I dunno. Like, think about it. His grandpa was somehow there every time he ever drank a soda in the heat. There's something going on there.

I actually pulled the same trick back on him a few years ago on his birthday (it's in July so prime hot month right there). He grabbed his can and got a puzzled look on his face and looked at me. I shrugged and said "guess it evaporated" with a smirk. He laughed and I said "I believed that for years!" He said he was wondering if I ever figured it out lol. Now it's like a joke we play on my baby cousins who are all around the age of "I believe soda evaporates fast" age of 6. I don't wait 10 years to tell them though lol

I'm slowly getting there.

Fuck that thought process indeed. I'm slowly making progress, but the crippling "I'm not deserving" and/or the "I'm selfish" thoughts are still ambushing me every once in a while.

What do i do to unlearn this

beat around the bush

Do they like that?

That was the hardest concept to get through to myself. I had 0 self worth.

You have to learn which people are worth taking care of. If you care for the right people that sweet karma will come back to you when you're in need.

The same happens to me, especially at work.

I get you. It really sucks growing up with this mindset because when you DO actually get something, you either feel really guilty or you are made to feel like shit.

Same here, currently around 3000 euro in debt because I'd rather buy videogames and sneakers and milkshakes than pay my bills.

No they had that one down

Best example I can think of is when my mother says "I didn't know" to others it sounds like "I see no".

Oh yeah deaf people do.

We know anything vibrating or moving makes a sound.

Wolfgang Helmoot sounds like a badass name!

It's "Helmut". It's a common German name for men born in the 1920s and 1930s, such as the former chancellors Helmut Schmidt and Helmut Kohl.

I would have misbehaved all the time

That's not a threat that's an incentive.

It's actually Helmut. Nobodies actually called helmoot afaik

I'm guessing *Helmut

I'm pretty sure he meant Helmut and not Helmoot 😃

As it is a german name I would imagine it's Helmut not helmoot, U is pronounced like OO :)

Wouldn't it be Helmut though?

What are you complaining about, that's an awesome name! I'm going to name my future son or daughter Wolfgang Helmoot now.

this would have made me the most misbehaved child in the history of ever

Ours was Archibald Faggerbakker

As a child, that name would be incentive to misbehave.

You probably mean Helmut, that's how the name is written. :P

Same for me, except my dad was the threatener and the name was Ndabaningi Sithole!

Helmut

Hi guys! That's Marc, Christina, Cathrin - and guys this is my date; Wolfgang Helmoot IV of the third Reich.

Do you use underpants as a helmoot?

That's actually amazing

My grandfather has no middle name. He convinced me as a kid that it was because they cost too much money.

If my Grandpa threatened to change my name to Wolfang Helmut IV I would misbehave even more.

Your grandfather didn't just think that - that is actually hilarious.

Is he of German descent? I'm pretty sure he meant Helmut which is pronounced as an English Hell-moot

There's been some messed up stuff in this thread but this ones actually pretty funny

My paternal grandfather constantly campaigned to have my name changed to Orristy Bushy Jones.

It would be written Helmut 😊

And muthafucka would've even give you the 'u' and an umlaut? That's cold.

My dad always told my brother he could very easily be renamed Simpson Strathcona, but i knew it was a joke. Like 95% sure my brother did too, but if my dad pushed it little brother would get all upset

My dad always joked that he wanted to name me Judas Adolf.

Just picked up Wolfgang.helmoot@gmail.

My parents did something like that too. They swore that if I was mean to the babysitter, my evil Uncle Bruce would babysit next time and his dogs would eat me.

As it turns out, I was too scared to pet a dog until I was 10 and I have no Uncle Bruce.

Helmut

My dad threatened me with the name Waldo Wilbur and my sister with Mabel.

That might be because Helmoot isn't a name, so that point is (hel)moot.

If you're talking about Helmut, on the other hand...

My grandpa is a bit similar, since I am little, and still now, he likes calling me other names.

