accident. He proudly said no, and that he had made it just in time. I suggested he go wipe again to double check. About 5 minutes later he comes to me with his hands covered in shit. He said I didn't tell him what to wipe with so he just used his hands
americanmarks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:53:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a kid who's parents have no interest in properly raising him and he thinks he only needs to wipe the crack. He will be 10 this year and will go around smelling strongly of poop all day because his parents are lazy.
memnock79 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:56:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was holding study hall for 11th and 12th graders. From the back of the room a few students began arguing back and forth. When I asked what was going on one of the girls looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Is it true that you can still get pregnant from anal sex?"
I ultimately was forced to get an anatomy book and hold a mini health class.
westkms ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if Planned Parenthood had told her that she needs to wear a condom even if it's anal sex. Technically, you can get pregnant with no penetration. It's incredibly unlikely, but contact or (uh) seepage can make it theoretically possible.
Maybe that's how she could be so confused about her own anatomy?
memnock79 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish it were that logical or simple. However, the reason for the anatomy book was to prove that there was two separate tracks. Her argument was that the "wall" between tracks could break and someone could get pregnant. I told her that if that were to happen pregnancy would be the least of her problems.
westkms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shudder
Good on you for not just saying, "no," and telling them to get back to their homework.
itsbraille ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:48:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wife is a High School Biology teacher, a couple of years ago she got this question from a student:
"Why can't we breath fire like dragons?"
Kid gets curious stares from everybody in the classroom.
"Just messin', that's dumb, I mean dinosaurs, why can't we breath fire like dinosaurs?"
olhonestjim ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:34:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught a version of extreme creationism at home and in church that claimed the dinosaurs were the actual dragons of eastern and western myth, and that yes, they breathed fire. I went along with that bullshit for far too long.
heusnoorn ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:45:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question, but pretty funny anyway.
My mom is a teacher and this happend a while ago:
Student: How old is your son?
Teacher: He's 7
Student: You're lying! Last year you said he was 6!
The whole class was laughing and she felt proud because she thought they were laughing with the teacher.
BrainPulper2 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 14:47:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do I have to remember this?" In math class, while discussing supplementary angles.
My answer: "Only if you want to do well on the test."
Edit: I should point out that this is the most common stupid question. I feel that it is a stupid question because no shit you have to remember. This is school. The entire point is to learn.
BingRazer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I take a lot of advanced classes and about a fifth of what we learn we don't need for the test, it's just interesting information. Although, if it's supplementary angles then why would they even ask... it's so simple.
Kingsley__Zissou ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:33:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"This is probably a dumb question but... The cartridges in a printer, do they use squid ink for just the black or for all the colors?"
The assumption being that squid ink being used for black printer ink was a given.
Triton_330 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:56:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if squid ink would actually be a viable option for that...
moomoomeow2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:20:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe too much Minecraft?
vape_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck could that be from too much Minecraft?! Printers don't exist in Minecraft, the only way it could be from too much Minecraft is if a person starts looking at everyday items and asking themselves "how would this be made in Minecraft?" And then sitting down and actually logicing it out.
Stewbodies ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:55:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minecraft has squids, presumably they're how you get ink in that game. And if you don't know how ink is made, like me, there are worse guesses than that it comes from an animal known for making ink.
candlesandpretense ยท 269 points ยท Posted at 14:16:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. Sophomore year, World Religions class. We were discussing animism in African tribes. The professor, a Baptist minister, is telling us that in some tribes, the moon has special reverence because of its effects on the environment, the tides, and it's association with women's cycles.
This guy in the front row raises his hand. I knew him through mutual friends; he had grown up very sheltered. He was also very conservative, and worshipped Ronald Reagan. He asks the professor, "What is a women's cycle?"
The professor took a second to process what he'd been asked. Then his expression changed, and looked both stunned that anyone who'd managed to get this far in college would ask that, and furious that he would have to explain something so obvious.
"Menstrual cycle," he said. "You know. Her period."
The guy nods, writes it down, and class gets back on track. I told this story to everyone we both knew and nobody was surprised.
Astilaroth ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 15:12:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww look at him learning.
cleaver_username ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 17:12:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not embarrassed, just a nod and writing it down. :)
junkhacker ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 17:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
written on note: "look up what minstrel cycles are"
cleaver_username ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:01:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: Jim Crow laws are cyclical.
Trump makes so much more sense now, hehe
notorious_NAP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a great way to get around town.
GaimanitePkat ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:45:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair he could have just never heard it called "women's cycle" before.
bmmbooshoot ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:08:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair it's kind of funny that he couldn't...you know, extrapolate it a little and go "women...something that happens in a 'cycle', or 'periodically'...OH"
junkhacker ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:51:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, you know there are two kinds of people:
those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...
quantasmm ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:32:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
go on...
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, we already established he liked Reagan. Permission to flog this man is granted.
BlakBeret ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:12:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In his defense, I'm sure it was vague. Maybe the women in his life go through emotional cycles, cycles of psychotic breaks, or he heard "women's cycles" and started thinking about bicycling and was trying to figure out how it fit in.
TheMastersSkywalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you live with women for any period of time you are going to know what "the cycle" is.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:59:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took that class at my local community college. It drove me absolutely bonkers because so many students didn't understand that we were studying WORLD RELIGIONS and not worshipping them. The teacher would post an assignment about a particular religion and their whole response would be "well they worship trees, but Jesus Christ is the one true savior. Blah blah blah the power in the blood. Blah blah blah you'll go to hell if you worship Buddha." I hate living in the Bible Belt sometimes -_-
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The One True God, Ronald Reagan
Osumsumo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was he an ESL learner? Might not have heard this term used before.
candlesandpretense ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No - he grew up less than an hour away from the school we went to. I think he was homeschooled or went to a Christian school..
terpcloudsurfer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ronald Reagan didn't know what the cycle is either. I almost got the cycle once but I tripped going around second
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a sheltered conservative who worships Ronald Reagan, I'd like to publicly disown this guy. Disgrace to us all
Yawehg ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isnโt a stupid question, so much as a horrible teacher.
Iโm a tutor in Texas. About a year ago, back when Syrian refugees were more in the news, my 8-year-old student asked me if โwe were safe?โ I asked what she meant, and she told me that her teacher had said that โObama was letting all the terrorists come to Texas.โ Furthermore, there was a โ90% chanceโ of a terrorist attack in the next 6 months, and a โ50% chanceโ that they would strike right here, in in this shitty Houston suburb.
We scrapped the reading lesson for that day for a more important one.
EconDetective ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 90% chance that there will be a terrorist attack somewhere in the world in the next 6 months seems about right.
Yawehg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was talking 9/11 numbers
The_Kisho ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:41:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher, but there was a girl in my visual communication class that thought space was a myth. We were around 16 or 17.
droxius ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 15:51:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in third grade we had a very large earthquake during school. It was really quite serious, part of the highway crumbled and the power went out and there was pretty widespread panic. The shaking was surreal and we were all freaking out doing the whole under the desk thing. After it passed and we were all still sitting in little huddled messes, one genius breaks the silence with a question. "Was that a drill?"
thisishowiwrite ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:11:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a dwight schrute-level drill.
nanna_mouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:54:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Takes a pretty big drill to do that kind of damage...
[deleted] ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 15:02:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach history and religion. As I was driving with one of my students, I passed a Church that I briefly attended my Freshman Year of college. Pointing it out, I mentioned that they were a Fundamentalist Protestant Church (I'm by no means a Fundamentalist Protestant, I promise) and I asked her if she knew the history of that Church.
I shit you not, her literal and immediate response was:
"Yeah. Aren't they the ones who followed Martin Luther King Jr. when he broke off from the Anglican Church but kept everything almost exactly the same?"
Yeah, she somehow blended three separate religious reformations from three very different periods of time, confused which churches were a part of those reformations, and somehow threw the American civil rights movement in there.
It was pretty bad.
toomanyattempts ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:51:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well Martin Luther King and Martin Luther do sound kinda similar for the historically ill-informed.
markymarksjewfro ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:58:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, they sound similar because Martin Luther King was named after Martin Luther.
toomanyattempts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, but still. As an aside I know a marky mark who's totally have a fro if he grew it out
markymarksjewfro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where's he from?
toomanyattempts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shropshire, England. I doubt there's any relation aha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shropshire? How wonderful!
Pawprintjj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just leaving this here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Autocorrect, man. She's not a nice lady.
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, that's right. Say, have I ever mentioned that my semen has magical properties?"
chicken__steak ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:55:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some kid asked my 10th grade history teacher how they train the gorrilas for guerrilla warfare.
gwarsh41 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way late to the party, this is all from when I taught almost 5 years ago and copied from a post I made back then.
I teach 3D modeling in a low income area, at a school that accepts everyone. I get a lot of... special kind of stupid/ignorance in my classroom. Here are some of the better, shorter, tales from my classroom...
On the first day of class I read the syllabus, and explain the college environment. I also cover the entire syllabus and classroom policies. 2 semesters ago reading the syllabus put a student into tears. Later while speaking to my boss about it, I was using "too big of words for her, and they made her scared". I later found out someone registered her for an advanced class with no experience. Double whammy on that one.
This semester, while covering the attendance policy I said, "This is college, it is up to you to be responsible. I will never call your parents and tell them you did not show up to class." Without missing a beat, 4 students left the classroom.
File corruption is an every day thing for me, as is dealing with purposely corrupt files.
Later my boss pulled me into his office with the student, where essentially the same conversation took place, and my boss gave the student a drop slip.
I feel like the students I teach, are the people you will all be assisting. Intro classes are the worst, problem solving and computer knowledge is practically in the negative for 90% of my students. Some fun one liners from students.
"What are these computers for? Shouldn't we be working on like, an Xbox or something?"
"I lost my thumb drive so I need another week to work on the project."
"What do you mean I can't play League of Legends in class? I am taking a break from the assignment!!!"
"random student name just texted me that they wont be in class today. They said an EMP went off and the cars wont start"
"You should really lower your expectations Mr, because I am not going to do any of the homework."
Lastly, I feel I get to say something to my students that many of you want to say every day.
If these are out of place here, I won't do any more of them and will delete this one. Hope some of you enjoyed this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gwarsh41 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a piece of paper you fill out to drop out of a class. If you do it early enough you don't pay for the class. I don't know all the details on how the financial parts worked with it, Judy that there was a deadline.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:14:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jose-rancheros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man...I haven't laughed this hard in ages. Thanks you for this.
robot-space-pirate ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 14:24:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I had a girl in my physics class once ask the teacher, whether you can land on stars with a rocket.
Smgth ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:30:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only at night when they're off.
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well?
sacredblasphemies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:52:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but only once.
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
anywhere.
johnymyth123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well technically you can I guess. Probably wouldn't be a pleasant experience however
gabeiscool2002 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... you're ABLE to.
You'd just be very, very, very, very, very, very, very dead.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man, you need a landing module of some kind, not just a rocket
jassphree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can no one remember when North Korea achieved exactly that?
Edit: it was a fake report in January 2014 made by a website known for satire. It obviously didn't happen, but it's not too crazy to believe that North Korea wouldn't have claimed it. http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/01/21/north-korea-lands-first-ever-man-on-the-sun-confirms-central-news-agency/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Source?
Furt77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, we haven't actually tried it yet.
robot-space-pirate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair point....I guess
Maawz ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one of my friends seriously asked "is the queen the queen of the world" needless to say we still haven't let her live it down.
stanleyford ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:20:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not of the entire world, but a fact most people don't know is she is the queen of sixteen separate nations.
Alma_Encantada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just some of her subjects who seem to think that is still the case. Mind you, I expect that living in less enlightened times people would have heard stories about far flung corners of the world (colonies) they could visit by serving in the navy, so it is reasonable to assume that they thought she owned the whole world.
Still no excuse for that dick question in this day and age.
Chipping_Rain ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 14:40:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here, but a fellow 'academic colleague' once asked in an Economics lesson; "Why do people grow eggs? Nobody really buys them do they?"
Hates_escalators ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They grow on a plant, and if you don't pick them early enough, they get all long and purple. /s
toomanyattempts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sound business sense there
trukvlteroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well actually....
jabagaladams ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:04:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Priest was explaining how he was married to the church and a second grader pipes up with, "if you love the church so much than why don't you kiss it??" Not so much stupid as it was hilarious.
youcantgobackbob ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:36:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of when my older son was in kindergarten and was deeply concerned about my sister, who had been sad about being older and not married. He said, "Aunt X can become a nun so she can marry Jesus."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know you are, but what am I?
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:54:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was Jesus Canadian?" for a class project on great Canadians
PaulsRedditUsername ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our Father who art in Heaven,
Is this a good time?
If you're busy, I can come back later,
Never mind, it's really not important,
Sorry to bother you,
Amen
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:37:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop grovelling"
"sorry, Lord!"
"And stop apologizing!"
nanna_mouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:40:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's always "I'm sorry" this and "forgive me" that...
TheMastersSkywalker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he's American!!!
Waldopemersonjones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they mis-heard and thought is was a project on 'great canaanians'.
Plumberbumm ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:01:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the anonymous question box in a grade 7 health class
"why do girls pee out of their butts and guys pee from their penis?"
DetroitHustlesHarder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:03:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username.
Bathroom_Pninja ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:21:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many points is a 3-pointer worth?
Seriously.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7?
BloodySpies ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:44:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my highschool Chem class, my teacher was talking about the decay of metals and radioactivity, specifically uranium and plutonium. She also mentioned that the applications of these metals were in ammunition, reactors, and the atomic bomb. To which a student asked "isn't that the element that they used in the Holocaust bomb that the Nazis dropped on Japan to kill all the Jews?"
Edit: english on my new phone is hard.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this in Japan?
I don't know how this isn't at the top, my son and I can't stop laughing at this one. No, No, Yes, and No, the only sliver they got right was that the bomb was dropped in Japan.
Blugentoo2therevenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did your teacher just tell him he got all of that wrong?
jmverlin ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 13:52:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher" but I definitely remember the dumbest question I've ever heard in class.
11th grade, astronomy/geology class. Discussing expansion of the universe and how galaxies are moving, too.
Girl: "So can two galaxies collide?" Teacher: "Yes, absolutely, though because they're mostly space it doesn't usually tend to lead to any actual collisions." Girl: "If the Milky Way got hit, what would happen if a star came between the Earth and the Moon?" Teacher: "Well, that wouldn't happen, they would get sucked into it." Girl: "No, not if it HIT them. What if it just went between them?"
The concept of gravity (and the size of stars) was lost on this one.
Wick3dGeek ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:13:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most people don't understand gravity.
aGeordie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most physicists don't.
intensely_human ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:13:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The concept of gravity wasn't lost - she'd gotten bad information. The teacher had literally just said it doesn't lead to collisions.
The earth and moon getting sucked into a star would be collisions, and the absence of collisions was just given as a constraint in the model.
jmverlin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She meant that the chance of such a collision was incredibly low, even in the case of two galaxies colliding.
intensely_human ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:29:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well she was sloppy in communicating it, and fell back on imprecise language to avoid having to say a few more words.
Which is fine when everybody's on the same overall level and using the same model. But when your job is to build the model for another human one should be precise with their words.
Toxicitor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:27:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are stars small enough to fit between them, it just wouldn't because gravity.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:57:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At that distance I think those neutron stars would devour the sun.
Lysergicassini ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:13:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hard to fault a child for having zero frame of reference on the size of astral bodies. It's funny as shit though.
jmverlin ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:34:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was a senior in high school, so she was 17-18. Not exactly a child.
Lysergicassini ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
17-18 doesn't seem like a child to a 19-20 year old but when you see the stupid shit people do in their 20's I don't think it's unreasonable to use the term. Also I though you said 11th grade, which where I am is a junior in high school. Could be 16-18 depending on birthday and years held back.
jmverlin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for the confusion. I was a junior. She was a senior.
oogmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to see Randall Munroe set up this hypothetical, though.
That applies for a few of the questions, here.
Dan9977 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised people in other countries get taught so much about space. In Ireland you get taught the basics of the solar system in primary school, and in secondary school, if you choose to study physics for the last two years, gravity and the speed of light are covered but nothing on the galactic scale you where talking about.
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft... my cousin's girlfriend in her 20s assumed the moon and the sun were the same distance as they were roughly the same size.
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if it was a dwarf star?
farcedsed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, they'd still be too large to fit through
Tsevion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A White Dwarf or a Neutron star could fit through... although its passing would likely knock both the Earth and Moon out of orbit, and likely cook us. Any main sequence star though is definitely too large... seeing as Jupiter is already too big to really squeak through.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Neutron star that close would devour the entire solar system.
Tsevion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really how gravity works. Gravity doesn't "Suck" things in... it accelerates them toward it... but that means they gain kinetic energy as they get closer... which means unless they hit square on, they have enough energy to escape again.
A neutron star is generally in the 1.5-2 solar mass region. Our sun hasn't devoured the solar system in 4.5 Billion years... a neutron star wouldn't either. It would however cause massive orbital disruption, probably sending several/all of the planets scattering.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
elmoteca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stars are FAR more massive than any moon. Most of them have a diameter larger than the space between the earth and the moon, so even if gravity didn't exist, they simply wouldn't fit. The only stars that are small enough to fit between them are so dense that their gravity would make both bodies crash into the star.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
morhp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the planets in the solar system fit between Earth and moon. Stars are typically much larger than planets.
Alyex227 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I was always under the impression that for some reason the word star and planet are synonymous and you'd just use 'star' to describe a bigger one usually.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... What, really?
Alyex227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just never thought of the difference between star and planet, I'm decently knowledgeable on the subject besides that.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:55 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, Brown Dwarf stars are close to being a midpoint
Alyex227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:22 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time to freshen up on astrophysics and shit.
tonygerads ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:55:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you get to Iceland, drive or fly? She has a GPA of like 4.3 and is a junior in high school.
higginsburrito ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:06:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the dumbest question I've heard as a student went along the lines of "Isn't it a fact that conservatives just want to conserve money and liberals want to liberate people in need?" This kids a senior on college and has been a part of two major elections. Like come on man, how do you not know the difference.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:27:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That... Really isn't far off though, even if they came at it from the wrong direction.
Reminds me of when I was about six and went to watch my dad vote for the first time. I was trying to get him to vote conservative instead of Labour because of course as a little kid I had only heard the word labour in the context of 'ten months hard labour' and conserve in the context of saving the wildlife. Luckily I didn't sway him!
higginsburrito ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:59:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean yeah but to be that old, vote in two elections and still not know anything is what dumbfounded me. If it was a kid, I'd totally understand lol.
Stewbodies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly that seems pretty similar to much of their core ideology. It's an oversimplification, but it isn't really wrong.
TokyoJokeyo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:09:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is more to conservatism than fiscal conservatism. Many branches of conservatism are about protecting people's liberties, while some liberals want restrictions (and vice versa). And the terms are used quite differently in European politics.
So yes, it's very wrong.
stealthcircling ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:25:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about stupid answer? This one came from a future Playboy Playmate.
Q: What are some examples of stereotypes?
A: Magnavox, RCA, Sony ...
i_want_that_boat ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:10:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I took a college math functions course and one student, at least a month into the semester, raised his hand and said, "but like, what is subtraction? Like how can you just take away? Like what if there's nothing to take away?"
The poor professor had no way to respond. She just recommended he see a tutor. I have no idea how he graduated high school.
Stewbodies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they were just being really existential.
i_want_that_boat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you're right
ACuddlySnowBear ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 16:04:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late so this will probably be burried, but I'm my grade 11 biology class we were learning about reproduction in fish. After the teacher explained how fish release their sperm into the ocean, the smartest girl in class asked, "oh. Is that why the ocean is so salty?" she was dead serious. I've never seen so much disappointment in a teachers face before.
JapaneseStudentHaru ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:14:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this story a million times before
widermind ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:27:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how she knew sperm is salty.
properposhguy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:30:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
11th grade.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thisishowiwrite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are a ton of reasons, but as i understand it, it's from salt and minerals being leached out of the earth and flowing through rivers to the ocean.
That could be completely wrong though.
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow.
jshimko354 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:07:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why is the government putting AIDS in bananas ?"
Alma_Encantada ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:38:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To get the monkeys back for starting the whole shit show.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:58:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So gay men get it when they shove em up their ass." Every idiotic question deserves an idiotic answer.
sonofawitch1983 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably comes from one of those families that believes every conspiracy theory they see online. My sister's family is just like that. I've just stopped commenting on their crazy beliefs.
Pinneh ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student studying abroad for a year.
Me: "ok our next step is to apply for a long-stay visa but I can help with that process"
Her: "but my parents already have a visa, should I apply for a MasterCard too?"
Pawprintjj ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:44:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, I knew of "Visa the credit card" long before I knew of "visa the permit to be in another country." If you don't travel abroad as a kid, why would you?
Pinneh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:36:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a 20 year old student whose paperwork leading up to this moment said "long stay visa permit to enter and stay in the country"
rachelmaryl ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 14:27:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but took a Shakespeare & Lit course in college. While discussing Richard III's soliloquy, a girl raised her hand to ask a question:
"Professor, how did people in the Renaissance SURVIVE without Wal Mart? Like, it just sounds soooooo hard."
GaimanitePkat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:10:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck does Walmart have to do with Richard III? Did she think that he needed to go shopping for camping equipment or something?
TheManInBlack_ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:42:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where else are you supposed to buy a horse when you really need one?
GaimanitePkat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:11:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My kingdom for a riding lawnmower, now only 199.99, layaway option for Christmas!
quantasmm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:53:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Price: One kingdom
(Yellow Smiley Face comes in and slashes price)
Price: Half a kingdom!
vicious_love ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:32:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but while on a school trip to Washington, D.C. (from Michigan) in 8th grade a classmate asked a teacher when we would be converting our money. He was 100% convinced that we were leaving the country, and thus would be using a different form of currency on the trip.
TangleF23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
goddamn why do all of these non-nyc schools get beautifully long trips!!!
Stewbodies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because we don't get to go to NYC. Except if that's the long trip.
Terriberri877 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:53:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chemistry here: I am regularly ask 'can I drink this miss?' when students work with chemicals. The solution is bright blue with a hazard label on it what do you think?! Grrr
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:24:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can drink it. Whether or not you should drink it is the real issue.
Rockburgh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, my high school chem classes would constantly have teachers saying "this is poison, don't touch it," and then it turns out to be sugar or flower or cornstarch or whatever.
...which we found out when people inevitably ate them.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:04:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite moment as a teacher was:
I was standing in front of my high school geometry classroom handing out worksheets as the kids came in. As each student passed, I'd say, "Good morning so and so! Here you go! Take this with you, and we'll use it later." Most students said other nothing or just mumbled a depressed hello back, but Terrell took a different approach:
Me: (hands over worksheet) "Good morning Terrell! How are ya?" Terrell: "Good morning Mr F." Me: "Take this with you to your desk. We will use it later." Terrell: (looks at worksheet) (Long pause) Terrell: (looks up at me) "Mr. Flugelman, What the FUCK is this shit?"
I wouldn't call that a stupid question, though.
sharings_caring ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 14:28:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a dream that I was in a scuba diving class, and the instructor asked if we had any questions, telling us that there 'are no stupid questions'.
Dream-Me then asked "Do the sharks have wifi?"
BigDisk ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 15:40:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but they have bluetooth!
Varboa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, that was smooth
fierce_jellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you just been sitting on that pun for a while?
strydercrump ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:22:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://incredible-adventures.com/roatan/six_gill_side-600.jpg
This shark has 6 bars of signal so they even get pretty good reception Flying fish get the cloud though.
sharings_caring ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better signal than I get. The world is broken.
Varboa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey buddy, you ever heard of a sub called /r/shittyaskscience ? Go be with your people!
strydercrump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sure have. I'm just usually beaten to my puns by greater men and women in the field of shittyology
Varboa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand the feeling :(
CarcajouIS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:06:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would explain how pirates download torrents.
twinb27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:22:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they?
sharings_caring ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:25:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Inconclusive. Dreams can be a bitch like that.
twinb27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
one of my friends has a phd in biology i will ask her if sharks have wifi
sharings_caring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, yeah just let me know.
roqueofspades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is pretty wholesome
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They literally can see electrical pulses and could theoretically communicate with them so... sort of?
showyerbewbs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:38:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH SEMPAI!!
shoutout to /r/TsundereSharks
incognita1978 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:34:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
Sophomore year of high school (1994) we're going over the reproductive system of a human female during Biology class. One of my male classmates, who is sitting next to me, turns to the male classmate behind him and softly asks, "Wait. So girls have 3 holes down there??" Male classmate 2 responds with, "Yup. One to pee with, one to play with, and one to poop with." Male classmate 1: "How do you know the difference?" Male classmate 2: "I'll explain later."
FamousOhioAppleHorn ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 14:51:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher, but...": this guy back in hs decided to raise his hand & loudly ask our history teacher if he was gonna let us get away with some particular thing as usual. I don't remember what it was, just that it fell under "the teacher is being nice by not making it officially forbidden & we don't bring it up in front of company." Our teacher turned really pale, walked into the center of everyone's desks & started whispering "Don't bring that up again. The front office has started listening into classes without telling us." We all thought he was being paranoid. But the PA turned on later in class for a couple minutes & you could hear someone failing to be stealth about moving around 0_0
Chopinplease ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:13:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining another scenario in which the teacher was just fucking with you guys and had the principal in on it. As a teacher, I must say my favorite thing to do is mess with my students.
FamousOhioAppleHorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, our principal was just a real asshole. He & some of the other teachers did not like the principal
LostGundyr ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:08:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's some Big Brother shit.
bluegreenplanet89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:00:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf was going on with your school?
ameliabedelia7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY SHIT our school used to do this too!! We'd hear it crackle and everyone would be quiet for a moment
LordBpicks ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 15:25:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moms a teacher one that sticks out is why doesn't lebron James live in the White House... they thought he was president
widermind ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:24:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats because he's a King. As in King James.
Quesly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are you from cleveland?
LordBpicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No suburban Wisconsin
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 14:53:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gremlin87 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:48:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of bad Santa.
BBT- "What's wrong with you? did someone drop you on your head when you were a baby"
Kid- "how could somebody drop me on my own head?"
BBT- "well . . . Wha. . . Are you fucking with me?"
truthinlies ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:35:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Water in the ocean: water exists here on this Earth. That water, being less dense than the ground, will sit on top of it, though below air as water is more dense than that. The ground is not a perfect sphere, it has hills and valleys and cracks and mountains, so the water will rest down inside these valleys and cracks and on the lower parts of earth, this, the oceans - where the earth is at its lowest, is where water will be pulled to. That is why we have water in our oceans.
Houseton ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... Why is there water in the ocean Mr. ayou_stark.
other person
Yeah good question! Why?
supremecrafters ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comets and meteorites, probably. We're not 100% sure yet.
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because God divided the land from the water?
breqwas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is not stupid, this is brilliant. I really hope you gave him an answer.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is there water in the ocean? Because of gravity and water beeing a liquid. Or because if there was no water in the ocean it wouldn't be an ocean.
SlayerOfLegendz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marijuana amirite
sonny68 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually seems like a good quest.
tommydubya ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 19:17:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading these comments has helped me to wrap my head around the presidential election
SimbaPenn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:48:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In response to a reading about Abraham Lincoln's assassination:
"Mr. SimbaPenn, is the booth still there?"
"What booth?"
"The booth where Lincoln got shot. The John Wilkes Booth. Can you visit it?"
"...."
I was teaching 9th grade.
Houseton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:04:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey now. Great question. Is the booth Lincoln was shot in still there at Ford Theatre?
SimbaPenn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I wish that was what the student meant. :-(
Houseton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My answer was just, when said out loud the last name could have been mistaken for Wilke. John Wilke. With that s, without being told, the student could think it's possessive. John Wilke's Booth. I know you understand what I am saying. I just think the question isn't stupid.
Now the student would never have had heard John Wilke's Booth shot Lincoln in Ford Theatre. How did the booth shoot Lincoln? These might have kept the student up at night. Hahaha!
edit: Just re-read... When reading about Lincoln's assassination. The student might not have been reading but only listening. Yeah... Kinda dumb question.
SimbaPenn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:58:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, the student's reading comprehension was very, very low, so you're probably not that far off. It was something read by the student and then read along with me individually. I think it was more the student heard/read "Booth" and couldn't make the leap that it could be someone's last name, despite the capitalization. In the student's mind "booth" only had one meaning. It would've been interesting to have the student draw what they thought was happening.
sacredblasphemies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I remember going to see it when I was a kid. Then there was a house with the bed that Lincoln was taken to (and died upon) with his dried blood still on it.
SailorArashi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:56 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and no.
Ford's Theatre is still there, kinda. It's even run as a theater restored to how it would have looked in Lincoln's time. The presidential booth is also there, appearing exactly how it did back then.
The thing is, Ford's Theatre was closed down after the assassination and was repurposed as an office building. The insides have been torn down, gutted by fires, collapsed, etc, numerous times. So while the Theatre is entirely restore to exactly how it used to appear (except with modern lighting) none of the interior is original.
So, you can see the exact place Lincoln was shot in the exact Theatre where he was shot...but none of the physical objects present are the same. The few remaining original relics of Ford's Theatre are in an (excellent) museum in the basement.
I go there every year for their traditional production of A Christmas Carol. It's a very nice little theater. Supposedly the house across the street where he actually died has been preserved a little better in its original state.
knoxvomica ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:58:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's the disc in the back of the textbook for?" - College level student.
truthinlies ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:05:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frisbee
EconDetective ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:45:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's for people who haven't updated their computer hardware in a decade!
missblue732 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:45:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair not everyone uses those in high school. I didn't know what that was until my freshman year of college.
knoxvomica ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:58:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The disc even says "Videos and extra materials".
missblue732 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh well then never mind, that's just ignorance.
AboynamedDOOMTRAIN ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. DOOMTRAIN, what kind of dogs were they in 101 Dalmatians?"
edit: This was a 14 year old 8th grader, just for the record.
goldmage263 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a metal riff that plays every time someone says that name?
AboynamedDOOMTRAIN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in my head, unfortunately.
C-JaneJohns ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:34:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lab Instructor for an Intro to Archaeology class in college. This student was a junior: "Will a compass point North in South America?" "Do you mean Antarctica?" "No, South America, they're closer to the South Pole than the North Pole so it should point south right?" Thus began a conversation on differences in magnetic pulls and positive versus negative. He wasn't a bad student, and while it was something easily Googled I am glad he felt comfortable enough to ask that question in my class.
quantasmm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:12:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is a decent question if you're not up on the science of magnets.
fierce_jellybean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually wondering that... oops...
iheartcookin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all that dumb, I don't really understand how that works. Could learn it though if I set my mind to it.
RainonCooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:35 on February 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually had to look this up and I really liked the answer.
There are two types of compass One made for the northern hemisphere and southern
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:41:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher, but I just asked my teacher and she had two from the same student- "Isn't a hermaphrodite a Greek God?" "When you sleep with your family, isnt that ancestry?"
LostGundyr ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:29:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hermaphrodite was the child of Hermes and Aphrodite. They had both sets of genitals, which is why we use that term. So yes, Hermaphrodite was a Greek god. Correction: technically it was Hermaphroditus, which is where the English word comes from. So.... half right?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:07:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well fuck
Triton_330 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:19:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you tell that to your teacher so that she understands it wasn't a dumb question?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:04:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually yes. Immediately after, but the one about "ancestry" still stands
Triton_330 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, of course. I just wondered if she had an "Oh, I guess that made more sense than I thought" kind of reaction about the Aphrodite thing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea she did. Shes super chill. I was actually there when the kid asked, and in all honesty, I dont think thats what he meant. He wasnt the best with words and stuff like that.
buckeye111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's only called ancestry in Alabama
ElderCunningham ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:52:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is the moon just what the sun does at night?"
Granted, I teach kindergarteners.
dc4894 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:22:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, that's not stupid, it's just cute
rawkiteer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:06:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a 13 year old in my History lesson "When was colour invented?" "Good question! I think colour photography was possible in the later part of the nineteenth century but was expensive and difficult so didn't became widespread until the 1950s/1960s, film was actually a little earlier than that, you started seeing big Hollywood colour films like Gone with the Wind in the 1930s."
"No I meant in real life, like everything was black and white - so when was everyone in colour?"
I had to take a minute to process.
mbok_jamu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was in 1925 when some ladies in Paris made a revolution in fashion industry. They were bored to see hundreds of black dresses and white shoes in their wardrobe, so they decided to pick some flowers from their yard, then used it to dye their dresses and shoes. But then one of the girls - let's call her Coco - found a magic flower. It was so colorful and glittery. Coco sniffs the magic flower, then felt a tickling sensation in her nose. "Achoo!!" she sneezed glitters and rainbow that sticked to everything she touched.
So, there it is, every single things in colors we see today came from a girl's snot.
InfinityLDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes strip. Calvin asked his Dad about it, Dad replied with "oh no, the film was colour, it's just that those were the only colours available back then.
Psmgop ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:38:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Violent storm occurs. Our school's power goes out. There's another high school on the adjacent property.
Dude 1 looks out the window, sees the neighboring school, and says, "Why is our power out, but theirs isn't?"
Dude 2 says, "They have a different transformer."
Dude 3 yells, "Transformers aren't real, idiot!"
Sylvant ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 14:04:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college there was a big derpy guy..we'll call him Bear. Now Bear liked to run his mouth a bit, thinking that he was the most clever and funniest person in the room.
We had a costume design professor who was great and everyone's grandma....until You interuppted her, she was stressing about something, or just on a mood. Then she turned into an agressively passive-agressive Destroyer of Worlds.
This is during Intro to Costuming she's explaining to the class now to add and subtract fractions of an inch, so I've pretty much tuned out since I've never had issues dealing with fractions.
After explaining her convoluted method of it for a bit Bear decides to chime in.
"I think we all understand the concept of an inch".....I swear I saw her eyes start to glow red. I could feel the contained rage seep from her pores. But she restrains herself from slapping him across the room and moves on....
"Wait I don't understand" chimes in Bear. She then proceeds to spend the next 30 or so minutes explaining the "concept of an inch" to him, and basically only him.
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps it would be easier if you just dropped your drawers...
Jheme ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:17:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a travel agent, which feels like teaching sometimes. I live in Australia and I've had an absurd amount of people ask how much cheaper it is to get a bus to America rather than fly.
Another good one was "how far is it from Uluru to Alice Springs by car, and how does that compare to taking the trip by taxi?" For those wondering, it's about 6 hours by either method.
DenverDudeXLI ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:49:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just pleased to find out that the United States doesn't have a monopoly on being intensely dumb on geography.
Favorite Intensely Dumb Geography Story: A man from New Mexico called the ticket office in Atlanta for the 1996 Summer Olympics there, trying to get event tickets. The ticket agent did not believe that New Mexico is a part of the United States, and that the man would have to call his country's ticketing agency.
Jheme ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most times I ever mention New Mexico (a lot of tours travel through Santa Fe or ABQ), people here are completely surprised that there's a New Mexico.
DenverDudeXLI ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:21:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if anyone ever has that problem with New Zealand?
Jheme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine it's probably limited to Denmark, or concentrated around Scandinavia. But my experience with Scandinavian's has shown them to be fairly smart people.
michaelrohansmith ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:28:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a bunch of Chinese co-workers visiting for a while. Over Christmas they planned to rent a car in Alice Springs and drive to the Kimberley. We persuaded them to try something less... ambitious.
johnnyrockets22 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 9th grade world history, and a couple of weeks ago we were covering Spanish colonization of the Americas. At the end of class one day I asked, which is the largest SPANISH SPEAKING COUNTRY in the Americas, while having a map up on the board:
Student A: "MIAMI!" Student B: "FLORIDA!" Students C: "TEXAS or LA"
ME: "Guys...COUNTRY...it's directly south (pointing downwards) of us"
Class: "New York?"
Me: "Guys...it's Mexico..." God fucking dammit
polarity30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I would not make a good teacher. That would be it for me, I'd just pack up my shit and leave.
Frank35098 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why the way geography is taught to US kids is a little bad, we are taught overkill amounts of the US map of the states, to the point a lot of kids lose interest in it and forget most of it, or think that's the entire world. Then once most kids are exhausted of looking at maps, you are taught the major land masses and then just touch on where some country's are located. (I have seen some cases where it takes till Highschool for country locations on a world map are taught) This causes kids to not bother learning world geography, and the only thing they recall from there introduction of maps is the first thing they learnt before they got bored of it, the US state map.
QueenaDisney ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:25:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher and this isn't a dumb question by a student but still a really dumb response.
In middle school once a year, the girls' gym class was always taken over for a few days by Girl Scout leaders. Normally we would do a craft project and talk about female issues and body positivity etc. I remember we are all sitting on the bleachers and one of the leaders was going around the room and having each of us answer the question, "What's your favorite part about being a girl?"
Most girls said stuff like, "I'll get to be a mom someday" or "I love wearing make-up and going shopping". Then she got to this one girl who shouted, "We get to be eaten out by guys!"
Dumb but funny.
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Middle school? Kids are a lot more advanced these days. At that age I was mostly thinking about kissing a girl and maybe seeing her breasts.
Frank35098 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the era of the Internet, where the discussions that typically adults hide from children till they are older are only 1 click away for a kid of any age surfing the web.
lordfukwad ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:52:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 7th grade U.S. history class we were talking about the the great earthquake that hit Alaska. One girl in my class raised her hand and asked very serriously, "Why are we talking about Alaska? I thought this was U.S. History."
ilpalazzo3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have separate US history and international history classes?!
Frank35098 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the United States, typically yes, we have a separate class for US history where you go over the same tiny bit of history over and over again till you hit Highschool (Highschool typically just teaches it for 1 year and then FINALLY gets into world history). And this is why a lot of Americans don't know shit about stuff like world geography, as US history is taught as if it is the world's history till about Highschool... :edit: lower grades do talk about a little world history, but it's essentially a really bad summary that really isn't taught with much importance till high school (grades 9 through 12). (also different states may of taught it more but I can only speak for my states education, as until recently the stuff taught that isn't on standardized tests, like history was really up to the state or school to decide.)
lmeier359 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:33:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was me. But all my life I've been pretty good at geography, except for Germany. I could never really pin where Germany was, for some odd reason I thought Germany was in South America (you can imagine how confusing the world wars were for me). Until one day, in seventh grade, im fucking around with the globe and someone asks me to find Germany, well I go over to South America, and surprised, it's not there. I really go over it, read every little bumblefuck country in South America, and low and behold I can't find it. So I pipe up to my teacher who is looking down at her desk, "I think this globe is broken, I can't seem to find Germany". " Have you looked over near Poland?" - "no because Poland isn't in South America" she looks up, gives me one of those long stares ending in a slow blink , mumbles how she's speechless, then goes back to what she's doing. I guess I wasn't too good at geography .
TL;DR : Germans crossed the Atlantic to invade Europe.
FearTheWeird ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:02:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During sex ed, the same boy asked these two questions:
Does semen taste like vanilla? His reasoning was that it looks like vanilla icing.
Can a boner rip through your pants?
Can't wait for sex ed this year.
ObiJuanKenobi123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine sure as hell can /s
Spazmer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:09 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume the Hulk's does.
nagsy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:04:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Task: Create a report on an influential black person for Black History Month. "Can I choose Eminem?" Later that lesson, same boy: "How about Amy Winehouse?"
PastorPuff ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:38:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A reversal of roles, in my hs freshman current events class, right after Obama was elected, everyone was freaking out about how Obama was 'going to take our guns away' even the teacher. I expressed my indifference and this exchange happened:
T: it'll hurt you, you shoot don't you?
M: yeah, arrows I make myself. With a bow I made myself.
T: You can't do that, you're not Indian.
He was serious, as were a few others who joined in and my unwillingness to bring my bow to school to show them was 'proof' that I was lying. Ahh small town America.
NateDecker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were they trying to say that you not being a Native American, were therefore technologically incapable of making a bow and arrow, or were they saying that it was not legal to do so?
PastorPuff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:55:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Their thought was that only native Americans could actually make bows and arrows. That it was some sort of secret they've kept from the rest of the world.
cyrano-de-whee ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:36:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So late to this, but it's fun pretending I'm heard. Had a kid ask me what was the difference between the East and West coast. Thought she meant culturally, but no, she meant what was the geographical difference.
MaliceTowardNone1 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:14:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College International Relations, when talking about the Berlin Wall:
"Did East Germany get West Germany to pay for it?"
Yes, he was joking.
channsterrr ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:42:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 2nd grade in Massachusetts, but I'm originally from Texas. So I had someone from home be pen pals with my class.
My kids were writing letters to their pen pals. They were supposed to tell them something about themselves and then ask them some questions.
Kid: Ms. Channsterrr, do they speak English in Texas?
Me: .... Do I speak English?
Kid: ... Yes?
Me: .... Am I from Texas?
Kid: ... Yes?
Me: .... So what do you think the answer to your question might be?
Kid: ... Maybe?
kyuke ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:56:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kids logic is pretty sound. One person from who speaks English from Texas doesn't mean all Texans speak English. :D
PotatoPlata ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:29:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, logic checks out. I'm from Russia, I speak English.
lux514 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We got an excellent up and coming lawyer here...
Baron-of-bad-news ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:54:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A born logician.
skiballerina ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 14:20:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in 2005, right after the big Tsunami in Indonesia: I was giving a lecture to my high school students on the fall of Rome, and said, "So, in 476, Rome officially fell." A girl (who was as sweet as anything but not the brightest bulb) raised her hand and asked, "Was it a tsunami?"
Astilaroth ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:22:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how kids immediately smash new information on top of what they already know and mash it up in a big steaming pile of nonsense.
When I worked at daycare we were talking about pets when a 3,5 year old asked me if I had any. I told her my rabbit died that months. She patted me on the knee and said all mournful "it was eaten by crocodile wasn't it".
We live in The Netherlands. But we did read a book that featured a crocodile the week before.
LostGundyr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tons of crocodiles in the Netherlands, huh?
Astilaroth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:23:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Main cause of death amongst pet buns :(
345tom ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 12:56:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "Not a Teacher but" comment: While studying GCSE history, we had someone in the class say "So the Germans went to war because the trees were too high?". Everyone looks around confused for a bit, until someone realises what they meant, and says "You mean the Treaty of Versailles?". Yes. Yes they did mean that.
EDIT: I don't know why they thought we'd be talking about trees being high, I didn't know them that well, or like them that much. I also don't know why everyone seems to doubt this story? It's so innocuous. Like, if I was going to make up a story to get karma, it would be better than this shit?
awkward_quasar ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 13:48:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not so sure about this one
345tom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:01:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are you not sure about? Because, yes, this did happen. And yes, the person in question wasn't the brightest bulb.
awkward_quasar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:13:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this actually happened
345tom ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:52:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, good for you I suppose? It did happen. Someone genuinally thought Treaty of Versailles= Trees were too high.
Why would I make something this dumb up?
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:53:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this an accent/pronunciation issue? I'm saying it in my head in an American accent and I don't get it.
345tom ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:56:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I've misphrased it, but the general gist was that they were hearing about the trees being high. I suppose they got the Trees from Treaty, and the high bit from the end of versailles. I don't know what they were hearing exactly in the middle, I wasn't exactly a close friend of theirs. I assume, as it's Northern England, they thought the teacher was dropping the H in High.
WorshipNickOfferman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:08:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes far more sense. I said it in my head like Ricky Gervais and now I understand it. Think you lost the Americans on this because it doesn't work well in our accent.
kwagenknight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im the same way, I kinda get it but cant make ends meet...even pronouncing it like Ver-sigh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they mean 'treaty of Versailles' sounds like 'tree too oversize'. Sounds unlikely though.
Araya213 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:46:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tree dee Oversize?
That's the best I can come up with. Sharpening my pitchfork.
dstutzbach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/quityourbullshit Just in case this escalates....
porilo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Treaty of Versailles Trees over Sailles.
I guess those trees meant too high war reparations for the Germans, them Germans they love their trees.
squintina ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:49:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. Versailles doesn't sound much like trees too high.
popsickle_in_one ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:01:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Treaty of Versailles does a tiny bit though.
Doctective ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even though.
Vanetia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:25:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure it does. It's not, like, exact or anything, but I can definitely imagine it. But I grew up with some hard of hearing people so...
The Treaty of Versailles
The trees are too high
Doctective ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We can write them side be side like that fifty times and they still wont sound the same.
Vanetia ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:47:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*to you
TooBusyToLive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It works better this way:
Treaty of Versailles Treaty-o-versailles Trees oversized
Traumahawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this is a dumbest question thread...
Doctective ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't sound like a question that was actually asked.
Traumahawk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a question.
Doctective ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But not one that was actually asked.
Traumahawk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctective ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh okay. Forgive my skepticism, I had a pretty long Skype call yesterday with my good friend Abe Lincoln while we were playing CS:GO and he warned me about just believing everything I read on the internet.
Traumahawk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:02:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're absolutely right, my friend. Nothing ever happens in real life, ever. People in real life never ever have people ask them outrageous and unexpected questions. It's all a lie made up for intangible internet points. How could I have been so foolish?
Doctective ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, it happens to everyone.
averazul ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:16:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It verks if you sez it viz a fake german ahkcent, conjugate ze verb wrongly, and shout ze verds "the treaty of versaille":
the trea ty of vers aille
ZE TREE DEY AH VAS HIGH
the tree they all was high
squintina ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that you put it that way...
Nerospidy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:11:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They probably had wax in their ears
Trea-ty-versailles Tree-to-high
zulu-bunsen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:32:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wi-To-Lo
Nerospidy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:46:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sum-ting-wong
awkward_quasar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ho-Lee-Fuk
Villainous_Windmill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:29:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Treaty of Versailles Trees were too high
TooBusyToLive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Treaty = trees Of Versailles = oversize
Trees oversized.
squintina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, I think you figured it out.
ghosttrainhobo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/trees
jimmyblockhead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first world war started because a man named Archy Duke shot an ostrich because he was hungry
thecokecanman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:12:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, this one's fake
345tom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is actually real. Yes, there was a person that dumb.
Ophelia_Of_The_Abyss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... Don't get it. Can you explain? What's the relationship between the ToV and trees?
ConstantJelly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you say it aloud in the right kind of UK accent, 'the treaty of versailles' can sound like 'the tree-ie of the size'. I'm guessing it was a West Midlands school here though, because we are known for both being thick and bad at speaking coherently.
345tom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They misheard I believe and had gone on believing when people were talking about ToV they were talking about the trees. The person wasn't smart. They thought America bombed Pearl Harbour.
TooBusyToLive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Especially considering them saying "trees were too high" doesn't mean that's what they HEARD, just what they said back.
Probably heard: Treaty of Versailles Treee-O-Versailles Tree oversize
Thinks: "They were mad because the trees are oversized?" Says: "Why were they mad the trees were too high?"
AlsoNotaSpider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's wrong, but I absolutely love when this kind of thing happens. Once watched a 21-22 year old undergrad girl attempt to explain what "psoriasis of the liver" is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken words are not as unambiguous as written
JBloodthorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:08 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To someone with no previous experience with French, it sounds like
Tree Tea Over Size
TobiDaDog ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:07:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What kind of vegetable is salami made of?" She was in 10th grade and believe it or not was genuinely shocked when everyone burst out laughing, then tried to argue her point, then fell into a state of hushed awe when she was proved wrong. Just repeating over and over again "I thought it was a vegetable...I thought salami was a vegetable..."
LaGrrrande ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:37:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but witnessed this in high school English class during a section on Machiavelli - "So, Tupac died and come back as Machiavelli?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LaGrrrande ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can only assume that she thought that they were the same person. This was the early 2000s, and his post-humous album Makaveli & Dillinger Don't Go 2 Sleep had recently been released.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LaGrrrande ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makaveli was apparently one of his stage names, as well.
fearthespur ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me if the inside of an acorn tasted like cheese to a squirrel. Dumb? Yes. But I'd be lying if I didn't start wondering the same thing.
SoggySeal ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:44:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the game here, but I had a 16 year old student look at a world map, point to India and say "is that Manhattan?"
thefenixfamily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:12 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume the map was labeled, so I think there are other problems to attend to before his geographical knowledge.
Ratikus ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:29:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was training a new employee (about 40 years old) on how to use a design program on a computer that you needed a password to access.
Me: You have a temporary password that I'll give you. Once logged in you'll be prompted to create your own unique password.
Employee: OK, what do I type in?
Me: AdMiN8. Be sure the A, M, and N are capitalized.
Employee: What do you mean, capitalized?
Me: Uppercase.
Employee: I don't understand.
Me: Make them big, with the shift key. Remember that the d and i are little.
Employee: What about the 8? Is it a big or a little 8?
Me: ...
The_BeardedClam ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:36:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but here goes. My sister works with kids who get kicked out of public school for various reasons and she has multiple teenagers at 6th to 8th grade levels. For one of her science tests the question was what galaxy do we live in and a kid answered; Samsung.
kanga_roos ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 13:37:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a child (7th grade) ask me how people decide which day is their birthday.
When I explained to him that your birthday is the day your were born, and you don't get to "choose" it he couldn't believe it and acted as if I told him he just won a million candybars.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
kanga_roos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:14 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that completely. His background was mixed (white and hispanic, born and raised in Baltimore). I asked some probing questions at first, for clarity, and he really did not know what a birthday was, other than a day you get gifts and go to dinner.
kanga_roos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:33 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a lot of kids from other countries that love to tell me, "In America I'm 6 but in xyz I'm 7!"
Chelesuarez ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:42:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do crabs think fish can fly?
PanKurzcak ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:40:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No because crabs can swim
araLetot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really like that question!
elk845 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:07:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but once had a student in my US History class ask "If time zones are real, why didn't China warn us about 9/11?"
Baron-of-bad-news ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:14:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well as you all know, the earth is round and the sun goes around the world, lighting different parts at different times. Now Einstein capped speed, you can't go any faster than the speed of light, which is the speed that dawn moves across the ground. Even if you were in the fastest car imaginable you couldn't drive West fast enough to outrun the dawn. Which makes sense if you think about it, because if you could then you could drive back into night, drive all through the night and find yourself entering last evening which would be time travel. So to stop people doing that Einstein made a rule that nobody could go any faster than light. Anyway, what that means is that even if the moment the Chinese saw it happen they put someone on a plane and flew them to New York to warn people they would arrive right after the attacks. You can't take less than one hour to move into a time zone which is +1 hour, that'd make no sense.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOD!
ScarletNumbers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were in on it, duh
THE_LOUDEST_PENIS ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 11:58:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but used to work in a secondary school.
"Are magpies just the babies of blackbirds and doves?"
mountainsprouts ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:55:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda cute
kalmakka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is super adorable!
I'm imagining some very happy magpie parents at the moment.
catfingers64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to do an image search. Magpies do look like a mix between a black bird and a dove.
Glowsnake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair if different breeds of dogs can have puppies it isn't a massive stretch to think 2 types/species(?) of bird can produce offspring...
themockingju ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:44:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Where did they get the tissue for these slides?"
This was in the 3rd year of grad school. We're becoming doctors and his undergraduate degree was in the biological sciences. The tissues were that of fetal brains, eyes & neurological systems. Where the fuck do you think the tissue came from?
I_AM_PLUNGER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how impossibly weird the question is without the backstory.
quantasmm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are dueling rumors out there that aborted fetuses being used for all kinds of things / not allowed to be used for anything. The question may have been, how were the fetuses obtained?
DJ_Black_Ted_Danson ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:59:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First year of teaching, a student is having a discussion with the security guard and I happen to walk by. The student goes, "Mr. [DJBTD], is I'm smart?"
Houseton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... Is I?
DJ_Black_Ted_Danson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is I'm*
CassieCamp ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:30:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: "Do you have a colored pencil sharpener?" Me: "Sweetie, the sharpener is right by the door as always." Student: "Yes, but I need to use colored pencils."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:31:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's 2017, black people can use whatever sharpener they want!
quantasmm ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:17:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its in the back of the class, next to the white drinking fountain.
Frank35098 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:57:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a valid question as in allot of classes, teachers would make a big deal about putting colored pencils in the pencil sharpener students used for normal pencils. This was because the wax tips of colored pencils tend to regularly break off jamming the sharpener wich most teachers seemed to hate fixing. (in any class I ever had where a teacher was like that, they handed out those little plastic ones that use a razer blade you twist around the pencil)
Thedragonking444 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:34:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot is two words
learntoswim_CPR ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:51:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question, but I teach swimming as an academic class at a university. My first semester teaching I went over the syllabus and then had the class introduce themselves and tell me why they signed up for the class. One girl said "I didn't know we would have to get in the water." I was literally speechless for a moment.
quantasmm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:55:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's work on some swimming theory. Grab a calculator and some hydrodynamic equations and let's get to work! Or, bring a swimsuit. Your choice.
earthquakeglued ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:06:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a high school senior, taking a World History class. "Here's something I never understood: if Hitler was from Australia, why did he become president of Germany?"
After I corrected her and explained his political rise to power, she still seemed confused. Turns out had never realized that Austria was a country. Everything she'd ever heard about Austria (which, admittedly probably wasn't a whole lot) she attributed to Australia.
TheCount913 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 13:43:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What time does this period end?" Mother fucker the schedule is posted right next to the analog clock you can't read.
ariesangel0329 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an analog clock. Even if the kid saw the time on the schedule, they probably wouldn't be able to figure out what that time looks like on the clock.
Source: I'm 22 and kids in my senior year of high school were saying they can't tell time with an analog clock.
ilpalazzo3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird. I understand that you don't see them as much so it's less vital of a skill, but it takes 30 seconds to explain and then you know forever
TheCount913 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's why I always say "next to the clock you can't read"
FossilDoctor ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:52:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday: are there vegetarian sharks?
Last year: if wooly mammoths aren't dinosaurs, what are they?
Bats aren't birds??
These were serious questions
Note, I teach at a 4 year university.
formative_informer ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:57:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fish are friends not food!
quantasmm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:58:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like you present information at a 4 year university.
Whether you're teaching or not isn't really up to you, apparently.
Troophead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:11:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they were thinking of whale sharks? I had thought they were vegetarian before Googling it just now, because of the filter feeding on plankton thing.
Triton_330 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:50:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question, considering the bible calls bats birds: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus+11%3A13-19
koinu-chan_love ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bats are bugs. Duh.
https://lostbetweentheletters.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/bats-arent-bugs.jpg
ilpalazzo3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see why they added the extra year...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These aren't dumb questions at all. It's easy to see how you could arrive at each of them.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:17:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a high school junior ask me how the first ships to America refueled with more gas to get back across the Ocean.
I had to quickly discuss getting natural resources for the trip to save her the embarrassment.
walkerlucas ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:32:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student once stopped an economics lecture to ask the date.
The prof said look at your computer and any more questions you have think about them for 2 seconds before asking.
flyspaghetticon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have a good professor
Nwambe ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:34:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, what's the difference between 7/11 and 9/11?"
somekindofhat ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:36:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9/11 was an inside job.
7/11 was a part time job.
TexasFordTough ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:46:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One is a tragic incident and the other is when two planes flew into the WTC
quantasmm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:43:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
right around 2/11
Furt77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:10:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About 60 days.
thefenixfamily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:14 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or 2, if you live in most places other than the USA
visionarysloth ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid send me an email asking if I could change his failing grade. He went on vacation during the last three weeks of class! FAIL!
Tallus08 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:52:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few years back a co-worker saw me reading a book at lunch. I had my dictionary on the table. He asked what the dictionary was for. I told him to look up words I don't know the meaning to. I asked him what he did when he didn't know what a word meant. He said he just makes something up and moves on. I was appalled.
The next year, this kid left for college to be a pharmacist. I weep for the future.
DangerDamage ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:53:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I remember a few good ones kids would ask in my grade
8th grade a kid asked if the Holocaust happened, about 2 weeks into learning about the Holocaust. He literally thought it was just a fiction story we were learning about to teach human rights.
In my junior year of highschool, we had this REALLY dumb popular girl who said the funniest shit.
We were learning about gravity and the equation for it, and the teacher puts up an image of the Sun, and she fucking blurts out, "Wait, the Sun's not a star?"
"Yes it is..."
"I THOUGHT STARS WERE STAR SHAPED WHAT"
Our teacher literally was just so dumbfounded it looked like it took him a minute to understand what she just said.
celaeneo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:56:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was once asked "does milk come from eggs?", didn't get the chance to respond though because somebody else answered "don't be stupid, it comes from a carton". These were fifteen year olds.
vinnyorcharles ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:44:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both of these came from the same girl in my 7th grade class.
Is Africa a state?
How do you spell "W"
I didn't even have to say anything for the second one. The entire class looked at her and in various told her that is indeed how you spell "W"
Furt77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U U or Double U
vinnyorcharles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I think she was thinking of spelling out the full pronunciation, like "double you." She however asked it in a profoundly stupid way.
patrickbabcock ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:13:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was asked by a 3rd grade student "where do you work?" As if I'm being a teacher for fun
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hopefully, you are. :-)
Spazmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:49 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a daycare and my kids didn't think I had a job. Just a bunch of other kids coming over to play with them every day.
mightymaude ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:03:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today, asked by a 10th grader:
"So, a fish is a mineral, right?"
RicanHavok1973 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:55:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher, but i was asked a question by a friend of mine that i think fits in this circle of stupidity. When we were teens, he asked me "why didnt any milk come out when he sucked on his gf breast" i told him that its just like the nipples on a bottle and that he had to prick it first with a safety pin. 3 days later his girl came up to be calling me an asshole. I still laugh all the time about it and its been almost 30 years.
tubadude2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:59:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only stupid questions are ones that are answered by the thing I literally just said four or five times.
"Open up to page 30, number 5"
"Open up to page 30, number 5"
"Open up to page 30, number 5"
"Open up to page 30, number 5"
"Mr. Tubadude2, what song are we playing?"
Simplyx69 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:04:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a college introductory Astronomy class I TAd for, we were doing a lab on the Sun, where we used a flash animation that allowed you to set your latitude to anywhere on Earth on any day of the year, and watch the path the Sun traces out on the sky. The point was to see things like the Sun setting and rising farther south in the winter and north in the summer (in the northern hemisphere), and that the night/day cycle is more severe the closer you are to the poles.
One of the locations we had them look at was the North Pole itself, since there the Sun moves in horizontal paths across the sky, meaning it's in either perpetual day or perpetual night. While looking at this location, one of my students noticed that the compass indicated that all four cardinal directions now said south, instead of north, south, east, and west. I explained that since you were looking at the North Pole, no matter what direction you travel towards from there, you will be heading directly towards the South Pole, and therefore any direction you go will be south. Admittedly, a weird concept, so I waited patiently while the student processed this and readied their followup question:
"Does that mean at the South Pole you fall of the Earth?"
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why the South Pole is trickier to reach than the North Pole.
cloudhacker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:24:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but once in chemistry we were talking about density and the instructor was doing a demo with different woodblocks and water to show how objects denser than water sink. A kid in the front politely raised his hand and asked "so if my arm were denser than this desk, would it pass through the desk?"
Kstan777 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:33:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a TA at my university one of my students thought thunder was a result of clouds bumping into each other.
ifyouseekamy69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember being taught this ๐
rageofheaven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:36:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that is fucking retarded.
degoba ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:51:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in 6th grade a kid in my religion class asked the teacher if you killed someone in a video game would you go to hell. Everyone treated him like a dumbshit. Fast forward 15 years later to graduate philosophy courses and half my professors could have turned that into a week long discussion.
InfinityLDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rooster Teeth maybe a video about that...
https://youtu.be/IMSHU6Q-2cY
roundcircle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:11:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's a verb?" - Student in my college English class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does
Matthew_BpBuds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:21 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.
TriMill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very true. "What's" is a verb.
roundcircle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmmm, nah. Usually is is a pronoun. I think the closest you would get is the adverb form like "For what cause?"
scribbleslab ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:53:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student with a 9%, has yelled profanities at me, that I thought dropped out of the class after not showing up for months, ask me for a letter of recommendation.... I laughed .... hard... and then kicked him out of the room....
zombimuncha ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:02:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember one time when I was small "a friend" asked the teacher, in front of the whole class, how to spell U.F.O.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:59:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While learning about the Russian Revolution in high school, my teacher had to spend five minutes explaining how to spell Vladimir Lenin's surname to a girl. This was followed by the girl's friend asking if Vladimir Lenin was related to John Lennon of the Beatles.
medusa440 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:04:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but an old boyfriend once asked me where the black market is...like, it's physical location..
michaelrohansmith ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:35:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend once asked me if computer viruses are made of the same stuff as viruses which infect humans. She's a doctor.
WizardofAud ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:05:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Miss, do animals at the zoo get paid?" - A 7th grader.
Thedragonking444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
World three, you have to bomb a few tiles to get in though, and be careful not to piss of the shopkeepers
Emerg3nC ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:07:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were going over new vocabulary words (like nostalgia, sorrowful, pathetically) when one of my 6th grade students said "are these all...real words?"
I had no words.
thefenixfamily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:17 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? 'Cause it seems you had at least 3.
_sleepypasta ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:07:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 10th grade history someone asked, completely serious, where on Earth the country of Euthanasia was.
early_morning_blow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:10:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might sound impossible but the same female student presented all these gems:
"If the Earth is round what is on the other side of the World map?"
"Why does all the cigarette smoke gather under the lamp?"
"How do you throw an atomic bomb without blowing yourself up?"
"HOW IS EARTH ROUND WHEN THERE ARE MOUNTAINS AND VALLEYS AND STUFF?"
EuropeanLady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The cigarette smoke question is interesting.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it doesn't gather under the lamp. A dim lamp will only reveal the smoke not blocked by the shade.
EuropeanLady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see. In movies, it always seem concentrated under lamps.
dreamtofalligators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The answer to that third one is, you don't.
Hennaissance ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:18:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked a teacher what would happen if you were to accidentally stick a tampon in the wrong hole.
I'm a guy, I was 12, and I knew nothing of the female anatomy.
Karmasmatik ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:48:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High School Spanish class (supposed to speak Spanish in class)
Student: "Miss, are we going to have a quiz this week?"
Teacher: "No se." (Spanish for I don't know)
Student (incredulous): "What?! Why won't you say?"
This student was a Mexican who claimed to be a native Spanish speaker. Apparently she just sucks at two languages...
Zoklett ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:32:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in a high school history - during a brief covering of the Holocaust - an African American girl insisted the teacher quantify whether it was "worse" than slavery. Like, at first she bemoaned the concept that the Holocaust could even be comparable (despite that no one was making the comparison but her). But, then when the can of worms got open and the teacher tried to explain to her that they were two entirely different things that had no relation to each other and that such genocides have actually happened throughout history to many different people, she just seemed to get confused and then she smacked her hands down on her desk and just insisted the teacher tell us which one was "worst". It was just entirely awkward. The teacher was standing there like 'I don't know how to explain to you that neither one was worse than the other because they were both terrible and entirely fucking different' and the girl didn't seem to be capable of comprehending the idea that the two incidences weren't related. She just had to KNOW which was "worse" so she could know what her judgement should be, I guess. Not sure how you quantify such a thing, though. One was an situation that lasted for hundreds of years where a race of people were enslaved, one was the systemic genocide of a race. There's no way to say which was worse there. That's like trying to compare the Armenian Genocide to The Rape Of Nanking. They are both horrible, but totally unrelated, and impossible to quantify in a "which was worse" kind of way.
isfturtle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:14:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait, so if they thought he was a great guy, why did they shoot him out of a cannon?"
-Classmate who wasn't familiar with the word "canonize"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:07:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught 7th, 10th and 11th grade social studies in North Hollywood, Ca. These are paraphrased, but entirely true.
"Why did people in the old days use phone booths? Why didn't they just use their cell phones?"
"Was the Gettysburg address Lincoln's email address?"
"Are leprechauns Jewish?"
"Who was the first black person?"
"Why did the Indians look so ratchet?"
"When are we going to learn about Game of Thrones?" -- asked by several students at different points in a history class after I had already explained that Game of Thrones is not set in our world.
just remembered a few others
"Were there skyscrapers in Manhattan when the Indians sold it?"
"What if Martin Luther was an alien?" -- asked by a 7th grader who would ask this same question of nearly every figure we studied.
"Why did Napoleon look so gay?"
One of my favorite weird moments was when the state sent us an essay question for all the students, one that would help determine how much funding the school could receive. I knew the question was too difficult for the students to understand. It asked what Isaac Newton might have meant when he said "If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants"?
I told the student to think about people who are "giants in their field" not literal giants. I asked them who might be considered a giant in music? Someone shouted out "Tupac!" I said who is a giant in sports? Someone else shouted "Lebron James!"
A few weeks later the principal showed me the class' responses to the question and nearly every single one wrote something like this: "Isaac Newton could see further than others because he was standing on the shoulders of Lebron James."
ryanaluz ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 14:51:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher and there really are no stupid questions from students, and if you read the responses you'll see that there are mostly just questions from genuinely curious kids who have really big gaps in their knowledge or understanding, which is not their fault but the fault of previous teachers, their parents, or something they've read or heard about only in passing and misunderstood. The only questions that frustrate me are the ones that are willfully ignorant or are asked as a joke and derail good discussions or by a student that ignored my long and detailed instructions asking me the exact question I just spent minutes answering, but when you're dealing with 12-14 year olds it comes with the territory and it's all entirely forgivable and I'm a teacher to help them learn how to be thoughtful humans.
Astilaroth ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:18:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like you.
aGeordie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:31:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats for being the one to say it, Jesus Christ this thread is depressing.
quantasmm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:08:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not quite all of them. a high schooler who thought Chinese people stand on their heads? Also, the kid who asked why we don't see the arctic when we look up? There are a few genuine Kevin stories here.
cardboardcrackaddict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boo. Boo Wendy Testaburger, boo.
GanjaBus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you don't teach much about run-on sentences?
ryanaluz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry that my writing style overshadowed my point for you.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:41:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Baron-of-bad-news ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One eyed obviously. Unless your wife is deaf.
Dadbod11 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:06:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade during sex ed a fellow student of mine asked "If I have a wet dream while walking down the street and a dog licks it up, will the dog get pregnant?" I've never heard a question since then be dumb on so many levels
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:43:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this over 12 times before I understood it.
I thought "the d" was your fancy word for dick. So I thought the kid was asking which side does the stick on the dick go, and I was truly puzzled.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some not-dyslexic kid asked...
flyspaghetticon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Context?
DabzonDabzonDabz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:58:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saxophone teacher here. Equal parts stupid and adorable, a 6th grader once asked me if it's called a Bari sax because you can fit a bear in it.
tydestra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:33:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before WWII, WWI was called the Great War. Any Pre WWII sources referred to it by this name.
Student: Why are these papers (right from the end of thr war) calling it the Great War and not WWI? Don't they know that's what we call it?
For the rest of the class, his friends just ragged on him hard.
saltyson32 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:43:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but had a classmate ask "why does the sun light up the earth but space is still black?" After trying to explain to her that there is nothing there to reflect light, she didn't believe me and said "earth must be flat". This was from a senior in highschool in a very good suburban school district...
thefenixfamily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:37 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, is this how it starts?
Xan_derous ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:20:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IN a College level Biology class, just as an after thought to a discussion,the professor asked, "Is water alive". The class collectively answered with responses like "hmmmm..." "maybe" "I don't know" and "yeah I think so". I was the only person in a class of 30 that said "No". What's worse is the professor didn't correct any of them.
Rockburgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, depending on where the water is and how long it's been there, there could potentially be enough organisms alive IN the water to consider the water itself as being possibly alive, I suppose.
TimPoundsCornish ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:00:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Not a teacher) In my 8th grade earth science class a girl asked if they made left-handed hammers. Also if rocks were alive. 9th grade, same girl, watching a documentary about nomadic reindeer herders in Russia. We get to a section where they explain how they put together make-shift fences to keep the reindeer together and how they sometimes have to chase down the ones who get out. Quietly from the back of class, "wait, but couldn't the reindeer just fly over the fence?"
She didn't believe in Santa of course, but did believe Santa's reindeer weren't magical and that all reindeer could fly.
michaelrohansmith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like elephants, their lift to drag ratio is appalling.
CumulodimbusCloud ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 7th grade sex ed class, a girl in my group raised her hand and asked, "Where is my cherry and does it just fall out after sex?"
Legend has it that she is still looking for cherry, even to this day.
BullBen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:43:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but had a classmate in college ask if he had to pass Accounting 101 to become an accountant. He is now selling cell phone plans.
bruceleeroy109 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:58:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to me, but one of my juniors asked another student "Do you know your name?" He needed to write the names of his group members. The class got a good laugh out of that one.
commiedad ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:02:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but we were watching a documentary on Shakespeare in my 10th grade etymology class. Some erudite Brit is analyzing poetry on the screen, and one of my classmates, with 100% genuine candor, says "is that Shakespeare?" He was one of those harmless little dumbass types, good to have around.
Entagagen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about the population of the Earth and so as an illustration I projected a satellite picture of the Earth (which happened to have the moon next to it).
Student: "Hey what's that thing next to the Earth floating around it?"
Me: "Uhh you mean the moon?"
Student: "Oh. How many people live there?"
strictlyprofessional ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:05:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were reading the prologue for Romeo and Juliet. One student poked his head up half way through and shouted "this sounds like the plot of Romeo and Juliet!"
Queue entire class laughing
sharksrfun ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:23:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too many to list honestly... And not all are questions. 1) While teaching 7th grade: Me- Who can give me an example of an extinct species? Student- Pilgrims? 2) While teaching 9th grade, I was holding my Ball Python and telling a story about the time she escaped from her tank. Student- Oh my gosh! Did you find her? 3) While teaching 9th grade: We were working on a study guide together and kids were exchanging papers. Someone wrote "my left nut sack" as an answer. We had a nice convo about how boys only have 1 nut sack even though there are 2 testicles in it. They were amazed.
killershwee ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:29:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching 10th grade world literature, last year I asked my students if they knew where Italy was. One of them replied, "isn't that where the Mexicans are from?"
Just today, I showed my seniors a news clip from one of Obama's press conferences last year. One girl looked up at the end, saw the back of Joe Biden's head as they were leaving the room, and goes, "eeeew is that the back of Donald Trump's head?!"
One of my habitual sleepers from last semester woke up in the middle of a lecture and asked, "Ms. Killershwee, do you want some noodles?" I responded with, "I'm in the middle of a lecture. No, I don't want any noodles." Still groggy, he goes, "oh you don't like noodles?" Then he went back to sleep.
Bonus, not a stupid question, but an off the wall comment. In the middle of a silent class during some independent work time, one girl blurts out, "Ms. Killershwee, when I die, surround my coffin with chicken nuggets."
ETA: The same habitual sleeper told me he wasn't any good at drawing when during a discussion I asked them to draw a conclusion about some background information I'd given them on a story we read.
UniversalFarrago ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your habitual sleeper was amazing.
killershwee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was definitely entertaining. He wasn't the best student, but I loved having him in class.
kittye237 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:18:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Miss, do these facts need to be true?" - while writing an essay. In the current political climate, I now realise that the stupid one was me.
kinetic-passion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:18:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Regardless of one's politics, this "alternative fact" nonsense is clearly having a detrimental effect on youth.
aisle5 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:22:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher friend of mine tells his students "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."
RezzoCH ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:25:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no such thing like a stupid question.
There are just stupid people who can't answer your question.
I tell this my cadetts every time they struggle to ask me a question.
chrisallenlane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my new favorite expression.
al57115 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:47:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend of mine is an English high school teacher. He tells me all the time that he grades essays that are written in TXT language. Kids complained about failing marks because they think it's the correct spelling of the word. ie. You are = UR
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a 2003 internet safety PSA
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eventually it might be.
hobbykitjr ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
after the teacher explained plants will grow towards sunlight
"where is the plants brain?"
this was high school, forget which year.
Hotlunch4011 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:14:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a pretty philosophical question.
applebeesplatters ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, there are many stupid questions. Such a high percentage of questions I get during class are stupid questions. Its just nicer to think people are unique and special. Here's one from just yesterday..
Kid looking up bong parts in class. I tell him to put away phone. I show him a map and he asks, "what's the blue part?". That would be the water....
oogmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:01:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, I'm pretty sure the blue part is the land, mother.
1911dude ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:32:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but ill mever forget answer to a geogrqphy question. The teacher asked a girl in our geography class that the channel tunnel was - she went on to describe how it was an underwater rail tunnel that ran from London to New york
Bear in mind This was the geography class for the most academically bright students - i got sent out of the class room because i couldnt stop laughing
BigDisk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That tunnel would be freaking awesome if it were real!
Astilaroth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oooh and you can see all the fishes swimming around when you look out of the window of your train! And there are stops in between with underwater restaurants .... awesome.
TangleF23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a little kid riding on the Lincoln Tunnel to NYC, I always wished that we could do that.
Newarkia ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:45:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 8th grade history class a girl asked with a completely straight face, "Who's Hitler?"
Supreme_Somari ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:42:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who shot Hitler.
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler's one redeeming quality.
Newarkia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not wrong
Bluestreaking ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:54:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was showing a map of a particular type of homicide in the United States a girl asks me to click on "The United States" I say this is a map of United States. She goes "no click on the United States, I want to see the United States." Then she gets up out of her seat and points at Kansas, where the label "United States of America" was.
goldmage263 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am Kansan. Can confirm. Almost nobody knows about us and our mysterious ways.
michaelrohansmith ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:40:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whats it like having to drive around those big letters?
goldmage263 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:02:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much the same as everywhere else in Kansas; you drive in a straight line for 50 miles until you reach your destination, or a tornado gets in the way. Even then it has to be a bad tornado before I take shelter by the second "A"
Rockburgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's just a matter of interpretation. I can definitely see her side.
Str8Faced000 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:18:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. I work at an unnamed coffee shop. We'll call it bar stucks. I have a few.
"Does the cold brew come iced?" "What's the difference between a hot mocha and an iced mocha? "Is bacon made of chicken?" "What does a pumpkin spice latte taste like? Like pumpkin?
"Is this mine?" "Did you order a chocolate croissant?" "No I ordered a croissant with chocolate."
smashervt ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:25:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is turkey bacon
PoopingATM ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:32:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you better make sure you take it out of the oven before you burn it.
gunabchaos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:30:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's chicken bacon too
random_reddit_stoner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's fake bacon
Str8Faced000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Fakon"
liberonscien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is not true bacon.
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut your whore mouth! That's not real bacon!
Str8Faced000 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:37:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This totally has relevance to my post.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:40:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, if someone asked me the hot vs. iced mocha question, I'd assume they were asking if there's a difference other than temperature.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is sort of a valid question though because pumpkin and "pumpkin spice" are completely unrelated. In reality it's made to taste like a combination of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and a few other spices, which people usually associate with pumpkin pie.
Str8Faced000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough, but the "like pumpkin?" made it stupid.
Rockburgh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:18:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perfectly valid question, IMO. "Iced" means "with ice cubes," doesn't it? You can totally have cold drinks without ice in them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was still in high school my dad and I went to Arby's to get dinner for the family. They had a deal for five roast beef and cheddar sandwiches for five dollars.
My dad: "Hi I'd like your five for five deal but just plain roast beef sandwiches instead of roast beef and cheddar."
Drive thru guy: "I'm sorry I can't do that."
My dad: "What?"
Drive thru guy: "But I can do five roast beef and cheddars with no cheddar if you want."
My dad: "Okay..."
Rockburgh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Likely a technical issue. He didn't really need to bring it up to the customer, but the system would have charged normal price if he put in five normals, requiring him to list the order as cheese - cheese.
MrRonny6 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it wrong that I have a picture of a blonde, white girl in my head?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:33:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 8th grade, a girl asked if outer space was real
buddy469 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:44:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but AP World History after covering the Gupta Empire for weeks.
"Where's India?"
nouniqueusernames765 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:58:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my mums class (high school teacher) asked why people make bread... She thought that loaves of bread grew on trees and that you could pick it
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:03:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
does the slope of a completely horizontal line change at any point?
axchen93 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:27:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I am a emt. My friend asked me what are the point of lungs if we breathe into our stomach?
ghostguide55 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:50:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was in the room when this was asked in class. I'm a bio major in college. This was a higher level bio course, suddenly a guy in my class asked the teacher how conception worked if the vagina was so short and the uterus was next to the stomach. The whole class stopped and looked at him including the professor. This guy a had gotten through all the basic bio classes, which include basic anatamy without ever learning that babies didn't actually grow in a woman's "tummy".
TLDR: Don't tell your kids that babies grow in a woman's tummy.
Furt77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you love your baby, why did you eat him?
cruel_ant ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:02:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were listening to Ozzy one day during a free period and one of my more brilliant kids says, "Mr. cruel_ant, didnt he bite the head off of a bird?"
Me: "Nope, it was a bat."
Student: "bat ... bird ... same thing"
M: "not quite bud"
S: "nah man, you're wrong. There's day birds, and night birds. Bats are just night birds"
He's a third year freshman. Not surprised
bs13690 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ozzy did bite the head off of a bird, though. Oh wait, it was a dove, not a bird.
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/artists/ozzy-osbourne/biography
doubleplusgoodful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"third year freshman"
What is?
Blue_Palasky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
consider yourself ahead...please stop
Triton_330 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, considering the bible calls bats birds: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus+11%3A13-19 ...
sacredblasphemies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:31:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that make it understandable? Perhaps. But it's still wrong. Bats are not birds. Being in the Bible doesn't make something correct.
Forkentiney ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:54:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's Obama's last name?"
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old was this kid and did they live in the US?
Forkentiney ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:00:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grade and in the US
michaelrohansmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Junior.
0hfuck ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Aren't there, like, 52 states?" High school senior.
Another senior asked if the sun had bones.
Matthew_BpBuds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The second one is better.
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok I thought there were 52 states until a few months ago but I don't live in the US
0hfuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose I should say she was born and raised in the US. I apologize!
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fine
Clbull ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:04:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Cod? Why'd they name a fish after Call of Duty?"
Rottenryebread ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:21:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school we were starting to read "To Kill a Mockingbird" --- the teach was telling us to go buy it or check it out at the lib. A girl asks the teacher outloud "how do you spell 'tequila'?"
Kalokogathia ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:03:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were having a random discussion about whales after a quiz ended in 11th grade English. One girl didn't believe the entire class and teacher that a sperm whale was a real thing. After a quick google search on her phone to see that indeed they are a real thing she just goes...
"Ohhhh is that why the ocean is so salty?"
Our teachers jaw dropped so fast, it was hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:22:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question, per se, but I was teaching English as a second language in Japan and a college student once asked, "Why do Jews control the media?"
I told her that we should really focus on the vocab and grammar for the day.
Edit: it wasn't a stupid question.
Furt77 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, what's the answer?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told her that I didn't know if Jews 'controlled' the media but it was possible that through generations of persecution, the Jews in general had a culture that favored oral traditions (aka story telling aka live entertaining) to written records and a culture that favored strict personal financial responsibility. It's possible that these two factors maybe made them particularly useful in the entertainment industry.
I also told her that the viewer controls the media by choosing what to and what not to watch.
For the record, I didn't say it that concisely. I write better than I speak.
ScarletNumbers ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fair question
Tysonzero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But they don't...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you. And I really liked that class so I didn't dismiss her.
I gave that class the homework of describing a dystopia. One student came back with, "Women are baby making machines and we kill them when they are 35".
I. Loved. That. Class.
Tim_Gilbert ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:51:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching grade 9 earth and space science unit. Was discussing constellations, as I was building up to the idea of constellations in 3d (they only look they way we see them because of our perspective) a girl asks me if they're real. I said yeah they're real, they're all out there! And she says, yeah I know they're out there, but did we put the stars there to make the pictures?
I guess it's not the dumbest thing ever but I was shocked to hear it.
Astilaroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be so interested in her reasoning ... the logistics of it all. How did you respond?
Tim_Gilbert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it took a lot for me to not laugh. I told her that we didn't put any stars anywhere, we're not capable of that, but throughout history people have looked up at (naturally occuring, haha) stars and seen shapes in them.
I don't really care when students ask really dumb questions because questions make teaching a lot easier. So in this case it was a pretty useful segue into the concept that the stars that form constellations are actually in 3-d, so the shapes we see would be vastly different if we looked at it from different perspectives. ie different points in space.
puttingmeoffanderson ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:04:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When in history did the world change from black and white to color?
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When Dorothy arrived in Oz.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just a few short years after the first talkies.
angry_scissoring ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:28:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad doesn't know what reddit is so I'll answer for him.
When he taught high school US History, he was teaching a lesson about the first battles o use guerilla warfare. One of the students raises her hand and asks "Mr. Scissoring, how did they teach all dem' gorillas to shoot guns?"
SteveHRRT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 19, i worked next to a man from Iran, he had a heavy accent but we could understand him perfectly, except once. He became an American citizen by joining the Air Force. He said his first assignment was in Africa fighting "Ga le lahs" Who were terrorizing the small villages and killing the people. I thought he meant the animals, since it was Africa, and my imagination went wild. I was so disappointed to find out it was just guerillas.
T3ach3rman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:34:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wasn't Obama born in Kenya?"
Fifth grader.
michaelrohansmith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am sure lots of Obamas are born in Kenya.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:45:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Note: in Minnesota, a loon is used to advertize the state lottery
mikerichh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:51:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do I equip goblin mail?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mikerichh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "Okay really?"
Rockburgh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's be real, we all asked this.
IShootWithThisHand ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:20:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is a teacher (we live in the US) and she was talking about the American Revolutionary War. One student interrupted and asked "did we win?"
senatorskeletor ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:22:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I have to share this story.
The first year in law school is always rough, and one way you get through it is by commiserating about the "gunners," the people who always raise their hand and always spout off their stupid interpretations of the case. And I want to relate my favorite example.
I'm in my admin law class as we're discussing some case, and someone raises her hand and says, among other things, "I don't think the Supreme Court really thought this case through."
Now, real quickly, that is stupid. You can and should criticize Supreme Court cases when you disagree with the conclusions, but they get reams of paper from the parties arguing their positions. Then they hold conferences on each case. Then they bring in the lawyers for oral argument on each case. Then one of the justices writes an opinion (drafted by a clerk), they argue some more, and it comes out. They may get it wrong, they may miss some angles... but they think the case through. Classic first-year-law-student arrogance. (And yes, this student went to an Ivy League undergrad.)
But it gets so much better. As she went on about why our friends at SCOTUS didn't think this case through, I thought to myself, "wait a second..."
See, our professor had clerked for Justice Antonin Scalia. (The professor is liberal, but to his credit, Scalia always hired a liberal as one of his four clerks to make sure he could defend his position.) The case was a Scalia opinion. The textbook said it was from 1998. I Googled the professor's bio. She clerked for him in 1998-1999. Then I looked up the case somewhere else and confirmed that it came out in late 1998.
Putting it all together, there is a 1 in 4 chance that this case, the one the student claimed that SCOTUS didn't think through, was more or less written by the professor, and a 100% chance that the professor spent a lot of time hashing it out with her fellow clerks and a Supreme Court justice. Not that the professor did this for other cases (though she did), but she did this for the exact same case the student was being so presumptuous about.
For the record, the professor reacted a lot better than I would have. "Hm," the professor said. "I'm pretty sure the Court thought this case through."
ctdewberry ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:50:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my teacher in middle school where in Europe was Middle Earth
Zyneck2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:51:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher or a student, but...
A couple of years ago, my brother and I were visiting our aunt, uncle, and 3 cousins (for context: 2 twins girls who were 20, and 1 17 year old boy). One evening, we brought out Cards Against Humanity for some friendly family fun. My brother rolled a C, and we all diligently wrote down our answers until the timer sounded. One of the categories was 'Things That Make You Scream,' or something to that effect. I wrote down 'clitoris.' After some laughter, one of my 20-year-old cousins asked, "What's a clitoris?" To which her twin responded immediately, "[Name], you HAVE a clitoris!"
InfinityLDog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you play Cards Against Humanity? Sounds like you were playing Scattegories to me.
Zyneck2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. Yes, we were indeed playing Scattegories.
InfinityLDog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:05:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I was confused.
But that could be a fun way to play, use a black card for the prompt and then try and think of an answer using the letter rolled
Fournote ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:55:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach at a military school for new recruits in the US. No, I'm not a drill sergeant, lol. I had a student ask my fellow instructor how to join MI6.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:56:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
reproduction means having irregular sex, ask any parent...
IDidgeridontCare ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:05:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a year 1 teacher and a boy literally put his hand up and asked "how do you spell 'a'". I might resign.
PiPsteer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:20:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: Let's imagine there exists a cubic planet...
Student: WHAT, WHERE?
RunChan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:11:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's Einstein's last name?"
atlamarksman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:13:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen someone ask the same thing about Obama.
mickeyvindi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate once asked why the sun doesn't shine as bright at night. Amidst mass confusion we worked out: She was talking about THE MOON.
LittleBlast5 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:10:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why didn't the humans go extinct with the meteor that killed the dinosaurs" Freshmen year Honors Biology class.
GuyWithTriangle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:13:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl several years ago asked how a warship could catch on fire if its on water when were talking about the war of 1812
Same girl asked weeks earlier if a segment of America: The Story of Us we had watched was real footage
russianrug ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:29:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a bit off topic, but I was a summer camp counselor some time ago and had a cabin of about fourteen 14 year olds. One of them was really dumb, a great kid and all but just not smart in any capacity.
Anyways since this was a summer camp everyone slept in these wooden cabins outfitted with bunk beds and electricity, no water, just lights. We had great cafeteria and shower and bathroom facilities, but separate from the cabins. The way we kept the cabins cool-ish on hot days was using some box fans in the windows, but you can imagine how well those work when the temperature outside is exactly the same as it is inside.
One day it was very hot, and we had just had several days of cool weather and this kid comes up to me and goes: "hey it's really hot, can you turn the AC back on?"
I stare at him for a few seconds to determine if he's joking, and when I realize that he isn't I tell him that obviously we don't have AC (these cabins had no drywall, just particle board walls and you could see all the studs and everything, so it's pretty obvious that there's no AC). I legitimately had to climb up on the rafters and show him how the fan worked before he believed me that there was indeed no AC in our cabin.
colby979 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:45:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was giving a test and I was scared they were going to do poorly on it so I wrote 3 specific steps on the board that they needed to follow in order to solve each problem. Not even one minute into the exam, a kid comes up to me complaining, "I don't get this!"
I asked, "did you do step 1?" "Yes." I asked, "did you do step 2?" "Yes." I asked, "did you do step 3?" "No."
"Maybe you should do step 3 then?" "Oh, ok."
MageMasterMoon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:59:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but someone in my Spanish class asked if Spanish people think in Spanish.
timetraveler1912 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do Spanish people actually think in Spanish?
sweadle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. And that's a fantastic question. Kudos for that student for thinking outside of the box of what it would be like to speak another language.
Dragn555 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:07:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in highschool, a girl asked my teacher seriously, "When you're drowning isn't that when you don't have enough water, and you drought when there's too much?"
The girl was 16.
meercater ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:07:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school senior girl in an advanced class goes, "Why would a rapist blow a whistle"?
JellySquirtGun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:09:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher here. After discussing the American Revolutionary War in reference to the Declaration of Independence, a student asked "So, who won the war?"
Note: This happened in an American High School. This student is aiming to attend the University of Notre Dame when he graduates.
Squirrelmob ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:10:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait, BC stands for Before Christ? I thought there wasn't anything before Jesus?"
Said student also fervently believed that Egypt was not in Africa, despite all my efforts to fix that misconception.
zhootki ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:17:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, this was a stupid answer. I was teaching English to a class of teenagers in a Russian suburb outside of Moscow. They had a listening called "Lost at Sea!" with a ton of nautical vocab.
So after the listening, I ask: "So what's a battleship?"
Blank stares until one girl (smart, bored, popular), raises her hand. "They're the big shits," she says.
I correct her mildly and hold it together to ask the next question: "OK, so what's a tugboat?"
Blank stares.
Finally, the same girl raises her hand, looking annoyed. "They're the little shits that push the big shits."
kikwi_elder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:47:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sent this post to my mom, a 2nd grade teacher, and said, "ok, let's hear it." She replied, "most of my kids aren't smart enough to ask stupid questions."
BradCirclepit ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:14:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I remember one question the best.
"Who is this guy we are talking about?" "What do you mean?" "This guy who is called Bill." "Bill???" "Yeah, Tscherno Bill"
eliar91 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:50:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about WWI and trench warfare in grade 11. Dumb girl in class puts up her hand and asks why the country of No Man's Land was between the two sides. Teacher had to take a second to compose himself.
directpoet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:38:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now kids, another phobia: Arachnophobia.
"Miss, is that a fear of Iraq?"
hyacinths_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:00:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Does the president of the United States have power in Ohio?" This kid was completely serious.
My class of immature 8th graders were even stunned silent.
wzl46 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:22:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No stupid questions. Plenty of inquisitive idiots.
Moni_Reads ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:03:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but the funniest exchange I ever witnessed:
Girl named Estefania wearing a sweater with a big letter E on it. Boy: What's the E for?? Estupid?!
pablossjui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This works in Spanish, the word for it is Estupido/Estupida
Moni_Reads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:23 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I know; I'm a fluent Spanish speaker, and my students were as well. I still thought it was funny :)
whistleridge ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:43:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid per se, but I had someone ask in all seriousness if he had to take sex ed, since he had always been a beta, was always going to be a beta, and all learning about vagina and boobs would do is get him excited about something he was never going to have anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So cute.
holybird007 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:18:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my mom teaches 4th grade. One day in class, one of her kids asked "Mrs. ........., why are we in 4th grade now?" And she responded "well, because you need to go to school to get the skills you'll need for later in life." And the kid responds "I know that, but why are we in 4th grade? I just got out of 3rd grade, but 3 is bigger than 4, so why are we going backwards?" I died the night that she told me about it ๐๐
qwerty12qwerty ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:57:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory Kevin:
It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?
I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.
I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.
So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:
Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.
Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice
Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.
Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.
Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.
Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)
Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.
Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.
Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin
Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.
stuckit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:14:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin and his family should be the subject of the most infuriating sit-com ever.
SeanAlberto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:50 on May 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Copy-pasted from another subreddit
Prokletnost ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:41:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took my nephew once to church, he walked up to the priest and asked, "are you God?" it was amazing
MLynch8 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:53:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only have one stupid question, and it's if a student asks the exact same question the student before them did. They're usually trying to sneak looks at their phones...
Not even for complicated questions,
"How do you spell "*******?" "Oh!? Jenny just asked that, you friggin robot, that's why we spelled it out on the board (it's still there, see it?) and I circled it on your paper in red pen!"
How do I reaach deez keedz?
mesoziocera ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:34:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was in a team-taught senior level immunology class in college. If you've never taken a team-taught class, usually one professor administrates, and then 3 - 10 professors lecture on different topics during the semester. This really timid looking instructor was lecturing about first level immunity. Things like tears containing lysozyme. Then the instructor talks about how semen is only 1% sperm and the rest is Zinc and other chemicals. This really ghetto girl blurts out, "Is that why it tastes kinda fishy?"...
There wasn't any laughter for a good 30 seconds, there was just pure silence. You could have heard a fucking pin drop. There were 350 people in this room, and the tension in the room was almost electric. The instructor basically turtled into her uncircumsized sweater and then someone started laughing. After a few seconds, the whole room got a quick laugh in and we continued on. That instructor never came back for her next two lectures and another one subbed in for her.
Laue ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:31:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a female second year CS student asked what a loop is. You know, the very basics we passed a fucking year ago. And that she passed somehow.
Rockburgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student, I taught one of my classmates how to write a For loop in Java. All of our generic programming classes, including three of the prerequisites for the course we had together that semester, were in Java. We were in our third year.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:38:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
h_lance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually sounds like a good class for the student. Learning actual chemistry and how to critically evaluate scientific claims is good for everyone. Organic chem is a challenging class, though. Students should be prepared for hard work.
There are a number of arguments in favor of consuming foods that meet USDA standards to be labeled organic when possible. Health benefits to the consumer are unclear, certainly. Agricultural workers do benefit though (health risks of working with high concentrations of agricultural chemicals are fairly established), and there are environmental advantages. The system of labeling foods "organic" isn't perfect, it isn't "necessary" to eat only organic foods, and yields are lower, but it is not irrational to at least sometimes choose organic products.
In my experience the people who will deny science rigidly no matter what you teach them are right wingers who deny things like evolution or climate change.
EDIT https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/ahs-fact-sheet If you study "farmers" - owner/operators of farm property - that is an affluent population, overall healthy, but with some different cancer patterns. Migrant farm workers have similar cancer patterns to farmers, but may not enjoy the health benefits of being an affluent farmer (although their active jobs probably provide some protection against cardiovascular disease) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19437276
NOTE - Not saying it's a big deal to eat or not eat organic foods, but it isn't the stupidest thing in the world to say you do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
h_lance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Although that is somewhat comical, there are, of course, numerous courses like the one she was looking for, at technical and agricultural colleges.
PaulbunyanIND ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:42:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had just finished lecturing not 24 hours before about how the only stupid questions was the one that proved you hadn't thought first... And then I saw an ambulance pull up. In my loud teacher voice I really ask if I need to get involved or not but my words were ,"Is everything alright here?" and one of the supervisors of my program says, "Well obviously not..." I felt very dumb.
vape_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based off that story you should record your lectures and play them back for yourself.
PaulbunyanIND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My god, that would induce suicide!
turkeytowel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When we were discussing organ transplants, a girl we secretly called Tumbleweave asked, "Do ghosts see?" This is the same genius who asked if it meant I had to drive home backwards, since I drove north to get to work, but I travel south to get home. 12 years old.
turkeytowel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently she was afraid that if she donated her eyes when she died, then she wouldn't be able to see when she returned as a ghost.
matt13jones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a student ask why whales don't throw the harpoons back.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Piercing is highly regarded in cetacean communities.
TheSubtleSaiyan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:59:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ctrl + f
"kevin"
camishayyy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:27:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was dared once to ask our old grumpy history teacher what a gangbang was. I was 14 at the time
lmg1229 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And...we have a winner!
shadygon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:47:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EMT class. Student: if someone has a major head bleed... can I like... tourniquet the neck?
vape_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, if your goal is to stop the bleeding by fucking strangulation and you aren't worried about making sure the patient lives
RazzSheri ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had another TEACHER ask me recently if Right/Left hand is opposite for boys or if it's the same for both boys and girls.
djsedna ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:48:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got "are millimeters and centimeters the same thing?" last week. From a college student.
skinnerwatson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time a 10th grader asked me if you could see the latitude and longitude lines on the earth if you went up in a plane. He was serious.
CTHackel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:57:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I was in a class in a community college and the teacher asked if we knew why USA joined the Korean War. A girl sitting across the room yells out because of Pearl Harbor.
michaelrohansmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose it could be argued that without Perl Harbor, the USA would not have been involved in Korea.
Young-_-Lotus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:00:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school my Biology teacher showed us a picture of a cross dominated chicken. We gasped at the black and white chicken! Someone says "no way that doesn't exist!" and she says "remember, just because you haven't seen something doesn't mean it doesn't exist"
To which I replied "Like Dragons?!"
She shook her head and said "yes, like dragons."
Shukie_bunfox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a Teacher BUT, a girl in our class asked:
"What? you mean you cant drive from NH, to Hawaii?"
She was going on vacation to hawaii and thought her family were driving the whole way there, and that hawaii was somehow connected to the continental US with a bridge or something? she did'nt realise you have to fly or boat.
rachh90 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:02:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a girl in class asked if a movie we watched about Julius Caesar was real footage
khockey382 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:04:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were looking at a textbook in my bio class of a whale swimming downwards and a classmate asked, "Why is that whale drowning itself"?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gotta nuke somethin'...
Telemachus70 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grader in my sciance class.
"Yeah, but rocks are alive...right?"