Things include Robert, Adolf, Hubert, Abraham, Rudolphus...all old fashioned names xD

"Hey rudolhpus! How are you? " :D

If that was me, I would've been a little shit from that point on. Wolfgang Helmoot IV is a ridiculously awesome name.

He probably said Wolfgang Helmuth

The young wolf

My cousin's dad literally almost named him Wolfgang Bloodaxe

Whats wrong with Wolfgang? =(

I almost started Crying when i read this, i'm at work..... Got to hold it back.... You're grandfather has an AWESOME sense of humor! lmao <3

Err, if your grandfather actually pulled off convincing your father they might have been able to pull it off...

that is fucking hilarious. thank you for sharing

Lul, Wolfgang is a german male name

you should seriously make this your reddit name!

This name is so badass. I have stolen it now. Thank you :)

Romania?

I found out when I was 19 that my dad misspelled my middle name on the forms. So I've been 'named like the month' all my life for nada. It's Mae dad, not May!!

When I was getting my first passport (around 14 years old) my parents told me that they had lied to me about my middle name and that it was something different. Still had the same middle initial so up until then never had a big impact. But for the next couple years I occasionally had to call my dad and ask how my middle name was spelled because I hadn't remembered the new one yet.

Similar thing happened to me except it was with my first name. I naturally assumed the name I always went by, and the name everybody called me, was my first name. Turns out I was wrong when I dug up my birth certificate and found a completely different first name. I've contemplated legally changing my name a couple of times, but I've just never been able to bring myself to do it. Just seems wrong for some reason.

Wikipedia is telling me North America and the UK use red pepper, green pepper, or bell pepper and New Zealand, Australia, Singapore and India use capsicum. Weird shit, I've never heard capsicum before today. It sounds like a spice.

bell peppers

I was wondering what the fuck capsicum was. Thanks for looking it up for me.

I call them bell peppers. Never heard the term capsicum before.

"Peppers" is very common in the US, but I'm not from the US.

Why the hell would you call them peppers? That's needlessly confusing, pepper is already a thing.

Because they aren't peppers. It was s misnomer.

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I have two middle names. I was named after my grandfather, so it never seemed weird. A little confusing as a child in school when filling out standardized forms, but I really like my full name.

I have no objection to two middle names as a general principle.

You just don't make one up to troll your 6 or 7 year old child.

Both of my kids have two middle names. Makes em more rhythmic lol

I've got two middle names. It's pretty cool, friends get weirded out by it for some reason.

Yeah, I mispelled it, sorry.

I don't think so; she might have read the novel but I don't think so (she did watch the TV series but this was long before the TV series).

Because she thought it would be funny. If I had been less gullible, it would have been

Weird because trolling doesn't work as well if you're not freaking out the victim.

Nope, no context I can think of, it sort of came out of the blue. Just one day we were chatting about something in the kitchen. (Well, maybe we were talking about my actual middle name, I don't remember -- but I don't think it was even that)

Yep, that's how she said it.

No, that was me. She only said it. I expect she'd have spelled it wrong too, she was a way worse speller than me.

Well, she never wrote it down, so for all I know she probably spelled it "Allah-wishes" for extra troll value.

In my case not all that much in the way of marks -- I can't say I even thought about it more than a small handful of times since adulthood, generally when something (like this question) prompts me to think about events like that.

It was literally -- as the title suggests -- something I "learned" (I now have two very unusual middle names) that I later had to unlearn (since it wasn't true).

Such stories are nearly always going to involve parents tell you something that's untrue, so either they're mistaken or they're misleading you, so of course there'll be a lot of the second one come out in a thread like this.

While it was certainly embarrassing to me at the time (I felt like an idiot for believing it, and for writing it in my books and telling people that was my name, and so on), it wasn't the worst thing that happened to me by a long way.

I think a certain amount of trolling of kids can be useful, when there's a point to it. [Well, it did teach me something about gullibility, but if that was the intent it needed to be followed up by the reveal much quicker than it was to be really useful.]

No. Actually that would work with Aloysius pretty well... (though still not with my pre-existing middle name in there as well).

Oh, but it would give you the initials FAP which might be a problem.

When I was a skinny teenage girl, my parents bought me a men's large rain jacket from LL Bean. I'm now an adult who's 20 pounds overweight and it's STILL way too big. WTF were they thinking? "These things are expensive, and I'm sure our girl will grow up to play linebacker for the Jets"?

My mom used to take me clothes shopping and squeeze the butts of jeans to make sure they were super duper loose so "you don't look like a slut". I have a naturally enormous ass, so I was always wearing jeans that were incredibly loose with belts, just so my ass "didn't look like a slut". And they were always mens jeans.

Sorry, I hope one day you find clothes that are 10/10

My mom did the same thing. It's almost like she was expecting me to grow up fat.

Edit: to clarify, I didn't. But she and my father did and with the way she fed me I'm surprised I didn't.

My mom convinced me to buy a xxl letterman jacket in high school since my dad is a pretty big dude. At 6' tall and 175 pounds I still can't wear that thing. As a result I never got to wear it. Whenever my mom is trying to convince me of something that she thinks is a good idea I'll jokingly bring up the letterman jacket.

To be fair, that was kind of the style back then. She probably just wanted you to be cool.

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&q=JNCO%20jeans&tbs=imgo:1

Haha, my grandmother used to be responsible for buying my clothes. She put me in an 8 when I was a 2/4ish. Also, my pants would always be near my ankles because she didn't like the pants to drag on the floor.

Yup same thing here. She'd buy everything to grow into, but I stopped growing when I was about 12. She'd also buy coats and such a few sizes to large because they "had to fit over my other clothes so they need to be bigger" . That's not how it works, mom

My mom bought my middle school, size 2 self size 12 jeans because I was 12 years old :( I didn't realize why not even a belt was keeping it on until high school

Mum loves to buy me clothes even though I'm 19 now. She still forgets I'm not going to be growing into stuff any more.

Similar situation here. My parents used to buy me shoes which were one size larger when I was a kid, because I'd grow out of them (which was wrong for a thousand reasons but fuck that).

I grew up thinking my shoe size was one size bigger than my foot. I figured out my real size 5 years ago at the age of 27. First shoes that actually fit my foot felt awesome.

Those amazing jinco jeans

never wore 9/10 pants and a very big bra?

you need about 3.50

There's this italian grandmother a few replies up in the thread that will take care of that shit for you!

10/10 with rice.

Random rant: why the fuck can't most shops keep inventory of size small / medium for men. There atleast quite a lot of people (not the majority, but pretty much close to the xl class) in the country I live in. :(

She had bigger hopes for you

My dad bought me size 9 gloves when I was 9 years old because he thought that size 9 was meant for 9 year olds. ;_;

This. There's still clothes packed away somewhere that my mother bought for me as a teenager that I would still not even come close to fitting in. Hell, I'm 26 and she still buys me medium shirts every now and then despite me telling her every single time that I'm a small.

I read that 3 times super confused until I realized you must be a woman

Eat rice.

Guy from Asia here, for me the dialogue between my mother and the shopkeeper went like this.

S: "This size should definitely fit him mam, it looks really good on him."

M: "Okay. Give me two sizes above that. Kids grow up very fast."

S: "Okay sure."

For a very long time I used to look like a scarecrow dressed with such lose clothes :/.

Some of the stuff I got when I was between 10-15, still fit me ten years later.

Size 9 exists... I've only ever seen even numbers 😳

Isn't George Wallace already black?

My mum bought me jeans to last me all the way through childhood. Bought me everything from a size 8 all the way up to a 16 (when I was 10 years old and a size 8)... I still don't fit into the 16s a decade later.

And she was always worried if there was enough room in the crotch.

I've never known a 9/10

Give it a few more years. Your body will come around.