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
was he religious?
Luke 19:40
Telemachus70 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buahaha. Yeah, christian school. Never noticed that before.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:17:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend in high school, who is one of the smartest people I know, who ended up being our valedictorian, had two amazing questions that we still give him shit for.
Before and exam in AP Chemistry he raised his hand and asked "is this test going to require knowledge?" I wasn't in the class, but in pretty sure the teacher just rolled his eyes at him.
Another one was the first day in AP Biology. For some reason, he was arguing with me about cells and atoms. He asked our teacher "is a cell a living thing?" (I think he got cells and atoms mixed up). The teacher said to him "are you serious?"
Kanotari ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:38:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach music. Every year, there's a kid who's late to the concert. Every single damn time, then they get an embarrassing C in band. So every year, I tell them what time they need to show up about ten times, I write it on the board, I put it on our website, I put it on our calendar. I even send them those 90s-esque emails with flashing, moving text.
So after a long winded speech of when we needed to be at the concert, what we needed to wear, and what we needed to bring, Evan raises his hand. "What time should we be there tonight?"
I simply roll my eyes and point at the board. The girl who sits next to Evan lets out this theatrical sigh, but Evan's hand goes up again.
"Can I wear this?" He's wearing jeans and a grungy t-shirt. I sigh and point at the board, where I've written the dress code.
"Do I need to bring my clarinet?" No, Evan. I expect you to show up and beatbox your parts. I didn't even justify that with a response.
"Do... do I need to like, be at this concert?" Well, I suppose if he didn't mind failing band, then no.
And no, Evan wasn't trolling or in special education; he was just an idiot. A truly impressive idiot. He did manage to show up at the concert, but he forgot his music because I forgot to write it on the board. Shockingly, he graduated. I'm still in awe.
No_Farting_Monster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:41:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's called Henry the fifth, I couldn't find his surname, just that it starts with a V. - 17 year old.
dausy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:47:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In nursing school, one of my fellow students asked our clinical preceptor "how does the umbilical cord attach to the moms belly button if the baby is inside the moms uterus? wouldnt the walls of the uterus get in the way?"
she thought the umbilical cord was connected from the moms belly button to the babies belly button.
BootnCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but we were having a debate in history class about whether the Electoral College should abolished or not and one kid was talking about how the United States is defined as a democracy and another kid looks at him and says how can we be a democratic nation if we have a Republican president taking office tomorrow? It's safe to say his team lost the debate.
mathwin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:36:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was a TA in my computer science program, I was tasked with helping other people with their resumes, papers, etc. So these aren't really questions that I've been asked so much as really, really awful writing.
One guy handed me his resume to edit. It immediately stood out to me that he'd added a title to it. Like, it says "Resume" at the top, then his contact info, name and such, and then there's a title before it goes into the objective statement (like a miniature cover letter). I swear to god, this cretin wrote "A spark of imagination" as the title of his resume, before launching into an objective statement about how he's the second coming. I circled it, with the note "What the fuck is this shit?!" and made sure that he and everyone else knew that it was absolutely not acceptable to title your resume anything other than "resume". He ended up getting expelled for being a complete moron, a couple years later.
I had a guy ask me to help him with a paper he was writing on cryptography, so I had him send me a draft. It was not only not complete, but it made absolutely no sense. I've still got some of it, which I use as an example of how not to write for anyone else who needs lessons. Here's my favorite sentence: "The following paragraph will give a high-level overview of each scheme stating what it does and whether or not of the possibility of it being effected by the concerned in the mathematical advancement in solving the discrete logarithm problem." I actually don't know if he ended up doing well on it or not; he never told me the outcome.
I also have a number of really dumb things that students have submitted to me in their code, or written on tests. In one of my classes, I gave a non-graded test every week to try to keep track of what the students were and weren't learning. The twist was that any question that a majority got wrong the week before was repeated on the next test. I had more than one question that I had to ask three times before enough people could solve it.
starscalla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:04:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 year old: "What's lemon?" WHAT IS LEMON.
Millarman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:30:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a high school music teacher. My favorite stupid question - this is for real - "Wait, do people from other countries think in a different language?"
blackjack55 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:31:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I have several dumb questions I have heard over the years. One of the more notable ones when was in high school when learning about Vietnam War I had a classmate ask if Vietnam and Africa were the same place. Then in a different history class covering the Chernobyl disaster I had another class mate ask what radiation was and why was it bad for you. High school strange times very strange times indeed
wonton_burrito_field ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading "One Fish Two Fish" to second graders. Kid raises his hand, "Mr. my name when did God die?" I just sat there for a second. 4th day of teaching.
UniversalFarrago ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:20:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid was asking the big questions
Laura3orealis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:05:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach high school English. After watching the older version of To Kill a Mockingbird, one of my sophomores raised her hands and asked "Wait, so was everything back then in black and white?"
I asked for clarification. Yes, she was wondering if our world was somehow in black and white. She's also one of my better writers and a total sweetheart, but...what?
Smokey_McNoggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Especially from one of the better writers. Blows my mind.
Sure hope you told her it actually was in black and white.
Deathrisk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:08:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in college once a teacher asked the class "Why are bodies buried 6 feet under" and it clicked in my brain and it was like the greatest epiphany ever as i yelled "ZOMBIES!!!!". I didn't even catch why they were laughing for a minute.
xVoidzy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:17:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my 7th grade class when we were going over Fahrenheit 451, this happened:
Teacher: "So why do you think they were burning the books?"
Student: -Shoots up hand- "Did they burn the books because they wanted to save trees?"
7th grader..
Natloumac1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:12:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Music teacher here. I was going over diction/enunciation with a group of high schoolers:
Me: Okay, we all know what vowels are, right? Students: general sounds of affirmation Me: Okay, great. Now, do we all know what consonants are? Student: You mean like Africa?
Congratulations American education system! You've failed.
redditguy58 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:39:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in 7th grade, we were reading Shane. One of the kids raised his hand and asked why Shane was getting his haircut all the time. We were all confused, and my teacher responded that Shane never got his haircut in the novel. Defiantly, the kid pointed out where in the book Shane went into the saloon.
...He thought it was a salon.
AlteregoCate59 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:47:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Showed Walking With Dinosaurs. Sophomore asked if it was actual footage. Showed video of US Revolutionary War. Same question. I shake my head a lot...
LivingLosDream ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:05:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While watching Apollo 13, I had a student ask me,
"Are all those guys named Houston?"
It is the dumbest question I have heard to this date. 8 h are in.
DoctorZMC ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:43:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow med student pointed at a structure in a cadaver and asked "Is this a typical size for a prostate?" the professor assisting replied "hmm, thats an interesting question... what is that structure above where your pointing?" to which the student replied "The uterus? what about it?"
SpawnicusRex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:52:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like I got here a bit late but here we go: I'm in high school Spanish class and one of those know it all types, ya know, the ones who like to claim they are fluent and try to speak Spanish to people who actually speak Spanish and just butcher it? Yeah, one of them, she asked the teacher "Is Cinco de Mayo always on the fifth of May"?
17 year old me was screaming inside my head "You dumb bitch, it LITERALLY MEANS fifth of May"!!
Frapplo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watching a film about early man. Student asks: "Did they use real cavemen for this?"
RachelAS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:34:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grade history, talking about the Navajo codetalkers of WWII: "Why didn't the Japanese just use their OWN Navajo?"
Poe414141 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:53:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While reading Maximum Ride to my 8th graders, one of them asked if it was based on a true story.
dinosaucy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:02:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 9th grade student put her hand up in the middle of a computer science lesson to ask: "Are teachers allowed to hit students?"
Keep interrupting my class with unrelated questions and we might find out.
(I kept her after class to get a full understanding of what prompted the question. She was trying to stir up drama and there was no safety concern.)
kaliforniakustom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:25:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but was in Biology lecture when a student asked the professor if he just said that "sloths evolved from avocados". The expression was priceless and the entire 300 person class erupted in laughter. Woof.
KINGKONinG ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:43:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my History class once asked my friend who was wearing a Pantera shirt if "that was the planet where the people in Avatar lived".
Same girl also got genuinely upset when we tried to tell her that if you see a black person in Africa you wouldn't call them African-American
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:50:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spell "euthanaisa"...... youth in aisa. The whole class started laughing
LilithDragon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:04:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My classmate got into a ten minute conversation on how to spell tv. He asked, the teacher said "tv", he said "right but how do you spell that". It took him way to long to figure it out.
spaceminions ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:13 on February 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like nobody wanted to spell t-e-l-e-v-i-s-i-o-n but him?
ccarlo42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:20:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is gonna get buried, but right after announcing that there are no stupid questions I was talking about mammals and a student asked "What's a mammal?" A master's student. FML
Eneryi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I'm late as hell and I was also a classmate not the teacher but I just remembered this:
We were young german students, learning about Nazis, jews and the Holocaust. When we did a test, one of the questions was "What's the greatest holyday of jews?" And my friend, not knowing the answer wrote down "the Holocaust"...... We weren't far into the topic and he switcherood some words in his mind but daaamn
Our teacher wasn't pleased to say the least
NaveHarder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There really are no stupid questions, especially when students are learning a second language. On an open-book exam about how to properly format papers in APA, a student asked, after a month of instruction, "Which page do I find the 'how to format in APA' manual?"
It's the only book you're allowed ya big dum dum.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:50:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, I come to class every single day. How could I possibly not be passing your class?"
"Johnny I agree, you do come to class every day and you are a nice kid who causes me no problems. Unfortunately, you have never completed a single assignment, or homework and have not submitted any of the projects that make up the summative evaluation."
"Ya, but I'm here everyday though."
TL:DR In life, often just showing up alone is NOT enough.
witeduins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:37:16 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Ok, and add .html on the end of the file." Student, serious question: "How do you spell HTML?"
I teach college web design classes.
CheeseDogs4Breakfast ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:51:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my 8th grade science class this girl asks the teacher why we haven't traveled to the sun. The whole class laughs and she responds by saying "Listen, I'm not dumb, I know it's too hot to go during the day, I'm asking why we don't go at night."
The teacher left the room.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Astilaroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well?
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A cat's penis is internal.
Astilaroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but when they wash themselves it pops out. Don't have a male cat I assume?
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two of them and I've never seen that happen. They are neutered, so would lack of testosterone account for that, or have I just not been paying enough attention?
Astilaroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No clue. I have mine for 9 years and only saw it twice I think. Little red pinky thingy. I'm soooo not Googling that either so you're on your own mate.
WAR_TROPHIES ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:12:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a professor but in my physics class one week before the final exam a girl raises her hand and asks, "What does the variable g stand for?" The professor looks at her and tells her she should see him after class to discuss her options for retaking the class.
crumpizzled ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But a kid in my class asked why we were celebrating Milk. It was MLK day...
zephyrzenizzle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:21:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but, the annoying girl (the one who asked things like, don't we have homework due?) in my English class senior year of high school verbatim: "Do we use paper for this assignment?" ...wtf... it was an in class assignment/essay and we did not have a computer in the room.... How she's made it through life I have no idea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always found that those kind of people asked those sorts of questions for the attention.
zephyrzenizzle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could concur with that, she was the homecoming queen after all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha shocker, so glad I got out of education when I did, couldn't put up with 17-18 year olds acting like 4 year olds.
The-Legend-26 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but during a lesson about astronomy in highschool, our teacher show us pitures of gas clouds, galaxys and starclusters made by the Hubble space telescope. One of my classmates asked: Did we go to all this places with rockets?
musicmorph99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but I remember in 7th or 8th grade geography class, I have two specific memories of students asking the following about US geography:
"Where's California?"
and (not really a question, but)
"I thought Wisconsin was on the West Coast. Where is it?"
QTVenusaur91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:34:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"what continent is south Africa on?"
mleroy1986 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:35:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you put a baby in a hoover, would you still hear it cry?
Are mountains made by humans?
Whereโs France? Is it in Spain? Cause Iโm going to America and thatโs in France.
Sir, do you think nuns are going extinct?
Furt77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, nuns don't usually reproduce, so maybe?
MellowBuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but had a classmate in a Physics class ask why after pushing down on a desk it doesn't float up to the ceiling... he dropped out that semester.
onecoldasshonky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a kid in my class in 5th grade asked "if there are no buffalo, then how are there buffalo wings?"
layoutlayout ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a freshman, whom I had for English, ask me which war Abraham Lincoln was the President during, World War 1 or the Vietnam War.
This same student, later in the year, ask me where California is. When I told her it was near the Pacific Ocean, she said "Oh, so near Texas then?"
ameliapondlives ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:53:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in college, on the first day of a World War 2 class, my classmate asked "So, did the Germans win?" Yes, she was serious.
Otter_with_a_helmet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After teaching a remedial high school math class how to factor, I asked if there were any questions.
"Ms J, don't marijuana grow on trees?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:56:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last one died in the Battle of Helm's Deep
jackaphee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:03:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in middle school a girl asked if Labor Day was the day everybody gave birth.
createsure ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do rabbits lay eggs? Are trees alive? Is an A or A- better? People eat cows?!" from 14 year old students.
WillKay10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow chemistry classmate once asked if absolute zero occurs naturally anywhere. I thought that's a fair question. Space is pretty cold. After the teacher explained that no it doesn't, the student turned to her friend and said "Oh. I thought it'd be in Alaska or something"
pitchindpp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair Alaska is pretty cold.
fvrick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here but in Environmental Science we were talking about biotic vs abiotic (living vs nonliving) and some kid legitimately asked if rocks were a living thing. About a month later he tries telling the teacher that he could survive a tsunami by wearing a life jacket and diving under the water. I have multiple classes with this kid. I could go on and on.
JustARedditUser0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We want more stories!
BloodThirstyChimera ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do go on.
wartswafflesnwalter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach high school history. One time, a student of mine was looking at a globe I had in my classroom, and she confusingly asked me, in front of everyone else, "how, when people leave Earth, or a planet..., how do they, ya know, break through the rocks?"
I asked, "What rocks?"
And she began tapping on surface of the globe with her knuckles, and replied "the rocks."
The whole class went nuts as they realized that this student believed that we live at the center of the Earth, and that planets are covered in a thick candy-like rock shell that we must bust out of whenever we send a rocket into space. I don't think she understood the concept of atmosphere.
sacredblasphemies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you show her on Google Earth by zooming all the way out from where you are to the widest view possible?
wartswafflesnwalter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:41:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that story is 10 years old now, and she's probably 26 years old. If she hasn't figured it out yet then there's probably nothing I can do now. Lol
thegapinglotus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a skeletal anthropology class a student once asked me if men really had one less rib than women.
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, god really took the Baculum for that, which is why humans don't have it but their evolutionary cousins like chimps do
...ok, this conflation of biology and christian teachings would probably be too confusing
thegapinglotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! That would have been an excellent answer. Although it would have gone right over that kid's head.
nicholasalexander ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about volcanic islands forming in the ocean. "WAIT... Mountains of water?!"
Chaniatreides95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"are penguins real? I thought they were just in movies..."
MisfitPotatoReborn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: a lot of people thinking a question is stupid because you're "just supposed to know"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can black people and Asian people mix? I thought only black and white?"
"Did you know black people could speak French? There was one in my last class! A new kid!"
"Ms, how do I seduce this?" (He meant reduce, reduce a fraction.)
coffeelover96 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in AP history in 11th grade and we were invited to hear a holocaust survivor speak to the 8th grade class, since they had just read Diary of Young Girl. This man was from Belgium and outlined his path throughout various labor camps. He then took questions and one of the 8th grade girls raised her hand and seriously asked, "Did you know Anne Frank?"
My class mates and I struggled not to laugh at her, but the man was very kind to her and just said no and described why the chances would be slim. Very, very nice man.
RubusPhoenicolasius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kid you not. Once had a student in a PSY 100 class ask me how Sigmund Freud got involved with tigers and when we'll get around to talking about it. Yep... for some reason he thought the class discussion was about Siegfried and Roy.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LotharHex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends if you gave it a Thunder Stone or not.
doubleplusgoodful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Depends if you have enough candy."
PippaEse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:02:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How come the world used to be in black and white?
Antonio430 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At what altitude do deer turn into elk? True story can't make that dumbness up. Crazy thing is he knew what the word altitude meant.
SweetyTart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a class in college full of nursing students and medical students. After a basic anatomy lecture a student asked if females pee out of vaginal opening. She thought there were only two holes.
acostel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:00:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got asked by a student in my first year: "Sir, you know that stage when you're a teenager and, when you're older, and want to be a pornstar, do you ever grow out of it?" I answered "no".
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you don't know, or no, you never grow out of it?
jakeecio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked my science teacher. Did we go to mercury planet to get mercury ?
CeterumCenseo85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During 10th grade art class, showing a picture of the Mona Lisa:
"WOAH! Is that the real one?!?"
Laughter
"No, it's a copy."
"They did have copy machines back then?!?!?"
fanconjecture ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a 9th grade class* (kids are from 13-15), when a girl asked, "Why do Alaska and Hawaii have such different weather when they're so close to each other on the map?"
yournotmysuitcase ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was teaching an 8th grade science class, we were discussing the solar system. One student in particular had a puzzled look on his/her face for most of the class. After class they lagged behind, and when it was just the two of us left they finally felt comfortable enough to ask me what the difference was between a sun, a star, and a planet.
I don't like to think of this as a 'stupid' question (although, I suppose some people could classify it that way). Rather, I think about it as an exercise for me as an educator to always remember not to assume prior knowledge on the part of the students. Very eye opening experience for me.
JustAnAverageJae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:24:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I think it was one of my more stupid comments--
In my AP physics class we were learning optics, light, and stuff like that. And I had the realization that everything we perceive is due to light bouncing off and back into our eyes. So I asked, what if there was no light? And my teacher gave a confused look and said we wouldn't be able to see.
GhostPepperEater ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:26:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interrupted in the middle of a week 5 biology lecture to about 200 community college students by student who wanted to know, "when you want me to get my book by"
jrogowy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once when I was teaching the anatomy of the human eye, I explained how light enters the eye and is flipped upside down; our brain then rotates the image to appear correct. A student was visibly upset by my explanation and said "That's stupid, then we are all sitting on the ceiling right now". I explained that only the light entering the eye is flipped but the brain corrects it to appear normal. He got really mad and started screaming that I didn't understand how gravity worked and that I shouldn't be a teacher and stormed out of the room. The students and I just looked at each other with puzzled looks on our face for a bit afterwards. LOL
heellllllln ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:44:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a girl in my grade once insisted that Oklahoma was a city in Texas because when she drove to Oklahoma with her family she didn't see the ground change color like on the maps.
A year later I was at this girls house for the night. When she got out of the shower she started panicking and frantically fanning the ceiling with a magazine. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I don't want the smoke from my shower to set off the fire alarm".. I had never laughed so hard in my life.
michaelrohansmith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mists of water can set off some types of smoke alarm.
koastiebratt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate had asked the teacher, "wait, isn't Kansas a made up state?"
Teacher: "no?"
Student:" but it was in the wizard of Oz"
Yes this student smoked alot of drugs.
shadygon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a kid ask if the confederacy won the American civil war. This was an 11th grade history class.
LaBwork_IA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:09:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do meteors always land in craters?
MrSlice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I vividly remember a 16 year old student asking this:
Student: "Wait what?! Is it true that the moon isn't made of cheese?!"
Hydrocoded ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:24:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a self-defense course for college students. This course involved the basic handling of firearms; Pistols, Rifles, and Shotguns. It was a 3-part, 9 hour (total) course that would give, in addition to basic safety knowledge and marksmanship training, a certification that would allow the individual to apply for a concealed carry permit.
Anyways, we're doing the part about rifles and we have a slideshow going. A slide flashes on with an AK equipped with a bayonet. I had one guy ask what the bayonet was for. This is a legitimate question as bayonets are goddamn useless in most modern combat but what followed was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in any class:
Student A: "What is the bayonet for? Can't you just shoot the guy?" Student B: "It's for when they run out of ammo. They shove the bayonet in there and shoot it at the bad guys."
... I had to explain why he was wrong for 20 minutes. This ended up with me taking apart two different rifles and two different cartridges to explain powder, primers, etc. In the end I think he was just too proud to admit his mistake.
He never finished the course.
Islanduniverse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:24:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question asked, but I had a student write on a quiz that the main character in Do Androids Dream of Electric sheep was a robot sheep farmer... it was a valiant try.
AlMoatez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a college girl in the US once asked me if we had cars in the Middle East, she actually thought we commuted on camels, that question was followed by a series of other questions including "do you guys have toilets like us, or you just do your business in nature?"
ChemBDA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is there isn't any stupid question. Reading through all the example given here just strengthened my resolve. We call questions stupid when we feel they should have known the answer already. But the only stupid thing would be not asking the question; Not trying to learn.
P.s. If you care, I teach chemistry/science in general from elementary through college.
Spacemarine658 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed ignorant would fit these better stupid is ignoring you don't know and acting like you do
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:32:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but during my freshman year of high school someone in my biology class asked if a chicken is a mammal.
Vault420Overseer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:57:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in 7th grade science class one girl asked if it snowed on the other side of the sun, the look on my teachers face was amazing... that's still the dumbest question I've ever heard in my whole life
mariamoonacre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:58:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I had a classmate (who somehow went on to become valedictorian) in my highschool AP Biology class who asked, "If the earth spun the other way would we all be midgets?" This was after my teacher went on about "we," meaning the earth, are not perfectly round because of the way the earth spins on its axis. My classmate thought he meant "we," as in, people were not perfectly round because of the earth's rotation.
MictlanTeaParty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one of my classmates denied the existence of the Panama Canal, INSISTING that North and South America were totally connected. I said "Whaaaat?" Looked at the teacher and she gave me a nod. Clearly didn't want to deal with it.
DonDoby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 18 year old daughter asked me during the winter " Are their any birds still left in Georgia or are they already in South America?"
TheLambdaMachine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:02:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I had a classmate in 8th grade that forgot how gravity worked for a moment and asked me, very deadpan, 'hey, if Brazil is in the bottom of the planet why do Brazillians don't fall off?' (Yes, I remember clearly she specifically said Brazillians, not just 'the south'). When she saw my amused yet confused face, she remembered gravity exists and started laughing her ass off at her own stupid question.
angryblonde313 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me if Christopher Columbus was real or if he "was more like Jesus".
FullMetalSquirrel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to become a virgin again.
Really.
musicmoth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canadian, my social studies teacher in high school said when he retires he will publish a book of the stupidest things his students have said. Two I was there for I love:
After talking about parliment in Ottawa(our capitol) "wait, Ottowa isn't a country?"
Teachers brother was a lawyer who just made partner "you sound really happy for him but isn't he going to miss being a lawyer?'"
Spazmer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:32:41 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, I read on reddit about a Canadian that couldn't spell Ottawa (our capitol) correctly.
ShisaDog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but here in TN in an American Government class, an adult asked if the president could be his own vice president and if not, why not?
maxhatter1313 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not an instructor but, in high school biology I remember a friend of mine ask what made cheese red...turns out she had been eating the wax coating for years without realizing you had to peel it off first.
NastyGuRoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High School history teacher here, the amount of stupid questions/answers is incalculable, but here's one I got about two hours ago:
"So would Hitler like, travel to America and collect all the Jews there and bring them back to kill?"
-__-
GarconYT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:10:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate in my 9th grade geography class asked if Europe was somewhere in Paris.
maxpower666 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:12:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just last week a 7th grade student asked me, "wait, is Europe in Africa?" We we're talking about Harry Potter.
EggFried94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:10:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my first year of secondary school in England a fellow pupil asked the question, "if the Norman's invaded England in 1066 and there has been no invasions since, why are not speaking Normish?"
robotnudist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was TAing a university course in statistics, and during office hours I was helping a student with the axes of a graph and my office mate cracked up when I had to explain "no, horizontal goes this way *moves finger back and forth*".
bradeo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:14:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Axis
robotnudist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-plural-of-axis
Empty_Allocution ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:13:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an IT guy.
We had a kid ask if there were any "left handed Ipads".
vendredi3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a dumb question, that's a brilliant marketing scheme!
RetroNin2500 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but... "If I lose both my testicles, does that make me gay?"
thechosenone1021 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my girlfriends brother once asked me why buffalo wings were so small if buffalos were so big. He was about 14 at the time.
sagetrees ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, why the fuck do they even call them buffalo wings in the first place, what are you meant to think?! something like 'well its called a buffalo so I guess it must be made from.......whos gonna come up with chicken from just the name? I think thats a reasonable question seeing as very few kids have ever seen a buffalo in person.
thechosenone1021 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you were one of those kids who thought buffalo wings came from buffalos
sagetrees ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I realised buffalo didn't have wings but was still confused by the naming convention.
PTKtm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 7th grade in FLE, there was this one short kid with glasses that was a real big introvert, never said a thing to anyone. We were discussing the female anatomy when he just blurted out "So which boob is the vagina?" The whole class busted out laughing, and he didn't come to school for the rest of the week, saying he was sick but nobody believed it.
AryaLastrange ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:24:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was about 11 years old during a lesson about The Beatles a fellow class mate raised his hand and asked our teacher 'sir what colour is the yellow submarine?' Then cried when the whole class (teacher included) burst out laughing for a solid 5 minutes.... same kid also asked 'sir how do you spell BBC?', a little later on in the year
K-Fing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"wait...How many megabytes are in a megawatt?"
yetiman277 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy in my 8th grade class asked:
"How do they get the meat off the cow without hurting it?"
aya_rei00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But when I was in high school a girl next to me saw me writing in Hiragana. She asked what that was, so I told her it was one of the Japanese alphabets. I off handedly mentioned that the guy second from the front row, was in the same Japanese class as me. She asked why he was taking Japanese if he already spoke the language. He was Hmong, from Laos.
GreenSilo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in 8th grade we were all gonna go bird watching. One of my classmates asked, "Wait, we're not on the look-out for penguins, right?!". Sure I live in Sweden, but come on.
StimpyMD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In US history, with a big map of the continental United States on the wall. The teacher asked what advantages the north had. A kid raised his hand and said the North had the highground while the South had to fight up hill the entire time.
peeje172 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask so many questions that he was placed on limits by his other teachers. Thinking this is difficult to do (get a teacher to do so), I decided to count how many times he'd ask a question if given free range. Turns out I needed to put him on a limit bc he asked 57 in one period, and additionally said my name 71 times. If he asked something stupid or irrelevant (as was often the case) he would lose whatever remaining questions he had for the day. Once in the middle of a lesson he asked "how can I tell the difference between a fat woman and a pregnant woman". On a separate occasion I had a girl say " Mr. D, who invented flowers and grass? I bet they're rich..."
Curious_Corndog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:34:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a girl in my history class in high school disrupted a lesson on our current subject to ask the teacher:
"Will I go blind if I get cocaine in my eye?????"
ruckertopia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:53:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite quotes: there are no stupid questions, but there do seem to be a lot of inquisitive idiots.
Skyshark29 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but was stationed in Korea in the U.S. Army. A few of us were talking while waiting for formation and I pulled out my new cell phone to check the time. An E-5 saw it and asked if I bought it off base, and I said yes. She looked at it for a few seconds and then asked, "How'd you get it with U.S. numbers on it?" I started laughing at her joke before realising from her expression that it wasn't a joke.... This was in front of about 20 other troops....
Rustymonkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:56:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student last year (8th grade) ask me how the Earth doesn't sink. I was caught somewhat off guard by this so I asked her what she meant. "Well the Earth floats on a big ocean so how come it doesn't sink?"
The poor girl adamantly defended her theory throughout the entire class cracking up with laughter. We were talking about the goddamn battle of Stalingrad I have no idea how it even came up for her.
thebabbster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's absurd. Everyone knows the Earth rides on the back of a giant turtle. Pffft!
dineal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a first grader ask, "Do midgets have birthdays?"
Elzam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We have a test today?"
Every time I make sure to write it on the board a week beforehand and mention it in the 5-10 minutes of class catch-up/announcements in the beginning of the block, I'll get at least 3-4 mentions of this. It's not a sexy question by any means that will get a lot of laughs from most, but my first year teaching I thought it was something wrong with how I presented the info, so I went back to the board constantly. Online notifiers, parent notifications, remindme text groups, etc.
Now I just laugh inside a bit.
Stinktiere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:41:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach French, and one student thought French people thought in English, then translated what they wanted to say into French, and then said it - it never occurred to him that they manage without English completely.
taylorcolpitts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:43:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in biology class learning about plants and how they grow. A kid raised his hand and confidently blurted out "So.. are we plants?" ......
DudeOkThen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:04:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in class this girl says "can I ask a stupid question?"
the teacher responded with "there are no stupid questions, just stupid people"
we all died laughing and she cried
Verumestamendacium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
had a student ask me if i thought hacking was cool. He called himself a hacker with skills. said he knew enough to be dangerous. yeah...he had taken my intro to computer class 2 times before me...and yet failed it again...
xiaodre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:07:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in sex education class, the teacher was talking about mucus during sex, and i blurted out, "who in the world is spitting at a time like this?!"
.
everybody laughed, including the teacher, but i was serious!
seiyonoryuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds odd to me too though?
did ya ever find out?
lizhurleysbeefjerky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:08:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher myself but my friend James in A level biology class: "Sir, do ducks have gills?"
Beast1007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:08:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in junior high, we were having a trivia day in history class and the teacher asked this girl (mind you, a blonde hottie who sadly fit the stereotype way too well) "Who died at Custer's last stand?"
She looked at him with a blank stare on her face, and asked, "What is Custer's last stand?"
Teacher, shook his head and asked again, with emphasis, "who died at CUSTER'S last stand?"
Student, still not comprehending it, said "pass".
To this day, I don't know how this teacher kept composed with the dumb shit that came out of her mouth.
astrodog88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 10th grader asked me if horses lay eggs.
DropKix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:35:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do bats protect their eggs when they fall to the cave floor?"
COLLEGE JUNIOR.
VladiDadiDingDong ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:36:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but have a good one about an adult stupid question...
One of my employees has a high school son that plays football, and the coach held a Football 101 class for parents who didn't know much about the sport and wanted to learn. He started the session by saying there were no stupid questions. During the Q&A portion at the end of the session one mom asked why the yellow line they have in NFL games wasn't on the field. The coach somehow kept a straight face and explained that it's added in using technology and that she should watch the guys with the chains on the sideline at games in person.
RONALDROGAN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:38:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was looking at a world map and asked my teacher what was on the other side of the world.
My teacher was dumbfounded and it took her about a full minute to realize she needed to explain to me that a world map is an unraveled globe.
TheSorge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, someone asked if cats had metal claws. I have no idea what the fuck was going through their head. And it was an English class, so I don't think it was related to whatever we were doing.
one_eye_out ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:24:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a prosthetic eye. "So can you see out of it?"
MRAII ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:26:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once on a field trip to the rodeo--we walked past some bulls laying down in the barn: "I didn't know bulls lay eggs" I just pretended to ignore that comment.
ploobear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:27:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was subbing for a 7th grade history class. Kids were learning about European explorers and Columbus came up. There was a little bit about the myth of him discovering that the earth was round, but it didn't go into detail so I mentioned that, to my knowledge, the ancient greeks figured out it was round and there were likely others who did as well. Kid in the back asks why Columbus didn't just google it.
multigunzz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 7th grade a student literally thought that ham was an animal and that's where the meat came from. She was completely serious and believed that when she ate ham it wasn't from a pig
She's currently one of the smartest kids in our grade. How the times have changed her.
Boatpower ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Medical student. Classmate asked: Are mice vertebrates?
1jacob2ryan1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a fellow classmate that thought bears in national parks were put in cages every night.
akg3414 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:31:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When learning about viruses and bacteria, i got the question "why do all of these names sound like diseases?"
emmylou1156 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ms. ____, what do you do for a living?"
demonjd22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had just finished watching a "What If" video about the whole world being annihilated by Nuclear Holocaust. I mean, humans wiped out and only the cockroaches remain. Girl raises her hand and asks "Is this based on a true story?"
tieyourlyingtongue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:20:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During my first year a student asked me with total sincerity, "Is it true that in America everyone must smoke weed every day?"
Markmange ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but back in high school a girl in my class asked my French teacher "See when a French person thinks something in their head, do they think it in English then say it in French?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am a teacher now... But this was me at school. Learning about American history and the "Underground Railroad" and I asked if it was a real railroad and how that worked. I was 18. My friends were merciless.
goblinqueen1513 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I am a teacher now, I will never forget this question from university:
300 level grammar class. Bleach-blonde barbie in the back asks, "wait, what's the difference between a noun and a verb?" She dropped the class by the following week.
EruditeDilettante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did the instructor answer: "which kind?"
Kovvac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 12 student: "Is Shakespeare alive?"
fizzypickles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does broken glass taste like blood?
vape_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:00 on March 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're concerned contact the manufacturer about a recall
firehouse45_45 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grade science student "do you think we will ever go to the sun?"
Me "yeah but we'll have to go at night"
Crickets...
Rytlockfox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:26:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in one class in middle school the teacher asked the class if they knew why the Jewish calander was different than the ones we use, and a student answered "Because they are in a different time zone". It took a good 20 minutes for the teacher to get her composure after that.
Rivers_On_Fire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:29:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 12 year old patient say to me last night "wait, chicken pocks are real?" It was adorable.
ab1987ab ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an advanced calculus class a girl asked: "wait, why does x + x = 2x?"
Stunned
Draconfound ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... have more of a stupid answer story. In a health class in high school, the teacher did a really stupid activity where she wrote a bunch of words on the board, and then each person had to write on some post-it notes what came to mind when they heard each word. One of the words was "well-being", and at the time I was working on programming a game for fun, in which one of the characters was an old man who lived in a well. So, me being the honest person I was, I truthfully wrote that the first thing I thought of when I heard "well-being" was a person who lives in a well. The teacher flipped out, and because she didn't see that it was me who wrote that answer, she yelled at the whole class for a few minutes about not taking her seriously. What I learned in that day of class is that honesty is not always the best policy :/
Bri_lliant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:06 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty is always the best policy. Think about itโif you hadn't answered honestly you would have never been able to supply us with this wonderful story.
DickolasRage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my grade 9 or 10 science class asked how we could possibly fully close all of the holes in the ozone layer since we keep sending space shuttles and satellites up through it.
When told that the ozone layer wasn't solid, she asked why the light doesn't come through from everywhere at night instead of just the holes.
Then we realized she thought that stars were the light getting through holes in the solid black ozone layer at night
iq911506 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my sociology class we were discussing racism and how everyone is truly equal. One student insisted and argued that African Americans are better at sports because they have extra leg muscles.
In high school on a class trip to Washington DC a girl asked if that was the White House. We were in front of it and agreed. Turned around to see she was looking at another building across the street.
drewskadoowecan2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but on a first date with a girl and she was surprised that New Zealands oceans were salt water aswell...
Idk how you go 20 years thinking that only Canada has salt water oceans hahaha
Avagis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:44:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a student insist that there was a second earth, in an identical orbit as ours, but on the other side of the sun.
"Well why doesn't the solar system tip over when the planets are on one side, then?" he asked when I told him there wasn't one.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:44:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So if the earth rotates, why doesn't the water fall out?
RustDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Valid question, if the earth rotated fast enough water would indeed fall out ;)
Jimlish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:52:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If my bald spot spot was caused by my "Jew hat." I don't wear a yarmulke.
Smokey_McNoggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HA. Good one.
brockapottamus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wasn't the civil war when the blacks fought the whites?" That happened.
TooMuchButtHair ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: Mr. ButtHair, did you know the French are fucking evil?
Me: Oh, and why is that?
Student: In France, they kill frogs and eat them alive. Isn't that crazy?
Class: ...
locknickmonster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. This was my gf "a carpenter is someone who lays carpets right?"
illepic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really disappointed at the lack of Kevin in this thread.
am232009 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've only been teaching for 2 years and sometimes I don't even know how to respond to the questions I get asked. For context, I teach high school (ages 14-18). This week I had to explain to a student that her pay check would be taxed. She was shocked because she thought only adults had to pay taxes. But I think my favorite question of all time was from my first year. I worked in a charter school that served a very unique population. One day a student asked me (because I'm the science teacher) if her guy friend would be able to pass a drug test if she gave him pee. She was worried they would be able to tell it was girl pee and not boy pee. Not necessarily the stupidest question ever, just really stupid to tell your teacher you're going to help another student pass a drug test and lie to their PO.
SkeetShootinKittens ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well also not a teacher but I was in a sex Ed class as a freshman is high school when a girl asks if you could get pregnant from oral sex. The whole class was laughing at her, my buddy next to me was cracking up the hardest when he exclaimed "what the hell!? How can you get pregnant from talking about sex?"
Needless to say everybody in the class found a new victim to laughter at.
artetak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was there when a 15 year old didn't know how to read the numerical version of dates. Like....she wouldn't be able to tell that 1/27/17 would be January twenty seventh, 2017.
shortbaldman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:30:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There aren't 27 months in a year.
exhustedmommy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, no there is not. Who said their was?
shortbaldman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people would say that the date you specified was the first day of the 27th month in a year ending in '17', possibly 1917, 1817, 1717 apart from 2017.
exhustedmommy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:55 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learn something new everyday. I have actually never heard of that. It was always taught mm/dd/yyyy or mm/dd/yy. So always the 2 digit month, 2 digit day and either 4 digit or 2 digit year. So 1/27/17 would be read as January 27th, 2017. Also written like 01/27/2017 or 01/27/17.
shortbaldman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:17 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As far as I know, that month-day-system is only used in the US. Most other countries use day-month-year, many computers internally use year-month-day because it sorts easily in a computer.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calendar_date
exhustedmommy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:43 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the link โบ. Ya I am in the US so that is probably why I didn't know about the other ways.
Astrophysicist98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in calculus class, the teacher was reviewing limits at infinity. We got to sin(x) or something like that, the teacher asks why the limit doesn't exist, and the student replies, "because it ovulates".
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...what?
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he meant oscillates, lol.
Justanaveragedad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:25:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can twins have different dads? This was sophomore American history. And yes they can, I asked a biology teacher.
Polandra ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school is so archer here. So maybe to choose from, but here's the most recent one:
A student today declared that she thought chickens, roosters, and hens were all different types of birds. After confirming that actually, roosters and hens were just male and female chickens she ponders for a bit. And then excitedly asks "wait! So that means there's chicken milk! Can I try chicken milk?"
After my eyes bugged out for a moment pondering this turn of events I calmly said "well, chickens aren't mammals so.....?" She had no idea what that meant so I followed up with "mammals are the only animals that make milk. Chickens are birds, not mammals they don't make milk." She was so disappointed she could go milk a chicken. Meanwhile the rest of the room was just staring dumbfounded.
schmoobacca ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 25-year-old co-worker once ask me, "So... I know Nazis were bad... but like.... what did they do?"
And then I explained WW2 to her.
sumoface01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cue the stories of Kevin https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/slug/cgbhkwp
mankiller27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:48:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is Rhode Island in New York?" APUSH student in New York.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah.
imar0ckstar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My stepson once asked me "what part of the pig do the ribs come from".
Awwfukit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a nursing educator, teach a lot of CPR. Had some dumbshit ask me if the people in the CPR video all lived, or if they were just acting.....
plateofcereal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a band director. This one got old very fast. "Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
kristenlikescats ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my Sociology seminar (we had finished the series on Durkheim and were on to Karl Marx):
"Does anyone have any questions about Marx?"
Student: "...um, what marks are you talking about? We haven't had any tests or assignments."
runningbitch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After explaining melanin and evolutionary geography:
"If I'm from Ohio, why am I black?"
stuffadamdoes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did "the secret life of bees" have to make white people look like the bad guys?
.....my head exploded.
jamongmongi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school foreign language: "Why do people speak in other languages when they all just translate into English in their heads anyway?"
Yes. He thought that everyone everywhere has English words in their brains and speak their own languages just to be difficult.
Exciples ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:58:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a Geology class at a community college a female student approximately early 20's asked during lecture about layers of the earth, "how long would it take to drill through the earth and get to China?" She was serious.
I recorded this lecture, and still listen to it from time to time when I need a good laugh.
Potatocaucus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:06:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school English teacher. Ended up arguing with a an 18 year old about the existence of unicorns because she'd found pictures on the internet. She got extremely defensive when I explained photoshop to her and that people put stuff on the internet to purposefully fool people who are ignorant. Another student filmed us. I and the principal had to meet with her and her mom.
SpaceAgeUnicorn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:11:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once witnessed a kid ask if California was bigger than the United States.
Helpmebuildpc55 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:26:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are stars broken off pieces of the sun"
In 8 th grade. Fucking idiot.
seaturtle38 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More cute than stupid because of the age...a second grader shared his concern with me weeks after the fact. We had been doing a unit of reading with informational books and had read a book about bugs. This particular page was about black widows and one of the facts in the book said that black widows used to build webs in the old outhouse style toilets. So weeks later, the little boy comes to me and says he's been scared to sit on his toilet for all this time!
LogStar100 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went into Rome and to Colosseum as a field trip.
"Why did they build the Colosseum so close to the metro?"
CoreyLee04 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disclaimer: I am not a teacher nor student. But since this falls into the stupidest questions category I wanted to share it with you good people.
During the holidays my parents, sister, and I go to my grandparents house in Myrtle Beach. They have heavy native American heritage and dark toned but consider themselves white and are heavily racist to non white races.
Last month during Christmas holiday my sister decides to take her half white, half Mexican boyfriend who was raised here in SC and they've been going out for about 2 years so no big deal. My grandmother constantly berates him for being Mexican even though he's not from Mexico or full blooded.
Anyway, during our Christmas dinner my grandparents decided to invite some of their heavy Conservative friends over to enjoy as well. One of their friends was a really nice old lady who introduced herself to us as a former English teacher from a local high school. She was super sweet and nice to us during the dinner.
Sometime during our conversation she introduces herself to my sisters boyfriend and told him that she was delighted he could travel all the way here to enjoy a special Christmas dinner (we all thought it meant that he went with us for Christmas instead of being with his own family).
Y'all.... right after she introduced herself she looks him dead in the eyes and asks if they celebrate Christmas in Mexico. Everyone just just stopped chewing their food, it became super quite and everyone around the table was looking at him to answer her question. He was actually polite and didn't get mad or anything. He just told her that they do celebrate it but he's not from Mexico. She told him sorry and that she just assumed that he lived there when he was a child.
He laughed playing along with her and asked if she ever hear of Felice Navidad and she told him she had never heard of that song in her entire life.
Both me and my sisters jaw had to be on the floor after hearing all this and the rest of the people around the table just continued eating like it wasnt a big deal. I just couldn't believe a "teacher" would assume he was from Mexico and she had no clue how other countries around the world celebrated Christmas.
TL;DR: I live with a racist family. Sisters half white/Mexican American bf comes to Christmas dinner. Gets asked if people in Mexico celebrates Christmas by a former high school English teacher.
bhutan4ever ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:51:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A college graduate: "What number is October?"
Matthew_BpBuds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:38 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10. This one kind of makes sense.
Scales-and-tails ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What if we could makr elements out of atoms?" - a 9th grade student in Physical Science, North Carolina. I swear I'll never forget it. I just... wow... sometimes I wonder how smart our average person is.
2Twice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:03:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 6-8th grades. I should start writing down what kids say. Ridiculousness happens on a daily basis. Here's a dead sub but might as well mention it. /r/todayastudent
lieutenantbunbun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"But everyone knows evolution isn't real right? I mean dinosaurs are a trick." Asked by a nurse who recently graduated from Penn State
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in 7th grade Sex Ed, we watched this movie about sperm and how sex works in a somewhat cheesy way (had talking sperm, it was weird), abd after watching it, some guys asked "So sperms can talk?"
Bonesbing5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:20:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl asked my history teacher during a discussion if Donald Trump was Russian
outofthewebwork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife teaches 6th grade. During an astronomy lesson she explained that Uranus has slight rings around the planet like Saturn. She further explained that the planet rotates on its side (vaguely perpendicular to the rotation of earth). A student then exclaimed with complete understanding, "Ooooooh. So THAT's why the rings don't fall off."
briguytrading ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but here's a stupid comment I made in the 3rd grade that still haunts me (since 1977).
For several days, my teacher was teaching us about our address and how to address an envelope, for example. Every time, she would write, 'Rahway, NJ' then pause and ask us for the zip code. It got to where I got the impression she genuinely didn't know and had to ask each time.
I finally blurted out, with a slightly sarcastic (and definitely disrespectful tone): 'Mrs. Wolman...it's 07065. How come you don't even know your own zipcode?' 'Well, Brian, it's because I don't live here.'
Up until then, my seven year old self assumed teachers were assigned to the school where they lived, just like I was as a student. I was embarrassed when I realize how dumb that assumption was. And it still bugs me down to this day.
spiky_odradek ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:38:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a bad assumption for a third grader!
briguytrading ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:16:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You make me feel a little better. Thank you, stranger.
bgzlvsdmb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:01:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once taught music at a very rural school. Incredibly rural. As in, nothing for miles in any direction.
I tell the students that our concert begins at 7pm. I want everyone there dressed and ready to perform at 6:45pm. One student, who always found a way to get on my nerves, asks "What if there's traffic?"
Ermcb70 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a teacher who wrote stupid questions on the board.
"I am running out of space, Can I put J.W. for George Washington?"
scyaxe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my chemistry class didn't know that there were passengers on the 9/11 planes. This was a high school junior.
burritocurse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:14:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my friends history class, they were discussing the Donner party, where the pioneers fucked up in winter and had to eat their horses and a girl raised her hand and said 'Mr. Greene, you can't eat a horse, a horse is nothing but muscle'. There was silence for about ten seconds in the class.
clitasaurusrexrawr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:53:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, or in a class but had a conversation with a friend who asked if eggs were dairy or not, because eggs are in the dairy section at the store with milk.
WilsonsDiseaseAnPony ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:38:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something similar, I overheard a conversation where a girl was very adamant that, "If you're lactose intolerant, you can't eat eggs!" We're college level....
w0lfie_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my history teacher from high school told my class that while he was doing a presentation for a college, or something similar to that, (forgot what the circumstances were) that a girl asked if World War 1 came before or after World War 2.
Never thought it was a true story, but there definitely is such a thing as a stupid question. So at least that message was loud and clear.
6porkchop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:37:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After I handed out the bubble sheets for the semester test, he asked, "How am I supposed to answer this?!" His tone was rather incredulous, like I was asking the impossible, but he was still staring at the paper very confused.
Then I handed out the question packets.
theinimitableliver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:56:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was a sub at a high school, a student asked "which is bigger, Beijing or China? had to look around the room in case anyone wanted to answer that or say anything at all. no response. I said 'Beijing'
TotalCognition ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:01:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, but this girl in my class asked why the water doesn't fall off the bottom of the earth. (She was 16-17 in a high school science course)
almightyjew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:07:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most People dont know what gravity is in that age lol
Bri_lliant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:38 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
most people? what planet are you living on? this is the first time i've ever heard of someone 16-17 not knowing what gravity is
snugglyaggron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:34 on February 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck? I'm 16, and literally everyone I know knows how gravity works. What are you smoking?
maradetron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:41 on February 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
plot twist totalcognition is the girl in the story
sharpixma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on April 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, technically speaking, gravity is crazy weird and we still aren't sure how it works. We expect a quantum theory, but no one's been able to come up with one yet.
Rhed0x ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:50:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One day on TeamSpeak after some shitty banter:
AngryTableSpoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:58:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student, I overheard a student ask the teacher "But isn't the USA and the UK the same thing? But they both start with the letter U?"
M0bysan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:02:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ran a sales competition with a long adventure weekend in Cape Town as the prize for the top reps. The best rep was a 23 year old Pakistani girl who absolutely killed the numbers.
She'd been brought up by religiously conservative parents and as a result she had led a sheltered life and was very naive.
She bought her very first swimming costume for the trip but was alarmed to discover that the costume wouldn't keep her body dry in the water.
She also genuinely thought that Table Mountain was made out of wood......
Teridax_Cx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:16:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was the Iron Curtain really a curtain?"
tree5eat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:33:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student was telling me about Antarctica's rule that people need to have their tonsils and appendix removed before visiting (I am not sure about this).
Another student added, "do they put them back in when you leave? "
SuzLouA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:55:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. I can't say for certain if you're living on a base, but this definitely isn't true for visiting.
Source: my tonsil-having, appendix-owning self has visited Antarctica.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:36:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher story. But I was working at a small Seattle's Best cafe many years ago when this woman came in and ordered 1 hot latte and 1 iced latte. After I made them and set them on the counter for her, she looks at them, then looks at me and asks "which one is which?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:53:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my history teachers in high school used to say : there are no stupid questions, only stupid people
Shane4894 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:11:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but an ex-University Tutor. There were 9 classes for a course I was tutoring, and to pass the course you had to attend at least 7 of the 9 (tutorials were like classrooms where I would lead discussion / exercises etc).
On my first tutorial I told them this (you must attend 7 out of 9 to meet the course requirements) where I had a student put his hand up and ask me "if I wag two then swap tutorials and wag another two and keep doing that, will i still pass?". He didn't realise I record attendance and upload it to the University server each week ...
LucyMullet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:19:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do I do when I get to the end of the page? (Of their book in which they write)
Just turn the page over and keep working!!!
Kalavaros ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:32:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the student's perspective: Miss, what is "rubber"? 9th-grade chemistry for you folks.
AstridSoul ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:42:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I get into high school do I have to take English if I already speak it?
horses_for_courses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes.
Kevin_O_Loacvick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a reasonable person. I had a friend that asked "Is that constant always the same?"
BrontosaurusBox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the days when I taught English as a second language to young adults I was once asked if "jolly" is the past tense of "jelly"...
grmblstltskn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:05 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually not the worst thing they could ask, when you consider verbs like sing/sang/sung, ran/run, dive/dove, etc. In linguistics it's called analogy, making assumptions about language patterns in new input based on patterns you've seen previously. It's the reason little kids say, "I runned" or "I seed" before learning irregular verb forms.
Saemika ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student seriously ask me if Aqua Man was the mayor of Atlanta.
Phonics_Frog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:02:14 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my sister asked me during a Wailers concert if they were some kind of Bob Marley cover band. To her credit she realized her mistake as soon as she finished the question. Still funny though.
AvengesTheStorm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:35:40 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am the student who answered the question. In grade 5 on the topic of World War Two someone asked "why did young people willingly go to war" my dumbass said "because they really like video games."
for_science77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:34:23 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in response to a discussion about all the stuff the us left on the moon she asked why doesn't it all fall off because there's no gravity up there.
raincoat717 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:57 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Middle-school science teacher here. We were discussing sexual vs. asexual reproduction in organisms. Previously had discussed metamorphosis in insects.
A kid asked me if bugs go through sexual reproduction. I told her yes. Then dead-pan, 100% serious, she asked me: "I don't get it... what are moth balls, and why do people buy them?"
raincoat717 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:58 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My other favorite: kid asked me why there are some diseases you "catch" and some diseases you're born with. I explained the difference between communicable vs. congenital disorders. She then asked me "so if a person with brown eyes gets with with a person with blue eyes, can they catch blue eyes?"
stringcraftgaming ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:33:58 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a couple from one girl:
"If the Earth gets too overpopulated, will it fall out of the sky" - innocent enough.
"Who invented the heart, and is he still alive" - this one was just a jaw-drop one where you questioned if she was joking or not
DigbyTheGoat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:00:38 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I attended an astronomy class in my senior year of high school, I didn't expect everyone in that class to be as... uneducated as they were.
We were talking about stars, the teacher explains that stars are billions of miles away from Earth, and one of the redneck kids raises his hand and asks "If stars are so far away, then what are them things in the sky at night?"
We were watching a documentary on glaciers (substitute that day) and how they're melting, and another one of the redneck kids raises his hand and asks "If it's hot enough that the ice is melting then how come they still have to wear jackets and stuff?"
Sarstan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:18:02 on February 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
In high school, a classmate had the great question of "how many universes contain stars?"
page987 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:03 on February 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher" disclaimer, but a kid sitting next to me asked how you say Walmart in French.
Also: "When was the War of 1812?" The teacher asked him to think about what he just said, and he still didn't know.
StrangerJack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:34 on February 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex Ed-6th Grade-
Dumb Idiot-" So if a guy pee's in a girls mouth, can she get pregnant?"
Me- Oh.My.God.
thesagaconts ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:53:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do we get the Fourth of July off? I lived outside of D.C. then. The rest of the class giggled.
MrRonny6 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:46:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't live in the US (and probably am derping about pretty damn bad right now), but what is wrong with this question?
BearimusPrimal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:51:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
School, outside of summer courses, isn't in session in July.
liquidblue92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something tells me that student knew they were going to summer school
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She also probably thought it was hotter in the summer, because the sun rises earlier and sets later, so it turns into the moon less often and heats up the earth more.
TangleF23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In special ed, because behavioural problems+adhd- yes, it's part of the ~6 day break between school and summer school.
bricarp ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 11:54:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lorelai: How does ink come out of pens?
Alwyn1989 ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 12:19:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great question. Teach them about the science of a ballpoint pen and how engineers had to work hard to create a pen that can be used in space
usernumber36 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 13:49:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(that's not how science teaching works)
you gotta cover the course content son.
RichToffee ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Booooo
jmerridew124 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we have a syllabus here. Wouldn't want to encourage students to be naturally curious or anything.
Mrs-Nesbitt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:28:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If course you want to encourage it but I'm a lot of schools you can get in trouble for straying from standards. Not saying it's right but it's how it is some places
usernumber36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:33:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
naturally curious is fine, but if your teacher next year wants to teach you about chemical bonds and I was too fucking disorganised to bother teaching you about the atom, we have a problem.
Knowledge in most subjects is cumulative. If you stray way the fuck off track then you fuck up your students'entire next year's schooling.
Emperor_of_Alagasia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone tell this to my chem teacher
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 15:43:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
liquidblue92 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:36:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So in other words you chose to waste others money because you took a class that you didn't need to take. You are a fucking asshole.
Edit: changed were to are as they defended the actions.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:12:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
liquidblue92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wasted a lot of your classmates money. Doing it once is a prick move, and I'm rude because you demonstrated that you are extremely inconsiderate. You just tried to justify wasting other people's money because you didn't do it everyday. If you want to take a blowoff class, shut the fuck up and let the people that need the lectures they payed for receive them.
Edit: didn't see this was highschool. My money point is irrelevant. Students needing to have a lecture so they could learn is not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I checked, high school is free. And pull the stick out of your ass. Have you never been a teenager. They don't care about distracting the teacher if it means they don't have to work. And I'm sure most of the kids were happy he did that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
liquidblue92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's not like it was an everyday occurence. That's justifying what you did by saying you didn't do it everyday.
Silas_Walks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didnt waste anything but time. And in highschool, time =/= money
thepersoncommenting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Copied directly from wikipedia:
The wood pencil has been used for writing by NASA and Soviet space programs from the start. It is simple with no moving parts, except for the sharpener. However, wood, graphite, and rubber (in the eraser) are all combustible and create dust. Graphite, in particular, burns to produce dust that conducts electricity.
The mechanical pencil has been used by NASA starting in the 1960s Gemini program. It can be made to be as wide as the width of astronauts' gloves, yet maintain its light weight. There are no wooden components which might catch fire and create dust. However, the pencil lead still creates graphite dust that conducts electricity.
Grease pencils on plastic slates were used by the Soviet space program as an early substitute for wood pencils. It is simple with no moving parts. The paper shroud is peeled back when needed. The disadvantage is that the paper wrapper has to be disposed of. Writing done with the grease pencil is also not as durable as ink on paper.
Ballpoint pens have been used by Soviet and then Russian space programs as a substitute for grease pencils as well as NASA and ESA. The pens are cheap, use paper (which is easily available), and writing done using pen is more permanent than that done with graphite pencils and grease pencils, which makes the ball point pen more suitable for log books and scientific note books. However, the ink is indelible, and depending on composition is subject to outgassing and temperature variations.
Felt-tip pens were used by NASA astronauts in the Apollo missions. However, wick-based instruments are designed around low viscosity, and thus operating temperature and pressure.
ExxInferis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:57:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use a space pen! Love it. Always works. Even in space. Probably.
mechabeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take de pen!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:08:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then tell them about how Russia just used a pencil.
Gman1012 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:34:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And how graphite shavings in the air would seriously fuck up equipment and be a fire hazard.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did say it was the Russians.
Lorunification ยท -41 points ยท Posted at 12:36:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... which has then been replaced by a pencil within days.
ms_king_potato ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 12:57:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's a myth - something to do with graphite dust floating off the nib when used??? Or maybe something to do with the shavings.
Edit: found a snopes article
http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:01:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
um well AKSHULLY snopes owned by a LIBERAL WHO USES PENS so this is FAKE FACTS and we should all embrace alternative fact about glorious russia using pencils instead of stupid us science pens
linkman0596 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it wasn't, they never considered using a pencil because they were worried about the shavings getting into the instruments. That's just an old joke
oddfuture445 ยท -67 points ยท Posted at 12:39:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually Russian cosmonauts used the pencil, American cosmonauts used that weird space pen just so they wouldn't feel dumb for wasting all that money.
Edit: Americans downvoting lol
Edit 2: I fear for trumps america
robynclark ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 12:57:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually pencils were never used in space because the graphite dust could become airborne and become dangerous. The cosmonauts also used the space pen once it was finished. The famous graphic is not correct.
Kumquats_indeed ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:29:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also the graphite is conductive, so it has the potential to also mess with the sensitive electrical systems in the capsule
rad136rc ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:00:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it was because the graphite in the pencil would get in the ventilation and would cause damages to the ship.
_PM_ME_GFUR_ ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:33:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pencils are a fire hazard in space. The Russians used the space pen too.
Semicolon7645 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:01:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you forgot the /s at the end of your sentence.
slicedpi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:10:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah because sending a bunch of graphite dust and wood shavings into a zero gravity environment for ready inhalation is such a great idea
ASDMEL ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:55:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way I heard it is that pencils are a big risk in zeroG because of floating graphite dust (messing w electronics + fire danger).
So russians also switched to ball-pens as soon as they were available.
RichToffee ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:11:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
American cosmonauts. Wasting all that money. The space pen was developed by fisher with his own money, no government funding, and sold at like 5 dollars a pen to nasa.
oddfuture445 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:18:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ya if they bought say 20 that's already 100$, which back then was equal to about 10,00 today
RichToffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:12 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck. No, it would be 758. Which is fucking nothing for a rocket that costs billions. Fucking die. Jesus.
oddfuture445 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:50 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
758 rounds up 2 10,00 plus you forgot to take in to account that we didn't have computers back then so it was diffrent
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The pen was privately developed and funded. NASA couldn't care less about the money used to develop the pen. Also, Russians used pens as well.
Trigunesq ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:27:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont think thats a stupid question honestly. If it was a college course or even a late high school course, sure. Other than that its a solid question.
scottishdrunkard ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:07:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I didn't learn about that until I was 17. Apparantly there is a teeny ball at the end, which ink rolls on.
Joe_Mama ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:35:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hence the name "ball point pen".
quantasmm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:44:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that is because the ball is pointed.
-moshimoshi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:32:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes...a ballpoint pen...
Tzipity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hence "roller ball" and "ball point". ๐
katandpotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just learnt that now and I'm 22
IamGimli_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:06:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never wondered why they call it a ball-point pen?
thepersoncommenting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you never looked at the nib of a pen
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:59:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and where did all the anvils go?!
bricarp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac? So, what, the plural of yo-yo is yos-yo?
solinaceae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an awesome question! You can walk them through the evolution of quills to fountain pens with ink cartridges, to ball point pens.
colehall32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luke: All right, there is such a thing.
bricarp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<3
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:36:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a legit physics based question. The context might be funny. Like say a family was camping and there was a flood and their tent was washed away. The family hikes for 4 days through wilderness, starvation and malnutrition. The mother of the family eventually dies but the father must soldier on with the children. He decides to eat the corpse for sustenance and feed it to the four weak children. Renewed the hike continues. While the highway is a mere 500 yards south, he mistakenly turns north, marching the family through 4 additional days of hardships including being stalked by wolves, loss of sanity, and two additional children dying from the conditions. Suddenly they come to a sheer cliff which must be scaled or they must turn around. They decide to climb the wall even though it is hundreds of yards tall and they have no ropes or equipment of any kind and their bodies are riddled with the marks of the death hike they have endured. At 50 feet up little Billy missteps and falls to his death. Its just dad and his middle child, his favorite, left. The father looks at his son with tears in his eyes and says, "Son, if we make it over this wall I know we are going to make it." He tries to muster up courage for his son but also for himself. His vain hope is the only thing pushing them forward. The son looks at his father, his fingers tightly gripping the face of the rock wall. He says in a timid voice, "dad?" "Yes, son." "How does ink come out of the pens?" The father gets a twisted look on his face as he pushes his son loose of the wall and watches him fall to his death, his small body dashed by the rocks at the bottom. "What a stupid question," he mutters as he continues, unburdened finally. His pace picks up and as he clears the top of the ledge he finds himself staring at a large male mountain lion, also starving with the ruggedness of the country. The mountain lion crouches before a lunge towards the man. He mumbles, "Seriously. The boy wanted to know how pens work at a time like this. The fool." <end scene>
SlapUglyPeople ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R/UnexpectedStorytime
Troloscic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/jesuschristreddit
furious_20 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:56:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher, but the dumbest question/comment I every heard was actually at Christmas dinner from a gal my brother was dating. Gary Locke (then-governor of Washington state, where I live) was shown on the news for something, but the volume was too low for anyone to hear the story. Note that she was 23 at the time and from a different city about 150 miles away from us, but still lived her whole life in the state just as my brother and I who were 22 and 19 respectively.
Her: "Why does he have so many body guards?"
Me: "Oh, that's because he's our governor."
Her: "My bad, I don't live in Seattle so I don't know these people."
Everyone in the room was stunned in silence with a WTF face for the next 5 minutes.
hpresent ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:20:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A third grader asked if global warming was real why does it still snow. No wait, that wasn't a third grader, it was Donald Trump.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:23:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It kind of doesn't anymore. Or at least not anywhere close to as much as even 5 years ago.
Jillish ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:57:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While watching a reenactment of the Salem Witch Trials, a student asked me "So wait, are those the real people or are they just actors?"
MrRonny6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
seemtobedead ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:01:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biology classroom, sex unit. "...and semen is made up primarily of carbohydrates, or complex sugars." student raises hand "then why doesn't it taste sweet?" เฒ _เฒ
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:45:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LethargicMoth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:40:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why's the guy getting downvoted? I've seen more "not a teacher, but" comments here than others, come on.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:40:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LethargicMoth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:31:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah, but he never said only teachers can answer the question. He just pointed out that the majority of people sharing their stories here are in fact not teachers.
TechDude120708 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to comment this, but you beat me to it. Have an upvote.
scout1520 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but while I was in a college at a 400 level economics class a student raised his hand and asked "why is demand downward sloping?"
The professor paused, looked at him and then proceeded to explain the most basic principle of economics.
balrogsamson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but "what is magma?"
That's fine, right? Innocent question. Maybe this girl never learned. After being told it was molten rock:
"But yeah like what is it?"
Aaaaaaaaaaaa
Edit: clarification
Houseton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How was it answered? Molten rock under the surface of the earth? Very hot rock underground?
acmorgan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a tutoring center for a university. All the time people come in and don't know the first thing about the class they need help with. That'd be fine, if these people would outright say that, rather than let me get halfway into answering their direct question before they told me they had no clue what they were saying.
I had someone come in yesterday and in course of answering their question, (5/3)ร3 came up. They couldn't do it. When I showed them how the threes cancel, they asked me to show it to them a different way.
Wibbles20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student in my Year 11 Modern History class who was a history buff (especially WWII) 100% genuinely asked "What is a hitler?"
They had somehow read a bunch of books on WWII and never read about Hitler
Moustic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss, beef comes from cows???? This from a grade nine student.
travelandscrabble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was out to eat at a fancy steakhouse with a group of 12th grade students who had just placed in the top three at the National Science bowl. They were really smart kids. We order steaks and every one orders either medium rare or medium well. Get to the last kid and he asks, "Is there anything in between medium rare and medium well?"
Furt77 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:20:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Extra medium.
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
seen your name twice now. you're scrolling right down the list at the same time I am, lol.
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He probably doesn't eat steak a lot.
lizwrites007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is the longest amount of time I can go to the bathroom for?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
AlwaysTurning ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:15:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surgical or musical?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Musical!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he mean February 29th?
xnoybis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA / co-teacher for a college course. One of my students plagiarized their final project. Then they plagiarized their make-up final project.
His question to me and before the student court (and subsequently banned from enrolling in any university within the state system for 7 years) was, "How is this plagiarism - I did all necessary independent research to find these articles?"
The student was a sophomore at a tier-1 research institute.
PoweredbyTib ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
asked me why helicopters dont have ejection seats. I said, oh like you drop out of the bottom? He goes, no silly why would they do that ejection seats launch you up!
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
timing... is... CRITICAL!
LiltingLily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in secondary school, a 14 year old girl in my class sincerely asked our teacher if there were signposts in the sky, so the aeroplanes would know where to go. He had to leave the class for a few minutes after telling her that was indeed not the case.
OnePanchMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about how much technology had changed, comparing a phone to the moon landing.
"Sir, how did they know where they were going without GPS? "
The moons a pretty large white object.
"But sir what if they flew at night?"
... What
Same kid also thought we found satellites in space, I double checked he wasn't calling the moon a satellite, till he responded, no sir the moon is a big space rock.
Year 9 ladies and gentlemen, fucking hell. (13yr old)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my little sister told me a story about a girl in her geography class once. The teacher was pointing to a world map, and telling the class how Australia moves a few centimeters to the right each year. Girl raises her hand and asks "What's gonna happen?" Teacher asks her what she means. Turns out, she wanted to know what was gonna happen once it went over the edge of the map...
Should be noted that this girl also thought Hitler was the big green guy in purple pants. This was the 7th grade.
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
she... she thought The Hulk was Hitler?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yup. or at least, the other way around.
blueholeload ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my class in eighth grade asked if Mt. Rushmore was naturally formed
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching a class at a private for-profit college that recently went belly-up because the government decided to stop guaranteeing their student loans: The class met once a week, it was week 5: I was 1 hour into the lecture when a student in the back of the room gets up, walks to my podium and stands there, staring at me. Just stands there staring at me. I finally asked him what he needed and he said "I want to know what I missed last week."
I told him to sit down.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:46 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Tech
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:19 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you think so?
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:07 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if its ITT Tech, but they did go belly up for that reason, and I got to use an "In This Thread" pun that I liked. :-)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:38 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was. A miserable semester, that was.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:35 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
im sorry, sounds like you had literally zero warning then. I hope you landed on your feet?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:44 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't there when they went kaflooey. I was there when the FBI raided corporate headquarters in Indianapolis. That was fun explaining to the students.
SnArL817 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, BUT....
I took ENG 110 at the local community college so I wouldn't have to pay university prices for core classes. We had an assignment to write an essay on a controversial topic and then read it out loud. Most students did theirs on abortion or gun control, but one of the jocks took a different direction. His essay was on the differences and similarities between cats and dogs.
Now, it was pretty clear from the way he read the essay in class that he didn't actually write it. He kept stumbling over the big words, like contrast. Did you know that cats and dogs both have four legs? We were not sure how this was controversial.
The professor took him aside and informed him that whoever wrote the paper for him ad ripped him off. I think he lost his football scholarship to the community college at the end of the semester.
classic89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A high school student once asked "When the snow melts, where does all the white go?"
Rockburgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Badly phrased, but a fair question. I'd guess it means something along the lines of "why is water not the same color as snow?"
oleboogerhays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. A girl in my psychology 101 class in college asked if dream catchers really worked. It took the professor a minute to actually understand the question.
AppleCrumble69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student, in year 9 a boy asked if we all breathe through our cervix. He didnt live that one down for the next 2 years
Edit: This was a biology class
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh! he got it flipped with larynx, right?
AppleCrumble69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he somehow got it mixed with the trachea, rather than the voice box, it was hilarious though xD Just shows how good secondary education is to be honest.
All_Day_USA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a current events class, during the height of the Iraqi War a kid asked about the war and a girl raised her hand and asked if Iraq was in Michigan. It was an eighth grade class...
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Baghdad in the Upper Fertile Crescent or the Lower Fertile Crescent?
Furt77 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:24:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen pictures of Detroit lately?
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
omg...
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://chernobyl-or-detroit.tumblr.com/
Doomwedgie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once projected a photo of the Pillars of Creation (a small area of the Eagle Nebula). It's an iconic Hubble photo from the 90s.
"So, uh, is that because of human pollution?"
I didn't know what to say that wouldn't make him feel stupid.
Candysama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
France, 5th year of English course in University while given a subject on the Green Card she asks:
"Why are we having a subject on the environment?"
WrkBoots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During 7th grade sex Ed: "Okay, say you're banging this chick and your sack hits her ass, does it retard the sperm?"
vape_angel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck does one even come up with that question?
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
his dad's sack hit his mom in the ass a little too hard...
vape_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's blatantly obvious
switchondem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my class once said, in complete seriousness: "Dinosaurs weren't actually real were they?"
Psychodelta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught at a culinary institute, hang on to your butts:
-When it says a whole egg, do they mean they shell too?
-How do I make toast?
-How do I know when water is boiling?
Cheers,
Dedli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher in this situation, but I was in a high school multi science class talking about how the moon came to be. A student asserted that the moon couldn't have possibly been created from matter that was on Earth, because the Earth doesn't glow like the moon.
TheCrabRabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in the middle of 10th grade French class, a girl blurted out, "Wait... Can the wind move the sun?!"
We were not talking about wind or the sun, and the class was communicating in French at the time.
The teacher tried not to laugh, but it was pretty obvious how stupid the question was.
Swordsarecool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my class thought that Poland was between Germany and France and that's why World War 2 started.
boozecicles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who is King Cotton?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Blottoboxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That could be a sign of burnout or extreme stress.
Surferbaseball10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher and this happened in my brother's biology class when we were in high school. The class was going over evolution and a student asked if evolution was the reason why the monkeys in Planet of the Apes were able to talk.
NemesisMortalShare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After a fashion... yes.
WilliamandKate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a class mate of mine once asked our English teacher this.. "I know one can be overwhelmed and one can be underwhelmed, but... can one simply be whelmed?"
natdanger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching an eighth grade science class at a charter school big into Project Based Learning. I had come in as a permanent sub and had no curriculum and no formal education training.
We got through the standards early, so for the final project, I assigned an open ended year-end project with pretty basic objectives: explore something you're interested in and learn something about it.
I announced the project with a sort of pow wow lecture about how amazing the world was and how much wonder there was to dig into. Something about how there are miracles all around us just waiting to be uncovered, so just look into one of them and report back on it. The grade would just be dependent on how curious they got and if they learned anything (basically just "actually did something=A," "half assed it=C").
Most of the kids got excited by the project and started writing down ideas for it.
One kid, clearly unimpressed, just said "so Mister, when's this due?"
Not the point, bro.
Bigstar976 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a French teacher in Louisiana. A fifth grader asked me one day: "How do you say Mardi Gras in French?".
hperron01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If Hitler loved Aryans so much, why did he try to exterminate them?"
jaffycake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a stupid question, but my gf is a teacher, she came home yesterday and said one of the little kids asked her "Miss, what is oral sex?".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a professor myself but one time my physics professor was explaining whatever physics thing and he said "so in your calculators, add 'x' meters plus 'y' meters. And someone asked how do you input meters into the calculator.
gdunlap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in a first year Calculus class (where most of us were struggling) a student asked the professor how he got to the next step in a problem. he said he added. she looked confused and he pointed to the number on the left of the symbol and the number on the right and then informed her the symbol was a + sign and that meant add. she dropped the class.
nicklesismoneyto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a girl ask where the texas chainsaw massacre happened.
Erasmus117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two years into teaching the economics class and right before the students are about to sit their final exams to leave school a student puts their hand up asks where exactly is the world economy.
Haram_Snack_Pack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(This happened in Australia) I'm not a teacher but a student. A few years ago in 9th grade our teacher was explaining the rate of gravitational pull for the earth or something similar. A girl who isn't really known for her brains said "If we're on the bottom of the earth [down under] then how come we're not just upside-down and we don't know it?" Kill me please.
TeacherMcThrowaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Former 6th grade teacher.
"Why did Abraham Lincoln invent the 4th of July?"
"...I don't know, let's see if the video answers that question."
TriloBlitz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's an architect in Portugal from the 80's whose name is Tomรกs Taveira (or Sir Tomรกs Taveira, because this guy is a legendary savage). He had a video camera in his office, and he would often receive "visits" from his customer's wives (among other women), when they needed "help" for their construction projects to be approved by the city hall. And basically he would f*ck them in the ass, film it and show it to all his friends.
But this guy wasn't only an architect, he was also an architecture teacher at the university. And this one time he got a "visit" from a girl who attended his classes. Basically she sucked (no pun intended) at architecture and was going to fail the class and was looking for some way not to fail it. And he said: "well, you can start by bending over on that couch and pull your pants down". And he proceeds to f*ck her in the ass.
Immediately the girl says, in a crying voice: "it's hurting"
To which he replies: "Hurts, doesn't it? You should have studied!"; and proceeds.
And that was the moment one of the most popular Portuguese sayings was born. Every time someone complains about anything, people just reply "You should've studied."
And, the videos are all on the internet. Just google for "Tomรกs Taveira videos".
Volsung_Odinsbreed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 11: What's a mudslide?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:53:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kaluha Rum Coffee Ice Cream Chocolate sauce
Duh!!!! What a stupid kid
Volsung_Odinsbreed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol. I wish that is what she meant
AbedNoOneFan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my history class, we were watching Forrest Gump during the last class, because why not. Towards the end of the sequence in which Gump is running across the entire country, and one student raised her hand and asks: "is this a true story?"
DirtyToeTom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm a little late but oh well. I taught high school science at a corrections facility for at risk youth. My favorite question came after I showed my students a video of pressure building up inside of a trash can when you add liquid nitrogen and 1500 ping pong balls. One of my students raised his hand and asked "You think that would work with bullets?" I looked at him for a couple seconds and then moved on with my lesson.
Here's he video: https://youtu.be/CGTM2x--lqg
VFoYY8A4Om ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a really dumb school in the south. In our class, we had tables, and it was two people to a table. The teacher was giving us a lecture about friction cause that's what you learn about in 9th grade. Anyway, the teacher says that when objects make a lot of friction, the cause heat. I immediately see a hand shoot up to my left a couple tables down. "So, if friction causes heat, is that why pussies get hot when you have sex?". The teacher was a cool guy, so he played it deadpan and gave a real response back to the kid but all I can remember is how ridiculous the question was. I think the guy was just trying to be funny but still...
thatcraniumguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Health and Sciences teacher in high school once told us about a student she had. It was around the time they're talking reproduction, and the topic today was male reproduction. Our teacher was talking about semen, and its makeup. Since semen contains some fructose, one of the girls pipes up, "But Mrs. T., why doesn't it taste sweet?"
Shocked silence followed by laughter from everyone.
mellnoel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in highschool/college credit biology class. Teacher explaining the concept of early humans originating in Africa ('eve' being the oldest traceable modern human ancestor). Very loud, little white girl "Wait so Adam and Eve were black?!" She also was confused as to how the first human had monkey parents.
dunkus-the-dunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instructor aide not teacher. I was asked by a student if it was ok to vape in class.
code_vector ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"[Dred] Scott was that he moved to a slave free state and then to a slavery state several times."
"How could it do that?"
"What?"
"How could Scott change from a slave state to a free state over and over again."
"... you know Scott is not the name of a State, right?"
Furt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you voluntarily change to the state of being a slave?
code_vector ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was traveling with his owner from their home state to other states. Some of those other states were slaves so he argued that once he stepped foot in there he should've technically been freed. There is more too it but that's me paraphrasing a 10th grade social studies class
kingpatzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a school teacher but a scuba instructor. I was taking a class out to on a qualification dive in a light drizzle. A student pointed at the scuba gear and asked "is it ok if this stuff gets wet"
svalis47 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but still. In 6th grade, a girl from my class thought that the vagina was the belly button. We tried to convince her that it wasn't so, but she didn't buy it. We then started to make fun of her, and she asked the teacher what the truth was.
NuclearChickadee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my senior year of high school I had a friend who insisted the sun was the largest star in the galaxy, because when you look up at the sky, the sun was much bigger than the other stars you see at night.
Malted_Shark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
at least he knew it was a star.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't "turn into the moon at night"
Immahustla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my students inquiry questions was "do chickens do live births?" he said chickens' eggs obviously didn't produce babies... I told him to carry on with his research.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a teacher now, but the dumbest answer i have ever heard came from when I was in college
It was a polisci class about legal systems and we were talking about american courts vs european courts. It was an open secret that the entire basketball team took polisci classes with this particular professor because if they showed up and turned everything in, they got a C- basically no questions asked (with the potential for a b or a if they earn it).
Professor asked one of the basketball players about courts in Latvia, because the guy is from there (he is a native english speaker), and the kid says "yeah we have court in Latvia."
As if that wasnt bad enough, about a month later we were talking about independece movements and how nation states get formed. Well, he asked a different basketball player to go over the way a a state gets formed. The kid thinks he means each state of the united states apparently, because he went into like a 3 minute nonstop mouth dump about the continental congress and how the new state would have to go to philadelphia and vote and how they have to start out as a colony, etc etc. Mercifully the professor stopped him and said, "okay what about countries?" and the kid said, "oh, I dont know about those."
jenthestudent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one night some friends and I were hanging out with some people we had just met. I was studying in England and whilst making small talk I mentioned my grandma had been stationed in York. One girl looked really confused for a bit, then a couple minutes later exclaimed "WAIT the World Wars actually happened?!" Turns out she thought they were made up as part of recent English legend, Hitler being the pantomime bad guy (slight exaggeration). She also struggled to point to anywhere but England on a map. She was 17 and completely of sound mind. I believe she graduated from secondary school the next year. I also should mention there is a GIANT memorial to the wars in the centre of her town.
BloodThirstyChimera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sheltered child maybe?
jenthestudent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even a little bit. It was actually quite baffling for her friends too.
iberg226 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was helping coach football and doing summer conditioning practices. The head coach explained a mirror drill (running side to side and mirroring a players moves like a defender would) and asked if there were any questions, adding that there is no stupid question. Then a freshman asked if he could take his shoes off for the drill. Coach retracted his statement and told him that was a stupid question.
HighestOfFives1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, but a girl in my class had some interesting questions for our history teacher: - Was Jesus born before or after the industrial revolution? - Our teacher was telling us that after the earth cooled down, plants started to grow, but there were no trees yet. her question was 'but how did they make paper then?'
She also stated at one time to have no idea how the gears in a bike worked. (she could change gears but had no idea how it mechanically worked) It seemed like magic to her.
She was quite good at math though so she had that going for her.
fun times
Tony_Blundetto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my high school American history class one day we were covering the JFK assassination, and our teacher brought up the "magic bullet" theory. A girl raised her hand and asked, very seriously "what's the difference between a regular bullet and a magic bullet?" This was 11th grade.
XchaoX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but in high-school we had a holocaust survivor come to our school and talk about what it was like in the concentration camps. Some of the questions that were asked have stuck with me to this day, and at the time made me feel embarrassed. One such question was "What did you do with your free time?" Luckily he took it in stride and poked a little fun saying "Oh, we would go down the street and get iced cream."
sidneythree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I took driver's ed, this one girl asked if blind people could drive. She thought they could hear where the road and other cars were. The teacher looked her straight in the eye and said, "Miss ____, I think you are a little bit 'special.'"
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<gasp> I get disabled parking? SWEET!
sidneythree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha she actually wrecked a car about a week after she started driving
ThomasMarkov ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a story about the most stupid answer ever given to a question.
Small Christian High School, doing sex ed. Afterward this kid named Tommy walks in to science class, taught by an elder of the church. The elder asks Tommy what he learned in sex ed: chuckles like Beavis "Wear a condom."
The teacher proceeds to yell at him for about 10 minutes, then asks him again "What did you learn, Tommy?"
chuckles like Beavis
"Wear two condoms."
He got suspended.
Iownamovingcastle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't slaves just like, go get a job that wasn't slavery?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did this until I was 7. I always thought it was weird that we had a supper dish named after an animal.
mmorrisftw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but while attending a Christian school our teacher was going over the Bible story of Cain and Abel. The teacher concluded the story with,"...Then Cain killed Abel." One fellow student took a moment, then with eager anticipation blurted, "Did he die?" No one, not even the teacher was able to hold in at least a little laughter.
beth_lw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a 7th grade science teacher pregnant with twins, a young boy asked if that meant I'd had sex twice.
Klokwurk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching high school geometry, and we were doing a unit test for formal logic. There was a statement on the test that was essentially, "if it is January, then it is winter in (our city, usa)."
I had a student call me over during the test and say, "Mr. Klokwurk, how an I supposed to know this?" after a brief conversation he followed this up with, "I don't even know all the months".
The next day while going over the test I had students write down on the back of the test their best guess of all the months in order. After collecting the tests I saw that only about 10% of the class got it all right. There were months missing, out of order, not to even mention spelling. These were 9th and 10th grade students.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
where the hell was this?
thevegitations ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one of my classmates asked, "Tio, how do you say uncle?" in Spanish class. (We called our teacher Tio because he was such a great guy. Everyone loved him.)
ToInfinityandBirds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's funny
Enzymic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but when I was in 2nd grade, a girl asked "Who invented Japan?".
SneaKyHooks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a few months back, in the 12th grade, a girl in my class, who is genuinely dumb, asked my history teacher in which hospital was Jesus born.
back_off_im_new ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did Hitler have anything to do with 9/11?
iispablo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher of English in Chile. While I was teaching to double the last consonant in monosyllabic verbs (e.g. hit - hitting), one of the students raised his hand and said they didn't understand.
I tried to explain again and mid sentence, the student goes: "But, sir, what is a consonant?"
jaedelasoul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is why i couldn't be a teacher. i'd constantly have this reaction when a stupid question is asked.
GwonamLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'd use something Doug Walker said when he was doing "Ask That Guy" (i don't really watch his videos anymore, but there is some good stuff there): "there is no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it"
Tinsa223 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My health professor told us a great story about this:
He was talking about quitting smoking, and mentioned that quitting cold turkey is one of the most effective methods.
A girl raised her hand and asked, "How does eating cold turkey help you quit smoking?"
This was a college health class, and she was in her mid 20s.
bgeiger12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was once helping my friend's sister with her online US history class. She was a freshman in college. One question had to do with the Civil War and she asked us "who did we fight in the civil war"? We convinced her it was France.
jpstew7794 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this is a favorite story my Spanish teacher used to tell classes in middle school:
It was one of the last classes of the year, and they had nearly completed the course. The teacher asked something along the lines: "Well, now that we're at the end, do any of you have any questions about me specifically?"
One kid in the back, who was always slacking off, pipes up and says, "Hey, does your wife speak Mexican too?"
...
NothingParticular ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an 8th grade student ask me what Obama's last name was. I just shook my head and walked away.
godlovesaliar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait, the sun and the moon are different things?"
The student was 18 years old. I teach GED.
kippller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a classmate once asked if Shakespeare was still alive
therealchipotle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Senior year of HS a classmate asks - "What's Shakespeare's last name?"
kittygotsoul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Does subtract mean you divide?"
...this was a high school student.
oneofa_twin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in English class in 8th grade and the teacher asked everyone to go to the shelf and grab a thesaurus. A student quickly responded, "I thought a thesaurus was a dinosaur."
H3imdallr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the age of 16, I explained to one of my female peers that breasts were for producing milk. Didn't believe me for a good 15minutes. Milk comes from cows udders, but humans don't have udders... but they do... they're just in a different place and called breasts.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She knows what they're for.
Khalidadinator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 16 year old in a science class asked me who invented seeds. Had to stop myself from laughing after I realised she was being serious.
foxachol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is buried but it's my favorite. I teach ancient civilizations from Australopithecus to the fall of Rome to 6th graders. At the end of the year, a girl looks like she's just had an epiphany.
"Was there, like, grass back then? Wait. Did it snow back then?" Terror in her eyes. "How did they survive?!"
We had learned about the ice age in September...
sebf919 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but i fellow student once asked "Why don't humans have a nugget body part like chickens?" thinking the chicken nugget was a body part, like a chicken breast.
Rainers535 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a girl in our science class who asked if anybody heard the big bang. I didn't whether to laugh or cry at that point.
Xenu4President ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A high school student once asked me, "If you put a hose over the Great Wall and turned it on, could you turn China into a giant swimming pool?"
quantasmm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:21:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rising oceans problem solved. Next.
TexasFordTough ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the great pool of china
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread has convinced me there truly are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of people lacking enough information to frame a question *effectively.
They may lack the intelligence to understand the information needed, they may lack the education, the skill, but it takes balls to put yourself out there, and I imagine quite a few of these people knew they would be mocked but wanted to learn anyway.
*Edit: effectively, not correctly
RickenbackerTW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one day our 5th grade teacher went up to the map of America and switched it out with a map of the world. Then a boy asks, "Wait, what? Is that what the world looks like?!". He had never seen a map that wasn't the U.S. and went on to explain how he thought the pyramids and Egypt were in Idaho or some other state.
Hollerdongs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do twins ever get confused and forget which one they are?
HawkProf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach calculus at a university. After several weeks of discussing infinity a student raised her hand and asked why that 8 was lying on its side. I kept a straight face but damn.
CapnShimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Substitute teacher here. Had a 17 year old girl ask me if 10 x 10 was 100,000 or 1,000,000. I didn't have to respond, as the rest of the class proceeded to mercilessly mock her.
BlaiddDrwg82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, this wasn't the stupidest but it was definitely the most awkward. A few years ago a 12 year old student is quietly sitting, reading a magazine, when she looks up and says "teacher...what's sex trafficking? I mean, I understand the sex part...but trafficking?"
I was like "Thanks Scholastic News."
shorterthanrich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not making this up. In high school Ethics class, which had some sex ed in it (I went to a catholic school) a girl asked about semen "Can I get pregnant if I, like, get it on my thigh?" It was beautiful.
She dropped out about 6 months later, then showed up to senior prom pregnant. The dad was the guy who sat in front of her in that class. I kid you not.
clearasguac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asked by high school biology teacher this:
โIf potatoes have 48 chromosomes like humans, would it be possible to impregnate a potato?โ
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's January right now???? What month comes next?
Saddest part was, you'd expect the entire class to jump on this kid for being an idiot... but no one was confident enough to do that.
axxenmardok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate once asked (in grade 10 history) how Martin Luther King became a king if black people were oppressed in America during his time.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what's important here is that if Martin Luther King was a king, then MLK Jr was a prince.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But testing a system instead of following instructions is way smarter...
frenchezz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Senior, filling out his college applications, "what does place of birth mean?" My response "sorry buddy this may not be for you"
Equally as bad, Junior in high school "what is a noun?" (no child left behind leaves every child behind)
uchupichu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reverse situation, I'm a student but I've had two separate uni profs with the most stupid beliefs/questions. One was a woman who believed the countries floated on the sea until she was nearly 20. The other only discovered birds have bones a year ago. He is over 40. One owns a science department or something in a pretty well know University, the other was a parent before she confessed to believing all land was mobile. I'll never understand physicists.
_My_Angry_Account_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you help me find Pangaea on this map?"
oloolloll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my teacher how to spell a word, I'm horrible at spelling. Predictably, she told me to look it up in the dictionary. I spent a solid fifteen minutes trying to find the word before asking her for help again. When she asked me if I'd looked under the letter it started with I said yes, and turned to the E's. She gave me the most incredulous are-you-serious look before telling me it started with an A. The word was "any."
UsagiBlitz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in 7th grade during a sex-ed unit the teacher had a box that we could put questions in if we had any and she would answer them. One was "can I get pregnant from a cucumber?" But the best one was where a student asked what a boner was so the teacher's aid saw the teacher got uncomfortable so he replied "Dude it's when your dick fills up with blood and falls off" guess it freaked out the kid because the following week we were learning about reproduction in whales and the kid started freaking out that he had a boner and was hysterical thinking his Willy was just going to fall off. Don't know what was funnier, the fact he got hot and bothered by whale sounds or the fact he actually believed the teacher's aid.
balloutrageous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but heard a classmate ask if black people were also homosapiens
jessicageek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my 3rd graders raised his hand and waited patiently for me to call on him to ask, "why don't I feel it when I fart?" This was during a science lesson about the life cycle of frogs, mind you.
yschmied ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
History class, talking about cattle classmate "Wait, meat comes from cows?" surprised teacher "Yes. Where did you think it came from?" classmate "I just thought it was there, I never really thought about it"
Tosf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a girl in my economics class asked my professor "if we can clone animals, why can't we clone money when the economy is bad"
my professor looked at her, asked the rest of the class "did we all hear that?"
Megamoss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S/O teaches food technology among other things. Pupil hadn't followed a recipe properly and wasn't happy with the result and, in all seriousness, asked:
"Miss, how do I unbake this cake?"
I think my brain shut down for a few moments and had to reboot itself when she told me about that one. God knows how she goes through stuff like that on a daily basis.
willdagreat1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Such things were not meant for man to know.
midnightking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a psych class on the biological roots of human behavior and the teacher talked about the evolutionary theories of Robert Trivers and how the mom always knows that the kid is her's but the dad doesn't, this tied into parental investment and how men are more likely to invest less than women on children.
A guy, at least 19, in the front row asked โHow do women ALWAYS know ?"
f4dedglory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay so this was from another science teacher but I loved it.
After watching live feed from the International space station; "What state is it in? I want to visit"
-__-
Lo22gan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just last year we had an English teacher that was pregnant. A student (who is our valedictorian) is book smart but has 0 common sense. She started talking about how when she grew up she wanted to have a boy and a girl. This leads her to ask what gender the teacher's baby will be. The teacher just found out she was pregnant a couple weeks ago so she of course said she didn't know what it would be. This led to the student saying "Wait, you don't get to choose if it's a boy or a girl?" The whole class including the teacher was in shock.
dryspellmel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach nursing and just this week we were discussing catheters. One student asked if it's easier to put one in a man or a woman. Before I could answer a student responded, "duh, obviously the woman is easier because look at how much bigger the vagina is compared to a man's pee hole." The worst part of this, the student is pregnant.
jawjuhboy05 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching students about when the Egyptians enslaved the Jews in World History when one student asks "how the Jews could have been slaves, because Jews aren't black." The entire class full of 15-ish year olds was stunned silent at the absolute stupidity of the question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here, but this one's worth it. In Spanish class in high school we were talking about Native Mexican tribes taking slaves from conquered tribes, a 17 year old girl raised her hand and asked "I thought slaves were black?"
killer3james ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was once teaching a class of 5th graders and one asked me after class:
"If China is 12 hours ahead of us, why didn't they warn us about 9/11"?
static_sea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but there was a girl in my class in high school who was surprised that bones could be found buried in the earth because she thought they would have been eaten by termites. When we pointed out that termites eat wood she looked confused and said "yeah, but bones are made of wood." She was 18.
ohtheironyhurts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A boy in my honors biology class randomly blurred out "wait there are beaches in Africa???"
Another person in my AP human geography class asked where the country of Islam was located on the map.
God save us all
iteriwarren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here I was upset with myself yesterday because I couldn't remember the exact circumstances of the Mexican-American War in 1848.
PeanutButter2016 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach pharmacy technicians about medications for specialty conditions (cancer, auto-immune disorders, etc). I was teaching about HIV and got some questions about why the medications don't always work 100% of the time. A valid question. One woman raised her hand and said, very seriously: Well bleach kills everything. Why can't they just have people with HIV drink bleach, but take out the part of bleach that makes it bad to drink?
needlepenus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher, but a kid in my 8th grade class once freaked out because the teacher said santa wasn't real. At first I thought it was a joke but he spend like 20 mins asking the teacher different questions about santa trying to make sure the teacher was telling the truth. He sat in silence for the rest of the class with tears in his eyes.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its brutal when the list of possible consolations to learning that santa isn't real is "getting laid".
HighTopsLowStandards ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Loads:
Aren't gherkins just burnt cucumbers?
Why don't fish drown?
Do sharks have noses?
Didn't mermaids just evolve into dolphins?
While watching The Social Network: "Why is Justin Timberlake saying he's an entrepreneur, isn't he a singer?"
Why did the Romans build so many ruins?"
I put the most stupid ones up on a poster at the back of my room. Kids love it.
Rockburgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...TIL a gherkin is a pickle. I thought it was an article of clothing.
kvyoung ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Undergraduate human physiology class, discussing female hormonal cycle. After explaining that the drop in progestin causes the endometrial lining to slough off, student raises his hand and asks, "what do you mean slough off?" [Me]"Well, I mean that the inner layer of tissue falls away." [Him] "But if that happened, where would it go?"
kam_sims ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question but I had this conversation with a 14 year old...
Kid: I'm thinking of making DMT (a hallucinogenic drug) and selling it to my friends. I read about it online and it doesn't look that hard.
Me: That sounds risky considering, ya know, you're not exactly a chemist and people could die.
Kid: I guess that's true. Maybe I'll wait until I take grade 11 chemistry.
Me: defeated Sure, let's go with that.
JT_5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened a few years ago when I was in highschool. I was in sophomore English one day and we were learning some new vocabulary. The word svelte comes up. (Slender, elegant, curvy) Teach goes on to give an example: Marilyn Monroe who wore a size 14. Naturally everyone in the class knows that he is referring to dress size, except my friend, who raises his hand and says "Wait, size 14 shoe!?"... teacher writes quote on the board and it stayed there until I graduated.
RG450 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was standing next to a sign that said "English Department."
Student walks up to me and asks, "Is this the mathematics department?"
thenonefineday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One girl in my choir class could not understand that a hippo has legs. She thought they were just huge floating logs with a face. I guess like a manatee, but when I asked if that's what she meant she said they were the same animal. She would not believe that they walked on land sometimes until we had our choir teacher look up pictures on his computer. Even then I don't think she fully understood.
kaylamariep2013 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a riding instructor, and I once had a young man ask me if he really needed to groom and ride the horse to pass into the next level. He hated getting dirty and didn't want to do any work, but threw a fit when I didn't pass him into the next riding level. His mother then informed me that he didn't need to actually ride because he knew all the information in his head. He had also asked me why we didn't tie up the male horses "stuff" to keep from distracting everyone...
superfudge73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can a planet be gay?
Doesn't the earth have seven suns? You know one for each day?
Is there grass on the sun?
What is the capital of Chicago?
Also this year I had a parent yell at me for brainwashing his kid by teaching the earth wasn't flat. I thought he was kidding then he preceded to try and show me a bunch of YouTube videos that would prove the earth was flat and saying I was ignorant because I refused to watch them.
fidelflicka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in Mexico (Puebla, near Mexico City) and I'm not a teacher, but when I was a student in high school we had a group of high school teachers from the US come to visit. (I want to say from Texas, but I don't quite remember). They came into our English class, already in Mexico, and proceeded to ask us questions like:
corrieh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just made my day. Thank you for this hilarious gem!
SkillFreeJake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some kid in my Law Enforcement class asked what prostitution was. Oh, wait. That kid was me. I was a sheltered kid.
ciofu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we know the speed of light, what's the speed of the dark?
I asked it. Long time ago. Got me the lowest grade because I messed up the speed of light. Still worth it!
Stupid_question_bot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I beg to differ....
vict54 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do I become a power ranger?
Anthrodiva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I also had a college student be unable to identify Europe on a map, where it had EUROPE written across it in bold....
Gorilla_Slap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl in my AP European history class in high school show genuine concern and outrage over the atrocities committed by Adolf Hitler during a section on WW2. She asked why no one has stopped him yet.
StephanieQ312 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I have the dumbest question I have ever heard.
Assignment: You have the choice to build your dream PC with a $7500 budget or a PC on a budget with $1000.
Student: "I'm sorry Mr. PC Teacher I don't have any money to spend on this assignment. Am I going to fail because I'm poor? I just don't understand how you expect us to do this. RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE"
Mr. PC Teacher: "Your using fake money as stated on the handout."
engnr16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back during my undergrad I was a part of a program that went out to the elementary schools and did chemistry demonstrations and discussions. The experiment in particular was if you mix a water and rubbing alcohol together, dip in a $10 bill and then light it on fire, it will just burn until the rubbing alcohol is gone and the bill is left unscathed. I asked the class what did they think happened, and after I got the correct answer we discussed it and I thought that was that. One girl proceeded to raise her hand and tell me that I was wrong and that it wasn't the water that protected the money, it was Jesus Christ because she prayed to him during the demonstration for him to protect the dollar just like she prays with her grandma everyday.
BKtoDuval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. The same guy who said give to Caesar what is caesar's, would protect a burning $10 bill? I think she needs more than Jesus' help
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught English in China for a while. The question I will remember forever is: "ไฝ ไปฌๆ้ปไบบ?" Or "Do you have black people [in Canada]?"
I said of course we do, and he looked amazed. He just couldn't believe that. I asked him if there were black people in China. He immediately said no. He was in grade 7.
Although, it is important to remember that in China the population is incredibly low and in a 'small town' they basically never have seen a foreigner.
shazi- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you teach? ๆฐๅนดๅฟซไน๏ผ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Macheng, Hubei. They told me it was a village and when I arrived it was a city of 1.2 million people. And happy new year to you too! :D
tehWoody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother is a teacher in the UK and was asked by a 15 year old, "if we leave the EU, do we still get to have pizza?"
ElEhZed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is the land and which is the water?
(Grade 9 student, so about 14 or 15, looking at a normally-coloured world map)
MeInMyMind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is the Earth a planet?"
It took me a few minutes to wrap my head around why she would think Earth was not a planet, but it took the rest of her high school career to overcome that.
billypilgrim08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The law of diminishing smartness applies, in some cases. Just today, a student asked the following series of questions:
"What is a compound sentence?" I answered, "A sentence with two independent clauses."
"What is an independent clause?"
"A clause that contains a subject, verb, and can function as a sentence on its own."
"What's a verb?"
That's when I ran out of steam.
Frog_Piss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow student: "Do feet have lungs?"
Iceman_B ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: grades that only make sense in certain parts of the world.
doubleplusgoodful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a parent, who is paying me to teach their child: "Would you like me to help teach your students [instrument the child is being taught by me]?"
CaughtMeALurkfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher myself, but my personal favorite happened in my senior year of high school during Physics class.
A few weeks prior, we had a student transfer to our school from Montana. Or maybe it was Ohio, I'm not entirely sure, but either way it didn't matter. You see, though she transferred from elsewhere in America, she was born and raised in Scotland and boy could you tell. She was like a tiny blonde Craig Ferguson, witty and sharp, charismatic as can be. Not a dumb girl, by any means.
Anyway, in class we had started to discuss friction, and the relevant formulae to calculate it. We're halfway through a problem calculating the static friction between a slope and the box upon it, and she raises her hand to ask her question.
"Mr. Johnson, what's a friction?"
There was about four seconds of crystalline silence, punctuated by the sound of crackling vertebrae as every single head turned toward her seat. She had enough time to squeak out a sheepish "Wot?" before all thirty kids and the teacher himself fell the fuck apart laughing. We had people walking down the hallway poke their heads in asking us if we were okay. Funniest fuckin thing I've ever witnessed.
FutureHistoryProf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teach history, and a student once asked something to the effect of "Was the reason Native Americans weren't enslaved as much as Africans because they could run faster and not get caught?"
LMNOBeast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach graphic design at a University so in my case I would say anything that can be answered by Google in under 5 minutes. One of the keys to education is learning how to learn. I find that helping students fix the small mistakes they make through independent investigation is more effective than simply telling them what to do. Teach them to fish and you feed them for a lifetime...
Jaston_Tanner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching a constitutional law class discussing Jerry Fawell v. Larry Flint (Hustler Magazine) and 1st amendment rights. To help the college students understand the depravity of Hustler (this was the 80s) compared to say, Playboy, I mentioned that one issue of Hustler actually had a "scratch & sniff" picture. Girl asked... "so what was it supposed to smell like?" Class over.
UneAmi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but something I over heard from two 15 years old Korean students in Canada. "Where is Afghanista, maybe somewhere in Africa?" she looks up and "it is in Middle East" where the fuck is Middle East ?! This was in 2007.
SolidSnake_Foxhound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago in my high school chemistry class (and this was in the honors program at a highly ranked school), I asked my chemistry teacher if we had to experiment with all of the lab samples. His warm, curious, and friendly eyes disappeared into a vaping sea of ungodly red fumes, he looked like a man possessed...or just an angry man constipated. So he screamed at me: "How stupid can you be! Everyone, listen to what he just asked! This is the stupidest question I've ever heard! Read the assignment! Look at it! Read right here! What does it say! You must do all of it! All of it! Stupid question!" Imagine this in a British accent (he was from England) and now my shame is as deep as the earth's core. Me, feeling like a dumb and embarrassed dunce, looked at the sheet and realized I missed the part at the bottom in bold and italics with several exclamation marks saying we must experiment with all of the samples. Yeah, I did not do well on that lab report lol. On the plus side, I ended up getting a B in his class plus his congrats which was especially nice since I got a 54% F on the final exam lol (highest score was a 66% D).
In 8th grade sex ed, a girl asked if a guy can pee and ejaculate at the same time. I don't think that was a stupid question on her part, but it definitely brings back memories. Our sex ed class was a complete joke too, I didn't learn anything about sex from it at all, all I learned was to use deodorant because my armpits were about to get stinky like Satan's asshole.
bravo009 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can finally contribute to one of these.
17 year old me with my classmates watching a video of a woman giving birth in Psychology class
One of my classmates asks: "Excuse me teacher, I heard that if a pregnant woman eats a watermelon, her baby will be born with a watermelon shaped head. Is this true".
icantmakeusernames ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can i use the bathroom?" - every college professor ( probably)
squat251 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"why is it called 'upside down?'"
_Search_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 7 student: "I know you have to take a spaceship to get to the moon, but can you walk back?"
Elizb04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Theae aren't really questions, but I teach public speaking at a Community College. The class is called, "Introduction to Public Speaking." You have no idea how many people are horrified to find they will have to speak in public. I've also learned (just this past semester) that, "Fatal accidents are occasionally deadly," and "Dublin, Ireland is in Germany and they speak Swiss." There are waaaaay too many of these to count.
gushingswine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had explained I drank soya milk instead of cows milk. A 16 year old asked me "What does a soya animal look like?"
Cire101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In music class I frequently will show videos of ensembles playing the pieces we're talking about. We learned about Vivaldi and the Four Seasons and I showed a video of Itzhak Perlman playing Spring. The kids asked if that was Vivaldi himself, I almost couldn't stop myself from laughing.
One kid out Bach was from America. He was born almost 100 years before America was a country. Like, come on, his name even sounds German.
These are 5-6 graders but I'd expect them to know recording technology wasn't around in the 1600s.
siyuri1641 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. In my 8th grade English class we were reading the play version of "Diary of Anne Frank." I don't remember how the discussion got around to this, but it was a perfectly relevant comment. Our teacher said "Right, because Jesus was Jewish." A very conservative Southern Baptist girl then yells, "What? Jesus was Jewish??" I turned to her and said, "what do you think 'King of the Jews' means?" The poor girl looked her foundation had just crumbled.
acaciapel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but heard of a girl in a film studies class, when told by the group (who were my friends, who told me about this) that they want to make a zombie film, didn't know what a zombie was.
They first thought she was joking and laughed as it was apparently perfect comedic timing, but it slowly became clear she literally had no idea what a zombie was.
_Stromboli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember the questions.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my history class asked what the Missouri Compromise was, but she pronounced it like "Missouri Com-Promise" instead. My best friend in the class lost his shit and still jokes about it today.
Ree81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An 18 y/o once asked if rockets 'pierce the sky'... as in "makes a hole" in the sky.
jaxmagicman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this movie old? Those look like real dinosaurs."
omnichronos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were in 8th grade sex education class when the son of a pig farmer asked, "Can a person get a pig pregnant?" We were certain we knew what he was doing in the barn. He was called "John the pig fucker" the rest of the year.
franzenstein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fully grown man asked me to install a gas cap on his car when I worked at autozone. Dumbest question ever and from an adult ?
redeemed53 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching 8th graders in Mississippi how to fill out forms one day. The form asked for Height in Feet and Inches. One girl raised her hand and asked me, "Why they wanna know how big my feet is?" All I could do not to laugh.
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If she really said "how big my feet is" it makes it so much better
t4bbris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 8th grade our sex ed class one of my classmates asked with the straightest face "If a guy pees in a girl's mouth, can she get pregnant?"
LemonsInMyAss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friends older sister is famous in our very small highschool for asking if the Underground Railroad was made of wood.
KaterinaKaterinaki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an A-level lesson (age 17) a girl read the word 'thermometer' from the board and asked "what's a thermo-meter?" "you mean a thermometer?" "OOHHH"
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:|
CrookedToast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NURSING student asked about spaying her dog: "do they just like, sew up the hole?"
U_Bahn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually a student at the time, but I witnessed possibly the dumbest question a student ever asked a professor. Taking a history class in college on colonial America and we were discussing the slave trade. Professor was discussing how awful slave ships were and how sailors tried to avoid working on them because they were filthy and dangerous. Extremely stereotypical sorority girl in the class raises her hand and asks why they just didn't cut a hole in the bottom of the ship to make it easier to clean the decks. Professor pauses for a second and then says, well the ships would sink if they did that. Sorority girl says, oh okay and writes something in her notes while the rest of the class just stares at her.
Myke_Ptyson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 10th grade a girl seriously asked, "Could the sun fit in the school?"
Timago ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We went skiing in the mountains in Italy in 7th grade and one girl asked if this would not be to hot since it is in Africa.
SeventhShin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when someone ask "Is this going to be on the test?" I want to kick them in the head. Oh it's not on the test? I won't learn it then. It might be worth becoming a teacher so I can kick kids like that out of my class.
didnotwanttoregister ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do fish have periods?
RememberMeWhenImDead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is this a stupid question?
didnotwanttoregister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you're being sarcastic.
RememberMeWhenImDead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I understand that fish don't have a uterine tract, and that that makes shedding the uterine lining impossible, however I assumed that it was a child asking the question, who may not be familiar with the difference between mammalian and chordata anatomy. So no, I'm not being sarcastic, I'm asking you why it's a stupid question.
mrssac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about live bearers like guppies and platys?
RememberMeWhenImDead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea, that's another interesting question that I would love to hear the answer from someone who knows significantly more than I do about fish
Spyder726 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Work in NYC (4th grade 10 year olds) went to the Natural Museum of Art with our own tour guide. Class sits down in front of a painting of a woman with apples. Child asks "Did people eat food back then?" Tour guide looks at me like is this kid pulling my leg. I give her the look like "no that's a serious question" and the tour guide answers. Mind you this child's parent was a chaperone....I can only imagine how proud she felt.
Arkenzie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question but we were talking about science and how much PSI a basketball contained 8lbs of pressure. Dead ass serious this girl turned around and said, "wow they're throwing heavy bowling balls around!"
Va1kyria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Europe is in Germany, right?"
montro898 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ems/medic instructor we were practicing birthing a child with fake pelvis and baby when a student asked "what do you do if you drop the baby?" Just looked him in the eye and said "You pick it up" then class erupted into laughter.
wynnray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College chemistry prof here: I used to say that there were no stupid questions until a student walked in to chem lab and asked "what are we doing today?" showed lack of required preparation.
UrethraFrankIin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In history class:
"Does anyone know who Genghis Khan was?"
"Ain't that a kind of Lizard?"
PabloJill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but (UK) student, there was once a kid in my history class who asked if Hitler did 9/11.
KingArya30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a senior in HS when they announced there would be a ban on driving and talking on your phone at the same time in California.
A girl raises her hand and says, "What about texting and driving?"
My teacher looked down, shook his head, and went to his desk without saying a word.
thedoctor32145 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a classmate ask if Obama was the president of South America too. Yes, South America and not the American South
voteforbutts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why did Ray Charles kill Martin Luther King Jr?"
robxburninator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are cows real?
Localvirgin69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 6th grade I asked a teacher if Hitler was a real person. Up until a week prior I had never heard his name or of the holocaust and was skeptical that something that evil could be real. He thought I was just being an asshole.
dumbledorito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a girl in my senior year of high school who thought your cervix was your cervical vertebrae. She's now a nurse.
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Live and learn I guess
Ootman23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my friend's human geography class they were discussing language. The teacher asked what the official language of the United States is (trick question by the way; the U.S. doesn't have an official language). One girl thought it was Mandarin.
LoneGazebo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a World Civilizations II course to Freshmen in college. During a discussion on European colonization in the 15-16th centuries, specifically the Columbian Exchange, a student smugly asked me this question: "Wait, if Columbus wasn't American, then how did he know he had discovered America?" Needless to say I was stumped.
Side note: in the same class, on a midterm examination, one of my students wrote an entire essay about Europeans 'exploding' all around the world. Exploding here, exploding there, exploding all over the place. "Columbus went west and exploded." I called the student into my office. Explored. They didn't know how to spell the word 'explored.'
rhythmofmadness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a 16 year old ask me where Islam is on a map.
Another 16 year old (different class) asked if male cows made milk.
And a 14 year old recently asked if Trump was our King. We live in the U.K...
Zezarict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is the first one a stupid question? The average person doesn't know that.
everyone1hatesme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In grade 9 science the teacher asked us to draw a picture of the sun and this girl asked how.
nik5016 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why does it take longer for a rocket to get to the moon than a plane to get to China when rockets are faster?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the age of the child that's a pretty smart and valid question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, I was a young student in middle school when I came up with this gem...in front of the entire school during an assembly. Some sort of local luminary was giving a speech lauding the announcement that a major car manufacturer would be opening a new factory in our hometown, employing thousands of people. This official then asked the audience if anybody knew why they chose our area. I promptly raised my hand and said it was because we had a lot of car dealerships.
Why? What was I thinking? Thirty years later I still want to crawl into a hole and die.
clearing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that bad. No reason to be kicking yourself for 30 years.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but one time in class my environmental science teacher showed a picture of a venus fly trap and asked the class what it was. I'm positive at least 90% of us knew what it was, but no one felt like participating. So she called on this ratchet ass Mediterranean girl who was always talking to her friends behind me and this bitch said "I don't know, cactus?" This was two years ago. We were seniors in highschool.
Hailsp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 12th grade English class while discussing a novel, the "token blond girl" throws her hand up and randomly asks the teacher "what are hemorrhoids"
There was no mention of them anywhere in the book, it was hilarious.
ImSchland ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a class we were discussing World War 2 and the Nazis. Given that I teach the German language, this isn't a topic that we can or should avoid. We watched a few short films and then held a class discussion.
During the discussion one of my students had a puzzled look on his face and raised his hand. "Wait," he said quizzically, "Hitler was German?! I thought he was British!"
The other kids started laughing and I know I probably gave him a dismayed look. I didn't even have the heart to correct him that Hitler was Austrian.
For reference, this was a high school student who had previously taken (and passed) world history.
slowmedownnot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 8th grade during a sex ed class one of my classmates asked, "Can your penis fall off if you have butt sex? Like, because of the doodoo." He couldn't even say it right from all the laughing him and the class were having.
spacefairies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my health class asked if you can become pregnant by swallowing. She ended up in Porn.
Gizortnik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the teacher, but I doubt the teacher ever heard one stupider than this:
Sex ed, describing the fact that nipples serve no major biological purpose for men:
Teacher: "They don't really serve any purpose. Humans aren't the only animals with nipples either. For example, dogs can have 7."
Student raises hand: "Is that why they can hear so good?!"
Teacher: "... I ... .. eh..."
everyone stares in stunned silence
wat
BeyrlemanOG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid who thought the world was flat. Like legit flat as a pancake. Needless to say we discussed basic physics that day. Next came vaccines and also what climate change really was. I should say this was a senior level class....
joelthezombie15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I asked one of my teachers this years ago.
He said it was a question he got earlier that day when a kid asked "when did people start seeing in color?" The teacher didn't understand so he asked the kid to elaborate.
The kid thought since movies and tv were in black and white that that's what the people all saw in the real world. And he thought eventually we developed the ability to see color...
NoticedGenie66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the air speed of an unladen swallow?
BiaxialObject48 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
31-40 miles per hour.
NoticedGenie66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I've never got a straight answer to this question
Skywarp79 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dumbass 17-year-old in high school, during a discussion of mammory glands, asked the biology teacher, "So, when there's like a really fat guy that has boobs, do his boobs have milk?"
Teacher looked at him like it was the dumbest thing he's ever heard. "No."
Austin_RC246 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory Not a teacher, but a girl in my high school geography class asked which state the Great Wall of China was in.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a school that caters to both Protestant and catholic children in Northern Ireland. We had a few cross community outreach classes, where other schools (which weren't mixed religion) would send students. They would learn to hopefully accept all faiths. (Which was crazy to me, as religion played little part in the day to day lives of my friends and I).
Skip to one of these 'outreach' classes. We're all sat reading and a girl from a catholic grammar school turns to a girl from a Protestant high school and asks 'So, is your Jesus the same Jesus as my Jesus?' The teacher had to leave the room.
SweptFever80 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, in my school we were taking down main religions in Northern Ireland, I'm pretty sure one guy wrote Christian and Protestant as different points
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am originally from the south of Ireland. I had no idea they were different until I got called names in the street. I was damn ignorant to all the nonsense going on around me.
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's still not the best, even these days
Rockburgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...are they not? Or is Christian the general name for all the groups that split off from the same origin?
SweptFever80 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes Catholic and Protestant are both denominations of Christianity, but there are lots of Protestant denominations also
Rockburgh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL. Thanks.
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem
HeatMeister02 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's up with that upside-down I?"
"You mean the exclamation point?"
"Nah the upside-down I? I never seen that before."
I teach in high school...
mpronk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i remember a question in a textbook that said something like: ask somebody around you what their favorite dish is.
a teacher walked by and i said: Hey miss! what's your favorite dish?
she said: that's something you really like to eat!
she must have thought i was so dumb...
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, who'd have thunk it
bodhemon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was a teacher's assistant in a middle school. Some kids were walking down the hall in front of her quoting Beavis and Butthead and she asked them, "Are you threatening me?" Their jaws hit the floor.
Saturnaiden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was an art teacher for six year olds. We were on the topic of outer space and one of them asked me "so what is the real name for Uranus?". I had to break it down for her, the poor thing.
Gsteel11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not school, but at work there was a guy who didn't know time zones existed. It was like he had never even considered the idea.
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is a pretty hard concept to think about when you're younger but if this guy's an adult...
nicholai_he1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there are no such things stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.
tifftafflarry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was President Lincoln okay?"
polar_burrito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when I was a freshman in high school I asked my history teacher, "why didn't the romans and Greeks ever go to war with each other?"
AddiCrack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 experiences, not a teacher, but in my 6th grade class, my teacher breifly brought up the holocaust, and this girl who was notoriously stupid (still is) yelled "Whats a hall of cost?" and instantly everyone fell out of their chairs laughing. Second, in my science class, i think was fourth grade, we were talking about basic elements, and another notoriously stupid girl shouted "Who invented water?!". Good times.
clearing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A least she was curious about the word.
Hopefully the teacher discouraged the class from laughing and gave a serious answer.
I don't think someone is unbelievably ignorant if they haven't heard about the Holocaust by sixth grade. Maybe kids younger than this don't need to be exposed to all the worst things that have ever happened in the world.
AddiCrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i totally agree with you, and the teacher did give her a real answer after a little bit of a chuckle. no one was laughing because she didnt know what it was, even though most people did, but they were laughing at how confidently she mispronounced it, but i also dont blame that on her. but really though, excluding that, she is very annoyingly stupid and she also happens to be very racist and hates fat people, so what can ya do
nanner_hammer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you get decapitated, are you headless in heaven?
Element_108 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry im late, im not a teacher but a classmate asked if Hitler lost the war on purpose so he didn't have to pay the banks for there loans
Yep
Stripehound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a teacher of small children but the best thing was said by my own son at the age of 3 he looked at his testicles whilst in the bath and sighed asking "Why have I still got these?" A perfect question, think about it. We often talk to little boys about their willies or whatever you ant to call it, but rarely mention their testicles. He thought they were some sort of irrelevance that would just fall off at some point.
lambo1109 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 4th grade teacher was talking about how one of her childhood friends lived in a house that was apart of the underground railroad. The house had a secret room/spot they used to play in. I asked if she ever met a former slave in there.
poppycarnation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Middle school kid at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum...
"WOAH! Is that the actual plane that Amelia Earhart crashed and disappeared in???"
ksnizzo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Live in South Carolina...10th grade student didn't know what ocean was on the East Coast.
BuckleupBirds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a waiter. Sooo, sorry. A man walked past 8 outside tables and a second entrance, and asked me, the guy standing in front of two towers of booze, if "he was in a restaurant." Fine I get it, it might just be a bar. I give him one resounding "yes" and he follows up with do you serve food. One of these is a stupid question
Eyesocketlollipop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student-. Miss, have you ever had a yeast infection? What is a yeast infection?
Me-. You need to talk to your mom about that.
Student- My mom gets them all the time.
Me- uh???????
ChrissyChrissyPie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a Romeo and Juliet test, I ask the kids to categorize characters by family (Montague, capulet, neither). It tickles me so much to see them pondering Cornholio and Serafina that i just keep using them year After year-Even though Beavis and Butthead has been off for years. "I don't remember Cornholio...i think i missed that part..." "perhaps you did. " "wait...he's a Montague!"
runcycler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a junior in high school, a girl asked "Wait... Forest Gump wasn't a real person? What about those black and white scenes?"
wanderlust_0715 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Spanish teacher used to have a sign that said, "There are no stupid questions" in her classroom. She took it down after her first year of teaching because one student, after an entire year of learning Spanish asked when they were "going to learn the Spanish alphabet and use it instead of the English one".
craft876 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th Grade Earth Science, remember it like it was yesterday.
"What's stronger, hot or cold?"
Ginkyi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but was in class with someone who asked a stupid question. We were learning about the American Civil war. Even though the war had ended some soldiers did not know and kept fighting. A student asked "Why didn't someone call them on their cellphones to let them know that they lost."
Jason1311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What state is Minnesota in...." What are u talking about it's a state" ".......what about the Minnesota Vikings?"
yelrambob619 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it true that asians vaginas are sideways? ......from an adult woman.
sahdude88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was a teacher for 30 years, she always said that there was a correlation of people that got erasers stuck in their ears and noses, and them going to prison later in life. It happened like four times.
lemonsqueezers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fourth-grade. Confused ponies with Unicorns. Was convinced ponies ARE unicorns and that unicorns exist.
quiltquilt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got the winner. We were making food pyramids. 8th grade.
"Name some fruits to go in this part of the pyramid" Girl raises her hand, ecstatic "Skittles! Are skittles a fruit?" "No-" "OH cough drops!!! "
I don't know what happened to her. The last thing I heard she'd bought a car with no drivers door or windshield.
trevy_f ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a dumb question when I was a TA and had a student ask if they could make an announcement before section started. I said it was fine as long as it had to do with the school in some way. She said yes and right before I started class I called her up to make her announcement. It ended up being an announcement for a dubstep festival she was a promoter and DJ for in downtown Baltimore. She then went on to hand out flyers to the entire class.
treeofeden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my high school magnet math program that is ridiculously hard to test into, somebody asked what the xy coordinate plane was...
Nibodhika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, (well I have reached some classes, but this was when I was a student's student'sโstudent'sโstudent) but at a chemistry class in college, after a lengthy explanation about how when burnt electrons gain energy, and how when they release this energy they emit light whose wavelength (and therefore color) depends on the position of the electron giving the effect that different elements produce different color fire when burnt. The teacher then burnt some iron and the fire changed to red a colleague of mine asked "wow, why did that happened?", To which the only reply the teacher could give was "is he like that with everyone, or is he fucking with me?".
We called him the "special", he wasn't exactly dumb but also not the sharpest pencil in the box, and when put next to a bunch of aspiring engineers his dullness became more apparent. He was also extremely religious, to the point of preaching in the bus (I unfortunately lived close to him) and even on class (he tried to argue with our physics teacher that there wasn't a scientific explanation for rainbows).
McWaddle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every class period, every day: "What are we doing today?"
/points to the same spot on the board where the day's agenda is written every damned day
BornLoozer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you want me to put my name on the line that says NAME?" - from a college student
rempae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching college I had a student ask me if "hence" was a person. Hence, her failed grade. Jk
lolasroses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher of 8th graders. Two years ago, I had a boy walk back into the classroom after a visit to the restroom. He happily strolled back into class while playing with what appeared to be a used plastic tampon applicator. There was no wrapper, no tampon, just the plastic applicator. And he was playing with it on his desk.
I believe I may have quietly gasped.
Me: "Where did you get that"?
Him: "Othe ground outside of Mr. A's class."
Me: "Do you know what it is? "
Him: "No."
Me: "Okay, go throw it in the trash outside and wash your hands with soap for 60 seconds. Count it out. Then, come back to class"
Him: "What is this thing?!"
Meanwhile I sanitize EVERYTHING he touched.
Upon his return, I explain calmly-that it appeared to be a used tampon applicator. He appeared confused. He very slowly processed the information and the gradual change that crossed his face -from curiosity to horrified revulsion--was kind of priceless.
The stupid question? The stupid question came next. Pointing to me, he asked: "Can we keep this just between the two of us- it's very embarrassing."
I answered: "Who do you mean by "us"? As I asked, I gestured toward my left. The classroom of 23 students had witnessed the entire exchange. The girls were all gagging and the boys were either also gagging or baffled.
Second stupid question:
I had written the following log-in information on the whiteboard:
Username: abcstudentnumber Password: abcstudentnumber
About ten minutes into the activity, a student raises her hand and says: I've tried to login in 5 times! It's not working-- So, i walk over.
You guessed it: instead of writing her actual student number- the numerals-the digits- she had actually tried to log in by writing "abcstudentnumber".
Sadly, I have many more examples and stories; I fear that some of these kids will be our doctors when we are old.
Meebus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but during a debate in 10th grade American studies about social opportunities in the '20s, a kid responds to a figure on KKK recruitment by posing the question "But is the KKK really racist?" in complete seriousness. Needless to say, the debate did not go in that teams favor.
DavidF1198 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school during our History class the teacher played us a film that wasn't in color. This one girl asked the teacher if he was alive before people saw color. She honestly believed that the world was black and white until after the 50s.
Danacus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student at history class once asked: "How did they knew that milk came out of a cow?"
sieberi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher but i once asked my best friend if her gym class was co-ed. she said no, it's phys. ed.
Snikisan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Geography teacher here. I teach adults. I get this question every time I get new students: How can the water in the Nile flow upwards?
beingwitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching computer science in college (back when floppy disks were still a thing) and a panicked girl came up to me saying the computer told her there was a virus on her disk....was it safe to keep it with her other disks in her disk caddy?
clintbartnn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a girl in my class who insisted that pirates were entirely made up.
imoutofthrowaways ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school let seniors be a TA for extra credits. Decided to go with my favorite teacher and help her out, and she taught geography to freshman. I thought that most people ought to have a basic grip of geography by that point. US, Europe, continents. At least I had learned that in elementary school.
We were working on prepping for the final, and this girl asked if France was in the United States.
In grad school, I was a TA for a chem101 class. Girl straight up argued with me that ice and water are different. (As in ice could not be frozen water. Totally seperate.) I can't remember why it came up but she asked me if ducks were fish because they swim. I asked, "I can swim. Am I a fish?"
Burnsidious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach courses related to computer programming, specifically video game development. When student's ask questions about their projects we always try to help them to find the answer on their own, as opposed to just telling them what to write. This usually involves asking the student a simpler question whose answer will lead the student to find the answer to their original question.
So once, I had a student ask for some help, and while trying to lead them to an answer I asked the student, "What is 32 - 16?"
"Ooh, I know this," says the student as they bring up the calculator app on Windows. They type in 32 - 16 and hit enter. Right before they hit enter, the calculator screen read "16", then they hit enter and it still reads 16, since that is the answer. So then the student hits enter again thinking the first time didn't work, the calculator now displays 0, and you can just see the students brain break. I ended up having to get this college student, who was studying computer programming, to solve the 32 - 16 problem on paper before they started to realize what went wrong.
Fourtothewind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school we had a school wide talk about cancer and cancer awareness. We had a survivor on stage who was willing to share his experience.
While he was talking about losing all his hair through chemotherapy, one kid brilliantly asked, "Does that mean your pubes fell out too?"
Cancer survivor moved onto the next question like a boss.
nospamkhanman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question at all, not appropriate maybe but not stupid.
Fourtothewind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was so long ago I've always just classified it that way in my head, but on reflection yeah, it's not inherintly stupid. If i had asked it I probably would have facepalmed all the same.
I think it was mostly my association with that kid- he was not a very understanding person altogether.
reheapify ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I am probably stupid for asking this, but... does it?
compadv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking as a survivor who recently completed chemo....yes. Yes, it does.
mmoffitt15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a high school science teacher, I often go off on tangents about how much better the metric system is than the American (Imperial) system. We started talking about how cooking would be different using celsius temp rather than farenheit.
A student sort of quitely said, "if you get a cookbook that uses metric, do you have to get a new stove?"
I quietly turned to face the class and said, "This new cookbook cost me $10,000 becasue I had to get all new appliances!"
We all laughed but I feel bad for making fun of students.
Dr_Freeman_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My classmate once asked "is Rhubarb a metal?"
GracefulWorld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anyone have any questions before we begin the test?" (Hand goes up, call on 9th grader) "Yeah, how do you cook shrimp? Like, a grill? Or in an oven? Microwave??"
In the media center, while working on Wild West research projects: Student: "So the NFL was a thing back then??" Me: "What do you mean?" Student: "It says my guy plays for the Steelers..." Me: "WRONG JESSE JAMES."
ZetaInk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the student.
My dad (who has done a lot of traveling and seen a lot of different religions) wanted me to grow up and decide on my own religion. As such, it was really only ever something I was tangentially aware of. I am currently taking an art history class which spans Renaissance to modern and it involves A LOT of catholic stuff for obvious reasons. Anyway, we were looking at Masaccio's Trinity and my professor was stressing the the literal interpretation of communion. Now, I kind of knew what communion was in that I was aware people eat the bread and drink wine and for whatever reason that had to do with Jesus. I thought he could turn garbage into food or something, I never really thought about it. What she explained was that the wine was quite literally believed to be his blood and the bread his flesh. Disturbed, I just immediately blurted out, "They want to eat him?!" and my professor just burst out laughing and was like... "well, yeah". The other students did not laugh though. Some of them are clearly catholic and I could feel them starring daggers at me. The guy next to me, who I have chatted with before, gave me a cold, "it isn't like that".
To religion, I am very sorry, I did not mean to be insensitive. Your art is very cool and I appreciate what you do for humanity. I was just surprised by the whole zombie/vampire thing and my thoughts vocalized when I did not mean for them to.
cryospam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is true that there are no stupid questions. It is also however true that there are lots of stupid people asking questions for which they should already know the answers.
Blck0ut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student in my Western Civ class asked me if the Europeans had the wheel in the 1400's.
atech087 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But did they have the wheel in the 1400's??
Blck0ut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck if I know.
Loofahkme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party and I'm not a teacher but in my geology class we were doing a unit on the solar system and the teacher mentioned how the moon was slowly moving away from Earth. One girl yells out, 'So if the moon is moving away from Earth, does that mean one day we won't have night time any more?'
This was senior year of high school and this is the stupidest question I have ever heard. Even the teacher chuckled before explaining 'night time' to the class.
jef2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student 1: "Do goats lay eggs?"
Me: "Uhm, no." (Students giggling)
Student 1: "Are goats pork?"
Me: "No." (Lots of giggling)
Student 2: "You are so ignorant!"
Student 1:"So what. I don't even know what that means!"
daneelthesane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My father was a high school band director. A student who was known to be a little off psychologically (but otherwise not learning disabled or anything) came to my father with his french horn, saying it did not work. My father gave it an experimental toot and discovered that he couldn't even get air through it. So he told the student he would take the horn and fix it.
Later that day, he examines the horn closely and discovers a portion of the horn was flattened. Looking closer at the marks on the metal, Dad made a mental calculation and realized it was about the right shape and size for a human bite.
So Dad straight-up asked the student the next day if he had bitten his french horn. The student said, "Yes. Why? Do you think that broke it?"
SensitiveSunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student. In high school we were learning about Christopher Columbus, and one topic that came up was sending messages back to the King. The teacher talked about how it usually took months for the King to hear anything from Columbus. This girl raises her hand, then asks "But miss, why didn't they just e-mail?"
SensitiveSunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another time in Science we were talking about fossil fuels when this guy raises his hand, "Miss, how come we don't just make our own fossil fuels? Wouldn't it be cheaper?"
cyamrus10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a 7th grade science teacher. She was showing her kids something on a map and pointed out Alaska up north next to Canada. One student raised their hand and said "that's not Alaska." She said "what do to mean it's not Alaska? Where is Alaska then?" And the student goes "in a box in the Pacific Ocean next to Hawaii." Dead serious.
MrsMxy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but two weeks into a course on Nazi Germany, one of the students raised his hand and said "Wait, I thought Hitler saved the Jews." If looks could kill, that professor would be on Death Row right now.
Suqawnit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But one day in geology 101, we were discussing areas of unique or interesting geology. The professor mentioned Craters of the Moon national monument in Idaho. A guy in class raises his hand and, when called on, asks with a straight face "why is it called that?"
The professor, obviously caught off guard, causally responds "... because it looks like the moon... ", and maintains eye contact with the person in a shocked silence for a solid 5 seconds before moving on (pregnant pause, if you will).
I looked at the person sitting next to me and we both completely lost it. Maintaining composure for the remainder of class was almost impossible. I still giggle thinking about it.
And as far as I could tell, the question was 100% genuine. The person who asked was generally quiet, more so for the rest of the term.
brainchildmedia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the student living in AZ. Saw a map of the US without Mexico and Canada, so I asked why we go to California for the beaches when we could just go to our own down south. Teacher pointed out that Mexico is in the way. In my defense, who makes a map and leaves two major countries off of it?
frankfontaino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats nationalism for ya.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 10th grade world cultures, there was a girl who insisted that there were 53 states. When we told her "No, there's 50" she giggled and said "I'm including Alaska and Hawaii!"
I still don't know what the 53 state is.
SmashTrophy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the teacher myself but I had this really good algebra teacher and he told us one time he was teaching and a student by the window in the room asked "can I let this cricket out the window?"
4-8-9-12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Grade-10 enriched math and the teacher referenced a solution to an equation being zero. A classmate puts up his hand and very honestly asks "negative zero or positive zero?". This was enriched math, not basic, not intermediate, not advanced. Enriched.
OrlokKhajiun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got into an argument in grade 11 religion once with a girl who was very angry with me for claiming that Jesus was not white-he was middle eastern how could he be- and that he was Jewish.
Longest and most pointless argument I got into in high school
nl1004 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't tell if you're trolling.....
nl1004 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't tell if you're trolling.....
MadMardiganWaaait ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but in 6th grade science class a kid was annoyed our teacher was saying there was no cure for cancer yet. When asked why he was getting upset the kid said "even I know the cure for cancer! My grandpa told me!". When asked what it was he replied "a thousand herbs and spices!". He was so sure of his answer. So much laughter. Our teacher corrected him and told him he was mixing up cancer with Kentucky Fried chicken.
BrewMasterDros ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are definitely stupid questions:
"So, like, when an astronaut is doing a space walk and they're looking at the earth, can they, like..." makes a pawing motion "...reach out and touch it?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dude in my class asked our teacher, after our test on WW1 and WW2, what Hitler was doing nowadays.
makiodaflash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chillin with tupac in cuba duh
andre300000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The professor said that "all assignments must be stapled."
Student: "Does it have to be stapled if it's a single page?"
samuelludwig74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future programmer right there
Arcticflare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So do Draculas really come from Pennsylvania?"
youcantgobackbob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me who wrote Dante's Inferno.
NehEma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was written by Inferno, isn't that obvious ?
youcantgobackbob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it is!
flickus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was slavery real?"
jspangles313 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was explaining to students that where I grew up, we had well water instead of city water. A student asked me, "you telling me every day you had to get water out of a well wuthering a bucket?" I understand why city kids would think that, but I will remember that one for a long time!
NehEma ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it is a pretty understandable question from a city kid.
jspangles313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:28 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I understood, but it gets me every time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a classmate ask what would happen if she put her hand in lava in 9th grade.
mickjmorg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From an 8 year old: Did they not even have Nokia phones on the titanic?
blueeyedfloozy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student ask me if people could live without a pancreas. Not a stupid question in itself, but when I asked why she asked, she followed up with "well the woman loses her pancreas after she gives birth, so can she live without it, or do they push it back in?" I really hope she was getting the pancreas and placenta confused.
HolaAvogadro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but once had someone ask me where Egypt was and when I told them Africa, they called me an idiot and denied it was in Africa until I pulled up a map. The look on his face was priceless
Maox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't understand why they breed those Belgian Blue cows, they're just all muscle. What's there to eat on them?!"
Permafox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While definitely wrong in its own right, I've met a lot of people who stand by their beliefs that lean beef is for people who don't actually like steak, and that the fat is the only way to get any flavor.
Not saying they're right, but they are out there.
almostweekend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do seashells that have been inside for a long time also sound like the sea? -- not a student, my friend at age 25
Shatty23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"what's my name?"
dropkickkennedy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend has a student in grade 5 do "are chipmunks the world's smallest smallest animal?" As her topic for the science fair.
KiLoYounited ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do I need to study for the study day?"
xtinebelcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husbands friend's girlfriend asked "if the sun is so hot why doesn't it steam when it goes down (into the ocean)" - we were in college. She is now a district attorney. Hahahahaha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but, once a friend of mine asked if people on china were japanese
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
China says they are Chinese, they just don't know it yet.
StrikezZTrading ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher but a student, a girl in my biology class once asked this while we were talking about the down sydrome: "So if theres a down syndrome, is there also an up syndrome ?"
craft876 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a guest speaker, a cardiologist, in 7th grade science class. One student asks..
"What happens when you swallow something and it gets lodged in your heart?"
DrNO811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would've loved to get that question....answer: "Well, you would likely die...but don't worry, you would have to swallow something very large and sharp to have that happen and you would have to have amazing control over your asophagus."
mbok_jamu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually believed this when I was in kindergarten. I thought if I swallowed fish bone, it will stab my heart.
craft876 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha kind of like the old... swallow a watermelon seed and it grows inside you!
cassabunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have a Management Information Systems class, and on the board it said "Log into classroom pc." This kid next me goes on to google on the classroom computer, and searches "classroom pc"
biogirl52 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ex told me this story about how his mom used to tell him that chocolate milk came from brown cows. He believed this like his own personal gospel and shared it loudly and proudly with the class.
Crazy_Eagle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was in an auto tech class in high school, we were learning how to weld and during a video the teacher showed us, this one guy asked "if we can't look at the light when welding how come the video doesn't hurt our eyes?"
The look on the teachers face was priceless.
KhabaLox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin
Danguski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During HW time while explaining a multiplication problem to a 5th grader, I asked her "Ok, so what's 4 times 7?" she turned her head and looked directly at me and said out loud "Wait, you don't know?!" the whole class busted out laughing including myself, she just looked confused.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching history of psychology, specifically on behaviorism and its founder John Watson.
student: so if behaviorists don't believe in free will, how come Watson espouses it in Sherlock Holmes?
me: ? ...
AshleyAurora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in the 7th grade I was taking world history. At the time we were studying the reign along with geography of Africa. We were studying some hand drawn maps of some empire in Africa when my history teacher asked the class "how do you think he was able to chart out this map?" (This map was at least 2000 years old) I raised my hand but as usual I didn't get picked. Instead the girl behind me (who never even raised her hand) got picked. In her annoying stereotypical valley girl accent. "Uh, did he use a drone?" My teacher was in disbelief. "Um, cause like, they could just put their iPhone on their drone and like take a picture looking down and then like print it."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you in 8th grade now? Drones haven't been around very long haha
AshleyAurora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm not in the 8th grade but a bit older.
broand26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in high school. A person in my class asked "if Buffaloes are nearly extinct why do we eat there wings?"
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I flip it around?
Our geography teacher wasn't the brightest. She made a reference to Africa and pointed on world map to South America. The class laughed for like half a minute.
Ofnir_09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I'm reading this thread (It's Friday, back off) a student asks me "Isn't Washington D.C. in Oregon?" without an ounce of sarcasm in her voice and I replied "no, but your question now lives in Reddit"
Edit: Comma
gmsteel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The two examples that i can remember are. "Do protestants believe in Jesus?" - from a girl with a very catholic family. The other was a different girl who was adamant that everyone had red and blue blood because the veins are different colours.
username-fatigue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but a kid asked me to check his draft speech once.
It started: 'Today I'm going to talk about raping. It's fun, it's cool, and it's sort of a sport.'
TWO P'S! Rapping has two p's.
Sigouin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my grade 9 biology class, the teacher was talking about how the body will regenerate new skin over time to heal wounds and such.
A girl raised her hand and i shit you not, asked the teacher how long it would take for an arm to grow back.
Youre in grade 9 bitch! wtf do you mean "how long for an ARM to grow back" !?
AngryTudor1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What? You mean black people DON'T have black skeletons?"
This student was 16 and about to take her final exams
Rocky_Road_To_Dublin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Kevin
BlitzOn3rdDown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to help a particularly spacey student (6th grade) to find a book. After multiple failed attempts to find it himself, I started to help him go through his bag. It was a completely disaster, and I told him "I might need to start giving you a grade for keeping your bag and supplies in order." He said, "Really??? What color?" Dumbfounded, I told him to go to the shelf to borrow another copy of the book. When he stood up, I saw that he was sitting on the book in question. When I pointed it out to him, he said "Can I use that one?"
BeholdPlatosMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I'm not a teacher and this didn't happen in a class room, I have to share. I was dating a girl once who lived in San Diego and I lived in Orange County. She spent the night at my house once and upon driving back to San Diego she fell asleep. She woke up right around San Onofre, looked out the window and asked "what's that?" Surprised she didn't know what the nuclear power plant was, I explained it. She replied "No, I meant all the water out there". Shocked, I told her it was the Pacific Ocean, to which she replied "oh, I didn't know it went up past San Diego". That was the last time I ever saw her.
FortyFourForty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually a dumb reply rather than question:
Me: "What was the worst natural disaster to happen in your lifetime?"
Stevie: "9/11"
filmosophy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a classmate in college ask what procreation was, on the one and only day that she brought her baby to class. I will never forget the dumbfounded look on the instructor's face.
D3qTV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in my science asked if turtles could breathe
nongzhigao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a senior in high school a girl asked the biology teacher if you can get infected by computer viruses. The teacher actually said "good question" before explaining that no, you cannot.
mrthescientist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a university class where a kid asked how a Mars rover could move if the planet was spinning. He asked if it had to jump in order to move. He couldn't understand that you can move even if the ground is rotating beneath you.
gwyn15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my HS class once asked how fish survive the winter in Canada when the lakes freeze. The teacher said "they eat bits of plant and algae and such that still grow under the lake during winter." girl asks, "how do they get to it if they are frozen?" ..... she thought the entire lake/river freezes all the way through, like when you leave your coffee mug outside and you get a little frozen puck at the bottom. It was like grade 11.....
rdrjon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Middle school as a student not a teacher I had a kid ask where did the Statue of America come from? ( asking about the Statue of Liberty)
ThrowawayTeach87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but a student in class commented that ice sinks. Mind you, this is in an 11th grade class. I couldn't handle it, the class couldn't handle it. We legitimately took about a half an hour to argue that ice in fact does float. He wasn't trolling, he legitimately thought that ice sank.
shizzy3334 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was in a class in high school when we had a substitute teacher one day and we were watching that movie "2012" with the world ending or whatever.
Bunch of people were talking and making noise and this girl got up and said " guys shut up! This movie is based off of a real story!" Not a question or submitted from a teacher, but it was really funny.
Not_shia_labeouf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher but a girl in my US history class in high school had one.
We were just starting the unit on the Korean War and she raises her hand and asks: "What's Korea?"
Rossomak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school a kid asked "What's the sideways 11 you keep writing [on the board]?" to which the teacher answered, "You mean the equals sign?" No one laughed, it was too sad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate of mine asked who Hitler was in an 8th grade world history class.
DPS2004 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but once saw a kid in 7th grade ask if December was the last month.
ss0889 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, but was a student at the time. sophomore year of high school. watching a video about WW2 in social studies. all of a sudden, some girl throws her hand in the air and goes "Wait, Japan dropped the atomic bomb on pearl harbor, right?"
normally a teacher will straight faced correct misconceptions and try not to judge or otherwise ridicule students.
that is not what happened on this day.
WesD98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in my freshman year in high school a girl asked our World Geography teacher if Islam was a country.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I'm the offender.
In high school English class, I forgot the word 'their' was a word and got into a two minute argument with the class and test until I gave up just so we could move on.
zslayer89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but heard, "What's a scrotum? It sounds like a fancy cookie. Can I ask someone to pass me the scrotums?"
estier2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher, but I got this guy in my class that always ask me the most stupid questions. Here are the two recent ones:
I thought about opening a twitter with all the shit that he says, it would help me remember all the stuff, but that would be mean.
Roy-Hobbs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not actually a question, and i wasn't the teacher. but in 11th grade a girl went up to a giant map of north america, and couldn't find Canada.
Theundead565 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm not a teacher: but someone in my high-school science class (earth science) asked: "What's a star?" in a dead serious manner when the teacher was talking about The Sun. She could not figure out why the class was laughing so hard at her. We were 15 year old Freshman in high school at the time.
In another bout, the same teacher asked "Why do you think it would be cold here?" while pointing at a globe. That same person answered "Because the metal ring is blocking out the sun!" with all the confidence in the world. She, again, couldn't figure out why we were laughing so hard. The teachers face was just... I've never seen visible disappointment display so prominently in my life.
sumsimpleracer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First day in a high school music theory class, the teacher (Grammy Platinum winning high school orchestra teacher) was going over basic notes when a self-taught guitarist raised their hand and asked "By the G are you referring to the 6th fret on the 3rd string?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know how to respond to the question."
Student looked at the class smugly like he fooled the teacher. Everyone else just looked at him confused.
unclebouncy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After teaching a detailed week long unit on human reproductive anatomy to seventh graders, a female student asked where the baby comes out. Other students rolled their eyes and smirked as it was covered quite clearly. I answered, "the baby comes out of the vagina" She exclaimed in horror, "Oh my God, I thought it came out of the butthole!"
Wait, the butthole is better?!?
skaterfromtheville ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My biology teacher once told me that a girl in one of his former classes thought that there was "mammals" and the gender appropriate opposite "femammals". I found it odd that she went 16 years without anyone correcting her.
tototo31 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I over heard a class mate very seriously ask the school nurse if babies had bones. She is 18
NXorBust ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll always remember Johanna Morrisson, Grade 9, asking my RE teachter "Miss, where is God Buried?"
Ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha, oh Johanna.
adara94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a college freshman ask me 'who is George Washington and why is he famous?' He had graduated from George Washington Carver HS and thought they were the same person. Luckily a nearby student pulled out a $1 bill and started explaining...
zombiep00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember being a junior in high school with a classmate that believed AIDS is what kills you, not the lack of an immune system able to fight off bacteria/infections. Argued with the biology teacher about it for half the class period.
blackmoonclan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What religion is emo?"
TheDanishPencil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but the day after attending a beach-bonfire party, one of my classmates in 8'th grade said:
"Can you get a sunburn from a bonfire?"
Which was met with laughter from the class, and a profoundly confused look from our biology teacher.
Sammy1Am ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually not too unreasonable of a question; a big bonfire does give off a lot of radiation, and radiation from the sun is what causes sunburn. As it turns out the radiation from the bonfire isn't UV so you won't, but there are non-sun sources of radiation (like welding) that can give you sunburn.
meadowist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in my 7th grade biology class a girl asked "So like, can you die from cancer or a heart attack?" followed by "are they contagious?"
HouseOfCroutons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the after school program at an elementary school, and one kid told me he was going to visit his grandpa that weekend. I asked him where his grandpa lived, and he stood there contemplating for a second before asking, "What comes after Ohio?"
astroteacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do we live ON the earth, or do we live IN the earth?"
ro4135 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is a question about the atmosphere. It seems like we're in the earth when you compare photos of the men standing on the moon.
astroteacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She told me she heard the earth was hollow and we lived inside it. She. Plus not understand how we could be on the outside, unprotected.
Psmgop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Class in Miami is watching news report about New York City. Scene contains sides of residential buildings with fire escapes.
Dude 1: "Sir, what are those things on the side of the buildings?"
Me: "those are fire escapes. You climb down those in case a fire within the building traps you inside your apartment."
Dude 1: "Why don't we have those in Miami?"
Dude 2: "...'Cause there's no fires in Miami, bro!"
Aaronp6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but had a kid in shop class say that his four wheel drive didn't work because the window motor in his passenger side door didn't work.. I don't know where he got this info but he was dead set on it.
will_not_launch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was tutoring a high school junior for her human anatomy test, and I asked her how many lungs the human body had. She shrugged and told me three. I did my best to keep a straight face.
Jenbag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 14 year old boy ask me "Is it true that girls really have a time of the month? And what time is it? Like 3? 4?".
SamMaghsoodloo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My student thought that The Martian was a true story. The whole thing. He was 15 and this was 2 weeks ago.
baconstrips1124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some white girl in my college class in Vermont asked our teacher if their were black people in Europe.
victorlo1998 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
University academic writing class. Going through simple exercises. Really simple exercises. Prof brings up a sentence and asks the class to find a noun in the sentence. One kid asked the prof "whats a noun?"
afraidofdoves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably be lost in translation but some girl in HS asked "how many Hitlers were there?" (-ler is the plural form in Turkish, Hitler literally means Hit(s).)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last year of law school. The professor explained that he was going to call on students alphabetically throughout the semester.
This adult woman asked, "So by alphabetically, do you mean A-Z, or...?" Her last name started with M anyway.
cruncheweesy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my high school became a legend when she revealed to the class that she had no idea that a penis had a hole on the end of it. Someone asked how she thought they peed, and she said, "Through the pores?"
.....So, like a sprinkler?
Goldiesly2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time in my freshman year of high school a classmate of mine found the bones of some small animal while we were doing a school service project. He proceeded to pick them up and ask our physics teacher who was chaperoning, "Hey Mr. Jones, is this a law of physics or somethin'?"
My teacher just closed his eyes and sighed.
Chucklehead240 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a question but my mother once said to me:
"I don't believe in recycling" "Mom recycling isn't a myth like Zeus or something" "I just don't believe in it" "Like you don't agree with doing it" "No"
I was absolutely floored.
Dami3n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do I no longer have a C? I had a C three weeks ago and I haven't done any work for you since then!" Sophomore in my high school Geometry class...
scareschool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband came home from teaching one day with a perplexed look on his face, and said a kid in his health class asked him what the best method was for washing a condom.
Scruzzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question, but I was on a cruise once with a group of bill collectors (nightmare, right?) As we were getting ready for our day at sea, we were talking about the importance of sun screen on such a sunny day.
One of the women took a drag off her cigarette and declared, "You don't need sunscreen. The ship is moving. You can't get burned if it's moving."
My step mother also once asked my ex's Irish mother what language they speak in Ireland. The answer was "The King's English."
lamilambkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in the 12th grade, a classmate of mine asked the teacher if the Holocaust was real. He thought it was some sort of myth.
When everyone in the class, teacher included, tried to convince him it was real he wouldn't believe us and thought he were all playing a joke on him.
batterymoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I tutored kids in English during my senior year of high school. I had a freshman boy ask me how to spell the word 'a.'
mkubs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a discussion about The Alamo, a girl in my high school history class asked the teacher if Texas was still a state. The silence that followed was gut-wrenching.
ragnarocka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 5th grade sex ed, a (male) classmate asked our teacher how big ovaries are. Our teacher said they're about the same size as testicles. Student's response: how big are those?
The teacher said "You wanna reach under your desk and find out?"
Beziano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After telling them to let me explain before they ask questions... Me: Ok guys. Are there any questions?
Student: Raises hand
Me: Yes?
Student: Are we allowed to ask questions now?
Mandraxon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was in Honors AP US History in Sophomore year of High School. Assignment: Write an "epitaph" for Thomas Jefferson based off his accomplishments in his presidency.
Kid in my class: "Do we have to use words to write the epitaph?"
zaphod4th ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question, but a very young student ask me in a computer classroom with 50+ more students. CIRCA 1995
"Teacher, what is fornication?"
I felt all eyes on me. It was his first time using the internet and he wants to talk/contact girls, so they search for "relations with girls"
maccam21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL no teachers use Reddit
Cypher_Shadow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watching Star Wars Episode 4 with my nephew. After explaining that the movie came out in 1977 he remarked "They had color movies back then?"
sumbum786 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone once asked me if the dark spots on the moon were clouds.
lyradavidica ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"When will it be finished?" ..."What?" ..."The Jewish Bible. When are they going to finish it?"
Plumhawk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, this was asked in a science class that I was a student in. A 16 year old girl asked "Are stars really shaped like... stars?" (meaning the five pointed star that you would get on your elementary school homework for doing a good job). She couldn't conceive that they were (goodness, gracious) great balls of fire.
JuicyBoysJello ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mom is a professor, her comment to this: " 'I missed class the day before, did we do anything important?' No shit, We didn't spend the whole day doing jack shit like you, thats a stupid fucking question."
KoreanPanda12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in the first grade I asked "what's the last number?"
doctor-rockso ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, infinity is a difficult concept for someone in 1st grade.
maroofthye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one of my classmates once asked if the book we were reading in class was based on a true story.
The book was Frankenstein.
She was completely serious.
nymichan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student asked me if we can grow pasta.
wharfrat22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student asked me last week, "Mr G, where do you work?" He's a sixth grader.
Literallyjust13ducks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grader said: Wait, World War 1 came BEFORE World War 2? he seemed so surprised.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student asked me today how to spell AIDS, so probably that
totallynotarobotnope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a friend of mine told me when she took her first sex ed class, she asked (regarding oral sex) "How can people get STIs from just talking about sex?"
DiiLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow classmate of mine once seriously asked: "Shakespeare is written by Lessing (German author), right?"
cryptolowe88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
while talking about college basketball a student asked "when is MARCH madness?"
PeterGayrino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "Not a teacher". The other day we were taking our AP calculus midterm. There were some questions which said "skip the question" next to them. At least 3 kids raised their hand and asked if they should skip them
splosive_fatass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 8th grade, my science teacher had everyone write down why they think seasons happen. One kid wrote "the sun turns on and off."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but another student asked in Chemistry "What world happen if you breathed a Noble gas?"
Hebroohammr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked as a 1st grade aid during one of my scheduling blocks back in high school I had a kid ask me how they got the bones out of the dinosaur shapes nuggets.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 39 weeks pregnant: They said you're having a baby! Really?!?!
exwindchaser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey Mister... What side of the country is the Specific Ocean on?"
EuropeanLady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet this came from a student whose native language isn't English. If the teacher speaks fast, it may be hard for the non-native English speaker to differentiate between "pacific" and "specific".
exwindchaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would think so, but no it was not an ESL student.
EuropeanLady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah! Then there's no excuse for lack of knowledge.
2_rad_2_B_sad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a camp councillor, and a very young child (maybe 6) told me about the ton of fish his mum had caught. When I asked how much a ton was, he replied with: "52"
AnalLeaseHolder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, also it was not in class, also it was not a question.
My brother and I woke up late for school one day, and I was almost done getting dressed. I noticed he still wasn't even close to being done. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he couldn't figure out which sock went on which foot. I still can't fucking believe it.
SelfRighte0usSuicide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I remember a female classmate asking the teacher if "fish" is an animal? That was in 12th grade...
earthlinkdilemma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, can you tell my neighbour that the prostate and the arsehole are the same thing?"
I teach maths.
pilows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but last year had a fellow student ask "was Churchill president during WWI?" while we were studying American involvement in WWI.
PearlJam10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's true. There are no stupid questions. Only stupid people.
MiastahRager ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student in my class once asked who won WWII
d-d-dre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One student of mine once tried to argue that a kilo of nails is heavier than a kilo of cotton.
jazz2danz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also from a student, "so Miss, if we bomb China.. do we still have to learn math?"
Applebus_Crumbledore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am a teacher, but this rather silly question is not courtesy of one of my students, but a medical student I met on holiday.
A little context; I'm British and was talking to a guy from North Carolina.
Questionable future doctor: "I have a question, but I think it might be stupid..."
Me: "Oh no, don't worry, ask away!"
QFD: "Ummm, okay... well... what language do they speak in England...?"
Me: "..."
AUChris03 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a class on the US debt and general economic topics a girl I went to HS with asked our Econ teacher, "I mean, like, why can't we just print more money?"
evandraves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our teacher wouldn't let us go to lunch until the person who had poo'd in the urinal admitted it to her. So she had us all wright on a piece of paper if we had done it, yes or no. This was when Mikey raised his hand and asked how you spell yes.
Rollzwarg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a girl in my 7th grade math class asked me how many bottles were in a six pack and she was amazed when I told her 6. Could not, for the life of her, understand how I got that crazy number.
CRSdefiance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College cultural geography class surrounded by football players in it for easy A's. In a section talking about the importance of trade routes throughout history, professor is discussing how rice has been cultivated in Africa for the past 3,000 years and asks how rice might have ended up in Africa.
Enthusiastic football player raises his hand. "Christopher Columbus."
...he not only had any clue that he might have been wrong, but when it was pointed out that it was incorrect, still didn't understand why it was wrong.
Wingly21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the class clown
"Sir, is it true that Custer lost at the Little Big Horn because of his diabetes"
lostnvrfound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a classmate ask the teacher if there were plants that grew barbecue. This was the 8th grade "Advanced Learners" class. Public education ftw!
doobwah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a student ask me if the electric chair had a cushion. Come to think of it, I guess that was a pretty good question after all.
moak0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fifth grade they brought in a guest speaker to teach us about AIDS.
They taught us that the only ways to get AIDS were through sharing needles or having unprotected sex. They were very emphatic that it could not be transmitted through hugging or kissing.
I raised my hand. The guest speaker called on me. I asked, "What if you drink someone's blood and they have AIDS?"
The guest speaker responded, "Why would you ever drink someone's blood?" and she gave me a look like I was messed up for asking it.
The classroom erupted in laughter and then they moved on to the next question.
I don't know, bitch, maybe it's an accident? Maybe my friend got bit by a snake and I have to suck out the venom. Maybe I'm a fucking vampire. Maybe just admit that you don't know the answer instead of making an anxious kid feel like an asshole.
SANwife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 5th grade puberty ed class: A girl asked, "When do our eggs hatch?"
RememberMeWhenImDead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, when the water breaks. Totally valid question.
RevolutionaryNews ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a university student. Yesterday someone on my floor asked, "hey do you know how many sides a hexagon has" and somebody else said "four" and was not joking. That person realized after like 30 seconds and said "sorry thats rectangles" (which isn't necessarily even true", but I cannot believe that someone who is 20 years old doesn't know what a fucking hexagon is. Shit they're a chem major too, all those charts and shit are fucking hexagons, people amaze me sometimes.
jyuru ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why should I learn English? I'm never gonna go to Paris or something."
I'm an English teacher... in rural France.
happybunnyntx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they assumed there would be more need for it in a bigger city like that since tourists that are more likely to speak English would more often than not travel there rather than a smaller city?
WillElMagnifico ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind that this gets reposted twice a month. It always gets one good, new story that I haven't read before. I just with they were numbered. "Part XX" for example. Although, there aren't enough M's in the Greek numbering system to count how many we'd need.
Realkdoth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This question deserves it's own sub
xxnekochan666xx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher but when I was in the seventh grade a student in one of my classes asked what the number for 9-1-1 is.
Spiersy08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher or anything but a girl in my class asked in history class learning about world war...after learning it all year she says "Miss what's Britain"....
Jtaimelafolie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is English originally from the UK or America?" He was 18 or 19.
EoghanTheDaddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a student, but one day, our history teacher had explained that theatre's in ancient Rome/Greece were called the "Odeon" in italian or greek iirc. (Odeon is also the name of a chain of cinemas in Ireland). He explained the the cinema chain was named after the ancient theater's.
Class mate puts up his hand and asks what CineWorld was named after.
Azotus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was Student Teaching a number of years ago in a sophomore literature class. I was talking about our next lesson and how it would be on the Greek Tragedy Madea. One of the better students in the class got really excited and started flipping through the textbook to find it. I had to break it to her that it had nothing to do with Tyler Perry.
Duffman5755 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this happened when I was in 5th grade. Our teacher was great (though a little on the strict side), encouraged us to ask questions and announced that there was no stupid questions. Taking that as a challenge, one of the kids in the class decided to ask "if chickens had teeth, would they eat meat?". The teacher thought that was a great question, and so great that she had him write a paper on it, due the next day....Turns out the answer is no, even if chickens had teeth, their digestive system would not be able to break down the meat properly (at least that's according to a 5th graders research, I never cared enough to fact check it).
Polite_Werewolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... A lot of people assume the sun and the moon are the same thing.
icebreaker90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class mate ask the teacher in high school "can you define what you mean by define" we never let it go lol
gopro_jopo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student who was going to do a religious fast and not eat any grains (bread, cereal, etc.). He desperately wanted to know if potatoes were a grain because he still wanted to be able to eat chips.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dinosaurs became fuel. When we bury the dead, dont they become fuel too? Why is then it's called non Renewable energy when we can clearly make more fuel from dead people jus by burying them?
StillGrowingUp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After teaching students about 'slender walls' in an engineering course for a few weeks in a semester, a students asked me during his final exam what the meaning of 'slender' is.....
Corinos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Standing on a beach with water between his toes, "Sir, how high about sea level are we right now?"
SpiderG1rl3000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
20 yo girl in a discussion about climate change: "What I don't understand is, if the sun is getting so hot, why don't they just shoot off a piece of it?" Stared at her for a few seconds to check if she was joking. Also, she did Geography until midway through high school.
CaptainSmartGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She wasn't one of my students, but my sister posed a rather distressing question to me as a teenager.
She was born in South Korea, and my parents brought her to the U.S. at 3 months old and adopted her.
When she was 16, she overheard a Chinese girl in her class having a conversations with relatives in her native language. My sister asked me:
"If I had grown up in Korea, would that mean I'd have to speak Korean?"
I replied, "Yes"
She looked at me incredulously, and said, "I don't think that's possible. That language is mad complicated, and I'm sure I'd never be able to learn it."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my Primary school (aged 10ish) a kid asked the teacher what colour was the yellow submarine.
julius_von_mackenson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my high school history class - we had been learning about WWII for about two months and she knew her stuff about specific battles ( D-day, the Battle of Britain etc) but one day just puts up her hand and goes "Sir, who won the war?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had just finished reading Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. Before we read it, we had done a history lesson on Julius Caesar, watched a biographical movie, etc. At the end of the play, I showed the kids the place in Italy where you can go see where Caesar's body was burned, where people still brought flowers to him. One girl was astonished and said "WAIT, He's real??? How could he be real??? I thought he was a character in a play!"
I asked my students to research leaders during World War II and assigned them a country. A girl assigned to China was researching Hiro Hito, so I explained he was the leader of Japan and she needed to research someone else. She told me that China and Japan were the same thing.
drjo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way too late but I was once in a graduate mathematics class and a student asked, "what does that O on the board represent?" It was a zero.
spykid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"huck Finn isn't black?" -me
Darth_VanBrak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 12th grade economics teacher once asked us, "what's the name of that building in DC shaped like an octagon?"
She was asking about The Pentagon.
bloodfist45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do they know how many Jews died in the holocaust? Did they weigh the ashes?" That was a real question...
Asked my me
Spez: weigh not weight
Disgruntled__Goat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every question that Kevin ever asked.
Nhawk257 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 10 science class: wait, what's a satellite?
akmaz7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student once asked my English prof what Shakespeare's last name was
kzin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will the graded homework be graded?
Shumatsuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in my class asked this. "So, if say I have HIV, and I... You know," makes jacking hand motion, "and get some on myself, will anything bad happen?"
Yes, Chris, you'll get double-HIV...
mer2016 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When were the gays invented...an 8th grader asked me that...
emma4eyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student in my year 9 class (12 - 13 year olds) asked in biology "wait but don't elephants lay eggs?"...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Here, Chodman, does cotton grow on sheep?" - A classmate
clumsy_tacos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 8th grade Earth Science class, we were talking about oceans and ocean life etc, and I remember a girl in my class suddenly raised her hand, and sincerely asked the teacher, "What would happen if all of a sudden all of the air on earth was just...GONE?" So, in one of my favorite memories of school with one of my favorite teachers...he walks across the room, stands directly in front of her desk, and says (with a level of seriousness I didn't think possible in the situation), "It'd ruin your whole day." and walked away to continue on with the lesson like nothing had happened. The entire class erupted in laughter...I still laugh when I think about that moment.
Dro-Darsha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After getting explained how OpenID works: "I understand how it works but ... 'open' ... sounds unsafe. Is it really safe?"
espeon727 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If a boy and his identical twin sister had a baby, wouldn't it be a clone?"
PirateKingOfPenzance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twins share dna. It is possible, however unlikely, that they would have a baby with the same dna combination.
DJ_Excel_Spreadsheet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is penguins real?"
Greenpaper92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my mom's coworkers took an upper level biology class, and the professor was talking about bats. One of her classmates gets a blank look and says, "Wait those are real? I thought those were just made up things in horror movies!"
FancyShrimp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually just happened yesterday.
I gave out a quiz and actually had someone ask me this:
"So, what are we just supposed to pull these dates from our memory?"
Yes, that's how quizzes work.
Lamb-and-Lamia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once during my second semester of law school. We had a class taught by the Dean..It was criminal law. During a lecture this kid out of nowhere raises his hand and says "the penal code misspelled marijuana. Does that mean it's not really illegal here?" I swear the Dean actually said "You know how they say there are no stupid questions? Well that was definitely a stupid question". And then through the rest of the semester he was always a little hard on that student. And the student always basically doubled down on it for some reason. It's felt like I was observing a vicious cycle play out. The more the Dean would pressure him to act professionally the more he acted like the high school class clown. One day he was asked to recite the facts of a rape case. He essentially needed to relay that a man had oral sex with a woman. I swear god this moron goes "Then he ate her out". The entire class had this collective gasp like what the fuck is possibly wrong with you.
Also on Halloween this kid came in dressed like Zelda. And no not Link. Zelda. If not for fear of being sued for some anti gay bullshit that probably would have been the last straw. But who knows.
Gneissisnice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had this conversation with a student last year, as we were discussing volcanoes:
Student: What would happen if I touched lava?
Me: Lava is really hot. You would die.
Student: But like, what if I drank it?
Me: You would die.
Student: What about if I went swimming in lava?
Me: You would die.
Student: What if I kicked the lava?
Me: Your foot would catch fire and burn off. And then you would die.
Student: But what if I splashed some lava onto me?
Me: Ok, I think you're not understanding. Lava is really hot. Like, really really hot. Have you ever burned yourself on hot water or grease? It really hurts. Now, lava, at minimum, is around 20 times hotter than that. Lava is so hot that if you just go near an active volcano, the hot air will likely incinerate your lungs and you will die. That's what scientists that study volcanoes usually wear protective suits. If you try to touch lava in any way, You. Will. Die.
Student: Ok. But like, what if I jumped into it?
Me: ...
Student: ...
Me: Sigh. I don't know, why don't you go visit a volcano and find out?
zombiecslover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle used to teach and he said a student raised his hand during a talk on space and planets. These were high school kids BTW. " Hey Teach! Where in space is that big cube? " My uncle was puzzled. "I have no idea what you are talking about" " You know that big old floating cube from Star Trek?"
yoelbenyossef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends, in her med school class at McGill heard a girl saying that she wanted to have a rhinoplasty, but not for her. For her kids. Apparently this DOCTOR in training thought that her plastic surgery would be hereditary ....
shannonowalker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching students that the word "vocation" means "calling" -- and I said that I loved my job and felt like it was my "vocation" -- and one of them asked..."What's your job?"
"Um....I'm your Latin teacher." "Oh yeah!"
Aopap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they just couldn't believe you love the job, they thought you have another
secretkept ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a high school English teacher. This was a couple years ago. My kids got a little off topic, and sometimes, for my own amusement, I humor them. I was teaching juniors in an AP Language and Composition class. The conversation turned to STDs (we were probably reading an essay or story about relationships) and one of my students asked me if AIDS was transmitted when somebody with HIV pees on your face. Since they are AP students, I just walked out of the room in disbelief.
mrskbell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mrs. Bell, is an orangutan a real fruit, or is it just made up?"
dont_forget_canada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"why would the US build the atomic bomb and then use it to blow up manhattan?"
(she believed since its called the manhattan project that they used it to actually blow manhattan up)
HollowScope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a college class we had an oral exam and I did it on some military coup. I pernounced it coupe. Like a 2 door car, for the whole exam. At the end the teacher said "it's pernounced 'coo.'" subtly, but man did I feel like an idiot.
GodsBossSteve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know no one is going to see this, but this once in college this one kid kept calling the sun a "fire planet" when talking about a video we watched in class. He tried to correct the professor when she told him it was the sun...
VestOfHolding ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ctrl+F "Kevin"
I am disappointed in all of you.
slimkt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Friend asked me what the seam on his scrotum was from. Not a dumb question really, but his assumption was. He honestly believed the seam was a scar from someone performing covert testicle surgery on him in his sleep. We were seventeen at the time and it still blows my mind to this day.
starajeancs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but when I was a teenager (in the 90's) I spent time in both California and Florida. I was asked, seriously and by multiple people, if I rode a horse to school and whether or not I had electricity/running water in my house, because I was from Nebraska.
nvrMNDthBLLCKS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't we all have these things or concepts about the world and one day we discovered that they're totally wrong. And how glad were you when you discovered this by yourself?
I thought a different language just meant that you switched the letters, so a t in English was a s in Dutch or something. I didn't think this one really out, and it didn't took that long to discover how it worked. I thought trees made wind. I thought that for an LP to play music, they had a (children's) choir standing ready to sing for me. It confused me that if another kid would play the LP at about the same time, but just one minute later. I couldn't believe that the needle and the record was enough to create music.
maaaybe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More a realization than a question:
"Wait, gamma rays are real?!? I thought they just invented them to explain the hulk."
adramgooddrink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student email me to ask when he should submit the rough draft of the term paper for the class. He asked if it was due before the final draft, or at the same time.
thatasian26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student asked: "Who's the fastest man alive?" I said it was Usain Bolt, to which he asked a follow up question: "Yea, but is there anyone faster than him?"
SmuntyJr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my teachers told us there's no wrong questions, only stupid questions. One of the examples he gave is, "Do worms go to heaven?"
Caveman775 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when i was in highschool i had a girl classmate ask "if sperm is made of protein why does it taste so salty?" everybody laughed it was an environmental science class too
_lord_kinbote_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a stupid question, but it might be one of the dumbest things a student has DONE in my class.
A week ago, students turned in their first programming project to me. I opened up the project of a very, very bright girl and was presented with a single line of text: "Why do we have to code? Its fucking boring."
I suspected that she had done the project and then, somehow, typed something as a joke to her friend in the class, then saved over her entire project and submitted just that one line.
I gave it a zero, told her she may want to check what she turned in, and it would explain the grade.
Four days later (today), she comes to me at the end of the day and asks why she got a zero. I asked her if she knows what she turned in...she looked confused. I said "Hey, I happen to have it right here!" She glanced at it, said "Was it a blank file...?" and then her jaw just dropped.
"You know what the most offensive thing about that was?"
"..."
"You used the wrong form of 'it's'."
EViL2uCe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a conversation with an inner-city high school teacher where they had to describe a city, and state, then somehow got to identifying continents, and even planet Earth. They did not know what a planet was... or even Earth for that matter. The students that did know this started an enraged debate to the students who couldn't identify Earth.
kierkekurt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but this was one of my classmates. 6th grade sex ed. She asked whether a girl can get pregnant if she interacts (in any way, i.e. chatting, touching, etc) with a guy during her period.
AMultiColouredZebra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, this was one of the students in the same class as me "Do whales cause tsunamis?"
EMAW2008 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, and this is not a stupid question, but rather a stupid answer. In the 6th grade we had a quiz about different eras the earth has gone through (Jurassic, Triassic, etc). And the teacher was reading some of the student's answers out-loud.
Question: "When did the last Ice Age end?"
One student's answer: "When it melted"
kennymakaha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always the question that I literally just answered seconds ago
novelty_spatula ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupidest*****
giftdestruction ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No stupid questions, only stupid people.
catwalk1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My students asked me if I was black. I asked them, "what do you think?" (I'm not) and one kid answered, " Well, you're the French teacher so you're not white or black, you're French"
serafino33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher," but this is too good not to share.
My eighth grade history class was known for going off on tangents. The teacher interrupted his lessons a lot to talk about current events, economics, or anything else he could think of. So one day, the conversation turns to Mount St. Helens. (For people who don't know, it's a volcano in Washington that had a huge eruption back in 1980. Scary stuff.) Our teacher showed us a video and we talked about it for a bit.
A boy raises his hand to ask a question. (This kid was already not the sharpest knife in the drawer.) The teacher calls on him, and the guy asks, "...But who put the bomb in it?"
The entire class burst out laughing. We didn't let him live that one down for a while.
sweadle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why did I get an F? I wasn't even here for that assignment!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow student, but in Jr. High Geology our teacher put up a map from the 1400's and was trying to emphasise how amazing the map was since they didn't have planes back then.
Girl in our class shouts "THEY DIDN'T HAVE PLANES BACK THEN?!" as if it was the most shocking strange thing she had ever heard.
SJFreedom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jr High Biology class, the student asked, "how is it that men and women who aren't married can have babies?"
manonnie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Dutch teacher in Geography and once a student of mine asked why water couldn't stream up the hill/ mountain instead of down. After a while of explaining I kind of quit, she just didn't understand what it had to do with gravity..
ItsFrank11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Extremely late, but I'm from Quebec City, in history class, a girl asked "if we separate from Canada will we need passports to go to Montreal?", immediately followed by "Will we dig a river around the province?"
j0c1f3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but a girl I worked with came up and stated...."you know who has all the money in this world?.....rich people..." as I sat there thinking about what I might have missed during the statement O_o I realized nope, she just said that.
MobileTechGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but a congressman once expressed a deep concern that an island would capsize bc there were too many people on one side.
DrHolidae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but after my teacher explained her 30 year old brother was in Japan a classmate asked: "How old is he in American years?" She was completely serious.
throwawayvan85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but at least once a year I remember the girl in my 9th grade German class who in complete straight faced seriousness asked "Does Germany have airplanes?"
Where is she now I wonder? What other unsolved mysteries are rattling around upstairs?
LoremasterIvy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In earth science, 9th grade, we were learning about the ice age. The teacher had a slide show going, being in Michigan we of course hit "how the great lakes were formed" teacher goes on about how the lakes were carved by glaciers like the ones on the slide and continues for a while about how glaciers influenced our area specifically and gave us our sandy good-for-farming-celery-by-the-way soil and moves on. Next slide is mammoths and we talk about the mammoth tusks in the local museum and stuff, when this dunce says "so those made the great lakes?" ...she legit thought Woolly mammoths made the largest bodies of fresh water, just carved them out with their tusks.
squidmyster64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one really did make me laugh out loud!
NixaB345T ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a kid in my high school class one year ask what Obama's last name was
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher, I was the student. I asked my science teacher if dogs sleep well. I was kinda heartbroken that he just laughed at me for asking even though I was just really curious cause I didn't know the answer.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in science we were talking about radiowaves, and gamma rays, and there was a picture of light hitting the triangular prism, to create the colours of the rainbow. Here's what happened next:
Student: Why is indigo on the rainbow? Teacher: It's another way of saying purple. Student: I thought it was a store. Different Student: I thought it was violet? Another Student: No, it's purple!
The class went silent, and these two boys asked Siri what the colours of the rainbow were. I was in total disbelief.
bubblebathory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After the first day of Intro to Sociology in college, I was walking out of the classroom behind two girls. The professor had been talking about Plato. One of the girls turned to the other and said, "why was prof X talking about play-dough? I thought that was for kids." I couldn't stop myself from audibly laughing.
cookiemonstermanatee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ยฟCรณmo se dice "How"?
Seriously, did you just ask HOW do you say HOW?
Close second: ยฟCรณmo se dice "taco" en espaรฑol?
danfinger51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"water bed"
alexisgott ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I have this vivid memory of a girl in my RE class genuinely asking if World War 2 had ended.
She was 16.
Cathalised ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but I once had a student after a test come to me with cheat answers written in her palms asking whether she could go to the toilet to wash her hands.
She didn't pass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All of them.
AlQuaholicTerrorist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guarantee half of these are kids that just have a deadpan sense of humor.
Bennay_07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school biology a kid in my class asked if every person jumped at the same time that an earthquake would occur.
Quesamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a common myth, so it isn't really stupid.
Bennay_07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because it's common doesn't make it any less stupid.
Quesamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...
candymoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a 7th grade girl ask how it was possible for a baby to stay alive for 9 months in your stomach without all the stomach acid digesting it.
opiet11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with kids on the spectrum that had behavior disorders on top of them and I had a student once ask if he could hit his female classmate... I mean at least he asked but not something a teacher would say "yeah go ahead" to.
birch95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. I think I was in kindergarten and I asked how you spell letters.
mehbleh14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Incredible
papamemes666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my class in Year 11 (aged 15-16) who got straight A*s in all the sciences once said in a physics lesson "I always get them mixed up so which one is real, Frankenstein or Einstein?"
mattyincredible ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were learning about mustard seeds in my freshman year biology class in high school. Student who was not the brightest and still lives up to that reputation raises his hand and asks, "Is there a ketchup seed?" I have never heard a classroom laugh that loud before even the teacher who was normally very understanding was laughing.
ophelias32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but in 8th grade we had some standardized testing and we had to write an essay about a famous person who had a historical impact. They gave you a list of about ten names to choose from. One of them was the baseball player Jackie Robinson. Well, at the time in our area we had a local female broadcaster named Jackie Robinson. You can see where this is going. At least half the class wrote their essays on Channel three, local news anchor Jackie Robinson. I have no idea what they could have used to fill that essay but needless to say they failed.
captcman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a dumb question but, Substituting a 6th grade science class a few years ago. We were having a discussion about superman, Batman and other random superheroes. After listening to the entire class one by one tell me what power they would want, X-ray vision was brought up. The next kid that raised his hand, looked at me and said "If I had xray vision and could see through everything, could I see anything?" luckily before I had to think of a way to explain this to a 11yr old saved by the bell
josephfinnegan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, my professor was reviewing the countries of North America. He named Canada United States and Mexico. This Student raised his hand and with a straight face asked, "but what about Alaska ?"....til this day He has never lived it down
oWatchdog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach children and adults a safety course (among other things). As I was handing out evaluation tests one of the adults raised their hand and said,
"Are there handicap assistance tests?"
"Sure. What do you need."
"One in braille. I'm blind."
This was a rifle safety course. It had multiple instances where you fire a rifle. I was floored.
stonecoldsimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm a student but at a holocaust lecture a kid asked if there was any leisure time in a concentration camp to someone who was taken to one
titations ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my fourth graders asked me during science class if we get our cheese from the moon. Yeah
MusicalCereal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well , in my defense I was hungover, (no I am not a teacher). I was starting at a new job, unfortunately I was living with some crappy people that partied 24/7 and pressured me. I basically schedule pick ups for trucks to pick up freight, a company calls me and asks for a truck and I set it up. We usually have a confirmation number at the end that we give to the caller. This number is smack in the middle of the screen. Well I get confused easily enough, plus being completely hungover, training for 8 hours I am so out of it. Lady on the phone asks for confirmation, I pause for a long time searching for it... I look over at my Coach dumbfounded...I mouth "Where is it?" and she just looks at me like ...how the fuck did you get this far? I really wanted to crawl into a dark hole somewhere after that.
JarsAreRed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate said the dumbest thing ever. 9th grade chemistry class. We were all talking about how heat and compression makes things go back to its original form. So this blonde asks, "So if a roasted chicken were to be heated and compressed enough, would it come back to life?"
michiruwater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher, a question that just amazes me that happens frequently is when a student is absent and the first thing they ask when they get back is, "did I miss anything?"
No. during your absence I taught absolutely nothing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the McDonalds sign a wonder of the world?
insolent_rug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"if you had two penises, could you braid them together?"
Messupthekitcken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but pupil a kid in my history class asked if china town was communist. For any background i live in the uk.
SpaceOtters ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While learning about the layers of the atmosphere a girl asked: how do rockets penetrate the crust of the earth?
MurderSheScrote ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 1st grade elementary school student ask me if I ever bled before. Then she went on to tell me that if she picks at her scab she can make blood come out.
SlightDementia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very loudly without context and having nothing to do with the subject at hand, "Miss, what's smegma?"
lewiscbe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After discussing the effects of the use of atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and how their radiation caused cancer and deformities. Classmate (who is a good friend and straight-A student... but doesn't always think things through) raises his hand and asks, "Did the atomic bomb invent cancer?"
Abnorc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an engineering class, one of the students asked my classmate what a mathematical symbol meant. It was "x 103." This is a sophomore level university course mind you.
TaKeN-Uk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but was told this story recently by our farm vet who was at the time 'Teaching' a student/placement vet. The student asked the vet why it was necessary to use lube each time an animal (large dairy cow in this case) required an internal inspection (from the rear) and seemed quite surprised to learn it was required.
punkbandit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fire department came lights blaring and pulled into the bus loop. Student goes "are they here to fix the doorbell..."
enormuschwanzstucker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But I was in a class when the teacher started to talk about patriarchy. She said "Does anyone know what I mean when I say patriarchy?" One guy tentatively raised his hand and said "Do you mean like, USA! USA!?"
This was a college level Literature class.
jonaahhh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate in my 9th grade Amercian History class years back asked why Alaska is as big as our country. She also asked why they had "funny accents" not like ours.
She though the entirety of Canada was Alaska.
gilleyja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually received this question from a high school senior in my A&P class a couple of weeks ago. "Since men can get breast cancer, does that mean women can get testicular cancer?"
PantsTramble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask... How do you spell DNA?
Naznarreb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's the French word for fiancรฉ?"
spideysensei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do we know it was called a triceratops?" - 16 year old student.
M3SS3NG3R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This didn't happen when I was teaching but rather in my younger days as a student:
First year computer programming 101. As the professor demonstrated Eclipse a student raised her hand and asked, "How do you go into a folder?"
I don't think she stayed in that class very long.
PrincessPeachRings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a question, but this week, we started talking about early exploration in my 4th grade social studies class. I said "Alright guys! For a piece of candy, can anyone think of one explorer they might have heard about before?" I just knew they would say Christopher Columbus. It was easy! Then a kid shot his hand up and says "Indiana Jones?" If that's not bad enough, I asked the next rotation the same question and one kid answered Indiana Jones as well. I gave them another chance and the next kid says "George Washington!" I have a lot of work to do here...
KyranButler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classmate asked what the world was like before color as we were learning about the 1900's.
spottymax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but supervise a TV studio where a college level sports broadcasting class was taught. Last semester the students had to do a 2 minute newscast. One student's newscast was 1:20 (one minute, twenty seconds), he tried to argue with the professor that his newscast was 120 seconds and therefore was 2 minutes. One of the few times I've laughed right in a student's face.
Helawat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student asked me a couple days ago " what's your religion?" His question was quickly followed by "did you vote for Trump?"
I teach seniors
Torterran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching about the particle model of matter, and how particles move faster when they are hotter/have more energy. A student puts up his hand and says "Is that why my water bottle leaks everywhere in the summer?"
Condensation. He was talking about condensation.
DivineArbalest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had one girl who couldn't figure out what country the American Revolution took place in. Yes, she said the words "American Revolution."
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, at the time there was no country of America, and the word refers to an entire region of many countries across two continents.
Brb419 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you spell "ADHD?"
godfrey11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mentioned the name "Washington DC" in class the other day after the women's march. Had a student ask "What's that?"
She was serious, not kidding. High school freshman. Yes, in the United States.
Mullo-10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are glaciers made of ice?" Two weeks into teaching about the effects of glaciation and many of the processes involved. Made me question my competency.
MrRandyDarsh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 10 Biology. "Isn't it true that if you get a hard enough titty-twister you'll get cancer? "
bunnyfitz26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid asked a holocaust survivor if she died in the holocaust.
chaosturtl3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't a teacher but in my ninth grade honors English class, we had a guy from Egypt. So one day we are in class discussing something we read from Africa, and our Egyptian classmate raises his hand and starts sharing some first hand knowledge on Africa with us all. Someone else in the class chimes in "What would you know? YOU'RE FROM EGYPT"
bcal16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't New York City close to Great Britain?
phroexx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I admit it, this one was me.
I asked my chemistry(and physics not that it matters) teacher, "What state of matter are people considered?"
I was 16.
KShadow1151 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that's actually a good question, since we do have liquid as part of us
ItsMeTK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's kind of a trick because though we are generally considered solids (especially by Changelings), a healthy human is a combination of many states of matter, some liquid, some gas, some solid, some plasma.
Gruffgrufflow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was younger my teacher set a class homework task for us to find out how Tutankhamen had died. This was before I had access to the internet so I went to the other fountain of knowledge, my father. Excited to be the first one to tell my teacher the answer and get the sweet sticker she was offering for the first with the correct answer, I ran to her the next morning and told her 'acne'. Thanks dad.
nelso116 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have had students, on more than one occasion, argue with me that Africa is a country. I teach at a university.
qvickslvr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about healthy eating.
"are chicken nuggets a vegetable? "
No finnley, no.
afavorcaptain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.
justthatrandomguy19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher or student, but I remember when I was in high school a few years back, we had kids call the teacher mum or dad. Is this common or are these kids just retarded
KatiushK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once in my life I called a teacher mom. After a long Friday, sometimes you just derp.
Class laughed, I shrugged it off laughing with them. Guess it's something that can happen.
Same as I once called my mother "honey" in the exact same way I say this word to my GF (not in english but the meaning is close to that). We laughed.
openeda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its when the same student asks the same damn question more than 4 times. The first time I'm curting you some slack. The 5th? I've already explained this 4 different ways! Doesn't happen very often, but there's always the one kid. Edit: A word
ITeachYourKidz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you attach something to an email? (I teach college)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend once asked me in a history/geography class, "Isn't it warm in Asia? Why do they have snow on top of the mountains?"
Clawless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this gonna be on the test?
SuSpencer99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: "So how did they put the North and South back together after the civil war?" Me: "What do you mean...? You mean how did they unite?" Student: "No, no, no, how did they close the gap in land??"
My mouth dropped
thetenthlutece ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Isn't Mt. Everest in Pennsylvania?" She was 17 years old.
phantomagna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my classmate in fifth grade asking a Japanese exchange teacher why the Japanese bombed the United States at Pearl Harbor.
ms_bomb_diggity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but 15 year old girl was very adamant that Africa is a country and China is a continent. She had many more geography issues. To be fair, American students (at least in my area) aren't really taught at all about the world outside of our wonderful amazing country. But still
PeeOneKeyMe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an 18 year old student ask me to explain the term prima donna. "What did people say before her?" He thought it referred to a time before Madonna.
sonicwonic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but once a girl in my freshmen class asked our biology teacher "so are vampires real?" when we were talking about bats....I honestly could not for the life of me tell if she was being serious or not.
MRAII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Where do you work?"
Vita_truck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do we need to learn about numbers? I'll never use a decimal in my life.
Feastt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's an antonym for straight?"
"Gay?"
Technically, he wasn't wrong.
Art_Rat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an art teacher, in my art room. A student is clearly trying to write the answers down from the back of a math textbook onto their worksheet that was due. I point out that they need to get back on task and they replied, "do we even have paint brushes? I can't start painting!"
The whole high school art class stared at her in silence and held up their brushes.
corvette1710 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, went to elementary school in the Southeastern U.S.
In 3rd grade, the teacher was telling us about the continents (their names, some of the countries in them, etc.) and as we're learning about South America, this kid is like "GO SOUTH AMERICA!"
I think most of the class sat there a minute to try to figure out what he meant before the teacher realized he thought we lived in South America.
We were in Tennessee.
vactu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to high school in TN. Can confirm people are this stupid.
runed_golem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was a math teacher and she had a student ask to use a calculator to find 1x1.
daiseikai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no stupid questions if they are really truly trying to understand the topic. (Even the hilarious ones I don't consider stupid, because at least I have the chance to educate them. It also usually says a lot about their home life when a student is asking something that seems so obvious to the rest of us.)
That being said, kids "trying to be funny" by interrupting with purposefully stupid stuff can get rather annoying. There is one in every class.
slayez06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a High School and will share one that was said this week. Student comes up and says "Mr. B. I'm confused, this says the Spanish internet was created to stop Hershey. Like the chocolate? why do the Spanish not like chocolate?" I look at the quote in the book and it says " The Spanish Inquisition was created to stop heresy". I face palmed. That was my Tuesday guys and pretty much sums up my week aswell.
tehzephyrsong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing ruins your Friday like realizing it's only Tuesday.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The level of youth illiteracy is very sad. And kids these days just kind of guess at the word. I don't remember seeing that as much when I was a kid. They will "read" any similar word that startsxwith the same letter. At high school level, that's really sad.
Legion213 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I'm late, and no one will see this. Not a teacher, but first day of class in university. The class was Victorian England. I'd had the professor before for Tudor/Stuart England so I figured I'd take another of his classes. The class was a 3000 or 4000 level class, so it was exclusively upper classmen (juniors and seniors). Typical first day stuff, going over the syllabus, required books and reading, professor introduced himself. He told everyone he was from London, had gone to Kings College, and did his thesis on the suffrage movement so this class would be a bit more in depth than other classes as it was his area of expertise. It should also be noted for the purposes of this story that the professor is black. Gets done, asks if anyone has questions. Get the typical grade weighting/office hours/exam questions. And then it happened. This girl raised her hand and, no shit, asked, "as an African American, did you focus on the suffrage movement because it related to you on some level?" Professor paused, a broad smile crept across his face, and literally let out a laugh. He then said, "well, I'm neither African nor American, I'm British. Next question." Beyond the fact he had an English accent, he had JUST got done telling everyone he was born and raised in London and gone to university there. She didn't raise her hand again the rest if the semester.
GymPowers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"how old was Jesus when he was born?"
Also
"How can you stand there and seriously tell me Jesus was an arab when the bible is written in English?"
Kaeflaith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not one of my students but one of my classmates in a special high-level academic program. In grade 9 geography the Dalai Lama came up in discussion, and this one girl says "Wait, I thought the Dalai Lama was that sheep?" (as in Dolly the cloned sheep). We're all kind of sitting there in stunned silence and someone says "No" and then the girl goes "Oh right, isn't he like, a Buddhist nun?" Not quite hun, not quite.
Princessbrea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 6th grade. We were having a class discussion on how compost can be used to fertilize plants to help them grow. One of my students says that eggshells can be added to compost. I said absolutely.
Another one of my students asks me "if you put eggshells on a plant does it make it an eggplant?"
I start cracking up and then realize she was being 100% serious.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching European History at a private high school.
The students had to do an independent project and present it in front of the class.
One girl chose the Major Battles of the Napoleonic Wars as her topic, and she seemed to be doing a lot of research.
So presentation day rolls around, and she tells us about the great French commander Napoleon, and his battlefield successes.
Then she explains the two reasons we don't all speak French now:
First the Royal Navy.
Second, and more importantly, because there was another French General, Bonaparte, who wasn't nearly as successful as Napoleon. It was really puzzling for her, because Napoleon could probably have commanded the French forces at all these battles.
It was amazing how she did research, from multiple sources, and managed to miss the one tiny fact that it was the same dude...
RemySC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow student here but felt the need to share. A girl in my year 9 bio class asked the teacher if 'two girls had a baby, is there 100% chance that the baby will be a girl?'
The whole class looked at her for a couple seconds and I think she realized the stupidity of her question when she said it aloud.
CromulentSource ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student I liked but was never paying attention. He would routinely ask after a half an hour of class discussion "what are we even talking about?"
The rest of the class would laugh each time. Everyone else had at least a basic idea.
SinfullySinless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How is Trump going to build a wall between Mexico and the USA if Mexico is across the ocean?"
"Isn't India in the Caribbeans?"
This was a 10-11th grade American History class
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but once when we learning about segregation, the teacher told us about this guy was 1/8 black, and some kid went "So, he's like half and half?"
Jim_White ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In AP Psychology my senior year of high school a girl rose her hand and said "But wait, I thought MLK was the first black President."
lkb0033 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was an assistant orchestra teacher in a mostly Hispanic community...first day of 5th grade beginner orchestra, it was a short class period with no instruments involved at all. The director is giving some basic information, dates for concerts, etc. She asks if there are any questions at the end of the class and one boy raises his hand and asks, "How do you violin?"
2 years later, he was one of our strongest violinists :)
valianthero99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in grade 8 health class and a guy asked if girls could get erections. The whole class was on the floor laughing
ItsMeTK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But they do. They get clit erections. Just how noticeable depends on the size of the clit.
Not a stupid question, and could teach the girls a little something.
GravityTortoise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That if dinosaurs were a lie created by the devil to trick people into believing in evolution.
CaptainDudeGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"17657 comments."
.... Wow.
Rhaski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a science teacher. Was just starting a new topic (astronomy and the big bang part of the course) and a Year 10 student says to me "(classmate) thinks she can see the moon during the day sometimes. That can't be possible, because the moon is like, the opposite of the sun, right?". Her friends are trying not to laugh, which is better than most 15 year olds would do, but I could see how badly they wanted to hang shit on her. Explaining it to her wasn't enough. I had to get solar models out and explain, from scratch, how the earth orbited the sun, and how the moon orbited earth, how eclipses occur and the phases of the moon. Really elemental stuff that she was taught in primary school. She finally gets it in an "aha!" moment, I'm thinking to myself "well, the last horse has finally stumbled past the finish line" and the she says "why do we need to know this? Like, when am i going to use that?". This question irritates me at the best of times. I had to just walk away
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do we need to know this?"
"So that when you look up in the sky during the day and see the moon, you know it's not a UFO."
Motochondrial ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you lose your "right to bare arms" do you have to wear long sleeves?
voldemorthe123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 9th grader in honors classes ask me if Europe was a country.
cubs223425 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I apologize for not being a teacher, but I had a classmate once ask a teacher if you could ride a magnet to the North Pole.
superdvader ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student in health class once asked if twins take only 18 months to be born and not 9 since there were two of them.
Entire class just laughed.
lawragatajar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Only" 18 months. I hope you explained that 18 is more than 9.
darthfodder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but the dumbest question/statement I've ever heard in a class was in high school biology: "Wait, our bodies are made of cells? Gross." I was/am in northern California so the statement is even funnier if you know that it was said by a girl with a valley girl voice.
superdvader ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Serious here, but a student in class asked why his gif file didn't move after he printed it.
tbone24601 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tell kids "the only stupid question is the one I've already answered."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this counts but I was in a situation where someone asked something stupid to a prof.