Sorry where are you from? Size 3 is not a thing is Ireland, so I don't know how much of a difference there is between a 3 and a 9.

When I was 12 my mom bought me an adult L shirt saying I would grow into it. My Pony League Baseball clothes were all adult large.

I am now 26 and have never weighed more than 135lbs. Medium is a little baggy on me.

You jumped from 8 to 11?

INB4 "…with rice" jokes.

So this sagging trend originated from the thrifty logic of mothers.

have you worn a size 9/11

I'm getting some crazy deja vu from this comment.

My family is the opposite. As a kid I was short and skinny. I gained weight, mostly muscle, in high school and was more of an athletic build than skinny. Senior year of college I gain some weight and am past athletic but not really fat.

My family still buys me Small everything. My older sister (who in high school gained weight and was bigger than me most of that time but now has lost some weight and gained more muscle) buys clothes for me that are a little tight in her. She doesn't understand that she is smaller.

I have to really stress that I wear mediums and with my favorite aunt, I just go to the store to exchange clothes.

I didn't even realize that I was actually a size 3/4 and not a size 9 until I was 19. My parents always made me dress in clothes that was way too big. My stepdad because he was creepy and my mom because my body was a bad thing and if anyone could remotely see the outline, I was a slut who wanted to "attract grown men". It was embarrassing that there was no point to even shop for trendy clothes anymore because the sizes they made me wear looked ridiculous on me. I spent the majority of high school in sweats and basketball shorts. I still remember buying clothes for myself after I'd moved out, and putting on a pair of pants that were actually my size and realizing what it felt like to wear clothes that fit.

Your parents were low on cash and bought something that'd fit for years not for a year

You could wear a 9/10 with enough rice

My stepdad used to do that... And called me fat. I've never weighed more than 135lbs.

OMG yes. When I was 16 my mom made me wear size 10 tennis shoes "because I was just going to grow." I'm 28 now and still a 7 1/2. Needless to say PE class was miserable that year.

Not sure if that's the effect of frugal parents. Buying clothes that are too big just in case you grow to fill them rather than needing to buy new clothes.

My wife wears the T-shirt mom bought me in Elementary school to bed. I never got to wear that shit myself. It was always too big until I out grew it.

/r/blunderyears

Oh god yeah, I'm like a size 8 and my step mom made me buy size 12s last year. Not quite as bad as your situation, but God it was embarrassing having to wear those baggy ass jeans to school.

humblebrag (nah, I'm just jealous).

because I was "just going to keep getting bigger."

Wow, way to give your child huge body issues..

Have you ever tried a 5/7?

Brag

Try adding rice.

That sounds like a passive aggressive narcissist trying to pass their body issues onto you

GODDAMMIT I'M 24 AND THE SAME HEIGHT AND I ONLY FIGURED THAT OUT LIKE 2 MONTHS AGO

God fucking dammit, all my life buying large because "I'm tall", then I try a medium shirt and it's like why the fuck did I wear entire curtains all this time I look good in this

e: lots of gr8 tips of tall people shops for all my fellow talls who happen to be American, thanks for all the suggestions guys, even if they don't work for me because there's no such mythical entity as tall people shops in my neck of the woods

The sentence "they'll shrink" is one I'm well acquainted with. They never shrunk enough to constitute an entire size up, though. I'm both long legged and long torsoed, while mom is both short legged and short torsoed. To her, I might as well be an alien

I have a similar problem. It is damn near impossible to find 32long jeans in the UK. Apparently tall people aren't allowed to like keeping their waste line down anymore.

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For me, the problem is that if I buy shirts big enough for my neck and body, they still aren't usually long enough. Formal shirts in particular pull out of my trouser waist all the time.

I have the opposite problem. I'm only average in height (5'10") but I have short legs and a long waist.

A tshirt that fits just right across the shoulders and chest is always too short. Any movement and you can see my stomach.