My university chemistry professor is pretty old and as you guys know teachers always try to be cool so that the students don't hate on them or whatever you know what I mean.
So it was another long hour of chemistry and chemistry... I wasn't really focused on the prof and chemistry so I played around with my pens and other stuff AND.my prof talked about drugs and the chemicals inside them and after a while a guy behind me asked if he knew how to cook crystal and my prof started to laugh a bit and skipped the question. I'll never forget the face of that guy when he asked the question...
tablesplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do babies have infinitie potential energy?
ratcheth0se ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a coworker ask me if animals ate other animals. She didn't work there very long.
justalittlebitsad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ha! I have something relevant. A 4th grade girl once called me over during art and said, "my pencil isn't working". I looked at her and asked what she meant. She proceeded to show me the pencil 'wasnt working.'. I took it from her, looked at it, then told her as professionally as possible that she just needed to sharpen it.
sciencebitches13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a freshman health class, had a student ask if it was possible to get pregnant from oral sex. Picking up on the fact that the student had probably "participated" in such an act, the teacher simply looked at her and replied "Yes." The look on her face was priceless. Everyone in the room now knew what she had been doing the night before!!
Sarria22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Irresponsible, but hilarious.
hellobrebear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the student who asked the stupid question. Throughout school I was never the sharpest tack in the box, I wasn't stupid by any means but I was and probably still am, an airhead. I grew up in a town where there is a large population of Russians so growing up I assumed that Russia must be part of the US. Long story short in 7th grade I asked my teacher why Russia wasn't on the US map... everyone laughed.
mauri11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in history class, a kid asked the teacher what language England spoke.
LordNelson27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is Antarctica a continent?"
Girl in a upper division geography course. You had to have passed multiple history and geography courses to be there
Centaurious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably be buried, but thats okay.
Technically I'm not a teacher in the sense of school, but I still taught kids. I worked at a summer camp that on occasion drives it's campers through Canada. After a trip into Canada, one of my campers asked me and the other staff a question.
"What side of the road do they drive on in Canada?"
While you may be thinking this is a decent question, seeing as many countries other than the US drive on the left side of the road, at the time of her asking we were in a moving vehicle in the wonderful country of Canada. We laughed a lot and told her to look out the window to answer her own question.
I wish that had been the only dumb question any of them asked but it was a great experience.
Pinky_theLegend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's a pope?"
Mind you this was a Catholic high school. The girl was 17. And had been going to Catholic school her entire life. Yup.
Nasty_nana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was doing a connect the description to the shape. Had a girl ask what shape a toilet roll was... she was 13. Thankfully I didn't have to explain, I think my face screamed "what the actual fuck" and her friend showed her.
Float_OnAlright ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If you eat lettuce and you don't really digest it, then where does it go?"
...Teacher blinked slow and said "Narnia."
leviathandeviathan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the phone number for 911?
sennets4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student asked how to spell DNA... Not the full word Deoxyribonucleic acid, no.. The abbreviation DNA. He wasn't trolling or anything, he's just never passed a test.
Vansia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher: This is more of a statement that I made once. Teacher is doing role call, typically I would just say "here" but I noticed other students were saying "present". This confused me a little, until I thought I had gotten the joke. One day I said "apple" because what's a present most typically left for a teacher. I facepalmed so hard when I eventually realised my mistake.
paroks1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I was in middle school one of my classmates (who was a well-known douche) raised his hand and asked our teacher, "Mrs. Y, what does semen taste like?" She looked him dead in the face and said "I don't know, George, why don't you try it and let me know?"
kielly32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it had to be a Mr. Y I'm sure he'd be unemployed. lol
yes4me2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read no bad question. You are only stupid until you know.
violetnap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid: Do birds have doctors? Me: yeah, they can go to vets. Kid: no, like, are there birds that are doctors that the other birds can go to? Me:...no
She was 15 at the time.
lejetwerkeng1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, during a sex-ed session that was actually really informative and comprehensive, one of the topics was how oral sex can give you STDs, something quite a few of the students didn't seem to understand. But my favorite question was from one of the girls to my left: "But what if you drink bleach?"
kielly32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha Jesus have mercy. I hope she was a troll and knew the difference.
sennets3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual teacher here. 15 year old : "Is Russia part of China?" 17 year old : "Do the trains run when it's raining?" 14 year old : "Is a second the same as one second?" 16 year old : "What are odd & even numbers?"
nobodytrickedme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went on a short summer Study abroad program as a grad student (I had to get permission and do some extra classwork as it was a Senior Level Class) The class was on the World Wars and we spent 2 weeks in England and France. My class was the innaugural trip. We were supposed to spend a week in England and a week in the Normandy region (Normandy Landing Beaches and northern sections of the Western Front of WWI)
While standing on Utah Beach literally feet from the English Channel, idiot undergrad asks this "Professor, is the state of Utah named after this Beach?" The professors looked dumbfounded. Her 23 classmates looked at each other to confirm what they had heard and instantly two dozen "accidents" were planned. I dont know how she made it off that beach.
That was the last time the University offered that trip abroad.
crazyrat25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plagiarism? Why are you talking about that thing that rats spread about?
BigGameHunter4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in my 7th grade history class and we were talking about why we celebrate the 4th of July when a girl in my class said aloud "oh I thought we just shot off fireworks for no reason." (Not sarcasm, trust me) This same girl would go on to get pregnant our freshman year of highschool.
Roswell85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My company announced a fun green event for our sales staff that said they would plant a tree for every 10% of sales growth. Guy in a 200 person meeting raises his hand and asks, "if we lose growth, will they cut down a tree?"....silence.
404_no_username ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Am I still going to fail this test?" after their phone started to audibly give them answers to a question on the midterm.
TheFightingMasons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When our 6th grade class had to read Treasure Island the teacher asked a student what he thought mutiny meant. With full confidnce he told us that it was how the sailor's mutated if they were out at see for too long.
The kids older brother had been messing with him, he was so sure he knew the answer too. Whole class as well as the teacher coulnd't stop laughing.
poop_on_you ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd don't know if I would call it stupid, but any question that is answered in the syllabus is really annoying.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg! There are definitely stupid questions! My favorite was a student who thought that "wake and bake" meant waking up to make pancakes.
Sarria22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pancakes aren't even baked!
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But...pancakes aren't even made in an oven
EWNightmare13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Fiancรฉe teaches 9th and 10th graders and a girl once asked her if babies came out of your belly button. It took a bit for her to get over the shock and explain how babies are made to this girl
DiscusDabber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my class asked how to spell DNA. We were in 9th grade
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deanay
Dheaneigh
Dee Ennay
111omnipotent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my brother class a guy asked "did napoleon and Hitler invade Russia together?" (9th grade) the question was inspired by my brother saying "one does not simply invade Russia, both napoleon and Hitler perished to them" (he is crazy about history) the worst part is that they were seeing ww2 in history class.
Ackrid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late, of course. Not a teacher, but in my driver's ed class years ago, a girl asked "Is forty an even number?" and "Are wheelchairs street legal? Like, can you drive them on the highway?"
PrayB2cthulu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How long was the 30 year war again?
This was in Germany because Americans rarely learn about that war in school
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL about the 30 year war
rumor33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third grader, taking a standardized reading test on a computer. Test is litterally called 'Reading'. Student is doing the test and then is looking at a page and a half long passage for a 15 minutes or so. She then raises her hand and asks me, with all the wonderment in the world, "Are we supposed to read this?"
PHDes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question on exam: Why is it difficult to determine how fast objects are moving in space? Student's response consisted of a detailed description of how confusing it is for wizards to disapparate (obviously a Harry Potter fan) from planet to planet. He also spelled his own name wrong.
zacktheking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone looked through a telescope at the moons of Jupiter and said, "Is that the Earth?"
ASovietUnicorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recently on a study abroad trip in Cuba, "If Fidel didn't die would he still be alive?"
Took me a second to comprehend what I'd heard.
mupton0916 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little late but I'll still share.
Had a student once ask if her friend who was lactose intolerant could still eat eggs. I said yes, and asked how the two foods were related. She said because eggs come from cows. I stifled a laugh but it seemed she was serious. So I got to explain to a highschool freshman how chickens work...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How many quarters in a hockey game?"
Smokey_McNoggin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good one. Hope they know there's five.
knifepar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, But when I was 13 a kid in class thought ponies weren't real, and that Tonga was in New Zealand.
finnthefrog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but as a student in the 11th grade, I once heard a particularly stupid kid say "wait, how could Schindler's List have won Best Picture if it was in black and white." He wasn't criticizing the films quality. He legitimately thought that Best Picture had to do with the visual appearance, AND that Schindler's List was visually a failure for having been done in black and white.
Smokey_McNoggin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HA. If they only bought better cameras.
CaptainDRob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grader asked me if a woman's egg could dislodge and travel up a man's penis during sex, resulting in a male pregnancy.
Smokey_McNoggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can't, can it?
panda388 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for saying this, but it was funny because he was so into his work at the time, but he goes, "Mister.... How many el-bee-esses are in a pound? (How many lbs are in a pound?)."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I had a classmate tell me that the first blue eyed people in the world were banished to the mountains of "Caucasia." This is where they developed white skin.
ashellwhore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my classmate once asked my geometry teacher what language French was
VodkerAndToast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is the pope Jewish?"
"Are satellites those things that fly overhead with the blinking lights?"
IsThisTheKrusty-Krab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a senior in high school asked my English teacher - "Do 'go dog go' and 'cat in the hat' rhyme with each other?
charli1409 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got asked just today by a 16 year old revising for his RS exam, "what religion are Catholics?" I replied "Christian". He responded "no my name is Owen miss". I was worried by his initial question, he's been studying this for 3 years!
AnnieMilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you ask the questions yes or no?
On a scale of 1 to 10, what's your favorite candy?
DudeLost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Class mate. Tafe college so she's about 19-20 years old Wouldn't ever drink coffee. She finally explained why. She was worried it would make her heart turn black. Her mum apparently...
USDisFiatCurrency ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "what would happen if the moon suddenly was no longer there?"
8th grader: "then there'd be no night time!"
TWells252 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"There are no stupid questions, but there are stupid people. Ask as many many "stupid" (with air quotes) questions as you'd like, because if you don't, you might end up a stupid person"
Tell a class that a few times, and they'll start to get REAL curious! Shout out to the goooood teachers! Happy Friday :-)
Hollyberry3140 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a school that was named after Teddy Roosevelt. We had a Black and white mural of him on the wall, and his face was a dark grey. One day a girl came into class and asked "was Teddy Roosevelt black??" ( This was right after we elected Obama the first time) I said "no, we just elected our first black president and Teddy Roosevelt was racist." She responded with "so he hated white people??"
ThatsHilariousBro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my ninth grade honors bio class we were doing a unit on reproduction and this girl asked what a vagina was.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I ask you a question?"
I know it's not limited to students, but the circular nature of this question drives me nuts.
Also, one of my students about seven years ago tried to tell me that her mother was alive in the 1950s (she wasn't - not even close). I asked her, "C, do you know when the 1950s were?"
"When there were still black and white people!"
She was 11.
irridescentsong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 8 student I had last year asked me if the Sun was really a star.
They thought it was another planet that was just really bright and on fire....
We were working on a unit about stars and the Sun and had already passed the lesson about the Sun being a star...
juniper-tree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a question, by an off putting answer. I asked, "how do I know if this is an addition or subtraction problem?" And the girl raises her hand voluntarily, and so I call on her. She then takes about 20 seconds to think about her answer instead of having it ready. Finally, she just goes "Mexico?" The other kids look just as perplexed as I do. I just go "no, who else?" I teach 2nd grade and she was so serious about her answer. I have no idea what went on in her brain or if she misheard the question, but we were talking about a math problem.
HeyMissW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What day is it?" while we were standing in front of a calendar with the previous days all crossed off.
"What time is it? I can't read a clock. I never learned how." A 4th grader telling me he never learned to tell time, which is a bald-Faced lie because that's 1st/2nd grade math curriculum and he wouldn't have been passed along unless he had learned that, at least.
Stressofchicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bit late to this but too good to pass up! I'm currently a student teacher but this actually comes from a classmate when I was in school.
In history class while looking at a photograph from world war 2 "Miss, was everything really black and white back then?" She was completely serious.. and it wasn't the first time she had asked something like that..
Solidwatcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had this guy in my class who asked his teacher whether or not are there living dinosaurs during the 18th century. After being answered no, he refused the answer and argued that there are dinosaurs living at that time. He was dead serious and all of his classmates including me were trying so hard not to laugh.
DRMaddock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had an HS senior ask me "Is April the one that comes before or after February?"
eze6793 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, nor was this in school, but a 24 year old chick asked me and my buddy this. "Do you guys like believe in the universe? I know that we've like found the edge of it, but don't know if I believe in it". Totally serious.
_wirving_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not when I was a teacher, and not a question per se, but in college this kid was - very obviously - cheating off my final exam. He got to one question, looked back at his exam, and then turned to me and said: "That answer is wrong."
I got a perfect score on that exam. Poor kid was too arrogant to even cheat properly.
akraftwerkorange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in grad school, I'd say half my class was Chinese, half of them could barely speak English. My best friend there was Chinese. She spoke perfect English and because they wanted us to do mixed groups for group projects, I always chose her if there was a choice.
Second semester, I got stuck in a project with another Chinese girl and a Cameroonian girl. Meetings and work consisted of just me and the Cameroonian girl. Her English was great, but she'd ask me questions about wording occasionally. We'd send it to the Chinese girl, who would add her part, print it, and turn it in the next day. I got the papers back at the end of the semester. She had rewritten all of our parts in horrible English. Our professor didn't count off for grammar, but he did on our papers. Some of the stuff I had written had been so badly mangled I wasn't sure what it was supposed to be saying.
Next semester, we collaborated with the online students for our capstone project. Her group was entirely online. She wouldn't do her work, the only thing she would ever submit was copied and pasted from Wikipedia. She got kicked out of the group, which meant she was responsible for completing about an 80 page project for a client. She showed up on presentation day ready to present with her group. She got an F, you had to pass that to graduate, so she sued the school.
The kicker, my friend went to work at Wal Mart. 6 months later, there was malfeasance at the management level, and they fired all the managers at her store. She couldn't get a job that could sponsor a visa and had to go back to China. Somehow, the terrible student is still over here.
spiky_odradek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the question was...?
cssc201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in my class asked, in the 8th grade, "Why did Abraham Lincoln kill Lee Harvey Oswald?" When we all looked at him with that "you're crazy" look he said "Oh, wait, no, that was John Wilkes Booth, wasn't it? John Wilkes Booth shot Lee Harvey Oswald." This was a highly gifted program, with some of the smartest kids in the district.
andrew_ryans_desk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got this one last week from a fourth grader: "How do you spell NFL?"
javoss88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the number for 911?
NotABlackGuy69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a student/teacher question but similar.
My family and I took a trip up to New Hampshire to see some family. One day my cousin goes "hey, how far is New England from here? I've always wanted to go."
She was 26 years old
johntheduncan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man my brother's a teacher and he has so many great examples: "sir is a sperm a fish" "sir what animal is a rock" and my favourite; upon seeing a pickled penis at a science centre: "sir what's that!?" [My bro] "that's a penis but it's OK not all are that big" [student] "but sir! Imagine being chased down the street by that!
eyebellel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when my younger sister was in high school, she asked her teacher in class "where does the sun go when it sets?"
My family still teases her about this today.
kamikazipenguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a gymnastics coach. Our job is to tell them how to do a movement better. Granted ,it was a 5 year-old, but I told her to keep her leg straight for a skill. She asked,"How?" "Don't bend it!" is what I wanted to say. Couldn't put it in simpler terms; explaining how muscles work would be to much.
Jimmyjams1994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my 12th grade biology class, the stupidest guy actually asked "so how does a women's uterus not just fall out when she stands up?" Also, "If there's hormones in birth control and it tricks your body into thinking your pregnant, if I took birth control would I test positive on a pregnancy test?"
The teacher didn't even know how to answer haha
Mackadal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grade 9 classmate asked "What's the Holocaust?"
TheHundredsOpenness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher once played a video insisting that Big Auto had "killed" the electric car in the early 2000s as part of a conspiracy theory (this was a woman who wore feathers in her hair and cried about water not being vegan because fish died in it). I asked her, if so, why was one of my dad's brothers very very rich from developing parts for electric cars, and was just about to enter a deal with GM?
She then said it was the stupidest question she'd ever got, so.
helpfuljap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's another word for 'was'?"
In some ways it's brilliant...
nebulous462 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate of mine asked this in class "if there's sugar in the water from a sperms whale's blow hole then why is it so salty?"
robbierottenisbae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, I'm a student, but I remember in middle school one day we had to color a map of America or something based on something or other, I don't remember. Now the whole class was really freaking stupid, including me, since the teacher was a coach who just did not know how to keep his class quiet. Every class he had was rowdy and loud and acted like a bunch of kindergarteners. So anyway, this kid comes up to the coach's desk, and he asks, "Hey Coach, does this on the paper mean we're supposed to COLOR this area red, or LABEL this area with the word RED. The coach had made me sit at a desk next to his because I was the loudest kid in the class and I never did any work in class (I would do it all at home instead), but I still didn't get any work done that day cuz I was laughing at idiots like that kid
JAproofrok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sophomore year American History 110, at a prestigious west coast university; a senior ROTC gal whilst discussing very broad strokes of the Civil War, "Wait .. Illinois is in the ..... north....? Are you sure?"
Kelevra29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
22 year old college senior once asked our music professor "what's sodomy?" in the middle of class.
davidmanedoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in freshman biology asked my teacher, "how do rock reproduce?"
UniquelyNameless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher So a bit of background story I'm going to tourism and hospitality school so what we learn is orientated to tourism. This year in geography class we learn touristic geography so basically about different countries and their touristic attractions. Our teacher gave us task to learn all capital cities in Europe and Africa and show it on map for bonus mark. So here the story begins. My classmate asked me where Italy is. We're from Serbia. I was really confused because she was there. I asked her was she serious and she was like 'Yeah i am serious just tell me' I told her and reminded her that she was there. She told me that she had no idea where it was and I just pretty much gave up.
Jack41EL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:48:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher, but there is a girl in my AP Environmental Science class that often asks really stupid questions such as "Are lizards really dinosaurs?" In the class, we also had to do arithmetic practice because calculators are disallowed on the AP exam, and I had to explain to her how to divide by a power of 10.
Rubberducklover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't a teacher and neither was the other party but if this had not happened to me I wouldn't have believed it was possible.
We were in drivers ed "studying" the drivers manual to waste away time not sure, when me and this girl were arguing and she called me stupid and was so petty as to try and write it on the board that, "(insert my name) is stopid" I could not stop laughing. Never let her live it down. Also, same class where my best friend asked me how to spell orange (she has lived all her life in the US). Yeah.
Mister-Es ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pre-k teacher here... I have a mandated by the school behavior system where students move up and down from colors according to the choices they're taking (not a fan of the system). Green blue and purple are good colors yellow is a warning and of course the so feared red. At the end of the day they can see in their folders the color that they are in. This one time I used a crayon that had a weird tone of yellow and one of my students goes: Sudent: "Why am I in orange?" Me: "It's not orange is yellow" S: "So.. orange is the new yellow?"
His tone of voice though... He's hilarious sometimes, very smart and special kid.
kafavaron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my advanced history class asked "isn't Afganistรกn in Canada? Why don't we just go up there and bomb them or something?"
notorious_NAP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"When is Cinco de Mayo?" - fellow employee at a Mexican restaurant
horses_for_courses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on some of these questions, I'm gonna have to give teachers more credit.
n0vag0d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12th grade Spanish class, discussing Cristรณbal Colรณn
Then, out of nowhere
"How long is a life sentence? "
malosa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:05 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is less of a dumb question when you realize that many 'life' sentences aren't -LIFE- sentences, they frequently are what are referred to as 'indeterminate' life sentences.
For instance, 15-to-life IS a life sentence, but with the possibility of parole at the 15 year mark.
kittypoachedsnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
now let me say im not a teacher but had a fellow class mate say I know how to cure AIDS!!!! the teacher said go ahead she said all you have to do is inject a syringe of clorox into your veins and you will not have aids any longer.......
catfroman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:36 on March 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, she's not wrong.
RightyDiggs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No such thing as stupid questions, just stupid people.
Shmerber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I shit you not, "What's an period cramps?" from an American raised, fluent English-speaking 6th grader. This was a month ago...
heellllllln ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:54 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah no it wasn't that kind she called it the "smoke from the shower" and she genuinely thought that smoke and steam were the same thing..
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:36 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish my students would ask me any questions at all. Even stupid ones. The stupider thing is to not ask questions at all.
earthquakeglued ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:07 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was Abraham Lincoln really a vampire hunter?"
Fluffyredpandaboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:43 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my best friend confused words a fair bit due to adhd. This is a gem as follows.
Friend: So, are you retarded? (Instantly starts trying to correct himself) My Dad (was teaching him to do mulching and hauling etc) : Eh, maybe sometimes.
lilheens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:12 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a high school Spanish test about Machu Picchu, while looking at a true false question that states "Machu Picchu is in Guatemala. True or False" ...... "Wait... is Peru in Guatemala?"
Face.palm.
Somekindawizard57 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:12 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a media studies class, Rupert Murdock was part of the topic and we were discussing his ownership of Sky. A girl in the class who clearly was not paying attention interjected abruptly with, 'Rupert Murdock? He can't own THE SKY!'. The lecturer literally face palmed....
skullgamer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:46 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a class mate was once talking about Hiroshima, since we were studying Japan at the time. Anyways, he goes, "I can't even fetish what the people were thinking when the bomb dropped."
Fathom. He meant to say fathom.
adriellealways ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:01 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to the party, but what the hell. Keep in mind, these kids are 14-19.
"Do we have 51 states?"
Not a part of a discussion. I have a reputation for not being an asshole when kids ask me questions and for looking up the answers if I don't know. Occasionally I regret that.
"Why can't they just learn American?"
"Will we still have to take Spanish if Trump is elected?"
"Will you get deported if Trump is elected?"
"Why can't Spanish just work right like English?" (Not a stupid question the first few times that it's asked, mind you, but when we've spent several weeks going over history so the students will understand that Spanish came first, it gets annoying fast.)
split41 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:10 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a highschool student ask "what's a sentence?" once
QuillFurry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:39 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was good friends with the teacher that coached the Chess Team. He was a physics teacher, and a kid once asked him (In senior year physics) "If I were on the moon, how far would I have to walk to fall off the edge?"
vagina_fang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:37 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's stupidest right?
Oh the ironing
Justinjah91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:00 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Strangely enough, there is nothing grammatically incorrect about stupider/stupidest. The only thing wrong with them is that using them makes you sound stupider than everyone else lol
Oh, and is "ironing" a joke or an auto correct issue?
vagina_fang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:20 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a joke yeah, a Simpsons reference.
DarkSchneider78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:44 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well this wasn't a question but an affirmation by my "brilliant " high school physics teacher. One time in class she was explaining how the sun rotates around the earth. Yep she said that in 1998. She was always very condescending to us and constantly telling us how we all were sooo stupid... Anyway I couldn't let that one slide so I raised my hand and said : I'm pretty sure that's not true and it's actually the other way around to which she replied oh yeah smarty pants how do u know that? Me: hmm cartoons..I'm pretty sure I learned that when I was a toddler. She kicked me out the class :D
TheSpoty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:11 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's the name of the ship in Titanic"
jellybeanqueen2121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:48 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 6th grade the school nurse came into our class to give us "the talk." The nurse asked, "do you guys know what a condom is?" And a girl in the back of the room yelled, "yeah I live in one!"
dpack84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:52 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one was me actually. In college I took a writing class and the professor asked us to write an essay on euthanasia. I thought she meant "youth in Asia" and I had many questions trying to figure out exactly what topic regarding the youth in Asia she wanted us to focus on. It took far too long to figure out what each of us were talking about.
_Fiku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:39:54 on February 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but some idiot girl in my class today asked what the fucking title of the notes we were taking. LIKE WHAT. IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF GOVERNMENT WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S ABOUT
Justinjah91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:36 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach astronomy. Last week a student said this to me:
"You just told us that the moon has gravity, but I know it's a star. So are you just using an old textbook?"
I'm (barely) willing to overlook the misconception that earth is the only place where gravity exists, but "knowing" that the moon is a star... At least she doesn't suffer from low confidence.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:44 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher senior in high school. As a junior in my us history class my teacher was telling a story of how a Native American tribe member spoke to his class when he was a kid. A girl asked him what he meant by Indian. When he asked her what she meant she asked "didn't all the native American get killed?" Probably not the stupidest question but the entire class laughed at her
AustinCLSU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:27 on February 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im an engineering student and in a senior level physics class before the final a student asked the teacher, who is also the head of the entire engineering department, for help because he could not figure out how to calculate his final grade. The teacher just laughed and told him if he cant figure that out he doesn't belong there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:27:03 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a friend of mine in my middle school history class asked the teacher is we were ever gonna go on a trip to see the underground railroad and look at the trains. She was a bit....special.
FortuneDays- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:33:03 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What magnitude earthquake would it take to flip over a tectonic plate?"
FFukuyama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:15 on February 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After having filled a white board with instructions, I left my classroom to stand in the hall as classes passed. When I returned, a "helpful" student had erased the board for me. When I expressed my frustration, another student raised their hand and asked, "Couldn't I just hit Alt restore?"
Then, when I was teaching middle school, I used to poke fun at my age by sometimes prefacing a statement with "Well back in the day of the dinosaur, we would . . .." And yes, one day as the kids were leaving one did say to a fellow, "Wasn't that cool that Mr.B could play with dinosaurs."
LoneWolf4717 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:53 on February 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a student, but i think this would top my teacher's list. We were in Chemistry and we had to heat a compound in a crucible crazy hot. The teacher jokingly says," dont touch it." As if it needed to be said.
Girl in the class with a reputation for being incredibly stupid immediately raises her hand and asks," so wait...when do we touch it?"
The entire class groaned at just how stupid of a question it was. My teacher blanked and just stared at her like," how stupid are you, do i even need to say it?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:31 on February 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm late to the party, but this conversation happened between a student in my class and the teacher. (Not the stupidest question, but...)
Teacher: "... What is a shroud?"
Student: "Is that a bush?"
Teacher: "No, that's a shrub."
QuesadillasEveryMeal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:39 on February 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a classmate in my 10th-grade history class asked "Was Columbus a Pilgrim?" I was asked to leave the room until I could stop laughing.
catfroman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:50 on March 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could see the confusion in timelines here. This isn't a totally ridiculous question.
QuesadillasEveryMeal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:09 on March 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is she's asked dumber things that's the only one that had me laugh that much and I can remember at the top of my head.
elandalder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:34 on March 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in high school history and had taken some cold medicine at lunch which tends to make me a little groggy/goofy. We were learning about WWII and my teacher said something about rivers and boats.
I raised my hand and asked if there was piranhas in freshwater rivers...and made a comment about unleashing them on nazi boats.
My class never let me live it down.
shino50ul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:09 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but... There was this guy in my classes during high school who'd ask absurdly stupid questions at least once a week
He once asked the maths teacher 'what the hell is a cylinder?'; he also seemed to not know anything about T-Rex's(what the hell did he do during his childhood), as he questioned "why would a T-Rex eat another dinosaur since it was a herbivour"; and seemed pretty unable to read whatever was written on the board, which was weird as fuck since he never failed to sit in the first chair.
And no, I'm pretty sure he was not high every single class for three years straight - he was the most antissocial, weird guy in the whole high school. We were never mean to him though - he was sorta like a young child we had to look after... Or that's what we put our hearts on, at least
eborrowman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:46 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught freshman Earth and Space science.
'What is space made out of?' Note: he didn't mean stars and planets and nebula. He meant the empty space in between.
'How can plate tectonics be real if the dinosaurs were in charge of earth' Never got to the bottom of that one.
Ecology for 11-12th grade
'Are plants animals?'
'So bees are kind of like roofies for flower sex?' This led to a conversation with the health teacher about the need for a date rape lesson.
Physics for 9-12th
'Then how come bullets shot in the air never come down?'
Legit question: 'How can the same letters represent different things. Like m is mass in the force equation but then if I put it next to a number, it's a distance?' Note: meters.
wolfereen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:52 on July 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is math related to science
joekeitha ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:30:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If this ever gets read I might win. I was teaching about the Cold War in a tenth grade world history class and the space race between US and The Soviet Union. I explained that the Sovieta got to space first, but that the US got to the moon first. At this point a girl in my class raises her hand; I called on her and she asked, "Mister, can we break the moon?" A couple of kids laughed, but she clearly wanted an answer. I tried to be kind and said, "do you mean like can we blow up the moon? Cause if so, I mean I guess theoretically we could but it would take a lot of explosives etc." A different girl asked, "what if we just shot it a bunch of times with a gun, would it break?" The class was laughing less now as clearly a couple of them were interested. I responded, "no its way too big to just shoot with a regular gun." To which the original girl replied, "Mister, is the moon bigger than my house?" A lot of kids laughed but I was still trying to be nice, "yeah, the moon is larger than your house." A third girl (there were boys in the class but on this day it was only girls asking questions for some reason) asked, "well is it bigger than our school?" At this point you might think they were just playing, but this the 5th 6 weeks of the year, I knew these students and I can tell when they are sincere. I replied, "yes the moon is much bigger than this school." I couldn't remember the diameter of the moon off hand so I thought it might be a good teachable moment so I said, "look, let's look up how big the moon is, and I googled the diameter of the moon. I put it on the projector and said, "ok look the moon is over 2000 miles in diameter." They don't really get it yet so I pull out a glove and point and say ok so that is like from California to New York or so and everything in between all in a ball, so no, you aren't going to break the moon." At this point I was thinking, "well that was ridiculous, but we made it through and they learned something." There was like a second of quiet while all this sunk in for all of them and then, without raising her hand this time, the original question-asker (in total and complete sincerity) goes, "So mister, if we killed the moon, that would end night time though, right?" I walked out of the classroom for a second because I couldn't keep it together. If y'all like these I have more.
tehzephyrsong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's simple
we kill the moon
S1LW3R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please more
Tbjkbe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The questions that I feel are stupid are the ones that they DON'T ask. How can I know if you don't understand something if you don't ask or tell me? I had a student just recently have this happen. She has not turned in any assignments all semester simply because she did not know how to get on Google Classroom and do so. She was too embarrassed to say anything as this was a beginning high school tech class. Only when I happened to have seen all of her completed documents on her computer screen while helping her with something else did I realize the problem.
so yes....there is NO stupid question but the ones you don't ask.....unless you ask a question that is totally random in the middle of a teacher's lecture. Not stupid....but very annoying.
VY_Cannabis_Majoris ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Educators of all fields should know that the phrase "there are no such things as stupid questions" was created to encourage students to ask questions they otherwise wouldn't out of fear of looking stupid.
These types of threads promote the idea that there is indeed stupid questions and a student can look stupid when they ask them. This phrase was invented to achieve the opposite.
Any educator who doesn't support the phrase is a hack.
niknight_ml ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any question asked with the purpose of wasting class time is a stupid question.
VY_Cannabis_Majoris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could consider that a wasteful question. It still has an answer.
Zerixkun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are stupid questions, though. And acknowledging in a reddit thread that there are, indeed, stupid questions does not mean you do not support the phrase's use in education.
JinDenver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:14:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this entire thread is why I could never, ever be a teacher. I wouldn't be able to refrain from roasting idiots every time they asked a stupid question.
It's not like I'm superior, I'd deserve to get roasted too, I just wouldn't be able to hold back.
Jack_Z_Dewitt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do we know it was called pangea.
Kangabolic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was teaching AP Environmental Science.
I made a comment about the amount of whale semen in the ocean... Young lady raised her hand... "is that why the ocean tastes so salty?"...
It was one of those questions so bad that that the other students in he class didn't even crack a laugh... they just looked onto her feeling really bad.
slutforcrescentrolls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has already been posted several times on this thread almost verbatim.
burneraccs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I teach English as a foreign language and I had a really hard case with a 50 year-old man. By the time we were about 80 classes into his course, I popped a question at the beginning of a class:
Me: "How are you?"
Him: "No, I don't."
At this point I switched to native language.
Me: "Okay, so what was the question I asked?"
Him: "If I was well."
Me: "Not exactly. Remember, there was a question word at the beginning of the sentence, i.e. 'how'. What does it mean?"
Him: "Where?"
Me: "No."
Him: "When?"
Me: "No."
Him: "What?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Where?"
Me: "You've listed it already and no."
Him: "I really should know these by now."
Me: "Okay, let's not get carried away. 'How' means how in English."
Him: "Uh-huh."
Me: "So what does 'How are you?' stand for in English then?"
Him: "It means how am I?"
Me: "Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's iiiiiiit. Therefore it's not a yes/no question and you have to give something away about your condition and there is a very much standard reply to that question, remember? So, let me try and ask you this again and see if you can remember [back to English] 'How are you?'"
Him: "Errrm... No, I don't."
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Theorentic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a first aid instructor come into a 6th grade class for some basic first aid. He was talking about how if someone is stabbed with a knife and the knife is still in them you want to leave it there to help clog up the wound and stop the bleeding. A student asked if the knife falls out should we put it back in? Still makes me laugh to this day about 10 years later.
TheEasyOption ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:53:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, it was a teacher that let a lot of these kids down.
riqing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am the student that asked a stupid question just for the shits and giggles.
"If ham is made of pork and pork is haram, why does Muhammed have ham in his name?"
blondfyre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a twin sister, so one day in my algebra class I got into a debate with a classmate regarding the possibility of male/female twins can be identical. Obviously, I said it's not possible to which my classmate vehemently disagreed. The discussion eventually led us to asking the teacher, who said yes it was possible for a boy and girl to be identical. Face palm.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In this day of transgender rights, anything's possible. And of course there's the famous case of the kid raised as a girl after botched circumcision, and he had an identical twin brother. But yeah, in general you'd think the genitals would give it away. That said, I've known boy/girl multiples that look very similar. And I suppose if one twin had some kind of intersex mutation develop after the two split, that could effectively result in "boy/girl" identicals.
blondfyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But wouldn't both twins have to be intersex for them to be identical? The two would have to be exactly the same to be identical. And trans kids wouldn't be identical still.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Identical twins are more correctly called "monozygotic" twins. It means they began as one fertilized egg that split into two developing fetuses from the same DNA. It's why they look the same, apart from fingerprints or whatever. So you could have monozygotic twins where one is trans or where one mutates after the split, at least in theory.
panspal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:13:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Not a teacher but...
HarrysonTubman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:46:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman year of high school, we were discussing how matter is never created or destroyed. One girl raises her hand and says, "Wait, but like, when a girl gets pregnant, isn't she like, creating matter?"
Nerospidy ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 14:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a completely legitimate question for a 14-year-old who doesn't fully understand nutrition.
steveinbuffalo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"yes - a serious matter"
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
heppy keke day!
crazybitchgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way i learned it is that matter can be created and destroyed, its energy that cannot be created or destroyed, only changed from one form to another.
Example: people can create matter in hadron colliders.
102bees ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing, my dude. You can turn energy into matter or matter into energy but (barring quantum bullshit) you can't create or destroy either of them.
crazybitchgirl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:09:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you can turn energy into matter and matter into energy, but that is literally creating matter and destroying matter, energy cannot be created or destroyed because when you are creating matter the energy is just contained in the bonds, matter is usually considered potential energy.
Toxicitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, energy can be destroyed.
Example: people can destroy energy in hadron colliders, it then turns into matter.
The real thing you can't create or destroy is mass-energy. You can convert between the two, but not destroy it. The sun turns matter into energy.
crazybitchgirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:34:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's not destroying energy, that's changing it into matter isnt it?
Toxicitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, you can't create matter either, since you're just making it out of energy.
crazybitchgirl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:49:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but you are still creating matter.
you have literally just said my point that you can create matter, whereas energy is just converted into a different form.
Toxicitor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:09:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you can also change it back, like how the sun creates energy by desroying matter.
crazybitchgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it doesn't create energy its releasing energy thats stored in matter, matter is just potential energy, matter can be destroyed, energy can not be destroyed.
like ur example the sun is destroying matter, its being changed into light and heat, you cannot destroy light or heat.
Toxicitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But my argument is your statement goes both ways: You're not creating matter, you're releasing matter that's stored in energy. You're not destroying matter, you're changing it into energy.
The way most scientists prefer to look at it, you are destroying matter and energy, but mass-energy equivalence is preserved. That means that if right now, I changed all the matter in the universe into energy and measured the amount of energy, that is and always will be the same amount of energy that existed just after the big bang.
HarrysonTubman ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I think it's called like the conservation of mass or something, where like it's possible for matter and energy to go back and worth (or at least in theory), but I didn't want to get in trouble with bad physics.
crazybitchgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes like within an enclosed system the amount of energy in that system remains the same even if converted to mass or vice versa
Toxicitor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're teaching high school? God, america's education system is bad.
You can turn matter into energy, that's how the sun works.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Freshman year of high school, we were discussing how matter is never created or destroyed."
Yeah, our education system sucks, but for some reason you don't know how to use context clues.
Toxicitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a small, boring australian primary school with its fair share of idiots, and I knew about conservation of matter coming into high school, which started at year 8 (recently changed to year 7). Please explain how year 9s aren't advanced enough to be learning the exceptions to conservation of matter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:08:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, really pulling out the big guns, are we? "How come my admittedly arbitrary school teaches that a grade earlier than his school?" A more relevant question would be:
How come we start with reading comprehension in elementary, but an Australian high school graduate doesn't understand its basics, or the fact that he should capitalize the first letter of his own country?
RachelAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the USA.
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
matter and energy are basically the same thing, matter is just "stuck" energy that has mass.
Helpmebuildpc55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck I had a girl in a college class say the same thing!
ryoshi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: kids who don't learn enough about maps in geology
FunataPunata ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:29:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Geology, huh?
jinxandrisks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have never had a geology or a geography class. Are geography classes really that common?
JYL007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not teacher, college student. In a history class last semester when going over ancient civilization a student asked when Noah's ark fit into the timeline... teacher responded very politely... I was in shock that really happened. (Also had people ask alien questions about the pyramids but that's not really that crazy, that's just a fun conversation)
KilruTheTurtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
Macehammer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can people please just tell the age instead of grades? Not everyone is from america.
quantasmm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:24:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please add one to all your ages. Not everyone turns 1 on the day of their birth like they do in China.
Macehammer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:42:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So catering to everyone who isn't from 1 specific country in the world is the same as everyone catering to a single specific country on earth to you? That's some arrogance.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was kidding. But I've learned the european grade system so that I can understand european reddit posts. The US just numbers everything after kindergarten 1 through 12. Just add 6 to the grade and you get the approximate age. primary is 1-3, middle is 4-6, junior high is 7-8, high school is 9-12.
i've met several europeans. Think about whether they regard themselves and their cultures as much better than americans, and whether that constitutes arrogance itself. the dumb american brush is often very broadly stroked.
Macehammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thinking any culture is better than any other culture is stupid in and of itself. Sure, there's some parts of certain cultures that I don't agree with on a human rights level, but that's another story.
thepaligator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one time in science class a classmate asked if there was such thing as a tri-sexual. It was 1996 so at the time we all laughed.
Its sad that this is a legit question now.
somekindofhat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It always was. "Try" sexual. People who try but never get any.
exhustedmommy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie I laughed WAY to hard at this.
tsquaredwsu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First grade teacher here. The stupidest question is the "what are we supposed to do?" Question immediately after I tell you what we're doing, have a student explain it, then tell you again in a different way. I GAVE YOU THE DIRECTIONS THREE TIMES PAY ATTENTION!!!
kickbored ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I FEEL YOU!!!! And it doesn't only happen to first graders mind you. I taught college freshmen and I expected this question every time I had to give out an exam sheet!!
Rainhall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why teachers can't get students to engage and ask questions.
Many of the questions in this thread are from students who clearly had some big gap(s) in their background knowledge, but they were clearly working with the material in their head, trying to understand it. These students put themselves out there to ask a question, to expand their understanding, and to be a slightly smarter person than they were the moment before.
Good for them. Much better than the student who knows they're confused, but won't ask because the social price they would pay is of more value to them than understanding the material better.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will get buried, and I'm not a teacher but:
Recently my sister asked me if soup went down the food gullet or the liquid gullet.
InSetsofThree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was teaching "Paradise Lost" in a first-year literature course. One of my students asks me why there aren't any dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden. I try my best to answer the question, and tell her that since there weren't any significant fossil discoveries until the eighteenth century, John Milton won't have known about their existence, and certainly wouldn't have thought to put them in the poem. I stare at her. She stares at me.
That's when I realize that she thinks humans and dinosaurs co-existed.
Yonefi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do we have to learn history that's in the past. Why can't we learn about what's going to happen in the future?" He was serious.
polysemous_entelechy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: "Teachers of reddit"
A: "I'm not a teacher, but"
imahawki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if any of these questions are intentional. I used to torture my teachers by acting dumb. My newly graduated science teacher had mistakenly disclosed that her boyfriend was a professor in the astronomy department of a local university. I deadpan asked a whole series of questions just build up to asking if he had pictures of Uranus.
dasilisk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread:
"I'm not a teacher, but...."
akjoltoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time a student asks me something along the lines of "Why do we need to know this?" I feel that they are asking a stupid question.
I've always hated the notion that there are no stupid questions.
You might argue that there are no (or very few) questions that one shouldn't ask. But that doesn't mean a lot of them won't be stupid.
If you have a brain fart of some kind, asking that stupid question can help right your train of thought and get you back on track and following the idea.
I don't think I've ever laughed at a student's question, unless it was a joke. I'm not one of those autistic professors that just stares at students when they tell a lame joke either. I give a chuckle or pity laugh like a normal non-autistic person and move on so its not awkward. But I have gotten frustrated and even angry with students questions before. Sometimes its even shown a bit. Interestingly, that was pre-tenure. Post-tenure, my patience has increased a lot.
Toasterflakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my sister once asked "how do you spell US?" She was 100% serious. Needless to say, we haven't let her live it down 7 years later
angryguy4444 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy.
Not a teacher but a student who was there when it happened.
It was a biology class, we were studying human reproduction. At one point, the teacher said that human sperm contained a lot of sugar. One of the student, a girl, raised her hand and asked innocently "so why does it tastes differently than sugar?". When she realized what she said, she brushed and stormed out of class crying while everyone was laughing at her. The reacher replied with a sarcastic tone "because your sugar receptors are on your tongue, not at the bottom of your throat".
Bodington_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss, which one's real, dinosaurs or dragons?
kinsiwoh63123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:29 on April 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
whiskeybill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher, but the greatest stupid question I ever heard was when I was in High School. I was on the football team and we were in the weight room lifting. My coach wanted to give the seniors who would be applying to college some SAT classes so he wrote on the blackboard in the back "SAT practice for seniors on Tuesday 3pm." One of the seniors stood in front of that blackboard for a good 10 minutes before he asked "Coach, why are we having Saturday practices on Tuesday?" To the coach's credit, he replied "Don't worry, you don't have to come."
fantomas_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is a primary school teacher and a beautiful big gay man. During sex ed they had the 'ask it basket's where you could write embarrassing questions on a note and the teacher would answer them. At the end of the lesson he pulled out a note that said, 'why would you ever put your penis in a vagina?!?' to which he had to answer, 'i have no idea'.
jazz2danz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No joke was asked this in ~2012. "Miss, I saw this movie about Abraham Lincoln fighting zombies. Why don't you teach us that stuff and not this boring shit?"
Bearry15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a 7th grader asked "does the world actually look like that?" Talking about a pulled down map... she thought the world was flat
verdango ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm buried here, but I had a student ask me how many years does it take to graduate from the Electoral college.
DoctorBonkus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student in third grade ask me uf we could be sure addition really meant addition. Not a stupid question per se, and had she been 20 it could have been a great philosophical and linguistic discussion, but at this point she was almost panicking as her inner world fell apart because we could not be certain at anything and certainly not 2 + 2 =4. I hope she reads Decartes right now.
Gramage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I just had to point out that 75% of the posts here start with "Not a teacher but". Found it mildly amusing.
Bigchickenmac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SANKA!!! YA DEAD MONNN??
scifiwoman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:42:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeeaaahh monn
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kiss da lucky egg!
scifiwoman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that film! (RIP John Candy, he was ace)
crazybitchgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but i had an argument with an 19 yo guy who thought that people can get energy from drinking water. At first i thought he ment that water has calories or something . Nope he tried to prove his point by saying things like "but water has energy, waves are energy, water atoms have energy so water gives you energy" he couldnt wrap his head around it.
catsan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, water IS needed in many reactions that happen, but yeah...if we wanted that directly, we'd have fusion reactors in our bellies and high-pitched helium farts and burps.
kalakoi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
TheNessLink ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:54:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes
quantasmm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:25:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...that you could do anything!?!?
Dramic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one of the kids in my class asked if a woman could get pregnant with another child if she is already pregnant.
Astilaroth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:36:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's called superfetation, it can happen in mammals and while extremely rare and sometimes misdiagnosed because of twins not developing at the same rate, there are known cases of actual superfetation in humans.
Google it, make a TIL and reap your karma. You're welcome :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:39:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not that dumb if you're a kid.
Houseton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If another egg is released and there is sperm to fertilize why not?
TasteySoap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"When you say underground, do you mean under the ground?"
Houseton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underground railroad wasn't under the ground. Underground can be a synonym for secret. So that is not a dumb question depending on the context.
TasteySoap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was in reference to caves
reiderglider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid in Geography argue with me because she said that Louisiana was just a large city in Mississippi... 10th grade.
OgdenWright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was present in the history class when this came up. We were discussing Greek mythology, and how Athena was said to be born out of Zeus's head. A girl in class asked, without a hint of irony, "Does that mean boys can have babies through tumors in their heads?"
The7Reaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have asked her if she knew what the myth in mythology meant.
MrESinclair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blabla not a teacher blabla, got a boy in 11th grade asking our teacher, why masturbation isn't forbidden to prevent rape. Like... wtf dude!?
Astilaroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw that's sort of sad though ...
Mac2663 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school we watched the older Scarlet Letter movie. After it we had to draw a picture of our favorite scene. A girl legit asked if color existed back then because the movie was black and white.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only the letter A had color.
eseka0cho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked if I could bring my skateboard to the Disneyland trip in front of the whole school. The whole school erupted in laughter.
Random_Letters_btmwq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was another student in my junior year chemistry class. We were organizing elements by metal and non-metal as an ice breaker game and she goes "wait, is lead a metal?"
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not pencil lead!
estebu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looking at the map on the wall:
Why there are two Pacifics?
nihaoGabrielle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very ernestly stated, "Will you go out with me to the new Capitan America movie?". That one. That one was a stupid question. Kiddo got a raised eyebrow from me and awkward stares from the rest of the class, but really, I wanted to ask if I looked like a pedo to him or something.
nouji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a grad student I was TAing a molecular biology lab class for senior biology majors at a top university. Part of that day's protocol called for leaving the test tubes with reagents in them at room temperature for 30 minutes. One student raises their hand and with all seriousness asks, "can I just put my test tubes on ice since the ice bucket is sitting at room temperature?" I guess there are no stupid questions, only stupid people!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but yesterday a law student, when given a piece of colored paper as a cover sheet, asked the professor how to print on the colored paper. The professor asked if he could not load paper into a printer. The pupil was incredibly confused and couldnt grasp this concept at 25+ years old.
xthek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, not a teacher, but the most popular girl in school asking "Did we win the Civil War?" was too good not to mention.
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on where you are, I guess!
She could have meant the state you were living in.
xthek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:57 on February 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maryland sort of went both ways.
gunabchaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 13 year old boy ask me if the movie 'independence day', you know the Will Smith aliens attacking movie, was based on a true story. I had such a hard time not laughing at that question!
DiggyKalborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sixth Grade Biology:
"Are elephants plants?"
OuFerrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in ny class asked if goats were male sheep
jsimone33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but another student in my calculus class asked was hesitant on asking a question, the teacher told him there are no stupid questions. The student goes on to ask why we can just switch the variable of integration, (which is known as a dummy variable). This was an advanced class, so the student should have known this, and the teacher responds by saying "That isn't a stupid question, but it is a dummy question."
wtt90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher - was in the class. Middle schooler - has anyone ever collected plasma from the sun? Same kid - what day of the week is Easter Sunday this year? (It is a Catholic School).
Edit: dude is super cool though. Just a couple of airhead moments.
Thesuperpotato2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but there's a kid in my class who just doesn't know anything. He's a living stereotype of a sports jock, and it's hilarious. One day we all took a strengthfinder test and he asked, "does this one say communism?" It was communication.
Edit: a word
Dooglers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last year in college I took an into level advertising class that I mistakenly thought would be interesting. The teacher taught and tested with exact bullet points. For example, a question on a test might be what are the traits of someone who is creative. There would be 5 specific adjectives you would need to list. One of them was visionary. So when he is teaching this a kid raises his hand and says, "Does that mean blind people can't be creative?"
proXy_HazaRD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher,but. "When am I going to use this in real life?"
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imho this question applies to far too much of what you learn in school. Advanced math especially.
Nifti_pixi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my freshman history class, a girl interrupted the teacher who was preparing to hand out an exam to ask "Which is closer, Florida or the moon?" When the teacher said "Florida, of course." She proceeded to argue for 10 minutes, trying to figure out how Florida was closer, even though you could see the moon.
BoredMai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, I was the one asking the question.
I asked what was the difference between vinegar and vinaigrette. I honestly had no idea what vinaigrette was exactly, I've never been a salad person (trying to change that because of health, now).
Also, I was 16.
GaimanitePkat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:22:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That isn't based on ignorance of simple concepts such as time, direction, size, et cetera. It's based on you never having had a vinaigrette. Totally understandable :)
I like balsamic vinaigrette best.
BoredMai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was still a fairly stupid question. XD
As for stupid stupid, a classmate - 17 years old at the time - asked why A-(-B) becomes A+B. Last year of high school.
bluebasset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do we have to do both sides?" Right after I just finished explaining that they only needed to do side 1.
"Do we have to do both sides?" Right after I just finished explaining that they only needed to do side 1 AND wrote that on the board.
"Do we have to do both sides?" Five minutes after I explained that they only needed to do side 1, AND wrote it on the board, AND told them if they asked me if they needed to do both sides, I would say "yes." Haven't followed through on that last part yet-I just stare at them with an arched eyebrow until a classmate takes pity on them and tells them the answer.
Xiphias_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but I have a whiteboard that's partly a smart-board and partly a normal whiteboard. I had written an important mathematical formula on the whiteboard part to the right and I was currently using geogebra program on the smart-board/projector part. I was referring to the formula with the mouse cursor, but it was ofc limited to the smart-board part so I moved it as close to the edge as I could.
Then a hand went up. "Is it possible for the mouse cursor to move all the way over to the formula?". I tried to keep a strait face and very factually say "No, that is not possible" while the whole class was face-palming.
Gr1pp717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a classmate in intro to engineering who would prompt the entire class to audibly sigh every time he raised his hand. We would have guest speakers from various professions, and he would always have a plethora of completely off topic, asinine questions. Like, asking an electrical engineer how to start an insurance company...
No clue how, but he graduated.
Pingly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College Algebra: Do you get a different answer if you do "x * y" rather than "y * x"?
Nettius2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:53 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This depends on the operation "*".
I suppose it wouldn't matter if you were doing Commutative College Algebra.
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got one from the perspective of a former student.
It was Brian the smart kid in the class. He asked the teacher if he could have a pen because he'd lost his. The teacher told Brian to come to the front of the class and have a look around, and put his hands on Brians shoulders and made him face the class and do a 360. The pen was behind Brians ear. The kids laughed and Brian didn't ask questions anymore.
Thi51Chick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a tutor to kids in high school, so not really a teacher. I was working with this girl who's class was working on exponents for about a week of two. She looks me dead in the face and asks "how is nine a perfect square when a square only has four sides". I started laughing.... she was serious
esoteric_enigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's not really that stupid considering how ignorant many Americans try to keep kids about sex but a 8th grader asked "If you swallow cum, do you get pregnant"?
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure I read a news article once where a woman did get pregnant from swallowing semen because she had some stab wounds and the semen was able to reach her reproductive parts. What they did not answer was why she was sucking dick when she still had open stab wounds.
esoteric_enigma ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because you've been stabbed doesn't mean you give up on everything that's important to you.
Angel_Hunter_D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"no, but you do get to keep your boyfriend"
nicky_bags ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a student who was bright but also a bit strange and spacey. He would ask silly questions almost daily, and honestly I would look forward to them because I usually needed a good laugh. Anyway here were the two best that I still remember:
"Does that guy have laser eyes?" I had no idea who or what he was talking about, as there was no reference point for "that guy" and the "laser eyes" made me think he was talking about a superhero. Superman? Cyclops? Ironman? No, it turned out he was referring to my direct supervisor who had had laser eye surgery. I had to explain that they weren't the same thing.
"Can animals become Asian?" Yeah, still never figured out what he meant by that one.
twinsaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7th grade Language Arts, I'm teaching a unit on poetry. After a week of reading poems, listening to poems, talking about poems and learning about poets, a kid in the front row (who has been there for all the ~5 classes we'd had on poetry so far) raises his hand in the middle of my lecture and asks, Ms. [myname], what's a poem?"
There was a collective class facepalm.
ninjanathaniel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my ex best friend once asked my math teacher if it was a minus or a take away, never forgot it
thisguyhasaname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About a month ago I was making up a quiz in a Biology class and the teacher was teaching a standard class (since I'm honors were ahead of them so the stuff she was teaching wasn't on my quiz) and they were talking about genetics and genes being passed down.
A kid asked who you get your DNA from if youre adopted...
BungoPlease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister in law told me about a time she was teaching her 1st graders about arctic animals, and one of her students asked "is a pencil an African animal?"
Vested1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but there was a girls I knew when I was in college we were both and Ed majors. In an intro health class this girls raises her hand to ask if it was true that a girl couldn't get pregnant if she was on top. (Her concentration was biology) I happened upon her Facebook profile she is now a high school biology teacher. (This has caused a great internal crisis)
Destructios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my fellow students in high school asked if WW2 was fought in Georgia, the state, because she had "been there and seen the trenches from WW2."
Aimingforsuperior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AP Physics, a student asks what happens if the metal latch of a seatbelt catches fire.
Searre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a college freshman: What is alphabetical order?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but some kid in my high school chem class asked if "vagina juice" was acidic or alkaline. The teacher turned red and sent him out of class.
ReallyHadToFixThat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FYI - it is acidic.
MWL987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not my story, but one told to me by a Yale prof about a student who was really confused about the law of identity: A is A. The student was apparently just not understanding it, even though the professor was explaining it very plainly, even resorting to using props from his desk. After maybe 10 minutes, it finally clicked, and she understood. She then said, "okay, I think I got it. But, what about 'B is B'???"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher... or a question but someone in one of my classes when I was younger claimed the Earth was only 17 years old -- even after admitting her mom was much older than that.
Santihu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"if you take squared root from 0 is it plus or minus 0?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, silly. We were the West.
Superzeffa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my 11th grade chemistry class a student asked if aluminum was a gas because its with all the gasses on the periodic table. This was halfway through the year.
The_Rodigan_Scorcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching a group of Music Tech students, we're going to mic up an electric guitar setup. I say - "where does the sound of an electric guitar usually come out of?" (bear in mind there's a guitar plugged into a Marshall Stack quite literally in FRONT of them). A class of around eight, and they gave these sorts of answers: "The guitar?" "The player?" "The studio!" "The monitors?" "The strings." "The microphone." "The guitarists hands?"
It was fun to see what answer they were going to come up with next. Nobody said "the amp".
thecinnaman123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach programming courses for my university. All my students are in computer science, engineering, or applied mathematics. Had someone ask me what the cross between the numbers meant. Like in "2 + 6". In a college level course.
iplaybloodborne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If a lady swallows sperm can she get pregnant?
trash332 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a teacher say," yes, in fact, there are stupid questions"
juanchito2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but 5th grade sex Ed. Kid next to me raises his hand and goes, "Do you pee yellow because you've been eating mustard???" I still remember that moment 12 years later
alstontowers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How did the Egyptians build the pyramids, did they use a helicopter?"
It definitely would've made the process somewhat easier...
DisturbingDaffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Who is your favorite cake?"
eggsandgrapes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one time a kid asked in my class if you can get STD from drinking someone's piss
smuffleupagus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...I kinda want to know now. I'm thinking probably? Like maybe chlamydia in your throat or something.
Kor_of_Memory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm bending the rules pretty far here, but I'm an IT guy, and started a government job the same time as another IT guy.
After working the job for 5 or 6 months, the guy I work with asked me, "Hey, how do you do that thing where you google something?"
Ts4EVER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
History teacher from Germany here: not a question, but a test answer. The question was: "Would you say the French revolution was for nothing?"
The eighth grade student answered: "No I don't think so, because now French students have Bastille day off and otherwise we wouldn't have stuff to talk about in history class. Sure, some people died, but they would have died some time anyway."
Fogge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not lesson related, but we were going on a school trip to Auschwitz, and a student asked if there was Wi-Fi there.
jwalkr3822 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to school with a girl who asked and I quote, "how do rocks reproduce?" We were having a conversation in the elective Bible class about LIVING things being told to reproduce in Genesis. She was being serious...
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:26 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i've heard a few of these. luke 19:40 talks about the rocks crying out. hear that young enough and it plants the idea in your mind...
Lysergicassini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher but I was in a dining hall in college as a freshman and I heard a senior BIOLOGY student say..
"Wait... ducks can fly?!"
smuffleupagus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...my boyfriend is a software engineer. He is not stupid, but sometimes he lives in a special world all his own. When we first met he didn't know ducks could fly. He was 28. I was like "we are in a migratory bird sanctuary. How would ducks migrate if they couldn't fly?"
Lysergicassini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly attribute it to people just not spending enough time outside.
smuffleupagus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's actually much more outdoorsy than me but he grew up in the suburbs and I grew up in a place that was developing from woods and farmland into suburb, so I guess... I saw more ducks? IDEK.
voodoo003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just last week I had an 8th grader ask me if Pluto was a moon of Earth.
templefugate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In English class a girl randomly asks "Do squirrels eat lettuce?"
No one was talking about squirrels. I don't even know how it came up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do people really sweat in sweatshops?"
PolarRobotFrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I once heard a student ask if Nova Scotia is a continent (psst: it's a province).
ConfuciusMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA in college for Intro to Computer Science. I gave a lab. Gave an hour and a half for the lab. So I get a few questions throughout, provide hints, provide any help I can. At the end of the lab, maybe 5 minutes remain, a few of my....poorer students come up to me and form a line. They bombard me with very simple questions which I answer, and finally the student at the front of the line goes "Well can you just give us the answer?".
thenoogler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were watching Band of Brothers during a Holocaust unit in Honors English, 10th grade, the scene where they liberate the concentration camp. They're running through the dialogue where all the GI's are being told that the captives are Jewish, and this one girl in the class asks "Is this All Quiet on the Western Front?" We had finished reading that book a month previous... And she was Jewish.
Adelphe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher... but overheard this in an adjoining classroom in highschool....
Student: "Is water a species?"
Teacher: "No, but bears are."
bobcat1059 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fiancรฉe is a high school English teacher. Honors student: "Miss, what's a daft-er?"
"...do you mean daughter?"
She also had a kid insist that "I" only needed to be capitalized at the beginning of a sentence. His paper had lowercase i all over the place. He had intentionally reversed all of MS Word's autocorrects to capitalize it.
EsrailCazar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in one my husband's high school classes asked "If you could hold your breath long enough would you be able to swim under islands?".
Darth_Nihl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you see reflections in smooth surfaces, why can't you see your reflection in smooth peanut butter?
8th grade science.
lindsey_what ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 8th grade world history class, we were watching a documentary about the Aztecs and the Mayans. They were staging a ceremony and the movie had effects over it to make it look 'old'. One girl, who was known for being kind of a dingbat, interrupted with "wait... is this real footage?!". It was dead silent for a good couple seconds then everyone burst out laughing, including the teacher. She didn't get the joke :/
fro0ot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my classmate once asked our history teacher if WW2 was a true story or not
whorfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, heard from my 3-year college roommate:
"Is there dirt under the roads?"
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:23 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
whorfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:56 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I think I was not clear. My roommate told me the story. He didn't ask the stupid question.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:20 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhhh. Let me know if he knows the answer. (j/k) :-)
DrewPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend in my 9th grade physics class:
"So, does the sun get colder at night?"
UrsaPater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You mean that homework was due TODAY?"
Gre3nLeader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If I get a hand job in the pool, can the sperms swim up unto the lady and get her pregnant?"
drstrangermd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Park Ranger: "At what elevation do the deer turn into elk?" ...... My personal favorite: a person approached me on trail, reached into their pocket, and asked, "Is this bear scat." Flabergated I nodded yes. Before I say anything, that visitor was so happy they put the scat back in their pocket and ran back up trail to the rest of their group.
TheRealColdsnaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. In my freshman year of high school we were going over the Holocaust in social studies class. One student who was particularly good at asking bad questions asked:
"Can't you by genocide at a hardware store?" he apparently confused it with pesticide.
scoutnemesis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student asked this in bio class when we were discussing male reproductive system:
"Sir, what is the foreskin?" Our teacher's reply, "Come lie on this table and I will show you exactly what it is"
Coleslaw19438 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does puberty give you super powers?
5th grade boy during "the talk"
basquenv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid, because kids don't quite make the connection sometimes. Every year, in every chemistry class I teach, I get the question "do we dissect animals in here"? I always respond in the affirmative, and without doubt, that student drops, and transfers to anatomy and physiology.
Walleye72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, why do you lie to them?
basquenv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sarcasm, not lies
VulgarCommander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a classmate of mine asked if there was a tsunami in japan, why should the US be worried since it's on the other side of the world.
Crow_eggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was an English teacher in Thailand for a while and one of my colleagues used to do a quiz show type thing as his introductory lesson. He would give the kids a bunch of things they had to find out about him and they'd have to ask him questions to figure it out. Kind of a fun way to gauge ability and get acquainted with them and stuff. Anyway, a seventeen year old boy once asked him whether he was Japanese, then angrily repeated the question in Japanese (another language they learned at that school) when the guy laughed at him. He was six foot four and ginger.
jswens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A middle school teacher I know got asked who won the revolutionary war. They asked the student what country he lived in, but the best the kid could do was name the state.
waitwaitwhatnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching AP Us History. We're going over the Underground Railroad and I show a map with a bunch of the routes taken to Canada including a couple that go by way of the Atlantic Ocean. Girl raises her hand and asks how the railroad went underwater.
Walleye72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't sound that dumb to me coming from a student.
exhustedmommy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was confused when I first learned about it (they touched on it in all grades, so I first heard of it on kindergarten at the age of 6) I realized how ridiculous it was to think it was an actual railroad when we learned it in depth in middle school (age 13)
DaniliniHD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but someone in my year 8 class was positive that an atomic bomb had been dropped on London by the Germans.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
smuffleupagus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see someone's never had to clean the litterbox
ruarisaurusrrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in Year 7 (11-12 year old) a fellow student asked if he ate a fertilised egg would a chick grow in his stomach.
Still not sure what it had to do with our history lesson but it was hilarious
Player276 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but definitely the funniest thing i heard in class:
Background: The teacher explains schrodingers cat paradox. A girl raises her hand.
Girl: "Does that also work with dogs?"
Some guy across the room: "No, it only works with cats"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching sex ed; What happens when a female breast runs out of sperm.
The was much explaining that day.
CaptainSnowballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. My my science teacher once said that when he was teaching astrology that a kid looked into a telescope and asked if he could see the Earth form there. And he was completely serious.
OrlandoCoCo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can if you point it at the ground.
Mawbey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher but. A girl in my Religious Studies class didn't realise Las Vagas was a real place, she thought it was just in films. We were probably 14-15 at the time.
NSA_Chatbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about how the coding for MP3 uses the physiological properties of human hearing and the human ear canal to get that kind of compression.
"Do MP3s sound bad to dogs?"
ReallyHadToFixThat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is that a stupid question? Dogs have different hearing ranges to us. What we think of as a movie is a slideshow to a pigeon.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:21 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i agree. After reading the above, I'd wonder if MP3's might have garbage in the high and low frequencies or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While in grade school and learning about sex ed, our teacher had a box in the classroom that we could write down a question that we were too embarrassed to ask.
Having absolutely no friends and being bullied on a daily basis, I thought I had my way into the cool crowd. I would ask a question so funny, everyone would want to be my friend because of how funny and cool I was. I didn't write my name, but I wrote a special symbol on the paper to prove it was me who wrote it, because the weird quiet kid in class could never come up with something so funny at witty.
I wrote down "What does humping mean?" and put it in the box.
Next day teacher opens box and looks at the question, reads it out loud, and nobody laughs. Crickets. Fellow students even said something along the lines of, what kind of idiot wrote that" and everyone was wondering who was dumb enough to ask that. The teacher says that this is something you should ask your parents, while the teacher was maintaining eye contact with me.
Everyone laughed, but at my stupidity while I recessed into the corner of the classroom.
soredditculous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What year did things become colour?" "What?" "Like on the TV everything was black and white and that" "......"
ncart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade sex ed/biology. Teacher asked of anyone had any questions about things not covered in class. Girl raises her hand and asks if gay men have "feel good parts in their butt"
smuffleupagus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a valid question imo
OrlandoCoCo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the answer is "the prostate". I'd hate to think only one person in a male-male coupling actually got anything out of it.
AllHailRETCON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are snowmen mammals?
gunabchaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously not! Snowmen are cold blooded not warm
AllHailRETCON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Making it a stupid question thusly
spgcorno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an 8th grade student legitimately ask me why the water doesn't fall off the bottom of the Earth.
I didn't even know where to begin.
treyhunna83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th graders take physics?
smuffleupagus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Gravity" would have been a good place to start
SixBitShane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but during religion class, at the age of about 12-14, we were learning about Islam and the teacher told us about the prophet Muhammad.
Girl: Is he not the guy in the cave who blows things up?
Lydi-ahaha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On ending poverty: "Why don't we just put all the money in the world on a pile and everyone queues up and receives the same amount?" 14yr old student
smuffleupagus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student start a whole debate in class by going "why doesn't everybody work, and everybody gets paid the same" and I let it go for a while before I was like "you've just basically debated communism guys."
ianslays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my Econ class in high school we were learning about CDs (Certificate of Deposits)
Teacher: So you can't take it out early or else there is a penalty. Kid: Really? Not even if you hit the eject button?
Class goes silent and then in the back a kid yells "It's not a literal CD" This dude thought it was a disc
ShushKebab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's the Holocaust?"
He was 17.
treyhunna83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how's this a stupid question?
Matthew_BpBuds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was 17. Normally, it is taught in 5-6th grade history.
ShushKebab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in an Advanced History classes, an optional class which is usually supposed to be taken by those who already have a sound knowledge of modern history.
ReformedDigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were discussing Obamacare and it's pros/cons. I mention my brother has Crohns disease so it helped him out with the lack of preconditions. Kid raises his hand and asks if I'm dumber than my brother...because we all know how relevant that is to Obamacare...
Another good one was when a freshman in high school asked me what order the months went in. He didn't know when his birthday was going to be because he didn't know which month went after which.
shatters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: The class clown making jokes
TakeCoverOrDie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8 yr old me overhead some high-schoolers joking about masterbating
8 yr old me during class asks what it meant
mays-expeditions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While his classmates were getting lunch cards and lining up at the door to walk to lunch, at the same time of day we always leave to eat, I get asked by a 6 year old
"We going to lunch?"
VT2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher but knew stupid people" - We had a kid in our major that was known to ask dumb questions or make dumb statements on the regular.
One day in fluid dynamics we were talking about how water accelerates as it goes around a bend in pipe. The tighter the bend, the faster the water will accelerate. In the proof we would say that the acceleration goes to infinity as that turn radius of the pipe gets smaller. Kid raises his hand and proclaims "That's not possible". The teacher looks all confused and asks what he means by that, we just proved it. The kid says "That isn't possible because nothing can go faster than the speed of light." The whole theory behind it and proof just kind of went over his head and he was so fixated on the whole "infinity is faster than the speed of light" thing. He would do this type of thing daily if not multiple times a day.
GarlicPizzaBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Engand. A girl in my GCSE history class about 5 years ago asked who won WWII.
maziodore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher here, but i also live in England and several years ago a girl also asked the same question in GCSE history
GarlicPizzaBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sort of understand the question if you think of the entire number of nations that fought in the war, but when thinking about Germany vs England, surely it's obvious...
OrlandoCoCo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it was philosophical in nature. Does anybody actually "win" a war?
GarlicPizzaBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure she was too capable of thinking philosophically... (I had other classes with her too, not a bright girl)
asocialDevice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'so what what do you want me to do? ' after I've explained the prompt, provided a handout with detailed instructions and prompt, and shared and broken down examples w the class.
Note I'm a writing teacher, so there's a certain level of everything stdnts to develop their own ideas, write their own arguments. Sometimes you get that I've student who just expects they're teacher to tell them exactly what to and how to write. And that's the stupidest situation I get every now and then. (โฏยฐโกยฐ๏ผโฏ๏ธต โปโโป
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:33 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โฌโโฌใ(เฒ _เฒ ใ) poor table...
Delirium101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recall a professor saying "there is no such thing as stupid questions. Only stupid people that ask them."
MorningDew5270 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We've been big on inquiry learning in our board, well the province really, for a number of years. As we were transitioning, I realized my students were not strong in asking questions. I spent a lot of time in that realm: what is a good question, what's the difference between an open and closed question, etc.
Had a provocation about tidal waves/tsunamis. Around the circle we went, me recording all the questions as the students asked them.
I had to pause when I got "Why big are waves."
Scoutnjw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Are black people full of the same stuff as white people?'
gaw_Kerim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A seventeen year old girl asked me if the movie cowboys and aliens would bei based on a true story.
StaceyDon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher. UK exams include 'unseen poetry' (as in, a poem you won't have studied beforehand). Q: How can I write about it if I can't see it?
Hijis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher.
In 11th grade a girl in my history class asked in surprise "Wait, West Virginia is a state?" Note, we went to school in Virginia; you'd think she'd know the states next to hers.
topher78714 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my friend was teaching I believe 6th grade in Florida and one of her students thought Mt. Rushmore was a naturally occurring formation.
Delilahs_Pantyraid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you know the Titanic wasn't just a movie?"
This was a college student at an elite university who legit didn't know the movie "Titanic" was based on a real event and did not want to believe otherwise. I died a little inside that day as, I think, did the rest of my students.
Choingler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
French teacher here.
"Are horseradish and mayonnaise the same thing?"
"What?"
"Yeah, I mean, they're both white and come in jars."
Zap_Dannigan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driving instructor. Teaching Lane changes, girls asks "so, like, are lane changes even necessary?"
MachoNachoMan69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend asked me once if when you fly from NY to Europe whether you are traveling into the future or the past.
gunabchaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a good question. Just another way of asking if you gain or lose time when changing time zones.
MachoNachoMan69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She really thought it was actual time travel though. Like in superman
Koolkieran23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was Hitler Real?"
Jennifer this is english:
Felzlek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll speak for my teacher here. In 7th grade health class another student prefaced their question with "this is probably a stupid question." The teacher told us all that there are no stupid questions and I immediately raised my hand and asked "what color cows do peanut M&Ms come from?" He told me that was a very stupid question.
MysticalNarbwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably gonna get buried, but this is funny. Not me, but my Step-Mother used to teach English, but one day she was lecturing but the map of the United States was rolled down for the class to see. At somepoint through her lecture, she started pointing out location on the map when a SIXTEEN-year old girl asked her this: Why is Alaska so cold and Hawaii so hot when they are right next to each other. My step-mom's reaction was one of confusion before asking her what she meant by "close together".
The girl then said that they were bordering each other on the map. Technically speaking, they were, but that's because it was a map of just the USA and showed each state and to show Alaska and Hawaii, they were in their own zoomed in bracket on the bottom left of the map and thats where the Highschool sophmore thought the two states were.
Caneswinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno if this works in English, but the question I find to be the most stupid would be: "Are you Kidding?" I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but was once a fifth grader who witnessed another fifth grader asking "Narnia is a real place, isn't it?"
komangreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th Grade girls basketball game. Assistant coach points out to player on the bench that a player from the other team has an artificial leg from the knee down. Player on the bench contemplates this for a moment and then asks "is her foot real?".
throwmyselfaway9295 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm no teacher, but one time in my criminal justice class, a junior asks what fisting and castration was.
loki93009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay so clearly not a teacher butttt i have an answer to this question thats just... so sad.
In High School english class we were reading the canterbury tales, and there was one poem that was talking about sex or something to do with it and this girl shouts out
"Did they have sex in the middle ages?"
My english teacher without missing a beat said "No we all came from test tubes" and then continues with her lesson.
carnage1104 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I swear a fellow student asked this in tenth grade. Mind you some of her other questions were things like, "What are crops?" And, "Greece, that's in Asia right?" So she wasn't the brightest bulb.
This girl actually asked one day,"Mr. Insertteacher'snamehere, if they knew the conditions were so bad why did the slaves volunteer?"
Stunned silence followed that one for a solid ten seconds before he started in on the answer...
shad0wpuppetz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grade English Honors: "So wait, the Trojans are from Troy right?"
เฒ _เฒ
Charlie_Wax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While watching an old movie, one kid asked me, "Was there was really no color back then?" I don't think he meant was there really no color in movies. I think he was asking me whether there was really no color in the world.
Mr_Biscuits_532 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few months ago a fellow student in my class asked the teacher what male and female meant when filling out a form.
He was 15
skankboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll flip this. I was in seventh grade and the teacher asked the class if anyone knew why certain audio plugs are labeled male / female. She didn't know.
MeGrendel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:37:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on what the plugs identify as...Don't just assume their gender.
waterloograd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite is when 5 minutes before the deadline a student asks you to look over their assignment. I tell them that I can't mark it in front of them and the only comments I can make is if they missed a section of the report. Then when they don't get perfect they ask why I took if marks when I said it was good. I have to tell them every week that all I can do before the deadline, unless they have a specific question, is to point out major mistakes and that by our university's definition their 70 is a "good" mark. For reference, 80-85 is meeting all the requirements, higher means going beyond what was expected.
chuybear_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some kid in English class thought Canadians were they're own race.
smuffleupagus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: questions that result more from a lack of education than a lack of intelligence
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sitting on the john in the restroom of a Japanese middle school I used to work at, and my spidey sense starts tingling. I look up and barely manage to stifle a shriek as I find one of my students staring down at me from over the top of the stall (I could only see his head).
While my mind's busy processing the absurdity of the situation, little bugger says to me "Can we shit together?"
Your-Bosses-Dad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the teacher, but in my 3rd grade sex Ed class we had a question box. There were a lot of stupid questions in that box, but the one that sticks out to this day was " if I cut of my dick will it grow back". The entire class broke out laughing, the teacher had no idea what to say.
Coffeetime18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems kinda young for sex ed
Your-Bosses-Dad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought someone would say this, but it was basically a human anatomy class, not a lot of sexual stuff involved.
Einmanabanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher but: In an Icelandic class when I was 18 we had a girl who just couldn't get her head around the concept of a amniotic sac because "Then how does the baby breathe in the mother's stomach?!"
Also one time someone walked over to me, pointed at the 7 on a centimeter ruler they were holding and asked me if that was 7 cm.
Baseball157 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the teacher, but I'll fill in for him.
Freshman year honors Chem, my friend randomly asks, "Is the moon a liquid?"
This kid is very smart and undoubtably going to go to a good college. We were all very confused.
The teacher still laughs about it to this day. Our friend group roasts him about it constantly.
HiperEg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm too late for this thread, but here we go.
Not a teacher, but a student at the time. I was in a class full of 14 and 15 years old and we were having science class.
The teacher was accepting questions of the most varied subjects and answering quick, but seriously.
There were many questions about the human body, nature, but a remarkable one was a girl who asked: "If the moon is so close to the sun, why doesn't the sun melts it?"
There was a brief silence for a good 2 seconds and then the whole class laughed furiously. The teacher kept serious and made the class silent again. She answered the question, but you could see the disappointment in her face.
I still feel sorry for both the girl and teacher until today.
ImTheBengaliTiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My flatmate used to be a substitute teacher. One kid once asked him: "How much is 17?".
The kid was 11 years old
twampster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classmate rather than professor, but something that really stuck in my head.
We're in a fairly advanced Hispanic Studies class at a prestigious university. We've spent the past couple weeks talking about the drug trade, cartels, and how much of the economy in Latin America it comprises. We just watched "Maria llena de gracia" when one girl raises her hand and says "But (long pause) aren't narcotics illegal?"
olivesolives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have blue hair and a student asked me if it was my natural color. I of course told her yes.
rnflhastheworstmods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a girl in my class while looking at a map of the world once said:
"How come they always show this side of the map? What's on the other side of the world?"
Gumball110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my senior year of high school we were reading a book as a class. One part of the book said it was 6AM and another student asked if AM was morning or night.
Chronotaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the person a non-native speaker? AM/PM is an English speaking world thing.
Gumball110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were a native speaker.
drakeonaplane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, but like, if there was no gravity, could we breathe?"
Student was insistent that we breathe gravity....not air.
MeGrendel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, technically, without gravity there would be no atmosphere...
Chronotaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[S]he's right though, to a point. Gravity holds the air on the Earth. If there was no gravity then we could not breathe.
drakeonaplane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While true, the student insisted that we breathe gravity. They insisted we weren't breathing air, we were breathing gravity.
Matchboxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I grew up in West Virginia and one time my science teacher asked me a question, I forget the content of the question but there were two answers to choose from "a or b." It was the second one, so I said "the latter." The rednecks in the back of the room started cackling and said "this kid's so dumb, what do ladders have to do with science."
pietro324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but tutoring my 13 year old brother on cellular respiration where one of his review questions was "Which form of respiration produces more ATP and is more efficient?" I proceed to ask him how much ATP is produced at the end of aerobic respiration and he answers with 36-38. I then ask him how much ATP is produced at the end of anaerobic respiration and he answers 2. So I then ask him ok so... which one is better and produces more ATP? and he's like.... Anaerobic? and I'm like.. in what world is 2 greater than 38? facepalm
jonrosling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Things I was asked over the years...
"What colour is the Yellow Submarine?"
"How do you spell BBC?"
"Do girls only have their period on a full moon?"
"Why does this triangle have four sides?"
CrypticC62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow student in 9th grade biology class, totally out of the blue: "What are rocks?"
Doneyhew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student but once my professor said "There are 32 billion people in the world (wrong), and if one person has 32 billion dollars then there is no reason everybody shouldn't be able to have a million dollars a piece" I wanted to challenge what she just said but I was simply dumbfounded hat a pressor could say that
Machete_Coletti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I was taking a tour of Thomas Jeffersons house a few years back and this young teen asked where Thomas parked all of his cars. The whole tour went silent and the goofy ass dad just stood there not saying anything. The tour guide just laughed it off. I wasn't laughing. That's scary.
TheLibraryLady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was covering tutor time and the girls had all be taken out for an assembly. It was a last minute thing and no-one seemed to know why. The boys left behind in class suggested it was about breast cancer.
I suggested that would be unfair, seeing as men can get breast cancer and ought to be told what to look for to.
One of my students then asked me if women could get testicular cancer.
shutupjen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was an aide at an elementary school, I had a 3rd grade student ask me "When you go to college, what class do you have to take to get a husband?"
super_liam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is France a country?
doug-e-fresh711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. In an AP US history class, the teacher was having us list off the states on the first day, because reasons. It comes around to a female classmate, who proceeded to ask if Pittsburgh was a state.
Srboyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I once witnessed a classmate complain about an essay she had in another course that required her to write about a war/conflict between a developed and developing country. She didn't want to use the US ("too obvious") so she asked our professor if England was a first world country. Our BRITISH LITERATURE professor.
I've never seen such an utterly defeated look from a teacher, before or since.
ItsTraction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but some guy in my class once asked why the sun doesn't melt the moon during an eclipse... he was 15 at the time
KappaWutface4Head ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no stupid questions only stupid people.
Tmckeone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I have heard some pretty dumb questions. In my 9th grade history class there was a project where some of the class would get to Skype with students from Australia. After the teacher told us about the project, one of my classmates asked "what language do Australians speak" and the whole class died laughing at him.
Public_Fucking_Media ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: Alright class, who can tell me what 'scarcity' is?
Student: Isn't that like when you get scared straight?
supertizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A high school student overheard that a white American teacher at our school and his wife had Chinese babies. He asked, "Wait. Can two regular people have Chinese babies?"
I explained that they adopted the babies, and that Chinese people have Chinese babies.
I was confused by his use of regular people, he grew up in a diverse neighborhood surrounded by Latino, Polish, Albanian, Russian, and Black kids. I guess regular people are ethnic groups he has already met.
rxg111930 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 7th grade we had an assembly regarding skin cancer and UV radiation damage. The presenters had just finished talking about melanoma as a kid raised his hand and asked, "If you leave nevermelting ice (a hold item from Pokemon) out in the sun too long, can it get melanoma too?"
dangerdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching Computers 101 (adjunct at state college), explaining what's expected in midterm project, talking for 10 minutes about it. Three girls in the corner are talking to each other the entire time, until I finish the explanation and one asks, "There's a midterm?"
"No, this is all just hypothetical." I then had to walk that back because I'm sure the whole class would have taken me seriously.
The look on some of their faces when I told them I was a strong proponent for the "Stupid Answers for Stupid Questions" campaign was priceless.
eneah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a nursing home and we get students that come in and do their apprenticeship. I'm a psw. I take care of the elderly and even some young people.
They pair me up with a student. He and I go into a room and start to perform care on our residents. Suddenly.. he asks.. "how do I take this residents shirt off?"
It caught me by surprise. I get asked a lot of questions. Some would even say they're stupid questions. But if they don't know, is it really considered stupid? I told him to just take the residents shirt off as tho he was taking off his own.
Luktopius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but someone in my class asked: "What's the circumference of a triangle?"
Skrillec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you wear goblin mail?
Playoff_Dorsey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a class I was discussing that my favorite bird is a penguin. A classmate of mine sitting nearby said, with confidence "penguins aren't birds, I though it was a mammal". I felt like and asshole but my friend and I were hysterically laughing for a few minutes.
rageofheaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously he wasn't familiar with penguins, but unless you go to a prestigious zooology school, I wouldn't say that's near bordering on stupidest thing ever said
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:28 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zoooooologists prefer the term zoooooology, I believe.
boyfromthenorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach in a coastal city. You can literally see the ocean from our classroom. We were discussing sea level, and I was giving examples like the rockies where the base of the mountain is at 9k and the peak is at 14k vs a mountain in NH where the base is at 1k and the peak is at 5k and how that impacts the climate and conditions. One of my students raised their hand and asks, "how far above sea level are we? 5k? 10k?"
The whole class turns around and stares out the window at the ocean.....
boogieinmybutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"wait, what planet do we live on?" - Grade 10 highschool girl
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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boogieinmybutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
grade 10.... lol if you can't read my whole sentence then you are definitely in the wrong line of work
Pnooms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How come comets always land in craters?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I missed class yesterday. Did we do anything important?"
EVERY. DAMN. DAY.
kbrusc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yo Teach, how did Hitler die?" "He committed suicide." "On hisself?!?!"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:36:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
?
bartefaen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just started teaching in Norway, mainly 8 - 10th grade. In english class a student was shocked that we would still teach them english now that Trump was president. My search for logic in that statement made me question the very fabric of excistence.
karmacraze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were watching the Macy's day parade my coworker asked when would the Thanksgiving parades from the rest of the world would be broadcast.
gifpol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently participated in an orientation program at my local community college to get my GED. This orientation was just about the GED class and was mostly FAQ stuff, but at the end they had us do a little "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader" activity. They split us into groups and told us to put our heads together to figure out the answers, and try to get the most right as a group. This is what the questions looked like. When we got the sheet I just started filling it out and I figured everyone else would too, but I realized they were all watching what I was doing. They all ended up copying off my answers. There were four other people in my group between the ages of 18 and 60. Some of my favorite questions that none of these folks could fathom the answer to were "in which country could you find the pyramids?", "what state in the United States is spelled in four letters? (There are three)", "where would you go to see the Eiffel Tower?", and my favorite, "where is your funny bone located?".
Walleye72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mittens.
WebMDeeznutz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but In medical school, apparently a classmate asked what the route of administration was for marijuana.
newkyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but another student asked me how to spell "cuz". I told him it's not a word and he means "because" but he had no idea what I was talking about.
lets-start-a-riot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: ...and so WWII began. Any questions?
Idiot: and nobody thought that it was bad?
Teacher: ...
Guy in the back: serves you well for asking.
Keskekun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"what is all that empty space on the map" I get that most people learn that water is supposed to be blue but I would think that even in black and white a 15 year old should be able to understand the concept.
beefstewforyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Former substitute teacher,
I said my name and then was asked, "why dat be yo name?" I was dumbfounded and then said, "because it's on my birth certificate."
MrMistyMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time I had a picture of a typewriter on the board. A student asked, "why is that keyboard attached to that printer?" I was a High School teacher.
goldengardenia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't exactly a stupid question but more a stupid misunderstanding. I instructed my 4th graders to write a response to a passage we had just finished reading. Because this is a weakness of this class, I was really stressing that they needed to write in complete sentences. One boy raised his hand and asked, "What did you just say?"
I repeated myself and said, "I said you HAVE to write in complete sentences. You need at least three to four complete sentences."
Ten minutes later he hands in his paper. He had written the phrase "Incomplete sentences" four times. There was also no punctuation.
BristolBomber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science teacher here:
Lesson on global warming.. Student looking confused puts her hand up.. Is the greenhouse effect to do with all the greenhouses people have..
Ok, you may think.. i started to get an answer out.... before 2 words had passed my lips another kid shot his hand up and blurted out "does that included conservatories too?"
Not a question, but same kid different lesson on how certain non-native species have wiped out indigenous populations. I was talking about how some come from different countries accidentally stowed-away on boats.. I spot this student looking confused... puzzled look, head cocked to the side, the whole deal... it was easy to twig what she was thinking...
No Abi, the animals didn't build sail the ships themselves.... "oooohhhh riiiiiight" as a contented 'well thats that conundrum solved' look crosses her face....
Kids...
CyberSlasher26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a kid who once asked "Can anything live on the sun?". I wouldn't have minded if we were in like elementary or something. But no, this guy is going to high school in a couple of months.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My history teacher told us that a girl in summer school once asked him "what do asian people look like" ans she was sitting next to two chinese girls.
swaggiebard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting for a Kevin mention
tking32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 7th grade health class a girl asked the teacher what is a door? Everyone started laughing and she was confused as to why. After a few seconds she realized what she had just asked.
DatAperture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is the pope?" 9th grade.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:05 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
plot twist: parochial school
rangedogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i teach typing and Microsoft office tools and all that wonderful garbage and one of my juniors asked "is china a country or a continent"
Next_Yngwie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my younger brother, while otherwise a good student, is terrible at geography. One morning he asked me if Chicago was a state. We live in Ohio, two states from Illinois. He was 16 at the time.
Also as bonus, later that same morning I was taking an AP test and the sample question was:
Chicago is a _______.
A. City B. Village C. State D. County
Almost got kicked out cuz I couldn't stop laughing.
rhinorhinoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mildly related: one of my favorite teachers used to say, "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people that ask them."
galaxnordist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, after Germany invaded Poland, France helped Poland by invading ... Norway. So, go figure !
Cristaly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While outside: Are we having Indoor recess?
Thejapxican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about incest taboo in a sociology course and a student asks, after an hour of lecture, "What's the incest tattoo!? And he was genuinely serious. His good looks went out the window that day.
DanTheTerrible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I once had a (to be fair, introductory) class in electronics. The teacher passed around some wires to examine. One girl raised her hand and asked where was the hole in the middle of the wires the electricity passed through.
96385 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During sex ed class:
Girl 1: So a girl is like this (draws microscopic circle on paper).
Girl 2: So how does a guy (draws largest phallus that can conceivably fit on paper) fit in there (points to tiny spec)?
26raisans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(In a statistics 101 class) "What does stats stand for?" ...facepalm
thatJainaGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tutoring students in Japanese, one kid (who was very into 4chan culture) asks me if "desu" is a Japanese swear word.
"Desu" means "to be." It's the first verb you learn in Japanese 101.
Pooty_Taynk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 10-12 y.o. They'll pretty consistently ask questions such as... "Mr. Pooty_Taynk, what would you do if I..." And 99.99% it's something outrageous that they know is outrageous. So then I respond with a ridiculous response.
ChickenDerby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were reading a poem that mentioned a Ferris wheel. The student perceptively noticed that Ferris was capitalized. S: Why is Ferris capitalized? Me: it's capitalized because Ferris wheels are named after the person who invented them. S: oh... so Wheel was his last name? Me: no, Ferris was his last name; wheel is-- S: Wheel was his first name? Me: ...no.
Lordtardman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman college math teacher once said at the beginning of a semester that no answer is wrong, just incorrectly worked. So not exactly a question, but a stupid answer.
Teacher is talking about a single digit increase. She says "if I go from $6 an hour to $13 an hour, how much did I gain per hour?"
And I swear to god, the kid next to me without missing a beat loudly and confidently says "TWELVE"
Welcome to college.
rhinodad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I want to relate the dumbest question I ever heard in class.
To get to 4th year Spanish class you had to take Spanish years 1-3 (obviously), and those classes didn't just include learning the language, but also the countries that spoke Spanish and some details about them. That year, we had a foreign exchange student helping out in Spanish Level 4 (he was sort of acting as a teacher's assistant). We had a day where we just asked him questions about Spain.
This girl in the class raises her hand and asks, with all seriousness: "Spain... is that near China?"
Four years of Spanish. Required world history and geography classes. The room was dead silent... we were all in shock.
The exchange student just stares at her for a good 1-2 minutes. Flatly says "No."
The class just lost it. The teacher was trying to get everyone under control and this girl still had no idea why everyone was laughing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At what temperature does the number blue produce a smell?
Rbotguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
261.6 Hz.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct
Matthew_BpBuds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a joke right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do I look like I joke motherfucker?
Beckward1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in a friends class "Who turns the sun off at night?" This was asked by a 9th grader who was dead serious. Gives me chills
clickclick-boom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I occasionally teach English to people as a second language. One of my students didn't get that syntax is different in their language to English. As I was trying to explain they ask "doesn't this confuse [English] kids?". "In what way?", "that it's different from normal language". I had to explain native English speakers would have no frame of reference to get confused by. It's like she thought everyone was born understanding and speaking her language, then learn English.
math_nerd42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 things:
1) My philosophy is if a person is trying to learn, there is no stupid question.
2) This was a classmate in a high school biology class asking the teacher why sperm tasted so nasty.
For context: very backwoods school, the student was male, and the student realize what he incidentally informed the class until after the class and the teacher busted out laughing.
0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a girl ask me to define the difference between a lake and river. I said something like, "A lake is a large standing body of water, a river is flowing."
"...so, like, would a bathtub be a lake?"
mpchebe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12th grade student: "What is the earth?"
After an explanation, the followup was: "Is it round? Can I jump on it?"
cidscv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my friend had some really dumb questions in geography. For example isn't Canada part of the us, isnt Toronto the capital of Canada (lived here his whole life) also another friend asked who won ww2 in history
ZeDitto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dude in my senior year 9/11 class asked "So when people jumped off the world trade centers, did they like, ya know, try to take their shirts off and use it as a parachute?"
I mean, I'm sure that some did. But I'm sure that they knew it was a futile effort unlike this student.
galaxnordist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a 9/11 class ?
ZeDitto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The class was called "9/11 to now". It was supposed to focus on U.S. history from 2001 to the current day but it was mostly about the causes of Islamic Terror which stretch back to WWI.
biohazard13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a kid in my college English class ask a teacher how to count his words when he wasn't allowed to type the essay.
tetsu0sh0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. There was a girl in my health class that asked: "Can you get pregnant by swallowing semen?"
After the blank stare and "No" response from the teacher, the girl let out a heavy sigh of relief...
She got pretty popular after that.
Nervous2435 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school I learned that Horhey was Spanish for Jorge. So When We had an answer on a test that was "George Washington," I raised my hand and asked "would Horhey Washington be correct as well?" I did it twice. Tried to be funny. Was so stupid...
Schrodingers_dogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, you mean stupidest.... I hope this was intentional cause it makes your post that much better.
boxfervor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When the kids take over the canvas I brought to them forgetting that I was designing with them rather than for them ๐ค oh, well it's just art
hankharp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A middle schooler this year asked me how to spell dumb.
gatechnightman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If a right angle is facing left... is it a left angle? This kid was 100% serious. And he was 15.
markmikoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach at a math learning center and I once had a kid tell me that to find the area of a circle you have to do base times height. I asked him to show me the base of the circle and it took him awhile to realize there wasn't one.
Palerider_GB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a parent.
My then 5 year old daughter came into our bedroom at 6 o'clock after going to the bathroom, woke me up (not her mother), and asked "Will it wake you up if I flush the toilet?"
My answer? "Not now."
aaeko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I will never forget this question asked by a girl in biology class during sex-ed. "If sperm is made up mostly of sugars then why does it taste so salty?"
zutari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a student ask me what I did for a living..
dersucher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once I read the myth of Narcissus with the class and when I got to the end I asked: So what do you guys can take from this? A girl sitting in the front, turned to me: Oh, that they killed a lot of people, because this was what they did in germany, right? narz...ism? I'm talking about sophomore students here guys. No joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I have been asked "Does the sun block out the moon in the day-time" And "Where does sperm come from?" Both from a 16 year old
SeahawkerLBC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any question where I JUST TOLD YOU THE ANSWER.
Versaiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my 10 grade biology class this girl sitting next to me raised her hand and asked "if you leave corn on the cob outside long enough does it turn into popcorn?" I couldn't help but laugh.
shaderaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching my third graders geography and were were learning about hawaii. One kid asked if the whole island was surrounded by water.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupidest?
AcklayFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in Primary school told me there are no black birds here while if you watched out of the window there were black birds. I had a inner face-palm moment thinking about what she was saying and gave up trying to make her understand that there is indeed black birds.
cippo1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
she probably meant afro-american birds!
hannican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend asked our History teacher "Mrs. Holriegal, was Christ Jesus's last name?"
Trolling Circa 2001
Shellova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is crude oil?" Asked by a first year Business School student on an economics class.
Royed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex ed. class in the 6th grade:
"If you stick it in twice is that how you get twins?"
AloofVigilante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when i was in my sophomore year of high school in English class a girl asked me spell orange. After a giving her the swaggy p look, i proceeded to spell the word and she told me "not the fruit but the color".
hairyupperlip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher and wasn't asked this but this one is too good for me to not tell about. The anatomy classes at my school one day we watching a live feed of a knee replacement surgery. The live feed was being watched by another school full of middle schoolers. Throughout the surgery we were allowed to ask the surgeon questions about the procedure. At the end of the presentation, as the surgeon was suturing the knee, the schools were asked if they had any more questions. One of the middle schoolers asked the surgeon what body part he was operating on, at the end of an hour long live feed that was being commentated on by the medical professionals. Needless to say they laughed the question off and finished up. I can hardly imagine the embarrassment that kid must have suffered.
ChloeTheCat753 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher introduce himself to us by saying that there are things such as stupid questions and if anyone asked one he wouldn't answer it. That then prevented my from asking any questions at all, because I was afraid any question would be a stupid one.
Scripter17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the question is a request for information the asker does nor have, it's not stupid.
ChloeTheCat753 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I was a slow child and sometimes my questions were kind of stupid lol
NewStart793 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
When I was doing my Bachelor's degree, in the first semester we had a recap about resistors and inductors. The staff asked if current flowed slow in any one of them and why as well.
One of classmates had answered saying that, the inductor would have the current flowing slowly. His reasoning was that, the way an inductor is drawn in a circuit diagram, the current would have hard time travelling through all the loops as compared to the resistor which just had its ups and downs.
econjen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student during a college midterm ask if Michigan was in the United States. In college. An american student. I then learned that many native Californians have no sense of US geography east of California.
BizarreTsar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The Middle Ages really happened? I just thought that was in movies."
"Who is George Washington?"
Scripter17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first one I can sort of understand, I mean it does seem weird by today's views.
But the second one... What?!
AegrilSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about types of addiction, like alcoholism or marijuana and which consequences they have for the human body and the society. One of the aftermaths for some addictions is loss of concentration. So one student had the idea, to send those people to 'concentration camps', since they can be treated there... That's one of the moments, where you think by yourself: HOLD ON, hooold on, slowly. What. the. fuck?
Ah, btw. I'm a teacher in germany.
budderdong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
::Paging Kevin:: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met"
It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?
I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.
I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.
So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:
Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.
Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice
Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.
Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.
Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.
Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)
Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.
Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.
Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin
Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.
Scripter17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here I am.
rayatwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a fellow student in a respectable high school asked the teacher:
is the devil evil?
Another teacher called this student a "seismograph". If she understood, everyone else did too.
rmcquist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Also not a teacher) In college I showed to class on a really cold snowy morning. Most of my classmates were still warmly snuggled in bed, so our professor announced she was going to give us extra credit for showing up. She instructed to take out a sheet of paper, write extra credit in it and hand it in. One of the football players in my class had clearly sustained too much head trauma, and asked "do we have to put our name on it?" The class stifled a little laughter and the professor said, if you want me to know who you are so that you get credit, then yes.
Also in high school, not a question but a comment. We were watching channel one (school news channel) and they were covering the Oklahoma City bombing. They showed pictures of the suspects "John Doe 1" and "John Doe 2" and this girl exclaims, "what a coincidence - they have he same name!"
foghornlegbeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in high school a girl in my class asked our history teacher the difference between a road and a canal. In the middle of an exam.
I have her on Facebook because her posts are an endless source of amusement.
WeirdoMTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a university recruitment office.
Once got asked if we have a Bachelor's degree in landscaping.
no_t_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I studied biology (Soviet/post-Soviet country), so we would study all together until the end of Year 2 (4 semesters), and then in Year 3 everyone would go their own way (different departments).
I studied Ichthyology, and had people genuinely wondering if they can study this subject cause they liked dolphins and whales so much. In Year 3 of a Biology department.
grubuchmu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school history teacher once told us about a student in her class the previous year who asked "wait... who's Hitler?" and was absolutely serious.
HopelessClevelander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a stupid question as he was a 2nd grader, but funny nonetheless...
I once got asked while on recess duty if "leprechauns are on Mars." I replied, "No, they are not real, and therefore do not reside on Mars." The kid then turned to his friend and said, "SEE JACOB!"
learnbydoing31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
17 year old girl asked, "What do people up in a plane do during an earthquake?" My eyes widen the widest they may ever widen, then we all laughed it off, even the girl.
diamondoggo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a 5 second rule for soup?
Dejoern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"When we are dissecting the heart. Will it still be beating ?"
MetathranSoldier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is an Obama?"
She asked in music class because she thought it was an instrument.
This was in germany 8 years ago but still... things you should know...
UMich22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In AP US History a classmate said his brother was "stuck in Iraq". I really hope this was a joke but a girl asked how he got stuck inside a rock.
Lurks-to-Learn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After skipping most of the second term, and not handing in or being present for the majority of the assessments: comes with three days left in the school year.
"How can I pass English?"
...
Show up and do your work when you repeat this class next time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's the most stupid question a student has ever asked you?"
moontz91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in my junior year high school science biology class asked in class if stem cell research was hereditary
mr_whiskersthe3rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a pretty dumb question in American History class in high school. During the lesson about WWII the teacher was talking about the German war machine and I legit thought it was a badass huge tank that the Germans used to take over France and what not.
I asked if there were any pictures of it cause I couldn't believe I've never heard of such an awesome piece of hardware before.
I cringe when I think about it to this day.
immaterialist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently Kevin has been in a lot of classes.
thegermanspectacle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is China a corporation?"
lance_tipton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was actually a question I asked... I'm not a teacher, it's from when I was a freshman in high school. Teacher hands out some paperwork, and starts talking about something or another... I doze off into never never land. Come back to, and the teacher is still droning on. I look at the paper handed to me, and raise my hand. 'What does res-um-ee mean? Its got a weird lines above some letter.' Everyone busts up laughing. Turns out the teacher spent the last ten minutes explaining where the word rรฉsumรฉ comes from and why it's spelt that way.
liels_valis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does the P mean in Pa (Short for Pascal) asked by 17y/o student
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I did just have to explain to a coworker in her late 30s that it's not a "mute point".
Thanks, needed to get that off my chest.
mstaylorbowman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is adamant that its a "mute" point. He gets angry when I try to explain that that makes no sense.
Bakerbxtch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student in class when this question was asked. We were doing a more comprehensive sex Ed and a girl raised her hand and asked with a straight face if you can get pregnant from swallowing sperm. As a fellow female, I face palmed.
Light_Blu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in my citizenship class, a while back, asked if everyone could survive if there was just one tree in Australia
snowman2326 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most stupid will be asking something you just discussed in class like literally something I have just said. Pet peeve, jeez.
bebedahdi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do we have to do the book report if we didn't do the summer reading?"
wenger828 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was geology or something like that, a girl in my class asked "how do islands not float away?"
Phoenix_667 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not teacher yadda yadda.
It was an intro to genetics class in high school. Our teacher was explaining to us about genetic diseases and she commented on how pure breed dogs were more likely to have them, because they were usually breed with relatives to keep the pedigree.
A friend raises his hand and asks: "yeah, but what if the dogs run away?"
Talk about missing the point...
Mullattobutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a high school history teacher I have a litany of stupid questions, but my favorite
Student "Mr. Z. Is chicken pork or beef?"
Me "what are you talking about?"
Student "Chicken, is it beef or is it pork? It looks like a bird, so I'm not sure which it is"
RicottaPuffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you drink Pepsi before you have sex will it prevent pregnancy as well as a condom?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:59 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I met her girlfriend once, she was nice...
ZBLongladder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one I asked back when I was in high school: Our French class had just been learning about the French construct "ร la [nationality]" meaning "in the style of". So, say, "poule ร la franรงaise" would be "chicken in the French style".
Before I'd really thought about it, I'd blurted out, "Oh, like canard ร l'orange?"
The teacher just chuckled and said "not exactly".
4ndr01d413 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Asia in Africa?
sh0weroni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Aren't all polish people Jewish" - year 10 history class
LoooseSeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student. Shortly after 9/11, we were discussing terrorisms effects on economy in social studies class when one dimwit girl pipes up 'well, maybe 9/11 wasn't so bad. It would've created a lot of new jobs. I mean, all the people who died would need their positions filled right...?' and she just trailed off into the stunned silence of the classroom. Our teacher just said 'No, Katie....no.' ๐
MaiqTheFibber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school algebra, my teacher drew his square root symbols without the horizontal line before the check so I asked him if it meant something different from the normal square root symbol. First it took me like 5 minutes to explain what I was talking about in a way he could understand. Then he just gave the biggest "you're a dumbass face" and said no. I looked around the class and was getting that look from everyone. Sad thing was I was completely serious, I wasn't trying to waste time or anything.
MattFromOpiO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school, we were having a discussion about dijon mustard in my French class. Another student actually asked the teacher if dijon mustard grew in bottles. IN THE FREAKING BOTTLES.
midnightgold74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not what you're looking for...
I'm a graduate student who volunteers to teach climate change and renewable energy to third grade classrooms, usually with three or four other grad students. At the end of our lesson, the students can ask questions about our research or anything about college. After the usual questions about dorm life and "do you play with lasers??," there was one girl who asked a perplexing question:
"Do you know Dylan?!"
And all of us were so confused. Who was Dylan?
Turns out Dylan is a volunteer scientist at a local science museum, and kids sometimes think all scientists know each other.
allayns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a question that was used to answer a question... Me: What is a habitat? Student: So if you have a brother maybe your brother has a house, so why don't you just get a job? Me: ......
Xulbehemoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher and this isn't a question, but I've learned that students AND teachers in high school do not know the difference between restarting a computer and logging out of their profile.
accastro209 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Never thought too much until you mentioned, I too have had these dreams. Anxiety to the max and I scrambling in my dream to resolve the issue. Probably has to do the fact that my attendance want the best.
/rexplainitlikeimfive
Knitty_Professor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not exceptionally funny but exceptionally frustrating:
"Did I fail the test because I did something wrong?"
I was speechless.
goldmage263 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she was trying to ask if you thought she was cheating? No, still really poorly worded.
TooStupid1219 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but had a classmate in grade 10 who was absolutely convinced that Vermont was not in fact a state. She would not back down from it until we physically showed her a map. She was our class valedictorian....
cippo1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One girl in my highschoo, after she read something from Dan Brown, asked if it was possible to have a handbag with antimatter. Horrible part, the professor took the question seriously -_-
hydro0033 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ex girlfriend with a biology degree and 3.8 GPA from a decent school, who was in pharmacy school at the time, asked me "Are fish mammals?" We broke up not long afterwards
onzie9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was heading a Mercury-viewing session for an astronomy class. Before looking through the telescope, a student asked me if she would be able to see the rings around Mercury.
bausl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm german and we covered the ways of Nazi Propaganda in history class for quite some time. The "Volksempfรคnger" - in typically connoted Nazi language means Reciever of the People - was a small affordable radio that was used to broadcast propaganda over the airwaves. Very modern for 20th century standards.
We were 3 lessions in at that point. Because the word "Empfรคnger" can also mean recipient in German, a friend of mine who was obviously not paying attention at all asked how this dude managed to spread all this propaganda all by himself.
I don't know how hilarious that is in English, but by the standards of German humor that is fucking hilarious.
1burton1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took a 'University chorus' 1 hour class at Ohio State in 1970....never ever went to a class....got a 'B'
SirensofTTown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a high school senior on a laptop computer doing some research about languages ask me if Spain was in Europe.
SirLegolas13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in highschool, in the middle of a chemistry test, a classmate waved his hand in a horizontal motion and asked the teacher "was this vertical or horizontal?".
Edit: I was never able to figure out why he would even need that for the test...
Gohorne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude next to me in high school once asked "Sir, what's a cup board?"
AmandaJoye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What are we supposed to do?" 3 seconds after I explain directions.
Christoph3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blond girl was pregnant - she asked "is it mine?"
Mritchie15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one day in my tenth grade Buology class my teacher was explaining that his daughter was allergic to normal chicken eggs like one would get from a grocery store. Therefore she has to eat duck eggs. Kid in my class raises his hand and as serious as he could possibly ask says,"What's the difference between a duck egg and a chicken egg?"
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:49 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my number one question after reading this. What is special about a chicken egg that causes his daughter to react to them that a duck egg lacks?
willi_con_carne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student, but our biology teacher said that a student asked him "can you become pregnant whilst having sex standing up?"
thismakesmeanonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid in my 5th grade class asked my teacher "Why do people think that heat comes from the sun? Maybe it comes from the ground"
Barnhard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a high school teacher. I have too many to even remember, but here's one:
An 11th grade girl asked me, out of the blue during class one day, why kids don't revolt against parents. She was upset that I was giving homework and that her parents would make her do it. She was also completely serious. Her reasoning was that there are more kids than parents, so why don't all kids just get together and rise against parents and take over?
I was incredulous, but because the question was so bizarre I started to answer it anyway, as off-topic and delusional as it was. I tried to explain to her that it wouldn't make any sense, as the parents provide for the children. If the kids revolted, then they'd have no money, nowhere to live, etc. But she just didn't follow my logic. She couldn't understand why the kids wouldn't just revolt since they have more numbers.
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:28 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dad, can you drop me off at Emma's tonight? I have a revolt to go to.
Gipatti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After 6 weeks of teaching WWII to a group of year 9s (13/14 year olds) one asks me "Is WWII still going on?"
The same student later on thought the Battle Of Britain was fought in Japan and that Australia was hot because it was in the centre of the earth.
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:01 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Australia was hot because it was in the center of... WHAT THE SHIT?
papereel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This exchange happened in my college psych class. Student: "But is there any evidence to support Darwin's theory of evolution? Like have any studies been done?" Professor: "Saying the theory of evolution is like saying the theory of gravity. Sure, I COULD drop my clicker and have it go flying off, but it's not very likely." Student: "But where's the scientific community on this? Like 50/50?" Professor: "Like 99.95."
Echono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but had one tell me about this one student...
He's giving a test for his basic Anthropology class in community college when the student walks up to him holding the test.
Student: (Points at the word Africa in his test) That's... This one, right?
(Student waves his hand in front of him in a lower right area, vaguely where Africa would be on a map.)
Teacher: ...Uh-huh.
Student: (Points to Asia) And that's this one, right? (Waves hand vaguely where Asia would be)
Teacher: ...Yes?
Student: (Points to South America) But isn't that this one? (Waves hand toward Africa)
Teacher: Um, no, that's over here. (Waves toward South America)
(Student frowns and walks back to his seat.)
Student: I didn't know this was a fuckin geology class...
oatmealraisintheroof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher but at the end of our 8th grade English class our teacher asked us to come up to the front of the classroom and tell everyone one thing that they had learned that semester. Once very wealthy and kinf but notoriously ditzy girl came up and said 'I learned that turkey the animal and turkey you buy at the store were the same thing.' She seriously didn't understand that turkey = turkey. When questioned about it she just got meek and embaressed, understandably.
ProfessorSillyPutty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was asked once by a coworker working on some reports on the computer, "How do I get the comma up?"
I had no idea what he was talking about and it took a few minutes of me trying to decipher what the heck he was talking about. His only answer was, "You know to get the comma down you push this button but how do you put it up?"
It was then I realized he was referring to the apostrophe, so I asked if thats what he meant. "Well...ya....I guess you could also call it that..."
No George, you can't also call it that. That is all it is, not putting the comma up. So I showed him the key that does an apostrophe.
ArizonaKatie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is the 4th of July always on Sunday?" -_-
pwilgus5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a kid in my class asked if Dick Cheney was the governor of China
New_Y0rker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I remember when I was in 7th grade my teacher was talking about a sporting event in a stadium that held thousands of spectators. The girl sitting next to me said "how is that possible if there arent that many people on the Earth to begin with?"
thenewglove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had just learned about sperm and the reproductive systems in sex ed. A kid asked me after class if sperm actually had to be swallowed to produce a child. I had to literally reteach the entire days lesson to him that we JUST heard.
boneghosts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why would anyone want to see bare-breasted women?"-7th grader (when I taught a lesson on why sexting is bad)
SammysGotAGun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my high school biology class once asked if cats had backbones or not...
MostlyDisappointing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had one of those water dispensers with the big blue 15 liter disposable water reservoirs at the front of the classroom. On the cabinet next to it were 2 or so replacement water tanks. Students were allowed to use it whenever we weren't working on something specific.
One girl put her hand up, waited a couple of minutes for me to finish helping another student, asked, completely seriously, how the water got in the tank.
Dumbfounded, and suppressing the urge to laugh, I asked her how she thought it got in the tank. Until eventually she came up with condensation from the air.
This was a seminar workshop, second year physics. The girl was at least 19, probably 20
frperg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physics class, explaining how the plastic and aluminium layers of a CD causes to see a rainbow. A student then asks, "but why do they do that?" - "What?" - "Why do they make CD's to do that?"
Dangerous_Nudel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a girl in my 8th grade Ethics class asked while discussing this comic why an elephant couldn't climb a tree. After the class trying to tell her why, she was still convinced that some elephants could climb up trees.
AV-17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mister, what's The Odyssey?"
We had just spent seven weeks going over The Odyssey.
cubonelvl69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time in middle school gym class we were playing baseball, but using a tennis ball and tennis racket to make it safer and easier. A girl next to me turns and says, "wait.. This isn't what a normal baseball bat looks like, right?"
LibraryGoddess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you need a college degree to be a high school librarian?"
spikeiscool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I was in my year four class and this happened:
Teacher: 'So which direction did the wise men come from?'
Student: 'Uhhhhh... Jingle bells?'
Jbouwers96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my grade nine science class asked if moose ate wolves during a case study about the correlation between their numbers in the wild.
theoriginalmypooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
There was a guy in my history class in junior year in highschool who always listened to music durring class. One day the teacher asked him to point to Africa on the pull down map. He walked up cussing under his breath, he took his time and looked at the map.
He pointed to South America. The continents were also labled. And he was black.
0000010000000101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Visiting Yellow Stone, guide showing a valley where the entire moutainside collapsed and filled the old valley floor with 4-500 ft of rock I guess 30 or so years ago. You could still see the loose rocks 10ft in diameter and the scar on the mountain. Guide explains that the mountain collapsed so quickly that hurricane force winds were driven through the valley campground. 9th grade highschoolers. One pipes up "Is anyone still alive under there?"
Runner up, "When was The War of 1812? Oh."
TryAgainForever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do you talk about water so much?" Third day of my marine systems class (high school). Pretty sure she didn't know what it was she had signed up for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the site OkCupid one of the questions they ask is "which is bigger - the sun or the moon?"
I was saying how silly that question was to some of my co-workers and 3 out of 5 of them asked "which is bigger?"
Fzzywzzyb34r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife had a college student turn in a map quiz of Europe. Had to fill in county names in the outline of each country. They had turned the paper upside down and filled it out. The names they selected were in the correct area of the map had it been right side up, but it was all sorts of messed up.
hotstickywaffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was a senior in high school I had a class mate who was particularly stupid.
This guy thought that Pearl Harbor was in the Hudson River (this school was located in NJ, literally minutes from the tunnels into NYC).
He thought that Buffalo was the name of the State that New York City was in.
Then one day our history teacher was talking about Robert Kennedy after we were supposed to have read a chapter about him. My teacher was talking about how much he liked him and how he campaigned for him. And this kid then asks "If he was so awesome why didn't he get elected?". The teacher lost it, and started railing about how lazy our class was and how no one did any work in the class (he was totally right, that class didn't do shit). Class then ended and the moron says "he never answered my question!". You'd think, if you weren't going to read the chapter, you wouldn't ask questions about it.
LowsideSlide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday a student asked me if the postlab discussion was due the day they perform that lab.
Nicod27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to tell the kids "there is no such thing as a stupid question. There are, however, some questions that are better than others, so you should try to ask those instead."
woleykram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was in a class in high school when someone I knew asked, seriously, if a T-Shirt was a liquid because it conformed to the container it was held in.
theAmberTrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but I once had to inform a biology major in one of my classes that lettuce was not a fruit.
Immatrikulat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some guy in my history class asked if the "Schutzstaffel" and the "Sturmabteilung" still exist.
M3llowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really stupid but kind of funny. I was showing some eighth graders how a typewriter works and one student asked: but where is the screen?
CatsAreDivine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a driving instructor. In class one night I had one of the curriculum videos on, and this girl raises her hand. So I pause the video and she asks "How do the deer know to cross at the sign?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: A lot of Kevins.
Ukuled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not me but my mum, She was asked "Is there intelligent life on earth?", the kid was 17 and dead serious,(not being philosophical, this kid had lasted 17 years not knowing which planet he was on)
knightsvalor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not stupid so much as outrageous, but when I was teaching a psychology course and we were talking about psychopathy: "Couldn't we just round them all up, put them on an island and have them kill each other?"
LeSireMeows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In elementary school my classmate asked: "What's closer, the Moon or Adonis?"
Adonis is a grocery store.
vkoslin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school student: I thought all babies came from C-sections. Where else do they come from?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to spell IQ
beerandbears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this was more of a misguided question and I think I understood his intent but the misinformation behind it was still a little scary to me:
8th grader, while discussing the 2016 election results: "But wasn't Bill Clinton kind of like the first black president?"
Oh my sweet summer child. Time to talk about broken windows policing and incarceration rates buddy.
kgb170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I remember in 8th grade a classmate asked the teacher in 100% seriousness, "Is the moon a star?" followed closely by, "When you're on the moon, can you touch the stars?"
Needless to say... pretty stupid questions
papereel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just remembered this exchange from high school. Student: "Did Germany win WWII?" Teacher: "Do you speak German??" This is the same teacher who split the class into two groups to debate if the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were justified. At the end turned to the "Yes" side and told them, "Well I hope all you genocidal Republicans on that side of the room learned something today."
gabsterwebster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a girl in my history class ask if Jesus was in the holocaust since he was a Jew.
Also, another girl in the same history class thought the "Heads of Congress" was "that big mountain with all the dudes faces carved in it."
That teacher was slippin'.
savagepika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was observing a geography class. A girl asked the teacher why it was windy when she went on holiday even though there were no trees around. She then spent 5 minutes arguing with the teacher about how it shouldn't be windy in places without trees because the trees make the wind.
She genuinely thought when leaves moved in the wind that it was because the tree was actually producing the wind.
She was 13 at the time.
weedyscoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but as a sixth-grader I overheard one classmate quietly call another a "dildo." My hand shot up real quick, and I was told by my attractive female teacher that I should ask my parents.
DigitalDiogenesAus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sir? How do I get my hand out of this computer? It's stuck!
MercilessKrill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an elementary school ESL teacher. I once had a very bright 5th grader that I was tutoring ask me, "How do lions cook the zebras after they kill them?" He was completely serious...
Wadsworth_McStumpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is a teacher. She told me about this one.
Grade 6 kid (about 11 years old): "What color is a soul?"
To be fair, she had just asked if there were any questions, but they were learning grammar at the time. Not exactly a stupid question, but kind of strange.
lajackson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
100s of times weekly I ask a close ended, "is there anything on the screen of your meter currently?"
The response is always the same "you want be to press this button," or "if I perform this action (x) then this happens (y)."
I seldom get the reponse I'm needing of yes/no.
KidVsHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but when I was in the 8th grade (2001) we experienced the Nisqually earthquake in Washington state. I was in a science classroom listening to my instructor give a lecture when suddenly the quake began. Needless to say, everything was shaking violently; we had those TV's up on some sort of spring-loaded mount in the corner of the room bouncing like crazy, cabinets full of beakers and test tubes collapsing to the floor, it was just like in the movies. Everybody ducked and covered like we had been told countless times growing up. I was underneath the workstation where I was generally seated near my lab partner Katie who seemed particularly distressed when out of the back of the classroom we heard a girl cry out "Is this a drill?" and the whole classroom erupted with laughter amidst the chaos. So this story isn't really a direct response to the AskReddit topic but it was a student asking a really silly question.
Myrtje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my sister (8-9 years old at the time), once asked when people began to see in color after watching an old black and white movie.
TheManlyBanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory: "not a teacher, but..."
Some friends told me about a maths test they had a while ago. This girl joined their class not long ago, and it was obvious that she wasn't the sharpest knife in the block.
Now the teacher does a brief run through all of the questions, and the kids start. 20 minutes into the test, she asks "Can we start now?"
hitn2u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If data is stored in a storage, what's a database for ?
lovest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in High School a few kids from the local children's hospital came up to give an awareness talk about cancer. Long story short, at the end the teacher made some space for questions and one girl asked the teacher if we can get cancer by touching the kids that had come over from the hospital.
sh_asty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching the Haitian Revolution I had a student ask "well did the slaves at least get paid?".....
biteblock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a dental student. I had a classmate of mine once ask if the lungs were anatomically inside the ribcage. We were first years at the time. Evidently that's not a question on the DAT....
Makes me mad because she actually kicks my ass on most tests, just can't rationalize normal thoughts.
io_la ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the middel of teaching square roots when one of my lesser gifted students raised her hand. Delighted that she showed any interest on the subject I called her up and she asked me:
"Do you use an styling iron?"
No, no I don't.
KillyourHeroes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do we have to do this in French? "
Well, it is French class...
Nomadic_Craft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but once a classmate in our senior year was astounded by learning the true size of stars, he said "I knew they were big, but I imagined them the size of a classroom or a truck", I could see the look of sheer dissapointment for our generation in the teacher's face.
TheKingOfKolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"There is no stupid question, only stupid answer"
I mean, kids would ask many different stupid questions but just as an example, I had one of the kids asking me if my feet were invisible because I was "dancing too fast" ( I teach folk dancing as a hobby )
romebe82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Not a teacher) When I was in 5th grade, all the students in class had to talk briefly about where they're from, and one asian girl was talking about China when she was interrupted by a student who asked if there were dragons and dinosaurs roaming around in China.
ZMoney187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught an undergrad 100 level class called "Blue Planet" and one of the students asked if it was about Neptune.
CptCorduroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work with kindergarteners, and one of the first days of the new school year, I'm sitting down with a kid who is having difficulty spelling his name. He was very distracted, and eventually blurted out, "do you know Jesus?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th grade world history class, just got done studying Greece, the day we move on to India. "So like, Buddha is from Greece, right?"
JJamesP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Junior year of high school my history class touched on the Irish potato famine which prompted one of the brighter students in class to ask, "who took all of their potatoes?"
SmallishBubs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in fourth grade, we were talking about gravity and after a few minutes of discussion one girl asked why people in China didn't get headaches, like when you hang upside down for too long.
createsure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have many many stories... but one of my favorites is this: One day I was talking about how there are a lot of cows in the US because we eat them (and that their farts are a source of methane in the atmosphere). After class a boy walked up and said, "We eat cows Mr. B?" These are 14 year old Latino kids, he probably eats cow every night, and just never stopped to wonder where "meat" comes from.
Plutonoumtaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in a history class right now. Juniors and seniors in high school (16-18 y/o) and this girl just asked when Abe Lincoln fought Hitler. I'm not sure what to think about this. The sadder thing is that she was 100% serious.
shydiva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Music teacher. "What is that hashtag next to that F for?"
kctroway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but someone once asked my science teacher what would happen to your body if you were floating naked in space and did heroin.
tootmyfloot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A freshman girl in high school asked, "is my first name always capitalized?"
duowing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the teacher, but I feel like it had to be one of the dumbest asked. In high school government class we were all working on in-class work. It was real quiet then out of the silence this girl says "Richard Nixon?". The teacher then kind of hesitantly asks "What.... about him?" Girl: "Richard Nixon, was that his real name?" Teacher: ".... Yes, that was his real name"
No idea where it came from, there was nothing we were working on remotely related to Nixon.
groovehound22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you remember when we had those snowstorms last year and the school lost power for a few days?" - "Yes." - "Well, will that happen again this year?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a moron in a science class I was in once asked if we would still have to go to the bathroom if the world started spinning backwards. The teacher told him bluntly that going to the bathroom had nothing to do with the way that the planet spins and that he was more worried about all the other changes that would cause. This was in middle school.
lind_p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl in my biology class which instead of saying organism, kept saying orgasm. She couldn't tell the difference. Same girl asked what the capitol in Africa was...
Fredo88888888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im no teacher, yet, but once in my history class a girl rased her hand a asked: "Teacher, how do you say England in English?" For clarification I'm from Puerto Rico
Same girl in math class on another occasion asked if the 0 was positive or negative.
HImagor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in sophomore english the teacher was talking about William Golding and a quotation of his that was something like "Men produce evil like bees produce honey" and a girl said wait bees make honey.
j_la ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this is what you're looking for, but one of my (college) students asked if I was going to scan and upload the entire textbook for the class. No...I will not break copyright law so you can get out of paying $20 (I purposefully use a cheap handbook). If you want to pirate it, that's your choice, but don't ask me to commit a crime.
alex_kris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the Student. I asked my teacher how to spell 'I'. I thought you spelt it Ae
BaddDadd2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye.
FishInferno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My history teacher told us this story. Once, his class was talking about the advancements in film and entertainment and whatnot in the early 20th century, with color movies and stuff coming out. One student piped up and asked "When did people start seeing in color?"
JacobLyon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but as a student i heard another ask, "Why don't women get prostate cancer?"
AeroKMSF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm my high school history class I had a fellow student (in not a teacher) ask what the world trade center was while we were covering 9/11
PoopTaquito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl I went to college with didn't know Antarctica was a continent. She made a big fuss in class that it was, in fact, a state. She is currently teaching 2nd grade.
rsoccer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you spell MP3"
JustARedditUser0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
facepalm
MisterEmojiMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: Do I have to pass this test? A: This is a test. This is a completion test. YES.
FML: This was an ADULT student, with an BA & MBA.
ileridley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but my Dad teaches at a University. He teaches rocket science 101 and during a test a student asked about a question that said "What was the first mammal in space?" The student asked "Is a dog a mammal?"
adriftingleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching college algebra at a state university. A girl who was failing finally came in to my office hours and asked me what that symbol I kept drawing meant. It was the less than sign. This: <. She had no idea what it was.
KingoftheGinge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I had a guy in my chemistry class who used to ask the most bizarre questions. Here's one I recall with fondness: Teacher talking about atoms and their make up. "Miss. How many electrons would be in earth then?" Teacher slightly taken aback says: "Oh, I don't know, umpteen." With the perfect length of pause and the most vacant look in his eyes he said: "How many's that?"
Still a very intelligent guy, but really struggled with some things.
RebeccaLaLa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but the student. Granted it was first grade, but I was working on a word search and I went up to the teacher and asked what a "map" was. She looked at me like I was insane. I genuinely had a total brain fart and the word "map" meant absolutely nothing to me at that moment. It's not even that I hadn't learned it yet - it just didn't click in my head for some reason.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach martial arts. Had a teenage girl ask me in class if she would turn black like boxers do.
oureyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also not a teacher;
Heard a student in World History class in high school ask the teacher "how much money is there in the world?"
The teacher just stared back at her and said "I'm sorry [redacted], I haven't gotten around to counting it yet".
Love that teacher.
panthereu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but we had a huge world map on the wall that showed all of the continents, prompting someone to ask what was on the other side of the earth.
broken_neck_broken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in school I was friends with a pair of identical twins. One day this other kid asked them how they tell themselves apart.
LadyKnightmare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which Prime Minister was the hottest?
Which led to us looking up pictures of each Prime Minister of Canada and ranking them...
So far the kids say the current PM, Trudeau is the hottest, his dad didn't rank so well.
knutella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in 5th grade, the PE teacher gave all the boys "The Talk". When he opened the room to questions, one kid raised his hand and asked "how old you gotta be to use curse words?"
Qlinkenstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got to the classroom later than normal one morning to find a college freshman sitting in the dark.
"What're you doing?" I asked.
"I wasn't sure but, am I allowed to turn on the lights?"
ThinkPan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
L
secludedprism45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm a student but a guy in my maths class asked a substitute teacher what his favourite type of cheese grater was, and the teacher gave him a serious reply its was "2.5 mil hole"
Yespinky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you professor Staff??"
guineapalooza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student teacher with a focus in early childhood ed, but this actually happened when I was in 6th grade. We were watching a play the 7th grade classes put together and afterwords they asked if anyone had any questions. I can't remember what the play was about, but it involved a family; a mom, a dad, and a baby. A boy in my class was the only one to raise his had with a question. He asked if the baby in the play was real. The cast had to try their best not to laugh at him, but that didn't stop the rest if the audience from laughing.
linkenski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes students will admit beforehand that they have a stupid question. My biology teacher would then deflect their question and say "there are no stupid questions... Only stupid people"
yzyblur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl once asked if Spain was in South America.
Aknm102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a 8th grade student, a girl asked to the biology teacher if dolphins were baby whales.
Lurvinator11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much a question but stupid nonetheless.
Background: Students are working on a conversion work sheet. At the bottom of the page there are two questions which look like this:
a. 6 feet is how many yards b. 2 feet 3 inches is how many inches
One of my smart underachiever students who we will call uppity because he is always up (teachers you know who I'm talking about) is always off task and getting around his work. So I'm walking around seeing everyone has finished these two VERY SIMPLE QUESTIONS and I look at Uppity and his paper isn't even facing him. He's up taking to his friend, so I say UPPITY, where is your answer? He says "Mr. Lurvinator11! I'm doneeeee look!" And he proceeds to sit down, and circle a. He fucking circled A. A. that says convert feet to yards. A.
I proceed to loudly call him out by repeating to him what he just did. He realized what he did, the class realized it. In all honesty it was a good laugh. He was a good sport about it though. but FUCK!
a-y-y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in 7th grade history class we were watching a video about Ancient Greece. Parts of the video were animated, while most was reenacted by guys with clothes and armor of the time. After the video, a girl raises her hand and asks if it was filmed during that time period.
The same girl also asked why they didn't surround castles with lava while we were learning about the medieval time period. When the teacher told her that it's near impossible to collect and transport the lava, she said they should use a bucket.
Arreeyem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school we had a student argue with the teacher that Germany was in the middle east. Because Europe was in the east and Germany was in the middle of the map (It was a map of Europe)
This same student asked if they had CDs during the French revolution. She wasn't very good with logic.
dpalmade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an anonymous sex ed question box for high school sophmores: Is anal a good alternative for traditional sex?
dpalmade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that note is also currently the background on my ipad.
dykestar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I know how boats don't sink, because there is more water than boat, but how do aeroplanes stay in the sky? There's nothing holding them up" exact quote.
PromptyPromptPrompt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"But, how did we find out the names of the other galaxies?" (if we've never been there)
jesstgamin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In one of my college classes a student asked if we should use a number 2 pencil for our scantron test... how have you made it this far?
Jayhawk312 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman year of high school a kid in my physics class asked if there were any months with 32 days We all told him no but he decided to argue for the remainder of the class against all of us, including our huge, frightening physics teacher about how February has 32 days on leap years
boghall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As my (witty) science teacher used to say: there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions.
RoosterBadger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am an after school teacher for first graders and kindergarteners. One day, one of my students saw me doing a report on WWII for my history class. He then asked, "What's that?" I told him it was World War II, a war that happened in the 1900's (you have to dumb down every explanation to these kids). He then asked, "Oh that's cool, is that a movie or something?"
Lavalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in honour's history we were reading about Nazi Germany until a guy blurted out "Wait, Hitler has a moustache?". He was 15 years old yet he hadn't seen a single picture of Hitler till that class
rhetticus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Former guitar teacher, once had a parent ask if guitar hero counted as practice on the real instrument.
jfaulkner9292 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th grade science: "Is the Earth bigger than the moom?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a close friend once asked me, " Is the Sun bigger than The Netherlands?". Suffice it to say, laughter ensued.
ceciltech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ProTip for teachers:
You want to encourage questions! Put on the board in big letters:
There are NO stupid question
This will encourages students to ask question.
Also if a student does ask a stupid question, you can just quietly turn around and erase it (or just the "NO") from the board before answering.
Beemer32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my tenth grade biology class I was talking to my buddy about narwhals and my teacher said they they were a mythical creature like unicorns and dragons. She had a masters degree in biology from a well known school. We were baffled and began to argue with her for a good 20 minutes before she sent us to the principles office. We explained why we were there and then the principle called her down to the office and told her she was wrong, right in front of us. 'Twas glorious. Kind of from the other side of it, but still thought I would share.
lussmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just today i had a classmate ask "which planet is Terra?"
20 y/o in a university engineering class.
gizmotron64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait... there was a First World War?!"
TexasFordTough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but first day of class last semester my Government professor had just finished going over the syllabus and had clearly stated multiple times that we would only have three grades that would be earned from our two tests and final exam. I mean he said it so many times and made it so clear. Asked the class if there were any questions. Poor guy behind me raises his hand and asks if there were any assignments that would count towards our final grade. Professor asks if he's joking as some of us smirk from what we thought was a smart-ass comment. Guy says no with a confused look on his face.
Professor looked like he was ready to quit right then and there.
smaug777000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College class on biophysics. The professor stated that a particular hip was 12 inches and in order to calculate the force, we needed half of that number. Student asks, "So, half of 12 is 6, right?" to which the professor responded, "Yes, half of 12 is 6."
russell16688 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Straight after lunch I got asked: "when is it dinner time? Is it next?"
Simple reply of asking them if they remember eating within the last hour.
yukdumboobum1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: "there's an expiration date on my bottle of water. What if the water in my sink expires?"
0s3ll4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask (with reference to space) where 'down' was?
freeforming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Down I see the enemy gate
AnesthesiaSteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but was in an economics class and a young lady says " I don't get it, how do casinos make money?" everyone laughed.
shakingthings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student way back in 9th grade asked this of our foreign language teacher: Do Spanish people think in Spanish? Yeah he caught some heat for that one.
Plekhanov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was once asked by an 11-year old: "Did they have trees in Anglo-Saxon times?"
Another of my favourites is when an 11-year old girl on residential asked the half-Australian activity leader which half of them was Australian. The instructor held out their left hand and said "This half!" for a joke. The child thought for a few seconds before nodding and agreeing earnestly that this half looked more Australian! :D
SunnySideUp_MD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Does spelling count?"...it was a spelling test.
uncut_onyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my was in a fairly serious car crash, and as she was explaining this to a class a kid asked "did you survive?"
TomasHunter1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Alaska is off the coast of California?!" While looking at a map of the United States.
RonaId_Trump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dumbest*
Genna_Thalia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher now, but when i was an aid, an 8th grade student asked if dogs were humans. Blew my mind, it took everything in me to not get fired that day.
dcruse22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I had a classmate in a very difficult AP class ask "Is Europe part of America" and my friend and I had to explain to her how the continents worked, the discussion ended when I pulled up a map to show her and she still didn't understand.
The-Weapon-X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reverse situation:
In tech school for network engineering degree, first semester English (prereq) class. My teacher checks my work, which is literally using specific words in a sentence. One sentence I wrote was "I won't waste my time with" something or other.
Allegedly this teacher had a Masters degree in English. She proceeded to tell me that I should be using the word 'waist' in that sentence. I told her that would be in the context of something around my waist, like a belt. Waste is refuse, trash, etc. She continued to argue with me about the correct use of the word until I just looked at her in disbelief, then realized her mistake, saying "Oh, you right, you right." Yes, improper use of grammar as well, I assume owing to ethnicity or upbringing.
Yeah, that really happened. Incidentally, she was fired at the end of the semester.
MatthewIsTheWord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student in 9th grade. Some girl asked the class if rocks had DNA, and she was dead serious.
iamlili ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach Chinese to second graders in America. A student asked me how to say Dorito in Chinese. Not the stupidest question but definitely the funniest.
MrBragg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I use the bathroom."
fasko6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is North Carolina in South Africa or Europe?"
-a sophomore in my world studies class
Hoarseman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why did they fight all those battles in National Parks?" - Referring to the American Civil War
cest_la_vino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me what shape a triangle is.
foodnetworkadvocate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but on the first day of my university introductory geology class last semester a kid a few seats down from me raised his hand and asked the professor if we would be learning about moon rocks.
We didn't learn about moon rocks. :(
Vivirmos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher and wasn't the one being asked, but i heard a girl i was in school with drop this gem "Is Georgia in Alabama? Is it at least in the United States?"
gilbeythebeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do teachers get paid so much?
jrell4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"what do capital numbers look like?"
randy_in_accounting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a kid do a presentation on 'of mice and men'...
Look up at the PowerPoint and the title is 'my cement'.
kione83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are we going to hear about Kevin in this thread?
aspicycucumber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teache,r but in my Junior year of high school in History class we played Jeopardy and question that came up asked "who was the leader of nazi?" The kid that went up said Italy.
kazzak05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in one of my history classes (in college) a student asked, dead serious, what planet the pyramids were found on.
liquorkick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No stupid questions" but I thought nothing was impossible...
basskiller32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my English teacher was asked by a student if his girlfriend swallowed would she get pregnant, and the teacher knew he was dumb so he told him yes only to end up with a crying senior in front of him.
las377 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really late but...while talking about matter classification in chemistry class, a student asked me why we don't classify pizza as an element. Unfortunately, she was serious.
LurkerKurt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I witnessed the following in basic training at Ft. Benning Georgia.
We were in a mandatory class on sexual harassment. The class was taught by our Executive Officer (XO). He began the class by talking about Georgia's sodomy law. The law defined sodomy as either oral or anal sex, or sex with an animal. All of which where illegal in Georgia, in the late 1980s.
One of the soldiers in my platoon stood up and asked with all sincerity "Why would they make a law against having sex with animals?"
He line of thought was "Why would lawmakers go to the trouble of making a law against having sex?".
The rest of the platoon's line of thought regarding his line of thought was "Why would lawmakers go to the trouble of outlawing something so enjoyable?".
thetok42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm not really a teacher, but training people how to use a certain software in a company :
me : So here in this table you can see all the data
her : but there is too much data, it doesn't fit in the screen !
me : yeah, but you can scroll down, use the mouse wheel
her : but... how will I do if my mouse stops working one day ?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught a remedial Geography survey course for high school students during a summer session two years ago.
The classes were three hours long (insane) and the students were of all grades from 9-12(really fucking insane, so many fights)
I put up a map of the world without country names and asked this pair of obnoxiously loud and inattentive 14 year old girls where Canada was.. I ruled out that they were fucking with me by how silent and embarrassed they got when they pointed to Africa.
adraria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't Gengus Khan just just jump from Korea to Japan?
dmiiiit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in high school biology we were revising cell growth after having completed a whole module of it and were about to sit an exam. The teacher was explaining how living things are built up of millions of cells and just going over what we had been taught for the last 6 weeks.
A girl at the front literally asked: "So Mrs. X are we all one cell?"
I literally saw her will to continue teaching crumble in front of the class.
jett_machka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a biology lab, a student asked, "What kind of cheese is the cheesecloth made out of?"
Ended his question with a preposition. What a moron.
Polardude5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Showed a flat world map: "What's on the other side?"
PretzelFarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but I once had a student spell "it" as "i't" and it was not a fancy dot on the i. This same kid asked how Ms. Garcia was Mexican, since she was "too white."
boesse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is a hippo a mammal?" I.e. when asked on an exam to essentially identify hippos as mammals, birds, or "reptiles". This was in college, two semesters ago
Ryno1o1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my Christian high school, a student once asked our Bible teacher what Mary's last name was before it was Christ.
The teacher just stared at him for about 6 seconds and then moved on.
grizwald001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My understanding came from penthouse.
TheKocsis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In elementary the police came in to the class to have a presentation and talk about their stuff. At the end i asked if i can shoot somebody with the gun please..
C4lligator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a girl in my 8th grade science class said "so if I fill myself up with helium, tie a bunch of balloons to myself and jump off a cliff, would I float up into space? Oh wait but then I would die from breathing in the space air..."
thepersonification ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had one of those pupils in a senior Geography class, very smart but no common sense
"Sir is the great wall of China in Egypt?"
then on another occasion they asked "do sheep poo as I have never seen one poo" - we lived nowhere near sheep for this to be relevant... However the best:
"how do Australians managed to stand on the world? Oh never mind I know they take a shot of helium daily"
The7thStreet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but people in my classes have asked questions such as:
"Is Athens a real place or was the classics teacher just making it up?"
"Where does rain come from?"
These were asked by 15/16 year olds.
PandasakiPokono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously there are stupid questions, I just think the purpose of the saying in education is to promote critical thinking, and shed the mindset that there is always a definitively right or wrong answer in every situation.
avoidedemperor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a few months ago in A college western civilization class, a student asked what evolution was. Like they had never even heard of the idea of evolution.
Rizzpooch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every semester, I take my freshman classes to the library and tour then through the different parts in order to give them a sense of the resources their school offers beyond internet databases. After going through everything I asked if anyone had questions and a student asked "wait, so we can take any of these books?" It made some classmates laugh, but it mostly opened my eyes to how little exposure current students get to tangible resources. It was also a great segue for me to talk about the difference between books in the stacks that can be checked out vs reference/bound periodicals/periodicals/reserve/special collections/microform/current periodicals
Humblebee89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3D modeling instructor here. I had a student ask me why we had to learn Zbrush (an industry standard sculpting app) since employers would just let him use what software he wanted and he didn't like the interface.
I kindly explained to him that he should learn it because he'd be using whatever the fuck software his employer tells him to use or he'll be looking for a new job.
chefr89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should retitle this: 'non-teachers of Reddit..'
rake2204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do I change the font to Spanish?"
Bracken002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not asked, but answered. Our teacher came to the front of the class with an exam, grinning from ear to ear. One of the guys in our class had written out a detailed experiment which was totally fine... except one point. The experiment was to see what colours flies were more attracted to, but the guy had noted that the flies would need to be removed after each test so they couldnt tell the other flies that it was dangerous.
The poor guy was laughing with his head in his hands. "I think this is a new level of stupid. Wh'd you put that there???!?!" "I dont know! It seemed like a good idea at the time!"
EpicTurtleMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, one I can answer! When I was in 7th grade we were doing a short 9/11 remembrance day thing, and I raised my hand and asked what 9/11 was in complete ignorance. It had just never been mentioned to me before, I was the only kid who didn't know
Sailfast1440 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time desks are in rows:
"Do we have a test today!?"
Note: I have a policy of never giving pop quizzes.
Nerozx-ro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can i go to the bathroom?
GaloisGroupie3474 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Japan an island?
-Honors American History class
fvrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 9th grade English we were watching Romeo and Juliet (the one with Leonardo DiCaprio) after the teacher pauses the movie a girl raises her hand and says "was this before or after the Titanic?" The teacher responds with "I'm not sure why?" And the girl goes, "because he died in Titanic." She honestly thought that he died in real life. Her logic was that it was about real life events (she thought it was like a real found film documentary and those were the real people and the real Titanic).
kagez28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do meteors always land right where there is a crater?
keepitJESUS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grade trip to Washington DC, all students are getting off the buses at one of our stops, the Holocaust Museum. Very very ignorant girl says, "why are we even here? What was the Holocaust?"
One of the most dumb and insensitive questions I've ever heard asked in my life.
dekid_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My classmate in a good college asked why in fractions,units cancelled each other out. Mind you this was an engineering class and you NEED to know Maths.
Word for word he asked "how come you remove metres when u divide length by radius?" Lecturer is stunned at question and appropriately enough let's that reaction last for half a second before genius follows up with "is it something special you do? Or must we all do that?"
He didn't get out of that class
xkrysis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife worked in graduate/university level education (Masters of Education program, no less). A student replied to an email asking for her email address.
Sax_Axolotl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember in ~5th grade, someone asked:
"DID THEY HAVE RAMEN ON THE MAYFLOWER?"
Nigmus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but once in a history class this girl though da vinci invented the helicopter
BlaiddDrwg82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She wasn't entirely wrong. Da Vinci did design something similar, the Aerial Screw.
gethighandthink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well he did come up with a helicopter-like design.
corrazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this was me For draws and prizes which entered and drawn at random, asked my mum (a teacher) if we could go to "Random" to watch the draw live
Eazyyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my sister asked my gran, "When you recycle chicken bones, do you get a new chicken?"
Dumbfounded.
Madmantwentyone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student of mine asked if she could use my microwave. I said sure. Next thing I know, there's sparks and smoke. She had put in something wrapped in foil. I said, "You can't put metal in a microwave like that!" She said, "I know that, but is foil metal?"
kassiewijl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have any atomb bombs actually ever been used?
purpleplankton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why does all Indian food have curry in it?" - a Spanish adult
vgeorgeperuv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate asked if you zoomed in far enough, if you could see the "H" and "O" in a water molecule. Please note we're in an advanced class in 11th grade. And he was completely serious.
JSHU16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the final year of my chemistry degree: somebody asked what a double bond was.
To non-scientists/chemists you typically learn what a double bond is around age 13/14 in school. No idea how somebody got to the final year of a chemistry degree without knowing that.
almostascientist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: what's the pH of semen?
Student: sour
demarius12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when I was in 7th grade we were watching a video of a speech by Winston Churchill and a girl in the class yelled out "Dat Martin?"
o11899nine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student of mine had been in my class for about 2 years. Since day one I'd used "TB" as an abbreviation for Textbook. One day I write on the board: "open TB40" and she asks: "sir, what is TB?". The whole class sighed in such manner that I immediately knew she said dumb stuff like this on a regular basis.
reagan-nomics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All these posts just reminded me of the worst one I have ever experienced personally.
There was a lady next me who had recently gotten out of the Navy. We were training for a night shift job and the trainers put a map of the world in front of us (I don't know why). We were asked to name as many countries and oceans we could. The girl named Canada, US, and Mexico. She looked up at me and asked where the oceans were. (Navy - Oceans!)
clintmemo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she spent more time with semen than seamen.
madd74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I send you an email with the exact layout of how the week will go, then do a verbal Q & A going over said thing, and you STILL ASK THE SAME FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION.
So, basically, any question that could be avoided if you got of your fucking phone and paid attention.
entishman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After missing a class or lecture..."Did I miss anything?"
kagez28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did boneless chickens evolve?
Handsinmotion1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always say there are no stupid question, just stupid people asking questions. Of course I'm somewhat of a pragmatist.
Jesse_berger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my historical geology professor during the evolution discussion if certain water dogs like my golden retriever will evolve to just live in the water. Given the choice I think my golden would love that opportunity
ImHardMadeOfAmerican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm certainly embarrassed to admit that I was the one to ask this. But my Biology teacher was pregnant (about 7months along) and we were going over the reproductive system in class. I started asking her all sorts of questions about it (since I was a 10th grade virgin and I was extremely uneducated on how everything worked) I asked if she had any other children and she said "yes, this will be my 4th" and I, without hesitation, said "oh wow! Do you know who the father of this one is?" And the entire class got dead silence. And she looked shocked as all hell. And I turned redder than the devils dick. And she could tell I was embarrassed. And she goes "well as a matter of fact I do. Thankfully it's the same father as my other three" and a ton of my buddies just laughed and couldn't believe I had asked the teacher such a question and got away with it. I apologized to my teacher after class that day.
lue42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my teacher wife:
A high school student asked "you know those movies about the future? How do they know that is what it will look like?"
CeilingUnlimited ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught Swift's "Modest Proposal" for several years. Invariably, I would get "why would we study some monster who thinks eating children is a good idea?"
By the end of the unit, most kids understood, but there would always be a couple that never figured it out, no matter what I tried.
On the unit test, I'd always put the question "Did Swift really want kids to be eaten?" I'd never get 100% correct responses.
shotputprince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Mr v?
CeilingUnlimited ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:) Nope. But I seriously doubt I'm alone in this.
shotputprince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in college and someone asked if I ever read modest proposal. I think it's actually a great bit for middle school kids in America to see how dumb they are
CeilingUnlimited ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These were 11th graders.
bbaccce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher. 14yo girl in geography class seriously asked : " Is North Korea part of european union? "
UTEngie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember in 9th grade our science teacher (who's also a football coach) told the class there were no stupid questions and to ask whatever they wanted.
Student: "Why can't I float in air?"
Teacher: with a dumbfounded look "Air? You can't even float in water."
meiniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but happened in my graduate legal program. We are in our criminal code course and this one girl who has a habit of asking terrible questions asks, "how can we tell if the courtroom is criminal? Is it from the men in orange jumpsuits?"
I'm pretty sure the whole class cringed in unison and the teacher had to bite her tongue not to laugh or tell her it was a stupid question.
Beltyboy118_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but had someone ask where wood was on the periodic table during chemistry
callmetmrw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but back in my military days, we were taking a quick break after having a death by powerpoint presentation about sanitary hazards while out in the field. A group of us were lounging around when this one guy gets all serious and asks: "Hey SGT, how do I become a mercenary?" We all looked at him, looked at eachother, looked at him and break time was over.
rayden202 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda relevant?
Students who continuously act like they're answering the question when all they're doing is explaining what the question is.
For ex, just this week my professor asked us to name one public service that we all need in Canada. A simple question right? Well the answer he received was "it should be a service we (taxpayers) pay for because then it would be a good service." Prof replied all public services should be good regardless of whether we pay for them or not. Answer prof was looking for was literally one or two words like transit or health care.
sonakay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little late, not a teacher but he mentioned this gem:
"When did we discover the moon?"
mibop3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my 8th grade sex ed class once asked the teacher, "if you drink chocolate milk while you're pregnant, does your baby turn black?"
vivadixiesubmarine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old was Julius Caesar when he wrote "William Shakespeare"?
wiseleyb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I once had an intern ask me if Estonia had a lot stones.
StayPuffGoomba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid per se but certainly annoying and lacks thinking. "Is he dead?", "Are they still alive?", or "How did they die?". I don't mind if they are asking about recent event stories, but usually it's when we are studying early European explorers or the founding fathers. Look kid, this was over 200 years ago, we've discussed how they didn't have TV, cars, phones, etc. and it blew your mind, now you're asking if they are still alive? Dude, you're not even trying to think.
azanc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In China, don't they only eat flowers or something like that?" -2nd grade student
Emmdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a school open house with my parents when I overheard one of the other parents ask our 8th grade teacher how long it took the Native Americans to carve out the Grand Canyon.
jerni57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might have slready been said. Not a teacher and this was corroborated by students in the class. My teacher in zoology told us that in her anatomy class going over reproduction and how sperm is comprised of protein and glucose. A girl raises her hand and asked that if there is sugar, then why is it not sweet.
YYZ_Kyjo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So was the underground railroad that was used by slaves one of the first subway systems ever developed?"
sushiking1223 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm no teacher, but back in high school, my history teacher told the class that he once had a student who asked him if history was black and white like in the old pictures.
turn_king ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How many times does the earth revolve in a day?"
Gtadude17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When a student asks a question about something you literally just explained.
Nelthilta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In grade 11 AP history, a girl asked "okay, but when did World War Three start?" Everyone stared at her and then the teacher asked her how many World Wars she'd thought there'd been... 6. She thought there had been six World Wars.
CMDanaher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a girl in my Year 9 (13-14 years old) geography class asked if France was in England. This was AFTER she had just been on a school trip to Paris. I really wanted to go on that trip but couldn't afford it, meanwhile this girl didn't even realise she'd left the country. The teacher then told her she had "the geographical knowledge of a spoon"....she didn't understand.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in 9th grade ELA, while reading Mice and Men: so we just learned about the Candy's dog, and being the teenagers we were, me and a close friend of mine were being an ass. So he starts calling me a bitch (I mean this guys is a really close friend of mine, but sometimes he's so annoying and stupid it hurts) in that really obnoxious way, you know, adding emphasis on the B and the tch. And he is repeating himself. So I was liek call me butch one more time. This guy calls me a bitch, and I'm like "Good but he's do what they're told." This caused him to quiet down for a while, and I don't remember exactly what happened, but he raises his hand and asks "Are there guy dogs?" We all started dying of laughter, and my teacher (whom I found as one of the coolest I've ever met) throws a paper ball at him.
TLDR- friend asks teacher "are their guy dogs"
wrath4771 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me which planet in our solar system had life on it. She was a freshman.
Elyikiam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Random rather than stupid.
I had an autistic student. While other students would be taking notes and listening to "story time" in 6th grade history class, this kid would ask the most random questions. We'd be talking about heads getting chopped off in the French Revolution and he'd start asking a line of questions about my fast food preferences, my order, if I went often, etc. Every time it was a different subject.
The fun part is that I would answer his questions quietly while students were completing their outlines between slides. He and I would be juggling our conversation and the school subject at the same time. Sometimes he'd add another conversation line and jump back and forth between subjects. The remarkable thing is this kid would take perfect notes while in the other classes he was non-responsive, non-compliant.
Dark_Diosito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a class mate asked to my teacher and I quote "Are fish people?...". I shit you not.
Everyone had a good laugh that day and we still remember today.
anthony_trboxr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow classmate asked, "How may years of humans eating butterflies will it take for is to start having glowing butts?"
He is a 30+ year old man. And the topic at hand was DC Theory, the theory of how DC electricity works.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
catsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but mammals have egg cells and placentas...that's the thing, your teacher probably didn't know the evolution of internal reproduction in mammals either, or did they mention platypus eggs and stuff?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a girl in my senior economics class in high school who couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that SOMEONE was putting money into her bank account which then allowed her to take money out of an atm.
Dawbarton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a 12 year old student ask me: "Is is to possible for a woman to get Salmonella if she's NOT pregnant?"
seth349 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student. This is in grade 9 Geography class, and we start talking about different climates in the Middle East. And this one girl said "Is the reason Iraq is so hot because of all the oil they have underground"? She was completely serious. They teacher was just kinda shocked, went blank for 5 seconds and just said no thats not why.
jbattles86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the US - "My boyfriend is going to be stationed either in Hawaii or Germany... What's the difference between Hawaii and Germany?"
itstheclap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but........ " What's the difference between being Spanish and being Hispanic?" Is a normal question from a freshman in high school. Only it took about 20 minutes for her to grasp the concept, and even then i think she was lying.
skiddlymcdoodlybop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a girl in my 11th grade geography class asked where the Gulf of Mexico was. It wouldn't be so bad if we didn't live in Florida.
TalueyAuD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher....but in 7th grade we were sitting in class and one kid raised his hand and said, obviously a little embarrassed but completely serious, "you know how those pictures from a long time ago are in black and white?..well...is that how y'all saw too? Or was everything actually in color?" everyone literally just sat there and looked at him in silence. Finally, the teacher told him that was a stupid question.
shadowrangerfs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid but confusing. This was in an ESL class that I used to teach.
The Question: Do only black people live in Jacksonville? I had to ask what made her ask this. Her response: Jacksonville must be named after a famous person named Jackson. A very famous person named Jackson: Micheal Jackson the King of Pop. Since, he's black, only black people would want to live in a city named after him. She asked just to be sure.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was giving a presentation about the Milkyway at a university. I show a picture that was generated by knowing the positions of many stars in it and where the spiral arms are therefore and so on...
I say "This simulation shows what we currently think the Milkyway looks like..."
Question from a student: "How did they get the camera out so far?"
CorvidaeSF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school science teacher. I was talking about the California drought and how low the reservoirs are and one student raised his hand and with 100% seriousness asked why we couldn't just, like, take a hose and fill them back up.
Bless his heart, too precious for this world.
DustPalacePapa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do meteors only land in craters
TheGreatestUsername1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly any question that can be found on the professor's syllabus, but to be fair, the syllabus is the most thrown away hand out some students do not keep.
Jrasmus616 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student, in my US 1 history class, some girl asked "Did the US win the revolutionary war?"
katie001x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but happened in my 9th grade English class. We were in the middle of Act 2 of Romeo and Juliet, and one of my classmates says out loud, "What's a Montague?" Now, had she posed this question in the beginning of the play, whatever. But the middle of Act 2?! The teacher just looked at her and said, "Are you high?" Probably not the best response from a teacher, but yeah. That was a long time ago, but will always be stuck in my mind. Loved that teacher, though.
mnmenator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. In my high school Geography class, we were looking at a political map of the United States, and one kid asked, with 100% seriousness, "If you looked at the earth from space, does it actually say 'United States' on the United States?"
doubleplusgoodful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a kid in my grade nine & ten classes.
Some golden questions included:
Edit: formatting
NBASUCKSBALLZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But how does the fuel get to the engine, I mean gravity cannot push the fuel all the way to the carb?
AnimalCh1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told a 7th grade student talking out too much...
I said, "I've already asked you several times, please wait your turn." He responded, "Why do teachers always say several? Why is it never sixeral or eighteral? You didn't even ask me 7 times."
Not even trying to be funny, kid was serious...
thebigdinnerplate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a basketball coach I drew up a play for one of the kids. Wanting to put him on the right side of the court for his shot I asked him "your right handed, right?" And he responds "I shoot with my right but dribble with my left" :/
Needless to say I drew up a play for a different kid
CapCougar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question, but a student response that seems to fit. In college, my professor had us do a pop quiz. After the quiz he joked, "I hope you all enjoyed your little quizy!" A girl in the class responded, "Well, if that was one of your little quizies, I can't wait to see your little testies." She immediately realized what she said, stood up, left the class, and never came back.
Romanv12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time in my ap government class senior year of hs about 2 years ago, its towards the end of the school year.. and our teacher was just explaining checks and balances and talking about presidential power n stuff. This girl literally interrupts him and asks "wait, isnt obama a republican?" The whole class went silent and looked at her like wtf. I was dying laughing i could not believe it. She was dead serious
quiet_artist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in grade 9, some guy asked if people who are beheaded are still alive.
doubleplusgoodful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, except for Nearly Headless Nick. He died because he wasn't properly beheaded."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I remember a couple stupid questions I asked when I was a kid. A very young, naive, stupid kid...So once I asked the teacher, "Why is the company called The Bay when in the logo the B looks like an M?" I actually remember the look of confusion on the teachers face as they replied, "Umm...I'm not sure. Nnnnext question." The second one was in some sort of health class and we had a guest Dentist come over to give a presentation about oral hygeine. Me being me, of course I had to ask, "Is gingivitis like cancer?" This time the speaker humored me saying, "That's a very good question. But no it isn't." The funny thing about me asking that one was that I asked my friend beside me if I should ask it and they said, "Yeah do it. That's a good one." To this day I don't know if they were being sincere or just messing with me, but at the same time I remember they were as young and dumb as I was so yeah haha.
An intentionally stupid but funny question was asked on behalf of my teasing "friends" in our religious studies class in high school once. Our super conservative deacon teacher had an ananyomous question box, and one day he got the one my friends wrote which said, "Hi my name is [my name] I'm not circumcised but I would like to be, is there a home kit I can use?" The class burst out laughing and the teacher gave me...ME a very serious and stern look as if I would humiliate myself like that while the entire class laughed. My friends were dumb on purpose, but the teacher was just plain dumb. I wasn't mad though, even I had a good laugh at that one.
Lastshadow94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not technically teaching (although I do have to teach sometimes), but the number of stupid questions I get working in IT is painful.
"I've got this message saying I need my username and password to log in"
"...did you try your username and password?"
"No, but that worked. Thanks!"
OR
"My speakers aren't working"
"...Are they plugged in?"
"I haven't touched it, so it must be"
"...can you check?"
"It wasn't plugged in. It works now."
People are dumb sometimes.
skittles606 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I must be in the minority. This isn't a dumb question. The student asks how astronauts stand on a planet "like that". As an a spherical/elliptical planet. And the answer is what you learn in physics - because gravity pulls you toward the mass's center.
Granted, I'm not sure why he specified astronauts of all people influenced by how you stand on a planet.
doubleplusgoodful ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guessing you mean "planet."
Maybe he specified astronauts because the non-astronauts among us have only ever been on Earth, which is obviously flat. </ sarcasm>
herper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class with a guy in it (senior year of college btw). that asked if the connection has ever been made that the campfires the aztecs and mayans used is what caused the climate change that resulted in the drought and their demise.
everyone kind of just looked at him like dafuq how big do you think their fires were to produce that much greenhouse gases.
doubleplusgoodful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also worth asking that kid: "Have you heard of the Conquistadors?"
hoffmantransfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S:"Are the moon a hoax?"
T:"Excuse me?"
S:"Are the moon a hoax?"
T:"Yes....yes...the moon is a hoax."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ha!!!! My time has come! OK so I am a Sex Ed teacher and I give semester classes once a week to various different high school classes for about a whole semester. We cover a lot of subjects like relationship building, safe sex methods, and myth and facts.
So I was covering a myth and facts segment of what type of protection works or not and I was covering specifically the douching method. Now for those who don't know, douching is when you use a water stream or some type of solution with some pressure in an attempt to clean out your vagina. The theory is that with a good clean then you can potentially wash out STDs and Semen to avoid getting pregnant. After I explained that this is simply not true and that water stream can actually increase your chances of getting pregnant since you can essentially give sperm a free ride through the filopian tubes.
So after I explained all of this I had one student and she had a puzzled yet curious look in her eyes. She then asks me: "OK if the water stream won't work could I then use a vacuum to suck the sperm out instead?" I had to try my absolute best not to burst out laughing. But.... Come on people you're in college that answer should be simple!
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hope you pointed out the dangers before someone went and used one of those crazy strong newer vacuum models on their vagina and uterus. Strong enough, sealed enough, far up enough and it could well damage her.
Seeing how abortion is secretly outlawed, it is very VERY important to see those questions as questions for alternative methods to prevent or end pregnancy. The dangers MUST be discussed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I treat all questions seriously, even the obvious shock questions, so I definitely gave instructions to never do that for it can cause bodily harm.
TheGarvinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but once we were being shown a video in class about the sun and I asked "Why are you showing us a video where it says the sun is hydrogen when we now know it's plasma? " It had never occurred to me that an element could be an element and a plasma. I felt stupid after I found out.
redditonmyphone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Satellites or something..."
philphan25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also see:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3kggfr/teachers_of_reddit_there_are_no_stupid_questions/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3c6c6d/teachers_of_reddit_what_is_the_dumbest_question_a/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2qd4s3/teachers_of_reddit_whats_the_dumbest_question_a/
Willendorf77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a senior in college, in a literature class about Shakespeare, fellow student asked, "So did Romeo love Juliet?"
shotputprince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good question. I contend that a 14 year old can't have the same breadth of emotion as an adult
TuckerNKH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but this one time in biology a student thought cars were living technically because they could move.
zeroanthem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly off topic but one younger brother once won an award at school for best answer given. The question was what do two halves make? His answer; a pint. Bearing in mind he was probably 6 years old at this point taking early maths lessons.
Wabbit_Snail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Miss, what animal are steaks from?" Grade 11. And also "Chicken are birds?!? I thought they were their own animal..." Also grade 11, and not from a stupid kid, just one with misconceptions that were never confronted I guess...
catsan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:45:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thank consumer culture for that one
Wabbit_Snail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True. I have a friend that refused to eat an egg that a neighbour's chicken had laid on her lawn, she thought it was disgusting, she's a science teacher. I still make fun of her about it. There would be a lot more many vegetarians if people got to witness the whole process.
LordLucian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a teacher I worked with was asked when on the subject of the Hoover dam "Has anyone ever skateboarded down it?".
milesmac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How come there was no monkey?" Me: ... pardon? "There was no monkey in that video. There was supposed to be a monkey." Me: ... I still don't... "You know when that kong monkey grabs the girl and climbs the..." Me: ahh.. this was a documentary on Genghis Khan
Poor soul spent 30 minutes wondering where the monkey was.
Mathgailuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Math here, Give the lesson, do example, have them do example, give out worksheet. any questions? "So you just want us to fill this thing in with random numbers?" Speechless.
lordhumunguss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Slightly apocryphal) Years ago, while a professor was discussing ancient Greece, a student asked, "why do the dates gets smaller as we go forward?" Apparently he had no idea what BC(E) means.
tucker3612 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher, but a student. A classmate of mine once asked if spelling counted on a multiple choice test.
thebigdinnerplate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a basketball coach I drew up a play for one of the kids. Wanting to put him on the right side of the court for his shot I asked him "your right handed, right?" And he responds "I shoot with my right but dribble with my left" :/
Needless to say I drew up a play for a different kid
shotputprince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ik players who do that...
thebigdinnerplate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point is you're supposed to be able to dribble with both. Or you shouldn't be playing
shotputprince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dominique disagrees lol. Are you sure he wasn't just dominant left but had been taught to shoot rightie?
ugly_sun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this gonna be on the test?" during a midterm exam review...
arthur_figgis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me precede this story with the fact that I wear a name tag displaying both my first and last name.
Student: "Mr. Figgis, what's your first name?"
Me: "Mister."
Student: contemplatively mouths 'Mister Figgis,' nods in satisfaction
billyjohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a astronomy 101 at University of Pittsburgh. So jsut general stuff. This young fella raises his hand and asked "Isn't space just like a giant Pluto?" I don't remember that prof's answer as I was to stunned and confused by his question. I don't know if he was on drugs or what?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you do this even though you don't get paid and are treated like garbage?
Still looking for the answer.
PageGallagher15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I swear last semester in college in one of the hardest programs in the country(Canada) we had the most idiotic and most stupid mofo in our class. Always asking obviously clear questions, teachers always trying to ignore his bs. But one in particular question was in English where the teacher was talking about our final exam being off campus...
His question I kid you not was..."what does off campus mean?" Lost all faith then after
forest_mirage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little late to this thread but I was a TA for 1st year cell and organismal biology:
They had to classify animals into a cladogram:
1
Student: What kind of animal is a mudpuppy?
Me: Well thats your assignment, what kind of animal do you think it is?
Student: A type of puppy?
2
Student: Are pigeons birds?
Me: (what!?? how did this person get into university)
gorillaboy75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my 7th grade students in SC how 9/11 had affected them. One girl said, "9/11 did not affect me because I've never called it. Really?
Lady_Z_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Did we do anything yesterday?"
No, I couldn't bear to teach without you, so we just mourned your absence for 85 minutes.
grandmaster661 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one
samf01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked something similar ages ago
fuscia_unicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After some give you hell for the whole week and you tell them they wont get any free time at the end of Friday but they have to finish the work they haven't done, there is always one who will ask: "What did I do?!" In my head, the answer is: "Where do I start from, you little shit..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the constellations are giant images of things like bears, dragons, etc. in the sky (9th grade.)
Roboticsoldier798 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine told me that one of his classmates had to ask the math teacher what are fractions and how do you add and subbtract them. This was in High School
scdurs63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew college students that couldn't do it.
Peydey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here:
In the middle of AP Biology as the teacher is talking about the Krep's Cycle a girl raises her hand and asks, "What about vaginas?"
The whole class was busted into laughter absolutely confused what the hell she was asking about, and the teacher (whom I respect immensely) held a perfectly straight face and asks, "what do you want to know?"
That is literally all the context, it was that odd, and absolutely hilarious.
FluffLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting for Kevin's teacher to show up
KefkaZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman in high school in Michigan (less than an hour from the border): "Wait, is Canada a country?"
-_loki_- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, they had movies in the 1960s???
When did the world stop being black and white and turn color? (Giving benefit of the doubt here and assuming they meant pictures and/or movies, but the phrasing was hilarious)
Is Africa a country? They always think Africa is a country. Always.
Who stole the idea of building a wall? The Chinese for the Great Wall or the Germans for Berlin Wall? (As in, one of the two stole the idea from the other... who is it? benefit of the doubt that he was asking which Wall came first)
I have more but these are the ones that sprung to mind. I teach high school level btw.
Cell-i-Zenit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
We talked about how fat people sometimes needs to get lifted with a crane to get them out of the house. A student asked "What is a crane?"
We all died
Bonus: She told everyone in a presentation "A Fish cant sleep".. everyone goes "??????".. "Because then they would flow with the river"
cjrob8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a high school a girl asked: "when a boys balls drop, do they grow a new pair?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who remembers the thread about the student called Kevin? I'll try to find the link.
Johnny_Swiftlove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once was explaining to 11th grade summer school students that sharks bite surfers because they often mistake them for their favorite food, seals. When they realize human does not taste like a seal they often do not bite again. Girl says really obnoxiously and totally seriously, "How do you know what sharks like to taste? You're not a shark!" I paused for a moment and said, "In 15 years of teaching, that is stupidest thing any student has ever said to me."
two_what ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One day this student, who I'd been bending over backwards to try and get caught up in class and up to speed, seemed to have a question burning him up. Eventually we get to a point that he comes up to me and asks me this question: "how do you roll your sleeves up so they look like that?"
After that I was just spent on the kid, not even a single thought of his was on classwork ever, at that point I just diverted my time to kids who cared about the content.
Thunar13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was taking my sat in high school someone asked "how do you write a big i in cursive"
MyDamnCoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/UrsulaMajor, Ursula Minors are cuter!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who invented Mars?
Goaliedude3919 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite was on a field trip and while we were on the bus we passed over a river. Some kids started talking about the river and one kid says "Is it edible to swim in?" No one knew how to respond to that lol.
Stamos22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were passing through Gettysburg while on a tour with the school rugby team. I was on the mic giving a quick history lesson about the battle when one of the students (a grade twelve no less) asks in all seriousness "wait, has this battle happened yet?"
The entire bus was silent for a long while.
Fun fact said student is now attending one of the most prestigious business programs in the country. Pray for us all.
Parody_Account ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms.(says last name), what's your last name?
(9th grader)
Cletus1235 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a Teacher
Had a girl in one of my legal classes sincerely ask if it's still classed as rape if you have an orgasm. She wasn't the brightest spark to say the least.
26summer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me if the specified margins had to be applied to every page on their paper.
No, only do it on the 3rd page. Mix it up for me.
SecretPotatoChip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but one time a girl asked "We live on the west coast, right?" (we lived on the east coast). Then when someone corrected her, she said "SHUT UP I KNOW MY GEOMETRY"
porcelain_queen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sophomore year of high school someone asked the teacher what Hitler's last name was. He wasn't kidding.
frenchezz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not explicitly stated but I did catch a kid googling "what major do sports team owners take?"
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A relevant story from Charles Babbage:
FightTheWorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me what adultery meant. AFTER we were done reading the scarlet letter. This would not be a dumb question if asked in chapter one.
TheBoed9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but:
Entry level EMT class in the Army. We're going over an exam and discussing questions we got wrong with an instructor. One question was about the appropriate isolation precautions for a patient with active tuberculosis. The appropriate answer was a surgical mask on the patient and N95 mask for the medical personnel.
Well one soldier raised his hand, stood up and asked "Sergeant, if we put a surgical mask on the patient, and take the patient to the hospital, won't the hospital think the patient is a surgeon?"
The stupid, it hurt that day.
Molechaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a physics teacher in high school who was well known for constantly saying "There are no stupid questions." In my senior year, a small group of us signed up for an astrophysics class he was teaching.
Because it was such a small group, he offered to help us study for our finals, with the caveat that he would get to choose the music during the study session. His choice? New Model Army's "Stupid Questions," which has the lyric "Don't ask any more stupid questions."
HaydenGalloway13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in China I used to teach English to Chinese University students to make some money. When I open a map of the world on my computer to teach the countries probably 80% of them would ask which one is China. These are students of Zhejiang University which is one of the top universities in China.
I think its just the way students are taught in China, everything is memorizing written information. There's no visual learning.
wakawingo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in middle school my history teacher was telling how he experienced Hurricane Andrew first hand then a girl in the back asked if he survived
mod3ra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher assistant and a student once said "which way is north?" We went over this numerous times in class, thinking he's a troll.
Tim-92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, how do you spell GCSE? "
Aznloli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there's so much salt in the ocean, then where's all the pepper?
idiotguitarbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bio teacher now, but I worked with high school students in an alternative program for awhile. One, who was an 18 yo father asked, "Does my daughter look just like me because her mom and I had a bunch of unprotected sex while she was pregnant? Is it because I came in her all the time?"
First of all, way too much information. Second, no.
RemberSaftyInSnoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had heard another person in my Structural Engineering class ask if dry ramen was a valid construction material. They were serious.
bassinastor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I'm pretty sure I heard the stupidest possible question when I was in high school. I was in 10th grade biology and we were learning about characteristics of life. Things like your body regulating itself, having sense, requiring energy, etc. To get an idea of what characteristics are mandatory or at least common in living things the teacher asked us to name some things we knew were alive. People gave the answers you'd expect like cats, dogs, cows, sharks, bugs, we might have gotten as deep as bacteria or viruses, and then one kid said (I fuck you not), "Are rocks alive?" Everyone slowly turned around and looked at the guy. I don't think I've ever seen a teacher try so hard not to laugh. And no, he wasn't joking, he asked dumb questions a lot but never anything that was this blatantly stupid.
ChuckJerry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: "So mista, was Shakespeare's time back when they had, like, castles and dragons and everything?" Me: "You mean like everyone was walking their pet dragons around?" Student: "Yeah." Me: "Ah, no, that's more medieval times, which was like 0 - 1300. Shakespeare was in the 1600s." Student: "Zero, no way. That was like cavemen and stuff." Me: [pause] "Good luck on that Global History final exam." Student: "Huh? I already passed that."
WhenRomansSpokeGreek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of the time, it's usually kids hearing stuff from their parents and trying to phrase it into their own words.
I once had a Grade 11 student ask me why socialism was a thing after the 'BC Ferries fiasco'. When I asked him to explain his understanding of the event, he admitted to me later privately that he didn't know, but had heard things in his house that made the NDP to look like 'evil radicals' (his words).
We spent the next day talking about provincial governments. It was a good learning experience, but I'll never forget the day a kid told me in total confidence the NDP were a bunch of Commies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher but in my college geology class when we got around to dinosaurs a girl raised her hand and asked, "How do you know? Did the humans from back then write it down?" I think her question was in reference to did dinosaurs really exist.
gommel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my fellow students in grade nine asked if Mexico was apart of Canada
ChuckJerry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: "Mista, we're reading MacBeth. That shit is mad boring. Did you ever read MacBeth?" Me: "Yeah, I read it in middle school." Student: "Middle school (eyes wide)? Damn, that book must be old."
Dizi4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was in a class in which a student asked the teacher if you can get addicted to Cyanide pills
ChildishYombino124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://soundcloud.com/yombe/love-heist
UndeadGoat18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might be to late to the party here but there was once a guy that asked our English Math teacher what his accent was
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my classmates asked why it's all dark when you close your eyes.
FifthUserName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman/Sophomore University level.
I had a student ask me if the world map hanging on a wall outside the room was correct. When I asked him why he thought it was wrong, he said "Well Alaska is, on here, it's up in Canada but isn't it an island out near Hawaii?"
Turns out he had never looked at a globe or a full world map so he had always seen the USA with those inserts just off the west coast showing Hawaii and Alaska and had just assumed both to be islands.
h3rb13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were on a camping trip and I wanted to install a hammock. I asked a couple of students where they'd like it. They pointed to a bunch of trees. I selected two and asked them: "These two?" One of them asked: "Are you sure they're exactly opposite of eachother?"
doctorocelot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got a question from a 12 year old student, that is more ridiculous than stupid.
I could see him sitting there pondering things for a solid minute, he then turned to me and said: "Sir? Did humans name the planets?"
It was one of those "wait, what, how do I even begin to figure out where this question even came from" moments. It's not really a problem with his physics, it's not an English question, like "why are they named what they are" or something. It was just absurd.
DerangedRangered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but had a fellow student ask a teacher why she can sometimes see the moon and the sun at the same time. It turns out she thought the sun and the moon were the same, just two different sides of the same object. The teacher had to draw a model of the solar system on the board to show that the sun is like a billion times bigger and farther away than the moon. She never truly lived that one down.
slopez13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in middle school a group of Sex Ed teachers were giving a presentation to my grade in our auditorium. One of the educators brings up the topic of flavored condoms and one of the kids in our grade raises his hand and asks, "can you taste the flavor on the condom?" เฒ _เฒ
baconismywayoflife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but used to tutor graduate level biochemistry. Had a graduate student ask me "why does hydrogen bond to hydrogen?". For clarification, this child already had a bachelor's degree in some sort of science to be in this program... which means that she'd already had AT LEAST two inorganic chemistries and two organic chemistries and one prior biochemistry. I don't know what university she went to for undergrad, but they failed miserably at one of the most basic elements of chemistry. I quit tutoring immediately following that session. She taught me that I cannot teach someone from the ground-up, that far into their education.
alexc648 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a pre-shool student to a family member "why is the moon out in the day" funny thing is she had no idea what the answer was
willi_con_carne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two girls in my geography: 1 thought France was a county in England another thought is was its own country but part of the UK. That's what you get when you are told Britain is the best place. (Btw British school)
CanIpickAnameLater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in my AP bio class we were talking about narwhals and some girl said "wait, narwhals are real?" I could not handle how dumb this question was and how dumb this girl was. She's a senior in high school, is in all AP classes, and has gone 18 years without knowing narwhals are real
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hand back test: 5/40. "Is that good?"
RedNorGreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright, does anyone have any questions?" "What's an eptopic pregnancy?" We had literally just finished a 10 minute explaination about eptopic pregnancies. We even had books opened with diagrams and explanations in front of us.
paul_stanley_armada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The flipside: My Health teacher ("Coach" of course) told the class that water is the most fattening thing you can put in your body but since you can't live without it "what you gonna do?"
PirateWenchTula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mrs. ______, what lives on the other nine planets?"
"If you dip your dick in Mountain Dew before having sex does it really keep you from getting pregnant?"
"Can you really die if a dude sneezes in you while he is going down on you?"
"Wait dinosaurs were real?!"
I have a million of them.
MssingPiece ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my hubby was an innocent wee six year old once asked in class who the Vikings were.
The teacher responded that they were warriors.
After thinking for a minute he asked "what did they worry about?"
Had me in stitches when he hid while his mum told me this story.
kvyoung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Undergrad Human anatomy lab, with cadavers. First day of examining the muscles and a girl comments, "I don't know why, but those muscles really remind me of meat." I'm patient, so I simply explain that human muscles are not fundamentally different from the muscles of cows or any other animal. She then exclaims,"Wait, What? You mean when we eat meat we are eating muscle?"
The_Iron_Zeppelin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My anecdote is actually a time I asked a stupid question. When I was about 6 or 7, I'd go to work with my Dad in the summer because he worked outside framing houses. One time during a lunch break I was talking with my Dad's coworkers who moved to America from England. This was probably my first experience talking to someone from another country so I innocently asked him,
"If you're from England why don't you speak English?"
I didn't yet understand that the language I thought was 'American' was actually English. I thought only people from England spoke English.
I_Zeig_I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If black people are from Africa, how do they speak English?" -Girl in my class back in high school
luc50631 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in health class, talking about weed, the teacher brought up how it can kill of sperm or make produce less (can't really remember) but one of the potheads in our class asked if that meant he didn't need a condom
axdnjn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4th grade astronomy. Talking about Jupiter being 11 times the diameter and 1,300 times the volume of Earth. Right after I explained that concept, a kid asked if it could fit in our classroom.
Flexeggutor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher but I was there for this: "Hello, I am Miss Blabla, your substitute teacher, your ordinary teacher Miss Blahablaha will not be back for a few weeks, she has hit the wall". This girl asks "What? Did she not see the wall?"
Kejii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7th grade teacher and during a discussion about poaching in Africa a student asked me if I "beat my meat" ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
theirongiant74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My response should have been: "what the fuck are you even trying to say?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
theirongiant74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was more the brutal murdering of any concept of grammar that offended me.
wharhammer44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm well I guess there's a reason I went into the sciences, plus I just finished driving my parents to the airport at 4 in the morning. But you wouldn't know about that you just complain about grammar on the Internet.
theirongiant74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chill fella, I'm just pulling your chain.
dogfish21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coach did I pass with an F? Or did I pass with a D?
zachary6227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is cotton candy made out of real cotton?
quebec2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How old is George Washington?" - a Sophomore
beardbreh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but never forgot this from high school. We were going through a grammar assignment with in 9th grade. The lesson was on comma placement, and the example sentence was "The colors of the American flag are, namely, red, white, and blue."
A girl raised her hand and asked, "Is 'namely' a color?"
LukeMedia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't have anything to add, but these are all hilarious...
King_elessar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To understand the stupidity of the questions first you have to understand the meaning of Arbitrage in a financial context;
the simultaneous purchase and sale of the same securities, commodities, or foreign exchange in different markets to profit from unequal prices.
So we are in a 4th year Finance degree courts for derivatives after a long and extremely difficult final exam, the professor was wanted some feedback on the exam. Now note - the majority of the semester was spent on learning about arbitrage. A studious student who always sat near the front raises his hand and asks " How about that negative Arbitrage question huh ?" professor facepalmed and realized he had failed as a professor - collective outbursts of laughter.
oyvho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking as a teacher to be: Yes, there are stupid questions. There are, however, no pointless questions. All questions are learning opportunities.
format120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but,
"Does the government wear a hat?"
LordOfTheChumps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a tearcher, but I remember in geography in year 9 a girl raised her hand to ask:
"Um Miss, where are Irish people from?"
"The Netherlands." Someone Jokingly responded
"Oh okay" She replied and started writing it down.
No learning difficulties or anything. Needless to say we all laughed.
Chxzzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my 7th grade science class asked how long it took humans to dig out the oceans.
droggg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Where is the center of the earth? Like under which country?" High School science class....student was a senior.
DungSC127 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student myself. The guy sit next to me in tuition class once tell me: "It is 6:50pm." after looking at the clock on the wall. I was confused because the class started at 5:30pm and ends at 7:00pm, and I thought it was only about 20 minutes after the class started.
So I looked at the clock, it says 5:50pm. I tell him: "It clearly says 5:50pm" And he says:"No you dumb fuck, it is 6:50pm, the damn hour hand is pointing at 6." Of course it is not, it is close to 6 because the it is almost 6pm.
The best part is he somehow didn't notices that if we follows his "time" the class could have ended in 10 minutes, instead, it goes on for 1 more hour.
ambut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I have WAY too many of these and unfortunately I don't have a single compendium of idiotic questions. This year, I have one student in particular who asks the most insane, out-of-left-field shit all the time. My favorite, at least so far, has been this:
I like to imagine that his pen has multiple settings, like those multi-color clicky pens, and one of those settings is "big". I still bring it up at least once a week. He's got to be so sick of my shit at this point.
*edited for formatting
belugawhaleballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wheres Oxford university?
BelugaHBSB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the capital of Europe? Honey, Europe is a continent. It does not have one.
Later, to his friends. My teacher is stupid. She doesn't know the capital of Europe.
OK.
MadamGunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: Did the world used to be black and white? Me:...what? Student: well all the old pictures and movies were black and white. Where did the color go? Edit: forgot to add, this girl was in 8th grade
nathanael_1732 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 9th grade Honors English class a fellow student of mine asked, "What is a minority?"
A different kid answered with, "Someone who is under the age of 18."
NotSelfReferential ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For every stupid question asked in class, about 95% of the observers are not teachers.
"Not a teacher, but..."
Peketu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turning things around.
I live in a EU country, and my teacher was making fun of americans being bad at pointing very basic countries of the EU, then I said. "But teacher, the USA are bigger than the EU and have a lot of states. I could even point the Ohio State in the map. Could you?" I must admit that the teacher accepted his error.
Kurbz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a question, but my father (a teacher) loved telling a story about a young, high school girl who went through an entire conversation about BJ's (the restaurant) without realizing that saying "I love BJs" was hilarious to literally everyone else.
Tippacanoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Does Virginia Beach have a beach?" C'mon man.
jessefusco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Florida, thats in Georgia right?
ordinarybagel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in my class (in grade 10!) once asked what snow was made of
swion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in class another student asked "when is Cinco de Mayo?"
OstrichFranny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching a beaver Scout when one of the kids comes up to me and complains that he's hungry. We made fruit kebabs that day and there was some fruit left over so I said
"Ok, you can have some grapes"
hands child the a pot with a few grapes in
Child looks confused and asks "sooooo... what do I do with them?"
"What? With grapes?"
"Uh yeah, what do I do?"
"You just eat them"
"Oh ok"
Then he ate the grapes and walked off.
Funky_Liberator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I once heard a college student ask Professor Neil DeGrasse Tyson what the speed of darkness was. He just kind of face palmed and went to the next question.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do islands float?
cadme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did Captain Cook fit under the Sydney Harbour Bridge?
jocelynforreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a senior in high school, this girl asked if oranges grew on trees. I'll never forget my teacher's answer.
"Yes oranges grow on trees! This is shit you need to know!"
bmage99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, however... During a masters level networking class, a student was adament that data packets would travel faster to/from the internet if there were more of them. The additional packets would cause pressure like water does through a pipe and flow more quickly.
Transgoddess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when i was in the 5th grade a student asked the teacher if you could plant paper to grow them back into trees :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LotharHex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am afraid to ask this...but you're sure they're not joking (I assume they're not)?
dimechimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sr year English class. We got off topic and were talking about the Civil War. A girl piped up and asked who won the Civil War.
ilivedownyourroad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should I sell my ps4 pro for the new Nintendo switch?
SlackerAddiction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I went to eight grade we learned about helium, and one of the girls in my class asked if that was the stuff divers used to breathe under water...
pic_N_mix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is right click?" I mean come on. She was in 7th grade. This a little over a month ago. I could. It believe what I was hearing.
tsax2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in Living History, so a branch of education.
"Is that real fire?"
bigmanmac14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A worried girl asked if cancer could run in families because her grandfather had prostate cancer. When the class roasted her she said "maybe it was cervical cancer.". 11th grade.
Cubanabop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Who was more famous: Bob Marley or Hitler?"
The student in a college music appreciation class asked it in total earnest, and had spent a LOT of time thinking about it. I still am not clear how or why the student chose these two public figures to compare/contast.
Of the 30ish other students in the room, two others were very keen to explore the topic (which I shut down quickly). The remaining students had this collective eyeroll I had never seen before, nor experienced since
PatMcSplat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my science class once asked if clouds were alive. This was sophomore year of high school.....
roseofgrace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in History class after talking about the civil war, a guy in my class asked "Who won?". Then, not even a minute after he asked another girl piped up "Yeah, who won?"
We were in 11th grade
LotharHex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AMERICA WON GUITAR RIFF
Rickard_Dorne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I cringe whenever a student asks a prof "does spelling count?" This is in university history and english classes.
flatlas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This did not happen in a class I was teaching, but a college student asked our astronomy professor if people can make a black hole in a lab. This was right after he told the class it takes 25+ solar masses to make a black hole, and described what would happen to a person who was unfortunate enough to get pulled into one.
dghughes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the student read about micro singularities hypothetical but certainly not science fiction. But we won't be making any of them anytime soon.
onmaifreetime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my APUSH class, we were talking about the Missouri compromise and ten minutes in she asks if Missouri actually a state
doubleplusgoodful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
APUSH?
Axel927 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Advanced Placement US History. Essentially a college-level US History 101/102 class taught in high school, typically for juniors.
onmaifreetime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AP US History, its like IB for the states a "college" level history course
doubleplusgoodful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:21 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha.
This would probably be helpful if I knew what IB was. Fortunately, I understand what AP is.
fyrefli666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AP US history?
thurgoft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this a stupid question?"
Brondog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a techer but this happened while visiting some relatives that live in the middle of nowhere, Brazil.
"Cousin Brondog, is mozzarella cheese?"
"Yes."
Her dad: "No it's not! Cheese is cheese and mozzarella is mozzarella."
We later went to the supermarket and I got a tray of mozzarella and asked him to read the little description of the kind of cheese that was inside that package. He was not happy to see me for a few years after that. Me and mom still joke about it once in a while.
coitadinho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught Spanish in grad school. This wasn't in my class, but one of my colleagues said one of his students asked, "how do you say tacos in Spanish?"
I could only imagine the look on his face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
University teacher at a business school. Had a student (freshmen) once ask me why companies didn't just raise salaries until their workers were happy. I wish I could have seen my own face; another student later told me I looked like I couldn't decide whether to believe the question was real or not. Fun fact: I was, in truth, trying to figure out how something so basic, at the age of 18, could be not understood.
Quercusrobar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend of mine asked me if hills were just sand dunes with grass.
predictableComments ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My gf is a teacher, and I'd have to say the "when are we ever gonna use this" question is pretty dumb. She gets it pretty much at every unit.
God damn it kids, quit asking that stupid question, you're going to use it on the test, on the exam, and then your dumb ass is never going to use it again cuz you're going to work multiple retail jobs until you land a position as an office receptionist and maybe a secretary if you're lucky where you're going to be helping people who actually bothered to learn how to solve problems.
mognats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But my math teacher in high school was showing her nephews pictures to the class from their vacation. A kid raises his hand and asks. "why are they black?"
steroidsnake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can the human race be millons of years old when the earth is only 2011?
DirtyestofPainters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College GTA here: I once asked who Thomas Jefferson was in a HIST 2010 class. One student calmly raised his hand full of confidence and replied "He freed the slaves" Safe to say we had a long talk about the founding fathers.
How_R_U_That_Busy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in elementary school (probably 1st, 2nd, or 3rd grade), we were being taught latitude and longitude. The mnemonic device that the teacher used for us to remember the direction of the two was: latitude, fatitude - fat is wide and so is latitude. So apparently that's was taught incorrectly, but let's keep going.
Fast forward a few years. I'm sitting in class and the teacher asks us what a mnemonic device is.
Thinking that this was my time to shine, I raise my hand and ask her, "is that like, latitude-fatitude?"
Cue eruption of laughter and I get sent to the office for being disruptive.
TLDR: Latitude-fatitude apparently I have an attitude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ColossalFuckhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learning about Sir Isaac Newton, teacher tells us that he invented modern Calculus, girl in my class raises her hand and asks "Wait but did he invent Pre-Calculus too?"
TheAlligatorGar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in one of my science classes years ago the teacher asked a girl why she thought we had such a complete fossil record (or something along those lines) and the girl legitimately said that coffins help preserve the bones. This chick thought dinosaurs buried their dead in coffins... Also not really a question but still
kennedyclaire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught year 5 sex Ed.... "miss if the dick goes in the butt and the white stuff comes out, does the baby get fertilized?!"
I clearly hadn't addressed all The mis-conceptions! ๐๐
Moostronus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Teacher, what does a-r-m mean?"
This was an advanced ESL class.
Icarium13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this one stuck with me.
A girl in my high school refused to believe that whales are "real". To her, they just seemed too big.
Legit thought they were scientists in "whale submarines" or something like that.
sfp33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in a seventh grade science class our teacher taught us that the core of Jupiter was basically a big diamond because the pressure of the atmosphere was so immense. Someone in our class asked if we could build a rocket ship to go yank the diamond out of the middle of Jupiter
It took all my willpower to stop from laughing
hosang3213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but last year in my gcse (15/16 years old) physics class we were doing simple distance time graphs. I was told to explain how to work out the distance travelled to someone and i told him to work out the area of a right angled triangle given the base and height. He did not know what i was talking about.
4i6y6c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. but someone once said to me "fuck you" and i replied with "metaphorically?". It was totally lost on them as they didn't know what a metaphor was. God only knows why I tried to explain it to them.
gronke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in 10th grade we had a "Countries of North America" quiz.
A few students didn't get 100%.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gronke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They wrote South America instead of Mexico.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when I was in highschool freshman wrestling we had someone on our team, seriously ask "when do we pick out our theme music?" The lecture from coach on how pro wrestling has ruined the minds of the youth was epic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my beginning guitar students asked, "When are we gonna play a fast song?" I told him that any song could be fast. He was like, "Really? Nuh-uh!" I played the piece he was limping through at a fast tempo, and it literally blew his mind. Like, "Wow......"
notreconductingtome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bring out Kevin
montycorridor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in an AP English class, a friend an I convinced the principals daughter that the platypus evolved from dragons. She proceeded to ask the teacher, and got only a disappointed look as an answer.
BlizzStaff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. Blizzstaff, what does the blue stuff on the map represent"
"Mr. Blizzstaff, wasn't George Clooney a president?"
"Mr. Blizzstaff are those dome structures filled with helium because they look like balloons"
The struggles of being a world history teacher
nattydew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So is America like an island, like you can drive a submarine underneath it, or is it like a beach all the way down?" -heard in freshman history class
neihuffda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why you guys think building a wall is a good idea=P
loopywolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher: a friend of mine had a TEACHER tell him that Slumdog millionaire was based on a true story
deuteros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but my high school Spanish class was taught by a woman from Colombia. This guy in my class asked her in all seriousness if people from Colombia lived in trees. The teacher was not happy.
StarkResilient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to this but whatever...
Not a teacher, but when I was in grammar school some of my classmates had some gems:
"Is Plato famous for inventing Play-Doh?"
Also, after a few weeks of studying Colonial America, someone asked if Texas was one of the 13 colonies. This was after a few weeks of talking about Colonial America, a test where we had to label the 13 colonies, and I believe we were past the Revolutionary War already.
joreilly86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did a science video for my little sisters (she's a teacher) class (kids around 6 yrs old). In it, i explained the cool elements of science very broadly and had them send me their own questions for the end, i told them some of my favorite things, dinosaurs, sharks, space. One kid called Luke asked me "if dinosaurs were alive today, could a dinosaur be a human?"
myrandomevents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not such a bad question if the kid knew or your video touched on the basics of evolution.
michi_gooner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in my class, and not a question, but a coworker was showing his history class pictures of his vacation to Italy (historical monuments, landscapes, etc) and a 9th grade student said "Mr. Whatever, I didn't know you were an astronaut."