And dress shirts are similar, get one that fits across the shoulders and chest nicely and I either have to deal with them coming out every time i sit down or lift my arms up, or wear my pants up way too high.

Medium, slim fit.

Calvin Klein makes the best button ups for slim fit in my experience. Skinny fit will probably not have the shoulder width.

Large tall is a wonderful size. I believe there are medium talls too, both from AE.

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Funny enough it's the opposite for me my mom would buy me more restrictive clothes so I hated that they were tight and stuffy now all my shirts are at least a size to large for me because I enjoy the baggy feeling

As a 6'2" 250lb guy, buying shirts that fit in the shoulders is hard... XL fit ok except they are short, but XLT is like a skirt. There's almost a foot of Extra on the tall shirts.

It's not just you.

This is hilarious because literally last month I discovered the same... Ahhh medium tall :) best fit ever

Sounds like you wear an extra medium.

The medium tall stuff is a god send for shirts.

Yup this, i was 6'3" and 135 in high school wearing larges now im 180 and wearing mediums and still have room.

I'm a short guy (5'7") and this is the thing most people don't realize about men's sizes, going up in sizes is more about width than height. I wear a medium as I have broad shoulders (though I can fit in smalls usually) and my 6'3" friend wears a medium or large if it's a slimmer fitting shirt. If length is an issue you can usually get a size called medium tall for nice clothes like dress shirts and such.

pretty much the exact same thing happened to me. 6'3" here also and yet small size shirts fit me perfectly but grew up with parents thinking i needed bigger shirts.

Sigh, this is so true with me, medium fits perfect, but here's where the sigh comes in, one wash and they're too short. Large is way too big.

100% the same! medium athletic cut tee's make me look amazing. So much different from the Large and Extra large that I had growing up... 6'2" 160 here!

This! Exactly this!

I feel you. 6' 2" and 155 pounds I accidentally ordered a large tshirt and found out that large is expected to also be wide but medium is not. Ugh I wish there was a skinny tall store!

Yeah, I've had similar issues. I'm 6'1" and same thing; my legs are long, but my torso is pretty average. My arms are actually short. You know that thing where your arm-span (hand-to-hand) is basically meant to be around the same as your height? Yeah, mine is a good 1-2 foot shy of that.

I also have a longer than average neck.

But anyway, I feel your pain.

Kewl story, tell it again! :)

I'm the same height but the opposite effect. My inseam is 28 so I have to get LT.

As a 6'3 guy with long legs and a short torso, I think I'm similar. The problem is that I have long arms to go with my legs. Medium shirts don't fit across the shoulder and I would have to button the cuffs across my forearms. Do you not have those problems?

Jeez Ma, it's called Tall sizes!

I'm 6'2" and 165 lbs. I have to wear dress shirts to work and I wear nothing but slim fit large. It's absolutely wonderful to have so many shirts that fit so well.

Makes me sad as a 5ft 4 man when I walk into a shop and the size Small tshirts go half-way down my thighs. Like goddamit who are all these people with really long torsos?!

Clothes Shopping is a such a chore for us shorts and talls.

Same story here. Once I got out and started buying my own clothes, I realized I actually had it in me to be attractive. That was eye-opening.

I'm the opposite, I love wearing right pants and a loose shirt.

I look like a nuclear explosion

I have always worn large shirts. The other day I decided to see if medium would work, because my shirts were always too long and I wanted something that fit closer to my waste. So I try on the medium and ITS THE SAME FUCKING LENGTH. What are they trying to assume about our size?!

Dude, I'm 6'1 130lbs. Adult Medium are not much longer than Adult S. It really just depends who manufactured the shirt. If a shirt manufacturer isn't dirt cheap, an S will be long enough. (Good clothes are usually longer, because it means they aren't cheap with cloth).

My mother also swears that I am 6'4 even though I'm not even close to that tall.

For what it's worth, they don't really get narrower below medium either.

Source: 5'6 and half stick insect.