They weren't kidding.
warrenelliott7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a class with a very clueless girl. This was the last year of biology so everyone is meant to know their stuff. She starts the question as "sir, you know when babies are in the stomach..." he cuts her off and just walks out the room.
PessimisticSnake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a picture of neslon Mandela on the screen with a prompt. A student proceeded to seriously ask if it was Barack Obama.
fairestof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time a girl in class asked if Florida is a southern state. We live in Florida......
myrandomevents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was she really asking if it's considered a "southern" state (Alabama, Georgia, confederate flag, etc.) and all the connotations that go along with it? For instance, Florida and Texas are southern states, but not "southern" states.
fairestof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Geographically. But this was the type of girl to pretend to faint in class all the time so she might have been going for shock and awe.
myrandomevents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's what I get for trying to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Any idea where she ended up after school?
fairestof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just looked her up. Apparently she's an actress/model and she works at a local restaurant. Glad to see those AP classes went to good use.
myrandomevents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice, reminds me of one of the smartest girls in my AP classes. Had a mid life crisis and became a porn star (Cherie Deville) two years ago or so. Makes catching up with friends fun\awkward; hey did you see that <real name here> has moved on from being ass fucked by lesbians to ass fucked by black dudes?
TelegramYosemiteSam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The other side of the coin. I had a high school science teacher argue with that a baseboard radiator heats a room by radiation, and only radiation, he very firmly believed this because of that wasn't true, they wouldn't have called them radiators.
uscravens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time during a WWII lesson a girl asked where the city Nazi, Germany was located.
neihuffda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
who was phone?!
crayold_lady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the photo of Hemingway was taken before he died!
norrawrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sophomore year of high school, this girl in my chemistry class asked why we couldn't breath under water since there's oxygen in water.
yami_riku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[Not a teacher] - Sex ed in a class full of 15 year olds. One of the kids asked, "What's the best protection?"
Teacher: "Abstinence."
Him: "Where can I buy it?"
Everyone began laughing. It wouldn't have been bad if the teacher literally didn't just talk about abstinence right before he asked that. He wasn't known to be the kid who would pay attention. Poor guy went red and stayed quiet.
cmustewart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Story from my wife, a HS English teacher. She tells some kids to stop saying gypped, because it's basically a slur against gypsies / Romanians and the school has a lot of kids from east Europe. The kid says that it isn't offensive because gypsies aren't real. The kid thought gypsies were an entirely made-up thing.
SlightlyLessHairyApe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student in a Physics lab ask me for a longer meter stick.
I told him there were some people in Paris he'd need to see about that, and he asked why we didn't just have on in the supply closet. :smh:
adzerino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you spell 'RAF?'"
BlackSecurity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a girl in my high-school class asked the teacher who wrote the diary of Anne Frank. She sounded serious too, considering no one laughed...
buggy65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was an instructor for Calculus during my grad school years.
This one is a little unfair since it was an exchange student, so I don't really hold it against her, I just remember it as being funny at the time. A problem involving perimeter had the students build a fence of optimal area. She didn't know what a "fence" was, and I had to try and explain it in a way that didn't explicitly tell her which formula to use (I gave them all cheat sheets). It just stuck in my mind as "How the heck do I explain what a fence is?"
One example that I do not feel bad about was not a student, but my ex. I told her I wanted to take a road trip to Alaska, and she was confused on how I could get my car there. She thought Alaska was an island out by Hawaii. She was 23.
-Asymmetric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher and this is teacher asking the question but I thought I would share. When I was a student I remember this conversation trying to explain fractions/decimals between a maths teacher a particularly academically challenged student.
Teacher: What's half 15?
Pupil: I don't know.
Teacher: What's half 14?
Pupil: Pauses ... I don't know.
Teacher: You know what half 14 is. Teacher takes our 14 counters. If you split these counters into two groups of same size how many would be in one group?
Pupil: shakes head
Teacher: In despair Half 14 is just one of those things people know intuitively, like the capital of France.
Pupil: ... Spain?
At this point the class were struggling to hide there bemusement. Kid was 14 years old and this in the UK. Scares me to think that guy and others like him have been able to legally vote for the past decade.
bs13690 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That teacher sounds like kind of a dick. If someone knew it intuitively, it wouldn't have to be taught.
-Asymmetric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a bit of an asshole but he was also a pretty good teacher.
He was just deeply and hopelessly frustrated with the kid. Couldn't seem to grasp simple arithmetic concepts.
corrieh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But this doesn't sound like 2nd grade.
bs13690 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it doesn't. But it's still not the right use of the word intuitively. Also, the capital of France is not something you could know intuitively. So maybe he just doesn't know what that word means.
"You should have learned this a long time ago" would be much more appropriate, IMO. Really, the best thing to do would be figure out after class where the kid is deficient rather than calling him out on it. That's why I made the comment about the teacher being an asshole. It's not the kid's fault that the system let him slide through without knowing basic knowledge.
archangelmlg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in high school biology a kid once asked if you could eat poop as long as it was cooked first.
_KingPuck_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin who's a teacher just posted this:
...Scene: 8th Grade Health class. Topic of discussion: CPR
Student A: "I think you can give CPR to a cow because I saw my uncle give mouth to mouth to a cow once after it was born." Me: ... Student B: "Wait, so if we can't see air, can fish see water?"
Weaverino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm not a teacher but I remember the dumbest question in high school. Background, it was AP World History we were studying the revolutionary war. The kid asks the teacher " Why wasn't there any Air Force in the revolutionary war?" And it blew my mind
weiguxp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why male models?
mattrudinski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was a middle school science teacher -- I always got a kick out of this one: He had a student come up to him in the middle of a test and ask "Sir, what is Torf? It says to write Torf for each of these statements." T or F. There were no kerning or space issues.
Ballsweat-McGee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question was "Why does a falling bowling ball go faster than when it's higher up."
Friend answered "Because the farther you get from earth, the stronger the pull of gravity gets."
elriggo44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school (in the 90s before sex-ed was all about politics) we were split up into boys and girls.
One of the boys in my class asked "if you cut it off will it grow back?"
fresher123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid, just hilarious given the context.
I teach Computing to high school kids aged 11-16. A student asks what Wi-fi stands for? I tell her it doesn't stand for anything, unlike HiFi which stands for High Fidelity. I.E. True to the original sound. Her peer follows up with, "what does infidelity mean then?"
I had to go into the etymology of the word fidelity...Old French and Latin.
_clayten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was Barack Obama ever a slave?"
ThalesCM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why the Dead Sea has a high rate of buoyancy?"
My cousin answered: Because the sea is dead, so if it doesn't have fish, it leaves more room for the boat to float.
Satinsbestfriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heard in sex ed in grade 7 : If your having anal sex and the girl farts can it injure your dick?
StumpedByPlant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a discussion about climate change with a grade 11 geography class last October. Trump came up in the discussion and I asked the class of 28 kids how many knew of Donald Trump and his plans.
2 put their hands up.
I jokingly said, "OK, who has heard of Donald Trump."
2 put their hands up.
Further discussion revealed that those remaining 26 kids were really that out of touch. Too much time buried in cell phones and reading about Selena Gomez or the Kardashians or some shit.
Fuck it was a sad drive home that day.
joe-geddes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in high school (about 15) a girl in my class was talking loudly at the back of class, sounding pretty upset. When the teacher asked her what she was talking about she said
'Miss, can you tell them to stop - they keep saying wolves are real'
So the teacher explained to her that wolves are real. The girl then put her hand up
'So are owls real as well?'
Apparently she thought because owls were in Harry Potter they weren't real
(We live in England...there are lots of owls here)
tallcookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher"/will probably get buried, but I'll never forget the stupidest question I ever heard someone ask.
We were juniors in high school, and a girl in my general level science class asked the teacher why maple syrup wasn't an element on the Periodic Table because, and I quote, "all that's in it is syrup."
He stared at her in silence for a moment until it became clear that she wasn't joking.
We had some real gems in that class, but I'll never forget you, Jade, you dumb, dumb girl.
AroseRisen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one the teacher asked the students a few weeks ago:
"Anyone know who the current vice president is?"
(Silence)
"Me neither someone google it"
defdrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl once asked me, when we got to the final chapter of To Kill a Mockingbird, why they decided to use a talking dog as the main character. In her defense, I had never expressly stated that Scout was not a talking dog.
expostfacto-saurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an online forum that is part of a university level history class, a student spelled HER OWN NAME WRONG in the forums, twice.
amiagrownupyet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid in class try to tell the rest of the students that pineapples grow from the ground. Would not believe me when I corrected him and told him that they grow on trees.
Dabernie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well uh... sorry to break this to you but you may owe that student an apology, they grow very close to the ground, and most definitely not from a large tree like, say an apple.
ExeptionalTuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't call these trees
Ekaceseehc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 6th grade student ask "How did they get to the moon? They launched during the day and the moon is gone during the day. Wouldn't they run into the sun instead?!"
ryan2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was on a tour of Alcatraz prison in high school: "So is there water completely around the island?"
After we took a boat to get there.......
HaileSelassieII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student but:
Someone in my geography class asked "Why is that tree shaped like a tire?"
The professor just laughed and did not answer lol
SuperDuperTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"MR. SUPERDUPERTURTLE, THIS MAP HAS A BAD WORD ON IT!!!"
"...That's pronounced 'Niger'"
allpraisetothebutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when our highschool class took a trip to the observatory and were being given a talk on the solar system by some of the researchers there, one of the girls pointed at the drawing of the solar system and asked "Who took that photo?"
Endyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The quietest kid who doesn't have many friends asked this once... Me: You'll have a sub tomorrow Him: uh like a meatball sub?
codythecoolkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This chick in my social class asked, "how do whales fit in the ocean?" She was serious...
heidrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, not a teacher but I still think about this question from high school 10+ years ago. In my chemistry class we were learning about valence electrons. This involves different layers of orbits of electrons written with different letters that correspond to them. The point is, almost an hour into this class, she writes a valence configuration on the board, something like 2s 3p 4d. This girl in my class raises her hand and says: "But we can't see in 4D, right? Like, we don't have the technology yet?"
Stmuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best friend is a teacher. She was explaining to her high school students that different countries have their own version of sign language, which is why we call ours American Sign Language. A different student overhears and asks "why don't they just speak English?"
This was the same girl who put on a presentation with a map of the U.S. And said "this is a map of the world."
jtjones369222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my buddy and I were in junior year of high school conceptual physics. Basically physics without the numbers so anyway he asked which was closer to earth the sun or the moon for a test question I just cracked up and the teacher asked if he was serious (he was). That teacher used to basically call me and my buddy worthless (and he was being serious) but jokes on that guy cause my buddy makes like 200k a year and I do pretty well for my self to so fuck that guy.
Ylleigg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student best one I ever heard was: sir if an atomic bomb would land at the other end of the court would we be dead? End of the court was about 100-150m far away. Second best one was: wait didn't the romans live in caves?
theguythatmoved ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher but a student asked the professor after melting some tin and lead if the metal is available in other colors
Thatgirlinmath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were discussing the differences between acids and bases in my AP chem class and a student asked if a fish was a base. I'm pretty sure she's about to go to Med school now.
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just this past week:
"Is Los Angeles in California?"
(After reading the selection) "Yoy mean Frederick Douglass was black?"
whygohomie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what did people use before they invented paper towels?
reaper227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one of my classmates in college, an out of state student, argued with my teacher saying, "Are you sure there are 50 states? I believe there are 51."
My teacher, trying not to be rude, said, "I believe there are 50 states in the US, but I will look tonight and have the answer for you tomorrow."
SJU_W4r_H4wk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When learning about ancient civilizations and how walled cities were important to survival one student asks:
"If they walled in the city, how did they get back out?"
"Doors. They built doors."
dranedry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do people drown? Can't they just drink the water?"
Thatonetwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not dumb but definitely random since I didn't talk much in school but I asked how important you have to be before its considered assassination instead of murder. I never got my answer.
Adlehyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a general rule of thumb is if the victim is a politician or public figure and is killed for political reasons, it is generally called an assassination.
Thatonetwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I figured as much but what if it was say a mayor or a county politician? Would that be an assassination or does mostly depend on motive?
Adlehyde ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
motive.
Random asshole shoots the mayor because he's drunk. manslaughter. Random asshole shoots the mayor because the mayor slept with his wife? Murder. Specific asshole shoots the mayor because he's going to run for governor? Technically assassination, especially if paid to do so. Might still get called murder.
Keep going up the chain and you find if anyone were to kill a president, regardless of motive, they would probably call it assassination anyway, even if it's not politically motivated.
Thatonetwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense to me.
Liquid_Wrench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but someone in my class asked this after we were learning about pioneers and settlers. The teacher brought up wood stoves. He asked "wouldn't a wood stove burn?"
Your_socks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a T.A. at a structural engineering faculty, I tasked the students with a simple test on a small 30 cm long steel bar. One of the steps involved weighing the bar on a scale, you wouldn't think anyone would fuck that up.
Later when they handed in their lab form, one student weighed the bar at 6 tons (consider that the average car weighs like 2 tons), I still dont understand how he got that number.
JohnEcastle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, but once had a classmate in high school ask our history teacher if Eskimos were real...
Anthrodiva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A thing of beauty: "How do physical anthropologists handle the skeletons of angels?"
Madame_Patate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English to French high school students. I once had a student ask me how to say Johnny Depp in English.
A girl asked how to say "India" in English, which is not stupid in itself, since the French name for the country is slightly different. We had been talking about India for like two weeks, and the word was written on the white board.
Lars_Ohly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 9th grader once asked me where Norway was on a map of Europe. Im swedish.
An 8th grader stated with full conviction (this was a class about dna and genetics) that people that are born in Sweden automatically become light skinned. The look on her black friends face was priceless.
These are the best (worst) but I get weird questions every week..
Papagrande1121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are way too many when it comes to being a science teacher, but I don't consider them to be dumb questions just misinformed their whole life. Some of my favorite responses every year in biology for 8th graders is when I ask, " What are humans composed of ?" Each year responses are always great they have included ( dirt, ribs, hamburger meat, and chicken....yes chicken)
urboitony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but we were studying space in grade 9 science and about half way through the unit, during a work period, this one girl asked the teacher aloud, "What is the difference between the solar system and the universe?" He just stared in disbelief for a few seconds and then, after making sure she was serious, began slowly explaining it to her with the help of the blackboard.
buttersauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College level biology 2 class. We had been learning the reproductive cycles for plants for about 2 months at this point and this girl just raised her hand and asks "are fruits plants?". The teacher had no idea how to even start the answer to that.
MikeyzP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the last year of my degree, and I'm both surprised and frustrated that people still ask the teacher 'How long does it have to be?' Surely you can use your own discretion now for fuck sake.
mikewj321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was at a week long outdoor camp for 6th graders. We were going on a night hike and were all looking up at the sky. One of the students asked "which one is earth?"
kuzqo96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school in physics we were going over a question that involved a cat burglar. The girl next to me asked, "Why on Earth would someone burgle a cat?"
M4DM1ND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't really a dumb question but a series. I was student teaching in a reading intervention class at a middle school. This class was specially formed for kids who are way below the average reading level. There were three different groups in this class of ranging reading levels. I entered the class late but apparently they were all at the same level when they started so the kids at the higher level were really impressive that they made so much progress. Anyway, I worked with the lowest level the most. These kids 12-13 years old, not special needs, were reading those 5-10 picture books that you'd find in a kindergarten class room. This took them all class and I helped them through every syllable and they had to write little responses after each one. They were asking me how to spell "the" with sincerity. The whole experience was heartbreaking. It wasn't their fault that they weren't exposed to reading early. I could tell most of them came from broken homes and the signs of neglect made me sick. I really bonded with some of those kids and I hope they are doing well.
Also off topic but interesting. One of the kids in the lowest level was a first generation Hmong student and even though he couldn't read or spell very well, he wrote in beautiful cursive. I'm talking like something you'd see on documents from the 17-1800s. It was crazy.
fuckvyron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my 10th grade biology teacher was once explaining that when african babies are born, they're actually not born completely black but a little lighter and develop their skin tone within the first few hours of their life. One guy in my class goes "So if a white couple gets their baby delivered in Africa, does the baby turn black too?"
woohoo725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Now my name is Miss X, but when I get married, I will be Mrs. Y.
Student: ..... How do you knowww???
I was engaged at the time. This was pretty much common knowledge. Also, this was 10th grade.
egotisticalnoob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother once told me a girl in his class said "Wait! Men can't have babies?" This was in like 9th grade, she was really blonde...
XenOmega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why must people kill each other" in a History class on the 20th Century
GriffithSucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I played in a band with a retired college professor. He once had a student in their mid-20s ask "How did the underground railroad deal with all the smoke that would have been trapped in the tunnels?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lady in her early 50s thought that Unicorns were an extinct species. They used to coexist with humans and we used to ride them. She was teaching support.
A lady in her early 20s asked where wood came from. She thought it was man made. Her father was a carpenter.
CrazyMike366 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting in a 200 level engineering class in college (dynamics for what it's worth) and a fellow student asked if it was "fair to assume that gravity actually exists and isn't just something that Newton invented?"
iismitch55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl in high school honestly believed Buffaloes had wings, because of Buffalo Wild Wings.
Shadow_Guard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I took a geology class last semester at my university, and our professor was going over the 8 most abundant elements on earth (oxygen, silicon, etc.) Some guy behind me, probably in his 30s, asked if gold and silver are the 9th and 10th most common elements. Our professor's response was "They are known as 'precious metals' for a reason."
njaeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If a teacher have students asking these types of question, the teacher is not doing a good job.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that makes sense, and he is from Florida where their subway is elevated,which I'm aware of the reason, it was the way he said it that made me think the former.
Monty_Droppings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 8th grade bio class my teacher was talking about the Industrial Revolution and one of my classmates asked "What year did that war occur". She was a nice enough person though.
breakdown1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened twelve years ago during my first year teaching in Miami.
Student 1: Isn't Spain near Canada?
Student 2: No dumbass, that's Maine.
Whole class: hahahahaha
Me: Student 2, it's not nice...Student 1 stop smacking student 2 in the face!
UnclePatche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student in my Italian V class asked where in America Italy was
Seanay-B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one I just answered 5 fucking seconds ago
fallenraziel0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one of the best ones I have heard was during a review session for a test in my Physics 1 class from college. The first test was primarily on kinematics and some other basic physics concepts and towards the end of the session, a student in the back raised their hand and asked "what is velocity?" The room was dead silent for a second, and everyone almost universally turned towards the voice and snickered. I almost felt bad for them except you would literally have to make an effort to be so oblivious to what we were doing in class and homework to not know what velocity was.
shotputprince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, there's water in the air? How come we don't drown... From two separate fucking kids. In Different years
GhostRunner8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally serious question (I'm not the teacher but he told me this) I thought meat was manufactured in the store.
TheBabySphee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"how did people live in the pyramids of gyza"
world history AP class
kelbelle107 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one that springs immediately to mind: Talking to 10/11 year olds about how the sun is a burning ball of gas and in the distant future it'll run out of fuel. Kids replies "why can't we just get in a spaceship and throw some wood at it?" Equal parts ridiculous and hilarious!
TwinkleSchnitzel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time I randomly asked "what was communism?" in some lecture about ancient Chinese government during 7th grade.
Ashfacesmashface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do math people do the math?"
I said "I have no idea" and walked away.
doubleplusgoodful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: not teachers
DoWnhillll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During sex Ed, the teacher was talking about the girls pee hole in their vagina. A classmate asked if it was possible to accidentally stick your dick in their during sex. The teacher goes " well, it's only the size of a pin hole..." ๐, "... so you're the only person who has to worry about that."
calicojak_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I go to a university that has a heavy conservative influence. For those of you that do not know, most of them are die hard patriots. One of them (who has an American flag hanging in his room) proceeded to say "aren't there 52 states ? (Counting Hawaii and Alaska)
EthiopianKing1620 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here. Was in class just a few days ago and finished my book when i pulled out the second one. The girl sitting next to me says, 'why are you always reading?' Doesnt suprise me she is failing english.
finix240 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The stupidest question I get asked a lot is "what time is it?" When there is a clock in the class and the kids have phones with time
CountingCorvids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No actual question, but still hillarious-a student kept mixing up eruption and erection when talking bout volcanoes
held_4ransom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 8th grade science at a public school.
Had a student running around saying loudly "I'm a virgin! I'm a virgin!" And then asked me if I was a virgin too. When I asked what she meant (she's not one of the sexually aware students so I assumed she'd misunderstood something) she says "you know, like it changes depending on what month you were born in."
Ah yes, Virgo.
2u3e9v ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a Pap Smear?
This was during a choir exam.
C-Gi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One kid thought falling stars were actual stars falling into the atmosphere once.
greatthebob38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a "if google was guy" question
HeirOfHouseReyne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a student in my year dared to ask the geography teacher why there were two Pacific Oceans. I don't think she really understood, even when the teacher told her that the one on the left of America and on the right of Asia are the same one. "they're so far from each other!"
hawkael20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not teacher but student who asked stupid question. It was biology class and the teach was talking about DNA. Mentioned that things of the same species share 99.8% or whatever DNA. Well I had this statement pop into my head. "That means we're all practically the same!" Now I was typically regarded as one of the smart students, and also a smart ass. Got honour roll with out trying, that kinda thing. Well my smart ass blurts it out immediately, no filter at all. Teacher is dumb founded by this statement from a top student. Class stares like I'm a potatoe all of a sudden. As soon as I said it I realized how stupid it was. Still feel the shame of that one.
iSmellUnforgivable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me to settle a dispute about whether it was Bing Crosby or Bill Cosby who sang "White Christmas". I swear.
AllThree3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl in my high school senior chemistry class raised her hand mid-lecture and asked the teacher "If I put a jar of mustard in the microwave, will it turn into mustard gas?"
The teacher stared at her for a full five seconds, then turned back to the whiteboard and continued the lecture like nothing happened.
BetterDadThanVader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question, but one that revealed a deep disconnect between the student's upbringing and reality: "Wait, where is space is heaven then?" As a public school high school physics teacher, there were many such questions that had to be handled "delicately".
kaelne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th grade pre-algebra: The teacher was explaining that
negative x negative = positive, and that
negative x positive = negative.
Noticing that he'd skipped one combination, I asked, "but what does positive x positive equal?"
I ended up getting top marks on my AP Calculus exam years later.
0mnica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may sound like a stupid question, but actually, while obvious answer for 6th grade, it accounts for all possible outcomes. A good analytical mind.
kaelne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha thanks, I'd like to think that. It was just a stupid case of not thinking something all the way through.
MagistrateT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a chemistry teacher during a measurement unit, "How long is a meterstick?"
ManicBerzerker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work as counselor in a school system. At our alternative school (school for kids who are behind on credits, and sometimes have discipline problems) every other Friday they let them watch a movie. The teacher told them the could watch the inauguration last Friday after lunch. One student said, "Oh that sounds cool, what's it about?" Had to explain that it was not movie...
hazza86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've unfortunately had loads! Last week a 14 year old asked if there were little people in our heads controlling us.
A few years ago I had a gem of a student. Sixth form science student. Asked how Scotland was going to be separated from the rest of the UK. She genuinely thought if they voted for independence they would be jettisoned off. There were loads from her, but that was the best!
Monkibizness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was subbing for a geometry class, and passed out the student textbooks titled "basic geometry." One student asked me, "what is this book about?" They were halfway through the year.
ironicsharkhada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but freshmen year in history we had to create our own presentations on ancient travel routes. For example I did my on the silk roads. One classmate did hers on the continental railroad. Will never forget that. I remember the entire class just staring wide-eyed at this girl like wtf are you talking about.
-FunkyPotato- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On September 12th, 2001, a kid in my class went on a long rambling speech about how world war three was about to start and it would be Israel and Palestine against everyone else.
Edit: Also a girl in Spanish class once asked the teacher if Spanish people have to translate things into English when they talk to each other 'because mesa doesn't mean table, table means table'. We were merciless.
Captain_Anon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl I went to highschool with genuinely believed that I was lying when I said the Queen lives in England. We are Canadian so she thought she was the Queen of Canada, which is technically true, but she thought these were two different people. Had to get a teacher involved.
murkleton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On Jamie Oliver a whole class of US school kids didn't know what a potato was when shown one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am locksmith at school district. Teachers ask the dumbest questions. Me: your room is almost ready just have to put some locks on your closet Teacher: why does my closet need locks? Me: it doesn't but then the kids will be opening your closet doors then. Teacher: why does my closet need doors? Me:.... it doesn't if your ok with kids walking in and out of your closet space. Teacher: I'm not ok with that. Me: then we're going to need some doors and locks on your closet.
Also had a science teacher insist that there are only 45 possible key combinations - yes in the world, because 9x5 = 45. The real formula is closer to 10 to the power of 6 and then multiply that by about 80
Gelderland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in 8th grade social studies class, I was explaining to a field that Mexico was not in South America but right under the United States. She then asked what countries were in South America, then proceeded to say "well if there's a North America and a South America, shouldn't there be a Middle America?"
InquisitiveMonkeyGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was in an 8th grade Sex Ed class where the teacher told us to ask any questions, no matter how vulgar, to clear up any misconceptions we may have. One kid immediately asked, "If I came on the couch and then the cat sat in it, would the cat get pregnant?" The rest of the class had some fun on his behalf after that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another student in my Senior year "Advanced" U.S. Government class in high school asked "Why don't we just like, buy Mexico?"
iccirrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like their dad owns a dealership.
derpages ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has America been in any wars -10th Grader
roccosrant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 11th grade student ask if plants were meat because peanuts came from plants and they had a lot of protein in them.
thebabybear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in one of my materials and processes exams a student went up to the front of the class and asked the teacher for the formula for the area of a circle.
Worst part is it wasn't even relevant to the exam.
kabes811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a history teacher from NY who taught in FL for one year. One of my students in FL asked if I was going to my home country for Christmas.
wholligan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach Microbiology.
I was explaining the difference between obligate anaerobes (require oxygen), obligate anaerobes (cannot tolerate oxygen), and facultative anaerobes (will respire with oxygen, but switch to fermentation in the absence of oxygen).
Student: "Are dolphins facultative anaerobes?"
I should point out that this was a college class, for nursing students.
Neqsis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I once I was on a road trip with a friend and she asked serious as day, "What is the point of these 'Do Not Pass' signs? I mean you have to drive past them... They're right next to the road"
I quickly became uncomfortable with the fact that she was the one driving.
danny_sucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a classmate of mine in an advanced placement biology course asked "so do sharks do the amphibious thing?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classmate once asked our teacher "When the tide goes out, where does the water go?"
doubleplusgoodful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tide goes in; tide goes out: can't explain that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:40 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It goes "into" the ocean. She thought it either evaporating or got sucked into the earth temporarily... xp
Amplifier101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Chem lab advisor, one student asked me "how do i know when it is boiling?"
Spawnbroker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching one of the first days of Computer Science class and was talking about Ada Lovelace. I asked the students how it was possible that Ada Lovelace was writing code decades before the digital computer was invented.
When nobody responded, I asked: "How is that possible? Was Ada Lovelace a time traveler?" as a joke.
One of my students piped up "Whoa, time travel exists?!?!"
cvsully ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a kid who once asked "What color is the equator?" and was dead serious.
DinglesRip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher. However, in freshman geography class, the teacher was explaining how difficult it was to build the panama canal and a classmate of mine asked, "how come they didn't just build a bridge"?
I then told her why a bridge wouldn't work for ships. She then looked at me like I was stupid and explained to me with her arms how the ships would just go under the bridge.
pantheman75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My career highlight: "Do I put my name where it says name?"
embii42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HIgh School - We were looking at a map of North America. The US and Canada is plainly laid out, but ALaska & Hawaii are in little inserted boxes.
For senior year, I suggested we do a road trip through Canada to Alaska , we live in California. Response: But Alaska is an island, how do we get there? I thought it was a joke...I had to have it explained to me. Apparently because Alaska is in a lil box on the map like Hawaii it mUST be an island.
ryapric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach corporate finance for an MBA program. I had a student ask me via email last week, if they needed to complete 100% of the online homework questions in order to get 100% on the homework assignment itself.
togaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade Ten class, 13-14 year olds, examining the events leading to the outbreak of WW1, specifically the chapter in the book called "The Steps to War".
"OK class. This Friday is your quiz on The Steps to War"
"Whats the quiz on though?"
"...the steps to war...?"
"Yeah, but whats on it?"
"...the steps to war...?"
"but what should we study?"
"...the steps to war...?"
"OK but what topic will it cover?"
"...the steps to war...?"
Every. Damn. Semester.
edited for clarity and add details for folks who don't teach history.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know what this means. A quiz on events and situations that frequently lead to war? Or how to officially declare war?
precious_little_pig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What are male ladybugs called?"
jswilson64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a student, but... My home telephone rings.
Me (college TA): Hello
Caller: Hello? Is this /u/jswilson64, the TA at (university)?
Me: Yes... ?
Caller: Hi, I'm (student)'s mother, and can you explain why (student) got a C in your class?
(I'm the TA, all I do is conduct discussions and grade multiple-choice quizzes, oh, and answer questions from students, of which her kid never asked any)
willi_con_carne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid but a bit weird "can you get pregnant in space" that was today in a year 10 (14/15 y/o) GCSE biology class
XeroNoOnesHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Year 10 History class, discussing World War 2: "Is Japan in Canada?"
Udis6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not teacher but my friend is. Once at a biology class one student asked: "why doesnt my dick get hard?".
jacksrwild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College freshman course on human sexuality. Upon learning about "contraceptive jelly," a female student got some and ate it on toast to prevent getting pregnant.
Mansapencil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one of my classmates once asked our history teacher if the atomic bombs were dropped accidentally.
IronMikeWallace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid, who had been calling me Mr.______ all year asked me what my last name was
argeddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but as a freshman in political science many years ago, I asked a professor if dรฉtente (day-taunt was his pronunciation in class) was the same thing as dรฉtente (day-tentay was my pronunciation based on the reading).
Wow, I was a moron.
catmoles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a TA for an undergraduate organic chemistry class, I had a student ask me where to get dry water.
Muffinking15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in GCSE geography (14-16) my teacher unexpectedly discovered that basically half the class didn't know what continents were, she proceeded to explain and was then asked "Are India and Russia close to each other?"
My teacher promptly pointed to a world map saying "Well Russia is here, and India is all the way down here" to which the girl asking responded with "So they are close then?"
asylumsaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in 2nd grade I had an argument in the middle of class with my teacher because I refused to believe Alaska was bigger than Texas. She had to stop the lesson and spent 20mins proving it to me. I think I was even starting to make other class mates question it. I honestly thought that Texas was the biggest state.
CenTrrikK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dive Instructor here: I had a student ask me if jellyfish are a real thing and really just 'ghost of some fish'. Found out that his uncle taught him that jellyfish are ghosts of dead fish being trapped underwater. I loved afterwards with him about that and he called his uncle straight after the emergency skill lesson. I can't imagine the uncles reaction after his 23 year old nephew called him up and revealed that he learned the truth about bloody jellyfish!
TROLL_CALIBER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I saw a meme on facebook saying WW3 is starting, is this true"
From a grade 10 social studies advanced student...
JeeroyIV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student in my class wanted to know if Canada was part of Ohio, but in lieu of sounding dumb she convinced her friend to ask for her. Neither of them genuinely knew that Canada was infavt, not part of Ohio.
ewokseatfree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: "Do you use reddit during class?" Me: "No. Never!" (Straight lie)
MrsLCooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pupil asks "Miss, can I borrow a pen?" Said pupil is already holding pen.
Voidwarlock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my Honors US History 1 class a student asked if groundhogs were dangerous.
iccirrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair they can be dangerous, although indirectly. Their burrows can be hard to spot in fields and can easily lead to broken ankles/legs if you're not careful. It's a bit more of a threat to livestock in any case
floppyjellyfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
Thunderballer007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember back in middle school, a girl in my class asked the teacher if earthquakes could shake the sky...
godsdirtybeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Band student: Can we play it backwards?
MisterMysterios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but something that happend during university classes.
We discussed the elements of fraud (so, what have to be done to get convicted of fraud) and used the example of tanking gas without paying. In Germany, fraud is when you influence the conciouseness in order to gain something (it is a little bit more complicated, but enough for this story). After that, he tried maybe 20 minutes to explain the teacher how a gasstation (the maschine, not the one on the counter) could have a conciouseness that could be influenced.
KotWmike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking a company training class about document control and the instructor kept referencing RFIs. I raised my hand and said "What's an RFI"? to which he replied, "You just made one".
britblam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was explaining to a class of 7th graders the difference between academic databases and Google. One of the kids asks, "Wait, but if we can't use Google, how do we get to the databases?"
I had a sudden, overwhelming realization that I had to back up and explain the difference between the internet and Google with 3 minutes left till the bell.
NightTimeElk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow.. I feel like I'm floating on top of the gene pool after reading these ๐๐
Lewyso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 9th grader said 'Turtles are mammals right?' The other kids in his group looked at him in shock. I just walked away.
Not a question, but a funny/sad story. A student said something about a human and a donkey could make a baby and it would be called a 'honkey'. I told him that it wasn't true and he said he saw it on the internet. Cue impromptu sex ed lesson. In the same class period, a female student said that men who have sons have 'strong' sperm and men who have girls 'weak' sperm. This got us back to the genetics, which was the original lesson.
After hearing about how the cold makes you sick 5 times in one day, I wrote 'You do not get sick from being outside in the cold.' Every period a student comes in and says 'Really?' and I elaborate and they seem to understand for the most part. One student said I was wrong. That's cool. Her F in biology is looking good right now.
NEMSBrewer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey Mr. NEMSBrewer, I can't remember: is morning "am" or "pm"?
Note: I teach high school sophomores.
zp797 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in culinary school we were making sausage and the recipe called for hog casings. One guy asked the instructor if he could use pork casings instead.
OzzyGeelv99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey teachers, do you guys even react to these moronic questions or do you try your hardest to keep a blank stare?
reasonone44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't a student, but a fellow teacher at a meeting: Who's going to work this Saturday for Saturday school when it's the Democratic caucus?
Principal: The Republicans.
meownna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but as a veterinarian I've had a few clients question the sex of their male pet because he has nipples. Sir... Do YOU have nipples?
State10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach undergrad at a fairly large University, between classes I was discussing Game of Thrones with a couple students. One complained that it was too graphic...the other corrected her by saying "It has to be graphic, they need to maintain historical accuracy, thats how it was back then". I walked away before asking them what year they thought Dragons existed in. (not really a question, but one of the worse statements I've heard in awhile from a student)
jes248 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, not a teacher but this was too funny to not share, even if I'm late.
Intro to Biology, the prof. was discussing the mechanisms that prevent species from interbreeding. He gives the mule as an example of being a sterile hybrid and mentions something about zebra/horses too and how those hybrids are facilitated by humans and wouldnt happen in nature...
"So what does a horse think when it sees a zebra?"
Prof. keeps a straight face trying to understand what the guy meant, but he kept asking what either animal thought of the other. He ends up telling the kid to talk to an animal behavior specialist.
I laugh about it still.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another teacher asked it. We were both taking a course on assessment development, and I used a term, which I've forgotten already, that refers to the situation that the assessment is meant to emulate. We've said it multiple times in class since the beginning of the semester, and it was introduced in the first chapter of our textbook. One day late in the semester I was paired with her to work on a project, and I used the term. "What's [term]?" I explained it to her calmly, but once we were done with the meeting, I split from the group.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait- So, if our skin were green, we wouldn't need to eat anymore?"
robstad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is hydrochloric acid an acid or a base?
The_Bovine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my coworkers had a kids ask, "If the parents are straight, how can they have a kid who's gay?" This was from a high school freshman.
DrSmeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but another student in my high school geography class once deadpan seriously asked during a lesson about the rainforest how big the trees were there and the teacher replied by telling her and she replied by asking "so how long would it take to walk around it then? Like years?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do I bring up my grade?
Turn in your work, you heathen!!!!
beastly45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but it was a question that might have turned into the funniest thing I had seen all year in Bio 12. So we were on the circulatory system test and in this certain one for some reason he just let us use anything we could find for resources to find the answers for it. Call it an open book test I guess. Ok so he tells us to start, we aren't allowed to talk still so it's really quiet in the class. I then see this girl who raises her hand to ask the teacher a question. At this point it was probably 30 mins into the test. So I then hear her ask why she wasn't finding any answers or anything even about the subject to the test in her textbook, but I then hear the teacher say to her "You have been looking in the Arthropods section my dear." Took all of me not to burst out laughing.
LordSnow1119 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I had a classmate ask which continent Asia was in a history class. Worst part was she was born and raised in South Korea. On a similar note a different student in a different class once asked which state of the U.S. Asia was and where Japan was in that state.
michiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught ESL to high schoolers for a while, so most of mine are language based.
I had a student my very first day walk in, sit in the front row, then say "Wait, no, I can't sit here, I'm too high!" He then promptly moved to the back. (He meant tall - same word in Chinese.)
I had another student, in the middle of an exam, ask me what grass was.
I had students in my history class who were unable to find China on a map.
Lanre_The_Chandrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my chemistry class asked our teacher "hey coach Bates, can me melt?", there was an awkward silence and then we all started laughing
Graceae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AP World History at a Magnet School. Dead serious not joking, when talking about U-Boats during WWI "Is this when they discovered Atlantis was discovered?" Every now and again I get a crazy conspiracy kid. She was one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's a continent"? 17 year old girl who later became a prostitute.
ginger_cow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I recall senior year of high school in one of my classes a girl a few seats over asked "can notebooks sweat" this was after lifting up her notebook and finding a little bit of water on the desk which was from the condensation of her water bottle right next to her notebook.
Raneshon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my Geography 12 class we were looking at a map of BC and one of the girls asked "What's Kelwanna?" It was the city of Kelowna she was referring to.
AUSTRALIA_IS_MADE_UP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid once ask how far away Narnia was. I had to tell him Narnia is not a real place, it only exists in fiction like Camelot, Middle Earth, or Australia.
J_T_C_R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was asked "If I put a grape inside a woman's passage hole will it stop pregnancy?"
russkahle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Told my students that I have colorblind problems with blue and purple, not a second later a student stands up in a blue shirt, "So, you can't see me?!"
overwinter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait... Don't rocks just grow out of the ground?"
chrysteboner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school honors class. We were discussing the sun's temperature when a student asked what the temperature of the sun was at night. Smh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3 months into an electronics technician course on transmission line theory. This was during a discussion on the use of an air dryer to prevent moisture and thus corrosion in waveguides.
Idiot: Raises hand
Instructor: Yes, Idiot?
Idiot: I'm confused, how do they get the water waves into the waveguides?
Instructor: Yes, you are confused. Stop by my office after class.
Waveguide explanation for the uninitiated. But basically a waveguide is a metal tube who's purpose is to transfer electromagnetic signals in much the same way as a fiber optic cable does. Waveguides are used for frequencies where a wire is becoming inefficient but the wavelength is still too big for fiber optic cables.
castilllayleon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow classmate (8/9th grade) asks, "Madagascar? Is that where Finding Nemo was filmed?"
tulip_girl100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't ask a teacher this but when I was younger, for a period of time, I thought that the earth spun so fast that by the time it did one revolution and we had spun around with it we wouldn't notice because of its speed. Whoopsie
TROLL_CALIBER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember there was a similar thread with that one story about the really dumb kid.
ForHoiPolloi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my seventh grade history teacher asked us how many days were in a year. I was banging my head on the desk by the time the teacher let me answer. 365 except every fourth year it is 366.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In first year animal diversity biology class at University...So what type of animal are bacteria?
__TR-8R__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask, "Who was the president who got stuck in the bathtub?" And before I could say the correct answer (Taft) he said with the most sincere face. "Oh, it was Tubman right? Harriet Tubman?"
Babe_Vigoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does continental drift affect language change?
mathaiser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory Bad Santa Quote.
"How could they drop me on my head on my own head?"
"God damnit! Are you fuckin with me?!?"
Avogadro101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cue the story of Kevin.
RainbowNightWind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College Student here - I witnessed this last quarter. In my anthropology class we were discussing what techniques in which we should study for our upcoming midterm. Our instructor was telling us after reading the required chapter, to look at the glossary and review terms talked about in the chapter (pretty self explanatory).
A student raises his hand and asks, "can we just look at the glossary to do well on the exam?"
My instructor kind of dumbfounded goes, "that is the stupidest question I have ever heard.. maybe I misheard it, can you repeat your question?"
And he elaborates, "Instead of reading the chapter, can I just look at the glossary to do well on the exam?"
My teacher says, "Yep, stupidest question I have ever heard."
During this whole conversation, the class started laughing and then gets progressively more quiet the more we realize the guy is serious.
Raptorsquad_blue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Senior year of high school my favorite burn out stoner argued that mice don't eat seeds, they eat cheese
Shilvahfang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait, this is math?"
After 45 minutes of test review. 6th grade.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Latin class:
"What do you mean the Roman Empire spoke Latin? I saw Gladiator and everybody was speaking English!"
amiagrownupyet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That has to be photoshopped.
Coogaar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In High School in the late 90s in the US, so DARE (drug education program) was a thing for most of my school life. High school biology class, we're doing a unit on the human body, at this point measuring heart rate, breathing rate, etc. at rest, after light exercise, and after heavy exercise. One of the girls in our group has numbers substantially above everyone else's after exercise, and couldn't complete the lap around the building for strenuous.
As we're comparing the results she says: "I smoke a lot. Like a lot. Do you think that could affect my breathing?"
jrd5497 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College level electro-physics class. Guy shouts out and says, and I quote "Ey doc, where do the positive electrons go?"
TheJTizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a kid ask me once .. "Is labor day the day all the baby cows are born?"
Steffaldo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher just a witness.
Short back story, this girl is your text book star pupil. Excelling in all tests and is now studying medicine in a top university.
Were in geography class, last year of highschool and out of the blue comes this very brave question....
"Do islands float"?
The teacher couldn't contain himself
"No....no they don't".
Revyrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher ....but in grade 9 science class a girl asked our teacher. And I quote "Mr. Roberts, does water die?" full on sincerity....to which the class erupted in laughter.
MegaDustBuster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I remember the dumbest thing a classmate has ever said. It was Sophomore year of high school, and we were in an AP World History class at school..... so the kids were SUPPOSED to be smart. It was the day after Osama Bin Laden was killed, and we were talking about it for a solid 15 minutes before a girl raised her hand and goes, "Who's Osama Bin Laden?"
My teacher's immediate reaction was to laugh, so he laughed for a solid 5 seconds, realizes she's not laughing, then immediately goes stone face and goes, "Wait, are you serious?"
He then explained who Osama Bin Laden, the USA's most wanted criminal, was just for her lol.
ws_soundguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is that the iceberg that sank the titanic?"
"What's porcelain?"
This is in an ap class. Said by the same student.
suhayma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student drop a bag of weed on the floor of my classroom. I picked it up and had to call the SRO and an administrator to come and get the weed and the student.
Student asked if he could have the weed back.
WeAreGuardians ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in R.E class we were on Judaism learning about Rabbis and this guy said "You know those rabby things? I thought rabies were bad"
Colin_Hicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my middle school Spanish class I asked how to say taco in Spanish..
WrathfulNarwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I overheard this one a few years ago when one of my buddies was talking to a girl in our chemistry class about evolution, and specifically the big bang. Her reasoning for why the big bang isn't possible was:
"Look at my iPad, do you really think a bunch of bits exploded and then combined into an iPad or did someone put it together?"
My buddy just nodded and then we all had a good laugh about it later
TheJTizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck it, I post all the crazy shit I hear at school on this twitter account. Prob. have a few laughs if you check it out. https://twitter.com/spedinsight
Keyseki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first week of teaching, a student asked me "It was so nice to sing a birthday song for Paul. When is my birthday?" 10 years old.. Something was not quite right :P
Gucci_money_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in high school we were reading To Kill A Mockingbird and when we finished it we were discussing the book and my friend raised his hand and asked if boo Radley was a ghost
simmerdesigns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like the story of Kevin is an appropriate tangent here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a kid asked if two people in my class liked each other.
They were in the corner hugging and have been dating for two years.
A_Bridgeburner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Not a teacher) but a girl in my grade 10 Canadian history class asked, "what's a Jew and are there any left?"
Teacher was Jewish.
cooltrain7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student I know what the stupidest thing was. I walked up to the front of the class in year 8 English (UK), and asked the teacher, "What are those snow globe things called !?"... "Snow globes ?".
annabel-leigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a girl in my 10th grade history class once asked "Why don't we ever see the other side of the map?"
I_like_a_bit_of_tit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not at teacher but was in sex ed back in the day and a classmate of mine asked why do men have nippes if we can't make milk? The whole class started laughing
Beorthbar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my grade 9 year asked myself (Caucasian) and a friend (Jamaican- Canadian) if different "coloured" guys ejaculated different colours. Before my friend could tell her no, I told her that all guys came the colour of their skin. She believed me, we both laughed a lot, but then we couldn't convince her otherwise for a long time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister is an English teacher at a community college in Minnesota. She's in her mid-40s. Students are mostly late teens and early 20s.
I forget the context, but somehow the class was talking about America's military history. A student asked her if she remembered Pearl Harbor.
Her answer was golden: "Dear child, my parents don't remember Pearl Harbor!"
aquamarine271 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember this very well from 5th grade. We were watching an old movie one day at school. The movie was in black & white. At the end of the movie one of my fellow students seriously asked if the world used to be black and white, and when was color invented?
Orthonut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In large animal anatomy in vet school, I was a student tutor. I was in the practical lab one day holding about five or six pieces of a shattered horse femur, just imagining that if it were possible to fix these how I would have done the surgery Etc.
One of my fellow students (a "jenius with the less common J spelling") walked up and asked me what it was. I told her it was a horse femur. She replied oh no did he make it?
*crickets *
I was like well considering I'm holding the jagged pieces... I don't think so.
DinosKellis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a preparation for the listening exam, I had a student ask me if he can listen to music during the test.
gayspacecommie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, and not quite a question, but:
11th grade APUSH class. Discussing how the U.S. has Guantanamo bay on Cuba.
Kid 1: Guantanamo is where they do waterboarding, right?
Kid 2: My family and I went waterboarding on lake tahoe last summer! Cuba must have great beaches for it.
tl;dr: kid doesn't know that wakeboarding and waterboarding are not the same thing.
Mia012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In class we were discussing the hole in the ozone layer. Some girl blurts out "Oh! That is the hole that the space shuttle flies through, right?"
cranialflux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever a student raises their hand and asks me a question that was asked by another student less than 5 minutes ago.
Bonus: the most imaginative excuse for late homework I ever heard: "It was my birthday yesterday, my parents drove me out of town to celebrate, but they got too drunk to drive me back on time".
ralevin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a teacher, but this wasn't a student.
When my sister and I were teenagers, I told her a joke about the space agency of a specific country (who had a stereotype of producing stupid people). There's buildup to it, but one guy wants to send a manned mission to the sun, and when presented with the "it's too hot" argument, he responds, "We'll go at night."
Sister laughed hysterically for a solid 7-8 seconds, pauses, and says, "wait...where does the sun go at night?"
RajaGemini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
im not a teacher but in one of my seminars at university the teacher was explaining our next assignment and this guy put his hand up and asked if it was compulsory.. yeah if you want to pass retard
CamImmaculate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I am late to this and I am not a teacher but I think what I heard deserves to be near the top. I had a friend once ask if the penis needed to be in the vagina for conception to occur. Middle school sex ed, it doesn't get any more real.
Mlc5015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school AP US history a girl asked why the state of Chicago was so small, then argued with the teacher that it was a state for 5 minutes, explaining how her moms family was from that state and he didn't know what he was talking about. I'm still not sure she was convinced, and sadly scored higher than me on the AP exam. She's probably a lawyer now.
Younger_the_Elder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct saying is "there are no stupid questions, only stupid people that ask questions."
But seriously, most "stupid" questions I've been asked in teaching situations start with "why don't they just"....
TPG_Sharty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to my cousin :
"Mrs.Teacher, is it really true that people farted in to glasses during plague?"
Student in 8th grade. No joke.
eternalsunshine325 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few years back I was sitting through training for my new job as a mattress salesman. We were talking with the reps for Simmons beds and the guy made an off handed comment about 'his friend Dr. Scholls'. A few minutes goes by and this girl raised her hand and asked "Is Dr. Scholls really a friend of yours?"
Now keep in mind that this is the same girl who, when we went around the room introducing ourselves and telling something interesting about ourselves, told the class 'I really miss my dog right now, even though she is on her period'.
trudge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why can't I find photos of dinosaurs on the internet?"
alimaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I was full of questions. As kids are at a young age, they think that their elders have it all figured out already. Asking questions, for me, was my way of filling in the gaps so I could eventually be "one of Them". I remember one particular family outing when I was about 5. My dad was driving and something caught my attention. I don't recall the subject but I recall parts of the exchange that followed. Me: "Why do [leaves change color or something]?" Dad: "Do you have to constantly ask stupid questions?" Mom: [Dad's First Name]! How else do you expect him to learn things?! To us, he just got here!" I've only just realized why I was so quiet from then on with car trips alone with my dad. I have my own kids now. I've never once dismissed one of their questions as being "stupid". In fact, it turns out that they keep asking questions that I never got around to asking. My favorite response is: "I don't know! Let's see if we can find out." As it turns out, even being in my 50's, I have a lot to learn.
dpmallon92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in an honor history class in 10th grade, a girl in my class asked if air killed people.....yes she was being totally serious, decided to name herself and a friend after that "the dumb squad"
Long_Live_The_Queen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach a junior/senior Sociology elective. I was teaching about deviance and the criminal justice system. I had a student ask, "how long does a life sentence last?"
lavahot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While taking a pattern recognition course, after the professor mentioned the phrase I asked, "What is 'out-of-plane rotation'?" I had never felt more stupid by the glares of my peers than ever before.
marnues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT, teachers laughing at students because their parents are idiots.
IREQUIREPROOF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a sophomore in high school, I shared a class with a senior. He was your typical football jock, dumb as a rock type of guy. Anyways the class was environmental science and somehow we started talking about a caribou (don't ask). I can tell this kid has no idea what that is and as I am about to ask him, he looks up at the teacher and says "Hey! Does a caribou have two legs or four?" The teacher paused for about 10 seconds, quietly laughed and shook his head. Told the kid "Im gonna let you find that one out yourself" and walked away. I was trying so hard not to laugh in his face
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
clearing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:46:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The Republic of Texas was an independent sovereign country in North America that existed from March 2, 1836, to February 19, 1846." - Wikipedia
(By the way, I do not come from Texas.)
gregorish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's true! There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
thedude473 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my honors biology class was unaware that humans are mammals until sophomore year of high school. She proceeded to be valedictorian.
Tusuitenow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At University, I was a master degree student and friend with an hearing-impaired student whom had a sign language interpreter. This interpreter was particularly cute and interesting to watch sign the whole lecture. At the end of it, another student came straight to her and asked if she was also hearing-impaired. She was nice enough to not laugh when the guy realised it was a stupid question.
clearing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since you wrote "earing-impaired" twice, I thought I should let you know that should have an 'h' in front of it.
Tusuitenow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you ! English is not my first language as you can see. I will try to correct it.
AndrewBotwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
We were watching videos about JFK. His assassination was showed, not the TV version either. Right after he gets shot in the head the girl next to me asks "OH MY GOD, WAS HE OK?!?"
She wasn't the sharpest light bulb in the toolbox.
Stmpnksarwall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not asked of me, but in my presence: We were touring a medical college that happens to be founded & run by Seventh Day Adventists. Along the tour we pass the chaplain's office (complete with a little wooden cross", and the tour leader mentions the chaplain often invites students to join him for "worship". One of the 12th graders raised her hand and asked, "Who DO you worship?" You could totally see the guy trying to figure out if she was bullshitting him. "...Jesus. We worship Jesus..."
Timpontiac19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my bio class asked if you can get pregnant if you swallow. Teacher responded by saying it can't get from your mouth to your vagina.
Nevermore98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a senior in highschool. I was doing a projet in my zoolgy class where we had the fun task of designing a zoo. It was a fun project but there was this one girl in my group that constantly asked dumb questions. My favorite was: "Are parrots birds?"
Sergeio24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fellow student once asked if the Battle of Lexington took place outside on Lexington Avenue in Manhattan
Ermali4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physics teacher was explaining to us connection of temperature and kinetic energy(don't remember exactly) and as an example she was spining the spoon on tea cup clockwise(random choice) while telling us that this helps cool down the tea.One of my classmates asked her if the tea gets hotter if we spin the spoon counterclockwise.
JacobeyWitness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but this is the stupidest question any of my classmates have ever asked. "Are pizzas long?"
CHEIVIIST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student in chemistry class asked if drinking D2O (heavy water) could help him bulk up faster. Heavy water is sort of harmless in small doses but if about 30% of normal water in the body was replaced with heavy water it could be fatal.
RFCwhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This wasn't a dumb question per say but more of a creative answer, which could be another Reddit question for teachers. I was teaching my class about the 3 branches of the federal government, more specifically the Judicial System. One question on the homework was "How does a case get to the Supreme Court?". One student only wrote down, "We started from the bottom, now we here", which is correct, in a manner of speaking. (He got full points)
ty_bombadil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid as much as sad. Young, reasonable intelligent freshman girl. After discussing the dangers of ISIS/ISIL, she was legitimately confused when asking "I don't understand why they are angry at Obama, isn't he Muslim too?"
Had to both inform while also steering whole class away from a political conflict.
Fionaxoxo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher or anything but in our high school, probably about year 9 they brought all the year in to the hall and played us an old BBC (spoof) documentary of how spaghetti grew on trees, this video shown people picking it off trees and being deadly serious that this is where it came from.
The teachers didn't say anything and I'm not even sure why they shown us this video, I'm sure there were a few people that did believe the video to be true.
RagPoet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my wife's 1st grade students asked how to spell PBS.org.
Saint947 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was telling class about how there were three golf balls on the moon, when the class ditz goes "NU UHHH! NO WAAAY"
As the rest of the class says, yes, there are, she asks "How hard did Tiger Woods have to hit them?!?"
WhatUnicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.. But i once had a class mate that in history (we were having lessons about 14-1500) who raised her hand after our teacher said that Columbus encountered america in 92, and asked if it where (in all seriousness) 1992? ... I died a bit inside.
kguenett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question but this happened when I was a high school student and it was one of my funniest moments. We were learning about current flow and the "right hand rule" and some kid asked if there is any such thing as a left hand rule. I chimed in, "your left hand rule if if you sit on it long enough it feels like a stranger's doing it"! Got the whole class to crack up. Oh good times.
HypatiaRising ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a Teacher.
While learning about the Revolutionary war freshman year of highschool, a girl in my class asked why Americans marched to Valley Forge instead of just using Jeeps. When everyone was laughing (many of us thought she was joking at first) she got kinda mad and insisted that it is stupid to march and cost all those lives when you have Jeeps.
Her question was written on the board and stayed there for the rest of the year. I'd like to believe it is still there today.
Magicalyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If I cut out my own eye, can I be like Fetty Wap?"
Chem2Hard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student in my college junior chem course for chem majors asked the teacher if Thorium was a metal. To be fair he misheard the professor that caused a confused him but still doesn't stop it from being funny and stupid.
Best part is that he's my roommate so it gets brought up every so often for giggles.
Death_Star_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In college we were having an ethics debate on GMOs and some guy raised his hand and asked "well what about boneless chicken wings? How cruel is that?"
MessyBarrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked once in high school where cows were from in the wild. Everyone including my teacher looked at me like a complete idiot. I never did the research cause I don't care THAT much but... they weren't just born in captivity though.
techiejames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All through elementary, middle, and high schools, I was told that there are no stupid questions. Then I became an adult, and started working retail. Yes, there are stupid questions, especially when I am in my uniform with a vest on, and there is a big logo on the back of the vest, my name badge on the front, and I have hand-held electronic work tools in my hands.
lucalu99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a middle school Spanish teacher (it's level 1 high school Spanish slit over 7th and 8th grade) and a 7th grader asked "how do you say taco in Spanish"
SteamScout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While studying the amendments to the Constitution in 12th grade the girl behind me raised her hand and said, "Wait, is it still illegal to sell alcohol because people still do it anyway."
Pawn315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not myself a teacher, but while I was in school, a high school girl asked "Martin Luther? Isn't that the guy who freed the slaves?" when covering the Protestant Reformation in a world history class. It just has multiple layers of completely wrong to marvel over.
The teacher kept a huge corkboard with inspiring historical quotes pinned up on it. He put that up there as one of the saddest, funniest things he had ever heard. He was kind enough to wait until after she was out of the class and he didn't cite the student, but those of us from the class knew.
thebestshowonturf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a 10th grade report on an American icon, one of my students wrote about how Doug Glanville was the first African American to play in the MLB.
ryuzaki49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/NoStupidQuestions would like a word with you...
stephamania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school a kid finally found out that unicorns weren't real. He then proceeded to ask if that meant that penguins weren't real either.
singlerider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On hydroelectric dams:
"Why don't they make them waterproof?"
I still have no fucking idea what he was getting at
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask why I don't send out daily reminders on when homework is due. This was in the 2008 to 2011 millennial crowd undergrad class. The 2008-2011 millennials were a PIA to teach. One of the most entitled group I've ever taught. My reviews were filled with 'why so much homework', 'never reminded us when it was due', 'never offered extra credit', etc. etc. etc. Even had one complain that he was always late because I started class on time. WTF?
Somewhere around 2012, the millennials switched back to taking responsibility for their actions. I think the younger group was tired of the poor rep they were getting from the older group. Maybe they should have a dance off.
TheHornGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, while teaching a sex ed class, I had a kid ask me if girls got pregnant by receiving anal from another girl.
shurimashuffler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While discussing how poor russia was in the early 1900's a student asked "if russia was so poor how did they start the holocaust?" The entire class was stunned
quinpon64337_x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
little brother and i were watching one of the bush/gore election debates when he turned around and asked me if the president was the president of the USA or the entire world.
he was 15.
ziggirawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But when I was in middle school, I didn't do any assignments. Like, at all. For years. 0.0 GPA boyyyyyyyy. Depression and ADHD will do that to a person. Come halfway through 8th grade, it turns out I've only been promoted because of standardized test scores, and I don't actually have the credits from passing certain classes to go to high school. So I have to retake a bunch of 6th, 7th, and 8th grade classes I had technically failed.
This leads to me having to retake 6th and 7th grade sex ed, AKA the only "classes" I had done any assignments for in the last 3 years. No joke, I had more completed classwork in sex ed than any other class over a 4 year period. So I'm in 7th grade sex part deux, and we're learning about STDs. It's question time, and this kid in the back who is typical bully who doesn't pay attention genuinely raises his hand and speaks the words, "I heard if you don't use it, you lose it. Is that true?"
This kid honestly thought that if he didn't have sex, his dick would fall off. The sex ed teacher tried to be respectful and give some answer about gangrene, but after she left the science teacher flat out said "there are no stupid questions, but that was a stupid question."
It's kind of sad honestly. We've created a culture so obsessed with sex and it making us cool that 12 year olds are worried they have to fuck everything in sight or their dick will fall off. Gee, maybe if every single TV show wasn't about getting laid...
ramandur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not from a student but one of the dumbest questions ever asked by a politician https://youtu.be/cesSRfXqS1Q
Runiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been teaching for awhile, and there's only one kind of stupid question to me. It's the one that I've already provided the answer to multiple times and is asked by someone that isn't putting in effort or paying attention. "What time does the class meet?" Did you read the course homepage, your email, your schedule, the online syllabus, or watch my welcome video? I've literally provided that information in 10 different places. You could have done almost anything within the class landing page and found the answer.
meowcat187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every semester: Do I have to buy the book?
SaKage96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my college bio class the other day, the teacher was exploring cellular respiration and he said "So you're saying we breathe out ATP?" Not the stupidest but threw me for a loop.
NotClever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but a kid in my class in freshman biology had 2 zingers:
1) when talking about photosynthesis, while the teacher was explaining that all life flows from the sun's energy, the kid asked if we could just put a giant flashlight in space to replace the sun if it went out.
2) when talking about genetics, the teacher was explaining how varied DNA is by explaining that a man would never produce two sperm with the same exact set of DNA in it (this could be slightly off, I don't recall precisely), and the kid asked "so like, even if you whacked off every second of every day for your entire life, you'd never make one that was the same?" He actually caused the teacher to skip the reproduction section of the class because we were too immature for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but attended a screening of Birth of a Nation followed by a panel discussion. The question: "Were those actual Civil War battle scenes?". The panelist very politely explained that motion pictures were not invented until a few decades later. I spent the rest of the time biting my lip to keep from laughing. Thank God I wasn't on the panel.
TooSchwifty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Teachers who can't figure out when someone is fucking with them
PhilDunderpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My personal favourite while coaching football (Soccer) in the first half, "How many halves are left?" ๐ ๐
undead2468 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in sophomore bio in high school a lot of the students thought the sun rotated around the earth...
cfuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science teacher's response to being asked if adding food dye to water would change the colour.
joreilly86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*mind blown
ChrissyChrissyPie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a set of conjoined pups in a jar of formaldehyde on my desk. On average, once a week, a child (on first encountering them), asks if 'he' is alive. All aforementioned children are 14-20 years old. I always answer, with a straight face, yes, definitely.
Shorty1050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tutor writing. A student came in wanting help creating an outline for an article summary. I asked what main ideas she had taken away from the reading assignment. They asked, "wait, I'm supposed to read it?"
SweptFever80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me flip this around, a few years back, we were studying corporal punishment in religion (don't ask), someone asks the teacher "Sir, what is mutilation?" His reply was the most face plan moment of my life so far: "Have you ever seen teenage mutant ninja turtles or X-men? It's like that, when someone like injects you with something and turns you into something else." There is no way he misheard, this guy was in his mid 20s...
PandaRaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What animal do oranges come from" - high school freshman.
scolfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A stupid question is one whose answer, if it exists, doesn't actually tell the asker anything. I'm sure we've all heard at least a couple of those.
CreamyHampers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pharmaceutical Class: How much opium is in Tylenol?
Antworter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When a student asked me a question about Andrew Jackson, so I started explaining the context of the Indian Wars and the Trail of Tears, then they interrupted me and shrieked, 'What's the answer!!?' So I said, 'Google it.'
jordanlianw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was absent from school from October-January for maternity leave. Yesterday, a student who had me all of last semester asked if I had had my baby yet. Apparently they missed the entire time my sub was in the classroom!
ThatGeoGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but have been a Teaching Assistant at a University. The undergrads have this culture of what we call "road maps," basically assignments that have been handed down from the previous year that they use to either 1) copy entirely or 2) copy pieces and try to improve where prior students lost marks.
The dumbest question I ever got asked while being a T.A. was when the professor and I introduced brand-new, never before seen labs to the class. The student asked (to my face, in front of all their peers):
Honestly, it's one thing to cheat on your assignments, it's another entirely to ask / complain to (askplain?) your T.A. if cheating with road-maps is okay.
Niconini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not teacher (ITT jokes aside) but we had younger students in all our classes as like juniors (messed up schedules basically at my early college left a lot of older students in freshman classes).
This girl usually said really dumb stuff but she was always completely serious. I know she wasn't kidding, she would actually ask follow up questions later on. The only other fact I know about her is her strange obsession with Harry Styles, she always wrote her last name as 'styles'. Some examples of her comments that I remembered:
"Did they eat the mummies?" When talking about salt preservation or something in ancient Egypt.
"Canada was owned by Russia too, like Alaska, right?"
Thought Italy and India was the same country.
br4ndnewbr4d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a classmate in grade 10 Biology exam label a blank diagram of an ear as all the parts of the vagina.
pilnock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait. Isn't Africa in Europe?"
Asked in a tenth grade (age 16) world studies class toward the end of the semester.
staylor92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was Hitler's last name?
MrEvilNES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but we were in class studying a play with lots of absurd humor. At one point one of the characters asks why does the journal have the age of the deceased people but not that of the newborn babies. Someone said "I'm sure [name of the girl] didn't get it" and the teacher was like "C'mon, [name of the girl], I'm sure you got it, explain it to us". There was a long, awkward silence before she finally understood.
Wuubz99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just asked my teacher and he said the stupidest question he has ever heard is "Can I ask a question? " His reply always, as usual is " you just did "
ok2nvme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but was a CS major in college. In a senior-level programming class, a dude raised his hand and asked, "What's a buffer?" in the middle of the prof's lecture.
Kindergarten-High School is the time to raise your hand fearlessly. In college, feel free to ask a question if you're confident that it's a question that will further the whole class's understanding of the concept, but if you're a numpty who's completely lost, don't raise your hand to show everybody else that you're an idiot. That just eats away into everybody else's valuable lecture time.
The time for those questions is called "office hours."
PortensProteins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in year 10 (around 15 years old). Once asked my history teacher, when we were learning about the Cold War and the space race, she asked "can you live on the moon?" Then later on followed up with(I forgot what we were learning but we were prob talking about Europe) "where is Europe? Is it in England? " it took my history teacher while to convince her that Europe isn't in England... (Edit: if it helps she's a chav)
alwaysdickfingers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grade someone argued with our history teacher about why on a world map we never see the other half of the world.
FickleFishy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Answering for my math teacher. She told me how her first year teaching, a kid got upset saying they'll never use this level of math in the real world. He said "I mean, you graduated and have a job. Do YOU ever use this math in the real world?"
nospamkhanman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still a legitimate question, he probably meant "do you use this level of math outside of teaching this level of math?".
Sleeves_of_Bradford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had this student named Kevin...
ZombieDeath93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in my physics class asked "does gravity apply in doors?"
LeoAstra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An 8th grade student of mine looks up from a calender and asks me, "Mr. why is there no school on September 11th? Is it like a holiday or something."
lovelikemeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher. I'm my 10th grade literature class we had a whole quarter dedicated to King Arthur. On the day before the final a girl a year older than me asked the teacher, "wait. So Merlin is like Arthur's dad right?"
Onlyhereforthebooty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never forget this girl in 7th grade. When asked to spell thesaurus, she said, "Sorry. I don't know my dinosaurs."
God_Damnit_Nappa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student I saw in a senior level writing class in high school: "What's a novel?" Dead serious.
NoticedGenie66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid in my class (13 years old) ask the teacher why he got the answer to "9ร5" wrong. Teacher says "well, 9ร5 is not 95 like you put down here, it's 45". Student replies "but 9 plus a 5 equals 95? I still don't understand?"
The teacher had a nice long discussion about how multiplication works with the kid, and iirc he was held back a year because he didn't understand how to do math.
Nerkrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably never going to see any attention, but in my grade 11 bio class, one of my class mates asked " if plants were alive, would theycbe cold blooded or warm blooded any what colour would their blood be?" We all just took a moment to ask him if he was serious. Our teacher just looked disappointed and moved on with the lesson.
cats_on_t_rexes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow student in 10th grade: "You can't have sex while you're pregnant. The baby will be born with a dent in it's head"
jasiskool12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I have a friend who can't read a clock (he is 17) he also says the larger number first for example I would ask him how old his cousin is now he goes "I don't know maybe 7 or 6 last time I saw her she was 5 and I haven't seen her for 3 or 2 years" it drove me insane
rafitoxD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but this is so stupid that I need to share: once in my politics class in college, my professor was talking about the evolution of the relationship between church and state.
Then a girl asked seriously if Christianity came before or after Christ. My professor stood there staring her for several seconds and then everybody started to laugh. She only understood what she did wrong some minutes after the whole mess when someone explained.
DrSecret007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but once, in my AP Bio class while discussing the reproductive system, a girl, with which I couldn't tell if she was serious or not, asked:
"Why don't I get pregnant when I swallow semen then?"
To which the teacher replied with the best answer ever, "Go ask your father"
dontputlabelsonme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my friends in middle school convinced me that asking for a blowjob was slang for asking a teacher to turn on the fan so I literally asked my 7th grade teacher for a blowjob
atombrainiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is a teacher. Student e-mailed my wife asking what her e-mail address was.
During the first Gulf War, I was in 3rd grade and I asked the teacher why no one arrested Saddam Hussien if he was so bad.
jjeph234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here. We were learning about how Ireland coped during WW2 and our history teacher was explaining how the the trains switched from coal to run on turf instead. One girl asked how come the trains didn't just sink.
Thathappenedearlier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is it possible for us to see in 3D? I think it would be cool to" yeah this was junior year of high school.
ElvisAndretti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I witnessed this: fourth marking period of AP chemistry and my lab partner (who was worse than useless) asks: Mr. ***, what's a mole?
He had to leave the room for a moment. Or he did for effect.
Cheeze_It ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm waiting for the Kevin stories to come up.
danw650 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you die?"
She was 4.
Opppenheimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember back during my graduate school I was teaching a lower level physics lab and they did not ask me directly they asked each other, mind you these two pre-med students, asked "how do you convert meters to centimeters?" One of the girls said, "lets google it." I was cleaning up and putting the rest of the lab materials way and I heard that shit. Blew my mind the fook off. I just left the room. These were pre-Med students too! It makes you think, these are the kind of people that are going to be your doctors in the future. Bloody hell.
stromm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did I really get an "F"? Or whatever grade the got.
No, I don't like you so I gave you less of a grade then your answers prove you should get. /s
realwillwatson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best friend is history teacher. I was in his class when this happened.
When looking at a picture of Putin (shirtless) on a horse, this student asked:
"Woah! Is he like one of those centaur things??"
You could see his legs. In his defense the pants were brown like the horse.
AllysWorld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a possibility that the kid hasn't had vision tested recently? I've seen that picture and I saw it again without my glasses and it really looks like that if you aren't wearing glasses.
shnooqichoons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whether I could write the spelling test words on the board as I read them. It slowly dawned on her. (13 years old...)
Chkouttheview ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where's Kevin?
fullmetalmcfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I had a student once ask me, out loud, what it was called when people were sexually attracted to inanimate objects
jazziwazzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be a English high school teacher idk if I'm ready for stupid questions now
illuzion25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk if using idk disqualifies you for that particular job. Jesus fucking christ.
Unless you were trying to be funny. In which case, well played.
jazziwazzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be honest I do want to be an English teacher and I meant for my comment to have more grammar errors jot the lolz but somehow I forgot to do that haha
PM_ME_SOME_DOLLA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody once asked me how the sea could possibly have an angle.
(We were talking about climate change)
jaredog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Italy Italian?
Is Eli Whitney related to Eli Manning?
Both from 7th graders.
Lunchtime_doublySo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one I just answered 5 seconds ago.
Insert_delete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Dada a person? (During a class on Marchel Duchamp and Dadaism.
bad1ali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked why we couldn't just get rid of all the girl babies at birth (talking about population control). This was a sophomore boy. Took him a minute to realize we needs girls to have babies in the first place.
Moneyman12237 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start
joselrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, I'm a student, but there was this one question someone made on my class that I just won't ever forget.
7th grade on a Science class and we were studying the Oceans, and my teacher was showing a powerpoint with a world map like this, showing the temperature of the surface of the sea http://www.deepseawaters.com/images/avhrr-sea.gif
To what someone asked: "But teacher, isn't the sea blue everywhere?"
Everyone laughed non stop, the bell rang with no more progress on the subject and no one ever talked about it again
Moneyman12237 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid never got his question answered. I bet he's still confused to this day.
joselrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just assume the kid's gender?
witty1name2here3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a science class back in my early high school years, and we had just learned about how we see things by our eyes picking up the photons that are reflected off/emitted from things. Visible light spectrum, etc. This one girl raised her hand and asked if bullets traveled faster than the speed of light. Her reasoning was that you can't see a moving bullet in the air, and we had just learned that we actually can see light, and she had previously learned that the speed of light was incredibly fast, and she also knew that the faster an object moves the harder it is to see. So if we can see light, but we can't see a bullet, then, while both are fast, the bullet must be faster. I think she hated me because she asked questions like these a lot, and I sat behind her and had a bad habit of reacting without thinking and slamming my forehead down on my books and mumbling oh my god.
LeotheManMKII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember once we had to translate English words into French. Halfway through the lesson-"Wait, we had to write in French?" The guy had just copied out English words. ๐๐๐
Maverick336 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher once told us a girl asked him what time the test was going to be the next day. He told her is was at 5. She responded, "O'clock?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I have to share this one. A friend had a new boyfriend, we were all out to dinner, we're all about 20 years old. Out the window I could see an isolated storm several miles off. "Wow," I said, mildly interested. "Look at the rain over there." The boyfriend chuckles and says, "Yeah, right, how can it be raining over there and not over here?" Funny, that relationship lasted a lot longer than it should have.
churchgiggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm late to the game but in my sexual health class in college there was this one smart ass girl. The teacher said that skin was one of the biggest sexual organs. She proceeded to ask if she didn't have skin would she still have an orgasm. Real.
DigitalShards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, this came when I was 12-13 from a friend around the same age.
"Why is Alaska so cold? It's right between California and Hawaii, shouldn't it be warm?"
She'd only seen maps of the US that had Alaska and Hawaii insets in the corner, and assumed that both were islands off the coast of California.
Gators66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but when I was in eighth grade this kid Will asked our teacher "Is there a reason Virginia looks and sounds so much like Vagina?"
sinecolore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In medschool I was working as tutor in anatomy - new semester started and this group of 1st year students were about to witness their first cadaver. After inspection of the corpse I cut into the skin until one girl raised her hand and asked:
"So....would this make a real human bleed?"
I gave her a deadass stare as in ur probably in the wrong class
vealdin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but one time in class this girl was playing trivia crack and asked if Japan was off the coast of Florida or California. She once also asked to see if she left her car running while her keys were in her hand.
Dawg17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you look at the world map and go straight west from california you end up in Japan though
blade430 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 8th grade a classmate asked during a Spanish test, "Are calculators allowed on the test?" Everyone laughed except the kid who was genuinely confused.
Realkdoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my sister (around 15 at the time) said Japan "isn't surrounded by any water"
MantoineBZH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What color was Schrรถdinger's cat?
miki4242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look, but don't tell anyone!
marv249 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the students in my high school geography class once asked: "How is Hawaii so hot and Alaska so cold when they are right next to each other on the map?"
But she was pretty though.
flatlineskillz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friends sister was working at a local school and asked a group of kids to name one of the four food groups and a kid raised his hand and responded, "Chicken bone".
trexno12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in a world history class we were learning about how the U.S. used nukes to end WW2 and some girl in my class asked "Did anybody die?"
The teacher just looked at her dumbfounded for a minute then moved on.
zetterfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student in the class not the teacher but, during a religous studies class we were discussing ethics of death and suicide. And on the topic euthanasia one student, she was quite dim to be polite, she said, " hang on im quite confused. Where is euthanasia?"
My was so confused by the question that he just sat there in his chair with is jaw dropped and stayed open. With his mouth still wide open. He rotated his chair towards the wall and started to have a laughing fit.
Songslinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school student:
"Mr. Songslinger, when the big hand's on the eight, don't that mean 40"?
LesRenards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an 8th grader today submit a proposal for his science fair project. He wanted to inseminate a chicken egg to see what would grow. face palm
Barney-f ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student but when a teacher mentioned that we were going to Stratford-upon-Avon to see one of Shakespeare's plays a girl asked "Are we going to meet Shakespeare?"
lordarchaon666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in one of my 1st year university astrophysics classes, a fellow student said, "isn't Jupiter bigger than the sun?" Not only did we all sit in shock and wonder how this person had gotten this far in any scientific field, but the lecturers lazy eye actually aligned with his other eye to glare at this student.
I've never seen that happen before or since.
harambpepe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but the dumbest question I heard was at the little orientation at the hospital they send you to when you are getting ready to have a baby. The nurse talked about dilation sizes and held up a visual aid that had circles to show the stages of cervical dilation as a woman progressed through labor.
This one dude in the class held up his hand and asked if the dilation size was something he could check himself at home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher, but when I was referring to a friend moving to Alaska, another friend said, "what do you mean she's going to drive to Alaska? There's not even a bridge!" Poor guy forgot about Canada. I believe I won a dollar on the subsequent bet.
Kramming2018 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in Biology class in High School a classmate asked why women don't get prostate cancer...
Pallesnik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher but in 8th grade our social studies teacher asked "What do they grow in the midwest of the US?". Classmate answered with "wheat and grain". Teacher confirms then from across the room a friend chimes in "Don't they grow bread in the midwest?". Class laughs and being the teacher he is he decided to to write the students blunder down, along with the students name, on a post-it note and pinned it to the wall for everyone to see. It's still there today along with new students mistakes.
12-12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After attending a concert with a musician who played music on household items and hearing that anything that makes sound can be an instrument, a students turned to me and asked, "Are farts an instrument?"
scribbleslab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you answer honestly? Farts are singing :)
greenman312 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a techer, but a girl in my 11th grade biology class was firmly convinced meat was a separate part of the animal. Under the muscle.
aGeordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: A lot of shitty teachers.
JackoSmooth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What are earthquakes made of?"
This was from a freshman in high school.
PDespereaux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here: In 8th or 9th grade the science teacher was talking about a theory that stated that Earth may have been formed from debris and 'space junk'.
One of my classmates asks "So does that mean the Earth is made of rocket ships?"
I shit you not.
wish_my_wash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, was a junior in college. We were reading Things Fall Apart in an intro to English class and a girl asks "so, how did they have, like, war if they didn't have a government?"
stickmanmob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a student once asked in my class, while learning about gladiator fighting:
"Mr. M, what if a bunch of clowns went out to entertain between fights, and they were all wearing masks and makeup, and one of the clown's murdered someone, but they were all dressed up as clowns so nobody knew who really killed the guy, would Roman police guys line all the clown's up in a row and try to find out who killed the guy".
The whole class was dead silent. The teachers reaction was to say "Umm.... What??"
don5of4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy that was actually really smart tried to argue with our physics teacher that if you threw something straight up in the air it would not land in the same spot (not taking into account air resistance or the earth spinning).
Rzzq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a educated teacher, but i work as part time sub at a local school. A kid in 3rd grade asked me ''Is my mother a bird? Because she told me a story when my father was a bee, iv never seen my father so i dont know.'' I was just like...<its just a story kid>
Darkspy8183 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was my own, and I promise it was as a joke.
In English class, the teacher was explaining the term "Portmanteau" to some students.
I asked him where portmanteau was.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember last time this topic came up there were some great responses.
HopeForCynics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite remains to this day: "Why do meteors always land in craters?"
davetheslavewhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a fellow student: "do dead skin cells really live on body?"
greeneyedgirl1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This week a student asked me, "Is Spain in North America?" This was a Spanish 4 High school class.
sholifie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach an Environmental Science lab at a university. I was once asked by a student if pepsi was a plant or an animal.
scribbleslab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a perfect time to bring up the stomach enzyme, pepsin, that its names after :)
Levelup13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dogs don't lay eggs... do they? 9th grade...
golfographer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in high school in that thought cruise control meant the car would actually drive for you. Turning, stopping the whole deal. Real Google type stuff back in the early 90's.
pocky-town ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3rd year of university. Girl in bio class thought that cancer was a virus (15-20% of cancers have a viral cause so I'm thinking she got mixed up with that)
dstarno7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach guitar and my student of 1 year tells me that he's left handed. I had been teaching him on a right handed guitar.
MrLuberLober922 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in 8th grade science class while learning about the Sun's rotation a girl sitting right next to me asks "So, people have been to the Sun right?" The teacher just stood there silently in disbelief for about ten seconds until she realizes the girl is serious and replies, ".....No Bella, we have never sent any people to the Sun."
MrLuberLober922 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also this other girl thought a nuclear plant was a real plant
GhostwriterShadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really starting to love being a teacher on Reddit. No one ever believes these stories when I tell them otherwise. They think I'm crazy.
Teaching seventh grade is an eye-opener sometimes. This year started by being a particularly interesting one. I got a real interesting set of students. We started writing our first story of the year, and I was introduced to this gem from a rather average student:
What do you mean we have to use a period at the end of every sentence? What's a sentence? Is it like a paragraph or just the end of the line we're on?
I felt bad because this student was being completely serious. No one had ever taught him/her what constituted a sentence or how to punctuate it. In the six years prior, he/she didn't even think to ask and his/her teachers never checked the writing. Was an A-B student in English too.
LuvMeTendieLuvMeTrue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not very stupid but still, a high school teacher was showing some statistics on average wages and mentioned sums like "$35k".
A girl on my class: "is that monthly or yearly wages?" I assure you, no she wasn't from that rich family that those monies could be mixed up.
GradeSchoolFightClub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While working on a map assignment a student (16 years old) pointed to the map and asked, "is this Germany?" I told him that it was Canada. He then asked, "is that part of the United States?" My jaw dropped. This is an American History class.
VanellieIce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too late to this thread, and I'm not a teacher, but I've got a good one. Senior year of high school in history class we were talking about Denmark and how they have the highest happiness rating in the world. One kid raises his hand and asks the dumbest question I've ever heard to this day. He asks, "does Denmark have wifi?" The entire class was stunned.
catskhiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't know the answer, it's not a stupid question.
BradOShizno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher now, but not one of my kids (yet). I was in health class and we were doing life saving techniques like the heimlich maneuver, CPR and self heimlich. The teacher gave us a sheet with all the instructions for each one. Step 1 in each besides the self heimlich was: "Ask the person if they're 'ok'."
He then had random students get up and demonstrate each one. He asked this girl to demonstrate the self heimlich and she got up in the front then had a really puzzled look on her face. When the teacher asked her what the problem was... she said... "how do I ask myself if I'm ok?" I shit you not... junior/senior class... half of the class laughed so hard they were on the floor, the rest of us starred wondering if she was serious... and realizing she was.
anuja1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kahi bhi nako re mangu mahne mobile no de
deymus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, this happened when I was a high school junior. Was taking an introductory astronomy course (extremely basic overview of the field) and as a part of our final unit on human space travel and exploration we watched Apollo 13. Paused for questions halfway through and one girl asked, completely serious, "Did Tom Hanks really go to the moon?"
justkidding515 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an 11th grade Honors English class, we were doing persuasive presentations. A student did his on why drug testing should be required in the work place. He gave examples and his presentation was okay. At the end there was a Q&A. One girl asked, "Then why is orange juice good for you?"
It took me about 2 minutes to figure out she thought the drug acid was PH acid.
EDIT: Thought of another one. I'm teaching Honors English 9. We were reading Lord of the Flies. They got it in December, and it's now almost February. For their midterm, they had to write an analysis paper proving a theme from the novel. I was going over the parts of an analysis essay and said they should have the title, author, main characters, etc... I said they can combine them with something like, "In William Golding's novel, Lord of the Flies, ..." One girl legitimately asked me if that's actually what the book is called. WE'VE BEEN READING IT FOR 2 MONTHS!
hellainterstella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my math class freshman year of high school, our teacher was showing an example of a project he saved from a previous student. It was basically a miniature house made out of popsicle sticks, a few toothpicks, and glue. As he was done explaining the project and putting it away, the one girl in class notorious for asking dumb questions asks, "Can that catch on fire?"
After a long silence and everyone staring at her, she says, "Well, I thought the glue would make it not catch on fire...."
glassjar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a top twenty list, but here are a few from this year:
8th Grader: Mr. ____? Me: Yeah? 8th Grader: Uh.... I was going to ask you what you do for a living, but then I realizedโฆ
6th grader: How old were you when you started dying? (Serious question--until she processed what she said.)
Not stupid but....
11th grader: What if my presentation takes longer than twenty minutes? me: Youโre not going to die or anything. Just try to keep it to that time. 11th grader: But what if I canโt? me: Then a random person in the class will die, but not you. 11th grader: Oh, okay. But will it affect my grade? ---Gotta keep your priorities straight.
Fazer2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when I was around 17 years old I asked in a biology lesson about ethics of cloning "Would cloned people have souls?". The teacher was confused and then some other student changed the subject.
B00YAY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid asked me if the KKK was the same thing as the white samaritans.
kasper12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question, but a stupid answer.
9th grade history class teacher: What is the capital of France?
Class Idiot: Europe.
He raised his hand and everything.
kikolicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More cute than stupid but definitely one of those awe-inspiring moments;) I am an ed. assistant in a Kindergarten classroom in Foxboro, MA (home of the Patriots). We've recently been celebrating their playoff performance, and now path to the superbowl, by drawing pictures, dressing up, etc. One day when we were working on writing complete sentences below a picture they had drawn of anything they associate with the team one of the students asked 'How do you spell NFL?'
Needless to say the teachers and I had a great laugh:)
Floyd_Pink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were on the annual coach trip to Northern France from our very inner city comprehensive high school located in a not too shabby county but still, the region has the usual post-industrial depression issues.
As we are coming down the motorway towards Dover we are all enjoying the scenic English countryside when one of the smartest kids in the class taps me on the shoulder and says (whilst pointing out of the window), "why are those hills over there blue?"
I was like, "huh" whilst trying to work out which blue hills he was pointing to. After a minute it dawned on me. The Blue Hills he was pointing to where in fact the English Channel. This teenage boys had simply never seen the sea before.
uroboros74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, a girl asked in science class what rocks eat. She thought rocks grew since they were all different sizes.
omegaSQU4RED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
That's a stupid question, of course I don't...
JessiKaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher - but at college, had a roommate ask me 'how does rice multiply? when you put it in water, how does it grow more rice?'
taffygoestiti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why did the Nazis not like the Germans?" This was from a high school student.
DPB6446 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12th grade physics class: "When they calculated the mass of the earth, how did they account for all the buildings?"
cuppa_taters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Year 8 class (12-13 year olds) were talking about black cats and their links to witches/the occult etc. One pupil turned to another and said "Wow! Does that mean you can do magic?"
Normadic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my class asked if Africa was a country
veggiekill666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but another student once asked me what state Canada was in
abez1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When we have a full moon, people on the other side of the Earth have a new moon, right?
Perky1972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to my co-worker. Grade 11 biology. 17 year old student. He sheepishly asked "where does the sun go at night?" The same student at parent/teacher conferences with his father, trying to discuss his terrible mark in biology. Dad says "come on son. This is ONLY biology. Not like it's a hard class or anything." Not sure where he is now...
Dekar6996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do we even have numbers, they have no point in America. Said by one of my fifth grade students.
Marklmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you are wondering where dumb questions come from, my 6th grade teacher friend asked me if there were any sharks in the Potomac River when he visited me in Washington, D.C.
BUCKMEISTERFULLER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But in my senior year high school history class this kid in all seriousness asked "are nukes made out of volcanoes?" I thought he was joking at first, so the class laughed. And then he said , "how do you get the lava inside the nuke?" And we stopped laughing.
Just to put things in perspective: he was a super senior and failed history before and is not special needs.
DMH713 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but my freshman year of science, a girl asked the teachers if rockets were shaped the way they are to drill out of the earth.
thefatfuzzycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student once who thought that Alaska was an island, since on some maps of the United States it presents Hawaii and Alaska in boxes at the side or bottom, with Alaska pictured separate from Canada.
8urfiat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do onion rings get their name?
Zahid717117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've shared this before, but as a high school biology teacher, a 16 year old student once asked me "Wait, aren't rhinos made of mud
she-werewolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this one's still funny. In 9th grade science, I used to sit next to this dude who would occasionally say hilariously stupid things. My favourite, by far, would be when we were learning about space and the teacher mentioned the temperature of the sun. She said it was approximate, ad he suggested taking a thermometer, enlarging it with a growth ray, then using that to measure the temperature of the sun. Somehow, only the people sitting next to him heard this. There was another time when he read "big dipper" as "big diaper" and spent half the class debating the spelling of "diaper". He also stopped a class to ask if a person's learned skills would be passed down to their children through genes. He's a nice guy though.
taffyowner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean for a long time that was a valid thought process for how genetics work... its actually a theory called Lamarckian Evolution... and the most famous example is giraffes just stretched their own necks out over time to reach food
Dreamsprite3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my RE class asked the teacher 'Sir, did jesus come before the dinosaurs?'
WIPeFo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time my cat took a shit so big that you could smell it across the whole damn house. Anyways, that's why I don't go to Tony's anymore
shadybutton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly a question, but definitely the dumbest statement I've ever heard. The kids were watching parts of Dances With Wolves (moderated of course) and the main character was hunting for meat. One girl found this disgusting and straight up said so. A discussion started and one other student asked the girl where she thought the meat at the store came from. The girl said she thought it grew in the packet.
The students were 13 at the time.
gunsmyth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one had to leave the room after a student asked about "the pubic wars"
To be fair this was a class in English but in Mexico, so these kids were taking history, in a second language
Scrotinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Discussing the gold rush in American History class. Girl asks "Who's gold was it and why did they bury it?"
Another time the teacher was going on about how with the invention of the steam engine it was no easier to ship products upstream. Gold rush girl could not comprehend why it was easier to go up stream with a steam engine.
HumanStain49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school one of our teachers was explaining to us that the human brain is made up mostly of fat. A girl then raised her hand and asked "So does that mean that fat people are really smart?" She was 100% serious. Also a girl in my high school biology class asked the teacher if rabbits laid eggs.
TheHallowQueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but probably the most pissed I've ever seen a teacher get, lol. She explained some formula in algebra (8th grade or so) and did examples yadda yadda, then asks if anyone has any questions. My friend raised his hand and asked, "Why are there interstates in Hawaii?" Her face turned all red and said, "Get the hell out of my classroom." So many of us tried not to laugh because she was so angry. When she left the room to talk to my friend we were like, "Well, she DID ask If anyone had questions." lol
Steviejeet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a high school student the teacher directed us to build a catapult only using materials around during that time period. This girl asks if we could use wood.
GApollinaire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my advanced 10th grade history class years ago, the teacher projected an image of the British Ship 'Nemesis' destroying Chinese junks during the opium wars. A girl in the class, one who later received a pile of awards for academic excellence, raised her hand and asked confidently, "Is this from Pearl Harbor?" The teacher pretty much laughed in her face.
It was this painting: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/b2/8b/71/b28b7139274105a24c92c5185171aa3a.jpg
BigPoppa3421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is a teacher and they were having popcorn as a snack and someone asked
"Where does popcorn come from"
She replied with a rather confused expression and said "Corn"
She went on to laugh and laugh about for years to come.
Worst part I was the one who asked her. I was 23.
Little_st4r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a primary teacher (year 4). I get asked stupid questions every day. All day. 'I found a broken paperclip - shall I put it in the bin?' - well, I wasn't planning on fixing it.... Questions like this. All day.
GFUNK8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but relevant stupidity. On a river rafting trip and this 50ish year old guest asks, 'is the fire hot?'
Meph514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate during my chem eng bachelor last year course before an exam: "If we know the fluid velocity and the diamter of the pipe, how can we figure our the flow rate?" No joke...
Flynn_lives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During my TA days...
Girl: "Geology is not very interesting all the rocks look the same. I really want to major in Astronomy. I love horoscopes and mystical stuff.
Me: Okay<screaming internally>
TheOxfordCommaIsSexy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spanish teacher here. In reviewing for her final exam, a high school student who had never been particularly bright asked (in complete seriousness), "Wait. But isn't Spain a state in Canada?"
Mentally ticked off the many things wrong with that sentence and just said, "No, dear. Check your notes."
Galt42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student once asked when 9/11 was.
pbcapcrunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do I do? -_-
biggestofmikes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. Biggestofmikes... Can I ask you a question?"
Sally, you just did.
Towel-Baggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but someone who witnessed the question. We had a new teacher come in one day around 3rd grade and she pretty much just introduced herself and told us about her life. She talked a lot about how she was a published author, blah blah blah, etc. This talk went on for like 30 minutes and she asked if anyone had any questions at the end. Some kid raises his hand, points to the door leading out of the classroom and asks, "What's through that door?"
AwaitingTasks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher.
In a computer science class, a student tried to question the teacher how queue was pronounced.
"Isn't it pronounced 'coo way'? "
The entire class just stared, as this teacher was well respected and exceedingly strict.
kodren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, and I already have shared this, but here it is anyway... A 13 year old student once asked me if Hitler had lived before the Romans. ๐
That-Guy-6345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was a sophomore we were discussing Hannibal and his elephants during the Punic Wars. She raised her hand and asked with the most serious face, "Are Hannibal's war elephants still alive?" The class died.
cptmonty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but ill never forget this moment from my high school world history class.
We were learning about Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation. After hearing about Luther for most of the class period, one of my classmates raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said:
"Wait a minute. Didn't Martin Luther free the slaves during the Civil War?"
Juapp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today actually, 8 year old in my class "Wait... so humans have bones? I thought bones came out of the ground when skin fell off." I didn't really know where to start.
metaphysintellect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College student asked me what their grade was after I gave a huge announcement on how to calculate your grade and to never ask me what your grade is. They were totally serious and they got super embarrassed.
Ewoktoremember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a Junior level GE course last semester and some 'daddy's little princess' had the revelation that you have to pay back a loan with interest. In fact, she didn't even know what interest meant.
CheifLazerus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Isn't America's birthday January 1st?"
"What do people in the United Kingdom speak if we speak American?"
"You're Muslim does that mean you can speak Muslim?"
These were all from one girl who is a senior now. But my favorite was a series of questions by another senior:
Student-"Why would I go to college I already make 9.50 an hour, that's way more than you make as a teacher Mr. Lazerus"
Me-"Teachers are on salary pay, but usually make 23 dollars an hour starting off"
Student-"What? I thought teachers didn't make a lot.
Me-"Compared to most degree requiring jobs we don't"
Student"..."
Student-"I should consider this whole college thing"
After this exchange the whole class seemed a bit surprised and enlightened.
TomatoPastey227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to write down this girls bad questions in 11th grade history. She asked if Genghis Khan was from China or Japan. She also asked why, instead of dropping the A-bomb on Japan, why the US didn't just surrender to the Japanese.
justinecases ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but it was in my study hall in high school, sophomore year. People were talking about Kim Kardashian and how she's Armenian. Some kid pipes up, "what's Armenian? Does that mean she's in the army?"
Deadpan.
furrowed_brow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What time is 4pm Rec?"
miranto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread just confirmed there are not stupid questions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jrwn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a doctor who it going to be getting sued.
InfestedJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7th grade science class. We we're watching a film about the discovery of penicillin. To give a historical backdrop one of the scenes had a video of Hitler giving a speech the ended with the Nazi salute. A girl (Arican American no less) shouts to the class "Is that Martin Luther King Jr?"
FangMaster4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a kid who seriously thought trespassing was legal if the owner of the property did not find out.
santha7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While students were taking a test, I got this question three times (7th graders). "Do you want me to turn this in?" No, I grade telepathically...please keep it.
Flobarooner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In History class, ~16 y/o. I sat next to a girl I really liked, really popular and I'd heard she liked me back. We were learning about WW2 and she seemed to suddenly realise something. She asked me, "Why did everyone stop Germany from taking over Europe?" Dumb question right? That's not it. When I answered, her response was "But doesn't Britain own Europe? Why did they let us do it?"
It's safe to say I wasn't as keen on her after that.
IAmMunsoned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday my student asked me if Taco Bell sold dolphins.
LiamTheBobbitt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf
KapetanDugePlovidbe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was at college, a student had some issues converting units, but something really trivial, like one order of magnitude (x1000) on the si scale. Trying to help her figure it out, the teacher asks: "well, how many grams make a kilogram?"
"Um, around 900?" she replies.
Yes, college.
ViciousDishes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in 7th grade we had a Holocaust survivor come to speak. One girl asks "Wasn't Hitler a jew?" The level of facepalming was astronomical.