Same here, 6'0", and I always bought larges because of my mom. One day I looked at myself and realized maybe the sleeve shouldn't be at my elbow. :D

The problem is when you're normal width but longer. They make LT, XLT, etc but I've never seen an MT.

I'm the same body shape so I'm super into longer cut tees nowadays because they fit well on top but also counter my freakishly lanky legs

Fuck, I was so happy discovering this lately, medium is my life now.

My pants are 34 x 34 usually but I have to make sure they're marked as "thin".

You can still wear larges (mediums were way to small for me, even though I'm thin). Just have to get them in "long" or "thin" size.

I'm 6'4" and I never knew that shirts are made in tall size until I was like 20. I had to buy 2-3xl just to be able to tuck my shirt in and they were super baggy.

Finally found out I'm either a L or xl tall and now my shit fits and I could consider a concealed carry permit.

Haha I was in exact same position

I feel this pain. Finding slim fit shirts is the best thing ever.

are you me?

I feel for you. My problem is similar, in the fact that I need an XL because of my size, but because my torso is disproportionately long, I end up needing more length to tuck in the shirt or at least have it pass my belt, but XXL only goes down an inch at most, so if I go with the XXL to extend it far enough down, I could smuggle my 6 year old in my shirt no problem.

And all comment about Big & Tall stores is fine, but the stuff there are no-name brands. Not much cool. Try JC Penny's, they have decent stuff, and for dress attire, go with Jos A Bank when they have a 3-for-1 deal, because their stuff is quality and you will get your money's worth, and they have tall sizes.

You can also buy tall medium or large medium shirts from some companies, which are pretty nice, if the length is an issue

Shit I am 6'5" but my legs are like your torso like I wear a 28 length pants buying shirts suck so hard for me.

I hate that shit, my work makes me wear one of those shirts. Their goal is to look professional but it just looks ridiculous when im walking around work in a parachute looking shirt tucked into my damn pants!

Oh that's good to know. I've lost a little weight recently but I have a long torso so I kept buying large because I didn't want it to be any shorter. Time to go try on a medium I guess.

I am your opposite! I am 6'3" with a VERY long torso and average sized legs. Finding shirts that are long enough for me is annoying. I definitely haven't weighed 152 pounds in a long time though. (Right now I am more like 250.)

I'm guessing American sizes are different. I'm 6'1" and definitely need a large (sort of skinny but broad shoulders)

The sleeves definitely get longer, so it makes it even worse

Those long tshirts thugs like to wear are a godsend for tall guys.

This. Once I discovered tall sizes for t-shirts, I never went back.

My cousin has the opposite problem - he's 6'6", with legs that are on the tall side, but not unheard of, and a very tall torso. The problem being that, after a medium, men's shirts don't get much longer, just wider.

hmm that hasn't been my experience with medium shirts. I am 6'-6'1 and slender, and I can pull off a large but medium is like wearing a kids shirt

My mom said the same stuff! Shirts never shrunk a whole size. I never understood why she wanted me to look like a bag lady.

I'm 5'7" and my parents still get me medium shirts (like they did when I was a kid since I wasn't the shortest but not the tallest). I wear a small. If they make extra small, those can fit even better (American apparel).

People have a lot of trouble with height and fit.

Was 6'2" and 145lbs junior and senior hear of high school and mom did the same thing. I didn't figure it out til about 25 and shortly after my metabolism slowed down and I finally jumped up to 185lbs between then and 30 so large shirts actually fit now.

this is true i am about the same lenght but long torso there is a special letter marking for shirts with long torsos. which is really logical if you think about it. (people who get fatter needs a bigger tube not a longer one while a normal weight person with a long torso should need the same size tube)

My husband recently went shopping by himself and got 2 new shirts in a large... for some reason. He wears a medium/small. I guess he thinks he's gained weight or something, but... yeah, he looked a bit like one of those kids from the 80's who wore shirts that might have fit their dads.

Yes! I had the same thing, always buying L, even after I lost weight.