Gnomeballer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl in 8th grade who just moved from Alaska asked if there were noodle farms because she thought noodles grew on trees
JesstheMess1016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA for an intro Calc class in college... We were about 5 weeks into the semester when a girl raised her hand and asked the Professor "Why do you keep calling everything a curve? That is clearly a straight line."
sofa_king_nice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The student who was sure that eggs come from cows. After all they are next to milk in the market...
Gdat117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my grade 10 sex ed class the teacher said there were three holes a penis could be inserted into and a student asked if the ear was one of them. He was dead serious
kindawordy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a senior in high school, in my American Government class, a student asked the teacher, "When did things start being in color?" We were viewing some old black and white photos on a projector and he assumed she was asking when color photography first came about. But no. Her next question was, "Wait, so the past wasn't in black and white?"
Based on some of her other questions that year I genuinely believe she thought the past was in black and white.
tprotexter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I remember when I was in elementary school our teacher told us there were still people inside the ships that sank on Pearl Harbor and I asked how they still had enough food and why no had gotten to them yet. I'll never forget the ridicule of her telling me they were dead and the whole class making fun of me.
LisaKaPisa7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching an animal unit in 8th grade Spanish (in an affluent suburb of Minneapolis). A student asked, "I know the difference between a lion and tiger but I can never remember which one is the male and which one is the female. Lions are the males and tigers are the females, right?" I have to make a point every year to tell students that rabbits are mammals and don't lay eggs. Even my smart kids are very clueless about basic animal facts.
B2utyyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Minnesota for you, lots of stupid people here.
PirateJohn75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When they come up to me the day a three-week assignment is due and say they didn't finish it because they didn't understand it. Why didn't you ask me that three weeks ago???
Opioneers85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Africa in Asia? Wat.
Bonus: Let's name some famous Native Americans.
Martin Luther King Jr?
No, that's a famous African American. How about a Native American?
Rosa Parks?
GG
physjunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught physics, but one of my students was in the middle of a test in his calculus class and asked "Is two an even number?"
Probably one of my better students, and he did really well so I'm assuming it was just stress or something. However, I think it disturbed his classmates, who saw him as some sort of savant, more than anything.
icestroge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student: "What was Hitler's second name?"
samuelludwig74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he mean "middle" name?
jhnvbkmhgkmh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of different, but still related. My friend in his art class was convinced by everyone that the carrots we eat are carved out of a big carrot that grows on trees... We're in high school.
EvieAnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time I was working on a project with a fellow student. We were supposed to gather information on certain politicians. I split up the facts we needed to find, and on her side was the person's spouse. She asked me what that meant. I looked at her and said "...His wife." She shook her head and mumbled "well, why didn't they just put wife, then."
irish__dave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One asked: how do you spell GCSE (English end of school exams)
One girl asked me - Which person made the vagina?
worldvsvenkman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If God wasn't real, wouldn't we not look like humans since man was made in the image of God and not dinosaurs?
lastjabberwocky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was in a college class where we were talking about social norms and this one kid raised his hand and went rambling with the key point being, "...so you know how the Whore of Babylon slept with a jackal?" The teacher just stared at them and then proceeded to ignore the question
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in freshman year of high school there was this one girl in my honors class that shouldn't have been in there. One day, the teacher was talking about how mountains, like the Appalachian and rocky mountains, can sort of cause tornadoes (this was a history class). After saying that, the girl said "Why don't we just chop them down?" The class froze, staring at her. "How are we going to do that?" My teacher questioned. "Well, we have big machines that could easily chop down the mountains". "Where will we put the chopped up mountains?" asked the teacher. "Just throw them in the ocean, there's lots of room there. Like 60% of the earth or something like that." The teacher didn't give a lesson that day, he just couldn't take that stupidity. She surprisingly stayed in the class the whole year and passed, but she also cheated on everything.
Keram_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one of my classmates said: "Why doesn't Mozart compose anymore?" This was in 9th grade.
thedepster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm posting late, but I've got one that still makes me shake my head. A senior in high school asked me, "Ms. the depster, is it true that black people were invented in 1900?" I thought she was kidding. She wasn't.
Random_Link_Roulette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher here, I said it so trust me I am actually one $100%.
A student named Kevin asked me if I could help him with lunch so he asked for 3.50, true story.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many shrimp come in the double dozen? (not a school question)
wrongbutt_longbutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a physical therapy student on her clinical internship. As she was writing her note, she stopped mid sentence and looked at me with a puzzled expression. After a pause, she asked "Where are the Roman numerals on the keyboard?"
trevize1138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While training adults in a classroom I once repeated the old joke about "gullible" not being in the dictionary.
"Whoa, really?" said one guy completely serious.
Bigrodvonhugendong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question but a comment from a fellow student. Was in an art class freshman year of college. The entire class was devoted to Salvador Dahli. At the end of the class, the teacher always asked basic questions just for repetition (e.g. who did we study today? what was their style? etc.). When she ended the class she asked "who did we study today?" and a big 6'10" basketball player stood up and yelled "Picasso!" in the most proud voice ever. We all sat there in stunned silence and slowly walked out of the room.
deadpoolyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my freshman year roommate told me Peter Parker was following her on Instagram. She was excited because she thought Peter Parker WAS the actor of Spider-Man instead of his alter ego.
Then I had to explain what alter ego meant.
51AN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you ever drunk bleach?"
Amnial556 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a classmate of mine during a geography class pointed to America and asked "what is Am-er-ika " and where is the united states
AcreaRising4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl once asked if Spaghetti grew on Trees. When she left the class my teacher found a documentary about Spaghetti Trees online and convinced her
Mezmorizor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If they hated Julius Caesar (horrifically butchered) so much, why didn't they just kill him?"
While reading Julius Caesar. After he got killed. Completely serious question.
AlehCemy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't happen with me, but with my mom. She teaches food science in a food school and she was explaining some things about meats and etc and she said that basically muscle is meat. And this student (who is in his 50s and is a farmer) asked her "What do you mean muscle is meat?", she had to explain it to him, using a lot of examples and even had to get pictures to show him so he could understand this.
im_thatoneguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dumbest answer I've ever gotten from a teacher was when she taught (in a freshman college science class) that every star, solar system and galaxy in the universe was moving away from earth "because of Hubble Expansion".
This same teacher also taught our econ 101 class in College and failed my fictitious IPO presentation because I actually stuck to the SEC's rules and regulations instead of doing a handful of things that she requested (that would be illegal in a real presentation). I guess she didn't actually want us to learn about IPOs...
Oh one more dumb college course answer. An animation teacher (who worked at pixar) once insisted that the second bounce of a bouncy ball is the highest. "Because the rubber stores energy".
tb8592 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student in high school and skipped class to go get subway. Came back with my sub, and the security guard yelled at me and said "HEY! Where'd you get that subway!!!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Permafox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it's not in English.
MoonProductions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in middle school and we had just finished a unit about North Korea when my friends girlfriend asked me which country it was in.
I asked if she meant continent, and then she asked "What's a continent?"
lumpyspacethrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but was a student. My senior history class, the teacher mentioned the Holocaust briefly assuming we all were aware and understood what the holocaust entailed. Dude raises his hand and asked "whats a Holocaust?" turns out he'd been homeschooled until his senior year and his parents thought it best to skip over that piece of history.
Another time in biology, im talking to my debate partner (i was a complete nerd) about some military history in relation to our debate topic and the dude behind me jumps in "im sorry what wars has america ever lost?" Dudes goes on listing all the wars america has won and i finally stop him when he gets to Vietnam to gently inform him America definitely did not 'win' Vietnam. He looked at me heartbroken and said "we lost Vietnam?"
Xeton9797 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a girls in my AP bio class said, "How are we suppose to know fish have back bones?" She was very confused at the rest of the students stunned expressions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach at a community college, and I was subbing for the anatomy teacher once. We were reviewing over the urinary system, and being the substitute I gave them a male and female urinary system to label. So one of the female students calls me over, and seriously asked me where the prostate was IN WOMEN. Like, you ARE A WOMAN! This girl wanted to be a medical assistant. She failed out.
pcoon43456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a stupid question I was asked, not a teacher. I'm an assistant manager at a service department for a car dealership. One of my service advisors asked me how many miles are on a car when it has its first set of tires put on. Not replacement tires, but factory installed tires.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my geology class senior year, we were tasked with describing various rocks. I ended up writing down "dark Rocky rock" which led to a stern talk from my teacher. Essentially informing me that I would not pass this class and she hoped "I did not need it to graduate" still passed with a D...
AGirlOnWhomICanRely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my 9th grade science class, we were learning about Orbits vs Rotations. So basically the difference between the earth spinning, and the earth going around the sun. Teacher was explaining that the moon goes around the earth, and earth goes around the sun.
Girl in the class looked very confused and raised her hand:
"Aren't the Sun and the Moon the same thing?"
She thought the suns fire just...went out at night, and became the moon
Highschool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love teaching first aid/cpr. Especially to small children. When I was brand new to it, I had no idea how out-of-left-feild some of their questions can be. The very young ones are just bursting to share anything and everything. My first, and favorite:
Floaty: "Does anybody have any questions? Yes, you."
Kid: "My aunt lives in a mountain!"
Floaty: "Nice."
xUrkchar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but...In my HS biology class, a girl asked if people were made of both plant and animal cells.
ThatSBKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In our first sex ed lesson, our teacher gave us the whole "there are no stupid questions" thing, and proceeded to tell us that a girl had once asked if you can get pregnant from anal sex.
Fox_That_Fights ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Year 6(11 years old) student:
"Sir, did you know that some dogs are girls?"
He was dead serious. He thought they were all male and all cats were female.
This was after weeks of science about genetics, using dog breexing as examples of genetic inheritance.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a totally stupid question if rephrased with "if water was there." The answer is yes due to gravitational pull (the reason the moon affects Earth), but not really because it's tidal locked.
c_hills90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was using a map of the world to explain how I was going to sail from Norway to Hong Kong. "How can you do that? You'd sail off the map."
911ChickenMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my history teachers used to work at a high school where the middle school had to pass everyone with at least a 70. Once you got to the high school, that rule no longer applied. He had people who slacked off in middle school who knew nothing when they got to high school. He kept a jar of stupid questions that he brought over to his new school.
Some of my favorites:
"What country is Africa in?"
"Why did Genghis Khan lose WWII?"
"Do eggs come out of a chicken's butt?"
rgriff923 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do eggs come out of a chicken's butt?"
...I'm still waiting on this answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science class in highschool, we were handed out biodegradable pens for free and a girl asked if a tree full of pens would grow if she left it on the ground.
kevinaud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but when I was in 10th grade a girl in my World History class asked the teacher "when did they discover the internet?" Apparently she thought the internet was some magic force that existed in the ether and we somehow learned how to harness it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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mtux96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and when it rains you get covered in the blood of clouds.
0nceInABlueMoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher here, but once heard a girl in my class ask "what's the capital of Philadelphia?"
Tjknapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I work retail. I've had to explain how to use spray paint before. Another lady asked where the thing is that's made out of that stuff. Not her exact words but along those lines. No info whatsoever.
kodiakcowboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was in 8th grade and we were covering sex ed. It came time for anonymous questions and someone wrote in "Can you get pregnant from swallowing sperm?" Without skipping a beat, one of the more popular girls blurts out "What? Why would you swallow sperm?"
dz1u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did Jesus die? This kid had gone to catholic school for his whole schooling life including a couple of religious classes every week and he asked this in year 10.
Jbs97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a girl in my class (2nd year of high school at the time) asked, "Miss when does the human race I keep hearing about actually start" She thought the human race was literally a race......
Link_of_the_Sheikah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I'll never not laugh at this. Once in 10th grade Biology, a girl in my class asked, completely serious, "Like why do we have to, like learn these history things? Like why do we need to know why Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue in like 2014?" I've never seen a teacher and class more dumbfounded.
MoonProductions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 6th grade we were learning about the revolution and my teacher asked a girl what year it took place.
"1996." She was completely sure of it.
Teachers response: "Well you're only about 200 years off!"
Beckkr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school math teacher. What's 1X0? How'd they get through to 11th grade without knowing this?!
R1ckMartel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Although I teach now, this one is from when I was a student, in pre-calculus:
"Isn't three an even number?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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jenfoolery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course! http://www.dolphinbayhilo.com/cook.html
MyriadMuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my friend told me about this dumb college girl in her class. They were talking about that one experiment with the overpopulation of rats. She asked "Why did the rats die when they could've farmed and made their own food?"
yooniecycle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my class asked if Napoleon Bonaparte invented Neapolitan ice cream.
FirePowerCR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The older I get the less surprised I am by stupidity. Also, this thread has too many questions without answers.
kobekramer1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everything a teacher said this I would always follow up immediately by raising my hand and asking if there was such a thing as stupid questions.
The_New_York_Jets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a TA for a Microeconomics lecture I once had a student, 19-20 years old, ask with all seriousness "Why don't we just go back to a barter system?" He was wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt to boot.
Ordinarily this isn't such a horrible question. In fact the concept can provoke some interesting discussions of basic theory. However, this was well into the second half of the semester in a course designed specifically for political science/econ majors. This very topic had been discussed the first week of class. The entire class offered many explanations for economic principles from multiple schools of thought, and essentially every piece of theory offered an implicit answer to this question.
It would be like a student in the engineering department asking why we don't build skyscrapers out of wood.
sizzle16_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, one time a girl in my grade asked the teacher if Canadian's were the people that lived in igloos. 9th grader. smh
MAreddituser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but the student - Accounting professor was explaining compound vs simple interest and asked if anyone knew the difference. I raised my hand and said "compound interest is where the interest owed gets roled into the principal and you pay interest on the total amount so it's interest on interest." She spent the next 15 mins arguing with me. I finally quit arguing and let her get on with class.
Dasuperfly007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime anyone asks anything in basic training.
DarkLunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why don't astronauts hit all of those stars when flying to the moon?"
DrNO811 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me this kid was less than 8 years old.
DarkLunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....19.
But on the bright side, he quite literally face palmed himself within seconds of saying it.
DrNO811 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully he was stoned when he asked it...
DarkLunch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't stoned. He went on to sit for the Bar and passed. Go figure.
I never miss an opportunity to remind him about the distance to our next closest star after the Sun.
someguyfromwalmart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in my English Class when we're reading "Julius Cesar":
"Is Cesar dead?"
hardgour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this where Caesar lived?"
mbok_jamu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you can find him in every vegan restaurant. Yes, yes he's vegan.
GeorgeRowland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a few years ago I took a basketball coaching course at my university, at the end we were asked to fill in a two page questionnaire about the course for feedback.
The first question asked us to estimate the percentage of time spent being taught in a classroom, the amount of time spent being taught on court and the amount of time where we were coaching.
After about 5-10 minutes I finish and pass my piece of paper to the course leader, while I'm talking to him I hear a voice from across the room exclaim "Ohhhhhhh are they supposed to add up 100%?"
thebellrang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 16 yr old student asked me what the time was and I pointed to the clock on the wall. He still didn't know, so I kept him at lunch to try to teach him.
asufootball64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a geometry teacher for sophomores in high school. We were talking about my trip to Tennessee and had a student ask "Why are you going to Canada?" After telling her multiple times it is in the United States she looked at a map of Tennessee in the US and still argued that it is part of Canada.
She is a student that receives high grades in my class but has 0 common sense.
lrshearer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In one of my classes at university, a student asked if the Dalai Lama was from Star Wars. Later that week when someone mentioned Gandhi she replied with "isn't that the guy from Lord of the Rings?" She was 18.
yerfdog1935 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends didn't know who Jim Carrey, Mother Teresa, Frank Sinatra, Vanilla Ice, or a plethora of other very famous people were as a freshman/sophomore in college.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in my sophomore year of college during biology, we had some free time and the professor was answering any science related questions/curiosity's we might have. Someone asked something about eclipses, the professor explains the differences between the two and all and during the explanation, he brought up night time with lunar eclipses and demonstrates with a globe. Sooooooo after that, a guy raises his hand and asks if we can see the line for the twilight zone (terminator?) when it passes over us. The professor kind of just stood there in silence because he wasn't sure if it was a joke. The kid legitimately thought there was a dividing line that passes over for day to night (as in you can see the shadow approaching clearly, one side day and the other night). I think he answered "No........were you never outside before when it's getting dark?"
Theoreticallylucky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We once had a holocaust surviver come into our high school class to talk to us and answer any questions. This one person, completely serious, asked her if she would ever go through it again
rawkiteer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real holocaust was the friends we made along the way.
Geminiun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sort by: Controversial -> Find the stupid question askers posts.
Musclemagic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked how to spell Mississippi... A student replied, "Who day?" (Mrs. Sippy?)
MasterPhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will get buried, so it's just for you Ursula.
Not a teacher, but in a high school social studies class about African history, a girl raised her hand and asked the teacher "if white people have white bones..." You can probably guess the rest
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid, just cute. Foreign Language Teacher. Early primary school students thought I flew overseas to their school every other day, despite seeing me in the local grocery store all the time.
SpacecadetShep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher , but still this was pretty funny
back in my pre-med days I took an anatomy class and one of the Netter's slides hand a drawing of a hand lifting part of the intestines to show what was underneath. One girl asks " what's that thing lifting up the intestines?". The teacher says " Thats a hand". The class has a good laugh and the lecture continues. Well 5 minutes later the girl stops class again and asks for the laser pointer. She then gets up and asks "but really though what is that?" pointing directly to the hand on the slide. The whole class is dead silent and then the teacher says "You sure you want to be a doctor?"..The class is dead silent after that. Last I heard the girl is in medical school somewhere in the caribbean now
graebot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but my flatmate, who was in his 5th year of medical school, asked me in complete seriousness, whether cows had sex.
DrNO811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you, with equal seriousness, respond "Of course not, they reproduce asexually via mitosis."
graebot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After 21 years, I finally have the perfect comeback. Thanks stranger!
lazykoala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read to kids and teach them sciences at the library on my free time. (I'm a marine biology major) While I was talking to kids about coral reefs the girl I was dating who was helping me with the presentation (she majors in mass comm) asked me if octopuses were real..
akaBenz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same classmate provided my Top 2 in all of my school years.
First year of Latin Class:
While looking at a projected map of Europe, specifically speaking about the Danube
"I thought the Mississippi ran north to south?"
&
After pulling the massive battery out of the back of her phone (2006)
"So how do I get a different SIM card? Mine always gets hot when I plug the phone in to charge."
g00sefrabaaaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wife used to student teach at a high school. A student asked her If he could take her to McDonald's.
Schonfille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gave a hilariously stupid answer once. I was in somewhere between 6th and 8th grade, and we were learning about solving triangles (which I couldn't do now to save my life. There are different ways to solve them, and the methods have names: side angle side (SAS), angle angle angle (AAA), etc. Anyway, I was spaced out as usual, and my teacher asked me to name a method, and I said, "...ASS?" Everyone was laughing. I had no idea why, and the teacher said, "Let's keep that between us."
Kushan_Scout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student in my class once said, when asked what Michelangelo's most famous works were, that he was the one who painted the Mona Lisa... She was completely 100 percent sure of this, too, for some reason. Also, she was 16 years old back then.
Scp-1404 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TBF, they were both turtles.
WetSweatpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question that I just answered five seconds prior from the student who wasn't paying attention.
JoeKkerr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, In 6th grade. The teacher asked my friend a question to which he spelled all the words wrong, same with other two , she was furious over kids having ego regarding their English. Teacher : (In a furious voice) Cant you ask me if you are not able to spell something ? OverSmart Kid : (singing voice)Miiiiisssssss whaaat iss thissssss ? Teacher : (after two seconds pause, eyes red) SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH
tennmyc21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two good ones:
I've been in education 13 years so I feel like I have more, but those are the two that stick out the most.
asoiahats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/noahthered ?
haynesholiday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student once asked me if "The Martian" was based on a true story.
heelydon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was once this girl in physics class, talking about how gravity works. She was around 14 at the time. She would start questioning how it worked etc, and at the end she would make a very serious question. If she were to stand upright, and do a sitting motion on a poolcue, if she trained really hard, would she be able to lift herself up from the air? I was absolutely shocked.
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i think i saw that in a porno once
heelydon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
plz no.
mahajohn1975 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a high school senior taking an English course in which the teacher had us write extemporaneously on a subject of her choosing for five minutes at beginning of each class. On this particular day, I didn't understand the question, and was surprised to see everyone involved in writing. I had to raise my hand and ask "what is a 'caverage?' She looked at me with some confusion, so I read the topic of the day outloud "Should student athletes be required to maintain a caverage?" My fellow students laughed when she said "that says 'C average.'"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bekastek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess... Florida?
katasian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, a math problem started like this:
"There were 8 coconuts at the top of the coconut tree..."
A student raised her hand and asked completely seriously,
"Ms. XXXX, how did the coconuts get up into the tree?"
.....
UndeadSwank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember some interesting questions from classmates my senior year in high school.
The day the infamous earthquake/ tsunami hit Japan (2011), my economics teacher had a mental breakdown during class. She had not heard from her relatives living over there, unsure if they had even survived. She explained to us that she was going to wait by her phone all class, and not teach for the day. While the rest of us were understanding of what she was going through, some guy asked "if she was still collecting the homework." Completely serious.
On a separate occasion, we were discussing majors in my English class until one girl asked if "you need a degree to be a barista."
God some people are clueless.
sgt__pepper__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-"Why did I do so poorly on my exam?"
-"I guess you just missed more questions than you thought"
zaglamir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was not the teacher, but a girl in my 11th grade history class once stopped to ask the teacher how to spell "ID" in her notes. That pretty much ended the class for the day because all we did afterwards was laugh.
1905ChelseaBlues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ex-student here. I once had a high-school classmate ask, in an advanced placement class, "What does the blue stuff on a map mean?"
The teacher had no clue how to respond.
bekastek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buster Bluth says the blue on the map is land.
alziebop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend once asked me what time the 7/11 closes..
bekastek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. This just clicked for me too.
Shit.
Rob1150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking and? Some of them close.
alziebop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ummm the opening and closing times are in the name..
Victorian_Astronaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no stupid questions! Just stupid people!
Coxjl17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1/2 through the year, a student asks "what time is it?"
It was exactly 1 o'clock.
Don't mind the big clock at the the front of the room.
golden_rhino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During health class: "If a girl swallows, can she get pregnant when she pees?"
It's kind of intuitive, I guess.
BKlounge93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my high school English class once asked what a paragraph was. This was an AP class.
Elakisha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How can women have an anus if the don't get a prostate exam?" 12th grader in my genetics class.
I_Speak_For_The_Ents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was christ jesus' last name?
It was not her first year at that school
Ironhelix4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister in law asked if the movie "The Martian" was based on a true story. She's 27 college student.
adamsvette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but one time in 1st grade we were in the library listening to lady read a book, and the lady asked if anyone had any questions and some girl raised her hand. It went like this:
Lady: yes, what is your question? Girl: ummmm this weekend I went to my grandma's house Lady: yesssss very nice.
I just remember laughing cause I was like 6
thejaredreed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in sex ed my junior year and the teacher asked how much came out when a man would orgasm. A girl (who was experienced in this area) raised her hand and confidently said "A quart."
illmakemyown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student got summoned to the office, he looked at the paper and asked" Where's F-1? " Our room is F-1.
ClubSoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Do these stairs go up as well as down?"
know_comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade general science class, talking about astronomy:
"why do stars have 5 points?"
amberdus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any time a student asks a question, you answer it, and another student asks the same question because they weren't paying attention.
Realkdoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, in 8th grade history a classmate said "I always thought the U.S. And Europe were like, the same thing
shadowspawn1952 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it true you can't get pregnant if you do it standing up? That's what my uncle told me.
Le_VilainX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
L.awe a1c2bqbdcd poo
glivins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the sun the moon?
VesperalLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but someone in my class asked what was 2 x 1. This was in High School.
Matthemus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher, but my step dad is a teacher in a High School vocational technologies sub division; welding to be specific.
It's also not really a question. But he had a senior (year 12) student who couldn't read. This student wasn't mentally challenged, he just couldn't read. They had to provide him with a helping proctor that would read tests to him.
More question related:
He had one of my buddies in his class at one point. As part of the class they do 3D art and despite how it actually looks, they are judged on their cuts and welds. One girl wasn't doing very well, and my step dad want afraid to say so. My buddy asked "Can you stop being a dick to her?"
And after a brief confrontation, my buddy ended up being thrown across the shop.
And before anybody asks, yes, he deserved it. And yes, my step dad was reported for it, and they did investigate; he was given a warning. My buddy had a record of doing shit like that to a lot of teachers. The school thought it best for him to learn a lesson and he wasn't hurt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Spacemarine658 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wut
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was supposed to say Iraq and Iran. Im dumb. Im deleting the comment.
Spacemarine658 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol its cool just wanted to be sure you knew
GMane2G ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, adults have dreams?
CapnObv314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I one had a friend (middle school or high school) ask me: "In which part of Europe is Latin America located?".
Yeah...
megacesos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Biology professor told us that there are no stupid questions, but she then proceed to told us some of the questions she had faced in the past.
One of those questions that it was just too unbelievable and that I will never forget was...
Professor, is it true that black people don't feel much pain because they have thicker skin?
Our jaws just dropped in disbelief!
username_anxiety ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching background information on the Trojan War before The Odyssey, I had a student ask "Wait, how would they fall for that? Wouldn't they be able to tell it wasn't a real horse?"
GXD15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in the eight grade I was sitting in my History class and the kid next to me asked me if Mount Rushmore was actually real
SadieDunn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
French class in college (Canada) the day before a conjugation test. "Apart from a conjugation dictionary do we need anything?"
booradley0000000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How many stars do you pass on the way to the moon?" The kid was 17, and the class was AP Physics.
jakefake3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I primarily teach social studies, but I teach one section of 7th grade health.
I made the assumption that every 7th grader knows how babies are made.
During one class period on the female reproductive system, we were having a mature discussion on pregnancy, the uterus, etc. One girl put her hand up and asked "So when do babies just show up in a woman's stomach? Like do they just appear all of a sudden at a certain age?"
I thought quickly on my feet, said we'll talk about that next week, e-mailed her parents, and they were grateful to have it as their opportunity to talk to her about the birds and the bees that night.
pyrocrastinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grade Chem, a student exclaims "Wait a second, tin can't evaporate, it's a metal!"
bekastek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In all fairness, I was approximately 15 before I realized that an atom is smaller than a cell. I had learned about them in juxtaposition and assumed their respective nuclei were the same size. It blew my MIND when my high school biology teacher told me that we've never seen an atom under a microscope before, in response to a stupid question of mine.
And for what it's worth, I'm currently applying to PhD programs in biochemistry.
zero_dgz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At one point in history, there might have been a high school that needed you. The offender is probably retired by now.
I once had my 9th grade Biology teacher go off on a 20 minute tirade about how microscopes are important because no one can see a single cell with the naked eye. She was not amused when I mentioned eggs in front of the entire class and illustrated that she was technically wrong.
The best kind of wrong.
HumbleSnek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher in 4th grade told us a story of when a car tried to run her over, to which one of my classmates asked with all seriousness "did you die?"
Skeatsie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was a teacher now a nursing student. Worst questions I have ever heard go to a classmate. Some winners are: "Does wine count as alcohol?" She was serious. And around the age of 28.
vacemindu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my French class, she asked "Where do they speak Portuguese other than Brazil?"
frivolous--thoughts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one girl in my high school geometry class asked "but why isn't a triangle a quadrilateral?" And the teacher literally patiently counted the sides and defined "tri" and "quad" and the girl still couldn't understand. She was confused about for the rest of the semester.
naturallyangry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peer of mine asked "what do ants eat" during math.
hazemarick44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: Your classmate won't be able to come to the training camp because she has scoliosis. She even has braces for it.
Another classmate asks me.
"What does the scoliosis have to do with teeth?"
V0rt3x91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once had an 8 y/o ask me how to spell 'ok'.
Kid: Sir, how do you spell ok? Me: Really? Kid: How do you spell ok? Me: o...k... Kid: yes, how do you spell ok? Other kids are giggling at this point. Me: it's spelt 'o' then 'k' Kid: thanks!
This child also asked me how to spell 'USA' as well a few months later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there's people who attend MIT. And there's people who can't spell MIT.
psycospaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No teachers involved, but my mom used to work for Hershey park and her job often inclued working info desks. One day she was working the desk in the arboretum with another young woman when she had an interesting interaction with a dad.
Dad: "Excuse me miss, what's that growing in the banana tree?"
My mom: "Bananas"
Dad: "look kids theres bananas in the banana tree!"
She also had a guy pull up next to her and ask for directions to the park because she was in uniform on her way home. Thing was she was standing beneath a massive Hershey Park โก sign.
TheSurgeonGeneral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If fossil fuels are so bad, then why don't cars just run off of nuclear power?
splee123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher...but here's kevin
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp/?st=iyg8ddo4&sh=f61fcb26
Malcatraz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are there such things as stupid questions?" (that's a Greg Johnson joke, FYI)
Mr_Peanutbutter12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a culinary arts instructor..."chef, where is the butter?"
muggle_marauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in a Humanities class (in high school, we were all 17 or 18) the teacher projected a picture of the Mona Lisa. A girl who was also in my AP studio art class asked if it was painted with acrylics.
Mexkimo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In reference to the anaconda plan: "Miss are there still snakes that big?"
dillow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Directions on a test said "Draw a duplicated chromosome. Label the centromere and sister chromatids." Student asked me what he was supposed to do for the problem. :(
reynardtfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I worked in a college cafeteria where I was once asked if the carrots we served were real...
mtnmedic10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student ask this gem on day 5 of a 7 day cardiology refresher
"Does ST elevation look like a STEMI?"
For those who dont know STEMI translates to ST elevation myocardial infarction.
stark_trooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I had to take a religion class back in college and one of the assignments was a group activity in class where we had to come up with different categories and compare different religions' beliefs in each category.
One group did religious holidays. This Jersey Shore-looking neanderthal gets up says, and I quote, "Lots of religions have holidays...like Christians have Christmas, and Jews have Hanukkah, and Buddhists have Ramadan."
elanshof2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Which one is the Pacific?"
--An 11th grader in an honors English class in a supremely high-achieving district.
rhythmofmadness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/s?!
wobbleboxsoldier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I do remember asking why does Curley keep his hand in a glove of Vaseline in Of Mice and Men.
bodash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl asked if "a brain transplant" was possible. Never laughed as hard
EuropeanLady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you laugh? She displayed natural curiosity. Plus, such experiments are being done on primates.
bodash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12 year olds laugh at such things, its a natural reaction. Still would laugh. Research doesnt equal results
EuropeanLady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:27 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She asked if it was possible, she didn't claim it had been done successfully.
bodash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:50 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its still funny...so whats your point? Her curiosity without previously considering the implications yeilded a funny situation.
EuropeanLady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:16 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I voiced my opinion. My opinion is that this student displayed commendable curiosity about a fascinating issue.
bodash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:12 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations, I'm sure theres a participation trophy awaiting you at the Reddit offices.
roccodai1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a T.A. for a beginner college math class a long time ago.
One day a (very pretty) student came into the room looking visibly flustered. Plopping down her assignment on the table she says "how do I solve this problem" but before I can get through it she cuts me off and points to another number of the assignment saying "how do I solve this one", she does this a couple of times getting more irritated and never letting me finish. Anyway, I try to be patient and walk her through the math problems, and when I am almost done explaining she asks "Which one is the x-axis and which one is the y-axis?".
She also couldn't figure out how to use her Scientific Calculator for basic functions, and I had to walk her through that too, wasn't easy because the more information I gave her the more frustrated she kept getting.
pooniahigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once a grad. Student who already got a college placement in an petroleum company said , while I was explaining something related to how the oil will evaporate and will catch fire. He said " what! How can oil evaporate ? If I keep oil in freezer it won't freeze , so how can it evaporate? " I literally had no words
Audrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do they get the sauce out of a buffalo to make buffalo wing hot sauce?"
somerandomdipshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is a front runner.
Irishwildheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a sub teacher I was showing an episode of Cosmos to a science class, one kid about 16 years old asks "sir, is he really flying around in that thing?"
The ship of the imagination had shrunk down and went inside a dew drop at this in the episode.....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the third grade I asked my DARE instructor if Reno 911 was real
TheKoopaGaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but the was this girl in my class always asking the stupidest questions. Once on carrear day a guy made a joke about when he went to school, "you rode dinosaurs there". She raised her hand and asked "Did you really ride a dinosaur to school?" She was dead serious. Everyone cracked up.
matteatsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When asked when microscopes were invented a student wrote "nucleus".
rhymeswithleaves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you say, "enchilada," in Spanish?
Theresno_I_in_Reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legit had a kid ask me how to spell P.E. before....He was in the 10th grade.
thechosenone1021 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
X
akalipls1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How did the bombers of 9/11 survive?"
sonnytlb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. Sonnytlb, what's your last name?"
ThickItalianSausage1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A high school senior once asked, "Is clay made from dirt?"
I wanted to jump out the 3rd story window
bg001x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this going to be on the text/quiz/exam?"
YES. WHY WOULD I WASTE MY BREATH TELLING YOU THIS IF I WASN'T GOING TO PUT IT ON THE EXAM?
College freshmen aren't the brightest.
NateDecker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had lots of instructors go on a tangent/aside or tell interesting facts that were not tested later. Sometimes it's worth it to provide information freely without any expectation of retention.
Ghostbuster_119 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be mean but I was in a class and a student asked this very question, to which the teacher replied "What's the dumbest question I've ever been asked?" "Probably yours right now, because even if I answer it all your getting in your quest for knowledge is an example of stupidity." "Congratulations"
MyLittlePoneh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had an entire class on Sputnik and satellites during high school. End of class teacher asks if anyone had questions and a young lady in the class asked "what is a satellite?"
AquaDigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that there definitely such things as stupid questions.
Mark8547 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I forget the exact context but I was talking about how it was difficult to travel somewhere because mountains were in the way.
Student: "If mountains were in the way why did't they just chop them down?"
Me: "... 'chop them down?' ...."?
Student: "Yeah."
Me: "Chop them down.... like a tree?"
Student: "Yeah!"
She looked at me like I was stupid. I wasn't sure how to answer that question. She was 15.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I have some pretty cringey stories from when I was in school. The one I remember most was in freshman biology (high school), and we were talking about bioaccumulation, and at the mention of plankton, some girl sitting near me blurts, "Wait, there's actually a thing called plankton? I thought it was just a name made up for SpongeBob!"
This was a regular 14-15 yo girl. How did you miss 3rd grade science?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "Do you have any questions?" crickets for 30 seconds Ok, then you may begin."
Student: "Wait what are we supposed to do again??"
It illicits groans from teachers and other students alike.
commieninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do we have to write this in French?"
I am a French teacher. I get this question way more than I should.
kariert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How am I supposed to know how long the Thirty Years' War lasted?!
Was an 9th grade student and yes, she was absolutely serious.
NateDecker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, the Hundred Year's war didn't last a hundred years.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but a girl asked in my class one time "when did 911 happen" i shit you not
Quityerbichin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many of these stupid questions are jokes that the awkward teachers on reddit didn't catch on to, or thought that the class was laughing with them instead of at them.
rantifarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if I fake tan, will my baby come out blacker?
16 year old in my class.
Kid came out pale as a ghost, so I guess not
Fabgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student. In high school Spanish class, one of our words was "pollo" which we were told meant chicken. Someone said they thought "gallina" was chicken. The teacher responded that in Mexico you would say pollo for "a dead chicken, the kind you eat". A girl shouts out "OMG! They eat DEAD chicken in Mexico?"
Ridley413 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in lecture junior year of college I was in a lab safety course and they were talking about different scenarios when a face shield would be necessary. A girl raised her hand and asked "what extra protection does a face shield give you compared to googles?"
The instructor just looked confused, paused and said "...the rest of your face"
NateDecker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For when the goggles, do nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NateDecker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That question doesn't seem as dumb as many of the others in this thread. Maybe the "dumb" part of it is the altitude. If you could drop a bagel from high enough, it would accelerate enough that it would incinerate in the atmosphere once it hit it.
LynnisaMystery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one of my classmates asked why we call it "the west coast". Turns out she thought California, the state she'd lived her entire 16 year life in, was located on the east coast around the Virginia area. It came as a shocker to her too that Alaska and Hawaii were not off the Mexican coast.
thepoliticalhippo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*stupidest
pilotlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I shared pomegranate with my students in southeast Louisiana. The back and forth went:
"Hey mister. This that stuff that grow on trees?"
"You mean, fruit?"
seanyboy9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A grown man was playing a trivia game(grown ass man probably 45) and the question was wich of the following is a continent a country and a island. When he answered wrong he looked up and asked, australia's a island. Then protested the game has a glitch and that Australia is connected to something. Im not a teacher nor him a student but still had to share
matTalmage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Around the holidays, I occasionally put one of those cheesy holiday Yule logs on my class projector as my students work. One of my seniors walked in and sincerely asked if the video was heating the classroom...
NateDecker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well projector bulbs are pretty bright and do produce a fair amount of heat ;)
volkov5034 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do other languages really exist? - Mind you this is a small and poor rural school but I was taken aback.
El_Giganto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my class said "she had never said anything stupid in her life". She was the type that made the classes go really slowly for everyone because she asked a lot of question. That's good on her, but it really sucked for those who did understand the class.
I laughed my ass off. She said so many stupid things in her life, but that's not even the point. I like to think I'm pretty clever, maybe I'm not, but I sure as hell do know a lot of smart people. We all say stupid shit all the time. Let alone her off all people never saying anything stupid. I said "that's statement is stupid it all by itself, so yeah you have".
syncopacetic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Discussing Alexander The Great in a second year history class in uni. Student next to me: They had gay people back then?
JJHashbrowns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher just a student who's heard stupid shit, a kid in my CP Sophomore Lit class asked the teacher, "When are we gonna use reading in real life?" Straight-faced....
Joie7994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's little sister once said this to her bio teacher: "The esophagus? Isn't that like the dinosaur with wings?"
drumultima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not my story, but I gotta share this.
My roommate TAs an orchestration class for the music department at an Ivy League school. He's a percussionist, so he was pretty excited when they got to the lecture about percussion in the orchestra. As they're going through the different instruments, one particularly enthusiastic student raised his hand when the xylophone came up.
"Why does the xylophone look like that? Isn't it supposed to be rainbow colored?"
He was thinking about the toy xylophones you give babies. He thought they all looked like that.
biorogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
late to the party but a coworker and I were in the classroom discussing a camping trip I had taken to Colorado. I was talking about the bears that would come around our camp site. This student, who mind you is 14 years of age, asked and I kid you not, "Wait, bears are real? I thought they were made up, y'know, like giraffes."
We had no response. I just stood there no believing what I had just heard.
WhatWasThatAbout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, is a penguin a bird?
GenrlWashington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a U.S. History teacher in junior high school that jokingly taught, during the revolutionary war period, that gorilla warfare was when we bright over gorillas from Africa and trained them to fight by hiding in the trees, then jumping down on the British soldiers and ripping off their limbs and beating them to death with them. He classified after that he was joking, and explained it correctly, but the day of the test people were still asking if they actually bright over gorillas to fight and some students still wrote the obviously wrong answer down on the test.
bwahhhnonamesleft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My year 7 English class was reading a period play, in which the characters were debating the merits of a round Earth theory. We ran out of time and had to pack up. At that point, a student, who had been totally engrossed, in all seriousness said "So what is it, round or flat?". Lovely girl, bless her, but geography was not her strong suit at that point.
Aschentei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a great question
desh_thiere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student ask me, "Did the ancient Egyptians talk like they wrote." I was confused and asked her what she meant. She then said, "I mean, do they speak by saying bird, bird, ankh, eye."
She was asking me if they spoke in hieroglyphs. It was hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student ask me "is Canada A continent?" I'm a teacher for a 7th grade history class in the United States. I was at a loss for words on how to respond to her.
ControlOptional ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grade girl asks me loudly, "Ms. ControlOptional, what's a scrotum?"
Me: "Really? Uh, maybe Google image search that when you get home today."
ForceDisciple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, not a teacher but when I was in the 7th grade my teacher asked the class what we thought were large cat breeds. I confidently and seriously shouted, "Cheshire cats!"
He went silent for a few moments while staring at me then started chuckling. The kicker was that the dude next to me said, "oh yeah I hear those get pretty big."
That was the day I learned that the Cheshire cat is fictional character and not a breed of cat. I still cringe to myself thinking about that.
thewhiterider256 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach middle school. A 7th grade student asked me what the "blue wires" were that run under her skin. I told her those are veins.
fleker2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh oh. She's a cyborg who's becoming self-aware. It's just like Terminator.
thewhiterider256 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, she got kicked out of school. The next year some kids in my class showed me videos of her beating the shit out of some girl at the local park. Then she went on house arrest. Good times. I teach in the hood btw.
astromagicman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a dude I used to work with thought that the Moon was further away from the Earth than the Sun. "But it looks smaller, that means it's further away right?" After I explained it to him he then asked: "Oh but won't the Moon melt during an eclipse then?" We were working on a building site, poor kid got so teased.
thejabiskey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but one of my classmates in chemistry asked where adamantium is on the periodic table.
AsymptotesMcGotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid asked why I wrote an upside down 6 on the board. He knew what a 9 was but he was heckling me and not as witty as he thought.
TheMmaMagician ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are the course fees in US or Canadian dollars?"
Conservative-Penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but: Someone in my global history class who thinks she is very smart and is always rude to others for not knowing something asked if anyone died during the bombing of berlin in WWII. In 9th grade. She followed up by asking if anyone died in WWII. Smh.
Crazy_Battlesheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin
Mechatrolysis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher but a classmate of mine back in 8th grade proposed this question to my poor health teacher when we were learning about the menstrual cycle; "Mr. ****, what would happen if you went down on your wife when she was on her period..have you ever?... Were you just like; ALALALALALALA? (violently licking the air in-front of his face)"
danarchy77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A high school senior once asked if there would be a word bank on his multiple choice test
Unemployed_Astronaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl in my class asked why America and Japan are so far apart on a map when they're so close together on a globe.
ZaMr0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student in my economics class in Year13 (17-18 year olds) managed to confuse the Eurozone with the Eurotunnel.
TheBrianJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I guarantee this is the stupidest question he heard...
In 7th grade, my Social Studies teacher introduced us to Karl Marx. A girl raised her hand and said "Is he related to Groucho?"
The teacher stared at her for a few seconds, then said "I'm not even going to dignify that question with a response" and continued his lesson.
FuriousGreenTNTRL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student once asked, "Is the movie Independence Day based off a true story?"
howkflakegirl1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A British friend of mine who is 23 years old couldn't remember whether the current British queen was Queen Elizabeth 1st, 2nd or 3rd. She also asked us what the capital of Afghanistan is before asking 'Is it Iraq or Iran?'
parada45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the US
Once in a French class someone asked if animals have different accents
Trundlegiggle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student once asked me how recycled paper was turned into new trees.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thehymen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In highschool? Feel like that's not too dumb of a question XD.
Javi82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of these questions are good builds the case for there really aren't any wrong questions
Nipple_Dick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you spell GCSE!
sonofbrice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but....
My cousin moved from London to Pebble Beach, Cali. One of his new school mates asked him, "Why is your country named after our language?"
lfrfrepeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a health teacher and we were discussing fetal development.
While talking about gestation, a student genuinely asks (albeit with nerves), "Can like, a human swim inside a whale's vagina?"
No one laughed. We were all dumbfounded.
After gathering my thoughts, we concluded that it was plausible, but only if the orifice was open; however, the diver would probably get crushed once it closed.
baccgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I did have to explain to a fellow year 7 student that in math, "division" and "goes/going into" were the same bloody thing!
TudorMaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If the Earth is really round and spins so fast, why aren't we constantly being splashed with water?" - American sophomore
napolneon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher (yet!)
I'm in University, and last year I was taking a fourth year Renaissance Theatre class. There was a lot of focus on Shakespeare among a few other authors. We were assigned presentations, so each week someone had to present on the topic/work that we were reading. One girl was doing a presentation on Two Noble Kinsmen (a play written by John Fletcher and William Shakespeare). The girl had a picture up on the projector of William Shakespeare (probably one of the most well known pictures of Shakespeare ever). My friend sitting next to me kept looking at me like I should be saying something, so when I wouldn't engage (because it's rude to talk during a presentation), she raised her hand and said "Were John Fletcher and Shakespeare related? Because he looks a bit like Shakespeare in that picture"
I fucking lost it laughing, looked at her and said "Dude, that is Shakespeare". My prof looked like she was trying to keep it together, but politely asked me if I needed a minute to collect myself outside.
Brianthecatato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in highschool we had a sub in astronomy and he was rambling about who knows what when out of the blue this girl asks "wait... If we have airplanes why don't we have land and water planes?" The whole class got quite at the wrong time and all you heard was me saying "bitch, do you mean cars and boats?" The whole class erupted in laughter. The sub found it funny enough to not write me up.
Jusgivechees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this happened in a high school class (3rd year i believe). It was in a lit class and we were going over a short story in which there was a quarantined area mentioned in said story. The girl raises her hand and says "Wait, isn't quarantine a disease that gets into the ocean?"
Another one from my economics class my 4th year. Econ professor was talking about how to cite sources for our paper. Different girl raises her hand and asks "Instead of the author, can we just put the person who wrote it?" This was a senior in high school....what.
I'm sure i have more, but those are definitely the most memorable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my colleagues asked me (after we were supposed to be teaching it for a few days), "Why does the textbook say tenths are bigger than hundredths?"
bobk2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were comparing the distance from NY to San Francisco via the Panama Canal vs the long way around Cape Horn, and I was asked, "Why not go straight across?" "In a boat?" "Yes!" Evidently the US is water and the oceans are land.
MayneMan08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened a few years ago. I was teaching 9th graders and I forget why, but we were on the subject of state capitals in conjunction with whatever we were doing. (I teach English, so state capitals don't come up very often). One girl in my class asked very innocently, "So, what's our capital?".
At first I thought she was being a smart-ass, so I said something back like "Oh, you know what it is." But she kept repeating the question as the other students in class just turned to look at her. I finally realized that she was completely serious, so answered "Sacramento."
Our school is located in Sacramento. She didn't know the state capital of California is Sacramento. While she was enrolled in a Geography class. In Sacramento.
I still think about this moment and how she's doing in life.
zakaravan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but this question is indeed very stupid that I overheard. This is back when the big earthquake in Haiti happened. So my school had little donation baskets in every room where you could donate goods that would go to the Haiti relief effort. Now I went to a small country school in Western PA and we had our fair share of dumbass rednecks. It's study hall. Small school so all grades are in the study hall. One of these aforementioned dumb rednecks who was a senior at the time was quizzically staring at the donation box. Then suddenly breaking the silence of sleeping teenagers and people doing homework he asks "Who's Haiti and why does she need our help?". He never lived that down until the day he graduated.
MischiefManaged55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher, but for the longest time my friend (16 years old, from Germany) thought that obama was the pope?
tamethewild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came for Kevin. Am dissapoint.
Kevin: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/
PjsandPi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had just come back from maternity leave and one of my 9th graders was asking about my baby. Mostly normal questions until he asked, "So does he have his eyes open yet?" I kind of had to pause..... The other 9th graders had to remind him that I did have a HUMAN baby, not a cat.
Aschentei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a victim of this. In middle school during sex Ed class I literally asked my teacher, "doesn't the guy have to work more because?" and I proceeded to do the humping motion...
Let me tell you how the class reacted...I don't want to
Idontdoburnouts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once in grade school asked why the oceans were salty if all the rivers were fresh water ... I was made to feel so stupid that when I noticed that the coast S.A. looks like it would fit in the coast of Africa I didn't speak up. ps. I'm still stupid but at least I know you are but what am I.
all4ever15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time I had a brownie on my desk and I kid you not a student said, "Wow, that is a weird looking muffin." They were dead serious.....
RedRtHand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in retail. Several years ago we got a new store manager. During our first staff meeting with her she introduces herself: "Hi, I'm Kelly. It's nice to meet you all. I've been with the company for ten years. I don't have any kids, but I have a chocate lab."
Another supervisor perks up and exclaims "Wow! That's so interesting! So, do you eat the chocolate that you make or sell it?"
oxrawwrrxo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When i was in college, i was in a course talking about Marx and alienation in the workplace. This one girl raised her hand up cause she was confused and asked something on the lines of "when Marx talks about alienation, is he talking about aliens?" I remember just looking at her and then back to my teacher and his face was just like wtf. Lol she was pretty fucking weird though
drunkinthekitchenyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These are great. I am trying not to laugh too audibly as my students watch Romeo and Juliet kill themselves.
Htooms1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Several of my coworkers are at lunch and we had the TV on and something about SATURDAY Nigh Live came up and the Office manager said "I should watch that show but I don't know what time it's on?" OK so the entire room froze thinking we are being trolled. So me being the brave one(she was either the sweetest person or satan) asked her if she was serious? Then it gets weird and well.. She ask "yes I'm serious I don't watch the fucking show what day is it on?" So I say very very slowly " you don't know what nite SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE is on?" she is still fuming and mad I have not answered the question. So I repeat my question it dawns on her and all hell broke loose she called me every name in the book and did not speak with me for several months.
EDDad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Does the sun have bones?"
WoodenWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is the dictionary in alphabetical order?"
An "Oh my God" instantly sounded off somewhere in the class.
Donkyrapingshiteatr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I had a fellow student who couldn't remember if the Energizer bunny was for Duracell or Energizer and asked me which one it was. He was totally serious too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why does that actress always play an Asian woman?"
TaedW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually my wife's story from her 5th grade class a few years ago, but it's my favorite of all of her school stories. Teacher is my wife, and Student is one of her 5th graders. When she does sex ed every year, she has open question time, where the kids can ask any sex question they want.
[I had originally posted this years ago on \r\TeacherTales.]
hanhendricks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 6th grade a boy in my class was reading a story out loud. The sentence was something along the lines of: "The family packed the moving van and left for their new home." He asked the teacher "Wait, how would you pack a moving van? That's gotta be hard if it's not staying still."
DocDingus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so late to this party, but I have a few stories.
From my student teaching days, I gave the students an assignment to write their opinion on some topic. One of the kids just sat there, not doing much for a few minutes. I went to check in on him, to see if he had questions. "I don't know how to do it," he says. "What's an opinion?" This student was in 7th grade.
In my last year of teaching, I was teaching World Geography to a class of 7th graders. I literally had a student who could not identify the country that she was currently sitting in. I literally had no idea how to respond, so I started saying the words of the Pledge of Allegiance to her. It didn't help.
nadiamose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once gave my class a short story with the author's name on it and the date of publishing. The author was a man and the date was 1930. One student, age 18, asked me, if I had written that myself! (I am 28 years old and female)
bertabeef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In grade 8 I once asked a teacher what a scrotum was. My friends were laughing that I didn't know what it was. So I got the dictionary and was flipping threw it when the teacher walked by and asked what I was looking up. I told him, "Scrotum. Do you know what it means?" He turned bright red and walked back to his desk. That was an embarrassing day
R82017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the first grade I recall this kid raising his hand during the abcs and the teacher is all What have we learned here today class , this kid stands up and says " yeah ,can I go poppy tomorrow ?" The whole classs laughed for ten minutes straight
MandiPandaBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a guy in middle school (grade 7) screw with our poor Ukrainian math teacher. We were learning about negative numbers.
"So if 2 negatives make a positive, why don't 2 wrongs make a right?"
She was not a native English speaker so it went right over her head. I didn't care much because I didn't like her, but that kid was a dick.
AdolescentCudi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but when I was a freshman (not that long ago) these 2 girls in my English class asked if Islam was a country. Yes, they were serious. No, it was not a joke.
Tommy_Bigges ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my anatomy and physiology class we were talking about how hormones influence the growth of various tissues, including how males generally have deeper voices as a result of testosterone levels. A student raised her hand and asked "is that why gays have higher voices? Because of their lower testosterone?" Never want to make a student feel dumb, but wow, didn't know where to begin with that one. Oh yeah, this is a college class.
almightyjew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In physics class the teacher projected the Earth orbit around the sun. A girl then asks; "teacher, how long does it take for the Earth to make 1 lap around the sun?"
She was serious.
downtownabrown1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time in one of my higher level Spanish classes in HS, this girl asked how to rhyme in Spanish
colorstoobright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I know someone who is a professor at Stanford Law. Someone wrote that Russell Crowe was the 13th president of the United States on her exam.
PirateKingOfPenzance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why was Stanford Law asking who the 13th president was?
colorstoobright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She also teaches HS remedial classes, I believe. Not honestly sure. It's been awhile since I heard this story.
DeadlyMonkeyz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in grade 10 English I herd a girl ask, "What is Shakespeares last name?"
MoshizZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the UK. Once in Geography one of the girls asked "Is Coventry a country?"
It's less than a hours drive away from where we live.
She was the sexiest girl in our entire school.
tehawesomedragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"When are we ever going to need this information?"
Metal_Daddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a student punch 3.5 x 1 in their calculator, as soon as they saw the answer a look of shame washed across their face.
JytteAzelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but someone in my human physiology class asked if black people have black semen.
MemesOnAStick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/iheartdna
Smuon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student once ask me if he had to learn by heart that there were 24h in a day and that it took 365 days for the earth to rotate around the sun.
grumpykittyfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a middle school student ask in complete sincerity, "Was popcorn around in the 70s?"
ramboT3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some kid in upper division college history class asked what Wooly Mammoth tasted like.
Whole class looked around at each other like is this kid serious.
StopMeWhenIveHad16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today I was explaining a family tree poster project that my students would be completing. After I explained the basics, I asked if anybody had any questions. One student called me over and said, "My family doesn't have any trees." I wasn't sure what she meant at first so I had to ask for some clarification. She said, "Like, my family doesn't have any trees in our house, so, what should I do?" I then explained that she did not need to bring an actual tree to class.
runnerbum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach kids with emotional impairments. During health class I have a time when students can ask any question to me, no matter how silly. We were on our human sexuality unit (sex edu) and I had a student who would ask me some interesting questions. Here they are a few..
miyakohouou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember as a kid hearing about how awful HIV was and how you got it from "sex" a long time before I ever actually understood what sex was. Nobody ever explained enough about the mechanics, so I thought it was just a thing that people spontaneously developed from doing anything that I thought was sexual (e.g. kissing). I could totally see how a kid might have that kind of misunderstanding.
governmentyard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once as a child during the whole "Don't die of ignorance" campaign in the UK watched a doctor talking about the whole business and his phrasing was a little off. He was saying "there's many myths about AIDS. You can't catch it from half the things people think you can. you can't catch it from sitting on the toilet seat, kissing and cuddling..." and on he went.
My infant mind was bemused as to why two people would sit on the toilet to kiss and cuddle.
Given my ignorance, it's kind of lucky I didn't die.
DevilsLittleChicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not teacher. The missus is. I'm a Student Relations Officer. I get asked some daft questions... however she could write a book.
"Will my password have changed now that I'm 17?" one girl asked her. Their default password is their date of birth.
When told that the English Language had changed much over the last 500 years, one student remarked "500 years ago? Weren't we all monkeys then?"
Yes love. And some of us still are.
gobbluth803 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught grade 5 and had a police officer come in to talk about cyber bullying. When the presentation was over the officer opened for questions. The first question was, "Is it illegal for a 10 year old to drive a horse?"
His uncle had let him ride a horse the weekend before.
jlange94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I have a friend who once asked the health teacher during sex week, ver batim "Can you get pregnant from sperm in the butt?"
Confirmed_AM_EGINEER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wheres the Superglue?
*Superglue is stuck to their thumb.
qwibbian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LPT: whenever anyone tells you "there are no stupid questions", ask them "like what?"
mikeiscool81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only stupid people
Insipid_Pedantry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No stupid questions just lots of stupid people
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the late 80's and I taught in a computer lab at a tech trade school (for what was called in those days) data processing. Since this was a technical trade school the students were all older, some in their 40's or 50's even. The lab courses were usually pretty easy, even for a time when computers weren't near as common as they are now. Many of the computing courses required access to a terminal workstation that was connected to a mainframe.
One of the classes I taught lab for was the BASIC programming language. As its name suggests it's quite a simple language to learn and is usually the first programming language students are taught (at least in those days, I don't know about today) in order to demonstrate basic computing concepts to students.
I had one student, I'll call him Brian, who was not only falling behind but was probably on the verge of being kicked out of the school. They gave me the task of trying to do some one-on-one tutoring with him in order to help him catch up with the lab courses that he was failing.
One vital concept of programming is the idea that a variable can hold, or store a value in the program's memory. Attempting to use a metaphor to explain this ridiculously simple concept I explained "Think of a variable as a box where you store something. Lets suppose for example that I were to put a bar of chocolate into a box. Later when I reach into the box and draw out the item that I had stored there earlier, what will I get?"
Expecting the answer that even a child would give, "chocolate", I was surprised when Brian said the answer back immediately: "fudge?"
The year was 1987 -- I recently googled this guy's name and found out that years ago he spent time in and out of prison -- so while the above story is kind of funny, it's also pretty damn sad.
lajamey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 9th grade student ask me, "Is Obama the President of Texas like he is for the United States?"
deviantjedi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in high school I had this fine moment. In Spanish class, the teacher asks me to translate a passage (written in English). I say, "sure, in what language?" He looks at me dumbfounded but quickly recovers to say, "how about in Swahili." I thought, "yep, I'm not too bright."
Omnideficient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a sophomore. We were doing heating curves in regents chem. Late in the unit we were looking at the heating curve of benzene and a kid raises his hand and asks "How does the boiling point of the water change from graph to graph?" The kid thought every heating curve was of water...
duncurr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in a high school art class, there was a small exchange between a classmate and the teacher that went something like this:
Teacher: "Now this is our only Romanian artist."
Classmate: "Is he Italian?"
Cracked me right up.
VolJin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a class when a friend of mine asked my teacher "what are those vertical lines on the board?"
They were ones.
QuentinTarzantino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but was asked by a British student where I was from. I replied "Norway", she had no clue where that was. This was in Switzerland at an international school.
G00Punch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is the technological term for a pussy?" This was in a sophomore biology class at an inner city school.
Captain__Friendship ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student once asked me if all of the nuclear bombs detonated in the 60s created the Grand Canyon
therealcaptainweenie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were reading The Odyssey and a student asked me if there really was an island with a giant cyclops on it. At first I was really confused because I was like in the book, yeah! But she was like no, right now. After figuring out she was being 100 percent serious I had to explain that The Odyssey was fictional which meant it didn't really happen.
King_clopton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in eight grade was in class and the kid next to me asked me how to spell "eve".
PirateKingOfPenzance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
E- A-V-E
lalatconpenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a uk secondary school teacher and I overheard a 16 year old student asking her friends 'how do you spell PVA?' And another kid answered 'PEVA' I had to hide the fact I nearly wet myself laughing.
pmmlordraven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student ask me if she can still get pregnant if he drinks mountain dew before hand, since it supposedly kills sperm.
Another student asked how to spell DNA... not like Deoxyribonucleic acid or anything. But "dee-en-ay".
StateofWA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was when I was in school (although I am now a teacher):
"Can you get pregnant from giving head?"
She was serious.
crunchthenumbers01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For humanity's sake I hope you told her yes.
StateofWA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol naw, I was in her class and the teacher handled it without laughing.
Had a huge crush on the girl before she said it, tho
MayorOfSizzleTown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student --who was pregnant -- ask if she could get "double-pregnant." I made her go ask the health teacher.
scareschool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that is a repeated storyline in soaps.
urdutotke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student asked, "Why two and two makes four?"
Fbear17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend teaches 5th grade and her student asked "did African Americans own slaves too?"
PirateKingOfPenzance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, they did.
derlangsamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If Haiti has massive deforestation how do they breath?"
mauri_k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but an 9th grade classmate of mine asked the teacher if everything was black and white back in early 20th century
Catnip411 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My senior year of high school on the first day of government class our teacher handed us a map of the US and told us to try and label the states. We went over it and when we were done one of the girls raised her hand and with the most serious face asked, "but there's 52 states isn't there?" When asked 'what are the other states' she said she didn't know but she was sure that there was 52 states.
skushner35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach psychology. I was introducing Sigmund Freud. A student asks, "Isn't that the guy in the circus with tigers?" She was referring to siegfried and roy
Phyniverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching German to 10th graders when one of them asked "Don't people speak spanish in Hawaii?"
thehuskycorgi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in 5th Grade and a kid asked if Snakes go to school, btw he did not have any disabilities or special needs.
stuckit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh , I think he did...
ehzrazil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a private tutor.
Among some of the things I've had to answer:
1) "If the question says to leave the answer in terms of 'e', then do I leave it in terms of 'e'?
2) [student is taking calculus] "Wait this shit was from pre-calculus last year. Why do we have to do pre-calculus?"
3) [same student in calculus] "Wait this was from the last chapter. Why do we still have to know it for this chapter?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It why male models?
sheetcreek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work with mildly autistic kids so not a stupid question from his point of view but "why do parents bother coming to parents evening?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever question I literally just fucking answered.
WhenTheBeatKICK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i am not a teacher, but i heard something at work that a college-educated coworker asked me that is equivalent to a child's question. Thi almost 30-year old asked me "what do you think cardboard is made out of?"
ctcrawford1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Freshman year of high school, this girl in my American History class thought that Pearl Harbor was a boat...
bunnienosee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in high school as a senior, a girl asked my history teacher if it's possible to swim under the continents.
jerdiaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a college vertebrate zoology course while the professor was discussing how long it took elephants to reach sexual maturity, one of my classmates asked: "was that in human years or elephant years?"
newpalladium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the game, but, just today a 6th grader asked while taking a test, "If we leave it blank and don't answer it, will we lose points?"
"...Yes."
This is not the first time this question has been raised.
burton_button ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a science museum educator, and the amount of people who think that jupiter is bigger than the sun is astounding. Anyway, the best questions come from little kids. My favorite so far has been a small boy who very quietly asked me "can I eat the sun?"
citrussnatcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question but one of the kids in my chemistry class was asked to name 4 elements. I guess they forgot it was chem because they answered: "Fire, water, air, earth" Really didn't see that one coming. Don't think they ever lived it down.
walkingmorty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When did we walk on mars?
Kikifoun_Unui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At College. Had a classmate interrupt the professor with this, "hold on, why is there an east United States when the US is in the west?"
jizzlefizzle55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were taking about WWll and general warfare when a kid asked what the record for longest sniper shot is. Being the curious one I am I looked it up to find the longest recorded shot was a little over a mile and a half. One kid in the back as serious as could be asked me "That's what like 2 football fields?" Luckily the other kids did it for me to inform him he was wrong. They weren't as nice about it though. It took everything in me not to laugh at him.
crash1082 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly though, I love stupid people they say hilarious things.
UsernameChecksOut56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/storiesaboutkevin
Graendal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Canadian living in the US and I volunteered at a high school the first year I was here. The students were very curious about me being Canadian. One question I got was, "Did you vote for the Queen?"
superted88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you spell "zig zag"?
Aopap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
zeg zage
theraythunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very late, but a girl in my history class asked, "Do Jews still exist?"
wargasm40k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was in ROTC, our Sgt Major told us there was no such thing as a stupid question, so I asked why his head was shiny.
King_clopton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that kind. To be oddly more specific, we we're in a private school and had Christian curriculum. The eve he was referring to was Adam and Eve.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one right here
billnyes_bowtie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but during my junior and senior years I was in an Air Force Junior ROTC program and we had a planetary astronomy class we took our senior year. During the unit on the gas planets, one of the students asked "Could we take a match into space... And blow up Jupiter?"
Beccabooisme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my freshman year English class we were reading some classic, potentially Of Mice and Men, maybe To Kill a Mockingbird, can't quite remember. A classmate of mine kept asking these very simple questions like "wait, what did the character do? " and such, very clearly he had not done the reading. I, the quiet girl of the classroom, finally raise my voice and say "maybe if you had read the book you would know the answers to your questions." Teacher kinda looks at me with shock and thanks as classroom does the collective "oooooh."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach low-level government to 12th graders...some of which are of voting age. I get a TON of dumb questions but even dumber answers.
One girl in particular cracks me up every time we take a current event quiz. One that stands out from her was the answer to a question asking: "What East African nation is in the middle of mass protests" ... This was an open notes quiz ... her answer was simply "Ohio"
She is a functioning student who wasn't trolling or trying to be funny....she simply had no clue that Ohio is not located in Eastern Africa...
Hoorayyyy social studies education in public schools! /s
MartianBitwell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but there was a person in my high school graduating class who became infamous for sincerely asking the question: "How do you spell orange? Not the color, but the fruit."
rabidwampa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching American history about 15 years ago, a student asked if we had any chance of the buffalo returning to the wide open fields on the prairie. Another student asked "What's a buffalo?" I said well, actually they're not buffalo, they're bison. "What's a Bison?" Well, it's like a hairy cow? I didn't know how to explain it. Brought in a picture the next day.
PM_Nice__Boobs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my classmates asked my teacher "What's better, satisfactory or non-satisfactory?"
raxtrae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do we have any questions?" "When's lunch" "Do we have any questions about math?" "What's a dinner roll?"
histeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was teaching about the African Trading Kingdoms...a student asked "ohhhh so Mr. Histeach Gonorrhea comes from Ghana!?" Priceless. Those things make me laugh and love my job.
ShitBreakKrakken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend at a bonfire after a highschool football game asked 'will my black socks make my legs tan faster near the fire since it attracts heat?'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Aopap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow at least when i was a kid i thought they open the belly with a surgery
pinkdemoness24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is a carpenter someone that lays carpet?" From a college student.
Aopap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so ehh what is a "carpenter"
Brosklarv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They make shit out of wood
Aopap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh right duh
VeryDerison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What part of the United States is China in?"
ronscoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a professor, but was in a chemistry class that just got done studying molecular structure of certain substances and a classmate asked the professor "why do sharp things cut things?" The professor promptly responded with laughter
RichardCranium_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching about CFLs containing mercury vapor, and a student (high school freshman) asked if they had to go to Mercury to get it.
sugarbannana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but still in graduation year. This year, a student in my Hebrew class asked, what the four German cases are. (We live in Germany) You basically learn this in primary school and I don't know how yoh can make it to grad year without knowing this.
(This just sounds a very little dumb to some other questions here, but it was still so shocking)
Aopap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok so that are the "four German cases"
sugarbannana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you wanted to say what? http://german.about.com/od/grammar/fl/The-Four-German-Noun-Cases.htm
sugarbannana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you wanted to say what? http://german.about.com/od/grammar/fl/The-Four-German-Noun-Cases.htm
Irishtigerlily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is a 49% a C?
iBobRoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one
*stupidest
cash me ouside, howbow dah
kpmarsh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher, but in the class. It was a college physics class, we were learning about magnets and one student asked if you could see the magnetic lines of force.
Solodolo21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, but a witness
a kid asked a question about the Code of Hammurabi:
"So does that mean if you hump a camel the camel gets to hump you?"
Redminty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid per se, but, my young ones often ask what people did after they died, what they did before they were born, and so on. That gets interesting.
tintiddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Stupidest.
phantomkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 3rd grade: Our smartest kid was flipping through his agenda and landed on a spot in the calendar that said something like "John McDonald's Birthday". Excitedly he shows it to me and goes on about how this man was the first prime minster of Canada during these years and what he did. Now keep in mind we're in a school in Texas. I just raised my eyebrows and said, "I'm not even going to argue with you. I'll take your word for it."
Cue one of the most clueless kids in class: "Did he come from McDonald's?"
Oh, honey.
throw_away0120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate once asked "Who was president during the revolutionary war? George Washington?"
This was 8th grade
foodbucketfanpage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 4th grade I once answered that the US was in South America. I was confused by the local car commercials which talked about 'Southern California car dealers' and mistook that for South America.
MissyJingles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a nurse, not a teacher. Got this question about organ donation:
"Is she going to donate her brain?"
ManosPer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but once in an astronomy presentation, a 8 year old kid wanted to ask me a question in the end of the presentation which started like: ''40 years ago, where dinosaurs existed, ...''.
Sacred_Silly_Sack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do we have a test today?" The day after an exam.
Elzam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh lord I just mentioned the classic "We have a test today?" the day of with weeks warning in another post, but this one's a favorite of mine.
nektro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no stupid questions, just questions that deserve stupid answers.
scherzophrenic86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't teaching at this time, but in an undergraduate music history class, we were watching highlights from an opera. Around the act break, as two factions are about to start a brawl, a group of Romani (called "gypsies" in the libretto) come out for a ballet segment (in the narrative they're trying to diffuse the tense situation). The professor is explaining all this and one of my classmates asks, "are gypsies prostitutes?" As in, she thought "gypsy" was an occupation.
deej363 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but once someone asked in class "Are humans plants or animals?" This was 8th grade.
smakmickey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I put my finger in it?" "No." Licks the cd drive.
1st graders are awesome. They just require a special level of attention.
alexmd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student in my world history class ask what the difference between US and World History was. She was blond.
Sanguinarie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a classmate ask if oral sex was dirty talking through the phone.
NeoKnife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened during a genetics unit in one of my 8th grade science classes.
Question 1: "So is that why white and black people cant have babies, because they're different species?"
Question 2: "So does chocolate milk come from brown cows?"
ThePioneer72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this was in an into to bio class during my undergrad.
Long hair, hippy-ish, dress wearing teacher: "Okay, so who can tell me about the big bang?"
Blonde girl who looked like she dipped her face into a fondue fountain of make up: "Wasn't that, like, the dinosaurs?"
She was probably confused with theory that a meteorite killed the dinos? Idk, laughs ensued.
Deepsunz5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The exact same question that the student before them asked.
RavvQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but will share my story anyway. We've had a physics lesson about a pressure and how the larger and larger area is making it lower despite force being constant. So our teacher brought up a real life example which was when people are drowning because the ice on a lake cracked under their feet, the best way to rescue them is to put a ladder on the ice and walk on it (increasing the area = reducing pressure on ice - thus making it less likely to crack the ice). After hearing this one girl asked if putting a ladder on the ice will make a drowning person float instead of drowning. Entire class exploded with laughter...
Rednikjow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Robin Hood is a fox, right?"
Avol25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's a dildo?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher (me): So you are going to write a short essay about this book. It doesnt need to be a full sized essay, just one paragraph introducing a point you want to make, one point arguing about that point and a third point emphasizing why this argument is important to the book.
Student 1: How long should each paragraph be?
Teacher: About 3-5 sentences for the introduction and conclusion and just write until you are done arguing or until you hit the page limit.
Student 2: Do we have to write in point form or full sentences?
Teacher: (What I wanted to say) Bitch we just went over the sentence count.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a few I heard while in high school:
"Guys, what's Auschwitz? I don't know what that is."
"Is Africa a country?"
"Isn't a Cantelope like an animal or something?"
"Do they have trees in China?" said as a picture of the Great Wall was on the board.... with trees in the background.
cajungator3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a college history class about the Medieval time period and some dude asked the professor "When did the pilgrims land in America". The professor actually asked him to leave the class.
Karefree2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(returning from absence) "Did I miss anything?"
ThePanchamBros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a kid today in Social Studies asked if there are potatos in Brazil.
Dicknosed_Shitlicker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy at the beginning of an undergraduate statistics class come to me with a question about his calculator. He said "When I put in something like '6-8' is the six coming out of the eight or is the eight coming out of the six?" I was like "Dude, if that's where you're at right now, you may want to take another course."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any philosophical question in an algebra 1 class
_Dorbii_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but Had a friend in Highschool get surprised that when you get a cut the blood comes from veins. She thought it just kind of filled our bodies similar to water in a balloon...
TripinRick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One student asked me how many genders there were, I said 2 and he started crying.
JoelSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Sex Ed circumcision got brought up. One student said completely serious "I don't understand how they live without balls."
barelypixelated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but had another girl in my class ask 'so, where's Asia? I mean, I know what it is but, like, is it in Australia?'
Der_Docker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 7th grade one of my classmates asked if the DDR was created by Hitler.
Zoomwafflez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my 8th grade class we had a girl who was a bit of an air head, while discussing the chaos that happened that one time they broadcast War of the Worlds on the radio and how people didn't realize it was fictional she raised her hand and said "oh yeah, I remember that! I saw the crashed UFOs in England!" Keep in mind we had literally just finished talking about how this was a fictional story. Everyone in the class just stared at her for a few moments in utter silence.
jacoriem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So did you go to school to teach Science or did you major in something else? Mind you this is in the middle of my Science class.
N1ceCupOfTea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a group of girls in my class. One of them started with something along the lines of "ok so when did ww2 end and what was the start of ww3?" Deadly serious. All her her friends laughed at her until one of them piped up to explain why she was wrong. "How the he'll could there have been all these other wars? We're still in world war 1 you idiot" They were 12 years old and we had been studying 20th century Britain.
twochaudio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you lean so damn far To the left? People are getting hip To you teachers
AlphynKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my classmates in 7th grade (12-13 year olds) once asked "Isn't Marilyn Monroe that person who flew around the world in a ship?"
Swibblestein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student at the time, but hey I'm working on becoming a teacher, so...
Anyway. This was a stupid question, not because it was stupid to want an answer, but because the girl did not think asking the question through at all.
It was in a health class, and we were in a sex-ed segment. The teacher made some comment about the composition of semen, and one of the girls in the class speaks up and asks "wait, if it has sugar in it, why doesn't it taste sweet?", before promptly realizing what she asked and burying her now bright-red face in her arms.
Like I said, it's a legitimate question, but... Not the smartest thing to ask all the same.
thingstodont ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but.....Was in Federal Prison in Cumberland,MD...whole lot of dudes were from the Washington D.C. area. One day we were at work looking at a U.S. map and he noticed the state of Washington in relation to where we were in Maryland and made the statement "No wonder I don't get any visits from my family, we all the way over here and Washington is all the way over here" Smh....
TheWelshChucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but doing A Level Geography, talking about continents and countries and a lad in my class said in front of everyone 'China is in the middle east'
Blade2587 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher and this didn't happen at school but when i was in high school my friends and I went to lunch at McDonalds and one of my friends asked if the cheesburger came with cheese. The cashier just looked at him and didn't know if he was serious or just fucking around with her for our sake. Nope, he was dead serious and me and the other guys in the group just looked at him like...really dude? That was an awkward 5 seconds of silence and awe
arafella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my younger brother asked his French teacher on the first day of class: "Do French people dig holes?"
Yeah.
SleepyBojazzles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread only further confirms I can never become a teacher because if anyone asks me shit like this I'll look at them like they've grown 3 heads and a tail.
BeastaBubbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well if second is secondary, then what's firstondary?" "Do they have churches in Mexico?" "Do they have God in Mexico?" "Do they have schools in Mexico? Like... Buildings schools." 17 year olds. There's worse. There's plenty. I should keep a log.
Jaesaces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my 8th grade science class once asked how we know that dinosaurs aren't just hiding under the surface of the Earth.
_Milgrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
simpsonshead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Around October, I had a fourth grade student ask, "How do you spell h?"
Wondering if he was kidding, I looked at him. He wasn't, but he did quickly realize the ridiculous question. Now it's an inside joke for the class.
I think he meant how do you spell how...
kyles24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So many people are so fucking stupid. No wonder we're doomed.
binhdoingit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7th grade Geography class, teacher was talking about animals being poached in Africa and a kid in the back asked "is that how they make zebra cakes?" and was completely serious.
pita_pocket774 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I'm a chaperone for a middle school (grades 6-8) ski club (a club that offers students discounted lift tickets and a bus ride up to the local ski resort a few days during the winter) It was the first trip and I was helping kids fill out information for ski/snowboard rentals; they had to fill out basic information: name, address, school, etc. I was helping the one girl fill out her information when we got to a question asking for shoe size. The girl turns to me and asks "what's my shoe size?" I had no words.
MistrWintr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This bitch I used to work with claimed to have all kinds of social media experience, business experience, etc, but she ended up just being the owner's friend with just an Instagram and Pintrest. We're in a meeting and going over quarterly numbers when she asks, "what about the numbers from the fifth quarter?"
sweadle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These mostly aren't stupid questions. A lot of them are surprising questions, that come from deductive reasoning (do whales cause tsunamis?)
As an actual teacher, I am sad that these students are treated as if their questions are stupid. The answer seems obvious if you know it, but we all learned these things at some point.
Lanilegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm way at the bottom of this but I had a high school student ask if a woman swallowed a camera to get the footage of a baby in the womb then asked if she pooped it out along with the baby
littledrdan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher, but i was a student in the class, and one girl asked, "I know my heart is in my chest, but since I can feel it in my wrist, does that mean it moves?"
sostupidithurtsme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
90% of questions on ELI5 which could be googled, or the premise of the question is false. ie 'since the sun is cold, why is it warm in the sun?'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my own stupid question. When I went to BCT for the Army and they trained us on the gas powered M16 (the gas from the explosion of the gunpowder powers the charge for semi auto and burst, a fact I did not know) I studied the shit out of that rifle and couldn't figure out where they put the gas. I asked a Drill Sergeant and everyone laughed and I did push ups because the DS thought I was being a smartass.
csatvtftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third grader just the other day asked how to spell E. I asked him to repeat himself because I thought I'd misheard. He repeated "how do you spell E?" I was all, like the letter? It's just E. He then said, "like in 'each other'" and it was then that I realized he thought that it was e chother, not each other.
ridgegirl29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My old psych teacher was also a history teacher, so the room was mostly covered in world history stuff. At the time, all of the stuff was religion themed (Islam, Christianity, and Judaism). There was a poster listing all of the facts about each of the religions (Holy days, people who worship, etc.).
One day, one of the kids, who was a year older than me (this was high school), asked the teacher "Abraham Lincoln was Jewish???" Almost pissed my pants from laughing.
aplayonwords_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't a teacher but a friend of mine (8th Grade) asked the teacher if rocks had babies.
Proxima- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student but one day during a science class someone asked "Why can't we go to the sun at night"
Sibire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher's assistant for the CADD class. Had a Junior (year 11) ask me what half of two was because he was stuck on a project.
silverside30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad showed a documentary on WWII in his high school history class, and some kid asked, "Did everyone see in black and white back then?"
LunaLovegoody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught Spanish 1 and 2 my first year out of college at a rural public school. A senior politely raises his hand and begins to speak incoherent jibberish, quickly followed by "so, what'd I say?"
He literally thought he could mumble some nonsensical words and it was Spanish.
Edit- words
SuperBuffEagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my sophomore Spanish class, when we were learning how to say the date in Spanish, we learned how to say the year and some kid dead ass raised his hand and asked "what year is it in Mexico?"
bendurham441 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate of mine asked when the fourth of July was. This was in eighth grade.
code0rama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 9th grade World History One. I'm very sarcastic and during the first day of school when giving an overview of the class I always mention that I will actually teach them about the aliens that built the pyramids but they couldn't tell anyone. Most of the kids know right away that I'm being sarcastic however one year during back-to-school night a mother pulled me aside and asked if I could tell her about the aliens because she knew they were real.
XwzXyz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade student: "Can I drop out now, or do I have to wait?"
MySortaRandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but when I answered a question on why abuse happens I responded with genetically men are supposed to be stronger. And this girl in my class flipped out and asked the techer to prove me wrong.
w0rx4me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was younger I worked for a car rental company. One day I answered the phone, "Thank you for choosing Enterprise Rent-A-Car! How may I help you?"
Silence for 2-3 seconds then I hear, "Hi... uh... do you guys rent snow blowers?"
Dude was dead serious.
squidmyster64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do they rent snowblowers?
Sublime1996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 11th grade history class, just a few hours after the 9/11 attacks occurred, the teacher says, "I normally believe in the whole no stupid questions thing. But a student in the last class asked me if the clouds in the sky was actually smoke from the twin towers."
We were in southern California.
megando21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my math class asked "If a mom has a tattoo, will the baby be born with the tattoo?" The same girl also told the teacher she wanted to take a road trip to Hawaii with her friend. She was shocked when the teacher told her she eventually had to take a plane or a ship to get there. She was convinced that there was a giant bridge that connected the continental United States to the Hawaiian islands.
1-Down ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a rule, 80% of the questions I get are absolutely stupid. They are either something we just talked about that they need repeated because they were not paying attention, about instructions they haven't bothered to read, or are completely off topic to the task at hand.
Asking a good, thoughtful question is so rare it's the highlight of the period and very likely the highlight of the day.
SmellyRedPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were discussing the declaration of independence of America in history class, and a classmate asked if the framed one on the wall was the real original one. I live in Holland.
fakeyopmail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deceleration, lol
SmellyRedPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oops ;)
legalbeagle5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our independence rate is decreasing?!
Exotic_Butters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but today in my geography class my teacher showed a picture of the landing on the moon, and a girl, 9th grade, asked: "How did humans create the moon?"
She was serious.
Deathbyseagulls2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student. In 8th grade science class a girl asked if the sun ever got cold.
Oh_Petya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During middle school health class we were going over STD's when one student raised his hand and asked the teacher "If you have an STD and masturbate, do you give it to yourself?"
Entagagen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Roman Numerals are stupid! Who came up with these?"
I have more but that was one of the best.
matttheepitaph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got asked by a high schooler if you could get AIDS from handling produce.
Jesuslordofporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my biology teacher why we couldn't ingest gasoline, since it is so obviously energy dense.
Besanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher has board full of dumb things freshman say in his class. Can you believe a 9th grader asked "What state is Vermont in?"
legalbeagle5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up there. This is a common question sadly.
bspinney26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Early 2000s in a high school, a girl asked, "Wait, who won World War II?" Without missing a beat I said, "oh, Hitler. Didn't you see all the swastikas on your way into the building this morning?" I remember because it got a bigger laugh than I had expected. We then went on to discuss how many people in the class didn't know who won World War II. I hated most people in high school because of things like this. How could you not know?
El_Burnsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my high school US history class I had a girl ask if the under ground railroad was really underground, and if we still use those subway tunnels today
Same girl after leaning about the holocaust said too bad all the Jews are gone.....witha Jewish teacher in the room
vattern06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3rd grade: classmate raises her hand and asks: If we ever get to Pluto, will it be smaller than us? We laughed for weeks.
danfinger51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but during an art history study group session about Masaccio's Expulsion of Adam and Eve, the girl from Tennessee asked in her lovely southern lilt: โNow, danfinger, Iโm not very schooled on these matters, but who was it that came first, Adam and Eve or Cro-Magnon man?โ
Stunned, I sat there, Considering the question. Originating from a legally adult woman, a junior in college, majoring in โInterior Designโ. Do I explain these concepts? Would she even understand the words I was saying?
I decided to play it safe and replied โI donโt know.โ Which technically isnโt a full on lie?
natenash86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From this week, a 6th grade student blurted out in the middle of class, "Is it going to snow again this year?" We live in Minnesnowta and it's only January.
BA1554 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. BA1554, what do you for a job?" Asked by a student in my 5th grade class.
Kid__A__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a high school student ask "do rocks have dna?" He was not clear on where all the rocks came from or how new rocks came about.
totomaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:46 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What month comes after September?" It was October and that kid was a native English speaker in 10th grade.
nucumber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This wasn't in a class but I saw a girl at the beach running with a kite to get it aloft. She was running with the wind.
PofiePofie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I go pee?" "I don't know, can you" "bitch that's why I'm asking you"
Jonnybegood890 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher in our class was doing a Powerpoint presentation on Music and had a picture of Beethoven on one of the slides, one girl (in her 20's) raised her hand and said "Is he still alive?!"
noice5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a student who asked the question, "Why didn't Christopher Columbus just fly to America?"
Lord_of_the_Canals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a in freshman year of high school during a sort of Tax related problem in algebra the guy sitting next to me asked how many months there were in a year.
buchelli5678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you say 'taco' in Spanish?"
Obviously made in Spanish class.
mehbleh14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time I asked my Spanish teacher how to say guacamole in Spanish, and not ten minutes later another kid asked her how to say burrito. I think she was ready to hit us.
I didn't say it for joke, I just had a brain fart, but I think her brain was about to explode.
jetpuffedpanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my sister asked "How do you change the filter on the ocean?" And was completely serious about it. She was 15 or 16 at the time.
evilbenjisis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach freshmen biology. A girl said " wait...doesn't ginger mean that you're a boy or girl?"
Jdaddyaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What state is the Mississippi River named after again?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of the first lecture for one of my university classes, the lecturer asked if anyone had any questions. Someone put up their hand and asked how many pictures they could use in their essay (protip: for English Lit? None, my friend)
MikexxB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What are we doing today??"
Every day. Without fail.
Me: "It's band. The same thing we do every day."
thebaldone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:15 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What if your pull out game is REALLY strong?"
LickMyAstle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, I'm just a 20 year old mate. But my sister did ask me once if music was around before our father was born. Just for shits n giggles, he was born in '74 LOL
focksmuldr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister's boyfriend is a teacher. He was talking about eclipses in class. He was stunned that many of the students asked what an eclipse is.
Summbuddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked "Is this a stupid question?"
Gunner_McNewb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These questions always make me think of the Kevin story told here a while back.
TobaccoAficionado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, also late, but in highschool we were watching a documentary about the merican revolution. Very obvious foreign language (with subtitles, mind you) in the movie.
second dumbest girl ever: what language are they speaking?
dumbest girl ever hands down: british, duh...
it was french.
PopLicChocCicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach cooking as part of my curriculum and a student was cooking chicken for the first time and came up to me panicked and worried and asked, 'why is it turning white?'... this student was 14 years old.
Reninz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my stats prof told us that he had a student ask him how many numbers were in the five number summary of a data set
Charlzalan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do they have pencils outside of Japan?"
mennolife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in my tenth grade woodworking class, during the final one student shouted out "that's not fair, you never told us how many eighths were in an inch!"
Coldin228 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I work at Subway and probably get stupider questions.
Just the other day I asked a woman if she wanted her salad chopped, she asked "What's the difference?"
I take pride in my customer service so I literally did not know how to answer without sounding patronizing. I just KNEW she was gonna get pissed if I said "a chopped salad is chopped up"
mangaqueen8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also not a teacher, but the valedictorian of my grad using class was in an AP Biology class with me. When we were talking about mutations and being born with the wrong number of chromosomes she asked our teacher if "hypothetically speaking, you only got 21 chromosomes from one parent and ended up with only 44 total, would you be born a dog?"
MellowGamer1309 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in 8th grade it was myself and two girls in a government class. Everyone else went somewhere else. We were going over the states and the teacher looked at one girl and pointed to Ohio. She looked confused and said, "I don't know, Canada?"
Blindman84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I took drivers ed the instructor asked the class "What are you supposed to do when you see someone crossing the street?" A person in my class from another country said "Speed up!?"....
IAmANobodyAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before I became a teacher, heard a student ask why it's called the "soviet onion"
As a teacher in my precalculus class, while trying to explain why multiplying any number by 1 is the same number: "why it do that?"
bigcracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach CPR, I had someone ask me if they could catch hypothermia from someone because they are sick.
Aggie_spartacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach middle school special education math and social studies. I had two male students get in a fight because one said the other was pregnant. They argued with the assistant principal and I about how males could get pregnant.
I had another student that told me he had never seen the moon.
Stupid questions.. you have no idea what I deal with daily.
idreamofdinos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl, 11th grade, who was quietly working just like everyone else, when suddenly she says aloud, "Wait, are french fries really potatoes?!"
We were all so stunned none of the students even laughed.
pinkfluffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't a question. But my students were using continents to map out tectonic plates.
Anyway, I once had a kid pick up Africa and ask where he should put California...........
Edit: Students are 15
Mbail11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The wind blows so it is alive right?
8th grade.
Wuubz99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I ask you a question?" The "stupidest" question my teacher said he gets.
thugmuffin2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do pickles come out da ground sour?
stroupzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Israel a country? Senior Honors student
MistrrrOrgasmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the middle of math class I had a girl raise her hand and ask, "so wait, are Jehova's Witnesses real?"
meanrockSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: Excuse me- It's warm in here, can we open the door?
Teacher: No, the air conditioning is on- please wait a minute and it will cool down.
Student: ... Then can we open a window?
Savermetrics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If Nas was on the cover of his history book.
Chez_Rubenstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem said a dozen, so why did you write 12? (9th grade math class)
dimmu1313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was when a redditor posted a question on r/askreddit without knowing the superlative form of "stupid".
Lm0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hung out with a guy in 10th grade he asked me, in all seriousness: "wait dude, don't laugh, but do girls get pregnant through their vagina or their butthole?" ... I couldn't stop laughing and he was so embarrassed that he didn't know.
ryankirsch13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in my sophomore year of highschool irc... we were in Civics or something. Teachers father was a Vietnam War vet. Obtained a purple heart. My question to him.. "if you don't mind me asking, how did you obtain the purple heart".. he explains someone in his squad tripped a wire and a bomb went off and gave him a good dose of shrapnel among other things.. the first person to speak after he said that was a girl who goes "GASP.. you saw that?".. the look on his face was legendary
ronm4c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, when I was 16, in history class we were learning about WW2 and one girl in my class raised her hand and asked what Hitler's last name was.
LithiumBallz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was I supposed to pull out before or after??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this kid started dating my daughter, who begged us to let him come over for dinner. So we finally gave into her begging, let him come over, and he claimed he didn't know what a potato was. I started yelling at him and telling him to give it up and that we were onto his shit, but he seemed dead serious that he didn't know what a potato was.
We don't let her invite boyfriends over anymore.
Also, /s.
Sacred_Silly_Sack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've come to expect the question day of. It's mostly kids trying to troll me. The day after however...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So umm...did you guys do anything while I was gone?
Every. Damn. Time.
texthompson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What were those things in Gremlins called? - Karl
officeimgood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i am not a teacher but once i had a 32 yo lady ask me " do you guys eat chicken in nigeria"
mikeymikeymikey1968 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
19 year vet here. The most common, the classic, is the kid who, with total sincerity, asks a question about something that was just expressly discussed barely a moment prior. I try not to laugh, but it's always a terrific fun time for the other kids.
Kidwisdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Did we do anything while I was away yesterday."
Heck no! We were so saddened by your absence that we lowered the flag to half mast and sang a requiem.
Also once asked why I wasn't in the office whenever a student happened to wander in, like I lived there.
Honestly, the stupid stuff was always about attendance, cheating, and crummy work habits. I was happy to answer just about anything having to do with actual lessons, even if it was a little out to lunch. At least I knew they were trying.
Kitsun3Zaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do I learn from you?
If I could just ask, please.
jdougles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school, a girl in my friend's class asked the teacher if squirrels had claws. This is the same girl who asked the teacher how boats get across the Equator ( I think she assumed it was an -actual- line or wall like it is depicted on globes).
gingershadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why are there so many bushes up here?"
WolfShirt27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm not a teacher, but one time I was in class and we were learning about the French revolution and we were about to wrap up the unit and one girl raises her hand and says "Wait this actually happened?"
carebear73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I had a guy in my culinary class ask if the container of rock salt on my table was bread crumbs. Dead serious about it. He's at least 20 years old
auburnquill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grade biology: Do birds perch on high wires to keep warm because it's closer to the sun?
Samccx19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but a fellow student once asked me who David Cameron was (this was whilst he was still prime minister). Now, given the right context this could be a perfectly appropriate question, but when you are studying politics and international relations at university in the UK and that student is on your course, that's an entirely different matter.
_madlibs_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in middle school, we had a holocaust survivor visit our school and tell us all about it and how her family died during. So this girl asks a question and says "do you ever miss your family?"
undeadhord13135 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Opposites here as i am currently a student and this is a dumb question said by a teacher. She wanted to increase the volume on an interactive whiteboard, so my friend told her to do it from the monitor. Teacher asks what a monitor is face palm
DarkDevil26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I had a friend ask "is Russia a country or continent?" And when someone said that it was a country, he actually defended himself think Russia was a continent. I have never laughed so hard in a classroom before. Good times.
Coovyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but one of my friends asked the teacher, "What is behind the sun? We can't really see it, have they sent any rockets out there to take photos?"
Funniest thing I've ever heard.
esinedhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in high a girl told us a story about when she was driving and saw some huge car in the fields and it had spikes on the front of it. We all just stared and laugh at her and someone says you mean a combine? She said I guess I don't know how am I supposed to know I'm not from Iowa. Then my teacher says because your from Nebraska. Then the girls says no I'm not I'm from Omaha...
joe_theismanns_leg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a government class, my senior year of high school, a kid asked what is democracy but said democracy phonetically like dim O cracy. Kid was dead serious and had no idea that's how democracy is spelled
Psychedelic_Beans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my highschool Honors English class I had a fellow student ask, 100% serious, "what's the opposite of always?"
CritJongUn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I have this guy in my classes at college and he will ask something the teacher just said. Example: T - The grass is green! G - So, you're saying, green is the color of the grass?
Jaybird5456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask if Toasters used toaster waves to cook food, since microwaves used microwaves. Very smart girl, one of the top of the class, but had some crazy questions. She also asked about how left angles are different than right angles.
Also had someone ask any 1+1=2.
CardboardSoyuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in a 10th grade english class asked -- when we were reading the Bible-as-Literature -- "Is the Bible only printed in English?"
And it was weird because that woman went on to become some sort of successful orthopedic surgeon or some damned thing.
tehreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is a teacher. She had a student who thought narwhals and seahorses were fictional but mermaids were real.
SpookyItalianDish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a kid in my biology class asked (they are not special needs and they were dead serious) What kind of cell is a water cell?
We had been talking about eukaryote and prokaryotes and the similarities and differences etc.
TedNougat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How long is a meter stick?
endlesschasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a teacher, but sophomore year I terrified a classmate in biology by convincing her that there were spiders the size of Volkswagens in South America.
joshuasouthoaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
usually happens immediately after explaining something - asking a question that was answered not more than 30 seconds ago
SeattleMack32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex Ed class in middle school. I believe the speaker was from planned parenthood and she had a question box she passed around. One of the questions read "Is a boner a bone?"
Thaddus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on the animal in question. Humans, no, bears and cattle, yes.
Brodysean18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is pumpernickel a currency?"
"Aren't giraffes just just friendly dinosaurs?"
I'm not a teacher, I'm a student, but one of my teachers once thought that carnivores were dinosaurs. Not the other way around...
idiotscampaign ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when i was in sixth form (around 17 years old), after the teacher explained that one way to tell if something is a mammal is that it gives birth to live young instead of laying eggs (with few exceptions), one girl proceeded to ask "are horses mammals?"
Considering the previous explaination, the question could be translated to "do horses lay eggs?"
Other choice moments include explaining to her how gravity worked and informing her that clouds are water vapor.
Sageinthe805 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"when was the War of 1812?". Asked just yesterday. To be fair, a lot of wars are named inaccurately, but this was after I had already told them a few times when it was.
britchesburn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student, not a teacher. Last year a girl was in a regular bio class connected to my honors anatomy class by a lab room. She and the teacher come through the lab room so she can ask a question to another science teacher... "If an astronaut comes back to Earth they're landing in it right?" And tried to convince 1. The whole class and 2. Both teachers that if they land "on" earth they're landing in the atmosphere, but only if they land "in" earth they'll be able to walk around.
GGDonnahue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a beginning of the year "What I already know" lesson, a student asked another student "Is an adjective the main idea?"
The room went silent for about ten seconds before the second student just went "Dude, seriously?"
JasonRevtech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but during my COLLEGE chemistry class our professor explained that if we were able to perfect and harness nuclear fusion that one square kilometer of water (for the hydrogen) would hold more energy than all the fossil fuels that have ever existed. After he said this a student raised their hand and said "but isn't that like all the earth's water?" My friend looked at me dumbfounded and said "They did not just say that." I was amazed how cool and calmly the professor explained that it was not the case.
WalkingChickenTender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chickens are birds?
PixInsightFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the final weeks of a year long astronomy class, a student piped up with an original thought: What if the sun is just another star?
stetzwebs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime a student raises their hand and says "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Can you repeat that?"
crusader768 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but as a sixth former who takes maths we are sometimes asked to help lower school kids at lunchtime. I got partnered up with a kid from year 7 who couldn't answer what 10-4 was. I asked some questions only to find out the kid didn't understand what minus meant, and had no concept of negative numbers. The worst part was that this was a private school in which you had to pass an entrance exam to get in. How he managed to pass is beyond me.
S4ved ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl in my class ask our history teacher why there were two New Zealand's when we were preparing for a world geography test. This happened shortly after he had went on about how you couldn't learn history if you didn't have your geography straight, because you wouldn't be able to trace the actions and see the bigger picture. Although it was long overdue I still like to think of this incident as the sole reason why he retired at the end of the year.
LandOfJaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you spell stupid?
tgardner2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine, when we were 16, asked me "is an egg a vegetable?". After explaining to her that it was not, she proclaimed "then why is it always in salad".
WeeklyWenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are potato pancakes made of?
sulimanayad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First year chemistry graduate students at my institution typically get stuck TAing in the general chemistry help room. Lab one week was having the students experimentally determine what gas was in the balloon at the front of the room by measuring the rate of effusion.
While helping a student I informed them that their answer was impossible to which they responded, "Why can't the balloon be filled with Cadmium?"
For the record, the balloon floated in air.
JacobRAllen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate. Intro level history course on Mayan culture. A student interrupted the professor because she wanted to ask "Is there proof of reincarnation?"
The question itself didn't bother me as much as the context of it being asked at the college level.
qlokas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How will this help me IRL"(math class)
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might not be stupid; depends on the math. I have never needed differential calculus. YMMV.
ezryder27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After handing back a 7th grade math quiz on percent problems, a student looked at her score out of 100 and asked what percent she got.
I bet you can guess what it was.
JFK_did_9-11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thread is old so no one will see this. I am a teacher, but the dumbest question I've fielded was from a friend. It was sophomore year of college, three years ago, on 9/11. I was telling a friend that I had been to the 9/11 Memorial with my girlfriend and how moving it was. I told him how the most impactful sight was seeing the giant fountains/holes where the towers once were. The following dialogue took place:
F: ha, good one
Jfk: what's a good one....
F: You said where the towers were
Jfk: Yeah... Because they aren't there anymore?
F: Haha shutup
Jfk: Dude... Are you fucking with me? You know the towers fell right?
F: What? I thought the planes just flew into them..
Jfk: Yeah... Which caused them to fall. You have to be fucking with me, there's footage on the news every year on 9/11...There's documentaries... People always talk about it.
F: idk man fuck leave me alone my bad
pangysmerf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow.
buzzkill6411 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'miss, I've reached the bottom of my page. Do I turn over now?'
Schmetterlingus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was grade 10. I was student teaching. Was in an area that had some ski stuff and one of the students was a stoner kid who snowboarded all the time. He literally asked if Abraham Lincoln was actually a vampire hunter.
GilletteDeodorant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asked me once what could a student do to get suspended or expelled. I told him two easy ones would be sexual harassment and a bomb threat. He then proceeded in telling the class he had a bomb. I had to call security........
Seriousdolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student in this story.
It was during sex ed when I was 11, we dropped questions into an anonymous box so we didn't have to feel embarrassed about what we asked.
My question was 'how big are sperm?' because to my knowledge sperm looked like tadpoles and I had seen tadpoles, so I was worried tadpoles would wriggle out of my dick when I was a certain age and that terrified me.
The teacher looked at the question and sighed because she would now have to describe in detail the consistency of jizz to a bunch of kids. She looked around the room and said 'whose question is this?' but of course I didn't answer, she got irritated because she thought it was a joke and scrunched it up, telling the class would stay back if the person who wrote it didn't come forward.
We stayed in detention for half an hour.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What an awful teacher! How hard is it to say "so small you need a microscope to see them"?
Rockishcola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here, 4th grade. "How do girls get that long hair..." I didn't have a clue
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are there characters in this book
DMagis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few that come to mind:
In early middle school, we watched a documentary about 9/11. As we saw the building collapse, one of the other genuine students asked: "Why didn't spiderman do something?" He was 100% serious.
A kid in that same school, during a discussion on std's, asked if men grew brocolli on their pubes from an STD.... It was...so random.
In same class, the same kid also asked if sound waves moved differently in japan and china because of the way they talked (in reference to english dubbed asian films, mind you)
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sigh. I feel so old.
montemole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but during my health class in middle school another student asked how giraffes had sex. Thought he was joking but he actually wanted to know. Same student mixed Hitler for Abe Lincoln
crippendales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught year one university physics for engineering students, I had a student ask which direction gravity acts
ninetiesplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What country is France in?
loser-in-uniform ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me think of the old Kevin comment. Here is a link in case anyone hasn't read it before.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not explore that? Why doesn't she? What does she mean by that?
ZamboniAlpaca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While on a field trip bus with urban high school students, passing a field with cows grazing... "Miss, you live out here? Ain't you afraid the deer are gonna eat you?" Um, no. Later, "Miss, these people are stupid. They just leave the cows out there. Somebody's gonna steal them." Um, it's not that easy. Later in the year we took about 30 seniors to a park with pond for a picnic. The kids we allowed to wade into the water. All of them kept their socks on to protect them from piranhas. One acre fresh water pond.
illegaleft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grade world history teacher here. I had a student once groan in class after learning about the French Revolution and say, "Goddduhhh... Why do we have to always learn about history? Why can't there be a future class instead?"
Imagining what that class to that kid might entail, I laughed to myself and said, "Good point, I'm not sure."
coquillages ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a guy in my math class asked if I did math in Chinese or English (my parents are Chinese).
It was pretty funny, especially because English is my first language and I've been in America pretty much my entire life.
mathteach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my social studies pals was explaining a world map and was showing how all the different colors implied different countries. One student was confused by the massive blue country that seemed to take up the entire map.
High School student by the way.
Juan_Arc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher. Once in 9th grade (physics class) the teacher was doing a day where we could ask anythibg at all about physics. I, being the nerd I am, asked if he could clarify how. Black hole bends time. (The answer to that is not important to the story. Look it up ir whatever if you want) He brings up that a black hole's gravity is so potent, that once you begin getting closer it begins to rip out and viplently stretch out any objects entire mass, atom by atom. Right after he explains this and the whys and hows, on queue, somebody asks "Is it true that our solar system is inside of a black hole?" Nobody laughed. It was just a mutual sigh between most of the class.
The_Ambush_Bug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was at a music school. My theory teacher brings up how music was written in medieval times, and a kid in the same room (probably about 7 or 8) doesn't really know when the medieval times were. We explain that they're between about 1100 and 1500, and he responds,
"You mean...like...BEFORE World War 1?"
Well...I guess...
ItsMeTK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After Jesus, before Columbus. That's about all you need to know.
peacork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait Miss, I'm confused. Is Europe in America?"
peacork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 10th grade student once told me that the newest "Jurassic Park" was filmed in Europe because dinosaurs still exist over there.
Duck3284 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student in my English class asserted that Texas was about the size of India we tried to show him the square footages and Maps of the places but he said that numbers and maps didn't prove anything
dude_Im_hilarious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternative facts are all the rage.
PathToTruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't school have been easier with alternative facts ! Aargh
writingandshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my class asked if algae actually points to civilization. 100% genuine. She was very pretty though
Friedcuauhtli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in freshman biology i was trying to explain to this girl how it could be cold in South America. She just wasn't getting it, the teacher was right across from us, shaking his head.
WonderCounselor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher (to class of seniors in high school, in 2015): "so can anybody tell me what happened on 9/11?"
Student: "was that when they flew that joint into that joint?"
GregFallen12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student asked. "what was that thing where patriots dressed Indians and threw tea?" teacher: "the Boston tea party" Student: "no, that's not it"
fodorfolde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 9 English class, early in the semester. You all know this kid... chatty, very entertaining and very very thick. During some random class discussion,
Kid: "I wouldn't want to live 100 years ago"
Me: "Why is that?"
Kid: "It would suck living in black and white."
Me: "What do you mean."
Kid: "You know, before they invented colours."
Me: "...ummm ... Yes, that would be tough. Moving on..."
So apparently, life pre-couloir TV was in black and white. I only got the rest of the story because it came up again in class by a DIFFERENT kid. By tring to save his reputation (not correcting him in front of class) others believed him.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If everything was black and white, how could Noah see a rainbow?
mightymaude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but an answer to one. I was prompting a kid to figure out the importance of soil by working backwards with questions.
"What did you have for dinner last night?" "Burgers." "And what do hamburgers come from?" "Cows." What do cows eat?" "Small mammals."
He was 15.
bryanUC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had an "Even Einstein asked questions" poster in my classroom. Student asked who Evan Einstein was. Another student replied "Albert's dumb brother - that's why he asked questions!"
TheCurtmiester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but a girl in my grade 12 history class once asked why a man was wearing a helmet with the word "un" on it. We were discussing the United Nations for the last 20 minutes or so.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend used to be a TA for the science department. It was the beginning of the semester and I thought to ask him how his students were doing since last semester he thought he was going to get fired for his last class. ((Its off topic so i wont say))
He told me one female was asking what her grade was so soon into the semester. He didnt have anything graded yet but he counted everything that they had done, what she had done and told her shes basically already failing his class.
Her responce? "Well I know I havnt turned in most of the homework, skipped classes, and failed the test yesterday, but ai dont understand why my grade is so low!"
Anonnymoose73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do volcanoes reproduce? Wait a minute, that was the stupidest thing I ever said"
Also, my favorite from sex ed "Is an anus like a penis for a woman?"
tinybonzai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my evolutionary biology class in college one kid asked "If a person is born with a vestigial tail, are they still considered human?" Another stupid question from a different student was "What is the purpose of alligators?" Needless to say, the teacher was dumbfounded in both situations.
Mattranger11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but, during a revision session, my teacher was getting mad at us for not knowing "easy" questions. She then promptly goes on a rant finishing with "these are 'yes' or 'no' answers." Teacher then turns to me and asks "how many years imprisonment can you get for breaking this copyright law?". No prizes for guessing what my answer was. Was then kicked out of the class.
Also r/thathappened
Dada2fish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a student, but a woman I work with. A group of us were on lunch break and one of my co-workers just returned from a vacation to Las Vegas and was talking about his luck with the dollar slots. Then he mentioned the high roller room that had thousand dollar slot machines. The cog's in this woman's head were turning, she tilted her head and said, "Doesn't each turn take a long time on those?" It took a couple seconds to click with the rest of the group and we laughed hysterically.
Sword_Slayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. Smith, which America do we live on? South right?" Yep. And Canada is just another term for North America.
johnbeve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Covering the book of genesis for survey 'world history' course. As I was explaining the purpose of the lengthy genealogy, an enthusiastic student in the front row blurted out:
"Wait, since there were no women mentioned in the genealogy in the book of Genesis, doesn't that mean the men procreated asexually?"
I and the other students were perplexed for a moment. Then the student said, "You know what, never mind that can't work." Absolutely perfect.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's not even right. Eve and various daughters are mentioned.
johnbeve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to think that was part of the class's confusion.
rizcriz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but my coworker is a bit... anyways.
She saw the cancer research logo with the red strike through cancer and she actually asked, "does that mean they're not researching a cure for cancer anymore?"
iron_taquito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl asked "Are we mammals?" in a 9th grade Biology class.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the last safe time to ask that question.
gizmothetwotoncat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Did this really happen?" while reading Greek mythology... Also, "is North Carolina a country?" while discussing proper v common nouns.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom taught inner city special ed and back in the 80's she had lots of crack babies coming through her class with lots of learning disorders and zero family support.
She had one student who was learning disabled and the poor kid asked her "what's an H?".
She told that story for years in both a comedic and sad fashion. It was heartbreaking for a 4th grader to ask such a question but holy shit she would laugh because she said the whole class was merciless about their reactions and mr. duh what's an H had no idea what the problem was.
blondefunrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask where to find the word bank for the first part of her test. It was the true/false section. I said, "It's the true/false section." She made a weird face and said, "okaaaaaay". Two minutes later she exclaims, "True or false!"
Five minutes later she asked me if the soil talked about on the test was "like the dirt under the grass or like dirt-dirt". I didn't know how to respond seeing as all we had talked about the last week was soil. Her fellow classmates gave me a few exasperated looks. She's sweet, but that poor little head is dense.
jlanger23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While watching and old movie: "Was life really black and white back then?"
Another asked is zebras were real because she heard they were extinct.
We're talking about high school kids here.
esteliohan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked in a petting zoo, full of frolicking goats, lots of school group kids would ask "Are they real?"
Mind you this is the smaller petting zoo within the larger LA Zoo. So many kids would ask if they were real. I would tell them to look at them closely and report back what they thought. So weird. But I guess some of these kids don't get enough exposure to animals/the outdoors?
decklund ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My second name is the same as a fictional videogame character and I often get asked, perfectly sincerely, if i am related to said bundle of pixels.
ZeNorseHorseSleipnir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some kid asked me "What Dinosaurs would be the easiest to sneak up on and jerk off?"
karina314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite question comes from students who were absent: "did we do anything yesterday?" I always tell them that we just sat in silence for 59 minutes because we couldn't go on without them in class. It takes them a minute but then they realize/remember that the slides are online and they have a seat buddy they can get the information from before asking me during class time
TheHouseCalledFred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a good one. In my toxicology class we were learning about sublethal effects and how to measure them. The professor was talking about how the amount of times the fish strikes its food to eat it can be a measure. And you do this before and after a chemical is introduced. The term she was using was good strikes. One kid asks "does food strikes mean that the fish refuse to eat the food?"
Class starts laughing and professor smiles but calmly answers him, no. Kid turns around and says "don't laugh at me!" We felt bad.
musicianontherun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:15 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a Catholic school. I had a kid ask me to confirm that when a person commits suicide, they go directly to hell. I just told him that I've never tried so I couldn't tell him.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question; it's a cry for help.
musicianontherun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand how it could be, but in the context he said it he was just trying to prove one of his friends wrong. He's a pretty entitled kid, so I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.
dooyooeven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there any extra credit?
Bitch you didn't even do the MINIMUM credit!
zombiechicken379 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate in my 9th grade Spanish class once asked, "Do people in Spain have to think about the words in English before they say them in Spanish?"
xaraphyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have electricity up there in Canada?
ssloke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in Junior High, a student raised her hand and seriously asked the teacher, "How are they gonna shake the building during the earth quake drill?" For real.
killah_fish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:03 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach sixth grade math. My kids were coming back to class after one of their first sex ed lessons and they were all discussing it. They were some mix of excited, confused, and embarrassed. One of the students asked me "what are genitals?" I think the answer really made the health teacher's lesson come to life.
the_violet_wizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one of my friends asked my 9th grade science teacher "How high can someone count to?"
We all laughed our asses off. The teacher told him to see how high he could count and that would be his answer, so my friend got put in a little room alone and left as long as he needed to count as high as he could.
It ended up being in the thousands after a couple hours, after he lost track.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually a very interesting question because there does reach a point of equilibrium where the numbers get so long that saying them takes up too much time. It's pretty much physically impossible to count to one billion, and that's just an amazing concept. Maybe the kid saw that SuperCarlinBros video about it and wondered what the upper limit was. Probably no higher than several hundred million, depending on how old you are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a class where a girl asked "how they filmed the history reenactment when they didn't have cameras in pioneer times ?"
Mrmathmonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have 2
I was walking through the hallway between classes and a student asked me if I had any milk. Who walks around with milk??
baskyrose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do babies grow when it's cold outside?
brikaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my highschool English teacher. So it was close to winter break and the teacher decided we should all watch National Treasure since we all agreed it was a good family friendly movie. We are about to turn it on, and one of the girls in class raised her hand and says, "Um, so this might seem like a stupid question." Teacher stops her and says, "Don't worry, in this class there are no stupid questions." Girl replies, "Okay, so umm, the stuff in National Treasure... did that actually happen? Like did they find the treasure there?"
Class is speechless. After a moment of contemplating that sentence, she says "No, none of that happened, and that was a stupid question."
lunchboxweld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a guy ask if the penis was rifled in an anatomy and physiology class.
bad_rug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in our history class the teacher showed us the "live" version of the film failsafe (at least I believe that was the title, correct men if I'm wrong, about the cold war stand off I believe)
Tldr, false information comes in that Russia launched a nuke at us, so using M.A.D we nuke Moscow
Opps turns out they didn't and we just nuked Moscow, so we nuke one of our own cities to keep the peace because of the fuck up, bye bye New York
Why do I tell you that tidbit? One of the classmates I had, asked the teacher if that really happened to New York, had to explain that if it had happened, there still wouldn't be a New York today
UnknownFarner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
17 year old obvious stoner. Who was indeed bright and always on time but would often smell of ganja. Had something very.."interesting" to say atleast once every few days that would make the whole class question there existence. But on the last day of school he asked me "If i weren't a student and i handed you something that stinks. Would you take it from my hand?"
"Dude, I played guitar in a band" i answered
Jatokae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me: "How can we possibly have a clean water crisis when God gives us clean rain all the time?"
This was in a 9th Grade Honor's course. We were discussing the fact that some countries do not have clean water as part of a school initiative. I subsequently spent the class period teaching this girl about the Water Cycle instead of the novel we were reading. Her classmates were as dumbfounded as I was to find this out. My favorite follow up question was when I told her about water recycling and she asked: "So I take a shower in everyone else's toilet water?!"
Wildtigaah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student ask me why they put bones inside fish they were eating.
punkin152 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 8th grade writing. One day in class I mentioned to my class that I used to be a book editor and I ghost wrote a couple of books. One student raised his hand and asked if I could teach him to be a better writer. Why, yes, yes I can, that is my entire job. The class cracked up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl in my tenth grade bio class answered the question "what's the greatest invention of the 21st century?" by saying time travel. Took her a minute to realize what century we were in after everyone was laughing
Idekko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a GCSE Physics class on the formation of the Moon, a girl (16 at the time) asks our teacher: "But sir, isn't the Moon just the Sun at night-time?"
She genuinely thought they were the same thing.
queenannslace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a camp counselor. I just finished explaining poison ivy and what happens to most people if they touch it, and one camper goes "what happens if I eat poison ivy??" Same camper "can I roast a pimple over the camp fire"
She was a hoot
Snephiexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In science: "miss what happens when a lady has a child after plastic surgery?" I didn't quite get what she meant so replied with "ummm nothing?" She then says "isn't it bad for the kid to be born with plastic genes?" Had a bit if a laugh before explaining how genes work.
pgrittty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone I know once gave John McCain a tour of a science museum, upon reaching a tank full of local aquatic life he peered in and asked "are these good or bad animals?"
chaxxxxxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I try to forget the truly stupid questions, but here's a goofy one from today: we were reading in Sinclair's The Jungle about rats crawling and pooping on the meat and getting mixed into sausages. All the kids are vocalizing their disgust except this one kid right up front. He looked like he was either deep in thought or completely zoned out. When the class got quiet again, he said, "But what kind of rats are we talking about here? I mean black rats, brown rats, mice? What?"
Edit: There was a dumb question/answer exchange in the class before the one above. The reading is part of a bigger lesson on food regulations in the Progressive Era USA. We discussed different regulations in place today and why certain foods contain preservatives, etc. One smart ass chimes in, "What about Red Bull having bull business (semen) can a woman get pregnant from that?" Before I could explain how many levels of wrong were in her question, another smart ass chimes in, "Yeah, man, that's how we have menotaurs!"
I really love my job.
Bielzabutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe how many times a day this question is asked, is there really that little creativity in the human race?
xBeeves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in a history class, the teacher's slide said, "President..." (don't remember which one), and someone asked, "Was his real name President?"
zEaK47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most, if not all, of the questions in the comments aren't stupid.
NightlyMochi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but as a student I asked this question in first grade and it stuck with me for my life.
"How do you spell IT?" My teacher was an elderly woman and she looked like she wanted to scream.
kknope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a kid ask if I taught a 5th period...while he was sitting in my 5th period.
hazelowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my teacher husband:
"What do you mean there weren't jet airplanes during the American Revolution?"
Kid from Mexico: "Isn't Mexico the 52nd state?"
First day of psychology class: "Is this the class where we study dinosaurs?"
Student, to guest speaker from England: "How was the drive?" Answer: "Wet."
skorys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher myself. But a friend of mine once asked a teacher if people breathe in their sleep.
Literally everyone was like WTF. And he seriously meant it. We were like 16 years old.
Metabro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are there stupid questions?"
Repeat if necessary.
hokeywebb22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in high school we had a geography class where we had to color a map of WWII map and label the countries. And a girl asked where West Germany was. She said she knew where East Germany was but couldn't find West germany.
Nicholas-tb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student a grade above me (she was a freshman in high school at the time and is now a junior) she asked "Why don't people on Australia just fall off the Earth?"
EruditeDilettante ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...that and some of the q's ITT
AlbeitFunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same student thought all these things:
Doesn't tin foil come from pigs? Do cows lay eggs? Don't squirrels have nipples in their mouths?
Acadia94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but this question reminded me of something, when I was in tenth grade we were taking about Halloween plans in class and a student asked what day Halloween is, teacher said Thursday, student said "no like which date?" Teacher looked perplexed and told her it's on the 31st.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's my name?"
goblinqueen1513 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The vast majority of "stupid questions" I hear as a teacher are from students who either weren't listening to or who didn't read the directions to any given assignment, and so they ask something that can be answered simply by looking at the paper in their hands.
I teach high school English to freshmen.
This just happened today, as students were taking their semester final online. Because the scores for the test would be converted into an Excel spreadsheet, I had asked the students to type their last names followed by their first names, as this would make it easier to grade later.
Immediately, a young man raises his hand to ask, "Wait, so, do we write our last names and THEN our first names?" "What do the directions say?" I asked. "Well, they say last name, first name.... Oh. I just wanted to be sure!"
I SMH approx. 30 times per day.
thereal304 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but had a student sitting next to me ask me a question in 8th grade during a test. We were taking a Religion test (Catholic school) and one of the questions was "What is the last line of the prayer we say every morning?" We've literally said this prayer every day for 8 years.
Girl next to me turns and asks quietly, "Is that the one that goes 'With liberty and justice for all?'"
No. No it's not.
dangercrane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this last year's "killer clown" meme would die down. But these kids keep googling and asking about it. (I teach technology at an elementary)
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize I had to be able to swim to take lifeguard courses. The kid was a straight up code black,jumped in the water and didn't come back up. I honestly wanted to let him drown. Sadly the kid was determined to die in my class the entire week. Plus he failed the written twice, I've never witnessed that in 10 years of training. Bastard complained that I was cruel. Then came blocks and escapes day.
notorious_NAP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a 2nd grade teacher, but this occurred when I was a college student. This was a 400-level Spanish class, and my professor asked for feedback about our final exam. A girl in my class raised her hand to ask why teachers couldn't communicate/coordinate when they're having exams, final projects, etc. so that they don't all coincide because "that's what they did in high school."
Anal_is_Good_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone once said "can you dab"
nachomamasconcern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, Shakespeare was a person?
Same student..next day. Wait, Einstein is a person too. Maybe I shouldn't graduate this year. I feel like I should know this stuff.
Guaymaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the first one is actually muddy! We don't really know if Shakespeare was a single person, or many that worked together.
nachomamasconcern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know. I'm a drama teacher. And we were preparing for a Shakespeare competition. The rest of the kids just looked at her with a blank stare. We had been talking about him for a few weeks.
hopefuldenizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:55 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate of mine, dead serious: Wait, Europe isn't a country? Man, I'm just not good at geometry.
And yeah, he wasn't the only one in class who thought Europe was a country.
We were in 10th grade social studies.
EruditeDilettante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But was he the only one bad at geometry?
Obnition ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty late, but we finished watching the Ghandi movie and then one girl said,"He's still alive right?" And in the beginning of the movie no less, it is the scene of his death.
Littlewigum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there is no friction in space, how do the thrusters work on the space shuttle?
https://www.reddit.com/r/askscience/comments/5qhs3u/if_there_is_no_friction_in_space_how_do_the/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student and this was this girl and the teacher was talking about another student who had threatend to "throw him through the roof". obviously a violent exaggeration but the girl says "don't worry unless he's super man there's no way he can through you that high". me and my teacher had a face palm moment.
NonY450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last day of the semester, day of the /final exam/ no less, "can I like... get some notes?"
No. No you can't.
ipodragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher myself, but this is a memory of a classmate I had back in 11th grade. We were further learning about Hitler when my teacher went off on a tangent explaining his German lineage. My classmate pointed out how our teacher had brown hair instead of the typical blonde hair that Hitler wanted his men to have. Our teacher then explains that it's more common for a German to have brown hair than it is to have blonde, to which she followed up by asking, "Then did Hitler have his men dye their hair?"
She didn't end that year with a passing grade.
Englishteacherusa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 9th grade English. We were researching info about Shakespeare before reading Romeo and Juliet. A student had been reading about his family, and then read the date he died. The student then immediately asked, "Is his wife still alive?" I looked at her with a straight face and asked her to use her resources and see if she could answer the question. She was completely stumped, and got mad at me for not giving her the answer. Good luck, future.
sandrakarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Due to a scheduling conflict, I ended up in the...uh...'slow' english/lit class instead of the advanced one during my senior year (easy a, so whatever). We were reading Lord of the Flies and had just finished the scene where they come to the downed pilot tangled in his lines in the tree (I think).
A question from a row behind me: "If the dude in King of the Hill survived falling out the plane, why didn't this guy?"
acw917 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third graders discussing effects of slavery:
"Why did we do all of this when we could have just got cotton from sheep?!"
Most of the class enthusiastically agreed.
suijuri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've taught workshops all over the US and Canada, still haven't heard a stupid question.
bowens21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took an astronomy class in college. The teacher told us that a lot of stars and constellations have Greek names because the Greeks named them. One girl raised her hand and asked "Like the North Star?"
Angryjk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student. A girl in the middle of English asked "is pepperoni a meat?" Everyone stared, laughed and was so confused
Mermane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A pretty straight example, but I just completed my placement in a high school as part of my degree. During a test, a student puts her hand up and says, "what do I do when I have the answer?"
TheAmericanDisaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading Much Ado About Nothing. Come across a line about dogs. 10th grader: "They had DOGS in Shakespeare's time?!?!?"
nnwally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is less of a question per say, but more of a 'really, how did you survive through the first sixteen years of your life without dying' sort of moment. I've taught high school social studies for the past fifteen years. One of the most memorable moments teaching happened almost exactly eight years ago in a Junior Intermediate level American Government course. For about a week I had been stressing the significance of President Obama's election and inauguration process. I talked about how significant it is having our first black president and about how far our country has come over the past 200 years and so on. A kid who had always struck me as being pretty bright and always curious rose his hand and said "Does Abraham Lincoln not count then? Like isn't Obama just the first black president in a while?"
I'm still hoping this kid was home schooled or something....don't want to think that the school district I'm employed by would let a kid think that Abraham Lincoln was just "out to free his own people." Teaching never gets old!
palmtree2457 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school chemistry class half way through second semester and the lesson was on energy. I explained that mercury thermometers were no longer used. Hand goes up, yes Johnny? "How did they get it down here?" How did they get what down here? "The mercury for the thermometers?" I didn't have to say a word. The class did it.
greencone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my sixth graders asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Keyoak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a classmate in the third year of a science degree respond to a discussion of the difficulties of desalination of water. Why cant we just boil the water, this is so stupid"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but overheard a kid in a burgerking.
9 year old kids were discussing global warming and one kid says:
"If Earth is getting too hot, why don't we just move Mars??"
Notice he didn't say "move to Mars."
We must move Mars.
TheGestaltGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a student think he was finally gonna pull off a gotcha-question by asking me, "if you love Apple so much then why are you using a MacBook?"
rootinforpootin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow student- "Who built the Great Wall of China?" Me- "The Egyptians." Fellow student- "Man thanks" proceeds to turn it in
lightfunda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How did you know?" (Regarding a plagiarism accusation - there were blue hyperlinked key words throughout her assignment.)
ButtsexEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the stupid student. But hear me out. I said something, I don't even remember now, and the teacher said jokingly "Shh, not in front of virgin ears." I was super confused and said "What are Virgineers?" I was thinking like engineers or people from Virginia who pilot stuff? I don't know. But just the way he was saying it, that's the way I interpreted it. So he just laughed and I indignantly asked what the hell are Virgineers? He just kept looking at me saying "What?" This went on for a few minutes. I don't know when I finally figured it out that he meant virgin ears. I had never heard that phrase before. I was in 9th grade. That same year I thought out loud "What if Halloween was on Friday the 13th?" The teacher gave me one of those looks and I realized what I just said and how it was retarded. I've also forgotten the names of teachers 3/4 of the way through the semester. Sometimes we just have brain farts.
PeacefulGoddessOfWar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mentioned to the kids I was in the army. "What is your kill-death ratio?"
Oh geeze.
kasalik1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school English teacher here. "What do you mean I can't copy and paste my essay from the internet?"
sciencebitches13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my honors 8th science class I am teaching about changes on Earth including plate boundaries and the interactions that lead to earthquakes. As we were discussing subduction zones, had one student raise her hand and say, "So, you mean that oceanic crust is made of water?" FACE PALM! It took everything in my power not to look at her and just say "Yes it is." The only thing that saved her was that my administrator was observing me. Luckily my other students shamed her enough that I didn't have to.
lojadins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As the teachers here note, there are stupid questions, but those result from being lazy or not listening. Not a stupid question, but here is my most stunning question. The day before winter break, at the end of the class period, I wished my students a "Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Delightful Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate." My German exchange student asks, "Hanukkah? What is Hanukkah?" I replied, "It is the Jewish holiday that falls around Christmas." She says, "Oh, I didn't know that. We don't have many Jews in Germany." Dead silence as eyes dart around. "you gonna tell her? Nope, you wanna explain it? Not a chance." Like that.
zstream26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first Prime Ministers of Canada is John A. Macdonald. In high school a girl in my history class asked me if he was the same person who created McDonalds.
SavetheMegalodon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a math teacher that posted all the stupid comments and questions that kids asked across his room. One of my favorites was "if toilet water is wetter than regular water?" Second runner up was "if you study high and take a test while you are high, then you will perform better."
danny_elle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a kindergarten student ask me if they could "drink the paint water since it's black and looked yummy." Well I told them "No, it will taste gross since it's water and paint put together." He then cried for ten minutes.
huevos-y-tocino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my 6th graders today asked me if Jesus served in the Revolutionary War. I snorted and walked into the hall to cackle.
lejetwerkengwa1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This wasn't a question, but a student once told me "I don't want to live on Earth" and I of course asked why, and he said "Because Earth is in space, and space is dark, and I'm afraid of the dark." Now if this had been from a 4 or 5 year old, it would have been cute maybe. But he was 10. Bless his heart.
FignCherryz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is that tree made out of wood?"
hdzstream34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An eleven year old girl once asked me what carpet was. She was in a bottom set secondary class and down as MLD - mild learning difficulty. In that school, however, that whole class was down as MLD, and most teachers will tell you that there are kids who actually have learning difficulties, those who are just thick, and those who are badly behaved. She was a combination of all three. At first, thinking she just hadn't heard me, I repeated it. (I have a bit of a posher accent than those in that area). I then asked her what she had on the floor in her house. Turned out she had wood floors and always had, so hadn't learnt the word for carpet. At age 11. When I pointed at the carpeted floor beneath us and asked her what she'd call that, she just shrugged and said she didn't know it had a name. The same girl also had her mum call the headteacher and tell him that I was trying to kill her because I'd held the whole class back five seconds to calm them down for a quiet dismissal (she was a diabetic). Five seconds is, apparently, a death sentence. I no longer teach. This was in a school where a whole lesson was needed for me to teach a similar ability group of 13-14 year olds that Shakespeare wrote plays and was male.
_kasper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Miss, are eyeballs flammable?"
schuma73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but at a big ten university a classmate (age 25) said, "Girls have umbilical cords? I thought just boys had those."
He thought cutting the umbilical cord was equivalent to a circumcision.
Zombywoolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Been waiting a while for this...
I assume that he was trying to tell me that 'racecar' is a palindrome. But what came out was:
"Sir, did you know that 'racecar backwards' is 'racecar backwards'?"
Almost, buddy.
WatzNewPussayCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got asked by a colleague during the Brexit voting: "Is India in the EU?" I said no, barely holding back laughter. She said "The EU is the European Union isn't it?" I said yes. She went on to ask if China and America were in the EU. I held my laughter. She asked if the North Pole was in the EU and that's when I had to find an excuse to go out back and laugh my ass off at the poor girl.
larficus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does homework go home? Ugh
mckleeve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, first grade class, first time they had ever seen computers. (yeah, long long long time ago. about 1986) Fascinated by the screensaver of a scuba diver swimming in the ocean---"Is that water cold?"
fasehed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about ways the human body compares to other animals, one mid says "we poop and so do fish!!" then a girl asks "wait?... Fish poop???"
rpungello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No matter what I read in this thread, nothing will top the infamous Kevin.
DickyMcDoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a class for cert II in security (entry level for mall cops etc). "Is this on the test?" The class was told repeatedly that anything on the test would be made very clear. Yet, after nearly every sentence by the instructor (not me) somebody would ask. In the end anyone asking this question received one warning and was then asked to leave for the day. It kept going and from memory 3-4 people were removed from the course entirely as they simply would not STFU!
professor_millard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student asked me what time it was, and I pointed to the analog clock on the wall. He said he couldn't tell time on "one of those clocks with the lines." This would be fine if I taught early elementary, but I am a college professor, and this student had somehow been admitted to our university. He did not pass my Eng 101 class.
unique_username_v2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a fellow student ask why we needed a camera in the studio. Though they we could see the performers through the TV in the studio. (College level course in media production)
badblackguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MSc class on operating systems. Girl puts up her hand... What's a hard disk?
I_h8_yo_marshmallows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I see that these threads, I avoid them because I am scared someones reply will be about me saying something stupid or doing something embarrassing.
wheresthelambsauceee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'If you dig a hole too far then will the gravity will fall out?'
letsgrabacoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are big rocks and small rocks so they must grow, right?
10th grade.
111omnipotent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my brother class a guy asked "did napoleon and Hitler invade Russia together?" (9th grade) the question was inspired by my brother saying "one does not simply invade Russia, both napoleon and Hitler perished to them" (he is crazy about history) the worst part is that they were seeing ww2 in history class.
metalkiller42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9/11 was in December, right?
not_sure1220 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this happened in my college calculus class:
Student: "Professor, I am having a hard time understanding the squigglies."
Professor: "The squigglies? What do you mean by the squigglies?"
Student: "You know, the squigglies!" and she gets up to draw on the board.
Professor: "Oh! You mean lambda!"
yiazmatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"do u want to get raped"
timcantebury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
?
rustyshackleford193 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but fellow student. Mind you we were already 3 years in laboratory school and this girl asked if 30mg was 0.3 gram. I just said yes and watched her screw up the practical assignment.
great-granny-jessie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:58 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant dangerously botched experimental study at a university.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/01/25/university-fined-400k-students-taking-part-caffeine-experiment/
rustyshackleford193 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, those pictures. That's what also baffled me at that time in school, that she didn't notice the absurd amounts of material she weighed off.
Everyone was weighing in with a micro-spatula, and she just poured it in a big pile. That should ring a bell
NoNotInMyHair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chem 211... what's the O stand for in H2O
jdmoore90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My seniors were reading the Canterbury Tales in my English class. They're working on writing their own versions when one of my senior guys asks, "Mr. Moore, why didn't they just take the train? There were trains in the 1300s, right?"
I just stared at him. Finally, I asked if he remembered what the Industrial Revolution was. He didn't understand the connection.
MsLeFever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:35 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
" I missed class, did we do anything?" I always want to say "no, without you there we just took the time to talk about how nobody likes you" of course we did Something!!
my_teaching_account ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"When is P.E.?"
... While walking to P.E.
Which we do, at the same time
EVERY.
DAY.
Similar questions regarding lunch and other parts of the day. I've discovered that if I just stare at the kid long enough they'll giggle nervously and slink away while eyeing me sideways. YOU KNOW WHEN P.E. IS, JAMIE. DO NOT TEST ME.
Earptastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but was talking to a whole class of students about solar panels. A guy asked me "What would happen if you smoked next to a solar panel"
I was like. "What? What would happen if you. . . .? Nothing. Nothing would happen. Next question."
Diggoobuoxum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP inbox
ptogut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have an exam today?
RichGunzUSA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in highschool one guy asked if we get smoke breaks in class. Smoke breaks.
Iscariot- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. 8th grade, my classmate (very intelligent, wealthy family, a bit socially awkward), had an interesting reaction during sex ed definitions. Bear in mind, this was probably the 7th term, and we had all been so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
Teacher: "Semen: the fluid that carries sperm."
Classmate: "Ohhhh! So THAT's why you don't wanna drink it!"
Class: stunned silence
The teacher's facial reaction can best be described as "HEHAIDHEVABSIFHBEHAHD" or an imitation of a stroke.
NZsupremacist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in high school a Girl thought that the Great Wall of China was to keep rabbits out. Yes the class did erupt into laughter but she was serious.
Marimboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, here's a bit if a different answer. While rehearsing a music piece with the whole band for the first time, the xylophone player couldn't get the rhythm right (solo for him at the beginning). The band director had the whole band clap it for him so he could play along to learn the rhythm. He still couldn't do it. With 100 other people clapping the rhythm.
potsandsucculants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:34 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked where the light in cellular images was coming from (assuming from light given off by exothermic reactions)- my teacher just sort of blinked and said "the microscope light..."
tweektweak123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:41 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl in college level general chemistry asked surprised, "wait! Water can be a gas?!" The look on my professor's face was priceless.
DrAustralia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Will I really need this when I'm older?"
No Timmy, you won't need basic education when you're older. /s
EDIT: fuck hit the save button accidentally. shiet.
Seriously though dumbest question was "Is South Australia on the North coast?" everytime I think about it, i die laughing.
TheBoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only stupid questions are the ones I've already given the answer to 3 times in the last 2 minutes.
doriblue42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:32 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student. In eighth grade science class, we were talking about absolute zero temperature. One student asked if a table was at absolute zero and a fly landed on it and the. You flicked the fly off, what noise wild it make?
GenyaSafin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:33 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a student/teacher situation, but I recently had a customer at work ask me this: When you're going to divide a sum by 2, do you use division or multiplication?
...
I was speechless and had to ask her to repeat her question.
stuffguy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How many people did Lincoln rape?"
Smokey_McNoggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Four, right?
Sleepered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to dig through these and post them to a local community group on Facebook. The dumbest questions are asked there. These will fit in nicely.
enzyme_down ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last semester, we were listening to the Hamilton soundtrack, and a classmate was certain that Alexander Hamilton was a mondern day man, and also the writer of the songs. Now, this is AFTER she listened to it, so how she thought it was set in contemporary is beyond me.
lizamasllama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 9th grade physics class there was this one kid that asked the dumbest questions and my teacher always got pissed off at him.
One day we were talking about gravity and he was using some example with a 3D cube to demonstrate something I don't remember. This kid raises his hand after already asking multiple dumb questions and asks, I quote from my synced notes "What if you turn the cube on its side and filled it with jello? How would that effect the gravity?"
Our teacher responded "You hear that, colten? That's the sound of your grade dropping for every second longer you're in this classroom" and the kid ran out of the room.
xensor12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that sounds like something my science teacher did for the ones asking really and I mean really dumb questions that had no answer to it
bambislice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:19 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is malaria an STD?"
MerlinsR3v3nge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a 7th grade science teacher. We were looking at pictures of some of the scientists that there have been in history. Some of the pictures are black and white. One of my students raised her hand and asked me when the world turned colors. I didn't understand her question so I asked her to explain. She then looked at the last black and white photo and the first color photo and determined it must have been between those years.
Smokey_McNoggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:52 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An English teacher just posted a similar situation after watching a black and white movie with her students. Interesting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uni student asked what Germany was. Another student had lived there a bit and they were getting to know one another. Even after looking at the map he said he never heard of it before
bitingpuppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:31 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually an engineering student right now and I like to mess with the professors by purposefully asking dumb questions, my favorites so far are 'how long is that meter stick' and the other was when my professor was playing with a cut zip tie and kept shoving it through and I asked 'how many cycles do you think that is rated for'
CaptainWillyJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my dad often tells the story. He was in med school and they were learning about sex organs. It came up that sperm is made up of mostly sugar, not protein like we commonly think. A female student then asked in front of the whole class "if it's made up of sugar, why does it taste so bitter?"
My dad said the whole class laughed, she ran out and didn't return for a week.
ImOnAPayphone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:53 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was proctoring the PSATs, and the students had to write and sign a statement that they hadn't cheated. It began, "I hereby declare...."
One of the students asked if they're supposed to write their own name instead of the name Herby: "I don't write Herby, right? That's just an example? I write Dave."
Richardscoat83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A woman in my astronomy 101 class, " So, the stars don't revolve around the earth?"
prettyrecklessx3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Does water stain?"
superspambot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:43 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not an actual teacher, but I've definitely heard some of the funniest sh*t in Science Class
"You know, Aluminum sounds like it should be on the periodic table" - My old friend, who was normally of average intellect.
In one of my freshman classes, this guy decided to add background noises to this one presentation the teacher, saying like "arf, arf" whenever she did something with a dog, "Vroom, vroom" with a car. Then she had someone throw litter, and he goes, I sh*t you not, "litter litter"
LGBTreecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was the date of 9-11?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I have a great story from my English 101 class. This girl that I went to high school with ended up in the same class as me our freshman year of college. We always had discussions in English, and one day we're talking about Galileo for some reason. Our professor asks what he was famous for and someone answers that he was the first scientist to say that the Earth revolved around the Sun and not vice versa. The girl next to me gives me the most dumbfounded look and says "the Earth revolves around the Sun?" It took every single bit of self control not to laugh in her face. I literally had to draw her a diagram of our solar system on a piece of notebook paper and explain how all the planets revolve around the Sun.
Kunzy83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But one of my high school classmates asked our history teacher if the people flying the planes on 9/11 got the death penalty..
Gramage ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:11:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mean, technically yes.
masky_pasky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An 18y/o girl in my Spanish class asked, "Do geese lay eggs?" And the follow-up question was, "But the geese in our local park, do those also lay eggs?"
(I'm a student, but this was interesting.)
hegde7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:07 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine was from Sri Lanka and this girl in my class thought Sri Lanka was in Bangladesh ! He told us this story and that's how the Sri Lankan became friends with us.
LoupGaroux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English in Spain. I recently had a young teen student ask me if America really does a "purge" day. I laughed, thinking he was joking, but then I realized he was serious. I soon discovered that he, as well as two others in the class, had been assuming such a thing was real.
DrinkDrankDrunkest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:20 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach in a very heterogeneous town, lots of diversity in my school. Last semester I had a student that could no understand that nationality and race where two different things. The whole class was arguing with him about it. It was so bad that the math teacher he had AFTER my class brought him back to my class because the kids were still arguing about it and she could not get him to accept it either.
asyluminmate1106 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate once asked in my Biology class "What's the difference between an orgasm and an organism?"
sarulean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually ABOUT a teacher. My 4th grade teacher was covering geography and asked all the black kids in class which country in Africa their families came from. I mentioned that my mother was from Africa (I am white), and he told me I was lying. I said she was from South Africa and he told me that wasn't a country. I was later pulled out of that school.
slatersgottaslate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a college upper level genetics class I had a classmate once ask "so...if someone has type A blood and gets a transfusion with type B blood would that make them have AB blood?" The professor, with the most "oh my good lord please fucking kill me" face I've ever seen, turns to her and replies "no." He then just moved on in the lecture and pretended like he didn't want to fucking murder the entire class for another 20 minutes.
He was my favorite biology based professor at that university because he had such a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. But, at that one moment in time he could not even be bothered to come up with a smart ass remark. Sadly this was a common theme in that class. Apparently this is what happens when you have an open enrollment university in a very sheltered area. I frequently questioned how some of the people enrolled in my classes got themselves dressed in the morning.
abbott8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:54 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What translation of Huckleberry Finn should I get?
spacedarrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:02 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are fuel cells made from stem cells?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's for lunch. When is lunch. What page.
taz20075 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:21 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people that ask questions.
-My Freshman year high school math teacher
fatmagneto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 7th grade a student asked the teacher who who Pearl Harbor was.
The whole class was silent for a solid 30 seconds.
ThorTheMastiff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:25 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's no such thing as a stupid question, just the stupid people who ask them.
SamuelSmythe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looking at a vial with the air pumped out asking, "Where's the vacuum?"
Land_War_in_Asia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Where do you work?"
Johnnyschuler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spanish is so fun it's like learning a new language
Graphic_Materialz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:47 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I heard two High-schoolers (twin guys) asked these questions at separate times, totally non-sequitur :
" Is a tree a livin' animal?"
"If you took a cup o' wattah undah wattah could you drink it undah wattah?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in my class in high school. "You mean new York city isn't apart of new Jersey?" He was completely surprised that NYC is apart of new York state.
FusRoDawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA in a laboratory course on embedded control. Students work in groups, building digital circuits and programming them. 2 weeks before the final, one of the guys who i thought was doing well until that point, asked me if it matters which way a resistor goes ( if a resistor had polarity). Turns out he was doing the programming part of the lab, while his group did the rest.
WeslyAdvanceSP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but this is still one of the funniest yet dumbest questions I've ever heard. So first I have to explain a thing or two. So where I live, we have a social system-thingy, that whenever you have children, you get a bit of money in order to be able to take care of them. It's called child allowance. So the question was: do you get child allowance if you do an abortion?
Lameduck57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when i student taught "is Lincoln on the penny because he helped colored people?"
Freakz0rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely not a teacher, but a colleague asked (he was about 15 or 16 at the time) to our history teacher: "When the pyramids were built, from which side do they started? I mean, they started bottom to top or top to bottom?". The teacher replied with an eraser: "Here, let me try top to bottom... Okay, gravity exists, and I'm pretty sure it existed back then".
MeudzTheCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:51 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister once asked "If I put my ice cream in the freezer will it melt?". We laughed so hard. She also asked "does the sun have a dark side?".
Slightmeatsweats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:04 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cracked up reading that. Was the class dying with laughter?
DenseHunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex Ed class I was in (7th grade). Popular girl proceeds to ask "Can you get pregnant from oral sex". We all then proceeded to laugh. It was the last day of teaching too which made it even better.
mscogsworthy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college, all incoming freshmen were required to take History of Western Literature. One of the pieces of reading was from The Iliad. Prof introduces it, tells us all about Greek civilization.
Two weeks later, we're discussing some part, and this guy in the front row raises his hand and asks, "What's a Greek?"
Prof looks at him and asks, " Well, do you mean philosophically...?" Obviously trying to throw him a rope.
Nono. He meant it literally. He had no idea where Greek people were from, or what or where Greece was.
eskiey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 2nd and 3rd graders. At least once a day, when I'm teaching a math lesson, a kid will interrupt to ask, "Is this writing?". Or in writing, they'll ask, "Is this science?"
They don't mean "Is this content related to writing?", they mean "is it writing time right now?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:22 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had to lead a marching band and this one fat kid asked "if mayonnaise was an instrument" and told him no and told him that horseradish isn't an instrument either.
Whiasco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from a city 9 hours away from the one I currently live in.
Group of 11 year olds telling me I should get a job working with juniors at a school nearby. Told them I didn't know where that school was because I'm from a diff city.
Student 1: I see you at the bus stop after school Student 2: do you catch the bus from (home city) to school every day??
High_Guardian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:09 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher once when I was in highschool a student asked why we didnt just "fly up and scrape off" sunspots.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but we were discussing the silk road and this one person raised their hand and asked why didn't they just use trucks.
Vixy6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I currently teach high school English in CA, and every day at least one student asks me: "do I need to put my name on this [shows worksheet/homework]?" I respond with "well, what do you think?" To which the reply is usually "um, I dunno, you know me right?" Sure you and my 100 other students; sure I can decipher your chicken scratch and improper grammar from everyone elses. Then two days later, "Ms. It (the online gradebook) says I'm missing this assignment. Me: "did you put your name on it?" Student: " no, I thought you'd figure it out." "Go check the 'no name' bin." "Wow, there's a lot of stuff in here."
DivineArbalest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you're getting technical, sure, but you know what I mean
Zerd85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher (yet), but I did spend 6 years as a store manager for a retail store. When I was done with my questions, I always asked, "Do you have any questions for me regarding the position or the company?"
I literally had someone reply, "Yeah, what can I get away with here?"
kindcrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:27 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did Christ die?
Orderves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:18 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Primary teacher here! I can't think of the stupidest question a student has asked me, but I can certainly remember the stupidest thing I had to say to a student when taken out of context.
We were doing a craft activity, and I had a few students who weren't naughty as such, but were a bit mischievous, and I'd already had to field some minor behaviours before they escalated into a problem - be careful with the glue, make sure you don't lose your parts, that sort of thing.
Long story short, I had to keep a straight face while saying to a student "What have I told you about gluing things to your face?!"
Freschyfresch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 I've heard we're:
Kid was taking a test. 8th grade History class. The sub was willing to help guide in the right direction but not give the answer. Kid calls over the sub and goes can you help me with the extra credit I don't watch C-Span. "Who is the current Vice President of the United States. At this time Obama and Biden were voted into office 3 months prior.
Second one was a sub took over for this reading class while the teacher was on emergency leave for something. Girl asks how long he would be gone for. Sub replies a couple of days. "16?"
AdumD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a religion course in college and one of my classmates asked the professor "Is there stealing in Heaven?". She was completely serious
tinmanshrugged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's brother asked during a social studies course "And what can be done about illegal immigrants crossing the border from Mexico to Kentucky?"
goodolarchie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:28 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask a question?
*May
jonvoightspencil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you know that chapstick feels really weird when applied to your eyelids?" I think it was some new, weird way to get high.
sparkydoctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:12 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My best buddy's girl friend thought Cinco de Mayo was the celebration of the making of Mayonnaise in Mexico in the Mayonnaise plant.
Hephlathio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:24 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Great Britain the large or the small one?
XP01s0n1vYx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I ask a question?"
possessed_flea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just did
XP01s0n1vYx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:13 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
lord_darovit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:45 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In sophomore year of high school, one of my friends thought Jupiter was bigger than our sun.
vape_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:38 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would save you from feeling dumb again
Cancerian808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's the difference between thirty-four hundred and three thousand four hundred?" -from my teacher friend about her student because I am not a teacher. Girl was pretty embarressed when she realized that they were both 3,400 (in Highschool)
hanna-xo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:36 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I found this paper clip over there, what should I do with it?"
whenweplayedpirates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but my senior year of high school I took an International Studies course with a couple of friends. One of said friends proceeded to ask "Where's Russia located?" during an easy color-the-map assignment at the beginning of the year.
parachute--account ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PhD student in the same lab as me: "Which one is the hot tap?"
Vox_Deus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Did they like, have cars in Roman times?"
saiasox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:05 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise" ?
sageicedragonx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:00 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was visiting my boyfriend at the time in Indiana and his nice asked me if they spoke english in Florida.
I answered "sometimes." Before I explained that Florida is part of the US, so yes we do speak English.
sXe_savior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:56 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember in freshman biology, we were having a chill day and just having conversations with the teacher. At one point, we got to the topic of the murders of Tupac and Biggie Smalls. As we were talking, one girl (who has asked many stupid questions before) raised her hand and said "Wait, he's not dead, Tupac is living in Puerto Rico." She was so befuddled to find out Tupac had been dead since 1996.
LordofGalaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:49 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in band class we were talking about this marching band festival where high schools from all over would come together and play their halftime shows. When our teacher was ready to move on he asked if anyone had any questions and this one percussion kid asked "So are we going to perform or what?" The class was silent for a few seconds before bursting out laughing
acostel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:23 on January 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you never grow out of it
renosvt29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:22 on January 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High School English teacher here. I have started a document of student questions, they have been so miserable this year. Here are some highlights (lowlights):
โข (while I am checking vocab homework) โThis vocab book is my brotherโs, so it is all filled in. Do I have to buy a new one?โ
โข (while taking a pop quiz over a reading assignment): โI didnโt read the story, do I have to take the quiz?โ
โข (after finishing a lesson I was really proud of and worked really hard on): โข Me: Any questions? โข Student (raises hand): Yeah, what time is lunch today?
โข (While plotting the rhyme scheme of a poem - in HIGH SCHOOL) โWhat letter comes after โhโโ?
mrchimmie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:55 on January 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, and doesn't really refer to students. So I am Brazilian, when I first was dating my wife and meeting her family, they would ask me how back home was... All the time, not just her family though, most Americans just seem to have no understanding of geography, at least 15 years ago... After a while of answering these nonsense questions, her aunt, about 30 years old at the time, at a table at some wedding we went to asked how we get to work, I said at 16 instead of getting drivers licenses we all get pet elephants to ride around the jungle to go to work in our treehouses, sad thing is she didn't know I was being sarcastic and neither did anyone else there, which resulted in about 50 more questions
Jackins_Shipgutter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:42 on February 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but two years ago (we were 16) a student was was shocked to learn that horses ate grass, she thought horses ate rabbits...
ounziw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:22 on February 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a HS/College basketball referee and I had the school's official scorekeeper ask me before the game, "How many quarters are there?"
VulcanPrincess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:10 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was teaching fifth grade.
Student: so-and-so called me black, that's racist!
My mom: No it isn't. I don't get offended if people call me white.
(another) student: but Ms. Harding, you're not white, you're black!
My mom: holds out her arm Miracle, do I look black?
student: But you lived in Africa, you have to be black!
Of course the really sad part is that there are grown adults who think that if two white people have a baby in Africa the baby will be born black.
thejarrell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:36 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It'd be cool to see an ambidextrous quarter back that could easily roll out both ways."
"Ambidextrous? You mean like with a fake leg or something?"
thejarrell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:48 on February 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One or my class mates was having hard time understanding how the solar system works and said the following all within 10 minutes: "So wait. Is the moon next to the Earth or the Sun?" "The sun is bigger than us?!" In response to being told about the rotation and orbit of the Earth: "I didn't know we was movin" This happened this year. We are Juniors.
roadrimo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:10 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a girl had just returned from a trip to Puerto Rico and a guy in class asked her "so are there beaches in Puerto Rico?"
Like does it have beaches ??!? Really bro? It's a damn island son.
ms_amadeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:26 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Does the Great Wall of China stop, or does it just not continue?"
ms_amadeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:37 on February 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Was Gothic architecture made by goth people?"
jeanjacket1127 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:27 on February 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach a theater course at a top public university
A girl student after class on the first day asked me "how do they perform The Little Mermaid on Broadway if you can't sing underwater?"
Xx_Southpaw_xX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:11 on February 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here, Once upon a time my friend was asked what nationality Jesus was. She responded "European." After the initial laughter, she tried to salvage the damage by yelling "No! He's Ukrainian!" I forced her to google what nationality Jesus was, followed by her butchering the pronunciations of both the word "Hebrew" and "Israel."
She also tried to convince me that milk is just bubbly water.
I had to explain to another girl that yes, catfish ARE real animals.
MrTunafish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:38 on March 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher, but a kid in my class asked how you spell GPS. We were about 12 years old. INB4 he wasn't diagnosed with dyslexia.
I_ENJOY_NUDES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:24 on March 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in Environmental Science, an extremely easy hs freshman science class, a girl asked if the sun was living.
gabiwaters12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:57 on March 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but once a girl in my class asked our biology teacher if we could still stand up if we had no bones in our body.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:19 on March 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but when I was in high school biology, one of my classmates asked the professor if they could get the nutritional benefits of eating fish by pulling the fish out of the water, licking it, and putting it back. I have no idea how he thought that would work.
jayke_obe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:06 on March 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a Teacher, but two stories about classmates in 9th and 10th grade (Aged 14 and 15)
In science class it was revealed to a.classmate that the Sun was a star. His response was "but it's so big?" And we quickly explained that that was because we were so close. I don't know his back story but I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt and just chalk it up to not being given that knowledge before.
Now this next class...
In 10th year we were in an Algebra class and someone asked out loud "Why does it say A for Effort? Effort starts with an 'E?" Then the majority of the class murmured in agreement. I was really shocked at this one. I don't think I was able to explain through the commotion.
__Iniquity__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:00 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Training new soldiers "I've heard about people jumping on grenades. Does that put it out?"
carrotsticks123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were studying Pride and Prejudice, and the teacher was explaining the geography and location of where it took place. He must have been confusing because half way through a girl blurts out, "Wait, so America is in Britain?"
Chichi_lovesme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:14 on March 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in my junior year of high school we were having a lesson and the teacher mentions England. One of the girls in class raises her hand and, I kid you not, asks "What's an England?"
Wokerthanbuddha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:56 on March 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna have to go with the genius who couldn't find Europe on a globe, proceeds to ask me where to find it, and says that they thought it was in the US. I dislike high schoolers.
sloppy_jay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:02 on March 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach high school seniors in a self-contained credit recovery and college/career readiness classroom.
One of my students was filling out an online application for a pretzel place in the mall
Student: "Miss, what do I say where it says 'why do you want to work here?'"
Me (eternal eye roll)- Well, think about why you're applying and what you hope to gain from the experience"
Student: "and I should be honest?"
Me: "yes, what are you going to say?"
Student: "I wrote 'the thick cashier.'"
Later, while practicing interviewing skills, he thought it was appropriate to ask an interviewer about how many days he gets off, the procedure for calling in sick/busy, and their zodiac sign (to "show interest")
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:14 on April 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Sophomore biology class we watched a dramatization piece on Typhoid Mary where it was a costume drama, so early century clothes, style of speaking, mustaches, the whole shebang. At the end of the video, the class dumbass, a really sweet but ditzy girl, asked "so, were those the real people? How did they film them if it was one hundred years ago? Aren't they dead?"
This is them same girl who, when Titanic 3-D was released, didn't realize Titanic actually happened. She was under the impression that it was just a Hollywood creation. Her mind was blown when we showed her facts and news clippings. She was heartbroken, however, to discover Jack and Rose are fake.
sedhyt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:13 on April 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once one of my classmates insisted that there were two kinds of horses: racehorses and "regular" horses that just trotted.
The teacher was just like "okay if you can prove this to me I will believe you" because she had been dealing with his shit for two years now.
This same guy said something really controversial about abortions "Some people want to kill people that aren't even born yet"- I think that's what he said, at least, it's been a while.
That teacher also once had to explain to him what the holocaust was. Seriously. Somehow he had never learned anything about the whole event. Makes you wonder what it's like for him at home.
We all liked him, pretty much. He at least kept things entertaining. I didn't like him as much as he once made up this whole song about me and another student I was "dating" at the time, and was actually going to sing it in front of our whole grade (our band teacher thought it was funny and okayed it- come to think of it she might've been messing with us, she liked both me and the guy and was a pretty chill teacher) before we broke up and the guy started going out with one of my best friends.
akaheroes2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:45 on May 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but some kid in sex ed asked if you can get pregnant from oral.
Tonguebuster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:58 on May 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In year 8, we were having an open class discussion about earthquakes and their effect on people. The was a gap in conversation and a girl sitting next to me yelled out "wait what happens if you're on a plane" I laughed The class laughed The teacher laughed She went red
Boiling_Flesh666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:28 on May 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has nothing to do with me bring a teacher, but it does have to do with should. The last time I heard, my ex was taking level 1 college biology for the THIRD time. She was trying to become a nurse but couldn't get through any type of training until she passed biology. We've been broken up since 2014, and I still wonder to this day if she ever passed it. Or eventually gave up to pursue an easier career. I hope to god she's not a nurse. But I kinda get why she failed biology. Because, her dad is from Mexico, and her mom is a sexy white trophy wife, but apparently she's not Mexican. Not even half. I had to sit her down and explain it to her. She still didn't get it. I'm glad we're broken up.
CosmicTubes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:26 on June 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student-Back in 7th grade, in social studies, we were doing an assignment on natural resources. We were also allowed to talk, which was nice, because it made the blurting out of "What's a turtle?" by a classmate only a little less funny. Don't get me wrong, it was very funny, but could you imagine someone blurting that out when it's quiet?
leo1433 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:42 on June 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. Last year we were watching a movie on one of the last days of school where you don't do anything. There was a scene in the movie where some people go swimming in this big lake and this one girl just has this look of bewilderment on her face the whole time. When the scene ends, she goes, "Where did they get all that water? How did they film that?"
jon_cli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:13 on June 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 9th grade, we were learning The Merchant of Venice, talking about royalty and monarchs, a guy asked is this the same monarch as a monarch butteryfly. He was sent to the principals office, cause the teacher thought he was trolling, if he actually was, i dunno.
HeroDude3322 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:36 on July 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, had a girl in my sophomore year of high school ask our AP world teacher, out of no where these words "but wait, doesn't China own half of the United States" and I could barely contain my laughter while the rest of the class remained silent. Idk how the hell she made her way into that class. Later that year, something about South Africa came up and she burst out and raised her and and went,"oooh oooh aren't those the people with those yellow thingys" and proceeded to made a point with her hands, like a 90 degree angle tilted 45 degrees? It's hard to explain but after 3 minutes she said triangle things and someone else shouted,"DO YOU MEAN THE PYRAMIDS" and she said,"yeeeaaaah". I honestly don't know how she got in that class. She didn't drop either, stayed all the way through with an F
mostlyannoying1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:40 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in one of my secondary 1 classes (grade 7) a girl asked what a newspaper was
LoneWolf4717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:37 on July 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hella late comment, but what the hell. In 9th grade my teacher was demonstrating how propaganda and genuine fake news could affect the beliefs and views of the public. He created an article stating that Earth had been contacted by aliens over the weekend and surprisingly, a lot of the class believed him. Me and my friend were laughing quietly about it since the article had tons of spelling errors, a cheesy and obviously fake title, and to top it off; the alien's picture was from the cover of a PS2 game.
If anyone else figured it out, they just seemed to play along while the class idiots asked a mirade of stupid questions. At one point, a notoriously stupid girl asked:
"Do you think I could, like, keep one as a pet?"
She was dead serious about it to. In fact, IIRC, she insisted that she should get one as a pet. I was surprised my teacher could keep going along with it, because both me and my friend's minds were blown by the stupidity of that remark.
...but then again, this was also coming from the class that had to have a 20 minute discussion as to why planes weren't a practical countermeasure to submarines in World War 1.
37chickenducks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:57 on July 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid ask once if Mexico had colleges.
sagetrees ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: a bunch of assholes making fun of kids who are just trying to learn and not remembering that at some point they too knew nothing.
Nug_Pug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:14 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based off of the grammar in the comments section I doubt anyone here is a teacher.
Tirty8 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:48:23 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need a comma after section.
Kinda1OfAKind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Christian HS. 11th grade. This girl seriously thought oral sex was when "we talked about sex". After I told her what it was she was surprisingly down. Though she seriously tried to suck my penis off on her first attempt.
Later she told me that she never knew about masturbating, when I touched her for the first time she was like omg wow. She came from a very, very sheltered home.
Tmasw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's mean, but theres no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people.
an_eloquent_enemy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How far is Earth from space?" -high school
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
an_eloquent_enemy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand where they might be coming from, but seeing as the kid spelled it "erth" I'm not exactly sure even she knew what she was asking.
BeatlesSpong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people. -Herbert Garrison
get-a-line ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student asked our teacher why didn't electrons fall off due to centrifugal force if I rotate this pen
DeltaF1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a stupid question imo
splendourized ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of those threads you just know begin with "Not a _______ but"
the_murder_of_crowe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a girl in my high school freshman science course asked if an erection was a physical or chemical change.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paging Kevin
sgraymckean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They say, "There are no stupid questions, only stupid people." (Think about it... questions can't be stupid... but the person asking it can be) Saying the first half implies the second... like a subtle unspoken insult.
grizzfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Horrible grammar used by teachers as they tell us about dumb questions their students ask. The incorrect uses of to/too/two and there/their/they're are too damn high!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
varsity14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher" but in my sophomore year of high school, I took a global studies class. One girl asked our teacher why "we don't just bomb all of the terrorist countries if they are such a problem".
On a separate occasion, she asked if they were currently celebrating Christmas in Iran, "because of the time difference." It was the 14th of December.
BlackAdam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
strigif0rm3s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife teaches 4th grade in Texas. Her class talked about the Alamo and described it for months prior to a field trip there. For those of you that don't know, the Alamo (made of limestone) is surrounded by modern day buildings. Anyway as the bus pulls up to the Alamo, one student looking out the (wrong) side of the bus at a HUGE several-story building, made of metal, glass, mirrors etc yells out, "Is that the Alamo"??!?!
SLAP SHOULD HAVE HAD A V8
thechurchofharambe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why did Lou Gehrig invent that disease?"
Yep.
reagan-nomics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the age, I don't find most of these questions (at least the top ones) that bad. Some of them are pretty decent impromptu lessons. I would bet other students are thinking the same thing, but are too afraid to ask.
meekrab666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, but a witness in my class during college: a girl asked, what's hitler's last name...
Hanse00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I can understand this question coming up. It's irregular to refer to people by their last name (At least where I'm from), but we almost never mention Hitler's first name.
If you heard someone only referred to as King, you would assume that was his first, not last, name.
acamann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but I overheard one girl tell another "there's no 'I' in 'quit'!'"
Then after a moment of her group snickering at her, she paused and said "oh wait no, I meant 'you,' there's no 'you' in 'quit'"
Eighth grade.
Hanse00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no "You" in "Quit".
quantasmm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:06:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
QYouit
lock_ed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher. But when I was in high school my girlfriend asked "is it true that the world used to be in black and white?" We broke up for unrelated reasons, I imagine it was for the best though.
Malted_Shark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i asked a teacher that question in highschool.
lock_ed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to assume you're not my ex because I don't want to get a new reddit account.
Malted_Shark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are correct, I did not date while in high school. I am female though.
blackguylips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but last year in my COLLEGE history class, my professor was explaining about the formation of NASA and how it cost millions of dollars and this girl in front me calmly raised her hand and proceeds to say, "That's really stupid. Why did they spend so much money when they know that space doesn't exist?" This bitch was dead-ass serious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"When's March?"
Montagg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently had a student ask me, "Mr. Montagg, did you know that some airplanes don't have TVs on them?"
Applecat32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:52 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my AP European History class, a girl asked, "What was Hitler's last name?"
Advanced Placement... just how?
BloodThirstyChimera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, made me chuckle.
drunken_man_whore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do meteors always land in craters? Is baby oil made from babies?
ndrwwbstr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:11 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was walking through the hallway towards my classroom and a student stopped me and asked "Are we having class today?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a wise man named Mr. Garrison said, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Lemming3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:37 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Student once asked me why don't we just build a wall between the USA and Mexico.
-Psychonautics- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, and this will be buried;
In my freshman year of highschool, one guy managed to convince a girl enough to ask the teacher, "Do Japanese people have eyes like that because of the bombs?"
Troll level OG
bbshabob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IIT: Not a teacher but...
Capntk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school, this girl in our AP World History class asked if the movie 10,000 B.C. was historically accurate. She wasn't the brightest.
DistanceXtime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach the first grade and tend to have a goofy sense of humour with them. They learn better and can remember the weirdest things. So this question comes from the quiet kid that only responds to baseball orientated questions/statements. So he asks "Mr.DistanceXtime why are you so stupid?". At this point the vice principle walks past my classroom as I loudly called his name out. He gets pulled out of class and gets a stern talking to. Knowing he is always a good kid, I stepped in and defended the little guy, assuming he ment to say "silly".
bludknight1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another classmate of mine once asked "What's Hitler's last name?"
Indiana_ace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last time a variation of this question was asked, someone said every time a teacher told them, 'there are no stupid questions,' he would ask "how come meteors always land in craters?"
Rudeandreckless1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So not stupid necessarily but still an amazing story. A few years ago I was in a classroom with middle schoolers doing sex ed. One day the med student brought contraceptives to class and upon seeing a female condom one of my female students eyes got big as she shouted oh, "oh my god he's supposed to be big enough to fill that!"
purehonestea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher - this girl in my college Biology class asked the professor if women had prostates ๐
theorangey ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:35:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in a class, but in a conversation with a neighborhood kid. Context: it was nighttime, and the planets Venus and Jupiter were right next to each other in the sky.
I pointed the two planets out to him: "That bright one is Venus, and the other one next to it is Jupiter."
Kid answered: "Where's Earth?"
dondonfit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but in my biology class in 8th grade (Advanced bio I may add) we were learning about reproduction. My teacher brought up that Yao Ming was actually made in a test tube to specifically become a basketball player. I, being the intelligent 14 year old I was, blurted out, "Wow, must have been a big test tube!" My teacher was laughing so hard she almost fell on the floor.
alisonmc1000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a stupid question, but maybe a telling one. Teaching a history class of ninth graders who were all from diverse and mixed backgrounds in a safe city neighbourhood in Toronto. No white kids in the class. We watched Schindler's List and in the scene when a Nazi killed a Jew in the clearing of the ghetto in Warsaw, the kids were confused because they couldn't believe that someone could just kill someone else without a reason. They also didn't understand why Germans hated the Jews, as one kid said, "Aren't they both white?"
truskawahwdp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there were white kids in the class they would probably do a fist pump, God forbid.
alisonmc1000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they were Jewish...
Fragzilla360 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:05:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Topic says stupid questions.
alisonmc1000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right.
foxboroliving ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Doesn't chocolate milk come from chocolate cows?"
She was in 12th grade and completely serious.
19surf75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach AP Physics and during one of my lectures, an 11th grade boy raised his hand and asked, "Gravity is like that downward force, right?". I stormed out of the classroom and threw the conveniently placed desk at the wall of the hallway.
jacobslighthouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's no such thing as stupid questions, only stupid Teachers and there's a lot of them.
Ihateloops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell do these posts always end up with a bunch of people saying "I'm not a _ but..."
Nyrb10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my nineth grade geography course asked if you could walk across the Atlantic Ocean to Europe during the winter. Her train of thought being that the entire ocean would freeze.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite what you're asking, but we had a game in high school where with friends we would pick some random words before class, and the goal was to ask a question to the teacher during class containing said word. And of course you needed to keep a straight face.
So... one time, I had "fox". It was a geography class where energy policies were being discussed, so I seized my chance. I raised my hand, teacher gave me the nod, and I asked:
"Do they make experiments on foxes in nuclear plants?"
The classroom erupted. The teacher looked at me like I was dumber than a doorknob. I had the silent approval of my fellow players. I was basking in glory.
vinchenzo54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach band. Told a beginning percussion student to grab the hi-hat. He asked "What's a hi-hat? Do I get to wear it?"
punchyboxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, in Anatomy class we were checking our heart rate, some girl couldn't find her pulse and legit asked wait am I dead?
batterymoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ I fear for the future
cam_putin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I knew a student who thought slavery ended in the 1990's. He was 17
MsFoxTrott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher. "Where are Burmese pythons from?" takes the cake. I was the one to ask, actually, and I'm not proud of it.
JackofScarlets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, in primary school, the teacher wrote a few phrases on the board that were incorrect, and we had to fix them (think, "a whole nother"). I saw "the safternoon" and couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. The teacher was very disappointed haha
vansc14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't the teachers but a fellow student. This is in gr.8, at a catholic private school (uniforms and such) one kid legitimately didn't know how to tie his shoes. Kid was an asshole, bullied me. No sympathy. Like he wasn't retarded, he was just stupid.
bripatrick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like he had a great home life.
Ekaf_Eman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but someone at my table during APES in 12th grade started talking to me about how amazing it was that you could travel to the future or past by flying on a plane. Proceeded to explain time zones and how we were not literally traveling through time everytime we flew a plane for the next 10minutes. Still makes me angry to this day.
BrujaBean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA for introductory biology (college freshmen mostly) and we often went to a park with a pond to collect water samples, etc. One day there was a dead bee in the water and one of the students asked me, "what's that?" Obviously, I explained that it was a water bee; they evolved fins instead of stingers. The student was like "really!?" And I responded "no... it's just a dead bee."
VCRrepairman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a stupid question: but my girlfriend didn't know you could smell your hair, by raising your head and sniffing.
She also didn't know, I used the last of her expensive shampoo this morning.
happybunnyntx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The horror!
ENTRAILSofANGELS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of run-on sentences, grammatical errors, and bad punctuation in these comments posted by teachers is pretty funny.
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE THAT SAYING
All it is REALLY saying is that stupid people have no right to ask questions!!
Think about it!
As long as there are stupid people there will be stupid questions
STUPID PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF ASKING ANYTHING OTHER THAN STUPID QUESTIONS-- example Mike Pence.
Soooooo by saying there are no stupid questions you are denying stupid people the right to ask questions
governmentyard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:01 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...it would save time though.
ShiftySam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my high school history class we were learning about WWII. When our teacher sat down one day to start talking about the invasion of Normandy, he said, "Ant now on do ze invasion of Norm-an-dy."
A not so bright girl in our class exclaimed, "Oh! Coach! I didn't know you spoke German!"
Apparently she thought everyone else in the world just speaks English with an accent, not an actual different language.
gamaknightgaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but TWO kids in my seventh grade class did not now that Missouri was a state. AND I LIVE IN THE US! One of these kids (who was supposedly part of the group of smart kids) also did not know where India is. As a person who is an expert in geography and history, this scares me.
kyle_gibson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:39 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT lame old teachers unable to identify students messing around.
mr_goodbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:26 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Not a teacher, but..."
bass-masta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I borrow a pencil? SO ANNOYING
jon_the_ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but we were talking about early civilizations(Mesopotamia) and one boy says "that was when we had the big country (referring to Pangea) right".
iamtoastshayna69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:01 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligated not a teacher. But I was in a level 400 university class. I had to explain to a teammate that wikipedia is not a viable resource. I made them find a new resource for their information as I was team lead that week. (Classes were online and only 5 weeks long) I still have no idea how they got that far. In a level 300 class I had to explain that if you don't participate in a team assignment, you won't any credit for it. When their name didn't get added they flipped out at me. I told them to bring it up to the instructor who had been watching the team discussions and had decided that she didn't participate so she didn't deserve a grade on the assignment. I just finished my degree last week and I am SOOOO glad I am done dealing with these people.
hostilenorthern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:06 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn i doubt there's this many teachers in here
Hanz_nope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:08 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How Do flowers bang if there stationary
Seminolesoldier2620 ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 13:59:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once projected a picture of Earth onto the front board. A student asked,"How do astronauts stand on Earth?"
Wick3dGeek ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:14:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have already read this like 5 minutes ago.
EDIT: lol it was you, probably want more karma ... https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5qgkp5/teachers_of_reddit_they_say_there_are_no_stupid/dcz4cgh/
Troloscic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More likely just posted twice accidentaly
TheNessLink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they fall off oh look I'm about to fall toooooooooooooooooo
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 15:16:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Not a teacher but..."
FUCK OFF!
The_Red_Apple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You alright there buddy?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:19:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't an overused response to something that is obviously not actual anger.
Orngog ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Presumably downed for language? Good point tho
dopkick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:22:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I worked with all co-op students who came to our organization, so I spent a lot of time teaching these students. All of the students were electrical or computer engineers. One of them, who was about to start his senior year, seemed particularly dim. He was clearly just not getting it and behind even where I would expect someone with substantially less experience to be.
Eventually I said something like "we need to connect this pin on this chip to that pin on that chip."
His response? "How do I do that?"
I face palmed and said "with a wire." He seemed to have a revelation that electrical signals could be transmitted over a wire.
He was not offered a full time position.
stevecook23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:32:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I go to the toilet?"
I don't know, CAN YOU? I think what you mean is 'may I go to the toilet' because I'm sure you probably are ABLE to.
Even better when they ask if they can quickly go. I don't know, can you? Or does it take a long time...?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:23:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
stevecook23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:26:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grammatically correct though, which is my job after all ;-)
ReallyHadToFixThat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The official definition of "can" includes "be permitted to". You aren't being smart, you are being an ass.
hulagirl4737 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:13:21 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Whats the difference between income and revenue?"
A 3rd year finance major...
kickbored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:37 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty terrible finance major if income vs. revenue is still not clear to the person. IDK why you got a downvote for this.
lefebvre221 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:15:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
let me tell you the dumbest shit teachers hear and i know this will surprise you but its a republican talking point "teachers make too much $$"
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 13:09:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NormieX ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:51:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a half sheet of paper?
popsickle_in_one ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:08:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a5
NormieX ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A4 is half an A3, so my question still stands.
popsickle_in_one ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:25:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A4 is the most used though
Apart from in North America where they use some random size that doesn't maintain the ratios when folded, for some reason.
evoactivity ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:00:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A half sheet of paper is still a full sheet of paper. Half a4, half a3? Half of what?
Magnificent_Z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what those are. A sheet of paper is just a sheet of paper.
evoactivity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An international standard of paper sizes, a4 being the common size for letters and home printers http://www.papersizes.org/a-paper-sizes.htm
Magnificent_Z ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:43 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live we usually just refer to it by its measurement in inches. 8.5 by.11. 11 by 17. Things like that, and if someone just says "a sheet of paper" everyone automatically goes to 8 5 by 11.
evoactivity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I know, I was being facetious. But still, half a sheet is still a full sheet.
Astilaroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:09 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you rip it in half in front of the teacher and continue until told to stop ;)
liquidblue92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not when the dimensions of the piece you're starting with are known.
evoactivity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's only half in relation to something else. It's doesn't have the property of being half intrinsically.
liquidblue92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean relating to the dimensions of the paper you're starting with? When someone says piece of paper in the US, they mean an 8.5 x 11 piece. If they don't mean 8.5 x 11 they will say what size of paper they are referring to.
evoactivity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I know, I was being facetious. But still, half a sheet is still a full sheet.
Aleitheo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like ignorance to me, did the teacher mean half of an A4 sheet? Because it doesn't matter what size or shape it is, it's still a sheet of paper. The teacher was being awkward here if that was the case.
Btdickerson ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is 9/11?"
emdave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:14 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the phone number for the police.
1burton1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:59:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would.ve gotten a 'A' had I taken it at Michigan.....
leggobrick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:12:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher but there was this one girl in my high school history class who asked the teacher when the all the color in the world turned on. She also asked if it was a gradual thing where color slowly started to appear or if it was instantaneous like a light switch. We all thought she was joking...
wesdotcool ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:13:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asked my high school physics teacher "If you flushed a toiled next to a black hole, which way would the water spin?"
Ever since then he's referred to dumb questions as "toilet questions"
oneslypenguin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:42:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but there's this one really stupid kid in my grade who is gullible of nearly anything. He once asked the teacher "what is the purpose of the governator" when discussing state government. We were also able to convince him earlier this year that Prince was the lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, his favorite band, and that's why he should care more about Prince's death. He was completely devastated when we convinced him of this and believed it for a solid two weeks. The kid is a senior in high school and has no mental illness whatsoever
catsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He will if you don't stop with that shit. Better tell him how to look things up.
bs13690 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:10:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my daddy?
Sir_Giraffe161 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:16:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flight instructor here.
I was explaining how an engine works to a new student. As I was getting to the fuel system, he asked "Wait how does the engine combust if all the fuel is in the tank and none is in the cylinders?" After delving deeper in to the issue, he had thought all the fuel was held in the cylinders. I suppose he was just never taught how an engine works.
jbloom3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:56:16 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where's my boy Kevin?
Geaux2424 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:30:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but heard a woman ask a question in a college level course. She asked if semen was constructed of sugars, why it tasted so salty?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:43:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told a girl in my class she asked a stupid question today. There are no stupid questions when it comes to the content, but if you ask me to explain the thing I just got done explaining... I consider that a stupid question. And it happens a lot
listserv714 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:18 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should explain it in a way they will understand. Not everyone thinks the same way you do
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I guess context is important...I see she's on her cell phone when I'm explaining it
syde2456 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:45:19 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 8th grade we had this ridiculously hot English teacher. She was a coach for one of the girls sports teams, so really fit and I'm pretty sure this was her first year teaching... 12yo boys, I digress. She was discussing something we'd read in class and it was one of those situations where she'd kinda lost the wheel and we were just asking random questions and she was answering. Some one asked her whether she'd been to Mardi Gras which being in a few hundred miles from New Orleans was something we were all pretty familiar with. Any way she answered that she had and that's when I asked the stupidest question I've ever asked, mind you I'm a good student and raised my hand and waited to be called on to ask "Did you show em your tits?"
Speedking2281 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...don't leave us hanging here.
syde2456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh um, she asked me to stay after class. Was pretty cool about it actually, didn't give me detention or anything. She explained how inappropriate the question was and kinda overall made me feel like a shitty person but never answered it directly... So my guess is yeah, she showed dem titties. There was this one guy in my grade who never let that go, senior year he was still calling me Mardi Gras. Honestly I kinda wish that nickname had caught on with more people.
jaejae26 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:44:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh um , she asked me to stay after class. She's asked me why I would ask a question like that. I said, I dunno, it just popped in my head. She got this weird look In her eyes. She asked if I always think about her tits. At this point, I'm rock hard. Like my body knows what's going to happen next. I told her sometimes. Then, I kid you not, she ripped open her blouse, and her huge tits flopped out. Biggest I ever seen. I won't lie. I was scared. We ended up fucking on her desk for the next twelve hours. My pals won't believe me. Oh well.
syde2456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:10 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, this right here is exactly the way it played out. Disregard any alternative facts you may have heard to the contrary.
Speedking2281 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, that's pretty funny. As a former stupid teenage boy myself, getting put in one's place in terms of stuff like that is always a good thing. So I'm glad she did that, but yeah, that's a pretty slick nickname to have at the same time.
eelee23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:53:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but last night my 16 yr old sister asked me to add the commas and punctuation where she needed it in her paper. Did I mention she's 16?
This also may not be her fault; she was never taught this in school.
PMmegirlybits ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:54:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory I'm not a Teacher but... we were talking about politics and the teacher says something about Condoleezza Rice. Girl in the class "Condoleezza Rice? What is that?"
SymptomaticEtiology ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:56:02 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a tutor but close enough. I was working with an 7th grader after school on his homework. "Why do we have to put a little dot at the end of the words?" I'm pretty sure they were sober.
bboymixer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:59:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Alright class, do [thing]"l."
Student: "Mister, what do we do?"
Permafox ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:34:12 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like every class ever.
bigbootybigdoody ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:00:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is pretty bad.
ba dum tsst
I love you OP
zfighter18 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:10:36 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was the smartest kid in all my freshman year classes. During Government, I got asked by this Nicki Minaj prototype, whose name was actually Nikki, "Hey, u/zfighter18, was Eleanor Roosevelt High School named after the Eleanor Roosevelt?"
All I could reply with was, "Do you know any others?"
VenBede ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:35:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question but 8th grader proudly proclaims that he intends to smoke weed in front of the police station on 4/20 because "it will be legal" (this was about 10 years ago).
When pressed further he replied that weed is legal throughout the nation on 4/20 but returns to being illegal on 4/21. So you have to get all of your smoking in during that one day where you can, apparently, smoke in front the police station as they watch you powerlessly.
It was super tempting to not correct this and watch the little fucker get arrested for smoking weed in front of the police station. But I decided to adult and correct his wrong thinking.
Biggest life regret.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:41:38 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is Jay-Z in the Illuminati?"
aTOMic_fusion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:43:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: "Not a teacher but..."
harrpii ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:46:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a girl in my class ask the spelling of A , like actually the word A.
RollOnDough91 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:47:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student sincerely ask me "do tigers have ears?" while drawing for an assginment.
hashtagpow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:51:20 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former student I wanna throw out a question I asked when I was 6 or 8. I asked my teacher how to spell UP. She rightfully looked and me like I was crazy and said "come on you know how to spell that. You know what 7-up is.".
Peatreeee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:51:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a high school student... My freshman year in biology, my teacher was comparing the amount of cells in our bodies to the grains of sand in the ocean. This one girl raises her hand and asks "Wait, but I thought cells were bigger than grains of sand??" From that point on (it was only September) I knew it was gonna be a longgggg year.
jwktiger ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:52:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher is say A question is only stupid if you don't know the answer. That's why trial lawyers are morons, they can only ask questions know the answer to.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:55:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I use the bathroom?"
mathalf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:19:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'why is there an icecream on your cap?' .. told the kid to type in guwop on youtube when he got home
mikewake49 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:36:31 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once asked me "What channel is the channel 3 news on?"
_pvnda ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:33:22 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you type Roman numbers on a keyboard?
unflushableshit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:53 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher, but freshman college student. In my art history class, we had a 21 year old student ask "do people still live in Athens?" He was legitimately shocked to learn Athens is an actual place outside of Greek mythology.
We were also learning about archaic smiles (actual term) which is a signature feature in archaic Greek statues. We were going over an identification quiz with an archaic statue (New York Kouros), and the dude got the question wrong, saying it was a classical statue. He demanded to receive credit with the argument that "the smile wasn't archaic enough".
martinc31415 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:39:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AxB = BxA A+B=B+A
ME: This is the commutative property for multiplication and the commutative property for addition. Student: Which one is the commutative property for addition?
JustSeanAgain ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:40 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my World History class we were watching a speech that Hitler gave (video). One girl raises her hand afterwards and asks "So was that actually Hitler speaking?" Apparently she thought we invented video cameras before microphones.
flinchm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:50 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was teaching genetics and began talking about Dolly the cloned sheep. A student raised her hand and, perplexed, said, "But I thought Dolly was a llama."
Honors student. Not a joke. Maybe a bit dim.
Swefun ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During science class in high school the teacher asks how the penis can get erected. A student answers:'It has a bone'. Teacher:'So, your penis has a bone?'. Student:'Yes, don't everyone have that?'
Bone in my boner, my God ๐
geniusgrrl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:29:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this girl next to me in 1st grade asked, "How do you spell 'I'". It stuck with me to this day
squidmyster64 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:30:17 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A sixth grader asked me why silent movies were always black and white, I told him because everything was black and white back then. He said oh that's what I thought... grade schoolers are so gullible .
Leeroythia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:30:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a conversation overheard between my 7th grade teacher and a co-student of mine. It's been years and I still remember having a hysterical fit internally.
Geography wasn't the easiest concept for this girl, so I felt bad for finding it so funny. We were doing a location search activity, sitting side by side at one of those two person desks, sharing a flat map of the globe. We were making decent time, given the ease of the activity, but as I was focusing, the other student gets a puzzled look on her face and stops working. She raises her hand and calls over the teacher, and when she walked over to our desk, this student asks, "Why are there two Pacific Oceans on the map?"
To which the teacher replied, "Because the world is round?"
Bless her heart.
TubbtheFalloutAddict ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:31:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a girl in my class once asked "Are Nazis and Jews the same thing?" I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life.
imightgobloww ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:23:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What language do you speak in England?"
Straight from the mouth of a Japanese student.
kelbokaggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:23:23 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What were we supposed to do?" - directly after explaining a direction.
kelbokaggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:23:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this for a grade?"
enineci ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:23:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
In high school geography, we were watching a video about animals from different parts of the world. There was a slow motion shot of some cheetahs running. A girl from the back pipes up and asks, "Do they really run that slow?"
Smdh.
dimmu1313 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:26:58 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: lots of teachers who have no idea what knowledge is appropriate for the grade they teach.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:29:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have to regulate and civilize international relations, but first we have to burn your tidy whities, with you in them. Yes?
Echoblammo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:34:56 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third grade, teacher calls on a girl named Jessica who is completely zoned out to answer a VERY simple math problem, like 2+4 simple. She returns to reality and asks "Wait what? How?"
For the next 5ish minutes, everyone starts screaming at Jessica that it's fucking 2+4, use your fingers if you have too, and she panics and freezes up, basically in shock over how to do 2+4
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:46:04 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bushysmalls ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:20:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Kevin?" he asked, as a blank look spread across his face.
"Yes," I replied, "Kevin. The answer is Kevin."
Lego_my_legolas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:21:30 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can
Pegasus814 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:33:40 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught at a tech school for a while. Girl shows up in class on day one, gets syllabus, expectations, etc. Next time I see her is at the final exam (yep, skipped the midterm and all quizzes). I pass out the tests and five minutes later she leaves the class, turning in nothing. After class, I'm meet by her and my boss, overseer of all teachers. He asks what we can do for her... I told them she can pass the midterm and the final and I would remove quizzes from the grade calculation. If she knows the material, I have no problem with her not wasting her time or mine. However, if not, it would be unfair to everyone that came to class and learned the material. I turned in the score she earned, zero, but would bet my house she passed the class to improve the schools graduation percentage.
Dwhoneil ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:01:46 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "Pull your socks together"
Friend: "How would that help??"
kickbored ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:29 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every question that has to do with instructions on how to answer a quiz/exam when instructions are written on the exam sheet. Especially along the lines of "Do we write the letter of the answer, sir? Or do we circle the the letter?"
MakingItWorthit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:31:57 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a stupid question?
Dr-Pecker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:45:44 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked my 6th Grade teacher if we could carbon date water.
She was speechless.
I didn't understand why...25 years later and I'm still not sure I understand ... even today.
OrangeAnonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:11 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because there's no carbon in water?
Dr-Pecker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:10 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th Grade Dr-Pecker thanks you.
(Also, it's an honorary doctorate. /s)
scyaxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:50 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dihydrogen Oxide: see the word carbon in there at all?
Seminolesoldier2620 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:20:16 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same way you do. With their feet.
Icefire6 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:38:24 on April 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why is it called Columbus Day?"
Dab_Meister ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 16:32:48 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck this game
maccam21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is on the Mount Rushmore of cringe
nyabbycat ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:21:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually asked this one back when I was in 6th grade science. We were on a marine biology unit, and learning all about the different marine animals etc...one of them was the aptly named "sperm whale."
I was caught whispering this loudly to my friend:
"So that's why guys shouldn't pee in the swimming pool or oceans! Sperm escapes when they pee and then they'll grow into whales!"
Tbilnakc ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 16:07:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Although I'm not a teacher I was a student in Adv. Human anatomy and Physiology in high school. "Cream if the prop. Hand picked for this advanced class." Anyways... Had a girl raise her hand and ask why sperm tastes salty. I honestly don't know how any of us keep it together from not laughing.
Boner_Patrol_007 ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 14:04:33 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question, but cringeworthy. 9th grade biology. 2 part exam, written and speaking. A girl in my class said, "I'm ready for my oral.... test!"
Teeeeeemooo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:55 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do meteors always fall in creators?
steveinbuffalo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:47 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i dunno how many gods that has really ever happened to.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:07 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DeltaF1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:29 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP please deliver
Houseton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:00 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/simsmaster95 please!
wvspike ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The response I always wanted to give was, "As a professional educator I know there are no stupid questions, but if there were that would be a prime candidate."
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT "not a teacher but..."
UrsaPater ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:54 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no stupid questions... there are stupid PEOPLE, who ask questions.
d33pwint3r ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
literally happened yesterday, I wrote the date in cursive on the board (because the students hate reading cursive) and the student asked what month it was because he couldn't read what the board said
The_Doodz ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:39 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question asked that I just answered.
_Krysix_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:57 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher but as a student of physics once the teacher was showing how if you throw a magnet through a metallic tube it passes slowly and spinning. After that a student asked what happened if the magnet didn't fit into the tube. The teacher put a poker face and just ignored him.
That student asked stupid questions all the time and he wasn't trying to kid the teacher. Certainly not the kind of guy you expect studying physics at a university.
ADXMcGeeHeez ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:03 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in sex ed one of my friends in Middle School asked "why does it hurt when you suck water up with your weewee?"
We never got an answer for that :(
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Band teacher.
I can't think of a good one. Usually "are we playing today?".
JohnTho24 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:08 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you untie me???
Chazzysnax ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:27 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one time in my English class after a pretty extensive unit on the Holocaust and Holocaust literature, a girl asked the teacher what state it happened in.
turtle_xxx ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:49 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, was just a fellow 17 year old student at the time when during a class about Ancient Greece, a girl asked if the rest of the world had been invented yet or if it was just Greece...
nasif10 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:25 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can'the remember the questions she asked, but she asked some pretty stupid ones. Though she wasn't dumb, she had good grades. It's just that she's weirdly dumb at times. This is from a classmate
DMmobile87 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:32 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After receiving a D on a lab report... "If I do better on the next lab report, and the next exam will it bring my grade up?"
pussibilities ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A somewhat smart girl in my 9th grade honors bio class asked if the offspring of identical twins would be identical...
speaks_in_hyperbole ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate posts like this. There are so many stupid questions/thoughts/decisions on a daily basis that there's no way you could remember them unless they had that big of an impact on you, and/or you wrote it down.
riddler1225 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:42 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably get buried, but this is a classic from my childhood and I must share. (Also, not a teacher, just was present)
High School grade 11 - Human Anatomy & Physiology
Spent a week on reproductive organs and all that jazz. Twin cheerleaders in my class sit in front of me. They've been giggly-bits all week long over the subject.
Anyway, the subject of semen comes up and cheerleader A puts her hand up.
"If semen is made up of sugars, why doesn't it taste sweet?"
Of course, the class erupts with laughter and the teacher has to calm everyone down. She was a helluva professional and took the question seriously. Meanwhile Cheerleader A's face is beet red (don't know how she thought people would react). As everyone is finally starting to calm down Cheerleader B chimes in.
"It's because your taste buds are at the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat!"
Everyone completely lost it. Finally the teacher does get everyone to cool their jets and she replies
"Now we've all had a good laugh and hopefully it's out of our systems, but Cheerleader A had a question. (looks directly at Cheerleader A) Your sister is technically correct, thank you both for being so attentive."
Damn, a sick burn, but also knowledge learned. I wish I had half the composure this woman had.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:59 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the stupidest question was, because there are no stupid questions.
Crossta ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:28 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While these are all excellent, I guarantee 90% of them are from American class rooms ๐
MARCOPOLOPELLIGO ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:24 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College astronomy class, we literally went over this since day one... Some smelly kid in the back,,, yeaa. Asks, "How do you sink a Polish ship?" Poland never had a NAVY. And horses can't swim.
aydjile ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:51 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no stupid questions. Only lazy or incompetent educators.
Xyleph42 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:59 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I could share my story but the joke only work in my native language :/
A-trusty-pinecone ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:17 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ClapThatTrap ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 14:05:26 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I like to bring my guitar to school and practice during the hour I have free from classes. I say hour, but it's more like an hour and a half, Lunch and no class after that for me.
Well, if you want to come in and listen to me, go ahead, right? I'm not the best, I'm still learning, but it's fun as hell to have an audience.
One of the first songs I've ever learned was Disengage by Suicide Silence, and I almost have the little bit in the middle that differs from the normal four or five notes through the entire song.
When I was done I had a girl ask me if the song was by Bring Me The Horizon...
I still haven't recovered.
Delucys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:44 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ew
SonFrieza ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:06 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in the 6th grade a girl asked the teacher what a tarantula was
ZoiSarah ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:30 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I do train me people at my office job. Any question that can easily be researched and I know they are just asking because it's faster for them is a stupid question. I value my time, thus is why the information is written down for you.
lilblue22 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:41 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't lie, this post is a stupid question. Any normal nazi moderator would have deleted it.
iWish_is_taken ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:13 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question should have been phrased... "Teachers: When did a student make their learning disability (that you should have know about by now) so obvious that it could no longer be ignored, yet you did nothing about it and now make fun of them on reddit for karma?"
For future reference... humans aren't supposed to be this dumb. There is something actually wrong with them (various forms and levels of learning disabilities and/or mental illness) and they need intervention and help.
BKtoDuval ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:45 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems most of these stupid questions have to do with science themes. We now have a president who doesn't want to acknowledge science as a real thing. Man, imagine what those stupid questions will be in ten years.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:39:05 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember this Jew girl at classroom asking another Jew friend if they do believe in dinosaurs. The class was not sure what to make of it.