I used to work with a guy that was 6'6" and mostly torso. He would wear XXXL dress shirts for a catering job and the sleeves only came about halfway down his forearm.

I'm a size 2 or 4 teen. Mom likes to buy me XXL childrens, which is made to fit fat kids, or size 8.

It's super confusing to be led into a changing room where everyone else is eight while your mom insists everything will fit. Like.... These jeans are too short and too wide???? How did you pull this off.

As someone who works specifically to fit clothes I can't begin to explain how important it is.

Always wear clothes that fit you and are the correct length, not only do you look better but you feel amazing.

My fiance is the opposite. She puts on clothes that fit perfectly and she's like "I don't like it, it's too tight, it squeezes my fat out the seams." She's 5'5" and 125 lbs. She's got body issues. And everything I say to address her issues is mean and judgemental. Idk what to do. Idk how much longer I can deal with it.

"HERE, TRY THIS BURKA!"

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I used to be quite thin and people always did this to me for some reason. I've been everything from a size zero to a twelve, but when I was in the 0-6 sort of range people would always insist on giving me bigger sizes. I'm a true hourglass, my waist is 10" smaller than my hips and boobs, so I need something that comes in at the waist or I look like a sack. Loose clothes are not going to do me any favours. I don't know why people have this weird obsession with thinking super baggy clothing fits properly.

Did she grow up in the great depression, where people made their clothes out of flour sacks?

Mine would do the same as well...

Maybe she thinks you're David Byrne.

Last Christmas my mom bought me a pair of XXL pajama pants. At best I wear a large. I don't understand why she bought them so big.

OMG PERFECT FIT!

That was pretty fuckin funny.

The you can't cheat in these trick.

I had to wear burlap sacks for clothes because life was hard back then!

wow I thought I was the only one...

Hiding you.

How big was she at your age? Many women never ever get over dressing up their little doll of a girl.

My mom does this too :(

I am actually overweight but not by much. And she will buy me xxl clothes. That could fit two or three of me. And then tells me I have a flat ass.

Bitch, I have a fabulous booty.

Literally died at "wut"

...what are these sizes? You have a six inch waist?

What size does she wear?

She didn't want to buy you a bunch of new clothes every year. So she trys to convince you that it is how it should be.

literally like

Nice

"that looks too tight. Your stomach hangs out over that" I own a uterus of course I have extra fat there.

"Well... It looks like you have love handles too." I have violin hips. I could be butt-ass naked and my hips would still look like that.

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Let us pour one out for the fellow skinny-but-long teens wearing size larges

It's okay to try on other sizes.

Actually, my username came from a failed pickup line I tried to tell a boy I was running a relay race with at 4AM

Get it right.

Mom always made me buy bikinis that were so big I looked like I was wearing a diaper :( I feel you(r underwear)

My older sister went to a private college and started fucking a doctor's daughter, while also getting a degree in environmental policy and networking so well that a couple companies begged her to work for them.

Guess which one of us is the family disappointment.

Is ragamuffin a nostalgia thing now? Shit.

I looked uh, totally whack yo. (I'm keeping up with the youth)

Honestly, mom would.

My sister in law is very sweet and she didn't say it in those exact words, actually. I'm the asshole here.

To be fair, my SIL and I are incredibly close because of how much we hang out during summer while my sister is working up north. Decent brushes would be a sweet gift though, and maybe slip a good youtuber to watch into a conversation

Ha, my mother bought me a pair of size 9 boots when I wore size 6. I got her to return them by kicking my leg up and watching the boot go flying off.

Not so deep actually. East LA Mexican mom.

Oh no, no offense to the local ragamuffins, I just want to be a designeramuffin

Mom's not a narcissist, but her mother is and she picked up the habits. I wish you all luck.

You've never gotten a yeast infection in your dick? Consider yourself lucky.

My mom thought I had an eating disorder. The truth is that I just didn't want to eat plain, boiled chicken for dinner 5 days a week.